


In pursuit of Olympic dreams

by ladyzeia



Category: Free!
Genre: 2016 Summer Olympics, AU to TM/TYM/S3, Alternate Timeline, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Japanese National Team, M/M, Slow Burn, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:53:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 45
Words: 588,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyzeia/pseuds/ladyzeia
Summary: Rin returns to Japan with one goal in mind: Rio. He's got it all planned out—kill it at the Olympic Trials, make the National Team, and—in Rio—show the world. Falling in love, though? That isn't supposed to happen… Olympic Free. Language, adult situations. RinHaru/HaruRin.About the rating: There will be a few chapters with mature content in this version.  For the teen version, please read onffnet.Complete + Epilogue + Artwork by Yohao88





	1. The individual medley of coming home

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Free – Iwatobi Swim Club or any of its characters. I've used references to some real-life places, institutions, and events, but all characters are fictional and there is no intended resemblance or relation to any real-life individuals.
> 
> Please note that while I’ve tried to be as realistic as possible with regards to the Japanese Olympic selection process and FINA rules, what’s written here reflects my understanding at the time and is not 100% accurate. Additionally, in some cases I have purposely changed things for the sake of the story. 
> 
> This is not the Rome 2009 timeline, b/c I didn't know about that or the leg skin ban when I started writing. ~~*sigh*~~ Additionally, aside from a few details I've pulled in here and there, this fic is AU to TM and TYM (no major spoilers), and will be AU to S3.
> 
> Beta by my dear friend, M.H.
> 
> Chapters 1 through 15 originally posted on ffnet, 23 July 2016 through 13 Jan 2017.

One year prior ~

* * *

_The setting sun cast streaks of fiery orange and indigo across the surface of the blossom-strewn pool. Everyone who had any sense at all got out of the water when the temperature rapidly dipped—everyone except Haru. Any other day, Rin would've sighed, rolled his eyes, clicked his tongue or something and stood there with a hand perched on his hip, chiding his friend about making himself ill. Today, though…_

_Haru floated lazily on his back with his eyes closed amidst the drifts of pink petals, the dying sunlight sparkling off his skin and black hair._

_Rin was halfway to the door, with his Samezuka warmup jacket draped on his shoulders, his leg skins still damp, clutching a towel in one hand. Footsteps, conversation, and bits of laughter receded behind him._

" _Rin, you coming?" Sousuke asked, his deep voice quiet and emanating from somewhere near the locker room door._

" _Yeah… In a minute." Rin walked forward instead, chucking his towel and jacket onto the slick tile. He dove in smoothly, penetrating the glossy, cool water, and surfaced with a slight shiver from the cold. "Haru." Rin pushed dripping strands of crimson hair from his face as his feet found the bottom._

_Haru didn't respond, his chest rising and falling slowly with breath, though Rin knew he couldn't be asleep._

" _Haru." Rin lowered his voice, dropping his hand back into the water, sending a circle of cherry blossoms rippling outward from the motion. "I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll be back for the Olympic Trials next April, so…" His left hand curled near his thigh, his mouth flattening into a hard line. "So I'd better see you there."_

_Haru exhaled as he rolled over and stood up, shaking his head to flick the droplets from his face and hair. "I already told you I'd be there. Why are you bringing it up again?" Water and petals slid across his skin as he moved, starting to glide past Rin towards the side of the pool._

_Rin reached out, snagging one of Haru's wrists. Haru's skin was cold to the touch from his time in the water. "Because I mean it," he said, his fingers tightening a little._

_Haru stopped, turning slightly, his ocean-blue eyes narrowed. "So do I."_

_A chilly breeze brushed against them, rustling the swells of petals that rested on the water's surface._

_Rin's skin was immediately riddled with gooseflesh, but he held Haru's gaze a moment longer. He wasn't mad, exactly. It was just easier than other things…like saying goodbye._

_At length, Haru looked away and sighed. "Rin." Haru's eyes flicked towards him aside, no more than a glance; a slight press of lips and the faint softening of that water-blue gaze were traces of emotion in an otherwise dispassionate face. "You have petals in your hair."_

_Rin's eyes widened slightly—involuntarily, his grip slipping. Haru pulled away and Rin let him go. He hated goodbyes, even when it was only for a year, even when it was something he had to do. He finger-combed the silken blossoms from his wet hair, listening to the sound of the water as his friend swam to the side of the pool and climbed out._

_Good enough. He'd managed to keep it together. But Rin still waited a moment more, gathering himself with a breath, before he followed._

* * *

Sunday, April 3rd, 2016

* * *

The sign on the wall above the escalators read ' _Yokoso! Welcome to Japan,'_ over a background of Mount Fuji, capped with snow and wreathed in branches laden with cherry blossoms. Rin spared it no more than a glance as he rode down towards Immigration and Customs, in line with the others who had just gotten off the Sydney flight, music playing in his earbuds. When he stepped off at the bottom and started walking again, the strap off his duffle bag slipped off his shoulder. Rin righted it without stopping, tucking the strap tightly under the hood of his dark gray sweatshirt. He thrust his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his eyes shadowed from the glare of overhead lighting by the brim of the baseball cap he wore.

After all the necessary forms, passport stamps, and procedures, he carted his luggage with him as he exited into the Arrivals section of the airport, his music off and ear buds draped around his neck, dangling against his T-shirt, as he scanned the crowd—

"Rin, over here."

Rin paused when he heard his name, glancing in that direction… Well, it wasn't hard to find Sousuke. The man towered head and shoulders over the people he stood next to.

Sousuke had a hand lifted in greeting and a warm look on his face that couldn't quite be called a smile. The clothes weren't as familiar. Instead of casual or athletic wear, Sousuke wore tailored, charcoal gray trousers, a button-down shirt in a checked pattern, and a lightweight black jacket in denim.

Rin smiled, tightening his grip on his bags and heading over. "Yo. Thanks for coming to get me."

"'Course." Sousuke did smile then, his green eyes flicking over Rin's luggage. "Is that all you brought?"

Rin looked at his duffle bag and suitcase. "What, this isn't enough?"

"For a few weeks, sure. For coming home…"

Rin rolled his eyes. "Everything I need is here. Just because you pack like a girl doesn't mean I have to."

A withering look crossed his friend's face. "It's called being prepared, Rin. Don't tell me you're still irritated about our closet back at Samezuka."

"Nah. I'd forgotten about it until just now. Though—" he grinned "—I'm a little worried now, what I'll find at your place. You've been shopping again."

Sousuke sighed, scrubbing one hand through shards of short, black hair. "I made room." He turned. "Come on. You want help with one of those?"

Rin shrugged, but relinquished his suitcase. "Thanks."

Sousuke took hold of the bag with his left hand.

As they headed for the escalators, Rin trailed his friend slightly, eyeing the shifting of muscle beneath the jacket Sousuke wore. "How's the shoulder?"

"Eh, the same."

"…So you're not going to?"

Sousuke shook his head. "No, I didn't change my mind."

Rin exhaled as a knot of disappointment formed in his stomach. He couldn't blame Sousuke for making that decision, but it still sucked. Somehow, he'd always hoped that some miracle would happen, that Sousuke's shoulder would heal completely, that they'd swim together in the Olympic Trials.

"Don't make that face, Rin." Sousuke, two steps down from him on the escalator, was looking back over his shoulder.

Rin gathered himself, his lips flattening into a line; he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I'm not."

Amusement danced in Sousuke's eyes before he turned away.

-x-

It was evening and they took the express train into Tokyo. Rin watched the sun set—red and golden through pockets of clouds and rain—over familiar terrain and cities. He'd been this way often, coming and going from Sydney. This time, though, he was coming home to realize his dream. All the years of training abroad, of giving up everything in pursuit of this one goal—all of that hard work and sacrifice was about to pay off.

They transferred at Tokyo Station, taking the subway up north. Sousuke's apartment wasn't far from Todai's Hongo Campus. The building was broad and white, balconies colorful with neon hangers for drying clothes and small wind chimes dangling from the eaves. A narrow elevator took them to the fourth floor.

"Are you hungry?" Sousuke asked as he unlocked and opened the door to his place. "Or maybe you just want to sleep?"

Rin shook his head. "Nah, I need to go for a run. I can feel it in my body, that I've been sitting on a plane for the last nine hours."

Sousuke smiled faintly. "I'll come with you."

The bathroom was to the left off the entryway, the bedroom straight ahead. To the right, there was a small main room that led out onto the balcony, with a kitchen attached. There was an alcove with _tatami_ flooring and a _kotatsu_. Every table surface was covered with medical books and notebooks, binders. The décor was a few pieces of abstract art, with whites and grays as the predominant colors.

Sousuke set Rin's bag down in the main room. "Do you want the futon or the bed?"

Rin snorted. "I'm not putting you out of your bed, Sousuke. I'm the one crashing."

The larger man shrugged. "If you'd sleep better, I don't care."

" _Tch_. Don't baby me. The futon will be fine."

-x-

They changed and headed back downstairs. Rin stretched a little in his light jacket and running gear—black with slashes of yellow and silver reflective material. He gathered his hair back into a tiny tail. It was cooler here than in Sydney, breezier and less humid. The sky was overcast; it looked like it would rain overnight. He couldn't help but miss running along the beach, either in Sydney or back home in Iwatobi. But dreams came first.

"Are you ready?" he asked Sousuke in English.

Sousuke flicked his eyes skyward and joined him.

Under darkened skies and in bright pools of street lamps, they jogged down the narrow street and ran past the station. Eventually, they were turning down broad, tree lined paths on the edge of the university's campus.

"How're your studies?" Rin asked.

"Brutal." Sousuke was slightly out of breath. "Pre-med isn't for the faint of heart."

"Whatever. I'm sure you're killing it as always." He slowed to a jog, letting Sousuke rest a little.

"I've got a meeting with one of my professors in the morning, but I'll make it out in the afternoon. Certainly before the finals."

Rin shrugged. "Haru and I aren't swimming in any of the programs tomorrow. It's all the four-hundred meter stuff."

Sousuke exhaled, his next words spoken under his breath. "'Haru and I'…huh."

Rin glanced at him as they passed by a tall, ornate hall of beige brick. "Did you say something?"

"Have you talked to him yet? Nanase." Sousuke paused. "His place isn't that far away, if you wanted to meet up."

"Nah." Rin slowed to a walk, wiping the sweat from his brow with his sleeve. "Not until the starting blocks. That's what we agreed. We're in the two-hundred meter free on Tuesday."

When Sousuke didn't answer, Rin looked back at him.

Sousuke's face was grave, the pale street lights illuminating swaths of his face, leaving the rest in shadow. "You know you're racing against the clock, right? Beating Nanase isn't enough."

"I know that." Rin turned away, taking it up to a run again. _Like I could ever forget that._

* * *

Monday, April 4th, 2016

* * *

It took just about an hour, by train, from Sousuke's place down to the Tokyo Tatsumi International Swimming Center on Tokyo Bay. Rin carried his gear bag, slung over one shoulder, in his black and red warmups with a rain jacket over top. Even if he wasn't competing today, he needed to get in the water. Outside, the clouds were low over the city, obscuring the tops of the skyscrapers, heavy with impending rain showers.

Among the crowds of morning Tokyo commuters, Rin could pick out other competitors with their gear, particularly the closer he got to the bay. Seven days of events, seventy-two programs with all the prelims, semi-finals, and finals included. And only two Olympic spots up for grabs in each event, provided the times qualified. JASF Olympic qualifying times were faster than FINA's official Olympic qualifying times, and by a decent margin. Just as well. He'd watched his Australian teammates sail by the official times like the clocks were standing still. Passing that hurdle didn't mean you were in contention with the best in the world.

As a light rain began to fall, Rin got off at Tatsumi station and merged into the sea of multi-colored umbrellas as crowds of people headed for the venue; he pulled the brim of his cap lower to shield his face from the rain. Buses lined the north side of the street, letting off scores of athletes in identical uniforms from all of the biggest swimming schools and clubs in the country. He was the odd man out this time. He didn't know of anyone else who had gone to train in Australia; a handful of competitors had trained in the States, however—big names with amazing times. This wasn't their little Iwatobi-Samezuka pond anymore.

He found himself looking around for familiar uniforms. There would be a few Samezuka alumni competing and the school had a long tradition of sending its elite swimmers to the Olympic Trials for inspiration's sake. But he was really looking for the navy blue uniforms from Koutei University—Haru's school. Koutei's swimming club was the elite of the elite, training under the same man who would coach the Japanese Olympic Team after it was formed following the Olympic Trials. So far, though, he didn't see anyone he recognized.

In the broad, well-lit entrance hall, Rin checked in at registration and headed down to the locker room. After changing, he went straight downstairs to the warmup pool on the lower level, hoping to get in a few laps before the official events got underway. The fifty-meter pool was already crowded with practicing swimmers, but Rin found an empty half-lane and got to work.

He was three laps into two-hundred meters of butterfly when he felt a familiar presence slide into the lane next to him. Notably, not Haru. He finished the fourth lap and paused to catch his breath, just as the swimmer in the adjacent lane glided up next to him and surfaced, resting on the lane rope.

"Yo, Matsuoka." Mikoshiba Seijuurou grinned at him, pulling off a Koutei University swim cap and goggles to reveal water-dampened sunset-orange hair and golden eyes.

"Mikoshiba." He almost said _Captain_. Rin's eyes immediately flicked towards the starting blocks, looking for Haru.

"He's upstairs."

_Tch_ , was it that obvious? Just written on his face?

Seijuurou laughed. "It's good to see you haven't changed. I'm sure he's looking for you, too." He redonned his cap and goggles. "We'll catch up later."

Rin nodded. "Good luck." He climbed out of the pool as Mikoshiba continued with his warmups. Rin toweled off, watching briefly. Mikoshiba would be swimming in the prelims for both the 400m individual medley and 400m freestyle events this morning.

Of the handful of Samezuka alumni participating in the trials, most had times that were merely good. The spectacular times belonged to him and Mikoshiba. Well, and—

"Rin-senpai! _Rin-senpai!_ " A gleeful, young voice pierced the relative decorum of the warmup pool area.

Rin managed to plant his feet just before the five-foot-eight, seventeen-year-old barreled into him. " _Momo_." He was able to stay upright, peeling the giddy, starry-eyed teen off him.

Mikoshiba Momotarou was in his black and white Samezuka gear and wouldn't even graduate high school until next spring. _If I'd had the same stupidly amazing times at your age…_

"You're back! Did you bring me anything? You're gonna watch me swim tomorrow, right?" Not waiting for an answer, Momo was pulling on his arm. "Hey, you gotta say 'hi' to everyone."

" _Oi_ , Momo—" The kid was also ridiculously strong-armed. Rin finally wrenched his arm free halfway to the locker room. He pulled on his black and red warmups and followed Momo upstairs.

Stepping into the huge stadium with its glossy 50-by-25m pool, the uniformed officials doing their final checks, athletes and spectators gathering in the stands—it hit him fresh. _This is happening_. His dream of becoming an Olympic swimmer was so close he could taste it on the chlorinated air.

"Over here. Over here—" Momo was tugging on his arm again.

Rin gave up, letting himself be led up into the stands towards the Samezuka group.

Momo bounded up the stairs, waving wildly. "Hey guys!"

A dozen or so heads swiveled their direction. "Captain Matsuoka!" "Matsuoka-senpai!"

Rin sighed but smiled, looking over several familiar faces among the third-years and recent grads. They'd been first- and second-years when he'd been captain.

"S-Senpai?" A silver-haired boy pushed through the group. Nitori was dressed in his Samezuka team warmups with an alumni badge on his shoulder; stopping in front of Rin, his large eyes immediately filled with tears, his lower lip quivering. "W-welcome back."

Rin pushed damp hair back from his face. "Yo, Ai." His smile softened. "You're really gonna cry, huh?"

Nitori sniffed hard. "… _Senpai._ " On cue, the waterworks started, thin glistening trails spilling down the boy's cheeks.

Rin exhaled, shaking his friend affectionately. "Swim team captains shouldn't cry, Ai."

Nitori quickly brushed at his tears. "H-hai—"

There was a sudden rush of footsteps, along with a squeal— "Onii-chan!"

Rin turned, just in time to catch his sister as she flung herself into his arms. "Gou."

She was grinning, shards of long crimson hair from her ponytail flying everywhere as she hugged him fiercely. She was wearing one of her bright yellow Iwatobi T-shirts with that weird chicken-looking thing on the front. She'd always insisted it was a penguin, but to him—stick a little red crest on it and the damn thing was a _chicken_. Behind her, also in street clothes—

"Rin-chan, you're back!" Nagisa was beaming, standing between Makoto and Rei. Nagisa's blond hair was as tousled and unruly as ever. The faded athletic jacket he wore was one Rin had seen him in a zillion times before.

"Hey guys…" Rin said, giving Gou a gentle push.

"We're all here! Let's swim a relay for old times' sake! Come on, you guys—" Nagisa tugged simultaneously on Makoto's left arm and Rei's right.

Makoto laughed softly. "Nagisa… They're starting soon." He pulled his arm free, smoothing the sleeve of his shirt. "We can't use the pool. Besides, Haru…"

"Haruka-senpai has team obligations I'm certain," Rei said, adjusting his red glasses. His dark blue shirt matched the color of his hair. The faint white plaid pattern of the shirt and the tailored, light gray pants made Rin wonder if Rei and Sousuke shopped at the same stores.

Rin met Makoto's gaze. "The Koutei team…"

"Ah, they're on the other side." Makoto looked out across the pool.

Rin followed with his eyes. There, he could see men and women in matching navy blue uniforms filing into a section of seats in the front few rows. His hands curled at his sides when he picked out Haru from among them. As usual, Haru was the one looking calm and completely unfazed by the monumental importance of the next seven days. _Tomorrow, Haru._ _We'll finally swim together as serious competitors on the world's stage. I always knew you'd be here with me._

Just before taking a seat, Haru paused along the rail and looked over. Their gazes met. A familiar, electric feeling ran through Rin, eager tension climbing up his spine. _Tomorrow_. He grinned. Haru's expression never changed. Rin's raven-haired rival eventually looked away and sat down.

-x-

Rin ended up sandwiched between the Samezuka and Iwatobi groups when the morning's events began. He was in the front row with Nitori and Momo on his left, Gou, Nagisa, and the others on his right. The stands were far from full—only those dedicated to the sport would come to watch the prelims. A woman's voice came on over the loudspeaker, announcing the start of the program. Uniformed officials walked out, paused for their introductions, and took their positions.

The prelims for the men's four hundred meter individual medley were up first. There were seven heats and Mikoshiba was in the sixth. The sunset-haired man walked out in his preferred swimming attire—still a speedo—and took up his position by the fourth lane.

"Nii-chan!" Momo waved wildly, leaning over the rail while Nitori tried in vain to keep him seated.

"Sei-chan, fight-o!" Nagisa yelled, pumping a fist into the air.

" _Sei_ -chan?" Rin said, frowning.

Beside him, Gou had covered her gaping mouth with both hands.

Rin elbowed her. "Oi, Gou—"

"Those trapezius…deltoids…" She sighed happily.

_Tch._ Rin rolled his eyes.

The whistle sounded—four short bursts, getting the swimmers into position, and then a long whistle had them climbing up onto the starting blocks. The ready signal was given and then the start—

Eight racers dove into the pool, starting the butterfly leg of the medley. Rin sat forward in his seat, watching Mikoshiba's perfect form as he moved through the water. But butterfly wasn't Mikoshiba's fastest stroke. There was a respectful amount of cheering from the audience, which increased slightly as the swimmers neared the end of the second lap and made the turn, switching to backstroke. The announcer read off the name, club, and time of the fastest swimmer for the first leg. It wasn't Mikoshiba, but even as she was talking, the former Samezuka captain was churning up the water, flying past the lead swimmer and hitting the turn first at the end of three laps.

"He's so fast," Makoto said, smiling, but his voice was slightly wistful.

Rin didn't say anything. Makoto was good—damn good. But that wasn't enough, here.

"Nii-chan!" Momo shouted again as the swimmers neared the end of the backstroke leg. Mikoshiba was clearly in the lead now—seconds ahead of the next fastest swimmer.

They hit the two hundred meter mark after four laps, making the turn into breaststroke.

The announcer came on, " _After two hundred meters, the lead is in lane four, Mikoshiba Seijuurou-kun, Koutei University. Two minutes, zero seconds, fifty-nine one-hundredths_."

"Sei-chan!"

Mikoshiba kept the lead throughout the breaststroke and then into the seventh and eighth laps for freestyle. The cheering got louder and louder on the final lap, particularly the final spurt— Rin held his breath as Samezuka and Iwatobi members shouted and whistled around him—

Mikoshiba hit the wall at four minutes and eleven seconds—a full second under the Olympic qualifying time set by the JASF. Momo was on his feet, hopping and waving.

" _Momo-kun_." Nitori wrestled him back down. "The next heat's starting."

With a time like that, Mikoshiba had easily made tonight's finals, one race away from a ticket to the Olympics.

"Sei-chan's amazing, isn't he?" Nagisa said.

Rin shook his head. "When did _that_ even start?"

Makoto laughed softly. "It's Nagisa."

"Mikoshiba-kun comes home to visit sometimes," Gou said, slightly frowning. "A lot, actually."

Rin folded his arms. "Probably still hitting on you, too."

His sister chuckled uneasily. "Yeah… That hasn't changed."

"Gou-san. Gou-san!" Momo dove across Rin's lap, capturing Gou's hands, looking up at her with gleaming eyes. "If I make it to the Olympics will you give me a kiss?"

"What? No!"

"What if I give you a stag beetle, too?"

" _Momo_." Rin dumped the kid off his lap and onto the floor. "Keep your hands off my sister."

" _Aww_." The boy curled up on the floor, pouting.

Rin rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'm gonna get a drink. Anyone want anything?"

Nagisa's hand shot up into the air. "Hai! Strawberry juice!"

He sighed. All that sugar…

"I'll tag along if that's alright," Makoto said, getting up.

"Sure." He shrugged.

"Rin-senpai, iced coffee!" Momo said from his feet.

Rin rubbed his face. "Like you need any more caffeine."

"Captain Matsuoka, can I have a cola?" "Iced tea for me, Matsuoka-senpai!" A chorus of overlapping voices rose and a forest of hands waved in the air.

"You guys!" He glared at his former teammates. "I'm here to swim, not babysit the lot of you!"

"…You did offer," Makoto said in a gentle voice.

Rin gave the sandy-haired man a look that had him backing up a step.

"Ahh, Rin-senpai!" Nitori shot to his feet. "I'll help, too!"

"Good grief," he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning for the stairs.

-x-

"When did you get in?" Makoto asked, trailing slightly behind him with Nitori as they headed for the vending machines.

Rin slowed his steps a little, so they could walk abreast. "Last night. I'm staying over at Sousuke's."

"Oh, that's not far." Makoto smiled. "I'm sure you'll be busy training, but if you wanted to, it wouldn't be hard to get everyone together at some point this week. Rei and Gou are staying with me. Nagisa's over at Haru's place—"

Rin narrowed his eyes. " _What_ about my sister?"

Makoto winced, waving his hands defensively. "She has the spare bedroom all to herself, I swear. Seijuurou-kun offered as well—his place is a lot bigger, but I wasn't going to let her— Anyways, it's just for a couple of days…"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "…Sorry. I know she's eighteen and out of high school and all, but." He made a growling sound in his throat. "She's my baby sister. If I could send her away to a girls' college, I would."

Makoto's face relaxed. "Well, you could try, but I don't think it would work. Separating your sister from her precious muscles…"

"I know." Rin frowned down at his shoes. "I tried to talk her out of it, but she's hell bent on that sports medicine program she found. I'm not sure how she grew up to be so stubborn."

Makoto snorted, covering quickly with a cough.

Nitori cleared his throat awkwardly.

Rin shot his kouhai a glare. "You're being awfully quiet, Ai. How's school?"

Nitori's eyes widened, his face lighting up at being addressed. "Classes start on Friday, but I won't go until Monday." His cheeks reddened. "Because…because I couldn't miss watching Senpai swim."

He grinned. "This won't be your only chance. In August, you can watch me on TV. In Rio."

There was a soft scuff of footsteps from an adjacent hallway.

Rin's steps slowed unconsciously; he felt that presence, knew immediately—

"That's confident talk, Rin," Haru said.

Rin stopped and shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket, turning coolly towards that mild voice. "It's not just talk, Haru. I'll show you everything in the water." He grinned, baring his teeth. "You won't believe what you see, this time."

Haru emerged from the shadowed hallway, his hands resting at his sides, his lithe, muscular form clad in Koutei University team warmups—navy blue with one slash of white across the left shoulder. His ocean-blue eyes were cold like Tokyo Bay waters, his mouth and chin defiantly set, everything about him echoing his life's mantra— _I only swim free._

"I hope so. I won't be satisfied by anything less."

Rin narrowed his eyes, taking a step forward. "You're gonna eat those words, Haru. _Everything_ 's different this time. No more cute little games. I've never been more serious."

"Good." Haru held his gaze. "But remember our promise, Rin. If you lose, you don't cry." Those pale hands curled at Haru's sides. "And you don't _quit_."

Rin straightened. " _Tch._ We're not grade-schoolers anymore." He leveled his stare at his friend. "Same goes for you."

The seconds ticked by as they glared at one another, neither willing to be the first to back down and look away.

"Ah, _Senpai…_ " Nitori's voice was soft, nervous.

Makoto sighed. "You two…"

But it wasn't enough to break the electricity charging between them. Rin fingers coiled within his pockets. _This won't be like Regionals or Nationals in high school. We've both been training with this one goal in mind. You're gonna swim all out for me, Haru. This time—_

A deep, boisterous laugh preceded the slap of footsteps on concrete and a navy-clad arm crashed down around Haru's shoulders. "Now, what're the two of you glaring at each other for?" Mikoshiba asked, grinning. He was wearing Koutei warmups, his spikey hair still damp. "We're gonna be on the same team, you know."

Haru said nothing, looking away.

An odd feeling punched Rin in the gut, seeing Mikoshiba all friendly with Haru…and Haru not immediately drawing away. Rin's fists tightened in his pockets. _That's…that's mine._ Being that way with Haru.

"Good race, Mikoshiba," Haru said, shrugging off the arm. "Shouldn't you be preparing for the next event?"

"I have a few minutes," Mikoshiba said, propping his hands on his hips. "I was looking for Gou-kun, but since you're all here—" He produced a small, white envelope from his pocket. "Can you give her this?"

What were they—third graders? Rin snatched the note from Mikoshiba's hand. " _No_. Stop hitting on my sister."

Mikoshiba folded his arms and grinned brightly. "Over-protective big brother. No worries, I get it. But that's a note from my sister to yours, so…"

Rin straightened, embarrassed. He stopped crushing the envelope in his fist. "Oh. …Sorry."

Mikoshiba laughed and waved it off. "As I said. …Well, I'm headed back." He turned to leave. "Nanase. Takara-kun was looking for you."

"A-ah," Haru said. He exhaled and followed Mikoshiba down the hall.

Rin watched them leave. "Takara…kun?" He frowned. Boyish name, but with the captain, it was impossible to tell…

"Sakamoto Takara," Makoto said. "She's swimming in the four hundred meter individual medley this morning. I'm surprised you haven't heard of her. She's fourth seed."

The knot in the pit of his stomach grew. _Because I never pay attention to the women's events._ "She's Koutei?"

"Third year, like Seijuurou-kun."

His free hand curled as he looked back at Makoto. "And they're, like, what? Dating or something?" The words came out sharper than he meant them to.

Makoto drew back, his brow creasing with confusion. "Ah, no. Haru doesn't… Haru doesn't really date. At least, not that he's mentioned." He cleared his throat. "But they swim together, you know? Practice and mixed relays. Stuff like that."

Honestly, it didn't make him feel much better, hearing that. _What the fuck, Matsuoka? You're jealous or something?_ He exhaled roughly, shaking it off. "I guess we'd better get on with it," he muttered, shoving the note in his pocket and walking on.

-x-

As they headed back, arms laden with cans and bottles, Rin noticed that Nitori was being even quieter than before. In fact, he hadn't really said a word since Haru showed up.

Rin hung back, letting Makoto walk ahead of them. "Ai."

The silver-haired boy had been walking with his head tilted forward, eyes on the floor in front of him. At the sound of his name, his head snapped up. "Ah, uh. Hai? Senpai?" He tightened his arms around the bevy of cans he carried.

Rin flicked his gaze over Nitori's face. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you're depressed or something."

Nitori's eyes widened and his face clouded. He looked away, an embarrassed blush darkening his cheeks. "N-nothing. Sorry."

Rin rolled his eyes. " _Tch_ , whatever. You suck at lying, Ai."

Nitori's lips thinned into a line, his gaze falling to the floor again. "…It's. It's just…" His words were quiet, barely above a whisper. "You only fight with people you really like, Senpai."

"Huh?"

Nitori hugged his burden tighter. "Nanase-kun, Yamazaki-kun… You never fight with _me_."

An exasperated sound left Rin's mouth. He couldn't even face palm because he was holding so many things. "Ai. I fight with you all the time. You just don't fight back."

Nitori lifted his face, his eyes wide. "Huh?"

Rin smiled at him. "Come on. Let's go." He turned away, resuming a normal pace.

"Uh, hai!" Nitori hurried to catch up.

-x-

Mikoshiba made it past the prelims in the four hundred meter free, but his time and standing weren't as impressive as in the individual medley. Two other swimmers had individual medley times so close that a swim off was required. The one-on-one race was added at the end of the prelims. To loud cheering, the pair _still_ finished within fractions of a second of each other. Rin couldn't help glancing across the way as the swimmers' new times were announced. How many times had he and Haru finished like that? Haru was looking at him, too. Rin wondered if the dark-haired girl sitting at Haru's side, leaning halfway over the rail and waving at the swimmers below…if that was Sakamoto Takara.

With the morning's program done, athletes and spectators filtered out of the stadium. The semi-finals and finals weren't until this evening.

Nagisa and Momo bounded out first onto damp concrete. The rain had let up and the clouds had lifted a bit, giving a clear view of Tokyo Bay and container ships moving through the port.

"Ahh, I'm so hungry. Rei-chan." Nagisa glanced back, grinning. "Let's find a bakery and buy some _cream pan._ "

Rei sighed heavily. "Nagisa-kun. That kind of sugary confectionary isn't good for you at all."

"It's fine if Gou-chan brought the protein powder."

At Rin's side, Gou shook her head. "That's not how it works, Nagisa-kun." She patted her bag. "But I did bring some."

Makoto laughed uneasily, looking green in the face. "I'm sure all the athletes would prefer we find something a little healthier and well-balanced…"

"Nitori-senpai, look!" Momo ran up to Nitori, his hands cupped over something. "I found a—"

Nitori jumped back, horror on his face. "Momo-kun…"

Rin exhaled, taking in all his friends' familiar antics. He'd be lying if he tried to say he hadn't missed this. His teammates in Australia…they'd only ever be teammates. Not borderline family. You couldn't be choosy with family—you got it all—every last sloppy bit of it. He smiled. There was only one thing missing…

"—Rin."

At the sound of Haru's voice, he stopped, the tips of his shoes just at the top of the broad, concrete stairs leading down onto the street. He glanced back to find Haru standing in the stadium's entryway, alone.

When their eyes met, Haru turned as if to go back inside, pausing there and looking at him aside.

Rin shoved his hands into his pockets. "Makoto, I'll catch up later."

"…Sure."

He headed towards the entrance.

They fell in step with each other, walking deeper into the building. Rin looked at Haru from the corner of his eye. "What?"

Haru exhaled. "Don't look at me like that. This wasn't my idea."

With that cryptic response, Haru fell silent. Rin knew he wouldn't get anything else out of him. Unless he threw Haru up against a wall or something. That usually did the trick. But… _No point overreacting._

They headed down to the warmup pool below, but bypassed the locker room. In the pool, a handful of Koutei University swim club members were practicing, their progress overseen by an adult in the same navy blue team warmups, with a couple assistants alongside. Rin inhaled, recognizing the man easily. Fujino Katsurou—head coach of the future Olympic team.

And Haru was taking him straight over there…

"Ah, Nanase-kun." Coach Fujino left his assistants and came to meet them. The man had the trim build of a former athlete and short black hair with a trace or two of silver. He smiled with a genuine warmth and extended his hand. "Matsuoka-kun."

They shook hands; Rin bowed deeply. "Coach Fujino."

"I've heard a lot about you," Fujino said. "Not only from the members of my team, but also from my associates in Australia. I'm looking forward to watching you swim tomorrow."

Rin bowed again as surprise and elation welled up inside him. "Thank you, Coach Fujino."

"No matter how things go this week, I hope you'll consider Koutei University in your future plans. I'd like the opportunity to work with you."

"Hai." Excitement was building in his chest but Rin managed to maintain his composure. "Respectfully, Coach Fujino, I hope to be working with you a lot sooner than that."

Fujino smiled. "As do I. Good luck tomorrow, Matsuoka-kun."

"Thank you, sir." Rin bowed again, deeply, as did Haru, as the coach headed back to his assistants.

His heart was pounding as he straightened. It was like his dream was landing right in his hands. His eyes flicked skyward briefly. _Dad, I'm really doing this. I'm really—_

Haru was walking away. Rin followed.

As soon as they were back in the hallway and alone, he couldn't hold it together any longer. Rin tackled his friend, capturing Haru around the shoulders in a half-headlock, half-embrace. "Haru, I could kiss you."

Those water-blue eyes flicked his way mildly. "Not here, OK?"

Rin laughed softly. He didn't let go. "Haru, this is my dream. I almost can't believe this is all happening. Tomorrow…"

"I know, Rin." That gaze softened infinitesimally towards him. "Tomorrow we get to swim together again."

_Damnit_. Emotion lodged in his throat. Rin pulled away, feeling his face heat. "Why'd you have to go and say shit like that?"

Haru shrugged, his face as expressionless as ever. "I just said what I was thinking."

Rin snorted. Typical Haru. He rubbed the back of his head, looking away. "So? You stuck here with your team or do you wanna come grab lunch with Makoto and the others?" Before Haru could answer, Rin's phone buzzed in his pocket. "Ah, sorry." He dug it out, glancing at the caller before he answered. "Sousuke."

" _I'm almost there. Have you eaten yet?"_

"Not yet. I was just trying to figure that out with Haru…"

" _Oh, so I should leave the two of you alone?"_

Rin frowned. "No, why would you say that?"

" _Nothing. Meet you out front?"_

"Yeah." He hung up, slipping the phone back into his pocket. "Sorry, Haru. So—"

But Haru's face had shuttered, hiding even the small bit of emotion he'd revealed before. "I have to stay here." He turned and walked away before Rin could protest.

-x-

The final for the men's four hundred meter individual medley was at 7:30pm that night. Unlike the prelims, which were all business and sparsely attended, the finals brought in fanfare—lights and music, packed stands, cameras everywhere. The events were broadcast on live TV, with sportscasters in an elevated booth overlooking the pool and press down on the floor with the athletes.

The swimmers were named one at a time, by lane, pausing to bow beneath an archway of shifting, neon lights, before walking out to loud cheering. They traversed the length of the pool before arriving at their lanes and stripping off their warmups. _We'll be down there on Wednesday, Haru._ Rin glanced across the stadium. Haru was the notably stoic one amidst an excited crowd of Koutei University students and supporters.

Mikoshiba was top seed in lane four. He was smiling, looking every bit as confident as he had in that morning's race. At the whistle, Mikoshiba climbed onto the starting block to loud cheering from the stands. The stadium fell pin-drop quiet for the ready signal and the start—

—The former Samezuka captain finished in first place for a raucous crowd, well ahead of the competition and with another whole second shaved off his best time. Rin exhaled, jealous. With a time well beating the JASF Olympic standard, Mikoshiba was officially bound for Rio. The second-place swimmer didn't qualify.

Momo nearly leapt over the rail, yelling and whooping. Both Rin and Sousuke had to hold him back.

Gou was fanning herself with her program, looking faint. "Olympic-grade muscles…"

Down below, Mikoshiba was escorted to a wall covered with sponsors' logos, where he answered a few questions in front of the camera for the press while stagehands quickly assembled the podium for the medal ceremony. The top three finishers, once more with their warmups thrown on, received their medals and bouquets. After a few quick pictures, they cleared the stadium for the next event.

Mikoshiba disappeared from view only to be reannounced almost directly after, for the men's four hundred meter freestyle final. He swam it on-par with his prelim time, but finished middle of the pack and slower than the qualifying time. In fact, all swimmers fell short of the JASF qualifier. Japan would not be competing in the four hundred meter free in Rio.

This was followed by the final for the women's four hundred meter individual medley.

"Sakamoto-san's in lane three," Makoto said.

"Ah." Rin followed his gaze as the swimmer in navy-blue kneeskins walked the length of the pool to loud cheers from the Koutei University crowd. Then he glanced at the start list. None of the women's prelim times were qualifying—all were over by a couple of seconds.

But that was when the race started. When it ended, Japan had two qualifying women for the four hundred meter individual medley in Rio: Nakagawa Mai (first) and Sakamoto Takara (second). It also meant that two of the three qualifying athletes thus far were Coach Fujino's Koutei University students.

The night ended with another disappointment in the women's four hundred meter free—no qualifying times. It was nearly 9pm when everyone filed out of the stadium to the buses and train stations. It was raining lightly again.

Rin tugged on his cap, trailing behind Makoto and the others, watching as Haru boarded the Koutei bus with Mikoshiba and Takara.

An umbrella tipped over his head from behind. "What's that look, Rin?" Sousuke asked.

Rin nearly jumped. He scowled. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

The larger man shrugged innocently in the shadow of the red umbrella. "So?"

Rin exhaled. "I don't know what you're talking about." He turned, heading in the direction of the train station.

"OK, sure. I can guess." Sousuke made a soft sound of amusement as they walked together. "Either you're jealous because you wish you were on the Koutei team… Or you're jealous that Mikoshiba and the others get to spend so much time with Nanase."

"Huh?" Rin glared sharply at his friend. "Don't make up weird shit like that."

Sousuke merely shrugged, smiling faintly.

He turned away, frowning. Because it wasn't _that_. It couldn't be that…


	2. 200 meter rush / free fall

Tuesday, April 5th, 2016

* * *

Rin was up even earlier the next morning, riding the Tokyo trains through another morning of light rain and low clouds. The weather didn't bother him and the commute flashed by, music blaring from the earbuds he wore, but he wasn't really paying attention to it. Because Haru was waiting. They'd both spent the last year training seriously. No more silly, high school antics or casual competitions. _It's finally time to show each other what we can really do. You'd better be ready, Haru._

He arrived at the stadium and stashed his stuff in the locker room. Both Haru and Mikoshiba were competing with him in the first event of the day—the men's 200m free. With seven heats, though, their times scattered them. Rin was in the sixth heat, Haru in the seventh, Mikoshiba in the third.

A year's worth of anticipation was building inside him as he headed for the warmup pool; by the time he got there, he was charged up, eager. Warm, chlorinated air hit him in the face when he pushed through the doors. There were nearly a dozen swimmers in the pool, but he only really saw Haru. Rin grinned, stripping down to his black and red leg skins as he watched Haru glide lazily through the water in navy blue Koutei jammers, relaxed and oblivious. The lane to Haru's right was vacant. Rin climbed onto the starting block and donned his cap, pressing his goggles into place and snapping the strap behind his head. Haru was halfway down the pool when Rin dove in, sliding into the cool water—

He caught up easily, without even trying, and surged past. Immediately, Haru quickened his pace, as always happened whenever they swam together. It was like they could sense each other's presence, as if the two of them were made to swim together in these synergistic rhythms—hands piercing the surface, muscles flexing with each pull and draw of breath, urging and pushing each other on towards the goal—

They were swimming hard before Rin consciously realized it, turn after turn, reaching the end of their fourth lap and hitting the wall in unison, both popping to the surface and breathing rapidly. He was grinning, reveling in the thrill coursing through his veins. _Nothing_ felt like swimming with Haru.

A shower of droplets crashed over their heads from the lane on Rin's left. "Save it for the _upstairs_ pool, you two," Mikoshiba said, frowning behind yellow-tinted goggles.

Rin flicked his eyes skyward as he draped himself over the lane rope towards Haru, his back towards Mikoshiba. "Hai, Captain," he said, between breaths.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, Matsuoka."

How did he know? Rin laughed, still breathing hard.

Haru pulled off his cap and goggles and shook the droplets from his head, one hand hanging onto the side of the pool as he caught his breath. He didn't say anything or smile, but by the spark in his eyes and the faint glow of exertion in his cheeks, Rin knew Haru had enjoyed it too.

A few musical notes over the loudspeaker preceded the first announcement: " _Men's two hundred meter freestyle, heat one, please report to the clerk of course. Men's two hundred meter freestyle, heat one_ …"

Rin slipped off the lane rope and started down the pool again, at a leisurely pace this time. Just enough to stay warm. When he reached the far end of the pool and made the turn, movement caught his eye—three men in Koutei navy blue walking away. It was then he realized Coach Fujino had been watching the two of them.

-x-

Rin studied the standings on the board as he waited for his heat to be called. Mikoshiba's time in the third heat had been decent, but it might not be enough to move on to the semi-finals.

After the fifth heat cleared the pool, Rin walked out in his leg skins, in line with his competitors, stopping beside the starting block for lane four. He smoothed his cap and snapped the strap of his goggles as shouts from the stands fell on his ears.

"Onii-chan!" "Rin-senpai!" "Rin- _chan_!" "Captain Matsuoka!" "Matsuoka-senpai!"

 _You guys._ He grinned. At the sound of the four-pulse whistle, he mounted the starting block and lowered himself into position. At the ready signal, he tensed. At the start signal, he flew—

Rin pierced the placid surface of the water and surged forward. He came up in the lead, but knew exactly how much to conserve to get through all four laps. Samezuka's and Iwatobi's cheering followed him down the lane and into the turn. In that moment, nothing mattered more than meeting Haru in the finals. Time was important—damn important—but it would fall out with the rest. There was no half-assing this just because it was the prelim. He couldn't face Haru in the final if he didn't give this his all.

At the end of one hundred meters, the announcer was saying _his_ name, but he only heard snatches of the words and his time. He powered through the third turn, kicking it up and tearing through the last fifty meters as the cheering grew louder. His lungs burned, every muscle was screaming, but he pushed through, charging the final fifteen meters to the finish—

Rin hit the wall in first place, knowing he'd just delivered a personal best as far as timing went. He tore off his cap and goggles, looking up at the board. _Fuck._ Two seconds. By the final, he needed to shave off two whole seconds. It wasn't going to be easy, but swimming with Haru…he could do it.

He climbed out of the pool, following the others back to the waiting area as the seventh heat was announced.

Haru was in line, headed out in his navy blue jammers and swim cap, goggles resting atop his forehead. He was also swimming in lane four.

"Haru." They slapped hands in passing; locked eyes. _Your turn_.

"Rin." Haru's face was ever cool and unruffled. He lowered his goggles into place.

Rin stayed in the waiting area, watching the live feed on the screen, listening to the cheers.

"Haru!" "Haruka-senpai!" "Nanase-kun!" "Haru- _chan_!"

Somehow, Nagisa was always the loudest.

He heard the shrill four-beat of the whistle; Haru mounted the starting block. His lithe frame went taut at the ready signal… At the start, he sprung forward in a flawless arc that stole Rin's breath. Haru's swimming had always been beautiful, but somehow in the last year the hard edges had been softened, toned. What remained was smooth, sleek, slicing into the water like a blade… Haru submerged, surfaced, and shot forward with a speed that made Rin's hands curl at his sides. But watching it was different than feeling it, being beside Haru in the water, sharing the pool—those breathless, heart pounding seconds of time flying past— _The final_. _We'll do this in the final._ His pulse quickened just thinking about it.

After the first hundred meters, they were calling Haru's time at fifty-two seconds and change. Rin stepped closer to the monitor after the last turn, hearing the roar of the crowd go louder and louder as Haru bent the water to his will, flying across the last fifteen meters with a commanding lead on the other swimmers—

Rin watched the clock, sucking in a breath as Haru hit the wall and his official time flashed up— One second over. Just one second. _Holy shit, we can do this. Haru, we can do this—_ Out of fifty-two swimmers, they'd claimed the first and second places. Semi-finals were tonight; finals tomorrow…

The swimmers filtered out as the officials prepped for the women's 200m free, up next. Rin waited, a giddiness welling in his chest, threatening to spill over. _This must be what Momo feels like all the time._

Haru came back with the others, breathing hard, his cap and goggles clutched in one hand. He didn't get far; his water-blue eyes widening slightly just before Rin engulfed him in a hug.

"Haru." Rin's eyes were burning as he embraced his friend. _Damnit, I told Nitori swim captains don't cry._ But he couldn't help it.

Haru was still catching his breath, leaning against him a little. Rin didn't give a fuck what anyone else thought, watching them. He'd kiss Haru if it wouldn't be weird.

When Haru touched his shoulder, Rin inhaled thickly and drew back. He didn't expect Haru to hug him in return—even a small touch like that. He had to pull away or he was going to _lose it_.

Those ocean-blue eyes were intent upon him, heated and alive. There was enough emotion in Haru's gaze to make up for the fact that the rest of his face was his normal, quiet calm—as if they'd just gone for an everyday run and not swam their hearts out for a chance at an Olympic berth.

"Rin." Haru's eyes warmed further. He held up his hand. "One, two."

 _Fuck_. The tears came and Rin couldn't stop them, grasping those fingers tightly in his own as he battled like hell to keep his composure.

-x-

The morning progressed with the women's 200m free and 100m breaststroke.

Rin joined the Samezuka and Iwatobi crowd in the stands after he'd showered and once more donned his black and red warmups. Haru was on the other side of the stadium with the rest of the Koutei team.

The last event of the morning was Momo's first race—the 100m backstroke. He was in the fourth heat (of five) in the sixth lane. Unlike the rest of the swimmers who walked out and moved around a little to keep warmed up, Momo _bounded_ out in his black and gray Samezuka speedo, jumping up and down and wiggling like an excited puppy.

"Ai." Rin glanced at the silver-haired boy beside him. "Did you give him coffee this morning?"

Nitori flinched, his hands nervously gripping the zipper tab on the front of his Samezuka jacket. "I didn't, but it was free in the hotel lobby, so…"

Momo spotted them in the stands and waved vigorously. "Gou-san!"

Rin dropped his head into his hand. " _Momo!_ "

A sharp, " _Momotarou!"_ came from across the stadium.

"Can they disqualify him for being obnoxious?" Gou asked, blushing pink and hiding her face behind her program.

"Maybe?" Makoto said. "It's not a meet…"

"Momo-chan, _fight-o_!" Nagisa yelled.

At the long whistle, the swimmers jumped into the pool and climbed into position on the starting holds. At the ready call, Momo pulled himself up, settling still long enough for a legal start. At the buzzer, he launched backwards and submerged. When he surfaced, he was already in the lead, arms rotating in rapid half-moons, slapping the water, propelling himself down the lane. It was a quick fifty meters. Momo curled into the turn and flew back the other way. Samezuka's rhythmic cheering grew louder and louder as Momo neared the finish. The damn otter boy was still gaining speed when he touched the wall.

Gou gasped beside him. "Fifty-three seconds? That's _under_."

It was. What an annoying little shit. Rin smiled.

Down in the pool, Momo was hanging off the lane rope and waving his cap and goggles in the air. "Nii-chan!"

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba was out of his seat on the Koutei side, hands propped on his navy-clad hips, one sandaled foot planted on the rail—beaming like the proud big brother he was.

Gou giggled.

Rin eyed her suspiciously.

She looked up at him between wine-colored shards of bangs. "Even you have to admit they're cute together—the two of them."

He sighed. _Cute_ was not in his vocabulary.

After the fifth heat, Momo was still on top. That concluded the morning program; semi-finals for all the day's events would be held that evening, along with the finals for the women's 100m butterfly and men's 100m breaststroke.

When they headed out for lunch, Haru and Mikoshiba joined them. It was cloudy again, but at least the rain had let up.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba's voice boomed, echoing off the wet concrete.

Laughing, Momo bounced back up the stairs to his brother and stood there, grinning and sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. The yellow shirt he wore with his warmups and his bright orange flip-flops were blinding against the gray of the day.

Mikoshiba grabbed the boy in a headlock, grinding his knuckles into the top of Momo's head. "Who was the one who said he didn't want to join to swim team? Huh? _Huh_?"

Squirming, Momo made a face—it was difficult to tell if he was laughing or crying. "Me. It was me, Nii-chan—"

Rei was rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he watched the exchange, his red glasses clashing with his salmon-colored polo shirt in Rin's opinion. "He really does remind me of an overstimulated juvenile canine."

"Both of them, kind of," Gou said. She had one hand curled against the side of her jaw as she watched, the knit cuff of her blue and white sweatshirt covering her knuckles.

Talking was her mistake. As soon as they heard her voice, both brothers' attention snapped to her.

"Gou-san!" "Gou-kun!"

"Wanna eat lunch together?" they asked in unison.

Rin folded his arms and moved to stand in front of his sister.

Momo pouted.

Mikoshiba just laughed, undeterred. "Persistence is going to pay off, one of these days." Dragging Momo in the headlock, Mikoshiba joined the Samezuka crew, waving with his free hand. "Alright, everyone, let's go eat!"

Haru joined Rin quietly, his hands in the pockets of his navy blue warmup jacket. His eyes flicked to the Mikoshiba brothers and back. "You're not like that with Gou," he said.

"Ehh." Rin raked one hand through his hair. Wrestling with Gou didn't work for a lot of reasons. A, she was his sister. B, she was a girl. C, she'd just spend the whole time feeling up his muscles…

"Rin-chan's only like that with Haru-chan," Nagisa said, bounding down the stairs, his faded athletic jacket flapping behind him.

"Nagisa." Rin fixed a murderous glare on the blond, eighteen-year-old.

Nagisa paused and looked back, tapping his index finger against his jaw. "What about the time you threw him to the ground, at Regionals?"

Rin frowned. "That's different." His face heated.

"Or the time you threw him against the fence, outside the swimsuit store?" Gou said.

"How do you even _know_ about that?"

Gou clapped a hand over her mouth and blushed.

Rei adjusted his glasses. "It does seem that Rin-chan-san has a particular affinity for roughhousing with Haruka-senpai."

Rin folded his arms. "Do not use - _chan_ and - _san_ with my name."

Makoto laughed lightly, shrugging on a jacket over his T-shirt and jeans. "It's pretty common between siblings. Haru and Rin are almost like brothers, after all."

Leave it to Makoto to try to come to the rescue. That wasn't it, though. Rin shoved his hands in his pockets. _We're not anything like…brothers._ The descriptor felt wrong, somehow.

Haru, oh so helpfully, had not said a word since starting the whole conversation. But now Haru was looking at him intently. "Are we going to eat or not?"

Rin sighed. "What do you want?"

He watched Haru's mouth form the familiar syllables. " _Saba_." They said in unison.

Rin flicked his eyes skyward. "Why do I even ask?"

"Why do you? It's a waste of words if you know."

" _Tch. This_ is a waste of words, Haru."

Haru's face shuttered, his gaze hardening into a glare. Then he was walking, making his way down the stairs, leaving Rin behind.

Rin exhaled roughly. " _Haru_." He caught up by jogging a few steps, falling in at Haru's side. "I didn't mean it like _that_."

Haru glanced at him aside for a few moments as they walked, as if discerning if he was truly penitent or not. Then his face eased. "There's a good place up here. They have _saba_ with _miso_."

Rin relaxed. "Is it better than the one you make?"

Haru looked away thoughtfully. "No."

-x-

The men's 200m free semi-finals were at 6:45pm and the men's 100m backstroke semi-finals were at 7:45pm. Haru and Rin's 'one and two' standings put them in separate heats, Rin in the first heat and Haru in the second. Rin managed to shave a little more than half a second off his time; Haru did the same. In the backstroke, Momo improved his time, driving a bit further under the Olympic qualifying time. The finals for both events weren't until tomorrow. The evening ended with Japan claiming one Olympic berth in the women's 100m butterfly, but none in the men's 100m breaststroke.

Outside the stadium, the night was overcast, but dry.

"You were killing it out there tonight," Sousuke said as they headed for the train station with the others, carrying a jacket and an unused umbrella. He'd arrived in time to watch.

Rin sighed, adjusting the strap of his gear bag and then shoving his hands into his pockets. "A second and a half, Sousuke." He frowned. "It's a lot. Haru's a lot closer."

Sousuke shrugged. "You'll do it. You're not going to let Nanase stand in the way of your dream."

 _It's not like that_. But Sousuke wouldn't understand. "No," he said. "I'm not."

* * *

Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

* * *

The prelims Wednesday morning on the first clear, sunny day were the women's 100m backstroke, 200m butterfly, and 200m individual medley. Rin watched a few, but mostly hung out in the warmup pool with Haru, Momo, and Mikoshiba. Finals weren't until the evening.

While Haru swam in slow, leisurely laps, Rin sat by the side of the pool, resting his chin in his hand, a towel atop his head as he watched Mikoshiba coach Momo on the far side of the pool. He was a little tired. It'd taken awhile to fall asleep last night and he'd been up first thing this morning, despite the fact that he could've slept in without prelims to attend. Rin couldn't remember the last time he'd had trouble sleeping before a race. _Not since grade school, probably._

Momo, on the other hand, was a vibrating ball of energy, as usual. He was swimming lap after lap, while Mikoshiba yelled at him to correct this or that.

Haru finished a lap, surfacing near Rin—catching him mid-yawn. "Tired?"

"A little." Rin shrugged. "I couldn't sleep last night for some reason."

Haru hoisted himself from the pool and sat down beside him, pulling off his swim cap and letting his goggles hang around his neck. He shook his head to cast the water from his hair, showering Rin's left side with droplets in the process. "You wanna get tea or something?"

"Nah, I'll manage." He didn't want to get dehydrated from the caffeine.

Haru was silent for a few moments after that. Then he turned his head away and spoke quietly. "I'm glad you're back, Rin."

Rin inhaled. "Haru…" A bit of warmth spread through his chest—

"Rin-senpai! Nanase-senpai!" Momo's voice shattered the moment. The kid was out of the pool, arched over on his back, walking towards them upside-down on his hands and feet. "Let's swim a relay!" He still had his goggles and cap on.

Rin lifted a brow, pulling off the towel and raking a hand through his damp hair. "Now?"

Mikoshiba joined them, wearing his navy blue warmup jacket unzipped over his speedo. "Momotarou, that's an excellent idea." The former captain perched his hands on his hips. "Matsuoka, Nanase, you in?"

Haru exhaled. "I only swim free."

Rin grinned. "Freestyle then?"

"Awww." Momo pouted, dropping onto his back at the edge of the pool. "I wanna swim medley."

"That's because you suck at _free_ ," Rin said.

"And all the others," Mikoshiba said, laughing. "Fine, I'll swim breaststroke. It's my worst stroke, but." He shrugged.

Rin rolled his eyes. Mikoshiba's worst was better than most people's best. He flicked his gaze to his raven-haired friend. "Haru?"

"Sure." Haru got up, slipping his cap back on.

"Yay! Relay!" Momo rolled into the pool, hauled himself up to the starting holds and just _went_.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba shucked off his jacket and climbed onto the starting block, fitting cap and goggles in place. "What was I _just_ telling you?"

Momo's voice was muffled by laughter and water. "Can't…hear…Nii-chan…"

Rin chuckled as he got up and went to stand behind the blocks, slipping on his cap and goggles. He snapped the strap into place. When Haru fell in with him, everything felt right in the world.

"He reminds me of Nagisa sometimes," Haru said quietly.

"Only worse," Rin said.

When Momo hit the wall, Mikoshiba dove in and came up swimming breaststroke. Momo slipped out of the pool, whipping off his cap and goggles and dancing around, not even breathing hard. "Nii-chan!"

No more coffee for that kid. Rin climbed onto the starting block. He drew a breath, closing his eyes briefly, shutting out everything except for the swimmer in the lane ahead of him and Haru behind him. When he exhaled, he was ready. Rin bent forward, lowering himself into position, tensing as Mikoshiba drew near the wall— When those hands touched, he sprung forward, slicing into the cool water, submerging and then surfacing with powerful butterfly strokes, his arms completing each swift rotation, the movement flowing fluidly through the rest of his frame.

He made the turn, heading back the other way…and saw Haru waiting for him on the starting block. It was dreamlike but so much better, his heart racing from more than just exertion. Haru was _here_ —not one of his Australian teammates or someone from Samezuka. Warm nostalgia tugged at him, reminding him of the first relay they'd swam together, back at Iwatobi Swim Club.

Rin kicked it up for the last few meters, hitting the wall and Haru was diving over his head, a lithe, perfect arc. Rin's fingers curled as he clung to the side of the pool. He got out and pulled off his cap and goggles, resting a hand on his hip as he caught his breath.

They were only messing around—no one had started a timer. But Haru's strokes were still focused and rapid. He entered the turn smoothly and came back, gaining speed as he charged through the last few meters, gliding into the wall and making it all look effortless.

 _Showoff_. Rin grinned.

Haru climbed out, stripping off cap and goggles, shaking the water from his head.

Watching him, Rin was no longer tired.

-x-

That evening began with the semi-finals of three women's events. Rin didn't watch but remained down below, staying limber, poolside, with Haru. They didn't talk much, contrary to their banter on Monday morning. This wasn't about competition, about beating each other or proving who was the best. This was about doing everything they could to urge each other on, to achieve their dreams. So words weren't necessary. Having Haru there was more than enough for Rin.

The music came on over the loudspeaker, followed by a woman's voice: " _Men's two hundred meter freestyle, final, please report to the clerk of course. Men's two hundred meter freestyle, final…_ "

They got up, grabbed their things, and headed upstairs.

"One minute forty-six, ten, Haru," Rin said, zipping up his warmup jacket as they walked together into the waiting area. That was the only number that meant anything, tonight.

"Yeah." Haru slipped on his swim cap and goggles.

They got in line. Haru, as first seed, was in lane four. Rin would be on Haru's left in lane five. He pulled on his swim cap and lowered his goggles into place.

The music started and the men filed out one-by-one as their names were called, each announcement followed by cheering.

" _Lane four, Nanase Haruka, Koutei University_."

Even above the loud music, Rin could hear the shouts that followed Haru. "Haru-chan!" "Haruka-senpai!" "Nanase-kun!" On the video screen, he could see Haru walking calmly, not waving or acknowledging the crowd at all.

 _Tch._ Typical Haru. Rin moved into position in the glowing archway.

" _Lane five, Matsuoka Rin, Sydney East_."

Rin completed the required bow and walked out.

"Rin-senpai!" "Rin-chan!" "Captain Matsuoka!" "Matsuoka-senpai!" "Onii-chan!"

He couldn't help smiling, but he didn't wave, not about to make a spectacle of himself as the _foreign_ -trained athlete. Rin took his position by lane five, shucking off his warmups into the bin, getting ready as the last three swimmers were announced.

The jitter of nerves Rin felt was justified, he figured. This was only the most important thing he'd ever done; his first chance at an Olympic berth. Beside him, Haru was still as cool as a cucumber, as usual. _That guy_.

Rin drew a breath and centered himself. At the four-count whistle, he climbed onto the starting block, snapping the strap of his goggles, and bent into position. He was keenly aware of Haru on his right, in the identical stance, poised and ready—

A hush fell over the stadium. The ready signal was given. Rin tensed, stilled— At the buzzer he leapt forward, slicing through the air and piercing the surface of the water in time with Haru on his right.

Haru gained ground underwater, surfacing first— Rin was right behind him. The first fifty meters were gone in a flash, the rest of the swimmers trailing further and further behind with each stroke. By the time they hit the wall, Rin had caught up. Coming out of the turn, he was ahead. He powered through the second lap, feeling Haru maybe a half a stroke behind him. The stadium was loud with cheering as they approached the half.

Haru was gaining on him again. They entered the second turn at virtually the same time. The announcer's voice was garbled by the churning water; he didn't hear whose name was called, but he heard the time. Almost fifty-two seconds. _Fuck._ That was cutting it too close.

Rin increased his speed, ignoring the protest in his body as his muscles and lungs started to burn. He stayed ahead of Haru into the third and final turn…surfacing out of the turn, that was when Rin felt Haru go all-out. Haru closed the gap between them, drawing them even—

Rin felt it in that space of a second—the synergy of their bodies flying in formation. Then Haru pulled ahead, inviting him to follow— Rin threw his all into it, keeping pace, battling for the lead, battling the clock— The roar from the crowds was deafening as they slapped hands forward into the wall, Haru hitting just fractions of a second ahead of him.

Rin popped up, stripping off his cap and goggles with one hand, straining for a clear view of the board. They'd been close—so close. They were either under or over, under or over—

He went cold, staring at the numbers, the large white numerals on the digital board. 1:46.06…1:46.14. Haru was under, he was over. By four fucking hundredths of a second, he was over. He went numb with disbelief.

Haru had an Olympic berth…he didn't.

Rin's lungs were burning, every muscle in his body screaming from the exertion. One adjustment. One tiny fucking adjustment and he would've made it, too. But like this… In the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't over. He had four more events over the next several days. But his heart refused to cooperate, shattering in his chest.

Rin slumped against the lane rope, in shock, the blood rushing loudly through his ears. _I didn't…_ Four hundredths. _Hundredths_ —

"—Rin." Haru gripped his arm, fingers coiled tightly around his left bicep.

Rin blinked, snapped back to the present by the way Haru's fingertips were digging into his skin. Haru didn't really…do that. He raised his head, lifting his gaze from the water to Haru's shoulders, to the tinted goggles slung around Haru's neck, then—

Haru's face was as calm and emotionless as always, but those ocean-blue eyes were _shouting_ at him, swimming with turmoil and fear— _Rin, pull it together. Keep your side of our promise. Because if you don't…I can't do this._

He didn't need Haru to actually speak the words. It was all laid bare in that water-colored gaze. Rin drew one deep, shuddering breath and then another. _Haru…_ Since when had their dreams become so indelibly, inseparably wrapped up in each other? _…Nah, who am I kidding?_ Probably from the moment they'd swam that first relay together. _Ever since then, I could never complete my dream without you. And you…_

"…Haru." He worked to even out his voice, but the smile, when it came, was genuine. Rin drew himself up against the rope. "Don't let this go to your head. Because I'm gonna crush you tomorrow in the hundred."

Haru's eyes widened slightly…then softened with relief, gleaming liquid-like under the bright stadium lighting. Water rolled from his swim cap, down his face. "Rin…" The grip on Rin's arm loosened—

That hand suddenly pulled him close, wrapping him in an awkward, one-armed embrace over the lane rope. Rin's eyes flared full wide. Haru never hugged him back, much less grabbing him in the first place— _Damnit, Haru._ He relaxed into the moment, slinging his free arm around Haru's shoulders. "Haru, you did it."

" _Rin_."

For a few seconds it was perfect and just the two of them, then Mikoshiba's captain voice yanked them back to reality. "Nanase, Matsuoka—we're on a schedule here!"

They jerked apart. Rin muttered an expletive under his breath. Leave it to Haru to make him forget everything, especially the fact that they were still in the pool, in front of the cameras, on live TV…

Haru blithely proceeded to the side of the pool and climbed out.

 _Easy for you to do. All you did was hug me. I'm the one who nearly had a breakdown in front of a whole nation._ Rin slipped underwater, swimming beneath the lane ropes to the side, grateful that the cool water somewhat eased the burning in his face.

Rin followed Haru behind the starting blocks, but hung back as his friend was whisked over in front of the sponsorship wall, where the press and camera waited.

"Nanase-kun. Congratulations on your first place finish and first Olympic berth. How are you feeling right now?" The male reporter pushed the microphone towards Haru.

Haru glanced at the microphone, almost frowning. "It was a good race," he said.

 _Oh, Haru._ Rin fought the urge to face palm.

"I'm glad I had the opportunity to swim today."

The reporter pulled the microphone back, a polite if pained smile on his face. "Can you tell us what it means to you, getting to represent Japan in the upcoming games in Rio?"

Haru paused.

' _I only swim free,'_ Rin read on that face. _Don't say it, Haru._

Haru lifted his eyes, looking back at the reporter and camera. "It's my dream. It wasn't always, but a friend of mine helped me find it. So I'm…happy."

Rin sucked in a breath, his hold tightening on the goggles and swim cap he clutched in his left hand. _Haru_ …

"Well, obviously an overwhelming and significant time for you. Congratulations again, and good luck."

Haru dipped his head. "Thank you." He stepped down from the sponsors' wall as others directed him.

"Matsuoka-kun, you're next." A female assistant in a red event T-shirt and wireless headset stopped next to Rin and waved him forward.

Rin blinked. "I thought only…"

The assistant smiled and waved again. "Please—"

Exhaling, Rin straightened and headed over, anticipating the first question as he stepped up in front of the backdrop. _Matsuoka-kun, how does it feel to know you missed Rio by a sliver of a second?_

The reporter was smiling; the red light of the camera blinked in Rin's face.

"Matsuoka-kun, you shaved off an impressive two whole seconds from your time since the prelims. Have you been holding out on us?" The reporter extended the mic.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat, smiling. "No… No. I gave it my all out there, but came up short. It's disappointing, obviously, but I'm eager to get back in the water tomorrow."

The reporter nodded, drawing the microphone back. "You've spent most of the last decade training abroad. How does it feel to be back in Japan, trying out for the national team?"

He grinned, propping a hand on his hip. "It couldn't feel better. This has been my dream since I was a little kid. I'm finally getting the chance to see it come true. It's been a lot of hard work, but it's all been worth it."

"You and Nanase-kun are childhood rivals. Now that you're swimming together again, is it cutthroat out there or has that settled down?"

Rin laughed. "Haru and I never stop competing. But right now, what's important is pushing each other towards our goals and making sure Japan has a stellar team headed to Rio. So that's what we're focused on."

The reporter nodded, smiling at him. "Thank you, Matsuoka-kun. Best of luck tomorrow—we'll be eagerly watching you in the one hundred meter free and two hundred meter butterfly."

Rin nodded. "Thanks."

He headed back to the starting blocks and started pulling on his warmups. Haru, already dressed, was looking at him, those water-blue eyes vaguely miffed.

Rin arched a brow. "What?"

Haru looked away. "You're better at that than me," he muttered.

Rin snorted. "That's because you don't smile. Throw on a cheesy grin and it won't matter what you say."

Haru's lips pursed faintly. "I only swim free."

He laughed. _Just had to say it, didn't you?_

Within moments, they were ushered to the podium, presented with their medals and bouquets, and made to pose for pictures.

-x-

They watched the next final from the waiting area, as Rin tried to summon the nerve to go up to the stands. Sousuke was going to let him have it, probably.

No one qualified in the women's 200m free. Only Haru would be swimming the event for Japan in Rio, unless the Japanese Olympic Committee changed their minds. Several athletes offered their congratulations to Haru as they filtered in and out. Haru just nodded, his face expressionless…almost sullen. As soon as they'd left the cameras behind, he'd kind of closed in on himself. Rin didn't know why.

He nudged Haru in the side with an elbow. "Come on, look a little happier about it."

Haru's mouth flattened. He turned and headed for the locker room.

Rin followed. "What?"

"…Nothing."

_Damnit, I could read you so well just a bit ago._

They dumped their stuff inside, stripping down to their swimsuits again.

Rin trailed Haru into the communal shower area, where Haru pulled off his swim cap and stood under the spray.

" _Haru_. _I'm_ the one who—"

"—The backstroke final's up next. You want to watch, don't you?" He stepped out and grabbed a towel.

Rin sighed. He ducked under the warm spray long enough to rinse off, then toweled off and got dressed.

-x-

With his hands thrust into the pockets of his black and red warmups, Rin climbed the steps into the stands, just as they were flashing up the times from the women's 100m breaststroke final. Three women had qualifying times, but only the top two would go.

"R-Rin-senpai!"

Of course Nitori would be the first to notice him. Rin shot the silver-haired boy a warning look. _I don't want any of your fucking sympathy, Ai._

Nitori's face shuttered. "Good…good race, Senpai."

"Yeah, you fucked that one up," Sousuke said, but he was smiling, reclining in the seat next to Nitori where Momo usually sat, with the sleeves of his button-down shirt rolled up, his hands resting in the pockets of his trousers.

"Dick," Rin muttered. But a weight lifted from his shoulders as he dropped into his seat. He dumped his bag on the floor near his feet; his bouquet and medal inside.

Makoto was on his right. "Good race, Rin." He smiled. "Haru's probably upset, huh?"

Rin cocked a brow, looking at him.

"That you won't be swimming the event together in Rio."

Was that it? Rin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "He can be upset about it when we're _both_ going." _For now he needs to fucking suck it up._

Makoto made a soft sound of agreement.

After another blare of loud music, the announcer came on over the speakers. " _Next up, program thirty-two. Men's one hundred meter backstroke, final_."

Rin looked past Makoto to Nagisa and Rei. "Where's Gou?"

"Oh, she stepped out for a second, with—"

"Momo-chan-san's in lane four for this race," Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "From a fluid dynamics perspective, the center of the pool has the least interference due to the motion of the other swimmers, so the position carries a distinct advantage. Of course, the fifth lane is just as preferable in a ten-lane pool."

" _Seriously_ , what is it with you and the fucking - _chan_ , - _san_ business?"

"— _Rin!_ " A familiar woman's voice fell sharply on his ears.

Rin choked on his own saliva, shooting to his feet and turning. "—Mom!?"

Gou was just coming up the steps, clad in a mini-skirt, leggings, and a layered top, looking pained for his sake. At her side was their mother. Matsuoka Miyako was wearing a cream-colored blouse and cardigan, over navy blue trousers and heeled sandals. Her soft fall of plum-colored hair was tucked behind one ear. There was a stern look on her face—she'd obviously heard him drop that f-bomb.

Rin cleared his throat. "Sorry."

Nagisa snickered and whispered, sing-song-like, behind his hand: "Rin-chan got in trouble."

"Nagisa—" Makoto leaned over and shushed him.

Gou led their mother down to the front row. Everyone slid aside, making room for the Matsuokas to sit together.

A bevy of whispers came from the Samezuka boys. "It's the captain's mom." "Wow, she's—"

Rin silenced them with a glare that had them flinching back and swiveling their eyes forward. Sousuke looked amused. Poolside, the swimmers started walking out when their names were called.

Eventually, Rin took his seat. "Mom, why are you here?"

His mother arched a brow at him. "Well, if you'd call once in a while I wouldn't have to stalk my son just to see his face, hmm?"

 _Tch_. Rin pursed his lips. Yeah, he was guilty of that.

"Gou said you've got multiple races tomorrow and hopefully the next day, so I thought this would be the best time to come. I was going to head straight to the hotel tonight, but the plane got in early. And then _my son_ was on TV." She smiled happily.

Rin sat back in his seat, deflating a little. _Wish you could've seen something better._

Miyako relaxed in the plastic chair with a contented sigh. "Ahh, this takes me back. I used to go to races like this all the time, to watch your dad."

Rin's eyes widened in surprise. His mom had been silent on the subject of his racing for years. She'd never once—

"— _Lane four, Mikoshiba Momotarou, Samezuka Academy."_

Down below, Momo had—somehow—tamed himself to _walk_ the length of the pool, rather than run, skip, or frolic. The kid was grinning, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he walked out to loud cheering from the Samezuka-Iwatobi crowd, not to mention from his brother on the Koutei side.

Nagisa cupped his hands around his mouth, leaning over the rail. "Momo-chan!"

Behind the starting blocks, the swimmers were stripping off their warmups.

Rin's mother gasped beside him, covering her mouth with one hand. "Oh my, those _latissimi dorsi_ …"

Gou sighed wistfully. "I _know_."

Miyako glanced at her daughter and frowned. "Gou, cover your eyes. You're too young to—"

"Mom! I'm eighteen. I'm in college!"

"Barely!"

"—Gou-san!" Momo was at it again, hopping around in his speedo and waving excitedly from behind the starting block on lane four.

Rin chuckled to himself and leaned back, glancing aside—

His mother went reed-straight in her seat. "Gou! Why is that practically _naked_ young man calling your name?"

Gou flushed pink, hiding her face in her hands. " _Mom_ …"

The four-pulse whistle had the swimmers dropping into the pool.

"Momotarou!" "Momo-kun!"

The stadium fell silent for the ready signal and the start—

Eight swimmers arced back into the pool, the cheering started— Little otter boy surged into the lead and kept it through the first fifty meters, into and out of the turn, and was still swimming away from the pack when he hit the wall. His time flashed up at fifty-two seconds and change—a full second under the official time. The second place swimmer qualified as well, just sliding under the 0:53.49 time.

Beside Rin, Sousuke was shaking his head. "That kid. He's gonna be something in Rio."

Makoto inhaled softly. "You realize what this means, right?"

Nagisa pumped a fist into the air. "Sei-chan and Momo-chan are going to Rio! With Haru-chan!"

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba's voice echoed in the stadium. He was out of his seat again, leaning way over the rail near the other Koutei spectators.

Down in the pool, Momo was splashing around, making a nuisance of himself and waving his swim cap in the air. "Nii-chan!"

Rin swallowed against the lump that lodged itself in his throat, his hands curling against his thighs. _Soon, guys. Haru. I'll make it. I promise._

He felt eyes on him and looked across the stadium… Sure enough, Haru was looking at him. The way Haru was gripping the rail in one hand, Rin knew they were thinking the same thing.

-x-

"Gou-san! _Gou-san_!"

Rin was walking out of the stadium with his mom and sister, followed by Sousuke and the Iwatobi alums, all minding their own damn business… Momo came bouncing out of the building in his black and gray Samezuka warmups, his gear bag flapping against his back, his hands in his pockets, his first place medal gleaming against his chest. Rin rolled his eyes towards the darkened skies, placing himself in Momo's path—

When Momo ran by him, he snagged the strap of the kid's bag and a handful of jacket, halting his forward progress, keeping Momo an arm's length away from his sister.

" _Momo_ —"

It didn't stop Momo from flailing (uselessly) in Gou's direction. "Gou-san! Do I get my kiss now?"

Gou turned bright pink under the glow of the stadium's exterior lights. "No! I never said I would kiss you!"

"Awww." Momo pouted, going limp against Rin's hold.

Their mother turned, sizing up the boy with a flick of her eyes. "You're the young man who won the race this evening."

Momo's eyes widened, his gaze darting between the two women. "Gou-san's…older sister?"

 _Tch_. Rin gave the boy a shake as he let go. Momo was innocent enough that he could only be serious. "It's our mom, dummy."

Momo blinked, looking confused as he resettled his bag on his shoulder.

Miyako's face warmed with delight. She laughed quietly. "Well, I suppose you're alright. With your clothes on."

Another set of footsteps approached. "Momotarou!"

Grinning, Momo spun around and trotted off towards his brother. "Nii-chan!"

Rin glanced over—

Haru was with Mikoshiba, the two of them trailed by most of the Koutei team. "Auntie Miya," Haru said, his cool eyes softening as he left his teammates to join them.

"Haruka." Rin's mother smiled brightly. "Congratulations. Are your parents here?"

Haru shook his head. "No. But I called them earlier."

"Give them my regards the next time you talk to them, OK?"

"Sure."

"Thanks for always being such a good friend to Rin. Keep taking care of him for me, alright?" She sighed happily. "It's so good to see the two of you together again. You were inseparable growing up. I remember how, whenever Haruka spent the night, it was always a huge ordeal to get the two of you out of the bath, or out of your swimsuits—"

Rin's face burned. " _Mom!_ "

"Oh, sorry, sorry." Miyako laughed, waving one hand. "I know. I'm not supposed to embarrass you in front of the other boys."

 _What am I, still five?_ _Tch._ He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at Haru.

"Awww." Nagisa pouted, leaning in. He was standing with Rei and Makoto. "I wanted to hear more stories about Rin-chan."

"No, no. I've already said too much, I can tell." Miyako tugged on Gou's arm. "Gou-honey, it's late. Let's head out, OK?"

"Hai." Gou went with her, waving. "I'm gonna stay with my mom at her hotel, so I'll see you guys tomorrow, OK?"

Nagisa frowned. "What? No sleepover at Ma—"

Rei quickly interrupted. "—Ah! Makoto-senpai, Nagisa-kun, I believe we're about to miss our train, so we really should be going."

Smart man. By the grimace on Gou's face, she clearly hadn't told their mother about her prior housing arrangements.

Makoto smiled gently. "I think you're right, Rei." He waved and the three Iwatobi alumni headed for the station.

For a moment, Rin was left standing with Haru and Sousuke.

"We should go," Sousuke said, moving off.

Rin exhaled. "…Right." He started to follow. "'Night, Haru."

"—Rin."

He paused, glancing back.

Haru wasn't looking at him. The soft glow of the stadium's exterior lighting gilded Haru's black hair with planes of silver. He stood with his hands in his pockets, gear bag slung over one shoulder, his face utterly unreadable. "…Get some sleep," he said quietly. Then he was walking away, joining the rest of the Koutei team headed for their bus.

 _Haru_. Rin's hands curled in his pockets. An odd wave of some emotion went through him, watching Haru leave. But he couldn't put his finger on it. And, anyways… _Nah, I'm just tired._ He shook it off and jogged a few steps, catching up with Sousuke.


	3. Forty-eight seconds / Five minutes

Thursday, April 7th, 2016

* * *

It rained all day on Thursday—not just a little, but steadily and unceasingly pouring from clouds that hung low, obscuring buildings and rooftops. The water sheeted against the windows of the stadium, the onslaught silent from inside where bright overhead lighting overcame the gray world outside. Rin climbed out of the pool after the fourth preliminary heat of the men's 200m butterfly, raking off cap and goggles as he caught his breath. Overall, he was in first place so far, his time barely over the JASF qualifying time. But there were still two more heats to go. He followed his competitors back to the waiting area, passing the swimmers heading out for the fifth heat, hearing Nitori and a couple of the others from Samezuka calling his name. The excitement in their voices was obvious, but Rin closed them out as he grabbed a towel and dried off. It was too soon to celebrate anything—not his one-two finish with Haru earlier that morning in the men's 100m free, nor this race. These were only the prelims and that damn clock was still taunting him. In the fifth heat of the free, he'd made 0:48.75, blowing away all of his own personal bests, but he was still over the JASF Olympic time of 0:48.16. Haru, in the sixth heat, had finished with a time of 0:48.92.

Draping the towel over his head, Rin grabbed a sports drink and claimed a spot on the bench in the waiting area, popping the tab one-handed and hydrating as he watched the remaining 200m butterfly heats on the video screens. In the fifth heat, Kawamura Ryouta, from Todai, bumped Rin from first place with a time that was already nine hundredths of a second under the JASF qualifying time. After the sixth heat, he'd been bumped to third. Rin wordlessly crushed the empty can in his fist. The clock wasn't going to be his only obstacle, moving forward. He tossed the can into the appropriate bin and headed below to the locker room as the announcers were calling the first heat of the men's 200m breaststroke.

-x-

He didn't feel like talking much at lunch, too determined and focused, with thoughts of revenge in the water filling his head. The combined Iwatobi-Samezuka group seemed to sense his mood and left him alone. Even Nitori gave him space, though Rin could feel the worried glances coming his way even with a couple of tables between them. (His mom and Gou had elected to go off on their own for a couple of hours and do girl things, or so they said. More likely, they knew he'd be impossible to deal with right now.) Only Haru was willing to brave being near him; Rin was keenly aware of the navy-clad Koutei swimmer sitting on his right, quietly eating a bowl of _miso-_ glazed _saba_ and stewed vegetables.

Conversations continued all around them in the tiny, crowded restaurant, Nagisa and Momo's animated voices especially pervasive. Rin wasn't paying attention and Haru wasn't joining in, either. It…eased his frayed nerves somehow, Haru being there with him, calm and unperturbed. He hadn't realized he was tense, but little by little, Rin felt the muscles along his spine and in his stomach relaxing, giving him back an appetite so he didn't have to force the food down anymore. By the time the meal was over, he almost felt normal again.

They walked back to the stadium in the rain—a sea of colorful umbrellas tottering beneath gray skies. Rin pulled on his baseball cap and zipped his jacket up to his throat to stay warm, shielded from the worst of the downpour by the red umbrella Nitori carried.

They had reached the base of the concrete steps in front of the stadium when Makoto stopped abruptly, breaking off a conversation with Nagisa and Rei. He tipped a green umbrella backward and turned, a slight frown on his face. "Wait, did we lose Haru?"

Haru had been keeping pace with the other Iwatobi alumni, last Rin saw, but now that navy-clad form was curiously absent.

"Haruka-senpai was here just a moment ago," Rei said, adjusting his glasses beneath the patterned, black and purple umbrella he carried.

"Did he forget something at the restaurant?" Makoto asked.

Nagisa, huddled close to Rei's side beneath the umbrella, wearing a rain jacket with the hood pulled up and framing his face, cupped his hands around his mouth. "Haru-channnn—"

 _He probably just…_ Rin turned, looking back the way they'd come.

Sure enough, Haru had somehow slipped away from the group. He was standing next to a fountain that was near the street, getting soaked to the skin with his eyes locked on water jets waving back and forth in sweeping arcs, lit by shifting colors—all despite the rain.

 _You'd think they'd turn that off._ It was a small miracle Haru wasn't stripping and climbing into the damn thing. Rin rolled his eyes. "I'll get him." He shoved his hands into his pockets and left the safety of Nitori's umbrella.

"Ah, Senpai—" Nitori's voice was laced with concern.

"We'll catch up, Ai. Don't wait for us."

Hunching against the cold rain, Rin jogged over to Haru's side, his shoes splashing in the puddles. "You idiot, what are you doing?"

The rain had plastered Haru's hair to his forehead. Droplets beaded on his lashes and ran in little trails down the contours of his face. "What? It's pretty," he said.

" _Tch_. You'll make yourself sick." Rin grabbed Haru's arm and pulled.

Haru frowned as Rin drew him away. "The water won't hurt me."

"Yeah, you and your _water_." He turned back towards the others and the stadium, heaving a sigh. His hand slid down Haru's damp sleeve until he was grasping cold fingers. "Your hand's like ice, you cold-blooded dolphin."

"Dolphins are warm-blooded."

Rin snorted. "You knew what I meant."

"Sharks are cold-blooded," Haru said, his fingers curling around Rin's hand. "But your hand's warm."

"'Cause I'm not the one trying to get pneumonia in the middle of the _Olympic Trials_." He shot a mock glare in Haru's direction.

Haru's ocean-blue eyes were intent upon him and just soft around the edges. "I'm gonna beat your time in the free tonight, Rin."

Rin cocked a brow. "You think so, huh?" He smiled. "You're first heat this time. Get used to silver, Haru. Because I won't let you be on top for long."

Haru's gaze relaxed, oddly satisfied with something. He turned his head away, rainwater rolling off the tip of his nose.

Rin peered at his friend suspiciously. "What's that smug look for?"

Haru lowered his voice, just audible over the steady hiss of the rain. "You finally smiled. I'm glad."

Rin inhaled, the cold, wet air filling his lungs, heat climbing up his throat. _Damnit, Haru._ He pressed his lips and tightened his grip on Haru's hand as he pulled his friend back towards the cluster of umbrellas, glad that the brim of his cap was low on his forehead, shielding his face as they finally caught up.

-x-

Haru was true to his word, clocking in at 0:48.65 during the first heat of the men's 100m free semi-finals that evening. Minutes later, Rin bumped him out of first place, finishing with a time of 0:48.47 in the second heat. After the women's 100m free semi-finals, Rin swam the second heat of the men's 200m butterfly, snagging the second spot overall. In tomorrow's finals, he'd have two chances at punching his ticket to Rio.

The finals that night were the women's 100m backstroke (no qualifiers), the women's 200m butterfly (two qualifiers), and the women's 200m individual medley (three qualifiers for two Olympic berths).

* * *

Friday, April 8th, 2016

* * *

"Don't fuck it up today, Rin."

Rin rolled his eyes as he swallowed a bite of toast. "Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence, Sousuke." He continued idly flicking through news channels on the TV, the volume low, as he sat cross-legged on a chair at the table in Sousuke's main room. He was barefoot, still in his pajamas—a black tank top and dark gray sleep pants. Beyond the glass doors that led out onto the balcony, the northern Tokyo skyline was scattered with clouds. As he reached for his glass of juice, he glanced furtively at his friend.

Sousuke finished packing books and binders into his messenger bag, his face smooth and his movements quiet and deliberate. There wasn't a trace of the mirth that should have accompanied what he'd said.

 _Don't tell me you really meant that._ "My time's fine in the butterfly," Rin said, keeping his voice light. "I just need to shave off a little in the free." He drank from his glass, trying not to get combative just because Sousuke woke up in one of his dour moods.

"I'm not worried about the butterfly." Sousuke straightened, swinging the bag over his left shoulder. He looked like he ought to be on the cover of the Todai brochure in his collared, white shirt with dark slacks and a matching blazer.

Returning his cup to the table, Rin stretched his arms over his head, his tank top shifting across his skin as he leaned back in the chair. "I can do it, Sousuke. Don't worry. You're not even the one swimming it."

"You're fine on your own," Sousuke said, turning for the hall. "When Nanase's not distracting you."

"Huh?" Rin lowered his arms, giving the dark-haired man a cool look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said." Sousuke glanced back, his hands slipped into the pockets of his slacks. "You lose sight of what's important when you're swimming with him. The clock is all that matters. If you hadn't hung back with him in the two hundred, you'd already have a ticket to Rio."

"The _fuck_ , Sousuke?" His fingers curled against his thighs, his limbs tensing. "You think I wasn't giving it my all in that race? You think I purposely—"

"Maybe not consciously." Sousuke shrugged. "But the minute you stopped competing with him and started cooperating— It's a cute game, the two of you taking turns for each other." His gaze darkened. "But the world's stage isn't a playground." With that, he disappeared down the hall.

 _Taking turns?_ Anger flashed hot through Rin's chest. He shoved his chair back from the table and got up, following. "Haru wouldn't do that."

"Right." Sousuke stepped into his shoes. "Like Nanase cares about anything but you out there."

 _Haru wouldn't do that!_ He slammed the heel of one fist against the wall. "What the fuck do you think you even know about _us_?"

Sousuke just looked at him mildly over his shoulder. "More than you do, obviously." He opened the door and left.

Rin watched the door close in his face, breathing a little hard. _Damnit, Sousuke_. The flare of anger faded eventually, but the sting of those words remained. His arms dropped limply to his sides. _What are you talking about? You don't know anything._

Rin checked to make sure he hadn't made a mark on the wall. Raking one hand though his hair, he went back to finish his breakfast.

-x-

First up that morning, Rin watched Momo and his brother claim the second and third spots in the prelims for the men's 200m backstroke. Two hundred meters seemed to be the sweet spot where Momo's sprinting speed started to drop off and Mikoshiba's endurance kicked in. The two would swim in different heats in this evening's semi-final, prior to the finals for the men and women's 100m free, and men's 200m butterfly and breaststroke.

After lunch with Gou and his mom (and Haru and the other Iwatobi alums), Rin went with Haru to the warmup pool. He swam a couple laps, but it was hard to keep focused. For some stupid reason, what happened that morning still had him agitated.

He was sitting at the side of the pool with his legs bent, arms slung loosely around his knees, when Haru surfaced next to him.

His raven-haired rival bobbed in the water, stripping off cap and goggles and shaking the water from his head. "Why are you being weird?"

Rin's immediate, defensive ' _I'm not'_ died in his throat, looking at those intent water-blue eyes. " _Tch._ " He glanced away. "Sousuke was fucking running his mouth this morning," he muttered.

Haru's eyes changed a little, cooling around the edges. He waited.

Rin heaved a sigh, rolling his shoulders in a failed attempt to work the tension from the muscles in his back. "You'd never do it, right? 'Help' me in a race."

That ocean-blue gaze hardened. "Like I'd ever try to be second to you in anything, Rin."

"Right?" He exhaled, leaning back on his hands. "That's what I fucking told him."

Haru hoisted himself up out of the pool and stood over him.

Rin made a face, brushing at the droplets of chlorinated water that dripped on him.

"You have to make it, Rin," Haru said quietly, not looking at him. "It wouldn't feel right, going without you."

He drew a breath. "Haru…" He looked up at his friend, but Haru only turned his face further away. Rin smiled. "I'll do it. Today."

A loud voice boomed over them: "Nanase! Matsuoka! Stop flirting and get your asses back in the pool!" Mikoshiba was yelling at them from the opposite side.

 _Tch_. Rin rolled his eyes as he got up. "He's not captain of the Koutei team, is he?"

"No." Haru turned back towards the pool, donning his cap and goggles again. "But he still does that."

-x-

In the men's 200m backstroke semi-finals that evening, the Mikoshiba brothers easily claimed spots in Saturday's final. After additional semi-finals for the women's 200m breaststroke and the men's 200m individual medley, the announcer called the swimmers to report for the men's 100m free final.

Rin stood in the waiting area with Haru, in his warmups and swim cap with his goggles clutched in one hand. Haru was next to him, in his navy-blue Koutei warmups and cap, his goggles hanging around his neck. Haru's eyes were closed, his face placid. _The world just can't fucking touch you, can it?_ Rin had no problem admitting he was jealous. His insides were a jumble of rioting nerves, his usual confidence warring in his head with doubts and slivers of fear. _Whatever_. Rin tightened his hand around his goggles and flicked his eyes towards the ceiling. _Watch this, Dad_.

The announcer's voice came on: " _Next up, program fifty one. Men's one hundred meter freestyle, final_."

He pulled on his goggles as he walked past Haru to get in line. "Haru, I'm gonna kill it out there. Try to keep up."

Haru settled his own goggles into place; their gazes met briefly. Haru's eyes glinted back at him, eager and focused.

Rin grinned and walked out when announced, taking his position as top seed in lane four, amidst the shouts of people calling his name. Haru was announced right after him; he was in lane five, on Rin's left this time. Rin stripped down to his leg skins and splashed a little water on himself as he waited for the rest of the swimmers to be ready. Haru, next to him, shucked off his warmups and waited.

At the long whistle, Rin climbed onto the starting block, looking down the length of the lane, at the fifty meters of glossy water, smooth as glass. He snapped the strap on his goggles before crouching into position. Forty-eight seconds and change was the time to beat. _Fuck that. I'm making forty-seven._

Ready, start— He dove—penetrating the surface of the water fingertips-first, sliding beneath the surface—and dolphin kicked savagely, shooting forward. Haru was right next to him, even a little ahead before they surfaced. But Rin had the more powerful stroke and for a 100m race, there was no holding back. He charged down the lane, displacing the water—subduing it with each muscled pull and kick, flying into the turn.

Rin was pushing off when Haru curled into the turn. More dolphin kicks propelled him forward, Haru again starting to close the gap underwater, but not completely by the time Rin broke through the surface. He surged through the back half, increasing his speed with each stroke into the final sprint, feeling Haru coming up behind him— The churn of the water and the roar of the crowd was deafening as Rin flew through the last fifteen meters and slammed his hands home.

This time he knew it before he ever popped up—he knew he'd done it. Rin surfaced in the frothy water, raking off his cap and goggles, glancing to the scoreboard for official confirmation—

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – MATSUOKA Rin – 0:47.88 NR

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – NANASE Haruka – 0:48.09

" _Yes!_ " Rin slammed his fist into the water, sending droplets shooting into the air. He was sub-forty-eight, Rio-bound, holder of a new National Record— _Suck on that, Sousuke!_

Turning to his right, he scissor kicked and launched himself halfway over the lane rope, tackling Haru who had only just managed to tug his goggles down to his neck—

Haru grunted, nearly pushed underwater. Hands gripped Rin's shoulders, but whether Haru was returning the hug or just trying to stay upright, he couldn't tell.

Rin buried his face in the side of Haru's neck. "Haru, we did it. We're swimming together in Rio."

" _Rin_ …"

 _I'm going to the Olympics. I'm gonna be an Olympic swimmer. Dad—_ His heart caught up with reality and suddenly the emotions were bursting inside of him, hot in his throat, leaking from his eyes—

"Rin—" Haru pushed at him lightly.

He leaned back.

Haru was smiling (more with his eyes than with his mouth, but still). "You're crying again?"

He grinned, not trusting himself to speak. Pulling away, he splashed Haru in the face and headed for the side of the pool.

-x-

Rin stayed in the waiting area after the race, downing a sports drink and keeping limbered up as the women swam their final for the 100m free. After this, he'd be right back out there for the 200m butterfly. He watched the monitors as the women raced. A couple of the girls were impressive—the first place finisher also came away with a new National Record. But they weren't under the qualifying time. He watched the heartbreak on their faces and empathized. Very little sucked worse than finishing within _a tenth of a second_ of an Olympic ticket.

The other competitors for the men's 200m butterfly gathered, milling about quietly in the waiting area. No one was talking— _we're all rivals here_. Beating the clock wasn't enough in this race. After last night's semi-finals, top seed Kawamura Ryouta was already a _half-second_ under and the third place competitor was barely over Rin's time. He was going to have to fight to earn one of the two spots in this event.

The women left the pool and headed for the locker rooms, some hugging each other or greeting teammates as they walked through.

A bit of music played, then the announcer's voice came on over the speakers: " _Next up, program fifty three. Men's two hundred meter butterfly, final_."

Rin chucked his empty can into the appropriate bin and fitted his swim cap on his head. He fell in line behind Kawamura, who wore warmups in light blue, slashed with gold—the colors of the Todai swim team. Kawamura was a couple years older and had trained in the States before coming back to the University of Tokyo. The guy was serious competition.

Rin felt a calm settle over him as he walked out to take his position in the fifth lane. It was probably because Rio was no longer a question. …It couldn't be because he happened to glance up into the Koutei section of the stands and saw Haru against the rail, watching him. _Nah_. Rin shoved his warmups into the bin and fitted his goggles over his eyes. It couldn't be that.

At the whistle, he climbed onto the starting block, hearing his name called alongside Kawamura's and the third seed's—Hayashida. _Sorry, guys. Nothing personal, but one of you won't be swimming this in Rio._

The buzzer sounded—

After four laps, Rin clocked in just behind Kawamura, at 1:54.30, a full second under the qualifying time. Kawamura nearly went sub 1:54 and Hayashida came in right at the qualifying time.

Rin clung to the side of the pool, catching his breath, nodding at his opponent. "Good race, Kawamura."

The man nodded back. "You too, Matsuoka." Then he flipped backwards under the lane ropes and swam for the side of the pool.

Rin followed.

-x-

Two men qualified in the men's 200m breaststroke final that evening, then Rin headed for the showers. He rinsed off and got dressed, towel drying his hair. The glow of victory aside, he was still pissed at Sousuke. Since when had the guy decided to be such a prick about Haru? Rin hadn't forgotten about the animosity between the two during competitions senior year in high school, but that shit was way over and done with. So why was it coming up again now? Either way, the thought of dealing with the guy for the rest of the night just coiled the muscles in his back. He needed some distance and time to cool off.

Rin headed out into the hallway in his warmups and sneakers, with his gear bag slung over his shoulder. Before heading upstairs, he pulled out his phone and dialed Makoto.

It only rang once before Makoto answered. " _Hey! Congrats! We're up here waiting for you_."

"Thanks." He paused. "Sousuke's there too, right?"

" _He's over with Momo and Nitori right now, but I could get him_ —"

"—No, no. Look, I—" Rin sighed. "We got in each other's faces this morning and I need some space. Can I crash at your place tonight?"

" _Oh, uh, sure. Of course_." He could almost _hear_ Makoto smiling gently. " _If you don't mind it being a little crowded. Since your sister's staying with your mom, Nagisa's over with me and Rei. You're welcome to join us. If you wanted a little more quiet though, you could stay with Haru. He's got space_." Makoto paused. " _I'm not trying to put you off or anything like that. But it can get rowdy with Nagisa and I'm sure you want your sleep_ …"

Rin smiled. It was probably about as bad as trying to have a sleepover with Momo. "Yeah…good point. I'll ask Haru. Thanks, Makoto."

" _Sure_."

Rin leaned against the wall and tapped out a text to Haru, on the one in a zillionth chance the guy actually had his phone on him today. Supposedly, Haru was better about carrying it now that he was in Tokyo, or so Makoto claimed. He slipped the phone into his pocket and headed up the ramp.

His phone buzzed before he got upstairs.

_[I'll send the address. I get dropped off at school, but I can meet you at the station. It's on the way.]_

Rin exhaled, relaxing. _[Thanks,]_ he sent back.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he went upstairs and outside. The brilliant stadium lighting reflected off the undersides of patchy clouds in the night sky.

"Rin!" "Onii-chan!"

Rin barely had time to brace before his mom and sister barreled into him. His mom shoved a giant bouquet of _pink_ flowers into his arms. "—Mom!"

His protest was smothered by their squeals and hugs. "Onii-chan's going to the Olympics!"

His mother was sobbing. "Oh, Rin-honey. Your dad would've been so, _so_ proud."

He gave up with a sigh and hugged them back. "Yeah, I know."

Miyako finally released him and brushed at her face with her handkerchief. Her eyes were red, her mascara smudged. "I'm sorry, Rin." She worried the handkerchief in her fingers. "I know I've always been…distant when it came to your swimming. It's just that you reminded me so much of your dad— Even just the way you—with the goggles—" She covered her face with her hands. "I just, I just couldn't…"

Emotion lodged in Rin's throat. "M-Mom _…_ " His voice broke a little.

Miyako fanned her face. "That's done, OK? From now on, I'm gonna be watching you and cheering you on, so—"

 _Damnit, don't make me cry—_ But he lost that battle for the second time today and sniffed hard, loosening an arm from Gou to hastily sweep the tracks of moisture from his face.

Gou was smiling, her face damp with tears she was sopping up with the cuff of her sweatshirt sleeve.

"OK." His mother drew a deep breath. "I'm OK. I'm good now." She stuffed her handkerchief into her purse. "I'm heading back home first thing tomorrow, so I'll miss your morning prelims, but I'll be watching you in the semi-finals tomorrow night and Sunday night's finals for sure!"

Rin perched a hand on his hip, smiling. "Well, I'll be sure to get past the prelims, then."

"Pfff, of course you will. You're my son the Olympian, aren't you?"

He grinned.

Miyako cleared her throat, putting on her patented mom-face. "Now Rin, I've heard really, uhm, outrageous things about how some athletes conduct themselves in the Olympic Village. I want you to promise me you won't get involved with those kids, don't do anything stupid, and above all, be _safe_ , you know—"

Rin's face burned. He lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. " _Mom!_ "

Gou snickered and coughed, turning red and looking away.

"Sorry, sorry." Miyako waved her hands. "I know, too much mom-talk. Alright, I'm going. One more hug—" She squeezed him tightly. "Bye, sweetie. Call me when you can, OK?"

Gou moved off with her, still trying not to laugh.

…And Rin realized too late that they left him standing there with the stupid flowers. He'd already shoved _two_ podium bouquets into his bag. No way in _hell_ he was carrying these things home on the train—

The Iwatobi boys joined him.

Nagisa latched onto his left arm, laughing. "Look, Rin-chan's face is the same color as the roses."

"Oi! Nagisa—" He shook the boy from his arm.

"Actually, it's little known but pink roses were the first roses to be cultivated, due to their prevalence in the wild." Rei adjusted his glasses. "Fossilized pink roses were discovered dating back millions of years. As for the shade, the light pink rose, such as the livia rose, represents gentleness and admiration, while deeper shades—"

"Wow. Here—" Rin thrust the bouquet into Rei's arms.

Rei cradled the blooms delicately, looking a little flustered. "B-but, Rin-senpai, I couldn't possibly—"

"Yes, you can. It's done already." He shoved his hands back into his pockets.

Makoto chuckled.

Rin looked beyond them, to the edge of the steps where the Samezuka boys were gathered in the soft glow of the walkway lights. Sousuke was with Nitori and the others. Rin sighed. This wasn't really going to be pleasant, but hopefully it would be brief. Down at the curb, he caught a glimpse of Haru and Mikoshiba boarding their bus with the rest of the Koutei team.

"…I'll see you guys in the morning," Rin said, heading out.

"Goodnight, Rin-chan!" Nagisa said, waving at full extension.

As usual, Nitori was the first to react when he approached.

"Rin-senpai!" The boy's face lit up. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Ai." He smiled at his silver-haired kouhai.

Sousuke had his hands shoved into the pockets of his black, denim jacket and a guarded expression on his face.

The rest of the Samezuka group crowded around, offering their sentiments and Rin endured it all for as long as he could.

"Alright, guys. Thanks. It's late, so I'll see you all tomorrow." He started off towards the station.

Sousuke fell in a few steps in trail, his shoes tapping softly against the concrete. "…Rin, congrats," he said when they were out of earshot of the others.

"…Thanks."

Sousuke lowered his voice. "About what I said this morning…"

Rin sighed, raking one hand into his chlorine-laden hair. "Honestly, man, I'm not ready to hear it. I need a little time to cool off, first."

"…OK."

"I'm gonna head off on my own for tonight." Rin returned his hands to his pockets.

There was a pause. "Do you need to grab anything from my place, first?"

"Nah." He shook his head. "I have enough." After a few more steps, he stopped. He hated goodbyes and he was done burning bridges _. Because you never know if this time is gonna be it… When the storms come and just take things you aren't ready to let go of—_ He turned. "Just to be clear, I'm not, like, ending anything here."

Sousuke looked back at him with shadowed, unreadable eyes.

"…I'm just not ready to talk about this more tonight."

Sousuke's face softened a little. "I got ya, Rin. No worries."

"Cool." Rin rolled his shoulders to work some of the tension from his back as he walked away.

-x-

As promised, Haru was waiting for him at the station exit, hands in his pockets, Koutei gear bag slung across his chest.

Rin joined him and they headed west along the street.

"If you want anything besides _saba_ we'll have to pick it up," Haru said.

"Nah, it's fine," Rin said. "I'm not sick of it yet."

They walked in silence most of the way. Little by little, Rin could feel himself relaxing as Haru's quiet calm spilled over onto him, however that worked.

Eventually, they reached a four-story apartment building only a few blocks from the station and the Koutei University campus. Rin followed Haru up the stairwell attached to the building, to the last door on the third floor—apartment 301. 

In the entryway, they slipped off their shoes and Haru turned on the lights. The place was smaller and the building older than Sousuke's apartment, with a sink and stove (no oven) just inside the entryway on the left and a large _tatami_ room that served as both the main living space and bedroom. The bath area behind a curtain on the right, however, was spacious—leave it to Haru to pick _that_ as the most important criteria in selecting a living space.

There was one table in the center of the room (with nothing on it), a low bookshelf with a small TV and the rice cooker, and a bed with blue covers beneath the window. At the foot of the bed, curtains hung over the glass doors that led out to the balcony. The only seemingly random item was a large cardboard box that had been shoved against one wall. It looked to be full of canvases and picture frames.

Haru opened the closet on the right-hand wall and stripped down to his jammers, putting his warmups away. He pulled on a cobalt blue sweatshirt. "I'll make dinner. You can use the bath now if you want."

"I'll go after," Rin said, setting his bag down. He shucked off his jacket and slipped a tank top on instead, comfortable enough in the temperature of the room to wear that and his warmup pants for now. He dropped down next to the cardboard box as Haru donned an apron and gathered ingredients from the fridge. "These are your works from first year?" Rin pulled out one of the large canvases—it was an acrylic painting of a waterfall.

"…Yeah." Haru set a pan on the stove. "They made me bring them home."

Rin snorted. "I always thought you'd major in underwater basket weaving or something."

Haru looked over sharply. "Where do they offer that?"

" _Pff_." He replaced the canvas and pulled out another. "It's not a real thing. And it's not what you're thinking, anyway."

"Nn." Haru turned back to the stove.

"Haru, these are all…" The box was filled with artwork in different media—oil, watercolor, sketches, photographs. "…Water." Pools, hot springs, rivers, pitchers of water, there was even a sketch of the bath… Rin clicked his tongue. "Did you even pass?"

" _Yes_." Haru glared at him.

Rin smiled. He pulled out the last canvas in the box…and his breath caught. It was an oil painting of Bondi Beach in Sydney, with turquoise water so clear and glistening it looked like it was moving. There were surfers poised on the sun-tipped waves, gulls flying in the air… Rin could almost hear the waves crashing on the shore, smell the saltwater breezes… " _Haru_ …" It was the first place in Australia that had eased his homesick heart. _Because I was thinking of you on the other side of it._ He'd taken Haru there once, almost two years ago. The painting was _perfect_. Rin sat back on his heels, clutching the canvas. "I like this one," he said, his voice a little raw.

"The assignment was to capture a place that represented a significant moment, like a turning point. …And the Professor said I couldn't paint any more pools."

 _Haru_ … Rin swallowed hard. He had the sudden urge to… _Aw, fuck it._ He set the painting down carefully and got up. Two steps and he was hugging Haru from behind, with his face pressed into dark strands of hair that smelled like chlorine. "Haru, I…" _I missed you. A lot._

Haru went still at first, but a second later he was breathing again and cooking normally.

Rin didn't want to let go yet. "…Is this weird?"

Haru shook his head, just a little. "No. Just be careful about the cooking oil."

"Yeah."

The fish hissed and sizzled on the grill pan. Haru shifted against him slightly, the spatula making a soft, scraping sound.

Maybe…maybe Nagisa was right. Rin turned his head to the side. _Maybe I do want to hug him a lot._ He sighed and reluctantly loosened his arms, drawing away from Haru's warmth. Rin leaned back against the sink, shoving one hand through his hair and trying to ignore the odd mix of emotions that rose inside him…and the fact that his heart was beating a tad faster than it should've been, for whatever reason. _A lot happened today. I'm just…being emotional. That's all._

"Rio, Haru." He heaved a breath to gather himself, bracing his hands against the edge of the sink. "How's your Portuguese?"

Haru frowned faintly. "There'll be a lot in English, right?"

Rin smiled. "Yeah. How's your English?"

Haru glared at him aside. "You know my English sucks, Rin."

He chuckled. "Have you studied at all since Australia? Because if you haven't, you're gonna be pretty damn lost."

"It's OK." Haru shrugged, his attention again on the pan in front of him. "You'll be there, so…"

The quiet words took the breath right out of him. Rin's fingers tightened, gripping the countertop behind him as all sorts of impulses coursed through him. "Fuck. You can't keep saying stuff like that, Haru. You make me want to—" He stopped abruptly.

" _What_ , Rin?" Haru's voice hardened as he turned. Those blue eyes were dark with accusation. "Why does it bother you so much?"

"It _doesn't_. That's the point. We're—" _friends. I'm not supposed to think about you that way._ He swallowed hard, tearing his gaze from Haru's eyes, from Haru's mouth. _Damnit, what's wrong with me tonight?_ "I know you're just putting up with it. All the times I hug you and stuff." Pain tainted those words with bitterness and he couldn't believe he was actually saying them. Warmth gathered in his face. He moved away—

But Haru's hand caught his left wrist, firmly.

Rin inhaled, glancing over.

Haru had his face turned away again, but the color in his cheeks was unmistakable. "I wouldn't let you…if I wasn't OK with it. Rin."

"Haru…" Rin's skin went from warm to burning.

For a moment, there was only the sound and smell of the cooking fish and Rin feeling his pulse hammer under Haru's fingers.

Then Haru let go. "This is done," he said, prodding the fish with the spatula. "Rin, can you get the rice?"

Finally able to breathe again, Rin nodded. "…Yeah."

They sat on the floor at the table, eating their dinner of mackerel and rice, with salad made from dark greens and sesame-ginger dressing. Instead of caffeinated tea, they drank milk and water. Haru turned on the TV while they ate.

A cooking show was on, showing a close-up of _konnyaku_ noodles boiling in a pot while upbeat, instrumental music played in the background. The young, male host gave minimal instructions on voiceover as the image switched to a bowl where _mirin_ , _sake_ , soy sauce, and sugar were whisked together. Then, into a large pan, went leeks, thin slices of beef, tofu, the boiled noodles, and the sauce. When finished, the _sukiyaki_ was served over rice.

"Do you think I could make that with _saba_?" Haru asked.

Rin sighed.

They were almost done eating when that show ended and the news came on. Rin choked on a swallow of water when right there on the TV was a replay of him celebrating his victory in the 100m free by tackling Haru in the next lane.

A woman's voice came on voiceover: " _It was another night of triumph at today's Olympic Trials at the Tokyo Tatsumi International Swimming Center—worthy of celebration—as the nation claimed six more Olympic berths in the men's one hundred meter freestyle, two hundred meter butterfly, and two hundred meter breaststroke, and saw four more swimmers added to the national team. First time Olympian Matsuoka Rin had this to say after punching his ticket to Rio in the one hundred meter free—_ "

 _Nn!_ Rin set down his cup, wiping the side of his mouth with the back of his wrist. "Oi, Haru. Mute it or something."

"Why? You're good at this."

Rin scowled. "Doesn't mean I want to hear myself—"

The image flicked to him standing in front of the wall of sponsors' logos, skin and hair dripping wet, smiling broadly for the camera and still a little out of breath. His eyes were bright and charged up as he spoke into the microphone. " _It's an incredible feeling—really amazing. I've been imagining this moment since I was a kid. To finally be standing here, living it—"_ Rin-on-TV paused to draw a breath, shaking his head a little. " _It's overwhelming, but in a good way._ "

"Eh." Rin looked away, his cheeks heating. While Haru continued to watch intently, he gave his attention to his rice bowl, wielding his chopsticks to attack the last few bites.

" _Matsuoka-kun, not only did your time qualify you for Rio, but you also set a new national record. Was that possibility on your mind going into tonight's race?_ "

Rin heard himself laugh on screen. " _Honestly, no. I wasn't thinking about it at all. I couldn't even tell you what the old record was. I just kept telling myself I was gonna get under that qual time. That, and I told Haru to try and keep up. Which, I'm happy to say, he did._ "

" _You spent the last year resuming your training in Sydney, but prior to that, you attended Samezuka Academy. You were even captain of the swim team your final year there. Obviously, the Samezuka group in attendance tonight holds you in high regard. What does their support mean to you?_ "

" _It means everything. My mom and sister are also here, as well as friends from our rival school, Iwatobi. Coming home after all this time away_ …" TV-Rin's voice softened. " _It's like everything has changed, but nothing has changed. They stood by me when I headed back to Australia and they're standing by me now, here. So I know that they'll be supporting me all the way. It's…a really great feeling._ "

"That was pretty cheesy, Rin," Haru said.

"Shut up, Haru." His face burned.

"— _Matsuoka-senpai!_ " The shout could be heard clearly from the stands.

The reporter laughed. " _Obviously they agree. Congratulations again, Matsuoka-kun_."

" _Thanks_."

The TV flicked to a woman sportscaster at a desk in a newsroom. " _Matsuoka went on to qualify in the two hundred meter butterfly as well, finishing second-place to Kawamura Ryouta, who is widely regarded as Japan's leading contender for individual butterfly events in Rio. Like Matsuoka, Kawamura trained mostly overseas._ " An inset picture showed Rin beside Kawamura on the podium, posing for their picture with their medals after the butterfly race." _Another up-and-coming favorite is first time Olympian Nanase Haruka, who added to his Olympic repertoire this evening by qualifying in the one hundred free alongside Matsuoka._ " The inset picture changed to one of Haru, looking classically stoic with the 100m silver medal hung around his neck. " _Nanase previously earned his Rio ticket on Wednesday night with an impressive finish in the two hundred meter freestyle final. He and Matsuoka are childhood rivals. Here are his thoughts about their race this evening…_ "

Haru's eyes widened. He snatched up the remote—

"Oh no you don't—" Rin tackled him before he could mute the TV or change the channel. Haru went down on his side, Rin on top of him, the remote control scattering out of reach. "You made me watch it—"

"Rin!" Haru glared at him, shoving back, one hand flailing for the remote—

" _Nanase-kun, congratulations on a great race tonight and another Olympic berth. On Wednesday night, it was just you. Now, you and Matsuoka-kun are both headed to Rio and you'll be swimming in the same event. How much more does this night mean to you?_ "

TV-Haru frowned as if he didn't understand the question. Real Haru jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow, but Rin managed to capture that arm and pin it to the floor.

" _I'm…happy we'll be able to swim together_ ," TV-Haru said quietly. " _That's what I wanted, so tonight's better than Wednesday._ "

" _Can you tell us what you were thinking, going into tonight's race?_ "

"… _Mostly about the water_."

"I can't believe you said that, Haru."

"Oi, Rin—" Haru continued reaching for the remote, his face coloring.

" _Also… That Rin would show me something I hadn't seen before. I'm…glad I got to see him swim like that._ "

A few more questions and choppy answers were lost in grunts of effort and limbs hitting the floor as Haru squirmed halfway out and pushed him over. Rin landed on his back, briefly, but rolled, pinning Haru beneath him with their heads towards the TV. They were both breathing roughly. Rin had a fistful of Haru's sweatshirt in one hand.

" _Anyone special you want to give a shout-out to, tonight?_ "

"… _My friends are here and my parents are watching_." TV-Haru glanced into the camera and waved, completely serious and stoic at first. Then, as if as an afterthought, TV-Haru attempted to smile, but it was such an awkward, forced expression that Rin took one look and sputtered, trying desperately not to laugh—

He'd heard everything Haru had said in the moment, but he hadn't actually _seen_ the interview or Haru's face. _Crap_ , it was too much. The laughter bubbled up and Rin couldn't hold it in. On TV, the newscaster was speaking from the desk again, but he missed what was said. He laughed until his sides were splitting and his arms were shaking. "H-Haru—" His arms suddenly gave out and he crashed down against Haru's chest.

" _Oi!_ " Haru grunted, pushing at him, his cheeks bright red. "I was trying, you know."

"I know. Sorry, sorry—" Tears leaked from the corners of Rin's eyes. "It's just, so— _Ow_ —"

Haru's eyes narrowed before he turned his face away.

" _We had a chance to catch up with Koutei University and national team coach Fujino Katsurou after tonight's races._ "

The TV image switched back to the sponsor wall, but it was Coach Fujino in his navy blue Koutei uniform standing in front of the camera.

With the change of topic, Rin was able to calm down. He caught his breath slowly, his sides still aching, and rolled off Haru. "I didn't know they interviewed him…" He sat up and leaned back with his hands braced against the floor.

"Me neither." Haru righted himself, facing the TV and smoothing the wrinkles from the front of his sweatshirt.

" _Coach Fujino, how are you feeling about Japan's prospects in Rio after tonight's results?_ "

The man nodded for a moment, his face thoughtful. " _Confident. Very confident. We welcomed four new swimmers tonight and fully qualified for three events. We're shaping up to have a strong team_."

" _Anyone who particularly stood out to you tonight?_ "

" _Obviously Matsuoka-kun was the star with his record-setting finish this evening, but Kawamura-kun was also solid. I certainly have high hopes for Nanase-kun as well, and Akiyama-kun and Nakahara-kun. Although it was a disappointing evening on the women's side, Sasaki-san still did extremely well. A new national record is a great achievement_."

" _Coach, Japan has qualified for all six Olympic relay events: the four-by-one hundred meter and four-by-two hundred meter freestyle relays and, of course, the four-by-one hundred meter medley. Any word on potential team members?_ "

Rin inhaled, perking up. By his side, Haru also straightened.

" _We'll be working hard to determine that during our upcoming training camps, once the team is fully formed with both our newcomers and our Olympic and World Championship veterans. These are highly competitive, coveted positions. Qualifying times are of the utmost importance, but perfecting relay technique is also critical. My staff and I will be looking to see who shines_."

Rin's hands curled against the floor. "Has he started talking about it yet? To you guys?"

Haru shook his head. "No. Just that it'll be decided in the training camps."

It was almost too overwhelming to think about, swimming an Olympic relay in Rio… _with Haru_. The thought made his breath catch, his heart pound in his chest with a sudden surge of longing. It wasn't enough just to swim relay like his Dad. Not when Haru was right here.

"Haru…do you want to?" It felt like being back in grade school again, asking Haru about that very first relay. He remembered that stubborn, defiant look, the aloof words, ' _I only swim free.'_ But a lot had changed since then.

The news on TV turned to other things. Haru recovered the remote and switched it off, enveloping them in silence. Rin waited.

Haru didn't look at him. He had one knee tucked against his chest, his right arm slung around it. "I like competing with you," he said. But then he paused, his gaze and voice lowering. "But swimming with you is better."

Rin's breath hitched, his face warming, a pleasant jolt running through him. Well, that cinched it. Getting to Rio was only the beginning. Now… Tearing his gaze from Haru, he swallowed hard and laid back against the _tatami_ flooring, staring up at the ceiling as those same impulses rose inside him. Back when they were kids, he wouldn't have hesitated. He always used to tackle Haru and hug him. Hell, sometimes he even kissed Haru on the mouth to say goodnight. For awhile there, they'd done everything together—eating, sleeping, bathing. Stupid kid things that he'd left behind when he went to Australia to train. For all he knew, Haru and Makoto had been equally close.

 _I left, grew up, came back…_ He wasn't supposed to…miss things like that. It was weird, right? Still feeling that way about his friend.

Haru began gathering the dishes. "Go use the bath."

"You cooked." Rin sat up. "I can at least—"

Haru shook his head. "It's my apartment. Don't argue."

Rin exhaled and got up, heading obediently into the bathroom, ducking through the curtain and turning on the light.

"Towels are in the cabinet," Haru said.

"…Thanks."

The floor was pale turquoise and gray tiles with an inset drain. To the left, a closet enclosed the washing machine and shelves for towels and other supplies. The toilet and sink were in an adjacent room with a door. The same gray and turquoise tiles covered the lower half of the walls surrounding the beige _ofuro_. The mirror and shower head were on the left-hand wall, with a shelf of shampoo, soap and other necessities. A wooden shower stool and water pail sat on the floor. Haru's old dolphin ornament was perched on the edge of the tub.

Rin stripped off his clothes into the bin inside the doorway, peeling off his leg skins and setting them aside. Maybe it was just the human contact that he missed. He turned on the shower and went about his business. He'd made friends in Australia, but not like the way he'd been with Haru. They were nice enough, but language and cultural differences still made it hard to connect. Every time he started to feel like one of them, a glimpse of his own reflection or hearing his own accented English reminded him that he wasn't really and made him homesick all over again. One time, he'd tried for something more. Rin dumped a pail of water over his head, then lathered up his hair. It was weird to be thinking about it now. He couldn't remember the little girl's name, her face, or even the color of her hair. He just remembered her eyes, because they'd been blue like the water off Bondi Beach. Needless to say, nothing came of that week-long crush except for Russell and Lori's teasing. For whatever reason, he hadn't really…tried again. When others wanted to get close, he'd only let them in so far, kept them at a distance. He'd hit that wall, lost the race to Haru, quit swimming all together… Rin rinsed the shampoo from his hair, the soap from his body. Those few years had been a fog…until he came back from Australia and started swimming with Haru again.

Once he was clean, he rinsed out his leg skins and pulled them back on. Yeah, climbing into the bath in a swimsuit was kinda weird, but once in a while… Besides, it only felt right doing it at Haru's place. _That's how we used to…_

Rin stuck a toe in the water and winced. The bath was barely tepid. _Haru_. He rolled his eyes and climbed in.

Beyond the curtain, he could hear Haru moving about in the other room.

 _Guess I should just get used to it._ He folded his arms on the side of the tub and rested his head on top. _This whole stupid growing up thing._ Dreams were more important, anyway. _Dad, I'm going to Rio._ The thought still thrilled him, but it didn't completely disperse the other emotions coiled inside him. _I'm going to Rio…with Haru._ Rin sighed and closed his eyes. Honestly, he was exhausted.

 _Why does it bother you?_ Haru had asked.

_Because I react when you say things like that. I can't…not feel things. That's why._

A little while later, Haru came into the bathroom.

"I'm not dead," Rin muttered, not moving. "Am I taking too long?"

"No," Haru said. There was a rustling of fabric. Then the shower started.

Rin arched a brow. Not like he'd never shared a locker room with Haru before. Still, it wasn't polite to stare. He kept his eyes closed, listening to the sounds of Haru washing.

Eventually, the shower quit. There was the soft snap of spandex—

"Move over."

Rin's eyes flew open. "Eh?"

Haru was leaning over him, hair and skin dripping wet, wearing a pair of black and purple jammers. "I know you heard me."

"Haru, we won't both fit in here."

"It'll work. Like we used to. Just turn around."

" _Oi_ , Haru—"

But Haru was already climbing in with him, displacing enough water that some of it spilled over the side of the tub and ran down into the drain.

There was just enough room to sit back-to-back with their knees bent, the water up to their shoulders. It probably wouldn't be comfortable for long, but when Haru leaned back against him, Rin inhaled involuntarily, his protests fizzling into nothing. They sat like that for several minutes in silence, Rin feeling the steady rise-fall of every breath Haru took against him. Haru was relaxed, obviously comfortable, his damp hair soft against the back of Rin's neck.

Rin exhaled. "Don't tell me this is normal thing with you, these days. When Nagisa was over—"

"No," Haru said. "Shut up already. This is nice." He yawned.

"Hey, don't fall asleep—"

"It's late, Rin. We're racing in the morning."

"We can't sleep in _here_."

"Just five minutes."

Haru leaned more and more against him, his limbs slackening, his breathing going soft and regular…

Rin gave up and gave in. _Damnit, Haru_. But he smiled, the tension in his frame unraveling into…contentment. Resting his arms loosely around his knees in the cool water, he leaned back into Haru…


	4. Freestyle rhythms & bittersweet butterfly

Saturday, April 9th, 2016

* * *

Rin woke with the dawn. The window above Haru's bed was open, letting in both patchy sunlight from a semi-clouded sky and a cool breeze of fresh air that gently stirred the framing curtains. He shifted beneath the blankets, too awake to go back to sleep, but too cozy to consider getting up. It was still early and, by the shallow, rhythmic breathing from the bed, Haru was still asleep.

Rin curled on his side on the futon, his tank top and sleep pants twisting around his frame. Strands of garnet hair fell across his eyes. He finger-combed them back from his face, stifling a yawn.

On the low bed beyond the futon, Haru was nestled under blue covers, just his head and one hand visible—clutching the corner of his pillow. Haru's face was towards Rin, ebon hair strewn across pale skin, his lips slightly parted as he breathed.

Rin pillowed his head on one bent arm, stealing a moment to watch Haru and not really feeling guilty about it. He'd slept pretty well. Normally, sleeping somewhere new…it was usually disorienting, waking up in unfamiliar surroundings. At nearly a week in, he was still getting used to Sousuke's place. It seemed like every morning he was jarred awake by some new noise from the neighbors or from outside.

Here, though… In the distance, he could hear the _clack-clack_ of a train running on its tracks, the faint squeal of steel brakes. Nearer was the _ring_ of a bicycle bell. None of it was bothersome.

 _How do you do it?_ _Radiate this quiet calm where the storms of life don't bother you?_ Rin closed his eyes briefly, a stray memory coming to him of a night at Haru's house, back when they were kids. He stayed over after swim team practice and dinner; the storm rolled in unexpectedly. It wasn't so much the sound of the rain lashing against the window or the gales of wind that bothered him…it was the sound in his head, of the waves crashing and the violent churning of the sea. Rin woke in a cold sweat, bolting upright in bed, clutching his shirt with white knuckles as his heart raced in his chest. He gulped for air, hearing and seeing nothing but his own nightmares until soft hands cupped his face. Haru knelt beside him, Rin's world settling on a steady gaze, blue eyes turned indigo in the dark room. _"It's OK, Rin,"_ Haru said. _"You don't have to be afraid. It's just water."_ It wasn't the words that soothed him that night, it was Haru…staying with him just like that until his heartrate slowed and his breathing eased. When he finally fell asleep again, it was because Haru pulled him back down to the bed, hugging him beneath the covers until he wasn't scared anymore…

Rin sat up, pushing one hand into his hair and exhaling. _Yeah. You're just like that. You've always been like that._ The blankets rustled as he bent one leg, resting an arm atop his knee.

"Rin."

He looked over, meeting Haru's gaze. Those eyes were blue like the ocean at daybreak—liquid, drowsy, and soothing. Haru hadn't moved, still curled beneath the covers, but his lips were drawn into the faintest frown.

"Did you sleep OK?"

 _Fuck_ , Haru was adorable. Rin fought off a random impulse to pounce his friend with a hug. Instead, he inhaled roughly, tugging on a bit of his own hair as he dropped his hand. "You talk like that, look like that, and it's a wonder the entire building isn't here trying to kiss you good morning," he muttered.

Haru's face softened, a rare trace of mischief flickering in the depths of his eyes. "You're here. Are you gonna try?"

"Nn—" Rin straightened in surprise, his legs falling into a cross-legged position with his hands braced against his ankles. His face heated.

The bedclothes shifted as Haru stretched a little and blinked slowly, that playful look remaining. "You didn't used to be shy."

Immediately, Rin's competitive nature rose inside him, keen to respond. But this wasn't a race in the pool, or seeing who could strip down to his swimsuit faster, or who could grab the most live crabs at the summer festival when they were kids. He frowned, looking away. "Haru—"

But a warm hand landed on his shoulder, pulling him forward. The next thing Rin knew, Haru's lips were against his cheek, soft against his searing flesh— Rin's heart lurched in his chest.

"'Morning, Rin."

Then Haru was pushing the covers back and getting out of bed, covering a yawn as he walked towards the bathroom in his T-shirt and sleep shorts. He did it all as naturally as breathing.

 _Oh, you can't just—_ Unwilling to be outdone, Rin shot to his feet like a runner off the blocks, catching up with long strides and hooking one arm around Haru's shoulder from behind. "Like hell I'm—" _letting you win._ Ignoring the way his pulse was pounding in his throat, he pulled Haru back against him, one hand cupping the side of Haru's jaw as he brought their faces close-

He would've gone for the lips like he used to when they were kids, but Rin chickened out at the last second, his face burning as his lips met Haru's cheek instead, just catching the corner of Haru's mouth. Still, it was enough…and sweet revenge when Haru's breath hitched. Rin drew back, meeting startled and wide eyes, pink ghosting the top of Haru's cheekbones. An odd feeling stirred in the base of Rin's stomach as he tried not to think about how near their faces were, or how soft those strands of hair were against his fingertips. It was just the satisfaction that he felt—that's what he told himself as he smirked, victorious, loosening the embrace.

Haru's hand closed around his retreating wrist, firm and warm, a streak of something dangerous flashing in those cobalt eyes. Rin inhaled involuntarily, a thrill lashing through him in anticipation of Haru raising the stakes (never mind to _what_ )—

But Haru dropped his gaze and exhaled. "Fine, you win," he said, pulling away and resuming his path towards the bathroom, though not without a heated glance back that was in no way a concession. " _This_ time."

Exhilaration spread through Rin's body, blood rushing hot through his veins— It was the same feeling he got when they raced in adjacent lanes, warring for the top position, neither willing to submit—

The feeling lingered when Haru disappeared beyond the curtain. Rin drew a slow, tight breath and exhaled at a measured rate to compose himself. He pressed his lips, but that was a mistake, tasting chlorine and something else that was indefinably…Haru. _What the fuck did I just do?_ Rin cleared his head with a shake, trying to ignore the way his skin felt on fire as he started folding the blankets.

He had the bedding and futon tucked away in the closet and the low table back in the center of the room by the time Haru returned to the main room and pulled on an apron over his pajamas.

"I only have _saba_ ," he said, tying the strings behind him. "Unless you want to go to the store."

Rin shook his head. "You've got toast, right?"

Haru glanced at him, looking mildly offended by the question. "I always have toast." He headed for the fridge.

Rin smiled and went to take his turn in the bathroom.

-x-

"What're we supposed to do with these?" Rin asked, his hands in the pockets of his black and red warmups as he stared down at the four podium bouquets they'd stashed in a corner of Haru's balcony—the two that were his and the two that were Haru's. A pleasant breeze ruffled his collar and sifted through his hair.

Haru poked his head outside as he zipped up his navy blue warmup jacket over a white T-shirt. "Maybe the birds can build nests with them." He disappeared back inside.

"Hm." Rin followed, closing the glass door.

In the entryway, they slipped on their shoes and grabbed their gear bags before heading outside and down the stairs to the street. The sky was mix of grayish clouds and swaths of blue. It might rain, but maybe not.

They walked together towards the station, through narrow streets lined with buildings, bicycles and the occasional car passing by. The silence was comfortable rather than awkward. Rin didn't feel the need to make conversation to fill the air.

When he began to see the station, though, in the distance… "Haru, thanks for letting me crash."

Haru nodded.

Rin exhaled, shoving his hands further into his pockets. "Since my mom's headed home today, I guess it'll end up with Nagisa back at your place tonight."

"Probably." Haru paused, glancing aside at him. "You've got a place?"

"Yeah." Rin nodded but didn't elaborate. He didn't feel like talking about Sousuke with Haru, for whatever reason. Not beyond what he'd already said yesterday.

"My parents are flying in today," Haru said. "Makoto's meeting them at Haneda later this morning."

"Oh, your dad got time off work?"

"Just for the weekend. They're leaving late tomorrow night." Haru walked with one hand resting on the strap of his bag, against his chest. "My mom picked some restaurant she wants to eat at tonight with everyone. You can come, too." Those blue eyes flicked away. "…You can ask Yamazaki, if you want."

It was subtle—the change in Haru's voice, but Rin heard it—the flat words, emotionless, and sucked dry. It gnawed at him as the conversation lulled for a moment, the two of them falling quiet except for the scuff of their shoes against the pavement. For the first time, Rin wondered… "Did something happen?"

"What?" Haru looked at him with a face that was impenetrably neutral.

Rin pressed his lips. "It feels like senior year all over again. You and Sousuke…"

Haru was silent for a moment. "We don't really talk much," he said, his hand falling to his side.

_That's not really an answer._

"He's at Todai." Haru shrugged. "He quit swimming."

Rin's fingers curled in his pockets. "Then nothing weird's going on?"

Haru gave him a sideways glance with cool eyes. "What do you define as 'weird,' Rin?"

Rin drew back a little, hunching his shoulders. _Yeah, guess it's none of my business, huh?_ "Dunno. I just… It just doesn't feel like how I left it."

Haru's lips thinned into a line, his blue eyes gazing into the distance before them. "You didn't think anything would change? In a year?"

 _No…_ Rin looked down at the pavement in front of his feet. _Not that stuff, anyways._

"Didn't you go away because you couldn't become what you wanted, here? You left for your revenge, to be free…"

Rin's footsteps slowed and came to a stop entirely. They were nearing the station where people converged, streaming in and out of the entrances and exits in steady flows. Haru had spoken in the detached monotone of his usual speech, but Rin knew his friend too well. He didn't miss the hints of things that lay below the surface of those words. Tendrils—invisible currents in those waters—of bitterness, resignation, quiet understanding, and wistfulness… Vortexes of unsaid things.

He'd paused in the flow of traffic and people began to move around him, some brushing or bumping against him in their rush.

Haru went a few steps more, his navy-clad form nearly swallowed by the press of people, before he stopped and looked back.

There was a feeling churning in Rin's gut that he couldn't identify, but he knew he didn't like it. It…hurt a little, or something. _Did you resent it, that I left? You never said so._ His hands uncurled, leaving his pockets and hanging at his sides. He watched his friend, the people milling between them, and those few steps felt like an ocean separating them, for all that he felt rooted in place and unable to move.

Haru's eyes widened, that neutral mask cracking with a trace of alarm. Then he was moving back, making his way upstream through the flow of people, until they were standing face-to-face.

"Rin, I didn't—"

"—Don't." He narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean it."

Haru's face clouded. He looked aside, silent for a few beats before he spoke. "I…wanted you to be free. I didn't have to like _how_ , did I?"

Rin inhaled, the ache bleeding away and replaced by warmth. His breath came out in a puff shortly thereafter. He once more thrust his hands into the pockets of his jacket—to keep himself from doing something else with his arms in front of all these people—and nudged Haru's shoulder with his own as he walked past. (Still, the touch was more of a lingering glide than a simple bump…) " _Damnit_ , Haru." He headed for the station entrance, feeling his face heat.

"I'll see you there, Rin." The soft words followed him.

-x-

Rin slipped through the doors of the train just before they closed, as the 'caution' melody was playing over the speakers. Being that it was Saturday and early, the car wasn't as crowded as it had been during the week. He could've sat down if he wanted to, but he didn't. Rin leaned against one of the metal poles near the opposite-side doors as he fished his phone and headphones out of a zipper pocket on the outside of his gear bag. Tipping his head back to get his hair out of the way, he pushed the earbuds into his ears and cranked up the volume. The train pulled away from the platform smoothly, passing from the shaded station into daylight and picking up speed. Buildings flashed by, blocking shafts of sunlight as a loud tangle of drums, cymbal, bass and electric guitar, and vocals in both English and Japanese filled his ears. He watched the morning skyline, steadying himself with the metal pole against his back, letting the music drown out everyone and everything around him…and the scraps of thoughts that were whirling like a tempest in his head. The random impulses and feelings faded beneath jagged melodies interrupted by the occasional bridge of piano. He had two races this morning, the 50m free and the 100m butterfly; neither would be easy. He was being lax with discipline if he was letting himself be distracted.

The music was still blaring when he exited Tatsumi station, a couple transfers later. With his hands resting in his pockets, the wind—at times—gliding through his hair, he walked the last couple of blocks to the stadium. With clockwork regularity, large airplanes disturbed the sunlight from above, only a couple thousand feet high on approach into Haneda, adding to the shadows of drifting clouds.

Various schools and clubs were gathering on the concrete steps before heading inside. Rin bypassed the groups, climbing the stairs alone and angling towards the entrance.

" _Ano_ … Ma-Matsuoka-kun!" A girl stepped into his path.

Rin stopped, seeing her almost too late and barely hearing her with his music going. His brows lifting in surprise, he reached up and plucked the headphones from his ears.

The girl was a year or two younger than Gou, if he had to guess, in a ruffled, red miniskirt and white blouse. Her blond hair was pulled up into two high knots on top of her head, bangs secured with sparkly barrettes and she was wearing _a lot_ of purple eyeshadow. The girl was shaking a little, a school bag with several plushie straps on it clutched to her chest, her eyes dark and face flushed red. He didn't know her.

"…Yes?" He brought his phone out briefly, turning off his music with a swipe and tap of his thumb.

"Ma-Matsuoka-kun, I…I saw you swim yesterday." Her eyes darted around nervously, settling on him for just seconds before shying away repeatedly as she spoke. "I'm—I'm a huge fan, so could I… Could I…" She thrust forward a board and marker. " _Could I have your autograph?_ "

 _Ah_. Rin softened his face. _Guess this is what I get for being on TV._ Several paces behind her, he saw a cluster of other girls who looked about the same age, whispering to each other and watching intently. So this blond was the brave one, huh?

He smiled at her, accepting the items. "Sure. What's your name?"

The girl's brown eyes widened, her face lighting up. She cleared her throat quickly. "Hotaru. Could you, um…" She clutched the strap of her bag. "Could you sign it in English?"

Rin cocked a brow at that, lowering his attention to the board. He uncapped the marker with his teeth and braced the board against his arm, writing in his cursive scrawl.

_To Hotaru—_

_Thanks for the support_

_Regards,_

_Rin Matsuoka_

He capped the marker and handed both items back to her. "How's that?"

The girl accepted the board with both hands, inhaling hard, her face the color of her red miniskirt. "Th—thank you, Matsuoka-kun!" A broad smile broke across her face and she was nearly vibrating as she held the board against her chest and quickly bowed. "Good luck today!"

"Thanks," he said, smiling.

The girl dashed back to her friends and Rin walked on, listening with one ear to the excited gushing and fawning going on over the girl's prize. His writing teacher back in Sydney would be proud.

Rin headed inside without further interruption, making his way to the locker room.

Haru and the other Koutei swimmers were there—most of them changing, banging locker doors, and chatting. Haru was wetting himself down in the showers, clad in his navy-blue jammers. He stepped out from under the spray, flinging excess water from his hair with a shake of his head.

Rin was about to call out to him when movement—or, rather, a familiar stance—in the back of the locker room caught his eye. There were two men—a guy with brown hair shucking off pale blue and yellow warmups, the second reclining against the lockers in a pair of black jeans, a gray v-neck shirt, and a dark green hoodie—clothing designed to look casual, but the cuts, lines, and tailoring screamed top label. Sousuke had his hands in his pockets, one leg bent with the sole of his shoe braced against the lockers behind him as he watched the other man undress. The two were talking in low voices.

When the swimmer had stripped down to his jammers, he turned his back toward Sousuke, flexing broad shoulders and rotating his right arm slowly. Rin recognized the guy as Kawamura Ryouta, the Todai swimmer who had beaten him in the 200m butterfly last night. Sousuke straightened off the wall of lockers and stepped forward, his gaze intent and clinical, his hands equally so as he touched Kawamura's right shoulder and elbow.

 _I…didn't realize you knew each other._ The thought was accompanied by a nagging, old hurt. It had nothing to do with Sousuke's attention to another athlete—both attended Todai and given Sousuke's reputation in butterfly, it shouldn't have been surprising at all that the two were acquainted. But the memories that surfaced were bitter as he watched Sousuke check Kawamura's shoulder. _Because what kind of best friends hide things—massive, dream-ending things—from each other?_ That was years ago, now, and he'd thought he'd gotten over it. But…

"Matsuoka, good morning!" Mikoshiba came over, grinning brightly, his Koutei warmup jacket unzipped, baring his chest over his warmup pants and shoes. He slapped Rin's shoulder. "Congratulations and welcome to the team!"

Rin grunted at the force of the blow, making a face and rubbing his shoulder. "Thanks…Mikoshiba." From the corner of his eye, he saw Sousuke glance at him, but chose to play ignorant.

The former Samezuka captain perched a hand on his hip. "You'll like Coach Fujino. He and I agree in a lot of areas. We have similar motivational styles."

… _Great_. Rin fought to keep the wince from showing on his face. Not that he particularly disliked anything about Mikoshiba's methods or swimming technique. The guy was just obnoxious sometimes _._ Like—

"Nii-chan!" Momo came bounding up in his Samezuka gear, narrow confines of the locker room be damned. The kid was _sparkling_ with energy. "We're racing together today!"

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba slung an arm around his little brother's shoulders, Rin apparently forgotten. "Did you eat a nutritious breakfast this morning?"

Momo grinned. "Hai! I ate with Nagisacchi!"

Rin grimaced, his teeth hurting at the mere thought of all that sugar…

" _Momotarou!_ " Mikoshiba's arm tightened to a headlock. "How do you expect to be in top form when you eat like that? Huh? _Huh?_ Come on—you're gonna do laps and burn those calories!"

"Nii-chan…" Momo wailed, arms flailing as Mikoshiba dragged him away towards the locker room exit.

Haru came over as Rin watched them leave. He was pulling on his Koutei swim cap, his goggles hanging around his neck. "Rin." Those blue eyes were warm, inviting like fifty meters of glossy pool water waiting to be plumbed, though the rest of his face was his normal, stoic expression. "You ready?"

Rin smiled, about to respond— The hairs on the back of his neck stood up—like someone was staring at them.

Haru's gaze flicked in that direction…and his face changed in an instant, his eyes cooling, his emotions once more walled off behind a guarded, neutral expression.

Rin glanced over his shoulder, just catching a glimpse of Sousuke's back as he and Kawamura were walking away. _Seriously, what the fuck?_

"I'm going," Haru murmured, heading towards the exit.

 _Haru_. Rin jammed his bag into a nearby locker and jogged a couple steps to catch up.

-x-

Haru was quiet as they made their way to the warmup pool—no more than usual, but there was tension in Haru's frame, as if the calm that normally surrounded him had become agitated and stormy.

Rin frowned as they pushed through the double-doors that led to the pool. "Haru…"

But Haru was already moving away from him and didn't answer, pulling goggles into place and crossing the pool deck with quick strides. Lane eight, closest to the doors, was available, and Haru was up on the block and diving into the water within seconds, his form unusually rough.

The muscles in Rin's stomach tensed as he watched, his hand curling around the strap of the goggles and swim cap he carried. _You're…_ upset? Annoyed? It was hard to tell. Either way, Rin didn't like it. There was a lot more going on than just Haru and Sousuke falling out of contact because Sousuke quit swimming.

Of course, Haru didn't like it when _anyone_ quit swimming, or even threatened to. Rin knew that, but…

Haru stayed underwater well past the regulation fifteen-meter mark, surfacing halfway down the pool and swimming at a moderate pace towards the opposite end. His strokes were choppy at first, but they smoothed out as he went. By the time Haru made the turn at the end of fifty meters and started back, he was gliding through the water, the rhythm of his pulls slower, but he was swimming _further_ with each stroke—going faster overall.

He made his way back to the starting end of the pool and popped up for air, shaking the water droplets from his head before he lifted his goggles onto his forehead. Haru looked _completely_ different—relaxed and at ease, tranquil like the water that rippled outward from his shoulders.

Rin exhaled slowly. _How the hell do you do that? It's just water._

Haru glanced around; his eyes landed on Rin and warmed. "Rin." He climbed out of the pool. "How many times do you breathe in the fifty?"

Rin didn't want to let it slide—the worry was eating him up inside. But the thought of upsetting Haru was worse, especially right before they were scheduled to race. So Rin rolled his shoulders and let it go for now. "Once," he said, unzipping the front of his warmup jacket and shrugging it off. "Around thirty to thirty-five meters."

Haru's eyes widened, water droplets rolling down the contours of his face. "You can go that long?"

"I wouldn't breathe at all if I could," Rin said as he stripped down to his leg skins and tossed his warmups aside. "Some of the guys I know in Sydney do that. But if you wait until you need to breathe, it's too late."

Haru looked away, his lips pursed—clearly miffed. "I breathe twice."

Rin pulled on his swim cap. "Now's not the time to try something different."

Haru glanced aside at him, frowning a little. "I know that."

Rin smiled. "Think you're fast enough to beat me, breathing twice?"

"Think?" That competitive spark lit in Haru's eyes. "I _know_ I am."

Rin's smile widened to a grin. "Show me, Haru." As he slipped on his goggles, Rin moved forward, pausing even with Haru's shoulder and lowering his voice to a tease. "You're not gonna let me win, right? Not like this morning…"

Haru inhaled, a blush scattering across his cheeks. He pulled his goggles down over his eyes and cleared his throat. "Mikoshiba! Time us."

They climbed onto the blocks in adjacent lanes—seven and eight.

"Didn't I already tell you two to knock it off?" Mikoshiba was standing behind the block of lane five in his speedo and unzipped warmup jacket while Momo swam laps. He was frowning, one hand propped on his hip. "Just do your normal warmups and get your asses upstairs!"

Rin snorted with amusement, winking at Haru as they both bent into starting position.

A mischievous glint answered him behind tinted goggles.

They both started counting under their breath, in unison: "Three…two…one… _go!_ "

-x-

Just before ten o'clock, Rin and Haru headed up to the waiting area; the men's 50m freestyle was the first event of the day. Haru was swimming in the third heat, Rin in the fourth, out of five. They sat side-by-side in folding chairs, in their warmups and swim caps, facing the screens with the announcer's voice making introductions over the speakers. Rin drew slow, measured breaths to clear his mind. The trick in the 50m, for him at least, was not to think about it, though that was damn hard when his fastest times in this event were in the low 23's and the Japanese qualifying time to beat was 21.87. But if he started to consider each facet of the race needing to be _perfect_ , from the reaction to the start signal, the force of the jump, the angle of the dive, the streamlined entry into the water—carving the smallest opening possible, stroke rates, where he'd take that one breath, and on and on… Someone like Ryugazaki could probably handle all of those variables and calculations and not overthink it. But Rin would get tense and worked up…one tiny mistake and he'd fixate. Then it would all be over.

Haru, on Rin's left, was perfectly serene as if that nonverbal exchange with Sousuke in the locker room had never happened. He sat against the backrest of his chair with his eyes closed, his arms loosely folded across the front of his jacket, his breaths not slow enough to indicate sleep, but he was still in some Zen, meditative state. _Probably thinking about the water._

Rin sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Water was like a sentient being to Haru. Anthropomorphize the stuff and Rin didn't doubt Haru would try to make love to it. He snorted at the absurdity of the thought, chuckling inwardly, but sobered as other images and feelings came to mind. …Like Haru falling asleep against his shoulder in the bath last night. If he closed his eyes, the memory was close at hand—Haru's weight against his back, tension slipping from their muscles as they both relaxed, the sound of soft, gentle breaths…

The announcer's voice came on, pulling him from his thoughts: " _Men's fifty meter freestyle preliminary, heat two_." The races were so brief that the next heat would take their places almost before the previous heat got out of the pool.

Rin opened his eyes as Haru got up, settling goggles into place and peeling off his navy-blue warmups with limber, easy movements. No hint of nerves or distractions…

"Haru." Rin paused as Haru glanced back at him. Wishing his friend 'good luck' would've been trivial and insulting. Nothing about these races had anything to do with _luck_. And he wouldn't be like Sousuke and tell Haru not to fuck it up out there. Instead, he settled back in his chair and folded his arms, grinning.

There was an answering spark in Haru's eyes behind tinted goggles—confident and electric. He turned away, joining the swimmers lining up for the third heat while the second heat was flying across the pool.

On the monitors, the eight swimmers in the second heat hit the wall, their times flashing onscreen momentarily—the fastest under twenty-three seconds, but well over the qualifying time. Then the screen listed the swimmers for the third heat, Haru's name listed by lane four.

Rin watched on the monitors as Haru and the others gathered by their starting blocks on the opposite end of the pool as usual. They'd swim left to right, just one length of the pool—no time to recover if you screwed anything up.

" _Men's fifty meter freestyle preliminary, heat three_."

Rin stood up, eyes glued to the screen as he shucked off his warmups. Haru readied himself by the starting block of his lane as the four-pulse whistle sounded. At the long whistle, he climbed onto the block—

Rin watched the ready signal and the dive—then his heat was lining up. He craned his neck to keep an eye on the monitor as the swimmers charged down their lanes while spectators and teammates cheered from the stands, foam churning in the water from the sprint. He saw Haru hit the wall at the finish and pop up, breathing hard, then Rin's heat was walking out. He glanced at the board, the pool deck cool and slick beneath his bare feet. A time of 22.76 wasn't bad at all, and well under anything Rin had ever clocked. But shaving off a full second between now at the final? In a race like this, there wasn't much to cut.

Rin stopped behind the block for lane four. On the opposite end of the pool, Haru climbed out with the others from his heat.

After a blast of music, the announcer came on again. " _Men's fifty meter freestyle preliminary, heat four_."

"Matsuoka-kun!" There were a lot more people calling his name this morning, many of those voices female.

But Rin shut it all out as he mounted the block at the long whistle and pressed his goggles into place. _Don't think about anything—just swim._ He managed to clear his mind of all but one thought, and that was because he looked down the length of the pool and saw Haru behind the starting block of the same lane, still breathing hard, goggles around his neck, hair dripping wet—and their eyes locked for a split second. _Without you, I have nothing to aim for, you know?_ That's what he'd told Haru in Australia. Now Haru was right here, showing him the path forward. Rin grinned and bent into position, the non-slip surface of the starting block rough beneath his hands and the balls of his feet.

The ready signal was given. Rin tensed, drawing breath— _Right behind you, Haru._ At the start signal, he dove, not letting himself fret about form or technique or any of those things. As he sliced into the water, his only thought was meeting Haru on the other end of the pool. Rin pulled hard, stroke after stroke, taking one breath after thirty meters like he'd practiced but otherwise not turning his head at all, not giving in to the temptation to see where his competitors were around him. He slapped his hand home for the finish and grabbed the edge of the pool, surfacing and sucking in air to impoverished lungs. Only then did he glance up at the board—

He'd finished in first place with a respectable time of 22.79—a personal best. Rin swam to the side of the pool with the others as the announcer was calling the fifth heat. It was funny. If he'd just swam that during practice in Australia, knowing the time to beat, he would've been pissed at himself, second-guessing his decision to take that one breath in this race. Here and now, though… He climbed out of the pool and stripped off his cap and goggles, following the rest of his heat back to the waiting area. He felt good—challenged but not frustrated, eager for more…and the feeling only got better when he saw Haru waiting for him.

Rin was still catching his breath as they embraced—a quick crush of damp skin and limbs, though the arm Haru curled around his waist was new—then they drew apart, eyes going to the overall ranking on the screen as the fifth heat concluded. Two swimmers from a powerhouse swimming school in Osaka finished in the 22.50's, bumping Haru and Rin to the third and fourth spots at the end of the prelims. He should've been upset, but for whatever reason, he wasn't. A lot could change with two more races to go—semi-finals tonight and finals tomorrow. The top two spots in this event were still up for grabs.

They toweled off and donned their warmups.

"I'll watch from upstairs," Haru said as his zipped up his jacket and headed for the exit.

Rin waved. "Later." He grabbed a water bottle and sat off to the side as the women's 50m freestyle heats cycled through—four of them. Then he'd be swimming in the third heat (of six) in the men's 100m butterfly.

The other butterfly swimmers began to congregate, Kawamura and Hayashida included. Rin kept to himself. Unlike yesterday's 200m butterfly, the 100m was a race where the clock mattered more than the competition. His best times in this event were just under fifty-three seconds; to qualify to swim this in Rio, he'd have to beat 51.64. One of those best times had been racing Sousuke back at Samezuka—when Sousuke wanted to swim butterfly in the medley relay senior year. _You beat me that night_. Rin's left hand curled against his knee. _You should be swimming this with me._

Once the women's 50m heats were complete, the announcer came on: " _Next up, program fifty-seven. Men's one hundred meter butterfly, preliminary heats."_

Rin fitted his cap over his damp hair and got ready. When his heat was called, he followed the others out and took the fourth lane. Despite the cheering—much of it for him, he kept his focus on the water, shutting out all distractions as he climbed up onto the block…

At the conclusion of all six heats, he was in first place with a time of 52.56. Kawamura, in the sixth heat, had finished second overall at 52.71.

Rin was glad to have won and looked forward to improving his time in tonight's semi-finals, but he didn't have the same exhilarating feeling as the 50m free earlier. He felt subdued, like he couldn't really be happy.

The last race of the morning was the men's 1500m free. Rin found a spot that was out of the way and watched from downstairs, finishing off his bottle of water. Mikoshiba did pretty well in the fifth heat, making Sunday's final.

Afterwards, in the locker room, Rin rinsed off in the shower, then dried off and donned his warmups, plus a T-shirt. He headed for the exit, clutching his phone in one hand—

Sousuke was waiting in the hall outside, leaning against the wall with his arms folded over his designer T-shirt and hoodie. "Hey."

Rin exhaled as the downcast feeling returned enforce, not that it had really left in the first place. "Hey." He pressed his lips. "You waiting for me? Or Kawamura?"

"You." Sousuke straightened, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Thought you might be ready to hear me out." He paused, his green eyes unreadable. "If not, I'll—"

"Yeah, we can talk." Rin pushed damp strands of hair back from his face. "Let's—" His phone vibrated in his hand. Rin glanced at it. "Gimme a sec." He turned away, answering the call. "Hey, Makoto."

" _Hey, congrats! We're all up here if you want to get lunch. Haru and his parents are here, too._ "

"Thanks, I'm gonna grab something with Sousuke though," he said, trying to keep the weirdness out of his voice. "Tell everyone I'll catch up with you guys later tonight, OK? Haru mentioned dinner—I was planning on that."

" _Oh, OK. Sure_ ," Makoto said. " _We'll see you later then. Have a good time_."

"Thanks. You too." He ended the call and shoved the phone into his pocket. "Sousuke, what do you want to eat?"

"I know a good place nearby," Sousuke said, joining him.

-x-

They went to a western-style café and ordered sandwiches. He wasn't sick of Haru's _saba_ quite yet, but it was nice to have something else after two straight meals centered around fish. Undoubtedly, whatever restaurant Haru's parents wanted to visit tonight would have _saba_ on the menu. While they waited for their food to arrive, Rin sipped juice. Seated across from him in the booth, Sousuke stared down into a porcelain mug of black coffee.

"Rin. Sorry about what I said." Sousuke looked up and waited, his eyes and expression guarded.

Rin fought a sigh, knowing his friend better than that. Translation: _I'm sorry what I said hurt you_. Sousuke wasn't taking any of it back—he'd meant every word. …Which sucked, but Rin preferred it to a cheap apology just to placate him. "You're wrong about Haru."

Sousuke sat back against the cushioned booth, shrugging. "OK. If you say so."

" _Tch._ " Rin folded his arms on top of the table and lowered his voice. "Seriously, what's going on? Why are you being such a dick all of a sudden?"

Sousuke's eyes darkened. "I don't want anyone getting in your way."

 _Just like high school._ Rin drew a breath, flicking his eyes towards the ceiling. "I don't need to be fucking coddled, you know."

Sousuke's mouth tightened. "That's not what this is, Rin."

"Right, you're just—" He stopped himself because the words were flying and he wasn't thinking about them first. No point making things worse. He rubbed his fingers across his brow and exhaled. _We're never going to get anywhere with this, anyway._ "Whatever. Let's just drop it." Rin looked away, that hollow feeling from the butterfly still in his chest. "Haru's not my problem," he muttered.

"Kawamura's strength and stamina's pretty much unmatched, but he can't sprint like you can," Sousuke said. "His shoulder gives him trouble sometimes."

That wasn't what Rin was getting at, but he bided his time, glancing at his best friend sidelong. "You met at Todai?"

Sousuke shook his head and lifted his mug. "High school here in Tokyo, before he headed to the US and I came to Samezuka." He sipped the steaming liquid. "We train together pretty regularly. I help him with his shoulder." Sousuke returned the mug to its saucer with a _clink_. "He'll keep you sharp. I wouldn't worry about him like that."

"I'm not worried about Kawamura." Rin inhaled, feeling himself get a little emotional and trying to fight it.

"…Rin?" Sousuke's brow creased with confusion.

He leaned back, forcing one hand into his hair and tugging lightly. "That was your race today. You should've been there with me."

His friend's face smoothed.

Rin sniffed hard. "I said, didn't I? That you shouldn't fucking give up. So why did you?"

Sousuke glanced away, silent for several moments.

The waiter picked that time to arrive with their plates, as Rin was glaring across the table. The kid unloaded the tray quickly and left.

Rin stared down at the sandwich in front of him, trying to decide if he still had an appetite or not. He needed to eat either way, but…

"It got worse, Rin," Sousuke said quietly.

Rin looked up, finding a guilty expression on his friend's face.

"I didn't want to tell you." Sousuke sat back, withdrawing his hands from the table. "I joined the Todai team right away, working with the best physical trainers I could. But no matter what I tried…"

Rin inhaled thickly. "Sousuke…"

"I didn't want to upset you, worry you—"

"I'm not that damn fragile!"

Sousuke smiled faintly. "Says the guy who's trying not to cry."

 _I'm not fucking crying._ Rin quickly swiped his sleeve across his eyes and lowered his gaze to his food, picking up his sandwich with both hands. He took a large bite, chewed a few times, and swallowed hard. He chased that mouthful with a swig of juice from his glass. "Stop protecting me already. I don't need it. Friends are supposed to tell each other these things. I'm not supposed to...find out. Other ways." He frowned and took another bite.

Sousuke was watching him. "I'll…try, Rin," he said, and finally lifted his sandwich.

-x-

They walked back to the stadium together, skirting the crowds of various school groups and spectators milling about. Rin didn't see Haru and Makoto. "Haru's parents are in town," he said, walking with his hands shoved into his pockets. "We're all going out to dinner after tonight. He said you could come if you want." Rin kept his face forward, but watched his friend closely out of the corner of his eye.

"Thanks, but I already made plans with the Todai team," Sousuke said, not reacting in the slightest.

 _Smooth,_ Rin thought. But then, the guy was good at hiding things.

"You staying tonight?"

"Yeah," Rin said, not about to mention that he'd spent the night at Haru's place.

"You've still got the key, right?" Sousuke tucked his hands into the pockets of his fancy hoodie. "I won't be back late, but just in case."

"Yeah, I'm good."

They climbed the concrete steps at the base of the stadium and headed inside, parting ways soon after. Sousuke headed to the stands; Rin went down below. He felt better but not great as he headed for the locker room. _Whatever_. He needed to get his head back in the game for his semi-final races tonight.

After stripping down and grabbing his swim cap and goggles, Rin headed for the warmup pool. He pushed through the double doors into the warm, chlorinated room, hoping Haru would be there…

His friend and rival was perched on the starting block of lane six, already damp in his Koutei jammers and cap with his goggles on. Haru was staring intently down the lane, as the swimmer made the turn at the far end of the pool and started back. Mikoshiba was behind the block in his navy blue speedo, breathing a little hard, along with another guy in Koutei leg skins, who must've swam the breaststroke leg. Someone else was currently swimming butterfly.

Mikoshiba noticed him as he headed over. "Matsuoka, good to see you!" The former Samezuka captain grinned brightly, his voice as energetic as this morning, if not more so. He clutched his goggles and cap in one hand.

 _Runs in the family. I don't think I want to meet your sister._ "Hey," Rin said. "Congrats on your race earlier."

"Thanks. You too! Nice job on the fly, especially. Your training's really showing."

"…Thanks." Rin squinted down the lane at the swimmer approaching Haru. "Who's swimming…" His eyes widened when he realized it was a girl swimming the butterfly leg.

"That's right! You probably haven't met yet, have you?" Mikoshiba turned back towards the pool. "I'll introduce you. Takara-kun—"

Haru started his dive as the girl thrust her hands towards the wall of the pool, his feet leaving the block a _sliver_ of time after she touched. He arced over her and slipped into the water, barely making a splash. That exchange was well practiced—Rin couldn't help noticing.

The girl climbed out of the pool, water sluicing off her navy blue Koutei kneeskins. She pulled her goggles down to rest at her throat, snagging a towel to dry off her face, leaving her swim cap in place. The girl was only a couple of inches shorter than Rin, slim and muscular. "Seijuurou…" She joined them, her green eyes flicking over him and lighting with recognition. "Ah, the infamous Matsuoka." She had to be wearing some kind of crazy waterproof mascara to have lashes like that. Lowering the towel, she propped that hand on her hip and smiled at him. "Sakamoto Takara. Third year. My events are the four hundred and two hundred individual medleys, and the eight hundred free."

Rin cocked a brow, unimpressed and unamused. "Matsuoka Rin. Infamous, apparently." To be fair, he should try not to be an ass. They were going to be stuck on the same team together going forward…

Finished with his leg as anchor, Haru climbed out of the pool and came over quietly, lifting his goggles to rest on his forehead. He stopped between Takara on his left and Rin on his right.

Takara's grin broadened, flashing teeth. "I've heard a lot from these two," she said, gesturing with a flip of her towel, including both Mikoshiba and…Haru in that statement.

Rin's face smoothed a little, his interest in civility waning quickly.

Takara's expression turned sly. She ran her gaze over him, from his feet to the top of his head, sizing him up— She looked him square in the face when she was done. "I think we'll be rivals."

"Hm? For what?"

"Haruka's heart." Takara flashed another teeth-baring grin.

Rin blinked. "Huh?"

Mikoshiba threw back his head and laughed. "Hell of a first impression, Takara-kun."

Haru slipped his goggles over his eyes and walked away. There was a splash as he dove into the water from the block on lane six.

Takara smothered her own amusement with a cough. "Too easy. Sorry, I couldn't help it." She gathered herself and smiled. "All joking aside, I'm looking forward to swimming with you, Matsuoka." Then she moved off. She chucked her towel to the side of the pool and put her goggles back on, climbing onto the block of the same lane—number six. "Haruka, I was just kidding…" She dove in.

Rin's fingers tightened around the goggles and cap he held. _What the…_

Next to him, Mikoshiba finally got his laughter under control and folded his arms. "She's great, isn't she? Horrible sense of humor."

In the pool, Takara was swimming freestyle, gaining ground on Haru's unhurried strokes.

"Takara-kun can swim anything, but endurance is her specialty. She'll go all night if you let her."

 _Please tell me we're still talking about swimming_. Rin fought the urge to grimace. He watched, the muscles along his spine tensing, as Takara caught up with Haru at the opposite end of the pool.

Both surfaced, bobbing in the water briefly and hanging on to the side of the pool. It was clear Takara was saying something, but Rin was too far away to hear what. Haru exhaled, gave some one- or two-word reply, then slipped back underwater. Takara was smiling, though, as she ducked into the next lane over and continued her warmups in lane five.

Rin narrowed his eyes. _Whatever. I kissed him this morning, so—_ (Never mind that it basically amounted to a dare and…) He caught himself with a start. _Fuck, did I really just think that?_ Why did _everything_ have to be a competition? Rin scowled at his own thoughts and pulled on his goggles, heading for lane seven.

He worked out his irritation in hard pulls, subduing the water to his will. After half a lap, he found Haru pacing him in the adjacent lane. As they curved into the turn in unison and raced back the other way, Rin finally started to relax.

-x-

In the semi-finals for the 50m free that evening, Rin and Haru closed in on the Osaka guys, with the first heat being the faster of the two. From lane five, Rin clocked in at 22.39, just behind the Osaka swimmer in lane four with a time of 22.35. Haru, in the second heat, went 22.41, beating the prelim's first place finisher who came in at 22.47.

From the waiting area, Rin watched Kawamura in the first of the two semi-final heats for the 100m butterfly. If he looked close enough, he could tell the Todai swimmer was favoring his right shoulder just a little—probably holding back, too. It would be interesting to see what Kawamura pulled out for the finals Sunday night. When it was his turn, Rin headed out for the second heat and took his place at lane four. Sousuke was watching from somewhere in the stands—watching the race he should've been swimming. Rin shoved aside the turmoil he felt, blanking his mind and focusing on the clock as he lowered his goggles into place and snapped the strap. _Wish I could say I'd swim this for the both of us, but that's not how it fucking works._

At the start signal, he dove in and kicked hard, surfacing and attacking the water as he swam the length of the pool. He knew, at the turn, that he was beating his own best time—could feel it in the hum of his muscles, the glide of his body through the water, the way the rest of the competition fell away behind him… Rin slapped the wall at a time of 52.27; no one else was even close. But there was no reveling in the victory. It just felt hollow somehow.

He climbed out of the pool, ignoring the cheering aimed his way. Before heading to the locker room, he stopped by the warmup pool, swimming a couple laps of free to cool down.

He knew he needed to let it go—Sousuke knew best about his own shoulder. If it wasn't going to work, it wasn't going to work. But, _fuck_ , letting dreams die sucked. Rin hoisted himself out of the cool water and raked off his cap and goggles, breathing hard. A life without dreams—he didn't want to think about it. Giving up on dreams was how his dad ended up on a fishing boat that capsized in the ocean during a summer storm—a meaningless death for a man who could've been legendary.

Rin rinsed off in the showers as the women's 800m freestyle final got underway. He dressed and headed upstairs into the stands.

Everyone was watching the race below and cheering the women on—everyone except Haru. Those sea-blue eyes were intent upon Rin, probing, as Rin shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way over to the Iwatobi-Samezuka group. Sousuke was not with them. Haru was sitting in the front row beside his parents, next to his mother, with Makoto on the other side of Haru's dad.

Rin wordlessly met Haru's gaze, then looked away. The guy who only cared about being free wouldn't get upset over broken dreams. It was the one thing he and Haru would never really agree on.

Gou, clad in a blue and white sweatshirt, her yellow Iwatobi T-shirt, and skinny jeans, was sitting in the second row, next to Nitori. She smiled brightly when she noticed him and waved. "Onii-chan!"

Her outburst caught the attention of Haru's parents. Haru's mom looked up at him and smiled, waves of black hair framing her face; she wore a powder blue blouse and cream-colored ankle-length pants. "Rin, congratulations."

Rin rubbed the back of his neck and smiled. "Thanks."

"Rin, it's good to see you again," Haru's father said. The raven-haired man smiled gently, wearing a striped button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark gray slacks. "Great job out there."

"Thank you." Rin dipped his head.

Pleasantries completed, Rin stepped into the second row, where Gou and Nitori had scooted aside to make room for him behind Haru. Rin sat down, shoving his gear bag under his seat.

"Congratulations, Senpai!" Nitori said, his teal eyes beaming with pride.

Rin exhaled. "Ai, you can do the math, right?"

Nitori inhaled and Rin could see the reactionary apology rising in his kouhai's face…but Nitori frowned. "Just because you didn't make the time yet doesn't mean you can't be happy about winning. And it doesn't mean I can't congratulate you." The words came out with conviction and force, but the nervous blush in Nitori's cheeks ruined the effect a little.

Rin cocked a brow and grinned. Nitori, talking back to him? "Well, aren't you being sassy tonight."

Horror flushed Nitori's face bright red. "Eh?"

Rin chuckled. "Where's Sousuke?"

Nitori cleared his throat and looked out across the pool. "He was here earlier, but he's over with the Todai group now."

Of course he was. Rin glanced over to the stands left of where the Koutei group was sitting. He easily picked out Sousuke's green hoodie from amidst the sea of blue and yellow warmups; his friend was talking with a couple of the athletes nearby. Rin fought the urge to sigh.

Down below, the first place swimmer in the women's 800m free turned at the 400m mark, followed by two others who were fairly close. The remaining swimmers were lengths behind. The board flashed with the split times, showing Takara in the lead in lane four, at 4:18.11.

The cheers from the Koutei stands grew louder.

"She's really something," Haru's dad said.

"She could win, don't you think?" Haru's mom said. "Haruka, did you invite Takara-chan to dinner?"

Rin drew an involuntary breath.

"No," Haru said. "Too much effort."

"Taka…chan?" Nagisa said from Haru's right side, looking over with a curious, suspicious expression.

Haru hunched forward a little, probably frowning.

"Oh, we got to see her a couple times at swim meets last summer," Haru's mother said. "She's such a sweet girl."

 _Wow, so not the word I'd use._ Rin pressed his lips into a line.

"You'll be spending a lot of time with her on the Olympic team. Don't you want to get to know your teammates?"

Haru hunched more, like a turtle trying to withdraw into its shell. "No. Too annoying."

His mother sighed. "Haruka…" She looked at Haru's father, but he just smiled back and shrugged lightly.

"Taka-chan…" Nagisa said again, as if testing the syllables on his tongue. Then he grinned mischievously and leaned close to Haru. "Ne, Haru-chan—"

" _Nagisa!_ " Rei, beside Nagisa, tugged on the blond's arm. "Can't you see this is embarrassing Haruka-senpai?"

 _Nice job helping, Rei_ , Rin thought, exhaling and hoping that would be the end of it.

"Awww." Nagisa pouted. "But I wanna meet Taka-chan, too."

Haru got to his feet, apparently done with the conversation, and started heading for the stairs.

"Haru-chan—" Nagisa said.

"Ah, Haruka-senpai…" Rei looked guilty.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." Haru shoved his hands into the pockets of his navy blue warmup jacket and disappeared past the edge of the seats.

 _Haru_ … Rin debated going after him—

But Makoto beat him to it. "Haru—" In a rush, Makoto was on his feet, a blur of green-white plaid and gray denim, his footsteps echoing as he trailed Haru down the concrete steps.

Just like grade school. Rin sat back in his seat. Makoto running after Haru, the two of them communicating with a glance when everyone else needed words… Yeah, nothing had changed there. Rin tried to stop thinking about it. He and Sousuke had never been that close. At least, he'd never been able to read Sousuke like that.

Nagisa frowned, curling forward in his faded athletic jacket. "I didn't mean to…"

Rei sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Nagisa-kun, you should really—"

"It was _both_ of you guys," Gou said, her breath coming out in a huff.

The two hung their heads.

Haru's mother just looked worried.

"He'll be fine, dear," Haru's father said, patting her knee. "Just watch the race."

At the end of sixteen laps, Takara took first place and qualified in the event. The second and third place swimmers were seconds after her and did not make it under the time to beat. It was during the cheering, interviews, and podium ceremony that Haru and Makoto came back. Haru looked normal again, taking his seat quietly. Makoto was smiling, obviously relieved.

Rin wondered what Makoto had said or done to talk Haru down without water being involved. …Or maybe Makoto was like water to Haru. Rin found he didn't like that thought, for whatever reason.

Once the 800m athletes had cleared the pool deck after their photo op, the announcer came on again: " _Next up, program sixty five. Men's two hundred meter backstroke, final._ "

Gou inhaled hard and sat forward in her seat, her eyes wide and eager.

Rin folded his arms across his chest as he eyed his sister, unable to stop a faint growling noise from coming from the back of his throat.

"…Senpai?" Nitori asked.

"Nothing."

The athletes began walking out when their names were called by lane. The crowds answered with loud cheers.

" _Lane two, Mikoshiba Seijuurou, Koutei University_."

Mikoshiba, in his navy-blue Koutei warmups—swim cap and goggles on—bowed beneath the archway of shifting, colored lights, and walked out waving. He was grinning, every bit the confident captain Rin remembered from high school.

The older members of the Samezuka swim team hollered at the top of their lungs. "Captain Mikoshiba!" "Mikoshiba-senpai!" They cheered even louder than the Koutei team.

Nagisa leaned over the rail with his hands cupped around his mouth. "Sei-chan!"

Mikoshiba stopped behind the block at lane two and turned, shedding his jacket with his back to the cameras. Judging by the feminine squeals that rose from the crowd, Rin had to wonder if the guy was doing it on purpose.

Beside Rin, Gou coughed and sputtered, as if choking on her own drool.

" _Oi_ , Gou—" Rin thumped her lightly on the back.

She waved him off, her face going bright red. "I'm…I'm fine," she said, her voice hoarse.

Rin rolled his eyes. Down below, another round of squealing followed Mikoshiba stripping down to his speedo.

Two more swimmers were announced. Then…

" _Lane five, Mikoshiba Momotarou, Samezuka Academy_."

The camera was on Momo's face as he stood in the archway, duplicated on the view screens high on the walls. The little otter boy was quivering in his black and gray Samezuka warmups, obviously trying not to grin. He bowed quickly and walked out—

"Momo-kun!" "Momo-senpai!" "Momo- _chan!_ "

Momo lost it about halfway down the pool, grinning and bounding the rest of the way as a couple officials chased him down for running. They corralled him near the end of the pool. Momo bowed in a sheepish apology and walked behind the blocks.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba was glaring from behind the block on lane two.

Momo was still grinning. He rubbed the back of his neck, then yanked off his warmups behind lane five.

The rest of the swimmers headed out and got ready. Then the long whistle sent all eight jumping into the pool.

"Sei-chan! Momo-chan! Fight-o!" Nagisa waved vigorously.

Haru leaned back in his seat, almost hitting Rin's knees, and glanced up. "Rin."

Grinning at his friend, Rin folded his arms. "My money's on Momo, but I bet Mikoshiba makes it too."

Haru's eyes smiled. "Mine too. That's no fun."

Rin playfully nudged Haru's shoulder with one of his knees as Haru turned his attention forward again.

At the ready signal, the swimmers pulled themselves up and tensed on the starting holds… At the starting beep, they arced backwards into the clear water, submerging. Just shy of fifteen meters, they surfaced, their arms rotating in rapid strokes.

The swimmer in the sixth lane shot out to an early lead and kept it through the first 100m; Momo, in lane five, was right behind him. By the end of the third lap, Momo had pulled ahead. But coming out of the turn into the final 50m, Mikoshiba popped up in lane two, neck-in-neck with his brother, the two of them flying towards the end of the pool with the crowds yelling— The next closest swimmer was half a body-length behind in lane four. It was clear the Mikoshiba brothers had the race. In the final seconds, Rin sat forward in his seat, straining to watch the finish—

The brothers slapped the wall within _hundredths_ of a second of each other, both of their times qualifying for Rio. Momo, in lane five, had won.

The boy slid otter-like over the lane ropes. "Nii-chan!"

"Momotarou!" The brothers collided in lane two—a messy ball of laughter and splashing as they embraced. Cameramen raced in to film it all.

Rin and Haru shared a glance for being right.

When the swimmers eventually climbed out of the pool, the Mikoshiba brothers were ushered over to the sponsorship wall together. On the view screen, they stood there beaming, arms slung across each other's shoulders, water rolling down their heaving chests.

Gou fanned herself with her program.

" _Oi_." Rin nudged her with an elbow.

She ignored him.

The interviewer was female, speaking off camera. " _Mikoshiba Seijuurou-kun, Mikoshiba Momotarou-kun, congratulations! How does it feel to go one-two_ and _qualify for Rio in the same event?_ " The reporter held out the microphone.

" _It feels really great!_ " the brothers answered in unison, then paused and looked at each other in surprise.

" _Tch_." Rin rolled his eyes, leaning back in his seat. "They oughta join the synchro team," he muttered.

Beside him, Gou giggled.

" _The two of you are three years apart and both attended Samezuka Academy_ ," the interviewer said. " _It's not a stretch to say that the loudest support you got tonight was from your peers_ —"

On cue, a handful of the Samezuka swimmers called out. "Captain Mikoshiba!" "Momo-senpai!"

Mikoshiba pumped a fist into the air in answer while Momo just grinned sheepishly, wiggling a little.

The reporter cleared her throat. " _Indeed, no stretch at all! Anything you'd like to say to them?_ "

Mikoshiba leaned towards the offered microphone. " _You guys are the best! Swim hard and train hard and in four years, I expect to see you all here—in the pool this time—for Tokyo 2020!_ "

A deafening cheer thundered from the Samezuka group. "Captain Mikoshiba!"

Rin winced, covering his left ear.

Onscreen, Momo pouted. " _Aww, Nii-chan, I was gonna say that_."

" _No you weren't, you little_ —" Mikoshiba wrapped Momo in a headlock.

The interviewer withdrew the microphone quickly. " _Ah… Well, gentlemen, any final thoughts or shout-outs?_ "

The brothers blinked, then grinned at each other and leaned in towards the camera—

" _Gou-kun!(-san!)—I love you!_ "

Rin's brow twitched. _You guys…_

All surrounding eyes fastened on his sister, who'd turned bright pink.

The reporter chuckled. " _Well, obviously a lucky individual. Thank you, Seijuurou-kun, Momotarou-kun, and good luck_."

Gou buried her face in her hands and wailed. "They'll think I'm a boy! The whole country's gonna think I'm a boy!"

" _That's_ what you're worried about?" Rin looked at her. "Mom's watching this, you know."

She drew a sharp breath and withered into her seat.

Down below, the Mikoshiba brothers—finally back in their warmups—were posing for their podium pictures with the third place finisher. It started with the three of them standing there normally, until Momo climbed onto his brother's back and started waving his bouquet in the air, grinning and laughing. The officials rushed forward again, waving their hands frantically until he settled down.

Haru leaned back again, resting against Rin's knees this time, his brows disappearing beneath damp sections of black hair. "Five months of this, huh?"

Rin sat forward, his forearms draped across his legs. He lowered his voice. "What? Like you've never had an energetic teammate before."

"There're _two_ of them."

Rin chuckled.

"Awww." Nagisa pouted at Haru's side. "You're gonna get to spend so much time with Momo-chan and Sei-chan. Ne, Rei-chan." Nagisa tugged on the sleeve of Rei's red and navy blue polo shirt. "Let's transfer to a school in Tokyo."

Rei sighed. "Nagisa-kun, we haven't even started one day of school yet."

Nagisa made a soft, whining noise.

The announcer came on: " _Program sixty-six. Women's two hundred meter breaststroke_."

Haru's shoulders shifted against Rin's knees as he exhaled. He turned his head forward but otherwise stayed sitting the way he was, using Rin's folded arms as a headrest.

Rin smiled and didn't move either.

-x-

The restaurant Haru's parents had picked was one subway stop and a short walk from the stadium. It was a clear night for once and pleasantly warm with a light breeze. With his gear bag slung over his shoulder, Rin followed the Iwatobi alums into the street level entrance of the building, which was adjacent to a small shrine. The interior was dim with the faint smell of fresh greenery and soft _shamisen_ music mixing with the sound of falling water—

Rin's eyes widened at the sight of a thin waterfall cascading into a koi pond just behind the host's podium. A narrow path led deeper into the restaurant, bridging the pond of dark, sparkling water, which was full of bright orange, red, and white fish darting beneath broad lily pads. While Haru's parents spoke with the hostess—a woman in a fuchsia _yukata_ , Haru was standing right up against the railing of the pond, his eyes fixed on the water. The gear bag hanging across his body shifted slightly as one of Haru's hands crept towards the zipper of his warmup jacket.

 _Like you're being subtle at all, Haru._ Rin moved forward—

Makoto appeared at Haru's side, smiling gently. "Haru…"

Haru frowned and dropped his hand, turning away from the rail, though Rin could tell Haru was still watching the water from the corner of both eyes. If they managed the entire evening without getting kicked out of the place, it would be miraculous.

On the other side of the entryway, Nagisa had his face and hands pressed to the glass of an aquarium full of live fish waiting to be ordered and eaten. "Rei-chan, don't they look delicious?"

Rei had turned the other way, his hand over his mouth, looking a little green.

"…Onii-chan?"

Rin looked down at his sister.

She stood close to his side, smiling up at him with her hands clasped behind her back, obviously wanting something. "You don't have to be at the pool all day tomorrow, right?"

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, stretching sore shoulder muscles. "Nah. Finals aren't until the afternoon." All the prelims and semi-finals were done.

"So I can see you before I have to leave, right?" she asked, tilting her head, crimson bangs falling across her forehead.

"Yeah." He smiled as he dropped his hand. "That'll work."

Her face brightened to beaming. "Yay! Onii-chan!" She threw her arms around his waist, hugging tightly.

"Oi! Gou—" He tried to delicately pry her off in the close quarters, surprised that it took a bit of effort on his part, however slight. The girl actually had some strength in her arms. "Hey, are you working out?"

Gou drew back, her eyes widening. She blushed and looked away. "No…"

Rin rolled his eyes. "Dunno why you'd be embarrassed about that."

"I'm not." She frowned. "I'm just… You noticed."

He lifted a brow, peering down at her. "Or you don't want me to know _who_ you're working out with?"

Gou flushed red. "Hana-chan. It's just Hana-chan!"

 _Right._ Rin shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned in, watching his sister squirm.

"Ahhhh…" She shied away, wincing. "Oh, look, our table must be ready, so—" Gou escaped to the other side of Nagisa and Rei as the hostess led them into the restaurant.

Winding, narrow corridors branched off into individual rooms for groups behind sliding doors. There was a small rack for footwear just outside in the hall. Rin slipped off his shoes and stepped up into the alcove in his socks, behind the others.

There was a long table with places set for eight, cushions for seats, and a sunken floor for their legs underneath. The wooden panels lining the room were painted with cranes and other waterfowl; in the corner there was a small water feature—water babbling softly over dark rocks. Haru's parents looked quite pleased with the décor, while Haru headed straight for the corner—

Smiling sweetly, Makoto caught the strap of Haru's gear bag. "Haru-chan. Sit over here, OK?" Green eyes flicked in Rin's direction—a silent plea for assistance.

Rin moved in, casually dropping a hand on Haru's shoulder.

Betrayal flashed in Haru's eyes, a quiet sound of frustration issuing from his throat as they drew him away.

In the end, Haru was on Rin's left, sandwiched between him and Makoto, safely on the opposite side of the room. Gou sat on Rin's right, with Nagisa and Rei across from them.

While everyone else opened menus, Haru stared at the water feature.

"You have a problem," Rin said, glancing sidelong at his friend.

Haru frowned. "I do not."

"You were in the water all day, but you still…"

Haru sighed, as if Rin were missing something obvious. "That was different water, Rin."

Rin snorted. " _Tch_. Here I thought we had the same dream, but it's really just the water you're after, isn't it? The water you haven't experienced yet."

Haru sniffed. "That's right. There's a lot of water out there, you know."

He grinned, leaning towards Haru and lowering his voice. "I have to take you somewhere. At Bondi Beach there's a club right on the shore, with a huge outdoor pool. The waves crash over the rocks, into the pool—"

Haru's eyes grew wide and shimmery.

"It's almost like you're swimming in the pool and in the ocean at the same time—"

"Rin." Haru grabbed his arm, fingers digging into his bicep. "Let's go. After Rio, let's—"

Rin chuckled. "It'll be too cold in August. Remember, summer there doesn't start until December."

Haru inhaled slowly, his brow furrowing just slightly—obviously deep in thought, grip loosening a little… Then those azure eyes brightened with excitement and fastened on Rin, Haru's hand tightening around his arm. "Christmas, then. For Christmas, we can—"

"Yeah," Rin said, eager and trying not to drown in that look. Haru was so damn adorable when he really wanted something. "I'll—"

Makoto cleared his throat lightly.

Rin blinked, realizing too late that they had an audience. He straightened, his face warming as Haru's hand fell away.

Makoto had a warm, if pained, expression his face. Haru's parents were smiling at them politely from the other side of the table, which made Rin want to go die under a rock. Gou was hiding behind her menu, except for her obvious peeking over the top of it. But Nagisa, damnit. Whatever the blond was whispering to Rei behind his hand had Rei turning as red as a tomato.

"…Do you boys know what you want to order?" Haru's dad asked.

" _Saba shioyaki_ ," Haru said in his normal voice, unflappable as usual.

Rin hastily dropped his gaze to his menu, trying to ignore the heat climbing up his throat.

-x-

Towards the end of dinner, Rin excused himself briefly to use the restroom. He closed the sliding panel behind him, muffling the sound of Nagisa's animated retelling of Rei's first attempt at swimming for about the fiftieth time—complete with pantomiming at poor Rei's expense.

Slipping on his shoes, Rin shoved his hands into his pockets and wandered deeper into the restaurant, guessing he'd find the restroom eventually. He passed a handful of other athletes on the way—it seemed the restaurant was popular with several of the schools and clubs he'd spent the week competing against. It was a nicer place, but for many of the athletes—with all the prelims and semi's done—this was their night to celebrate at the end of a grueling week. Compared to the hundreds of athletes who'd competed, only a couple dozen would swim in event finals Sunday afternoon.

At one point, he ducked beneath a curtain into fresh night air—a little walkway overlooking the shrine next door. But after a few steps, he quickly decided that couldn't be right and headed back the other way. He finally found the restroom minutes later—because he wasn't going to _ask_ ; obviously he could figure it out—it wasn't _that_ hard.

After washing up, he stepped out into the corridor again and exhaled. It would've killed them to put up signs, huh? He started back the other way, trying to remember how many turns he'd taken and what pattern had been on the walls near their room… At least he _had_ a sense of direction. Which was more than he could say for—

A familiar, frustrated sigh reached Rin's ears, just as he was passing the curtains that led to the walkway outside.

Rin poked his head out, startled. "Sousuke?"

The larger man was leaning against the wooden rail of the walkway, his frame lit by the lanterns that hung from the eaves, light flashing off the zipper of his designer hoodie. Sousuke straightened, his eyes widening with surprise before he frowned, clearly confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Me?" Rin joined him out on the walkway. "That's my line." He pushed one hand through his hair. "The Todai group's here? I guess I never said where we were going. I didn't know."

"…Same," Sousuke said, exhaling and propping one hip against the rail.

Rin peered at his friend, smiling. "…You can't find your way back, can you?"

Sousuke frowned. He inhaled like he'd retort…but the breath came out in a resigned puff of air.

Rin chuckled. He leaned his elbows against the rail at Sousuke's side, looking out over the small shrine, the grounds bathed in glows of white lantern light.

"You really kicked ass in the fly tonight, Rin."

The mirth drained from him with those quiet words. Rin fought to stay above it all, rather than drown in the melancholy he'd felt before.

"In both races, really. You've only got a half second to go in the free."

Rin exhaled roughly. "Yeah. That's a lot, though."

Sousuke turned towards the rail, mirroring Rin's posture. "You considering not breathing?"

He shook his head. "I've tried before and my times are worse. I run out of steam." Rin shrugged. "My level's just not that high yet."

"You'll get there," Sousuke said, a faint, confident smile curving his mouth. "Even if you weren't training with the best in the country, you'd do it."

"Yeah…" Rin's nose crinkled as he, unwillingly, thought of the warmup pool that afternoon.

"Rin?"

Rin rested his chin in the palm of his hand, a breeze sifting through the strands of his hair. "I met Sakamoto today."

Sousuke turned, leaning his back against the rail with his elbows perched on top of the smooth wood, to either side of his body. "Takara?"

 _Fuck, how does everyone already know her?_ "You've met?" He flicked his eyes in Sousuke's direction.

"Sure. There've been a couple mixers we all went to." Sousuke smiled almost fondly. "Don't get in her way. She'll ruin you to get what she wants."

Rin inhaled, straightening and dropping his hand. "She was joking about having a thing for Haru."

Sousuke made a humming sound. "Yeah, that's been going on for a while."

Rin's eyes widened. Then, she _wasn't_ kidding? He exhaled in a huff. "But Haru…" Makoto said he wasn't…

"A lot can happen in a year, Rin." Sousuke shrugged. "Especially in college. Things are different."

He didn't want to think about it. He'd spent the year focused on training, not—

"It's not high school anymore," Sousuke said. "Even Tachibana's dated a couple of girls, when I always thought he and Nanase…" His face smoothed as he looked away. "Well, but everyone knows that Nanase—"

Rin's mind went blank. He stared at Sousuke, not hearing another word the guy said. " _What_ did you say about Makoto and Haru?" His voice came out sharper than it should've.

Sousuke met his gaze and smirked, but there wasn't much amusement in that expression. "Well, maybe not _everyone_." He rolled his shoulders as he straightened off the rail, facing Rin. "Ask them if you want. But really, Rin? You're gonna let stuff like this distract you when you're headed to Rio?"

Rin snorted. "Of course not. Like I care about who's dating or screwing who. I'm never gonna do that. Fall in love and give up my dream for someone else. It's not happening."

His words hung in the air for a moment and Sousuke lifted his brows.

Then the larger man smiled. "Glad to hear it. …Sorry, guess I didn't need to be so hard on you, earlier."

Rin shook his head. "What are you even so worried about?"

Sousuke's smile faded. "I lost my chance to achieve my dream, Rin. I'd never forgive you if you got this close and then threw it all away. For someone."

He inhaled, emotion gathering in his throat, burning in his eyes. "Sousuke… I just said I won't. Not like my dad."

"Hey." Sousuke nudged Rin's shoulder with a fist. "Don't do _that_ , Rin."

"I'm—I'm not…" He turned away to gather himself.

There was a sudden scuff of receding footsteps from the corridor beyond the curtain.

Rin tugged on a few strands of hair and sighed, composing himself quickly. The hell was he thinking, getting into a heart-to-heart chat here, where anything they said could be overheard? "They're gonna send out search parties. Come on, I'll help you find your group." Rin ducked through the curtains, his eyes adjusting to the dim corridors beyond…and went cold at the sight of a familiar frame disappearing around the corner, a green and white plaid shirt, sand-colored hair—

… _Makoto?_


	5. 50 meter rivalry

The patterned curtains—purple cotton with white flowers—slipped over his shoulders and fell slack behind him. Rin drew a breath, not blinking, running over his and Sousuke's conversation in his mind… _Fuck. Makoto, what I said about you and Haru, I didn't—_

The curtains shifted as Sousuke followed. "Rin?"

He exhaled. "Nothing. Let's go." Rin shoved his hands into his pockets and started down the narrow corridor, his eyes adjusting slowly to the pools of light from recessed fixtures in the ceiling. He could hear muffled conversations and laughter from the rooms they passed, footsteps echoing in the halls. If their positions were reversed, Makoto probably would've run after him, desperate to clear up the misunderstanding and fix everything. He'd have the right words to explain it all away, smile and make it like it never happened. But for Rin… How the hell should he even start that conversation? _Uh, sorry. Didn't mean to imply you and Haru were screwing each other…_ Rin grimaced. Yeah, that'd go over well.

They headed down a half-flight of stairs and around several corners, passing wait staff in brightly colored _yukata._

"Do you remember from the lobby? Where your group's room was." Rin glanced at Sousuke.

Sousuke was frowning slightly, his hands tucked into the front pockets of his designer hoodie. His green eyes were cast off in deep thought. "It was… No."

Rin rolled his eyes towards the ceiling. "Or the art on the walls?"

"There were birds."

Rin fought the urge to face palm as they walked by panel after panel covered in paintings of birds, lining the corridor as far as he could see. "You're studying to be a doctor, right? You're gonna get lost in your own hospital."

Sousuke gave a soft grunt of disagreement. "No. There'll be signs."

Rin just shook his head. They were approaching an intersection. He heard more voices and footsteps—

"Ah, Tachibana. You didn't by chance see…?"

"Oh, Yamazaki?" Makoto said. "Yeah, he was just—"

Rin came upon the two of them abruptly as he turned the corner, Makoto and a swimmer in Todai blue and gold—Kawamura. The men's gazes flicked in his and Sousuke's direction.

"There you are." Kawamura's hazel eyes landed on Sousuke, the look a sort of fond exasperation as Rin read it. He ran one hand through his short fringe of dark brown hair. "You would've been lost until morning in a place like this."

Sousuke sighed but didn't deny the allegation.

Kawamura nodded his head towards one of the branching corridors. "Come on. This way."

Sousuke's shoulder brushed Rin's as he squeezed by. He glanced back. "Later, Rin."

"Matsuoka, thanks," Kawamura said, before turning away.

"Yeah." Rin rubbed the back of his neck.

The two Todai students headed off, conversing in low voices, one of Kawamura's hands grazing Sousuke's shoulder.

Rin watched them leave, dropping his hand back to his side, all too aware of Makoto standing next to him. He inhaled, groping for words—

"This place is like a maze, huh?" Makoto said.

Rin could hear the smile in Makoto's voice before he ever looked. _Or we can pretend you didn't hear what I said…_ Makoto was smiling in that sweet, innocent way that was so typical of him, toffee-colored hair falling across his brow. Rin averted his eyes as embarrassment crawled up his throat. "Makoto… What I said, I—"

"Haru-chan?" Nagisa's voice echoed from further down the hall.

Rei's voice followed soon after. "Haruka-senpai?" As if searching…

Rin stilled, his eyes widening as he looked at Makoto. "If you're here—"

Makoto's face went slack with alarm. "And you're—"

 _Who's watching Haru? No one, that's fucking who._ Rin exhaled as they took off down the hall, dodging wait staff and shoe racks. _I swear, if I find you sitting in the koi pond wearing your smug, 'I'm in water' face, I'm gonna—_

There was a crowd in the lobby area, murmurs mixing with excited voices. Over the heads of the shorter, female wait staff, Rin saw Haru—clothed, thank God, though his T-shirt was wet and he was using a small towel to dry off his arms. Standing nearby was a father wearing a haggard but relieved expression; in the man's arms was a boy with a tear-streaked face. The child was clutching a dolphin plushie wrapped in a towel, the boy's quiet thumb-sucking interrupted by an occasional sniffle as he looked around.

"Haru…?" Makoto said.

Rin flicked his eyes towards the ceiling.

The fuchsia-clad hostess bowed repeatedly to the man and his son, a staff member at her side offering more towels. The father looked embarrassed, righting crooked glasses and bowing in return.

The crowd began to dissipate, allowing Rin to cross the narrow walkway over the pond to join Haru near the front entrance. He propped one hand on his hip, noting with raised brows that Haru's feet were bare, his warmup pants rolled up to mid-calf.

"What?" Haru said in response to Rin's look, though he hadn't said anything yet. "The boy dropped his stuffed animal. I helped."

"Right." Rin's lips curved. "You mean you heard a splash and came running."

"Nn." Haru looked away.

Makoto, coming over, scrubbed one hand through his tawny locks and sighed, his broad shoulders slumping. "I was only gone for five minutes. Your parents…"

"…Haruka?" Mrs. Nanase's voice carried across the lobby. She was wearing a slight frown of concern, a woman in a powder-blue _yukata_ by her side. Behind her, Haru's dad looked a little confused. Farther back, Nagisa was trying to cover his laugh with a cough, Rei wore a knowing smile, and Gou… Gou was staring at Haru's triceps as he toweled off. Because of course she was. (To be fair, most the wait staff were sneaking their own glimpses.)

In short order, they were all ushered back to the room where their dinner plates had been cleared away.

They got treated to free dessert for Haru's heroics—a selection of tarts, puddings, and small cakes topped with cherry blossoms. Rin let Nagisa eat his portion, but he toyed with one of the tiny stems, spinning the delicate, pink-petaled flower between his thumb and forefinger. He was drowning out the others' conversation again—Nagisa and Gou's excited exclamations over the various desserts, Rei gushing over how beautiful it all was, Haru's parents chatting with Makoto about his family…

 _Sakura_ , to him, had always been synonymous with Japan, home, the tree by Iwatobi Elementary, pools strewn with blossoms, and—somehow—Haru… _Sakura_ reminded him of everything he'd missed, being gone. Rin tucked the flower into his pocket carefully as the others finished up.

After dinner, they gathered their things and headed out into the quiet night, making their way to the train station. It was a clear night for once, though the lights of the city obscured most of the stars. Once they reached the station, they said goodnight to Haru's parents and boarded the train headed north, towards the Koutei and Todai campuses.

Onboard, Gou, Rei, and Nagisa sat together, Gou and Nagisa both nodding off and using Rei's shoulders for pillows. Rei just sighed and closed his eyes. Makoto stood nearby, holding one of the straps that hung from the ceiling rails, watching the trio with a contented look that reminded Rin of a relieved parent whose kids were asleep. Haru was a little ways away, staring out the window at the city flashing by.

Rin clutched one of the straps and cleared his throat softly. "Makoto…"

Makoto smiled at him. "Rin, you'll come over in the morning, right? Their plane leaves in the afternoon, so we'll be headed down to the airport before lunchtime."

Probably Makoto was just being polite, like always. But was it possible he actually hadn't overheard…? Rin would have to force the awkward conversation if he wanted to have it…which he didn't, honestly. At least not here. "Yeah," he said, eventually. "Can you send me the address? I'll head over after I wake up."

Makoto tilted his head to the side, still smiling sweetly. "Sure. Everyone will probably try to sleep in a little, but any time's fine."

"It won't be too early."

The train slowed to make a scheduled stop, letting people on and off. Given the late hour, the car was pretty empty. They rode in silence from there, approaching the stop where Rin would transfer trains and the Iwatobi alums would switch to the subway.

Rin gently woke Gou as the train slowed.

She only stirred, leaning heavily against his shoulder as he drew her from her seat. "Deltoid… Infraspinatus…"

Rin rolled his eyes, helping her from the train, while Rei took care of a sleepy Nagisa.

Out on the breezy platform, Gou woke up a little, rubbing her eyes. They headed down the steps, Rin keeping hold of one of her arms until they got to the place where they needed to part ways.

Makoto came over as Gou was stifling a yawn. "Rin, I can…"

He nodded. "Thanks for looking out for my sister, Makoto."

Makoto smiled. "Anytime."

Rin waved his goodnight to the others and headed off, shoving his hands into his pockets, his gear bag slung across his chest. It was pretty late, fewer people still out and about, so he didn't miss the sound of familiar footsteps following him.

"Rin."

He stopped and turned as Haru caught up, a loose column of people separating them from the rest of the Iwatobi alums.

Haru had one hand curled around the strap of his gear bag, against his chest. "What time are you getting to the pool?"

"After lunch, I guess?" Rin shrugged.

Haru nodded. "I'll see you there. I have to spend time with my parents in the morning."

"Have to, huh?"

Haru's lips pursed. "My mom wants to and my dad said I have to."

Rin smiled faintly. "It's good, right? You don't get to see them often. Especially your dad." _We're not all that lucky._

Haru frowned at first, like he'd say it was troublesome or something like that, but he stopped himself abruptly, his face softening. "Yeah, you're right," he said.

 _It's showing on my face again, huh?_ Rin sighed.

"…Rin." Haru's gaze turned pensive. "You meant it about Sydney, right? That part wasn't just playful banter."

There was that look again—blue eyes swimming with hope. Rin smiled. "Yeah, I meant that."

Haru's eyes warmed. He stepped close, reaching out. "See you tomorrow, Rin."

Rin's eyes widened as Haru's fingers brushed against his left ear, a graze of something foreign touching his skin. " _Oi_ —"

Haru dropped his hand and stepped back, a satisfied look flickering in his eyes as Rin's hand flew to touch what he'd left.

His fingertips met soft petals. Rin's face began to burn. "Haru…" His mind flew back to the pool at Samezuka, a year ago, just before he'd gone back to Australia. When instead of saying goodbye, it was, _Rin, you have petals in your hair._

"The trees on campus are still blooming," Haru said as he pushed his hands into his pockets and turned to go. "It's not too late if you wanna go see, Rin."

 _Haru—_ Rin inhaled, his lips parting but no sound came out as he watched Haru walk back towards the others.

He felt someone else's gaze and looked up…just in time to see Makoto turn away, as if he'd been watching.

Rin drew the small blossom from his hair, the clouded expression on Makoto's face seared into his eyes. He couldn't tell what Makoto was thinking—not even a little bit—but it left no doubt in his mind that Makoto had heard everything.

* * *

Sunday, April 10th, 2016

* * *

The crows woke Rin on Sunday at dawn, cawing incessantly and probably fighting over some scrap of food. Still tired, Rin rolled over on the futon, smashing his face into the pillow and trying to go back to sleep. But after about ten minutes—and more cawing—he gave up. He was awake. Sitting up, he ran his fingers through his hair, blinking at the sunlit room. The _tatami_ alcove where he slept was just off the main room, across from the glass doors that led out to the balcony, the table and kitchen in between. The glass door was cracked a bit and it sounded like the stupid birds were right outside. Whatever. Rin got up and stretched, his tank top and sleep pants shifting against his skin. He headed for the bathroom. The door to Sousuke's bedroom was open a sliver, dark and quiet beyond. The guy could sleep through anything; he wouldn't be up for hours.

After putting away the bedding, Rin dressed for a run and headed outside. It was a mild spring day, still cooler than Sydney, but with clear skies and light winds. He ran through Todai's campus for a bit, down broad walkways lined with ginkgo trees with their green, fan-shaped leaves. It was the last day of the Olympic trials. Come tomorrow, he'd have to start figuring some things out—where to live, where to train—good problems to have. _Four months until Rio, Dad._

Sousuke was still asleep when Rin got back. He showered, ate breakfast, and dressed in street clothes—black pants, a burgundy V-neck t-shirt, and a gray sweatshirt, shoving his leg skins and warmups into his gear bag. His phone buzzed with a text message from Makoto.

_[We're up if you want to head over. Here's the address…]_

Rin mapped it out. Makoto's place was only a couple kilometers away. It'd be about as fast walking versus getting to the station, riding for one stop, and then walking the rest of the way. He grabbed his stuff and headed out, letting Sousuke sleep. The guy had gotten back well after midnight—Rin knew because he'd woken up—and it was only a little after 8am.

 _[I'm leaving now_ , _]_ he texted back.

Rin pushed earbuds into his ears as he walked, letting the soft breeze dry his damp hair, occasionally glancing at his phone to make sure he was going the right way. It was pretty much a straight shot up _Hongo Dori_ for most of the way, with the Todai campus on his right and four lanes of traffic on his left. People were just beginning to wake up, opening up shops, delivery trucks driving down the street. The campus eventually gave way to taller buildings, mostly residential and small offices. Nearing the Koutei campus, there were actual houses and small apartment buildings. He passed the station where he'd met Haru Friday night and continued towards the north side of campus.

Turning down a narrow street, Rin found the brick building and headed upstairs, looking for the right door—

"Nagisa-kun!" Rei was yelling as one of the doors ahead of Rin flew open, Nagisa bursting out in sock feet, jeans, a t-shirt…and Rei's glasses.

Nagisa was laughing as he nearly collided with Rin. "Ah, Rin-chan!"

Rei, his face bright red, leaned out the door, clutching the towel that encircled his hips. "Nagisa-kun, come back here right this second!"

Breathless, Nagisa hid behind Rin. "Rin-chan, save me."

Rin rolled his eyes. "You guys…"

Makoto appeared in the doorway, hastily pushing Rei back inside. "Guys, it's really early—"

"Mako-chan, look! Rin-chan's here!" Nagisa tugged him towards the door.

Makoto sighed, smiling tiredly. "Glad you found the place. I tried to give Sousuke directions once…"

"Yeah, the guy can't find his way out of a box." Rin followed the others inside and slipped off his shoes.

The interior of the tiny apartment looked like a war zone, with blankets and clothing scattered on the floor, dishes and towels on the table. Not that Rin was excessively tidy, but…

"Nagisa, give Rei back his glasses," Makoto said, folding his arms across his sage-colored t-shirt.

"Awww." Nagisa pouted and followed Rei into the bathroom.

Rin glanced around. "You, uh, want some help with stuff?"

Makoto laughed wearily as he gathered an armful of plates. "Would you believe all this happened in the last half-hour? Once Nagisa showed up…"

A door opened deeper in the apartment. Gou wandered out, rubbing her eyes, her scarlet hair loose around her shoulders. "Makoto…" She was barefoot, wearing skin tight shorts and a loose, pale blue tank top that did little to hide the dark-colored bra she wore underneath.

Rin's brows climbed his forehead. "Gou, what the hell are you wearing? Put some clothes on!"

"Onii-chan!" She smiled sleepily, launching herself at him and hugging him tightly.

Rin peeled her off. "Gou. _Clothes_."

His sister rolled her eyes and disappeared back into the room, coming out moments later in a navy blue sweatshirt that draped off her shoulders and hung nearly to her knees. She yawned, pulling her hair up into a ponytail.

Rin frowned, eyeing the sweatshirt. "Is that—?"

"What? I was cold," Gou said. "Makoto let me borrow it."

A clatter of dishes landed loudly in the sink.

Rin glanced over coolly, meeting the uneasy look on Makoto's reddened face.

"It's exactly like she said, Rin, I swear." Makoto cringed, his face screaming _don't hit me._

Rin rubbed his brow with one hand. "What time does the plane leave again?"

-x-

The kids wanted to be touristy but no one could agree on what to do (Gou wanted to shop, Nagisa wanted to go to the arcade, and Rei wanted to visit a garden), so after a whirlwind tour of about five different places, Rin was glad to be seated on the monorail, headed out to Haneda. Gou was sitting next to him in a white Iwatobi sweatshirt and blue leggings, happily clutching several shopping bags including souvenirs for their mom and Gou's friend Hana. One entire bag was full of sports magazines Gou insisted she'd bought "for the articles" and "research." Across the aisle from them, Rei had the window seat but Nagisa was basically in his lap with his face pressed against the window as he looked out. Makoto, in the seat behind Nagisa and Rei, looked content if tired with a small, beige messenger bag slung across his chest, over a plaid shirt that was predominantly tan and white.

Once they piled off the monorail at Haneda's domestic terminal, Rin helped his sister repack her bags so that everything would fit. They headed for the departure area on the second floor…

"Matsuoka-senpai!" "Captain Matsuoka!" In the check-in line already was the entire Samezuka team that had come to watch the trials, a spectacle even in street clothes instead of their uniforms.

Nitori was up against the stanchions, watching him with wide teal eyes that were rapidly filling with liquid. "Rin-senpai…"

" _Tch_." Rin left the Iwatobi alums in line and headed over. "What're you doing that for, Ai?"

The boy sniffed hard, clutching the strap of his duffle bag. He was wearing a green and white sweatshirt over gray pants. "Because I thought I wouldn't get to say goodbye to Senpai—"

Rin flicked his eyes towards the ceiling. "We already did, last night."

"But…"

Rin drew one hand from his pocket, reaching out to muss the boy's silver hair fondly. "Come on, Ai. Pull it together. You're in college tomorrow."

Nitori sniffed hard and wiped his face. "Hai." He straightened, gathering himself with a breath. "Good luck tonight, Rin-senpai!"

The ranks of Samezuka swimmers echoed their captain like a chorus. "Good luck tonight, Matsuoka-senpai!"

…And pretty much everyone turned around to stare. _Great._ "Thanks, Ai."

Nitori beamed back, pink warming his cheeks, completely missing Rin's sarcasm.

With the stares came whispers and quiet exclamations. "Is that…?" "Isn't he that swimmer we saw on TV?" "He's going to the Olympics!" "He's the one with the new national record, right?" "Oh my gosh, those shoulders." "You…you should go talk to him!" "No, you!"

Rin rubbed the side of his neck, pretending to be oblivious, but secretly soaking it all in.

"Rin."

Rin turned at the sound of Haru's voice. Haru was carrying his Koutei gear bag, dressed in a blue and white sweatshirt, gray t-shirt, and black pants, though he was almost certainly wearing his jammers underneath. His parents trailed him, smiling and towing a suitcase.

The whispers from the onlookers turned to muffled squeals. "Isn't that—?" "It's _them_! Matsuoka-kun and Nanase-kun!" "Did you _see_ them in the hundred meter free?"

Haru's steps slowed, a perplexed expression on his face as he started to look around for the source of the squealing.

"Haru." _You've got some sense of timing_. Rin smiled.

Haru's mom shied away from the noise a little. "Dear…"

"We'll get in line, Son," Haru's dad said, leading her away.

Haru shoved his hands into his pockets as he stopped at Rin's side. He was frowning, his eyes darting towards the staring masses.

Rin snorted. "You're gonna have to get used to this, you know."

"Nn."

A young brunette burst from the crowd—or was shoved, either way. "M-Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun, could I get a picture? Please?"

Rin turned towards the girl, smiling and pushing one hand through his hair. "Sure."

Haru's eyes widened. " _Oi_ , Rin—"

Rin slipped one arm around Haru's shoulders, standing close, and made a peace sign with his other hand.

The girl looked faint with delight, her face reddening. She raised her camera and started snapping pictures. The surrounding crowd whipped out cell phones and it was suddenly flash after flash—

Haru stood stiffly beneath Rin's arm.

Rin glanced aside at his friend, lowering his voice. "Come on, Haru, relax. Think about water or something."

" _Rin_."

"You know we need sponsors, right? You gotta play to this."

Haru inhaled. "But I can't—"

Rin smiled at the nerves on his friend's face. "Yeah, you can. I'm here, right? We're doing this together."

Those blue eyes widened momentarily, then softened, Haru's breath coming out in a puff. Rin felt some of the tension slowly leave Haru's frame. "Alright, but you're swimming with me later."

Rin laughed quietly. "Yeah, Haru."

They both faced the crowd again and while Haru wasn't exactly smiling, his expression had thawed at least. As if in afterthought, he also made a peace sign.

The crowd swelled until Rin was almost blind from all the flashes, his cheeks aching from smiling so much. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of carmine locks behind a pearl pink camera— "Gou! Why are _you_ doing it?"

Gou smiled innocently and scampered away, taking refuge at Makoto's side.

Seeing how the Samezuka-Iwatobi group was done with check-in, Rin drew his arm free. He waved at their admirers. "Gotta go. Thanks." He grabbed Haru's arm, tugging him away amidst muffled awww's and well-wishes for the evening's finals.

"That's all you have to do?" Haru asked.

"Yeah, not a whole lot of effort, huh?"

Haru made a thoughtful humming sound. "It's easier than the interviews."

Rin chuckled. "'Cause you don't have to talk, you mean."

"The two of you have a lot of fans," Makoto said, smiling as Rin and Haru joined them. Rei, Nagisa, and Gou all carried their backpacks and boarding passes. Nearby, Nitori was taking attendance of the Samezuka students and beginning to herd them towards the security checkpoint.

Gou was flicking through the snapshots on her camera. "These are good, but it's better when you're just wearing your swimsuits."

Mr. and Mrs. Nanase picked that moment to show up. Haru's mother cleared her throat lightly, a polite—if strained—smile on her face. "Um, beg your pardon?"

Rin turned his face away so he wouldn't laugh as Gou went bright red and quickly stashed her camera in her bag.

"Uh, I mean—"

_Yeah, just keep digging, Gou._

Rei adjusted his glasses. "Perhaps we should proceed to Security?" He folded his arms over his navy blue, white-collared polo shirt.

"Yeah, good idea!" Gou spun away and headed off. Even the tips of her ears were red.

At the line for security, there was a huge (embarrassing) round of hugs and goodbyes. Rin had to pry both Gou and Nitori off him. Haru had to do the same with Nagisa, but Rei assisted. The Samezuka students and Iwatobi alums finally got in line, leaving them with Haru's parents for a moment.

Haru's mother looked worried, fidgeting with the strap of her purse. "Haruka, you'll call if you need anything, right?" she asked.

Haru nodded dutifully. "Yes." His face said, _I don't need anything._

Mrs. Nanase sighed, smoothing a wrinkle from her sweater as she shifted her gaze to Rin. "Rin, thanks for looking out for him. He's just a bit, well, _shy_ …"

Haru exhaled.

Mr. Nanase took his wife's arm by the elbow. "Dear, you're not helping. He'll be fine, don't worry."

Haru's mom didn't say anything else, though she still looked concerned.

"Son." Mr. Nanase laid a hand on Haru's shoulder. "Good luck tonight. I know you'll do your best out there. Whatever happens, you know that we're proud of you."

It hurt to watch the exchange. Hell, it hit Rin like a freight train inside, hearing those soft words that he'd never get to hear his dad say. _We're proud of you, Son._ Knowing that his father would've been proud if he was still alive just wasn't the same. Rin felt the heat rising in his throat and fought back viciously as Haru's parents got in line. He couldn't break here—he had to hold it together. _Breathe, wave, smile…breathe, wave, smile…_ He didn't look at Makoto or Haru, because if he looked and found pity in either of their gazes he was going to lose his cool and it wouldn't be pretty.

The line of travelers continued to move and grow, until he couldn't see Haru's parents and the others from Samezuka and Iwatobi anymore.

Rin could finally drop the whole waving and smiling thing. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'll be right back."

As he turned away, Makoto moved as if to follow. "Rin?"

But Haru grabbed his arm, a wordless conversation passing between the two lifetime friends with a mere look.

Makoto stopped, going quiet.

Rin shut them out, drawing a thick breath as he walked off.

-x-

Matsuoka Rin, Rio-bound Olympic swimmer, wasn't going to cry in the bathroom like a little kid. He wasn't going to shed a single fucking tear just because circumstances made him miss his dead dad. Instead, he pushed through the doors of the rooftop observation deck and headed outside. There was a decent breeze out here and a handful of people—travelers and a few plane spotter types with serious photography equipment. The floor was dark gray tile, leading to a metal rail and tall security fence; there were small planters of flowers here and there. Terminal One looked across the airfield to the International Terminal. On a super clear day, Mt. Fuji could supposedly be seen in the distance, but the horizon was too hazy today. Haneda's interior, roughly north-south runway was situated between the two terminals. Rin walked to the rail, the breeze sifting through his hair, the sound of jet engines spinning up for takeoff helping drown out his turbulent thoughts. He watched a couple of aircraft depart to the north, banking right soon after liftoff and heading out over Tokyo Bay.

Rin exhaled, feeling the tension lessen from his shoulders as he calmed down. It was all he needed—just a moment alone to get his shit together. Water worked for Haru, but for him, he just needed to work it out somehow. Without anyone trying to fix what couldn't be fucking fixed.

When he turned from the railing a couple of minutes later, his stomach was rumbling, reminding him that he needed to eat and start getting focused on tonight's races. He pulled out his phone and dialed.

Haru answered. " _Rin_."

"Where are you guys?" he asked as he pulled the door open, heading back inside.

" _Third floor. There's restaurants. You're hungry right?_ "

"Yeah. I'll meet you down there."

" _OK_."

Rin shoved the phone into his pocket, riding the escalators down to the third floor. He found Haru and Makoto standing in front of the restaurant board where vibrant photographs displayed the various food options. "Hey," he said.

Makoto turned, greeting him with a gentle smile. "Hey."

Haru glanced at him, a quick flick of blue eyes before he spoke. "I want—"

" _Saba,_ " Rin and Haru said in unison. Rin sighed. "Of course."

They settled on conveyor belt sushi, sitting at the bar where they could watch the chefs prepare the fish as well as the planes landing and taking off beyond the window. Haru sat in the middle, on Rin's left, pulling plate after plate of _saba_ _nigiri_ off the belt.

" _Oi_ , don't just load up on protein," Rin said, snagging a plate of seaweed salad. "It'll slow you down." He set the salad between them, using his chopsticks to move a portion onto his own dish.

"I know that," Haru said, adding his now-empty plate to the growing stack in front of him. But he ate a few bites of the salad.

Makoto didn't say much, though he was smiling as they ate together. It made Rin a little self-conscious, honestly, reminding him about the restaurant last night. Of course, Makoto and Haru didn't need to use words. They pulled plates off the belt for each other and passed the soy sauce back and forth as though they'd been doing this for years, which was probably true. It made Rin feel intrusive, not to mention awkward. If there was something going on between them that they'd both failed to mention, he'd be the one looking like a complete idiot.

Haru, oblivious as usual, was nibbling on an edamame pod as he watched the chef fillet a fresh salmon on the other side of the counter. "Rin, can you do that?"

Rin cocked a brow. "I can fillet a fish, Haru." He lifted his cup of water and sipped.

Cobalt eyes flicked his way, mildly. "'Cause you claim you can cook, but I've never actually seen you do it."

Snorting, Rin set his cup on the counter. "That's right, I did say I'd cook for you sometime, didn't I?" He lowered his voice. "Well, I'll cook your socks off, Haru, but it won't be _saba_." Rin grinned, baring his teeth for emphasis. "Because _saba_ is what _food_ eats."

Haru's eyes narrowed slightly. "Sharks eat anything, including garbage. I'll wait to be impressed."

The competitive thrill surged inside him. _I'm gonna make you eat your words, Haru._ "Let's set a date and do this. Tonight, after finals?"

Haru shrugged. "If you think you'd be ready."

"Haru, did you forget? Tonight's not good," Makoto said.

Rin drew a breath as the bubble of teasing banter between him and Haru burst. Not that he'd forgotten Makoto was there, but…

Haru looked at Makoto, another one of those nonverbal conversations happening over the space of a few seconds. All Makoto did was lift his brows slightly. Haru sighed and discarded his empty edamame pod, reaching for another.

"It's a Koutei-Todai tradition," Makoto said. "At the end of a big meet or event. Everyone will be there, so…"

"I go because Makoto's too shy to go without me," Haru said.

Pink stained Makoto's face. "Haru-chan—"

"I told you not to call me that." Haru flicked another empty shell into the bowl. "You'll come too," he said, looking at Rin.

"I will, huh?" _That's pretty demanding of you, Haru._

"Yamazaki will be there, so." Haru said it like it was obvious he'd be wherever Sousuke was.

Makoto's smile faltered momentarily—he almost missed it. Rin dropped his gaze to his cup, feeling like a giant, insensitive jerk. Again.

"And Takara."

Rin stilled at the mention of Sakamoto's name, especially her first name without any honorifics whatsoever. "Fine. I'll be there." He grabbed his cup and drank.

-x-

After lunch, they boarded the monorail again, heading north from the airport. Rin took the seat by himself this time, letting Haru and Makoto sit together. He rested his chin in his hand, staring out the window at the Tokyo waterfront, flashing past. It was going to be like this from now on—the three of them. Well, the four of them. Haru had Makoto, he had Sousuke. Which was…fine, but it was going to continue being weird, apparently, if Haru and Sousuke couldn't be in the same room together and every time Rin looked at Makoto it reminded him of all the things he'd said… _Whatever_. Rin exhaled. He wasn't here to hang out with friends and have a good time. He was here to crush it in Rio. Nothing else mattered.

The monorail slowed to a stop.

"Rin?"

He looked up. Makoto was smiling at him. He and Haru were standing, preparing to deboard.

"Ah." Rin grabbed his bag and followed.

They transferred to the train. The Rinkai line took them past Daiba's colorful and sprawling architecture and the Rainbow Bridge waterfront. The three of them stood near the windows, looking out. The replica Statue of Liberty went by.

"Haru-chan, remember the time we brought Rei and Nagisa out here?" Makoto asked, smiling.

Haru exhaled.

"Rei wanted to pose with the statue," Makoto said to Rin, "but Nagisa kept ruining the picture. Did you guys ever make it out here?"

Rin scowled. "Yeah, during Nationals. Momo tried to climb the Gundam statue south of Diver's City. You can imagine how that went over." _Nitori panicking, security guards all over the place…and guess who, as captain, had to do all the apologizing…_

Makoto chuckled. He opened his mouth to say something more, but a buzzing sound interrupted him. Makoto pulled his phone from his pocket. "Oh, looks like they've arrived." He leaned against one of the posts and typed a reply. "Mikoshiba-senpai asked me to keep an eye on Momo-kun today. We'll be up in the Koutei section." Makoto slipped the phone back into his pocket, straightening. "You guys'll miss the fifteen hundred free, right?"

 _Thirty laps, ugh._ "We'll probably catch the end of it," Rin said.

They got off at Shin-Kiba station and walked the rest of the way to the stadium. Mikoshiba and Momo were waiting at the top of the stairs.

"Makoto-senpai, Makoto-senpai!" Momo bounded over in street clothes—a yellow hoodie beneath a black denim jacket over gray pants. And bright orange high-tops.

Makoto climbed the stairs to meet him, smiling kindly. "Hey, Momo-kun. Ready to go hang out?"

"Yay!" Momo bounced in circles around Makoto.

Mikoshiba straightened in his navy-blue Koutei warmups, scrubbing one hand through his reddish-orange hair. "He already ate, so—"

"No sugar, no caffeine." Makoto smiled. "Got it." He patted the small messenger bag he carried. "I brought healthy snacks instead."

 _Wow_. Rin coughed to stop himself from laughing. "Makoto looks pretty happy about his babysitter gig."

"Yep," Haru said. "He misses Ran and Ren, I think."

 _And Momo's basically a twelve-year-old, so…_ He and Haru shared a look, obviously thinking the same thing, and climbed the stairs to join the others.

-x-

After the locker room, they headed for the warmup pool. Haru's steps quickened as they passed through the double doors and walked out onto the pool deck; he drew a deep breath as if savoring the chlorinated air. Rin chuckled, pulling on his cap and goggles poolside while Haru dove in and started lazy strokes, gliding through the clear water.

He was about to join Haru when he saw Sousuke on the far side of the pool, pacing a swimmer in lane one—Kawamura, Rin guessed. Sousuke was in athletic wear and sandals, reminding Rin immediately of senior year in high school. _Like when you used to help Nitori._

Sousuke noticed him standing there and smiled, stopping to wave.

Rin walked over, joining Sousuke near the start blocks. "Hey."

Sousuke rested his hands in his pockets, looking relaxed. "Hey. You were up early today."

"Eh." Rin smoothed a wrinkle from his swim cap. "I was seeing Gou off at the airport."

"Yeah, I know. She texted me some pictures earlier."

"Huh?" Rin's brows lifted. Since when…?

Sousuke shrugged. "We keep up, occasionally." Sousuke's green eyes warmed. "Looked like you and Nanase caused a bit of a stir."

"Yeah." Rin dropped his hand. "That just kind of happened."

Sousuke chuckled. "Can't fool me, Rin. You enjoyed it."

"Nnn."

"…Well, I should let you get to it." Sousuke's gaze flicked down the pool. "To him, I mean." There was a mild tease in Sousuke's words.

Rin glanced over and found Haru bobbing in the water in lane eight, clinging to the side of the pool with one hand, the other hand lifting his goggles. Haru was looking in their direction, his face smooth and unreadable. As soon as their gazes met, he pulled his goggles over his eyes and slipped underwater.

"Good luck tonight, Rin." Sousuke swatted Rin's shoulder lightly, still smiling as he walked away to meet Kawamura at the opposite end of the pool.

Rin's breath came out in a puff as he settled his goggles into place. _The hell's got you in such a good mood today?_ He climbed onto the block in lane seven and dove in, catching up with Haru.

-x-

The men's 1500m free was a fifteen minute race. Rin and Haru came up to the waiting area just as the lead swimmers were entering the final four laps. Rin wasn't surprised at all that Mikoshiba, in lane seven, was pulling ahead of the competition. This was nothing to the guy who regularly swam 100m a hundred times and called that no big deal.

It was just before 5pm and the stands were packed with local fans, from what Rin could tell on the monitor. There were tons of people in Koutei and Todai T-shirts, waving those inflatable tube things and cheering loudly. In the pool, the swimmers entered the final lap, everyone pulling out their last ditch sprints—

Mikoshiba hit at 14:53 and change, nearly two seconds under the Rio qualifying time. The Koutei fans went crazy, yelling and shouting, though it wasn't enough to drown out Momo's loud, "Nii-chan!"

Mikoshiba came out of the water sparkling in his speedo, raking off his cap and goggles with a grin for the cameras.

"The guy's a total fricking ham," Rin muttered, folding his arms over his warmups.

"That ham's in love with your sister," Haru said, glancing aside, goggles perched on his forehead. "You could have a ham for a brother-in-law."

"Oh, like _hell_ that's happening…"

Once the interviews and podium pictures were done and the pool deck cleared, the announcer came on: " _Next up, program sixty-nine, men's fifty meter freestyle, final_."

"Twenty-one eighty-seven, right?" Haru asked as he settled his goggles into place.

 _Isn't that my line?_ Rin cocked a brow. "Since when are you worrying about the clock? Don't try anything wild out there. You'll tank."

Haru exhaled. "Every race is another chance to get to swim with you in Rio. In case the relay doesn't work out."

"Haru…" Rin drew a breath. He reached up and pulled his goggles down. "What're you talking about? It'll work."

"I'm not taking it for granted, Rin. The fact that you're here now."

The air rushed from his lungs. Rin threw his arms around his friend's shoulders from behind. "Damnit, Haru. Quit being so fucking sentimental."

Haru's gaze flicked his way, azure eyes warm behind tinted goggles. Rin felt his face heat, unable to keep himself from thinking about the other morning when, just like this, he'd almost kissed Haru on the lips.

Rin drew away quickly, an irritated growl issuing from his throat. "Keep up out there. Just because we're not in adjacent lanes doesn't mean you can slack off." He headed towards the lineup.

"…And if I win, you'll cook tomorrow night?"

 _Right, we never did settle on a date._ "Yeah." Rin smiled. " _If_ you win. But if I win, what do I get?"

Haru moved ahead in line towards the lane three spot, glancing back over his shoulder with dark eyes. "I don't know, Rin. What do you want?" he asked in a low voice.

The tease sent a tantalizing shiver down Rin's spine. His hands curled at his sides, his mind going absolutely blank as a whole slew of heady impulses rushed through him. _Fuck_. He broke their shared gaze. "Shut up and fucking _swim_ , Haru."

Haru made a soft sound of amusement and faced forward.

The racers walked out as their names were called, one at a time. Haru was in lane three, Rin in lane five. The Osaka swimmer who'd placed first in the semi's was in lane four. Rin wasn't worried about that guy. He stripped off his warmups and stuffed them into the bin behind the block on lane five. Nagisa's voice was notably absent from the cheering that came his way; Nitori and the rest of the Samezuka team weren't there either. But there were still a ton of people calling his name—mostly girls—and the Koutei fans were cheering loudly for Haru.

At the four-pulse whistle, Rin moved towards the block, staring down the lane of glossy, sparkling water. One length, one breath, last race with Haru for this meet at least— _I'm not taking this for granted either, Haru_. The other six swimmers were just the competition to leave behind. But Haru…

He climbed onto the block at the long whistle and lowered himself into position, giving his limbs one last shake to clear his head. At the ready signal, he grasped the block and tensed— He launched cleanly at the start signal, piercing the water's surface with his fingertips. Then it was all churning foam and hard pulls to determine who would own the pool. That title—fastest swimmer in Japan—was _his_ , damnit. Besides Haru, no one else could touch him.

Rin slammed his hand into the wall, feeling the swimmers in adjacent lanes right up with him. He popped up, sucking in breath after breath to ease the burning in his lungs. Excited screaming hit his ears and Rin turned for a view of the board—

1 – Heat 1, Lane 3 – NANASE Haruka – 0:21.86 NR

1 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – MATSUOKA Rin – 0:21.86 NR

 _What the hell?_ Rin snorted with laughter as he yanked off his cap and goggles, dipping his head backwards into the water to wet his hair. _We fucking tied?_ They hadn't tied in a race since high school and this wasn't even their best event. Grinning, Rin twisted in the water towards lane three—

Haru had both arms hooked over the lane rope as he pulled his goggles down to his throat. He was breathing hard—harder than usual—and not even looking around…

Rin sobered fast. _Fuck, I told you not to—_ He ducked underwater, swimming through lane four and popping up beside Haru in lane three. "What the hell did you do, you idiot?" he asked, grabbing the strap of Haru's goggles.

Tired blue eyes flicked in Rin's direction. "What?" Haru asked between breaths. "I'm fine."

Rin kept his voice low, mindful of the cameras. "You don't push like that when it hurts. That's how you get injured." _That's how dreams die._ "I told you not to be stupid."

"I _said_ I'm fine, Rin." Haru shoved him away. "Don't baby me—"

But he caught Haru by the wrist, hauling his friend close and wrapping him in a one-armed embrace, clinging to the lane rope with his other hand to keep them above the water. Rin set his lips against Haru's ear. "You know I can't lose you, right?"

Haru's head popped up as Rin drew back, his blue eyes large and reflecting Rin's face, messy with errant strands of crimson. Haru's expression clouded and he quickly looked away. "I'm really OK," he murmured. "Sorry to make you worry."

Rin exhaled his relief. "Haru—"

" _Oi_ , wonder twins! Better clear the pool!" The girl's voice rang clear over the remaining cheering.

Rin and Haru flinched apart. _Fucking Sakamoto_. Rin scowled, his face heating as he let Haru go first, then followed to the side of the pool.

He'd schooled his expression by the time he climbed out and towel-dried off, smirking to himself. Takara could suck it. He had two national records now, both in races with Haru. _Can't say that, can you?_

Event staff in red T-shirts took them over to the sponsorship wall for a joint interview.

The female reporter stood between two cameras with flashing red lights aimed at them. "Congratulations, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun. Really impressive finish out there. How does it feel to know that the two of you are the fastest swimmers in the nation?" She pushed the microphone towards them.

Rin smiled, pushing one hand through his wet hair. "Obviously, it feels great. We're striving to be the best." _And we just proved it out there, didn't we?_ He would've said the last part out loud, but Haru's eyes flicked in his direction in a look that required no translation— _Don't be a dick, Rin._

"It was a hard race," Haru said when the reporter shifted the microphone his way. "But it was good to be in the water. I'm glad we had the opportunity today."

_Oh, you're getting better at this, Haru._

The reporter withdrew the mic. "Nanase-kun, you really looked like you gave it your all out there tonight. How do you explain improving almost three-quarters of a second since the semi-finals?"

Haru paused thoughtfully for a moment, water running down his swim cap and the side of his face. "I just had the one race tonight, so I wanted to push it. It means a lot to me, to be able to swim with Rin. So I didn't want to miss out."

Rin inhaled, emotion punching him in the gut. _Haru, fuck, we're on live TV! Don't make me lose it!_

"Matsuoka-kun, the two of you had a whole conversation out there after the race. Can you tell us what that was about?"

 _Nope_. "Ah, no, sorry." He grinned at the camera. "Secrets between childhood friends. Not telling." He figured that sounded innocent enough, though by a few of the squeals from the stands that followed, not everyone was buying it. _Whatever_. No way he was repeating what he actually said out there. The fans could think what they wanted.

"Well." The reporter smiled. "Congratulations again, on qualifying and on your shared national record."

"Thanks."

Rin followed Haru as they left the sponsorship wall, heading for the bins the event staff had brought over from the other end of the pool. They pulled on their warmups and headed for the hastily assembled podium. Haru pulled off his swim cap, finally, and shook out his hair. They climbed onto the top step to receive their medals together; the Osaka swimmer from the sixth lane (not the fourth) had taken bronze.

Rin looked out into a sea of camera flashes, smiling and clutching his bouquet in one hand, medal in the other, with Haru beside him.

"This feels good," Haru said.

"Yup." Rin's smile grew.

The photographer at the base of the podium made a hand motion for them to get closer together.

Rin slipped his bouquet arm around Haru's shoulders and grinned.

Haru exhaled—which sounded to Rin like resignation, but he shifted, moving to hold his bouquet and medal in one hand so he could perch the other on Rin's shoulder, between them. "You're right. This is better," Haru said.

 _Damnit, Haru._ Rin couldn't reply, just inhaled thickly, blinked, and kept smiling.

-x-

Rin's final race was the 100m butterfly, not fifteen minutes later. He'd race in lane four, next to Kawamura in lane five. From his time in the semi-finals, he needed to shave off about three-quarters of a second. Rin chucked his empty can into the recycle bin before lining up. More than do-able after what he just pulled off in the fifty. He was warmed up and ready.

The other swimmers were starting to give him dirty, jealous looks. _Can't help that, guys. Get used to it._ But he kept his thoughts to himself. If Takara were here, he'd shove it her face, but these guys—he sympathized with his competition. Being fast in Japan didn't mean much out there. He knew what it felt like to get creamed on an international level—Kawamura'd be familiar, too, from his time training in the States. But Rin still didn't spare any words for his future teammate.

He closed out all the fans and fanfare as he took his place for the fly, snapping the strap of his goggles before bending into position for the start. Haru's words before the free echoed in his head— _Every race is another chance to swim with you. In case the relay doesn't work out._

It was going to work. Rin tensed at the ready signal. He'd use this race to prove that the fly leg of the relay belonged to him. Not Kawamura or anyone else. The start sounded and Rin dove—

No one was next to him when he hit the wall and came up for air. He glanced up at the board—51.60. Good enough. Once everyone else had finished, he swam to the side of the pool and climbed out. He felt a muted satisfaction for his victory; the thrill or elation he should've felt wasn't there.

Even the reporter noticed when it was time for his interview. "Matsuoka-kun, you were all business out there. How was this race compared to the last?"

 _Damn probing questions_. Rin affected a smile. "I went out there with a goal to achieve and I got it done. But I know I've got a lot of hard work ahead of me. In Rio, I'll be swimming against the best in the world. It's sobering to think about." He gave a gentle shrug. "That's what's on my mind."

The woman nodded, apparently approving of his answer. "Congratulations, Matsuoka-kun."

"Thank you."

After the medal ceremony and photo op, Rin headed down to the warmup pool to cooldown. He wasn't surprised to find Haru in the water already—the only other person there, lazing about in lane four. Forgoing his swim cap and goggles, Rin dove from the blocks on lane five and went through his full cooldown routine, until his heartrate had calmed and his muscles felt nice and loose.

He swam to the side and climbed out, grabbing a towel to drape over his head while he dangled his legs in the water. He watched Haru for a few quiet moments—Haru who swam just because he loved the water. _They'd never be calling you business-like after a race._ Sometimes, honestly, he was a little jealous. _That you can just love something like that._ Whereas for Rin, success and winning were all that mattered. And somehow that felt less genuine…and maybe a little cheap, in comparison.

Eventually, Haru cut across the lanes underwater and surfaced next to him. Clinging to the side of the pool with one hand, he stripped off his cap and goggles with the other, shaking his head to clear the droplets from his face. Those blue eyes fastened on Rin. "You're being weird again."

"I am not." Rin looked away, rubbing his head with the towel.

Haru bobbed silently in the water for a moment, then climbed out. "So what're you cooking for me?"

Rin cocked a brow as Haru dried off. "That was if you _won_ , Haru."

"I did win."

"We both won, dummy."

"Yeah." Haru sat down beside him, facing away from the pool, so they were eye-to-eye and shoulder-to-shoulder. He lowered his voice. "Did you decide what you want, Rin?"

The soft, teasing words made Rin draw breath, his hands coming to a stop on the towel. Haru's face was as neutral as always, but his eyes had the same playful streak as the other morning. Playful and…

"Haru…" Rin swallowed, his lips parting as those earlier impulses flooded back. Those thoughts weren't so innocent, not like the kisses they'd shared as kids. Without meaning to, his gaze dropped to Haru's mouth. His heart was suddenly pounding in his chest. His hands fell to brace against the slick tile, curling against the floor.

They were already really close. Damp fingers covered one of Rin's hands as Haru leaned towards him; Rin felt himself moving forward in response—

—The door slammed open. "Rin-senpai! Nanase-senpai!"

Rin flinched away as Momo bounded into the room. His face burned and he went back to scrubbing his hair with the towel. _Were we really gonna…?_ He swallowed again. _Yeah, probably…_

Haru got to his feet. "Makoto."

"Sorry," Makoto said. "We—uh… The last race is over so everyone's heading out. We came to find you guys."

"We just need to shower and stuff," Haru said, his footsteps receding towards the door.

A shadow fell over Rin—Momo leaning over him from behind, his face all eager and jovial. "Rin-senpai!"

 _Momo, I will flip your ass into the pool._ Rin made a growling sound as he pulled his legs out of the water and got up, grabbing his stuff. He headed for the locker room, Momo trailing him like a bouncing puppy.

"Rin-senpai, do you know where we're going?"

"No."

"Rin-senpai, do you know what we'll do there?"

" _No_."

"Rin-senpai—"

"Momo-kun…" Makoto snagged the back of Momo's jacket and hoodie, speaking sweetly. "You should stop that."

"Awwww."

Rin tossed Makoto a glance over his shoulder in thanks, though it probably wasn't his most grateful look, honestly. He pushed the locker room door open. If Makoto hadn't let Momo run around looking for them, _Haru and I would've…_

There was still a handful of guys in the locker room, talking and gathering up their stuff. Haru was standing under the spray in the communal shower.

Rin flung his things onto a bench and stepped into the shower, dousing himself with his back to Haru. The moment, whatever the fuck that was, was over. It was just an emotional race, _that's all_. The banter and his worrying and their gold-medal tie… _Yeah, we just got caught up in it._

Haru left the showers first, to dry off and get dressed. After a couple minutes more, Rin followed.

-x-

The train northbound was stuffed with Koutei and Todai students—teammates, friends of teammates, and fans. Rin ended up in the same car as Sousuke, leaning against the posts near the door. He could hear Momo and Mikoshiba somewhere nearby; Haru and Makoto were in another car.

"You made it look easy, Rin," Sousuke said, reclining next to him with his hands in the pockets of his black and white track suit. "Most people probably would've scratched one of those races."

" _Tch_ , whatever." He adjusted the strap of his gear bag against his chest. He was wearing his warmups, thrown on over his leg skins with a dark gray tank top so he could leave the jacket unzipped.

"I mean it. It's impressive."

Rin glared up at his friend. "The fuck, Sousuke? Is Nitori texting you things to say to me?"

Sousuke smiled faintly, pulling his phone from his pocket and showing Rin the screen.

_[Tell Rin-senpai he was super awesome out there tonight!]_

Rin clicked his tongue, flicking his eyes towards the ceiling of the train. "Enough with the damn fawning. Where're we going?"

Sousuke returned the phone to his pocket. "It's a pub right on _Hongo Dori_ , about halfway between both campuses."

"Pub, huh? We're not old enough to drink, Sousuke."

"We're not, but the upperclassmen are." He shrugged. "It usually doesn't get too wild."

"Nn."

Everyone piled out at the station near the Todai campus and walked north. It was weird getting done just after sunset, before it was actually dark. The sky was clear and dusky-blue, the city's neon lights just starting to glow. Their destination was obvious from a distance, with the noise and crowds packed out in seating along the sidewalk, behind a thin rail. Rin must've passed the place on his way to Makoto's in the morning, but the shop had probably been closed. Navy-white Koutei banners and blue-gold Todai banners hung from the first-floor eaves of the four-story building, waving in a mild breeze. The students outside were clustered around tables bearing communal plates of _yakitori_ and other grilled foods and glass after glass of draft beer.

Rin followed Sousuke inside. The interior of the shop was crowded, but a high ceiling alleviated most of the sensation of claustrophobia. A long counter ran the length of one wall with brush-painted signs displaying menu items; the back wall of the counter was lined with bottles of _sake_. The rest of the room was row upon row of tables, packed tight, the seating a mix of wooden stools and benches. The aroma of grilled meat was mouthwatering, especially after so much damn _saba_. The place was loud, obviously, and Rin didn't think that anyone in here was over twenty-five, save maybe the staff.

" _Oi_ , Rin!" Despite the decibel level, he somehow heard Makoto and turned towards the guy's voice.

Makoto was standing by a table in the middle of the room with Haru and Momo, one hand lifted.

"Hey, Sousuke!" A group in Todai blue and gold waved from a nearby table.

"I'll catch up with you later, Rin," Sousuke said, moving to join them.

Rin carefully made his way through the crowd.

"I saved you a seat," Haru said, scooting over on the bench.

Rin cocked a brow. "That's half a seat, Haru."

His friend shrugged. Haru was wearing his navy blue warmups with the jacket open, a light gray T-shirt underneath. His gear bag was stuffed under the bench.

Rin sighed and jammed his bag underneath as well, squeezing himself onto the bench next to Haru. Makoto, across from them, was smiling sweetly. Next to Makoto, Momo was wide-eyed and slack-jawed, his head swiveling this way and that as he looked around.

There was a pitcher of water on the table, along with cups. Haru poured Rin a glass. "I think he's over-stimulated."

Rin leaned over, flicking the kid on the shoulder. " _Oi_ , Momo."

Gold eyes snapped to Rin's face and brightened. "Rin-senpai!" Momo hunched forward and lowered his voice. "There're lots of girls here."

 _Oh, great_. "They're all too old for you, Momo. Way too old."

Makoto chuckled.

Momo pouted, though his eyes went back to roving about.

Rin drank from the cup Haru gave him, watching the wait staff walk around carrying plates of grilled skewers. "Haru, what do you eat here if it's all—"

A waiter stopped by the table, setting down a plate with a dozen piping hot skewers. "Here's your Assortment B. Enjoy!"

Rin's brow twitched, staring at the skewers of grilled fish that made up a third of the plate. " _Saba_ …" He scowled. "You said you came here because Makoto needed a wingman."

"He does," Haru said, pressing his palms together and dipping his head. " _Itadakimasu_." He grabbed a skewer.

Rin sighed and clapped his hands together. "— _masu_." He claimed one of the meat skewers.

-x-

They were a couple of plates in when the beer really started flowing freely (albeit not at their table).

Mikoshiba was suddenly standing tall in the center of the room, a couple of tables over, holding a half-full beer mug. "A toast to the Olympians!" he yelled, pumping his other fist into the air.

Rin rolled his eyes as the deafening cheer rose. "Are you toasting yourself, you ass?"

"Ah, Matsuoka! Get up here!" Mikoshiba grinned at him.

"What? No!"

"Come on!" Mikoshiba thrust his hand in Rin's direction. "Everyone, our four-event Olympian, fresh from Down Under!"

 _Ugh, damnit._ Rin felt his face heat as all eyes landed on him.

"You'd better go up there," Haru said, calmly drinking from his glass. "He's not gonna stop until you do."

Makoto winced, nodding.

"I am _not_ going any _where_ —"

"Oh, is our Matsuoka a shy boy?" a feminine voice asked.

Rin twitched, irritation shooting straight up his spine. He climbed out of his seat, staring down the woman who had appeared at Mikoshiba's side.

Takara had one hand perched on Mikoshiba's shoulder, the other hand holding a mostly empty beer mug. She was dressed in street clothes—skinny black pants with a drapey top in light blue that was cinched low on her hips with silver belt. Her long black hair cascaded loose past her shoulders, a fringe of bangs falling to her brows. She was smirking at him with her waterproof, mascara-laden eyelashes.

Rin dragged a hand through his hair. "What was that? I didn't quite hear you, Sakamoto- _senpai_."

Makoto grimaced. "Uh, Rin…"

Takara's eyes darkened. She stepped away from Mikoshiba, propping her free hand on her hip. "You can drop the formalities, Matsuoka. There's no rank in this rivalry."

Rin smiled coolly, dropping his hand. "Ah, gladly. Now, if you'd kindly repeat—"

"I called you _shy_ , honey. Blushing like a schoolgirl over there, hiding next to Haruka."

Rin inhaled hard, his limbs going stiff. "Don't _honey_ me, Sakamoto. How much've you had to drink?"

"Makoto-senpai, what's happening?" Momo asked, wailing softly.

Makoto chuckled uneasily. " _Rin_ …"

" _Oh_." Takara tossed hair behind her shoulder with a flick of her wrist, light gleaming off the glossy strands. "You wanna go, shy boy? I can do this in heels. Right here, right now."

Cheers and whistles from the Koutei-Todai crowd rose in support. " _Take him down, Sakamoto!_ "

Rin stepped forward, grinning. "I wouldn't want you to get hurt, _sweetie_."

His jab was met by pounding on tabletops and more cheering. " _Kick her ass, Matsuoka!_ "

Takara's eyes flashed. She answered his grin in kind, baring her teeth. "No, no. Don't let that stop you." She leveled her gaze at him. "You in? Or not? Winner gets a kiss from Haruka."

"Don't just decide things like that for him!"

Haru sighed loudly behind him. "Again, Takara?"

_What the fuck do you mean, again?!_

Haru got up, closing to Rin's side. "You got this, Rin?"

Rin glared at his friend. "Of course I've fucking got this."

"OK," Haru said.

There were a couple shrill catcalls in response.

"Haru—"

Takara gulped down the last of her beer and slammed the empty mug down on a nearby table. "Bring him, boys. We're taking this upstairs."

Rin inhaled as several pairs of hands closed on his arms. "Wait, what—!?"

-x-

As the music started, Rin gripped the microphone in his hand, dumbfounded. _I don't fucking believe this._ The audience in the small karaoke room consisted of Haru, of course, plus Mikoshiba, Makoto, and Momo, all sitting on the plush couches that lined the room. The low table in the middle was crowded with fresh beers, teas, and sodas, more plates of grilled skewers, and a pile of cakes and other sweets. Rin stood at the head of the room, next to the speakers, strobe lights, and the screen.

Takara had the second mic, the pulsing lights bathing her in pink, yellow, and blue in time with the song's intro. "You know this one, right?"

Rin's face heated, his voice coming out in a grumble. "Yeah I know this one."

"Matsuoka, you should sing the girl's part!" Mikoshiba yelled, taking another swig from his beer.

"Why the fuck should I sing the girl's part?" Rin glared at his former captain. _You're just as tanked as she is!_

"Great idea, Seijuurou!" Takara waved a hand in Rin's direction. "You're up first."

" _Oi_ —"

"It's the better part, Rin," Haru said. He was sitting at the opposite end of the room, his blue eyes bright with amusement. "Besides, you have the girly name."

Rin glared back. "Whose side are you on?"

Haru lifted his brows, almost smiling. _Mine_ , that look said, his eyes glittering playfully.

Warmth crept up the back of Rin's neck as he thought of their almost-kiss by the warmup pool earlier. _Oh, you're fucking enjoying this. I know you are—_ Rin snorted. _Fine. You want me to be serious? I'll be serious._ He stripped down to his tank top, tossing his warmup jacket at Haru's smug face. Rin thrust a hand through his hair and pulled the mic close, drawing air into his lungs—

They went best of three. The first song was a mixed-metal duet in Japanese and English that he knew pretty well. Takara wasn't a bad singer, but her English pronunciation made Rin shudder. The second song was some vocaloid pop shit that he didn't know at all and muddled his way through. The tie-breaker was all in English, by a popular (female) American singer. For a while, the song topped the charts in Australia, played almost incessantly on the radio.

"This is one of my fight songs, Matsuoka." Takara smirked at him. "You can forfeit now if you want." She fanned herself with one hand, a sheen of sweat on her brow.

Makoto cleared his throat lightly, smiling. "Rin, don't you also…?"

One of Rin's brows twitched. He ignored Makoto and raised the mic. "Like hell I'm letting you win, Sakamoto. Let's do this."

She grinned and drew a breath—

After Takara sang the opening verse, butchering it all to hell, Rin stepped in. _Prepare to be shamed, Sakamoto._ He owned the chorus, even mimicking a few of the artist's dance moves—a couple elbow jabs and mock punches at the air. The stunned look on her face was priceless. As he continued to belt it out, she started to crack up. By the time they got to the bridge, Takara was laughing so hard she couldn't stand up, let alone talk trash or sing. She collapsed onto the nearby couch, shaking with peals of laughter, the mic dropping from her hand and rolling out of reach.

Rin sang both parts for the rest of the song, nailing the English to the pulsing lights and lively, synthetic beats. When the last note rang in the air and he finally lowered the mic, Makoto, Mikoshiba, and Momo were clapping and cheering.

Takara was still gasping for breath and laughing. "Ow! Ow, my stomach—" Tears were running down her face.

Rin's chest was heaving as he breathed, like he'd gotten a real workout. And reducing Sakamoto to stitches felt so good he almost forgot how annoying she was. At the other end of the table, Haru was smiling faintly, phone in hand…

At first, Rin thought Haru was checking something, but the way he was holding the phone—up, aimed at Rin—and looking pleased at the screen—

_Oh, you did not—_

Rin flung the microphone down and launched—

Haru only had time to lift his brows before Rin tackled him against the cushions.

"Haru, delete it!"

Haru blinked up at Rin innocently. "Delete what, Rin?"

"You know what!" Rin pinned Haru down, trying to grab flailing arms.

Haru was laughing with his eyes as they struggled. He managed to slip the phone down the front of his shirt.

Rin paused, eyeing the body beneath him. "Like there's anywhere you can put that where I won't go after it—"

"It's just for me, Rin. I like it. Why can't I keep it?" Haru looked up at him with starry eyes.

Rin grunted, giving his friend a shake. "Damnit! Don't look at me with your fucking pool eyes!" He sat up, crawling off Haru. "If that _ever_ ends up on the internet, I will _end_ you."

"That's good trying to be scary, Rin," Haru said as he got up.

Meanwhile, Takara had somehow righted herself and recovered. "Makoto! Come on, you're next!" She was already reprogramming the machine.

Rin's abandoned microphone ended up in Makoto's hand. The guy laughed uneasily as he got up, the intro to the next song already playing. "Sakamoto-senpai, I can't sing this. The vocalist is so angry…"

Rin grabbed a water bottle off the table and took a long drink. He settled back against the cushions next to Haru, trying to cool off in the warm room.

Haru peeled off his warmup jacket and retrieved his phone from the hem of his T-shirt, tucking it away.

Rin watched which pocket the phone went into.

"I promise I won't embarrass you on the internet, Rin," Haru said, leaning close.

"Whatever, Haru. Just don't—" His words came to an abrupt end as Haru's warm fingers whispered across his cheek, tucking hair behind his ear and burying deep in the strands at the nape of his neck. Rin's breath caught, pleasant shivers raking down his spine. Then Haru's lips were against the side of his jaw. _Oh, fuck_ — He felt that stirring again and there was no mistaking it this time.

Rin's heart only restarted when Haru released him, his breath hissing out through his teeth. Rin glared at the mock-innocent expression Haru wore, only the faintest dusting of pink in his cheeks while Rin's face was _on fire_. _Yeah, you know exactly what you just did._

"Good job, Rin," Haru said.

Rin sucked air. "How the fuck can you just do that?" Unless… _Again,_ Haru said when Takara issued the challenge. _You do it all the time…?_

"Is it weird, Rin?" Haru lowered his voice. "Was it weird yesterday?"

"Look, maybe you do it all the time, but I—"

"What're you talking about?" Haru blinked. "I only agreed because you said you'd win."

"Haru…" Rin started to calm a little. "But earlier, with Sakamoto, you said…"

Haru's eyes flicked towards the ceiling. "Takara's always doing this. Challenging people to stuff. She hates to lose. It gets worse when she's—"

"Come on, Makoto, you can do better than that!" Takara was yelling in the midst of the song. "Use your diaphragm! Your diaphragm!"

"—drunk."

"Ah," Rin said, sitting back.

For a moment, they were quiet, watching the train wreck that was the current song. Poor Makoto looked like he was enduring some kind of torture. Mikoshiba and Momo didn't seem to mind that the performance sucked. They were still drinking—beer and soda, respectively—and swaying in their seats in time with the music. Mikoshiba had an arm slung around his brother's shoulders and they were both laughing. Meanwhile, Makoto continued to fumble through the song.

"Shouldn't you go rescue him or something?" Rin asked.

Haru shrugged. "Makoto's just being dramatic. He's actually really good at singing."

"…Makoto is?"

"Yeah. When he wants to be."

"Huh."

There was a knock on the door. It opened and Sousuke stuck his head in. "Sorry, is—?"

"Sousuke!" Takara abandoned the song and microphone in a flash, leaping over legs until she got to the door. The girl collided with Sousuke, her arms flung around his neck and then she was kissing him full on the lips—

Rin's eyes widened. That was not a 'hi, how are you?' type of kiss. That was a—'I'm glad to see you' kiss. Like, _really_ glad…

Momo gaped, watching, his eyes huge.

" _Oi_ , Takara." Mikoshiba clapped a hand over Momo's eyes. "There're minors present, you know."

Sousuke wasn't turning her down, either, his arms settled around her waist and eyes looking down fondly once their lips parted. "You're drunk, Takara."

Takara pouted. "I am not."

Sousuke straightened, taking her arms from his neck. His gaze landed on Rin. "Rin, can I borrow you for a sec?"

"Uh, sure." Rin got up, grabbing his discarded warmup jacket.

Sousuke withdrew into the hallway. As Rin moved to follow, Takara turned away. She grabbed the closest beer mug off the table and started chugging.

"Hey, Takara, take it easy—" Mikoshiba released Momo to go after her.

Rin pulled the door shut as he stepped out into the hall. It was cooler in the corridor, so he slipped his jacket back on. Other Koutei and Todai students were going in and out of the other dozen or so karaoke rooms on this floor.

Sousuke leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets. "You can find your way back from here, right?"

"Yeah, of course." _Probably better than you can._

Sousuke smiled. "Good. You've got the place to yourself tonight. Something's come up."

Rin arched a brow. No way it was some _thing_ …more like some _one_. "Sousuke. Why didn't you say you were dating someone? I would've found somewhere else to crash—"

"Who said anything about dating, Rin?"

Rin blinked. "…What?"

Sousuke rolled his eyes. "You're such a prude."

Another door down the way opened and a guy in Todai blue and gold warmups stepped out, heading towards the elevators. Kawamura paused to look back, his hands in his pockets. "Yamazaki, you ready?"

It hit Rin like a gut punch as the pieces all came together.

"Yeah," Sousuke called back. "I'll be right there."

Kawamura nodded and continued down the hall.

Rin drew a breath to gather himself. "Must be some pretty hot shoulder therapy in the middle of the night."

Sousuke sighed. "Do I really deserve that, Rin?"

"No." He immediately felt guilty and judgmental. "Sorry, I just… You never said. Why didn't you tell me?"

Sousuke shrugged. "What? It's not like it's important."

"Not important? You're…" _sleeping with the guy._ "And Sakamoto just—"

Sousuke's eyes darkened. "There's nothing between Takara and I, Rin."

Rin slumped back against the wall, in shock. "Sousuke…"

"What? I gotta go." Sousuke turned towards him, leaning close. "Unless…you prefer I didn't…?"

The question hung in the air, but what was Rin going to do? It wasn't his life. He had no business telling Sousuke what he could or couldn't do…

Sousuke exhaled, pushing away from the wall. "Don't read into this. It's just a thing." He lowered his voice, his expression cooling. "We're all just using each other to get what we want." Those dark green eyes narrowed. "Like you and Nanase are any different." Sousuke turned and walked off.

Rin went numb, watching his friend's retreating form. His best friend's… Sousuke disappeared around the corner in the direction of the elevator and didn't come back.

Rin slid down against the wall until he was sitting, grasping strands of hair in his fist as those words swirled in his head. _Using…we're all just using each other… Me and Haru…_ He pulled his hand free, his head hitting the wall as he leaned back. _What the fuck just happened?_

The hall was quiet for a couple of minutes, but that was all. The time and space he needed to gather himself wasn't going to happen here. Rin wrenched himself up as another door down the hall opened, a handful of giggling girls spilling out. It wasn't like he could just leave either. Drawing an uneven breath, he pulled the door to their room open—

Inside, Momo and Mikoshiba were crooning out some song together into the same microphone—Mikoshiba was swaying on his feet and leaning on Momo like he could topple at any moment. The beer sloshing in his hand was perilously close to spilling. Takara was rambling incoherently, curled up in Makoto's lap, punching cushions and…crying? Makoto was rubbing her back, nodding every once in a while. Untouched by the mayhem, Haru was sitting calmly near the door and looked up when Rin entered.

Those blue eyes darkened to the color of arctic sea water when Haru saw his face. Haru got to his feet. "Rin—"

Rin looked away. "It's nothing," he said. "Look, I'll probably—"

"Oh, _you're_ back, huh?" Takara climbed off Makoto—who grunted, getting an elbow in the stomach—and pulled herself upright. She staggered forward, her eyes reddened, but waterproof mascara still flawless. "Why can't you just—"

Rin was not in the mood. "What the fuck is your problem, Sakamoto?"

" _You_ are my problem, Matsuoka." She jabbed a finger into his chest. "You—" Anger flashed across her features and she shoved him messily aside, stumbling towards the door. "Whatever. I'm—" She stomped out into the hall, unsteady on her feet.

"Sakamoto-senpai…" Makoto got up and came to the door, looking worried. "I should probably get her home—"

—And Mikoshiba crashed down onto the cushions, suddenly snoring, the empty beer glass rolling away from his hand.

Momo leaned over him, poking his brother in the cheek. "Nii-chan? You're gonna sleep here? Nii-chan…?"

Makoto gave Rin and Haru a wilted, pleading expression. "…Help?"

-x-

"I'm so kicking your ass for this later," Rin muttered as he dragged his former captain up the street. Mikoshiba was mostly supporting his own weight, his arm heavy across Rin's shoulders, but there was no way the guy could walk on his own.

"Matsuoka, I always knew you were a good guy," Mikoshiba said, his voice slurred and sleepy. "A real…team guy."

Rin rolled his eyes. He gave Haru a look, a _we're-never-getting-drunk-like-this_ look.

Haru nodded. He was carrying Momo on his back, who'd sugar-crashed by the time they'd gotten the two drunkards downstairs.

Takara was totally passed out against Makoto's back, her arms limp over his shoulders, her black hair fanned out like a curtain. Makoto was carrying all the gear bags too and still didn't look encumbered, just smiling happily as they walked.

"You know, Matsuoka, I wouldn't say this if I was sober, but…"

_Then you probably shouldn't say it, you idiot._

"I'm in love with your sister. Like, really in love with your sister."

Rin snorted. _And I'm about to dump your ass on the ground._

Mikoshiba's head bobbed near Rin's right shoulder. "It's not just that she's cute. She's smart, caring, such a hard worker, really driven and helpful. I mean, that protein powder thing's a little weird, but her heart's the right place. I've met a lot of girls. A lot. But none of them are like _her_."

Rin listened quietly. It wasn't like he cared about the guy listing off Gou's desirable qualities—hell, he could pretty much counter all of it with her muscle obsession—but the place those words were coming from… That was something else. It hit him hard as he thought of Sousuke…and whatever the guy was doing with Kawamura tonight. Fuck, he didn't want to think about that.

"…You still gonna hurt me if I try to ask her out?"

Given that Gou was going to school in Osaka, where she'd be around muscles on a daily basis, there probably wasn't much chance of Mikoshiba getting anywhere with her anyways. But Rin found himself not reacting like he usually would, the threats just not coming. Gou was eighteen. He didn't want her to date some jerk who'd just use her, but _Mikoshiba wasn't…_ " _Tch_. Do what you want." _Just don't tell me about it. She's still my sister._

Mikoshiba grinned. "Yeah, I knew you were a good guy."

"Shut up, Mikoshiba."

-x-

Mikoshiba and Takara lived in the same building right on the north edge of the Koutei campus, so getting them (and Momo) situated wasn't so bad. Mikoshiba was awake enough to get himself and Momo to bed; Takara they left with her roommate—a brunette who sighed when she answered the door, like this was a normal thing.

Down by the street, Rin and Haru got their gear bags back from Makoto.

"It's pretty late. Did you guys wanna crash?" Makoto asked. His place was just a block west. "It's cleaned up since this morning. Mostly."

Rin looked away as he looped the strap of his bag over his head. "Thanks, but I should…"

There was a short pause and Rin knew Haru and Makoto were mind-melding again. Whatever.

"'Night, Makoto," Haru said.

"Goodnight, you guys. Thanks," Makoto said.

Rin shoved his hands into his pockets, hunching his shoulders against the slightly chilly breeze as he started down the street.

Haru fell in beside them, the two of them walking in silence except for the sound of their shoes against the pavement.

Sousuke's words were punching Rin in the gut again. _Am I? …Using Haru._ He thought about when they first met as kids, getting Haru to swim the relay with him.

… _I'm leaving tomorrow, so this is the last time we'll swim together. If you swim with me, I'll show you a sight you've never seen before._

…In high school, throwing Haru against the fence… _You're going to swim for me._

…After their first race at prefecturals. _I won, Haru. This means I'll never swim with you again._

He'd been such a fucking asshole back then. Things changed after he self-destructed and Haru rescued him, but even now… _You're still the one I'm aiming for. If you weren't here, could I…?_ Rin swallowed, walking with his head down, looking at his feet. Was Sousuke right? _Am I using you for my dream?_

"…Rin." Haru's hand closed around his arm, stopping him.

Rin looked up and inhaled, face-to-face with the light pole he was about to walk right into. _Fuck_. He ran fingers roughly through his hair. "Thanks."

Haru tugged on his arm. "Come on," he said, leading the way through the Koutei campus.

-x-

The next time Rin looked up, they'd stopped in front of a campus building, not Haru's apartment. Rin lifted a brow as he read the building sign. _Sports complex…_ "Haru…"

Haru stepped up to the double doors and unlocked them. He opened the right-hand door and looked back, waiting.

Rin sighed. He followed Haru through the darkened corridors and down a set of stairs. They pushed through another set of doors to the Koutei pool.

Three of the four walls were glass, in geometric shapes that curved from the floor, blending into the glass ceiling. It was a 25m pool, sans ropes at the moment, the water glossy smooth. Haru didn't bother with lights or anything, just dropped his gear bag and stripped down to his jammers, diving into the water.

Rin rubbed his forehead. " _Oi_ , Haru—"

"Come in here." Haru was floating on his back, bluish in the darkness. "The water will help you relax."

Rin dropped his hand. "Water's not like that for everyone you know."

"Just get in."

 _Whatever._ Rin exhaled and peeled off his clothes, down to his leg skins, leaving his stuff in a pile. He dove into the cool water, turning onto his back as he surfaced and opening his eyes.

He drew breath at the sight of the moon—just a sliver in the inky-black sky, accompanied by the blinking red lights that topped the nearby buildings and the occasional white-green pulse of jet lights cutting across the sky. The water lapped gently against his body as he floated; he could feel his limbs relaxing. "I never do this…"

"See?"

Haru… The heaviness came back, weighing on his brow and shoulders.

"What's bothering you?"

Rin didn't answer.

"He did something? Yamazaki."

It was that obvious, huh? Rin closed his eyes, his chest aching, as he watched Sousuke walk away again behind his eyelids. "I just…thought I knew everything about my best friend. Turns out I don't." His voice broke softly. "Not even close." This wasn't the first time, either. _You didn't tell me about your shoulder…_ Now, it was Kawamura and Sakamoto and who knew what else… Rin's eyes burned as he opened them, the sky blurring through the glass ceiling. _Our friendship isn't what I thought it was_. He'd be lying if he said that didn't fucking _sting_ …

The water rippled beside him, flowing over his right shoulder. Haru's fingers closed around Rin's wrist. Rin inhaled thickly as emotion caught in his throat. Haru didn't say anything and he was grateful. They drifted in silence beneath the dark sky and blinking lights. After a while, he twisted his wrist to loosen Haru's grasp, clutching Haru's hand instead. When Haru's hand curled firmly around his, squeezing back, breathing got easier, somehow…


	6. 3500 meter uncertain free

Monday, April 11th, 2016

* * *

Haru woke to a persistent buzzing sound from somewhere nearby. On his back, he shifted beneath the blankets, his body oddly encumbered, feeling soft, rhythmic breaths stirring his hair—

Startled, Haru opened his eyes, meeting dim, gray daylight and strands of garnet hair spilled across his pillow… The air left his lungs slowly as the initial shock dissipated, Rin's arm—draped heavy across his midsection—moving slightly against his skin as he exhaled. They were nestled together under the covers of Haru's bed, Rin curled towards him, their legs tangled from the knees down. He could feel the smooth fabric of Rin's leg skins against his shins as well as the familiar constriction of his own jammers around his waist and thighs. Haru relaxed against sheets that smelled like chlorine, recalling vague memories of 4am and stumbling back from the Koutei pool, half asleep. For a moment, he gazed at Rin—at eyelashes resting against cheeks warmed by the Australian sun, just the top half of Rin's head peeking out from the blankets—enjoying the quiet pleasure of the moment…

Until the phone rang again. Haru closed his eyes and sighed. Undoubtedly, it was Makoto calling. Usually Makoto would just drop by, but… _You watched us leave together last night._ Haru's best friend wasn't stupid. After interrupting them at the warmup pool yesterday—the abruptly halted steps and flush in fair cheeks made it obvious Makoto knew exactly what he'd walked in on, even as Momo was completely oblivious…

Haru glanced at the clock on the windowsill, at glowing aqua numerals reading _11:37_. _I should get up._ …Though he didn't want to. The temptation to stay curled up with Rin was pretty strong. It wasn't like sharing a bed as kids and it felt completely different from the camping trips and field trips when he'd woken to find Makoto had claimed his hand or his arm, or a handful of his T-shirt. What exactly it was, this feeling, he hadn't labeled it yet, but he liked it. He was conscious enough to admit that there was _Rin_ and there was _everyone else_ and the gulf between the two was growing wider every day. …But he ought to spare his friend the awkwardness. Rin was going to be embarrassed either way, but he'd be less embarrassed if he were the only one in the bed when he woke up.

Haru pushed the covers back, shivering at the sudden influx of chilly air against his skin in stark contrast to the warmth of tangled limbs. He slid towards the edge of the bed, trying to extract himself as carefully as possible—

The arm around him tightened, fingers grasping his waist briefly as Rin grunted his protest. Haru's breath caught, the possibility of Rin already being awake sending a thrill through him—

But Rin only mumbled something unintelligible, frowning in his sleep, and his arm went limp again.

Haru sobered. _You usually don't sleep this late._ Even accounting for the time they'd gone to bed… _You're still upset._ He felt a twinge of guilt for his stray thoughts, pushing them aside as he got up and drew the covers over his friend.

To ward off the cold, he pulled on his favorite hooded sweatshirt—blue with a gray dolphin on the front—and finally retrieved his buzzing warmup jacket from the floor. Their discarded clothing was strewn across the _tatami_ mats and the table. Haru freed the phone from the right front pocket of the jacket, answering the call with a tap.

He moved away from the bed as he lifted the phone to his ear. "Hey."

" _Haru!"_ Makoto sounded surprised. _"Sorry, I was beginning to think you wouldn't answer."_

"I can't talk much," he said, making his way to the glass balcony doors and slipping the latch. Haru drew the door aside and stepped out into a wall of cold mist, the mat damp beneath his feet. The day was steel-gray and overcast, with low hanging clouds. "Rin's still asleep."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, not unexpectedly. Makoto had been weird around Rin all day yesterday. _And given what you think happened last night…_ Haru didn't bother to correct the assumption.

" _Oh, well, I won't keep you long_ ," Makoto said with forced cheer in his voice. " _I was just hoping, if you have time today…you and I could talk?_ "

Haru tensed a little. Makoto never asked to 'talk.' He could hear the worry in Makoto's voice, even though his friend was trying to hide it. "…Yeah, we can talk." Makoto would be hurt if he didn't agree.

" _OK, great!_ " Makoto's voice brightened. " _I have classes all afternoon, but I'll text you later. Will that work?_ "

"Sure." A cold breeze sifted through his hair.

" _Alright. Thanks, Haru. Have a good day, OK?_ "

"Yeah." Haru lowered the phone, turning to go back inside. His gaze caught on the four podium bouquets gathered in one corner of the balcony, raindrops clinging to lemon-colored petals and pale green leaves. It didn't look like the birds had touched them. What were they supposed to do with those things? He and Rin had three more of the bouquets between them, after last night's 50m final and Rin's 100m fly final.

He pushed through the patterned curtains and closed the door behind him, mist clinging to his clothes and exposed skin. In bed, Rin had shifted to hug his pillow, but was still asleep.

Haru left his phone on the table and went to use the bathroom. He washed up and splashed cool water against his cheeks, drying off with a small towel. The mirror above the sink reflected his face and the _ofuro_ behind him, filled with clear water, perfectly still… His fingers curled into the fabric of the towel. When was the last time he got to sit in the bath? Yesterday _morning_. Even then, he had to get out _early_ to meet his parents. Haru pressed suddenly dry lips, turning to stare head-on at the surface of the water. To be fair, he'd spent a lot of time in the pool (three pools) yesterday with Rin. But that was different water. _That_ water wasn't here right now.

He was halfway across the tile floor when he heard sheets rustling out in the other room. Tearing himself from the water (for now), Haru turned and ducked beneath the curtains. There was still a mound beneath the covers, but Rin was awake. Haru could see him blinking amidst the strands of hair that fell in his eyes while he stared off into the distance. Rin remained on his side, though he was curled a little tighter than before. The _absence_ of energy and vitality Haru sensed was alarming, setting off all kinds of sirens in his head. Rin only shut down like this when something was really bothering him.

Haru approached slowly, sitting down on the side of the bed. "Rin?"

"Haru." Rin's voice came out quiet and flat. "Am I using you to swim for me?"

The question didn't make any sense at all. Haru shifted to lie down next to Rin on the bed, stretched out on his side on top of the covers so he could see his friend's face.

Rin's eyes were dull and weighed-down, shadowed with fatigue.

 _You're serious…_ "You know I only swim free."

Rin inhaled, his eyes softening and going glossy with emotion. "Yeah. I know." He turned onto his back beneath the blankets, laying his forearm across his face, and didn't say anything else.

Haru's eyes narrowed. What was Yamazaki thinking? Whatever the guy had done, Haru didn't care, but for someone who went on and on about not getting in Rin's way and protecting Rin's dream… _Do you even realize you're the one hurting him?_ Yamazaki could be so clueless. Haru's fingers curled. He rarely got angry and holding a grudge took way too much energy and effort, but he frosted over, thinking about Rin's best friend and words said two weeks ago. _"Rin's coming home to realize his dream. Don't distract him, Nanase. His dream's far more important than your little crush on him."_ The year-end party was a joint Koutei-Todai event. He ran into Yamazaki in the hall… Haru wasn't bothered by what Yamazaki said about him; the guy was free to think or assume whatever he wanted. But Yamazaki didn't get it. _You think you're helping Rin, but you're just adding your dream onto his shoulders. You're not letting him be free._

Haru slid a little closer, slowly, the mattress dipping as he shifted his weight, so Rin wouldn't be alarmed at his approach. If water had the same effect on Rin as it had on him, Haru would've suggested the bath. But Rin got physical when he got emotional and, though Haru wasn't sure Rin was even aware of it himself, it was physical contact that helped Rin relax. Haru knew that from back when they were kids. Granted, things were different now. Rin might not want to be comforted and might not be willing to receive it. But that was fine. He should be free to accept it or reject it, respond to it or not—as much or a little as he wanted.

Wordlessly, Haru curled his right arm around his friend's body—blankets and all. He felt Rin stiffen and waited without breathing for Rin to decide if this was OK or not…

After a few seconds, Rin let out a deep breath, sinking into the bed as Haru felt tension leave his friend's limbs.

Haru relaxed, glad that Rin was letting him do this, letting him help. He closed his eyes and tucked his arm more comfortably around Rin, squeezing a little and inhaling the scent of chlorine that still clung to them both.

For several moments, neither of them moved nor spoke. Haru felt the rise-fall of Rin's chest beneath his arm, the rhythm of Rin's breaths going from irregular hitches and sharp draws…to slow and steady.

Rin eventually sighed. "Haru. You have classes today?"

"No," Haru said, opening his eyes and watching as Rin brushed a few strands of hair aside with his right hand. "I only have one course this semester and I don't have to go so long as I turn in my assignments."

Rin turned beneath Haru's arm until they were face-to-face, tucking his right elbow under his head for a pillow. The skin around Rin's eyes was a little red, but his expression looked more normal, more open, more _him_. "What is it?"

"Drawing." Their knees bumped gently, cushioned by the blankets separating them. The heat from the proximity of their bodies, even through the covers, was really…nice.

Rin arched a brow. "What, like pools and stuff?"

"No… The assistant professor threatened to make me transfer to Architecture if I did that."

Rin's gaze warmed. "And you don't want to? You could design and build pools, you know."

"I thought about it." Haru shrugged. "Maybe someday. Right now, though, it's—"

"—Too much effort." A rumble of amusement went through Rin's body, beneath Haru's arm. "Then what are you drawing?"

"Stuff _in_ —"

"—water," they said in unison, Rin's voice mixing with his own. Rin laughed softly, breaking into a smile. "Of course you are. I should've known."

Haru inhaled, the sight of Rin's genuine smile making him think of Bondi Beach and ocean waves at dawn and back when they were kids… _When you smiled all the time._ He tried to keep the happiness it brought him from showing in his eyes, because Rin was only going to be get embarrassed if he said stuff like that aloud, but—

Rin was suddenly peering at him intently—almost suspiciously.

Haru feigned ignorance. "What?"

Rin's eyes narrowed faintly. "Don't _what_ me." Rin's other arm left the blankets, warm fingers suddenly in Haru's face, messing with his hair. "I'll wipe that smug look off your face."

"Nn—" Haru knocked Rin's hand away.

" _Tch_." Rin pushed the covers back—

Then it was full-on wrestling—shoving, rolling, grunting, blankets kicked to the foot of the bed—

It ended with Rin on his back, both of them breathing hard. Haru was poised over his friend on his hands and knees, pinning Rin's left wrist above his head. Their other hands were locked together against rumpled sheets. Haru's right knee parted Rin's. He drew slow breaths, caught off-guard by the scent of chlorine warmed by physical exertion. It was hard not to think about last night, the way Rin eyed him when their positions were reversed on the couch at karaoke…or the way it felt with Rin's pulse beneath his lips, hearing his friend's unstable exhale… Heat gathered in Haru's face. He shouldn't be thinking that way now, not when Rin was upset. But—

Rin went still beneath him, a deep carmine blush darkening his cheeks. The flicker in his eyes and an uneven draw of breath between parted lips made Haru wonder if Rin was thinking similar thoughts. But then Rin's expression clouded and, except for a trace of desire, Haru couldn't read him anymore. It was different from their near-kiss at the warmup pool. Rin's face then had been surprised, maybe a little unsure, but curious and willing. There hadn't been any sense of guardedness as there was now.

With an exhale, Haru let go, crawling off and sitting back on his heels to give Rin some space. "I'm allowed to like it when you smile, aren't I?"

Rin grunted as he sat up, taming his hair with his fingers and looking away. "Damnit, Haru," he muttered, but Haru saw the tension in his frame ease a little.

Haru dismissed the trace of disappointment he felt. The timing was bad anyways. _Right now I just want you to feel better_. He moved to the edge of the bed, swinging his legs over and settling his feet on the floor. "We have the day off. I was gonna hit the gym, the pool, go for a run, do laundry… That kind of stuff." He paused, glancing at Rin. "Wanna come? I can sign you in to Koutei facilities." He didn't mention dinner. Whatever else was going on, he didn't want Rin feeling pressured about that.

Rin stretched his arms over his head until his shoulders popped. "What, we're not gonna sneak around again?" He swung his arms as he lowered them.

Haru frowned. "Not during the day…" He looked at the clock. "The gym's pretty crowded over the lunch hour, but—"

Rin followed his gaze. "It's fucking _noon_?!" He leapt off the bed and started gathering up his gear.

Haru watched Action-Rin for a moment. At this rate… He stood up, backing towards the bathroom. "I'm just gonna—"

" _No_." A bundle of clothes hit him in the face. "No bath."

Haru stopped, glaring at his friend and letting the navy blue warmup pants fall to his feet.

Rin was kneeling on the floor next to his open gear bag, digging around inside. "Run, breakfast, pool. In that order." He donned a tank top and started taming his hair into a ponytail. "So get dressed."

"Nn…" Haru debated being difficult, but only for about half a second. Getting into a who-was-more-stubborn contest with Rin wasn't likely to end well. He turned for the closet.

A phone buzzed—not his this time.

"Ah, shit, where—"

Haru watched from the corner of his eye as Rin snatched his warmups off the floor and searched several pockets until he came up with his phone.

Rin straightened as he glanced at the device, his face suddenly brightening with delight. He quickly lifted the phone to his ear. "Lori!"

Haru pushed a few hanging T-shirts out of the way as Rin stepped into the kitchen.

Rin leaned against the sink, switching to rapid English. _"Yes! Thank you!" (Something-something) "…dream…"_

Haru pulled his running gear from the closet.

_"That's right!" (English.) "…Rio…" (More English.)_

He really should've paid more attention in English class at Iwatobi. But was it his fault the classroom had an ocean view? They could've picked a room without windows.

 _"…starting tomorrow."_ There was a pause. _"Yes! I think we'll be…"_

Carrying his change of clothes, Haru ducked into the bathroom and started peeling off his sweatshirt.

_"Oh, Lori— …Christmas… …Haru and I…"_

Haru's breath caught. He heard _that_. He paused with his sweatshirt half-off, straining to listen to Rin's excited chatter.

_"Great!" (Lots more English.) "I want to… …Haru… …He's—"_

_Damnit._ Haru gave up, yanking the sweatshirt over his head and tossing it into the laundry bin to wash later. It wasn't like his comprehension was awful, but why'd Rin have to talk so fast? He stripped off his Koutei jammers, gazing longingly at the bath while he dressed in his running gear—knee-length shorts and a long-sleeved shirt in white, blue, and black. It felt so weird wearing regular underwear.

_"…Thanks for calling, Lori! Tell Russell I said, 'Hi,' OK?"_

He got that bit, at least.

_"…Bye!"_

Haru grabbed one of his favorite black and purple swimsuits for the pool later. He headed back out into the other room.

Rin was smiling, one hip perched against the kitchen counter, lithe in black and red leg skins and a dark gray tank top. Crimson eyes flicked his way as he exited the bathroom, Rin's smile going sly. "Haru, did you catch all that?"

 _You purposely…_ Haru frowned, his cheeks heating from the embarrassment and frustration. "A little."

Rin snorted with amusement, straightening away from the counter. He returned his phone to his jacket, stuffing the garment into his gear bag, and came up with a handful of clothes.

As Rin passed him for the bathroom, Haru inhaled. "You're not gonna tell me?"

Rin just grinned, giving him a look that made him forget how to breathe. "Better study, Haru." He disappeared beneath the curtains.

 _Damnit_. Haru exhaled slowly, deliberately calming himself, and went to grab a pair of socks.

-x-

A light rain was falling as they headed down to the street and started to run—just the way Haru liked it. He had his running shirt zipped up to his throat for warmth, but reveled in the feel of the droplets striking his hair and face and sliding against his skin. It was breezy, too.

" _Tch_." Rin was rolling his eyes again, pulling the brim of his cap lower on his brow.

They ran north along the narrow street, dodging the few people who were out and about. The neighborhood was pretty quiet. After a bit they turned east and paused, waiting to cross the major thoroughfare between his place and the Koutei campus. Cars and small delivery trucks zipped by, windshield wipers going.

"There isn't a pedestrian bridge?" Rin frowned at the light.

"It's a ways south," Haru said, wiping rain from his brow. "There's a lot of stairs."

"Wuss." Rin grinned at him. "Let's go."

"Nn." Haru followed as Rin picked up the pace.

Eventually, they ended up on campus, threading their way through groups of students headed for lunch or class. Their sneakers made slapping sounds against the wet brick. Haru kept up, but _damn_ Rin liked to run hard. He preferred to jog with sprints interspersed, saving his hardest workout for the pool. But Rin kept a grueling pace from the start and made it look easy. It was probably why Rin could swim 50m with one breath and still have reserves to win 100m of fly. Haru wasn't about to concede anything, though, surging past his friend and leading the way deeper onto campus grounds between multi-story buildings of white concrete and glass.

Later, when he started to get tired, he turned them down a lane that led towards the campus entrance. They spilled out onto a broad plaza of red bricks with gradual steps down towards a circular fountain. The plaza was lined with cherry trees losing their blossoms to the wind and rain—a shower of pale pink _sakura_ petals that clung to whatever surface they touched.

Haru ran about a quarter of the way down the plaza when he sensed that Rin had stopped. He slowed to a walk, breathing hard as he looked back.

Rin stood two steps down from the top of the plaza, gazing at the trees with wide eyes. His breath misted in the cool air, his chest heaving, his hands curled at his sides.

Haru turned fully, committing the scene to memory down to the tiniest detail of the scattered petals clinging to Rin's black running gear…so he could draw it later. Rin was never going to know about _that_ sketchbook. It was bad enough that Makoto stumbled onto it once when they were hanging out at Haru's apartment. He'd since found a better hiding place. There was nothing racy or too mortifying in there, were someone to find it, but there was more than one drawing of Rin with petals in his hair.

For the moment, they were alone. Haru walked up the stairs towards his friend, feeling saucy, and cocked a brow. "What, you're taking a break?"

" _Haru_." Scarlet eyes flashed murder at him just before Rin lunged—

Haru bent his knees to absorb the impact as Rin crashed into him, his friend's arm encircling his neck.

Their faces were close as Rin glared at him, the brim of Rin's cap grazing Haru's forehead. " _You_ were the one huffing and puffing back there. I'm pretty sure you brought me here on purpose."

Haru softened his face, dropping the tease and liking the way Rin was all but pressed against him. "I wanted to show you. A few more windy days like this and it'll all be gone."

Rin inhaled audibly, the annoyance gone from his expression in an instant, replaced by a stunned look that was replete with emotion. His voice came out as a whisper. "Haru…"

Heartbeats and breaths pluming between them filled the space of seconds as they held one another's gaze. It felt like the warmup pool after their tie in the 50m.

 _You never told me what you wanted, Rin._ He wanted to say it out loud, but the moment felt too fragile to handle such forward words. Instead, Haru slowly reached up, watching Rin's Adams apple work in a swallow as he plucked a slick petal from damp, burgundy strands, holding it captive between his index and middle fingers.

Rin was holding his breath—Haru could feel it in the stillness of his friend's limbs. Crimson eyes darkened in the shadow of Rin's cap, eyelids lowering halfway as Rin's gaze followed a raindrop that slid down Haru's face. Haru felt it leave a wet trail down the curve of his cheek, gliding just shy of his mouth before it dripped from his jaw. …But Rin's eyes stopped at Haru's lips. It was his turn to hitch a breath, his fingers curling, the petal crushed in his palm—

Every part of him wanted it, suddenly impatient for the feel of Rin's mouth against his own…but from a distance he heard footsteps and chatter. They were never going to have their first real kiss in the middle of the Koutei campus during lunch hour.

Rin seemed to realize it at the same moment, breaking from Haru abruptly and tugging on the brim of his cap as if that could hide the flush that came into his cheeks.

Haru exhaled in a controlled fashion, feeling heat lining his collar and his heart running rapid in his chest in a way that had nothing to do with their actual _run_. Rin turned away from him, but not before Haru caught a glimpse of that same shuttered expression as before. Disappointment and confusion swirled inside him; he wished he could tell what Rin was thinking.

A group of girls huddled under umbrellas rounded the corner, talking amongst themselves as they started down the plaza, their heels and boots making clicking sounds against the wet bricks. Lost in their own world, the girls passed the Olympians obliviously and kept going.

Haru shook his head to fling the water from his face and hair. "…Breakfast?"

Rin's voice was quiet. "Yeah."

-x-

They sucked down fruit smoothies packed with protein powder on the way back to Haru's place to grab their gear, then headed on to the pool. Haru signed Rin in as a guest, the student receptionist's eyes lighting with recognition, though she didn't say anything about it. In the locker room, they changed into their swimsuits and warmed up in the showers. A hot shower was the best thing after a run in the cold rain. …At least it used to be. Haru glanced furtively at Rin, whose back was turned to him, watching the water run in rivulets through creases of skin and muscle. Kissing Rin would've kept him warm for a long time. His breath mingled with the steam in the room as he turned his face back into the spray.

The 25m pool was less crowded than it usually was on a Monday afternoon. Only half of the lanes were roped off, the rest of the pool open to casual swimmers. The Koutei swim team wasn't practicing today.

He caught Rin looking around. "What?"

"Nn." Rin rubbed the back of his neck, his goggles resting against his throat. His swim cap was tucked into the waistband of his leg skins. "Nothing. Just hoping I won't run into someone."

Given that Mikoshiba and Momo were swimming in one of the lanes, it couldn't have been them. "Takara?"

Rin grimaced.

Haru donned his swim cap. "Pretty sure she's still hung over. What's your usual workout?"

Rin perched a hand on his hip, gazing out across the pool, his face thoughtful. He was slipping into captain mode, whether he realized it or not. "Well, given the time, we should probably limit ourselves to between three thousand and thirty-five hundred meters and keep it short."

"Nn." _It's our day off._

"We need a—" Rin scanned the room. "Oh, there." He took off towards the free-standing whiteboard on the left side of the room, nearest the lanes.

Haru followed, already regretting asking. He pulled on his goggles, leaving them perched on his forehead.

Half the board was taken up with Mikoshiba's scrawl in blue marker; Mikoshiba and Momo were working on backstroke in the third lane.

"…Rin-senpai!" Momo's voice was muffled by the water. "R…-se…pai…"

"Momotarou! Less talking, more swimming!" Mikoshiba yelled.

Rin grabbed a red marker, glancing at the Mikoshiba brothers' workout set. When he grinned, Haru braced himself…

"We'll warmup with three hundred free and three hundred kick, drill, choice…" Rin said as he wrote. "And start the main with a breathing set."

" _Nn_."

Rin's eyes flicked his way, warm with amusement. He turned back to the board. "Eight twenty-five's, four fifty's, two hundred's, and a two hundred, breathing three-five-seven-nine, with every fifth length all out no breaths."

Haru frowned a little.

"We'll follow that with an aerobic set. Four twenty-five's building, two seventy-five's race pace, and four fifty's descending. We'll do that twice with a thirty second rest. For the stroke set—"

"I only swim—"

Rin rolled his eyes. "For the stroke set, free in your case and fly in mine, we'll do eight one-twenty-five's, fifty stroke and seventy-five free, per. Speed on the stroke." He underlined the _50_ he'd written.

_Damnit._

"…And finish up with two hundred for cool down." Rin capped the marker and turned, smiling. "How's that sound?"

Haru folded his arms, looking at the fourteen lines of red text in Rin's handwriting, versus the five lines in blue ink Mikoshiba had written. He gave Rin a pointed glance.

Rin chuckled. "Well, I _guess_ I could go easy on you. If you're not ready for a real workout…"

"I didn't say that," Haru muttered, heading for the nearest open lane.

Rin's footsteps followed him. "…Or we can get you down to one breath in the fifty without it taking everything you've got."

Haru climbed onto the starting block.

Rin, close behind him, lowered his voice. "Your choice, Haru." The words in sultry tones made a shiver run down Haru's spine, giving him a flash of stray thought…of Rin's fingertips gliding along the muscles in his back, of Rin's breath against his neck—

Haru checked his imagination with a slow exhale. _Don't think I'm letting you get away with that…_ He rolled his shoulders, owning the heat in his face, and glanced back at the grinning shark standing behind him. "I can handle whatever you come up with." He smoothed his voice to a quiet purr as he reached for his goggles. "You don't need to hold out on me, Rin."

Rin sucked air and blushed dark. Clearing his throat roughly, he looked away. "Stop stalling and get in the fucking pool."

Haru smiled to himself as he pressed his goggles into place and dove in.

-x-

He'd sleep well tonight—that was for sure. Haru climbed out of the pool, stripping off his cap and goggles and shaking the water from his hair. He caught his breath slowly, famished and tired but feeling good—like he'd really pushed it.

There was a splash behind him as Rin got out. A wet arm draped across his shoulders.

"Haru, I knew you'd keep up." Rin was smiling broadly, shoving water and dripping hair from his face with his free hand. "I always knew you were capable of so much more if you seriously tried."

"Nn." Haru tore his gaze away, though he really liked seeing Rin so happy. "I'm always serious when I swim with you."

Rin laughed softly, squeezing him a little. "Me too." He moved off then, grabbing towels for them both.

Haru caught the bundle Rin tossed at him. "I'm hungry. I wanna eat before we go to the gym."

Rin exhaled in an apparent attempt to look exasperated, but his smile was ruining the effect. "Fine, Haru. Let's get you fed."

They toweled off and headed for the showers.

After lunch and a short break, Haru led the way to the gym. He wore a T-shirt and black, knee-length shorts, while Rin wore a tank top and long pants. The weight room was pretty well ventilated, but it still smelled like a gym. Haru crinkled his nose briefly, preferring the scent of chlorine.

Momo was lying on the bench in a yellow-trimmed white tank top and bright orange shorts. He was breathing hard and struggling to lift the bar while Mikoshiba spotted him. "But I…don't wanna…do…another one, Nii-chan!"

Mikoshiba was standing behind the bench in a tank top and skin-tight shorts, both black. "Come on, Momotarou! Put some effort into it! You wanna impress Gou-kun with your muscles, don't you?"

Rin made a growling sound. "You guys—"

"Gou- _san_ …" Momo shoved, getting the bar up, the weights rattling as his arms shook.

"You're not going to get them to stop," Haru said, eyeing the other machines and benches that were currently open.

" _Tch_." Rin rubbed the back of his neck and turned away from the siblings, surveying… Something caught his eye and he dropped his arm, perching his hand on his hip. "How many can you do, Haru?"

Haru followed his gaze to the pull up bars. "More than you."

That familiar competitive spark lit in Rin's eyes. " _Right_. Show me."

"Sure."

They claimed adjacent bars, pausing to chalk their hands before jumping up and starting to count in unison…

It was after four by the time they were done with everything and walked outside carrying their gear bags. The rain had let up, though it was still cloudy. Haru's phone was in the pocket of his navy blue warmup jacket—he figured Makoto would be texting him soon. Beside him, Rin walked with his hands in the pockets of his black and red warmups; both of them had damp hair from the showers.

"I have to buy some art supplies from the bookstore," Haru said.

"Mm. For your drawing class?"

"Yeah."

Rin flicked a couple strands of hair back from his face. "You don't ever get tired of drawing water?"

"No." Haru held the strap of his gear bag against his chest. "Sometimes I draw people." He glanced aside at his friend. "Wanna model for me?"

Rin grunted and blushed. "No way."

"You'll drop everything to pose for fan pictures, but modeling for artwork is weird?"

"Nn…" Rin kicked the ground with the toe of his sneaker, hunched forward a little and frowning. "It's different."

Well, to be fair, he wasn't keen on _either_. "Mikoshiba and Takara do it all the time. The art school likes asking swimmers to model."

Rin inhaled. "You mean, like…nudes?"

"It's an art school." Haru shrugged. "It's up to the model. Mikoshiba always comes in his speedo. Takara usually wears _something_ , depending on the pose. They keep asking Makoto to do it, but he always refuses."

" _Haru_."

He stopped and turned, realizing Rin had fallen behind.

Rin's face was red, his ruby eyes dark and glaring. "You don't do it, do you?"

 _The thought bothers you, Rin?_ "I don't like being in front of the camera. You think I'd do _that_?"

Rin's shoulders lowered as he exhaled, his expression smoothing. "Oh. Yeah, guess not."

Haru lifted a brow, opening his mouth to ask— But his phone buzzed in his pocket. _Makoto._ Haru fished it out.

"Look, Haru. I've got some stuff to do," Rin said. "I'll call later, OK?"

"OK." Haru deliberately kept his face easy as Rin waved and walked away. Dinner was definitely not going to happen. He ignored the flare of disappointment with a slow breath, in and out. Whatever, it was fine. He glanced at Makoto's text.

_[Just about done here. When can you meet up?]_

Haru tapped a quick reply. _[Now or whenever. I was just headed to the bookstore to grab stuff.]_

Makoto's response was immediate. _[OK! I'll meet you there when you're done.]_

He slipped the phone back into his pocket, exhaling as he headed off.

-x-

When Haru left the store, carrying his paper bag of supplies, Makoto was waiting for him outside.

Makoto was smiling as usual, with his backpack slung over his right shoulder and a folded up umbrella in his left hand. He wore a light jacket over a red plaid shirt and dark gray jeans. "Hey, Haru."

"Hey." Haru joined his friend and they started walking through the courtyard in the general direction of the plaza. "How was class?"

"Good! It'll be a busy semester, but I'll get to work with some kids as part of my practical this year, so I'm excited."

He felt Makoto looking at him.

"How was your day off?" Makoto asked.

"Rin and I did thirty-five hundred in the pool, a couple hours at the gym…" He shrugged. "It was good." He caught, from the corner of his eye, the way Makoto's smile faltered briefly. Haru slowed his steps, Makoto stopping at the same time he did. "What did you want to talk about?" Bracing against a gust of cooler wind, he slipped his hands into his pockets and faced his best friend.

Makoto's face smoothed. The bridge of his nose had a faint line from the glasses he wore in class.

Haru watched his best friend hesitate. "It's about Rin," he said, because it was. "What is it you're worried about?" He knew he wasn't going to get a lecture about safe sex or anything like that. Makoto didn't 'mom' that hard.

Makoto exhaled, glancing away, his voice dropping to a soft monotone. "I can't ever keep things from you, can I?" He lifted his head, his green eyes heavy as he met Haru's gaze. "Haru… I just don't want to see you get hurt."

 _Hurt?_ Haru waited, quiet. The wind picked up again, ruffling the collar of his warmup jacket, sifting cold through his mostly-dry hair.

"I know how you feel about Rin," Makoto said. "And I don't think…"

Haru blinked slowly. _I don't even know how I feel about Rin. How can you know?_

Makoto paused, his eyes softening. "Haru, it's obvious. I saw your sketchbook, remember? But even before then, I…"

"Nn." Haru looked away.

Makoto sighed quietly. "Haru, I…" He seemed to struggle with the words. "I don't think it's the same for Rin. I think he just… I mean, I think for him it's just—"

Haru exhaled, trying to ignore a sudden flutter of nerves. _What are you getting at?_ "Makoto—"

Makoto drew a breath, the words coming out rapidly. "I think it's only about what he can _get_ from you, Haru. You know, physically, and not about pursuing any kind of relationship. He's just…"

 _You don't know him at all._ Haru's hands curled, the handle of his shopping bag crushed against the palm of his right hand. "Rin would never use me like that."

"I didn't want to think so either, but—" Makoto's voice rose in pitch, his words unsteady. "He's my friend, too, and I never would've thought that— I never _wanted_ to think that."

 _You weren't there. You didn't see what I saw this morning; you didn't hear what he asked me._ He wouldn't ever forget it. _And that was only about swimming._ "Makoto, he wouldn't do that." Haru looked up at his friend, a hot ache running through his chest.

Makoto's face was creased with distress. "Haru, I _said_ I didn't want to believe it. But I _heard_ him say it—"

Haru inhaled, shaking his head. "What are you _talking_ about—"

"—that he _doesn't_ want to fall in love."

It was like a slap in the face, like ice water poured down his spine. Haru went stock-still, his best friend's words fading into the sudden silence between them. _Who said anything about falling in love? I've never even…_ Love wasn't ever a word Haru had used when thinking about Rin and he wasn't about to start now. But there was still a flash of pain that went through him, a tight feeling in his chest—

"Haru…" Makoto reached out for his left arm.

Haru flinched back. "He said that…to you?"

Makoto's arm fell back to his side. "No. I overheard. I didn't mean to, but…" Makoto hung his head, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I'm glad I did. He knows you too well. He knows exactly what to say, exactly how to push you… It was after you guys were talking about Sydney." Makoto's eyes were miserable and glossy as he raised his head. "I know you don't want to see it. But what if he's just…toying with you?"

 _How could you say that?_ Haru trembled. He was angry and being angry made him afraid and being angry _with Makoto_ felt like tearing himself in two. The air was suddenly hard to breathe and his eyes were burning. He was losing it—losing control and that couldn't happen. He _didn't_ get emotional, he _didn't_ fall apart. He _didn't_ fight with his best friend—but it was all coming apart and he didn't know what to do except that he needed to leave—

"Haru!" Makoto grabbed his arm that time, but Haru wrenched free.

"You're wrong," he said, the words coming out wavering and broken as he backed away. "We haven't even…" _kissed._ He saw Makoto's eyes go wide and it was the last thing, because then he turned and walked away swiftly…wanting to run, but he couldn't because there were people around. He had to get somewhere _safe_ and that wasn't the pool for once, because fighting with Makoto already felt like drowning.

Makoto didn't follow him and the rest was a blur of buildings, streets, and stairs…until he was curled up in the comforting darkness, in rumpled sheets that smelled like chlorine and Rin.

-x-

The phone buzzed. Haru opened his eyes slowly—eyes that felt gritty and a little raw. The room was bathed in twilight and the glow of street lamps, since he hadn't bothered to draw the curtains. His phone was vibrating on the table, face down, next to the paper bag of art supplies that spilled when he tossed it there. Pencils and erasers were scattered across the table. His warmup jacket and gear bag had been thrown to the floor, his shoes discarded haphazardly in the entryway. He was a tight ball under thick covers in his T-shirt and warmup pants, his pillow clutched to his chest.

His phone kept buzzing. He wasn't going to answer it. Makoto would be calling to apologize, or at least to check on him, but he wasn't ready to talk yet. It still hurt too much. Haru hugged the pillow tighter as the phone rang and rang… When it finally stopped, he exhaled, relieved. He just wanted to be left alone.

Haru rolled onto his back, loosening his grip on the pillow, his eyes flicking to the clock on the windowsill. It was after 6:30pm. So he'd slept a little… He should really think about eating something, but he had no appetite at all.

Makoto was wrong about Rin using him…but that didn't mean his best friend was wrong about everything. If Rin really said that…then maybe some things started to make sense. …Like the way Rin shut down on him when they flirted, earlier. _But why are you flirting with me in the first place if you don't…_ Haru sighed, blinking at the featureless ceiling that reflected the glow of the lights outside. It wasn't like he needed any of that, anyway. _I just want to swim with you. I'm just glad you're home._ As long as they could swim together, race together, train together…that was all he wanted. Everything else was stuff that didn't matter. They were chasing dreams. Contrary to what Yamazaki thought, he had no intention of getting in Rin's way. Why would he? If he cared about someone, why would he want anything else than to see his friend succeed?

_Even if that dream takes him away again?_

Haru sat up, casting off the blankets and getting to his feet. _Yeah, even then_. He flicked the light on and went into the bathroom. _Rin should be free._ He ran water in the sink and splashed it on his face, finally calming a bit. Toweling off, he gazed at the bath. It would help now—relaxing in the water for a bit. Tomorrow, not tonight, he'd figure out how to make up with Makoto.

Haru stripped off his clothes, ignoring the pile of laundry he hadn't gotten to, and pulled on a fresh pair of black and purple jammers. He had one foot in the tub when a knock sounded at the door—

His heart fell. If Makoto was so intent on talking to him tonight that he'd come over… Haru wasn't ready. He couldn't handle those emotions all over again. Maybe if he just didn't answer…

The knock came again, but it was more like pounding this time, and muffled words followed. "Haru, you'd better fucking be home."

His eyes flew wide at the sound of Rin's voice. He left the bath and went into the main room, pulling the door open—

"Why the hell didn't you answer the phone?" Rin was standing there in a change of clothes—black pants, burgundy tank top, a dark gray hoodie and a rain jacket that was sliding off his right shoulder. A baseball cap was on his head, sunglasses perched on top. He carried several shopping bags. Rin's eyes flicked over Haru and then rolled. " _Tch_. Of course you were in the bath."

Haru blinked, still in shock. "What are you doing here?"

Rin's brow furrowed with irritation. "Haru, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing here? Did you forget?"

Haru looked at the bags again… Grocery bags. Unwelcome emotion welled up in his throat.

Rin was glaring, but he looked almost hurt.

"Sorry." Haru stood aside quickly, letting Rin in. "I didn't forget." _I just didn't think…_ "And I wasn't in the bath. I was…sleeping."

"Oh." Rin's face clouded as he slipped off his shoes. "Did I wake you up?"

Haru shook his head. "It would be bad if I slept too long anyways."

Rin's expression softened. "Workout took that much out of you, huh?" He smiled.

Haru tilted his head to the side, making a show of stretching his neck muscles and rubbing his left shoulder. "It was a good warmup for tomorrow."

"Hmph." Rin's smile broadened. " _Right_ , Haru." After carrying the bags to the kitchen, Rin stripped off his raincoat and hoodie, and his hat and sunglasses, stowing his stuff on the rack by the door. "I can't believe you don't have an oven. I'm only glad I remembered before I bought everything." He gathered his hair into a ponytail and grabbed Haru's blue apron, sliding it on over his head, over his tank top. "I'm betting you don't have forks, either."

Haru watched Rin take over his kitchen. "Why would I need those?"

"That's what I thought." Rin flicked on some more lights and washed up. He flipped a cutting board down onto the counter and took a long, wrapped package from one of the bags. Rin pulled a couple of drawers open. "Haru, where's… Oh."

For a few minutes, Rin was unpacking bags and gathering supplies. He was very organized. Makoto would've already had something catching fire by now. Haru felt a pang of guilt, thinking of his best friend. From the table, he retrieved his phone…it was only Rin who called. Then Makoto was still upset about their fight too. Haru would be ready to talk tomorrow. For now, though…

He caught a whiff of raw fish. "I thought you said it wouldn't be—"

"I said it wouldn't be _bait_ fish, Haru. _This_ —"

Haru turned, eyeing the large, silver-scaled whole fish Rin was holding up.

"—is _barramundi_. It's Australian." Rin laid the fish on the cutting board. "They had some nice fresh ones at the fish market."

Haru's brows lifted. "You went all the way to Tsukiji?"

Rin grabbed Haru's fillet knife and twirled it, grinning. "I told you, didn't I? I am not fucking around." Rin shooed him off with a flick of his other hand. "Now go away. Get in the bath or something."

 _But I wanna watch_. Haru lingered as Rin made the first cut under the fin and then deftly worked the knife at an angle down the length of the fish's backbone. He filleted fish all the time, but just small _saba_. It was arguably harder, working on something smaller and more delicate…but Rin filleted with intent and flourish. Haru vacillated between being impressed and feeling competitive. _I could do that. …But I also like Rin doing it._

In short order, Rin had two generous fillets separated from the fish and went on to skinning—but he paused, apparently sensing Haru hadn't moved, and shot a glare over his shoulder.

"Nn." Haru turned away. "Fine. I'll work on my assignment."

As Rin went back to the fillets, Haru cleared his art supplies from the table. He sat on the edge of the bed where he still had a good view of the kitchen. All he needed now was a pencil and his sketchbook... Watching Rin from under his lashes, he opened the sketchbook to the first page as noiselessly as he could—

"Haru, you are _not_ fucking drawing me."

 _Damnit._ Haru grunted, setting the items aside. He stalked into the bathroom and climbed into the bath.

-x-

The cool water was almost up to his shoulders. Reclining with his eyes closed, Haru listened to the sounds of Rin working in the kitchen. Every once in a while, he heard Rin mutter things to himself.

There was chopping and a pause... "Where did I put the…oh." A pan moved against the burner. "Hmm, right. Three minutes…" Food sizzled… "…There!" A spatula scraped, something flipped, followed by more sizzling… "Hell _yeah_ , that's done!"

It was really cute, though he'd never tell Rin that if he wanted to live. Haru just enjoyed it, letting Rin and the water melt away the tension in his frame, forbidding himself to think of anything except for _right now_. Gradually, he became aware of the various food smells emanating from whatever Rin was making. He began to salivate and his stomach gurgled, apparently agreeing that it was time to eat.

Eventually, he heard plates and cutlery—

"Haru, it's ready."

He opened his eyes. "OK, I'm coming." Haru got out and dried off, heading into the other room in his jammers with the towel slung across his shoulders.

He paused just beyond the doorway, taking in the spread set on his table. The main dish was golden brown fish in a clear broth that was the color of butter and lemon. A twist of lemon and flecks of something green garnished the fillet. Beside, in separate bowls, there was salad with vibrant wedges of heirloom tomatoes and a second bowl of something white and fluffy that wasn't rice.

Rin was standing beside the table, beaming. "Come on, do I rock or what? This could go on one of your cooking shows. Better take a picture."

 _Rin did this for me._ Haru's brain kind of checked out. "It looks good," he said. "It smells like food."

" _Tch_ , Haru." Rin pulled off the apron, balling it up—

It hit Haru in the face.

"—Sit down and eat." Rin dropped down to the floor, cross-legged, on the right side of the table.

Tossing his towel to the floor, Haru sat back on his heels at the place set for him, eyeing the western style cutlery.

Rin, on his right, hunkered down, folding his arms on the edge of the table and resting his chin on top, watching eagerly…

" _Itadakimasu_ …" Haru picked up the fork, cutting off a bit of the fish and spearing the piece with the tines of the fork. He lifted the bite to his mouth… The mild fish melted on his tongue. He tasted lemon, butter, garlic, basil…

"It's good, right?" Rin was smiling confidently. "I can tell you don't hate it."

Haru felt heat in his face. It was really good. "I don't hate it." He ate another bite. Then he speared a chunk of tomato from the salad. It was cool and firm in his mouth, lightly dressed. "Mm." He glanced at the second bowl. "What's the white stuff?"

Rin sighed and straightened up. "Don't tell me you've never had mashed potatoes before. I usually do them roasted or baked, but you don't have a fucking oven."

Haru carefully loaded a small mound onto his fork and tried it… His eyes widened. The texture was odd, but the creamy harmony of potato, butter, and salt was delicious.

Rin smiled again. "You don't hate that either."

Haru popped the fork from his mouth and swallowed. "How'd you make it so creamy?"

"With milk, dummy." Rin shifted so he was sitting with one knee propped up. He twirled his fork. "Most people use cream, I guess, but Japanese milk has such a high fat content already. So I didn't have to go overboard."

"Hm." Haru picked up the bowl and held it like it was rice. He experimentally took a bit of fish and added potato… The combination was good, too.

Rin was still watching him.

"What?" Haru's face warmed. "It's good." He set down his fork long enough to drink from his glass of water.

Rin had a pleased look on his face as he finally started to eat.

-x-

After dinner, Haru stacked his empty plates and pressed his palms together. " _Gochisousama."_ He rolled onto his back on the _tatami_ flooring with his head towards Rin, resting one hand on his pleasantly full belly. It was just the right amount of food.

"So?" Rin was looking down at him, leaning back from the table with his glass of water in one hand and one brow cocked. His face was framed by the strands of burgundy hair that refused to be tamed into his ponytail.

"I'll admit it. You can cook."

"Damn straight, Haru." Rin smirked victoriously.

Haru tilted his head back, looking at Rin upside-down. "You realize this means you have to do the cooking sometimes. When you come over."

Rin sipped from his glass. "What if I wanna make meat, Haru?"

"I'll eat it," he said. "If it's good like that."

"Hmph." Rin's cheeks darkened. He looked away. "A meat dish you'll like… I'll think of something." His face softened. "Maybe while we're on the road together."

"Aren't they gonna feed us?"

Rin scowled. "What, you're gonna eat McDonalds every day just because it's free?"

"Well, not _that_."

"I was talking to some of the guys in Sydney who went to London." Rin set his glass on the table, his weight braced on his other hand. "They said we should bring some of our own snacks and stuff. The things we can't live without for two weeks."

"So I can bring _saba_?"

Rin exhaled. "How would you keep it cold?"

Haru shrugged against the floor. "I have a cooler."

Rin thrust one hand through the loose strands of his hair. "Gross, Haru. Could you imagine checking that at the airport?"

"…Yes."

The damp towel that he'd discarded earlier got dropped in his face. Haru grunted and sat up.

"Dried mackerel. You could bring that." Rin got to his feet, starting to gather the dishes.

"Hm." Haru popped up to help.

Haru washed while Rin dried (since he was still in his swimsuit, getting soapy water splashed on him didn't matter). There were a lot of dishes, but it was on par with any Japanese meal that consisted of more than just _saba_ and rice. They worked largely in silence, Haru liking just having Rin there. The evening was quickly coming to an end and he wanted to savor the time he could. Rin hadn't brought his stuff with him, so he obviously wasn't staying. At some point, Rin would head back to Yamazaki's place… Haru felt a little envy. He could admit that much to himself. He almost didn't want to hand over the last dish… But he did, draining the sink and toweling off his arms and hands.

Rin finished drying and returned the dish to the cabinet with a soft _clink_. He wiped his wrist across his brow. "Ehh, that's the only problem with these kinds of meals. Cleaning up is almost as much work as the prep."

"Yeah. It was worth it, though," Haru said. He took the kettle from the stove and filled it with water. "You want tea or something? I have decaf and herbal."

"Since when do you drink tea before bed?" Rin asked, hanging up the towel.

Haru shrugged. "It's cold and I feel like it." He set the kettle on the stove.

"That's because you're wearing nothing, you idiot." Rin nudged him away from the stove with a hip. "Go put some clothes on. I'll do this."

"Nn…" But Haru obediently went to change. He grabbed his pajamas from the closet—a T-shirt, fresh underwear, soft shorts. His favorite sweatshirt was in the laundry hamper, so he dug out a zip-up white and blue one instead.

He changed in the bathroom and walked back into the kitchen. Rin was leaning against the stove, waiting for the water to boil. The expression on his friend's face was…thoughtful.

Haru got out the teapot, cups, and tea packages. "What kind do you want?"

Rin's eyes flicked over the offerings. He spent a long moment deciding—long for him. Haru was used to Rin making up his mind instantly about things. Finally, Rin pointed. "That one."

"OK." Haru put away the others. He got out the strainer and measuring cup as he opened the package. From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin's face grow pensive…

There was a ragged sigh and then an arm was draped around his shoulders, Rin leaning against him from behind.

Haru went still, feeling Rin's breath in his hair, Rin's hand gripping his left shoulder.

"Haru…why is it so easy to be with you?"

He lifted a brow. "Easy?"

"I mean… _Easy_ , like not stressful…calming… Like _this_."

 _Oh._ Haru relaxed. He finished prepping the teapot and closed the tea package, careful not to dislodge his friend. "I don't know."

There was another rough exhale into his scalp. Haru felt Rin's cheek against the back of his head, his left ear nudged by Rin's nose. "Do you remember when we were kids? When it was stormy out and I got scared?"

Haru slowly lifted his head. "Which time?" He remembered…a lot of nights like that.

Rin shrugged against his back. "All of them, I guess. …You helped me calm down." Rin's arm tightened a little. "Like last night…like this morning."

 _Rin…_ Haru closed his eyes and slowly reached up, grasping Rin's elbow lightly. A faint tremor went through his friend before Rin seemed to melt—to unwind—against him.

"Na, Haru… You asked what I wanted." The words were soft against his ear. Rin's other arm slid around his waist. "Is this OK?"

There was so much _unsaid_ and Haru couldn't read it all. What Rin really wanted, what Rin was thinking… If he was just upset, or if there was more… _And maybe you don't even know._ But it didn't matter. This— _this—_ was perfect. "Yeah," Haru said. "It's OK, Rin." He laid his left arm against Rin's, at his waist, his fingers against the back of Rin's hand.

Rin drew a sharp breath. _"Haru…"_ His voice was thick with emotion, his face pressed into Haru's hair—

—The tea kettle began to whistle. Haru started at the noise just as Rin did. They broke apart slightly, both glaring at the offending thing.

" _Fuck_." Rin released him and Haru caught a glimpse of reddened cheeks before Rin turned away, thrusting a hand into his hair.

Haru took the kettle off the burner and turned off the stove. "Can you take the cups to the table?"

"…Yeah."

As Rin left the kitchen area, Haru poured the hot water. "You don't want sugar or anything, right?"

"No." He heard Rin settle onto the floor.

Wrapping the teapot in a pot holder, Haru carried it to the table. Rin was sitting with his back against the side of the bed, his knees bent and eyes covered by one hand. His cheeks were nearly the same shade as the garnet strands of hair that escaped his ponytail and fell, unruly, in his face. He was all tensed up.

Most of that was probably embarrassment. _You don't have to worry, Rin. I never thought less of you when we were kids and you were afraid or upset. Just the opposite. Whenever you cried, I always wanted to—_

Haru sat down next to his friend, stretching his legs beneath the table and sitting close enough that their sides were touching. He curled an arm around Rin's shoulders and tugged.

Rin inhaled. "Haru—"

"It's just me, Rin." Haru gently touched Rin's hair.

Rin's breath came out in a puff and he slumped against Haru's side. "Fuck it," he muttered. "Haru, you better not tell anyone…" His face was scarlet as he snuggled in.

"I won't," Haru said. _I promise. This moment is just…ours._ He closed his eyes and leaned his head against Rin's, deeply content.

-x-

The tea was almost too bitter by the time they got around to drinking it, sitting side-by-side with the bed at their backs and their legs under the table. They each held a tea cup in their lap, still close enough that their shoulders were touching.

"Haru, did you pack?"

"Nn." Haru remembered the laundry he hadn't done. "I'll pack in the morning."

Rin smiled. "You'll be late if you do that. It takes you an hour to pick out a swimsuit."

"Not _always_."

Rin chuckled. He set his cup on the table and lifted his arms over his head, stretching, brushing Haru's arm in the process. "Eight o'clock, right? What time are you heading to the station?"

The warmth of the cup Haru held was nice, but the warmth of Rin touching him was better. "Like seven-fifteen." He shrugged. "It's not far from here."

"I'll meet you." Rin lowered his arms, grinning at him and holding up a fist. "Haru, National Team."

"Yeah," Haru said, soaking in the sight of Rin's smile. He bumped his fist against Rin's.

When Rin got up, Haru followed. They carried the remnants of the tea into the kitchen, leaving the dishes in the sink.

As Rin pulled on his hoodie and gathered his stuff, Haru emptied the tea strainer and cleaned the cups, setting everything on the rack above the sink to air dry.

"Haru…" A faint blush stained Rin's cheeks as he paused near the door. "Thanks."

Haru lifted his brows. "Thanks for dinner."

"Nn…" Rin rubbed the back of his neck, the color in his face deepening. "You say it like that and it sounds like I'm whoring out cooking for cuddles."

Haru felt a trace of amusement. "It doesn't sound any better the other way around."

Rin smiled. He slipped into his shoes and waved as he let himself out. "'Night, Haru."

"'Night."

The door closed and Haru listened to Rin's footsteps receding until he couldn't hear them anymore.

Before going to bed, he finally did laundry—just the few items that would hang dry overnight. Then he brushed his teeth, turned the lights off, and crawled into bed. Too warm in the sweatshirt, he pulled it off, about to toss it to the foot of the bed…but he hesitated. The blue and white fabric smelled like Rin. Haru laid back, the sweatshirt bundled in his arms, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness, at the rhythmic pulse of red light coming from the window. He was too awake to fall asleep, his heart full and running a little fast. _Rin…_ He closed his eyes, curling up on his side and trying anyway…but he couldn't stop the thoughts from swirling through his head. Tomorrow, he was going to see Rin again. Tomorrow, they were going to swim together— _Tomorrow…_

After an hour, Haru gave up. He turned the light on, shrugging into the sweatshirt, and sat at the table. Opening his new sketchbook to the first page, he grabbed a pencil…

* * *

Tuesday, April 12th, 2016

* * *

"…Haru-chan?" A warm hand shook his shoulder gently, pulling him unwillingly from slumber.

Haru lifted his head from his arms, blinking blearily up into the face of his best friend. Makoto was standing over him at the table, wearing a grey coat and red scarf over his street clothes. Though Makoto was smiling a little, his emerald eyes were heavy.

Haru yawned and stretched, sitting back against the bed. He rubbed his eyes, his fingers smelling like graphite and erasers. On the table in front of him, his sketchbook lay open, pencils and eraser bits scattered across the page. "Makoto…what time is it?"

Makoto straightened, standing there stiffly. "Just after six."

"Oh." Good, he wouldn't be late; he still had time to pack...

"Haru." Makoto's face clouded, his voice dampened by regret, guilt…anxiety. "I'm…sorry about what I said yesterday. I assumed—"

"It's not your fault," Haru said, gathering up the pencils. "I didn't tell you." He lifted the sketchbook, gently tapping the eraser bits from the paper. Then he closed the cover over the drawing of a brick plaza lined with cherry trees.

"Even so, I still—"

Haru got to his feet, his muscles sore from sleeping in such an odd position all night. "I know you're just worried. It's really OK," he said, heading into the kitchen. His apron wasn't hanging on the hook by the fridge. It took him a second as he scanned the room to locate the crumpled article on the floor by the table. Why was it _…oh…_ He woke up a little more as he recalled Rin throwing it at him last night. Haru slipped the strap over his head, warmed by the memory, and tied the strings behind his back.

"But, Haru…"

 _You're overreacting, Makoto. Acting like I'm wounded or fragile or something. I'm not._ "Makoto." _It's not that at all._ Haru softened his face, looking at his friend. "It turns out Rin _can_ cook."

The words took seconds to register, Makoto's face first going blank…then his green eyes grew wide with shock and pink blossomed in his cheeks. "Wait… Haru, what?"

Smiling to himself, Haru didn't answer. He washed up and put the grill pan on the stove, then grabbed _saba_ from the fridge and bread from the pantry. "Don't be late for class, Makoto," he said, placing the items on the counter. "I'll text you later, when they give us a break." He oiled the pan.

From the corner of his eye, Haru saw the tension leave Makoto's frame. His best friend sighed in exasperation…and smiled.


	7. Our dream in 4-by-200 meter free

The shower was still going when Rin finished packing up. He set his gear bag on top of his duffle and glanced at the clock, tucking his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. He needed to leave soon if he was going to be on time to meet Haru at the station. But just leaving felt…weird. He and Sousuke hadn't really talked since the other night at karaoke. Yesterday, Sousuke was out when he stopped in for a change of clothes and then he'd gotten back late from Haru's place…

The water shut off and Rin sighed, leaning against the wall in the _tatami_ alcove he'd used for a bedroom for most of the past week. Leaving was weird but staying was awkward. There wasn't really a good middle ground.

A few minutes later, Sousuke wandered into the main area, wearing pajama pants and scrubbing his hair with a towel. "'Morning, Rin. You're not gonna be late?" Sousuke stifled a yawn and headed into the kitchen.

"I'm on my way out."

Rin didn't stare. Sousuke's upper body was still trimmed and fit, but it was obvious he wasn't trying any more. Rin wondered if his best friend lifted anything besides medical texts these days—a healthy stack occupied one corner of the kitchen table. Sousuke would make a good doctor—because he was always the best at whatever he did, driven and motivated to excel. But it was just one more way their worlds were diverging.

Rin straightened from the wall, listening to the sounds of cabinets opening and closing in the kitchen. "Hey, so… I won't be back until Friday. And it might be late that night."

There was a crinkle of packaging; Rin caught a whiff of freshly ground coffee. Sousuke leaned over the counter, smiling faintly. "First training camp, huh?" His expression grew wistful and he disappeared into the kitchen again. "At the National Training Center?"

"Yeah." Rin pressed his lips, groping for words. "You've been?"

Water ran in the sink. "I spent summers there in high school. In the youth program." The sink shut off, Sousuke's voice quieting. "That was before, obviously."

 _You didn't tell me._ Rin's heart sank. Add that, like a brick, to the growing pile of things between them… At some point, he ought to call it what it was—a wall.

"It's a nice facility," Sousuke said in a normal voice. "Everything you need's right there." He rounded the corner of the kitchen, drying his hands on a checkered dish towel. "So you can train without distractions."

"Yeah." Rin lifted his bags, slipping the straps across his chest. "Well, I'll see you Friday. I still have the key, so…" Shoving his hands back into his pockets, he turned for the entryway.

"Don't feel like you have to stay, Rin."

He stopped at the words, his shoulders tightening.

"If you'd rather move in with Nanase. It'd be convenient, right?"

Convenient… Sousuke wasn't talking about training. Rin rolled his shoulders, trying to relax them. "Can you not?" His hands curled loosely in his pockets. "It's not like that." _We're not…_

"Sure. Forget I said anything." The response was blithe and abrupt, Sousuke's footsteps retreating into the kitchen.

Rin felt a dull pain, like he was running head-first into the wall between them and bouncing off. He didn't know how to fix it. …And he didn't have time to try. Rin silently padded to the door, slipped on his shoes, and headed out into the hall—

-x-

It was a cold spring day with blue skies and just the barest wisp of clouds. Rin walked with his music blaring from his earbuds, trying—unsuccessfully—to distract himself. He wasn't going to stay, but not for the reason Sousuke thought. He wanted his own space, his own bed—he couldn't sleep on futons from now until the Olympics. And staying with Haru… He thought back to waking up in Haru's bed, with the lingering warmth beside him in chlorine-scented sheets, his arm stretched across the empty space where Haru had slept… His heart rate picked up just thinking about it. Living with Haru wouldn't work for different reasons. _I'm not gonna use you, Haru. I'm never gonna treat you like that._ He wasn't looking forward to seeing Kawamura today. It wasn't going to affect the way they worked or trained together, but he didn't have to _like_ interacting with the guy who was treating his best friend so…cheaply.

… _A wall like that and you still think you're best friends?_

Rin kicked the concrete of the sidewalk, frowning. If he didn't have Sousuke, then what? Haru had Makoto—it wasn't like he could touch that. He'd just be alone. _Fuck._ He raked fingers roughly through his hair. _Like I should be thinking about shit like this today of all days._ Alone was fine. Alone was what he wanted—so he could concentrate on his dream. He didn't _need_ anyone.

As he neared the station, Rin finally looked up…and his gaze caught on a familiar frame. Haru was standing just outside the station's entrance, wearing different warmups today—black pants and a jacket that had a blue horizontal stripe across the chest with white above the stripe and black below. The straps of two bags were slung across his chest and he was looking at his phone.

 _Haru._ The melancholy vanished in an instant; Rin felt a little flutter inside. He pulled the earbuds from his ears, fishing his phone from his pocket and shutting the music off. Haru hadn't noticed him yet. Rin's steps slowed as he thought of yesterday—of Haru curled up on the bed with him ( _"Rin, you know I only swim free."_ )…Haru eating every last bit of the food he'd made—and liking it…and the way Haru looked in the rain and falling _sakura_ petals, when Rin desperately wanted to kiss him—

That was the moment when Haru glanced up and saw him. Haru's face went from stoic to warm in a heartbeat and even though he wasn't exactly smiling, his eyes were—soft blue and inviting…

The flutter became a thrill. Grinning, Rin jogged the last few steps to meet his friend, not caring if he looked a little too happy. "Hey."

"Hey," Haru said, putting his phone away and resting his hands in his pockets. The look he gave Rin, his brows lifting beneath glossy sections of black hair, was relaxed and expectant. "Ready?"

"Yeah." _Hell yeah._

-x-

It was only a fifteen minute ride on the subway headed north. Rin and Haru exited the crowded train car and headed up to ground level. They walked east along the street, through a residential area with small apartment buildings, convenience stores, and hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Several blocks later, the city suddenly gave way to trees, tennis courts, and a soccer stadium…

Rin stopped on the street corner, taking it all in. Even this early, there were athletes out on the tennis courts and practicing on the soccer field. Many of them wore the exact same warmups—red and white with _JAPAN_ in white text across the shoulder blades.

"Haru, look!" He tackled his friend from behind, looking over Haru's shoulder and barely containing his glee. "The National Team uniforms. Do you think we'll get ours today?"

Haru grunted slightly, giving him a look with blue eyes that was something like, _Rin, you're heavy._ "I hope so. I only brought this one set."

" _Tch_. I'll bite you." He leaned even more of his weight against Haru's back.

Haru's eyes warmed with amusement. He even smiled and it made Rin's breath catch. "Rin. It's been eight years since we were on the same team together."

The emotion surged inside like a wave, breaking over him hot and smothering. " _Nn_ , Haru." Rin pulled away.

But Haru caught his wrist. "Come on."

The light had changed and they jogged across the street, turning south along the fence and heading for the entrance. The NTC was comprised of several facilities plus an Athlete's Village that could accommodate nearly five hundred people. Besides the soccer field and outdoor tennis courts, the main building was an indoor training facility that housed everything from volleyball to judo to gymnastics. The large building was a city block by itself. Next to it was the Japan Institute of Sports Sciences—a gray edifice with an external framework that just screamed futuristic tech, which contained, among other facilities, the 50m pool.

But for now they were headed to the Athlete's Village, a beige and white building with a glass-front entryway, a large first floor and U-shaped upper floors for athletes' housing. The Village was just south of the indoor training facility, across a narrow street. A sky bridge connected the two buildings, three floors up. In front of the Village entrance, on a broad, paved area drenched in sunlight, there were more than a dozen athletes laden with gear bags and luggage—several in National Team warmups.

"Rin-senpai! Nanase-senpai!" Momo was hard to miss—grinning and bouncing in a blinding combination of a yellow hoodie, white warmups, and garish orange sneakers. His bags jangled oddly as he hopped around and Rin hoped to God the kid wasn't bringing his stag beetle collection to training camp.

Mikoshiba was next to his brother, more self-possessed but still smiling broadly, wearing black warmups patterned with white, bags slung over his right shoulder. "Matsuoka, Nanase, good morning!"

Rin and Haru joined them.

"'Morning," Rin said, looking around warily for—

"Ha-ru-ka!" The sing-song voice came from behind him just before Takara appeared. She latched onto Haru's left arm, leaning close—

Rin inhaled, going tense. _If you greet him like Sousuke the other night, this is gonna get ugly—_

But Haru turned his face away and freed himself from her grasp. "'Morning, Takara."

Takara laughed softly. "Shy today, hmm?"

The fuck was that supposed to mean?! Rin glared at the woman. She was wearing white warmups with a lavender stripe across the chest, her long black hair pulled back into a swinging ponytail. She carried two bags—one purple, one white and lavender.

Before he could challenge her, though, he realized Momo had gone abnormally still. The kid was staring at Takara with wide eyes, his ruddy cheeks pinker than usual.

Takara's face cooled in an instant. She cocked one brow. "Seijuurou, why is your younger brother looking at me like that?"

Haru slipped his hands into his pockets and exhaled. "Probably because the last time he saw you, you were—"

"— _And_ new topic," Mikoshiba said.

Rin fought the urge to grin.

Takara rolled her eyes and walked away, flicking a length of hair behind her shoulder as she left.

" _Oi_ , Taka-chan!" A brunette in Team Japan warmups was waving from near the entrance.

"Yumi-chan!" Takara grinned and waved back, jogging to join her.

Momo kept staring; he just turned a little.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba slung an arm around his brother's neck and dragged him away. "What would Gou-kun think if she saw you ogling those older girls?"

Rin's right eyebrow twitched.

Momo went limp in his brother's arms, wailing as his orange sneakers skidded against the pavement. " _Gou-san_ , I'm _sorry_ …"

It was a good thing Gou was safely back in Osaka. _At her muscle school_ … Rin sighed.

"Rin?" Haru was looking at him expectantly. "Wanna go?"

Everyone was starting to filter inside through glass doors marked with the Japanese flag and the Olympic symbol—the logo for the Japan Olympic Committee.

He smiled. "Yeah."

The lobby was airy and bright—all glass with warm colors and sunlight. Against the windows, there was a sitting area with couches and chairs on a hardwood floor. They were immediately ushered into a queue on the right side of the lobby, near the front desk where staff members in gray business suits with JOC nametags waited to check them in. A freestanding message board had a sign that said, _Welcome National Swim Team!,_ with the JOC logo.

Rin waited in line behind Haru, noting the mail desk just left of the main desk and a small shop alcove beyond where they were selling official Team Japan souvenirs—neckties, jewelry, and other trinkets. On the walls and hanging from the ceiling, there were posters and banners for various sponsors and, of course, Tokyo 2020. Rin strained for a look down the hall, where he could see athletes filtering in and out of the dining area. Others were lounging in the lobby or carrying gear on their way to practice. It was a little taste of Rio. _I'm here and I'm doing this. And Haru…_

Haru was his normal stoic baseline, calmly waiting in line, as if this wasn't the biggest thing they'd ever been a part of so far. Then again, he'd heard Koutei held summer training camps here, so for Haru, Mikoshiba, and Takara, the venue wasn't new. Not that Rin was jealous or anything…

After registration and dropping off their luggage for storage, they took the stairs up to the third floor and crossed the sky bridge to the main training facility. Rin followed Haru into an interior stairwell as they headed down to the first floor where their clinic would be held.

Haru went right past the first floor door, continuing to descend down towards the basement—

Rin snagged the strap of his friend's gear bag, noting the directory on the wall:

_3F – Gymnastics, Volleyball, Badminton_

_2F – Handball, Basketball, Multi-Purpose Gymnasium_

_1F – Judo, Table Tennis, Conference Rooms, Coaches Lounge, JOC Office_

_B1F – Boxing, Weightlifting, Wrestling, Pool_

"Nn." Haru glared back over his shoulder. "What? We're early."

"Not _that_ early." Rin tugged him towards the door.

Haru grunted.

They exited into a lobby with modern, sleek lines, a gray color palette, and minimalist leather seating. There were glass cases on a few sections of wall displaying JOC history and team uniforms. On the opposite side of the lobby, there was a large map of the world with digital clocks displaying the current time in several different time zones—it was almost 8pm in Rio.

Rin gravitated to the photos—one whole section of wall was dedicated to the Japanese athletes from London 2012, posing in red blazers with their medals. There were individual pictures and pictures of teams—like the women's medley relay team who had taken bronze…and the men's medley relay team, proudly displaying their silver medals. He was staring at his dream, captured in a photograph. Even coming as far as he had, it wasn't going to be easy, getting _there_. Two of the silver medalists were on the Rio team—Ikehara, who swam breaststroke, and Sugiyama, who swam butterfly.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Haru said and wandered off.

Rin watched him leave, making sure he wasn't headed for the pool again.

The conference room was down the hall and people were starting to gather when Rin poked his head inside. Coach Fujino and his staff were up front, all in National Team uniforms. A handful of men and women in business suits were also there; Rin guessed they were JOC and maybe sponsor reps. Four long tables were set up, eight seats apiece, and each place had a red plastic bag with the JOC logo on it and a water bottle. The walls were dark wood panels with an 'executive' vibe and there were multiple digital screens though they were off at the moment. Athletes were starting to claim seats.

Given that the clinic was scheduled to be at least an hour, Haru's idea wasn't a bad one. Rin headed back into the hallway, locating the signage for the restroom.

He passed Haru on the way. "Save me a seat, OK?"

Haru nodded and went into the conference room.

When Rin got back, nearly everyone was there; a third of the athletes were wearing Team Japan red and white. The Mikoshiba brothers were front row, center, though Momo was hunched in his seat and pouting. Takara was sitting to Mikoshiba's left. Haru had snagged seats in the third row on the right hand side. Of course he'd taken the end seat. Rin spotted Kawamura back in the fourth row.

"There aren't any windows in this room," Haru said as Rin slipped by, taking the empty seat next to him.

"Yeah, 'cause you're supposed to pay attention."

"Nn." Haru rested his chin against his knuckles, already looking bored.

Rin stuffed his gear bag under his chair and peeked into the red plastic bag. It was full of paperwork, brochures, pens, and other miscellaneous items like a black JOC lanyard.

"Matsuoka-kun, is that seat open?"

Rin looked up and his eyes bugged at the guy standing just beyond the table, in National Team warmups. He composed himself quickly. "Yes, Ikehara-senpai. Feel free."

Ikehara Yoshiro had feathery black hair with copper highlights and a laid back smile. "Thanks."

Rin scooted his chair in to let Ikehara by. _Play it cool, Rin, it's not like you haven't been around Olympians before._ In Sydney, he'd gotten to meet several members of the Australian National Team. But his inner child was giddy. _I watched you swim the medley in London and Beijing._ The guy had at least four medals that Rin knew of, two from the relays and two from individual breaststroke events. _I was just staring at your picture out in the lobby!_

Ikehara sat down, stowing his red and white Team Japan gear bag beneath his seat.

A girl two chairs down in emerald green warmups gasped. "Ike-Ikehara-senpai!"

Ikehara smiled at her and waved. "Hey there, Otani-san."

The girl flushed red and seemed to melt into her chair. "He knows my name!"

Rin glanced furtively around at the other Olympic veterans, looking to see if—

A hush fell over the room and his gaze was drawn to the door. Sugiyama Noboru had arrived. The guy paused for a second in the doorway, his red and white jacket open with a black shirt underneath, his bag tossed over his right shoulder and held by two fingers. He had close-cropped dark hair and wireless earbuds tucked into both ears. His eyes flicked over the room—a look of mild disinterest—before he headed wordlessly towards the fourth row. Tentative whispering followed the four-time Olympian, especially from the younger girls on the team. Sugiyama took an empty seat on the left-hand side of the room and leaned back with his hands tucked into his pockets.

 _I watched you in Athens, with my dad. When you got a silver in the 200 meter fly and bronze in the medley._ It was the last Olympics he got to watch with his dad and the only one he'd been old enough to remember. Twelve years later, Sugiyama was still as cool and aloof as Rin remembered from TV. _I wanted to be like you._

A woman in Team Japan warmups moved to the front of the room. "Good morning, everyone. We'll now get started." She had wavy brown hair that fell past her shoulders; Rin placed her mid-thirties.

The room immediately quieted.

"We'll begin the main part of our clinic shortly," the woman said, "but first will be opening remarks by Saeki Aina-san from the JOC, Senior Executive Board."

Rin got to his feet with the rest of the Olympians as Saeki-san moved to the front of the room to address them. She wore a navy blue business suit that was exquisitely tailored, the light glinting off the JOC logo pin on her left lapel.

"Good morning, Olympians." She bowed; they bowed deeper. "Please take your seats."

Saeki-san waited as they all settled. Her black hair was swept up and secured into a perfect twist without a hint of gray and she wore glasses with a thin, metal frame. "First off, congratulations." There was warmth in her voice, but her face and demeanor were all business. "We at the Japan Olympic Committee are exceedingly proud to have chosen you to represent Japan in Rio this August. You are our largest swimming contingent to date and you met rigorous selection criteria to make it this far." She paused and the room was pin-drop silent. "Many of you are here for the first time while, for several of you, this will be your second, third, or fourth Olympic Games. You are here because the JOC believes that you not only have the talent to succeed but also because you embody the Olympic spirit and will further the Olympic Movement objectives set by the IOC and adopted by the JOC. In particular, that sincerity and integrity give meaning to victory. One cannot truly be a champion without conducting one's self honorably. We at the JOC celebrate not only your individual achievements and potential, but also your unique position to partner with us in realizing our collective future vision, that is, the thirty-second Olympiad: Tokyo 2020."

 _This is it!_ Rin was warm with pride, soaking up the words. _First Rio 2016, then Tokyo 2020, then…_

"Obviously this privilege comes with great responsibility as well. As an entity recognized by the IOC, we have strict anti-doping policies with zero tolerance for abuse. Your participation is predicated on your consent to associated screenings at our discretion throughout this process." Saeki-san's gaze swept the room, as if to ensure her message had been received. Apparently satisfied, her visage warmed perceptively. "Finally, we are, of course, aware that the JASF selection criteria has not gone without frustration. A number of you missed qualifying in additional events by the slimmest of margins."

Rin perked up.

Saeki-san almost smiled. "I assure you, you'll get your chance. The JOC is glad to collaborate with Coach Fujino in selecting athletes to participate in approved international competitions prior to the IOC submission deadline. That will be your opportunity to achieve a qualifying time, which the JOC will review and, if appropriate, submit you for inclusion in that event in Rio."

 _Two hundred meter free!_ Rin glanced aside at Haru, flush with the possibility of redemption. _I'm doing it._

Haru was looking at him, too, with a spark of excitement in blue eyes.

"July third is the submission deadline," Saeki-san said and Rin turned his attention back to the front. "Good luck, Olympians, and—again—congratulations."

There was decorous applause and they all stood again as Saeki-san and the others in business attire left the room.

Coach Fujino took the floor, smiling and waving them back to their seats. "Well, I don't think 'Congratulations' can really be said enough. You should all be proud of your hard work and accomplishments thus far—it's why you're here." He paused for a beat. "But those of you who have been through this before know that now is when the real work starts. This training camp is the first of three here in Tokyo, in addition to the international competitions and high altitude training camps many of you will participate in, prior to our final training camp that will be held in São Paulo in late July. You will need perseverance, dedication, and focus to succeed."

 _Check, check, and check._ Rin smiled on the inside.

"We have a full day planned, so I won't belabor the point. Maekawa-san," Fujino gestured to the 30-something woman in red and white, "will explain the logistics in a bit. But we'll start with introductions, seeing as how we're all about to be stuck together for the next few months."

A chuckle rumbled through the room.

"Name, club, event, previous Olympic experience, and your specialty if you like. I'll go first and then my staff will introduce themselves." Fujino smiled again, standing at ease with his hands at his sides. "Fujino Katsuro, Koutei Swim Club for university students and professional swimmers. Backstroke is my specialty. I swam in Seoul in '88, Barcelona in '92, and Atlanta in '96. I retired after an injury just prior to the Olympic trials in 2000. I've been coaching ever since. Even though swimming and competing were great passions of mine, I've found coaching to be my true calling. To me, nothing is as fulfilling as watching the next generation of swimmers achieve their dreams. I look forward to working with all of you." He stepped back, gesturing at the woman on his right. "Maekawa-san."

Maekawa stepped forward. "Maekawa Kotone. I'm one of the assistant coaches at Koutei and I'll be assisting primarily with the first time Olympians. I swam in Sydney and in Athens. My specialty is medley relay and butterfly. Pleased to meet you." She bowed.

Next to her was a guy Rin guessed was roughly the same age. He had a fuzz of black hair and a stud earring in his left earlobe. "Akagi Daichi. Koutei assistant coach. Sydney and Athens. My specialties are medley relay and breaststroke. Glad to meet you." He nodded more than bowed.

After a handful of other staff intros, attention moved to the athletes in the front row.

 _Matsuoka Rin. I have a girly name but I'm a boy._ Yeah, it was good he'd grown out of introducing himself that way.

Up front, it was Takara's turn. She got to her feet, flicking her ponytail back behind her shoulder as she turned to face the room. "Sakamoto Takara, Koutei University. Two hundred and four hundred meter individual medleys and the eight hundred meter free. I'll be swimming in the Open Water invitational in Portugal in June, to qualify for the marathon."

Which meant Rin wouldn't have to deal with her for at least a little while—nice!

After she sat down, Mikoshiba went next. He stood up and planted a hand on his hip. "Mikoshiba Seijuurou, Koutei University. My events are the four hundred meter individual medley, the two hundred meter backstroke, and the fifteen hundred meter free. Backstroke and distance are my specialties. I'll also be swimming in the Open Water invitational." He grinned. "Pleased to meet you all."

Momo popped up almost before his brother sat down. The boy's eyes were glued to Maekawa at the front of the room. "I'm Mikoshiba Momotarou. I go to Samezuka Academy. I swim backstroke. My nickname is the Sea Otter of Japan. I have a crush on Matsuoka Gou. My favorite food is—"

Rin face palmed.

On his left, Ikehara leaned over. "A relation of yours?"

In the front row, Mikoshiba reached up to snag Momo's shoulder and forcibly sit him down even though his mouth was still going.

"Yeah, my younger sister," Rin said.

"Lucky her?" Ikehara said, with obvious skepticism.

Rin chuckled. This guy was all right.

The intros snaked down the rows until it was Ikehara's turn.

The guy stood up, wearing an easy smile. All of the younger girls were gazing at him. "Ikehara Yoshiro. Team Japan. My events are the one hundred and two hundred meter breaststroke. I previously swam in Beijing and London, the one hundred meters and the medley relay. It's good to be back. I look forward to swimming with all of you."

 _After today, I get to announce myself like that too—Team Japan._ Rin stood. "Matsuoka Rin, Sydney East. My events are the one hundred and two hundred fly and the fifty and one hundred free. Nice to meet you." Short and sweet, he sat back down.

Then it was Haru's turn. Haru placed his hands flat on the table and got up, a stoic look bordering on defiance on his face. "Nanase Haruka, Koutei University. I only swim—"

Rin smothered a cough and Haru paused, eyes flicking his way with a mild glare.

Haru drew a breath and continued. "My events are the fifty, one hundred, and two hundred meter free. Pleased to meet you." He took his seat and resumed looking bored.

The back row was next and everyone turned in their chairs to give their attention.

Kawamura was midway through the row and stood up, his stance relaxed. "Kawamura Ryouta, Todai. My event is the two hundred meter fly. Thanks."

Sugiyama, on the end, was last. He got up, his hands tucked into the pockets of his red and white warmup jacket. "Sugiyama Noboru. Team Japan. Athens, Beijing, London." He paused, glancing across the room. "I swim relay."

Rin drew breath. Sugiyama was _relay only_? That meant the guy had to swim in either the heat or the final of the event or the whole relay team would be disqualified. Was it already decided? Rin knew Sugiyama swam both fly and free, but he'd medaled on the fly leg of the medley for the last three Olympics. _But me and Haru…_

Sugiyama's cool eyes met Rin's briefly, then the guy sat down.

Rin turned forward in his chair, feeling like his dream had been doused by a bucket of ice water. There was no point complaining about fairness or who deserved it. Sugiyama had been to the Olympics three times and he'd medaled. It wasn't like Rin had any platform to stand on to demand anything. He could only hope that the clock would be the great equalizer, in the end.

Coach Fujino was talking again and Rin tried to come back from the anxiety churning inside him—

He felt Haru's gaze. Rin glanced over and met blue eyes. Haru was facing the front but looking at him askance, his chin resting on the heel of his left hand, his fingers curled against his jaw. There was no discontent in Haru's gaze, rather there was quiet confidence and a deep sense of calm. Over the space of a few brief seconds—however the heck it worked—Rin felt his agitation fading. Because Haru was here with him, Haru wasn't upset… _This is my dream and I'm supposed to be enjoying it._ Rin's face softened. _I really wish I could hug you right now._

Haru gaze warmed and Rin smiled, shifting his attention back to the clinic.

-x-

An hour later, they were standing behind the blocks of the 50m pool in the Sports Sciences building. There were eight lanes and tons of cameras for filming from above as well as underwater. This was the real deal—a swimmers' lab. They were all stripped down to their swimsuits, swim caps on and goggles in hand. Haru was eyeing the water like he was dying of thirst in a desert. Rin stood close enough to grab his friend if Haru decided to go rogue.

"Everyone starts with six hundred to warm-up, half of that being kick, drill, and stroke," Coach Fujino said, standing near the whiteboard with his staff. "After that, we'll go into time trials. Everyone who didn't swim the one hundred and two hundred meter free last week, you'll get four tries at each. Obviously we want your best times as we consider teams for the freestyle relays."

Rin's heart picked up at the mention. He wanted the medley relay, but freestyle was still good. _We can swim that together._ He glanced at Haru; Haru was looking back at him, too, an eager spark in blue eyes.

"—Ikehara, Sugiyama, Matsuoka, Nanase, we don't need to time you, so you four will work with Akagi and Maekawa." Coach Fujino paused. "I'll describe the main set after that. Questions?" When there were none, he stepped aside. "All right—"

Haru was gone from Rin's side in a flash, almost before Coach Fujino stopped talking. While everyone else was fiddling with their goggles and moving leisurely towards the pool, Haru was diving into the water from the block on lane six.

Rin chuckled, lifting his goggles into place and snapping the strap behind his head. He climbed onto the block, waiting until Haru got far enough down the lane, and dove.

-x-

Assistant Coaches Akagi and Maekawa were waiting when they climbed out of the pool after finishing their warm ups.

Akagi—the guy with the almost shaved head and the earring—gave Rin and Haru a relaxed smile. "Matsuoka, Nanase. We'll work on relay exchanges to start with."

 _Easy enough_. "Sure," Rin said.

Haru shrugged.

Maekawa, her brown hair pulled back into a bouncy ponytail, moved to lane seven with Ikehara and Sugiyama. Meanwhile, the rest of the overall team was forming ranks behind lanes two, three, and four under the direction of Fujino and the rest of the coaching staff.

"Matsuoka, you'll swim first," Akagi said. "And just reset and repeat until I stop you. It should be obvious by now but freestyle is what we're working on today."

"Sounds good." Rin climbed onto the block and dove in. He swam about halfway and stopped, turning and waiting for Akagi to give him the signal. Seeing Haru on the block waiting for him felt like _home_ or something equally good.

Akagi studied Haru's form for a second, then raised his hand.

Rin grinned and ducked underwater, swimming to his friend—

…Haru was climbing out of the pool after exchange number fifteen when Akagi stopped them.

"OK, I can tell you guys are used to this." Akagi smiled. "Nanase, just a couple of things."

They did a handful more with those corrections in place and Akagi waved Rin out of the pool. "Alright, that's good for now. Let's change it up."

Rin blinked as he climbed out of the pool, the water sluicing off his skin and swimsuit. He pulled off his goggles briefly to let them defog. _But I always swim before Haru_ … It was the kid in him saying that. He couldn't remember the last time they'd done it the opposite way. Maybe back at Iwatobi SC when they were little, practicing exchanges or drilling... Rin resettled his goggles and climbed onto the block.

Haru was standing halfway down the lane and the look on his face was obvious when their eyes met. _This is weird._

Rin shrugged and set his feet for a relay start, taking his position. He was used to anchoring and he was used to swimming in the middle, so either way it shouldn't be an issue for him. And for Haru— _all you have to do is swim into the wall._

Down the lane, Haru drew a breath and started swimming towards him. Rin watched each stroke, timing and gauging the distance, waiting, waiting…

Timing-wise, he was sliver late off the blocks, but his mistake was flicking his gaze to Haru as he dove—the sight of Haru looking up at him from underneath fucked with his head. Countless moments came back to him—grazing touches, almost kisses…pinning Haru to the couch at karaoke or against the _tatami_ mats. But the thought that flashed foremost in Rin's mind wasn't the couch or the floor or the pool, but a bed—

 _Fuck._ His entry was sloppy and his rhythm was off—it took him three strokes to get it all back. _Damnit_. Rin stopped and set his feet on the bottom, wiping the water from his face. _Come on, Matsuoka. Get your head on straight!_ _Like there's time to be fucking around!_

A few seconds later, Haru swam out and popped up beside him. "Rin?"

Rin didn't look at him. Just his luck, Haru would be able to read it off his face anyways. "Nothing. Let's do that again." Without waiting for a reply, he swam back to the start and climbed out.

Akagi didn't say anything, so Rin got up onto the block again and into position…

He focused on Haru's smooth strokes this time, Haru's hands piercing the surface of the water, gliding closer, at that final stretch towards the wall— When he dove, he didn't look at Haru. Rin was on the edge of being too fast that time, but his entry was clean and his dolphin kick was strong. The timing was something he could correct with practice, as long as he didn't let himself get distracted.

They did five exchanges before Akagi pulled them in. Rin propped his goggles on his forehead—Haru did the same—and they clung to the side of the pool as Akagi crouched down next to them.

"Guys, I'm confused," Akagi said, his hands tucked into the pockets of his warmup jacket. "You're so obviously practiced the other way around."

"I only swim free," Haru said.

Akagi sighed. "Yeah, we all know, Nanase. All of Koutei knows."

"We're used to medley," Rin said. "I swim fly and Haru swims anchor." _That's the way we've always done it._

"Ah, got it." Akagi's expression softened. "Well, it's a freestyle relay. You have to be able to swim every position from lead to anchor." He straightened. "So let's work on this some more. The two of you just have to get used to switching up who's under and who's over for a while. Sound good?"

 _Why the fuck do you have to say it like that?_ Rin coughed, working his goggles down over his eyes. He felt Haru looking at him.

"I like that idea," Haru murmured as Rin climbed out.

Rin shot a glare in Haru's direction, but his friend had already ducked underwater to swim out into position. Rin exhaled slowly, forcing himself to calm down as he stepped onto the block. _Fuck_.

Movement to his left caught his attention—Sugiyama perched on the lane seven block as Ikehara swam breaststroke towards him.

 _They're working on exchanges, too._ Rin's heart fell. _Medley exchanges._ He gave himself a shake and deliberately turned his attention down the lane. _Yeah, there's no time at all for distractions._ He set his feet and readied himself. _Let's do this, Haru._

-x-

After the main set and cooldown, the only thing on Rin's mind was food. They rinsed off in the locker room showers, donned their warmups, and headed back to the Athlete's Village for lunch. They had an hour to eat and digest and then they had to be back at the pool for the afternoon session.

The dining hall was expansive and warmly lit, with high ceilings, skylights, wall-to-wall windows, and blonde wood flooring. The long tables sat twelve people apiece and glass doors set into the exterior walls led out into a tree-lined courtyard bordered by the various wings of the building. The cafeteria was full of healthy food options—lean main courses, carbohydrate-rich side dishes, along with a salad bar, rice, _miso_ soup, and drink dispensers—all self-serve. Each item was labeled with its nutritional content.

Rin loaded his tray with chicken, stewed vegetables, rice, green bean salad, and miso soup. He sighed when Haru appeared with two helpings of _saba_.

"What?" Haru asked. "I got vegetables, too."

" _Tch_. Come on."

They added drinks and carried their meals into the dining hall, looking for empty seats… There were a ton of athletes here, all different sports by the looks of it. But it was a sea of Team Japan warmups—they and the other first timers were the minority.

"Haruka!"

 _Damnit_. Takara was waving from a table near the windows. Haru headed that way; Rin grimaced and followed.

"Hey, save these seats, OK? I'm gonna get food with Seijuurou and Momotarou." Takara smiled and walked off without waiting for either of them to respond.

There were six empty chairs, albeit three of them occupied by gear bags belonging to Takara and the Mikoshiba brothers.

Haru took the seat next to Mikoshiba's bag. "I don't want to sit next to Takara. She's grabby."

 _I don't want you to, either_. Rin took the chair opposite Haru, leaving a one-seat buffer between him and Takara's seat.

For a few minutes, it was quiet and just the two of them…

"Nii-chan, but I don't _want_ to eat that…"

"Momotarou, you will eat it because it's good for you and it's good for your swimming!" The Mikoshiba brothers appeared, setting down trays filled with a colorful array of foods.

"But I just want to eat the hamburger steak!" Momo pouted as he pushed his bag to the floor and flopped down into his chair. His tray was piled high with vegetable sides around a hamburger steak in the middle. In fact, the brothers' trays were nearly identical except for the choice of main, so it was obvious who had gotten to pick what.

Mikoshiba laughed as he squeezed into his seat. "Come on, Momotarou. Just imagine that Gou-kun made it for you!"

Rin glared across the table. "Can you please stop using my sister as a motivational device?"

Haru coughed, almost choking, and reached for his glass of water. "Strawberry protein powder," he said, wincing, his voice hoarse.

"I oddly find myself agreeing with Matsuoka," Takara said as she set her tray down. Her damp hair was woven into a braid and tacked to the back of her head with a clip. "Cut the leash and let him run free. I'm sure Ikehara-senpai would appreciate him distracting some of the girls."

Rin followed her gaze to Ikehara leaving the food area, tray in hand, with several girls swarming around him. Ikehara was smiling and chatting with them politely, it looked like.

Takara thrust her hand into the air. " _Oi!_ Yoshiro-senpai!"

 _How are you on a first name basis with everyone?_ Then he thought about how Takara kissed Sousuke the other night and decided he didn't care and didn't want to know.

Ikehara noticed them and smiled. He said something to the girls that left them staring starry-eyed in his wake and headed over. "Sakamoto-san, you've got a spare seat?"

"With your name on it," Takara said, pulling it out for him.

"Thanks." Ikehara set his tray down and slipped in between Rin and Takara.

Rin glanced around, looking for Sugiyama. He finally found the guy sitting at a table outside in the courtyard with the Koutei assistant coaches—Akagi and Maekawa. At first he was irritated—thoughts of fair treatment and all, but maybe he was just being harsh. All three probably went way back, since they'd been on the Athens team together.

"How were your time trials today?" Ikehara asked as they ate. "Did you qualify for the relay?"

"I feel good about the two hundred," Takara said, reaching for her glass of juice. "Just two of us got under the relay qual time, though, so they'll have to decide if they'll give on the time or bring in some relay only. The hundred's in a similar position."

"I'd guess the latter," Mikoshiba said, using his serious captain's voice. "Coach Fujino is fond of letting people concentrate on what they're good at, particularly when there are other qualified people out there."

Ikehara nodded. "So's the JOC."

Rin listened, chewing on a chunk of stewed carrot. Across from him, Haru was pretending to ignore the conversation as he lifted a bit of fish into his rice bowl with his chopsticks and subsequently ate it, but Rin knew better.

"How about on the men's side?" Ikehara asked, sipping from a cup of _miso_ soup.

"I'm guessing a few phone calls will go out today," Mikoshiba said. "I'm just under for the two hundred, but there are other options from last week's trials. The hundred's in a more difficult position. The only two officially qualified to swim it are you guys." Mikoshiba glanced at Rin and Haru in turn. "But we'll see what split times come out when we start relay drills."

Rin tried not to get his hopes up, but Mikoshiba really made it sound like they were guaranteed spots on one freestyle relay, at least.

Ikehara swirled his cup of soup thoughtfully. The light in the room played with the copper in his hair. "The JASF sets those individual times expecting us to beat them in the actual relay. But," he shrugged, "there's still time. The deadline for relay only swimmers isn't until July first."

 _Wow, I really can't wait that long to know who's swimming what._ Rin grabbed a hunk of stewed potato with his chopsticks. July was two and a half months away.

"Would Sugiyama-senpai do it?" Mikoshiba asked.

Ikehara drank some _miso_ and sat back in his chair. "If Fujino asked him, he would."

The conversation lulled after that as everyone continued eating. Rin finished off his rice and vegetables, wanting to ask about the medley but equally _not_ wanting to ask about the medley—

"Ikehara-senpai, what do you think about the medley?" Momo, with bright eyes, leaned halfway across the table.

Rin went still, setting his chopsticks down, feeling like the food was going to stick in his mouth if he kept eating. Haru ate slower, dropping all pretense and glancing over.

Ikehara returned his empty soup cup to his tray. "Well, Momotarou-kun, there are multiple swimmers qualified for each leg. Coach Fujino and the JOC will have to spend time making that decision. You can bet we'll be swimming a lot of medley relay drills during the next few training camps."

Rin's fingers curled. He dropped his hands into his lap. "None of the legs are assigned yet?"

Ikehara glanced at him for a beat—Rin felt like his face was being read. "I'm not Coach Fujino, obviously, but I haven't heard anything."

…Which really didn't tell him much. But he nodded anyway.

Momo picked that moment to pop out of his chair. "I'll be right back."

Mikoshiba gave his brother a suspicious look, grabbing a handful of the kid's jacket. "Momotarou—"

"But Nii-chan, you _said_ if I ate everything I could have dessert." The boy squirmed.

"You were supposed to be too full to eat dessert!"

"Nii-chan tricked me!"

Mikoshiba sighed and let go. "Fine. But you can only have _one—_ "

"Hai!" Momo broke away and disappeared into the crowd.

"Excuse me, I have to go supervise." Mikoshiba got up and followed.

"I'm done. I'll see you guys at the pool," Takara said, grabbing her tray and getting up.

The sudden absence of noise was almost jarring. Rin finished off his milk, glancing at the clock. There was some time left, but they shouldn't linger too long.

"Matsuoka-kun."

Rin inhaled, trying to ignore a brush of nerves as he glanced at Ikehara. "Yeah?"

"I overheard a little bit at practice earlier—you guys want fly and free in the medley, don't you?"

Haru looked up as Ikehara spoke, though he didn't say anything.

"…Yeah," Rin said.

Ikehara nodded. "If you're able to drop another second off your hundred fly, you'll have a much better chance of getting it."

Then Sugiyama _was_ penciled in for that leg. Kawamura hadn't even qualified for the individual event, though he might've been under the relay time.

"Otherwise you might get alternate," Ikehara said. "Which, I know it isn't the same—swimming just in the heat and not in the final. It's pretty likely one of you will get the free, but that's only half of what you want." His brow creased sympathetically. "Sorry to rain on your parade, but I feel it's fair you know what you're up against."

"I appreciate it," Rin said, even though his insides were tying themselves into knots. But he'd dropped a full second in the trials. _I can do it here, too._ He glanced across the table. _Haru, we're going to get this._

Rin expected to see his own determination mirrored in Haru's eyes, but it wasn't. Haru's gaze was quiet and unruffled as usual. All Rin heard in his head was an echo of what Haru said a few days ago. _I like competing with you, Rin, but swimming with you is better._

Rin pressed his lips. _We were talking about the relay that time. At least I was._ "Haru…"

"I don't see any point in worrying about it, Rin," Haru said, lowering his eyes back to his rice bowl as he collected the final grains with his chopsticks. He shrugged. "It's just a second. You got this."

Rin exhaled hard. "That's what I was _trying_ to tell you."

"No, you weren't, you were freaking out again."

_Again? When have I ever gone and freaked out on you? …Well except for that time at regionals when Mikoshiba cut me from the relay team…or when I missed out on the two hundred meter free…_

"I can tell when you're doing it, Rin."

"Haru—" Rin squished his face with one hand. _How are we fighting about this? We're not even alone…_

"So you guys grew up swimming together, huh?"

Rin could just _hear_ the amused smile on Ikehara's face.

Haru traded his empty rice bowl for his half-full glass of juice. "We were on the same swim team in elementary school. We were rivals in high school. I'm glad we're on the same team together, finally."

 _Haru_. Rin lowered his hand. Their gazes met.

"I _want_ to swim medley with you, Rin," Haru said quietly. "But even if we were only swimming one thing together, I'd still be happy. Because I get to swim with you."

 _Haru, fuck._ Rin felt the heat rush to his neck and face, certain he was the color of Ikehara's jacket, if not even more purple. _Why do you have to say the most embarrassing things ever?_ _And so earnestly mean them?_ He wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor or hide beneath the table. He settled for covering his face with one hand since the other options weren't really available to him.

"You guys are really lucky," Ikehara said. "Being able to pursue your dream together. I might be tempted to say something similar to the Mikoshiba brothers, but it's reasonably common for siblings to compete together." He paused, lowering his voice. "What you guys have, though, is pretty rare and special. A lot of people here would be jealous if they realized."

Rin heard Ikehara's chair scrape back. "I'll see you guys at practice. Hang in there, Matsuoka. Breathe a little, champ. You'll make it."

Rin waved with his other hand, wondering if he'd ever been so mortified in his entire life. Maybe the time he accidentally called the coach 'Mom' at swim practice in elementary school. But maybe not…

"Rin…did I say something weird?"

Rin let out the breath he was holding, still not trusting himself to look up. "Haru, just…" He sighed and gave up, giving his tray a little push, so he could lay his forearms on the table. He hunched down and looked at the puzzled expression on his friend's face. _Haru, I don't know if I want to kiss you or throttle you or make love to you or… Maybe all of those things. But for now, just…_ "Don't ever change, Haru." _You're perfect._ Rin sat up and raked one hand roughly through his hair. "We should get going." He pushed his chair back and stood. _And if we're always together, I'd be happy too._

-x-

"After warm ups, sixteen of you will be doing freestyle relay drills," Coach Fujino said, standing in front of the whiteboard near the starting blocks. "The rest of you will work a main set with Assistant Coaches Maekawa and Akagi. For the relay group." Fujino pointed to his scrawl in black marker on the board. "Four sets of descending four-by-one hundreds and four-by-two hundreds, on five and ten minutes, respectively. Final set is all-out and timed. My staff and I will be tracking DQ's and late starts. A tally of five and bad things will happen to your team." The coach smiled as he said it, a rumble of nervous laughter going through the group. "After that set, we'll shuffle the teams and repeat. The first set of teams is listed here with the suggested order, but change it up if you find something that works better. Any questions?"

Rin glanced at the board, which put him on a team with Kawamura, Sugiyama, and another guy. Haru was on the second team with Mikoshiba and two others. Then there were two women's teams, with Takara on one of them. Neither Momo nor Ikehara were listed, so Rin assumed the two weren't being considered for the relays at all. Well, Momo hated swimming anything but backstroke, so it was probably for the best.

The suggested order put Kawamura first, Sugiyama third, and Rin at anchor. On the other men's team, Mikoshiba was third and Haru had anchor. So they'd be battling it out on the final leg, just like old times…

After warm ups were complete, Rin's team was assigned to lane one for the relay set. He took his place in line with Haru in the same position on his left, as Kawamura climbed onto the block in blue jammers.

Coach Fujino had the whistle. "Four-by-one hundred. Take your marks…"

The whistle blew and the first four swimmers were off. Rin smoothed his cap, his goggles perched on his forehead. Roughly a minute later, the swimmers were approaching the wall… Rin cringed at the slow start of the second swimmer. Hopefully it wasn't late enough to get tallied. Sugiyama—in black jammers slashed with red—climbed onto the block after Kawamura got out. Rin moved up…

Sugiyama's exchange was damn near perfect—on time, good form, good speed. The guy swam with an almost robotic precision. Sugiyama started later than Mikoshiba in lane two, but easily made up the gap through the turn and pulled ahead.

Rin and Haru took the blocks, getting into position… Rin watched Sugiyama's smooth strokes hammering the water with metronome regularity. He knew exactly when to start his jump. Rin dove seconds ahead of Haru in the adjacent lane, holding a reasonable speed for the first set…

Until Haru was suddenly next to him and old habits took over. They were racing into the flip turn and all the way back, Rin hitting the wall just ahead of Haru. They climbed out of the pool, breathing hard and sharing a glance—Rin couldn't help grinning.

A minute later, Fujino had them back on the blocks for the 4x200…

Rin's brain felt scrambled by the time they were done with the full set. What lap was it again? One hundred or two hundred or…? His team finished with four tallies, but not five, thankfully. Takara's team had to do pushups while Coach Fujino wrote on the board.

Rin's new team was in lane two. Haru was first, Rin was second, Mikoshiba was third, and Sugiyama had anchor. At least he and Haru had practiced enough exchanges earlier that Rin knew he wasn't going to fuck it up this time. _Just don't look, don't think…_ _We're swimming relay together_. Rin smiled to himself. _Imagine this is Rio and the other teams are from different countries and the stands are full of cheering people waving flags…_

After Haru dove in at the start, Rin grinned and took his place—

When it was time for the all-out, Rin and Haru's team finished significantly faster than the other three. He was exhausted but happy as he watched Sugiyama bring it home as anchor, with one arm slung around Haru's shoulders as they both caught their breath. Whatever else, the guy could swim. Rin wasn't sure their overall time in the hundred was that great, but in the two hundred…

Regardless, Fujino looked pleased as he sent them all back into the pool for cooldown.

Rin wanted to fall asleep in the shower, standing up. But he couldn't, because they had clinic next.

They all piled back into the conference room on the first floor of the main training building. A light snack had been set—fruit and cheese, crackers, and hot tea. They devoured it all in minutes and then listened to a presentation on sponsors' expectations.

Finally, Assistant Coach Maekawa took over, a few minutes before five pm. Her hair was down again—she had Momo's full attention as well as several of the other guys'—and she was standing next to a giant cardboard box with a whiteboard behind her as she wielded a black marker.

"Any confusion on what you have to turn in tomorrow?" Maekawa asked. She tapped the board with her marker. "You must come with these five forms completely filled out. That's your homework. Secondly." She pointed to a heading that said 'Room assignments.' "Hopefully you've all gotten to know each other a little bit today. It's three to a room. If you have preferences, let me know before six pm. You can get your room key from the front desk after six-thirty." She paused to sigh. "No mixed gender—don't even ask." Stowing the marker on the metal edge of the whiteboard, she returned to the giant cardboard box. "Lastly, Akagi and I will be passing out your new team warmups."

Rin straightened, antsy and excited. _Yes! Finally!_

"These are based on the sizes you requested, so if they don't fit—too bad." Maekawa smiled. "Just kidding—let us know and we'll trade you. Just don't, you know, roll around in it and _then_ decide you want a different set. Everyone's got that?"

There was an impatient silence…

"Alright, come up when we call your name."

Akagi pulled the first package from the box. "Otani-san."

The girl leapt up and raced to the front of the room, grabbing the clear plastic package and hugging it to her chest.

"Ozawa-san."

"Kawamura-kun."

"Sakamoto-san."

Rin watched athlete after athlete go up to receive a parcel. The room was filled with the sounds of plastic being ripped open, jackets and pants freed. The girls were holding the garments up to themselves and grinning ear-to-ear at each other.

Maekawa paused, another package in hand. She raised her voice to be heard over the noise. "By the way, just because some of you are still wearing your swimsuits does _not_ mean you should change here—"

But a black warmup jacket was already flying, along with a pair of black warmup pants…and it was all over. Clothes went everywhere. Maekawa threw her hands into the air, rolled her eyes and went back to handing out the packages.

"Matsuoka-kun. Nanase-kun."

They went up together, grabbing the parcels and returning to the general area of their seats. Rin regarded the package with reverence for about a second, then he tore it open, pulling out the red and white jacket and red pants. He and Haru shared a glance…and then their warmups were on the floor and they were donning their jackets and shimmying into their new pants over their swimsuits.

He zipped the jacket up over his tank top, about halfway. The fit was perfect. The jacket had a sponsor's logo on the upper right and on the upper left was the Japanese flag and a patch with _his name_.

"Haru." Rin grinned, knowing he was seconds away from losing it.

Haru had half-turned away, displaying the JAPAN in white letters across the back, with a _sakura_ blossom as part of the first A. "Rin, _look_." Haru smiled. "Team Japan."

 _Damnit_. Rin sniffed hard and crashed into Haru, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend's shoulders. " _Haru_." His vision blurred and he couldn't see straight anymore.

" _Rin_." Haru _somehow_ twisted in the embrace and his arms encircled Rin's waist, squeezing.

For once Rin didn't fight the emotion that was welling up inside him. His face was damp, pressed against Haru's hair. Because his dream was _real_ and _happening_ and this day was the best day of his life with so many better ones yet to come.

And because of Haru. They were hugging in the midst of all the chaotic celebrating and in the back of Rin's mind he knew he should think about letting go at some point… But he didn't want to, ever.

When Haru shifted, Rin raised his head. His eyes went wide when he met blue eyes that were glassy with liquid and Haru was still smiling…

Haru loosened one hand, lifting it to Rin's face and brushing away the moisture. "Rin…because of our dream?"

Rin grinned. "Yeah." He blinked and another few tears slipped down his cheeks. Haru looked so happy and Rin loved the tender touch of Haru's fingers against his face. He didn't want the moment to end but at some point, someone was going to think this was weird, so—

"Rin-senpai! Rin-senpai!" Momo leapt onto Rin's back and it was only Haru against him that saved them all from tumbling to the floor. "I look cool, don't I? Don't I?"

Rin grunted. "Momo! You're heavy!"

The kid just grinned.

"Guys, aren't these great?" Mikoshiba appeared next to them with hands propped on both hips. His jacket was open, though, and _of course_ he wasn't wearing a shirt. The whole room was just lucky he'd put the pants on over his speedo. "Now we're all one big happy team!" He flung his arms around all three of them, hugging them fiercely. "Takara-kun, get over here!"

Takara appeared, fully dressed her new warmups, a wary look on her face. "What, Seijuurou? Like hell I'm getting anywhere near that man-pile of yours—"

"Haha, you are!" Mikoshiba grabbed her and Takara was suddenly pressed against Rin's side, squished in the crook of Mikoshiba's arm.

"Hey!" Takara frowned and turned red. She folded her arms over her breasts. "You all better watch your hands and any other appendages, or I'll kick your ass!"

Rin still had his arms tucked around Haru's shoulders. "It's not gonna be me, Sakamoto."

Takara glared up at him, but only for a moment. Then she looked away. "Just this once, Matsuoka, and we're not telling anyone about this."

Rin laughed. "Deal. I'm sure all thirty of us won't ever mention it."

Haru snorted with amusement, which was the closest he ever got to an actual laugh.

" _Now_ we're all one big happy team!" Mikoshiba tightened his long arms and that only forced them all closer together.

Rin's forehead was touching Haru's and their faces were too near to even look at each other anymore. So Rin closed his eyes and just enjoyed it…

"Nii-chan, I wanna get down."

"Momotarou, we are having a team moment!"

"But I have to pee…"

The whole group rumbled with laughter and disentangled, though it was with reluctance that Rin let Haru go. Haru also seemed slow to step back.

Momo ran off to the bathroom and everyone else was starting to clean up and filter out of the room.

Rin grabbed his discarded warmups from the floor.

"Rin, you wanna pick a roommate or have one assigned?" Haru asked, his old warmups bundled in his arms.

"Ehh." Rin looked around at who was still present. "I guess have one assigned…" His eyes landed on Ikehara, who had pulled a chair to the very back of the room and sat there smiling at something on his phone. _Doesn't hurt to ask._ He glanced at Haru.

Haru shrugged and nodded.

Rin dumped his warmups onto a chair and headed over. "Hey, Ikehara-senpai…"

"Yeah?" Ikehara glanced up and smiled. "Oh, I got some good ones."

The guy was looking at pictures. _That's just great…_

Ikehara laughed. "Don't worry. I won't post these anywhere. But it's good fodder for our post-Rio party, when we all get home." He lowered the phone. "What's up?"

"Eh." Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just wondering if you already had the roommate situation sorted out, or if not…"

Ikehara's eyes flicked between him and Haru. "Oh, you guys are looking for a third? Well, if you don't mind rooming with one of the old guys. …Though I'll warn you, I go to bed pretty early and I'm not into partying or anything like that. We're here to train."

Rin smiled, looking to Haru for confirmation. "Yeah, sounds great to us."

"Alright then." Ikehara got to his feet. "I'm in."

-x-

They had dinner in the Athlete's Village dining hall, then claimed their luggage and headed up to the seventh floor. From the elevator at the center of the U-shape, the hall branched out in either direction. Both ends of the floor had little lobbies/study spaces with a fridge, sink, and hot water dispenser, along with armchairs and desks. Large windows looked out at the city skyline. The sun had set and the tops of buildings near and far pulsed with red lights.

Rin found their room and opened the door. There were three beds with striped, caramel-colored blankets and nightstands on the right, and a closet and desk area with a small flat screen TV on the left. The room was dorm style—no bathroom. (The communal bathrooms were near the elevators.) Floor-to-ceiling glass doors served as windows and led out onto the balcony. Their room was on the inside of the U, facing other athletes' rooms across the courtyard. The only other item in the room was a free-standing heater.

"Ikehara-senpai, what's your bed preference?" Rin asked.

Ikehara carried a small black duffle bag. "I'll take the window if you guys don't mind. That way you can come and go without worrying about waking me up after I go to bed."

"All yours," Rin said. He glanced at Haru. "Middle or door?"

Haru looked between the two and shrugged as if to say, _a bed's a bed, right?_ "I'll take the one near the door." He set his travel bag on the foot of the bed. "The middle one might be a little quieter for you."

Rin hadn't even thought of that. Just having a bed instead of a futon was already pretty nice. _But you were thinking of me._ "Thanks, Haru."

He set his duffle bag on the bed and started pulling out what he'd need for the night—pajamas and his toiletry case. "So there's a huge bath on the first floor, right?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty nice facility," Ikehara said, unpacking several items onto his nightstand. "A hot bath, a jet pool, and a plunge pool. There's a sauna too."

"Sounds great." Better than great—relaxing in a hot bath to ease his tired muscles sounded amazing.

"You guys go ahead." Ikehara kicked off his shoes and flopped down onto the bed with his laptop. "I'm gonna Skype my family before my daughter has to go to bed."

Rin blinked. "You're married?" _You have a kid?_

"Yeah, check it out." Ikehara flipped the laptop around, showing Rin his wallpaper. It was a photo of a woman with dark brown hair in a blue sweater, smiling and cuddling a grinning baby in a white onesie with teddy bears on it. The baby had a soft fuzz of dark hair and wore a stretchy pink headband. "This photo's a little old. Mana's turning three in June."

 _Three?_ Rin was vaguely aware of Haru appearing at his side, also looking at the screen.

"Cute baby," Haru said.

"Thanks!" Ikehara grinned. "Chiyo and I went to college together. So we were dating when I was training for Beijing. We finally got married just before the trials for London. I tried to tell her we'd have our honeymoon in the Olympic Village on the lovely River Lea, but she was _not_ having it." He laughed. "I made it up to her. We spent a couple weeks in Phuket after London. And then Manami came along."

Rin sat down on the edge of his bed, feeling oddly numb. If there were people out there who made it work… _Why didn't you, Dad? What was wrong with me that you had to give up your dream?_

"…Rin?" Haru touched his left shoulder.

Rin came back to himself with a shake. "Yeah, sorry. I just kind of spaced out for a second."

Haru was looking down at him, concern bright in blue eyes.

Rin met his gaze. _I'm OK._

Haru's eyes eased a little.

"Matsuoka-kun, if you're feeling faint or something, there's onsite medical staff around the clock," Ikehara said.

"No, I'm..." Rin rolled his shoulders. "I'm alright."

"Well…maybe skip the sauna, OK? Don't overdo it on day one."

"Yeah," Rin said, getting up. He grabbed his stuff so he could head to the bathroom and change.

Haru followed him out into the hallway.

Rin shook his head. "I really am fine. It just kind of hit me—about my dad."

"Yeah," Haru said. "I know."

Rin forced a smile. "Anyways, where's your stuff? You're coming down, right?"

Haru slipped his hands into the pockets of his new warmup jacket. "I'm gonna stay up here. I need to get some work done on my assignment."

"Haru, you're refusing pool time? Are _you_ feeling OK?"

"Yeah." Haru's eyes softened. "It gets loud and crowded down there. I don't like it. So this is kind of my thing when I'm here."

"Drawing…water." Rin smiled for real.

"Or other stuff…" Haru trailed off and shrugged. "But you should go. I'll still be up when you get back."

Rin inhaled. "OK." He headed down the hall and glanced over his shoulder, waving. "See you later then."

"Yeah." Haru waved back.

-x-

The bath was pandemonium like Haru said. It felt like a contest of how many naked men could fit into one place. Then add Momo running around and Mikoshiba chasing his brother down and yelling at him not to run—

The place _was_ really nice—the soaking pool was huge with a broad ledge for sitting and a deeper section. The whirlpool also had lots of seating. And there were a couple dozen shower alcoves for sitting down and washing, all equipped with containers of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap.

But Rin didn't stay long. He wasn't in the mood to chat or socialize. And even though everyone was trying to be quiet (except Momo), the dull roar of conversation was still so loud that he couldn't think.

Rin got out of the soaking pool and wrapped a towel around his waist, heading for the adjacent locker room. He dried off and changed into soft pants and a tank top, letting his hair air-dry. It was after nine pm when he stepped off the elevator onto their floor; the place was quiet.

The nightlight in their room was still on. In the bed near the glass doors, Ikehara was tucked under the covers of his bed, asleep. Haru wasn't there, though. Rin dropped his stuff off, scrubbing his damp hair with a towel as he headed out to the nearby lobby at the end of the hall.

No one was there and he almost turned around, until he caught a glimpse of black hair from a chair near the window.

"Haru?"

Haru didn't answer. Rin headed over quietly, still toweling the moisture from his hair.

He saw Haru in the reflection in the window first, curled up in an armchair with a blue blanket, his sandals kicked to the floor. He was still in his warmups…and he'd fallen asleep. A sketchbook lay open across Haru's lap, the pencil unattended on the blanket, a short distance from his fingers.

Rin's steps slowed. He looked so peaceful that Rin almost hated to wake him up. But Haru would be better served sleeping in a proper bed tonight.

The blanket was a soft blue and looked vaguely familiar. Something Haru brought from home? Rin's shadow fell across his friend as he came up behind the armchair, curious what water feature Haru was working on now…

But the drawing was the night skyline out the window—no pools or water anywhere. Huh. Haru was several pages into the sketchbook, though Rin wasn't about to go thumbing through Haru's drawings.

Rin left the towel on his head. He leaned down, resting an arm against the back of the chair, and gently grasped Haru's right shoulder. "Haru, wake up."

Haru stirred. "Rin…" He stretched a little and closed the sketchbook, the pages fluttering until the black cover landed solidly on top.

Rin hadn't let go yet. "Aren't you coming to bed?"

Haru reached up and took hold of the hand he'd left there, yawning. "Yeah. I'll come to bed." But he made no move to get up. Instead, Haru rested his head against Rin's arm like a pillow, his hair soft against Rin's skin.

 _Haru._ Rin sighed, the tension draining from his limbs. He draped his other arm across Haru's shoulders and pressed his face into Haru's hair, inhaling the familiar scent of chlorine. _I never get enough of touching you._ He felt Haru's exhale against his wrist, long and slow and peaceful. Rin smiled, curling his fingers around Haru's. _Are you falling asleep again?_

Lifting his eyes, he caught sight of their reflection in the window, seeing how easy and open and normal it looked—their embrace, their clasped hands.

Haru was awake, his eyes studying the window almost as if he were memorizing…

"…Haru?"

Those blue eyes relaxed. "I like this."

Rin drew breath, his cheeks heating.

When Haru moved, tilting his head back against the cushions, Rin's gaze followed, so that they were looking at each other upside-down. Rin's towel hung to either side of their faces like a curtain. They were close like this, but he was too comfortable to pull away, and the disarming, sleepy look Haru was giving him…

Haru reached up with his free hand, tangling his fingers into the hem of the towel. "Do I get a kiss goodnight, Rin? Like when we were kids?"

Rin's face went from warm to _on fire_. " _Haru—"_

Haru smiled faintly, black hair shifting across his brow. "Rin, I'm kidding." But those eyes said he wasn't—not completely.

 _Like when we were kids…_ Rin swallowed, glancing at Haru's mouth and wanting to— _God_ , he wanted to…

Ah, hell, no one was around anyways.

Rin tightened his grip on Haru's hand as he moved in. Haru's eyes widened…then softened to welcoming…inviting—

Rin sank against pliant lips, the towel slipping off his head and shadowing their faces as it fell… He was holding his breath, his heart hammering in his chest, feeling the gentle pressure of a kiss received and returned—

It was brief—over too soon and yet almost too long to still meet the 'when we were kids' criteria.

Rin's face was _burning_ as he drew back. _I just…_

Haru's cheeks were bright red. "Rin…"

"What?" he asked, embarrassment flooding him.

"I didn't think you'd really do it."

 _Damnit_. Rin straightened up behind the chair, though Haru still held his hand captive. _Fuck_ , even the tips of his ears were on fire— "You said like when we were kids. It's not a big deal."

Haru's eyes glittered with amusement. "If it's not a big deal, we can do it again tomorrow, right?"

Rin tugged his hand free and rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away. "Stop messing around. We have to go to bed."

Haru yawned and got up. "I know. I'm coming."

* * *

Wednesday, April 13th, 2016

* * *

It rained overnight. Rin woke up to fading gray clouds pierced by shafts of sunlight. He shifted in bed, comfortable and warm. On the bed closest to the windows, Ikehara was awake—sitting up with a pair of glasses perched on his nose as he worked on his forms. _Oh yeah, gotta get those done…_

Rin sat up and stretched, glancing at Haru's bed. Haru was a tiny ball under the covers, curled up towards him, just the upper half of his head peeking out from beneath the blankets. _You are so fucking adorable when you sleep._ Rin sighed and pushed the covers back, climbing out of bed and righting his twisted tank top and pants. He slipped into his sandals. Nodding a greeting at Ikehara, he grabbed his toiletries case and headed for the door. Haru's blue blanket was tossed over the foot of his bed, along with his warmup jacket and pants. Rin couldn't help but think of last night by the lobby window…the way Haru's lips fit against his… Kissing Haru was like _sakura_ trees in springtime. And getting kissed back was—

Rin ran a hand through his hair. _Yeah, stop thinking about it_. He grasped the doorknob firmly and left the room, heading for the bathroom.

Rin ignored the pink staining his cheeks as he washed his face with cold water and brushed his teeth.

On the way back to their room, he passed Haru in the corridor—Haru who was wearing a white T-shirt with leaping dolphins on the front and his red warmup pants, and carrying a swimsuit with his toothbrush.

"'Morning, Rin," Haru said, covering his mouth as he yawned.

"'Morning." Their shoulders brushed in the narrow hall.

Back in their room, Rin laid out his clothes for later and grabbed his JOC bag. He claimed one of the desk seats to work on his forms.

When Haru came back, he wordlessly took the seat next to Rin, shuffling his own stack of paper and starting in.

-x-

After breakfast, they lost Ikehara to a group of admirers, so Rin and Haru headed up to the sky bridge on their own. It felt good—wearing their matching Team Japan warmups. It would be great when they got their matching gear bags, too. Rin's usual one was getting a little worn.

They climbed three flights of stairs and walked through a set of double doors into the glass-walled bridge. The sun had come out, filling the corridor with light and shining on the right-hand windows. Rin's gaze caught on a sheet of perfect raindrops clinging to the glass, sparkling like crystals or tiny stars… It was such a normal thing, but for whatever reason it struck him as beautiful and he slowed his steps.

Haru stopped altogether, but Rin didn't realize it until he was a short distance away.

"Haru…?" Rin turned and found Haru gazing at the water in quiet awe, the light refracted by the raindrops showering him in miniature sunbursts. Rin forgot how to think. Because it was Haru—his Haru—and he was beautiful and Rin wanted to embrace him and kiss him and _not_ like last night. He wanted to kiss Haru for real. Not like silly twelve-year-olds but like _'us now'_ with all kinds of feelings and emotion and passion behind it…

 _But I promised I wouldn't let anyone distract me. Even you, Haru._ Rin swallowed hard. He gathered himself with a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying desperately to think of something else—anything else—as his hands curled at his sides. When he thought he had it together, he opened his eyes—

Haru was studying him again—azure eyes searching—and Rin panicked inside. Could Haru tell? Was it showing on his face? Rin's mouth went dry, his heart pounding a heavy rhythm in his chest.

Haru, with his hands in the pockets of his warmup jacket, moved away from the glass, slowly coming even with him. Rin held his ground and his breath, heat climbing his throat.

"Rin, it's OK," Haru said, his voice soft. "You don't have to keep doing that."

Rin inhaled. "Doing what?"

"Enduring…" Haru's face clouded. He averted his gaze, looking out the window. "Sorry. Last night, I shouldn't have…" His forehead creased with regret. "You said this was what you wanted—just like this, but I still asked…"

"Haru…" _Why are you apologizing for something I did?_

Haru lifted his eyes and the blue depths were glossy. "You should be _free_ , Rin."

" _Haru._ " Rin reached out and grabbed Haru's right arm. "You think I took that as a dare? I _wanted_ to—" The words came out before he really thought about what he was saying.

Haru's eyes widened, pink dusting his cheekbones. "Rin…"

The doors that led onto the sky bridge rattled, opening to admit a couple of their teammates.

Rin let go, dropping his hand to his side. _Smooth, Matsuoka, getting into this here.._.

The girls glanced their way, giving a hesitant wave as they passed by, as if they could sense they'd interrupted something.

Rin and Haru nodded back, letting the girls get a ways across the bridge…

"We should go," Rin said, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning.

"…Yeah."

On the other side of the bridge, Rin got the door—

"Do you think it's that fragile, Rin?" Haru asked from behind him. "Our dream."

 _Our dream._ Rin's fingers tightened on the door handle.

"…Or could it handle more?" Haru paused. "If that's what we both wanted?"

The words hung in the air between them, fading into a silence where neither of them seemed to be breathing. Rin wasn't. He swallowed hard.

For one tantalizing second, he let himself consider it _. Not like when we were kids, but…_ The _more_ that part of him longed for. _Real_ kisses and belonging to each other and holding hands whenever they wanted to and going home together…and nights in bed, naked skin against the sheets, and knowing what Haru sounded like—

Rin's breath came out in a hard puff and he deliberately clamped down on his thoughts. _I can't—we can't_. He closed his eyes, the pain like a stab of ice in his chest. …Because a dream that could be attained or lost in a sliver of a second _was_ that fragile.

He tried to work moisture back into his mouth, but his voice was still a hoarse whisper as he turned. "Haru…"

"It was a hypothetical question," Haru said, rounding him without making eye-contact and starting down the stairs.

 _Haru, I didn't mean to…_ Rin gripped the door handle, frozen in place, hating leaving things like this but he didn't know what else to do—

Haru stopped when he got to the nearest landing of the stairwell, glancing back. "Rin, we've got fifteen minutes. Wanna do a couple laps?"

 _God, yes_. Rin exhaled mightily and hurried to catch up.

-x-

Sugiyama was just leaving the 25m pool in the basement when they got there and gave them an odd look as they stripped poolside.

Rin didn't bother with his swim cap—he went goggles only like Haru—as they climbed onto the blocks, gave themselves a one-count, and dove...

Four hundred all-out later, they were both breathing hard, flush with exertion. Rin stripped off his goggles and grabbed Haru over the lane line. He hugged his friend fiercely as if—for one moment—the expectations, obligations, and even dreams didn't matter. Haru was hugging him back, just as tightly, and Rin didn't want to let go—

But he glanced at the clock. " _Shit_ , Haru, we gotta go—"

They broke apart, Haru following his gaze, and they raced out of the pool, grabbing their clothes and gear—

They were dressed and damp—but not dripping—when they made it to the conference room.

Assistant Coach Maekawa lifted a brow as they turned in their forms at the front of the room, though she didn't comment on their state of appearance or the fact that they were almost late. "Go on and sit down." Her lips pursed faintly, like she was trying not to laugh. "Don't drip on anything."

Rin ignored Takara's glare and Mikoshiba's thumbs-up from the front row. He and Haru took their seats swiftly, finally getting a chance to catch their breath. He couldn't help grinning and glancing aside at his friend. Haru met his gaze askance, smiling with his eyes.

And Rin knew that they would be OK. Swimming together and pursuing their dream together like this…it was enough.

* * *

Friday, April 15th, 2016

* * *

The sky was dark when they left the subway station, carrying their matching red and white gear bags along with the rest of their luggage.

"You're taking tomorrow off, right? To look for a place," Haru said, as they paused near the station's exit, out of the way of the flow of traffic.

"Nah." Rin shook his head. "Just most of the day. I'll be at practice in the morning."

Haru nodded. He looked like he might say something else, but was cut off by a buzzing phone. _Makoto, probably._ Rin waited as Haru pulled the phone from his pocket, glancing at the glowing screen briefly. He tried not to be jealous.

Haru pocketed the phone. "'Night, Rin," he said with a wave, turning to go.

"'Night, Haru." Rin shoved his hands into his pockets and turned in the opposite direction.

-x-

Sousuke was home when Rin got back—sitting at the table near the kitchen with five books spread open in front of him. "Rin." Sousuke leaned back as he walked in, smiling warmly. Green eyes flicked over his Team Japan warmups. "Looking sharp."

"Thanks." Rin grinned, pushing a hand through his hair as he set his bags down.

"Though maybe you should explain why you look damp in this group photo with the JOC President…"

Rin glanced at the newspaper Sousuke was holding—yesterday's edition with a large picture of the national swim team splashed across the front page. The photo was taken Wednesday morning; he and Haru were the only ones with wet hair. "Ehh…"

Sousuke chuckled and closed his notebook, leaving the newspaper on top. He was wearing a gray sweater and casual black pants. "You want coffee or something?" There was a mug of the stuff on the table—still steaming.

"Hm, you've got tea, right?" Rin headed into the kitchen, pulling the cupboard open. "Like decaf?"

"Who drinks _decaf_?"

Rin paused his perusing of the various packages. _Right. Guess it's better if I don't think about that._

Sousuke came into the kitchen, setting the kettle on the stove and lighting the gas burner.

Rin grabbed the roasted green tea and prepped a cup for himself as he waited for the water.

"So?" Sousuke leaned back against the sink and folded his arms, looking even larger than usual in the narrow space. He fixed Rin with an expectant smile. "Aren't you gonna tell me all about it?"

Rin propped a hip against the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen. "Well, nothing's been officially decided yet, but I've likely got spots on both freestyle relays."

"Of course you do. They'd be idiots to _not_ pick you given your times." Sousuke gave him a fond but exasperated look. "They got you swimming anchor yet in the medley?"

Rin sobered. "No," he said. "We pretty much focused on the free."

"Well, only a matter of time. The lineup's obvious—Momo on back, Ikehara Yoshiro on breaststroke, Sugiyama Noboru on fly…and you on free."

He looked away. "Nothing's been decided yet."

Sousuke lowered his voice. "You've got the strongest free, Rin. You made that obvious in the fifty final last week."

Rin inhaled, his face smooth. "We _tied_ , you remember."

"Just the clock." The kettle began to whistle and Sousuke moved to attend to it. "It was pretty clear to everyone, afterwards. That you sailed through that race while Nanase struggled."

His back tensed. "Yeah, well, his struggling—"

"Gimme your cup, Rin." Sousuke held out his hand and sighed. "Sorry." His eyes said he meant it. "I'm not trying to get at you or anything."

Rin released his breath slowly, passing the mug over. _Then we'd better fucking change the subject._

Sousuke poured. "You've got some time off, now?"

"No." He rolled his shoulders. "Just individual training. I'll be working with the Koutei coaching staff here. …Thanks." He took the cup Sousuke offered him, setting it beside him on the counter to let the tea steep. "I got access to the pool, gym, and all. Next camp starts on the 25th."

Sousuke set the kettle aside, giving him a relaxed smile. "That'll be here before you know it."

"Yeah." Rin glanced down at the floor. The tension left his back, but an awkward feeling took over instead. _No point drawing it out_. "By the way, Sousuke… I'm gonna look for a place tomorrow. Thanks for letting me crash and all. I want to be a little closer to campus if I can."

Sousuke was quiet for a beat. When Rin looked up, his best friend's smile had faded somewhat.

"Well, you have options, right? Tachibana…Mikoshiba… Assuming Momo's headed home for a week of school."

"Yeah, I know." Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "But I want some space to myself for a while. Now that I made the team, I'm back and I have to start thinking about more than just next week. Coach Fujino's club at Koutei is the best around—and he wants me on it going forward. Right now I'm focused on Rio, but it's not like I'm stopping there. The World Cup is after that, plus World Championships next year…and Tokyo 2020." He smiled. "I'm all in, you know?"

"Yeah." Sousuke matched his smile. "I know."

* * *

Saturday, April 16th, 2016

* * *

It was early on Saturday morning and the Koutei 25m pool was all roped up for practice. Haru beat him there, of course, already working free in the second lane with Assistant Coach Maekawa scrutinizing his form. They largely had the pool to themselves except for two lanes for casual swimmers.

Akagi was waiting when Rin came out to the pool deck in his leg skins, carrying his swim cap and goggles. The guy wore his Team Japan warmup pants with a black sponsor's T-shirt. "'Morning, Matsuoka. You want in on this?" Akagi jabbed a thumb at Haru's work in the second lane.

Rin flicked his eyes to the whiteboard, studying Haru's set with a glance. "Actually, I prefer to work stroke today."

Akagi twisted around. "Mae-chan, let's trade. Matsuoka wants to work fly."

Maekawa withdrew from her place behind the blocks, coming over to join them. Her brown hair was tamed into a wavy tail, her warmup jacket tied around her waist. She and Akagi wore matching T-shirts. "Sure. What did you have in mind?"

In the third lane, Haru had paused with one hand on the side of the pool near the blocks, taking the thirty-second rest prescribed by his set.

Rin shrugged like it was nothing much. "Dropping a second in the hundred. To start."

Maekawa smiled, a spark lighting in her eyes. " _Now_ you're speaking my language. Go ahead and warm up. I'll finagle us the cameras. Lane one."

She headed off and Rin climbed onto the block on lane one—grinning as he met the pleased look in Haru's eyes behind tinted goggles.

Haru started back down the lane. Rin smoothed his cap onto his head, snapped the strap of his goggles, and dove in, catching up—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [National Training Center virtual tour](https://www.ajinomoto.co.jp/ajitoreonline/tour/)


	8. 4-by-100 meter focus and distance

Sunday, April 24th, 2016

* * *

"Rin, here. Take a look."

"Just a sec, Haru." Rin started rinsing the dish, but Makoto plucked it from his hands.

"Go. I got it," Makoto said, smiling.

"Thanks." Rin shook soapy water from his fingers and turned from the sink, pausing to dry off on the dish towel hanging from the side of the fridge. He flicked a bit of hair from his face that had escaped his ponytail.

Haru had a laptop open on top of the _kotatsu_ in the center of Rin's apartment, his legs beneath the striped, cream-colored blanket that was patterned with tan branches and red blossoms. He was wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt with a dolphin on the front, his ebony hair glossy beneath the overhead lights.

Rin approached by way of the closet on the right-hand side of the room, grabbing a charcoal gray hoodie and slipping it on over his tank top and pants. He paused with a glance at the windows above the bed—the glass panes were streaked with rain, the dark night outside making the room seem colder than the thermometer said it was. Fighting a shiver, he crossed between his friend and the bed, sitting down on Haru's right with his back towards the left-hand wall. Rin fluffed the blanket, sitting cross-legged, his lower body enveloped by the warmth beneath the table.

Haru angled the laptop so Rin could see the screen.

He braced one hand behind Haru and leaned over, their shoulders bumping gently. Rin lifted his brows at the cascade of numbers on the spreadsheet Haru had open, dates ranging back more than a decade. "Haru, where'd you get all this?"

"The Internet," Haru said, giving him a look like it should've been obvious. "Half of it's on Wikipedia."

"Half of what?" Makoto asked from the kitchen, glancing back as he continued to wash dishes in the stainless steel sink. He was wearing a green plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up and khaki pants.

"Sugiyama's times in one hundred fly and free," Rin said, scrolling through the list with the arrow key. There were some pretty obscure competitions listed, predating Athens in 2004. "You had to dig for some of this."

Haru snorted. "I _can_ Internet, Rin. I look up stuff all the time."

Rin smiled, glancing at his friend. "Stuff, huh? I bet your browsing history's full of all kinds of racy water pics…" He dragged a fingertip along the touchpad, moving the cursor towards the browser icon—

Haru batted his hand away. "It is not." But the blush in his face made Rin really curious what kinds of things Haru was researching.

…Not that he could talk. Rin reined in his thoughts and focused on the numbers. The most recent times were from the World Championships last year in Kazan.

He exhaled. "Ikehara wasn't kidding." Sugiyama's times in the fly were consistently 50-point-something and, in a few cases, that _something_ was pretty low. "Damnit."

"Can I see?" Makoto asked, padding over in his socks.

Rin leaned back to give an unobstructed view.

Makoto bent down, squinting at the screen. "There's nothing more recent?"

Haru shook his head. "I looked."

"I don't remember seeing him swim at the trials," Makoto said, straightening.

"He didn't." Rin propped an elbow on the table, resting his chin against his hand. "Must be beneath him or something."

Makoto hummed thoughtfully and went back into the kitchen. "You guys want tea?"

"Decaf," they said in unison.

Rin and Haru eyed each other. _You're copying me._

Haru's eyes said, _No, you're copying_ me _._

Makoto chuckled; Rin heard cups clinking gently and multiple cupboard doors opening. "Um, Rin?"

"It's the white one," Haru said.

Makoto sighed. "They're _all_ white, Haru."

Rin snorted. "Cabinet above the stove."

"Oh, got it."

Haru leaned both elbows on the table top. "What were you hitting this morning, Rin?"

"I got it here." Rin reached behind him for his Team Japan gear bag propped against the wall. He grabbed his tablet from an outside pocket. Once he was logged in, he pulled up his data in graph form—the jagged line of progress since he started working with Assistant Coach Maekawa. Rin handed the tablet over with a frustrated sigh. "Not that this short course data's worth anything."

"We're back in the fifty meter pool tomorrow," Haru said, tapping over to the associated spreadsheet and flicking through the raw data with a fingertip.

"I know."

"I wonder if he didn't swim the trials because he didn't want to," Makoto said, filling the teacups from the hot water dispenser. "If there's a reason he doesn't want to compete in any of the individual events."

Rin glanced back at Haru's laptop. Sugiyama's Kazan times were slightly slower than London. There wasn't any appreciable trend, though. "I guess it's possible."

He felt Haru's gaze and looked over into blue eyes glittering with mischief—Haru who had a fingertip poised over the browser icon on his tablet.

Rin snatched the device away. _Don't you fucking dare._ His face heated.

Haru smiled, looking smug with revenge.

Makoto set steaming teacups in front of them. "It's hot so be careful," he said, smiling pleasantly. He sat on Haru's left, leaving the empty tray on the table.

"Thanks," Rin muttered. He locked the tablet with a tap and looked away.

Haru closed his laptop.

"You think you'll finally get to swim some medley during this camp?" Makoto asked.

"We'd better," Rin said. He flopped down onto his back on the rug, bending his knees beneath the blanket. "It's two whole weeks."

"Are you guys packed?"

"No," they said.

Rin chuckled, meeting Haru's gaze and a reflection of his own amusement. "But almost," he said.

-x-

It was after 9PM by the time their teacups were empty.

Makoto stretched his arms over his head and yawned. "Well, I've got early classes tomorrow, so I'd better head out."

He got up and Haru followed suit, tucking his laptop into a blue and white messenger bag.

Rin gathered the empty teacups onto the tray and carried everything into the kitchen.

"Rin, thanks again for dinner," Makoto said, opening the door to the entryway.

"Sure. Thanks for coming over." He dumped teabags into the appropriate trash bin, listening to the sounds of Makoto donning his jacket and shoes.

"Makoto, I'll just be a sec," Haru said quietly.

"I'll wait outside."

Rin stared at the backsplash of seafoam-colored tiles, running water in the sink with his hand beneath the faucet, waiting for it to warm. He was holding his breath when Haru came up behind him, winding arms around his waist and giving him a quick squeeze.

"Rin, thanks for dinner," Haru said, his chin resting on Rin's right shoulder. "See you tomorrow. Seven?"

Rin swallowed, his heart pounding in his throat. He turned off the water, flicking the droplets from his fingers. "Yeah," he said, keeping his voice casual as he twisted in Haru's arms. "I'll see you then." He hugged Haru in return. Because everything 'when we were kids' was fair game—that was the unspoken agreement they'd settled into. Even if it wasn't nearly _enough_. "'Night, Haru."

Rin tried to stay focused when Haru drew back, _trying_ to control his thoughts and his gaze. But Haru's eyes momentarily dropped to his lips and Rin felt an answering rush of longing. It had been a week and a half since that silly kiss that meant nothing. But he couldn't forget about it. His ambitions didn't stop him from _wanting_.

Haru pulled away abruptly, shoving his hands into the kangaroo pocket of his dolphin sweatshirt. His face was clouded, cheekbones dusted with pink. "Goodnight." He turned the corner for the entryway—

"—Haru." The name tumbled from Rin's lips as he moved forward. _Would you—_ but the words stuck in his throat, caught somewhere between nerves and his own self-discipline.

Haru paused, glancing back, and those cool, azure eyes were reading his face.

Rin looked away. "…Never mind."

He felt Haru's gaze on him for another moment, before his friend disappeared around the corner. There was a soft scuff of sandals against the entryway tile, then the sound of the door opening and closing… Rin listened to Haru and Makoto's footsteps retreating down the hall.

 _Fuck_. He slumped against the edge of the sink and pushed damp fingers through his hair, yanking the elastic band free. It wasn't the first time he wanted to say _fuck it all_ and ask Haru to stay. But then what? Because staying wouldn't mean just a kiss or some cuddling. Not when he knew that Haru felt something too. They wouldn't be fuck-buddies like Sousuke and Kawamura. _We'd be a lot more than that._ –A lot more than Rin was prepared to deal with right now when there was still a whole fucking _second_ standing between him and his medley relay dream.

Rin turned back to the sink, finishing up with the teacups and setting them on the rack above the sink to dry. It would be fine once they were able to swim together tomorrow. Swimming, training, being exhausted and stuck with their teammates 24/7… Rin dried his hands. _I need to finish packing._

An hour later, he set his bags near the entryway door, ready except for the couple of items he'd grab in the morning. He washed up for bed, killing the lights and closing the drapes over the two windows in the corner above his bed.

Rin pushed back the gray comforter, the fabric patterned with flowing lines in different shades of red and purple, and slipped between the sheets in his tank top and sleep pants. He laid back with one arm above his head, listening to the muffled street noise and quiet.

It was _too_ quiet. He'd liked it at first, and a few days from now when he was sick of dorm-style living, he was sure he'd be craving this silence and solitude again. But right now, after Haru had so recently been here, the stillness was an absence that he felt. And his mind, in the silence, was fond of filling that void with blue eyes and warm looks, brushing hands and welcoming lips—

 _Damnit_. Rin rolled over and pushed his face into his pillow, muffling an agitated groan. _50.59_. If he could just make 50.59, he was _sure_ everything else would fall into place. Then, maybe, he could let up a little… _Haru._ Rin sighed against the bedclothes, clutching his pillow and chasing sleep—

* * *

Monday, April 25th, 2016

* * *

"…The ten of you will be working on the 4-by-100 free today," Coach Fujino said, standing in front of the whiteboard at the Sports Sciences pool. "Seven total on four minutes: Three building, three descending, last one is all-out and timed." He smiled. "Four penalties is the limit." Fujino tapped the board with his marker. "First teams are here, plus the set for the alternates in the meantime. Questions?"

Rin glanced at the board. On the men's team, he was anchor, Haru was third. Two 'relay only' swimmers were being considered—one guy from Osaka and a guy from Sapporo. They had the first and second spots, respectively. Sugiyama was listed as the alternate. The guy's one hundred free times weren't bad, from what Rin remembered from Haru's spreadsheet. But Rin was the one with the national record and Haru wasn't far behind.

After warm ups, Rin took his place in line behind Haru for lane two.

Haru glanced back at him, eyes skimming over him behind tinted goggles. "I think I'm finally getting used to this."

Rin narrowed his gaze as his face heated. "Shut up, Haru."

Haru smirked as he twisted around.

After Haru dove in, Rin stepped up onto the block. Subtext aside, though, Haru was right. Rin could read his friend's effortless strokes through the water, acceleration ramping up smoothly towards the wall…and there was something about watching Haru swim to him that made Rin grin and thrill inside. He started his jump—

Haru's hands touched the wall, Rin's feet left the block—

The exchange was perfect and a shared glance said they both knew it. Rin built his speed over the first fifty meters, flipped, and pushed off the wall… It hadn't taken long at all to get comfortable with Haru going first. Surfacing from his dolphin kicks, Rin upped his stroke rate bit by bit, sprinting by the time he thrust his hands into the wall—

Rin popped up, catching his breath and clinging to the edge of the pool.

"Rin." Haru leaned down, smiling with his eyes, offering a hand. "I beat you that time."

He snorted, grasping Haru's hand and climbing out of the pool. "You did not." They weren't officially timing yet—the display boards were on but blank except for the clock.

"Pretty sure I did," Haru said, tugging him to the back of the line.

"Oh, it's on, Haru." Rin grinned, giving his friend's hand a squeeze before he let go.

Rin anchored the 4x100 free all morning with Haru in the third position. For the first shakeup, Sugiyama swapped in for the Osaka guy. For the second shakeup, Sugiyama took the Sapporo guy's position.

In the afternoon session, Haru anchored and Rin swam third while the other three guys traded positions. All day, Rin and Haru were consistently making splits in the low 48's in the all-outs, with a few dips into the high 47's. It felt pretty good. Coach Fujino never said it, but Rin could read between the lines—he and Haru were _in_ for the 4x100 meter free relay. Only the other two slots were being decided.

Once the afternoon practice was complete, they had clinic in the main training facility.

"Lastly," Coach Fujino said from the front of the room. "We have to select a team captain. I'll be taking nominations throughout our camp. Feel free to self-nominate or throw one of your teammates under the bus. Either way."

A chuckle rumbled through the room.

"We'll vote during our third training camp. Any questions?" Fujino paused. "…Alright. Remember, no clinic tomorrow. From here on out, it'll be mostly dryland instead—"

There was a chorus of groans.

"—with the occasional clinic session. We're meeting at the track at 8AM tomorrow. If you forget and come here…you get to do extra laps." Fujino smiled. "Alright, that's it, everyone."

"…Dryland," Haru muttered as they got up.

Rin snorted. "One breath in the fifty, Haru."

"Nn."

"Rin-senpai! Rin-senpai!" Momo bounded over in his team warmups, grinning and starry-eyed. "Will you be team captain?"

Rin perched a hand on his hip and rolled his eyes. "You idiot. It'll be one of the veterans."

"Awww." Momo pouted.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba slung an arm around his brother's shoulders. "We're going to the gym!"

"But Nii-chan, dryland's not 'til tomorrow!"

"Haha, you get to start today! Aren't you lucky?" Mikoshiba lifted Momo off his feet like the kid weighed nothing, carrying him towards the door.

Momo flailed the entire way. "Nii-channnn."

Rin chuckled, grabbing his gear bag and slinging it over his shoulder. "Na, Haru—"

"Matsuoka."

He turned. "Coach Maekawa?"

She was smiling, her hands tucked into the pockets of her Team Japan warmup jacket, her brown hair loose around her shoulders. "Can you be at the pool in thirty?"

-x-

"I was able to sweet-talk one of the techs into staying late to run the timing system," Maekawa said as Rin and Haru followed her down the stairs. She glanced back as they came to the stairwell door. "We should have half an hour."

"Thanks," Rin said. "I hope it wasn't too much trouble."

"Nah." Maekawa flicked a hand.

They headed down the hall and through a set of double doors into the lab room adjacent to the pool. "Hirano-kun."

The tech was seated in front of a console, wearing jeans and a black polo shirt with the Sports Sciences logo. He looked up as they entered. "Ah, Maekawa. Everything's set up. Lanes four and five are active. You want a third?"

Maekawa shook her head. "Two should be fine."

The tech nodded towards the window. "I ask because…"

Rin followed their gazes. A swimmer was just climbing out of the pool in lane four, water sluicing off his body and black jammers. Sugiyama. Rin drew a slow breath.

"Two's fine," Maekawa said, heading for the interior door.

Rin nodded at the tech, feeling stiff, and followed, Haru trailing behind him.

They entered the warm, chlorine-filled room, dropping their bags at the bins behind the blocks.

Sugiyama lifted his goggles onto his forehead, his cool eyes flicking over them. "Extra practice, Koto-nee-chan?"

"Just doing some timing, Noboru," Maekawa said, her tone dispassionate.

"Ah." Sugiyama's gaze landed on Rin. "Let me guess…fly?"

Rin met the man's eyes. "That's right."

Sugiyama sized him up with a dismissive, skimming gaze. "I'll give you a hand."

"Noboru…" Maekawa frowned.

Sugiyama ignored her. "Go ahead and warm up, Matsuoka. I'll wait."

"I appreciate it," Rin said, proceeding to strip down to his leg skins. He grabbed his swim cap and goggles and headed for the block on lane five.

Haru joined him, climbing onto the block next to him on lane six. Rin felt Haru's quiet, studying gaze, but he didn't look over. He was fine. He could do this. _I can hold my own._

Rin snapped the strap of his goggles and dove in, gliding into the cool water and settling into his normal stroke rate. Haru paced him in the adjacent lane.

…After three hundred, Rin climbed out, feeling limber and ready. Haru looked like he planned to stay in the water, one hand holding onto the side of the pool.

Maekawa's lips were pursed as she waited. She held the whistle.

"Need a minute?" Sugiyama asked, one foot on the block on lane four.

"Nah, I'm good," Rin said, giving his shoulders one last stretch as he faced the yellow-bordered lane. _I got this._

The digital board on the wall displayed the active lanes—four and five.

Maekawa blew the whistle—four short bursts, followed by the long pulse.

Rin drew a breath and climbed onto the block, setting his feet and bending into position…

"Take your marks."

He tensed, the block rough under his hands and feet—

At Maekawa's shrill whistle, Rin sprung forward— He split the water with his fingertips, submerging and surging forward with a streamlined dolphin kick. Just shy of fifteen meters, he surfaced, attacking the water with smooth butterfly strokes that whiplashed through his body from his hands to his feet. Rin was ahead at the halfway point, at thirty, thirty-five, and forty meters…but Sugiyama was gaining on him in the next lane. They hit the wall for the open turn at the same time—

When Rin broke out of the turn, he was a sliver behind. Panic clawed at him but he fought back, turning up his stroke rate as they flew towards the finish. At first he was even with Sugiyama's neck, then the guy's shoulders, then… No matter how hard he pushed, he kept slipping— He was a stroke behind when he slammed his hands against the wall—a whole fucking stroke.

Rin clung to the side of the pool with one hand, yanking off his cap and goggles with the other. He didn't even want to see the time.

Haru was still bobbing in the lane next to him; Rin felt his friend's gaze but didn't look over. He knew he wouldn't find sympathy on Haru's face, or compassion or anything. Haru was just there…and Rin wished he wasn't. _I don't like you seeing me like this._ Rin slowly caught his breath, his lungs on fire, muscles screaming—

Sugiyama swam to the side of the pool and climbed out.

A moment later, Rin ducked under water and followed.

Sugiyama grabbed a towel behind the block on lane four, drying off. He pulled off his swim cap, scrubbing the water from his close-cropped black hair, then flung the towel over his shoulder. "Well. Let's do that again sometime."

Rin's jaw tightened. He didn't say anything.

Maekawa shot a glare at the guy. "Don't be an ass, Noboru."

Sugiyama shrugged, heading for the locker room entrance. "You always liked babying the newbies, Kotone. If they can't handle it here, how are they going to make it out there?"

"You seem to forget you were one of them, once."

But Sugiyama dismissed her with a wave, disappearing into the locker room.

Rin finally glanced at the board—

1 – LN 4 – 50.84

2 – LN 5 – 51.13

 _Fuck_. He crushed his goggles in his hand. All that work for less than half a second?

"Don't let him get to you, Matsuoka," Maekawa said. "He's bitter. About a lot of things."

Rin steadied himself with a breath, pulling together what was left of his shattered pride. "Ah."

"Wanna do a few more? We still have time."

"Thanks…but I got what I needed, Coach Maekawa." He headed for his gear bag. "I appreciate the help, but you can send the tech home."

"Matsuoka…" Her face clouded.

Rin gave his hair and body a quick once-over with a towel. He heard water splashing as Haru climbed out of the pool. He knew Haru was looking at him; he could feel his friend's gaze tracing the tense muscles in his back, along his spine. But Haru didn't say anything to him and that was good—Rin would probably only bark out some retort he'd regret later, otherwise.

"Maekawa-sensei, can I do a couple?" Haru asked. "One hundred and two hundred?"

Maekawa exhaled. "…Yeah, Nanase-kun. Sure."

Rin gritted his teeth at the sound of Maekawa's whistle, not turning around. He yanked on his warmups, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door…

-x-

The roof of the main training building was the first quiet place he found. Rin propped the door open and wandered out among HVAC units and other bulky pieces of equipment. To the west, the sun was setting, painting the buildings and clouds with streaks of red and gold. Rin shoved his hands into his pockets, bracing against a chilly brush of wind. _Damnit._ He kicked the concrete with the toe of one shoe. Like _hell_ he was swimming alternate for the fly leg of the relay. Being the stand-in for that guy? Fuck no, he'd rather not swim the medley relay at all than be an asterisk on the roster. _*Preliminary round only._

Was this all he was capable of? 51.13 and second best? His hands coiled in his pockets. No, it couldn't be. _I'm slacking off, is all. Thinking this would be easy._ Rin flicked his eyes skyward. _I'm gonna get this, Dad. I'm gonna figure this out._ No more distractions, no more screwing off… The Mikoshiba brothers had gone straight from clinic to the gym. _That's where I should be. Not fucking moping around like this_.

Rin gave himself a shake, ignoring the clenched muscles in his back as he went back inside.

…It was late when he finally got back to the room he was sharing with Haru and Ikehara on the fifth floor. The lights were already off so he used the glow of his phone to make sure he didn't crash into anything. Haru was asleep on the bed nearest the door, curled up under the blankets. His warmups were laid out on the foot of the bed; Haru's sketchbook and a set of pencils were on the nightstand.

As Rin moved towards his bed in the middle, the light from his phone caught on a picture frame on Ikehara's nightstand—it was a new, more recent photograph of the guy with his wife and daughter. Ikehara was wearing his Team Japan warmups and they all looked so happy.

Rin turned away. He thrust the covers back and climbed into bed, setting his alarm for early.

* * *

Saturday, April 30th, 2016

* * *

Rin woke up at five, silencing his alarm on the first buzz. Yawning, he pushed the covers back and got up, slipping into his sandals and grabbing his gear bag. He'd already packed a change of clothes, his toiletries, his swimsuit, and his warmups into the bag, so he was ready to go.

"…Rin?"

He was almost to the door when Haru sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. The blankets pooled around Haru's waist; his blue T-shirt had waves and a surfboard on the front.

"Yeah?" Rin kept his voice soft, glancing to the bed nearest the windows where Ikehara stirred slightly and rolled over, putting his back to them. The sun was up, its light warming the gauzy white curtains over the glass.

"You're going to gym again? Or running?" Haru clutched the covers in one hand, blinking sleepily.

"Gym," he said and paused. "Wanna come?" Honestly, he didn't want company. He planned to blast music over his headphones and get his reps done.

Haru was silent for a moment, his face unreadable. He shook his head. "See you at breakfast." He laid back down, curling up under the covers.

Rin twisted the doorknob and left the room quietly.

Even this early, he wasn't the only one in the weightlifting room in the main training facility. Like other mornings this week, there'd been a handful of others in and out—including Mikoshiba and a very sleepy Momo—but Sugiyama was always there before him. It didn't matter if it was the gym or the track or the pool, the guy seemed to do nothing but train. _Guess that's what it takes._ Today Sugiyama was doing sit-ups on an incline bench, making it look easy. Rin headed for the free weights, envying the guy's singular focus.

At breakfast, Rin ate, letting the others carry on the conversation around him. Momo was chatty as usual, especially when there were girls present—a few of Takara's friends had taken to eating with them. Haru was quiet on Rin's left, though every once in a while his phone would buzz and he'd stop eating long enough to pick it up and tap out a reply. Of course Haru was texting Makoto. They'd been at training camp for almost a week and it was probably the longest time Haru and Makoto had been apart, including the time Rin had taken Haru to Australia.

Rin wasn't going to let it get to him. He'd traded a text or two with Sousuke over the past week and that was enough. Like he had time to waste on stupid shit like being jealous.

When he was done eating, Rin got up, grabbed his bag and his tray and headed off with a nod to the others.

Footsteps caught up with him in the hall. "Matsuoka-kun."

Rin stopped and turned, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Ikehara-senpai?"

Ikehara studied him with a quick flick of eyes, the overhead lighting catching on the coppery highlights in the guy's black hair. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah." Rin shrugged. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

Ikehara frowned slightly. "Did the two you get in a fight or something?"

"Huh?" Rin rocked back on his heels. "No. What are you talking about?"

Ikehara glanced away. "Just seemed like this morning was the most I've heard you guys say to each other all week."

Rin loosed one hand, rubbing the back of his neck. "Er, sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up."

Ikehara looked at him, one brow lifted.

Rin's face heated under the scrutiny. "It's really nothing. We're just busy, you know? Both of us."

Ikehara studied him for a moment more…then sighed. "Alright. If you say so." He moved off with a wave. "See you at the pool."

"Yeah."

The others left the dining hall then—the Mikoshiba brothers, Takara and the other girls. Haru trailed them by a few steps, still looking at his phone.

 _Nothing's weird between us, right?_ Rin frowned. _Just because we haven't said much, or…_

Haru glanced up and their gazes met briefly… Haru's face was smooth and expressionless, his eyes equally impassive.

… _I haven't hugged you in days,_ Rin realized. Helping each other out of the pool during relay drills was the most they'd touched… _Whatever_. Rin averted his gaze. He couldn't let himself get distracted by that stuff. He rolled stiff shoulders and moved away, his back a little sore. _I need to stretch more_.

-x-

At practice that morning, Coach Fujino uttered the words Rin had been longing to hear for days: "Today we begin training for the medley relays."

An excited murmur swept through the Olympians in the warm, chlorinated room. Rin's heart was thudding in his chest, a giddy feeling rising inside him. _Finally._

"I don't have to tell you that we—Japan—have been chasing the medals in this event for decades," Fujino said. "The Americans and the Australians consistently own the pool in this race and we're only starting to make a name for ourselves on the podium." He clasped his hands behind his back. "I know that this race is important to many of you, as well. If you're under the qualifying time, you'll get your chance to try out. Individual times are important, but they're obviously not everything. Relay members must be able to handle the pressure, support each other, and inspire each other. _And_ swim the fastest together. That's the medley relay team we will select to represent Japan in Rio." Fujino paused, his gaze sweeping their faces. His expression warmed. "We'll be running medley relay drills every other day for the rest of this camp. You'll all be sick of it by the end."

 _Not likely,_ Rin thought.

"There will be three men's teams and three women's teams, to start," Fujino said. "Drills will be timed, but it's closed book. You'll only get to see your own splits. For each round, you'll be swimming ten descending relays on five minutes with the last one all-out. _Three_ penalties is the new limit."

There was a collective groan.

Fujino smiled and Rin was sure the guy enjoyed torturing them. "And after you've all completed your penalty sets, we'll switch up the teams for the next round. …Questions?" He waited for a beat. "Alright, warm up and then I'll announce the first round teams."

"Relay, relay, relay!" Momo bounced over to the blocks and jumped in the pool.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba was on the block of the same lane, yelling at his brother. "Warm up with _free_ , not back!"

Momo's voice was garbled by water. "But I'm _free_ …like…Nanase-senpai!"

"Seijuurou, you're wasting your breath," Takara said, fitting her goggles on over her swim cap.

"Ha! One of these days he is going to listen!"

 _It's good you think so_. Rin shook his head, heading for the warm up lane he shared with Haru and a few of the other faster freestylers.

Haru climbed onto the block and set his goggles. The muscles in his back rippled as he bent into position and dove—a lithe, perfect arc that still made Rin's breath catch in his throat. Rin's tongue braced against the edge of his teeth as he exhaled and stretched, trying not to think about the night they'd spent tangled up in Haru's bed, the childish kiss they'd shared by the window, or any one of countless damp, post-race embraces… _Fuck._ Rin shook himself and dove in.

Assistant Coach Maekawa had the whiteboard updated when they were done with warm ups. "These are the first round teams and lane assignments. Akagi has the sets for the alternates and those of you who won't be trying out for the relay."

Rin found his name on the board…and went cold. Anchor, on the men's team in lane three. Sugiyama had the fly leg in lane one, along with Momo on back. Kawamura had the fly leg in lane two, with Mikoshiba on back, Ikehara on breaststroke, and Haru as anchor. The guy on fly in Rin's lane…his event was the individual medley—he wasn't swimming any of the individual butterfly events. _And I'm not even being considered?_ He _knew_ his times in the one hundred fly were better than everyone else's on the team with the exception of Sugiyama.

Rin felt it coming on—that hot ache that threatened to split him apart, that made him want to walk away and give up and _fuck it all and all of you—_ It was a thick lump in his throat, liquid and surging up…

"Hey." Haru's hand gripped his left arm.

Rin inhaled through his teeth, angry and not wanting any fucking sympathy—

But Haru's eyes were cold, not offering any. _Don't do that, Rin_ , Haru's face seemed to say. _You promised._ Haru's fingers dug into his bicep.

Rin's breath rushed out and he pulled his arm free, irritated. But Haru was right that he was being immature. At least the interruption let him gather himself. "Yeah," he muttered, moving away towards his lane.

As Rin got in line behind his teammates for round one, he felt eyes on him. He looked over, just in time to see Coach Fujino murmur something to one of his staff members, who was making notes into a small, black notebook. …Not to mention the sponsors and JOC staff members who could be watching through the viewing windows upstairs.

 _Fuck!_ What the hell was he doing? As if throwing a tantrum was going to get him anything but discounted for this relay and maybe the other two. _Get it together, Matsuoka! You're better than this._ He stretched again, trying to loosen the stiff, sore muscles in his back.

Maekawa had the whistle, sending the first set of swimmers jumping into the pool and climbing onto the holds for the backstroke start. "Take your marks."

At the start signal, six swimmers arced back into the pool, submerging, kicking, and surfacing into backstroke. Momo surged out ahead in lane one.

Rin snorted. "I don't think he knows what 'descending' means. He's gonna be dead on his feet after ten at that pace."

Haru, in the lane next to him, nodded as they moved up in line.

The swimmers came back staggered—Momo first in lane one, the guy in Rin's lane second, and Mikoshiba third. The swimmers for the breaststroke leg took over, Ikehara swimming at a moderate pace in Haru's lane. Of the three, though, Rin could tell just from form alone—Ikehara had the cleanest, most efficient stroke. When they got to all-out, Rin was sure the guy would be leaving everyone else behind.

When the butterfly swimmers started their leg, Rin couldn't stop himself from critiquing the performance of the guy in his lane. Yeah, it was decent butterfly and the guy was holding back as he ought to in the first of ten drills but… Rin exhaled his frustration as he climbed onto the block, Haru at his side. It was almost worse watching Kawamura in Haru's lane. The guy was screwing Rin's best friend just for funsies, he had shoulder issues like Sousuke—who _should_ have been here instead—and he was getting to swim with Haru. Rin didn't even bother looking at Sugiyama in lane one—that would only get him riled up more.

Instead, he focused down the lane at the swimmer approaching him. Because he wasn't going to fuck this up, in any case. Any strikes against their team weren't going to be his doing. The swimmer in lane one dove first for the free leg, followed shortly thereafter by Haru in lane two.

Rin had a few more seconds to wait. He dove in, the exchange clean, and caught up with Haru, holding the same measured pace. This part—being in the pool together—should've felt good like it usually did, like all those races in high school, like any time the two of them raced against each other…but there was only a sense of dread settling in Rin's gut. _Because only one of us can swim anchor in the medley._

They hit the wall at the same time, waited for the others to finish, and then swam towards the side. Rin followed Haru back to their adjacent lanes, catching his breath. _Nine more to go._

…In round two that afternoon, Rin swam with Momo and Kawamura in lane two while Haru anchored lane three for Mikoshiba and Sugiyama.

* * *

Sunday, May 1st, 2016

* * *

"—When we say, 'Day Off,' we mean it," Maekawa said, her eyes skimming the gathered Olympians in the Athlete's Village lobby. She was wearing street clothes instead of her team warmups, like the rest of them. "Consider the training facilities closed. Get out, relax, take a break…" She trailed off, pursing her lips. "Some of you really need to do laundry. Turning clothes inside-out, front and back is _not_ a thing." She cleared her throat, giving a pointed glance to a couple of the younger guys. "Just be back before curfew or bad things will happen. Everyone got that?"

There was a chorus of affirmative murmurs.

"Good." Maekawa smiled and left.

Rin sighed, his hands shoved into the pockets of his gray hoodie. He didn't need a fucking break.

"Rin-senpai! Rin-senpai!" Momo came bounding over and collided with him, the kid wearing a _loud_ orange and yellow shirt, canary-yellow hooded sweatshirt, and jeans. "We're going to Tokyo Disneyland!"

" _Oi_ , Momo." Rin grimaced, staying upright.

Momo wiggled happily, beaming into Rin's face. "You're gonna come, right? Right?"

"Ehh…" Rin pulled away, rubbing the back of his neck.

"There's still time if you want to join us, Matsuoka-kun," Mikoshiba said, coming over with Takara and a group of girls who immediately had Momo's attention. "We can get you a ticket."

"…I think I'll pass. Thanks." Rin dropped his hand.

Momo didn't even notice.

Mikoshiba shrugged. "You and Nanase."

Rin glanced over—Haru was a few steps away in his dolphin sweatshirt and black pants, looking at his phone.

"Well, see you guys later," Mikoshiba said with a wave, going over and extracting his brother from the group of girls by hooking an arm around Momo's neck. "Momotarou, let's go!"

"Nii-chan…"

They left and the lobby crowd thinned out.

Rin drew a breath and wandered over… "Haru."

Haru glanced up and pocketed his phone.

"What are you doing today?"

Haru shrugged. "Laundry."

"…Me too."

They went back up to their room and grabbed their stuff, then headed for the laundry room in the basement.

…They didn't make it past the doorway. All of the machines were taken and the room was full of a dozen scantily dressed Olympians who were apparently laundering _all_ of their clothes…and flirting.

Rin and Haru backed out into the hall. Why was it that things like polka-dotted boxer shorts and little frilly nighties could be seen but not _unseen_? By the look on Haru's face, he was equally disturbed.

They ended up back in the stairwell, climbing up to the first floor.

"Guess we could do it at my place," Haru said.

"Or mine. My place is closer to the station."

Haru shrugged. "OK."

-x-

It was a gorgeous, clear day—sunny and too warm for sweatshirts. Rin left his hoodie unzipped as they exited the station near Koutei University. They walked a few blocks southeast until they got to Rin's building—a gray façade with six stories and broad balconies full of clothing drying in the sun. Heading inside, they took the stairs up to the third floor. Rin's apartment was in the north corner of the building. He unlocked the door and slipped off his shoes, flicking on the overhead lights.

On the _kotatsu_ in the center of the apartment, there was a stack of mail that Sousuke had been gathering for him.

"Machine's just to the right," Rin said as he dumped his bag on the floor and headed to the closet to get a clean T-shirt. He pulled off his tank top and sweatshirt, grabbing a light gray V-neck shirt instead and slipping it on.

He turned to find Haru just inside his entryway, stripping down to a pair of black and purple jammers and then emptying his bag of laundry into the washing machine, plus the clothes he'd been wearing. Rin's breath came out in a puff of air.

"It's full," Haru said, starting the machine.

Rin looked away. It wasn't like he hadn't seen Haru in only a swimsuit a zillion fricking times… But usually they weren't alone. Lately when he'd invited Haru over, he'd invited Makoto also… "You want a shirt or something?"

"No."

"You won't get cold?"

"If I do, I'll just climb in your bed or something."

Rin choked on his own saliva and looked over, startled. He watched, holding his breath, as Haru crossed the room and sat down _on the side of his bed_ , bouncing a little as if checking the firmness of the mattress. "H-Haru…"

Frosty blue eyes met his and Rin knew Haru was saying and doing everything on purpose, but it wasn't out of lust. Haru gave him a defiant look for a long moment, then sighed, relenting. "Sorry, but you've been kind of a dick lately, Rin."

"Huh?" Though in the back of his mind, he was pretty sure he deserved it.

Haru's face clouded. He lowered his gaze and his voice. "This whole week, it's like you haven't even been there."

Rin inhaled slowly. _Haru…_ He cleared his throat. "Look, I—"

"Rin, what leg did your dad swim in the medley?"

The question caught him completely off guard. Rin fell silent, blinking.

Haru was looking at him again, his expression shuttered but he wasn't glaring any more. "Makoto says it wasn't fly."

Rin dropped his eyes to the floor, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. He tucked his other hand into the pocket of his black pants. "He swam fly sometimes, but it was mostly anchor."

"…Isn't your dad why it's your dream to swim in the medley?"

Rin lowered his hand, his breath rushing out through his teeth as his face heated. "It was always more about the team than which leg. The team is what my dad always talked about." _That feeling. I know you understand that, Haru._

"And you want to win, right? With the best team."

"Well, obviously, Haru." Rin sighed.

"If you can do that as anchor, why isn't it good enough?"

" _Damnit_ , Haru!" The words erupted from his throat. "First Sousuke and then you. Why does everyone keep pushing me like that? You _know_ why I don't fucking want anchor!" He glared at his friend.

Haru was studying him calmly in return. "I'm trying to understand."

Rin thrust a hand roughly through his hair. "Because I _want_ to swim with you—you know that's why."

Haru's gaze cooled perceptively. "And that three and a half minutes of swimming medley relay together in Rio—that's more important to you than everything else? The fifty and one hundred free, the two hundred free when you get it, and two freestyle relays… Not to mention the swimming together we could be doing _right now_ , but you're not even enjoying it anymore."

Rin's eyes widened.

Haru's face clouded again. "Swimming in the Olympics is your dream—our dream, right? You were so happy when we made the team, when we first got our uniforms and swam together…" Haru paused, his eyes large and liquid. "What happened, Rin? What happened to _my Rin_ who was smiling and excited…? I haven't seen him in a week."

… _My Rin…_ He slumped against the closet doors, air leeching from his lips. Rin swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Rin… Your back's bothering you, isn't it?"

Rin's eyes flared wide. How did he know?

Haru's lips were drawn thin. "You yelled at me for pushing too hard. Don't you remember?"

"Haru…" Rin clutched the front of his T-shirt, feeling a cold rush of fear. _Is that why…?_

Haru got up, crossing the room towards him slowly.

Rin's eyes darted left and right. He felt exposed all of a sudden, like a caged animal with nowhere to run and hide.

"Rin…it's just me," Haru said quietly, touching his arm with gentle fingers, light pressure. "Let me see."

He was staring into steady blue, soft and calm. Rin let Haru draw him down to sit on the floor and raised his arms obediently as Haru skimmed the T-shirt off his back.

Haru settled down behind him, his hands parting the hair at the nape of Rin's neck and whispering over his skin.

Rin flinched as a shiver went through him from Haru's touch. "Since when are you a fucking doctor?"

"I don't need to be to tell that you're all tense and stressed out." Haru's hands brushed down his sides. "Nothing's red or feels funny. That's good."

"Oh _good_ ," Rin muttered, laying on the sarcasm thick. But it did feel really nice…Haru touching him. _Really_ nice. Rin's hands coiled in his lap. He bit his lower lip, choking back a whimper as Haru's careful fingers returned to his shoulders.

"You need to relax."

"Yeah, well, easy for you to—oh, Haru, _fuck_." Rin let out a groan as Haru's thumbs dug into tight muscles alongside his spine.

"Not so loud, Rin," Haru said, continuing to apply pressure _just right_. It hurt, but in a good way.

"Don't be so good at it, then," Rin muttered, managing to keep his next sound a little quieter.

There was an amused snort behind him, warm breath hitting his hair and the back of his neck. "Thank your sister. She taught us a few things, back in high school."

"…What?" Rin's brows climbed his forehead.

"Just what I said. It wasn't anything weird." Haru moved on to kneading his shoulders one at a time.

Rin found it hard to concentrate when his brain was slowly shutting off. "Nnnn. Just don't tell me she made you practice on her."

"No, she just supervised."

Oh, like that was much better. Rin pressed his lips. "…Makoto?"

"Yeah, though he was never very good at doing it. It embarrassed him too much."

Rin closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from picturing it. _I hate it—the thought of you and him… Him getting touched by you like this._ Not that he had any place being jealous… _When I basically rejected you._

They were quiet for a few moments, except for Rin's occasional muffled groan and the low rumble of the washing machine. Haru's hands worked down the center of his back.

"Na…Haru."

"Hmm?"

Rin swallowed. "You and Makoto…were you ever more than friends?"

Haru's hands slowed but didn't stop. "…Like what?"

"Like…" He hesitated. "…lovers."

"No."

The immediacy of Haru's response was relieving… _but._ "…Other stuff?"

"Now you're getting personal."

Rin blushed. "Yeah, I guess it's none of my business, huh?"

"If we're just friends, it isn't," Haru said, his hands sculpting the flesh and muscle on Rin's right side.

 _If._ The word stayed trapped in Rin's mind.

"And if we're not 'just friends,' then I get to be pissed about you abandoning me all week."

"Haru." Rin covered one of Haru's hands with his own, twisting a little to look back over his shoulder. "Gomen."

Haru paused, returning his gaze with guarded eyes. At length, Haru exhaled. "Nn." Arms wrapped around Rin's midsection, squeezing gently. Haru ducked his head, his forehead resting against the back of Rin's neck.

Rin's breath rushed from his lungs. It felt so good, Haru holding him. "God, I missed this."

"Hm?" Haru drew back a little, but Rin caught his arms, keeping him there.

"I've been thinking about it, how I haven't hugged you in a week." _Or kissed you in two and a half…_

Haru inhaled. "You were?"

"Yeah." Rin's face warmed.

He felt Haru's breath against the back of his neck, Haru's cheek pillowed by his hair. "Why didn't you say so? Or just hug me or something?"

"…Because I was too busy being an asshole."

There was a soft hum of amusement.

Rin closed his eyes, leaning back into Haru's embrace. "You're right. I'm trying too hard, wanting this too much."

"I'm not saying don't try, Rin. But you should enjoy yourself. It's your dream after all." Haru scooted closer, his knees on either side of Rin's hips, the heat of his skin against Rin's back.

The breath caught in Rin's throat, his eyes flying open. _I forgot you weren't wearing a shirt._ His heartbeat went from normal to thudding in an instant. _It's not like we haven't hugged a thousand times shirtless. Hell, that one night we were only in our swimsuits the whole time…_

Haru seemed to sense Rin's reaction and withdrew halfway. "This isn't OK?"

It was a lot better than OK…unless he was trying not to want Haru, not to touch Haru, not to be distracted…

Haru pulled away completely, sliding back. Cool air swirled against Rin's back, his skin immediately feeling bereft of Haru's touch.

Rin swallowed hard. "Haru…"

"You don't have to explain, Rin. If it's not OK, just say so."

Rin inhaled, twisting around. "But if I don't explain, you won't understand—"

Haru was sitting back against the closet, his legs bent and arms resting on his knees. "If we started something and you ended up regretting it—I couldn't handle that. That's why."

 _Haru…_ Rin's fingers curled in his lap. _That's why you're not pushing me._ "It doesn't bother you then? Waiting."

Haru's eyes widened, a blush warming his cheeks. "Are you saying 'someday?' …You want us to be together."

Rin flushed hard as he realized what he'd said, burning heat climbing all the way up the back of his neck. His brain was trying to hedge his bets— _like you even really know what that means—'being together'—it's vague as hell._ But, if he was honest with himself… "Yeah." The word came out in a hoarse croak.

Haru's lips parted in shock, then his face softened and his eyes with it—until he was smiling and the blues of his eyes were swimming with happy emotion. " _Rin._ "

_Haru, it makes you that happy? Me saying that…_

Haru sniffed and looked away, his eyes shadowed by shards of black hair. "It doesn't bother me." His voice was quiet. "I'd never ask you to give up your dream."

Something inside Rin broke, hearing those words. He forgot how to think, how to speak… There was just…Haru.

Rin rolled onto his knees, swallowing, reaching… His fingers slid against Haru's jawline and into silky strands of hair— Their lips met and Rin made no attempt to justify it. His arms encircled Haru's shoulders, tightening until it seemed necessary to draw back, though it still felt too soon when they parted.

Rin loosened his arms slightly, looking at reddened cheeks—he was certain his own were the same shade—and eyes that were the color of dark sea water.

"You can have five kisses, Rin," Haru said. "You've used two."

"Five?" Rin lifted his brows. "What happens when we get to six?"

"I don't know. …But it won't be like we were kids anymore. Just so you know."

Rin tasted Haru on his lips. He was so tempted… "Don't you mean per day, Haru?"

Haru's gaze darkened with obvious desire. "I'm pretty sure I don't, Rin."

Rin pressed his lips, considering… Despite their entire conversation, part of him—hell, a lot of him—really wanted to—

—They were interrupted by a tinny melody played by the washing machine.

Rin and Haru looked at each other… Rin laughed and Haru sighed with warm eyes.

He gave Haru a quick squeeze before he drew away. "We have the worst luck with appliances, Haru."

Haru glanced at him knowingly and got up. "I noticed you don't have a tea kettle."

"Nn." Rin blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. He reached for his discarded T-shirt and slipped it on as Haru emptied the washing machine.

"You got a basket or something?"

"Yeah, here." Rin grabbed it from the closet and brought it over.

While Haru hung his clothes on the balcony to dry, Rin loaded his things into the machine and started it up.

"Rin, can I wear your shark T-shirt?"

Which one? He had so many… Rin glanced over at the black shirt with the red and white shark outline Haru was holding. "My favorite. Go for it."

Haru slipped into the shirt.

Rin smiled his approval. "Very aggressive, Haru."

"I can be aggressive," Haru said, giving Rin a smoldering look.

"Not arguing." Rin grinned and headed into the kitchen. "You thirsty?"

"Yeah."

Rin poured two glasses of iced green tea—decaf—and settled at the _kotatsu_. While they waited for the washing machine, Rin sorted the mail and Haru watched YouTube cooking videos on his tablet.

"I could make this," Haru said.

Rin leaned over, their shoulders brushing, glancing at the colorful sushi on the screen. The cuts of sashimi were artfully arranged to look like real fish. "It's a lot of work, Haru. What would you make?"

" _Saba_ that looks like _saba_."

" _Tch_." Rin rolled his eyes and went back to the mail.

-x-

Twenty minutes later, the machine was done and Rin's laundry was hung with Haru's on the balcony outside. It was midday and the sun was heating the city; the blue sky was cloudless.

"Rin, wanna go somewhere?"

Rin turned from the balcony. Haru was standing in the doorway, in the shark T-shirt and black and purple jammers. _You look really good in my shirt._ "Like a pool?"

But Haru shook his head. "We have to take the day off. Somewhere else."

"OK. As long as it's not Tokyo Disneyland."

"No. Too noisy," Haru said. He touched his pair of black warmup pants and frowned.

"If those are still damp, I have a pair you can borrow." Rin moved back inside and dug around in his closet until he came up with a pair of dark gray warmup pants with BONDI BEACH in white lettering down the right leg.

Haru's eyes lit up. "Thanks," he said, accepting the bundle.

Christmas was eight months away… _After Rio, we'll have to buy plane tickets_ , Rin thought, watching Haru shimmy into the pants and knot the tie at the waist.

Haru grabbed his phone and wallet from his gear bag. "Ready, Rin?"

"Yeah." He grinned.

-x-

After a quick lunch at one of their usual places near Koutei University, they took the subway down to the Shimbashi area and transferred to the elevated train that would take them out over Tokyo Bay. Because _of course_ water had to be involved. They boarded the train with other passengers, Rin planning to let Haru take the window, but Haru nudged him towards a seat on the left hand side.

"Sit there, Rin."

Rin shrugged, dropping into the window seat, facing south. Haru sat beside him. They rode for several minutes amidst the high rise buildings in Minato before the track took them along the bay.

"Rin, there." Haru pointed. "Can you see it?"

"See what?" Rin followed Haru's gaze, peering out across the water.

"Where they're building the venues for 2020."

Rin inhaled, his eyes widening as he took in the construction cranes filling the horizon and the skeletons of buildings taking shape. The skyline would look completely different in four years. He knew from news articles that half of the venues and most of the new construction would be down this way, but he'd never looked out and noticed…

Haru leaned across him, their arms brushing in their short-sleeved shirts. "There's not much to see yet, but the Olympic Village will be there, on Harumi Wharf."

Rin took it all in as the train continued to speed along the bay, listening as Haru pointed out each thing. There was a lump forming in his throat—excitement and emotion. Little by little, his gaze slipped from the window to Haru beside him.

Haru noticed and lifted a brow.

"Haru…I didn't think you'd be so into this," Rin said. "I mean, I'm glad, I just…" _It's rare to see you excited about something that's not water._

Haru shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be? To me, Tokyo 2020 always meant you'd come home. You know, if I didn't make Rio."

Rin's breath caught, a wave of emotion surging through him. _Haru…_

Haru sat back against his seat, completely oblivious of the effect of his words. "It's hard to go all the way to Iwatobi just because I missed you, so I'd come here a lot."

 _Damnit, Haru_. Rin swallowed hard, mindful of the other passengers around them as heat rushed into his face. If they were alone, he would've tackled Haru with a hug like he wanted to. But he couldn't do that now. Rin tore his gaze away, hoping no one would notice how choked up he was. He needed to touch Haru, though, even just a little, and grabbed Haru's hand in a firm grip, down against the seat cushions between them.

Haru laced their fingers together and leaned over again, pointing with his free hand. "And there's the…"

-x-

They wandered around Odaiba Beach for the majority of the afternoon, in front of a long line of malls and hotels. The strip of sand on the artificial island was crowded, given that it was such a warm, sunny day. There were kids playing, families picnicking on the beach, and groups of school-aged kids daring each other to venture into the chilly water. The soft breeze sifted through Rin's hair and rustled their clothing. He could finally feel himself relaxing with Haru there. They didn't talk a whole lot, but they didn't need to. Just quietly being together was so…soothing.

When they started to get thirsty, they headed up to the nearest mall and looked around. Plank-wood floors emulated a seaside boardwalk winding through various shops selling everything from tacky souvenirs to upscale clothing.

One colorful display caught Rin's eye—a tiny postage-stamp sized store with what he took for balloons in the window… But on second glance, Rin flushed hard. It was a gag store with a cartoon prophylactic on the sign and they were selling condoms in every manner, size, and shape and…design that he _didn't_ need to know existed.

Rin averted his eyes, only to see that Haru had stopped next to him, openly perusing the offerings in the window.

"We are _not_ going in there."

"There's so many kinds," Haru said.

"Don't fucking browse!" Rin hooked an arm around Haru's shoulders, drawing him away.

Haru made a soft sound of amusement.

In the end, they found a juice bar and sipped smoothies as they walked outside along the upper decks, finding a spot to lean against the rail with a view out over the Rainbow Bridge and Tokyo Bay. The sun was starting to creep low in the sky and the crowds began to thin out—the families and groups of kids replaced by couples obviously on dates.

Rin choked on a bit of juice and coughed. _Oh fuck, are we on a date?_

Haru glanced at him, popping the straw from his mouth. "You OK?"

Rin swallowed properly and cleared his throat. "Yeah."

But Haru eyed him, apparently not buying it, and the breeze sent a ripple through the shark T-shirt he was wearing.

Rin sighed and looked away, swirling the remaining juice in his plastic cup. "I was trying to decide if this counts as a date."

"Hm. Dunno," Haru said. "What do you consider a date?"

"Ehh…" The railing was cold beneath his forearms. "Going somewhere, just the two of us. Like, somewhere special or meaningful… Or somewhere stupid, just to be together." His face heated despite the breeze. _Really sounds like a date…_

Blue eyes flicked in Rin's direction. "Then it's a date, but not our first, Rin."

"Huh?" Rin glanced over.

"Sydney was our first date," Haru said.

"Haru, that doesn't count."

"Why not?" Haru looked confused. "You took me to all kinds of places that were important to you. You wanted me to meet your homestay parents. We slept together—"

"—we just shared a bed!"

"It was a date," Haru said, looking pleased with his conclusion.

Rin sighed and attacked the rest of his drink in a vain attempt to counter the heat in his face. If Haru was right, though… Haru had resumed looking out at the water, the wind toying with sections of black hair. Rin watched him furtively. _From the outside looking in…that's probably what it looks like, huh? Like we're…together._ For some reason, the idea wasn't as embarrassing or uncomfortable as he thought it would be.

Haru finished off the last of his juice and lowered the empty cup. "Rin, I'm hungry."

Rin snorted, pushing off the rail. "You're so fucking romantic, Haru."

-x-

The sun had set by the time they got back to Rin's place to check on their laundry. A few of the items, like their sweatshirts, were still damp.

"Nnn." Rin frowned. "I guess we can hang stuff on the balcony when we get back to our room."

Haru ducked inside. "Rin, can I sit in the bath?"

Rin looked back to find Haru already stripping out of his borrowed clothes and disappearing into the bathroom in his jammers. As he stepped inside, Rin closed the balcony door behind him, glancing at the clock. _I guess there's still time._

Haru flicked on the lights, pausing in the doorway. "You coming?"

…The water was warm—not tepid but not hot either, that was the compromise. They sat back-to-back in the tub, wearing their swimsuits, the water not quite reaching their shoulders. Rin had enough room to bend his knees comfortably. It was a western-style bathroom with the tub, sink, and toilet in the same room. The fixtures were all white with a glossy, faux-marble finish.

"This tub's bigger than mine," Haru said. "Is that why you picked this place?"

"No…" But the thought _had_ occurred to him when he first toured the apartment—that two people could fit in here.

"Hm." Haru leaned against him.

Rin exhaled, the remaining tension leaching from his limbs. He relaxed against Haru, resting his head on Haru's shoulder, stifling a sudden yawn.

-x-

The next thing he knew, Haru was tugging on his arm. "Rin—"

He shifted in the water, rubbing his eyes. "What? Is it time to go?"

"No," Haru said. "But if you're falling asleep, we should use the bed."

"Oh." That sounded like a good idea. He let Haru pull him upright and help him climb out of the tub. The bathroom wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm like the bath. Rin woke up a little more, toweling off and following Haru out into the main room. He yawned again. "What time is it?"

"Seven-thirty," Haru said, turning down the covers of the bed. The overhead lights were off, but there was enough of a glow from beyond the windows to see by.

"Only seven-thirty?" Rin pushed a hand through damp hair. "Why the fuck am I so tired?"

Haru cocked a brow, pausing to look at him. His skin and frame were bluish in the dark. "Really? You've been working out late every night and early every morning and you don't know why you're tired?"

"…Oh." _You have a point._

"We have to be back at ten. You got an alarm?"

"Yeah." Rin fiddled with the clock by the bed. "So nine's good, right?"

"Should be fine."

He finished setting the alarm. Tossing the towel to the floor, Rin slid between the sheets and scooted towards the wall to make room.

…After a beat, Haru crawled in beside him, drawing the covers up over them both.

Rin stretched out against Haru's warmth, feeling Haru's breath in his hair, Haru's lips grazing his brow as he fell back asleep.

"That better not count as one of the five, Haru."

"No." Haru settled an arm around him. "That one's free."

-x-

…Rin could've sworn he'd only _just_ closed his eyes when the phone rang.

It wasn't his phone either. Probably Makoto, _damnit_. Rin groaned his protest when Haru shifted away from him, grabbing the buzzing device off the nightstand. He blinked blearily, watching Haru glance at the caller.

Haru sat up abruptly, lifting the phone to his ear. "Ikehara-senpai."

Rin snapped awake. _Shit_. He glanced at the clock, noting it was _after_ nine…

"We're on our way," Haru said. "Thanks for the reminder."

Rin scrambled past Haru to get out of bed.

"You _said_ you set an alarm." Haru got to his feet, pulling on the nearest clothes—Rin's shark T-shirt and Bondi Beach warmup pants.

"I _did_." Rin slapped the clock. _Why the fuck didn't it…_ "For AM. Damnit." He grabbed his clothes.

Haru rolled his eyes and headed for the balcony to collect their laundry—

They were breathless, running all the way from the station to the Athlete's Village, but they made it on time. The staff member at the front desk looked pointedly at the clock as they signed back in.

 _Three minutes to spare_. Rin grinned as they scampered off to board the elevator, carrying their bags of mostly dried clothes. He slapped the button for the fifth floor and they slumped against the back wall, side-by-side. Rin lifted a fist. Haru, just as breathless, eyes warm, bumped fists with him.

* * *

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016

* * *

When his alarm trilled at 6:45am, Rin just rolled over.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" Haru asked from the next bed, yawning.

"Nah."

"Rin, it's annoying."

" _You're_ annoying, Haru."

A crumpled up T-shirt landed on Rin's head. _Oh, now you've done it._ He sat up and chucked his pillow at Haru's face.

Ikehara, who was sitting up against the headboard of his bed in his pajamas with a laptop on his lap and glasses perched on his nose, cleared his throat loudly. "Like I said yesterday…"

Rin and Haru paused in the act of grabbing other items to throw.

"It's nice that the two of you've made up, but if _anything_ comes flying in my direction…" The guy gave them a stern look. "I _will_ lock both of you out on the balcony in your underwear."

Rin lowered his projectile, which was the shark T-shirt Haru had thrown at him.

Haru hugged Rin's pillow to his chest, looking miffed for getting chastised.

Rin's alarm rang again and he finally reached over to the silence the damn thing.

"Rin, can I have your shirt back?"

"If I can have my pillow back…"

They traded, Haru slipping into the T-shirt—he'd taken to sleeping in it, which was just fine with Rin—and Rin shoving his pillow back into place. Rin climbed out of bed and stretched, his joints popping and tank top shifting across his abs. "Dryland today, Haru."

"Nn…" Haru dragged himself out of bed in Rin's T-shirt and boxers only, covering a yawn. He shimmied into his Team Japan warmup pants and grabbed his stuff for the bathroom. "Pool first."

Rin grinned and gathered his things, following…

-x-

"This morning will be round three of medley relay drills," Coach Fujino said, poolside. "Same drills, same penalties, new teams. Here's the shake up."

Rin steeled himself as he glanced at the board, his heart plummeting when he saw his name again at anchor… But he fought the anxiety back to a manageable level, looking at Haru instead. _50, 100, 4-by-100, 4-by-200, the 200 (soon)…and right now._ He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Haru returned his gaze with warm blue eyes.

Rin's heart settled. _And I'm gonna hug you when this is over._

Haru smiled with his eyes and they headed towards the pool together for warmups.

-x-

Anchoring with Sugiyama on fly ranked pretty high on Rin's list of the most difficult and humbling experiences of his life. By the all-out, though, he had it together, focused simply on the guy's rapid butterfly strokes, timing, and his own performance. Ikehara swam the breaststroke leg and it was obvious to Rin these two had done this a thousand times…and were good at it. Rin's team in lane two was half a length ahead of Haru's team in lane one and the other men's team in lane three.

Rin spared one split-second glance at Haru on the block next to him… Haru was calm, serene, and focused on the water, like always.

Rin smiled. _Try to catch up, Haru._ He dove when Sugiyama reached the wall—the exchange clean—and sliced into cool water. His dolphin kicks were solid. He surfaced and shot forward at race speed—

He was flipping into the turn when he felt Haru closing the gap between them. They passed, going opposite directions, and Rin kicked up his rate for the back half, knowing that Haru was chasing him down, the _thrill_ of it surging through him—

Rin hit the wall and popped up, breathless, just seconds before Haru slapped the wall in the next lane over.

Breathing hard, Rin tugged his goggles down to his throat and draped himself over the lane line between them. "Nice split, Haru." Given the gap in their starts, Rin was pretty sure Haru had the faster time. He held up his hand.

Haru propped his goggles on his forehead, catching his breath, and swam over. "You too, Rin."

Rin caught the hand Haru slapped against his, pulling his friend in for a quick squeeze over the lane line. And it felt _good_ —getting through the drills with his shit in line and knowing he swam well.

After cooldown, they rinsed off in the showers and headed for their lockers in the last row, still wearing their swimsuits.

Haru finished toweling off and shrugged into a blue T-shirt with leaping dolphins on the front. "How's your back?"

"It's good." Rin rolled his shoulders for emphasis, grinning. "Nice and loose." He went back to scrubbing his hair with a towel as Haru pulled on his Team Japan warmups.

"I'll be outside, OK?"

"Yeah." Rin settled the towel around his neck. "…Na, Haru."

Haru paused, slipping the strap of his gear bag over his shoulder.

Rin glanced over, warmly. "Thanks for kicking my ass the other day."

"Sure. Anytime." Haru closed his locker and crossed behind Rin—

"—Nn!" Rin started at a firm swat to his backside.

But Haru just tossed him a smirk and disappeared around the corner.

 _Tch_. Rin grabbed his clothes and got dressed. _You've been spicy ever since I let you borrow my shark T-shirt._ He couldn't help smiling. It wasn't a bad thing…

-x-

That afternoon, they gathered in front of the whiteboard at the pool. "For round four, you can see we're changing up a couple positions," Coach Fujino said. "Additionally, this will be the last round with three teams each. We'll be down-selecting to two women's teams and two men's teams from here on out." Fujino paused, his gaze sweeping the Olympians. "Alright, warm ups—"

Rin braced himself, his swim cap on and goggles in hand, moving forward with the others for a better view of the board—

"Rin-senpai! Nanase-senpai!" Momo came leaping from the board, beaming like the sun and crashing into Rin.

" _Oi!_ " Rin locked an arm around the boy's shoulders. "It's not safe to run here, you idiot."

Momo just looked up at him, grinning. "Hehee."

"Looks like it's the four of us," Ikehara said, coming over in plum-colored jammers with silver and black streaks. He pulled his goggles on, leaving them perched on his forehead.

Rin blinked. "Huh?"

Momo slipped free from Rin's hold, hopping in a circle around them. "Yay, relay!"

Ikehara smiled. "You're on fly, Matsuoka-kun. Nanase-kun is swimming anchor."

 _I'm on fly?_ Rin's breath caught in his throat; he went giddy with disbelief. _I'm swimming fly with you guys?_

"That's what the board says, Rin," Haru said, smoothing a wrinkle from his swim cap.

Rin tackled Haru with a hug from behind, grinning so hard his cheeks ached. "Haru!"

"Rin, we haven't even swam anything yet." Haru looked back at him.

"Can't help it." He held Haru's gaze. _I'm gonna savor every second of this._

Haru's eyes softened and for a moment, neither of them moved—

Ikehara cleared his throat lightly. "So, warm ups?"

Rin pulled away quickly, his face warm. "Yeah. 'Course."

After completing their warm up drills, they got in line behind lane two. Mikoshiba, Kawamura, and Sugiyama were in lane three—Sugiyama was anchoring for this round.

Momo dropped into the pool at the whistle, wiggling like an eager puppy.

" _Oi_ , Momo—"

"You'll get us tallied, Momotarou-kun," Ikehara said.

The kid grinned and settled just long enough for the start—

Momo was still early off the start holds and Rin sighed, watching Assistant Coach Akagi—at the side of the pool—make a mark in his notebook.

Ikehara stepped up to the block. Rin moved up, Haru behind him…and it felt so right, his heart so full—

"Don't accidentally swim free, Rin."

Rin flicked his eyes skyward. "Shut up, Haru."

Haru lowered his voice to a saucy whisper only Rin could hear. "I missed this view."

"Nn—" Rin grunted, pulling his goggles down over his eyes as Ikehara dove in. "You get to be sassy with me five times, Haru…"

Haru made an amused noise as Rin climbed onto the block.

He snapped the strap of his goggles, studying Ikehara's stroke. For a second, he missed both Nagisa and Nitori, both of them with their own distinctive traits in breaststroke. But Ikehara was an Olympic veteran and it showed in precise, practiced movements.

Rin's exchange was clean enough, but by the end of ten drills, he knew he'd be flawless. Rin dolphin kicked hard in the water and came up swimming fly… It felt so fucking good. But nothing was quite like the thrill that surged through him after he made the turn and saw Haru waiting for him on the block. He almost forgot to pace himself, the drive to swim to Haru humming through his veins and muscles. _I get to do this nine more times._ He deliberately held back…

Haru read him perfectly, starting to jump as Rin churned up the last few meters. Haru's feet left the block just after Rin touched the wall, his body a shadow arcing overhead… Rin stared, breathless, his heart running fast in his chest—as much from swimming as from…other things. _I missed this view, too, Haru._

And if it brought to mind a memory of Haru pinning him against the bed…

Rin exhaled and ducked underwater as he swam to the side of the pool to get out.

After nine races, it was time for the all-out. Rin felt content and happy…and he didn't want this to be over. More rounds were coming and it wasn't likely they'd get shuffled onto the same team again.

Their rest period over, Rin's team headed for the blocks…

Rin cleared his throat. "Momo…Ikehara-senpai…Haru." He looked at each of them in turn and smiled. "Let's do this like the real thing, OK?"

Momo grinned ear-to-ear. "Heck yeah, we're gonna win!"

Ikehara shrugged and smiled. "Sounds good to me."

Haru was looking at the water and smiling— _for real_ smiling. "If you swim with me…"

"…I'll show you a sight you've never seen before." They said it in unison and Rin grinned.

As they raced, he could feel it—like they were really there in Rio, with the stands full of cheering crowds, swimming against the Americans, Australians, British, and so many other nations—

Momo's start was perfect and he churned up the water like he'd only been screwing around at the beach for the last hour, not training hard.

Ikehara's leg was flawless—the fastest breaststroke Rin had ever seen.

Rin had the exchange timing down, leaving no seconds on the block when he dove in and _mastered_ fifty meters of water. On the back half, he swam to Haru like no one else in the whole entire world even existed.

And, after their exchange, Haru brought it home with a speed that made Rin's toes curl—

"Nanase-senpai!" Momo was yelling, cheering, dancing from one foot to the other.

Rin couldn't help joining in once he caught his breath. "Haru!"

All the other teams started cheering on their anchors and the room echoed with loud shouts of encouragement.

Haru hit the wall well ahead of all the other teams and Rin never once looked at the clock. For the first time in his life, he was so happy he didn't care.

"Haru—" Rin rushed the block, extending a hand and pulling Haru from the pool, only to engulf his friend in a tight, damp hug. And even though it was only practice, it felt like gold.

Haru was catching his breath, his chest heaving within the circle of Rin's arms. He didn't say anything, but wet arms snaked around Rin's waist and squeezed.

"Rin-senpai! Nanase-senpai!" Momo jumped on Rin's back and their center of gravity tipped forward—

" _Shit—_ "

They tumbled into the pool, all three of them, coming apart in a messy tangle of limbs. Rin dropped his goggles, Haru's went flying, and Momo came up laughing.

" _Oi_ , Momo!" But Rin couldn't help grinning.

Haru snorted, holding onto the lane line and pulling the swim cap from his head.

"Momotarou!" Mikoshiba was glaring down from the block on lane three with his arms folded.

Momo bobbed in the water, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling sheepishly. "Hehee…"

A throat cleared with authority… "Momotarou-kun, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun…" Coach Fujino gave them a stern look from the side of the pool. "Your penalty is dryland—two extra miles on the track."

Momo slumped against the lane line, making a whining sound.

"Nn." Haru frowned.

Rin managed to look appropriately chastised.

But the moment Coach Fujino turned away, he grinned again. _So worth it._

* * *

Sunday, May 8th, 2016

* * *

Coach Fujino was talking at the front of the conference room. Rin was trying to pay attention to the clinic—he really was—but his eyes kept flicking to the side. Haru was wearing his Team Japan warmup jacket unzipped with Rin's shark T-shirt underneath…and for some reason that made it really hard to concentrate. Rin kept thinking about their date and five kisses… Now that training camp was over and they had four whole days off… It would be nice to ask Haru over for dinner—just Haru this time. Rin caught his lower lip between his teeth. _I'll cook and we can see what happens with kiss number three—_

Haru had one elbow propped on the table, his jaw resting against his palm—looking bored like usual…except for a furtive scrape of blue eyes that made Rin wonder if his face was shouting everything he was thinking.

His neck feeling hot, Rin turned his attention back to the front—

"Our next training camp will run right into the Japan Open—three days at Tatsumi, starting on May 20th," Coach Fujino was saying. "For those of you who just missed out on the JASF official times—this is your first chance to have another go at it. What we're passing out now—" Fujino waved a hand at Maekawa and Akagi, who approached the seated Olympians with stacks of white envelopes. "—are your itineraries for June and July. The JOC, JASF, my staff, and I have carefully selected these itineraries for you. It's all about preparing you for Rio, with special attention given to those of you who will be competing internationally for the first time." Fujino paused. "Obviously, not everyone can go to every event and there are only so many events involving prize money. But the experience you'll gain is invaluable. Please make the most of these opportunities to enhance your training."

Rin perked up. _This is it, Haru! Real competitive swimming—our dream._ He shot a grin at his friend, which was matched by eager eyes—Haru was fully engaged now.

"That's all for today, Olympians," Fujino said. "Get some rest—we'll see you back here on Friday."

Assistant Coach Akagi passed out the envelopes for their row. Soon everyone was rustling paper and talking in excited voices—

Rin only spared a glance at his name on the outside of the envelope and quickly slipped the package open, pulling out a thick stack of papers—forms, brochures… On top was a cover sheet with all the competitions and dates and each event he'd be competing in.

His excitement was mounting by the second as he read, "Canet-en-Roussillon!" In France. " _Rome!_ " Plus multiple weeks of high altitude training. "Granada, Spain—" All places he'd never been to and couldn't wait to see. "Haru, we'll get to—"

But the words died in his throat when he saw how still and quiet Haru was. Everyone else in the room was comparing itineraries and already making plans… Haru didn't seem touched by any of it. Rin watched as his friend swallowed, a flutter going through the paper he held from hands that were trembling. Haru quickly set the piece of paper down, shoving his hands beneath the table.

Rin sobered. "Haru…"

Haru glanced over, just for a second, and Rin caught a glimpse of troubled eyes, panic barely held at bay…

He grabbed Haru's itinerary. Bergen, Norway…Barcelona, Spain…Vichy, France…Altitude training in Flagstaff, USA.  Two months… _We won't see each other until S_ _ã_ _o Paulo in late July…_

Rin was disappointed, but… _It's not like the year I just spent in Australia. We can deal._ "Haru, it's only—"

But there was a flash of hurt in Haru's eyes and Rin knew he'd said the wrong thing. Haru snatched the paper back and got up, gathering his things in the same motion. Then he was walking swiftly for the door, dodging their teammates who were starting to filter out of the room—

"Haru—" Rin got to his feet, in such a hurry to grab his stuff that he dropped a few brochures; they fell under the table. _Damnit._ Rin crouched down, retrieving them.

"Oh, Matsuoka-kun?" Assistant Coach Maekawa was there when he straightened.

"Coach Maekawa…" He lost sight of Haru.

She smiled. "My tech friend told me they're calibrating the cameras in the Sports Sciences pool tomorrow. They're looking for a test subject. I thought it might be a good opportunity to get some extra film on long-course…if you're able to come back?"

"Yeah." He nodded quickly. "Sure. That would be great."

She lifted her brows. "Great. Nine o'clock? Feel free to bring Nanase-kun if he's available."

"Yeah—nine works. Thanks."

"OK, I'll see you then." She moved off.

Rin exhaled, stuffing his paperwork back into the envelope and grabbing his gear bag.

"Ah, Matsuoka-kun. I was hoping you had just a minute—"

His heart sank. Rin forced a polite smile and turned, facing the business-suited sponsor representative. "Of course."

-x-

When he finally got out of the conference room, Rin went running up three flights of stairs, across the sky bridge, and up two more flights… But when he got to their room on the fifth floor of the Athlete's Village, Haru wasn't there and all of his things were gone.

 _Maybe I can catch up…_ He dropped his stuff, intending to come back later, and nearly ran into Ikehara who was just coming in the door.

"Oh, there you are," Ikehara said. "They're looking for us to check out."

 _Does it have to be right fucking now?_ But through the open door, he could already see the cleaning crews at work on the room across the hall.

_Damnit._

…The sun was nearly set by the time Rin exited the station near Koutei University. Carrying his gear bag and his duffle, he headed straight for Haru's place.

From the street, Rin could tell Haru's lights weren't on. He went upstairs anyways and knocked—pounded—on the door.

No answer.

 _Pool_. If Haru was upset, he'd want to…

Rin headed for the Koutei campus at a brisk walk. At the sports complex, he used his keycard to gain access.

But Haru wasn't at the pool—no one was.

It was dark when Rin tried Haru's place again. He knocked, he pounded. "Haru, are you in there?" He tried the door knob—locked.

There still wasn't any reply. A door opened a few apartments down, an older woman leaning out and frowning.

Rin hastily dipped his head. " _Sumimasen."_

She went back inside.

Rin pulled out his phone and dialed… But the call immediately went to voicemail—Haru's phone was off.

"Haru…" Rin's arm dropped limply to his side. He clutched his glowing phone, staring at the closed door in front of him. _I'm sorry I said that._ That panicked look in Haru's eyes—he'd seen it once before—at the park in Sydney, when he'd gone off to buy drinks and left Haru alone without warning. _I thought you got over that…coming to Tokyo for school, being willing to travel all the way to Rio…_

But he was wrong. A snippet of conversation from weeks ago came back to him, their voices echoing in his head.

" _Have you studied at all since Australia? Because if you haven't, you're gonna be pretty damn lost."_

" _It's OK. You'll be there, so…"_

Rin eyes were burning as he lifted his phone, turning away from Haru's door. He thumbed through his contacts.

This time, the call connected on the second ring. " _…Rin?_ "

His breath came out roughly. Rin brushed a hand over his face to gather himself. "Makoto…"


	9. Clear blue downpour

Haru lay submerged in the bath with his eyes closed, all the sounds of the world muffled and indistinct—it was just him and the water. The soothing liquid surrounded him, cocooned him…held him. The feel of it was soft against his skin, gentle as it ran through his hair. The panic subsided, or at least, in the water he didn't care anymore. The water wasn't asking him to do things, trying to make him go places he didn't want to go…or telling him that, for weeks, he wouldn't get to swim with Rin. This tamed water was nothing but malleable and agreeable, leeching away all his cares, troubles, and desires until the only thing he wanted to do was sleep. If not for the silly business of _needing_ air, he'd never leave the water.

Haru surfaced when breathing became imperative; the room was dark because he hadn't bothered with any lights. Except for the sound of the water dripping off his skin, it was quiet. He could hear street noise in the distance and his neighbors moving around in their apartments, but nothing from outside. Rin probably left, then. Haru knew he'd stopped by. No one else would've pounded on his door like that…and Makoto had a key. He felt guilty about it, but he just…couldn't. Not right now.

He didn't know what time it was, but he was tired as he climbed out of the tub. The bed felt like it was a long ways away and he didn't want to leave the water. Instead, Haru made a nest of towels on the floor beside the _ofuro_ and curled up, closing his eyes…

* * *

Monday, May 9th, 2016

* * *

A soft knock had Haru stirring, the towels rough against his skin, his limbs aching from sleeping on the hard floor.

"Haru?" Makoto's voice drifted in, muffled by the door of his apartment.

Haru exhaled, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, Haru, I'm coming in…"

The door unlocked and opened, followed by the sound of Makoto slipping off his shoes in the entryway. "Haru? Are you alive?" Makoto was teasing, but Haru could hear the sliver of worry in his best friend's voice.

The lights in the main room flicked on, seeping bright through the curtains into the bathroom.

"Nn." Haru winced at the sudden invasion of light, sitting up slowly.

"There you are." Makoto's voice came from the doorway, followed by more lights. "Haru, did you sleep here all night?"

"No," he said.

Makoto sighed, coming further into the room. He was wearing a gray flannel shirt with a white T-shirt underneath and olive green khaki pants. "Come on." Makoto gently took hold of his left arm. "You'll get sick lying around in this cold room in only your swimsuit."

"Nn." But Haru got up and let himself be led into the other room.

His things were scattered everywhere—his shoes and luggage in the entryway, his gear bag dropped in the middle of the floor with papers spilling out from inside. His clothes—his warmups and the T-shirt he'd borrowed from Rin were tossed to the floor in a clear path from the front door to the bath.

Makoto went straight to his closet, dug around for a bit, and came out with a stack of fresh clothes. "Here. Get dressed, OK?"

Haru didn't bother arguing. He slipped into the yellow Iwatobi T-shirt Makoto had picked, stripped off his jammers and pulled on clean boxer briefs and gray sweatpants. Since he was cold, he donned the blue and white sweatshirt and socks that had also been in the pile.

Makoto, meanwhile, picked up his clothes and put everything in the laundry bin. Haru saw him take note of the black T-shirt, though he didn't say anything.

"Are you hungry?" Makoto asked, heading for Haru's kitchen.

"No."

Makoto washed up at the sink and then opened the fridge, sticking his head inside. "OK. _Saba_ and toast, yeah?"

Haru inhaled. "Makoto…"

"I know you're upset, but you can't not eat, Haru." Makoto backed away from the fridge with an armful of ingredients and closed the door.

Haru pressed his lips. "…He told you?"

"Yeah."

Haru watched his best friend move around his kitchen as if he would attempt to cook. Makoto could make some things and he wouldn't screw up the toast, of course, but he tended to burn or at least overcook things on the grill. Haru wasn't hungry at all, but…

"You have class, right?" Haru asked.

"Yeah. I do." Makoto set the grill pan on the stove and turned on the burner—he set it too hot, Haru noticed. Then he grabbed the wrong spatula and the wrong type of oil.

Joining Makoto in the kitchen, Haru grabbed his apron and slipped it on over his head. "You can go. I'll eat." He grabbed the knob for the burner and cranked it down to the right level.

Makoto smiled, leaving Haru to guess that some of those mistakes had been intentional. He oiled the pan with the right cooking oil as Makoto moved away.

Papers rustled as Makoto gathered them, setting the stack on the table. There was a pause. "Leave this on, Haru."

Haru heard his phone's power-on melody.

"You don't have to answer it, but if I text you, text me back so I know you're still alive, OK?"

"Nn." _You don't have to worry so much, Makoto. I'm not gonna do anything stupid._

"You have practice today?"

"Probably." He unwrapped the frozen _saba_ fillet Makoto had gotten out. "I'm not going."

"…You won't get in trouble?"

Haru shrugged.

Makoto exhaled, moving towards the entryway. "Alright. I'll check on you later, OK?"

He nodded.

After Makoto left, Haru finished cooking and ate what he could. He got about halfway through the _saba_ and stuck the rest in the fridge. He still just wanted to sleep.

It started raining. He could hear the raindrops tapping on the roof and against his window. Haru turned off the lights and headed for the bed, opening the curtains above to the gray world outside and the water streaking against the glass.

He pulled off his sweats, curling up under the covers in his Iwatobi T-shirt and underwear only. His phone was on the table where Makoto had left it, next to all of the paperwork Makoto had retrieved and straightened—his itinerary, the forms and other information… A sour, panicked feeling churned in his stomach. Haru turned his back on the room, drawing his knees up as he shut his eyes…

-x-

They were staring—all of the people who didn't look like him or talk like him. They were everywhere, surrounding him on the street corner where he stood in front of signs he couldn't read. Every direction he turned, there were featureless gray streets with gray buildings. It all looked the same to him. Cars clogged the road, rushing by when the lights changed, honking when he tried to cross but he was looking in the wrong direction—the cars were driving on the other side of the street. People came up to him, speaking in strange sounds that he didn't understand. A woman touched his arm and Haru flinched away. She looked stunned, saying something that had no meaning for him. Haru panicked. He backed up, wanting to run but there wasn't any place to run _to_. No safe place, no familiar faces. He was alone and lost and he didn't know where to go or what to do. He couldn't even ask for help—

Haru woke in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, tangled in the sheets of his bed. It took him a moment to get his bearings…and repeated deep breaths before the fear started to subside. It was still raining outside—water sheeting against the window above his bed. He was alone in his apartment; the clock said it was 5pm.

Haru sat up slowly, pushing damp hair from his face. His throat was parched.

He got out of bed, crossing the room by the light from the window, and filled a glass with tap water. He drank it all and set the glass down, rubbing his face with a hand that was still shaking.

_I can't do this. I can't go._

He thought about how happy Rin had been when they got their itineraries—excited, grinning and beaming just like the old Rin—the twelve-year-old Rin that Haru missed so much. …And how Rin's face crumpled when Haru tried but failed to hide the panic rising up inside him. He felt awful. _I'm sorry, Rin. I can't…_

There was a knock at the door.

"Haru? It's me." Makoto again. After a brief pause, "I'm coming in…"

Makoto entered, raindrops clinging to his coat. He carried a plastic bag; Haru caught a whiff of hot food— _saba_ and _miso._ Makoto's gaze swept the room before finding him in the kitchen. Then Haru's best friend smiled, lifting the bag. "I brought takeout."

They ate at the table in front of the TV—water and hot tea rounding out the meal of _miso_ -glazed _saba_ with stewed vegetables over rice. The food was from Haru's favorite place, though it tasted bland for some reason. Haru had donned his sweatpants again since it was a little cold; he sat with his legs stretched out beneath the table, watching the screen. There was a variety-talk show on, where the hosts were chatting with three women who wanted to lose weight, discussing their diets and what vegetables they should eat versus avoid. He was only paying attention because he was ignoring Makoto; his best friend was looking through his itinerary and all the associated paperwork.

"I saw Rin at the pool today," Makoto said. "With Maekawa-sensei."

The food started to stick in Haru's throat. He swallowed, drank some water, and frowned. "…Makoto."

"She said practice tomorrow is at nine—"

"Makoto, I _don't_ want to talk about it." His voice came out sharper than he intended.

Makoto was looking at him calmly, unfazed by his outburst. "It's not OK for you to just skip without a reason. You have sponsorship obligations, don't you? You signed contracts."

"This isn't training camp," Haru said, his voice normal again. "It's all optional anyway."

Makoto set his chopsticks down. "But people are expecting you to be there, Haru."

"Makoto, I can't." He looked away and drew his knees up, hugging them to his chest. "I can't do this."

"You know you won't be alone, Haru," Makoto said quietly. "There will always be staff with you, plus other members of your team."

Haru didn't say anything, his nightmare still too fresh in his mind.

"I'm sure there will be translators."

He tensed. "This isn't about that."

"…Are you sure?" Makoto asked.

Haru pressed his lips, resting his chin on top of his knees.

"Then is it really about two months without Rin?"

Haru just curled tighter.

Makoto exhaled. "Haru… I won't sit here and tell you how eight weeks is different than a year or eight years—"

_You just did._

"—But I can understand why you'd be upset. You've been so happy lately, since he got back and the two of you have been pursuing your dream together."

He felt numb. "Rin's dream," he murmured.

"Hm?"

Haru rocked a little, his arms locked around his knees. "If he wasn't here… If he didn't make the team, I wouldn't be doing this. It's his dream. I'm just…copying."

Makoto was quiet for a moment. "…So?"

Haru stopped rocking and glanced over.

Makoto shrugged. "Who says you have to have your own dream? Who says your dream can't involve someone you care about? I mean…obviously you can't control another person, but it's OK to have a dream together." He smiled faintly. "Things are getting serious, right? With Rin."

Haru looked down at his sock-clad feet. "Not really."

"But you've kissed now."

His head snapped up. How did Makoto know? Seeing the smile on Makoto's face though, Haru realized his best friend was only guessing and he'd just confirmed it by his reaction. Haru's cheeks heated.

"And it was different, right?" Makoto asked, his voice soft. "Not like the time you and I—"

Haru inhaled, the turn of the conversation making him uncomfortable. "Makoto…"

"It's OK, Haru. You love him, right?"

 _Love_ … The TV droned on the background. He shook his head.

Makoto paused like he wasn't buying it for a second. "Well, if you say so." He took a second to stretch, his gray flannel shirt shifting as he lifted his arms over his head. "…So? Are you giving up? Backing out on everything?"

Haru loosened his arms slightly. "…No. I'll still go to Rio." His gaze landed on the paperwork. "I just won't go to these other places."

"Haru… You can't just not…"

"They can't make me get on the plane."

Makoto sighed. "What if they say you can't back out on these? Without forfeiting Rio, too?"

They couldn't do that, could they? They wouldn't… Haru tried to think back to all the fine print in the documents he'd signed. That couldn't be in there… If he got sick or something, they couldn't blame him if he couldn't compete. …Right?

"…Would it help if I came with you?"

Haru's gaze flew to his best friend's face. "Makoto… It's two _months_."

"I know."

Haru chewed his lower lip briefly. "I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't," Makoto said. "I offered."

Could he do it if Makoto were there? Of course. He left Iwatobi and came to Tokyo to go to Koutei University because Makoto would be nearby. _But I can't ask you to give up two months of college just to… Just to hold my hand and make me feel better._ Especially not when Makoto was right about staff and other team members being there.

He exhaled long and slow. "No. …I'll figure something out."

Makoto smiled and Haru got the impression he'd been played a little—his best friend knew him too well.

"And you'll go to practice tomorrow?"

Haru tensed. "No."

"Haru…"

"I don't want to see him right now. I'll just…weigh him down. He needs to be free to—"

"Haru, it's too late for that."

Haru closed his mouth, silently questioning his best friend with a glance.

"Rin's pretty upset," Makoto said. "He was when he called me last night…he was when I saw him today. You shutting him out like this is only making him feel worse."

 _That's not fair_. "When he's upset, he—"

Makoto lifted his brows. "So you know how it feels, right? Think about it, Haru. Before you decide that you know what's best for him."

Haru fell silent. The thought of Rin being upset and worried about him made him feel horrible.

"…Are you done?" Makoto asked, picking up Haru's half-eaten portion.

"Yeah. …I'll eat it for breakfast, though."

Makoto nodded, clearing both of their bowls and packing up the leftovers for the fridge. Haru took care of the remaining dishes.

"I'll stop by in the morning, OK?" Makoto said, shrugging into his raincoat.

"Yeah."

Makoto smiled, giving a little wave as he left. "'Night, Haru."

"'Night."

Once the dishes were finished and set to dry, Haru turned off the TV. He still couldn't bring himself to even glance at his itinerary or the forms. Instead, he grabbed his sketchbook and pencils and sat on the bed.

-x-

A couple of hours later, his phone buzzed with a text. He would've ignored it, but he'd promised Makoto. Haru grabbed the phone off the table, settling back onto the bed.

His eyes met water. There were two pools in the picture on his phone, one 50m and one 25m, separated by a thin pool deck and a blue banner with images of swimmers diving into the water. The building had high ceilings with square skylights. One side of the room had long rows of steps for seating; the opposite wall was windows and a recessed upper floor with table-style seating for spectators and commentators. On the far side of the room, beyond the blocks for the 50m pool, there were water slides that appeared to end on a lower floor. Haru stared at the picture on his tiny phone screen until his eyes ached. Had Makoto found this for him?

Another text came in. _[Damnit, I meant to email this one like the others. It's AdO Arena in Bergen.]_

Haru's eyes flicked to the sender and he inhaled sharply. _Rin._ Rin had sent it… He quickly thumbed over to his email.

The screen was full of new messages, enough that Haru decided to switch his phone for his laptop. They weren't all from Rin—half of it was spam anyways, but he had ten messages from Rin and just scrolling through the timestamps in his inbox… The messages spanned from 8pm _last night_ to 6am this morning, a new one almost every hour. _Rin_. His eyes widened. _Didn't you sleep?_

Haru clicked on the first message—it was a picture of another pool, this one in Barcelona. The second message was a series of images of an aquarium in the same city. The third message was text and a link, _I found this translator app…_ The fourth message had a pdf attached. _Here's travel phrases in Spanish._ In the fifth message, _Eh, I found a better one for Spanish. Use this one—that last one's crap. Plus, I found this Spanish dictionary app…_

 _Rin_ … Haru's eyes welled up with liquid. Swallowing hard, he clicked over to the next message…

By the end of it, he had pictures of all four venues—plus photos of beaches and other bodies of water, travel phrases to print out in Norwegian, Spanish, French, and English…and he was melting inside, his vision blurring so bad he couldn't read the computer screen anymore.

 _Rin._ He set the laptop aside, slumping down onto the bed, on his side. The warm feeling in his chest, there wasn't any mistaking it, or any point debating whether or not Makoto was right. … _I love him_. Haru blinked, a few tears slipping free and splashing against his pillow. _I screwed up_ , he thought, happy and dismayed in equal measure. _Unless you changed your mind about not wanting to fall in love._

* * *

Tuesday, May 10th, 2016

* * *

Haru slept better that night, waking up early and finally having the motivation to unpack his gear bag and luggage. He pulled on his second favorite pair of black and purple jammers, a navy blue Koutei T-shirt, and his black and white warmups with the blue stripe across the chest. He did laundry, eating breakfast while the washing machine was going. It was another grayish day that looked like rain, so he hung his clothes inside to dry. He was just pinning up his Team Japan warmups and Rin's T-shirt when Makoto knocked and came in.

Haru turned, feeling a little sheepish and not knowing what to say. …But Makoto just studied him for a moment and smiled, sandy hair falling across his brow. Haru relaxed. Nothing needed to be said.

-x-

A few minutes before 9am, Haru walked into the locker room at the Sports Complex on the Koutei campus. There were a handful of other people there, though no one from the Koutei swim team. Rin wasn't there either. Haru stripped down to his jammers, stuffing his gear bag and warmups into a locker. After wetting down in the shower, he pulled on his swim cap and arranged his goggles on his forehead.

 _Enough hesitating_. Haru exhaled. It would be OK.

He pushed through double doors into the warm, well-lit pool area. The view out of the glass wall and ceiling was low-slung gray clouds and fog coiling around buildings. The familiar scent of chlorine allayed some of his nerves, but not all.

"—Did you get some sleep, Matsuoka-kun?" Maekawa asked. "Because if you're as tired as you were yesterday, I'm just gonna send you home." She and Assistant Coach Akagi were standing by the whiteboard, both in black T-shirts and their Team Japan warmup pants.

Rin was with them, his back to Haru, in his red and black leg skins. His arms were folded, his goggles dangling from one wrist, his swim cap on. "I slept enough." His voice was gravelly with fatigue and Haru could see the tension in his back.

Haru's heart was pounding as he let go of the door and walked in. He didn't usually get nervous, but Rin was going to kick his ass for this and rightfully so…

Maekawa saw him first, since she was facing the door. She lifted her brows. "'Morning, Nanase-kun."

Rin spun and Haru fought the urge to flinch. " _Haru._ " The look on Rin's face was white-hot murder and he charged forward like a shark about to take a chunk out of his prey, his rapid footsteps slapping against the tile. Haru planted his feet and braced himself, turning his face away—

Rin collided with him, knocking him back two steps though they stayed upright. Rin's arms caged his shoulders, pinning his arms to his sides, and squeezing him so tight he couldn't breathe.

What little air he had squeaked out. "Rin…"

But Rin didn't answer and all of a sudden his friend was shaking. Haru felt warm droplets against his throat. His eyes widened.

"Haru, don't _ever_ do that again." Rin's voice was unsteady and broken. "Don't you _ever_ fucking scare me like that again."

 _Rin_ … " _Gomen_ ," he said, around the lump forming in his throat. He drew his arms around Rin's waist. "I won't. I promise." He closed his eyes tightly and held Rin until the shaking stopped…

-x-

Haru bowed from the waist in front of his coaches. " _Sumimasen_. I'm sorry for the trouble I caused yesterday."

"It's good you're back," Akagi said. "Fly-boy here could barely find the pool without you."

" _Tch_." Rin folded his arms.

Maekawa was smiling as Haru straightened. "Feeling better, Nanase-kun? Ready to get to work?"

"Hai." Haru dipped his head.

"Alright." Maekawa perched a hand on her hip. "Standard warm ups and then we'll do some relay drills, 2-by-50. The set is ten building, ten descending, five sprinting, on the minute. First round is medley. The second round is free."

Haru's eyes widened.

Rin made a little grumbling sound.

The coaches just grinned.

-x-

Haru dragged himself from the pool after cooldown. _I'm never skipping a day again. It's just not worth it._ He grabbed a towel and dried off, thinking only of food and then passing out.

Rin raked off his swim cap and goggles, also breathing hard.

"Boys, take the afternoon off, OK?" Maekawa said, studying them with her arms folded across her black T-shirt. "We'll see you tomorrow morning, same time."

"'Boys'…" Haru muttered, settling his towel around his shoulders. _I'm almost twenty._

"She's like twice our age," Rin said, shrugging and snapping up a towel.

"Hey!" Maekawa's face reddened.

Akagi snickered. "Mae-chan really likes it if you point out her gray hairs."

Maekawa glared at him. "At least I _have_ hair—"

Haru and Rin exchanged a glance. They gathered their things and quietly backed away…

After rinsing off in the shower, Haru headed for the last row of lockers. He'd just opened the door and pulled out his warmup pants when Rin came over and hugged him from behind. Long arms wrapped around his waist and Rin buried his face in Haru's hair.

Haru stilled, his heart thudding in his chest. The warmup pants slipped through his fingers, landing on the floor.

"Haru, _gomen_. I wasn't thinking. I know you don't like traveling." Rin sighed into his damp hair.

 _Rin._ Haru hung his head, the guilt a tight knot in his stomach. "I'm sorry for making you worry."

Rin was quiet for a long moment. "…Nn." His breath came out in a warm puff against the back of Haru's neck. "Guess we can call it even. …Though I only lost you for a day. Makoto thought it would be longer. He said I should leave you alone, give you space." Rin lowered his voice as if muttering to himself. "That lasted about two hours."

Haru drew a breath and straightened. "I'm glad you didn't, Rin." He lifted one hand to curl around Rin's arm. "I wasn't going to come today. But last night I got your text and your emails… That's why."

Rin inhaled sharply, his arms tightening. "Haru…"

Haru closed his eyes, swallowing as he gathered himself. "I'm gonna try, Rin. If this is what I have to do to be able to swim with you in Rio… I'll get through this." _Somehow._

" _Tch_." Rin exhaled noisily. "You mean _we_ , dummy," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

Haru relaxed into Rin's embrace. "Are you crying?"

"I'm _not_ fucking crying."

He smiled to himself.

They stayed like that for a few seconds until an influx of voices and footsteps had them swiftly breaking apart. Haru's face was hot—as pink as Rin's—as he got dressed in his black warmups and grabbed his stuff, waiting for Rin to do the same.

Rin joined him a minute later, in black and red warmups, tugging the brim of his hat low on his forehead. "You picked a hell of a place to have a heart-to-heart conversation, Haru."

"Me?" Haru cocked a brow. "You started it."

Rin glanced at him, blinking. "Eh… Guess you're right." He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.

Outside, it was raining lightly. They hit up a ramen kiosk on the main street in front of campus to warm up and recharge. It was raining steadily when they emerged.

Rin frowned, zipping his warmup jacket up to his throat and hunching forward.

Haru shoved his hands into his pockets, enjoying the gentle cascade of water on his head. "Do you think, at that aquarium in Barcelona, they'd let me get in the tank?"

Rin snorted, falling in beside him as they walked along the street. "Pretty sure not, Haru. Just don't go until _after_ the competition. In case they revoke your visa or something."

"Hmm. Good idea."

Rin chuckled, slinging an arm around Haru's shoulders. "What do you wanna do? With the afternoon off?"

 _This is nice_. Haru studied his friend. Rin's fatigue was obvious in shadowed eyes and how pale he looked today. Haru pressed his lips, feeling a brush of remorse and wanting to make up for it. "…Wanna take a nap?"

Rin looked over in surprise. They walked a few steps in silence, until Rin stopped and Haru felt his friend's full weight lean into him. " _God_ , yes."

Haru lifted one hand, curling his fingers around Rin's wrist. "Come on…"

-x-

Their drenched warmups littered Haru's floor.

Rin climbed into bed first, stretching out on the right side of Haru's bed in his tank top and leg skins. He bundled up beneath the covers with an obvious shiver. Haru slid in next to him, stripped down to his jammers and blue T-shirt.

Haru barely had time to lie down and draw up the blankets before Rin's body was flush against his and an arm was tucked snugly around his waist. Rin eyes were closed, though his cheeks were tinted with color. Haru reached up, sifting his fingers through damp garnet strands that still smelled like chlorine, and felt Rin relax. It didn't take long at all for Rin to fall asleep against him, with slow, regular breaths, his arm heavy and limp across Haru's hip. _Rin_. Haru stole a minute to watch Rin's sleeping face, the slack brow and soft expression, devoid of the usual tension and effort. His gaze lingered on the circles darkening the skin beneath Rin's eyes. _It's my fault you're tired. So I shouldn't be so happy that you're here with me._ But he couldn't help it. Haru sighed and closed his eyes, listening to the rhythmic patter of the rain outside.

…He woke a few hours later, overheating, and reluctantly pulled away from Rin's warmth. Rin mumbled something under his breath, rolling over, and went back to sleep.

Haru stayed in bed a little while longer, content…until his bladder decided otherwise and he had to get up. Rin didn't stir.

When he got back, Haru pulled on his blue and white sweatshirt and turned on one light, so he could see enough to work. He seated himself at the table, staring at the paperwork. The fear was still there, coiling tight and cold in his chest. But he took a deep breath and booted up his laptop. He opened up one of the emails Rin had sent, filling the screen with calming blue. Exhaling, he reached for a pen.

_For our dream, I can do this._

-x-

Haru was just getting into the Barcelona stuff when Rin grunted and the bedsheets rustled. He lifted his gaze from his paperwork and the computer screen as Rin got out of bed, yawning, and headed for the bathroom.

Haru went back to pensively studying the list of travel Spanish Rin had sent.

When Rin returned, Haru expected his friend to get back into bed. It had been four hours but, by the yawning, Rin still looked tired.

Instead, Rin came over and dropped down to sit behind him. Haru held his breath as Rin stretched out, wrapping arms around his waist, Rin's chin resting on his left shoulder.

"You getting through OK?" Rin's voice was husky, sleep-laden.

"Yeah," Haru said, the tension in his limbs unraveling with Rin's touch. "Better now."

"Mm."

They were quiet for a few long minutes, with only the sound of Haru's pen working on the form, or keys tapping on his laptop.

"…Spanish has the same vowel sounds as Japanese," Rin said eventually, sounding a little more awake. "So 'a' is still 'ah' and 'e' is still 'eh'. It's easy, right? Not like English."

"…Ah."

Haru caught sight of Rin's smile from the corner of his eye.

" _Buenos dias_." Rin squeezed him gently. "Try it."

"Nn…" Haru pressed his lips. " _B-Buenos dias_." It felt really awkward.

" _Mi nombre es Haruka Nanase_."

Haru blushed. "Rin…"

"Just say it, idiot."

Haru drew a breath and exhaled in a hard puff. _Fine._ " _Mi nombre es Haruka Nanase._ "

" _Yo s_ _ó_ _lo nado estilo libre._ "

He paused, his eyes flicking to the screen—that wasn't on the list. "What's that mean?"

There was a soft hum of amusement. Rin turned his face, his lips pressing a kiss to Haru's cheek. "I only swim free."

Haru's eyes widened. _Rin_. His surprise gave way to a warm, happy glow, welling up inside him.

"…You wanna try some Norwegian next?" Rin asked, freeing one hand and covering Haru's fingers on the laptop keyboard.

Haru leaned back into Rin's embrace and smiled. "Yeah."


	10. Tapered fly and free

Friday, May 13th, 2016

* * *

"…In French?" Rin asked, his arm propped on Haru's shoulder as they headed towards their seats in the conference room.

" _Maquereau_ ," Haru said.

 _I wonder if we're pronouncing that right..._ "Norwegian."

" _Makrell_."

 _Too easy_.

They sat down, tucking their gear bags under their chairs.

"In Spanish."

" _Caballo_ ," Haru said.

Rin snorted. "That's 'horse,' idiot. Try again."

"Nn." Haru paused thoughtfully. " _Caballa_."

"Better." Rin smiled. "How about Portuguese?"

" _Cavala_ ," Haru said, looking smug.

From Rin's left, Ikehara leaned over with a brow lifted. "Vocab lessons?"

"Just the essentials," Rin said, sitting back in his chair and slipping his hands into the pockets of his Team Japan warmup jacket.

"Ah…" Ikehara said, looking slightly puzzled.

"The best _saba_ is imported from Norway," Haru said, starry-eyed.

Rin chuckled. _Between the pools and the mackerel, I think you'll survive, Haru._ He pressed his lips briefly. … _Though I don't know how I will._

"Alright, everyone, let's get started," Assistant Coach Maekawa said from the front of the room.

Rin reluctantly turned his attention forward.

Akagi sat on a stool nearby, leaning back against the whiteboard. Both assistant coaches wore their red and white warmups; Maekawa's brown hair was tamed into a ponytail.

She waited a moment more for everyone to get settled, then stepped forward, wielding a whiteboard marker in her right hand. "Welcome back, Olympians. Training camp will feel a little different this time around. Today, we'll begin staggered tapering according to menus our team has designed for each of your unique training needs and temperaments."

There was a split of groaning and quiet cheering in the room.

"The goal is to rest, recover, and listen to your body. Some of you high-strung types are going to hate being less active and will feel awful at first—"

Rin could've sworn she glanced at him when she said that. _Pff_. _I am not fucking high-strung._

"That'll pass as you begin to recuperate from the fatigue you've accumulated over the last several months of hard work. Expect shorter workouts of higher intensity. You _must_ stick to your prescribed regimen. Extra training is _not_ allowed; extra sleep is required."

Rin exhaled. _Nn_.

Maekawa's eyes scanned the room again. "For those of you on the other side of the spectrum—" Her gaze briefly landed on Haru. "—who live for tapering, don't expect to just screw off all day. There will be meetings with sponsor reps, interviews, photo ops, and lots of information on Rio. You'll get your vaccinations for travel, along with information on other health and security considerations."

Haru sighed, his chin resting on the heel of his hand.

"Remember to cut back on your caloric intake—you're not working as hard; you don't need to eat as much. Though," Maekawa smiled, "—if you gain a little weight it's not the end of the world. The dining hall will be adding a few regional cuisine items to the menu, so you can get an idea of what to look for when eating abroad."

She propped a hand on her hip. "After the Japan Open, you can expect a mix of tapering and normal workouts, with consideration to your other competitions leading up to Rio. Any questions?" Maekawa paused. "…Alright. Akagi and I will be passing out your schedules for the week."

Rin leaned back in his chair, folding his arms as the room dissolved into side conversations and the sound of papers rustling. "I fucking hate taper," he muttered.

Haru glanced over, his forearms folded against the table top. "Tapering is great. We should always do it."

Rin rolled his eyes. _Of course you think so._

After getting their paperwork, they grabbed their stuff and followed their teammates out into the hall.

"Don't you feel better, after?" Haru asked.

Rin rolled his shoulders. "Eventually. But in the beginning it just feels like I got creamed by a bus."

Haru's eyes warmed with amusement. "You're supposed to sleep that off."

"Some of us are better at sleeping than others."

Haru lowered his voice to a whisper. "You don't seem to have trouble with me."

An irritated flush heated Rin's face. "Yeah, well, it's not like that's an option here, Haru."

"It's too bad." Haru glanced at him. "I really like going to sleep with you."

Rin inhaled. _Haru._ He was still embarrassed, but the annoyance faded. His breath came out in a puff and he rubbed the back of his neck. "…Same."

Haru smiled with his eyes as they walked.

Rin finally glanced at the sheet he'd been given. "Tailoring?"

Haru looked at his paper. "Me too."

-x-

Their destination kept them on the first floor of the main training building, but in the wing with the JOC offices. The glass-front room had mannequins in the window, some in formal JOC attire, others in Team Japan athletic gear for multiple different sports. Rin's gaze lingered on the formal menswear—a red blazer with gold buttons and the JOC logo embroidered on the breast pocket, a striped shirt with a stiff white collar, and crisp white slacks. The necktie was black with slanted white and red stripes, and the JOC logo front and center.

"We're gonna rock that, Haru," Rin said, grinning.

"Nn." Haru was frowning slightly. "I hate ties."

"You don't like things touching your neck?"

"Tight things are annoying." Haru's lips pursed faintly. "Touching is OK. Sometimes." Blue eyes flicked to him askance.

Rin's breath trailed over his teeth as he exhaled. _I'm gonna remember that, Haru._ He got the door…

Inside on the left, there was an angled mirror with three sections in front of a small platform. Four black garment bags hung on a rack nearby. On the right side of the room were two curtained changing areas and a seating alcove. The rest of the small space was taken up with a desk, behind which, a floor-to-ceiling curtain closed off the back of the room.

A quiet chime sounded when they entered the space. A man emerged from the back room; he was middle-aged with combed black hair and glasses, wearing a navy-blue suit with a thin, paisley tie. He smiled, a flexible tape measure draped around his neck. "Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun, welcome. Please, you may set your things down over there."

They dropped their gear bags at the base of a plush chair.

"My name is Hoshino," the tailor said. "We'll be fitting you for your formal uniforms today. The finished pieces will be ready next week." The man's eyes flicked over them as if measuring with a glance. "Your new suits and team attire have arrived. You'll be receiving your official suits and warmups for Rio during your final training camp in São Paulo." He paused. "Any questions before we get started?"

"None here," Rin said.

Haru shook his head.

The tailor smiled, waving a hand at the platform in front of the mirrors. "Who would like to go first?"

Rin glanced at the wary look on Haru's face and stepped forward. "Me."

Hoshino proved brisk and efficient; in short order Rin was retreating from the platform. He watched as Haru stood there stiffly while the tailor took the measurements. Haru tensed when Hoshino wrapped the tape measure around his throat.

"Thank you, Nanase-kun. We're done." Hoshino said, withdrawing the tape measure and stepping aside. "Please wait just a moment." He bowed and disappeared beyond the curtain into the back room.

Haru stepped down from the platform, tucking his hands into the pockets of his unzipped warmup jacket. He was wearing a navy blue Koutei T-shirt underneath.

"This is some kind of special torture to you, huh?" Rin asked.

Haru shrugged. "I just like being comfortable."

Rin cocked a brow. "If this is bad, what're you gonna do when we have to get all our shots?"

"I've never had problems with shots or other medical stuff," Haru said. "That time I fainted in middle school and woke up in the hospital with an IV…that wasn't a big deal."

" _What?_ You fainted in middle school?"

Haru blinked. "Oh, I didn't tell you about that?"

" _Haru_." Rin started forward. "You—"

At that moment, the tailor came back, carrying two more garment bags. He hung the bags in the changing rooms. "Matsuoka-kun," he said, gesturing to the first room. "Nanase-kun." Hoshino gestured to the second room. "Please note that the pants are unhemmed, so watch your step when you come out."

Rin tore his gaze from Haru, stepping into the changing cubicle as Hoshino drew the curtain. He exhaled, turning his attention to the garment bag and dragging the zipper down. _I missed a lot being gone. Haru, I wanna make up for lost time._

Rin stripped down to his leg skins and started getting dressed in front of the mirror in the tiny room. He pulled on white slacks and the striped, button-down shirt. There were white leather shoes and a matching belt. Rin's anticipation built as he knotted the JOC logo necktie and shrugged into the red blazer. He grinned at the mirror, pulling his hair away from his collar. _Hell yeah, I look good._ He turned, slinging the curtain to one side, impatient to see Haru…

Haru stepped out at the exact same time, giving him a cool look that had the air catching in Rin's throat. _Fuck, Haru. You may not like it, but damn, you look hot in a suit._ The red was offset by the glossy black of Haru's hair and Haru's eyes were a startling shade of blue in contrast. Not to mention that the properly fitted clothes accented Haru's lithe, muscular form…

A glitter of amusement came into Haru's gaze, as if Rin's face was shouting what he was thinking again. His cheeks warmed.

The tailor came forward, kneeling and folding the hem of their pant legs so they could walk without tripping. "Nanase-kun, please," Hoshino said, gesturing to the platform.

Haru stepped up and Rin enjoyed the view as the tailor worked, checking cuffs and sleeve lengths.

"How's the collar, Nanase-kun?" Hoshino asked.

"It's fine."

"Not too tight?"

"No."

The tailor measured and marked the hem for the slacks, having Haru turn to the side to see.

Haru nodded.

"Thank you, Nanase-kun. I'll have you get undressed…" Hoshino went to the nearby rack, taking down two of the four bags. "…And try on these items. Please let me know if anything fits improperly." He hung the bags in Haru's room.

"Thank you." Haru stepped down, his gaze scraping Rin head to toe before he disappeared into his changing room and closed the curtain with a snap.

"Matsuoka-kun, your turn."

"…Ah."

Rin stepped onto the platform, holding still as Hoshino worked.

Not a minute later, Haru flung the curtain aside and stepped out in jammers only. "Rin, look," he said, his eyes bright and voice warm with excitement.

Rin caught it all in the reflection—the black jammers with flowing lines of purple and white down each side, _JAPAN_ in white text on the left thigh and a small Japanese flag on the left hip, just inside the pelvic bone. He whistled low. Yeah, Haru could rock a formal suit, but _damn_. _You're fucking sparkling._ And the gleam in Haru's eyes said he knew it.

"How's the fit, Nanase-kun?" the tailor asked.

"It's nice," Haru said.

"Excellent. Be sure to try on the other items as well…"

"Nn." Haru turned away eventually, heading back to his changing room.

Hoshino finished measuring the hem for the slacks. "How's this length, Matsuoka-kun?" he asked, stepping back.

Rin turned to the side, glancing down. "Yeah, looks good."

The tailor smiled. "Alright then. You can take this off." He moved the remaining two garments bags into Rin's room. "Please give these a try."

"Thanks."

Rin retreated into the changing cubicle and stripped carefully, mindful of the pins. He opened the garment bags and his eyes bugged at the clothes—multiple T-shirts, extra warmups jackets and pants, shorts… And his new leg skins. He pulled them from the hanger reverently, touching the smooth black material—the red stripes down the sides, the JAPAN in white lettering, the little flag in the same place as Haru's.

He stripped off his normal leg skins and tossed them to the floor, shimmying into the new pair…the fit was _snug_ —perfect. He secured the waist and leapt from the changing room. "Haru—"

Haru exited his room, still only in his jammers. The addition was a black swim cap with the Japanese flag on the left side and NANASE in white block letters on the right.

Rin gaped. "Those are in there, too?"

"Yeah, a whole pack," Haru said, skimming Rin's new suit with his eyes. "You look good, Rin." His gaze seemed to linger on the little flag on Rin's hip.

Rin grinned. "A picture will last longer, Haru."

"It will," Haru said, lifting his gaze. "When are we going to the pool?"

He laughed. "I don't know. What does our paper say?"

Haru sighed, starting to turn around—

"—Wait." Rin grabbed Haru's arm, stepping up onto the platform and tugging Haru with him. "Look at us." He lowered his voice to hushed tones, gazing at their reflection, at their coordinated suits. "We look like real Olympic swimmers now." He slipped his arm around Haru's shoulders and grinned.

Haru was quiet for a moment, as if soaking it all in. Then his eyes warmed and he wrapped an arm around Rin's waist, his thumb resting lightly against Rin's hipbone. "Yeah. We do."

-x-

They arrived at the Sports Sciences pool a few minutes early for their workout session. The last session was just finishing up; a handful of their teammates were heading for the showers.

Rin's session was supposed to be 60 minutes with Coach Maekawa while Haru was scheduled to go 90 minutes with Coach Akagi. As others started to arrive, the split between the two groups became obvious. There was the mellow group—Haru, Ikehara, Kawamura, and a couple of girls…and the _not_ mellow group, consisting of Rin, Mikoshiba, Momo, and Takara.

"Hey, you guys got your new suits," Ikehara said, smiling as he joined them in his usual jammers. "Looking sharp."

"Thanks!" Rin grinned. He and Haru were wearing their new suits and new swim caps—to break them in and get a feel for the new material, of course. _Obviously_ those were the only reasons… _Not because we're totally slaying._

Momo's jaw dropped. "Ehhh? I want my new suit! Nii-chan!" The kid hopped from one foot to the other, his goggles bouncing at his throat. "When do we get to go?"

Mikoshiba perched both hands on speedo-clad hips and laughed. "It's your lucky day, Momotarou! We get to go after lunch!"

"But I _can't_ wait that long!"

Rin chuckled. He tried to imagine what the Team Japan speedos would look like, given that there wasn't much real estate. They'd probably get the Japanese flag on the left hip, but there wasn't anywhere to write JAPAN in the same size letters as adorned his and Haru's left thighs. …Unless they put it across the back, but he couldn't imagine anyone in the JOC wanting writing on a swimmer's ass.

"Haruka." Takara wore black kneeskins with splashes of lavender and a white swim cap. She smiled, sauntering up to Haru and giving him a once-over with her mascara-framed eyes. "You're luscious. Especially the…" She reached out—

In the same instant Haru moved out of the way, Rin _lost_ it. He narrowed his eyes, his voice cool. "Knock it off, Sakamoto."

"Hmm?" Her fingers curled on air. She leveled a frosty gaze at him as she returned her arm to her side. "It sounds like you're attempting to claim victory is our rivalry, Matsuoka." Her eyes danced at him. "That's not really your call, honey."

Rin shrugged, not letting her get under his skin this time. "Fine. Ask him if you want."

"Nii-chan…" Momo's whisper was loud as he tugged on his brother's arm. "What's happening?"

"Gladly," Takara said, perching her hand on her hip. "Haruka, who do you love?"

"And…we're going over here, Momotarou." Mikoshiba dragged his brother away.

 _Love._ Rin stiffened. _Why'd you say it like that?_ … _We've kissed twice and one of those times didn't really count. We've been on one date (not Sydney). Who the hell is thinking anything about 'love?'_ That shit killed dreams. Takara could've said 'like' or 'crush' or even 'boyfriend.' _But you had to fucking say 'love' and make this weird._

Haru exhaled. "Give it a rest, Takara." His voice was quiet. "I never agreed to play this game with you." He settled his goggles over his eyes and headed for the pool.

 _Haru…_ Rin watched as Haru dove in. His heart was thudding in his chest like he'd done something wrong. He must have. Because Haru should've rolled his eyes and ignored her…or played along…or something. Instead of shutting it down like that.

Takara rolled her shoulders, turning away but not before throwing a smirk in Rin's direction. "Well, Matsuoka. I think you still have some work to do."

Rin glared at her back as she walked away. _This is your fault. …So why do I feel guilty?_ He moved towards the pool, intent on joining Haru—

"Alright, Olympians, let's get going," Maekawa said, coming over. "Matsuoka, Sakamoto, Mikoshiba brothers, you're with me."

Reluctantly, Rin followed. _Haru. What did I do…?_

…After his 60 minutes were up, Rin climbed out of the pool, breathing hard and grabbing a towel. In a different lane, Haru and his group were still at it. But Rin wasn't scheduled to stay. He rinsed off in the locker room and donned a tank top plus his warmups. He glanced at his paperwork. A thirty minute lunch period followed a two-hour nap? _Yeah, right._ Aside from that one time with Haru (…or a couple times in the bath with Haru), he didn't _nap_.

 _Whatever_. He grabbed his stuff and headed for the Athlete's Village.

Their room was on the sixth floor this time and vacant when Rin got back after lunch. He dumped his stuff at the foot of his bed and changed into his pajamas. He paused to draw the blackout curtains across the glass doors—the dark might help him doze at least. But the second he crawled into bed and laid his head on the pillow, taper-hell hit him like a one-two punch and he passed out.

-x-

Rin stirred when the mattress and blankets shifted… He was disoriented at first, blinking in the darkness, but then he smelled chlorine and _Haru_ …and he relaxed. Rin rolled over, meeting Haru's embrace, dragging his arm across familiar shoulders clad in a soft T-shirt. Their limbs were a coiled, tangled mess when he sighed, content, his face pressed into damp strands of hair. "Haru…"

"Rin." His name was a breathy exhale in the quiet room.

-x-

When his alarm buzzed after two hours, Rin groaned. He felt like _shit_ —tired and hot and cranky. _This_ was why he didn't fucking nap. He twisted in Haru's arms, reaching to silence the damn incessant noise—

And his eyes flew open. _Why are you in bed with me? We're not home—we're at training camp—and Ikehara-senpai is right over there—_

He squinted in the darkness, thinking he could just make it out—that Ikehara's bed was empty and untouched. _But maybe I'm imagining it._ Rin flicked on the bedside lamp…and exhaled in relief. _We're alone._

Haru grunted, pushing his face into Rin's pillow as if he could escape the invasion of light. His arm tightened around Rin's waist.

Part of him just wanted to say _fuck it_ and snuggle in. It wasn't likely they were fooling Ikehara anyways. But out of common decency, Rin couldn't really ask the guy to come back to his own room just to find the two of them cuddling in bed…even if they were wearing their clothes.

"Haru, wake up."

"…Nn."

Rin pried Haru's arm from his waist, sitting up. " _Haru_ —"

"Damnit, _what_?" Haru mumbled, rolling onto his back and rubbing his eyes.

"When you were aiming for beds, you missed."

Haru brushed a hand through his hair, looking up at Rin with sleep-laden eyes. "Don't think so, Rin. I was looking for yours."

Rin's face heated. "But Ikehara-senpai—"

"—has meetings until 2:30," Haru said and yawned. "He told me he didn't think he'd be back until 3."

… _Oh._

Haru pushed the covers back. "But I can spend the rest of my designated nap period in my own bed—"

Rin snagged Haru's arm, pulling him back down to the bed until they were lying together, face-to-face.

"Rin…?" Blue eyes were searching his face.

Rin hesitated, gathering himself with a breath. "Haru, whatever I did, I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Haru's brows lifted.

"Earlier at the pool. When Sakamoto—"

"Oh." Haru's face shuttered; he was silent for an agonizing moment. "Don't let Takara get to you, Rin. She did that on purpose. She's just trying to get a rise out of you."

Rin pressed his lips. "Well, she's fucking good at it, the way she was flirting with you."

Haru exhaled. "I'm not gonna let her touch me like _that_ , Rin."

"Nn." He frowned. "I just wanted her to get the idea."

"The idea?"

 _That we're…something._ Rin's face burned. It felt too weird to say that out loud, especially when he hadn't exactly figured it out yet—what that _something_ was. _But we're not 'just friends.' …And I don't want to share this with anyone else._

Haru sighed. He reached over…and Rin exhaled raggedly when Haru's fingers slipped into his hair.

"…Rin." Haru's voice was barely a whisper. "Did you change your mind about 'someday?'"

"No." Rin curled his arm around Haru, pulling him in a little. "Except that I think 'someday' should be sooner rather than later."

"And it's not just sex, right?"

Rin inhaled sharply. "Haru, _no._ " His face was flaming hot. "I'd never use you like that."

Haru relaxed, smiling with his eyes. "OK."

"…OK what?"

Haru shrugged, looking happy. "Just…OK. That's all I need right now."

Rin's breath slipped out between his lips. "Haru…"

Haru's warm, steady fingers coaxed Rin's head forward. Rin closed his eyes, feeling the plume of moist air against his forehead before Haru's lips brushed the same spot. Then Haru was sliding away, the mattress shifting as he got up. Rin opened his eyes, watching as Haru crossed the space between their beds in his T-shirt and boxer briefs and climbed into his own bed.

"You're supposed to be somewhere, right?" Haru asked, chasing his words with a yawn.

"…Yeah." Rin got up, fishing his folded paper from the pocket of his warmup jacket. He had a meeting about Granada in the main training building at 1:30pm.

He got dressed, grabbing the few things he might need, and turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into darkness again.

"You set an alarm, right?" he asked, feeling the way around his bed to Haru's.

"Yeah. My next thing's at 2:30."

His eyes adjusted slowly. He found the edge of Haru's bed, leaning down towards the sound of Haru's voice. His fingers sifted through soft shards of silky hair; his lips found Haru's cheek. "Have a good nap."

"…I'll try. It was better before."

Rin smiled and felt his way to the door in the dark…

* * *

Monday, May 16th, 2016

* * *

It was 7am, the sun was beginning to break in through the clouds, and Haru was still asleep. Ikehara was sitting up in his bed with his laptop and headphones, so Rin wasn't worried about disturbing the guy when he perched on the edge of Haru's bed. Rin was already dressed in his leg skins, warmup pants, and tank top, sans the jacket for now.

" _Haru, good morning_ ," he said in English.

Haru stirred and blinked. "Huh?" He sat up, rubbing his eyes. The blankets pooled at his waist; Rin's shark T-shirt was slightly twisted around Haru's torso.

" _I said… Good morning, Haru_." He annunciated each word carefully.

Haru peered at him with a look like, _what are you doing?_

Rin fought the urge to grin. " _We're having English Day. You can only talk to me in English. And I'll only talk to you in English._ "

There was a pause as Haru processed… Blue eyes slit in obvious annoyance.

" _Well…? Aren't you going to greet me?_ "

A self-conscious blush rose in Haru's cheeks. " _…Good morning, Rin,_ " he said in quiet English.

 _Oh, you are too fucking adorable._ Rin smiled.

-x-

They made their way down to the dining hall in their warmups, carrying their gear bags.

" _What do you want to eat, Haru?_ " Rin asked as they headed towards the line.

Haru pursed his lips. " _I want to eat_ sa—" He paused, exhaling. " _I want to eat mackerel_."

Rin handed him a tray. " _And to drink_?"

" _Juice_."

Rin smiled. " _What kind of juice?"_

Haru glared at him. " _Orange juice._ "

Rin flicked his eyes toward the ceiling with a sigh. " _You're still picking the easy words, Haru._ "

After loading up their trays, they headed to their usual table, where the Mikoshiba brothers, Takara, and Ikehara were already seated, along with a few other girls.

" _After this, what do you want to do_?" Rin asked as they set their trays down.

" _Pool_ ," Haru said, slipping into a chair.

" _Sentence, Haru_."

Haru exhaled. " _I want to go to the pool_."

Takara glared at them from the across the table. "What the fuck are you guys doing?"

"They're having English Day," Ikehara said, lifting his cup of green tea.

Mikoshiba grinned. "That's an excellent idea, Matsuoka-kun." He turned to his brother. " _Momotarou! How are you today?_ "

Momo peered at his brother for several seconds as everyone waited… " _Hi! My name is Momo!_ " The kid grinned proudly.

There was a quiet round of chuckling.

Takara rolled her eyes. " _Did he flunk English?_ "

" _Probably too busy hunting stag beetles_ ," Rin said.

Momo was still beaming, oblivious. " _I eat hamburgers_."

-x-

After their workout at the pool—Rin was still amused by the murderous look Haru gave him for having to read off their set in English—they were headed to the clinic on the third floor. They checked in and sat in the waiting room, filling out medical history forms.

Haru started writing his name in English.

" _Haru, you can do this part in Japanese._ "

Haru gave him a defiant look. " _You said it was English Day, Rin._ "

" _You knew what I meant._ " He nudged Haru's arm with his elbow.

Haru exhaled and started filling out the rest in Japanese.

When Rin was finished with his, he sat back, glancing at the clock on the wall. Why was it that waiting in any kind of medical facility meant that seconds felt like minutes felt like hours? …Or was it just his apprehension about the shots?

" _Rin, are you scared_?"

He snorted. " _I'm not scared_."

Haru pointed. " _Your leg…_ "

His left leg was bouncing. Rin stilled it, his breath coming out in a puff.

" _Do you want me to come in with you_?"

 _Yes_ , he thought. " _No_."

" _I can hold your hand_."

 _That would be nice… If I was still five._ He sighed. " _I'll be OK, Haru._ "

Haru shrugged and went back to his form.

The door opened and a nurse in white scrubs checked her clipboard, looking out across the waiting room. "Matsuoka-kun?"

Clutching his completed form, Rin got up, shoving his other hand into his pocket as he followed her back.

The nurse led him to a cubicle that was little more than a computer on a desk and two chairs. He sat down while the nurse looked over his form. After a moment, she set the paper down on the desk, next to a plastic bin containing several packaged syringes.

Rin looked away, feeling a cold sweat line his collar.

"We'll start with your vitals, Matsuoka-kun," the nurse said in a soothing voice.

-x-

"…The main points are, don't drink tap water or anything made from tap water, including ice," the nurse said. "Eat only cooked foods that are piping hot or fruits with a thick peel that you remove yourself. You can be less cautious with any foods served in the Olympic Village. But stay away from street vendors and the like. There are more details in this packet for you to read." The nurse paused, slipping a folder into the plastic bag he would take away with him. "We're giving you a prescription for any food or waterborne illness you may contract—only take it if you need it." She showed him a vial of pills. "And mosquito repellant." She held up a lime green tube. "Use this whenever you go outside. Mosquitos will be less common at this time of year, thus the risk of Zika transmission is lower, but you should still take appropriate precautions. Be sure to read the details in here." She again tapped the folder, then slipped the pills and repellant into the bag with it. "Only practice safe sex—"

Rin felt a blush creep up his neck.

"—as Zika can be sexually transmitted…not to mention protecting yourself from HIV or any other STD. The Olympic Village will have free condoms readily available; of course you can also bring your own."

_Yup, I one hundred percent got it and we don't have to talk about it anymore._

"Now, you're not planning on participating in the Open Water Swim event, correct?"

Rin shook his head. "No."

The nurse nodded. "Understood. So we won't be providing you with the antibiotics for that. We still recommend you avoid swimming at the beaches or in any other waterway to reduce the risk of becoming ill. Practice good hygiene, avoid hand-to-mouth contact until after you've thoroughly washed your hands, etc. …Do you have any questions, Matsuoka-kun?"

He shifted in the small chair. "No." He'd been sitting too long with the plastic bin of syringes staring him in the face.

"Very well. Then, as far as your immunizations…"

Rin inhaled, straightening in the chair.

"We'll be giving you a combination first dose of vaccines for Hepatitis A and B—you'll get a second dose in six months, after you get home—as well as a vaccine for typhoid fever. The Hepatitis vaccine is the injection you'll get today; the typhoid vaccine is a series of pills you'll take orally a week before you arrive in Brazil." The nurse smiled kindly. "So just one shot today."

 _Damnit, it's showing on my face again_.

"If you're ready, we'll go back to the procedure room."

He exhaled. "Yeah."

She led the way towards a room in the back.

Rin passed other cubicles as they walked.

"…You mean the _water_ makes people sick?"

He only heard Haru's voice because it was Haru…somehow Rin was tuned to hear him. And not only his words but the shock and dismay in his tone. The answering voice was muffled.

"…Matsuoka-kun?"

Rin caught up with the nurse, not realizing he'd slowed his steps. _Haru. You didn't know?_

The procedure room was full of all kinds of equipment Rin chose not to look at. The nurse had him sit in a padded chair with a bar that latched across the front. _I'm not fucking passing out._ He peeled off his warmup jacket as she washed up and snapped on a set of gloves.

"Alright, Matsuoka-kun, this won't be too bad," she said, arranging her tray of equipment.

Rin looked away as she swabbed his arm with a cold alcohol wipe and let the area dry.

"Expect to feel some soreness at the sight of the injection. A low grade fever, headache, and fatigue are also normal side effects." She stuck him without a break in her words; Rin winced at the pain and burning sensation. "Any difficulty breathing, swelling, hives, high fever, dizziness…would be signs of an allergic reaction. Please contact the emergency number immediately in that case. …There we go. All done."

Rin released the breath he'd been holding.

"You'll want to take it easy for the next twenty-four hours. Certainly no weight lifting or high intensity exercises." The nurse taped a bit of gauze to his arm, then proceeded to clean up her materials. "How are you feeling, Matsuoka-kun?"

"Fine," he said. _Can I go now?_

The nurse smiled as she discarded her gloves and washed her hands. "Alright, just a minute or two more. I've had larger men than you faint on me the instant they stood up."

 _Hmph_.

After the prescribed interval, she unlatched the bar and moved it out of the way. "Take it easy. No sudden movements…"

Rin nodded, getting up slowly even though it was annoying. He felt a wave of lightheadedness as he straightened, but it passed.

"…Still doing alright?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah," he said after a deep breath. "I'm good." He pulled on his jacket.

The nurse smiled. "Then I'll get your bag and you'll be on your way."

Rin ended up back in the waiting area—Haru wasn't done yet. He sat down, clutching the bag of medical items and glanced at his schedule. There was another sponsor meeting in twenty minutes. After that, his calendar was clear for the rest of the day.

Rin waited. It would only take him a few minutes to get downstairs…

-x-

Twelve minutes later (not that Rin was counting), Haru emerged from the back, carrying a similar bag of supplies and paperwork.

"Haru." Rin got to his feet.

Haru looked at him and blinked…and Rin's breath stopped, strangled in his throat. The blank, shocked, _numb_ look on Haru's face made Rin go cold. To anyone else, Haru probably looked like his normal, stoic self. But Rin could tell. Haru was shaken up…and Rin panicked inside.

 _I can't do this again. I can't lose you again like last time, even for one day._ Rin propelled himself forward, grabbing Haru's free hand and not giving a damn who else was around. " _Haru._ "

Haru blinked again and a trace of life woke in the blue depths of his eyes. "Rin." He paused, his forehead creasing thoughtfully. " _I'm going to our room._ "

Rin inhaled. "Haru, you can knock it off with the English."

" _It's OK. You have a meeting?_ "

"… _Yeah. I'll come back right after_."

Haru nodded. " _I'll wait._ " He squeezed Rin's fingers and pulled away.

-x-

Rin's heart was thudding in his chest, pumping icy fluid through his veins. He couldn't stop thinking about it—coming back to their room, Haru and all of his things gone… _Fuck!_ How much longer was this stupid meeting going to run? _You have to be there this time, Haru. I can't—_

"…What do you think, Matsuoka-kun?"

Rin blinked, coming back to the man sitting across from him, cups of tea and paperwork covering the table between them. The man wore a plain, navy blue business suit with a white shirt and no tie. They were sitting near the windows in the café on the first floor of the Sports Sciences building.

Rin tried to recall what they were talking about, but came up blank. " _Sumimasen_." He dipped his head. "Could you please repeat the question?"

The sponsor rep straightened a stack of paperwork and gave a sympathetic smile. "Matsuoka-kun, you just had your medical, right? Let's reschedule the rest of this conversation. If you could look over this information in the meantime, when you're feeling better…"

Rin's face heated. " _Sumimasen_. I—"

"No, it's alright," the man said with a wave of his hand. "We'll find a time later in the week." He got up; Rin followed suit.

They shook hands and Rin bowed from the waist. "…Thank you."

"Of course." The man gathered his things. "Get some rest."

Rin only straightened when the man had gone. He discarded his untouched cup of tea and grabbed the handful of paperwork, jamming everything into his bag with the medicine. Then he bolted for the stairs—

-x-

He got to the sixth floor of the Athlete's Village out of breath and perspiring—running after the damn shot wasn't the best idea. Rin shoved sweaty hair from his eyes and swiped his keycard at their door. It flashed red at him and he muttered a curse, forcing himself to redo the swipe properly…

The door unlocked and Rin rushed in.

"Haru—"

The lights were on, but Haru wasn't there. His things were, though. Haru's bed was littered with paperwork and his laptop.

 _Don't fucking panic. He probably just went to the bathroom or something_. Rin drew deep breaths as he walked into the room. He threw his bag down on his bed and glanced at Haru's laptop.

It hadn't even gone to the screensaver yet, so Haru must've just left. On the screen, a browser was open with tab after tab of information about waterborne illnesses, parasites, sanitation…articles about places all over the world.

 _Haru._ Rin sat down on the edge of his bed, his lungs emptying in a rush. Yeah, in the back of his mind he knew there were water issues across the globe and he was aware of the specific concerns related to Rio. But those kinds of problems didn't affect his daily life. To someone like Haru, though, who loved the water…

Rin sighed, thrusting a hand through his hair. His gaze caught on a scrap of paper on the nightstand between his and Haru's beds…

 _Shower_ was written there in Haru's neat English letters.

Rin ran for the door—

The men's bathroom on the floor had four shower stalls. Two of the four had showers going; the one on the far right had a door that was slightly ajar.

 _Oh, you'd better fucking be in here…_ Rin glanced around to make sure no one else was there before tentatively pushing at the door. Team Japan warmups were strewn on the shelf in the changing area just inside. The lights were on in the narrow, tiled space. There were spots for hanging towels, though they were empty now; a glass inner door led into the actual shower. Haru was sitting in the corner, in his jammers. He had his knees hugged to his chest as his frame was pelted by the spray.

Relief flooded Rin, though it was only half-hearted. He entered, closing the door behind him and securing the latch. Stripping down to his leg skins, he left everything else bundled up on the shelf next to Haru's things.

He opened the glass door and winced at the icy mist that hit his skin. "Can I turn it up?"

Haru nodded without looking up.

Rin adjusted the water to a reasonable temperature so they wouldn't freeze to death, then he stepped under the spray. He sat down next to Haru, his back against slick beige tile. There was just enough room to sit shoulder-to-shoulder in the narrow stall; if he stretched out his legs, he'd hit the glass door.

Haru immediately leaned against him.

Rin exhaled hard, circling Haru's frigid shoulders with both arms, unsure whether to be happy Haru was letting him in…or really worried.

" _It's cold_ ," Haru said with a shiver.

"Whose fault is that, idiot?" Rin tightened his arms, wiping icy water from Haru's hair. "And I said you could stop it with the English. We'll practice later."

Haru fell quiet. Rin cradled him as the shower spray pounded their skin.

Gradually, Haru's shivering stopped. "Your meeting's over?"

"Yeah…I fucked that up," Rin muttered. He sighed. "I couldn't concentrate."

"I promised you, Rin. After last time."

"…I know. But I still…" He pressed his face into Haru's wet hair. "I needed to get to you. …I didn't realize you didn't know."

"I don't really watch the news," Haru said. "I kind of stopped…after the tsunami."

Five years ago… He'd been in Australia then, in middle school. But Rin remembered the pictures, the videos…the walls of water and fire, the destruction, the dead and the missing… "I don't blame you."

"Water's dangerous. Your dad died that way... Rei and Makoto almost drowned that one summer in high school... We have to respect the water's power and fury—I get all that." Haru paused. "But just drinking water…just being in water like this…shouldn't make people sick."

… _Haru._

"People need water to live. They shouldn't have to choose between dying or being sick all the time."

"…Yeah."

"It's not OK."

Rin didn't answer. Haru was right. _But what are you going to do about it? You're talking about world peace, world hunger type stuff._

They fell quiet again, the water streaming through their hair, running rivulets down their limbs.

"…Rin?" Haru's wet hands grasped Rin's arms.

Rin lifted his head. "Yeah?"

Haru unfurled against him and snuggled in. "Thanks for being here."

Emotion clogged Rin's throat. He swallowed hard, but his voice was still hoarse when he got the words out. "Yeah, Haru."

-x-

…Rin's legs were falling asleep. He stretched them carefully, wincing at the sensation of pins and needles as he wiggled his toes.

Haru grunted his protest. "Why are you moving?"

"Because I need to, dummy."

"Nn."

"Haru, we should get out."

" _Nn_ …"

"Seriously, look at my skin." Rin freed one of his hands, displaying the wrinkled flesh on the pads of his fingers and his palm. "Yours too." He grabbed one of Haru's hands, aligning their furrowed digits side by side.

Haru sighed. "…Fine." He sat up, taking his weight off Rin.

Rin extended all of his limbs, his joints popping; his back was sore from sitting so long against the wall. Reaching up, he turned the water off. "Are you hungry? Tired?"

Haru flung the excess water from his head and paused, looking thoughtful. "Yeah."

"OK." Rin got up, pulling Haru with him, taking care to pick the arm that didn't have gauze taped to it. "You didn't bring any towels."

Haru shrugged as they pushed the glass door open and exited into the cramped changing space. "Neither did you."

" _Tch_. Good point." Rin wrung the water from his hair, wiping the droplets from his skin. _Now for the awkward part_. "You wanna go first or should I?" he asked, shimmying into his warmup pants.

Haru's eyes flicked to him askance. He was shrugging into his jacket. "Or we could go together and let them think what they want."

"Haru…" Rin blushed. _I can't tell if you're teasing or serious._

Haru's gaze warmed with a hint of amusement. He wrapped arms loosely around Rin's waist and pressed a kiss to Rin's cheek. "I'm kidding. I'll go first and let you know if it's clear."

Rin cared a lot less after that. Honestly, staying in here and giving everyone something to talk about didn't seem like a half-bad idea… But as Haru drew back, Rin could see the pain in the depths of Haru's eyes. Things were far from fine. He nodded.

Haru finished getting dressed, stepping into his sandals and slipping out the door.

Rin waited, quietly listening as he donned his warmup jacket.

A moment later, Haru pulled the door open, not saying anything but tilting his head in the direction of the toilet stalls.

Rin nodded. They snuck out of the bathroom without a word, dripping on the carpet in the hallway as they made their way back to their room.

Ikehara wasn't there when they went inside. They stripped down to their swimsuits and toweled off. Haru crawled into bed in his jammers and curled up.

Rin glanced at the clock. It was lunchtime; they both needed to eat. "I'll grab stuff from the cafeteria," he said, pulling on his standby black and red warmup pants and a gray sweatshirt. "What do you want?"

"Not _saba_ ," Haru murmured.

" _Not saba_?"

Haru started to shake his head, but stopped, wincing. "No. Just, like, rice or something. My head hurts."

Rin could feel a tickle of dull pain behind his eyes. "They said that was normal."

"Yeah." Haru closed his eyes.

Rin took a moment to straighten a few things, moving Haru's laptop and scattered papers to the desk. "Alright, I'll be right back."

"Thanks, Rin."

-x-

Down in the cafeteria, Rin filled to-go containers with savory rice porridge, fresh fruit, and a few other items. He grabbed packets of herbal tea to make upstairs.

"Rin-senpai, are you having a picnic?" Momo bounded up to him, thankfully stopping short of running into him given all the items piled on his tray.

The kid's sunny disposition made Rin's headache worse. "Sort of," Rin said. "Did you get your shots yet, Momo?"

"No, we're going after lunch!"

 _How can you look so happy about it?_ "Well, you can have your own headache picnic afterwards."

"Headache picnic?" Momo made a face. "That doesn't sound fun at all."

"Yeah, kinda not." Rin headed for the exit, carrying the tray. "See you later, Momo."

"Bye!" Momo dashed off towards the desserts.

Rin balanced the tray as he hit the button for the elevator, then again when he opened the door to their room. Soft, shallow breaths were coming from Haru's bed. Rin left the tray on the nightstand and went out to make tea and fill their water bottles.

Haru was still dozing when Rin got back.

He sat on Haru's bed, leaning back against the headboard and stretching his legs out on top of the covers. He sipped from a container of miso soup, glad for the quiet as his head throbbed.

Haru stirred a few minutes later. "What did you get?" he asked, sitting up and rubbing his face. The blankets pooled at his waist.

Rin set his soup aside and pulled the tray into his lap, lifting the covers on several items. "Soup, porridge, fruit, salad. Anything sound good?"

"…Porridge."

"Here." Rin balanced the tray across their thighs—his left, Haru's right—and handed Haru a spoon. "Or did you want me to feed you?"

"Nn." Haru grabbed the porridge container and sat back, eating with his head resting against Rin's shoulder.

Rin exhaled, content, and went back to sipping his soup.

-x-

They were finishing up with the fresh fruit and tea when Ikehara came in. The guy glanced at the nest they'd made on Haru's bed and smiled empathetically. "You guys doing OK?"

Haru shrugged.

"More or less," Rin said.

Ikehara nodded. He crossed the room, unpacking his stuff. "The good news is, you pretty much only have to do it once. Though, you have to sit through the same scary briefing every trip."

"About the water?" Haru asked, his gaze fixed on his paper cup of tea.

 _Haru…_ Rin lowered his empty fruit container.

"The content changes." Ikehara went to the closet, stripping off his Team Japan warmups and dressing in gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt instead. "Some places it's about water and food, other places it's about pickpockets or express kidnappings or 'don't go out alone after dark.' Sometimes all of the above." He shrugged. "If you keep your head about you, you'll be fine."

Haru sighed. He finished his tea and returned the empty cup to the tray.

Rin set the tray aside—it was only trash now.

Ikehara sat down on the right side of the desk with his laptop and started working on something.

"Rin, where'd you put my laptop?"

"It's on the desk. On the left." Rin leaned back, stretching a little.

"Oh." Haru got up and retrieved it, along with the rest of his paperwork. He was still only wearing his jammers. He climbed back into bed and booted up.

"Haru…I'm not sure it's good for you to dwell on it." Rin crossed his legs at the ankles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt.

"I'm not dwelling on anything," Haru muttered, pulling up a browser window and typing.

"Obsessing," Rin murmured.

Haru shot him a glare. "Go away, then. It's not like you have to watch."

"You'll just get depressed again!"

Haru inhaled through his nose. "Rin, it's important—"

"—What are you two fighting about?" Ikehara swiveled in his chair, his brows lifted.

 _Tch. We're not fighting. This is normal._ Rin pressed his lips.

Haru looked away, miffed. "Water."

"…What about it?"

Haru didn't answer.

 _Oh, now you're not gonna talk, huh?_ Rin rolled his eyes. "Water's a big deal to Haru. He got upset when he heard about the water safety concerns in Rio."

"It's not just Rio, Rin. Almost two billion people in the world have contaminated drinking water. It's estimated that half a million people die each year—"

"Stop Interneting! And _don't_ look at the pictures!"

"I'm not sure I understand the argument," Ikehara said.

"Nn." Rin's face heated. "We're not really arguing."

"He's just worried about me," Haru said, tapping keys on his keyboard. "He's afraid I'll go off and sulk or something."

Rin exhaled, exasperated. "You _did_. I found you curled up in the shower."

"Well, the irony of _that_ aside…" Ikehara smiled faintly. "If you're passionate about clean water, Nanase-kun, why not do something about it?"

Haru looked up, lifting his brows. "Like what?"

"Like…raise awareness, raise money. It can be your platform. I'm not saying the problem can be fixed overnight, but you can do _something_ to help. If you want."

 _Ah, hell. Why didn't I think of that?_ Rin sobered. _Am I really that much of a self-centered asshole? Winning is all that matters, my dream is all that matters…_ He fought the urge to sigh.

Haru was quiet for a thoughtful moment. "I'm not that good at talking to people."

Ikehara shook his head. "You don't have to be. Talk to your sponsor rep. They'll get you in touch with the right people. Once you make a name for yourself, if people know you're attached to a cause… It shouldn't be this way, but gold, silver, and bronze talk. They just do. People pay attention."

Haru settled back, his frame relaxed, his eyes warm with possibilities. "Clean water…"

He looked so happy, Rin was jealous…in addition to feeling like a narcissistic jerk. _I should just be glad you're not upset anymore._ But he couldn't help thinking… _Maybe my dream's not everything…or it is, but maybe it shouldn't be._

-x-

Rin headed back to the bathroom later with a length of dental floss, ready to attack a few stubborn bits he hadn't been able to worry from his teeth. Another shower was going when he got in there, but the place was quiet otherwise. Haru had been focused on his continued research when Rin left the room, making notes and devouring information on his laptop. It was rare to see him so motivated, but if anything could get Haru off his butt and engaged, it would be water.

Rin frowned at his reflection in the mirror above the basin. He looked like crap with burgundy hair falling in his face, his eyes shadowed by fatigue. He still had that dull headache. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea—trying a nap. Even if he didn't fall asleep, lying down in the quiet room would probably help his head. He started in with the floss.

Nap, dinner, go to bed early… If he was lucky, he'd start to feel normal again tomorrow. It had to happen soon or competing on Friday was going to suck. Not that he had to _feel_ good in the water to kick ass and win, but it was more fun that way.

The shower shut off and Rin barely noticed, focused on his flossing. But he froze when he heard a feminine giggle from the same stall.

A glance at the urinals meant he hadn't accidently wandered into the wrong bathroom. Rin scowled, heat creeping up his neck. _Don't fucking be subtle about it or anything_. _We're supposed to be tapering, not screwing around._ The girl sounded like she was trying to keep her voice down; the guy, not so much. Their voices were muffled by the shower stall as they talked.

Rin went back to his flossing, irritated. If this was a little taste of Rio… _I'll be bringing my headphones every time I have to use the fricking bathroom._

The stall door opened and a girl in blue and white warmups came out. Rin didn't recognize her; she wasn't on the swim team. The girl jumped when she saw him standing by the sinks; she flushed bright red and scampered for the exit.

Rin rolled his eyes, nearly done with his flossing.

The guy came out a minute later, in Team Japan warmups, scrubbing light brown hair with a towel.

Rin's insides coiled.

Kawamura noted his presence with a glance, but looked entirely unconcerned. The guy had a mellow, sated look on his face that Rin wanted to punch right off him.

Kawamura settled the towel around his neck and headed for the door. "Matsuoka," he said in passing, flicking a wad of refuse into the trash bin.

Rin grunted in reply, because he had no words other than _you're a total fucking dick and I've lost all respect for you._

The guy left and Rin slumped forward, gripping the basin as anger ran hot through his veins and increased his headache tenfold. _Sousuke, why? Why the fuck are you letting yourself be used by a guy like that?_ He stopped short of slamming his hand into something or kicking the wall, but _fuck_ , he wanted to.

Rin discarded his floss into the trash and left the bathroom.

Haru was the only one there when Rin got back. He was where Rin left him—sitting cross-legged on his bed in jammers and a blue dolphin T-shirt, with the laptop in his lap. He looked up as Rin entered, as if he could sense something was off. Hell, Rin's _footsteps_ might've been enough to indicate he was about to lose it.

Haru's face darkened with concern. He set the laptop aside. "Rin?"

Rin threw himself onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Haru's waist and burying his head in the front of Haru's shirt. "I fucking hate that guy," he said, his voice muffled by fabric. …And he hated himself for not being able to deal with this. For feeling things and not being able to turn it off—

Haru's arms settled around his shoulders, warm through Rin's sweatshirt. "Who, Rin?"

"Kawamura." Rin drew a ragged breath, his eyes burning. "He was doing some girl in the shower."

"Oh." Haru's fingers began to sift slowly through his hair. "Yeah, he gets around." Haru's voice was calm, soothing. "Hate's a strong word, though."

"Yeah, well, if he was screwing _your_ best friend, maybe you'd feel differently." Rin stilled as the words came out of his own mouth, lifting his head. " _Please_ tell me he's not also doing Makoto or anyone else we know."

Haru shook his head. "Makoto hasn't…" He exhaled. "We only run in some of the same circles. It's not like I keep track."

"Yeah…" Rin dropped his head against Haru's chest with a thud.

Haru's caresses resumed in his hair. "It bothers you, Rin? I got the impression Yamazaki and Kawamura go back a ways. That they're pretty good friends and it's an open thing."

" _Tch_. 'An open thing.'"

"When people agree to—"

"—I know what it means, Haru."

"So if they agreed to it, why is it any of your business?"

"It fucking _isn't_ ," Rin said, irritated and wanting to bite something. "But Sousuke's not happy. I can tell he's not happy."

Haru's fingers slid to a stop. His voice was quiet when he spoke. "You should stay out of it, Rin."

Rin exhaled roughly against Haru's chest. "Yeah, I know…"

"You can ask Yamazaki about it if you want, but…"

Rin raised his head. "But?"

Haru's face had shuttered. He shook his head.

"Haru, what?"

Haru's blue eyes darkened a shade. His hand came to rest against the side of Rin's face, his thumb near Rin's lower lip. "Just…be careful, Rin. He doesn't let you be free."

That didn't make much sense to Rin, though it was probably clear in Haru's head. Rin groped for the feeling behind those words. "Haru…are you jealous?"

"I don't get jealous."

 _Right_. "I got to ask you about Makoto. But you didn't…" He pressed his lips, his heart pounding at the way Haru was looking at him, the way Haru was touching him. "You think there's something between me and Sousuke? There isn't. There never was and never will be."

"I didn't ask, Rin."

He smiled. "Your eyes did."

"What are you smirking for?"

"You…being a little bit jealous for me." Rin lowered his voice. "I like it, Haru. It's nice payback."

Haru's eyes widened; Rin felt the breath catch in Haru's chest…and Haru's heart was beating fast like his own. Rin tightened his arms around Haru's torso, his gaze dropping to Haru's mouth.

Haru's thumb bumped the swell of Rin's lower lip—he wasn't sure if that was intentional or not, but he felt a shiver of pleasure…and Haru's unsteady exhale.

Haru withdrew his hands. "You should get up, Rin." There was a faint tremor in Haru's voice, like he wasn't at all as calm as his words implied.

He _should_ , but Rin didn't want to. He needed to and he would, but...the disappointment still stung. "Because you don't want to kiss me, Haru?"

"No. Because I really _do_ ," Haru said quietly and swallowed.

Rin let go, planting his hands to either side of Haru and backing off halfway. There, he hesitated. His head was whirling with reciprocated desire and he couldn't take his eyes off Haru's lips and flushed cheeks…nor could he forget the way it felt—Haru's heartbeat and Haru breathing against him— When he made a tentative move forward, Haru didn't move away—

There was a creak of footsteps just outside and they broke apart rapidly, Rin nearly tumbling off the bed. _Fuck!_ His face was boiling and he didn't know how the hell they were going to explain this—

The door across the hall opened and closed.

"Oh, _God_." Rin laid facedown on the bed and groaned, the jolt of fear tempering his lust. After a bit, he raised his head, resting his chin atop his arms.

Haru was back against the headboard, sitting cross-legged and catching his breath, still looking at the door. He hugged a pillow to his chest.

"Sorry," Rin muttered.

Haru glanced at him, brows lifted with surprise. "Why? It's not like I said no, Rin."

Rin inhaled in a slow, controlled manner; his passions had cooled but it wasn't like those feelings were gone. Not even close. He sighed. _Not that I want to be thinking about sex at all after the nurse's stupid lecture_. He dropped his eyes to rumpled sheets. "Na, Haru…" Warmth built in his face again. He flicked his gaze cautiously to his friend. "Have you ever…?" Rin blushed harder, unable to get the rest of the sentence out.

Haru flushed a delicate pink, apparently getting it. "No." His face clouded, his arms tightening around the pillow. "…You?"

"No," Rin said.

The tension vanished from the air between them as they both exhaled.

Rin relaxed against the blankets. _God_ , that was a load off. Not that it should have mattered… Ah, hell, who was he kidding? The envy alone would've killed him. But not having to worry about who was experienced or how he compared to others… It was a relief—comfortable, easy, and safe. _It's just us._ Rin kicked his feet up, crossing them at the ankles.

Haru's face had eased. He was open again, his eyes studying Rin with a measure of curiosity.

Rin cocked a brow. "What?"

"Nothing." Haru shrugged. "I just thought, in Australia… They gave us the one bed—"

"—I _told_ you that wasn't a thing, idiot. Just because it's a different country." Rin rolled his eyes. "What about _you_? You're in college."

"So? Even though other people were doesn't mean I wanted to."

" _Tch_. The way you flirt with me sometimes…"

"Because I only want to with you, Rin."

Rin stilled, his eyes flaring wide, his heart thudding in his chest. _Haru._ His breath, when he finally remembered the whole breathing thing, came out shaky. There was desire, but it was a lot more than that. Haru's words and soft blue gaze were invitations—not to the Rin who wanted to stand on an Olympic podium in front of the whole world, but to the Rin deep inside…the one he didn't show people. The Rin who had fears and uncertainties and was afraid to fail. Not even Sousuke knew that part of him. _But when you look at me, it's like you're looking at_ all _of me, and you're still saying shit like that. That you want to swim with me, that you want to be with me, that you want…us._ Rin pressed his lips. _And even though you have Makoto, I'm the one…_ Strong feelings swirled inside him in response, feelings he hadn't labeled, but—

Rin inhaled again, exhaling in a puff. "Haru, if I hug you right now is that a bad idea?"

Haru's eyes warmed. "No," he said, freeing one hand from the pillow and reaching out.

Rin grasped the offered fingers, pulling himself up as much as tugging Haru towards him. They sat hip-to-hip, arms wrapping around each other from the side. Rin didn't have any words. He rested his head on Haru's shoulder and closed his eyes.

Haru's fingers tangled into his hair again and Rin sighed, melting into the embrace.

"How's your headache, Rin?" Haru asked eventually.

 _I forgot about that…_ It was still there, a little bit. Rin shrugged. "Not bad." He drew back slightly, meeting the contented, happy look on Haru's face.

"Wanna get some fresh air before dinner?" Haru asked, his fingertips tucking errant strands of hair behind Rin's ears. " _We can walk outside_ ," he said in English.

" _Yeah_." Rin smiled. " _Good idea_."

* * *

Thursday, May 19th, 2016

* * *

"You missed a button, Haru."

"I did not."

" _Tch_." Rin turned from their reflection in the mirror, hooking a finger into the collar of Haru's dress shirt. "The top one, dummy."

"Stop being fussy." Haru batted his hand away. "I'll do it for the pictures, not for clinic."

Rin snorted, grabbing his red blazer from the closet and pulling it on. He fastened the gold buttons, completing the look, and grinned at the mirror. "All we need now is the hardware, Haru." _More gold, preferably._

"Mn." Haru slipped into his matching blazer, flicking the cuffs straight, his cool demeanor in perfect sync with the tailored, formal wear.

"You guys clean up well," Ikehara said, sitting on the edge of the bed as he tied his shoes.

_Fuck yeah we do._

Ikehara straightened, the red of his blazer echoing the coppery highlights in his black hair. "Ready to go?"

-x-

"…With that, Olympians, we'll close out our final training camp here," Coach Fujino said from the front of the conference room. He was wearing a formal black suit and a white dress shirt, but the same black, white, and red JOC tie as the Olympians. His staff, behind him, were also suited up in black. "Starting tomorrow, you are Team Japan—representing our nation here and across the globe, competing side-by-side with the world's greatest athletes."

Rin listened from his seat between Haru and Ikehara, feeling smug and trying not to grin like an idiot.

"I couldn't be more proud of you." Coach Fujino paused, smiling. "After the Japan Open, the next time we'll all be together is in São Paulo. I look forward to seeing all of you there…and we'll go on to Rio together."

There was a lump in Rin's throat—just a little one. He soaked in the words, inhaling. Haru glanced at him and he did not glance back. _Stop it, Haru._ His face heated. From the corner of his eye, he saw Haru's eyes warm.

"As for one last bit of business before we head out... On the subject of team captain, I'm pleased to announce Ikehara-kun has been selected."

The Olympians clapped, the sound filling the conference room.

Ikehara made a humming sound when the applause died down. "It should really be Sugiyama-senpai…"

Sugiyama, in the last row, was leaning back in his chair, his hands tucked into the pockets of his slacks. "Nah, you got it."

"Very well, I accept." Ikehara got to his feet and bowed. "It is an honor and a privilege. Thank you."

Coach Fujino clasped his hands behind him, rocking back on his heels and smiling broadly. "Well, then, Captain Ikehara, would you please lead your team to the press room?"

"Gladly." Ikehara straightened, smoothing the front of his blazer. "Olympians…" He gave the room an easy smile. " _Let's go._ "

Rin grinned as he got up, slinging an arm around Haru's shoulders as they left the room…

-x-

In two single-file lines, they entered the brightly lit press room, the seats filled with members of the media and cameras. Flashes were popping left and right as they made two tight rows in front of a giant banner with the JOC logo—the Japanese flag above the Olympic rings.

Rin and Haru were in the back row, to the side. They were standing close enough that the back of their hands brushed. Rin was blinded by all the lights, smiling broadly and bursting with pride.

"Hey." He nudged Haru with his left hand. "Smile a little."

"I'm trying." Blue eyes flicked his way, annoyed.

Rin chuckled, curling one of his fingers around one of Haru's. "Try harder."

"…OK." Haru captured Rin's hand instead, interlacing their fingers.

Rin's breath caught, heat creeping up the back of his neck. _Haru…_

From the corner of his eye, he saw Haru's face soften and his small, real smile… Haru was happy. Rin's eyes pricked with emotion. He gathered himself with a thick inhale and grinned as the flashes continued…


	11. Fly, free, and farewell

Friday, May 20th, 2016

* * *

They gathered in the lobby of the Athlete's Village, just after breakfast. Outside, two buses were parked beyond the entrance, waiting to transport Japan's National Swim Team to Day 1 of the Japan Open, at Tatsumi International Swimming Center. Rin was all suited up—he wore his Team Japan warmups over his official Team Japan leg skins. His swim caps were tucked into his gear bag. He was _ready_. Standing with his teammates—all of them in their matching red and white uniforms, representing Japan—it _felt_ like Rio. He couldn't wait to get in the water and compete.

 _So why the fuck do you keep yawning?_ He shot a glare at Haru beside him, who was rubbing his eyes.

Haru noticed after a moment, looking sleepy as he dropped his hand to his side. "What? It's not even 6 am."

"Yeah, that's why we went to bed _early_."

Blue eyes flicked to Rin askance. "I had trouble sleeping…"

... _alone_. Rin's face heated. _Just because we've been sneaking in naps every chance we get…_ " _Tch_." He looked away.

At the head of the gathering, Coach Fujino cleared his throat. "A few words, Olympians." He was dressed in Team Japan warmups, attended by his staff and Captain Ikehara. Fujino's disposition was sunny as usual. "Except for those races where you're qualifying for additional events in Rio, today is _not_ the day for all-out, world-ending effort." He paused, smiling warmly, and clasped his hands behind his back. "Listen to your body; see how your capacity had changed since the trials. You don't have to be the fastest you've ever been; you just have to be faster than the other swimmers." His gaze swept the Olympians. "Use the clock for you. Don't let it own you. Show your strengths, but don't show everything. Be like _ninja_. Keep your secret weapons hidden."

A rumble of laughter went through the team.

Captain Ikehara, standing on Fujino's right, coughed lightly, covering a smile. "That's pretty corny, Coach."

"I know." Fujino winced, smiling. "My kids tell me that, too." He rocked back on his heels. "Alright, Olympians, have fun out there. Remember, this is your send off. So enjoy it."

A pang tempered Rin's eagerness as they all headed outside into the cloudy morning to board the buses. He followed Haru, his friend's glossy, black hair at eye level. _When this comp's over, you're leaving for Norway._ Two months was a long fucking time. It didn't used to be, but… _What am I going to do when I can't hug you every day?_

They climbed onto the first bus, taking a seat near the back and stowing their gear bags on the rack above. It was a tour bus with cushy, padded seats, two to a side.

Haru took the window seat. As soon as they were settled and the bus began to move, turning out onto the street, he closed his eyes and leaned against Rin's shoulder. "Wake me up when there's water."

"…Ah." Rin turned his head, his cheek brushing the softness of Haru's hair. He inhaled discreetly, taking in the familiar scent of Haru and chlorine, as if he could memorize it. As Rin gazed out the window, not really looking at the city flashing by, he slipped his hand between the seats, meeting Haru's against the cushions. Rin wove their fingers together and sighed, squeezing gently.

Haru squeezed back.

-x-

Tatsumi was _packed_ with swimmers, trainers, and officials, more so than during the Olympic Trials. In addition to the various Japanese clubs competing, Rin saw swimmers from India, Sri Lanka, Mongolia, Hong Kong, Taiwan…and, of course, the Australians in green and gold. Rin and Haru stashed their gear and headed out for warm ups in their swimsuits and caps with goggles slung around their necks. The main pool was crowded with competitors circle swimming…running into each other's feet, passing, getting bunched up at either end of the pool. Rin doubted the 25m warmup pool downstairs was any better.

"Nn." Haru was frowning.

"It's only gonna be worse in Rio," Rin said. "Come on."

They made their way towards the blocks. While Haru decided on a lane, Rin scanned the other swimmers, looking for familiar faces in yellow caps with green lettering…

" _Hey, Rin!_ "

He spun, searching the crowd until he spotted the waving hand. "Ty!" He grinned, tapping Haru's shoulder and heading over.

They caught up behind the blocks of lane four, Rin and the lanky Australian in black jammers with ice blue eyes and pale blond eyebrows.

" _Hey, good to see you_ ," Rin said in English as they shook hands. " _Congratulations!_ "

" _Thanks! You too_." The guy grinned, flashing perfectly straight teeth. " _Four events, right? That's fantastic. And you're up for number five tonight, yeah?_ "

" _Yeah, the two hundred free. Barely missed it last time_."

" _I heard. Heartbreaker_."

Haru joined them, glancing between Rin and the taller Australian.

"Haru." Rin switched back to Japanese. "This is Ty. We swam for the same club in Sydney."

Haru stepped forward, surprising Rin, and extended his hand. _"Nice to meet you. My name is Haruka Nanase."_

 _Haru_. Flush with pride, Rin fought the urge to grin like an idiot.

" _I only swim free_."

Ty laughed as they shook, glancing aside to Rin. " _This_ is _the guy you told me about_."

Haru's eyes flicked to Rin.

Rin's face heated.

" _Pleased to meet you, Haruka._ " Ty smiled broadly. " _Ty Bingham. I swim everything, but it's IM and free, mostly_."

Haru nodded.

" _As for the rest of the crew, Dillon over here's fly_." Ty pointed and a guy in black leg skins paused his stretching to wave. " _Dave's back. Tristan's breast, wherever the hell he went_." Ty shrugged. " _Ethan's our sprinter and team captain._ " Ty raised his voice." _Hey Ethan_ —"

"Ethan McInnes," Rin said to Haru. "Rio's his—"

"—third Olympics," Haru said. "I know, Rin."

Rin cocked a brow. "Since when do you…"

"What?" Haru shrugged. "If I'm gonna care about times and stuff, I should be familiar with the competition, right?"

Rin smiled.

Ethan joined them, his ash-blond hair dripping wet and askew. The guy was several centimeters taller than Rin, wearing marine-blue jammers with his yellow swim cap tucked into the waist band. " _Ty, you're slacking off again? I told you to get in the pool._ "

" _Ethan, you remember Rin Matsuoka_."

Brown eyes fastened on Rin with a spark of recognition. " _Yeah. Good to see you, Rin_." Ethan gripped his hand in a firm handshake. " _We swam together a couple times_."

" _Yeah, back in Sydney_ ," Rin said. " _Good to see you. This is_ —"

" _Haruka Nanase_." Haru extended his hand.

" _Ethan McInnes. Hey, congrats on the national record, both of you. In the fifty free, right_?"

" _That's right_." Rin grinned.

" _Guess that'll be the time to beat. Should be fun_ ," Ethan said.

" _We're looking forward to it,_ " Rin said and Haru nodded.

" _Fantastic. Well, we'd better get cracking, yeah_?" They parted with a wave.

Rin slung an arm around Haru's shoulders as they turned away. "Haru, you rocked that."

Haru was quiet. By the look on his face, he was puzzling through something.

"Haru?"

" _Cracking_ ," Haru said. "Like an egg? I don't get it."

Rin chuckled. " _Cracking_ , like… 'Get to it.' English is hard enough, right? Without the sayings, too. Then throw in Australians having their own words for stuff. Like swimsuits are sometimes called _cossies_ and our warmups are _trackies_."

Haru hummed. "What's _mackerel?_ "

"Still _mackerel_." Rin gave Haru's shoulders a squeeze. "You'd be fine."

"Hm."

-x-

Rin's program for the morning was two prelims—the 200m fly and the 200m free. The women's prelims for the 200m fly were up first; Rin watched from the waiting area as they cycled through the heats—each heat lining up behind the blocks prior to the finish of the previous race. There were only a few people watching from the stands—mostly other swimmers and their teammates.

It was one thing for Coach Fujino to suggest he take it easy, especially when the 200m free was the race that mattered, _but_. Kawamura was relaxing nearby in his warmups, listening to music. Rin folded his arms, taking a few deep breaths and centering himself. _I hate that someone like you is faster than me._

Across the room, Dillon Lee, from Australia, was stretching. He had top seed and would swim in the seventh heat. His warmup jacket was a bright goldish yellow—the color reminding Rin of Gou's Iwatobi T-shirt—with green accents that matched his green pants. Rin didn't really know the guy. They'd swam together in a couple of competitions over the years; Dillon was from a club in Queensland.

The men's prelims for the 200m fly directly followed the women's races. Seven heats, sixty two swimmers. It was ten swimmers per lane, except for the first heat of three. Rin was in the fifth heat. The stadium was relatively quiet through the first four heats—mostly the sound of the water and a modest amount of cheering. Rin shucked off his warmups, joining the lineup while the fourth heat raced down the length of the pool. He pressed his goggles into place, donning his Team Japan swim cap over his usual one and making sure everything was secure.

When the fourth heat was on their last fifty meters, Rin walked out in line with the rest of his heat, standing well behind the blocks as the race finished. His teammates in red and white were easy to spot on the right side of the arena, clustered near the rail in the seats closest to the stairs. Haru was there beside Mikoshiba and Momo. Just seeing him loosened Rin up a little. He exhaled as the buzzer sounded, ending the fourth heat.

A blast of music played briefly over the speakers, then the fifth heat was announced.

Rin stepped up to the block on lane four.

"Matsuoka-kun!" "Rin-senpai!" The Mikoshiba brothers were loudest, but it was a chorus of voices cheering him on.

 _You guys._ Rin adjusted the start block, buoyed by their regard, but by Haru's presence most of all. At the four pulse whistle, he set one foot on the block, giving his shoulders a shake. At the long whistle, he stepped up and bent into position.

" _Take your marks._ "

Rin tensed in the quiet stadium. At the start signal, he leapt forward, piercing the sparkling water. When he surfaced, his team was cheering—a steady chant led by one of the girls. Rin powered down the pool and back for the first hundred meters. At the turn—

" _The leader is in lane four, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan_ —"

He didn't hear the time, but— _Team Japan_ —fuck, that felt good. Rin couldn't help turning it up a little even though he was supposed to hold back…

At the end of two hundred meters, Rin slapped the wall in first place, well ahead of his competitors.

"Matsuoka!"

Pulling his goggles down to his throat, he glanced at the board—1:56.76. It wasn't anywhere near his best time, but it was a respectable effort and put him in first place overall for now.

Rin swam to the side, getting out as the sixth heat—including Kawamura—took the blocks. He went back to the waiting area, toweling off and donning his warmups. The ready room was crowded with the women waiting to swim the 200m free next, including all four members of the Team Japan 4x200m relay team.

"Matsuoka, nice work," Takara said, her goggles perched on her forehead, below her swim cap. Her Team Japan kneeskins were black with white and lavender, with JAPAN on the left thigh and the flag on her left shoulder.

Rin paused at the lack of sarcasm in her voice. She just seemed focused. "Thanks," he said, hanging his towel around his neck. "Good luck, ladies." He nodded at Takara and the others, ducking out of the room.

"Rin." Haru met him in the hall, a sports drink in hand. "Thirsty?"

"Yeah, thanks." Rin took the offered can, capturing Haru in a one-armed hug that was way too brief, but there were only a zillion people milling around, so…

"You don't wanna watch the rest?" Haru asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket.

"Nah. I don't wanna get riled up." Rin popped the tab on the can and took a long drink. "I'd rather be here…" _with you._

Haru's eyes warmed. They found a spot to lean against the wall, listening to the cheering in the background as Rin continued working on his drink.

A display screen in the hall scrolled with the overall results at the end of all seven heats.

"Looks like you set the pace, Rin," Haru said.

"Ah…" He glanced at the board, lowering his half-full can. Kawamura was third with a time of 1:57.10 while Dillon Lee had taken second at 1:56.94. He didn't know much about Dillon's usual times, but Kawamura was holding back. Rin rolled his shoulders, sighing in an attempt to keep the agitation at bay. No point stressing about it—his performance in this race was not important. _Gotta keep remembering that._

He lifted the sports drink again but paused, noting that Haru didn't have anything with him. "Want some?"

"Sure." Haru took the can and drank briefly before passing it back. "Thanks."

Rin finished the rest and chucked the empty can into the appropriate bin. As the women's 200m free heats got underway, the competitors for the men's race gathered.

" _Hey, that was some nice fly, Rin,_ " Ty said, he and Ethan joining them in Australian green and gold.

" _Thanks_ ," Rin said, accepting the slap on the back from his former teammate.

" _What's the time you need in the free?_ "

" _One forty-six, ten_." The time that was burned into his memory.

Ty gave a low whistle. " _Harsh_."

_Yeah, trying missing it by .04 seconds sometime…_

" _Sounds like a good challenge_ ," Ethan said, stretching his long arms over his head.

Ty grinned. " _Looks like it'll be you and me, Haruka_."

There was a look of concentration on Haru's face as he processed the English. " _Yes_ ," he said.

Haru had top seed and would be swimming with Ty in the final (8th) heat. Ethan had seeded into the 6th heat, along with Mikoshiba. The way it worked out, Rin would be swimming in the 7th heat, in lane four, with Sugiyama in lane three. It would be Rin's first time seeing the guy swim in an actual competition. Sugiyama's times in the 200m free were good—Rin had seen enough in relay practice to respect the guy's ability. That said, _the last time we swam against each other seriously…_ There was still a bitter taste in Rin's mouth from that.

Sugiyama arrived on the edge of the milling group in his Team Japan warmups. His eyes sharpened with recognition and he plucked wireless ear buds from his ears, coming over. " _Ethan, good to see you again_ ," Sugiyama said, extending his hand, though his face didn't change from his normal cool, detached expression. His English was good, without much of an accent.

" _Noboru! Good to see ya!_ " Ethan grinned and the two men shook hands. " _Still stuck up as ever, I see_."

Sugiyama's lips pursed. " _Well, you haven't changed_."

Ethan laughed. " _I heard you're only swimming relay this time around? What a waste_."

The guy shrugged. " _We'll see_."

The blithe, non-committal response left Rin hot with irritation. _Is that how it is? Swimming against us is beneath you, but here… Out here with the 'real' competition…_ A small voice in the back of his head wanted to remind him that he was being hypocritical. He'd left Japan to train in Australia. _But I'm not being an ass about it and only deciding now that I want to compete in other events—_

A sudden realization flooded Rin with cold. The 200m free. There was one spot up for grabs—the one he wanted, the one he'd claimed the moment he knew he'd get a second shot at it. Rin tensed up, though he worked to keep his hands loose at his sides, keep it from showing on his face. _The slot is mine. I'm not letting you have it._

Haru touched his arm. "Rin, wanna go check in?"

He met Haru's gaze, the calm, unruffled look that said, _You don't need to do that, Rin._

Rin relented. "…Yeah."

They slipped away from the others, joining the growing line of competitors waiting for check in and inspection with the clerk of course.

Rin stood behind his friend in line, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. He stared at the JAPAN on the back of Haru's jacket. "Haru…"

"You'll swim better if you're relaxed, Rin."

He exhaled. "You think so?"

Haru glanced back over his shoulder and nodded.

 _I wouldn't know. I'm never…relaxed. Unless I'm with you._ Weight pressed upon his shoulders. _And you're leaving. On Tuesday._

It must've been showing on his face again, because Haru's expression sobered. "I'm just glad we're swimming together. Maybe it's selfish of me, to want you to enjoy it too." Haru twisted forward once more. "I guess it is. If you'd rather be irritated, that's your choice—"

 _Haru._ Heat gathered in Rin's throat. He snaked an arm around his friend from behind, capturing Haru in a half-headlock, half-embrace, mindful of the fact that couldn't be less alone. _If it was just us, nothing would stop me from tackling you right now._ "Haru, shut up already." Rin controlled his voice as best he could, holding the emotion at bay.

But the way Haru smiled with his eyes, some of it must've bled through.

-x-

Rin stood behind the block on lane four in his leg skins, waiting for the 6th heat to finish. Ethan, the veteran Australian sprinter, occupied the lane, his 100m split right at 52 seconds. Mikoshiba was in lane three, a length behind. As the swimmers completed the flip turn for the final fifty meters, Rin pressed his goggles into place and made sure all the straps were covered by his Team Japan swim cap.

"Nii-chan!" Momo was yelling from the stands, hopping in place against the rail. Captain Ikehara was next to him, supervising.

Ethan led the heat to the finish, his smooth, powerful freestyle familiar to Rin from previous competitions in Australia. If he could get over this stupid rivalry with Sugiyama and forget about the pressure of the clock, he'd be looking forward to swimming against Ethan in the final. _Yeah, you won every race back in Sydney. But you're up against me and Haru, this time._

Rin swung him arms, keeping loose as the heat finished and the times flashed up on the clock. Ethan's time was 1:46.30. Rin grinned. Yeah, the final was going to be a good race. Mikoshiba finished just under 1:48.

The 6th heat competitors swam to the side and climbed out of the pool, heading back towards the ready room as the announcer called the 7th heat.

Ethan flashed Rin a smile as he passed. " _G'luck, mate_."

" _Thanks_." Rin grinned back.

He stepped up to the block at the whistle, to a smattering of people calling out his name and Sugiyama's. From the corner of his eye, he saw Haru watching from the ready room entrance, just beyond the edge of the pool deck, in his warmups and swim cap with his goggles perched on his forehead. Knowing Haru would be swimming right after him in the same lane was a pretty good feeling. Not as great as a relay, but almost. _Watch me, Haru._

He ignored Sugiyama in the lane on his right as he climbed onto the block and took his position for the start.

" _Take your marks._ "

The stadium hushed—

Rin sprung forward at the buzzer, diving into the cool, still water… Beneath the surface, streamlined dolphin kicks had him surging forward to just shy of the fifteen meter mark. Rin broke the surface to the sound of his teammates cheering, pacing himself so he wouldn't tire too early. Sugiyama, on his right, and the swimmer in lane five on his left both matched him, stroke for stroke. After the first turn, Sugiyama started to pull ahead. Rin refused to be baited, holding back and conserving for the sprint… Sugiyama was a half a length in front of him going into the turn at one hundred meters, the announcer calling him in the lead. The fifth lane swimmer was ahead by a slimmer margin. Rin flipped at the wall and pushed off with everything left to give. He built his speed steadily, overtaking first the swimmer in lane five and then gaining on Sugiyama. They hit the wall for the final turn at the same time, the deafening cheers of the crowds going muffled as he submerged. At fifteen meters, Rin surfaced in an all-out sprint, knowing that Haru would be waiting for him at the finish line. He charged forward, leaving Sugiyama and the rest of the swimmers behind as he stretched for the wall—

Rin thrust his hands against the wall and popped up to excited screaming. Raking off his cap and goggles, he turned for a glimpse of the board. 1:46.08. _Yes!_ He slammed his fist into the water as the other swimmers finished around him. And he wasn't even breathing as hard as he should've been. Taper was paying off. _You were right, Haru._

He swam to the side and climbed out, eager to see the look on Haru's face—

Even through tinted goggles, Rin could see the excitement in Haru's eyes and he felt a thrill in response, like he could _live_ off the happiness Haru wore. –The look that was just for him. God, he wanted to hug Haru. But he had to settle for a shared warm look as they passed. To Haru's left, Ty was grinning, giving him a thumb's up.

Rin was on cloud nine when he got back to the ready room. He grabbed a towel, standing just off the pool deck as he dried off, watching Haru climb onto the lane four block at the whistle. Ty was in lane five.

" _Take your marks_."

The overhead lighting glistened off slick skin as Haru dove in at the start signal, sliding effortlessly into the water. _I never get tired of watching you swim._ Rin draped the towel around the back of his neck. _Just like I never get enough of swimming with you_. _Or…_ His face heated. _Touching you…holding you…napping with you…_ Rin bit down on his lower lip, forcing his attention back to the race—

Haru and Ty were leading the pack into the first turn. Steady cheering followed them, along with shouts of "Nanase-senpai!" and "Haruka!" Coming up on 100m, the two were trading the lead back and forth. At the wall, the split went to Ty, just under 52 seconds. He started to pull away as they headed towards the final turn, but Rin watched, breathless, as Haru built his speed—smooth and effortless, claiming the wall for the last flip turn and racing towards the finish— Ty had come up to a full-speed sprint, but even his raw, powerful strokes couldn't catch Haru.

Haru slapped the wall sub 1:46 to loud screaming from the crowds. _And these aren't even the finals._ The official time flashed up as 1:45.94 and Haru was studying the board with raised brows like he wasn't sure the time was right. And the way he was breathing, Rin knew Haru could do it all again.

Rin waited, impatient, as Haru climbed out of the pool, exchanging a handshake with Ty as the 8th heat swimmers filtered back towards the ready room. He pressed himself to one side of the entrance, making room, the anticipation building in his chest as Haru walked towards him. Haru, being his usual cool self, pulled off his cap and goggles as he approached, flinging the water from his hair.

Rin had him the second Haru was within reach, a crush of arms around Haru's damp torso. Haru was hugging him back and it felt so damn good, though it wasn't nearly _enough_. _If there wasn't a shit-ton of people here, I'd kiss you on the mouth right now…_ He forced himself to draw back, but it was _really fucking hard_ to let go.

Haru's blue eyes were warm as they parted, an expression that Rin soaked in.

"Rin…one, two," Haru said, the words themselves simple and not especially earth-shattering. But the way Haru said it, the way he smiled faintly, and the look in his eyes…

It stole Rin's breath and made him forget everything. _Haru_. He wanted to run his fingers through Haru's wet hair, wanted to kiss Haru's damp lips until they reddened… Rin swallowed hard and stepped back, trying to maintain some reasonable amount of self-control.

Haru's gaze flicked over him, studying, reading… Then Haru's eyes glittered, leaving Rin no doubt at all that Haru could guess what he was thinking.

Rin's cheeks started to burn. He looked away as footsteps approached—the first heat of the women's 100m backstroke. The eight women walked out in line, passing them.

He cleared his throat. "We should, uh…"

"Yeah."

After rinsing off and donning their warmups, they headed for the stands, joining Mikoshiba, Takara, and the rest of the team, watching Momo finish first in the heats for the men's 100m backstroke and Captain Ikehara clean up in the men's 100m breaststroke.

They broke for lunch afterwards, in small groups, leaving Tatsumi for the sunshine and mild temperatures outside.

" _Hey, Rin! Haruka!_ " Ty was waving from the bottom of the concrete steps, with half of the Australian contingent. " _Wanna grab a feed with us?_ "

Rin smiled, glancing aside at Haru. "You up for this?"

Haru, beside him, took a deep breath. "Yeah, let's go." His lips pursed. "Do you think they eat _saba_?"

They ended up at a place Rin and Haru had frequented during the Olympic trials. The athletes squeezed around a narrow wooden table, sharing menus.

" _The mackerel with miso is good here_ ," Haru said to the Australian on his right. Her damp blond hair was pulled back into a smooth ponytail; she peered at the pictures on the Japanese menu.

" _I'm keen on miso_ ," she said. " _But that's soup, right_?"

" _Miso can be used in many different ways_ ," Haru said. " _It's made from fermented soybeans_."

The guy on Haru's left leaned over, pointing at a different picture on the menu. " _What's this one_?"

" _Saba shio. It's salted mackerel. That is my favorite_."

Rin, seated across from Haru at the table, watched with pride welling up in his chest, a glass of water in hand. _Haru, I always knew you could do this if you wanted to._

Ty tapped Rin on the shoulder. " _Rin, what do you recommend here that's not mackerel?_ "

Rin tore his gaze away, turning his attention to the menu. " _If you want meat, I suggest…_ "

-x-

Events that evening started with the B-finals for the morning's races. Rin and Haru split their time between cheering with their team and the warmup pool. The stands were fuller now, with other spectators filtering in as time went on. From the second row, they were watching Mikoshiba in the men's 1500m freestyle timed finals when Rin's phone buzzed in the pocket of his warmup jacket.

He leaned back in his seat and pulled the phone free, glancing at the text message. "Gou says their plane just landed."

Haru started to reply, but his phone buzzed too. He looked at it. "Makoto says the same thing. He thinks they'll be here in an hour."

Rin nodded, tapping out a quick reply. _[See you when you get here. I should be done swimming by then. Sousuke and Makoto are there to pick you guys up.]_

Gou texted back. _[Yup, I know. I've been texting them already.]_

Rin sighed.

Haru cocked a brow; Rin showed him the text. "You should resign yourself to the fact that Gou spends most of her time with guys, Rin. It's not a new thing."

Rin scowled. "You are not helping."

Haru just shrugged.

-x-

At the specified time, Rin joined the other competitors for the men's final of the 200m butterfly. There were ten swimmers—eight from Japanese clubs and two from the invited nations—Dillon from the Australian team and a competitor from Taiwan. Rin had top seed for the race, lining up between Dillon and Kawamura. With a blast of music and swinging, multi-colored lights, they walked out through the archway, the announcer listing off their names as the crowd cheered.

"… _In lane three, Kawamura Ryouta, Team Japan. In lane four, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan. In lane five, Dillon Lee, Team Australia. In lane six_ …"

Rin stripped off his warmups behind the blocks, shoving them into the provided bin. He splashed water on himself from the bucket and adjusted his goggles and swim cap. The 200m free, the race that _mattered_ , would be held in less than twenty minutes. Tactically, he in no way wanted to concede or lose this race. Strategically though… _Let's just call this a warmup._

Haru was watching from the stands; Rin felt his calm gaze as the whistle blew and he approached the block…

Rin claimed bronze with a time of 1:54.15—a personal best that he wasn't disappointed in at all. Kawamura clocked in for silver at 1:53.98 while Dillon took gold.

Rin climbed out of the pool, drying off and spouting the usual lines for the post-race interview. He threw on a smile for the podium, giving a thrilled look to the camera for the bronze medal he'd settled for.

"Even phoning it in, you're not bad," Takara said when he got back to the ready room. She was smoothing a crease out of her swim cap.

Rin answered the venomous compliment with a smile. "Thanks. I thought the same thing, watching your 800 free."

Takara's face darkened, her voice sharpening. "No point wasting effort where it doesn't count." She'd gotten 4th place in the 800m free timed finals earlier.

"I couldn't agree more," Rin said, answering in cool tones. "Good luck out there."

Green eyes flicked over his face, as if to ascertain if he meant that or not.

He did. Both slots in the women's 200m free were up for grabs. Though he'd never heard Takara outright say she was going for it, he knew she was. _For once, I can empathize._

She exhaled, settling her goggles over her eyes. "Thanks," she muttered, like it pained her to get the syllables out. "You too."

Rin left the room as the women lined up for their race. At the check-in station, he caught up with the other finalists for the men's 200m free.

Haru met him with a warm, amused look. He reached out, grasping the bronze medal that hung from Rin's neck and studying it briefly. "It's the first time for this color," he said.

" _Tch_ , Haru." Rin snorted. "It's still on the podium."

Haru smiled with his eyes and they went to check in.

-x-

The women's qualifying time for the individual 200m free was 1:56.82, a crushing two seconds under the qualifying time for the 4x200m freestyle relay. Five women from Team Japan had made it to the final, including all four members of the women's relay team. Rin watched on the screen in the ready room as Takara stepped up to the block on lane five, to shouts of her name and her teammates'. An Australian was top seed in lane four.

The ten swimmers mounted the starting blocks, tensing for the buzzer—

"She's not relaxed," Haru murmured.

Rin glanced at him, but Haru didn't elaborate.

Takara's form was damn near perfect. If she was stiff, Rin couldn't tell. She surfaced from her dolphin kicks at a good pace, trading the lead with the Australian on her right.

"Her best time's one fifty-seven something?" Rin asked.

"Yeah," Haru said.

The two women hit the wall for the first turn at virtually the same time, then Takara began to pull ahead. She led the pack by a sliver at the 100m split.

The announcer's voice came on as the women flipped into the second turn. " _The leader is in lane 5, Sakamoto Takara, Team Japan, at 57.57._ "

Rin watched Takara accelerate into the third and final turn, leading by more than a stroke. She came up charging through the last fifty meters. He forgot about their rivalry as the clock ticked up and the swimmers neared the finish, holding his breath and silently pulling for a fellow athlete—

"Sakamoto!" "Taka-chan!" Their teammates in the stands were shouting.

Rin felt it in his gut as Takara hit the wall and her time flashed up: 1:56.99. She'd taken first place, a half second ahead of the Australian beside her and the rest of the finalists. On the screen, Takara's face crumpled with anger and frustration; Rin looked away, feeling an echo of her pain.

Takara managed to pull it together graciously for the interviews and the podium after, but her eyes were swimming with fire when she got back to the ready room in her warmups, her long black hair loose and wet, the gold medal gleaming against her chest.

Rin didn't say anything and neither did Mikoshiba, who was standing nearby with his arms folded over his warmups, his face shuttered.

But Haru stepped forward. "Takara."

Rin inhaled. _Haru, what the fuck are you doing?_

Takara's eyes flashed rage at Haru. "Like I want any fucking sympathy from you, Haruka."

Haru, unfazed, lifted his brows. "You looked good in the water."

_Haru, she's gonna punch you in the face—_

Takara stilled and for a second, Rin really thought he might have to intervene— But her breath came out in a puff and she scowled. "You and your stupid water fetish." She flung her arms around Haru's shoulders, squeezing briefly. Haru accepted but didn't return the embrace. Then she pulled away, her face easing a little. Her eyes flicked to Rin. "I expect you guys to clean up out there, Matsuoka."

Rin released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "That's the plan."

"Good." Takara walked off, following the rest of her teammates from the ready room.

Rin pursed his lips, looking at Haru.

"What?" Haru asked. "She needed that." Blue eyes softened into a gentle look like, _you don't need to be jealous, Rin_.

"Hmph." Rin snorted, looking away. _I'm not._

The announcer came on over the speakers. " _Next up, event twenty-two, men's two hundred meter freestyle, final._ "

As everyone moved towards the lineup, Haru caught his hand, holding him back…

Rin glanced over, meeting Haru's gaze and a very clear flick of blue eyes towards his lips. His breath caught.

"Race me, Rin," Haru murmured, the words full of warmth and tease and promise.

 _Fuck, Haru_. Rin's exhale trailed over his teeth. He grinned, draping his arm across Haru's shoulders as they headed for their place in line.

-x-

The ten of them walked out in their warmups to loud music and the announcer's voice. "… _In lane two, Mikoshiba Seijuurou, Team Japan_ —"

"Sei-chan!"

Rin lifted his brows at the sound of Nagisa's voice. _You guys got in early._

"— _In lane three, Ethan McInnes, Team Australia. In lane four, Nanase Haruka, Team Japan_ —"

"Haru-chan!" "Haruka-senpai!" "Nanase-senpai!"

"— _In lane five, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan_ —"

"Rin-senpai!" That was Nitori's voice. "Rin-chan!" "Onii-chan!"

Rin grinned to himself as he stopped behind the block on lane five and peeled off his warmups.

"— _In lane six, Ty Bingham, Team Australia. In lane seven, Sugiyama Noboru, Team Japan. In lane eight_ …"

He glanced at the stands as he settled his goggles into place, seeing his sister and Nagisa hanging over the rail and waving. Nitori was also on his feet. With them were Sousuke, Makoto, Rei, and Gou's friend, Hanamura Chigusa.

Rin smiled. He adjusted the block and stood back, circling his arms to stay loose and warm.

The shouting continued, the watching members of Team Japan joining in and Rin exchanged grins with his former teammate, Ty, noting a quick exchange between Haru and Ethan on his right, though not hearing what was said over the din of cheering. The whistle pierced the air, sending the competitors to the blocks. Rin felt good as he climbed up onto the lane five block, relaxed and ready. The nerves he should've felt weren't there. _Because I'm surrounded by my friends._ He felt Haru's gaze and glanced over, meeting the warm, charged look in blue eyes. _Haru._ A thrill went through him and he placed his feet, bending into position.

" _Take your marks_."

Rin tensed for the start…and flew at the buzzer. The noise of the crowd vanished beneath the surface of the pool as Rin dolphin-kicked forward, sensing Haru on his right and Ty on his left. Haru took the lead underwater, his movements streamlined and smooth. He surfaced first; Rin followed, catching up. They settled into their usual pace for the first fifty, conserving their energy. Ty was testing him on the left, little surges forward to take the lead, baiting him to charge in and follow, but Rin held back, waiting… He wondered if Ethan was doing the same on Haru's right.

Rin and Haru hit the turn in unison, flipping and kicking off the wall. Rin set the pace for the second fifty, Haru trailing him by half a stroke, Ty by two. Into the second turn, he heard _Australia_ instead of _Japan_ , though not the time—Ethan was leading. Haru came off the wall strong for the third fifty and Rin built up to his sprint… Then, they were racing all-out—him and Haru—battling stroke for stroke into the final turn… He lost Ty as they flip turned, dolphin-kicking with precise, powerful motions and breaking the surface for the last thirty-five meters…

Haru got faster and faster with each stroke; Rin surged forward, overtaking his friend and then falling behind repeatedly as Haru's speed increased. And he _loved_ it, his entire body humming with the thrill of swimming with Haru, competing with Haru, aiming for Haru. _You've always been more incredible than me. I've always looked up to you. And you're here. You're here—_

Rin didn't breathe for the final fifteen meters, pulling out everything he had left and charging after Haru, into the wall—

He hit and popped up, lungs burning, muscles screaming. The stadium was filled with excitement, cheering, voices overlapping. Rin yanked his goggles down to his throat, turning and swimming towards the lane line at the same time Haru was coming towards him. They gripped hands over the line and Rin finally lifted his eyes to the board…

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – NANASE Haruka – JPN – 1:45.57

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – MATSUOKA Rin – JPN – 1:45.70

3 – Heat 1, Lane 3 – McINNES Ethan – AUS – 1:45.72

" _Yes!_ " He'd done it! Rin launched himself over the lane line and tackled his friend.

Haru lost his grip on the line and they both went under—

Rin embraced Haru beneath the surface, his arms winding around Haru's neck, his lips finding Haru's—

He popped up with a fist pumped skyward in triumph, finally catching his breath.

" _Rin, nice race_ ," Ethan said from lane three.

" _Thanks! You too!_ " They grabbed hands briefly over the line.

" _Rin!_ " Ty swam over, laughing and joining them in lane four. " _What the fuck! I've never seen you swim like that!_ "

Rin grinned from ear to ear. " _I told you, right_?" He slipped his arm around Haru's shoulders, still bobbing in the water. _There's nothing else like it—swimming with Haru._

A shadow fell over them from the blocks. "Matsuoka, Nanase, let's go," Mikoshiba said in his captain's voice, looking stern with a hand perched on his hip, but his eyes were alight with excitement.

Ty laughed. " _Better not get our arses DQ'd, eh_?" He swam for the side of the pool with Ethan.

Rin followed, climbing out. Haru trailed behind, getting out last and that uncharacteristic hesitation on Haru's part made Rin pause and glance back… Haru's face glowed from more than just exertion, his eyes warm with quiet pleasure.

Rin's eyes widened. _Oh fuck, I just…_ His face heated. "Haru, that's doesn't count. That's not one of the five."

Haru cocked a brow, his eyes dancing with amusement, water rolling from his swim cap down the curves of his face. "You're saying that was an accident? Because it felt pretty intentional to me, Rin."

_Damnit, Haru—_

Haru smiled, his gaze flicking to something behind Rin. He took hold of Rin's arm, steering him around— "Let's go, Rin. They want to interview us."

_Oh great…_

Haru had the first interview in front of the sponsors' wall while Rin waited, watching from the side.

"Nanase-kun, congratulations on another personal best. What can you tell us about tonight's race?"

Haru leaned towards the microphone, the goggles dangling from his neck. "It's one of my last races before leaving. I wanted it to mean something and I wanted it to be a race I wouldn't forget."

The words drained the life out of Rin's body. The race was so good, _I forgot. I forgot we only have two more races like this before you leave…_

The reporter, dressed in a business suit, nodded as she took back the microphone. "And was it everything you hoped?"

When Haru spoke again, his voice was softer. "Yeah," he said. "And more."

 _Haru_. Emotion caught in Rin's throat, hot and suffocating. _God, how the fuck am I supposed to do this?_ _I thought I'd be fine. Just two months. I'm supposed to be the one prepared to do this, it's supposed to be easy for me—_

"Thank you, Nanase-kun. Congratulations."

"Thanks." Haru stepped down from the wall. His eyes widened with a trace of alarm. "Rin?"

 _Oh fuck._ Rin drew a thick breath, trying in vain to compose himself. He stripped off his swim cap, running his fingers through damp strands of hair, stalling for precious seconds so he could _get it the fuck together_. But it was still too soon when he was standing in front of the sponsors' wall with the camera in his face.

The reporter offered a sympathetic smile. "Matsuoka-kun, the last time you stood here after this event, you'd missed the Rio qualifying time by less than a tenth of a second. How does it feel to blow that time out of the water today?"

 _Talk about a softball question._ He wasn't about to complain. "Obviously, it's an overwhelming feeling. Redemption, revenge…I'm not even sure what to call it. This race was really important to me for a lot of reasons. I don't take it for granted." _Anytime I get to race you, Haru. Especially now._

"Are you excited for the chance to compete internationally prior to Rio?"

Rin managed a smile. "Of course. It's going to be great, getting more experience on an international level." He hoped that line was convincing enough. "Then again, tonight was also special—Ty's a former teammate of mine and Ethan and I have raced before in Australia. It was a great opportunity all around. Beating the clock was the goal, but there's no better feeling than getting to race with people I care about." _Fuck, did I just say that on national TV?_ He kept smiling— _nothing to do now but own it._

The reporter nodded in apparent approval. "Congratulations, Matsuoka-kun."

"Thanks." He stepped down as quickly as he could without it being weird.

Returning to the blocks, he grabbed a towel and dried off before donning his warmups and joining Haru and Ethan on the podium. He accepted silver to Haru's gold and the three of them posed for pictures. Rin gripped his medal in one hand, giving the cameras a better view and keeping it together, barely.

When the camera operator motioned for a picture of just the two of them, Rin unashamedly choked back tears with his free arm thrown across Haru's shoulders. Haru's arm was tight around his waist.

"Rin-chan, you can do it!"

 _Damnit, Nagisa_. As soon as they were done, Rin scrubbed one hand over his face, sniffing hard.

"Rin-senpai!" "Haruka-senpai!"

Haru lifted one hand in a wave to the stands. With the other, he grabbed Rin's hand and tugged.

Rin clung to Haru's fingers, even though his face was burning, and let Haru lead.

-x-

After a quick rinse off, they grabbed their stuff and left the locker room. Ty tagged along as they headed up into the stands.

"Onii-chan!" "Rin-senpai!"

Rin barely got his feet planted before Gou and Nitori barreled into him with hugs, nearly knocking him over.

" _Oi!_ " He peeled them off, one at a time. Gou and Nitori were both wearing white T-shirts that said, _Go Team Japan!_ in large red letters, with a small Japanese flag on the upper left. Gou wore hers with a gray hoodie and leggings while Nitori wore a teal sweatshirt and skinny jeans.

"Haru-chan!"

Haru grunted as he got an armful of Nagisa.

"Careful, you guys," Makoto said, smiling. He also wore one of the T-shirts, beneath a red flannel shirt.

"Seriously, what's with the shirts?" Rin asked. Nagisa, Rei, Hana, and even… "Sousuke?"

Sousuke was leaning back in his seat with a fond smile, his hands tucked into the pockets of his skin-tight black jeans, the T-shirt accentuating the fact that he was still fucking cut, despite giving up on swimming. He shrugged. "Your sister insisted. It's not like I could turn her down."

"Gou?"

"Onii-chan, aren't these great?" Gou spun, pulling her ponytail out of the way and dropping her sweatshirt off her shoulders. The back of her T-shirt said, _My brother is an Olympian!_

 _Oh, great_. _Ai, your T-shirt better not fucking say…_

Nitori was gazing up at him with liquid aqua eyes. "Senpai, do you want to see what mine says?"

"I get the idea, thanks," Rin said, shoving a hand into his hair.

Gou tied her sweatshirt around her waist. "I knew you'd—" She cut off abruptly, staring behind Rin. "Onii-chan, who…?"

Gou's friend Hanamura popped up beside her, eyes wide and lips forming a delicate O-shape. The girl's updo of light brown hair was secured by a barrette with three pink rosettes. She wore a short black skirt and black tights with her T-shirt.

Rin followed their gazes.

Ty lifted a hand in greeting. " _G'day, loves. Name's Ty Bingham._ "

The girls stilled, their faces blank with shock—

Hana was the first to recover, slipping past Rin and extending her hand. " _Hi, my name is Chigusa_ ," she said in rough English.

" _Hey there, Chigusa. Nice to know ya_ ," Ty said, taking her offered hand.

Hana squealed, fanning her face with her free hand. "I could just listen to him talk all day!"

Ty smiled politely at the Japanese, clearly not understanding a word.

"Hana!" Gou's face flushed. "Let go already!"

"Nnn." The girl reluctantly backed away.

" _You must be Rin's sister?_ " Ty asked, holding out his hand.

" _Yes_ …" Gou laughed sheepishly as they shook. " _That is… I am_ …" She gave up, sighing dreamily. " _Flexor pollicis longus_."

Rin's brow twitched. "Hey now…"

But Gou just shoved him aside. "Onii-chan, shouldn't you catch up with Sousuke or something?"

" _Oi!_ "

"Gou, is this your brother?"

Rin turned at the unfamiliar voice, finding himself face-to-face and eye-to-eye with another girl in a _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirt. She was taller than him, with tight orange corkscrews for hair, gathered back in a patterned headwrap and exploding behind her head like a starburst. Her eyes were gold like the medal around Haru's neck.

"You're even cuter in person," she said, staring at his face.

Rin blinked. "What?"

Beside him, Haru looked disconcerted.

Makoto came to the rescue. "Rin, this is—"

"Mikoshiba Mikan," the girl said, flashing her teeth in a grin.

"A…ah." _Momo…Mikan… Your parents apparently have a thing for…_

"Fruit," Haru muttered.

Orange-colored fruit. Rin wondered off hand why Seijuurou hadn't been named after a persimmon or something.

"Haha! Have you met my sister?" Mikoshiba appeared then, slinging an arm around the girl's shoulders. "Good to see you, Mika-kun!"

"Sei-nii!"

"Where's—" Mikoshiba stopped short, his eyes laser focusing— "Gou-kun!" He pushed past Rin, dragging his sister with him.

Rin sat down, just to get out of the way, landing between Sousuke and Nitori. "I'm gonna regret introducing them," he muttered, watching as Mikoshiba unsuccessfully tried to interject between Gou's broken English and Ty's smooth, Australian accent.

"I'll keep an eye out for you," Sousuke said.

Rin exhaled. "Thanks. I owe you."

"Nah. Getting to watch you swim like that is more than enough for me."

Rin glanced at his friend, at the uncanny warm look in emerald eyes. His brows lifted. _I can't remember the last time I saw you look happy about anything. Not to mention that you and Haru are within a few meters of each other and it's apparently fine…_ Granted, Haru had been pretty well enveloped by the Iwatobi alums, two rows down. _But still…_ "Sousuke…"

"Bronze in the fly, though," Sousuke shook his head. "You're better than that."

" _Tch_." Rin sat back, thrusting his hands into his pockets. "It just worked out to be the less important race, today. Tomorrow and Sunday won't be like that."

"Right," Sousuke murmured.

Rin cocked a brow.

Sousuke settled back with a smile. "You're good enough to do it all, Rin."

He pressed his lips. "Maybe."

They lapsed into silence; Rin felt Nitori's gaze. "Ai, how's school going?"

"Oh!" Nitori looked surprised at being addressed. "It's, uhm—"

"Nagisa, I _said_ we weren't going to talk about that," Makoto said, his voice slightly elevated with alarm.

"Not going to talk about— _oh_. The water—"

Rin got distracted by Makoto's attempts to hush Nagisa. They must've been talking about Rio. He met Haru's gaze, questioning with a glance. _You didn't tell them? Not even Makoto?_

Haru shook his head and Rin got the impression it wasn't a topic Haru was ready to broach with his friends.

He nodded and leaned back. Haru tilted his head in a gesture of gratitude, returning to whatever subject Makoto had managed to steer the conversation to.

"…And I made a list of all your competitions and the time zones and the websites for streaming, so I can be cheering you on—"

 _Weren't we talking about calculus or something?_ Rin smiled, resting a hand on his kouhai's shoulder and squeezing affectionately. "Thanks, Ai. Just don't let it interfere with your studies."

Nitori's pale cheeks flushed. "Uh, hai—"

"Ai-chan!" Nagisa was waving from the front row, standing against the rail. "It's time for Momo-chan's race!"

"Oh!" Nitori hesitated, looking torn.

"Go," Rin said. "I'll be cheering from back here."

"OK." Nitori got up, smiling as he climbed down to the front row, where Nagisa and the others were already yelling.

"Momo-chan!" "Momo-kun!" "Momotarou!"

Down by the pool, Momo peeled off his warmups and waved vigorously towards the stands, dancing around in his Team Japan speedo. "Gou-san! Mika-nee-chan!"

Rin smiled, doubting Momo had the discipline to hold anything back in this race. _Not fucking likely._

"So. You're doing it too, now," Sousuke said, his voice low.

"Hmm?" Rin flicked his gaze towards his best friend.

Sousuke still wore an open, easy expression, but that was only a façade. His eyes were a shade darker, slightly narrowed when he spoke. "Holding entire conversations with Nanase without a word. I've only seen Tachibana do that."

"Huh?" Rin frowned. "What're you talking about?"

Sousuke chuckled, but the sound lacked any actual mirth. "And you didn't even notice."

 _Pff._ Rin turned his attention back to the pool, where the swimmers were jumping into the water and climbing up to the holds for the start. "Sousuke, you're imagining things." _Haru and I don't do that, it's just him and Makoto…_

"Hmph. I'm not the only one who saw it, Rin."

The ready and the start signal were given…

In the first row, Haru was seated between Rei and Makoto. Haru's gaze was intent on the race below, Rei was supervising Nagisa and Nitori against the rail, and Makoto…was looking at Haru. Makoto was smiling in that sweet way he always did and no one who didn't know him would think anything was amiss. But the look in Makoto's eyes…it was like he knew he'd lost something.

Rin sobered fast. Fuck, was Sousuke right? _Makoto, it's not like I was trying to…_

"Are you still gonna deny it?" Sousuke asked.

"Deny what?" Rin looked over sharply. _What the hell are you getting at now?_

Sousuke expression had cooled. "That something's going on between the two of you. Especially after the way you pushed him underwater..."

Rin didn't answer, his face hot. He didn't know how to answer that.

"Well." Sousuke smirked. "That's progress at least."

"Momo-chan, fight-o!" Nagisa thrust a hand into the air as the swimmers hit the turn and started back the other way—Momo, in lane four, was leading the charge, a stroke or so ahead of the Japanese swimmer in lane five and the Australian in lane three.

"My advice…"

_Not that I fucking want it, but that's not going to stop you from giving it to me, is it?_

"Do what you need to do, to get it out of your system before he leaves. You don't want to be pining for two months and then fuck things up in Rio because you can't keep your hands to yourself."

Rin's hands curled in the pockets of his warmup jacket, his entire body stiffening with anger. "Lay off, Sousuke. It's none of your fucking business." _Just because you and Kawamura think a casual fuck is one more item on your to-do list for the day…_

Sousuke rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, his voice nearly swallowed by the sound of cheering as Momo claimed gold down below. "Prude."

Rin slit his eyes. "What did you call me?"

"Guys?" Makoto looked back at them, lips pursed and glancing between the two of them with a concerned expression. "Maybe take that outside?"

Nitori turned from the rail, his brow knit with worry. "…Senpai?"

Rin got himself under control with a breath. "No need. We're done," he said. There was no fucking point continuing to argue about it. He folded his arms.

Beside him, Sousuke sighed.

Makoto watched them for a moment more, then relented, turning forward again.

Haru didn't turn, but by the stiffness in his shoulders, the way he shifted slightly in his seat…Rin wondered how much of that he'd heard.

-x-

A cloudy, rapidly darkening sky waited outside after the evening's races concluded. Rin slipped the strap of his gear bag onto his shoulder, frowning at his sister and Hana still fawning over Ty and other members of the Australian team.

"I'll make sure the girls get back to your place without company," Sousuke said, trailing him.

"Thanks. I appreciate it," Rin said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. It was the most they'd said to each other since Momo's race and that was fine. He needed to cool off before reengaging. Though, lately, this was becoming too fucking normal. _Us, fighting over Haru. Why the fuck does it matter to you anyways?_ "See you tomorrow."

"Ah."

Rin walked away, leaving his best friend behind.

"Ah, Senpai—" Nitori caught up with him.

Rin managed a smile for his kouhai, giving Nitori's shoulder a gentle shake. "Ai…look out for him tonight, OK?"

Nitori's face brightened. "Hai, Senpai! You can count on me."

"Thanks. See you in the morning."

"Hai!"

He skirted the Mikoshiba siblings, heading for the Iwatobi alums. Haru was in the center of the little gathering, surrounded by Makoto, Rei, and Nagisa in their _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirts and light jackets. They were all laughing and chatting together like the old friends and teammates they were. Even Haru looked happy and at ease.

Rin's steps slowed. He felt…selfish. _Even though it's Haru choice and I'm not making it for him… In some ways it still feels like that…like I'm taking him away from you guys. I'm greedy, aren't I? But I've always been like that with you, Haru._

Nagisa noticed him first, trotting over and grabbing his arm, pulling him into the group. "Rin-chan, do you really have to go? We hardly got to spend any time with you and Haru-chan." He pouted, clinging to Rin's arm, blond hair falling across his forehead.

"Nagisa-kun…" Rei sighed. "We'll be coming back tomorrow."

"Hopefully we can go to lunch with everyone," Makoto said, smiling.

"It should work," Haru said. "There's a few hours between the prelims and finals."

Rin nodded. "Yeah." He didn't say anything else, but managed an easy smile.

Haru glanced at him, reading his face with a flick of blue eyes. There was a slight hardening of Haru's gaze, the look something like, _You're not OK._

Rin softened his eyes in reply. _No, but I will be._

Haru exhaled, looking unsatisfied but apparently willing to let it go for now.

So Sousuke was right. _We_ are _doing that thing. Talking the way I was always jealous of you and Makoto…_

"Haruka, Matsuoka…time to go," Takara said from behind them. There was still a bitter edge to her voice.

"We're coming, Takara," Haru said, crossing to Rin's side.

Nagisa loosened his grip on Rin's arm. "…Is that Taka-chan?"

"Eh? Who's asking?" Takara flicked a section of loose black hair over her shoulder.

"Sakamoto-senpai, I'm sorry we missed your race in the 200m free," Makoto said.

Takara's face clouded and she glanced away. "Don't be. I'm glad none of you were here to see it."

 _Been there_ , Rin thought, not saying a word.

"Sakamoto-senpai's swimming in the 400 meter individual medley tomorrow," Makoto told the others. "She was just over national record time in the Olympic Trials."

Takara rolled her eyes. "Don't bother trying to cheer me up, Makoto."

Makoto smiled warmly. "I'm just stating facts, Sakamoto-senpai."

Takara's face tensed, like she'd retort. Then she exhaled roughly. "Damnit, Makoto, I hate it when you do that. See you tomorrow." She turned to leave. "Wonder twins—"

"I said we're behind you," Haru said and glanced at Rin.

"Ah." Rin turned, falling in with Haru. They both waved. "'Night."

"Goodnight, you guys," Makoto said. "Get some rest."

"Ne, ne, Mako-chan, do you think that…?" Rin didn't hear the rest of what Nagisa said.

They boarded the bus with their teammates, Rin getting the window seat this time and watching the sunset reflecting off Tokyo buildings and elevated trains as they made their way back to the National Training Center. Haru was quiet beside him, his eyes closed but Rin knew he wasn't sleeping.

By the time they arrived, the sky was dark except for a white halo of clouds surrounding the nearly full moon. They filed off the buses and headed directly for the dining hall, gathering at their usual table.

Momo's overflowing tray was half-desserts. He was his typical exuberant self— _and now we're adding sugar?_ Mikoshiba, beside him, was uncharacteristically sullen, picking at his food.

"You're really letting him eat like that, Seijuurou?" Takara asked, seeming a little more put together after devouring half a plate of pasta.

Mikoshiba sighed, nudging a piece of chicken with his fork. "Do you think I could learn to speak English with an accent, Takara-kun?"

Takara rolled her eyes. "If she's gonna hop into bed with a guy just because he's got a sexy voice, she's not worth your time, sweetie."

" _Oi_." Rin frowned. "You're talking about my sister."

"Are we?" Takara smiled at him across the table—it wasn't a nice smile, per se. "Then she must be a helpless romantic, completely out of touch with her feelings, and if you aren't the one she's interested in…" She glanced at Mikoshiba. "I wish you luck scraping your ego off the floor, my friend."

"Hey!" Rin's face burned; he glared at her. _What the fuck are you trying to say?_

"Sakamoto-san," Ikehara said, lowering his tea cup. "We all know you're upset about your race tonight, but keep it above the belt, hmm?"

Takara's cheeks darkened with a blush. "Sorry," she muttered.

Rin pursed his lips, irritated. He finished his food with a few more bites and got up. "See you guys in the morning."

Haru moved to follow.

"Oh, Nanase-kun…" Ikehara said.

"Ah." Haru stayed behind.

Rin dumped his tray and headed for the elevators. A tone played when the car arrived and he got in, breathing a sigh of relief to finally be alone. As the elevator doors slid closed, he leaned back against the far wall. _Why the fuck is everyone on me tonight?_ After qualifying in the 200m free he'd been on top of the world, except for the fact that Haru was leaving. But all the cheap shots since— _Don't take it out on me. Just because I made it and you didn't._ He didn't want to include Sousuke in that statement, but he did.

There was another chime and the doors slid open…

Rin's eyes widened when he met Haru's startled face. _How did you…?_ Then he realized the car hadn't moved—he was still on the first floor.

"You're hanging out in the elevator, Rin?" Haru asked, getting on and hitting the button for the sixth floor.

"Eh." Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "Guess I forgot to hit the button." _That was fucking stupid._

Haru's eyes sharpened with concern, though he didn't comment. The car lurched into motion, carrying them upwards. They got out on the sixth floor and Rin led the way to their room, swiping his keycard to unlock the door. He flicked the lights on as they entered.

"What did Captain Ikehara want?" he asked, dropping his gear bag at the foot of his bed and flopping down on top of the covers, staring at the ceiling.

"He's got a meeting with Coach Fujino," Haru said. Rin listened to Haru's bed creak as he sat down. There was a rustle of fabric, followed by shoes softly hitting the floor, one at a time. "Until 8:30. He won't be back until after."

"…Ah." Rin shifted, glancing at the clock. It was a few minutes before eight. He closed his eyes, grateful for the reprieve, however brief. "Na, Haru—"

Rin was interrupted by a warm body sliding against his in a T-shirt and jammers only, Haru's arm wrapping his waist.

"Hm?" Haru asked, as if cuddling in hadn't completely derailed Rin's train of thought.

"…Let me take my shoes off."

Haru withdrew his arm.

Rin sat up, pulling off his shoes and his warmup jacket, straightening the dark gray T-shirt he wore underneath. Then he laid down on his side, his heart starting to pound as he tucked an arm around Haru, their bodies flush and faces close. Strands of ebony hair shifted across Haru's forehead, above blue eyes that Rin felt searching his face. Rin swallowed, suppressing the urge to look away, letting Haru see the tempest of emotions that had to be swirling in his gaze. There was so much of it—of everything—welling up inside him and he didn't even know where to fucking _start_ —

Haru exhaled, running a hand through Rin's hair…

Rin lost it, burying his face in Haru's throat and clutching fistfuls of his T-shirt. "Haru, I _can't_ fucking do this." _I hate feeling like a selfish jackass, but I need you._ "Two _months_."

"That's my line, Rin." Haru's fingers continued to thread through his hair.

Rin drew a ragged breath, lifting his head. "You were so great today. With the Australians. You blew me away."

Haru's face clouded, his expression a little self-conscious. "Because you were there. That's why I thought I could."

 _Haru_. Rin struggled to breathe around the hot lump forming in his throat. He freed one hand to lay against Haru's cheek, watching the skin beneath his fingers redden in a slight blush.

Haru's eyes softened to a disarming look that flooded Rin with warmth. "The way you swam in the 200 meter free…"

Rin sniffed hard. "Because we were racing, idiot." _Because I love swimming with you._

Haru smiled, drawing his hand down the side of Rin's face. "I was really happy."

"Haru…"

Haru sighed, closing his eyes and snuggling in. Rin wound his arms tightly around his friend, laying back as the tension slowly leeched from his limbs…

* * *

Saturday, May 21st, 2016

* * *

It was before 7am when they disembarked on the curb outside Tatsumi, the morning partly cloudy and temperate. The street was lined with buses, letting off scores of competitors. A few dedicated supporters had gathered to meet them despite the early hour. Rin looked for his sister…

"Yoshino!"

"Chiyo!" Ikehara left them, taking the concrete steps two at a time to join a woman in a black Team Japan T-shirt—official fan gear by the looks of it. A toddler in overalls and a tiny Team Japan shirt clung to her pant leg.

"The captain's family?" Haru watched quietly from Rin's side.

"Looks like it," Rin said.

Ikehara embraced the woman briefly, then picked up the little girl, holding her high overhead. "Mana-chan!"

The little girl squealed happily.

Rin looked away, feeling a brush of old pain.

"Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun! Come over here for a sec."

Rin steeled himself, following Haru over to join the small gathering.

Ikehara was beaming, the girl perched on his hip. "I want you guys to meet my family. My wife, Chiyo…"

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Chiyo said, smiling. The wind played with her chin-length chestnut-brown hair. "Yoshino's been talking my ear off about you two."

Really? Rin blinked. _Yeah, we've been hanging out since the first training camp, but…_ Being the topic of dinner conversation at the table of a three-time Olympian was pretty incredible.

Ikehara laughed. "I wish I could say she's exaggerating, but she isn't. And _this_ is Manami."

The chubby-faced toddler studied him and Haru with large brown eyes… "Nn!" Her gaze fastened on Rin. She reached out with short arms, making grabbing motions with her hands.

"Uh…" Rin stared, unsure of what to do…

"Mana-chan." Ikehara chuckled. "You're usually so shy. …Did you want to try holding her?"

Rin rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "I don't really know how to—"

"Can I?" Haru asked.

"Sure." Ikehara passed the child over.

Haru settled the girl on his hip like a pro. "Hello, Manami. My name is Haruka."

The girl stared back at him, her face framed by wisps of brown curls. "Har…ka?"

Haru nodded.

"You know what you're doing," Rin murmured.

"I helped Makoto with Ran and Ren a lot, growing up."

_Oh._

"And this is Rin," Haru said, shifting the girl towards him.

"Rin!" Mana lunged towards him, forcing Haru to step forward. Her tiny hand shot out, grabbing a fistful of Rin's hair.

Rin grunted in surprise.

Chiyo inhaled in a panic. "Mana-chan, don't pull!"

"…She's not," Rin said. The girl was just holding his hair gently.

Mana snuggled against Haru's shoulder, popping her thumb into her mouth—her other hand still grasped Rin's hair. She blinked sleepily, looking content, like she was ready to settle in for a nap.

"I think she likes your hair, Rin," Haru said.

Rin sighed.

"I'm so sorry," Chiyo said, looking embarrassed. "She _is_ tired. I had to wake her up early for the plane this morning."

"It's fine," Rin said. His face warmed a little though. Haru had a bemused look in his eyes. _Oh, you're really not helping._

"Rin-chan! Haru-chan!"

Haru glanced behind them, since Rin couldn't turn his head. "It's Nagisa."

Ikehara stepped close, reaching for his daughter. "Alright, Mana-chan. Time to let them go."

Mana popped her thumb from her mouth, releasing Rin's hair. "They have to go?"

"Yup." Ikehara gathered the child into his arms. "You can watch them swim later."

"Okay. Bye-bye!" She waved with both hands. "Har-ka, Rin, bye-bye!"

Rin and Haru waved as Ikehara and his family headed off.

Nagisa got to them first, wearing a faded athletic jacket over his _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirt and jeans. "That was…"

"Ikehara Yoshino," Rei said, adjusting his glasses. "Four-time Olympic medalist."

Hana was right up with him, brushing aside a lock of tawny colored hair that had escaped her up-do. "He's team captain, right? Gosh, his family's so cute!" She covered her mouth with one hand. "Gou, just imagine being married to all that muscle!"

"Cut it out, Hana-chan," Gou said, blushing. But she did have her pearl pink camera in hand and ready.

Nagisa grinned. "Ne, Mako-chan. Didn't Haru-chan and Rin-chan look cute holding the baby?"

Rin's face heated. " _Oi_ , Nagisa—"

Before Makoto could reply, the Mikoshiba siblings appeared with Sousuke and Nitori.

"Good morning, everyone!" Mikoshiba said, his arm slung around his sister's shoulders. They were nearly the same height.

"Gou-san!" Momo bounded up to Rin's sister.

"So many people," Haru muttered, edging away.

Makoto smiled. "We should let you guys get to your warm ups, right?"

"Aww…" Nagisa clung to one of Haru's arms.

It took a few minutes to extract themselves, but they were finally able to slip away, leaving Mikoshiba and Momo to follow them later.

They checked in at registration and headed down the hall towards the locker room.

"You don't like kids, Rin?" Haru asked.

Rin pressed his lips. _It's not that._ "I just…" He trailed off, going quiet. _Maybe it is. Kids just weigh you down, drown your dreams. At least, that's what I always thought._ He thought back, though, to Ikehara, smiling and embracing his family—a life that seemed like nothing was lacking, like no dreams had to be sacrificed. _I don't get it. How you can do all that. When my dad…didn't._ He didn't end up saying anything else and Haru didn't press him.

-x-

Rin's races that morning were the 50m fly and the 100m free. The warmup pool was full-on chaos as usual, but once the programs started, things calmed down a little. Rin stayed down below between races, hanging out in the hall with his earbuds in and his eyes closed. He had texts from both his mom and Lori, congratulating him on the race last night and wishing him luck for today.

 _[Every time you race with Haru, it's like magic,]_ Lori wrote. _[Russell and I can't wait to see you guys compete in Rio.]_

 _[Thanks, Lori_ , _]_ he'd written back.

Rin felt a little drained. Yesterday had been so emotional—the highs so high and the lows so low. It felt good to withdraw into himself for a few moments. Haru was with him, quiet and radiating his usual calm. They were standing close enough against the wall that their arms brushed when one of them shifted. Rin was grateful that words were so often unnecessary with Haru. _That you're content to coexist with things that aren't perfect…aren't fixed. You're teaching me how to let things be._

After Ethan smoked everyone in the prelims for the 100m free, they went out to lunch in a huge pack, nearly filling one of the restaurants near the stadium. Rin ended up sitting between Rei and Nagisa, across from Makoto and Haru. Gou and Hana were flanked by the Mikoshiba brothers at another table, joined by Mikoshiba's sister, Sousuke, Nitori, and Takara.

"Your form in the 50 meter butterfly was particularly beautiful today, Rin-senpai," Rei said, lowering his chopsticks and resting them _just so_ on the chopstick holder. "Even for such a short sprint, your movements were precise—utterly exquisite." His eyes glowed behind his glasses.

"Hmph, glad you thought so," Rin said, finishing off his soup with one last swallow. "What about you, Rei? You haven't given up on swimming, right?"

"Rei-chan and I joined the team at school," Nagisa said. "We'll make the first years' relay team if Rei improves his time a little."

Rei drew himself straight. "I've done the calculations. It should be possible for me to achieve the appropriate time one week prior to the final time trial, as long as I stick to the prescribed regimen."

Rin smiled. "Make sure you get enough rest. That's important too."

"Of course! I have rest periods factored in, to the minute."

 _Naturally_.

"And you're keeping up with your studies as well, right?" Makoto asked.

"Ahhh, Mako-chan." Nagisa pouted, leaning his head on Rin's right shoulder. "Physics is so hard."

"It's all perfectly logical, Nagisa-kun," Rei said. "If you'd just memorize the laws and formulas…"

Nagisa made a whining noise. "But I don't wanna. Why can't I be like Rin-chan and not have to go to school?"

Rin sighed.

"You have to be disciplined, Nagisa," Haru said, lifting his rice bowl. "Even more than at school."

"…It's not like I'll be swimming forever," Rin murmured, setting his empty soup container on the table. _My goal is to go to three or four Olympics like Ikehara and Sugiyama, but…_ He felt Haru's gaze.

"Oh, have you decided on a future career goal?" Makoto asked, his friendly smile evident in his voice.

"Not really." He lifted his water cup. "Though I'll probably stay on at Koutei, at least for the near term."

Nagisa raised his head. "You mean you're not going back to Australia after Rio's over?"

Across from him, Haru paused, his chopsticks lifting a small portion of rice.

"Nah." Rin drank. _There's too much here for me, now._

Haru was looking away when Rin lowered his cup, but the quiet pleasure in blue eyes was obvious.

-x-

…In the finals that evening, Rin eked out a gold against Dillon Lee in the 50m fly. The 100m free went to the Team Australia captain, undercutting both Rin and Haru by more than a second. Rin took silver and Haru, bronze. Mikoshiba and Takara each won gold in their respective 400m IM events. Momo and Mikoshiba tied in the 200m backstroke for bronze, behind the Australian swimmer, while Captain Ikehara took silver in the 50m breaststroke.

* * *

Sunday, May 22nd, 2016

* * *

Rin woke before his alarm, sitting up in bed and stretching. One bed over, Haru was still asleep. If today was anything like the previous two days, Haru would sleep in until the very last second. _You'd get up earlier if there was a bath nearby._

Ikehara was awake, sitting on the edge of his bed already dressed in his warmups, a clipboard in hand as he went about his captainly duties.

Rin climbed out of bed, running a hand through his hair as he grabbed his gear bag and started going through his normal pre-comp routine.

"Matsuoka."

"Hmm?" He paused, glancing over at his captain.

Ikehara lowered the clipboard. "You saw the start lists, right?"

Rin sobered. "Yeah."

Ikehara nodded. "Good luck today." He went back to checking his paperwork.

"Thanks." Rin grabbed his toiletries bag, heading for the bathroom. Per Coach Fujino's instructions, neither of his races today should've mattered—his spots in the 50m free and the 100m fly were already assured. The fact that one slot in the 100m fly was up for grabs wasn't directly the issue, either. But Sugiyama had decided to enter, meaning… _the fly leg of the medley's at stake tonight._

-x-

The day was unseasonably warm with mostly clear skies and a fair bit of wind. Rin's races were back-to-back, the 50m free with Haru, Ethan, and Ty…and the 100m fly with Sugiyama, Dillon, and Kawamura.

Ethan had top seed in the 50m free, the 7 heats dotted with competitors from all of the participating nations. The Australians had several of the top spots, with six swimmers in the event. By draw, Rin was in the 6th heat and Haru was in the 5th. Ty was swimming in the 7th heat, alongside Ethan, in lanes 5 and 4, respectively. Rin waited in the ready room, music blaring from his earbuds. It bothered him to aim for a time that was merely good, but he had to conserve for the fly race next.

While the third heat was swimming and the fourth heat was walking out, the fifth heat was lining up. Haru stripped off his warmups, donning his swim cap and goggles.

Rin shut off his music. "Haru." They bumped fists, but Rin caught his friend's hand, briefly, before Haru pulled away. _You've got this one for both of us, today._

Haru's gaze warmed. He nodded, squeezing Rin's fingers before heading out.

The third heat concluded, the fourth heat took the blocks, and Rin got ready, peeling off his warmups. The fourth heat had just finished when he high-fived Ty and Ethan and got in line, snapping the strap of his goggles before slipping his Team Japan swim cap over top. Onscreen, he watched Haru take the blocks for the fifth heat.

They walked out after the buzzer for the start, Rin catching the end of Haru's dive and the underwater phase. He stood behind the lane four block with his goggles on his forehead, holding his breath as Haru surfaced, charging down the length of the lane—

Haru took one breath and slapped the wall at the finish for 22 seconds, even, winning his heat. He was breathing hard but didn't look exhausted.

Rin grinned as he took the blocks for the sixth heat, locking eyes with Haru once before he bent into his starting position—

Rin allowed himself a costly extra breath, finishing second in his heat with a time of 22.75. It put him in third place overall, going into the seventh heat.

Climbing out of the pool, Rin headed for the ready room. Haru was waiting, a towel slung around his shoulders.

Rin clasped his friend in a quick embrace. "One breath in the fifty." He grinned, squeezing Haru's shoulder.

"Yeah." Haru looked pleased.

They watched the seventh heat on the screen as Ethan put up 21.80 on one breath and Ty came in shortly thereafter at 22.16.

"I bet neither of them breathe in the final," Rin murmured.

"Hmm."

Rin glanced sidelong at his friend. "Haru, don't you dare."

Haru smirked with his eyes, catching Rin's fingers for half a second as he headed off. "I'll watch from upstairs."

Rin watched him go, exhaling and smiling to himself.

-x-

Rin passed the women's 100m fly heats with more music and a sports drink. The only good thing, going into the men's 100m fly heats, was that he'd know, early on, what he was up against. Sugiyama was swimming in the third heat (of seven) in lane five. Rin had top seed in the seventh heat, Dillon was in the sixth heat, and Kawamura was in the fifth.

Sugiyama was the defending national record holder with a time of 50.76 from the Olympic Trials prior to Beijing in 2008. Somehow the guy had choked when it came time to swim the actual event, not even making the podium. If Rin really wanted to know what happened, he could've asked Ikehara… _Maybe someday._ For now, it was much easier just being competitors and not knowing anything. Sugiyama, on the other side of the ready room, was swinging his arms, wireless earbuds tucked into his ears.

As the men's heats started, Rin turned off his music. The first two heats passed uneventfully, the best swimmer not even breaking 54 seconds. After the third heat walked out, Rin moved towards the screen, listening to the cheering and watching Sugiyama mount the block on lane five in black Team Japan jammers slashed with red.

" _Take your marks_."

The starter sounded— Sugiyama's form was flawless from the moment his feet left the block. Strong dolphin kicks beneath the surface had him surging ahead into an early lead… But that was nothing compared to the raw power coupled with mechanically perfect strokes of butterfly that followed from the fifteen meter mark. An icy feeling spread through Rin's stomach as he watched. He'd seen Sugiyama swim fly before—countless times. This was different— _you weren't showing all your cards even then._ Tension climbed up Rin's back, spreading across his torso and running down his arms to his fingertips. He turned from the screen and walked a few steps away, taking deep breaths. He couldn't afford to get stressed out now. _Don't freak out. Keep it together, stay loose…_ But no matter how many times he repeated those words to himself, it didn't seem to help.

 _You need to relax, Rin…_ Haru's voice echoed in his ears, from his memories.

Rin closed his eyes, running his fingertips down the vertebrae along the back of his neck, remembering Haru's touch, Haru's hands working the knots from his muscles. He thought of the happy look in Haru's eyes, afterwards, _when you said those words I won't ever forget…_

_I'd never ask you to give up your dream, Rin._

Rin exhaled, his eyes still closed, feeling his shoulders start to unwind. His dream was _safe_ with Haru. _Until you said that, I didn't know how much I needed to hear it. …Like I've been searching for a long time, but I wasn't even aware—_

Rin flinched at the announcer's voice: " _The swimmer in lane five, Sugiyama Noboru, Team Japan, has set a new national record—50.72 seconds._ " Loud cheering followed.

…But that flinch was all. He was still thinking of Haru when he rolled his shoulders and stretched, working the tension out, one limb at a time. It wasn't like the fear was gone when he opened his eyes and started peeling off his warmups, but he felt a lot calmer.

The seventh heat walked out as the sixth heat was finishing. Rin settled his goggles into place as Dillon slapped the wall at 51 seconds and change, taking the second spot overall, so far. As Dillon's heat cleared the pool, the cheering started up again. Rin heard his name shouted by several people. He adjusted the start block and looked up to the stands, searching for one and only one face... Haru wasn't with the Iwatobi and Samezuka alums on the left side of the arena, he was over on the right hand side, standing next to Captain Ikehara at the rail with their coaches and the rest of Team Japan. Even from this distance, Rin could read the quiet confidence in Haru's gaze.

His heart settled as he propped one foot on the start block on lane four, waiting for the long whistle… Fifty meters of glassy water spread out in front of him. Rin smiled, eager, hopping up and dropping into position…

" _Take your marks_."

At the buzzer, he leapt forward—

Rin slapped the wall at the end of 100 meters, knowing he'd just delivered a personal best. He took his time pulling off his cap and goggles, drawing a deep breath before he lifted his eyes to the board. _50.89_. Rin grinned, slamming one fist into the water. Striking distance—it was a time he could be happy about.

He climbed from the pool, unable to help but notice the difference. _The last time we went head to head, I fucking cracked. This time…_ Rin lifted his gaze to the stands, finding Haru again. The smile they shared…he was pretty sure Haru was thinking the same thing.

In the ready room, Rin dried off, gathering his gear. After a two-second rinse-off shower in the locker room, he donned his warmups and headed up into the stands. The women's 200m breaststroke heats were going on when he joined his teammates, accepting slaps on the back and high fives from several of the others.

Assistant Coach Maekawa swatted his arm. "Well done, Matsuoka."

"Thanks." Rin grinned, slipping past her to the rail.

Haru was waiting with unmistakable warmth in blue eyes; Takara was beside him.

Rin slid his arms around Haru's shoulders from behind, loving it when Haru reached up to grasp his elbow. The glance they shared was charged, tender, and _significant_ , all at once. There was a faint, happy blush in Haru's cheeks when he turned forward again, returning his attention to the race below.

"Matsuoka." Takara flicked hair behind her shoulder as she looked at him. "Nicely done."

"You too," he said, referencing her top finish in the women's 200m IM, the first race of the day.

She smiled and went back to cheering. "Yumi-chan!"

It was the fourth heat (of five) in the women's 200m breaststroke.

"Nine heats in the men's, right?" Rin asked.

Haru nodded. "Captain Ikehara's in the ninth heat."

"Guess we'll be here for a while then." _I don't plan on moving._

"Yeah." Rin could hear the smile in Haru's eyes.

They stayed just like that and Rin didn't give a fuck who might be watching. Haru didn't seem to mind either.

-x-

After Ikehara rocked the prelims for the men's 200m breaststroke, Rin and Haru joined their friends for lunch. Sousuke was notably absent from the group…but a quick glance located him heading off with Kawamura and a few in Todai blue and yellow.

"Senpai." Nitori caught up with Rin as they headed down the concrete steps leading out of the stadium. "Yamazaki-senpai said to tell you he'd catch up later."

"Yeah." Rin ruffled the guy's hair. "Don't worry about it. I know." He smiled. "What time does your plane leave?"

"6pm." Nitori's lips pursed. "I promise I'll watch Senpai's races at the airport."

"Thanks. Your support means a lot, Ai."

Nitori's aquamarine eyes widened, his entire face glowing with delight. "Hai!"

…They said goodbye at Shin-Kiba station after lunch, with Makoto planning to shepherd the Iwatobi and Samezuka alums to Haneda to catch their plane.

"Onii-chan!" Gou squeezed him in a tight hug. "Good luck out there. Take lots of pictures, OK? Safe travels and all."

"You sound like Mom," Rin said, stroking her hair.

"I do not!"

Rin chuckled, pressing a kiss to his sister's forehead. "I'll be careful. Take care of things here—and Mom, OK?"

"I will." Gou giggled as she let go. "Onii-chan, you're being so affectionate."

Rin's brow twitched. _I am not._

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa attached himself to Haru's waist, wailing. "I can't believe you're leaving!"

"Nagisa, it's not forever," Makoto said.

"But you're not coming home for _three months_."

Rin saw Haru stiffen.

"Nagisa-kun, we talked about this," Rei said, his voice gentle. "We're not supposed to—"

"It's OK," Haru said. "I…" He paused, drawing a breath. "I can't believe I'm doing this either. …But it's my dream and it's important to me, so I'm going to."

_Haru…_

Haru's expression softened. "Thanks for coming to see us off."

His words hung in the air for a moment.

Nagisa's face crumpled. "Haru-chan!" He sobbed against Haru's chest.

Rei lost it too. "Haruka-senpai!" He wrapped long arms around them both.

Then Makoto sniffled, joining the hug.

Rin held back, not about to interfere…until Nagisa's hand flashed out, grabbing his arm and pulling him in.

"Rin-chan!"

" _Oi_ —" He ended up pressed against Haru, surrounded by their friends. He quickly lost track of who was hugging him, who was crying on him— _You guys._ Rin smiled, warmth gathering in his throat. _I'll miss you, too._

Rin caught a flash of orange hair out of the corner of his eye. _Momo_ … The kid bounced up to Gou.

"Gou-san! I'll bring you back a Brazilian stag beetle!"

Gou shied away, laughing uneasily. "Momo-kun…"

Momo's older sister, Mikan, appeared and hooked an arm around Momo's neck, dragging the kid away in a headlock. "Momotarou! Give your sister a hug!"

"Mika-nee-channnn…" Momo made a face, struggling in vain against his sister's grip.

While Momo was otherwise occupied, Mikoshiba slipped in to talk to Gou. Rin's brow twitched. _Since I'm conveniently trapped here…_

Mikoshiba rubbed the back of his neck, looking atypically sheepish. "Eh, Gou-kun… Is it OK if I send you a postcard or an email sometime?"

"Oh." Gou blushed faintly. "Yeah. …That's OK."

Mikoshiba blinked in disbelief. "Really?" He brightened.

Gou stepped forward, giving the guy a three-second hug. "Take care of my brother and Haruka-senpai for me, OK?"

Rin's eyes widened, his brows climbing his forehead.

"Y-yeah," Mikoshiba said, sputtering. "Of-of course." His cheeks flushed pink.

Gou whirled and scampered away, joining Hana. The two of them were instantly conferencing, their heads close together.

"Gou, I can't believe you actually—"

"Hana, _shut up_." She cleared her throat. "Mika-senpai, we'd better go…"

Mikan stopped grinding her knuckles into the top of Momo's head. "Coming!"

Makoto took that cue to withdraw from the Iwatobi group hug. "Nagisa, Rei, it's about that time…"

Rei stepped back, cleaning his glasses as he composed himself. Nagisa reluctantly let go, brushing the tear streaks away. He rested his forehead against Rei's back, sniffling.

Makoto smiled gently. "I'll be back before your finals tonight, I hope."

Haru nodded. "Thanks, Makoto."

Rin and the other Olympians waved as the Iwatobi alums, Nitori, and Mikoshiba's sister headed off towards the station entrance. They kept waving until their friends disappeared inside.

Rin caught Mikoshiba looking at him warily and lifted a brow. "Hm?"

Mikoshiba cleared his throat. "Er. You're not gonna hit me or something?"

"Nah." Rin shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. "I'm pretty sure she was just feeling up your traps. I wouldn't get your hopes up."

The guy smiled, not looking disappointed at all.

Momo peered suspiciously at his brother. "Nii-chan, what're you talking about?"

"Haha! Nothing, little brother!" Mikoshiba threw an arm around the kid's shoulders. "Are you ready for your race in the fifty?" They started off towards the stadium.

Rin lingered behind with Haru, waiting without saying a word. They had time. It was a few minutes more before Haru finally turned away. Rin caught a glimpse of liquid eyes and reddened cheeks before Haru leaned against him with a sigh. Rin drew an arm around Haru's shoulders, squeezing gently as they slowly made their way back…

-x-

The A-Finals Sunday night started in the late afternoon. Takara took gold in the first event—the women's 200m IM. A few races later, Momo was pouting on the podium with a silver in the men's 50m backstroke; the Australian swimmer took gold.

The men's final in the 50m free was at 4:45pm. The announcer's voice blared from the speakers, over the music and cheering as the ten competitors walked out to take their positions on the opposite end of the pool. "… _In lane three, Ty Bingham, Team Australia. In lane four, Ethan McInnes, Team Australia. In lane five, Nanase Haruka, Team Japan. In lane six, Matsuoka Rin, Team Japan. In lane seven…_ "

Rin shucked off his warmups into the bin, pressing his goggles into place and smoothing his swim cap.

" _Well, Haruka. You ready, mate?_ " Ethan asked, two lanes over.

" _Yes, thank you_ ," Haru said, straightening after adjusting the block on his lane. " _Good luck to you_."

Ethan grinned. " _You too_."

Rin glanced at his friend fondly, though he paused at the glint of mischief in Haru's gaze. "Haru."

"Don't worry, Rin." Haru lowered his goggles into position. "I don't need to do something stupid to be fast."

Rin relaxed. The four-pulse whistle sent them to the blocks…

At the long whistle, Rin stepped up, drawing a breath and centering himself, hearing the loud cheers from the stands.

" _Take your marks._ "

He gripped the block, tense in the silence—

The start sounded and Rin dove, slipping into the cool water. He dolphin kicked smoothly, feeling Haru already starting to pull away, beside him. Rin curbed his competitive instincts, holding back even though it was damn hard to do, swimming next to Haru. He wasn't that far behind when they surfaced, Rin coming up to a sprint that was slightly less than his maximum. He lost ground to Haru with the first breath at twenty-five meters and the second breath at forty meters. But he still kicked it up for the finish, stretching out for the wall—

Loud cheering and excited screaming met them at the finish.

" _The swimmer in lane five, Nanase Haruka, Team Japan, has set a new national record, at 21.66 seconds._ "

Rin tugged his goggles down to his throat, glancing at the board as he swam towards Haru's lane.

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – McINNES Ethan – AUS – 21.59

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – NANASE Haruka – JPN – 21.66 NR

3 – Heat 1, Lane 3 – BINGHAM Ty – AUS – 21.91

4 – Heat 1, Lane 6 – MATSUOKA Rin – JPN – 22.45

Rin grinned, ducking under the lane line and hugging his friend. "Haru—"

Haru didn't say anything as he caught his breath, but his eyes were pleased when he pulled off his goggles.

" _Haruka!_ " Ethan grinned ear-to-ear, draped over the line between lanes four and five and extending his hand. " _That was fantastic! Let's do that again in Rio!_ "

Rin let go so Haru could greet the Australian with a handshake over the line.

" _Thank you,"_ Haru said. _"I will look forward to it_."

Rin watched, bursting with pride. He didn't even care that he'd missed the podium.

They climbed out soon after, Rin grabbing his stuff and watching from the ready room entrance as Haru was interviewed and photographed with the Australians after receiving the silver medal.

"Haruka!" "Nanase-kun!"

"Haru!" Makoto had made it back in time, apparently.

Haru waved before he stepped down and walked towards the ready room, flanked by the Australians. Ethan and Ty were laughing, English flying back and forth. Haru looked happy—bright and challenged and satisfied, despite that he likely wasn't following the conversation.

 _You're incredible, Haru_. Rin felt breathless and warm, a lump forming in his throat that was some emotion he couldn't quite put a name to. Maybe admiration? It was…but there was more, too. Rin waited, his heart starting to race as their eyes met—

Haru left the Australians, enfolding Rin in an embrace that was startling enough. _Haru's hugging me?_ But Rin's brain checked out when Haru's lips touched his cheek.

"Good race, Rin."

Rin flushed hard.

Haru kept it brief, drawing back with a faint smile. "You got this."

He relaxed. "Yeah." They bumped fists and Haru left.

Rin moved to the edge of the room as the women lined up for the 100m fly. He grabbed a cup of water while the men gathered—Sugiyama, Kawamura, Dillon Lee, and another from the Australian team. Rin drained the cup in quick swallows, his face still burning where Haru had kissed him. But he wasn't nervous like he should've been.

After the women's race was complete, Rin lined up behind Sugiyama. The guy hadn't said a word to him or anyone else. He was completely focused; untouchable. No wonder he had an edge, when he could shut out the world like that. It was different from Haru's sense of calm, though. Sugiyama was like a steel fortress, cold and emotionless.

There was a blast of music. "… _Next up, program ninety. Men's one hundred meter butterfly, final_."

Rin followed the guy out and took his spot on lane five. Sugiyama had lane four. Dillon was in lane three and Kawamura was in lane two.

"Matsuoka-kun!" "Sugiyama-senpai!" "Kawamura-kun!"

"Rin!" Makoto's voice came from the left hand side of the stadium. He was sitting with Sousuke. Haru was over on the right side with the Mikoshiba brothers, Takara, and the rest of Team Japan.

Rin smiled as he peeled off his warmups and adjusted the starting block.

The whistle sounded. Rin approached the blocks, moving his goggles into place. He set one foot on the block, drawing a deep breath as he looked down at the shimmering water, the turn officials waiting at the far end. _Fifty meters down, fifty meters back. Let's do this._ He grinned as he climbed up at the whistle and took the starting position.

" _Take your marks._ "

The stadium went quiet for the start. At the buzzer, Rin launched forward, piercing the water fingertips first and starting his dolphin kicks. He pulled ahead underwater, but knew Sugiyama would catch up once they went to stroke. He surfaced first, switching to the rapid fly that Rei called beautiful. He felt good—limber from his previous race but not tired. When Sugiyama caught up with him, Rin turned it up, keeping pace at Sugiyama's shoulder and conserving what he could for the sprint on the back half.

Sugiyama hit the open turn first, but Rin was right behind him, slipping underwater and making up the difference. They came up neck-in-neck—

Rin built his speed, hitting all-out at the halfway point and taking the lead briefly. But Sugiyama wasn't far behind. When the guy kicked it up for the last fifteen and surged ahead, Rin didn't let him get away, pushing it and making his rival work for every centimeter of that lead—

With a final burst of speed, Rin stretched for the finish and slammed his hands home.

" _The swimmer in lane four, Sugiyama Noboru, Team Japan, has set a new national record, at 50.54 seconds._ "

Rin twisted around, breathing hard as he yanked his goggles down and looked at the board—

1 – Heat 1, Lane 4 – SUGIYAMA Noboru – JPN – 50.54 NR

2 – Heat 1, Lane 5 – MATSUOKA Rin – JPN – 50.59

 _I did it._ Rin's eyes watered as he caught his breath. _I really fucking did it. A whole second off my time in the fly._ He peeled off his swim cap and thrust his fist into the air. " _Yes!_ " It felt like gold.

"Sugiyama-senpai!" "Matsuoka!"

Rin followed the rest of the swimmers to the side of the pool and climbed out. Staff members led him to the sponsors' wall to be interviewed.

Sugiyama went first, brushing one hand through his close-cropped black hair as the reporter asked the first question.

"Sugiyama-kun, congratulations on beating your own national record time twice in one day," she said. "Previously, you stated you did not plan to participate in any individual events in Rio. Have you changed your mind?"

"I'll be discussing that with the coaches and taking my time to decide," Sugiyama said.

The reporter nodded, withdrawing the microphone. "What about rumors that you plan to retire this year after Rio? Can you tell us anything about that?"

"No, I can't." Sugiyama's face smoothed. "Certain rivals of mine would love to see me leave the sport. I have nothing to say to them; my times speak for themselves."

The reported smiled politely. "V-very good, Sugiyama-kun. Congratulations again."

Sugiyama nodded, stepping down from the wall. The guy's eyes were cool when their gazes met briefly.

Rin was next. He stepped up, planting a hand on his hip and smiling for the camera.

"Matsuoka-kun, you were celebrating out there like you just won gold, not silver. Can you tell us what that was about?" The reporter extended the microphone.

"I feel incredible," Rin said. "Since our first day of Team Japan training camp, it was my goal to drop a second off my time in the 100 meter fly. It was hard work and, honestly, I hit a lot of setbacks along the way. I owe it to a good friend of mine who opened my eyes and helped me break through. I'm really happy right now. So, yeah, it feels like I won it all."

The reporter smiled with obvious relief as she took back the microphone. "Well, Matsuoka-kun, it's safe to say your team is celebrating with you. Congratulations and good luck abroad."

"Thanks!" Rin grinned.

"Matsuoka!"

"Rin-senpai!" Momo's voice was crazy loud.

Rin chuckled, waving as he made his way to the podium with a stop off to grab his warmups and get dressed.

The silver medal felt good around his neck. He posed for the pictures, smiling like an idiot.

As they headed back to the ready room, Rin caught up with the gold medalist. "Good race, Sugiyama-senpai."

Sugiyama paused, giving him a dispassionate look. "Don't let one close race go to your head, Matsuoka. When we're out there and your…friend…isn't there to hold your hand…" The guy's eyes narrowed slightly. "Then we'll see if you really have what it takes."

"Ah. I'm looking forward to finding out, as well," Rin said. _I'm not letting you intimidate me this time. Whatever you're bitter about—it has nothing to do with me._

Sugiyama gaze darkened.

"Sugiyama-senpai." Captain Ikehara entered the ready room, joining them ahead of the men's 200m breaststroke that would finish out the competition. "Congratulations on your national record."

Sugiyama exhaled, his expression falling back to cool and detached. "Ah. Good luck, Ikehara."

"Thank you," Ikehara said, smiling as Sugiyama headed off towards the locker rooms. "Congratulations to you, too, Matsuoka. For meeting your goal." He gave Rin a warm, knowing look.

"Thanks!" Rin grinned.

-x-

Rin and Haru wore their matching silver medals as they left the stands after watching Captain Ikehara's gold medal race.

Takara was getting a piggy back ride from Mikoshiba ahead of them, her loose black hair swinging as she held her gold medal from the 200 IM up high. "Karaoke tonight!"

Rin cocked a brow. "We're going back to the NTC. We still have curfew."

"Takara has her own machine," Haru said.

 _Oh, fucking fantastic._ "You'd think she'd be better at the English in that case."

"I _heard_ that, Matsuoka." Takara twisted around just far enough to glare at him. "It's _on_ , honey. Best of three—all English songs!"

Rin snorted. "If you're in the mood to get trounced, Sakamoto. What's the prize this time?"

Takara smirked, glancing at Haru.

Haru met her gaze. "We could skip all the singing and I'll just kiss him now. That would be faster."

Rin's face warmed. _Does it count as one of the five if it's a bet?_

Takara grinned, sliding down from Mikoshiba's back. "Until recently, I never would've guessed you had a sassy side, Haruka." She lowered her voice to a purr, coming over and slipping an arm around Haru's neck. "I like it. It's really sexy."

Rin inhaled—

Haru batted her arm away. "Save it, Takara."

Takara chuckled and backed off. "For later, you mean?"

Haru rolled his eyes. "Or never."

Mikoshiba laughed. "Good one, Nanase." At his side, Momo was wide-eyed, watching.

They emerged from the sloped corridor into a hall; Makoto and Sousuke were waiting along with other supporters and fans.

"Haru, Rin, congrats!" Makoto waved at them.

Before he or Haru could respond, Takara slipped through the crowd of people. "Sousuke!"

Sousuke was leaning against the wall in his _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirt and designer jeans, his hands tucked into his pockets. He didn't move to greet Takara, just gave her a mild look that had her skidding to a stop, outside of arm's reach.

Takara's face shuttered in a heartbeat. She halted her advance and spun away, moving off without a word.

 _What the fuck was that about?_ Rin frowned and he wasn't the only one who reacted. Makoto's face clouded with concern, Haru went still.

Rin looked at his best friend…

Sousuke's smile belied the fury simmering in his emerald eyes. "Rin, can we talk for a sec? …Outside maybe?"

Rin shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket. "Yeah. Sure."

He left the rest of his team, following Sousuke down an adjacent corridor…

-x-

It was sunny and clear outside, early evening, and warm enough that Rin shed his warmup jacket, tying it around his waist. He wore one of his team-issued T-shirts beneath, a steel gray V-neck with the JOC logo and slashes of white. They were on the south side of the stadium, near the service exits and loading dock.

Sousuke had dropped the false smile as soon as they were alone; Rin stood a few paces away, taking in his best friend's taut muscles, the tense cords in his neck.

"Rin, what the fuck was that?" Sousuke's voice was low, rage barely held at bay.

 _We're not doing this, Sousuke._ Rin kept his tone calm. "What are you talking about?"

"You." Angry green eyes fastened on him, accusing. "Throwing the fifty free."

He felt it like a gut punch, felt the retort rising. Rin stuffed it down. "I didn't."

"The hell you didn't!" Sousuke's voice rose slightly. "Swimming like you didn't fucking care."

Rin exhaled carefully. "The fly was more important."

Sousuke's eyes narrowed, his large hands curling into fists at his sides. "You never used to be like this. _Every_ race was important to you. You gave it your all _every_ time. But now…" Sousuke's face darkened. "Now, you're being flighty and fickle. That's not _you_ , Rin. That's _him._ " His voice was colored with pure derision.

Rin stiffened with anger. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup pants to keep from doing something stupid. "Sousuke…"

"You could've had gold in the free and shown everyone how amazing you are." Sousuke took a step forward, his voice rising steadily in volume. "Instead, you gave away the podium and settled for a silver in the fly… All because you're still hung up on the fucking relay!"

It was like a slap in the face and Rin's breath seethed through his teeth. His hands coiled tightly in his pockets; he quivered with angry hurt, wanting to let Sousuke have it— But he caught himself after one step, the wind running through their hair, rustling their T-shirts. _I can't_. He stared at the Japanese flag on Sousuke's T-shirt. _I'm in uniform; I'm representing Japan._ Rin shook himself hard, drawing a slow breath. "Calm down. I'm not getting into this shit with you right now."

Sousuke flinched with realization. He went silent, his jaw grinding as he backed down. When he next spoke, his voice was controlled. "You're going to regret it. If you come home from Rio with nothing because you were too stubborn—"

Rin heard footsteps. "Matsuoka."

 _Mikoshiba_. The guy was using his captain's voice.

"Yeah," Rin said. "I'm coming."

Mikoshiba waited.

Rin lifted his gaze to his best friend. He forced the words out, even though it hurt like hell— "It's not your dream, Sousuke."

Sousuke's face contorted with pain and Rin turned away quickly, a hot ache running through his chest.

"See you later," he said, his voice hoarse as he walked the few steps necessary to join Mikoshiba.

Rin's former captain had his arms folded across his matching gray T-shirt, a stern look in his golden eyes.

Rin exhaled as they rounded the corner of the building, heading towards the others. "…Thanks." He pressed his lips. "I guess you promised my sister, huh?"

Mikoshiba shrugged. "Anyone could've seen that train wreck coming."

Rin sighed. _Yeah. You're right._

They joined the rest of their teammates down by the curb, boarding the buses.

Haru was standing off to one side with Makoto, his warmup jacket unzipped over his T-shirt. His eyes fastened onto Rin, cold like arctic waters…but when their gazes met, Haru's face clouded with concern. Rin looked away, swallowing around the lump in his throat. He got in line to get on the bus.

"Haru, text me when you get home tomorrow, OK?" Makoto said.

"I will."

Rin climbed the stairs and headed to the back of the bus, claiming an empty seat and staring out the window with his gear bag in his lap. When Haru sat next to him, Rin didn't move. He couldn't. His eyes burned, his face was probably red and he was going to fucking lose it if he didn't concentrate with everything he had…

 _We clash a lot. It's not like we've never fought before._ Rin looked out at the buildings flashing by and the bright blue sky. He usually wouldn't get this worked up. But lately…this time… _I'm not sure if our friendship's gonna make it._ The realization was crushing and Rin covered his face with one hand, just trying to breathe and _hold it the fuck together_ —

Haru's hand curled around his, down against the seats.

Rin sucked air through his teeth, adjusting so that he was gripping Haru's hand. Haru squeezed back and Rin shut his eyes tightly, fighting the feelings he didn't want to feel.

-x-

Dinner was subdued—Rin didn't feel like talking and Takara was abnormally quiet also. Captain Ikehara was off with the coaches for another meeting. Of the others, Momo was oblivious to the mood at the table, happily scarfing his food and desserts. Mikoshiba was staring off into the distance, dreamy-eyed, and Haru was just eating.

"Taka-chan!" Ozawa Yumi, the brunette two-time Olympian, stopped by their table, still wearing her gold medal from the women's 200m breaststroke.

"Ah, Yumi-chan…" Takara stretched, looking up at her friend.

"I've got just the thing for that face," Yumi said, and leaned close, lowering her voice. "Koda-kun and I smuggled in a couple of six packs…"

Takara's face lit up. "Yumi! You're a lifesaver." She popped up, grabbing her tray of half-eaten food.

"You brought your karaoke machine, right?"

"You know I did!" The girls wandered off, chatting.

Rin forced himself to choke down most of his food, then pushed his tray away.

"Done?" Haru asked.

"Yeah."

Haru nodded, getting up.

They left Momo sneaking bites of food off his brother's plate.

Ikehara was still at his meeting when they got back to their room. Just inside the door, Rin drew his arms around Haru's shoulders from behind, pressing his face into Haru's hair. _Haru._

Haru reached up, grasping his arms lightly, pressing a kiss to his right arm.

Rin sighed raggedly as Haru's calm washed through him, as he slowly started to relax. He tightened the embrace, not willing to let his fight with Sousuke ruin this moment or any other. _We don't have much time left before you leave._ He kissed Haru below his left ear, on the edge of his jaw, and felt Haru's gentle inhale.

"Makoto's helping you pack tomorrow, right?" Rin asked.

"Yeah. I promised him…"

Rin wasn't about to get in the middle of that. Makoto needed time with Haru, too—time to say goodbye. "What time do you have to leave home on Tuesday?"

Haru paused. "6pm should be good. It's a late flight."

"…How about dinner, early? I'll cook."

Haru turned his head, glancing back over his shoulder. "What time?"

Rin shrugged. "Four? Or whenever you're done with stuff."

Haru drew a breath and Rin knew the mountain of things to do and errands to run before leaving was weighing on Haru's mind. "Yeah. Your place?"

He nodded. "So you don't have to worry about dishes or anything."

Haru's eyes warmed. "OK."

Rin smiled.

Captain Ikehara returned not long after that. The three of them spent the next hour cleaning up their stuff in preparation for checking out in the morning.

Haru packed halfway and then started puttering around on his laptop.

Rin folded his dirty laundry so everything would fit better into his luggage. He took care packing his formal suit into its garment bag.

"Rin, can you make this in your oven?"

He finished what he was doing and came over, sitting on the edge of Haru's bed and peering at the laptop screen.

The picture was vibrant with color—a fillet of mackerel over a bed of roasted potato, tomato, and onion. Haru was using the auto-translate function in his browser; it was a Spanish recipe for baked mackerel.

Rin glanced over the ingredients and prep, the translation awkward in places, but, "Seems straight forward." He cocked a brow. "How'd you find this?"

"I searched for _caballa receta._ "

" _Receta?_ "

"It means recipe in Spanish."

Rin smiled. "Haru, you're really getting good at this."

Haru's eyes warmed with pleasure.

"Send me a copy, so I can get everything tomorrow."

Haru nodded.

Ikehara set his bags down near the door.

Rin looked up, surprised to see their captain dressed in street clothes, as if he were headed out.

"Matsuoka-kun, I'll see you in a few weeks, I guess," the guy said. "Nanase-kun…see you at Narita Tuesday night."

Rin blinked. "You're leaving tonight?"

Ikehara smiled. "I begged and pleaded with Coach Fujino, since my family's in town and we're the first to ship out. Maekawa-sensei is upstairs; she'll make sure things don't get too out of hand." He shouldered his bags, waving as he headed out the door. "Good luck with your comps, Matsuoka."

"Thanks," Rin said. "You too."

"Don't be late on Tuesday, Nanase."

"Ah."

The door closed, leaving them alone…

Rin glanced at the clock, considering… It was just after 8:30pm.

Haru closed his laptop. "We had a long day of competition. It's not too early to go to bed."

"You read my mind," Rin said, getting up and grabbing his stuff for the bathroom.

…Ten minutes later, he was dressed for bed in his tank top and sleep pants, waiting as Haru stripped down to his boxer briefs and then pulled on Rin's shark T-shirt.

Haru paused, glancing at him aside. "Your bed or mine?"

Rin's face warmed. "Yours," he said, grabbing the pillow off his bed.

Haru drew back the covers and climbed into bed, making room. Rin slipped in after, arranging their pillows while Haru killed the lights. They hadn't drawn the blackout curtains, so the room was bathed in moonlight, highlighting the planes of Haru's face and his hair with silver.

Rin laid back, his heart running rapid in his chest as Haru covered them with the blankets and settled beside him. They curled towards each other, their legs tangling from the knees down. Rin's breath caught as Haru's warm fingers threaded into his hair.

"Is this OK?" Haru asked.

"Yeah," Rin said, his face burning. He ducked his head as he slid an arm around Haru's chest, resting his cheek against Haru's collarbone. "…Is this?"

"…Yeah," Haru said, exhaling. His fingers continued to slowly card through Rin's hair.

Rin closed his eyes. It took an abnormally long time to fall asleep…but he savored every moment of having Haru with him.

* * *

Tuesday, May 24th, 2016

* * *

Rin was just sliding the baking dish into the oven when the knock sounded at his door. Brushing back a section of hair that had escaped his ponytail, he started the timer and went to let Haru in. It hit him again—in the throat this time—when he saw Haru standing there with his suitcase. _Eight fucking weeks—_

"…Hey," he managed.

"Hey." Haru was wearing a blue dolphin T-shirt with black pants and red athletic shoes. He carried a messenger bag with a jacket slung over top. His black hair had been freshly trimmed.

"You got a haircut."

Haru pursed his lips, looking self-conscious. "It was getting long."

"…Guess I'd better do that, too," Rin said, standing aside to let him in. "Want help with anything?"

"Nah, it's OK." Haru rolled his suitcase into the entryway, stepping out of his shoes and leaving his stuff in a pile as Rin closed the door.

Rin swallowed, hesitating. There was still more to do for dinner, but… He turned, reaching out—

Haru's eyes widened and went liquid. Suddenly Haru was hugging him tightly, Haru's face pressed into Rin's hair, his fingertips warm through the fabric of Rin's tank top.

Rin closed his eyes against a hot rush of emotion. _Haru—_ He circled Haru with his arms, exhaling in a shudder. He didn't have any words for how much this fucking sucked…

It was a few minutes before they parted.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck. "Can you help with the _saba_?"

"Yeah," Haru said, his face slightly pink.

They worked side-by-side in the kitchen, in silence, Rin prepping a side salad while Haru deftly filleted the fish Rin had gotten earlier at the fish market. The rice cooker was already going. The apartment slowly filled with the aroma of roasted vegetables and garlic.

When the timer went off for the oven, Rin withdrew the baking dish, adding a cup of white wine per the recipe.

"That's real wine?" Haru asked.

Rin nodded, emptying the tiny bottle. "Mikoshiba agreed to buy it when I told him it was just for cooking." He slid the dish back into the oven and reset the timer. "…I wanted it to be authentic."

Haru's eyes softened.

In short order, Haru had two perfect fillets, seasoning them with salt and ground, white pepper.

Rin grabbed dishes and cutlery. "What do you want to drink? Iced tea?"

"Decaf?"

"Of course."

They added the fillets to the baking dish, getting everything else on the table while the fish cooked. When the final timer went off, they crowded around the oven as Rin pulled the dish out. The fish was opaque, lightly browned and piping hot.

"It smells like food," Haru said.

" _Tch_. Haru." Rin set the dish on the stove and grabbed a spatula.

They carried their plates to the _kotatsu_ , their places set with small bowls of rice, salad, and glasses of tea.

Rin sat cross-legged on Haru's right, waiting…

" _Itadakimasu_ …" Haru lifted his fork, gathering a bite of fish with bits of roasted potato and onion. He ate, chewing thoughtfully and slowly.

"…Well?"

Haru swallowed and glanced at him warmly. "It's good, Rin."

Rin inhaled, fighting a rush of emotion. He grabbed his fork.

-x-

It was nearing five thirty when they filled the sink with their dishes.

"Just leave it," Rin said. "I'll clean everything later."

Haru nodded.

Rin washed and dried his hands. "You want hot tea? Or…?"

"Bath," Haru said, walking away and already stripping off his T-shirt.

"OK." Rin followed.

-x-

Rin climbed into the tepid water, in his leg skins, scooting forward and making room while Haru settled behind him. His eyes widened as Haru's arms twined around him, drawing him back… But any thought of protest died in his throat when Haru exhaled shakily into his hair, a tremor running through Haru's frame that had nothing to do with desire. Rin covered Haru's arms with his own, letting Haru hug him. All the language prep and reassurances in the world wouldn't make actually leaving any easier. Rin closed his eyes as Haru's arms tightened.

…6pm came way too fucking soon. Rin finished changing in the bathroom, coming out to find Haru already dressed and wearing another one of his T-shirts—this one heather gray with BONDI BEACH in blue lettering down the left side of the chest.

"I'm borrowing this," Haru said as he bagged his damp jammers and packed them away.

"Yeah. Go for it."

Haru carried his messenger bag to the entryway, setting it on top of his suitcase.

A lump formed in Rin's throat as he watched Haru slip his shoes on. _Haru—_ The moment was here—the one he'd been dreading for days now. "Let…let me come to the airport with you," he said, his voice coming out hoarse.

Haru shook his head as he tied his shoes. "No, let's just say goodbye here. I can't…"

 _I fucking hate goodbyes!_ Rin gritted his teeth, joining Haru in the entryway, fighting to hold it together. "Text me when you get there. I don't care what time it is."

"I will," Haru said, straightening—

Rin flung his arms around Haru's shoulders, crushing their bodies together.

" _Rin_ …" Haru's voice was ragged, his arms circling Rin's waist and squeezing so tightly that it was hard to breathe.

_I can't fucking do this. I can't…I can't let you go—_

Rin's mind blanked at the press of Haru's lips against the edge of his jaw, just below his right ear. Haru's arms loosened slightly, one of his hands curling around the back of Rin's neck and tangling into his hair. Rin forgot how to breathe. He slid his hands up until his fingertips were buried in the silky, smooth strands of Haru's hair.

Haru drew back and for a second their eyes met, Haru's breaths warm against Rin's lips. There were a hundred things swimming in the liquid depths of Haru's gaze. He couldn't begin to parse it all…but he saw himself reflected there against the blue—his crumpled face torn by grief and longing.

" _Haru—_ "

The gap between their mouths suddenly vanished and Haru was kissing him… Rin's heart shattered inside him, coming apart like a thousand _sakura_ petals flung to the wind. The kiss was firm—not tentative, not gentle—full of mutual passion with an undercurrent of raw need borne by the pain of their impending separation. It was supposed to be five kisses before it wasn't like they were kids anymore, but Rin knew as he gripped Haru's hair…they'd already crossed that line. What he felt for Haru was no longer childish and innocent, though it wasn't merely lust either. _Haru…_ Rin melted into the kiss, feeling a sigh run through Haru's throat, the pressure softening against his lips as Haru's fingers slid deeper into his hair—

Then Haru let go, drawing back, his hair slipping like silk through Rin's grasp. Rin was breathless, his face hot, his heart pounding… He met Haru's gaze and inhaled at the staggering affection he saw in ocean-blue eyes, soaking in that look like his life depended on it…until Haru's face clouded and he pulled himself from Rin's arms.

Haru turned away without another word. Rin stood there paralyzed, his lips tingling from Haru's kiss, the pain so thick it was hard to catch his breath as Haru gathered his bags and left…

The door closed.

Rin slumped against the wall, listening to Haru's retreating footsteps and the sound his suitcase made, rolling across the floor…until Haru was gone.

 _Fuck!_ Rin's eyes burned. He scrubbed a hand over his face in a vain attempt to hold himself together…then gave up, slamming his palm against the wall. Who the fuck cared if he fell apart now? Two months, sixty days…it felt like a lifetime. Rin staggered back into the main room of his apartment, ignoring the sinkful of dishes as he headed for the bed. He yanked the covers back…and went still, seeing blue.

Rin picked up the folded garment—Haru's blue dolphin T-shirt. He sucked air, glancing at the door— _You forgot—_ But before he took one step, he stopped himself. No. Haru hadn't forgotten his favorite T-shirt—not _folded_ and tucked beneath the comforter.

 _Haru_. Rin dropped down onto the bed, clutching the T-shirt in his arms, the scent of the fabric familiar, chlorine and… _You knew._ He leaned back against the wall as tears slipped from his eyes, tasting the salty droplets and Haru on his lips.


	12. 50 meter knock-out free, Part 1

Haru rolled his suitcase over the sidewalk, feeling every crack and dip in the concrete. With his other hand, he clutched the strap of his messenger bag against his chest, his knuckles whitening as he gripped it harder, like it was something he could hold onto as he slogged on. But it really didn't help at all. There was only one block between Rin's apartment and the subway station—just one residential block lined with apartment buildings and tiny shops. Bicyclists and pedestrians were moving around him—unhindered and oblivious to the effort it took him to put one foot in front of the other. He _had_ to keep moving, even though the fear was rising in his throat and the taste of Rin's kiss was fading from his lips… If he stopped, he might not take another step.

 _And I have to. For my dream…our dream… I can do this, I have to…_ But his steps were slowing even as he told himself that, his eyes starting to sting, the gray of the sidewalk blurring in front of his feet—

His phone trilled. Haru paused, drawing a deep breath. He maneuvered his suitcase off to the side, stopped between a flower shop and a ramen stand, and fished the device from his pants pocket. He stared through two full rings at the name displayed in katakana characters, hesitating. _Because I said I could do this on my own._ But—

Haru swallowed, accepting the call and lifting the phone to his ear. _Makoto_ … No sound came out when he tried to speak.

" _Are you on the train yet, Haru?"_ Makoto asked.

"…No."

His best friend sighed, Haru hearing Makoto's gentle smile in the sound. "…I didn't think so." The voice came to him both through the phone and in person, as a pair of blue athletic shoes stopped on the concrete Haru was staring at.

Haru looked up, his eyes widening at Makoto standing in front of him. The wind brushed tawny strands of hair across Makoto's brow and sent ripples through his shirt sleeves.

Haru rubbed his face with the back of his hand, quickly erasing all evidence of moisture. "Makoto…what are you doing here?"

Makoto smiled, slipping his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. "Making sure you get to the airport." He pulled the suitcase from Haru's grasp. "Come on." Makoto turned without waiting for a response, starting off in the direction of the station.

Haru inhaled, the air feeling thick in his throat, and followed.

-x-

"Rin didn't want to come to the airport with you?" Makoto asked as they disembarked at Narita Airport, Terminal 1.

"He did," Haru said, getting out his ID for the checkpoint ahead. "I told him not to." _I thought it would be easier this way, but I don't know._ It hurt, thinking of the way Rin had looked at him, all that raw grief and emotion, knowing there was nothing he could do to make it better. _I didn't want him to go home crying._

Makoto nodded.

After the checkpoint, they boarded the first of several escalators to get to the departure lobby on the fourth floor.

"Where are you meeting everyone?" Makoto asked.

Haru shrugged. "By check-in, I guess."

Makoto sighed. "Haru, give me your paperwork."

Haru pulled the folded paper from his pocket, handing it over.

Makoto read while maneuvering the suitcase onto the next section of escalator. "Fourth floor, south wing."

After getting to the fourth floor, they turned left, passing the airport mall and row upon row of check-in counters…

"Oh! There's Akagi-sensei," Makoto said, steering Haru's luggage towards the last group of check-in counters.

Assistant Coach Akagi was standing in the aisle, waving. "Nanase-kun." The guy was wearing a bomber-style jacket that was gray with red and blue, over a patterned black T-shirt and jeans. A messenger bag was slung over his shoulder, his earring glinting in the overhead lights.

Makoto got there first. "Good evening, Akagi-sensei."

"Tachibana-kun, thanks," Akagi said, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He glanced past Haru, like he was expecting to see a third person with them.

Haru didn't want to think about it. It was too hard to think of Rin right now.

Akagi cleared his throat lightly. "Ready, Nanase-kun?"

 _No._ Haru nodded.

-x-

After checking his bag, Haru followed Coach Akagi to meet the others near the line for security. Coach Fujino was there with his wife and two kids—two boys about middle-school age who were looking antsy and bored. Captain Ikehara was off to one side, hugging his daughter and kissing his wife. Haru's other teammates were Ozawa Yumiko, who'd medaled four times in London in women's breaststroke, butterfly, and medley relay, and first-time Olympian Konishi Shiori, who swam backstroke. Ozawa had brown hair perpetually drawn back into a ponytail; she was taller than Konishi, who had chin-length black hair and bangs. Both women carried stylish travel bags, chatting nonstop while they waited for everyone else to be ready.

Haru clutched his boarding pass. "Makoto…thanks."

"Sure, Haru." Makoto smiled in that easy, reassuring way that was so typical of him. "Anytime."

Emotion gathered in Haru's chest. With a breath, he fought it and reached out, wrapping his best friend in a brief hug—

"Haru—" The surprise was obvious in Makoto's voice.

He pulled away. "I'll keep in touch."

The faintest blush colored Makoto's cheeks. He smiled happily. "Whatever's easiest. Email, text… I know you don't like talking on the phone."

Haru nodded. He looked away, wanting to say more, but hesitating. Rin would be fine. He was upset now, but…

"Don't worry," Makoto said. "I'll check on him."

Haru swallowed, grateful. "Thanks, Makoto."

"And we'll be watching your races Friday night. Mikoshiba-senpai and Sakamoto-senpai already booked the usual place, so we're all going. I'll make sure Rin knows, too."

Haru looked up at his friend. "It'll be late here, with the time difference."

"It's not like we'd miss it, Haru. Even at two in the morning."

Haru gripped the strap of his messenger bag and nodded again, his throat feeling tight.

Makoto gave him a warm look, like everything was going to be OK. "Have a good trip."

Haru inhaled. "I'm off, then." He turned towards the line, waving.

Makoto waved back.

Haru joined Coach Akagi and the others.

Captain Ikehara was still saying goodbye. As soon as he moved to hand his daughter back to his wife, the little girl started crying.

"Mana-chan, wave 'bye-bye' to Daddy," Chiyo said, smiling through her tears and helping Mana wave. "Wave 'bye-bye.'"

Haru watched as Ikehara finally pulled himself away, his face shuttered and eyes reddened. He got in line, carrying his backpack and a light jacket, the sleeve of his polo shirt wet from his daughter's tears. Without speaking, he waved at his family…

It was…nice, not being the only one having a hard time. Though maybe 'nice' wasn't really the right word. Haru's other teammates seemed eager, his coaches were sort of 'business as usual.' But when Haru thought back to the way Rin had been looking at him—the crumpled face, the pain bright in garnet eyes… His chest tightened. Just imagining it made it a little hard to breathe. He found Makoto in the crowd—Makoto who was still wearing that same, reassuring smile and waving.

Haru waved back, one last time, before heading out of sight.

-x-

Captain Ikehara was atypically subdued as they went through security. Haru hung back with him, preferring the quiet to Ozawa and Konishi's excited chatter. They were on the other side, gathering up their carry-on items, when Ikehara took a deep breath and looked at him.

"It doesn't get easier," Ikehara said, his voice a little rough as he shouldered his backpack.

Haru nodded.

They caught up with the others, heading through passport control before merging with the streams of travelers browsing the shops or heading to and from the various gates. Flight announcements played from overhead speakers in Japanese and English. Ozawa and Konishi were ahead of them, conversing nonstop and eyeing the glittering display windows of duty-free merchandise.

Ikehara seemed a little more relaxed now, getting into a conversation with Coach Akagi about some previous trip.

Haru followed, not really listening, just taking in the various lights and colors…

"Nanase-kun." Coach Fujino dropped back to walk with him. Fujino wore a casual blazer with a collared shirt and khaki pants. He carried a leather messenger bag. "Is it finally starting to feel real?"

Haru met his coach's gaze. "Is what starting to feel real?"

Fujino smiled. "This." He waved a hand, indicating their surroundings. "All of it. Getting out into the world, realizing your dream."

Haru drew a slow breath, not answering right away.

"I haven't forgotten what you said, when I asked you why you wanted to join the Koutei team."

 _That was more than a year ago. I don't remember. How come you remember?_ In winter of their senior year in high school, he and Makoto had come to Tokyo for a few days, visiting the Koutei campus. Following up on a scouting invitation, that was when Haru first met Coach Fujino and his staff...

"After you said, 'I only swim free…'" Fujino chuckled, his expression warm with amusement. "You said your goal was to be fast enough to swim in the Olympics."

Haru blinked, his steps slowing. _I did say that…_

Fujino slowed with him and they came to a stop, the stream of people parting around them like water. "So? You're doing it, Nanase-kun. Is it everything you hoped it would be?"

 _Rin's not—_ But the thought slipped away as Haru stood there looking at his coach, thinking over the past month and a half… So much had happened. He remembered that first morning at Tatsumi during the Olympic Trials, locking eyes with Rin from across the stadium… He was almost afraid it wasn't real, back then, that if he blinked Rin would vanish again like a phantom or a daydream. _But then we swam together and raced together…_ The 200m free had shattered him—the thought of going to Rio without Rin—but the 100m free had been everything he wanted and more. Suddenly they were on the same team again, training together for the first time in years…

 _I would've been happy, just swimming with you again._ But his memories didn't end there, receding like a wave only to be replace by another. He'd lost count of the times Rin had hugged him or wrapped an arm around him, and shown him the smile that he loved—the one Rin always wore as a kid. Those simple gestures had grown into so much more, now, as he thought of reddened cheeks and shared looks that were, by turns, tender with affection and charged with desire. Haru's face warmed. He clutched the strap of his bag against his chest, thinking of baths, meals, and naps… _And you promised we'd go to Sydney for Christmas…and you said you wanted 'Someday.'_ A restless feeling stirred inside him and it was so much better than just swimming together.

Haru inhaled, gathering himself to answer the expectant look on Coach Fujino's face. "Yeah, it is," he said, admitting it to someone else for the first time. "And a lot more." _More than I ever could've asked for._

Fujino's smile softened into a kind of fatherly satisfaction. It was different from the way Haru's dad looked when he said he was proud—similar, but different. Haru knew his dad was happy about his swimming, but it was still 'only a sport' and he was expected to grow up and eventually get a real job…

Fujino reached over, resting a hand on Haru's shoulder, giving a little squeeze. "Good. I'm glad."

It got easier then, Haru feeling himself start to relax—the tension in his body to begin to unravel—as he thought about his dream with Rin that was better than a dream, and the people who were with him, that they _understood_.

"Let's catch up, hmm?" Fujino said, adjusting the strap of his leather messenger bag and moving back into the flow of traffic.

"OK."

-x-

They arrived at the gate and it was night beyond the windows, but the tarmac was bathed in light, gleaming off the fuselages of aircraft, cargo loaders, luggage carts… Their plane was at the gate, a white Airbus 340 with red engine cowls and a blue tail with _SAS_ in large, white letters.

There were a few minutes before they had to board and Haru perched himself at the window with the airplane behind him, taking out his phone. He logged onto Skype…Rin wasn't on. Not that he expected Rin would be.

Haru exhaled, tapping out a text message. _[Get on Skype.]_

And he waited, sitting on the edge of the window sill as far from the crowds as he could get. He took a selfie with the airplane in the background just for good measure. In case Rin really decided to ignore him—

The phone buzzed in his hand…Haru tapped the button to answer.

The audio and video connected—

" _Don't tell me you missed your fucking plane._ " Rin was scowling into the phone, his hair askew like he'd been lying down and his face was a little red. He was sitting on his bed in his room in the same tank top from earlier.

"No. We're boarding soon," Haru said.

Rin's face hardened. " _Then why are you calling?_ " His eyes said it all—screaming it— _I can't say goodbye again._

 _Sorry, Rin._ "Because I had to tell you something." _Something I just realized._

Rin shoved his free hand through his hair, the video feed jostling as he moved. " _Well, get on with it then. I'm listening_."

Haru drew a breath, looking squarely at Rin's face. "Rin, I'm going on ahead. So you can aim for me."

Rin went still, his reddened eyes going wide—

Haru felt it—that warm glow welling up inside him. He didn't bother hiding it from his eyes, even though it made him blush to think it—that he loved Rin. _I'd tell you if I didn't think you'd freak out. Maybe someday you won't._ "I'll be waiting for you to catch up."

The video feed shook as Rin's face crumpled, but his expression wasn't grief this time. Scarlet eyes glistened with liquid, glittering trails spilling across Rin's cheeks and Haru wished he were there to brush them away. "… _Fuck_." Rin's voice was a tortured whispered. " _The fuck, Haru. That you'd say stuff like that when I can't even…can't even…_ " He trailed off, scrubbing a hand hastily over his face.

"It's a verbal hug, Rin," Haru said. "I promise you a real one the next time we're together."

" _You bet your ass you will!_ "

Haru lowered the volume quickly. People around him were starting to give him weird looks. He cleared his throat. "Uh, Rin—"

" _Oh, like I give a shit if I embarrass you. After what you just said._ " Rin's face was flushed bright red and he was still shoving away tears.

 _But you're happy. I know you are._ Haru smiled to himself. _I didn't like the way I left you—other than that kiss— So this…this is better._

"—Nanase-kun?" Akagi was waving to him, as boarding started.

Haru nodded in acknowledgement, looking back into his phone. "I gotta go. We're boarding."

Rin sniffed hard and looked at him, glaring mildly. " _Yeah, go. Safe flights._ "

"I'll text you later. …Bye, Rin."

Rin just nodded, like he didn't trust himself to speak.

Haru held Rin's gaze for a few extra seconds…then brushed his thumb over the screen to end the call. He was battling emotion of his own as he got up, gathering his bag and jacket, and went to join the line.

* * *

Wednesday, May 25th, 2016

* * *

"Nanase-kun?"

"Hmm?" Haru stirred, yawning and rubbing his eyes, shifting beneath the thin airplane blanket. His left shoulder was stiff and cold from leaning up against the sidewall by the window.

The lights in the cabin were still off, though the aisle way ceilings were lit in soft hues of orange, pink, and blue—like sunrise. Ikehara was next to him, in the aisle seat in the 2-4-2 economy cabin, tucking a paperback book into the seat pocket in front of him. The captain's eyes were shadowed with fatigue.

"I envy that you just slept for eight hours." Ikehara smiled faintly, stretching against the seat. "They're serving breakfast."

"Oh." Haru straightened up, moving in the cramped seat as best he could. He lifted the window shade…the moon was a brilliant crescent low in the sky, suspended in a dusky blue that melted into an orange glow on the horizon. There was land far below them in the distance—a jagged shoreline, the terrain tipped with rosy hues. "It's morning?"

"Not even close," Ikehara said.

Haru raised the window shade a little further and pointed. "But…" _It's light out._

"We're north and it's summer time. This is the darkest it'll get all night." The captain stifled a yawn. "You've never been?"

Haru shook his head, turning again to the window. "It's my first time." He watched for a moment longer as the landscape slowly passed below, underneath a twilight sky that would never be dark enough for stars… It was beautiful and different. _I wish you were here to see this with me._ Haru's fingers curled into the blanket in his lap. _If you were here…you'd be leaning on me all tired… With your arms around me and your chin on my shoulder… You said you can't sleep on planes, but you'd be relaxed and we'd be looking at this together…_ Haru exhaled lightly, feeling Rin's absence acutely, wishing he could—

 _Oh._ Haru settled the blanket at his waist, reaching down beneath the seat in front of him for his messenger bag. He pulled out his camera case, searching the window pane for the clearest area while he attached the lens to the camera body and switched the device on.

"You've got legit equipment," Ikehara said.

Haru glanced down at his camera and open case, shrugging. "I'm an art major." He disabled the flash and switched the manual focus, playing around with the aperture and a few other settings as he took a couple of test shots. _Hmm…the reflection from the glass…_ Haru got out his lens hood and installed it. _Better._ He snapped several more shots, including a few close-ups of the waning moon, until he was satisfied. Rin would like the picture. It wasn't as good as seeing it together, but…

When the flight attendant's cart stopped next to them in the aisle, Haru tucked his camera away and lowered his tray table.

The male crew member in navy blue suiting handed them trays. " _Here's breakfast_ ," he said in English. " _Can I get you gentlemen anything to drink? Coffee, tea, or water?_ "

" _Just water for me, thanks_ ," Ikehara said.

Haru pressed his lips. " _Do you have decaf?_ "

" _Coffee?_ " the crewmember asked.

Haru shook his head. " _Tea?_ "

" _I don't have decaf, but I can get you herbal tea, if that's what you'd like. We have a chamomile-mint or an orange blossom_."

Haru inhaled, his brow furrowing as he tried to process the English.

Ikehara translated.

Haru's cheeks warmed. " _The mint one, please_."

" _Sure_." The crewmember smiled.

"Thank you," Haru murmured to his captain.

Ikehara nodded.

" _Here you go. It's hot so please be careful_."

Haru accepted the cup and teabag. " _Thank you_."

" _You're very welcome_." The crew member turned to address the passengers on the other side.

"Just don't ask me to translate Norwegian for you," Ikehara said as he opened a package containing a napkin and plastic cutlery.

"I learned a couple things." Haru studied the items on his tray. There was a covered cup of orange juice, blueberry yogurt, a bread roll with fruit preserves, and some other packages of various shapes that he couldn't read at all. The small flat packet was cheese…maybe they were all cheese.

"Like what?"

Haru tore open the plastic package, removing the cutlery and spreading his napkin in his lap. " _God dag. Jeg heter Haruka Nanase._ " He paused. " _Jeg bare svømme fri."_

Ikehara looked at him suspiciously, cocking a brow. "Does that last one mean what I think it means?"

Haru pursed his lips. "I only swim—"

Ikehara rolled his eyes. "Eat your breakfast, Nanase."

-x-

The flight landed in Copenhagen, Denmark, coming in over the water under that same indigo sky. Haru took more photos until the vibrations in the airframe made things irritating, then he sat back for the smooth touchdown and the taxiing that followed. The connection was short; between immigration and a quick stop off at the bathroom, Haru didn't see much of Copenhagen's airport before he was seated on the next airplane—a Boeing 737—with Ikehara and Coach Akagi, on a flight from Copenhagen to Oslo, Norway.

Ikehara let him have the window seat again. The sun rose during the short flight and Haru got his first glimpse of Norway—tree-lined shores and water…then, inland it was fields, roads, and small buildings. Not skyscrapers like in Tokyo; it reminded him a little more of home—Iwatobi… They were sitting just aft of the wing and Haru took photos of the sunrise.

Just over an hour after their departure from Denmark, the aircraft kissed the runway in Norway and Haru looked out across the wing as the spoilers popped up and the plane decelerated. It was a clear, sunny morning without any trace of clouds.

As they deplaned, Haru slipped his jacket on—the jetway was cold, so much colder than the balmy Tokyo evening when he'd left Rin's apartment. There was one more flight to go. Despite having slept on the first flight overseas, he didn't feel rested at all. His messenger bag was starting to feel heavy.

They got to the next gate and Haru dropped into a chair with a sigh. His travel mates seemed just as weary; Ozawa and Konishi, in particular, were dragging themselves around. They had a slightly longer layover this time—thirty minutes until he needed to be up and moving again. Haru took out his phone, clicking through the standard alert messages for roaming voice, text, and data rates and looked for wireless…

He trudged through the English instructions and got connected, tapping out a message to Rin. _[I'm in Oslo, between flights.]_ He followed up with messages to Makoto and his mom. It was…noon, back home? Haru leaned back against the chair, looking up at the ceiling. Rin could be home. If he got done with training and ate lunch already. He could be resting, even napping.

Haru closed his eyes, thinking of the other night, after the last events of the Japan Open, when they'd had their room at the training center all to themselves. Even though it was just cuddling, it was satisfying in ways he couldn't put words to—being that intimate with Rin. He wanted a lot more—of course he did, but waiting until they were both ready was important and he wasn't in any rush to—

The phone trilled softly in his hand—a Skype call. Haru sat forward, answering. The video and audio connected—

Haru's breath caught at burgundy hair spilled across a white pillowcase, the blue of his dolphin T-shirt, Rin's drowsy expression as he lay in bed with one hand flung above his head… Every innocent thought he'd just had flew right out the window.

" _Haru_."

Haru got up, leaving his teammates behind. He walked to a less crowded area and put his back against the wall. "Rin…I woke you up?"

Rin shrugged on the screen. " _I was just napping. What time is it there?_ "

"…Five am."

" _Oh_." Rin yawned, covering his mouth briefly, the feed bobbing slightly. " _It's noon here, I guess_."

Haru drew a breath. "Rin."

" _Hm?_ "

"Do you usually Skype from bed?"

Rin pushed his hand into his hair, his eyes focusing a little more. " _No_." His brows lifted. " _Should I get up?_ "

Haru shook his head. _It's a nice view._ He was tempted to take a screen capture…

A flush crept into Rin's cheeks. " _How were your flights?_ "

He shrugged. "I slept through most of the first one. The second one was short. One more to go."

Rin sighed. " _Lucky_." There were deep shadows beneath his eyes.

"You look tired, Rin. I should let you sleep."

Rin's face creased into a frown. " _You don't look that great either_."

_Yeah, well, I've been traveling for eighteen hours and I'm not done yet—_

" _Coach Maekawa made me do descending 500's this morning. I'm pretty wiped._ "

Haru cringed inwardly. _Glad I missed that._

They lapsed into silence then, just looking at each other. Usually silence between them was fine—normal—and Haru liked it…but for whatever reason it felt awkward like this.

"We're weird on the phone."

" _Tch, Haru. You're weird_ —" Rin stopped, exhaling. " _I guess_."

"Since most of our communication is non-verbal. And swimming."

" _Haru, I know. I get it_."

The shortness in Rin's voice made him pause. "…You're cranky because you're tired?"

" _I'm cranky because you're not here, idiot!_ "

Haru relaxed. "Oh."

Rin rolled his eyes. "' _Oh,' he says_ …"

"Rin, I miss you already."

Rin's face tightened. " _Fuck. Haru_ —"

"Sorry," he murmured.

" _Don't apologize for that_." Rin's face reddened. He paused, his next words coming out quiet. " _I miss you, too_."

Haru smiled. "Rin—" _I didn't think you'd actually say it._

" _Haru, don't. Not the pool eyes_."

_I can't help it. I'm happy._

Rin grunted, rubbing a hand over his face. It ended with him yawning. The bruises beneath Rin's eyes looked deeper than just one hard workout…

"Go back to sleep, Rin."

"… _OK_." He moved his hand, shifting against the bed. " _Text me later?_ "

Haru nodded. "Yeah." He pressed his lips briefly. "You look good in my shirt, Rin."

Rin inhaled slowly. "… _So do you_."

The screen went dark as the call ended. Haru sighed, leaning back against the wall. _It hasn't even been a whole day yet…_

-x-

Bergen was by the sea, surrounded by forested isles and dark, glossy water. After recovering their luggage and going through customs, Haru followed his coaches and teammates outside into sunlight and sea breezes. It was still cold though—too cold to swim in the ocean. They piled into a shuttle and headed northeast on a small highway, passing fields, wooded areas, and sprawling communities with huge houses. There was so much space here, even compared to home in Iwatobi.

Not twenty minutes later, they were crossing a bridge between two marinas. Haru was still trying to get used to how disorienting it was—the driving on the right-hand side of the road.

"There's the arena," Coach Fujino said from the front passenger seat. "On your right."

Haru looked out the window, across the water, just catching a glimpse of the teal and blue building with the angled roof, sitting on the north side of the bay, before other buildings and trees obscured the view. They passed under a canary-yellow highway sign that said _Sentrum_ , heading into the city. The mix of overpasses and commercial buildings felt more familiar, a little more like cities in Japan, though no buildings here were much more than a dozen stories tall and the city was surrounded by rolling hills blanketed in green trees with only a few swaths of houses here and there.

A few turns later, the shuttle took them down a narrow street and turned off in front of a thirteen-story building of beige stone and dark turquoise windows—the same color as the water Haru had seen from the plane. He tugged on the handle of his suitcase, following the others inside…

There was a coffee shop just off the entrance way. The floors were shiny white tile, the area luminous with spotlights. Beyond the coffee shop was the reception area and lobby, with a central staircase that curved both upstairs and down, the space open to the floors above and below beyond a glass barrier.

Haru waited off to the side with the other Olympians, quietly taking it all in while Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi handled check-in. It wasn't crowded like Tokyo, but there were a lot of people moving around. One floor up, it looked like there was a restaurant; he could hear the low murmur of conversation that reminded him of mealtime, over the soft music playing in the lobby. He was too tired to tell if he was really hungry or not, but he hadn't had any _saba_ in…how many hours now? Not to mention how long it'd been since he'd gotten to sit in the bath... Time was starting to blur together. Haru stifled a yawn, half-tempted to wander off to some out of the way corner and find a place to sit down. His teammates Ozawa and Konishi were leaning up against one another, looking equally tired. Ikehara was checking something on his phone.

The coaches came back, passing out little card folders to each of them.

"Your room keys and breakfast coupons," Coach Fujino said. "They're still serving food for another hour; I suggest you eat if you're hungry. Then be suited up and ready to go by 11am. We'll meet down here and head over to the arena together for our first practice."

 _Hm._ On the one hand, Haru was dead tired. On the other hand, _pool_ …

Coach Fujino smiled. "Two hours, Olympians."

-x-

Their room was on the seventh floor; Ikehara used his keycard to open the door. Inside, the room had red carpet and beige walls with darker wood accents, with a closet on the right-hand side. A door on the left presumably led into the bathroom. There was a thin window with thick drapes in a clay-brown color and two narrow beds beneath a large, glossy photo of an eagle bursting into flight against a dark background. The beds were close together—only a few centimeters apart maybe. _Huh._ Haru set his suitcase next to Ikehara's in the entryway. _I guess that's normal here._ It wasn't a single bed like in Sydney. The rest of the furnishings consisted of nightstands, a desk, a large flat screen TV, and a small fridge.

Haru opened the door to the bathroom…and exhaled with relief, seeing that there was a bath. It was a western-style bath plus shower with a half-wall of glass, but still. The counter was a dark slab with a square sink and a large mirror. …And there was one of those "simple" toilets, not a Japanese washlet. _Nn_. Three months without heated seats and warm wash water…

"Nanase-kun." Ikehara leaned in the doorway, scrubbing one hand through his short hair and looking weary. "I was thinking to take a quick shower and then head down for some breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Haru shrugged. "I could eat." _I should eat._

"You want to shower first?"

Haru shook his head. "I'll take a bath later."

Ikehara nodded. "OK. I'll just be a couple minutes. Pick whichever bed you'd like."

Haru headed back into the main part of the room. He shed his jacket finally and sat down on the bed closest to the door, setting his messenger bag aside. He pulled his phone from his pocket, thinking to log onto wireless and send Rin a message… The bed was really comfortable. Haru laid back, flipping through the English on his phone's browser, trying to find the… He heard the shower start up. He blinked and his eyelids felt so heavy—

"—Nanase." Ikehara was shaking his shoulder gently.

Haru reluctantly forced his eyes open, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do…

Captain Ikehara smiled at him sympathetically. The guy's hair was wet; he wore a change of clothes. "Come on. Breakfast."

Haru grunted and pulled himself up.

-x-

The breakfast buffet was up the staircase from the lobby, encompassing the entire floor with several different stations, a kitchen with stainless steel accents, and plenty of tables. A host greeted them, taking their breakfast coupons and seating them near the windows, the table set with cutlery and coffee mugs.

" _Would you like coffee or tea?_ " the man asked in English.

" _Coffee, please,_ " Ikehara said, the exhaustion coloring his voice.

Haru took out his folded Norwegian cheat sheet, looking for words he could use to politely decline. " _Nei, tusen takk._ "

The host brightened, gesturing towards the buffet and saying something in Norwegian that Haru didn't understand at all. Inwardly, he started to panic— The man smiled, switching back to English. " _Please enjoy yourselves. If there's anything we can assist you with, please let your server know._ "

Relaxing, Haru nodded.

"Can I see that, Nanase-kun?" Ikehara asked.

"Sure." Haru handed the paper over. "Is it OK that I go…?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna wait for my coffee."

Haru got up, joining the crowd milling around the buffet. There was a drink station against one wall with juices and milk and multiple islands containing all sorts of foods with little signs labeling each item in Norwegian with smaller English text below. Haru wandered through, passing the cold fruit, cheese, and yogurt, and the covered dishes of hot eggs and bacon. There were breads, cold cuts, raw vegetables, cereal…and fish. Haru found the salmon first—cut in paper-thin sheets of ruby lox. Alongside the salmon—Haru's eyes widened, his mouth watering—was a tray of glistening rounds of Norwegian mackerel with succulent white flesh…

Ten minutes later, he returned to the table with a plate piled high with food—predominantly _saba_ and bread, though he got vegetables too—and a glass of milk.

Ikehara set his coffee cup down, glancing at Haru's plate, and sighed. He left to get his own breakfast.

Haru took out his phone, snapping a picture of his plate to send to Rin. _Oh, I didn't yet…_ He pulled up his browser again, trying to figure out the English instructions to connect to wireless while chewing on some bread. A couple minutes later he was connected and downloading his messages…

_[Haru, you're in Bergen, right? Your plane was supposed to land an hour ago.]_

_[Haru, it's been two hours. The website says your plane landed on time…]_

_[I realize you must be tired…maybe you're asleep or something, but why the fuck haven't you texted me?!]_

_Oops._ Haru keyed a quick reply. _[Gomen. I tried to earlier but I fell asleep. I'm here. Look, I found saba.]_ He attached the photo.

Setting the phone aside, he spread his napkin in his lap and picked up his cutlery, slicing into the first piece of mackerel. The _saba_ was heavenly on his tongue, rich and oily—

His phone buzzed. _[There you are. Sorry. I got a little worked up.]_

Haru smiled. _[It's OK.]_

_[How's the saba?]_

_[It's good. I wish you were here to try it.]_ Haru paused, then typed more. _[Though it's not as good as what you cooked for me yesterday.]_

Rin didn't reply right away and Haru could imagine him getting a little bit emotional…

The response came a minute or two later _. [59 more fucking days…]_

Haru inhaled. _[Yeah.]_

-x-

By 11am, Haru was in the hotel lobby in his Team Japan warmups, still tired, but… _water…_

Coach Akagi passed out hotel business cards. "Keep this with you. In case you get separated and need to ask for directions."

Haru turned the card over in his hand. It had the hotel's name and address in Norwegian on one side and English on the other. He added it to his wallet.

Coach Fujino joined them. "Is everyone ready?" He led the way out into the late morning sun.

There wasn't any car waiting outside.

"We're walking?" Haru asked.

"It's half a kilometer," Captain Ikehara said.

"Oh." Haru looked up at the surrounding buildings and street signs. There was a parking garage across the street on his left, a curved building in front of him. The road signs were all in Norwegian. He could read the roman letters, but didn't know what any of it meant. For a moment, a cold feeling gathered in his chest, tightening his throat—

"Nanase-kun."

Haru exhaled, meeting Captain Ikehara's gaze. Everyone else had crossed the street already; only Ikehara had hung back with him.

"Stay close, OK?"

Haru nodded. "OK."

A couple more streets and then they crossed the main road, heading towards the bay. Soon, Haru could see the five-story, blue and aqua building in the distance. There were wide walking paths leading up to it, lined with grass, low shrubs, and small trees. They passed a parking lot with several buses, walked beneath a couple overpasses, and then they were standing in front of AdO Arena. The horizontal stripes in varying shades of sea colors reminded Haru of the tile in his kitchen.

Through glass doors, they entered a cavernous, two-story hall with a massive floor-to-ceiling mosaic on the left-hand wall—it was a man swimming breaststroke, each individual tile a photo of a swimmer. The right-hand wall had a timeline of swimming in Bergen starting in the 1700's and going through 2012, though the text was all in Norwegian. There was a small shop just inside the door selling gear and souvenirs and a large seating area where athletes were hanging out and eating lunch, next to a cafeteria. Everything was light and bright—sparkling glass and luminous white walls and gray tile flooring. Broad staircases led to the upper floors; the center of the room was open all the way to the roof above. And to the left, through walls and doors of glass, was the pool. They were on a level above the pool deck; through the glass Haru could just see the seating—

"Locker rooms are downstairs," Coach Akagi said, leading the way to the lower floor.

Haru stripped down to his jammers and stashed his stuff quickly, following the warm, chlorinated air out to the pool deck. For a moment, he just stopped and stared. Rin had sent him a picture of this place, but it was nothing like _being_ here. The room glowed and gleamed—all white tile and architectural skylights. The 50m pool was in the center, the water glistening, several lanes already taken by other swimmers who were practicing. The water slides and kids' pool were immediately on the left, the high dives and plunge pool on the far end. Spectator seating was above on the right. Haru clutched his goggles and swim cap in his hand. _This_ was the place he wanted to see, the pool he wanted to swim in. When he was panicking at the thought of going abroad without Rin, this was the place that started to change his mind.

None of the others were there yet and _I should probably wait for them, but…_ He pulled on his swim cap and settled his goggles into place, heading for the block on lane eight.

"Nanase-kun?"

Haru whimpered inwardly at Coach Akagi's voice, already up on the block and ready to go. He looked back at his gathering teammates.

His coaches wore knowing looks.

"Standard warm ups," Akagi said and smiled.

Haru started his dive in the same instant, slipping into the water's embrace and immediately feeling at home.

-x-

Coach Akagi was waiting to work with him and Konishi when their warm ups were done. Akagi wore his Team Japan jacket unzipped over a black T-shirt, his earring glinting in the brilliant lights. "We'll start with descending two hundred's—stroke, five times. Then, for you, Nanase-kun… All-out fifties, sub-23, on two minutes."

Haru's eyes widened. _What?_

"For you, Konishi-san, stroke and sub-30."

She groaned, adjusting the straps of her black practice suit.

"The finals for the fifty meter races are knock-outs—eight swimmers…five…then three," Akagi said, shrugging, his expression completely unapologetic. "Rounds are back-to-back. So you gotta be able to go three in a row." He cocked a brow. "Bonus points for you, Nanase, if you don't breathe."

"Nn."

Akagi smiled. "Nanase-kun, your lead."

"…Hai." He stepped up to the block. Ikehara and Ozawa were working on their breaststroke one lane over. Haru drew a deep breath of the chlorinated air and dove—

-x-

They ate lunch at the arena and then had a brief rest period before starting the next practice. Haru sat outside on the arena's concrete steps in his warmups, looking out over the rocky shore and the bay. He was logged onto the arena's wireless. _[I always thought Coach Maekawa was the evil one.]_

_[Brutal practice?]_

Haru summarized. _[…And we ended with building 500's. I guess they coordinated.]_

_[Hn.]_

The early afternoon sun was bright overhead, reflecting off the surface of the water. _[What are you doing? It's 8pm there?]_

_[Not much, just sitting here with some tea. I'll go to bed pretty soon. I was up early this morning. Couldn't sleep.]_

Haru hugged his knees to his chest, a gentle breeze sifting through his hair. He imagined Rin seated at the _kotatsu_ in his apartment, with his teacup and phone. Haru sighed. _All I want to do is curl up with you and sleep…_ His body, for sure, thought that it was 8pm. That five-minute nap at the hotel hadn't done anything to alleviate his fatigue. But the coaches said he needed to stay up as long as possible or he'd never adjust. The events on Friday didn't even start until 3pm… _and it's not even 2pm now…_

 _[I wish you were here so we could go to sleep together,]_ Haru wrote. The gap between the hotel beds was so minimal already, it'd hardly take any effort at all to make a cuddle nest.

_[Me too.]_

The moment stretched between them in silence, Haru running out of things to say because it was all longings to touch and hold and simply be… He exhaled, closing his eyes briefly, trying not to think about being half a world away. _[I'll let you get to bed. Sleep well, Rin.]_ He imagined Rin's face in his mind, wishing he could brush those wine-colored strands of hair back from Rin's cheeks and kiss those warm lips goodnight…

_[OK. Goodnight, Haru.]_

Haru reluctantly got up, tucking his phone into his pocket and going inside.

-x-

He was supposed to be resting still, but he went to the pool deck anyways. Captain Ikehara and the coaches were relaxing in the sauna in the men's locker room, but Haru didn't care to get all hot and sweaty. It wasn't like he needed an excuse to get in the pool.

"Nanase-kun!" Konishi waved at him as he entered the pool area. She was standing against a metal rail, on the stairs by the water slides, her chin-length hair dripping wet. "Come down the water slide with us!"

Haru lifted his gaze to the coils of white tubing, three stories tall. _Water_ slides… His eyes widened and he was on the move immediately, following his teammate up three flights of stairs to the upper slide.

Ozawa was at the top in her navy blue and white practice suit, her brown ponytail hanging in a wet mass down her back. "Nanase-kun, you're gonna try?"

Haru studied the entryway with the jets of water and the bar across the top. _What, you just…go?_

Ozawa laughed, apparently reading the look on his face. "Never done one before? I'll show you." She stepped down into the launch and grasped the bar, sitting and shoving off— She disappeared around the first curve instantly.

Konishi grabbed his elbow, pulling him to the rail. "Down there—"

Seconds later, Ozawa splashed into the landing trough, climbing out laughing and flinging wet hair back from her face. She looked up at him and waved. "Nanase-kun! Your turn."

Haru mentally shrugged. _Doesn't hurt to try it, I guess_. He smoothed his swim cap into place along with his goggles and made his way into the launch, taking hold of the bar. Drawing a breath, he swung into the water—and _flew_. His stomach was in his throat as he slid around the first turn and then banked back the other way— His heart was pounding from the rush, the water and gravity flinging him around each corner, building in speed…until he splashed, breathless, into the landing area.

Haru got out, wiping the water from his face, catching his breath—

Ozawa was grinning at him. "You wanna go again, right?"

Haru nodded. "Yeah."

They headed for the stairs and Haru forgot about being tired.

-x-

When lines started to form for the water slides, Ozawa and Konishi made a beeline for the plunge pool on the opposite side of the arena. Haru went with them. The diving tower had five platforms, with two 3m springboards on either side. The way to the highest three platforms was blocked off, but stairways led up to the springboards and the 3m platform.

_I've never jumped off anything higher than the block…_

He watched the two women climb up to the 3m platform and jump off the end one at a time, plunging into the pool below. It didn't look hard.

"Nanase-kun, come on," Konishi said, waving him towards the stairs.

Haru left his swim cap and goggles on a ledge near the plunge pool and joined his teammates. Three meters didn't sound that high, but looking off the edge of the platform…

"Feet together," Konishi said. "That's all you have to remember. Like this." She jumped off, pointing her toes, her hands tucked at her sides as she dropped into the pool below.

"Don't try anything fancy," Ozawa said. "You'll hurt yourself."

Haru nodded. He stepped to the edge of the platform, waiting until Konishi reached the side of the pool. Then he jumped—

It was over in less than a second, not even enough time for him to question what he was doing before he entered the water, driven down deep into the pool, bubbles raking against his skin. Haru kicked his way to the surface and broke through, gasping for breath, the unexpected thrill of it coursing through his veins. He swam to the side where Konishi waited.

"It's fun, right?" she asked, flipping wet black hair from her face. "Let's go again." She headed for the stairs without waiting for an answer.

Haru was right behind her.

-x-

They traded off between the 3m springboards and the 3m platform, losing track of the time. They even tried going synchro off the springboards, with Ozawa and Konishi to the left of the dive tower and Haru on the right. But there was nothing synchronous about it, aside from their countdown. They all got different heights from their jumps and hit the water at different times. The women came up laughing. Haru bobbed in the water, wiping hair and droplets from his face.

"Ozawa, Konishi, Nanase!" Akagi was yelling from over by the 50m pool. "Stop screwing around and get over here." Captain Ikehara and Coach Fujino were with him.

"We got in trouble," Ozawa said, heading for the side of the pool. She was smiling.

Haru climbed out, recovering his cap and goggles and flinging the water from his hair with a shake of his head.

 _Rin, I tried something new today._ It was satisfying on a deep level, even though it hurt, too. _I wish you were here. We could've done it together._ The happiness and the pain mingled inside him as he joined the others for their afternoon practice.

-x-

By the time they got back to the hotel that evening, the place was full of athletes in warmups, toting suitcases and gear. Haru didn't recognize any of the clubs by team colors or logos; he'd study the start lists tomorrow. After dumping off their gear and changing clothes, they headed as a group to the hotel restaurant on the 13th floor for an early dinner.

The lights were on low, floor-to-ceiling glass windows letting in the sunlight from outside. There was a long, curved bar backed by a colorful array of bottles. The tables were honey-colored wood, each place set with cutlery, a white fabric napkin, and a stemless wine glass. Haru felt underdressed in his T-shirt, hoodie, and casual pants, though a glance around the restaurant and especially at the bar alleviated any notion of feeling self-conscious—some of the athletes had shown up in their warmups. The host showed them to a table for six; Haru sat between Captain Ikehara and Coach Akagi, across from Coach Fujino, Ozawa, and Konishi. Beyond the windows, the city of Bergen and the surrounding hills spread out under blue skies. There were very few tall buildings.

Haru opened the leather menu portfolio, blinking as the printed letters on white paper swam before his eyes. As if the jetlag and exercise wasn't tiring enough, he also had to decipher English… Haru sighed and scanned the menu, looking for _makrell_.

A server in a button-down black shirt, tie, and apron came over to their table. She poured water into the glasses on the table. " _God kveld. Can I start anyone off with a cocktail or wine or beer? Or can I answer any questions about the menu?_ "

"At eighteen you can buy drinks here," Ozawa murmured to Konishi. "Though you have to be twenty to get anything strong."

"Why are you telling me this? I'm not drinking _before_ a competition," Konishi said.

Ozawa pushed an errant section of brown hair back from her face; she was wearing a sparkly blue top with a drapey front. "In case you were curious. …And our competition's not until Friday." She looked up at the server. " _I'd like a glass of white wine, please. What do you recommend?_ "

Konishi frowned as Ozawa and the server had a quick exchange about the wine.

" _I'm fine with water, thanks_ ," Captain Ikehara said.

The coaches ordered beers.

Konishi relaxed a little. " _Just water, please_ ," she said, adjusting the sleeve of her green blouse.

Haru waited his turn, his Norwegian cheat sheet unfolded on the table in front of him. " _Kan jeg få makrell?"_

The server answered him in rapid Norwegian, pointing to a couple of items on the page in front of him under the heading _Sjømat._

He had no idea what she'd said. Haru picked the first one she'd pointed to. " _Det er makrell?_ " he asked, trying to confirm.

The server nodded. " _Ja._ "

" _Dette, vær så snill_ ," he said, reasonably sure he was ordering what he wanted. …Reasonably. He was fairly certain he'd gotten the 'please' part right, at least.

The server smiled. " _Tusen takk._ " She looked at the others and switched back to English. " _Would anyone else like to order now? If not, I'll get your drinks started._ "

With no one else ready, the server departed.

Haru set his menu down, smoothing out his cheat sheet.

"If you're not careful, you'll end up having to speak for the whole table," Captain Ikehara said.

That was when he noticed the others were staring at him. "I only order _saba_ ," Haru said.

* * *

Thursday, May 26th, 2016

* * *

Haru was wide awake at 3am, listening to Ikehara's quiet breathing on the next bed over. He'd only managed to stay up until 7pm the night before, crashing as soon as dinner was over. It was 10am at home…there was no way he'd be able to go back to sleep. Haru carefully got out of bed in the dark room—the blackout curtains were drawn over the window—and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt over his boxer briefs and Rin's shark T-shirt. Drawing a bath sounded nice, but he didn't want to wake up his roommate.

Instead, Haru grabbed his room key and his messenger bag, slipping into a pair of sandals.

There was a terrace on the 9th floor of the hotel. He pushed through the glass doors that led outside, bracing against the rush of cold air. The sky was clear—inky blue twilight that blended with the yellow-orange glow on the horizon. Haru perched on a bench, facing the forested hills to the east, beyond the edge of the city. He took out his camera, experimenting with different settings and snapping pictures until his fingers started to go numb from the cold. Then he set the camera aside, breathing into his cupped hands to warm them.

When he could feel his fingertips again, he took out his phone. _[It doesn't get dark here.]_

Not a minute later, the device trilled in his hand. Haru flipped over to Skype—

" _What the fuck are you doing up?_ " Rin was glaring in the video feed, his hair tied back and face slightly flushed. He was in his running gear, on Koutei's campus backed by a cloudy Tokyo day. It was windy, judging by the way wisps of Rin's hair were blowing and the sound in the background.

 _Just hearing your voice…_ "I tried to sleep," Haru said. "It worked for a little while."

The hard look faded, though Rin was still frowning. _"Your races tomorrow are pretty late."_

"I know. By then, hopefully…"

Rin nodded, wincing against a gust of wind that was loud over the phone.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your run. I just…"

" _It's OK,"_ Rin said. He brushed some hair back, his face relaxing. _"I was done anyway."_ Rin peered into the phone. _"You said it's not dark? Looks pretty dark to me. The picture's all grainy."_

"Hmm." Haru switched to the phone's back camera, aiming at the twilight sky. "Do you see that?"

" _Not really."_ Rin squinted for a second, then gave up. _"Change it back. I wanna look at you, not the sky."_

Haru lifted his brows as he tapped the appropriate controls. "You're not embarrassed? Saying sappy things like that to me."

" _Shut up, Haru."_ Rin's cheeks darkened on the screen. _"What's the point of Skyping, otherwise?"_

Haru smiled. "You have practice later?"

" _Yeah. And errands. I'm starting to get some stuff pulled together."_

"You don't leave for a week and a half, Rin."

" _So? Why should I wait until the last minute?"_ Rin frowned again. _"Besides, I've already cleaned everything and done laundry and all that. There's nothing else left to do."_

Haru leaned back against the bench. "You could just relax. Why do you have to be so busy?"

Rin's face clouded. _"I have to."_

"But why? Rest's important."

" _I just can't, OK?"_ Rin said, his voice sharpening.

The pain in scarlet eyes was obvious and Haru relented. "Sorry."

Rin exhaled, glancing away, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. _"Nah, I'm sorry, I don't mean to snap at you."_

Haru shrugged. "You're not. I was prodding."

Rin's lips quirked. _"You ready for tomorrow?"_

"I guess."

" _You guess."_ Rin rolled his eyes. _"Haru…"_

It was his turn to fall quiet. "You know."

Rin's expression sobered. _"Yeah."_

Haru pulled his knees up, bracing against the cold.

"… _Haru, how cold is it there? Your lips are turning blue."_

"I don't know. Like 10 C or something? Maybe less."

" _You idiot, go the fuck inside!"_

"It's not that cold, Rin."

" _Right…tell me things haven't receded and I'll believe you."_

"Nn." Haru frowned, shifting a little. They hadn't _completely_ …

Rin's eyes softened. _"Go inside, OK? And try to get some more sleep."_

He exhaled. "OK." _I can't really say 'no' when you look at me like that._

Rin waved, his eyes warm. _"Bye, Haru."_

"Yeah."

The screen darkened and Haru hugged his knees tightly for a moment more before gathering his equipment and heading back into the building.

-x-

…He still wasn't tired. Haru went down to the lobby and sketched for a while until the breakfast buffet opened at 6am. Afterwards, he headed back upstairs.

"There you are," Ikehara said, sitting on his bed with his laptop in his lap. "You ate already?"

"Yeah. I was up early." Haru put his messenger bag away.

Ikehara got out of bed and stretched. He was wearing dark gray sweatpants and a patterned blue hoodie. "Alright. I'll go eat and we're supposed to be ready to go by eight."

"OK."

After Ikehara left, Haru headed into the bathroom and started filling the tub. His jammers from yesterday were dry, so he slipped them on and sank into the bath as soon as there was enough water.

Haru leaned back and sighed, stretching out his legs. He closed his eyes, just resting for a moment…

Haru stirred when Ikehara got back.

The guy leaned against the doorframe with folded arms, a to-go cup of coffee in one hand. "You know, I was warned that you'd do this, but I didn't really believe it…"

Haru rubbed his eyes. "Is it time to get ready?"

"Yup."

-x-

"…For our first set today, we'll do a team exercise," Coach Fujino said, beside the blocks of the 50m pool. "400 meter mixed medley, 10 building, 10 descending, on four minutes."

Haru brightened. _A relay…_ Even though it felt bittersweet without Rin, he liked the idea.

"Beats continuous fifties any day," Ozawa murmured, smoothing her white swim cap.

Konishi hummed favorably and Ikehara was smiling.

"The lineup's obvious, right?" Fujino asked. "Ozawa-san, you'll swim fly."

"Got it," she said, grinning.

"Alright, Konishi-san…" Fujino backed away from the block, lifting his whistle.

Konishi settled her goggles into place and jumped into the water on lane seven, climbing up on the start holds.

The rest of them lined up behind the block—Ikehara, Ozawa, and Haru taking the position for anchor. He listened to the shrill pulse of the whistle, the splash of the water as Konishi arced back into the water and started her stroke… A warm feeling welled up inside him, Rin's words from when they were kids echoing in his head. _For the team._

* * *

Friday, May 27th, 2016

* * *

Warm ups on the first day of the Bergen Swim Festival started at noon. Haru followed Captain Ikehara into the crowded locker room, stifling a yawn. The cumulative fatigue and jetlag had caught up with him last night; he'd slept almost 12 hours. It didn't make any sense for him to still be tired.

He put his stuff away and headed for the pool deck, reviving a little once he inhaled the familiar scent of chlorine. That, and the place was a madhouse—the 50m pool was already stuffed with swimmers. A partition had been put in place between the 50m pool and the 25m plunge pool; the latter also divided into lanes for warm ups. Haru sighed. He headed for the plunge pool since it was slightly less crowded.

The water woke him up, the quiet beneath the surface letting him hear himself think… _I'm racing today…without my friends. Rin…Makoto…Nagisa…Rei…_ He'd gone to several competitions during his first year on the Koutei team, but Makoto had always been there. More than once, Nagisa, Rei, and Gou had come into Tokyo for the weekend to cheer him on. This was the first time he'd be competing without any of them here…in a foreign country, halfway around the world. _This is for my dream, but_ … He couldn't help feeling homesick, missing Rin and his friends.

Haru flip-turned at the opposite end of the pool, dolphin-kicking underwater and staying down as long as he could. _I'm not alone, though. I'm here with my team._ The last couple of days had been hard, but unexpectedly bright in places. It wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. Yesterday, even Captain Ikehara had joined them on the water slide and the high dive… _I'm swimming for the team. The team that's here and the team that's not here._ He popped up, going to stroke. _It'll be OK. For both of us, Rin._

He finished his normal regimen, then donned his red and white warmups and joined his teammates in the cafeteria upstairs for a light lunch.

It had been a foggy morning and there was still a bit of mist left, hanging low in the cold air above the bay, that had yet to burn off. Haru looked out from inside, finding a spot against the glass windows that was less crowded and a little more private as he withdrew his phone from his pocket and logged on. He downloaded his messages—well-wishes from his friends and family, his teammates back at Koutei… From Rin there was a voice message.

Haru pressed 'play' and lifted the phone to his ear—

" _Haru. Ehhh, I hate doing it this way, but…"_ Rin exhaled. _"I'm headed over to the place soon and there'll be a ton of people there, so… Look, I'm not gonna say anything stupid like, 'good luck,' or anything like that. We both know 'luck' has nothing to do with it. You're gonna swim fast because that's what you do. You're gonna win because you're the best and no one can beat you in the water. At least, since I'm not there. …So just do what you always do, Haru. I'll be watching."_ There was a pause and Rin cleared his throat. _"OK, that's it. I'm not gonna say any cheesy, sappy shit… You already know I miss you, so… OK, later…"_

The message ended.

Haru lowered the phone, turning his back on the windows and leaning against the glass. His eyes were warm, his throat tight. He sniffed hard, smiling to himself. _Rin_.

-x-

Haru's races bookended the day's events—the 50m free heats right at the start and the 200m free heats to close out the evening. In the middle were the 100m breaststroke, the 50m butterfly, and the 100m backstroke. Just prior to 3pm, Haru got back in the plunge pool for a few more laps. The stands were full of people, officials crowded the pool deck, and cameras were everywhere. The male announcer was speaking mostly Norwegian with some English thrown in. Haru gathered enough to guess that the women's 50m free heats were starting.

He climbed out of the plunge pool, toweling off and heading back towards the locker room. A red rope barrier had been put in place at the side of the pool, creating a walkway. Haru ducked into the hall as the second women's heat (of 22) got underway.

Coach Akagi was standing in the hallway that led to the men's locker room, a phone held to his ear. "…Sure, Mae-chan, I'll pass that along— Oh." Akagi lifted his brows. "Nanase-kun."

Haru paused.

Akagi's eyes warmed. "Tokyo's calling. But don't be late for check in."

"Hai." Haru dipped his head and picked up his pace to the locker room…

He fished his phone from the pocket of his warmup jacket, logging on one-handed while he pulled on his Team Japan warmup pants. The phone trilled immediately. Haru answered the call voice-only as he stepped into his sandals.

" _Haru! About damn time. I said I was gonna call_." Rin paused. "… _And why just voice?_ "

"Hang on, I'm in the locker room." He grabbed a T-shirt and his warmup jacket, heading out into the hallway. "I was just—"

" _Yeah, I know. We saw you get out of the pool. You couldn't have walked any fucking slower."_

Haru yanked on the T-shirt and started the video feed. Rin's face lit on his screen, frowning; he looked irritated like he usually did.

" _Tch. There you are_." Backing Rin was the dim lighting of the pub near campus.

Haru slipped his jacket on one sleeve at a time. "Rin…" He smiled, words failing him. It felt _so_ good… _Just seeing you_ —

Rin's expression softened, his cheeks heating. " _Haru, hey_ —"

" _Haruka!_ " Takara glomped Rin to get in the picture, the video feed going askew.

" _Oi!_ "

Takara's face filled the screen, her cheeks rosy like she was at least one beer in already. " _Good luck!_ " She blew kisses at him.

" _Hey!_ " The feed bounced around as Takara and Rin struggled for control of the device—Haru guessed it was Rin's tablet.

He winced and averted his eyes from the jerky video, before it made him dizzy.

" _Careful, you guys!_ " Another pair of hands came into view and suddenly the video stabilized, focused on Makoto's face. " _Haru!_ " Makoto smiled.

Haru inhaled. "Makoto…"

" _We're all here watching and cheering for you. I know it's not like we're there, but_ …"

Haru nodded. "Makoto, thanks." _This is really nice._

Makoto chuckled. " _Thank Rin. He's the one who_ —"

" _Nanase-kun!_ " Mikoshiba was suddenly in view, grinning and giving him a thumbs-up. " _Good luck out there!_ " The guy had an empty beer glass in his other hand.

"Thanks, Mikoshiba."

He lifted his glass like a toast, but apparently just then realized it was empty. " _Oh, time for a refill_." He disappeared.

" _You're missing a lively party_ ," Makoto said, a withering look on his face.

At that moment, a slew of text messages flashed at the top of Haru's screen, as if they'd finally finished downloading—

_[HARU-CHAN! Can you hear me cheering for you? Ganbatte!]_

_[Haruka-senpai, I explained to Nagisa-kun that it is physically impossible for you to hear him yelling at the screen but he is insisting on doing it anyways.]_

_[Haruka-senpai, good luck! Your muscles look fabulous today!]_

_[Haruka, good luck, honey. Are you eating enough? You look skinny.]_

_[Son, ignore whatever your mother just said. You look fine. We're so proud of you.]_

_Everyone…_ Haru blinked back a bit of emotion.

In the video, in the background, Rin finally managed to wrestle Takara off him and recovered the device from Makoto, breathing hard.

" _Haru_." Rin flicked a few strands of garnet hair back, looking at him intently. " _You got this_."

Haru's heart settled. "Yeah."

-x-

Haru was in the 15th heat of the men's 50m free, in the 5th lane. For the heats, the lanes were labeled 1-10 instead of 0-9, so the fast lanes were 5 and 6. _Must be normal here._

Just after the 14th heat dove into the pool, the announcer was reading off the names of the swimmers for the 15th heat. Haru approached the block in his Team Japan jammers, pressing his goggles into place over his eyes. They were lined up on the turn side of the pool, next to the water slides. Haru adjusted the start block, then watched the 14th heat churn up the water as the swimmers raced towards the opposite end of the pool.

The heat concluded and the water calmed, glistening beneath the overhead lighting as it stilled. Images always came to him when he raced, whether it was during, before, or after. This time, what he saw in his head was the Iwatobi pool two Aprils ago, full of cherry blossoms, the petals pelted by a sudden rain shower…

Haru smiled to himself as he climbed up onto the block at the whistle. The water was inviting him today. A wave of radiant calm went through him as he readied himself, listening for the start— Haru sprung forward at the beep, reaching out for the water's surface… His fingertips touched first, carving an opening, and he slipped into the water's embrace, cradled and welcomed. He dolphin-kicked, merging with the flow of the water, feeling it yield to him as he moved through. Haru surfaced and started his strokes, cupping and pulling with long reaches, gliding along the surface— He felt no resistance, just the smooth liquid flowing around his body, cool against heated muscles.

It was over too soon. The wall was there and his synergy with the water ended abruptly as his hands touched the hard surface, a wave of water slamming into his back and cascading over his shoulders as he popped up to catch his breath. _Oh._ Haru clung to the side of the pool with one hand as his competitors finished around him. _I forgot to breathe._

"Nanase-kun!" Konishi was calling his name from the stands.

The announcer was saying something overhead, though Haru didn't know what. He swam to the side of the pool and climbed out; the first heat of the women's 100m breaststroke was already gathering behind the blocks.

Haru walked back towards the locker rooms. He pulled off his cap and goggles, shaking the water from his hair.

"Nanase-kun, congratulations!" Ozawa said, squeezing him in a brief hug before he could escape into the hallway. She was still in her Team Japan warmups, her hair already tamed beneath her swim cap, her goggles resting at her throat.

"Hm?" He gathered that he'd won the heat and might be leading overall, but he hadn't even looked at the board.

"Weren't you listening? You just set a meet record _and_ an arena record."

"Oh." Haru blinked. _I was just thinking about the water._ "Did you see my time?"

Ozawa shook her head. "It flashed up too fast. The coaches will have it though."

Haru nodded. "Good luck, Ozawa-senpai."

"Thanks!" She grinned.

Haru ducked into the hall, slipping through the crowds.

"Nanase-kun, nicely done," Ikehara said, offering a high-five.

"Thank you."

Ikehara gestured to the stairs. "Konishi-san and the coaches are in the stands."

"I'll join them. Good luck with your race, Captain."

"Thanks." Ikehara smiled broadly.

Haru turned the corner into the locker room. He rinsed off briefly, then towel-dried and got dressed… His next race was two and a half hours away.

As he headed out and took the stairs to the upper level, he checked his phone.

_[Haru, what the fuck was that?!]_

He moved off to the side, tapping out a response. _[What was what?]_

The phone trilled in his hand—a voice call. Haru answered it, lifting the phone to his ear at the same time he clicked the volume down…

" _You. 22.15. Since when THE FUCK did you start doing it without breathing?"_

 _You're still loud._ Haru winced, angling the speaker slightly away from his head. "I did it a few times in practice over the last couple of days. …Today I just forgot though."

" _You fucking FORGOT?"_

"Yes. Calm down. The volume won't go any lower."

Rin took a deep breath on the other end of the line. _"Sorry."_ Haru could hear muted cheering, laughter, and conversation in the background. _"How'd you forget?"_ Rin asked, his voice normal this time.

"Dunno." Haru leaned against the wall. "I was thinking about the water."

" _You were thinking about…"_ Rin groaned. _"Haru, damnit."_

"You're upset, Rin?"

" _Yeah, I'm upset!"_ Haru could imagine the glare on Rin's face. _"Tch. I didn't think you'd do it first."_

Haru lifted a brow. "Are you jealous? I said I'd give you something to aim for."

" _Nn, Haru…"_ Rin sighed. _"I'm more upset that I'm not there. If I was, I'd… Er… I don't know what I'd do, but…"_

 _You'd probably tackle me to the floor and kiss me._ Haru smiled to himself. He lowered his voice. "I have a few suggestions, Rin."

" _Haru, we're apart for like fifty-seven more days. Do not get fresh with me."_

Amused, Haru dropped the tease. "Aren't you tired? It's almost eleven at home, isn't it?"

" _Yeah. I'm tired and cranky and surrounded by drunk people. So you setting records and not breathing in the fifty is just the icing on the fucking cake."_

 _You're welcome._ Haru paused. "…Rin, do you remember that time, two years ago, when we filled the Iwatobi pool with _sakura_ blossoms and tried to get you to swim in it?"

Rin was quiet for a moment. _"Yeah, I remember that."_

Haru closed his eyes. "That's what I was thinking about. It relaxed me. That's why I could swim like that."

"… _That was…?"_

"You know I'm aiming for you too, right?" _That you're the reason I'm chasing this dream, chasing you…_

Rin inhaled sharply. When he next spoke, his voice came out husky. _"Haru…"_

Haru felt that warm glow again. It wasn't as good as a hug, but, _almost_. He wished he could reach through the phone and wrap his arms tight around Rin's waist…press his face into Rin's hair and breathe in that familiar scent. Haru sighed, opening his eyes and drawing back from the fantasy to the crowded arena, the announcer's voice over the speakers, the people milling around everywhere…

"Rin, I'm gonna go cheer for Ozawa-senpai."

" _Yeah, OK."_ Rin drew a thick breath. _"I'll text you."_

"OK." Haru pressed his lips. "…Bye, Rin." He ended the call, staring at the darkened screen for a moment before he pocketed the phone. Longing wasn't a new emotion for him. _I've missed you before_. _But it's harder now…_

-x-

Ozawa and Ikehara both led their heats for the 100m breaststroke and Ozawa took 2nd place overall in the heats for the 50m butterfly directly after. She and Captain Ikehara joined them in the stands and they cheered for Konishi in the 100m backstroke heats. After Konishi took 2nd place, Haru headed back downstairs to the plunge pool, limbering up again while the men's 100m backstroke heats went on. It was after 5pm, local time, but it felt like midnight and the jetlag was creeping in again. The water helped a little.

As the women's heats for the 200m free got underway, Haru got out and pulled on his warmups, waiting in the hallway outside the locker rooms before he had to go check in.

His phone buzzed in his pocket with a text.

_[Haru.]_

Haru tapped out his reply. _[Rin, you're still up?]_

_[No fucking kidding I'm still up. So you'd better show me a sight worth waiting for.]_

Haru smiled. _[OK.]_

_[OK?]_

_[Yeah. Watch me, Rin.]_

At the appropriate time, Haru headed out for the 14th heat of the men's 200m free in his Team Japan jammers, lining up on the start end of the pool, near the plunge pool. He was in lane five again, watching as the previous heat finished up. The swimmers in lanes four, five, and seven finished within a stroke of each other; it was another handful of seconds before the rest of the heat completed the race. No one seemed in a rush to clear the pool, hanging onto the lines between the lanes and pulling off caps and goggles. _I guess that's how they do it here._

Haru stepped up next to the block, waiting for the whistle, then climbed up and set his feet.

" _Take your marks._ "

He looked at all of that glistening water spread out before him… Knowing Rin was watching him right now sent a thrill through him as he stilled for the start—

The buzzer sounded and Haru leapt forward, slipping beneath the surface of the placid water. He dolphin-kicked and came up to start his stroke, settling into his usual pace for the first fifty meters—at least, the usual pace he would've kept with Rin beside him. The other swimmers were already starting to fall away. The announcer was saying something in Norwegian—Haru heard " _Japan_ " and his name as he glided towards the opposite end of the pool. He flip-turned and pushed off the wall going back the other way as the swimmers to the right and left of him were just starting their turns. Haru held his speed steady going into 100 meters…

Even though he was tired, the water felt good. It would only be better if he were racing with Rin, like last week at the Japan Open in the 200m free final. Haru headed into the second turn, remembering how Rin and the Australian swimmer—Ethan—had led at the half. He ducked underwater, planting his feet and using the momentum to spring forward, the water flowing around him. He chased his memories—Rin meeting him stroke-for-stroke on his left, Ethan a constant threat on his right—and he was sailing along the surface, building smoothly to his sprint speed in the clear, perfect water—

One final turn and Haru was flying through the last fifty meters, feeling as free as a bird soaring on the currents of the wind, overtaking his imagination as he reached for the wall—

Haru popped up to modest cheering as he caught his breath. It was five or six seconds before the next swimmers finished. The announcer said his name again, along with a bunch of Norwegian, then the man switched to English.

"… _new arena record, Haruka Nanase, one-forty-six, thirty-three_ …"

Haru mulled over the words as he hoisted himself up and climbed out of the pool, not bothering to swim to the side. _Oh. Well, I am tired_. His last two races of the 200m free, he'd been below 1:46. Haru lifted his goggles onto his forehead and grabbed his towel. A woman came over and took his picture. He nodded to her, waving politely for the camera.

"Nanase-kun!" It was Ozawa this time, up against the rail of the stands in her Team Japan warmups.

Haru slipped into the plunge pool for a quick cool down before returning to the locker room.

After pulling on his warmups, he sat on one of the benches with his phone. _[How was that?]_

_[I hate this damn thing! Why can't I be there with you?]_

Haru smiled to himself, imagining an irritated look on Rin's face. _[Go to bed. You're cranky when you're tired.]_

_[I fucking am not!]_

Warm and happy, Haru tucked his phone into his pocket and grabbed his things. He went upstairs to join his teammates for dinner.

* * *

Saturday, May 28th, 2016

* * *

Even with the blackout curtains drawn, light seeped into the room. For whatever reason—maybe it was the energy and excitement of the races the night prior—Haru found sleep elusive. He rotated on the narrow bed in the small hours of the morning, knowing he needed sleep…and that only made it harder to get there. He remembered the clock saying 3-something and felt like he'd just closed his eyes—

"Nanase-kun?" Ikehara touched his shoulder gently.

Haru jerked awake, bleary. " _Nn_."

Captain Ikehara was dressed already, standing beside the bed. "We're meeting downstairs for breakfast…"

"…Yeah." Haru pushed himself up, rubbing at his eyes. "I'll get up." He felt…off. A slight headache throbbed behind his temples.

Haru went into the bathroom and splashed water on his face. His eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep. _I'm supposed to race today. Not until this afternoon, but…_ His body ached more than it usually did, even considering the tough workouts he'd done the last couple of days. _I can't be getting sick._ Not when he had two finals tonight, including the knock-out free, and Rin and everyone would be watching…

He changed and got ready, packing his things into his gear bag.

Captain Ikehara was waiting at the door. "Nanase…are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," Haru said.

-x-

Downstairs, the breakfast buffet was crowded with athletes. Haru knew people were looking at him, talking about him—he heard his name a couple of times amidst snatches of other languages that he didn't know. He ignored them, grabbing a plate… A tray of gleaming rounds of Norwegian mackerel waited for him, but a sour taste rose in the back of his throat as he looked at it. Haru turned away. He loaded his plate with bread and yogurt instead, pouring a glass of apple juice from the dispenser.

Joining his teammates and coaches, he sat down and started to eat quietly—small bites with sips of juice. The bland bread tasted OK and went down easy.

"Are they out of _saba_ , Nanase-kun?" Konishi asked. She was across from him, holding a bowl of cereal. "Did you ask?"

Haru shook his head.

"Well, I'd ask, but my Norwegian's terrible. What was it again? _Makrell?_ "

"It's fine," he said. "I don't want any." He continued eating even though, now, the others stared at him.

"That's a first." Ozawa lowered her cup of juice. "Are you getting sick, Nanase?" She reached over, setting the back of her hand against his forehead.

" _Nn_." Haru flinched away. "No." _Why can't everyone just let me be?_

Ozawa's lips pursed. "Hm." She turned back to her plate.

Ikehara cleared his throat lightly. "How do you feel about your back-to-back races this morning, Ozawa-san?"

Ozawa rolled her shoulders with a sigh. "The two hundred meter fly and the fifty breast? It's not a big deal. I've had worse."

"But tonight…" Konishi set her bowl on the table. "You've got the two hundred and fifty fly and the hundred breast, almost back-to-back-to-back…"

Haru ignored the rest of the conversation going on around him, just focusing on eating and keeping his food down. _I'm not sick._

-x-

As soon as they got to the arena for warm ups, Haru headed for the pool. He didn't have any races this morning, but he needed to get in the water. The water would help…the water would fix it. He dove into the plunge pool, not caring that his form was sloppy—

His entry was off, his hands slapping the water instead of piercing it cleanly. He submerged, the water ice cold, the motions of his body jerky as he reclaimed the surface and went to stroke. Something was wrong. The water was resisting him, slipping through his fingers, and it felt like he was fighting—clawing—for every meter. At the opposite end of the pool, he climbed out, gasping for breath. _What's wrong with me today?_ His head throbbed, his body wasn't working the way it should—

Haru stripped off his cap and goggles, running a shaking hand over his face. A tight feeling gathered in his chest. Suddenly he was back in high school, at regionals senior year—the race where everyone was watching… _and I couldn't do it_. He remembered how the water tangled him up, how he couldn't breathe…and the feeling of failure was the solid bottom of the pool beneath his feet. Gripping his goggles in his hand, Haru left the pool deck.

Back then, part of him wanted to fail, _wanted_ to not live up to everyone's expectations. _So they'd go away. So they'd leave me alone._ _Because I thought that's how I'd be free._

Haru toweled off in the hallway on the way to the locker room. Things were different now. He _wanted_ to do well. He wanted to swim fast and win. _Because then I can swim with Rin._ He closed his eyes, swallowing hard around the lump in his throat. If he failed now… In his mind he could imagine it too easily—standing there in the pool while Rin swam away from him. _If I can't…if I can't swim with you…_ The thought was suffocating. Haru's vision swam and he reached out for the wall, steadying himself.

It couldn't be that fragile. _Yesterday, I felt fine._ It hadn't been easy, but…

At the sound of wet footsteps slapping against the tile floor, Haru wrenched himself straight and made it the rest of the way to the locker room. For a few minutes, he stood in the hot spray in the communal shower, letting the water batter his skin. He wanted to curl up on the floor, but he couldn't—not with all the people around, all the athletes heading out for their races. It wasn't like back at the NTC, the time Rin found him in the shower. _Rin_. Haru swallowed hard, leaving the shower area. He dried off and dressed at his locker. If he wasn't going to warm up, he was supposed to be upstairs in the stands with his coaches, cheering on his teammates. _I can't._ Haru closed his locker and left the room…

With athletes and spectators filling the arena, the only quiet place Haru found was outside. He sat on the broad, concrete steps, facing the bay. It was another cold, foggy morning; he couldn't even see the opposite shore. Haru hugged his knees to his chest as a chilly breeze sifted through his hair and made him shiver. But he didn't want to go back inside. He didn't want anything but his bed at home where he could curl up in the dark and no one would bother him. He wanted to hide beneath the covers until the pain went away—until he fell asleep or went numb. Either way, he wouldn't have to feel this way anymore—at least for a little while.

…He lost track of the minutes he spent there, the tip of his nose and his ears burning from the cold. Haru tucked his hands into his sleeves, tightening his arms around his knees.

"…Nanase-kun."

He tensed at the sound of Coach Akagi's voice. "…Hai." Haru looked back.

Akagi stood at the top of the steps, his hands resting in the pockets of his Team Japan warmup jacket. "Get your stuff and come with me."

Haru, obediently, rose to follow.

-x-

They walked in silence back to the hotel and Haru was too tired to care what kind of trouble he was in. …Even if they called his parents and told them it'd happened again. He didn't want his parents to worry, but, more than that, he didn't want Rin to find out. Rin was having a hard enough time as it was. _If you knew, you'd feel bad, you'd worry…_

Coach Akagi dropped him off at his room. "Get some rest. I'll check on you in a couple of hours."

Haru glanced at his coach. … _That's it?_

"Hm?"

He looked away. "I thought I was in trouble."

"For having a rough day? It happens." Akagi shrugged. "If you're really getting sick, we'll sort it out, but try sleeping it off, to start."

"…OK." He held his keycard to the door until it unlocked. Grasping the door handle, he paused. "Sorry about this."

"Don't worry about it." Akagi headed down the hall in the direction of the elevators. "Make sure your phone is on, OK?"

"I will."

Inside the room he shared with Captain Ikehara, Haru dropped his gear bag on the floor. He turned on the bedside lamp and drew the blackout curtains. Stripping out of his warmups, he climbed into bed in his jammers, leaving his phone on the bedside table. Then he pulled the blankets over his head and blinked into the darkness. _Rin._ He pushed his face against the pillow. _I miss you_. _I don't want you to see me like this, but… I really…_

He didn't know how many minutes had passed while he lay there awake, the air beneath the covers thinning, but then his phone trilled softly, breaking into the silence. Haru rolled onto his back, reluctantly lowering the blankets from his face. He picked up the device and stared at the katakana characters on the screen, elation and fear warring inside him… He exhaled. _I have to. I promised._

He twisted on his side, answering. The screen lit with Rin's face—scarlet eyes hardened with concern, unruly strands of hair falling against his cheeks. Rin was at home, sitting on his bed in a burgundy tank top and dark gray sweatshirt.

" _Haru."_

"You're not at the pub."

Rin shook his head. _"I came home. You're not feeling well."_

It was a statement, not a question. Haru pressed his lips. "They told you?"

" _Coach Akagi called Coach Maekawa. She told me. That's all."_

"I'm just tired."

Rin's gaze was intent on his face. _"I heard you didn't really eat this morning."_

Haru shrugged. "I wasn't hungry."

" _Do you have a fever?"_

"No."

" _Because I know it's cold there and you've been spending so much time outside…"_

"I don't have a fever, Rin."

" _Haru…"_ Worry creased Rin's brow.

He couldn't stand it. "I'm not sick. It just…wasn't working today."

" _What wasn't?"_

 _Everything_. He didn't answer.

Rin exhaled. _"You said you're tired?"_

"I couldn't sleep last night." _Now's not looking great either_.

Rin glanced away, his expression thoughtful. After a moment, he met Haru's eyes again. _"I have an idea. Get your laptop."_

"Rin…" Haru frowned.

Rin lifted a brow. _"You can argue with me and then get your laptop…or you can just get your laptop. Which sounds easier?"_

"Nn…" Haru got up, crossing the room to his messenger bag. He grabbed his laptop and returned to the bed, sitting in the middle.

" _Log on and stuff. I'm gonna use the bathroom quick."_

"What, you're leaving?"

Onscreen, Rin rolled his eyes. _"Haru, I'm not taking you in there with me. Stop stalling."_

While Rin stepped away, Haru booted up and logged on…

Rin got back. _"OK, I'm gonna switch over…"_

The screen on Haru's laptop lit with Rin's face. He was on his bed, wearing Haru's blue dolphin T-shirt now.

" _You got me on your laptop?"_

"Yeah…"

" _OK. Put me beside your pillow."_

Haru tensed. "Rin…"

" _Come on, just do it. Like this."_ The image shifted around, like Rin was positioning the device on his end—probably his tablet. Then Rin was lying on his bed, looking at him sideways on the video.

His cheeks warm, Haru placed the laptop just beyond the edge of his pillow.

" _Yeah. Now lie down."_

Haru drew the blankets up to his shoulders and curled up, facing Rin. Pain surged through him, hot and tight in his throat. _Because it's almost like…_ He wanted to pull away—

" _Haru, don't, you promised."_ Rin's voice broke softly. _"It's OK."_ He swallowed, the same pain bright in crimson eyes. _"It'll be OK."_

Haru relented, his breath coming out with a shudder as he let the emotions come. "It was just…hard today."

" _I know."_ Rin reached out, his right hand curling against the sheets, close to the camera. _"I feel it, too."_

He sniffed hard against the moisture that was gathering in his face. "Rin…" Haru pushed his left hand towards the screen, gripping the edge of the pillow as if he could grip Rin's hand…

Rin drew a long breath, his knuckles whitening briefly, then he exhaled slowly. _"Everyone has off days. You've seen me fuck up competitions before. Don't let it get to you."_

"Nn…" _If it was only that…_

" _What's bothering you? …Cause it's more than just missing each other, isn't it?"_

 _You can tell?_ Haru's fingers tightened around the pillow corner. He didn't let people see him like this. Not even Makoto. _It's the first time I tried to talk about it. …What I'm afraid of._ "The water didn't feel right today. I couldn't do it. If it happened again, like at regionals…" He swallowed hard, his gaze blurring with liquid. "Rin, if I couldn't swim with you anymore—" He couldn't even finish the thought aloud.

Rin's eyes widened.

_I don't know what I'd do._

" _Haru…"_ Rin's voice came out weak and shattered, his face crumpled on the laptop screen. _"I'm sorry I ever said that to you."_

Haru blinked back the moisture in his eyes. _Huh?_

Rin's face reddened, his eyes gleaming with anguish. _"I was such a stupid jerk. So full of myself. …And I said it_ knowing _it would hurt you…"_

Haru rubbed his eyes. "Rin? What are you talking about?"

" _In high school. At prefecturals. When I said I'd never swim with you again."_

 _Oh._ Haru quieted.

Shimmering trails of liquid ran across the bridge of Rin's nose, his words barely whispered. _"I wish I'd never said it. I wish I could erase ever saying that to you."_

 _I wasn't even thinking about that._ "Rin, I forgave you a long time ago for that."

Rin inhaled, meeting his gaze. _"…Really?"_

"Yeah." A warm feeling gathered in Haru's chest. "You've been regretting it, all this time?" _Three whole years._

Rin's face clouded. _"…Yeah."_

"Why didn't you say something?"

" _I didn't know how."_

 _Rin._ The pain he felt faded beneath a surge of longing. _I wish I could touch you_. He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around Rin and hold him…and be held in return.

Onscreen, Rin ran a hand across his face, drawing a long breath before turning back to the screen. _"Haru…even if something happened and one of us had to stop swimming competitively, or even just to take a break, that wouldn't be the end. We'd still swim together. I want to_ always _swim with you…no matter what."_

Haru's breath caught. "Rin…" The warm feeling spread, settling in his throat. "…It's a promise?"

" _Fuck yeah it's a promise,"_ Rin said, frowning a little. _"Swimming with you is important. You know that. I wouldn't be busting my ass for that relay spot still, if it wasn't."_

The tension bled from his limbs for the first time today. Haru smiled. " _Rin_ …"

Rin's face hardened. _"…Fuck this piece of…"_ The video shook as Rin rattled his tablet. _"I want to hug you."_

Haru relaxed against the sheets, content. "I want that too."

Exhaling, Rin seemed to calm down. _"Do you think you can sleep?"_

"I'll try. Do you need to go?"

" _No, leave this on."_ Rin's cheeks colored. _"I wanna stay with you."_

"OK." Haru closed his eyes, clutching the edge of his pillow. Hearing Rin's soft breathing, he could almost imagine… "Rin, if I close my eyes, it's almost like you're here."

" _Yeah."_ Rin's voice broke a little. _"Almost."_

-x-

Haru woke sometime later, shifting against the blankets. He stretched his legs out and rolled over, his hand bumping into his laptop. Remembering earlier, he opened his eyes… The screen was lit up, the Skype call still connected. Rin was passed out on his bed on his stomach, facing the camera. His lips were slightly parted, strands of hair lay scattered across his face, and his shoulders rose and fell as he breathed.

 _Rin._ Haru sighed, reaching out, running the backs of his fingers over the image of Rin's face. "I love you," he whispered.

He watched Rin sleep for a moment more before he sat up and logged off. He plugged his laptop in to charge, surprised the battery had lasted. Then he got up, pulling on one of his team T-shirts along with his warmup pants. His head didn't hurt anymore… _and I'm hungry._

Haru opened the curtains, grabbing a can of mackerel from his suitcase along with his travel chopsticks. Sitting himself at the desk, he looked out the window at the sunny city of Bergen while savoring his first bite of the rich, oily fish.

A knock sounded at the door, followed by a muffled voice. "…Nanase-kun?"

Haru got up, carrying his snack with him as he opened the door.

Coach Akagi was waiting in the hallway. He lifted a brow, his gaze stopping on the can Haru held. "…Did you bring that from home?"

"Yeah. Want some?" Haru nodded to the stacks of cans in his open suitcase. "I have more."

"No, thanks." Akagi paused, studying him for a moment. "Feeling better?"

Haru nodded.

A knowing smile crossed Akagi's face. "…Wanna give this a shot?"

"Yeah," Haru said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [AdO Arena](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/f/f/ff408b5c.jpg) (this is a sexy pool)  
> [Virtual tour](http://adoarena.no/virtuell-tur.html)


	13. 50 meter knock-out free, Part 2

It was dark when Rin woke up—the sun had already gone down and he grabbed the bedside clock—

_10:46pm_

Exhaling with relief, he slumped against the bed. He wasn't late yet—the finals in Bergen wouldn't start for more than an hour. _Fuck._ Only the bedside lamp was on, his tablet dark next to his pillow. Rin picked it up, rolling to sit and swiping his fingers across the glossy surface. Haru had logged off a while ago. That had to be a good sign.

Rin tossed the device aside, rubbing a hand over his face. His skin was rough with tracks of salt. What a fucking nap, though. He'd slept four…almost five hours? _Guess I needed it_. He hadn't slept longer in one go for days now. _Not since our last night together at the NTC, probably._

Rin got out of bed, righting his twisted sleep pants as he headed for the bathroom, flicking lights on as he went. The basin, the tub, the toilet, the countertop—everything was immaculate. He'd probably cleaned his entire apartment five times since Tuesday night. He was running out of things to do. Rin splashed water on his face, erasing the evidence of his earlier tears. _At this rate, I won't make it a fucking week._

He dried off and changed clothes, pulling on the dark red tank top, gray sweatshirt, and black pants he'd worn earlier. Grabbing his tablet and charger, he headed out the door…

The pub was one block east of his place, on the main thoroughfare between Koutei and Todai. The clouds were just rolling in, obstructing the stars. The wind had died down and the temperature had started to drop, though it wouldn't get too cold overnight. Being Saturday night, all of the pubs and karaoke places were crowded, tons of students were out and about in groups…and couples, too. The drunken flirting in the streets was annoying, but it was still better than being home by himself, alone with his thoughts. _Alone without you._

The tables out front at the pub were full of people laughing, drinking, and eating. Rin ducked through the crowds, heading inside. There were twice as many people here as when he left—pretty much the entire swim teams for both Koutei and Todai were packed into the tiny place. Every seat was taken, the tables cluttered with beer glasses and plates of skewers. On each of the four walls, huge screens were connected to the livestream from Norway. Right now, the feed was a countdown clock running above a set of flags hanging on a wall in the arena—representing the countries of swimmers participating in the meet: Ireland, Poland, Hungary, Switzerland, Denmark, Norway, Italy, the Czech Republic, Sweden, Iceland, and Japan.

"Matsuoka."

He paused inside the entryway at the sound of Coach Maekawa's voice. She was seated against the left-hand wall at a table for two, in a shimmering, form-fitting top, skinny jeans, and heeled sandals, her fingers laced together with the dark-haired woman sitting next to her. With her free hand, she gave him a thumb's up, smiling.

Rin nodded in reply. Then Haru must be feeling better. Rin was relieved, though it was still hard to forget the panic he'd felt when Maekawa pulled him aside earlier. He'd sprinted home…

 _Haru_. Rin's fingers tightened on his tablet. _Thanks for letting me in. I know it's not easy for you._ What he wouldn't give to be in Norway right now, so he could've crawled into bed with Haru and held him, instead of having to do it all through a screen. …Except it wouldn't have worked out like that, if he were there. He would've been dealing with his own races and prelims; he wouldn't have been able to leave. _Sometimes it's inconvenient, having such a demanding dream._

'Inconvenient,' _fuck. Sometimes it gets in the damn way. Or I wouldn't be 8600 kilometers from you right now and losing it every time I miss you._

"Rin!"

He turned towards Makoto's voice.

Makoto was waving from a table in the center of the room with a killer view, wearing his _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirt. He was seated with Mikoshiba, Takara, and Sousuke.

Rin shoved a hand through his hair, going to join them, though it didn't look like there was much of an empty seat…

"About time you showed up," Takara said, her face flushed with drink. She'd been going at it hard when he left hours ago and by the array of empty glasses on the table, he doubted she'd let up. "I thought you'd miss your boyfriend's race." She was sitting next to Sousuke in street clothes, her black hair loose down her back, several bangles glittering on her left wrist. More accurately, she was half in Sousuke's lap.

"There's still lots of time," Rin said.

Sousuke had one arm circled around Takara's waist—probably just to keep her upright. He was smiling in a way that wasn't a hundred percent genuine, dressed in another set of designer clothes Rin hadn't seen before—a fancy polo shirt and straight slacks.

Mikoshiba lifted a hand to wave down a server. " _Sumimasen!_ " He pointed to his empty beer glass.

Rin sighed. By now it was almost certain he'd be dragging his drunken teammates home at the end of the night…

"Rin, whatever you did…" Makoto was smiling, relief plain on his face. "Haru texted me a bit ago to say he was headed for warm ups."

Rin pressed his lips. "I didn't do anything." _I just distracted you with my own shit for a while, not even meaning to…_

"Oh, we should find you a seat—" Makoto looked around, frowning.

"There's one here," Sousuke said, sweeping Takara onto his lap and making a spot on the bench beside him.

Rin cocked a brow, but Takara seemed to take it in stride that Sousuke had become her chair. She moved her half-full beer glass out of the way, clearing off a section of the table for him. "Thanks," Rin muttered, sitting down.

"Did you eat, Rin?" Makoto asked. There was a plate piled high with skewer sticks in the center of the table. "It's almost last call."

Rin set his tablet down. "Yeah, I'll order something." He was famished from sleeping through dinner. He checked his phone, but Haru hadn't texted him. …Not that he really expected Haru to be the one to reach out first. Those moments were rare, unexplainable events. _Like Tuesday night when you texted me from the airport…_

"You got some rest," Sousuke said quietly.

Rin glanced at his friend. "A little." _You can tell, huh?_

Sousuke's eyes softened the slightest bit. "Good." He sipped his water.

They hadn't had a real conversation since their fight at the Japan Open, almost a week ago now—just these surface-level exchanges. Rin didn't know what to do and he was too tired to really get into it. So he just kept doing what he'd been doing—letting it go for now.

Rin exhaled and caught the server's attention…

-x-

At midnight, the countdown expired, the screens changing to the show the _Heatliste_ —the swimmers by lane with their times from the heats—for the women's 200m free final, the first event of the evening. The women were already on the blocks, ready to go. Rin perked up at the sound of the whistle, peering at the nearest screen, looking for any sign of Haru… The two announcers—both male—covered the women's race in Norwegian with cheering in the background. At the end of the race, as the women were climbing from the pool, the camera swung to the side of the pool, focusing on an entryway that had been setup near lane 0. Rin did a double take—did they renumber the lanes from this morning? One through ten…to zero through nine… _Oh, they did._

A tropical remix of some mid-eighties song played and there was a fog machine and blue laser lights crisscrossing a short red carpet at the entryway. The announcers switched to English as they introduced the finalists for the men's 200m free final, starting from lane eight and working their way down. " _…In lane four, representing Japan, Haruka Nanase…_ "

"Haru!" "Haruka!" Makoto and Takara both yelled at the screen.

Haru walked through the entryway in his warmups, his swim cap on, goggles perched on his forehead.

"Nanase-kun!" Mikoshiba leapt up, swaying drunkenly, and then most of the room was on their feet and cheering, especially the Koutei swim team.

 _Haru_. Rin inhaled as he stood, his eyes glued to Haru's form on the screen until he walked out of view of the camera. _You look good—like earlier didn't even happen._ But nerves still gathered in Rin's stomach as he watched.

The music faded and the camera returned to the pool, where the eight swimmers had stripped down to their swimsuits and were approaching the blocks. The _Heatliste_ flashed on screen—Haru in lane four, alongside competitors from Norway, Denmark, the Czech Republic, and Italy. The whistled sounded—quick pulses followed by the long whistle that sent the swimmers up onto the blocks. Haru set his feet for the start and bent down to grasp the block.

" _Take your marks."_

Rin held his breath, going still the way he would if he were there, on the block himself—

The buzzer sounded and all eight swimmers dove. After the underwater phase, Haru came up into a slight lead over the main pack of swimmers, heading into the first turn… The split showed on the screen at fifty meters, Haru just over 25 seconds, with the Italian swimmer in lane six close behind him. _Come on, Haru, you got this._ Rin tucked his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt, his fingers coiling as the competitors headed towards the halfway point. Haru was still neck-in-neck with the Italian swimmer. _There's a lot of race left though…_

Just approaching the wall for the second turn, Haru started to pull further ahead, his time flashing up at 52 seconds and change. After the underwater portion, he widened his lead to a length over the Italian swimmer in lane six and the Norwegian swimmer in lane three.

The pub filled with yelling as the swimmers approached the final turn.

Rin couldn't help joining in. "Haru!" His fists tightened in his pockets—

The Italian started to gain some ground, digging into Haru's lead, but Haru still hit the wall first at the final turn, a full second ahead. Then he was sprinting down the final fifty meters and Rin was on his toes, leaning towards the screen, cheering together with his friends and teammates—

With twenty-five meters left to go, Haru widened his lead to two full lengths and Rin knew— _knew_ —that no one would be able to catch him. Rin watched, proud, as Haru swam the last fifteen meters and hit the wall in first place, his time flashing up just sub 1:47. The next fastest swimmers were three seconds behind him.

" _Haru!_ " Rin's eyes burned with emotion, the thrill of it warm in his chest, and he rocked back on his heels.

On screen, the camera zoomed in on Haru, bobbing in lane four, with his goggles perched on his forehead as he caught his breath. He exchanged handshakes with the swimmers to either side of him before vaulting from the pool next to the block while the rest of the swimmers hung out on the lane lines or swam for the side.

 _Fucking show off._ Rin grinned.

The camera panned away, back to the fog machine and red carpet, new music starting as the announcer introduced the competitors for the women's 100m backstroke, junior final. Konishi Shiori, from Todai, would be swimming in the senior final, next.

Rin dropped back into his seat on the bench, flush with relief, and grabbed his phone. _[After how shitty you felt this earlier, you just pulled that off?]_ He sent the text hoping Haru would answer. There should be time. On screen, the junior swimmers dropped into the pool for their race.

The phone buzzed in Rin's hand. _[What was my time?]_

_[1:46.93]_

_[Nn.]_

Rin cocked a brow. _[Haru, since when do you care?]_

_[I care…]_

Rin smiled. _[I'm just glad you're feeling better.]_

_[Oh, I gotta go. Konishi's up.]_

On screen, the junior race was over and with a blast of music, the senior women were being announced.

"Shiori-chan!" Takara waved at the screen from where she sat, still occupying Sousuke's lap.

"Konishi!" The louder cheers came from the Todai crew this time.

Rin glanced around, catching sight of Kawamura, unfortunately. Of course that guy was here, seated a few tables over with members of the Todai swim team.

Konishi was in lane five, next to a three-time Olympian from Hungary who had top seed in lane four. The competitors jumped into the pool and climbed up onto the start holds… It was one quick down and back, Rin feeling like he'd go deaf from the yelling all around him. The Hungarian swimmer claimed an early half-length lead over Konishi and kept it throughout the race. Konishi hit the wall in second place, her time just over one minute and within half a second of the first place finisher.

"Shiori!" Takara was shouting again, cupping one hand around her mouth to yell at the screen.

 _You know she can't hear you, right?_ Rin sipped his water, clutching his phone in his other hand.

The race was followed by the prize ceremony for the women's 200m free, the camera focusing on a small podium on the opposite side of the pool from the stands. The women hustled over and stepped up, receiving their handshakes and certificates to loud applause. The men's 100m backstroke finals were next, both junior and senior heats. The competitors walked out to music that made Rin lift his brows. _This isn't boxing…_

"…Is that?" Makoto asked.

"It's from that old American movie, Rocky," Rin said.

Takara, on cue, started belting it out, totally butchering the English, and that only had half the room joining in (badly). " _It's the…Eye of the Tiger, it's the thrill of the fight_ …" And the fog machine was shooting flames instead…

_Well, it's different from Tatsumi…_

The music faded and the races went by quickly. Then it was time for the prize ceremony for the men's 200m free.

The camera panned slowly over to the podium as the announcer read off the names and times.

Rin leaned forward, willing the camera to hurry up and get there.

"… _And the winner, with a time of 1:46.93, from Japan, Nanase Haruka_."

"Haru!" "Haruka!"

Haru was standing on the top of the podium in his warmup jacket and jammers, with the second and third place competitors to either side of him. The other two were taller than him by several centimeters. There were handshakes all around and an official passed out their certificates. They posed for pictures during a round of applause and whistling, the camera getting a close-up of Haru's perfectly stoic face.

Then they were climbing down and the next bit of music played, loudly _—_ "… _Baby you're a firework_ —"

Rin choked on a sip of water.

Makoto looked at him. "Rin, didn't you…that one time, at karaoke…"

He cleared his throat, his face warming. "Same artist, different song."

On the screen, Haru paused, his ear cocked as if listening… Then he smiled.

Makoto chuckled. "Haru noticed, too."

Rin's cheeks went from warm to hot.

"Seijuurou, add that to the list for tonight," Takara said, laughing.

"Great idea, Takara-kun!" Mikoshiba tapped on his phone.

 _Oh great_. Events tonight were scheduled to run past 2am, Tokyo time. _The last thing I wanna do after that is sing fucking karaoke…_

Then, the announcers were introducing the swimmers for the women's 50m free junior and senior finals. The competitors walked the length of the pool, lining up at the turn side of the pool, near the water slides.

A phone buzzed—not his. Makoto picked his phone off the table, reading a text and smiling. Green eyes flicked in Rin's direction. "He says if you sing it, he wants another video."

Rin grunted, lifting his phone. _[No, Haru. You didn't delete the last one?]_

_[I'm never deleting it.]_

_[Nn… Haru.]_

_[I'm watching it right now. It makes me happy. You have a sexy roar, Rin.]_

_Fuck_. Rin dropped his head onto the table.

Another text arrived. _[If I win this next race, will you do it?]_

_[Haru, don't do anything stupid. Not after the way you were feeling earlier.]_

_[I won't. You don't have to worry.]_

He sighed.

_[It could be for my birthday.]_

Rin stilled, realizing it for the first time… Haru's birthday was June 30th—right fucking in the middle of their two month separation. _Haru_. His fingers tightened on his phone. _[OK, maybe.]_

_[Really?]_

_[Not promising. …Haru, that's really all you want?]_

_[Of course not. I want you, but that's not going to happen, so…]_

Rin's shoulders slumped, the weight of it all pressing down on him. _I hate this. I fucking hate this—_

_[Oh, I gotta go check in.]_

Rin sat back, running a hand through his hair.

"You OK?" Makoto asked.

"Mm." He exhaled. "I forgot Haru's birthday's next month."

Makoto's face smoothed. "Yeah."

Rin returned his gaze to the screen, holding his phone in his lap. The senior women had just finished their race. _Runde 1_ , the screen said. The camera panned back to the other end of the pool where five women from the junior final were up on the blocks. _Oh, you're fucking kidding._

"Knock-out finals?" Makoto said, his voice tinged with concern.

Rin pressed his lips. "He promised he wouldn't do anything stupid." _Like not fucking breathe. At least, don't just 'forget' like you did yesterday._

The women's 50m free final continued with two more rounds each—five swimmers, then three. It was followed by the presentation of awards for the women's 100m backstroke where Konishi got her second place certificate.

Some pop-style music played as they introduced the men for the 50m free final, the juniors first followed by the seniors. Haru walked out when his name was called for lane four in the senior race, wearing his Team Japan warmups.

Rin gripped his phone as the yelling started in the room. "Haruka!" "Nanase-kun!"

The eight junior swimmers took the blocks first and dove… Not a minute later, the camera panned back and Haru was on the block for round one of the senior's race. Haru had a swimmer from Sweden on his left and a swimmer from Italy on his right. The arena went quiet for the start…

The seniors dove and Rin held his breath— The competitors—all of eight of them—were in an unbroken line, neck-in-neck as they crossed the pool. In the last fifteen meters, the Italian in lane five took a slight lead. Haru hit the wall in second place, with a time of 23.16, just a tenth of a second behind the leader.

Rin released the breath he'd been holding, watching Haru follow the other swimmers to the side of the pool to climb out and head back to the start while more pop music played.

The five junior swimmers dove into the pool for their second round… Then Haru was back on the block in lane four, setting his feet at the whistle. It was hard to tell from such a wide camera angle, but Haru didn't look too tired yet.

 _Come on, Haru_. Rin rubbed a hand over his face, the nerves tight in his stomach.

The five swimmers dove from lanes three through seven, all together until the halfway point, then Haru, the Italian, and the Swede started to pull ahead. Haru hit the wall at 23.87, in first place by less than a tenth of a second. All the swimmers were breathing hard as they cleared the pool.

More music played as three juniors took the blocks for their final round. Haru was walking back to the opposite side of the pool while they dove in and swam.

After the junior race, the announcer reintroduced the swimmers for the senior final, a quick read off of the names—the swimmers in lanes three, four, and five with Haru in the middle. Their times from the last round flashed up on screen, all of them within 0.2 seconds of each other.

"Haru!" "Nanase-kun!" The cheering was deafening again and Rin stayed in his seat, his eyes glued to the screen, not really breathing…

The swimmers set their feet and tensed for the start. They dove and shot across the pool—

 _Haru_. From the halfway point, he'd eked out the slightest lead. Then going into the final fifteen, the swimmer on his left started to fall back. Rin leaned forward as Haru reached for the wall. His time flashed up at 23.51, in first place, with the Italian on his right taking second at 23.72.

"Yes!" Rin pounded a fist on the table as Koutei students around him jumped up and cheered.

The camera focused in on the swimmers for a moment, Haru propping his goggles onto his forehead and clinging to the side of the pool as he caught his breath. But he looked OK and Rin's heart settled. _You told me not to worry, but I can't help it._

" _Nanase-kun!_ " That shout came from onscreen, from one of their teammates, probably Konishi.

Rin sat back in his seat, a weight off his shoulders. Haru could relax now—he didn't have any more races until the 100m free heats and final tomorrow (technically tonight, Tokyo-time, seeing that it was approaching 1am…).

After the presentation of awards for the men's 100m backstroke, the women were introduced for the 200m fly—the junior race and then the seniors.

"… _In lane four, Olympic bronze medalist, representing Japan, Yumiko Ozawa._ "

"Yumi-chan!" Takara cheered, slapping the table.

The whole pub was in an uproar during the senior race as Ozawa—a Todai alum, and the Hungarian swimmer in lane five battled for first place. From 50 to 150 meters, Ozawa _had_ it, but after the last turn, going into the final sprint, her competitor took the lead. Ozawa finished second, just a few strokes behind the winner, to a mix of groaning and cheering from the audience in the pub. There was a close-up of Ozawa and the Hungarian swimmer shaking hands over the lane line before the camera panned away again, the announcer introducing the ceremony for the women's 50m free.

Haru hadn't texted yet. Rin waited, watching the men's 200m fly finals that followed—some of these guys in the senior race, he'd be swimming with them in Rio.

Then, it was time for the prize ceremony for the men's 50m free…

Why was the camera still focused on the pool? _Get to the podium already._

The three juniors were introduced first and climbed up onto the podium for their certificates. Then the seniors joined them, Haru in his jacket and jammers, sharing the top step of the podium with the junior first-place finisher. Everyone had to shake everyone else's hand and the seniors got their certificates.

"Nanase-kun!" "Haru!" "Haruka!"

The camera zoomed in for a brief close-up and Haru was looking right at the lens, holding up his certificate and pointing at it. His eyes were heated and expectant and there was no mistaking the syllables that formed on his lips— _Rin._ Haru smiled.

Rin's face burned, shrill cat-calls and hoots filling the pub.

Takara twisted around on Sousuke's lap, one brow cocked. "What did you promise him if he won?"

"Nothing," Rin said, even the tips of his ears feeling hot.

Makoto chuckled—and it was an evil chuckle, damnit. "There might be something you can help me with later, Sakamoto-senpai." He smiled sweetly.

"Oh?" Takara grinned.

" _Oi_ —"

On screen, the men left the podium. The women were announced for the 50m butterfly knock-out finals and the pub crowd got loud again as Ozawa walked out.

Rin got up on the pretense of using the restroom. What he really wanted to do was splash cold water on his face to stop the fucking burning…

His phone trilled on the way.

Rin stopped in the corridor that led to the restrooms, pulling the device from his pocket and answering the Skype call.

Haru was standing in a white hallway, a towel draped around his neck. His hair was damp like he'd just gotten out of the shower and his eyes were warm with affection. "Rin, thanks for earlier."

Rin leaned back against the wall, staggered by Haru's words and the tender look. "Yeah." It filled him with emotion that made his heart pound, made the air feel thick in his throat. _Almost like a…_ "Verbal hug," he murmured. _You're doing this on purpose._

Haru's eyes softened further. "Yeah."

Rin soaked it all in, not saying anything and not needing to, just holding Haru's gaze and _feeling_ it…

-x-

Approaching 2am, he was starting to drag. Even with his nap earlier, it was catching up with him, the multiple nights staying awake long after midnight and the fact that he wasn't sleeping well in the first place.

Takara, in full-on giddy drunk mode, had stumbled off towards the bathroom with the help of another girl, abandoning Sousuke's lap for the first time all night.

Sousuke stretched his legs out with a wince, Rin noticing.

"She's not heavy but my legs have been asleep for the past hour," he said.

"Why didn't you kick her off?" Rin asked.

Sousuke shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

Rin tossed his legs over the other side of the bench and twisted around, leaning back against the edge of the table as he stretched and stifled a yawn. "Hm." He propped his elbows on the tabletop, surveying a room still packed with drunken fans. The moment his eyes caught on Kawamura, Rin regretted looking away from the screen.

At a table near the wall, Kawamura had a girl on his lap—she had short blond hair and wasn't the girl Rin had caught him with in the shower at the NTC. She was giggling at whatever he was whispering in her ear. They shared a charged look and then the couple was getting up, slipping towards the exit… Rin tensed, his stomach muscles clenching.

Sousuke hummed beside him. "Well, there go my plans for the evening."

The blithe words left Rin cold. He glanced at his best friend… Sousuke wore a smile as easy as his words and it was all surface, veiling anything and everything that was going on underneath.

Rin straightened, slipping his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt. "Sousuke, we need to talk."

Sousuke's gaze flicked to him aside, some of the pretense fading from his face.

Rin pressed his lips. "In private," he said, keeping his voice quiet.

-x-

They ended up in the hallway upstairs, on the first of several floors of karaoke rooms. Rin leaned against the wall, around the corner from the elevators, facing his best friend across the dimly-lit corridor.

"You should be more careful," he said. "That guy gets around. A lot."

Sousuke chuckled, brushing one hand through his short hair. "I know that, Rin. We're always up front with each other about who else we're sleeping with. We're always safe."

Rin drew a sharp breath. "You're sleeping with other people, too?"

Sousuke slipped his hands into the pockets of his slacks, giving Rin a mild look. "No one else at the moment…but let's just say I keep my options open."

Rin pressed his lips, his jaw stiff. "He's using you. To him you're nothing but—"

There was a sudden titter of feminine laughter and unsteady footsteps approaching—

Sousuke grabbed Rin's arm, pulling him into the nearest karaoke room and closing the door. The room was unoccupied, the lights flashing from the front by the screen, bathing the room in shifting colors—pink, yellow, and blue. The entry alcove was the width and depth of the door, then low couches lined the walls of the room with a table in the center.

"Nothing but what?" Sousuke asked, releasing his arm.

Rin shoved his hands into his pockets, so Sousuke couldn't see the fists he was making. "Convenient," he said, his voice tight.

"That's hardly fair, Rin." Sousuke leaned back against the closed door, his smile belying the frost edging into his gaze as blue light switched to yellow. "You don't know us. Kawamura and I have been keeping each other company for a while now. We understand each other."

Rin flinched, stung by the implication in what Sousuke said. His fingernails bit into his palms. _So what? That doesn't mean you should let him use you like this._ The words and feelings were gathering inside him like a storm—had been for months—and he gritted his teeth in an attempt to keep them at bay—

Sousuke shrugged lightly. "So it's a good arrangement for both of us."

An ' _arrangement?_ ' _Sousuke, fuck—_ The dam burst and Rin was moving forward, the words exploding from his throat— "Didn't you _ever_ want to be more than that to someone? Did you _ever_ want to be everything to someone…and them be everything to you?" Hot liquid burned his eyes. "Dreams that you could only achieve together…instead of this cheap…" _Using each other._ He trailed off, the anger fading to some kind of sorrow, a shudder going through him as he forced his hands to loosen.

Sousuke straightened from the door, his gaze dark and face smooth. "Can you even hear yourself, Rin? There's a whole ocean between your head and your heart and you don't even realize it." He reached out—

Rin slapped the hand away, fresh pain running through him. "Don't change the subject. Answer me. Why are you treating yourself like this? Like you're not worth more…"

"Careful." Sousuke's jaw went rigid. "You don't know what you're asking."

"The hell I don't! Answer the _fucking_ question!" He seethed with rough breaths.

Sousuke's eyes narrowed, the intensity in emerald irises laid bare and unveiled, no longer hidden. "…Of course I wanted all that, Rin." His voice was low, measured. "But by the time I realized how I felt, it was too late. He was already gone."

 _He_ … The words hit him like a slap across the face. Rin's head spun. _Oh God…_

Sousuke held his gaze, not blinking and not letting him look away. "I trained hard, pushing myself towards my dream—the dream I wanted with him. But that dream shattered. All I'm left with are tastes, memories, wishes… Regrets…" He was moving forward, Rin unconsciously backing up. "It does something to a person, Rin, all those feelings festering inside. Impulses and longings spill out in all sorts of ways. It's difficult to keep it in all the time…"

Rin's calves hit the edge of the sofa abruptly, knocking him off balance. His fingertips scraped against the wall, failing to find purchase as he fell, landing on his elbows against the cushions. Before he could get up, Sousuke had leaned over him, one hand on the back of the couch, the other on the edge of the cushions, trapping Rin between.

Sousuke lifted his brows mildly. "See what I mean? This is why I don't tell you these things."

Rin struggled to breathe, to make sense of things. His heart thudded in his throat. He was panicking inside, paralyzed by Sousuke's proximity and the force of his gaze. He swallowed hard. "…You should've said something back then."

Sousuke's eyes hardened to a glare. "…Like it would've made a difference then. Like it makes a difference now."

Rin's head was screaming, hurts and pains nearly a decade old flooding through him. His eyes stung, his vision blurring. "I _wanted_ to swim with you." The words came out in shattered whispers. "Don't you remember?" _Because you were there when my dad died. You of all people should've known what it meant to me._ "But you didn't want to. The relay wasn't good enough for you."

Sousuke's face went blank with shock, his eyes flaring wide. "Rin…"

"So don't say this is my fault!" He shoved at Sousuke's shoulders. "Like you're some _fucking_ martyr." _Our dreams never synced up from the start._

Sousuke straightened, stepping back and dropping down to sit on the opposite sofa.

Rin sat up, fixing his sweatshirt where it had started to fall from his shoulders. He drew deep breaths, trying to calm down, and slowly ran his fingers through his hair. The colors continued to shift in the room, pink…blue…yellow…

"Rin, I'm sorry."

He snorted, not meeting his friend's gaze. "Sure." _Whatever_. That apology was only a decade too late. He got up, heading for the door—

But Sousuke was there, grabbing his wrist before he could touch the door handle. Rin's back hit the wall in the entryway.

"I mean it, Rin," Sousuke said, his face too close, his eyes too turbulent and penetrating to look away from. "I said I was too stupid back then to realize what I had, right in front of me."

 _Sousuke_. Rin's fingers curled.

Sousuke hadn't let go yet. Instead, his gaze flicked very deliberately down Rin's face, landing on his lips. "I'm sorry I pushed you away." Sousuke's grasp loosened around Rin's wrist. Their eyes met again, the expression on Sousuke's face uncharacteristically soft and vulnerable—naked with longing and pain. "It's too late for us, right? You're in love with him."

Rin inhaled, his chest tightening. _In love with him…_

Sousuke's brows rose. "Are you not?" A dangerous look stirred in emerald eyes. Fingertips whispered down the side of Rin's face, brushing errant strands of hair back behind his ear, while he stood there paralyzed and not breathing. "Because…if not…" Then Sousuke was leaning in, his fingers settled against Rin's chin—

Rin came back to himself with a start, getting a hand between them and pushing as he turned his face away. "Hey, don't."

Sousuke released him and stepped back, his face shuttering.

Rin caught his breath slowly, desperate to center himself while his inner voice shrieked at him. _Fuck. FUCK._

Sousuke sighed and turned for the exit. "…Do us all a favor and figure out what you really want. Maybe then I'd have some chance in hell of getting over you." He pulled the door open and left the room.

Rin sat down as Sousuke's footsteps retreated, a million broken thoughts whirling in his head. _I can't believe he just tried to… I can't believe he never told me…I never realized…_ He covered his mouth with the back of his hand, as if he could shield himself from the memory of what _almost_ happened.

There was a knock at the door. "Rin? Yamazaki said…" The door opened and Makoto was standing there, his eyes going wide, startled.

Rin flushed hard, lowering his hand. "Makoto."

Makoto's face clouded. He looked away, his knuckles whitening on the door handle, hesitating like he couldn't decide whether to stay or leave.

 _Oh God, you think…_ Rin got to his feet. "It isn't—"

"—Tell me this isn't what it looks like," Makoto said, his voice hushed but firm. "…Unless it is. If it is, I want to know."

"We had a fight."

Makoto met his gaze. "…And?"

Rin pressed his lips, embarrassed. "Sousuke…tried something. I didn't let him."

Makoto exhaled, his expression softening. "Why not?"

 _Why not?_ "Because…" _Haru…_

Makoto studied his face for a long moment, then his shoulders relaxed. "OK."

"Huh?" _What are you reading on my face?_

"I believe you." He shrugged.

"Makoto…" Rin tucked his hands into pockets of his sweatshirt. "Did Haru ask you to…?"

"Haru wouldn't think to ask those kinds of things. He trusts you."

Rin's hands coiled in his pockets. _It's not like we ever really made things official. But I don't want an 'open' thing with you, Haru. I don't want to share._

Makoto released the door handle, his hands resting at his sides. "You're still sure you don't want to fall in love? Because of your dad?"

His eyes widened. _You actually brought it up. After all this time_ … "I…" _I can't, but… Do I want to? Does part of me want to? To…fall in love with Haru?_ "I…don't know."

Makoto's face eased; he even smiled. "Well, you've got some time to think about it, hmm?" He turned to go.

"Makoto…" The question was on his tongue, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer. "Do you…?"

Makoto didn't meet his gaze. His voice, when he spoke, was quiet. "Haru and I…were never on the same page. It's OK. I can't really…compete with the way he looks at you, Rin." When he glanced back, his face had warmed; he looked more normal though Rin wondered how much of that was a cover, a defense. "I've gotten over it."

 _Have you really?_ "Sorry. About those things I said, that time."

"I know." Makoto smiled. "As long as you're not… I mean, if you were toying with him, I wouldn't like that very much."

Rin stiffened. "I'm not." _I would never._

"Yeah. I can see that." Makoto drew a breath that had pain to it. "You guys are really good for each other. Be sure to take care of him, when you're together in Brazil."

"I will." It wasn't a promise he took lightly. _Especially in light of how you feel about him… Whether it was past or present doesn't really matter._

Makoto tilted his head, smiling more naturally, sections of tawny hair shifting across his brow. "In the meantime, seeing how the finals are over and your teammates are passed out downstairs… I hoped you could give me hand?"

Rin exhaled, nodding. "Yeah, of course."

* * *

Sunday, May 29th, 2016

* * *

The sun was fucking _rising_ by the time Rin got back to his apartment after helping Makoto haul Mikoshiba and Takara back to their building on the north side of campus. He collapsed on top of the covers, dead to the world…

Hours later, he regained consciousness, daylight streaming in through the windows above his bed between the open curtains. Grunting, Rin rolled onto his back, blinking at the ceiling and running a hand over his face. _What the fuck?_ It wasn't any better now than it had been last night. Wasn't there any way to go back to the way the world was before? _Before_ he'd cornered his best friend into confessing to him… _before_ Sousuke tried to kiss him… _before_ everyone in the whole fucking world wanted him to sort out how he felt.

 _Like it's that easy_. Rin tugged on a few strands of hair. If it was…there wouldn't be any question. _Haru and I would be lovers and Rio wouldn't even be a thing._ He frowned, dropping his arm back to the bed. _But that assumes we have anything aside from swimming… If we didn't start with swimming, would we be together now? I don't fucking know…_

What he _did_ know was the determination he'd always had. _I'm not giving up my dream for anyone._ Though, his chest tightened a little as he thought that… Rin swallowed hard. _Not even for—_

Haru's voice echoed in his head. _I'd never ask you to give up your dream, Rin._

 _Fuck—_ _All these stupid emotions_. He twisted onto his stomach, shoving his face into his pillow. Haru being gone only made it harder. _When I want to see you so bad it hurts._ It made Rio seem like a far-off thing that couldn't possibly matter as much in comparison. But it was fragile, _so damn fragile._ _When less than a tenth of a second decides it all_.

Rin sighed and lifted his head, finally glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

_Oh, shit—_

-x-

He sprinted to the Sports Complex on campus, stripped and shoved his stuff into a locker, and headed out to the pool deck. Coach Maekawa was waiting, perched on the closest row of bleachers, by the white board. She was in her Team Japan warmup pants and a gray T-shirt, with her wavy brown hair pulled back and sunglasses shielding her eyes. _Sunglasses indoors…_

"No need to rush, Matsuoka," she said, getting up. "I got your text."

He bowed anyway, clutching his cap and goggles in one hand. " _Sumimasen._ "

"No, really, I just got here. Mizuki and I stayed later than you guys, making sure everyone got home OK." She yawned, flicking a hand towards the pool. "Normal warm ups, then your set starts with all-out fifties, sub-22.5, on two minutes, until I decide you're done."

 _Fuck, you guys_ are _coordinating._ But, "22.5?"

Maekawa smiled. "It's a twenty-five meter pool; don't think I'm letting you off easy."

Rin exhaled. "Hai." He headed for the blocks, pulling on his swim cap…

-x-

When Rin was done with Maekawa's swim set from hell, he rinsed off in the shower, threw a towel over his shoulders and checked his phone. He had an email from Captain Ikehara with an attachment. Rin opened the message, tapping the image icon to start it downloading.

 _[So, this happened today,]_ Captain Ikehara wrote. _[To be fair, I'm not 100% sure what "this" is, but Nanase-kun asked me to take a photo and send it to you. Here you go.]_

The picture finished downloading and Rin's eyes widened—

Location-wise, the photo was taken in a brightly-lit lobby area of AdO Arena, the stands visible through a glass wall. As for the subject of the photo… Haru, Ozawa, and Konishi were posing in front of the glass in AdO Arena practice wear—dark teal swimsuits with lighter teal text, bodysuits for the women and jammers for Haru. They were pseudo-modeling, each in a different, cheesy pose. Konishi, on the right, had paused pushing black hair from her face. On the left, Ozawa stood tall with a hand against her neck. …And Haru was in the center with his eyes closed, his body slightly angled to the camera, one arm flung to the side as if he'd just thrown off his clothes on the way to the pool—

Rin stared at the photo—at Haru—for several seconds, dumbstruck. _Haru…what the serious fuck is this?_ He sighed, smiling a little and saving the photo to his phone. _You're obviously feeling better._

… _Wish I could say the same_. He gripped the phone, his hand dropping into his lap, a heavy weight pushing down on his shoulders. It was guilt, his mind full of flashbacks of last night, of the wall at his back and Sousuke touching his face. _Why'd I even let it get that far?_

 _It's too late for us, right? You're in love with him._ Sousuke's words ran through his mind, incessant. _…Because if not…_

Rin grit his teeth. _Because if I'm not in love with him, I'm available? Because if I don't love him, what he and I have isn't anything that matters? Because if I don't love him, I should be casually fucking around like you and Kawamura?_ Water dripped from his hair onto his arms and legs as he curled forward, pain running through him. _You don't get it at all, Sousuke_.

-x-

Rin was calmer after a nice long run, some lifting at the gym, and a hot shower. He got to the pub just after 3pm, his tablet tucked under one arm, his hands slipped into the pockets of his sweatshirt. Inside, there was a low rumble of conversation, the place only half-full, and a good portion of the patrons looked to be nursing their hangovers from last night, still. The countdown clock was going on the screens.

"Rin!" Makoto smiled, waving him over. He was wearing a green polo shirt today and jeans.

"Makoto, not so fucking loud," Takara said, her head down on the table's surface, on top of her folded arms. She was wearing different clothes, at least—leggings and a sweatshirt that said _FREESTYLE_ across the shoulders.

"Rough night, Sakamoto?" Rin asked, taking the empty seat on the bench beside her, across from Makoto and Mikoshiba.

"Shut up, Matsuoka," she said, with a groan.

Sousuke wasn't present and Rin doubted he'd show up, after last night. Just as well. _I'm not sure I can deal with him today, anyway._

Mikoshiba was snoring, his cheek flat against the table's surface, one hand curled around an empty glass of water.

 _How did you even get them here?_ Rin glanced at Makoto, who was his usual, smiling self.

"Did you see the photo, Rin?" Makoto asked.

"Hm?"

"Your boyfriend launching his modeling career with Yumi and Shiori," Takara said, not lifting her head from her arms. "It's been around the world three times already. The sponsor reps were drooling over the publicity, I heard."

Makoto held up his phone and there was the same photo, though from a slightly different angle like someone else had taken the picture.

"Who posted it?" Rin asked.

"Someone in Bergen, I guess." Makoto chuckled. "It's funny, he usually hates having his picture taken, but Nagisa used to get him to do things like this back in high school. It's good that he's getting more comfortable."

"Hm." Takara perched her chin on the table, her eyes bloodshot. "'Comfortable.'" She smirked, her eyes flicking to Rin, askance. "Yumi said they were going off the high dive the other day."

"…What?" Rin's eyes widened.

"Who knew your quiet little Haruka had a bit of daredevil in him, hmm?" She sat up and stretched, stifling a yawn. "It's normal, I think. Being away from home, travel stresses on top of competition pressure… Gotta let loose somehow."

_Tch, preferably in some way where you're not gonna injure yourself…_

Rin's phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket.

 _[Onii-chan, have you seen this? Those triceps!]_ Gou had attached the photo.

 _[Yup,]_ he texted back. _[Saw it.]_ He sighed, flipping contacts… _[Haru, the high dive, really?]_

Not a minute later, the phone buzzed against his palm. _[How'd you hear about that?]_

_[Sakamoto, via Ozawa.]_

_[Oh.]_

Rin rolled his eyes. _['Oh?' Haru, you could hurt yourself doing stuff like that.]_

There was a pause. _[Rin, you're at the pub, right? Can you talk?]_

Rin's heart jumped into his throat. He got up— "I'll be right back." Rin headed outside where it was sunny and breezy, the clouds traversing the sky at a decent clip. He switched over to Skype… "Haru, is something wrong?"

Haru blinked at him from a white hallway, his hair damp. He wore his Team Japan warmups with a towel slung across his shoulders. _"No, I just wanted to see you and hear your voice."_

"Fuck, Haru." Rin exhaled, pushing a hand through his hair. "Don't say it like that then. You had me worried."

Haru's eyes warmed. _"You worry about me a lot, Rin."_

"Yeah, well, stop giving me reasons to! The high dive?"

" _Just the three-meter one."_ His brows lifted. _"I thought you'd be happy I tried something new."_

Rin frowned. "Well, I am, I just…" _I'm jealous. I want to be there with you._

Haru's face softened. _"I wish you were here, Rin."_

"Haru…" Emotion lodged in his throat.

" _Did you get Captain Ikehara's email?"_

"Yeah, me and half the fucking planet, apparently."

Haru shrugged, his blue eyes unconcerned. _"I don't care who sees it. I wanted you to see it, though."_ He arched a brow. _"I can send one just for you, later, if you want."_

"Haru, don't you dare start sexting me."

Haru's gaze glittered with amusement, which faded as his voice quieted. _"I wanted you to know I was feeling better. I actually got some sleep last night."_

Rin let out a breath. "I'm glad."

" _Did you sleep?"_

"Some…" Rin said. "I was up pretty late dealing with Mikoshiba and Sakamoto… I didn't wake up until noon."

Haru smiled. _"You're on my time."_

"Eh, almost." Rin rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "Coach Maekawa said I should just stick with it if I can. Canet's in the same time zone."

" _Yeah."_ Haru's face smoothed. _"That'll be easier."_

 _But we'll still be in completely different countries…_ He dropped his hand to his side. "Are you ready for your race?"

" _Should be fine. Warm ups were good this morning."_ Haru looked away then, his head cocked like he was listening to something in the distance. _"Mm, I should head upstairs."_

Rin nodded, searching for the right words... An idea sparked in his head. "Haru." He waited until their gazes met, Haru questioning him with a look. "Show me what you swim like, when you're feeling this good."

Haru drew a slow breath. _"You're not here, Rin."_

"That's not keeping you from high dives, photo ops, and being sassy with me."

Haru's gaze sharpened as he accepted the challenge. _"OK. But I'll expect the same from you in France."_

Rin smiled. "Deal."

They waved at each other and Haru ended the call.

Rin sighed, his arm falling to his side. He looked up, at the puffy clouds traipsing across a field of brilliant blue. _I didn't even remember to feel guilty or awkward…_ The breeze sifted through his hair. _It's so easy to be with you, Haru. It's so easy to lose myself in you._ He pocketed his phone, his hands curling. _I want to hug you so fucking bad right now…_

-x-

The heats for the 100m free were up first, the women followed by the men, starting at 4pm, Tokyo time. The pub was more crowded now, though not full. Rin poured himself another cupful of water as servers went around the room carrying trays of sizzling skewers fresh off the grill.

"Last heats first again," Makoto said, as the women for heat 20 of the 100m free took the blocks for the first race of the day.

"Why not skip right to the action?" Takara said, working on her first beer. "I think it's a great idea."

"As long as you seeded into the top three," Mikoshiba said, sipping an iced coffee and looking slightly more awake, but not his typically exuberant self.

Takara flicked a length of hair behind her shoulder. "If you're not in the top three, what's the fucking point?"

Rin pursed his lips. _It's weird when I agree with you. I'm not sure I like it._

After three quick heats for the women, it was time for the men's 100m free, heats 17 through 19. Haru was in the 19th heat in lane five (for the heats, they were back to numbering the lanes 1-10). The announcer read off the names while the previous heat was swimming their race. As the camera switched back to the finish, Rin could see Haru standing behind the blocks, adjusting his swim cap, in his Team Japan jammers.

 _Haru_. _It's only been five days out of sixty._ Rin could feel himself starting to get emotional even though it was the weirdest time and he should've been either eager or nervous to watch Haru race. But it kept just hitting him at these inconvenient moments… _8600 kilometers_. It ached so fucking bad…

The swimmers for the 18th heat clung to the lane lines out of the way while the swimmers for the 19th heat took the blocks…

Rin's teammates and the Koutei students started cheering and calling Haru's name while Rin just watched the screen, concentrating on breathing around the lump forming in his throat.

The _Heatliste_ flashed on screen, followed by the long whistle. Haru stepped up onto the lane five block and set his feet, bending for the start…

" _Take your marks_."

Haru settled back…at the start, he shot forward like a bullet, slicing into the pool alongside his competitors. Rin held his breath as he watched Haru surface in the lead, already pulling away from the pack, gaining speed with each stroke. As he approached the turn, the pub was on its feet, the cheers increasing to outright yelling. Haru flipped into the turn, his split time flashing up at 23.50 and Rin got up, gripping the table with white knuckles. Haru widened his lead as he sprinted the last fifty meters, flying into the wall, the announcer's voice rising in excited Norwegian before he switched to English.

"… _With a new arena record, Haruka Nanase, 47.88_."

The pub went wild with excited screaming.

Rin's eyes burned and filled with liquid. _Haru_. He struggled to draw breath, the first tears streaking down his cheeks.

Takara gripped his arm. "He just tied your National Record."

On the screen, there was a brief close-up of Haru bobbing in lane five, pushing his goggles onto his forehead. Even in Bergen, they were cheering for him, a lot more people than just Team Japan. He was breathing hard, the camera catching the way his face clouded before he turned to the edge of the pool and hoisted himself out.

"Not that he looks happy about it," Mikoshiba said.

"Haru…" Makoto whispered.

On the screen, Haru walked out of view and attention turned to the 6th heat of the women's 200m breaststroke.

Rin got up, heading swiftly for back of the restaurant, to the stairwell. After sprinting up one flight of stairs, he exited into the dim hallway of the first karaoke floor, where it was quiet, and took out his phone. Just as his thumb was hovering over the call button, the phone trilled in his hand. Rin answered.

Haru was standing in the white hallway again and hadn't even bothered with getting dressed or drying off. Water rolled off his black swim cap, dripped from the goggles on his forehead, and splashed onto his shoulders. When he lifted his face to the camera, his nose and cheeks were reddened, his eyes gleaming with liquid and heartbreak. " _Rin_." His voice came out a raw whisper, the words taking obvious effort. "… _How was that?_ "

More tears slid down Rin's face as he slumped against the wall behind him. " _Haru_ …" And he had no other words, feeling every single kilometer of the 8600 separating them in the emptiness of his arms where Haru should've been.

* * *

Wednesday, June 1st, 2016

* * *

10:30am felt really early after a long weekend of late nights. Rin stood next to Makoto in the departure lobby on the third floor of Haneda's International Terminal, waiting as Takara and Mikoshiba checked their bags at the Lufthansa counter. They were headed for a competition in Monaco this weekend, ahead of their Open Water Swim qualification races in Portugal, June 10th and 11th. Rin shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt, fighting a yawn.

"You're staying on European time?" Makoto asked, smiling warmly.

"Trying." Not that he was being very successful at it. His sleep schedule continued to suck when dawn jerked him awake at 4:30am every morning. But what grated on him more were the four days yet to go before he left on Sunday. It felt like everyone was abandoning him. _To be fair, I left everyone behind when I went to Australia, both times. …This still sucks._

"Oh, looks like they're done." Makoto started off and Rin followed; Mikoshiba was waving as he and Takara exited the check-in line.

They neared the security checkpoint and Rin tensed, because Sousuke was there, standing with Kawamura, the two engaged in a quiet conversation. He looked away, his hands curling in his pockets. _We haven't talked or seen each other since Saturday night._

Coach Maekawa was hugging her girlfriend goodbye, dressed in stylish street clothes with sunglasses perched on top of her head and a blue leather travel bag slung over her shoulder. She parted from Mizuki with a wave, then smiled at the approaching Olympians. "OK, when you're all ready…"

Kawamura left Sousuke and joined her, carrying a backpack.

Mikoshiba adjusted the strap of his messenger bag, over his T-shirt and hoodie. "Good luck, Matsuoka," he said, smiling.

"Yeah, you too," Rin said, nodding to his former captain.

"Thanks for the help, Tachibana-kun."

"Of course." Makoto smiled. "Good luck, Mikoshiba-senpai."

The guy waved and moved away.

Takara had scampered off in Sousuke's direction. Rin glanced over, watching the tight hug and short exchange of words. Takara wore such a genuine smile looking up at Sousuke that she hardly seemed like the same girl Rin had met during the Olympic Trials. Sousuke had a fond look on his face as she released him and returned, her hair and blouse shimmering under the bright lighting.

"Makoto!" Takara threw her arms around Makoto's waist, squeezing briefly.

Makoto returned the hug a bit awkwardly. "Good luck, Sakamoto-senpai."

"Thanks!" She grinned, letting go of him and turning.

Rin's eyes widened as she hugged him too—just a quick squeeze, but it startled him all the same. _Weren't we supposed to be fighting this whole time?_ She drew back, a soft look in her green eyes. "Hang in there," she said quietly.

"Ah…" he said, stunned, and it was all he could manage as she smiled and trotted off to join the others.

Rin and Makoto waved as the four got in line for security. _Well that was different._

"It's nice to see Sakamoto-senpai in a good mood for once," Makoto said.

 _Is that what that was? …Nn._ A minute later, the Olympians had been engulfed by the line and Rin returned his hands to his pockets. He glanced over at Sousuke—he couldn't help it. Sousuke was standing by himself, his hands resting in the pockets of his jeans, the sleeves of his button-down shirt rolled up to his elbows. The shirt itself looked rumpled. Sousuke looked over…and his face clouded. At once he averted his eyes.

Rin swallowed against an ache in his chest and looked away.

"Well, I have class, so I'll go on ahead. You can find your own way back, I'm sure," Makoto said.

Rin glanced over sharply. "Makoto—"

But the guy was already walking off, waving and smiling sweetly.

 _Tch_. Rin exhaled as he was abandoned.

…Footsteps approached him and stopped at a polite distance. "Rin. Wanna get a coffee or something?"

Rin looked up, meeting his best friend's drawn and sleep-deprived face. _You look like you need it more than I do._ "Yeah, sure."

They headed up to the fifth floor, to a café with windows that looked out onto the observation deck, and got a booth. Sousuke got black coffee; Rin succumbed to the need for caffeine with iced green tea. He sipped from his glass, wiping the condensation from his fingertips on a napkin.

"Rin, I'm sorry about the other night."

The words came out rough and quiet, rather than effortlessly, so Rin knew he meant it.

"I was worked up, but that's no excuse. I shouldn't have…"

Rin folded his arms on top of the table. "You backed off when I told you to. There's not much you need to apologize for."

But Sousuke shook his head. "No, there's years' worth." He leaned forward, his hands wrapped around his coffee mug. "Because you were right. Part of me's been blaming you this whole time. Ignoring my share in this." He sighed. "And you know I don't handle losing very well. I've been a dick to you lately, because of him."

 _It's about time you admitted it_. But Rin was more hurt than angry.

Sousuke dropped his gaze to his mug. "I try to justify it…that I'm looking out for you and your dream…" He trailed off, his brow furrowed. "But when it comes down to it, it's mostly jealousy and…like you said, pushing my dream onto you."

Rin pressed his lips, looking at the surface of the table between them. "I've been doing it too, right? I mean, the kind of relationships you want to have with people…it's none of my business what that looks like."

"It's not." Sousuke straightened up, sitting back. "But I've been thinking about it—what you said. At some point, I need to stop moping around and being childish about the whole thing. I need to start looking at what's ahead. Like you are."

"Sousuke…" Rin lifted his gaze.

There was a faint smile on Sousuke's face and it was genuine, his eyes soft and unguarded. "I decided to go into medicine because I wanted to help people—athletes like me—who get injured. The last few days I've been thinking, talking to a few people in my department… I'm gonna try for an internship with the Institute of Sports Sciences—they're at the forefront of all the research. And I'll study to be a surgeon—I decided."

Rin inhaled, his eyes starting to burn. _Sousuke_ …

"It's not a bad dream, right?" Sousuke's smile warmed. "At least for now."

Rin sniffed hard, crumpling his napkin in one hand as he fought the tears.

Sousuke drew a breath, his face sobering. "Rin, I'm sorry about what I said, about you needing to sort it out. I was hurt and lashing out…" He paused, leaning forward slightly. "But I do want to say one thing. Feeling like that, being in love… It's not something you choose or control. If it was, I would've decided to get over you a long time ago." Sousuke's shoulders relaxed. "But you get to choose everything else. Just because your dad decided on one way doesn't mean you have to, too."

Rin steeled himself, his fingernails digging into his palms. "Sousuke—"

Sousuke lifted a hand. "That's all I'll say about it, Rin." He smiled again, fondly. "Thanks for finally kicking my ass the other night. I needed it."

Another flood of emotion rose inside Rin, hot in his throat. "Now you're just _trying_ to make me fucking cry!"

"I'll admit it's a little satisfying," Sousuke said, and lifted his coffee for a sip.

…They rode the train back to north Tokyo together, Rin waving as Sousuke got off one station before him. He headed back to his apartment, the breeze rustling the panels of his sweatshirt and running through his hair. He slipped off his shoes in the doorway, next to his suitcase that was almost all packed.

Rin crossed the room and flopped down on the bed, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. _You were finally honest with me._ He was happy for Sousuke and glad their friendship wasn't going down in flames on the eve of his departure…but he didn't let himself think about his dad. _Unless you've lost someone like that, you don't really get it._ He sighed, rolling onto his side.

His phone buzzed.

Rin fished the device from his pocket.

_[I caught a cold.]_

_What?_ Rin grabbed his tablet from the nightstand, logging on and seeing that Haru was online. He called…and the screen lit, the feed shifting around a bit as Haru settled the camera beside him on the bed. Then his arm retreated under the covers—the blankets were pulled up to Haru's neck and a towel was draped over his head so that just his face was visible. Haru's nose was red and he looked a little miserable.

" _Rin."_ By his voice, he was obviously congested.

"Haru, what did you do?"

Haru frowned. _"Why do you assume it's my fault I got sick?"_

Rin pursed his lips, leaning on an elbow as he looked at the screen. "Because you're surrounded by water and it's less than 10 C outside."

" _Nn."_ Haru glanced away, his expression sheepish. _"Ozawa-senpai called it a 'polar bear swim.'"_

Rin rolled his eyes. "Haru, you idiot."

A defiant look hardened blue eyes. _"People here do it all the time. And it's summer."_

"People there are acclimated to the temperature. You're not, dummy."

Haru sneezed and dropped his head back onto the pillow.

"Sorry you're not feeling well."

" _I just have to stay in bed for a while,"_ he said, the blankets rustling as he shifted beneath the covers.

Rin nodded, falling quiet. He grabbed his pillow, tucking his arm beneath it as he laid down, as face-to-face as they could get with screens and 8600 kilometers between them.

" _Rin, are you OK?"_

"Huh?"

Haru was studying his face. _"Were you…crying?"_

 _You can tell, huh?_ Rin rubbed his face. _Yeah, it's probably still a little red._ "Long story…" And he wasn't ready to talk about it. "I'll tell you later, OK?"

Haru nodded, seeming satisfied with his answer.

Rin felt a brush of guilt. _It's like Makoto said, you trust me._ "Haru. We never talked about this, but… We're not an open thing, right?" He paused. "I don't want to be."

Haru lifted his brows. _"Should I be wondering why you're asking?"_

"No. There's nothing to wonder about." He brushed hair back from his face. "But I wanted to be official, that's all. So I figure we should decide."

Haru's gaze warmed. _"I've never considered this an open thing, Rin."_

"Good." Rin relaxed. "Because I'm not fucking sharing."

Haru wore a smile at first, but it faded by the time he spoke again. _"If you change your mind, tell me."_

Rin blinked. "What?"

Haru's voice quieted. _"I'd rather have some of you than none of you."_

"Haru…"

Haru exhaled, meeting his gaze. _"That's just how I feel. I want you to be free to decide, Rin."_

Rin pressed his lips, silent for a long moment. "…And you don't get jealous."

Haru's eyes darkened a shade. _"I'd be jealous. I think it would hurt a lot. …But I want you to be happy."_

"Then stop saying shit like that!" Rin balled his hand into a fist beneath the pillow. "Like I could be happy if I was hurting you."

Haru's eyes widened. _"Rin…"_

" _Tch_ , Haru…" He shook the tablet since he couldn't reach through the screen and shake Haru.

There was a groan and Haru closed his eyes. _"Don't. I'm already dizzy."_

"Oh, sorry." He righted the thing, feeling guilty. "You should probably be sleeping."

" _I was gonna try. Should I let you go?"_

"Nah. I'll stay with you awhile."

Haru smiled faintly. _"OK."_ He stretched his hand out, laying it on his pillow near the screen as he settled in.

 _Haru_. Rin reached out as if he could cover those fingers with his own.

 _It's not something you control or choose_ , Sousuke said.

He inhaled slowly, resting his hand on the edge of his pillow. _Yeah, maybe not._

* * *

Sunday, June 5th, 2016

* * *

"Mr. Matsuoka, your passport, please."

Rin hung his sunglasses from the neck of his T-shirt, pulling his passport from his pocket and handing it to the check-in agent behind the British Airways counter. He pulled his baseball cap off as well, as the man glanced from the picture in the passport to his face. "Thank you. Luggage up here, please."

It finally felt real when he left the check-in line clutching his boarding documents and shouldering his backpack.

Sousuke was waiting for him near the entrance to security, a smile on his face as he stood with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. He wore a blue polo shirt and carried a light jacket and an umbrella. "All set?"

"Yeah," Rin said, grinning. _Finally_ the day had arrived. He slipped his hat back on. "Thanks for taking care of things here."

Sousuke shrugged. "Sure. Text me when you get in."

"I will."

"Do I get a hug, Rin?"

" _Tch_. Softie." Rin stepped in, hugging his best friend briefly.

Sousuke squeezed him tightly. "Clean up out there, Rin. Don't come home without a medal."

"Sheesh." He rolled his eyes as he pulled away. "No pressure or anything."

A confident smile was on Sousuke's face, reflected in his gaze. "You got this."

"Yeah." They bumped fists. "Later." Rin waved, getting in line.

He went through security and passport control, joining the crowds of travelers on the other side as he made his way to the gate. Despite the lengthy hours of travel ahead of him, he felt buoyant and free. _I'm finally on my way._ Not that he wasn't going to feel every one of the 48 days left before he was in São Paulo with Haru, but it would get easier now. He'd be busy with his own competitions, have his own adventures to share…he wouldn't be stuck at his apartment anymore while the world turned without him. It felt good—damn good.

_Though why I have to share this moment with you of all people…_

He spotted the guy immediately when he got to the gate—Sugiyama. Rin's butterfly rival was seated in the waiting area, earbuds in and a tablet in his hands, wearing a _nice_ jacket, designer T-shirt and jeans that made Sousuke's wardrobe look like clearance rack leftovers.

"Matsuoka-kun." Otani Ayaka was sitting next to him, looking up at Rin with doe-eyes and obvious relief, her light-brown hair gathered into a bun behind her head. She wore jeans, sneakers, and a Kyushu University sweatshirt. In her lap, she clutched a small backpack with several colorful bobbles hanging from the main zipper.

"Otani-san."

There was a staff member next to her in business casual attire—one of their many sponsor reps—who was traveling with them, currently engrossed in her Blackberry.

Rin drew a breath, turning to greet his elder. "Sugiyama-senpai."

The guy glanced at him and nodded, and that was all. The three had taken a flight in from Fukuoka this morning.

Rin sighed and moved off towards the windows, remembering how Haru had Skyped him from the airport when he left. It was too early in the morning in Norway to be calling, but he could at least get a picture. Their airplane was a shiny Boeing 787-9 with blue engine cowls and ribbons of red, white, and blue streaming across the tail.

"Matsuoka-kun…"

He paused at the obvious nerves in Otani's voice. She was young—Gou's age—and a jittery traveler if he had to guess by the way she was white-knuckling her backpack. Her traveling companions apparently hadn't done a lick to set her at ease.

Rin jabbed his thumb towards the window. "I'm gonna take a selfie with the airplane. Wanna come?"

Her eyes widened. "Yes." She grabbed her phone and hopped up.

-x-

Eighteen-plus hours later, Rin was dragging himself off his second flight, sleep-deprived and cranky. It was late evening local time, the sun just setting, meaning it was early morning back in Tokyo. And he wasn't even done traveling. After immigration and customs, they stuffed their suitcases and selves into a van, curbside. As they left the airport and joined the highway, Rin looked out across a luminous city, sparkling with lights beneath twilit skies against the indigo shores of the Mediterranean Sea.

 _Barcelona._ _You'll get here on Tuesday night, just before my competition starts in Canet-en-Roussillon on Wednesday. Forty-eight hours from now…_ It couldn't suck worse and Rin felt it acutely, especially as exhausted as he was. _And then you leave before I do, next week._ When it became unbearable, thinking of Haru standing down on the beach he could _see_ out the window, Rin closed his eyes and leaned back against the headrest. He wouldn't sleep any better in a car than on the plane…

"What's the damage this time?" he asked Otani, who was sitting next to him in the back. "Six, seven hours?"

"Uh, no we're supposed to get in at midnight or so, I think." Paper rustled. "Yeah, just after 12am."

Rin's eyes flew open. Otani had her itinerary unfolded in her lap, reading it by the glow of her phone.

"Can I see that?"

"Sure." She passed it over, holding up her phone to illuminate the page.

Rin stared at the characters and numerals in black ink on white paper, his heart starting to pound…

_What the fuck do you mean we'll only be two hours apart?!_


	14. Frantic hope, fly and free

Tuesday, June 7th, 2016

* * *

" _Sumimasen_." Rin bowed from the waist. "I realize I'm asking for special treatment." A light breeze rustled his warmups, the morning heating quickly under clear blue skies and bright sunlight.

Coach Maekawa tapped her sunglasses against her thigh. "And obviously, if we had to accommodate such requests from everyone…"

" _Sumimasen_."

In the silence that followed, Rin straightened. They were standing in a grassy area not far from the main pool, next to a hedge of trees that separated the grounds of the _Centre De Natation Arlette Franco_ from the road. Between them and the Olympic pool were temporary pavilions—shaded seating areas and rest areas that had been set up for tomorrow's events.

Maekawa's face was smooth, her expression giving him nothing to go off of. The wind toyed with her ponytail and rippled across her Team Japan warmups. "I'll discuss it with Coach Fujino when he gets in." She paused, her lips pursed. "But don't get your hopes up, Matsuoka."

 _Too late_. "Hai. Thank you." He bowed again. _I had to ask._ He was desperate for even one day.

"Alright, break's over." She slipped her sunglasses on, heading back towards the pool. "Let's get to it."

Rin followed her past the tents and other temporary structures to the open-air pool deck. The eight-lane, 50m pool was drenched in sunlight, crowded with athletes and trainers from many of the 96 nations and clubs participating in the next two days of events. At the start end of the pool, a two-story water-blue banner draped the wall behind the blocks, reading _MEETING INTERNATIONAL OF NATATION_ , with a picture of a swimmer in the midst of backstroke, and the waves-and-sun logo of Canet-en-Roussillon in blue and gold. The permanent stands were on the left-hand side—several rows of uncovered seating, while the temporary stands were on the right—three large pavilions providing shade from the heat of the day. A building above the permanent stands on the left was draped with the flags of the participating nations, hanging from the edge of the roof.

Maekawa stopped beside the block for lane eight. "Usual warm ups, then we're working stroke in one hundreds. Ten building, ten descending, each with a five hundred, just to keep it interesting."

Rin wasn't about to complain, though it seemed Maekawa was intent on having him make up for all six training days he'd missed while she was in Monaco—regardless of the work he'd done on his own. He stripped off his warmups, stretched his swim cap onto his head, and donned his goggles as he climbed up onto the block—

-x-

He got a rest period after lunch, sitting in the grass in the shade while Maekawa worked with Otani on breaststroke. It was hot now—in the high 20's C if he had to guess—and he forwent his T-shirt and warmup pants, lounging in his leg skins and unzipped warmup jacket and clutching a water bottle. Haru was traveling today, from Bergen to Barcelona. From 8600 kilometers…to 207. Rin spent half the day yesterday studying maps and train schedules. He was jetlagged, exhausted, and wound tight, the possibility of seeing Haru for even a few hours sending his mind spinning out of control. He could leave and come back the same day if that was all they allowed. Friday, he was supposed to have a day off after the competition finished. Monday, he moved to a training camp in a different part of France…Tuesday, Haru departed for Flagstaff. Somehow, he had to make Friday work, even though Haru would be busy preparing for the competition in Barcelona on Saturday and Sunday. _If I can just see you…hug you…hold you for even a few minutes, it would be better than not trying at all._ Racing tomorrow was the last thing on Rin's mind.

His phone trilled in his pocket and Rin grabbed for it. _Haru_. He inhaled, swiping his thumb across the screen immediately to accept the call.

" _Rin."_ Haru was at the airport in Bergen with the windows behind him. His face classically stoic, he wore a blue hoodie and Rin's gray Bondi Beach T-shirt. Haru's eyes softened on the screen. _"You still look terrible."_

Rin glared back. "I haven't really slept in three days." More accurately, it was closer to two weeks. _Since you left_. He thrust one hand through his hair in a vain attempt to smooth the errant strands into something presentable. "When's your flight leave?"

" _Less than an hour. We're boarding pretty soon."_ Haru paused, his gaze flicking over Rin's face. _"You're on break?"_

"Just for a few more minutes."

Haru nodded, then fell quiet for a moment. _"…Do you know any of the swimmers there? I heard some Australians are competing."_

Rin shook his head. "I've just heard the names. No one I know."

" _Oh."_ Haru said.

Several seconds ticked by in silence between them. Rin couldn't think of a single thing to say, because his head was screaming about 207 kilometers, two hours, and _I want to see you so fucking bad I can't stand it._

Cobalt eyes sharpened. _"Rin, you've been weird since yesterday."_

Rin tensed. "I'm jetlagged."

Haru's lips pursed faintly. _"Is that what it is…"_

"And I miss you—you know that. It's driving me crazy, not being with you." _That was all true._

Haru sighed. _"OK."_

"Haru?"

Haru's face clouded. _"If you say that's all it is…"_

The guilt hit him hard. _But I can't tell you. If we both get our hopes crushed, it's worse than just one of us._

" _You're competing tomorrow, Rin. It's my turn to worry about you."_ Concern was plain in Haru's eyes.

"Haru, you don't need to—"

" _This isn't like the time you overdid it at training camp. You're…jittery and nervous. Like you're distracted."_ Haru frowned. " _You're usually high strung, but not like this_."

 _Wow, you've got me fucking pegged._ Rin drew a breath. _Haru, I'm sorry_. "…Can I tell you later?"

Haru's face shuttered immediately, slamming closed like a door between them. _"Yeah,"_ he said, his voice flat. _"That's fine."_

"Haru…"

Haru glanced away from the screen. _"Look, I gotta go."_

Rin sucked air. " _Haru_ …"

" _I'll text you when I get to Barcelona."_

The screen went dark, the call ending before Rin could even wish him a safe trip…

 _Fuck!_ Rin slammed his palm against the grass, his face heating and his eyes starting to sting. _I'm trying to spare you having to feel this too. Why do you have to know me so damn well?_ He rubbed a hand over his face and dropped back to lie in the grass, staring up at leaves rustling in the breeze and the clear sky. _…Even though that's what I want—someone who knows me and sees me, including those parts of me I don't like. I'm such a fucking mess…_

Rin rolled onto his side, grabbing his phone and texting… _[Haru, I'm sorry. Safe flights.]_ It was superstitious of him, but he couldn't not say it. Not after the way his dad died.

He waited, clutching the device, hoping and praying that Haru would at least say something, _even though I hurt you and that piss-poor attempt at an apology doesn't really count for anything._

After another minute, the phone buzzed in his hands. _[Thanks.]_

Rin exhaled, relieved.

_[Get some sleep, Rin.]_

_Haru…_ Rin sniffed hard, throwing an arm across his eyes as he slumped back into the grass.

-x-

After dinner, Rin took the shuttle back to the apartment complex where they were staying. The twelve, three-story buildings were situated just off the highway, surrounded by grass and small trees. A few clouds had rolled in, taking the edge off the direct sunlight. Rin headed in from the parking lot, crossing the courtyard and passing two leisure pools where athletes and residents were escaping the heat. The buildings were red stucco with black iron railings and external stairways, each unit with its own balcony. Rin climbed the stairs on the north side of the complex, sticking to the side to avoid a group of women in navy-blue warmups coming down the stairs. At the top, he turned left down the hall to his unit, unlocking the door and going inside.

Sugiyama hadn't gotten back yet, so he was alone for the moment. The studio apartment had a small kitchen just off the entryway, a balcony looking over the courtyard with a circular table, one bedroom with bunk beds, and one bathroom. Rin set his gear bag on the foot of the top bunk and changed into his running gear. He hung his leg skins over the balcony rail to dry and made sure he had his phone on him before he headed downstairs again. Haru's plane was scheduled to land soon.

Down in the courtyard, Rin tied his hair back and started off at a decent clip, joining the main street leading to the shore. The _Avenue de la M_ _é_ _diterran_ _é_ _e_ was lined with palm trees and broad lanes of grass, houses giving way to apartment buildings, restaurants, and businesses the closer he got to the beach. It was just over one kilometer. The road widened, a plaza running down the median as the buildings obscuring the horizon parted… One block more and the Mediterranean Sea spread out in front of him—turquoise blue and endless.

Rin slowed to a walk, catching his breath as he made his way past outdoor cafés, kiosks selling trinkets, and a carousel, to get to the sand.

The beach was crowded with sunbathers and swimmers—families, couples, groups… Rin could've stayed back, hanging out with Coach Maekawa and Otani, but he wanted to come here alone. When he was anxious in Sydney, the ocean always calmed him down. Rin's sneakers sank into the sand as he walked down towards the water, the breeze tossing a few lengths of hair that escaped his ponytail. As he inhaled the salty, sea air, he felt his muscles start to unwind—just a little. It wasn't easy—letting go of the desperation inside meant feeling the pain and longing that pressed down on his shoulders, that encircled his heart and squeezed. _Haru_. Rin looked south down the beach, the waves crashing against the sand, to where hills could just be seen on the horizon, stretching out into the sea. _I can see Spain from here._

For a while, he jogged along the beach, a little ways back from the water's edge, trying to clear his head with the sound of the waves and the brush of the wind. But he tired quickly—faster than he usually would. As the evening wore on, Rin found a quieter spot just to the south and sat cross-legged in the sand, watching the waves lap at the shore beneath a sky that slowly darkened.

When his phone buzzed, he pulled it out immediately…and the air stuck in his throat at the picture that awaited him, a fresh ache running through his chest.

The photo was a beach under soft blue skies, turquoise water receding from the sand. If not for the caption that said _[Barcelona,]_ the picture could've been taken from the same spot where Rin sat.

 _Haru_. Rin's eyes welled with liquid as he lifted his phone, snapping his own picture and sending it. _[Canet-en-Roussillon.]_

He stared out to sea, trying _not_ to imagine Haru sitting next to him, looking out at the same water, the same breeze rustling their hair and clothes…that made it so much worse.

_[The water looks the same where you are.]_

Rin wiped his arm across his eyes before texting back, but his vision was still blurred so badly he could hardly see the characters. _[Yeah.]_

* * *

Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

* * *

Rin didn't wake up until his second alarm went off. He reached over and silenced it, feeling like he hadn't slept at all. The room was quiet, meaning Sugiyama was already up—like every day this week so far. Rin climbed down from the top bunk, the tile floor cold beneath his bare feet. _I'm competing today…_ The thrill he should've felt was absent. Usually, he'd be fired up at the prospect of getting to swim alongside some of the top athletes in the world, eager to prove himself. But, instead, he was dragging with fatigue and the agitation that had been his constant companion since Sunday night still had him on-edge.

He went to the bathroom and changed, pulling on his Team Japan leg skins and his warmups, doing it all by rote. Out in the main room, Sugiyama was seated at the kitchen table—dressed and ready to go—sipping from a cup of juice while scrolling through something on a tablet. The guy didn't look up when he entered. Rin had given up on greetings that went unacknowledged. _It's like a contest of how long two people can occupy the same tiny space without saying a word to each other_. In the kitchen, he took out bread, juice, and other items for breakfast.

Rin carried his meal to the table, hoping the food would revive him—he had three races this morning and the competition would not make it easy. While he ate, he checked the messages on his phone.

Haru had sent a text earlier. _[I hope you're feeling better today, Rin.]_

A lump formed in his throat as the guilt rushed in. Rin set his piece of toast aside, pushing one hand through his hair in an attempt to keep it together. But the hurt look on Haru's face was burned into his memory. He felt like shit. Clinging to one thread of hope was all he could do— _Coach Fujino is here now._ Maybe he'd hear, even this morning, about his request for Friday. Then he could tell Haru and explain why he hadn't said anything. …At least, if the news was good. If not… _I can't think about 'not.' I don't know how I'd survive a 'no.'_

Rin choked down the rest of his breakfast. He was washing his dishes when Sugiyama got up, shouldered his gear bag, and headed out the door without a word. Rin piled his dishes on the rack to dry, grabbed his stuff, and ran out the door…

When he stepped off the shuttle into bright sunshine outside the _Centre De Natation Arlette Franco_ , Coach Fujino and Assistant Coach Maekawa were waiting to greet them.

"Good morning, Olympians," Coach Fujino said, smiling. He was wearing red Team Japan shorts with his warmup jacket. "I've heard good things from Coach Maekawa. I trust you're all excited to get in the water today?"

"Hai!" Otani's voice came out a little too loud, her hand gripping the strap of her gear bag with white knuckles.

Sugiyama merely nodded.

 _Excited…not really the word I'd pick._ "Hai," Rin said, his hands deep in his pockets where no one could see how tightly coiled his fingers were.

"You have a particularly demanding morning, Matsuoka-kun," Fujino said. "Three races."

"Hai." Rin dipped his head, mustering an enthusiasm he didn't feel and injecting it into his voice. "I'm looking forward to it." He could do a fair job of faking it; he'd always been good at that.

Fujino's eyes warmed. "Excellent. I'll let all of you get to it. Take advantage of the next two days, Olympians. You're up against some of the best, including many faces you'll see again in Rio."

"Hai," the three of them said.

…And that was the end of the conversation. Rin followed his teammates with slower steps, hoping that Coach Fujino would call him aside—

But he didn't. Rin's heart broke. He headed inside, gritting his teeth and blinking back the crushing disappointment that welled up inside him.

-x-

He tried to shake it off during warm ups, staying as long as he could in the indoor 25m pool as the first events got underway. _I have to be able to do this. All business—I've knocked out races like this before._

His first event of the day was the 50m free, a quarter after 9am. With his seed time of 21.86, he'd placed into heat five of seven, in lane four. Rin pressed his goggles into place and took the block, the sun glaring off the water in front of him. He set his feet at the start, surrounded by swimmers from France, Germany, Ukraine, Hungary, Brazil, Belgium, and South Africa. With nearly two hours before his next event, he didn't have to hold back.

" _Take your marks_."

Rin tensed for the start… At the buzzer, he leapt forward, diving into the water. He took one breath like he practiced, ignoring the other swimmers as he stretched out for the wall—

Rin popped up after touching, out of breath and muscles screaming. He glanced at the board— _That can't be right._ Rin tugged his goggles down to his throat, looking again, but the readout had already switched to the sixth heat. He swam to the side and climbed out. _There's no way my all-out fifty was 22.82. I couldn't have lost a whole second…_

Rin cleared the pool deck, drying off and donning his warmups. The last two heats finished and the overall ranking scrolled across the board. His time was right there—22.82. Sixth place. Rin went cold.

He headed up into the covered stands, joining his teammates and coaches.

"Nice work, Matsuoka-kun!" Otani was smiling at him. "You made the A-final."

"Not bad," Maekawa said.

 _Not bad if I wasn't fucking trying…_ Rin sat down. "…Thanks," he murmured, trying to keep it together. _Fine. That was a little off, but the next one won't be like that._

-x-

An hour later, Otani took second place overall in the heats for the women's 100m breaststroke. Rin headed back to the 25m pool, keeping limber with a few laps. His next race was the 100m fly. Sugiyama was swimming it too, but they'd seeded into different heats given their times from the Japan Open. Rin's 50.59 put him in the 3rd heat, in lane four, while Sugiyama had top seed in the 5th heat.

Rin took a deep breath before climbing onto the block for the race, settling himself. _Yeah._ Whatever had happened earlier had been a fluke. _This is my race. No way I'm fucking it up._

" _Take your marks."_

Rin launched at the signal, feeling solid as he entered the water and started his strokes. He jumped ahead to an early lead and kept it throughout the first fifty, through the open turn, and all the way back to the wall. Rin slammed his hands to the finish. Surfacing, he turned and rested on the lane line as he looked to the board. _53.18_. The life drained out of him. _What the fuck? That's_ not _my time._

The next heat was starting, Rin staying out of the way on the lane line while a swimmer from South Africa dove over him for the start of the 4th heat. He cleared the pool right after.

As he returned to the ready area—a pavilion just off the start side of the pool—he passed Sugiyama. The guy was all suited up—swim cap and goggles in place, ear buds in, swinging his arms and waiting to strip down to his jammers. He surveyed Rin with a mild flick of his eyes, not saying anything…but Rin got the message loud and clear.

_So. This is all you're good for when he's not here._

Rin crushed his goggles in his fist, fighting like hell to keep it together and not react as he continued on. _That's not it. That's not fucking it!_

…But after a 1:49 in the 200m free a half-hour later, he was staring to doubt himself.

-x-

A-finals Wednesday evening weren't scheduled to start until 6pm, with warm ups directly prior, following the B-finals that started at 4pm. As soon as the morning's events were over, Rin took the shuttle back to the apartment complex, thinking he'd try to get some sleep…but one look at the bunkbeds in the darkened bedroom and he knew it wasn't going to happen. At least Sugiyama wasn't around. Rin walked out onto the balcony of the apartment instead, skirting the small table and chairs, and leaning against the rail in a shady spot. It was hot—almost too hot for his T-shirt and warmup pants. He stared off into the distance, wishing he could see the sea from here, but there were too many other buildings in the way. A dozen text messages waited on his phone from people who knew him or knew his swimming well enough to guess something was wrong. He hadn't read them. He couldn't. _I don't want any of your fucking sympathy, or your 'help.'_

Rin propped his elbows on the rail and sighed. _Come on, Rin. Pull it the fuck together. You're better than this._ Down below, kids were playing in the two recreational pools, under the watchful eye of sunbathing adults. He could hear their happy squeals from here.

When the phone trilled in his pocket, Rin knew who it was. _Of course it's you._ He pulled one of the chairs into the shade and sat down as he took out his phone, gathering himself with a breath before he swiped his thumb across the screen.

" _Rin._ " Haru was sitting on a bed in a hotel room in a gray Team Japan T-shirt.

 _Haru._ Rin fought an influx of heat in his eyes, just at the mere sight— "Hey." He tried to keep it together. _I hate you seeing me like this._

But Haru's gaze undid him in an instant, without a word, just a slight tilt of the head that had black hair shifting across Haru's brow.

"I'm…having an off morning," he said, barely getting the words out.

" _I can see that,"_ Haru said. There was a guardedness about him; a distance that felt way farther than 207 kilometers.

 _Like yesterday. It's my fault._ The guilt weighed on his shoulders. Rin tried to push through it, clearing his throat. "Shouldn't you be at practice?"

" _Coach Akagi said I could be late."_

"Oh."

Haru's eyes were the cool side of tepid. _"You're still not gonna tell me what's upsetting you?"_

The muscles on either side of his spine tightened. "Haru."

" _I'm not gonna force you to."_ Haru's lips thinned into a line. _"But I think you know how hard it was for me to talk to you when I didn't feel well in Norway. I didn't want to, but I did because I made you a promise."_

The words cut deep, the air rushing from Rin's lungs.

On the screen, Haru drew a breath, his eyes softening a little. _"I'm not saying that as an ultimatum. If you aren't ready to talk about it, it's OK. But I want you to see the difference. In case you haven't realized."_

 _Haru._ Rin's vision blurred with tears. A few cascaded down his cheeks before he could stop them. The phone trembled in his hand.

Haru's eyes went wide. _"Rin."_ His voice sharpened with alarm. _"I didn't mean to—"_

 _Fuck it. I can't…_ Rin scrubbed his face with the back of his hand. _I can't take it anymore._ "Is your laptop handy?"

Haru frowned. _"Yeah…"_

Rin sniffed hard, looking away in a desperate attempt to get his emotions under control. "Pull up Barcelona on a map."

There was shuffling on the other end of the line. Haru set the phone down, the camera picking up his face from below, slightly off-center. _"OK…"_ The glow from the laptop screen reflected on his face.

"Get directions from Canet-en-Roussillon to there. R-O-U-S-S—"

" _I can spell it, Rin,"_ Haru said, clicking…and he froze with parted lips, not even blinking.

"…That's why," Rin said quietly. "I realized it Sunday night after I got in."

Haru didn't reply. His mouth closed and his face shuttered.

Rin inhaled. "Haru?" _This is why I didn't want to…_

" _I didn't check. I didn't even think to check."_

Rin let out the breath he'd been holding. "I didn't know it in advance, either."

Haru's brow knit. _"But not even since I got here. I just assumed…"_

"You're generally accepting of things, Haru. That's not a bad trait to have. It's why you don't get stressed out." _I get jealous that you can 'go with the flow' so easily._

The picture shifted as Haru picked up the phone again, pain shining in his eyes. _"But I would've been here a whole week and never knew you were only two hours away."_

"I asked already," Rin said. "About coming to Barcelona on Friday for my day off." His heart fell inside him. "I haven't heard anything yet."

Haru's eyes flared wide, his voice coming out in a hushed, reverent whisper. _"Friday…"_

"Haru, it might not work out. I didn't want to tell you… I didn't want you to be disappointed if they say no." _I can be disappointed enough for the both of us._

A defiant look settled on Haru's face. _"Well if they say no, I'll just come see you."_

Rin sighed. "Haru, you're competing on Saturday."

Haru drew a breath and Rin could almost see the rapid thoughts racing behind his eyes— _"Sunday night, then."_

"I leave first thing Monday morning." _Believe me, I've run all the scenarios already._ "It only makes sense if I come to see you."

" _Nn_."

 _Yeah_. Rin pursed his lips. _Sucks, doesn't it?_

Haru's eyes softened. _"This is why you were so distracted."_

"…Yeah."

" _Why you tanked this morning."_

"Hey!" Rin scowled, but _fuck_ , it was only true.

" _Rin, it's too much by yourself,"_ Haru said. _"I get that you're trying to protect me. But that's not what I want. If you're happy, I want to know. If you're upset, I want to know. Especially if it's about us."_ His brows lifted. _"Isn't that what you want, too?"_

Rin's eyes widened. _Shit._ _I let Sousuke have it for the same thing._ His throat closed with heat. _Why didn't I realize?_

… _Maybe that's what happens when you care about people. You get stupid about some things…_

Rin thrust a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I do want that." _I really want that._

Haru's eyes warmed, smiling at him in a way that settled his heart, even though he still felt like a total jerk about the whole thing.

Rin nudged the bars of the railing with his shoe. "…You forgive me for being a dick about this?"

" _Yeah."_ Haru's voice grew quiet. _"Nn, I was kind of mean about it."_

Rin shook his head, feeling so much lighter. "Haru, you've kicked my ass twice now and both times I needed it. You don't have to apologize."

He nodded.

Rin held Haru's gaze for a moment longer as his muscles uncoiled. He exhaled. _"Tch._ I guess you get to be the mature one today." He rocked back in his chair.

" _I'm seven months older than you, Rin_ ," Haru said, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"Nn."

Haru glanced to the side, his cheeks turning pink. " _I haven't been in a relationship before. I'm learning as I go, too._ "

Rin's face went hot. _You used that word._ He mulled it over in his head and his breath caught, a sweet, giddy feeling blossoming in his chest. Rin bit his lower lip, his skin burning.

"… _Rin?_ "

He righted his chair and set his feet flat on the floor of the balcony. "You said, 'relationship.'"

Haru flushed red and drew a breath, his gaze wary. " _It's OK? You said, last week, you wanted things to be official…_ "

"Yeah," he whispered and it was all he could get out without grinning like a fool. "I like it. A lot."

Haru's blue eyes widened at first, then softened with pleasure, a happy warmth in his gaze that Rin soaked in… He felt it resonating inside him, like something he couldn't control…and _damn this stupid phone and two fucking hours!_

Rin grunted, rubbing a hand over his face. "Haru, I will _hitchhike_ if I have to…"

" _Rin_." The name left Haru's lips like a tight squeeze of arms around his torso. " _Feeling better?_ "

"If by 'better,' you mean how I want to chuck this thing into the pool and get my ass on the next train…" He lowered his hand and Haru was smiling at him, blue eyes charged and eager.

" _Show me. In the finals tonight._ "

Rin let out a long, slow breath. "OK, Haru." He managed a smile. "You asked for it."

-x-

Rin was back at the swimming center, early, relaxing in the jacuzzi while the B-finals started. Even though the place was crowded, it did help—reclining in the hot water and letting the heat seep into his muscles…especially when he thought of sitting in the bath with Haru. Friday _had_ to happen and the anxiety in his stomach wasn't gone, but he'd made his request and there wasn't anything else to do but wait. _Wait and show all of you that I'm not hopeless without him here._

He went from there to the warmup pool, limbering up until his first race—the 50m free A-final, just after 6pm.

"Ah, Matsuoka-kun!" Otani was there when he climbed out, in her black and teal Team Japan knee skins. She had her hair tamed under her black swim cap and with both hands, she clutched her goggles against her chest. "G-good luck with your race," she said, looking at him with large doe-eyes. It was obvious she was nervous.

 _You remind me of Ai sometimes_. He smiled at her. "Thanks, Otani-san. You too."

"T-thank you!"

He toweled off as she donned her goggles and jumped into the pool, starting her warm ups. Rin got dressed, heading to the ready room for check in. He had several text messages from his friends and family who were watching and he still couldn't bear looking at them all.

 _[Rin-senpai, I'm sure you'll do much better with the finals tonight. Don't worry!]_ Nitori was trying to help and Rin could appreciate the effort, _but it would be better if you kept your 'encouragement' to yourself, Ai._

 _[Don't suck as bad as you did this morning,]_ Sousuke wrote.

Haru sent a photo. It was a selfie of him in his jammers, sitting on the side of a roof-top pool in Barcelona, presumably at his hotel. His legs dangled in the water; the pool's surface reflecting puffy clouds here and there in contrast to Canet's clear skies. _[I'm watching from here.]_

Rin smiled, tapping out a quick reply. _[Don't drop your phone in the pool, idiot.]_

_[I won't.]_

-x-

Just after 6pm, Rin got in line with his competitors for the 50m free. They walked the length of the pool in the blistering heat of direct sunlight to cheering from the stands, setting up on the turn-side. At the end, they made a left to get to the blocks, Rin nearly all the way across the pool—in lane seven out of eight, given his 6th place seed. He shoved his feelings about the lane number aside, centering himself with a breath as he adjusted his start block and stripped off his warmups. Rin pressed his goggles into place, feeling a calm that he couldn't really explain, except that he knew Haru was watching him. _Sharing the up's and the down's—I guess that's the point, right? Of being in a relationship._ He kept running the word over and over in his mind, liking it better each time. _Because it means we're serious about this. We're not screwing around like some people think._ It settled his heart deeply, relaxing every taut muscle in his body. _And our relationship doesn't depend on times and medals and all of that stuff._ It was so… _freeing_.

At the whistle, he climbed up onto the block, setting his feet…

" _Take your marks."_

He imagined Haru at the other end of the pool, waiting for him, like at Tatsumi. _I'm coming, Haru. We're gonna make Friday happen. Somehow…_

At the buzzer, he flew, entering the water and dolphin-kicking beneath the surface. He came up and went to stroke, fighting through the waves from the lanes on his left, taking his one breath, and propelling himself into the wall—

Rin hit and popped up, drawing in lungfuls of air as he lifted his eyes to the board—22.20, 2nd place. _Yes!_ He slammed a fist into the water. It wasn't his best time, but he could be proud of a silver medal after this morning.

The medal ceremony for the women's and men's 50m free was directly afterwards. Rin waved from the podium in his warmups with the silver medal around his neck.

As soon as he could, he escaped to the grassy area behind the stands, near the hedges that separated the property from the highway beyond. His phone trilled while he was pulling it out of his pocket; he answered the call with a swipe of his thumb.

The screen lit with Haru's face—Haru who was still poolside in Barcelona…Haru who was smiling at him, with a tender look in blue eyes that made Rin breathless.

" _Rin, you did it."_

Heat closed Rin's throat. He sniffed hard and blinked rapidly in an attempt to dispel the tears, but they fell anyway and his hand shook, clutching the phone. He gave up trying to fight the emotion, just listening to the soft sound of Haru's voice as his vision blurred with liquid.

" _You looked really good out there."_ Haru's words settled over him like an embrace from only 200 kilometers away. _"I knew you would."_

_Haru._

-x-

It was still blazing hot at 7:30pm when Rin got ready behind the blocks for the final of the men's 100m fly. The announcer called off their names in English. " _…In lane two, from Japan, Rin Matsuoka. In lane three, from South Africa…_ " Rin peeled off his warmups, stuffing them into the provided bin. " _…In lane four, from Japan, Noboru Sugiyama. In lane five, from Germany…_ "

"Matsuoka-kun! Sugiyama-senpai!" Otani was waving from the stands on the right, her silver medal from the women's 100m breaststroke gleaming against her red and white Team Japan T-shirt.

Rin turned towards the pool at the whistle, rolling his shoulders one last time. He checked his goggles as he climbed onto the block, his lane second from the right-hand side of the pool. The nerves and panic were absent and he paid no mind to his competitors—especially Sugiyama. _You don't have to win—just beat your time from this morning_ —that's what he told himself. It was an odd thought for him. Winning used to be all that mattered. He wanted to win, but more than that, he wanted to prove it to himself. _That I can do this._ Rin relaxed with a breath, bending down and grasping the start block.

—At the signal, he burst forward, surfacing into powerful strokes of butterfly and feeling unhindered…

He hit at 51.73, taking third place. The swimmer next to him from South Africa took silver and Sugiyama had the gold and a meet record at 51.21. The guy celebrated by sitting on the lane line and thrusting both fists into the air.

Rin rolled his eyes as he pulled off his goggles and swim cap. _Get the fuck off the line. Who does that?_ He swam to the side and climbed out.

In the ceremony that followed, he got his bronze medal, then turned right around for the men's 200m free. Rin eked out a silver at 1:47.34 in lane seven, six hundredths of a second behind the French swimmer who took gold in lane four. He stood on the podium for his second silver medal, which ended the day's events.

"Matsuoka-kun, congratulations!" Otani said, as he joined his coaches and teammates after the race.

Sugiyama wasn't present—probably off somewhere still reveling in his gold in the fly.

"Nice comeback." Maekawa smiled at him.

"Thanks," Rin said.

Coach Fujino laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "Let's get some dinner, Olympians, and turn in early. Big day again tomorrow."

 _Still no answer…_ Rin hid his disappointment as he slung the strap of his gear bag over his shoulder and followed.

-x-

" _He hasn't said yet?"_ Haru asked.

Rin shook his head, sighing. "Not yet." He was stretched out on his bunk with his tablet beside him, alone in the bedroom at the moment, in Haru's dolphin T-shirt and his sleep pants. "I keep wanting to ask, but…"

Haru was curled up on his bed in his Barcelona hotel room, in Rin's shark T-shirt, Skyping on his laptop. _"It's not like he forgot. Coach Fujino is good at remembering things. If he hasn't said, maybe it's not settled yet."_

Rin scowled, pushing his face into his pillow. "What's there to decide? I said I'd pay my way—there and back, meals and all."

" _Dunno."_ Haru shrugged on the screen. _"Maybe it's more complicated than that."_

"Nn."

The was the sound of a door opening and Haru's gaze shifted. _"Welcome back, Captain Ikehara."_

" _Nanase-kun."_ The guy stifled a yawn off-screen. _"Matsuoka-kun."_

"Captain," Rin said, his face heating. Haru didn't bat an eyelash at this, but Rin couldn't help feeling a bit self-conscious, with their captain walking in when they were basically cuddling through a laptop screen.

Ikehara was moving around in the background of the feed, behind Haru.

" _We'll watch from the lobby bar tomorrow,"_ Haru said.

Rin cocked a brow. "The bar? At 9am?"

Haru's gaze warmed with amusement. _"It's coffee in the morning, Rin. Mostly. There won't be lots of drinking until the finals."_

"Haru, you're not…" He pressed his lips. "It's not one of the new things you're trying, is it?"

Haru shook his head. _"But it's fun watching Ozawa-senpai. She reminds me of Takara."_

_I don't like the sound of that any better…_

The door of the bedroom opened then, admitting Sugiyama, who was dressed for bed in a tank top and shorts. The guy noticed what Rin was doing and rolled his eyes before ducking into the bottom bunk.

Rin lowered the volume. "I gotta go."

Irritation narrowed Haru's eyes briefly, but he nodded, reaching out and touching the screen. _"Goodnight, Rin. Sleep well."_

Rin's face burned. "Yeah. You too."

They ended the call and Rin shutdown his tablet, rolling onto his back. He blinked into the darkness of the room, listening to the sound of a mattress shifting as Sugiyama settled on the bunk beneath him. Rin sighed soundlessly and closed his eyes.

* * *

Thursday, June 9th, 2016

* * *

_[Show me something good today, Rin. Like you promised.]_

_[Yeah, Haru. Watch.]_

The exchange was running through Rin's head as he looked down lane four from the block for the 100m free final. He'd gotten top seed in the heats with 48.22, but that wasn't good enough. He was finally starting to feel like he was on his game—just in time for his last race of the meet. The 50m fly had gone well enough, though he'd just missed the podium, and he'd taken silver in the 200m fly. _But the 100m free is our race, since we were kids. It's not as good at the medley relay, but right now I'd give anything to be racing beside you._ After the Bergen Swim Festival, they were sharing the Japanese Record. Rin grinned as he bent and took hold of the block. _That ends in less than forty-eight seconds, Haru. I'll show you a sight worth seeing._

" _Take your marks._ "

Rin dove at the buzzer, slicing into the water and chasing Haru in his head, aiming for Haru— He didn't expend one thought for the competitors swimming to either side of him, entirely focused on his goal. Rin flipped into the turn at the far side of the pool and raced back the other direction. Not even the cheering mattered to him. _All_ that mattered was getting to Haru. He slammed his hands into the wall at the finish, breathing hard as he lifted his eyes towards the board.

_100 m Nage Libre Messieurs - Finale A_

_Resultats Officiels_

_1 MATSUOKA Rin 47.84_

Rin clung to the side of the pool as the emotions poured through him—elation and agony. He couldn't tell which one was winning. He swam to the side and climbed out, drying off as attention turned to the presentation of medals for the women's 100m free. Directly after, he took the podium to receive his gold medal along with a certificate for having set a new meet record. Rin was smiling for the camera, but it was all fake. There was too much turmoil inside of him. _I know that's what you wanted to see, Haru. But I can't stand it. Being this close and still apart…_

After the finals for the women's and men's 200m IM and medal ceremonies, awards were presented for the top 20 swimmers from the meet. Rin's time in the 100m free was worth 943 FINA points, giving him 3rd place overall. Haru had gotten 1st place back in Bergen for his 100m free, at 940 points. Rin clutched yet another certificate, fake-smiling for the camera.

He dropped the act when he got back to the locker room, rinsing off and packing up his stuff. He was done. Given how rough the heats had been Wednesday morning, he should've been proud of his comeback, his revenge. But the anguish was taking over. Friday was hours away and he still hadn't heard if he could go to Barcelona. At some point tonight he'd have to ask, even just to confirm that the answer was no—maybe that's why his coaches hadn't said anything. But then he didn't know what he'd do with himself. …How much trouble could he get in if he just fucking _went_? He wasn't sure…

When he was ready, Rin headed out in his warmups, going upstairs to join his coaches and teammates for dinner.

He sat with Otani, Sugiyama nowhere to be found and their coaches were off somewhere, too.

"Matsuoka-kun, have you decided what you're going to do for our day off tomorrow?" she asked.

Rin paused between bites, the food sticking in his throat. He washed it down with milk. "Nothing's firm yet," he said. "You?"

Otani was all smiles now with the competition behind them. Her damp hair was pulled back into a bun and her cheeks had a faint line from her goggles. "Oh, I think I might just go down to the beach. I want to find a souvenir for my boyfriend back home. I said I'd bring him something little from each country we visit. Just like a keychain or something."

She continued to chatter for a while and Rin listened, glad he didn't have to contribute much to the conversation. The later it got, the more the sour feeling in his stomach grew…

The coaches and Sugiyama appeared when they were almost finished eating.

"It's been quite a couple of days, Olympians. Congratulations," Coach Fujino said, smiling with his hands clasped behind his back. "I'm sure everyone is exhausted and planning to turn in early tonight."

Maekawa coughed behind her hand. "Not likely," she murmured and smiled.

"Well, hopefully nothing _too_ wild," Fujino said. "The shuttles are waiting."

"Hai!" Otani scampered from the table with her tray.

Sugiyama and Maekawa left.

Rin, swallowing hard, got up slowly.

"Matsuoka-kun."

His heart was pounding as he turned to face his coach.

Fujino was holding a folded piece of paper. "About your request."

Rin inhaled. "Yes?"

Fujino handed him the paper. "I'm afraid we were not able to accommodate changing things for Friday on such short notice—"

Rin's heart broke. He grasped the paper, his hand shaking even though he tried to stop it.

"—but I hope you'll find this an acceptable alternative."

Rin's eyes went wide. He quickly unfolded the page, scanning the characters in black ink.

_Departing Saturday morning, Canet-en-Roussillon to Barcelona. Departing Monday, Barcelona to training facility in…_

Rin forgot how to breathe. Saturday…to Monday… _No fucking way_. His throat tightened, his eyes filling with hot tears. _Haru, I'll get to see you for two whole days…_

Coach Fujino was smiling gently. "In light of these changes, your day off tomorrow is canceled. I'll be working with you myself. Expect to make up the training you'll be missing in advance."

"Hai." Rin dipped his head. _You could make me swim eight hours straight and I wouldn't complain._ He clutched the paper in his hand. _Coach, I could fucking hug you right now…_

"All of the details are in the paperwork. If you have any questions, you can ask me tomorrow."

" _Hai._ " Rin bowed from the waist. "Coach Fujino, please accept my sincere gratitude. I apologize for making such a troublesome request."

"I believe I can trust you to not make a big deal about this, Matsuoka-kun."

"Hai, of course," Rin said as he straightened.

Coach Fujino nodded. "Good. Shall we join the others?"

Rin quickly cleared his tray and followed.

-x-

He had the studio apartment to himself when he got back that night, Sugiyama out doing whatever. Rin dropped his stuff in the entryway and pulled out his phone. Haru was logged on, so he hit the call button—

It rang a few times…

"Come on, fucking _pick up_." Rin paced in the tiny kitchen, impatient.

" _Rin?"_ The call connected and it was loud with conversations and laughter wherever Haru was—it looked like some kind of bar.

"Haru—"

" _Sorry, I should've put this thing on vibrate. It's loud here."_ Haru was frowning, his T-shirt dark blue with waves on the front.

"Can you get somewhere quieter?"

" _What?"_

Rin drew a breath. "I _said_. 'Can you go somewhere quieter?'"

" _Oh, yeah, just a sec."_ Haru looked away from the screen as he walked into a different section of the bar.

 _Don't fucking hurry or anything!_ Rin leaned against the kitchen sink, tapping his foot…

" _Rin?"_ The background noise had faded and Haru was looking at the camera again, a pensive look on his face.

They spoke over each other.

"— _You're not coming tomorrow, are you?"_

"—Haru, I'm coming on Saturday and I don't leave until Monday."

Haru blinked at him. _"What?"_

 _Get your ears checked, dummy!_ Rin repeated himself slowly. "I'll be there on _Saturday_ and I don't have to leave until _Monday_."

Haru's eyes widened at the mention of Saturday and gleamed with liquid by the time Rin said Monday. His face softened with a smile that was achingly sweet and warm, making Rin wish he could launch himself through the screen to kiss those lips and wrap Haru in his arms.

_But I can. On Saturday._

" _Rin."_ Haru blinked again and a few tiny tracks of tears spilled down his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly. _"You really mean it?"_

"Yeah," Rin said, the emotion rising in his throat, too. "I'll miss your prelims in the morning, but…"

" _I don't care."_ Haru's voice was an awestruck whisper. _"Rin, it's been…sixteen days. Eighteen on Saturday."_

"I know. We'll still have six weeks more, afterwards, but…"

Haru exhaled, looking away from the screen, running the back of his arm across his eyes. He looked as overwhelmed as Rin felt inside. _"I need to sit down."_

"Don't faint on me or anything."

" _I won't."_ Haru made his way to a couch and sat. _"I'm…really happy."_

"Me too." Rin pushed a hand through his hair, pulling on a few strands lightly, just to reassure himself that yes, this was real. Yes, this was really happening.

On screen, Haru shook his head. _"I don't even know what to say."_

"It's OK. I just…had to tell you as soon as I found out."

" _Yeah."_ Haru smiled, but his eyes were shimmering like he was still on overload. _"I need to…get some water or something."_

"Yeah, go," Rin said, smiling. "I'll be pretty busy tomorrow with practice, but I'll text when I can. Then on Saturday, wherever you are—that's where I'll be."

" _OK."_ Haru took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. _"Rin. I'll see you on Saturday."_

"Yeah. Saturday."

The screen darkened and Rin pocketed his phone, his mind immediately whirling with plans. He had to pack up his stuff, make sure what he needed for tomorrow was all laid out and ready to go. And…

Rin inhaled, realizing… _I want to get you something for your birthday._ Not that he was sure what kind of thing Haru would like… _It's not like I can give you water_. But Haru might like something from the beach. Remembering the little kiosks of trinkets on the promenade, Rin glanced at the clock. It wasn't too late yet…

* * *

Saturday, June 11th, 2016

* * *

Early on Saturday morning, Rin rolled his suitcase into the entryway of the studio apartment he'd shared with Sugiyama for the past week, double-checking to make sure he hadn't left anything behind. Of course he hadn't—he'd packed everything carefully, but… _Not like I can sit still right now._ He was wearing his Team Japan warmup pants with a dark gray T-shirt; he'd packed his jacket away, given how hot it was already.

His paperwork from Coach Fujino was folded in his pocket—everything had been taken care of and he only had to pay for his share of the transportation. Meals had been rearranged and he was even in the same hotel—Coach Akagi had a spare bed where he could crash. Not spending nights with Haru was a disappointment he could live with, especially when going and coming back the same day had been the original ask. _I'd do it all for even minutes with you._ Getting a break from his current living situation was a bonus.

Sugiyama was seated at the kitchen table in his warmups with a cup of tea and his tablet, just like every morning. Japanese etiquette said Rin ought to give a polite greeting to his elder on his way out… _Whatever_. Why waste the words? He might as well talk to a wall.

Exhaling, Rin headed for the door.

"So," Sugiyama said, bringing the sum total of words he'd said to Rin in the past week to a whopping _one_. "The seven-event darling of the national team gets special treatment."

Rin's hand tightened on the handle of his suitcase. By seven, Sugiyama was omitting the medley relay, even though the roster had yet to be finalized. _It's gonna be eight when that happens._

"Even though you fell flat on your face in this competition."

Rin turned, not at all surprised to find that Sugiyama hadn't looked up from his tea or his tablet. Anyone else wouldn't be calling five medals in six events, plus a meet record, a national record, and a third place overall ranking a failure…but that was the recovery. _I shouldn't have fucked it up in the first place._

"I asked," Rin said. "That was it."

Sugiyama continued to flick through whatever he was looking at on his tablet. "I hate to say I was right…but I don't need to." He shrugged. "Go, get your fix. Maybe then Rome won't be a lost cause. If not…good thing the two of you will be together in Rio."

Rin drew a breath, meeting the frosty words with a careful smile, even though Sugiyama wasn't looking at him. "Yeah. Maybe you're right. We swim better together. It's always been that way." He paused, allowing his voice to cool. "I guess you don't know what that feels like."

For the first time, Sugiyama met his gaze with eyes that were like flecks of obsidian stone. "Friends and supporters can only carry you so far. In the end, attachments are just drains on your time and attention." He lowered his tea cup, setting it down on the table. "You'll never be the best in this sport unless you give it everything." Sugiyama sat back in his chair, his fingertips gliding against the table's surface. "But if this is all just a tea party to you anyways, please." Cold amusement sparkled in his eyes. "Enjoy your fifteen minutes while it lasts."

The retort was forming on Rin's tongue, but his own voice was echoing in his head. _I'm never gonna fall in love. I'm never going to give up my dream._

A realization seized him, like a frozen moment of time, all stillness and sudden clarity, as he stared at the man in front of him. _In ten years… I could be you. Multiple Olympics, a rack full of medals, records, money, sponsorship contracts… I could have it all, and be just as alone and bitter…only happy when I think I'm better than everyone else._ Rin's grasp loosened, the fiery reply dying in his throat. _That's not what my dream looks like._

Sugiyama was waiting for a comeback, his eyes gleaming with the victory he surely felt.

But Rin's heart had settled with calm and his voice, when he spoke, had an easiness to it. "See you on Monday, Sugiyama-senpai." He turned and left without another word.

Rin carted his suitcase through the courtyard to the parking lot, stopping by the curb. Not ten minutes later, the car pulled up to get him. He put his suitcase in the trunk and climbed into the backseat, nodding to the sponsor rep he was traveling with as he fastened his seatbelt. The guy just nodded back, in the middle of a conversation on his Blackberry.

Rin looked out the window as the driver pulled away from the curb. He leaned his elbow against the door, resting his jaw against his knuckles. _My dream…looks like Haru and I standing on the podium together. Swimming together, training together…and having a life together, too._ He bit his lower lip gently, thoughtful. _Maybe I'm wrong about the fragile things…and the precious things…_

Minutes later, they were on the road headed west towards Perpignan, where they would turn south for Spain…for Barcelona and Haru.

 _And if that's the way it is… Dad, why didn't you do it all?_ Rin sighed, sitting back, not having an answer for that one.

He let the thought fade, closing his eyes briefly. _Haru, I'll see you in two hours…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Centre De Natation Arlette Franco](https://www.canetenroussillon.fr/wp-content/uploads/europa-LM-3405.jpg)


	15. Barcelona free, Part 1

By 10am, they were on the outskirts of Barcelona, the grassy, rolling hills lining the highway giving way to apartment buildings in red brick with sun-drenched balconies. Rin was doing his best to stay still, but the anticipation inside him just kept building. He'd spent the last hour willing the car to go faster with his mind, though that hadn't made the needle on the speedometer budge even a little. Entering the city, the car passed beneath a white sign that said _BARCELONA Pl. de les Gl_ _ò_ _ries_. Rin let out a slow, measured breath. In _minutes_ —not weeks, days, or even hours—he'd see Haru again. His hands were buried in the pockets of his warmup pants, coiled tight in an attempt to keep it all together—keep it from exploding out of him. If he was a nail biter, he would've worn his fingernails to nubs by now, just to have something to do. Not even scrolling through two and a half weeks of _saba_ photos from Haru on his phone was going to help at this point.

The highway became the _Avinguda Meridiana_. There weren't that many street lights, but it _felt_ like they hit every one. Their first stop was the hotel, where Rin dropped off his suitcase for storage until later. Then, it was back in the car, headed for the _Club Natació Sant Andreu_.

Minutes later, the car _finally_ slowed alongside a large building of red brick and stopped in front of a white stucco entryway off the sidewalk. Coach Akagi was waiting by the curb in his Team Japan warmup pants and a black T-shirt. Rin got out; immediately, he could hear cheering.

Coach Akagi nodded to the sponsor rep who remained in the car. "Thanks." Then the car was pulling away from the curb, headed for the airport.

Rin drew a deep breath and bowed from the waist. "Coach Akagi, I apologize for all of the trouble."

"Don't worry about it," Akagi said, waving him towards the door. "Let's go. His race is done, but I haven't been able to get him out of the water."

"Hai." Rin followed, forcing himself to keep pace though he wanted to sprint— _Haru._

After the gate and registration, the club was all open air—the 50m pool running north-south and the 25m pool adjacent to it running east-west, both with retractable roofs—and a paved promenade where athletes and spectators were milling about. There were pool chairs and large umbrellas for shade; cordoned off walkways led into the stands for the main pool.

As they headed down a set of steps to reach the promenade, Akagi pointed out the 25m warmup pool, surrounded by glass walls. "I'm gonna get back to it. Nanase-kun knows where we're sitting."

"Hai," Rin said, his heart pounding in his throat as Akagi left. The place was a madhouse and hot; his T-shirt felt a little stifling, though he wasn't going to bitch about that _now_. Rin took a shortcut across the pavement.

Even with dozens of athletes occupying the 25m pool, Rin picked out Haru immediately on the other side of the glass. He knew those long, lithe strokes of free, the way Haru's body cut through the water in perfect synergy to the ripples on the surface. _Haru._ A warm feeling welled up inside him, spreading through his chest and he quickened his steps— _How the fuck do I get in there?_ The 25m pool made a T with the main pool, the lanes backing right up to the stands; that was where the glass wall ended and most of the people were entering and exiting through there. But he caught sight of a door propped open on the east side of the pool—the side farthest from the main pool and nearest to him.

Rin slipped through the crowds, dodging toes and gear bags and pool furniture, until he was at the opening, breathing in the chlorinated air and gripping the metal frame of the doorway with white knuckles.

Haru was swimming away from him, nearing the west side of the pool.

"Haru!" Rin's voice was lost in the cheering and the sound of limbs slapping the water. He tried again—but Haru didn't react.

_Of course you can't fucking hear me in the water. Would you get out for one damn second?!_

Haru reached the opposite side of the pool and climbed out, the water sluicing off his frame as he pulled off his cap and goggles.

" _HARU!_ "

He whirled and Rin was already feeling the tears the moment their gazes met. Haru flung his cap and goggles to the ground and dove, swimming the fastest 25m Rin had ever seen—without a single breath—launching himself out of the pool and into Rin's arms three steps later.

Rin staggered back, soaked, his arms locked around Haru's neck while Haru's arms were so tight around his torso that he couldn't breathe. His face was pressed into Haru's wet hair, his lungs burning from the chlorine and lack of air, and it was the _best fucking moment of his life—_

 _Haru, oh God… It's been forever._ Rin trembled, his fingers digging into Haru's damp shoulders. _Since I last got to hold you like this…_

When air became imperative, Rin struggled a little, loosening his arms and trying to get Haru to do the same. "Haru, I can't—"

Haru relinquished fistfuls of Rin's T-shirt, his arms relaxing to a circle and settling around Rin's hips. Rin finally drew a breath, leaning back just enough to see Haru's face.

His gaze met startling blue—Haru's eyes warm and liquid. It was impossible to tell the water from the tears and Rin was sure his face looked worse.

"…Hey," he said. It was lame, but the only thing he could think of. _You're the one who said most of our communication was non-verbal and swimming... You were right._

Haru smiled with his eyes, reaching up… "Hey." Haru held Rin's face in his hands, the slow arcs of his thumbs brushing away hair, tear tracks, and water.

The touch was utterly tender, Rin's throat closing with a fresh wave of emotion. He blinked, more droplets slipping from his eyes. _Haru_. Rin buried his hands in Haru's hair. _If there wasn't a zillion people here, we'd be 100% kissing right now._ He bit his lower lip, his gaze flicking to Haru's mouth. … _Do I really care? Mm, I don't think I do—_

But Haru beat him to it, curling a hand around the back of his neck and their lips were suddenly flush, damp with chlorine and salty with tears. Rin's face heated but he didn't pull away, losing himself in Haru's pliant lips, the kiss soft with affection…languid, unhurried…until a sudden burst of cheering from the main pool startled them into breaking apart—

A blush colored Haru's cheeks. "Was that OK? You looked like you wanted it too, but I didn't ask…"

"God, yes," Rin said, exhaling. In his peripheral vision, he could tell they were getting some attention, but he didn't feel the slightest bit of regret. _Line up and we'll sell tickets._ He grinned.

Haru's eyes lit with pleasure. He drew back, but only a little, his hands resting on Rin's waist. "Oh." A sheepish look crossed his face. "I got you pretty wet."

Rin shrugged, not caring in the least. "I needed to cool down anyways." His arms were still draped comfortably around Haru's shoulders. "How was your race?"

"Nn." Haru glanced aside, his arms dropping to his sides. "I screwed that up."

Rin didn't want to let go yet. "What was your time?"

Haru frowned. "Almost forty-nine. I was…distracted."

Rin sighed fondly. "Haru, you watched me completely self-destruct on Wednesday. You still made the final, right?"

"Yeah, fourth place."

Rin rolled his eyes. "Don't complain about that, dummy. It's fine."

"Nn."

"I mean it," Rin said, running his hands through Haru's wet hair before forcing himself to let go. The way Haru exhaled and leaned into his touch though, fuck— Rin cleared his throat as he reluctantly pulled away. "Coach Akagi said we should meet them in the stands."

"Mm, yeah. I'll get my stuff," Haru said. "…You'll be right here?" Rin could hear the twinge of anxiety in Haru's voice, could read it in the blue of Haru's eyes.

"Yeah. I'm not going anywhere, Haru," he said. "Promise."

Haru still seemed reluctant to leave, but he went, holding Rin's gaze for as long as he could until he had to turn away to avoid falling into the pool.

Rin stayed in the exact same spot, by the glass wall, waiting while Haru retrieved his cap and goggles.

They stopped first at a cluster of pool chairs beneath a white umbrella, the area claimed by a small Japanese flag attached to the umbrella's center post. Haru toweled off, pulling on his warmup pants and a gray T-shirt that matched Rin's, along with sneakers.

"We're this way," Haru said, starting off towards the main pool.

Rin followed, the crowds denser the closer they got to the pool. He inhaled as others cut between them. "Haru—"

Haru stopped, reaching back…Rin grabbed his hand. They climbed up into packed temporary stands that backed up to the warmup pool, joining Coach Akagi, Captain Ikehara, and Konishi.

"Matsuoka-kun." Captain Ikehara greeted him with a broad smile and a wave. He wore a red and white T-shirt with his warmup pants, a towel slung around his shoulders. The copper highlights in his hair glinted in the sunlight.

"Captain," Rin said and _now_ he felt a little self-conscious, getting special treatment in front of his fellow teammates and especially Captain Ikehara. He'd do it all again in a heartbeat, though.

"Matsuoka-kun," Konishi said, smiling at him. Her chin-length black hair was damp. She reclined in a gray T-shirt and red Team Japan shorts.

"Konishi-san."

Their teammates scooted over, making room on the bench and Rin sat next to Haru, their hands still together, fingers interlaced. Rin wasn't going to be the first to let go.

"Ozawa-san's in the 200 fly next," Captain Ikehara said.

Down below, the men were racing the 200 fly, heat six of eight, according to the board that was on Rin's right, at the turn end of the pool. The start and finish of the pool was on their left, the wall behind the blocks covered by a huge banner that said _TROFEU INTERNACIONAL DE NATACI_ _Ó_ _CIUTAT DE BARCELONA_ , with the _Club Nataci_ _ó_ _Sant Andreu_ logo and a picture of a swimmer mid-stroke. The retractable roof over the 50m pool was open to bright, late-morning sunshine, the curved roof sections pushed back to either side and providing shade for the blocks. On the opposite side of the pool, the permanent stands were full of athletes and spectators. A camera on a rail in front chased the swimmers across the pool and back.

 _For once, I don't have to worry about my own races. I can focus on you, completely._ It was a new idea and Rin would need to mull it over a bit more… _But right now, I'm just so happy to be with you._ He found himself looking at Haru rather than at the race below.

Haru noticed, eyes flicking to him askance with a knowing look. Haru's gaze slipped to Rin's lips before he turned his attention forward again.

Rin's breath caught. _Oh, was that five kisses?_

-x-

After the morning's program was completed, they gathered at the pool chairs, under the shade of the umbrella. Lunch was rice, vegetables and two choices of protein, neither of which were mackerel. Rin shared one of the lounge chairs with Haru, the two of them using it like a bench. He watched as Haru frowned at his tray, then promptly dug into his gear bag, coming out with a can and chopsticks.

Rin's brow twitched.

Haru glanced at him, offering the can once he'd popped the lid. "Want some, Rin? I have more. And different flavors." He opened his gear bag, showing Rin several cans of _saba_ inside. _Saba_ in soy sauce, _saba_ in miso _, saba_ in water…

"Haru, how much did you bring? You took all that through customs?"

Haru gaze hardened with a defiant look. "I checked before I packed. EU customs—you can bring up to twenty kilograms of fish."

Rin leaned close. "And did you? Bring _twenty_ kilos?"

"Of course not." Haru ate a bite. "That would fill my whole bag."

Rin sat back with a sigh.

"…I brought five."

" _Five_ kilos? Haru, that's like _fifty_ cans."

Haru continued to eat his canned _saba_ , giving Rin a look like, _yeah, you can do math._

" _Tch._ " Rin rolled his eyes in exasperation.

The group disbanded after lunch, Ozawa and Konishi heading for the jacuzzi, Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara leaving for the sauna. _Or you're just leaving us alone. I'm not complaining._

As soon as the others were gone, Haru leaned against him.

 _Haru_. Rin wrapped his arms around Haru's shoulders, his heart settling inside him. He pressed his lips to Haru's hair, inhaling the familiar scent he'd missed so much.

"We have a lot of time to make up for, the next two days," Haru said, his hands curling around Rin's forearms, resting there.

"Yeah," Rin whispered. "We do." He closed his eyes, tightening his arms.

-x-

The club encompassed an entire city block and had at least ten tennis courts that Rin counted, not to mention indoor facilities. After one loop of the place, they walked outside for a bit, along the _Carrer de Dubl_ _í_ _n_ , just to escape the crowds. The sidewalks were almost as broad as the two-lane street in the center, with benches and trees lining the road. A grade school with a playground was across the street to the south. Tall apartment buildings surrounded the club; their first floors given to restaurants, parking garages, and shops. The heat of the afternoon was tempered by a gentle breeze and the few clouds dotting the brilliantly blue sky.

They walked in silence for a long time, Haru's calm demeanor spilling over into Rin in that way he couldn't explain, soothing weeks of frayed nerves and stress. In the quiet, broken only by the scuff of their sneakers against the sidewalk, the leaves rustling gently in the wind… _I can finally think about us._

Rin's gaze drifted to their clasped hands, marveling at this simple thing he'd dared to wish for months ago…and told himself he couldn't have. He remembered that April morning so clearly—the way the water droplets sparkled on the glass walls of the skybridge at the NTC, the way Haru had looked in the refracted light...and Haru's soft words. _Is our dream that fragile, Rin? …Could it handle more, if that's what we both wanted?_

Shame and regret formed a hot lump in Rin's throat. _Fuck!_ _I was so blind. Thinking that being together was going to cost me my dream._ Canet was proof that the exact opposite was true. _I can't do this without you. But more than that…I don't want to._

"…Rin?" Haru's steps slowed beside him.

Rin stopped walking, his hand tightening around Haru's as he lifted his eyes. Haru was studying his face, questioning with a glance. The wind brushed against them, sifting through their hair and rippling across their Team Japan T-shirts. A tree near the curb offered some shade.

" _Gomen_ ," Rin murmured. "I've been thinking the wrong things are fragile this whole time."

Haru's eyes widened. He turned, the two of them facing each other.

 _No one else would've put up with me, been so patient._ "The way I pushed you away…" Rin swallowed, the pain tight in his chest. He had to drop his gaze. _To think I would've traded what we have for medals and records and…lost you in the process…_

"Rin." Haru's voice was solemn. "The way I feel about you isn't fragile. I meant it, when I said I wouldn't ask you to give up your dream."

 _Haru_. Rin's eyes burned as the ache worsened. _But that's what I mean—my dream…_

"I would've waited a lot longer than this, for us to be something."

"Haru—" Rin let go of Haru's hand so he could throw his arms around Haru's shoulders in a fierce embrace. He buried his face in the side of Haru's neck, the words spilling from his lips. "My dream…doesn't work without you. Not anyone else. _You._ " He felt Haru's breath hitch. "Medals aren't all that I care about. I want _us_ , too." Rin's voice lost its forcefulness; he felt like his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. "We say 'someday' like the Olympics are more important…but that's not what I want." _The only way I ever convinced myself I wasn't in love with you…was by avoiding the question._ The answer was so obvious to him now that it _hurt_.

" _Rin_ …" Haru's voice came out shaky. His arms circled Rin, one gripping Rin's side, the other threading into his hair. "You're my dream," Haru whispered. Rin's eyes flew wide, his lips parting in a gasp. Haru's arms tightened. "Being apart like this… I can only do it because of you. I never would've on my own."

 _Haru…_ Startled, Rin lifted his head, meeting the liquid blue of Haru's eyes—gleaming with affection. For the first time, he wasn't afraid to call this what it was…and he wasn't afraid to admit to himself that he wanted this _so fucking bad_. _Is this what it feels like? When two people love each other_. _Holy shit—_

There wasn't any point trying to figure out who kissed who first. Their lips met and it was _perfect_. Rin felt weights dropping from his shoulders left and right, like the battle was over in a war he didn't even know he'd been fighting with himself. It was incredible and _freeing_ —

So he could turn his attention to _really_ kissing Haru which seemed like a better and more worthwhile use of his time and energy—

Haru drew back, a glint in his eyes as they both caught their breath. "Did you forget we're out in public, Rin?"

"No," Rin said, though he was horrible liar…

Haru's gaze warmed. He pulled away, grabbing Rin's hand and tugging. "Come on. It's about that time."

"Mm." Rin smiled, lacing their fingers together as they headed back towards the club. "I guess we're not doing the counting thing anymore, huh?"

A thoughtful look crossed Haru's face. "Oh. That."

Rin cocked a brow. "Did you forget? It was your idea."

Haru shook his head. "No. I just…stopped counting a while ago."

"You what?"

Haru shrugged. "That night at your apartment, when we said goodbye… We never kissed like that when we were kids, Rin."

… _You have a point._ Rin chuckled. "You could've told me."

"I thought it was obvious."

He grinned. _Of course you did._

-x-

The A-Finals in Barcelona started at 4pm with the women's 800m free. They were in the stands for a little while, watching, before Haru sighed. Rin glanced over.

"I guess I should go warm up."

Rin squeezed Haru's fingers. "That's a first, Haru. Usually, you're racing for the pool."

"Nn." Haru frowned as he freed his hand. "You're my pool," he murmured.

Rin blushed, a thrill running through him. _Haru. I'm your dream, your pool…what else am I to you? Water, too?_ He grabbed Haru's elbow and leaned in, setting his lips to Haru's ear. "You're not distracted now, right? You can show me something good…" Rin let the words hang in the air as he drew back—

Haru's eyes had darkened a couple of shades, glittering with tease and promise—a sultry look that made Rin forget how to breathe. "Yeah," Haru said, his voice low, their faces still close. "I'll show you a sight worth the trip, Rin." He pulled away, leaving Rin with a racing heartbeat and _fuck this whole breathing thing—_

Haru climbed down from the stands, followed shortly thereafter by Captain Ikehara and Konishi. Ozawa was already off getting ready for her first race—the women's 50m breaststroke. So Rin was left with Coach Akagi—his roommate for the next two days. The disappointment had more of an edge to it, now that he was here, but it wasn't like he could ask Captain Ikehara to give up his bed—not when Rin was the one imposing on everyone else's arrangements at the last minute.

Rin leaned back in his seat, tucking his hands into the pockets of his warmup pants as his face cooled and his heartrate calmed.

The 800m free was followed by the men's 50m backstroke, the women's 50m breaststroke—where Ozawa took bronze—and the men's 50m fly. It felt weird, not being down there. He wouldn't feel the pre-race nerves, wait—tensed and breathless—for the buzzer, or get to attack the water for a chance on the podium. No one would be cheering for him today. _And when you take the block for the 100m free, I won't be beside you._ He wouldn't trade being here for anything, but this small piece of it was bittersweet. _Yeah, I want it all. I want you and I want swimming, too. …Guess I'm just that greedy._

After the medal presentation for the first four events—the podium in front of a sponsor wall to the left of the start blocks—the women's 400m IM was next. Rin watched the start. In another few minutes, it would be time for Haru's race.

The air threaded through Rin's teeth as he recalled the look Haru had given him before leaving. _Yeah, I was teasing you first, but fuck._ That was the worst part of not rooming together. _It's not like we'll get any real alone time…_ He tried not to dwell on it. Just being here with Haru was everything.

The women's race concluded and the swimmers were clearing the pool deck. …Then the men were walking out for the 100m free while the announcer called out the names. Haru was towards the front of the line in his warmups and swim cap, with his goggles on his forehead. He stopped behind the block for lane six.

"Nanase-kun!" "Nanase!" Ozawa and Konishi were yelling from the waiting area.

Rin sat forward in his seat, cupping his hands around his mouth. "Haru!"

They were half a pool apart, but Haru looked over and met his gaze, briefly, before turning and shucking off his warmups with flourish.

Rin grinned.

At the whistle, Haru mounted the block in his Team Japan jammers, pressing his goggles into place. A swimmer from Great Britain was on his right in lane five, a swimmer from South Africa was on his left in lane seven. The top seed in lane four was from Lithuania.

" _Take your marks_."

Rin made fists in his lap, tense with Haru as they waited for the start. _Come on, you got this—47.84._

Haru sprung forward at the buzzer, in a perfect arc that stole Rin's breath. It felt like a lifetime— _since the last time I got to see you dive over me._ A puff of air escaped his lips as he waited for Haru to surface from the underwater phase…

Haru broke through just prior to fifteen meters, going to long pulls of free that had him sailing through the water. The announcer was covering the race in rapid Spanish—Rin had no idea what was being said, other than _seis_ and _tres_ for lanes six and three. Haru had a slight lead; the German swimmer in lane three was close behind him. The two led the pack into the wall for the turn, Haru hitting first, his split time flashing up on the board at 23.48. _On pace_.

Rin waited until Haru popped up, yelling again. "Haru!"

The cheering got louder as the swimmers charged towards the finish, Haru gliding faster and faster and making it look fucking effortless. Rin's heart was racing; he was half out of his seat, barely breathing as he watched Haru widen his lead and sprint to the wall—

Haru popped up and Rin spun for the board—

1 6 NANASE HARUKA 47.79

Rin jumped out of his seat, thrusting a fist into the air. "Yes!" Someone was probably going to think it was weird, him celebrating having his own national record broken, but— _I don't fucking care. "Haru!"_

Haru was bobbing in the water, one hand on the side of the pool as he pulled off his cap and goggles. But he looked happy—Rin could tell when their eyes met, even from this distance.

Rin stood where he was, impatient as Haru climbed out of the pool. _I'm supposed to be in the lane next to you so I can hug you immediately. This sucks._

Rin shifted from foot to foot as Haru grabbed his things from the bin behind the block, not bothering to dry off or get dressed. He just bundled his clothes in his arms and rounded the edge of the pool at a determined clip.

Rin moved to the edge of the stands—

As soon as Haru got there, he dumped his stuff on the floor, vaulting the rail and enfolding Rin in a tight, wet hug.

Rin laughed, one hand gripping the rail so they wouldn't fall into anyone, his other arm thrown around Haru's shoulders. "Haru—"

They stayed like that for several seconds, Haru's embrace only loosening when the announcer came on again, introducing the next race. "Good, Rin?" Haru asked, his lips finding the edge of Rin's jaw.

Rin exhaled roughly as Haru pulled back. "Yeah. Really good."

Haru smiled with his eyes. He slipped back down to the floor, toweling off and pulling on his warmups, though he left the jacket unzipped.

Rin smoothed the front of clothes, sopping wet for the second time today. _Worth it._ He reclaimed his seat as Konishi shed her warmups behind the block for lane three, preparing for the women's 100m backstroke final.

Haru sat down next to him, their hands immediately intertwined.

"Is this going to be a normal thing with you two from now on?" Coach Akagi asked.

Rin's face heated. _You mean the part where we have to be touching each other? Or…?_

"Yes," Haru said.

Akagi sat back, sighing. "It's a lot of paperwork for the JOC, you know. They should start preprinting the certificates with both of your names."

 _Oh, the national record_. _Of course that…_ Rin grinned. "Yeah, better tell them to queue it up for Rome."

"Phoenix first, Rin," Haru said.

Rin lifted a brow. "You're gonna beat your own record?"

Haru shrugged. "Why not? Can't make it easy on you," he said, smiling with his eyes.

 _Haru_. He held Haru's gaze for a long moment, soaking it in—

The whistle sounded, sending the swimmers dropping into the pool and climbing up on the holds for the start. Rin, reluctantly, turned his gaze to the race…

Konishi took bronze in the 100m backstroke, followed by Captain Ikehara claiming silver in the 100m breaststroke. Haru went down for the medal ceremony afterwards, Rin cheering along with his teammates as Haru got his gold and a certificate for breaking the course record. Rin couldn't really see the podium from where he was sitting, but he watched it on the screen.

Haru came back, trailed by Konishi and Ikehara with their medals. There were congratulations all around and Haru climbed up into the stands next to Rin, taking off the gold medal.

"Haru—" Rin's voice came out hushed as Haru slipped the glinting medal over his head, smoothing the red and orange lanyard against his shoulders. The gesture had heat circling Rin's throat, especially with the obvious happiness dancing in Haru's eyes.

Haru sat down next to him and Rin sniffed hard, slinging his arm around Haru's shoulders. He leaned against Haru's back, his face tucked into the collar of Haru's warmup jacket, too happy for words.

-x-

The A-finals were done by 6pm. They had dinner at the club and then headed back to the hotel via a shuttle, since none of the team was competing in the B-finals that started at 7pm. Rin's fingers were still laced with Haru's as he climbed out of the van onto the curb in front of the hotel—a nine-story building of mostly red brick with pairs of windows in neat rows. Their medals gleamed in the sunlight—Ikehara's silver, Konishi's bronze, Ozawa's gold from the 200m breaststroke and silver from the 100m fly, and Rin still wore Haru's gold from the 100m free. Haru carried his gear bag, having changed back into his gray Team Japan T-shirt.

Coach Akagi waited on the sidewalk until they'd all gathered. "Good showing today, everyone," he said, his hands in the pockets of his warmup pants, his eyes pleased. "Get some rest tonight. Another early start tomorrow."

There was a chorus of hai's and nods, then they entered the hotel through the rotating glass door out front.

 _Now what?_ Rin let Haru lead the way. The lobby was brightly lit, with the front desk straight ahead and a restaurant off to the right. Athletes and other travelers were coming and going. It wasn't like they could nap in the room Haru shared with Ikehara. _But if we can at least hang out somewhere quieter than this…_

Haru was aiming for the elevators, following the others, but Rin slowed his steps, letting go of Haru's hand. "Haru, I have to check on my luggage. Should I meet you somewhere?"

"I'll wait," Haru said, stopping.

Rin nodded, heading for the front desk. He stood in line briefly, until one of the clerks called him over.

" _Bienvenido_. _Are you checking in?_ " the man asked.

" _Buenas tardes_. _I dropped off my luggage earlier, under the name Rin Matsuoka_."

The clerk consulted his computer. " _Your luggage has been taken to your room, Se_ _ñ_ _or Matsuoka. One moment and I'll get you a key_ …" The man placed the card into a folder and handed it to him across the desk. " _Here you are, room 309. Is there anything else I can help you with?_ "

Rin shook his head. " _No._ _Gracias_."

He joined Haru and they headed for the elevator. Inside, Haru hit the button for the 3rd floor.

Rin inhaled. "What do you want to do now? We should change, I guess…"

Haru shrugged. "I'm flexible."

There was a ding and the elevator doors opened onto the 3rd floor. Rin followed Haru out, stopping to consult the sign indicating which way to go to get to his room… The hallway had dark wood paneling with cream wallpaper on top and marble flooring in pink and gray.

Haru was already moving down the hall to the left; it happened that Rin's room was in the same direction.

"Did you want to meet downstairs?" Rin asked, trailing him and scanning the numbered plates on the walls. _305…307…_

Haru didn't answer, stopping in front of a door and pulling a key card from his pocket.

Rin's eyes widened as Haru swiped the card at the door to room 309. When the green light blinked, he wasn't breathing, his heart knocking in his chest as Haru opened the door… From the hallway, Rin could see the two perfectly-made beds, his suitcase upright in the entryway next to Haru's.

Haru went in, holding the door open. "Captain Ikehara offered to switch. …If that's OK with you, Rin."

The air rushed from Rin's lungs. He launched himself through the doorway, tackling Haru—

They managed to stay upright, the door closing behind them. _I get to stay with you?_ Rin couldn't speak, his head spinning with the _hours_ they'd just gained—two whole nights to be spent in each other's arms, rather than Rin counting the minutes until they were together again. And—God—the _privacy_ … He was already breathless, but now his face burned as the possibilities whirled in his mind, so many longings and daydreams and desires. This changed everything. _And you_ knew _when you were teasing me earlier, you ass…_

Rin drew back, just enough to meet Haru's gaze. His arms were draped around Haru's shoulders while Haru's hands rested lightly on his hips.

Haru was looking at him, blue eyes searching, waiting for something… "It's OK?" he asked, quietly. Pink dusted Haru's cheekbones.

The way their bodies were pressed together, Rin could tell Haru was holding his breath. "Yeah," Rin said, swallowing. "It's OK, Haru." _This will be what we decide it is. Tonight…tomorrow night…_

Haru relaxed in his arms, releasing a long, slow breath. His eyes softened. "…Rin?"

Rin inhaled. Their faces were so close already—it would hardly take any move at all for them to be kissing... "Yeah?"

"Can I put my bag down?"

"Oh." Blushing, Rin let go. "Yeah."

Haru moved away, pulling the strap of his gear bag over his head and setting the bag on the desk. Then he perched on the bed closest to the door, removing his shoes. Rin got his first actual look at the room. It was long and narrow with a window at the end, flanked by dark brown drapes. The walls had blonde wood wainscoting and beige wallpaper. The bathroom was just to the right of the entryway, with a small tub and shower. In the main room were the desk and two beds, with nightstands and a TV in the corner by the window. The room was lit by lamps attached to the walls, on either side of the beds, and by the daylight coming in through the window. The view outside was brick buildings across an alley and a few trees.

Rin wandered deeper into the room. The bed linens were white with a patterned red coverlet over the foot of each bed and… he lifted his brows. "They're really close together, huh?" _I mean, I could get my hand between them…maybe_. Just a few centimeters. Rin blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Did you do this already?" He sat down on the bed nearest the window, untying his sneakers.

"Hm?" Haru glanced over. "Oh. No, they were like that. It's normal here."

Rin rolled his eyes as he got up. "Haru, how many times do I have to tell you?" He set his shoes in the entryway, next to Haru's. "Just because it's a foreign country—"

"It was like that in Norway, too," Haru said, unpacking a few items from his gear bag onto the desk.

"…Oh." Rin leaned against the wall, opposite the beds, shoving his hands into his pockets. He tried not to think about it—someone else getting to sleep that close to Haru.

"It was different in France?" Haru finished whatever he was doing, coming over.

"We were staying in apartments. Sugiyama and I had bunk beds." _And I had to take the top one_. He frowned at the memory.

"Captain Ikehara and I didn't cuddle, Rin."

" _Tch_ , Haru." Rin pinned him with a glare. "I know you didn't."

Haru lifted a brow. "But it bothers you?"

 _Yeah, I'm fucking jealous_. His cheeks heated. _That he got to be with you all this time._

Haru smiled with his eyes; Rin knew his face gave him away again. "Did you want to unpack some things?"

 _What I_ want _to do is kiss you_ … Rin's hands curled in his pockets.

Haru's face smoothed, his eyes glittering. "…Or not, Rin?"

Rin exhaled carefully. "Just one thing."

He left Haru looking at him curiously as he went to his suitcase and opened it, pulling out his gear bag. In the outside pocket, on a blue and yellow lanyard, was his gold medal from the 100m free final in Canet-en-Roussillon.

Haru's eyes widened as he carried it back. Rin laid it around Haru's neck, the medal shining in the lamp light, and smiled at his handiwork. "There. We match."

Haru lifted the medal to study it, his eyes bright. "Rin…"

Rin propped a hand on his hip. "I guess I can let you keep the national record for a couple weeks. After that, though—"

He was interrupted by Haru hugging him, arms winding tight around his torso. Even though this once-rare event was becoming more frequent, Rin's breath still hitched, as shocked as the first time. _Haru…_

"I'm really glad you're here," Haru said in a whisper, his face against Rin's hair, his lips near Rin's left ear.

"Me too." Rin's heart was back to thudding in his chest as he settled his arms around Haru's shoulders and tightened the embrace, their medals clinking between them. The room was quiet with just the two of them and the muffled street noise from outside. There wasn't any roommate to worry about now…or any place they needed to be until tomorrow morning. Rin gathered his courage, lowering his voice. "Na, Haru…"

"Hm?" Haru's lips found Rin's jaw, just below his ear.

Rin's breath ran through his teeth. "Since we're done being like kids…" He threaded one hand into Haru's hair, the strands like chlorinated silk against his fingertips. "…More's OK?"

Haru lifted his head, his arms tightening. Blue eyes searched Rin's face for a moment, then softened. The pink in Haru's cheeks deepened. "Yeah. …You?"

"Yeah," Rin said, blushing. "I mean, we should probably have some rule about sex and competitions, but…" He dropped his attention to Haru's lips as he leaned in—

"OK," Haru said, their noses brushing just before their mouths met.

The kiss was soft at first, warm with the initial give of lips…but there was firmness underneath and nothing tentative nor shy. Rin felt the kiss with his whole body, reveling in how right and _good_ Haru's mouth felt against his own. _I've been wanting…needing to kiss you like this for months._ He lost a bit of air in a quiet noise as Haru pulled him closer, their bodies flush from their shoulders to their hips. _Why the fuck didn't I figure this out sooner?_

One of Haru's hands grazed Rin's spine through his T-shirt and curled against the back of his neck, Rin's mind blanking with the pleasure of it. _Haru_ … He gasped lightly—breaking from Haru's lips for breath—and returned, finding a strip of jawline that looked too good not to kiss, Haru's skin tasting like chlorine and salt.

"Rin." Haru's voice came out ragged…husky with desire. "What's the rule?"

"Hm." Rin hummed against Haru's skin, lifting his mouth just long enough to get each word out, angling his head for better access of Haru's neck. "No marks, I guess." Haru tilted his head back, giving Rin even more canvas to work with. "And not during or right before…that's what I always heard."

"…Me too," Haru said, both of his hands burying deep into Rin's hair.

Delicious shivers raked through him at the scrape of Haru's fingertips, his groan muffled against Haru's throat. He ran his lips down to the juncture of neck and shoulder, Haru's responding jerk and breathy sigh indicating he'd found a sensitive spot. _I remember you had a neck thing…_

_But you're swimming tomorrow, so we should probably…_

A grumble of protest slipped from his lips when Haru shifted, his mouth losing purchase on Haru's skin. But the complaint was muffled by Haru's mouth and a tentative sweep of tongue between his parted lips that filled him with heat.

_Oh, fuck—_

Rin's hands curled into fists, one in Haru's hair, one in the fabric of Haru's T-shirt as their tongues slid against one another…lips and teeth occasionally getting in the way as they figured it out. But they found a rhythm and depth that suited them quickly—like in anything they did together, in the water and out of the water. He didn't even care that Haru tasted faintly like _saba_.

A few rounds of _that_ and hands were gripping his hips, moving him backwards. Rin stopped when he could go no further, a pliant mattress behind him. Haru was coaxing him down, arms supporting his back, so it was only the last few centimeters that he dropped, the kiss breaking. Rin took the opportunity to breathe, the bed beneath him, Haru above him. The view alone tore a groan from his throat—though it usually involved a lot fewer clothes when Haru was over him. There was a brief clash of legs until they found a comfortable position with their knees slotted together, their arms locked around each other's torsos. Both of their gold medals slid against Rin's throat, annoyingly in the way.

Haru was breathing hard above him, blue eyes darkened by several shades, face reddened. He paused to strip off the Canet medal, dropping it to the bed beside them. "Not much more, Rin," he said, capturing Rin's mouth again, his tongue gliding between Rin's lips as effortlessly as he entered the water at the start of a race.

_Haru, you fucking tease…_

Rin snorted the next time they broke for air. " _You're_ the one who pushed me onto the bed." He got one hand free to yank the Barcelona medal off; it bounced before coming to rest on the bed a little ways away.

Haru cocked a brow, a mock-innocent expression on his face. "What? We're just kissing…"

Rin narrowed his eyes in a glare. "Oh, I'll show you _just kissing_ —"

With a shove and a roll, he flipped them, pinning Haru underneath. Rin savored the breathy exhale that fell from Haru's lips as he tangled a hand into Haru's hair; his other hand was laced with Haru's, down against the sheets. Their mouths met roughly in a brief kiss that was more like Rin's swimming—with intent and purpose, conquering the water… With a tug, Rin exposed Haru's throat and dipped his head to attack the sensitive skin below Haru's jawline. But he didn't anticipate—

" _Rin_ —" His name was chased with a moan that flooded Rin with fire. Haru's hand twisted in the fabric of Rin's T-shirt, his breaths coming in sharp, irregular hitches.

 _Haru, fuck—_ Rin relented before he lost his mind with Haru beneath him, sounding like _that_ , assured he'd gotten his point across. He loosened his hold on Haru's hair, drawing back— _Now, we're even._ The air hissed out through his teeth. _I can't take any more of this either._

Haru drew slow, deep breaths, conceding with a nod and with a gentle brush of fingers through Rin's hair.

Rin sighed, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Haru's shoulder for a moment. _Stupid competitions._ But discipline was important and agreed-to boundaries were nothing to fuck around with. It would only be harder in Rio. Hell, things were hard enough _now_ …

"Rin." Haru's fingers squeezed his and Rin lifted his head.

He exhaled unsteadily at the tender way Haru was looking at him, sinking towards Haru's lips because he couldn't not, their mouths drawn together like magnets. But this kiss was different—patient, deep, and deliberate, lusts tempered by affection.

It was still too soon when they broke apart, shifting onto their sides, facing each other on the narrow, twin bed. Their fingers were laced together between them as they caught their breath and gradually calmed.

For a long moment, there was just the sound of their quiet breathing and the occasional car rumbling by outside.

Haru was the first to break the silence, smiling with his eyes, his cheeks still stained pink. "…Wanna take a cold shower with me?"

Rin chuckled ruefully. "Yup."

-x-

The water Haru picked was ice-fucking-cold, but it did the job. Rin stood with his hands braced against the wall of the small shower, in his leg skins, the icy water running in rivulets down his back and raising gooseflesh on every centimeter of exposed skin. Haru was behind him, facing the opposite direction and taking the brunt of the spray.

"Good?" Haru asked.

"Haru, I'm going numb over here," he said, his teeth chattering.

The faucet squeaked as Haru cranked it off and Rin immediately felt ten degrees warmer in the room temperature air. He snapped the shower curtain aside, grabbing towels for both of them off the rack. Rin scrubbed dry quickly, climbing out of the tub as soon as he could feel his legs enough to move them. The bathroom was peach-colored marble tile, the vanity in dark green. It was tight quarters for the two of them trying to move around at the same time.

Rin headed out into the entryway, noting the time on the bedside clock as he opened his suitcase for a change of clothes. "When do you need to get to bed?"

"By nine would be good," Haru said, coming out with the towel draping his shoulders. He grabbed a few things from his suitcase and went back into the bathroom, stepping behind the frosted glass door but not bothering to close it.

Rin slipped into a tank top and changed into a dry pair of leg skins. "How far away's the beach?"

"Like five kilometers. By bus it's a half hour. Ozawa-senpai and Konishi rented bicycles yesterday—they said that was faster."

"Hm." Seeing that it was just shy of 8pm, the commute didn't seem worth it. _Maybe tomorrow._

Haru came out in a fresh pair of jammers, pulling on a T-shirt that was different shades of teal and blue with an AdO Arena logo in white. "Wanna check out the roof? The pool will be crowded but the view's not bad."

Rin smiled. "Yeah, OK." He grabbed a pair of pants from his suitcase.

-x-

The rooftop terrace went three-quarters of the way around the building with lounge chairs and greenery in planters on dark wood decking. There was a mezzanine above for the small pool—which was stuffed with people like Haru said. The sky was scattered with clouds, bringing the temperature down a little; the breeze pleasant. Rin was comfortable in his tank top, pants, and sandals. Haru had put on shorts over his jammers. They were higher than most of the surrounding buildings, with an unobstructed view of _La Sagrada Fam_ _í_ _lia_ to the southwest and the _Torre Agbar_ more directly south. The Mediterranean was a thin strip of darker blue on the horizon to the southeast, just above the sea of buildings spread out in between.

It was mostly athletes hanging out, chatting, and flirting, but there were a few families with kids, too. Rin and Haru claimed a spot against the glass safety wall where they could look out over the city, the wind rippling across their clothes and drying their hair. Holding hands wasn't enough, though, so Rin moved, circling his arms around Haru from behind and pressing his face into Haru's hair. He felt his own heart beat and Haru's slow exhale, Haru leaning back into the embrace, his hands coming to rest lightly on Rin's forearms.

Despite the low rumble of conversation all around them, punctuated by the occasional child's squeal and tiny feet slapping against the wooden deck, Rin felt a deep sense of quiet. He was steeped in the calm that radiated from Haru, his heart and mind at ease, and his thoughts flowed without agitation or anxiety or ambition.

Rin sighed into Haru's hair, closing his eyes. _I thought love was something that made you do crazy, stupid things. That made you be ridiculous and reckless and made you lose yourself in the process…_ His lips pursed in amusement— _and here I am in Barcelona_. It _was_ that…but love was also this steadiness, this _I will always be there_ promise. This… _holding each other in the storms and in the difficulty, pursuing each other when one of us can't see the way forward_. Rin's arms tightened as he thought of the way Haru came to find him at regionals in high school, when getting cut from the relay team made him want to give up on everything. …Or the time Haru massaged his sore back, asking about his dream. It wasn't one sided either, like when he took Haru to Australia, the way he chased Haru the night they got their itineraries…like cuddling in the shower at the NTC when Haru was upset about the water, and napping together when Haru was struggling in Norway. _Some dreams…are only possible together._

Sex was just one part of the whole, same with the warm, melty feeling—the thrill he got inside, being together. _Just expressions of the deeper things happening between us…and I want it all, Haru._ _What we have…where we're going together—this is what's precious, what's worth protecting and sacrificing for. And you're right—it's_ not _fragile. Neither is the dream we have together._ _I've been wrong about that._ It wasn't going to break just because someone said the wrong thing or made a mistake or flubbed a race. _We've already done those things. We've screwed up, hurt each other, had to apologize…and here we are._

Rin relaxed against Haru, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. He still didn't understand his dad's decision—maybe he never would. But making this choice, coming to this realization for _himself_ , was fulfilling…and liberating.

One of Haru's hands tangled gently into his hair and Rin drew back just enough to meet the blue eyes that searched his face… He felt _full_. There were so many emotions and thoughts inside him that he couldn't get anything out into actual words. But Haru's gaze softened like he understood it anyway, his fingertips tracing Rin's jaw and coaxing…

Their lips met and it was slow and tender, passionate but not with the urgency of lust. As the kiss went on, all of the feelings, realizations, and yearnings inside Rin coalesced into perfect words that he'd never before uttered in his life. _I love you. …I think I've loved you for a really long time._

The breeze brushed against them, gently stirring their hair and clothing. They stayed there for a while longer, their kisses separated by comfortable silences while they watched the city around them and the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon.

Eventually, Haru looked back at him with warm eyes. "Rin, wanna go to bed?"

The air left Rin's lungs in a drawn-out exhale. "…You're being literal."

Haru gave him a look with a shrug like, _I usually am_.

Rin smiled, hugging Haru tighter, pressing a kiss to Haru's cheek. "What if I got confused?"

"If it was the other, I'd just ask if you wanted to have sex."

Rin snorted. "So romantic, Haru." He grinned. They left the rail with Rin's arm draped across Haru's shoulders as they headed back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Club Natació Sant Andreu](http://www.cnsantandreu.com/qui-som/)
> 
> [The glass-walled warm up pool](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/e/1/e13914d1.jpg) XD


	16. Barcelona free, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/16/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).

Haru set the alarm on the bedside clock while he waited for Rin to come to bed.  It wasn’t dark out yet, so he’d drawn the curtains and turned on the lamp.  The soft glow bathed the room in golden hues.  His phone was dark—off—on the nightstand.  Coach Akagi or Captain Ikehara could contact him if needed, but he didn’t want to share these moments with anyone else. 

Next to his phone, gleaming in the lamp light, was Rin’s gold medal in the 100m free from Canet.  Haru picked it up, running his thumb over the etchings and insignia, the metal warming in his grasp.

 _Medals aren’t all I care about.  I want us, too._   Rin’s voice echoed in his head, a lump forming in Haru’s throat. 

Those weren’t just words—the proof was right here in his hand.  Even though he’d done it first, giving Rin the Barcelona gold he’d won, Haru knew it wasn’t lightly that Rin reciprocated…or admitted that he couldn’t do it on his own.  Rin was ambitious, driven, focused.  He never asked for help, even when he needed it.  Haru could count on one hand the number of times Rin had let him in like that—those rare, precious moments when Rin had been open and vulnerable about his dream.  Like in Sydney, when Rin shared for the first time about hitting a wall in his training…and confessed his admiration.  Or at the Olympic trials when Haru pushed it so hard in the fifty free Rin got worried.  He still remembered how the world seemed to stop for a second as Rin embraced him in the water and whispered those soft, guileless words, _You know I can’t lose you, right?_

Haru closed his hand around the Canet gold.  Whatever had been bothering Rin in the beginning—that look in his eyes like he’d been holding back and fighting with himself—it was gone.  _The way you’re looking at me now_ …it filled Haru with feelings so strong he was almost afraid of them.  He didn’t think it was possible to fall _more_ in love with someone…  But he was, moment by moment.  _Water and swimming were my life, but now…_  

Haru set the medal down when Rin came out of the bathroom.  Rin was wearing his usual tank top and sleep pants, his expression warming as his eyes traced the shark T-shirt and boxer briefs Haru wore.  He stretched his arms over his head and yawned, Haru watching as he rounded the side of the far bed. 

“These aren’t bolted down, right?” Rin asked.

“Don’t think so.”

With a little shove, they got the beds flush together.  Rin pulled the covers back and climbed between the sheets.

“Alarm’s set for six-fifteen.  That’s OK with you?”  Haru pushed the blankets down on his side.

“You know me, I’m usually up with the sunrise anyways.”  Rin fluffed his pillow, apparently finding it suitable because he dragged the thing with him as he scooted towards the middle of the bed.

Haru flicked the light off and met Rin there.  They arranged themselves in a comfortable tangle of limbs, facing each other.  There was just enough light seeping in from the window to see by, the sunset gilding Rin’s garnet hair and the soft look in his eyes.  Haru wished he could freeze these moments in time or write them on his heart—something to make them last forever.  The drawings in his sketchbook and even his memories failed to capture what it was like—being with the one he loved like this.  It was staggering and overwhelming, seeing himself reflected in Rin’s unguarded gaze, and he didn’t want to go to sleep.  It seemed like a waste of precious time.

“Rin?”  Haru brushed errant strands of hair from Rin’s face with his fingertips.  He laid his palm against the curve of Rin’s cheek, his thumb poised at the swell of Rin’s lower lip.

“Hmm?”  Rin smiled, kissing the tip of his thumb.

 _I love you._ Haru let his eyes say what he wasn’t brave enough to voice just yet.  “Thanks for…making this happen.”  _Maybe…when I say it you won’t freak out…  Maybe you’ll be ready to hear it._

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin reached up, covering Haru’s hand with his own.  “Like I could’ve stayed away, dummy.”

Haru relaxed, leaning in…  Their lips met gently in the dark, arms twining around each other until they were even more tangled than before.

They stopped before things got too heated, breathing the same moist air when they parted, sharing the same pillow.

“‘Night, Haru,’” Rin said, yawning and tightening the arm he’d tucked around Haru’s shoulders.

“‘Night, Rin.”  Haru closed his eyes, smiling to himself and snuggling in…

* * *

Sunday, June 12th, 2016

* * *

Haru woke up once during the night to use the restroom.  It was his own fault for drinking nearly ten water bottles earlier in the day while waiting for Rin to arrive.  Even with the competition, there just hadn’t been enough to do.  The pale blue numerals on the bedside clock provided the only light in the room—it was after 2am.  Haru was on his back, Rin’s arm lying across his torso, up under his T-shirt.  Rin’s leg was trapping his knees—as grabby as usual when they napped together.

Haru didn’t move much as first, knowing how difficult it had been for Rin to sleep lately.  But he shifted enough so he could see Rin’s face, the weeks of fatigue evidenced by the darker skin beneath Rin’s eyes.  Rin’s lips were parted as he breathed, his expression slack and peaceful, strands of ruby hair falling across his brow.

“I love you,” Haru whispered in the quiet, as if he could work up to saying it the same way practice and training got him to one breath and then none in the fifty meter free.  Usually he just said whatever he was thinking, but this wasn’t as easy.  He hoped Rin had changed his mind about falling in love.  Certainly what he’d said yesterday along the _Carrer de Dubl_ _ín_ and the medal on Haru’s nightstand were evidences of that.  But weird things triggered Rin sometimes and Haru didn’t want a confession like this to be one of them.

He carefully pushed back the covers, easing out from beneath Rin’s leg as he sat up.

“Nn, Haru…”  Rin made a noise of irritation and protest, his fingers scraping Haru’s side.

Haru leaned down, kissing Rin’s cheek.  “I’m coming back,” he said and slipped from the bed.

When he returned, trying to climb between the sheets as quietly as possible, Rin’s arm hooked around his torso and pulled him down to the mattress.  Haru’s lungs emptied in a rush.  He found himself on his side with Rin behind him, their bodies fitted together from their shoulders down to their ankles.  Rin’s hand slipped beneath his T-shirt again, warm against his skin.

“Stay in bed with me,” Rin murmured, his breath stirring the tiny hairs on the back of Haru’s neck.

Haru tucked his arm over Rin’s, under his shirt, sinking into the sheets and their embrace.  “I only sleep free, Rin.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin’s teeth nipped lightly at Haru’s skin, at the juncture of his neck and shoulder.  Rin pulled him closer, squeezing briefly…then the hold relaxed as Rin fell back asleep.

 _Well now I_ can’t _sleep…_   Haru smiled, listening to the sounds of Rin soft, shallow breaths, feeling his own slightly elevated heartrate.  He curled his fingers into Rin’s.

-x-

Rin was awake the next time Haru opened his eyes—he was sitting up in bed and leaning against the wall, tablet in hand.  Daylight filtered in around the edges of the curtains, the room grayish but not dark.  The tablet’s glow illuminated Rin’s face and hair…his tank top was slightly twisted around his torso.

Haru shifted beneath the blankets, rubbing his eyes.

“You’re up early,” Rin said, glancing aside with a smile.  “Your alarm didn’t even go off yet.”  He returned to whatever he was looking at on his tablet.

 _I’m mostly awake._ Haru blinked slowly, considering… 

He rolled under the covers, insinuating himself into Rin’s lap with his arms wrapped around Rin’s hips and his chin resting against Rin’s abs.  Rin’s breath hitched; Haru felt the muscles in Rin’s stomach contract briefly.

Rin snorted and set the tablet aside, moving his knees so that Haru could settle more comfortably in between.  “Like a cat.”

 _Yeah, pet me_.  Haru tightened his arms, pushing his face against Rin’s stomach for emphasis.

Rin made a sound like he was rolling his eyes, but his hands fell to Haru’s head, carding through his hair.

Haru closed his eyes, reveling in the pleasure of Rin’s touch, a contented hum emanating from deep in his throat.  _I don’t want to swim today.  Let’s just stay in bed._   Odd impulses ran through him—maybe because Rin called him catlike—but he really wanted to nip at the thin fabric of Rin’s tank top and bury his face in the skin underneath.

“Mm, Haru…”  Rin’s voice was hushed, a little strained.

“Hm?”  He lifted his head, gazing up at Rin from below.  _This is a nice view._   …Especially with the blush darkening Rin’s cheeks and the hint of desire in his eyes.

Rin’s fingers continued to run slow caresses through his hair.  “You have tomorrow off, right?”

Haru blinked.  “Yeah.”  _But aren’t you leaving then?_

“I don’t have to leave until the afternoon.  Wanna go to that aquarium in the morning?”

“Really?”  Haru sat up, shifting onto his knees.  Rin’s arms circled his shoulders. 

“Yeah, really.”  Rin smiled, his eyes dancing with amusement as he leaned forward, capturing Haru’s lips for a brief kiss.  “We can go right when they open at 10.  We’d have a few hours.”

 _Is it my birthday?_   “ _Rin_ —”  Haru engulfed Rin in a tight hug.

“…I’ll take that as a yes,” Rin said, chuckling, his hands running lightly over the muscles in Haru’s back.

 _Yes._   Haru slipped his hands into Rin’s hair, angling for Rin’s mouth…  Their lips melted together—gentle at first.  One brief press…then another…

Then a third, firmer kiss…  Haru’s heart beat a little faster—

He leaned in, Rin meeting him as the embrace heated.  Fingertips dug into his back and he sighed against Rin’s lips.  Haru curled his fingers into the soft strands of Rin’s hair, savoring the throaty noise Rin made and the way Rin grasped his T-shirt, pulling it away from his skin.

Haru tilted his head more, playing his tongue across Rin’s lower lip…and groaned quietly when Rin let him in, their tongues sliding together—  It was like _water_.  Like Rin diving into the lane beside him, catching up and the two of them racing even though no one was timing.  It was _like_ that rush but so much better.  _I could kiss you like this all day and not get tired of it._

The kiss broke when Rin got a hand between them and pushed, Haru spilling onto his back on the bed.  Rin leaned over him with darkened eyes and a smirk…  Haru sucked air when a hand hooked behind his left knee, Rin pinning his leg down against the sheets with a hip.  His breaths thickened as Rin settled over him, elbows braced to either side of his head, their faces close but not kissing.  Haru gripped the hem of Rin’s tank top, his knuckles brushing Rin’s skin.

Rin ducked his head, his lips feathering kisses along the left side of Haru’s jaw.  “How many times are you going to breathe in the fifty today, Haru?”

Haru blinked at the ceiling, light from the window streaking across the expanse of white.  “…What?”

Rin’s laughter rumbled against his skin.  “I’m pretty sure you heard me.  …Or should I stop distracting you?”

“No,” Haru whispered, trying to get his jumbled thoughts together despite the maddening sensations Rin was waking in his body.  “Um…  Once, I guess.”

“Really?”  Rin’s mouth slipped below his jaw line, warm and almost ticklish.  Haru twitched, his eyes falling closed.  He let go of fabric, clutching Rin’s waist instead, his thumbs pressing against Rin’s hip bone. 

“You’re not gonna show me what it’s like, when you do it without breathing?”  There was subtext behind the tease in Rin’s voice; Haru caught on, his head clearing a little.

He shifted beneath Rin, drawing away from Rin’s lips.  “Wouldn’t you be jealous if I did that?”

Rin lifted his head, their gazes meeting.  Strands of unruly hair fell to either side of Rin’s face.  “Yeah.”  Rin was already jealous—Haru could read it clearly in his eyes.  “But give me something to aim for.”

“…OK.”  Haru relented, softening his hold on Rin’s hips.  “But just one time.  Probably in the heats.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin rolled his eyes.  “Picking the race that doesn’t earn a medal.”

Haru frowned.  “It’s hard to get excited in the finals, when you’re not swimming with me.”  _In the heats, it’s rare we’re in the same one, anyways._

“Hmm?”  Rin arched a brow.  “That didn’t stop you yesterday.”

_That was different.  I was swimming for you, that time…_

Rin leaned down, stealing his breath briefly.  “You can do it again, right?  I’m not saying overdo it.”  Their lips met a second time…and again.  “But I don’t usually get to watch you swim like this.  Without my own shit getting in the way.”  The fourth kiss was longer, Rin lingering against his lips.  “So I want you to show me a sight I’ve never seen before.  After that, show me another one.  And another…”

_Rin…_

Rin kissed him harder the fifth time, nudging Haru’s lips apart with his tongue.  The kiss was deep—Haru welcoming the intrusion and Rin’s fingers coiling into his hair.

He skimmed his hands up Rin’s sides, slowly, raking with his fingertips and making Rin’s tank top ride up—  The muffled noise Rin made was a lapse of concentration.  Haru caged Rin in his arms in the same moment, rolling them and putting Rin underneath.  The kiss broke in the process, both of them catching their breath.

“So demanding,” Haru said, pinning Rin’s hands to the bed with his own.  “You know I only swim free.”

Rin’s eyes glittered.  He smiled, his hair fanned out against the sheets.  “Then you’re gonna let the others beat you?  I thought no one was faster than you in the water, Haru.  Not even me.”

Haru narrowed his eyes.  “You’re noisy, Rin.”

Rin chuckled, Haru feeling it everywhere their bodies were pressed together.  “What are you gonna do about it?”

Haru’s gaze flicked to Rin’s lips.  “I have a few ideas…”  He covered Rin’s mouth with his own, his tongue dipping inside and sliding against Rin’s.  Rin sighed in his throat, his fingers curling tightly into Haru’s…

Then the alarm went off and _someone_ with red hair chucked a pillow at it—

-x-

After breakfast with their teammates, they headed out to the curb to meet the shuttle.  The morning was mild but humid, cloudier today than yesterday.  Haru carried his gear bag, he and Rin clad in matching red and white Team Japan T-shirts with their warmup pants.  While they waited with scores of other athletes crowding the sidewalk, Rin draped an arm across Haru’s shoulders.

“Haru.”

Haru glanced over, noting the eager look in Rin’s eyes.  “Hm?”

“Let’s hit the beach tonight, after you’re done.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  They hadn’t been to a beach together in a while—at least, not when it was warm enough to swim in the ocean.  _Rin and water…_   “OK.”

Rin’s smile turned sly.  “It means you have to make the A-finals.  If you have to stay for the B-finals, it’ll be too late to go.”

“I’ll _make_ the A-finals,” Haru said.  _Like there’s any question about that._

“Just making sure, Haru—” Rin grinned, lowering his voice, “—that you know what’s on the line tonight.”  His gaze drifted to Haru’s mouth.

Haru’s heart sped up, a pleasant shiver running through him.  _Beach aside, I’m not competing tomorrow and neither are you._   He was trying not to think about it, because a distraction that big would have him screwing up his races just like yesterday.  Statements about ‘more’ were vague, but if last night and this morning were any indication…  Haru swallowed, his face heating.  _I want you and I love you._   It was a volatile combination and never something he thought Rin would be OK with, this side of Rio. 

But the look in Rin’s eyes was the same as yesterday—undivided, unguarded, affectionate…  He wasn’t being emotional, running ahead of the rest of him like he did sometimes.  This wasn’t about them being separated and the giddy high of being reunited—nothing so temporary and fleeting.  Instead, Haru knew—  _This is the start of our ‘someday.’_

He turned, hugging Rin on impulse, feeling Rin go still with surprise.  “I’ll make the A-finals,” he murmured. 

Rin matched his arms around Haru’s shoulders, squeezing.  “I know you will,” he said, his voice hushed.

-x-

Haru left Rin in the stands with Coach Akagi while he went to warm up.  Stripped down to his Team Japan jammers, with his swim cap on and goggles perched on his forehead, he met Captain Ikehara, Konishi, and Ozawa by the start blocks of the main pool.  The lanes were already crowded, officials in powder blue polo shirts and white pants seeing to the final preparations, poolside.

“Everyone good to go?” Ikehara asked, surveying them briefly, his eyes warm with a captain’s pride and confidence.

Konishi and Ozawa answered with hai’s in chorus.  Haru nodded.

Ikehara’s gaze landed on him.  “Nanase-kun, you wanna lead off today?”

 _Nn_.  Ikehara was only asking because he screwed up circle swimming during warm ups yesterday and they collided during a turn.  _I’m not distracted like I was then._   “I’ll do it,” he said.

The captain smiled.  “Ozawa-san, Konishi-san, you’ll be next.  I’ll follow.”

Haru pulled his goggles down over his eyes as he stepped onto the block on lane three.  He waited for a big enough gap to accommodate them, staring down at the churning water… 

He felt Rin’s gaze and looked up—  Their eyes met across the pool, Rin smiling in that cocksure way Haru was used to seeing.  Haru’s breath stuck in his throat, just for a second.  After weeks of catching himself looking for Rin in the pool, in the stands, during practices and meals…the simple pleasure of being together was nothing he’d take for granted.  Haru smiled and finally turned his attention back to the lane.

-x-

He was limber and ready after his time in the water, even though it didn’t feel right—Rin being here but not in the pool with him.  Haru headed for their cluster of pool chairs on the promenade while Konishi, Ikehara, and Ozawa moved to the warm up pool and waiting area, ahead of their races.  The first event of the morning, the men’s 1500m free, was getting underway in the main pool.  Haru set his cap and goggles aside, halfway through toweling off when he heard Rin’s footsteps.  He turned just as arms circled his shoulders from behind.

“Rin?”

“Nn…”  Rin’s face was pressed into his damp hair.

Haru relaxed.  “You’re jealous already.”

“ _Nn_ …”  Rin’s arms tightened.  “I should be out there with you.  We haven’t even gotten to swim together since…”

“The Japan Open.”  Haru twisted in Rin’s embrace, slipping his arms around Rin’s hips.  Rin had an epic frown on his face, almost a pout.  Haru leaned in, kissing one corner of Rin’s rigid lips.  “Get in the pool with me.”

“Haru…”

“Like anyone would notice.”  There were swimmers everywhere.  It wasn’t like anyone was checking.  “…Did Coach Akagi say you couldn’t?”

“No,” Rin said.

Haru slipped a hand under the hem of Rin’s T-shirt, hooking his thumb in the waistband of Rin’s warmup pants.  “I know you’re dressed for it…”

Rin gently swatted his hand away, pulling back.  With a gleam in his eyes, he stripped down to his leg skins, tossing the balled-up T-shirt in Haru’s face.  “I’ll need to borrow—”

Haru was already reaching into his gear bag for another set of goggles and one of his spare caps.  “Here.”

The warm up pool seemed brighter today and even though it was crowded, it _felt_ more open and free.  Haru watched, eager, as Rin took the block ahead of him, snapping the strap of his goggles before crouching for the start.  He was breathless as Rin dove, his heart pounding in his chest as Rin came up swimming fly.  _I missed this so much_.

Haru waited beside the block, letting other swimmers go between them.  Rin neared the opposite side of the 25m pool, making the open turn to come back.  At the time he knew by heart, Haru climbed onto the block, watching Rin approach the wall.  He set his feet with his goggles in place, bending for the relay start, his eyes locked on Rin’s last few strokes—

Rin hit and he dove, seeing Rin beneath him—their gazes meeting—before Haru slipped into the cool water.  He dolphin-kicked and surfaced swimming free, his whole body singing as he sailed across the surface of the pool.  At the opposite end, he flip-turned, heading back towards the start…and Rin was waiting—grinning—on the block.  It was like no one else was there but the two of them, swimming together in a springtime pool of cherry blossoms…

Haru hit the wall and Rin dove over top—  Their exchanges this way were getting better, too.  Switching it up just felt natural now.

Haru hoisted himself out of the pool, getting back into position…

They only did a few rounds, since Haru tiring before his race wouldn’t be a good idea.  _We might need a swimming rule too—not just the sex one_.  He swam his last twenty-five back to the start end of the pool, where Rin was catching his breath with a broad smile, his arms draped over the lane line.

Haru swam to Rin rather than the wall, popping up next to him and snaking an arm around Rin’s waist underwater for the briefest hug.  They climbed out before they got in anyone else’s way, returning to the pool chairs to dry off.

The heats were proceeding in the main pool—the announcements going on almost constantly over the speakers.  Haru knew they needed to get back to cheer on their teammates; if they messed around too long it would get noticed.  But Rin was hugging him before he could even pick up his towel, their bodies still wet from the pool, their skin warm from the exertion and the sun.  Haru caved easily.  A couple more minutes…and one kiss…  No one would miss them that long.

-x-

The heats for the men’s 50m free were midmorning, following the women’s 100m breaststroke.  Haru was in the 10th heat—of 10—in the fourth lane.  After the swimmers for the 9th heat dove, he was in line with his competitors, walking the length of the pool to start on the turn side.  He had to walk by Rin to get there—the two of them sharing a charged glance as he passed.

A couple of swimmers in the 9th heat put up times in the low 22’s.  Haru could beat that on one breath, like he’d done at the Japan Open when he’d gotten 21.66 against the Australians and a new national record.  But Rin wanted to see no breaths at all.  _As promised, Rin.  You can aim for me._

At the whistle, he climbed onto the block with his cap and goggles ready.  He gave Rin one last saucy look— _you’re watching, right?—_ before setting his feet and clutching the rough surface of the block for the start.  He drew slow, calming breaths…

“ _Take your marks._ ”

The last breath he took was during the dive.  Haru entered the water with his fingertips, sliding through the opening he’d made and sinking into the water’s embrace.  His dolphin kicks were smooth, propelling him through the first fifteen meters.  He surfaced into his stroke, keeping his head down and sprinting all-out with rapid pulls.  The water surrounded him but in his mind, Rin was behind him—the grinning shark closing in on his prey…and the dolphin could only let himself be caught at the wall.  The end was nearing—Haru’s lungs were burning—and he flew the last few meters, stretching out for the finish—

The wall was solid beneath his hand and Haru popped up, drawing rapid breaths to impoverished lungs, his muscles screaming.  The cheering was deafening, the announcer saying something in rapid Spanish over the speakers.  Haru swiveled in the water, clinging to the side of the pool with one hand.  He looked for Rin first—Rin who was on his feet, his expression something between shock and elation—before he glanced at the board.  _Oh, that’s why.  21.59._   He ducked under the lane line, swimming for the side of the pool.  _Rin’s gonna kick my ass for that._

Haru climbed out, stripping off his cap and goggles as he headed for the stands.  Rin was climbing down from his seat, his expression darkening.  Haru braced himself for the usual tackle—

He _wasn’t_ expecting the kiss full-on the lips that came first—in front of God and everyone—his face captured between Rin’s hands, before the tight hug that followed. 

“Haru, _fuck_ ,” Rin said, the whisper harsh with a mixture of anger and awe.  “When did you get to be so amazing?”

Haru settled his arms around Rin’s waist, his damp skin wetting Rin’s T-shirt.  “I can tell you if you want to know.”

Rin snorted and Haru knew it sounded arrogant, but there was an actual moment…

Rin drew back, his face messy with water and his scowl.  “Yeah, tell me.”

“When I decided I wanted to swim fast so I could swim with you.”  _That was when I started trying for real._

Rin’s eyes widened at first…then gleamed, his whole face crumpling.  He collapsed against Haru, shaking a little, warm droplets falling on Haru’s neck.

Haru squeezed Rin gently, holding him upright.  _I knew that would make you—_

“Haru, I love you.”

Haru’s eyes blew wide with shock.  His mouth went dry and he wasn’t breathing.  And his heart—he didn’t know what it was doing in his chest—fluttering, skipping, racing…  “Rin, did you just…?”  _Did I imagine you just said that?_

“Don’t make me say it again, you idiot!”  Rin was pulling away, his face as red as his hair.

Haru blinked, his eyes welling with liquid—overwhelmed and falling fast.  He curled a hand around the back of Rin’s neck, kissing him back, and then hugged Rin so tightly that he felt the air rush from Rin’s lungs.  His heart was pounding as he set his lips against Rin’s ear.  “I love you, too.”

Rin drew back sharply, his face blank and eyes glistening…  One second later, mirrored trails of tears were running for his chin—

The sharp pulse of the whistle startled them both, Haru finally realizing that some of the cheering and yelling nearby was aimed at them.  They were making a scene _and_ blocking the view.  He grabbed Rin’s wrist and pulled, clearing the pool deck rapidly and heading for the promenade while the heats for the women’s 200m backstroke started.

They crossed the concrete, approaching the cluster of chairs beneath the white umbrella with the Japanese flag. 

Rin tore his hand free, going on ahead and running a hand roughly through his hair.  “ _Fuck_ —”

Haru slowed his steps, following.  He belatedly realized he still clutched his cap and goggles in his right hand.  They were sort of alone—as alone as they could be in the middle of all the athletes and spectators milling about.  He tried to gauge Rin’s reaction…

Rin was obviously upset, using the heels of his hands to staunch the flow of tears from his eyes, his limbs rigid.  “We were _supposed_ to do this at the beach—”

 _Oh._   Haru relaxed.  _You had it planned out…  Of course you did._

“—not fucking _here_ , at the pool of all places, between heats at a stupid competition!”

Haru smiled to himself, melting inside.  _You get upset about the cutest things, Rin.  You wanted it to be romantic, memorable…_   “You don’t think it’s fitting, Rin?  For us.”

“Nn.”  Rin kicked the pavement with the toe of his shoe, shoving his hands into the pockets of his warmup pants.

“We first met at a tournament…”  Haru set his things down on one of the pool chairs.  “The first time you hugged me was after a race.  We first kissed—when we were kids—in the locker room.”

Rin glanced over, almost glaring, the look like, _how the fuck do you remember that?_

“Everything since then started from swimming.”  _We fell in love in the midst of training, timing, competing, winning and losing…_   Haru lifted his brows, water from his hair still dripping onto his skin.  “You think that’s not…romantic?”

The blush in Rin’s cheeks darkened, though his shoulders loosened a bit.  “Nn…  Maybe.”

Haru smiled.  “Want me to pretend you didn’t say it?  We can still do it at the beach later, like you wanted.” 

Rin’s glare softened, though his lips pursed.  He was still upset.

“Rin.”  Haru opened his arms.  “Come here.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting Haru’s eyes as he slowly walked over…

Haru wrapped Rin in his arms, _so_ full…so happy…  He tightened the embrace, running the fingers of one hand through Rin’s hair.  “I love you,” he whispered.  Finally saying the words out loud—and Rin not pushing him away—was like a dream he didn’t ever want to wake from.

Rin took a shuddering breath against him, his voice breaking.  “Haru—”

The kiss that followed tasted like pool water and salty tears…and felt like _sakura_ trees blossoming in spring.  The moment was _perfect_. 

_I’ll never forget…the first time you blurted out you loved me was poolside in Barcelona after a no-breath fifty free._

-x-

Captain Ikehara found them later, the two of them sitting side-by-side on one of the lounge chairs, holding hands.  Rin was finally calming down, though Haru knew he was still embarrassed about the whole thing—emotional outburst and all.  The evidence was plain in reddened cheeks.

Ikehara was in his warmup pants and a T-shirt, his hair wet from the pool.  He eyed them briefly.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun…you guys get sorted?  Whatever that drama was.”

“Yes,” Haru said.

“No,” Rin muttered.

The captain didn’t miss a beat.  “Good.  Sounds normal.”  He lifted his brows.  “Nanase-kun, don’t be late for check in.”

“Hai.”  Haru got up, letting go of Rin’s hand.

Ikehara turned to go.

“Captain.”  Haru took a step forward.  “Can I ask you something?  A personal question?”

“Haru.”  Rin flashed him a glare.  _Don’t you fucking dare_ , Haru read.

He tossed back a smirk.  _Stop me._

“Well, you can ask…” Ikehara said, running one hand through his black hair, the copper highlights glinting in the sunlight.

“Do you remember the first time you told your wife you loved her?”

The captain blinked thoughtfully.

From the corner of Haru’s eyes, he saw Rin’s face—Rin was blushing hard, furious, his hands balled into fists in his lap.

“We’ve been together since our second year of college, so you’re talking…almost ten years ago,” Ikehara said.  He shrugged.  “No idea.  Probably at a festival or something, but I’m guessing.”  The captain’s expression turned fond.  “I more remember when she cornered me outside the cafeteria and asked me out.  Because that was adorable and awkward.  I still tease her about that.”

Haru cocked a brow, glancing at Rin.  _See?  Our way was good._

The look on Rin’s face was white-hot murder.

Ikehara cleared his throat.  “Nanase-kun.  Check in.”

“Hai.”  Haru snatched up his cap and goggles, escaping before Rin could let him have it…

-x-

Haru’s final race of the morning was the 200m free.  It was breezy, the clouds overhead trapping the heat and humidity.  The pool was mostly sheltered from the wind, though a section in the middle rippled with tiny waves.  Haru was on the block, facing lane four, in the 7th of 8 heats.  But he wasn’t thinking about the water as the whistle pulsed.

Rin was in the stands next to Captain Ikehara, reclining with an easy smile on his face.  Which either meant Rin had recovered from the embarrassment… _or he’s a shark lying in wait for his prey and I’m gonna get it later…_

Haru’s heart was already beating fast when he grasped the block at his feet, turning his attention to the lane in front of him.  He was still recovering from Rin’s accidental confession, smiling to himself as he tensed for the start.  _I guess I can show you something good, Rin.  Because I want to_.

At the buzzer, he dove, slipping into the cool water…and the water felt good, but not as good as Rin’s arms.  He paced himself for the first fifty and then didn’t bother.  He wanted to _fly_ …  The only part missing was Rin’s presence in the lane next to him.  Haru’s competitors fell away during the second lap and never caught up again.  At the end of 200m, he hit the wall seconds ahead of the next fastest swimmer and he didn’t even feel tired.  With the way he was breathing, he probably _was_ …but his body was humming, the water felt like silk, and the rush of winning paled to the thrill of their love.

His time was a new personal best—1:45.50.  Haru climbed out of the pool amidst the cheering and pulled off his gap and goggles with one hand.  He shook the water from his hair, glancing at the stands…  It was electric—the way their eyes met.  Haru didn’t trust himself to go over there and not make a scene again.  Instead, he went inside the building and rinsed off in the shower.

Rin was waiting in the hallway when he came out, leaning against the wall in his T-shirt and warmup pants, his hands tucked into his pockets.  The look Haru got was mild with a little smile and a flick of eyes that made him all sorts of warm. 

Haru lowered his voice.  “You could’ve come inside.”  The locker room wasn’t very private, but the shower stalls had doors that went all the way to the floor…

Rin chuckled, straightening from the wall.  “There are bad ideas…and then there are _bad ideas_ , Haru.”  He had a towel with him that he tossed in Haru’s face. 

“Nn.”  Haru dried off, following Rin outside into the sunbreaks on the promenade.

“Another course record.”

“Hm?  Oh.”  Haru settled the towel around his neck.

“You don’t care.”

Haru shook his head.  “It’s just a piece of paper.  That’s not what I was swimming for.”

Rin’s smile broadened as they walked together.  “You’re feeling good?”

Haru met his gaze, askance.  “Really good.”

“Because of us?”  Rin reached for his hand.

“Yeah.”  Haru laced their fingers together.

Rin’s eyes lit with happiness.  He looked away, a faint blush coloring his cheeks…

 _I’ve never been this happy in my entire life_.  Haru smiled as they joined their teammates for lunch.

-x-

By 6pm, at the end of the A-finals, Haru and his teammates had several new medals between them.  Both of Haru’s were gold.  Dinner was at the club, then they shuttled back to the hotel. 

“Just remember to text me tonight so I know you’re back,” Akagi said, as they headed in through the lobby.  “Especially if you’ll be drinking.”  He glanced at Ozawa.

The brunette pulled out her phone and took a memo.  “Drunk text coach later…”  She grinned.  “You got it.”

Konishi rolled her eyes. 

There was already a dozen or so athletes crowding the lobby bar, many of them still in their warmups.  It was loud.  Haru was glad when the elevator closed out the noise as they headed upstairs.  They waved to their teammates as they exited on floor three, their hands still clasped as they made their way down the hall to their room.

Haru broke free long enough to open the door.

“You said it’s five kilometers and thirty minutes by bus?” Rin asked, going in first.  He opened his suitcase, pulling out clothes.  He’d stripped down to his leg skins before Haru even closed the door.

“Yeah,” Haru said, moving past—eyeing Rin in the process—and setting his gear bag down on the desk. 

“You know…we could run it faster than that.”

“Nn.”  Haru turned, holding up his two gold medals for emphasis.  _I already did this for you today…_

Rin was smiling, already half-dressed and it wasn’t his running gear.  He wore a gray V-neck T-shirt and pulled on black pants over his leg skins.  “Hurry up and get changed,” he said, going into the bathroom.

 _You were teasing._ Haru drew the two Barcelona lanyards over his head, setting them on the nightstand next to Rin’s Canet gold.  Smiling, he yanked off his T-shirt and headed for his suitcase…

-x-

The bus dropped them off along the _Passeig Mar_ _ítim_ , in front of Barceloneta Beach.  They crossed the narrow street, Rin running ahead to the edge of the plaza that looked out over the sand.  Haru followed, the wind toying with his hair, blue T-shirt, and dark gray pants.  He savored the salty sea breeze, the swaying palm fronds, the turquoise Mediterranean…but Rin most of all.  Rin was leaning over the short stone wall that separated the plaza above from the beach below.  The wind was making his hair fly and he was grinning like a kid.  He looked so relaxed, carefree, and like _himself_ that Haru had to take a deep breath just to manage what he felt.  _I haven’t seen you look like this in years._

Rin turned, searching him out.  “Haru!  Why’re you all the way back there?”

_Because I love watching you like this._

“ _Tch_.”  Rin was grinning as he rolled his eyes.  “Come on.”  He grabbed Haru’s hand and they were running along the plaza wall until they got to the broad ramp that led down to the beach. 

Even with partly cloudy skies, the beach was packed with sunbathers and swimmers, the waves crashing rhythmically against the shore.  The deep strip of sand ended in a marina to the northeast with the sail-shaped W Barcelona hotel to the southwest.  Right off the beach, below the plaza, were little restaurants and cafés with awnings, beach umbrellas, and plenty of outdoor seating.

Rin slowed as they left the paved areas for the warm sand that immediately filled Haru’s sandals.  They strolled with their fingers interlaced, watching the waves and the kids playing in the surf.  Haru enjoyed the quiet, the peacefulness of just being with Rin without medals, uniforms, camera flashes, and interviews.  He didn’t let himself think about tomorrow, when they would have to say goodbye again.  The _only_ moment that mattered was this one; tomorrow seemed like a long ways away.

Eventually, they found a place to sit in the sand, close together with Rin’s arm draped around his shoulders.  Haru had conceded a while ago that his shoulders didn’t belong to him anymore—to the point where it felt odd when they were together and Rin wasn’t hanging off him at least a little.  Haru slipped his right arm around Rin’s waist, hooking his thumb into one of Rin’s beltloops—he was partial to Rin’s hips, anyways.

There was a family playing at the water’s edge, in front of them, the toddler encased in so many puffy flotation devices that she could hardly walk.  One parent was busily taking pictures while the other shepherded the child in the waves.

Rin leaned against him.  “Na, Haru…”

“Hmm?”  Haru squeezed Rin briefly and waited.  He was attuned to that soft mode of address, those times when Rin had something on his mind, something so weighty and important he was willing to set aside his usual bravado and be vulnerable.

“…Have you thought about what you want to do after Rio?”

 _After Rio…_   “Mm.”  Even the Olympics still seemed far away—just shy of two months.  “Sydney for Christmas.”

Rin chuckled.  “We’re doing that already.  I mean, like…”  He paused.  “You’re gonna keep swimming and working on your degree?”

“Yeah,” Haru said.  “I want to keep swimming with you, Rin.”  _Until I can’t anymore._

Rin glanced at him, his voice hushed.  “Haru…”

Haru met Rin’s solemn gaze.  “What about you?  Did you mean it?  That you might not go back to your club in Sydney?”

Rin’s arm tightened around Haru’s shoulders.  He tucked his head against Haru’s neck, once more looking out at the water.  “Yeah.  If things work out with Coach Fujino, I want to stay.  Continue my training at Koutei.”  He sighed.  “End game, though…  I don’t know what I want.  I mean, after Rio—Tokyo 2020 and hopefully at least one more after that, but…  When this dream is over, I don’t know what I’ll do then.”

Haru pressed a kiss to Rin’s forehead, wisps of garnet hair brushing his face.  “Maybe you’ll find a new dream.”

“…Maybe.”  Rin fell quiet.

At the water’s edge, there was a squeal as the toddler fell on her bottom and got splashed by a wave.  Instantly, both mothers rushed to scoop the girl up into their arms.

“…Do you ever think, like, what do I want it to look like, ten years from now?”

“No,” Haru said.

Rin glanced at him with raised brows.  “No?”

Haru shrugged beneath Rin’s arm.  “I never thought about the future, until you made me.”

“ _Tch_.  Haru.”

“Do you?”

Rin shook his head.  “But I can tell you what I don’t want…”  He looked away, a blush coloring his cheeks.  “Being alone, without you.”

 _Rin…_   Haru smiled, warm throughout.  “I want that too—being with you.”  _When we’re ordinary._   He lifted his hand to Rin’s hair, running his fingers gently through the soft strands. 

Rin relaxed against him, letting out a long breath.

The little family moved on, the toddler swinging happily between her parents’ hands.

“Did you like it?” Haru asked.  “Being captain of the team at Samezuka?”

“Eh…”  Rin’s lips pursed.  “I never would’ve picked that.”

“You were good at it, though.”

Rin sat up, drawing away a little, their gazes meeting.  “You think?”

Haru nodded.  “You still do it.  Slip into captain-mode sometimes.”  He smiled fondly at the memory.  “Would you ever want to?”

“Want to what?”

“Coach or something.”

Rin’s face crinkled in a frown.  “Not little kids like Makoto.  I wouldn’t be good at that.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that age.  High school and up.  Serious coaching.”  Haru smoothed bits of hair behind Rin’s ear before dropping his hand.  “Because you’re good at it.  You know what people need to meet their goals.  Like one breath in the fifty for me.”

One of Rin’s brows quirked with irritation.  “Yeah, well, now you’re _no_ breaths in the fifty…”

“I was just doing more of what I learned from you, Rin.”

Rin’s eyes widened, then shuttered as if he were trying to keep his emotions under control.  “Haru…thanks.  I’ll think about it.”  He pulled his arm back, looking away again.  “I guess I just wonder if something like that would be enough.”

“Enough…  Like you’d be bored?”

Rin shook his head, his gaze focused on the waves.

He didn’t say anything else and Haru watched him, trying to gauge and read…  _Did you plan on saving the world, Rin?  By being the best swimmer?_   Haru didn’t say it, because teasing Rin didn’t seem like a good idea, right now.  “I think…whatever your new dream is, whatever you decide you want to do…  It’ll be enough, just because it’s you.  You’re more than enough, Rin.  You’re like that to everyone who knows you.”  _Not just me.  Though it’s true I don’t want to share…_

Rin went utterly still next to him.

Haru blinked, not breathing as he watched Rin’s eyes fill with liquid and the tears spill down Rin’s cheeks…

 _What did I say?_ He leaned back, horrified.  “Rin…?”

Rin shook himself, hastily wiping at his face.  “Fuck!  Sorry, I don’t—  I don’t know what that was, I just…”  He rubbed his arm across his eyes.  “ _Fuck_.”

Haru looked on, his throat tight.  _I said you’re more than enough.  You wouldn’t react like that if you were really happy.  You’d only react like that…if you didn’t believe it._

Rin drew his knees up to his chest with one arm looped around them.  With his other hand, he tugged at his hair, like he was still trying to pull himself together.

 _I don’t get it.  You’re always charging head first and confident into everything.  You’re ecstatic when you win…and you’re crushed when you lose._ The pieces came together slowly—years of watching Rin succeed and fail, break and try again…  _I thought you were ambitious.  Driven, motivated, disciplined, focused…  Nothing wrong with any of those things._

 _…But somewhere, deep inside…  Are you doing these things because you need to?  Because, without doing, succeeding, winning...you feel like you’re_ not _enough?_

Haru’s heart ached with his thoughts.  _I wonder if you even realize it?  Why you’re pushing yourself so hard…_ His breath caught as it dawned on him…  _Is that why you didn’t want to fall in love with me?  …Why you’ve always been so careful about distractions?_ Warmth welled in Haru’s eyes.  _Admitting that you loved me…deciding that…wasn’t easy for you at all, was it?  All this time I was holding back telling you, because I thought you didn’t want me to love you…_

Rin sniffed hard and drew a deep breath.  He’d forced a smile, like he could laugh it away.  “Haru, you know you could just say, ‘I love you,’ like a normal person.  You don’t have to be sappy, like—”

Haru wrapped his arms around Rin, kissing a tear-dampened cheek.  “Rin, I love you.”

Rin shook against him and fell silent, his hands curled into fists as he hugged his knees.

… _when, maybe, this is what you needed to hear the most._   Haru closed his eyes, pressing his face into Rin’s hair. 

More of Rin’s tears fell, splashing against Haru’s arms.  Rin’s voice came out in a broken whisper, vulnerable and raw.  “…Tell me again.”

Haru tightened his arms.  “I love you.”  _I’ll keep telling you.  Forever._

-x-

…A while later, Rin squirmed a bit and Haru let go.  “Mm, Haru.  So clingy.”  He said it smiling—and it wasn’t faked or forced anymore. 

Haru settled back, relieved.  _Pretty sure that’s my line, Rin._

Rin’s eyes were happy as he leaned over…

The kiss was soft, lips meeting patiently, and if not for the wind pushing strands of Rin’s hair into the way, they could’ve stayed like that for a long time.  But Rin pulled away after the fifth time Haru tried to tuck his hair behind his ears, the two of them sharing a chagrined smile as they parted.

“…Wanna swim a bit?” Haru asked.  _You didn’t bring me to water just to look at it, right?_

“Ah, yeah.”  Color crept into Rin’s cheeks.  “One thing first.”

Haru watched, curious, as Rin dug into a pocket…

Rin pulled out some kind of woven leather strap, narrow and about the circumference of Haru’s wrist.  He offered it, his expression atypically shy.  “…Happy Birthday, Haru.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  “It’s not until…”

“Yeah, but I won’t be able to give this to you then, now will I?”

Haru accepted the gift, studying it, the leather warm and pliable in his fingers.  It was a bracelet made from thin strips of leather, tightly braided.  At the center were two pieces of seashell, opalescent and glossy, one in the shape of a dolphin and the other a shark—facing each other with the leather weaving around the tiny figures like waves.  _It’s…us._   A hot lump formed in Haru’s throat as he ran his thumb over the smooth pieces of polished shell.

“I dunno how you feel about stuff like this,” Rin said.  “You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to.  …But I wanted to get you something.”  Rin snorted, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Trying to explain to the guy in French what I wanted was pretty rough, but it worked out in the end.”

“ _Rin_ …”  Haru was overwhelmed; he couldn’t get any other words out.

Rin’s face was still pink as he met Haru’s eyes.  “…You like it?”

Haru nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat.  “Will…will the water hurt it?”

Rin smiled.  “Nah, you can get it wet.  Don’t wear it racing, though.”

Haru held out the bracelet.  “Here, you do it.”

Rin blushed harder.  “OK.”

Haru offered his right wrist, Rin tying it on securely. 

“…Is that too tight?”

Haru shook his head.  He smiled, looking at the gift against his skin, the dolphin and shark swimming together on the back of his wrist. 

_Oh…  It would only be more perfect if—_

“Hm?”

Haru pressed his lips.  “You should have one, too.”

Rin drew a slow breath, looking embarrassed.  “…I did get two.”  He reached into his pocket again, pulling out a matching bracelet.

Haru brightened.  He held out his hand…

Rin’s face was crimson as Haru tied the bracelet around his left wrist.

“…It’s OK?”

“Yeah.”

Haru held his arm against Rin’s, looking at their identical bracelets, too happy for words.  Moisture gathered in his eyes as he thought about it—how, after Rin left tomorrow, all he would have to do was look down at his wrist to think of them together.  _Pursuing our dream together, even though we have to be apart for a little while._   He leaned over, taking Rin’s face in his hands, trapping garnet strands of hair behind Rin’s ears.  “Rin, thanks.”  He set his lips to Rin’s, the kiss longer and firmer than the last.

“Yeah, Haru.”  Rin buried his hands in Haru’s hair, Haru feeling the leather strands of Rin’s bracelet against his jaw.  Rin’s gaze was solemn, his brow slightly furrowed.  “I love you,” he said, the effort obvious in his voice, but once the words were out he seemed to relax, his expression softening with relief.

Haru’s heart thrilled.  He leaned in for another kiss, feeling Rin respond as their lips melted together. 

…The kiss didn’t stay chaste, heating as Rin’s fingers curled in Haru’s hair.  Haru tilted his head for better access as Rin’s lips parted beneath his own.  He loved it—every time their tongues brushed, every quiet, muffled sound they made.  And they didn’t even have to come up for air.

“Nn…”  Haru’s lashes fluttered as Rin deepened the kiss, silently demanding more, and he debated…because pushing Rin down into the sand seemed like a better and better idea…

Rin pulled away—too soon—and Haru grunted his protest.  But Rin was grinning, a wicked gleam in his eyes.  “Haru, wanna go make out in the water?”

 _Like you have to ask—_  Haru hopped up, tearing his shirt off over his head.  Rin matched him, the two of them stripping like they were kids—when they competed to see who could get in the pool first—throwing their clothes down and kicking off their sandals.  Then they were running barefoot across the beach, down to the water’s edge.  The sparkling surf splashed like warm bathwater against Haru’s ankles, his feet sinking into wet sand.  The roar of the waves was loud in his ears and Rin was grinning beside him. 

When the water was up to their waists they dove, swimming just a few strokes, then they were bobbing in the turquoise sea, the water lapping at their shoulders with their feet on the sandy bottom.  Haru circled Rin with his arms, dragging them together.  Rin twined his arms around Haru’s shoulders and their lips found each other’s, Haru tasting saltwater in their kiss.

They were more than a polite distance from any other swimmers and no one seemed to be paying any attention.  Haru wouldn’t have cared, anyway.  _It doesn’t bother me if people know how I feel about you; that I love you._   The bracelet was wonderfully foreign on his wrist, a constant reminder of their new relationship.  They swayed with each wave that rocked against them, sticky with the sea salt spray, their shoulders heated by the sun. 

Haru didn’t get tired of the feel of Rin’s mouth or his hands…or the tantalizing brushes of skin against skin.  They played at teasing each other with grasps of hips, their legs alternatively tangled and free, with brief moments of their bodies pressed flush when it was impossible to deny or hide what they were both feeling.  Haru’s heart was running fast.  He slid his fingers down the side of Rin’s neck and found Rin’s pulse just as rapid.

If anything, the water was distracting.  The waves had them breaking apart whenever the big ones crashed over their heads, making them pause to wipe wet hair and saltwater from their faces until they could come together again.  Any other time, Haru would’ve been ecstatic to be in the water—especially swimming with Rin.  But the more they kissed and touched and teased…all he could think about was the bed in their hotel room and the hours they had together tonight, assuming Rin wanted the same thing.

Rin really seemed to like it when Haru’s hands were in his hair, especially buried deep along the back of his scalp.  He purred like a cat with feral groans against Haru’s mouth, pulling their hips deliciously together, Haru loosing a sound of his own.  He drew back, breathless and impatient.  Rin was breathing hard too, looking at him eagerly.

Haru glanced towards the shore.  “Rin, let’s—”

He didn’t see the wave coming.  It broke over their heads with enough force to knock them off their feet.  Haru tumbled in the surf, not knowing which way was up—  He clawed towards the surface, fear squeezing his heart. 

Haru popped up in shallower water, looking this way and that for Rin.  His heart was pounding—because it was the ocean and oceans were hit or miss for Rin—  “Rin?  Rin!”

He heard laughter and whirled, seeing Rin get back on his feet, shoving water and hair from his eyes.

Haru relaxed, his heart slowly calming.  _It’s just the storms that get to you._

Rin waded through the waist-deep water to him, slinging arms around his shoulders and chuckling into his hair.  “I guess we got a little too distracted.”

“Yeah.”  Haru squeezed Rin tight.

By unspoken agreement, they laced their hands together and headed for shore.

The sun dried them quickly even as it dipped towards the western horizon, lighting the sky over Barcelona in gold and rosy hues.  Haru split his attention between Rin and the sky…but mostly Rin as he pulled on his clothes. 

“Did you want to stay for the sunset?”

Rin shook his head, turning away with a smile as he donned his T-shirt.

They brushed off as much sand as possible, then linked hands, heading up the beach.  Their bracelets bumped as they walked.

“Haru…”  Rin paused, clearing his throat.  “Your next competition’s Thursday?”

Haru’s heart sped up a tick as he heard the _unvoiced_ question with perfect clarity.  “Not until Friday.”  They reached the plaza, following the ramp up to street-level.  Haru’s face heated.  “…Tonight’s OK.  For something.”

“Something,” Rin said.

“Mm…  I don’t have that stuff.”  Haru glanced over.

“Oh.”  Rin flushed.  “Me either.” 

Reality settled over them with a trace of nerves, Haru feeling Rin tense a little through their clasped hands.

Rin’s lips pursed and he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I guess we could stop somewhere…”

“Let’s…keep it simple tonight,” Haru said.  _I don’t want to rush into…that.  Not everything at once._   It was going to be their first time.  _I want to have lots of first times with you, Rin._   “…If it’s OK with you.”

“Yeah, it’s OK with me,” Rin said, exhaling and relaxing.  He smiled, lowering his voice.  “I want you.  The ‘how’ part…I don’t care.”

Haru heard those words with his whole body, his breath coming out long and slow.  He blushed hard, turning and tugging Rin towards the curb.  “Let’s take a taxi.”

-x-

The hotel lobby was still loud as they walked in, the bar packed with athletes getting drunk.  Ozawa was there in the center of the ruckus, in glittery street clothes, knocking back shots with a British swimmer.  Konishi was nearby, snapping pictures with her phone.

“Oh.”  Haru slowed his steps.  “We’re supposed to check-in…”

“Mm.  My phone’s off,” Rin said.

“Mine too.”

But then he caught sight of Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara at a table on the edge of the crowd, supervising and drinking beers.  Akagi noticed them and waved.

They waved back.

“Guess that’s done,” Rin said.

“Yup.”

Rin pulled on his hand and they headed for the elevators.

But there was a crowd waiting—several cars’ worth and Haru frowned, growing restless.

Rin glanced at him.  “Stairs?”

_Yes._

The stairwell was just around the corner, through a separate door.  It was deserted and quiet, Haru’s breath hitching as Rin pulled him against the wall, just inside the entryway, for a kiss.  Mischief and tease gleamed in Rin’s eyes as they parted.  Then they were running up the stairs—Rin leading with a solid hold on Haru’s wrist, taking the steps two at a time while Haru focused on keeping up and not falling…

They spilled out into the third floor hallway, breathless and running towards their room, their sandals slapping against the marble floors.  An older couple heading in the opposite direction gave them a nasty look.  Rin didn’t seem to care but Haru dipped his head in a quick apology, realizing afterwards that the couple probably wouldn’t understand the Japanese gesture.

They reached the door to room 309 and Rin waited, grinning and breathing hard.  Haru dug into his pocket for the keycard, snorting his annoyance.  _Why am I the one that always has to—_

But his mind blanked as Rin’s arms circled him from behind and warm lips touched the back of his neck.  Haru gasped softly, feeling the rush of heat all the way down to his toes.  He exhaled roughly, shoving the keycard into the slot.  At the green light, Rin worked the handle, letting them in.  Haru grabbed the flimsy sign that said, _privacidad por favor_ , just getting it in place before Rin pulled him into the room, their lips meeting before the door fully closed.

Rin’s mouth still tasted like saltwater and Rin’s groan against Haru’s tongue was like music.  Impatience gripped him, Haru slipping his hands beneath Rin’s T-shirt and running his palms up Rin’s back.  Rin arched against him with another noise and hands seized the hem of his T-shirt. 

It didn’t work—both of them getting trapped with their shirts half-off, trying to undress each other while they kissed.  They broke apart, sharing a smile and Haru relented, letting Rin strip the T-shirt over his head first.  A cloud of sand came with it, settling on their heads, shoulders, and around their feet—

Rin laughed, tossing Haru’s T-shirt to the floor, raising his arms as Haru skimmed his shirt off, the action leaving them in another layer of dust.  “It’s in everything.”

“I guess…”  Haru’s heart was thudding in his chest as he looked at Rin half-clothed, the moment feeling different from any of the thousands of times they’d swam together.  “…we need a shower.”

Rin’s mirth faded, his eyes sharpening with desire and intent.  “I think you’re right.”

They shed their own pants and shoes, Haru flicking the door locks while Rin turned on the lights in the bathroom and started the shower.  Haru brushed sand from his arms, his jammers—which were tight normally—feeling unbearable now.  But he didn’t take them off yet.

Rin had the water going, standing beside the tub in his leg skins with one hand beneath the spray.  “Haru, tell me if this is too hot.”

Haru came up beside him, the two of them close in the small confines of the bathroom; he could feel the heat from Rin’s body against his skin.  He held his hand in the streaming water, the temperature warmer than his preference, but cooler than Rin’s.  He nodded.

Rin leaned in, towards his lips, but Haru caught Rin’s arm, stopping him.

He drew a breath, his heart pounding as he met Rin’s gaze.  “Anything not OK…you’ll tell me, right?”

Rin’s face softened, his cheeks coloring.  “Yeah.  You will, too?”

“Yeah.”

They climbed into the tub, Haru drawing the curtain.  Their mouths met beneath the hot spray…

There was one tiny bar of soap, which Haru remembered the moment his lips ventured from Rin’s mouth to his jaw, getting a taste of the grit that clung to them.  They passed the bar back and forth, hands lathing suds across each other’s skin, working the sand from each crease of muscle along their backs, chests, and arms.  The constriction in Haru’s jammers only worsened with Rin touching him, the occasional brush of their hips sending jolts through both of them, Haru assured Rin was equally…

His breath hitched as soapy fingers slid across his abs, slipping just inside the waistband of his jammers and loosening the cord tie.  Haru leaned back, his face burning and he closed his eyes briefly…  Then Rin was kissing him, Haru clinging to Rin’s shoulders as Rin worked the suit from his hips.  He groaned against Rin’s mouth at the incidental brush of fingers, his hold tightening—fingertips pressing into Rin’s skin.  It took minutes to get the damn thing down to his thighs, but the relief—when it came—was immediate and Haru broke from Rin’s lips with thick breaths.  His skin tingled where Rin’s hands rested on his bare hips, even as he felt self-conscious, being exposed like this for the first time.  But the way Rin’s chest heaved, the way Rin bit his lower lip as he looked down between them…Haru forgot about being embarrassed, loosening his grasp and cooperating as Rin bent down, stripping the jammers the rest of the way down his legs.  He stepped out of them and Rin reached past the shower curtain, tossing the suit onto the bathroom floor. 

He waited for Rin to stand up again…then caught his lover by the waist, tugging Rin close and dipping his fingers into the front of Rin’s leg skins.  Rin gave a short groan, his body jerking against Haru’s hands...and Haru felt a fresh pulse of desire, his breath gliding through his teeth, the balmy water running down his spine as he loosened the cord draw with a dexterous pull.  Rin looped his arms around Haru’s neck, his cheeks reddening and he leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together as Haru, by feel, carefully began to separate the swimsuit from Rin’s skin.  It took some doing, Rin apparently wearing his suits even tighter than Haru preferred.  In the end, Haru settled on peeling the fabric down, Rin rocking his hips to make it easier and sighing heavily when he was freed.  Haru continued working the suit down Rin’s legs, his hands skimming Rin’s thighs, and it was slightly faster now.  He crouched low to get past Rin’s knees, his fingers running down the backs of Rin’s calves.  Rin squirmed and grunted, Haru taking note.  _A ticklish spot?_   He danced his fingertips over the same expanse of skin and Rin twitched away.

“Haru…”  He could hear the glare even though he wasn’t looking up.

Haru relented, Rin holding onto his shoulder and stepping out of the suit.  Haru threw the swimsuit to the floor; it made a wet slapping sound against the marble.  He got an eyeful of everything as he straightened.  Being boys who grew up together, he couldn’t help comparing…  Rin, by the way his eyes flicked, was doing it, too.

Haru’s lips quirked.  “We’re the—”

“ _Tch_.  Stop it.”  Wet fingers pushed playfully at his face. 

Haru smiled.  He settled his hands on Rin’s hips, his heart back to racing in his chest as he coaxed Rin closer…

The sudden skin-on-skin contact had them both shuddering with pleasure, Haru’s eyes sliding closed with sensory overload, his fingers digging into muscle while the water sheeted down their bodies.  Rin leaned into him, both of them breathing thickly…the kiss that followed was urgent, heated, with deep stabs of tongue and rough, partial breaths, hands gripping skin while their hips rocked together. 

The second round of sand removal was totally half-assed, quick runs of soapy fingers—

Then Haru’s back hit the slick, marble wall.  Rin’s eyes were dark with desire, the hot spray pelting their shoulders.  They were both breathing hard.  Rin gave him a sly look, his left hand trapping Haru’s right up against the wall, their bracelets pressed against their wrists.  Rin’s other hand slipped between their bodies—

Haru saw black, tremors of pleasure tearing through him, one after the next.  His head fell back against the wall with a groan.  Rin was merciless, Haru struggling to even breathe—  Then Rin’s lips slid across his throat and he twitched, his legs going weak, his hand curling tight into Rin’s…

“Oh, _fuck—_ ”

Rin chuckled against his skin.  “Haru…  I’ve never heard you use that word.”

“Nn.  Shut up,” Haru muttered, his free hand clutching Rin’s thigh.  His wet eyelashes fluttered against his skin.  _Oh God—_

Rin hummed with amusement, his voice husky.  “I should shut up…and stop?”  His fingers slowed to a tease…

“ _No._ ”  The word came out sharper than he meant it and Rin laughed, his lips lifting from Haru’s neck. 

Haru opened his eyes, holding Rin’s glittering gaze as he asserted his own slick grasp—  Rin’s face tightened and his body shook, several short moans issuing from his parted lips.

Haru slit his eyes in satisfaction and leaned in for Rin’s mouth.  “…No, just _shut up_.”

-x-

Haru floated down from the high—slowly—to an aching knee.  There was probably a bruise forming, not that he cared.  They lay scrunched in the bottom of the tub, heaving with breath, limbs everywhere.  The hot spray cascaded over Haru’s back, Rin was beneath him and they were both…sticky.  Haru vaguely remembered smacking his knee into the side of the tub in their haste to get more comfortable, though they couldn’t be bothered at the time to actually get out of the shower. 

Haru’s body hummed with pleasure, his skin ultra-sensitive, burning everywhere they were touching.  He had one hand braced on the edge of the tub, as did Rin.  He levered himself up, taking some of his weight off Rin, meeting Rin’s eyes.  Rin’s gaze was just as bright and alive; he was smiling as he caught his breath.

Haru matched Rin’s smile with his own, sitting up completely and pulling Rin with him.  Their lips met amidst the spray, the water running across their skin.

“Fuck,” Rin whispered.  “That was…”

“Yeah…” Haru said.  He threaded his hand into Rin’s hair, the damp strands catching on the soaked leather bracelet on his wrist.  “Better than swimming together.”

“You’re not fucking kidding.”  Rin grinned.

Eventually they managed to their feet, Haru feeling unsteady at first, his leg muscles cramped from the tight quarters, Rin swaying a little, too.  After they rinsed clean, he cranked off the water.  They toweled off and climbed from the tub, the steam starting to dissipate in the small bathroom. 

Rin winced, pausing as he dried off his left arm.  He peered at his elbow, frowning.  “Haru, can you?”

Haru inspected the limb…sure enough, there was a tender, red spot on the outside of Rin’s elbow, just above the joint.  “Yeah, you must’ve hit it on the way down.”

Rin cocked a brow.  “You mean when you pushed me.”

“Mm.”  Haru shrugged.  “I got this one.”  He pointed to his right knee, where a nice purple circle was forming on his knee cap.  “There’s an ice machine down the hall.”

“That would involve putting on clothes,” Rin said, taking his arm back.  He wrapped his towel around his waist.

“True, though…”  Haru circled his hips with his towel and tucked the end in securely.  “This is more than I wear in the pool.”

Rin facepalmed.  “Haru…”

“I’ll be fast.”

“…Just don’t end up on the internet.”

-x-

Still in their towels, they sat on the edge of the bed for a while with their ice compresses, having taken care of their sandy clothes and hung everything up to dry. 

Haru lifted his washcloth of ice cubes and tested his knee; the ache had subsided a bit.  He glanced at the clock.  It was late.  Rin should’ve been getting tired by now, though he didn’t look the least bit sleepy.  Haru felt like he could swim a 10k and have more left over, the way his body was still singing. 

“…We should probably get ready for bed,” he said, getting up. 

“…Probably should.”  Rin followed him into the bathroom.

Side-by-side in the small space, they went about their usual routines—flossing and brushing, trying not to spit on each other’s hands as they rinsed.

Haru was drying his hands when Rin hugged him around the waist from behind, Rin tucking his chin on Haru’s right shoulder. 

Haru leaned back into the embrace, resting his arms over Rin’s, their gazes meeting in the mirror.  There were no regrets in either of their eyes, nothing shy or awkward…just contentment and acres of love.  Rin kissed his cheek and Haru smiled—he’d smiled a lot today.  By the look in Rin’s eyes, he’d noticed, too.

Haru turned in his lover’s arms, smoothing damp strands of hair from Rin’s face as he leaned in for Rin’s waiting lips.

The way their mouths melded—slowly but with passion—and their arms tightened around each other…he knew they weren’t going to sleep just yet.

-x-

The second time was different, Haru ensuring they made it to the bed.  They were kissing as he coaxed Rin down to the sheets, in the glow of the lamp light.  Their eyes met, lacking the raw lust and even the tease of before.  _This time is about us_.  Not just sex…not just pleasure.  Haru ran his fingers through Rin’s hair, the garnet strands fanning out against the pillow, and felt Rin relax; heard the soft sigh.  There was naked affection in Rin’s gaze, Haru reading the same love they’d confessed earlier and he kissed Rin again—deeply—full of sweet warmth. 

What followed was an unhurried exploration with hits and a few misses—though Rin didn’t seem to mind—as Haru learned his lover’s body by touch and taste, attuned to what made Rin’s breath hitch, what made him groan, what made him clutch the sheets and arch his back…  And the whispered expletives—there were a lot of those.  Haru didn’t tease.  When he found what Rin liked, he lavished it, bringing his lover from thick breaths and the occasional tremor to outright pants and choked-back moans, Rin shaking until he broke with a ragged groan, his fingers clenching Haru’s hair. 

Rin slumped back against the bed, breathing hard, one arm thrown across his eyes.  Haru savored it—the way Rin looked, sounded, and felt—committing it all to memory down to the shivers of pleasure that traced through Rin’s frame beneath his fingertips.  He was achingly aroused, a little embarrassed that simply doing what he’d done for Rin brought him so close to the edge already.  But he forgot about it as hands hooked around his arms to drag him up the bed, bringing them face-to-face, and Rin’s tongue pushed between his lips—

Haru found himself on his back—Rin sitting across his thighs—groaning into their kiss as Rin’s touch unraveled him.  He dug his fingers into Rin’s shoulders, their bodies pressed tight, losing himself in the demands of Rin’s mouth and the pleasures racing through him.  His release was sharp and stunning, Haru breaking from Rin’s kiss for much-needed air as he jerked and shook beneath his lover’s body, riding it out…

His head was spinning when he came back down, out of breath.  He softened his grip on Rin’s shoulders, hoping he hadn’t left marks on Rin’s skin.

There was a slightly startled look in Rin’s eyes.  “Haru, I didn’t get to…”

“I couldn’t help it,” Haru said as he slowly caught his breath, still a little shocked that it could feel like _that_.

Rin smirked, obviously satisfied with Haru’s answer.  He was grinning as he leaned down for a brief kiss on the lips and left one on the tip of Haru’s nose, too.  “We need another shower.”

“Yep.”

They rinsed off and only bothered with their underwear, tumbling into bed with damp hair, utterly spent…

 


	17. Barcelona free, Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/17/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).

Monday, June 13th, 2016

* * *

The first light of day had Rin stirring to white sheets…and his lover sleeping beside him.  The dawn was softened by the gauzy curtains over the window; they hadn’t remembered last night to draw the heavy drapes.  Haru shared Rin’s pillow, lying on his stomach, swaths of sun-bronzed skin exposed by the blankets that had slipped from his shoulders sometime during the night.  His face was peaceful, lips slightly parted as he breathed, dark eyelashes resting against his cheeks.  The black hair scattered across his brow begged to be swept aside with a slow brush of fingertips, but Rin restrained himself, not wanting to wake Haru just yet. 

 _You are so fucking beautiful_.  Rin was curled up on his side, facing Haru, the sheets feeling odd against his bare legs since he rarely slept in just his underwear.  Waking up like this…felt like home.  Not home like his apartment in Tokyo, his homestay parents’ house in Sydney, or even his mom’s place in Iwatobi.  _Home_ , like…a place where he could rest and be himself without any pretense or façade…  Where he didn’t have to _do_ anything, but just _be_ , for once.  Where even those parts of him that needed to be up and going and achieving…were quiet for a little while.

He couldn’t remember the last time he felt like this.  …Or maybe he could, but he didn’t want to, because he’d been young.  It was back when the world was perfect and every day was the same—he and Sousuke challenging each other to some duel at Sano Elementary or at swim practice, riding home on his dad’s shoulders and laughing at the constant smell of fish and seawater in his dad’s hair—no matter how many times he showered.  Rin’s mom would be making dinner or baking something when they got home and Gou would be on the floor surrounded by pieces of construction paper, drawing pictures of the four of them in messy crayon.  …Before everything changed and shattered; before his world of vibrant color went dull and monochrome—gray like the ash in the incense burner or like the granite marker at his father’s grave.

Rin’s fingers curled on the edge of the duvet as he fought the somber memories he didn’t want to recall—not now when he and Haru had hours left to spend together.  After he left for France, it would be forty days before they were both in São Paulo. 

…But some thoughts came to him and he couldn’t push them back.  Things he didn’t even realize he remembered, _maybe because I didn’t want to._   …Like the way his mom and dad looked at each other when they thought he and Gou weren’t paying any attention, the way they touched and hugged and how his dad liked to kiss the palm of his mom’s hand and lay it against his heart.  They called each other by silly pet names even when they were arguing and ‘I love you’ got said a lot, in every way from sweet whispers to breathless peals of laughter.  One time, when his mom was getting over a cold, Rin’s dad and Gou tried to make dinner and accidently set a fire in the kitchen bad enough that their neighborhood fireman had to come and put it out.  Rin was old enough by then to be embarrassed, but he remembered standing in the doorway with his mom—she was in her pajamas, laughing so hard she was wiping the tears from her eyes as she said it.  They ate food out of the rice cooker and microwave for a couple weeks, afterwards.

Rin’s eyes burned and he closed them, shifting against the sheets.  He hadn’t let himself think of those times in years.  They’d been a family of hugs and ‘I love you’s before.  As an adolescent, he pretended not to like it, but…  Rin swallowed, drawing a careful breath.  When his dad died, all of that died, too.  His mom tried, but the pain in her eyes was too hard to look at, and Gou just cried.  Rin buried himself in swimming until he was too tired to hurt anymore, practicing and training until he was faster than everyone else on the team.  On a random trip to Iwatobi Swim Club, he’d come face-to-face with the picture of his dad as a kid with his relay team…

Rin rolled onto his back with a sigh, pushing hair back from his face.  Somewhere, along the way, he decided that all of that love and happiness was weakness and distraction and a prelude to pain.  _I convinced myself I didn’t need it…and didn’t want it._

“…Rin?”  Haru’s voice was drowsy with sleep.  There was a rustle of sheets and warm fingers touched his arm.

Rin rubbed his eyes quickly.  _Fuck.  You’re gonna think all I do is fall apart._

But Haru didn’t say a word.  He just scooted over beneath the covers, wrapping Rin up with his body like an extra blanket, with an arm curled across Rin’s chest and a leg slipped over his knees.  Haru’s torso was flush against Rin’s side, the two of them clad only in their underwear and their leather bracelets.

Rin tensed at first, part of him wanting to pull away.  It hurt too much to let himself feel these things.  He hated being emotional; he hated things he couldn’t control.  But Haru was safe.  Haru had always been his safe place when the storms came.  Rin grit his teeth briefly, just to get through it—

Haru’s face was in his hair—against his ear—and Haru’s arm tightened around him.  “Rin, I love you.”

The words were both knife and balm, slicing deep into him, but soothing those unreachable depths he’d locked away even from himself.  Maybe that was the only way in there.  Rin yielded—just this once—twisting into Haru’s embrace so he could wrap his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  With his ear pressed against Haru’s chest, he could hear the slow, steady rhythm of his lover’s heart.  Haru got both arms around him, holding him beneath the covers until every last bit of tension bled from his body…

-x-

It was 7-something according to the clock when Rin woke up again.  He was sprawled half on top of Haru, with enough of his weight against Haru’s chest he was amazed Haru was asleep at all.  _But you were always good at sleeping_.  Rin shifted off onto his side, though he kept their bodies pressed together, enjoying the warmth of Haru’s skin against his own.  He felt better—freer—as if his brief foray into that emotional hell had done some good.  Maybe there were other things like that—festering loose ends and jagged edges that didn’t _have_ to stay that way.  Maybe he could be brave enough, a bit at a time, to face them. 

Rin smiled and pressed his lips to Haru’s right shoulder, getting a whiff of the chlorine that never left either of them.  _If loving you means letting you in…I’m OK with that._

“Nn.”  Haru’s lashes fluttered against his cheeks as he stirred but didn’t wake.  His right arm was snaked around Rin’s body, moving absently, fingers settling against Rin’s hip.  Rin felt the soft leather of Haru’s bracelet against his waist.

He left another kiss on his lover’s skin.  _Time to wake up, Haru.  Can’t have you sleeping away our whole morning…_  

Rin tucked his left elbow beneath him, wincing when he briefly put weight on his bruise from last night…but that only brought _other_ memories to mind…  _Like the way you looked above me in the shower, how blue your eyes were…  How you held my gaze until the last possible second, like you didn’t want to miss any of it, until we both—_   Rin bit his lower lip, his heart speeding up a little.  He braced his other hand against the sheets—across Haru’s body but not touching—letting his lips be the only contact as he worked slowly inward from shoulder to collarbone…

“Ngh.”  Haru shifted beneath him, his hand twitching against Rin’s hip.  “Rin…”

“Hm?”  Rin played in languid kisses on Haru’s skin as he slipped closer to the sensitive juncture where Haru’s neck met his shoulder.  He relished the way Haru’s breathing hitched and changed, how Haru’s fingers flexed and then firmly grasped his hip.

“Mm…what time is it?”  Haru’s legs slid against Rin’s.

“After seven.”  Rin slowed his approach to a tease, smiling at the way Haru tilted his head back in invitation.

Haru’s other hand found Rin’s arm, gliding up his shoulder and burying warmly in his hair.  “That early?”

Rin hummed his amusement against Haru’s skin.  “That’s early to you?”

“It’s my day off,” Haru murmured, still not opening his eyes.  “We were up late.”

“Mm, true…”  Rin knew he’d found the spot when Haru made a breathy sound and jerked beneath him.  “I could let you go back to sleep if you _really_ want to…”

“Don’t,” Haru whispered, his fingertips dragging against Rin’s skin.

Rin smiled against Haru’s neck.  “OK.” 

He experimented with different kisses, with little teases of tongue and teeth, testing Haru’s reaction to each.  His ministrations left the skin reddened but—he hoped—not enough to leave an actual mark, Haru’s breath coming in slow, hard puffs and his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks.

Rin shifted his weight onto his elbows—ignoring the slight ache in his left arm—and slipped a knee between Haru’s.  Haru moved to accommodate him, allowing him to settle on top—  Rin stilled with a groan, his eyes falling closed as Haru gripped his hips and brushed them together. 

 _You seem pretty awake_.  Rin’s breath came out thick and ragged as he drew back slightly, meeting the startling blue of Haru’s gaze…  They kissed with slow pushes of tongue, their hips finding a natural rhythm that was so much easier on the bed than in that stupid, cramped bathtub.

But Rin had to pull away, or it would be over before they ever got their underwear off.  He sat back on his ankles, running his hands and mouth over Haru’s chest as he moved lower…as patient as he could manage—

 _Fuck, who am I kidding?_   Rin threw off the blankets and grasped Haru’s waist in both hands as he slid down the bed, kissing Haru’s abs and nipping with his teeth at the elastic of navy blue boxer briefs.  He nuzzled briefly, rewarded by a jerk and a low moan. 

“Rin…”  Haru was breathless—fully awake now.  He had one arm bent, his hand clutching the edge of the pillow beneath his head.  His other hand gripped Rin’s shoulder.  Their eyes met, Haru’s flared wide with desire and maybe a trace of reservation.  “Are you really gonna…?”

“If it’s OK with you,” he said, pausing with his hands at the elastic.  _You didn’t have any qualms about doing this for me yesterday…_

Haru swallowed and nodded.  “Just…mind your teeth.”

 _Is that what you’re worried about?_   Rin chuckled.  “I promise I’ll be careful.”  He slipped his hands beneath the elastic band, Haru lying back—

Rin had no ego-driven misconceptions about being an expert at something he was doing for the first time; like Haru the night before, he tried a few things—gauging and listening and feeling it when Haru’s fingertips dug into his skin.  But when he found what worked—when Haru was panting beneath him with a tight fistful of his hair—Rin went for it without holding back.  And watching Haru—controlled, deliberate, defiant _Haru—_ letting loose and enjoying his efforts…it felt so good it was almost too much.

After, Rin sat up, pressing a knuckle to the corner of his mouth as Haru trembled beneath him, hearing and feeling the rough breaths as Haru slowly calmed.  His lover’s groans still echoed in his ears and might as well have been caresses, the way his body responded.  Rin’s fingers curled against Haru’s thigh.  _Haru, fuck—_

Haru caught him by the arm and pulled—  Rin met wild blue eyes before they kissed, hands threading through his hair once before Haru was pushing the underwear from his hips—

The hands that melted the tension from his sore back weeks ago were just as good at…other things.  It wasn’t long before Rin rested against Haru’s chest, panting and shaking, his body buzzing with pleasure…

“…I see what you meant, last night,” he said when he could manage, lifting his head from Haru’s shoulder.

Haru’s eyes were drowsy and sweetly sated.  “Yeah,” he said and smiled.

Still breathless, Rin captured Haru’s lips for a kiss.

They lingered in the shower once they were clean, wearing just their matching bracelets.  Rin had his face tucked into Haru’s hair, his arms draping Haru’s shoulders from behind as the hot water ran across their skin.  It was going to suck saying goodbye today.  _I wish you were coming with me to France…or I was going with you to the States…_   Rin sighed in the steamy air, closing his eyes.

Haru’s hand curled around his wrist—around the bracelet.  “Rin…?”  Wet hair brushed his face as Haru moved.

“Hm?”  Rin opened his eyes, meeting the soft, happy look Haru was giving him.

“Just…I love you.”

The words were a tender embrace to all of the hidden, inside parts of himself that he didn’t let anyone else see.  Rin tightened his arms, the lump warm in his throat.  “Love you, too.”  It got easier every time he said it.

-x-

They made it downstairs just before breakfast ended, their teammates already finished eating by the time they arrived at what Haru called ‘the normal table.’  The breakfast buffet was on the second floor of the hotel in a long room with a bank of floor-to-ceiling windows on one side, letting in the sunlight.  The tables were dark wood with matching chairs on a marble floor, with the buffet islands and omelet station at the back.  The place wasn’t as crowded as yesterday, Rin guessing many of the athletes were still in bed nursing their hangovers from the night before.  Ozawa, of note, was absent.  At the table, Coach Akagi, Captain Ikehara, and Konishi were hanging out in street clothes with cups of coffee and tea.

Ikehara noticed them first and waved.  “Good morning, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”  He was wearing a polo shirt and jeans, the coppery highlights in his hair catching the overhead lighting.

Haru led the way over, tugging Rin by the hand.  “Good morning.” 

“Good morning,” Rin said, with a nod to Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara in particular.  He and Haru both wore lightweight sweatshirts unzipped over their T-shirts and pants—Rin, to cover the bruise on his arm and Haru, a reddened area on the side of his neck that was proving slow to fade.  _I need to stop looking at that or they’re gonna notice._

“Ozawa-senpai?” Haru asked, looking at the empty chair beside Konishi.

Konishi snorted and shook her head.  “Still passed out.  I’ll check on her in a bit.”  She tucked chin-length black hair behind her ear, looking a little tired.

Rin felt way too good to be sympathetic at the moment, even though he’d spent enough nights helping Makoto haul Mikoshiba’s and Takara’s drunk asses around to know how much that sucked.  _But yesterday was the best night of my life, so…_   His cheeks got hot and he glanced away, trying to keep the joy he felt from bubbling over.  _Not to mention this morning.  That_ thought didn’t help at all.  Rin felt Haru’s gaze flick to him but he didn’t dare look over or he’d lose it.

“…You two should get something to eat before everything’s picked over,” Ikehara said.

“Hai,” Haru said quietly.

They moved off in the direction of the buffet, heading for the bread station first and grabbing plates.  Haru picked up the tongs, putting slices of bread for both of them into the conveyer toaster. 

“You’re acting weird, Rin.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.  I am not.”  Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “I didn’t say anything back there.”

Blue eyes studied him mildly.  “Yeah, you just stood there giddy and quivering like a star about to go nova.”

“ _I did not_.”  Rin’s face burned. 

Haru smiled with his eyes and Rin glared at him.

“Just because I’m happy, you ass.”  He took his plate and headed off towards the lean meats and cheeses, hearing Haru’s amused sound as he left.

-x-

They carried their plates and glasses back to the table where their teammates were still nursing hot drinks.  Like yesterday, Haru had the breads and fruits while Rin had the proteins and they spent a minute trading items from plate to plate. 

Konishi was across from them, her fingers wrapped around a fresh cup of black tea.  “Really?”

“What?  It’s efficient,” Haru said.

Konishi pressed her lips, her eyes dancing.  To Rin, it was clear she was trying not to chuckle. 

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun…  You two have plans for the morning?” Ikehara asked.

“We’re going to the aquarium,” Haru said.

Rin noticed the way Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara shared a glance.

“Don’t get into any trouble, Nanase-kun,” Akagi said.

“You’ll keep an eye on him, right?  Matsuoka-kun.”  Captain Ikehara was smiling.

Konishi winced.  “Yeah, not like the _Lille Lungeg_ _årdsvannet_ …”

“Nn…”  Haru frowned.

 _Oh God, Haru, what did you do?_   Rin glanced at Haru aside, quirking a brow.  “The what?”

Haru didn’t say anything.

“The _Lille Lungeg_ _årdsvannet_.  It’s this part-lake, part-fountain in the center of Bergen…”  Konishi leaned an elbow on the table and rested her chin on her knuckles.  “It was a nice day.  We just went over to _look_ at it—”

“There wasn’t a sign,” Haru muttered.  “I checked.”

“It should’ve been pretty obvious when no one else was doing it.”

Captain Ikehara cleared his throat lightly, lifting his coffee cup.  “In any case…  You’ll behave yourself, won’t you, Nanase-kun?”

Haru pursed his lips.  “…Hai.”

Rin tried his hardest not to laugh.

-x-

They were still eating when Konishi’s phone buzzed.  “Ah, _sumimasen_.”  She dipped her head, getting up and moving away from the table as she answered.  “Hey, I was just gonna…  Yeah, they’re still…  You want me to…  Sure.  Got it.  …No, no, stop apologizing.”  Konishi laughed quietly.  “I’ll be right there.”  She ended the call and came back, bowing.  “I’m gonna take some breakfast to Yumi-senpai.  Excuse me.”  With a wave, she headed back towards the buffet.

Akagi checked his watch.  “Ready to tackle that paperwork, Captain Ikehara?”

Ikehara nodded with a sigh.  “Yeah.  Guess we should, Akagi-sensei.”

Coach Akagi set his tea cup down on the table.  “Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hai?”  Rin glanced over, across Haru.

“Don’t be late for your pickup.  One o’clock.  Or you’ll be buying your own train ticket back to France and explaining to Coach Fujino why you’re late.”

“Hai.”  Rin bowed his head.  “My apologies again for all of the trouble.”

Akagi waved him off and stood, a spark of warmth in his usually expressionless eyes.  “Don’t mention it.  Just show Coach Fujino that he was right to let you do this, when you get back.”

Rin stood as well and bowed low.  “Hai.”

Ikehara headed off with a wave.  “Later, you two.”

They waved back, Rin waiting until they’d gone before dropping into his chair again.  He draped an arm around Haru’s shoulders, grinning. 

“A fountain in Bergen, huh?”

Haru stilled beneath his arm, glaring at him and brushing a few crumbs from his sleeve.  “It was a lake.”

Rin chuckled, leaning in to press a quick peck to his lover’s ear.  “I just like that you never change.  No matter where you are in the world, you’re still you.”  He drew back, meeting Haru’s gaze.

Haru’s eyes softened…then clouded.  “I guess.”

Rin lifted his brows.  “You guess?” 

Haru looked down and Rin followed his gaze to the bracelet on his right wrist.  “I feel most like myself when I’m with you, Rin.  It wasn’t always that way, but it is now.”

Rin drew a breath, his voice coming out hushed.  “Haru…”  Their eyes met again, Rin holding onto Haru’s gaze like his life depended on it.  _God, I don’t want to say goodbye again._   He rolled his lips between his teeth.  “ _Fuck_ ,” he whispered.

Haru smiled faintly, his eyes alight with the same pain.  “Yeah,” he said, leaning against Rin’s shoulder as he reached for his juice glass.

-x-

They took a train and a bus to get to Port Vell, the aquarium situated on a large pier surrounded by marinas, just west of Barceloneta Beach.  The bus dropped them off on the _Moll d’Espanya_ , right in front, the morning warm and humid with a pleasant breeze.  They crossed the street, heading up a couple of steps onto a red brick plaza in front of the building.  _L’aqu_ _àrium Barcelona_ stretched out before them, the entrance shaded by an overhang and topped with country flags snapping in the breeze.  There was a taller, circular section on the left and a mall off to the right.  The area reminded Rin of Daiba, like the time Haru took him there during training camp in May. 

 _Back when I was trying to decide if it was a date or not…and the thought never occurred to me that I was in love with you._   Haru was beside him, quietly taking it all in.  Their fingers were laced together—Haru’s right hand and Rin’s left, their bracelets touching at their wrists.  _I’m glad I finally figured it out.  It’s just shitty it took so long._

Rin squeezed Haru’s hand, clearing his throat.  “Ready?”

Haru glanced at him with bright, eager eyes.  “Yeah.”

Rin couldn’t help grinning back and they headed towards the entrance. 

Long, concrete steps ran the length of the building, leading up to the shaded entry hall.  They joined the queue for tickets, standing in line with families, other adults, and groups of school-aged children.  When it was their turn, they went up together, Haru letting go of his hand.

“ _Dos adultos, por favor,_ ” Haru said, reaching for his wallet.

“What?  You don’t get to pay.”  Rin dug into his pocket—

Immediately, they both had their wallets out and open, leafing through bills and slapping the required amount on the counter at the exact same time.  The air crackled between them as they glared at each other.

“Why not?” Haru asked. 

“Because it’s a date and _I_ asked _you_.”

“You already paid your way here and back.  It was a lot more than this.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin didn’t back down.  “This is part of your birthday present.”

Neither did Haru.  “This whole weekend has been the best birthday of my life.” 

Rin inhaled to fire back—

The man behind the glass coughed lightly, managing to smile graciously and sound irritated at the same time. 

Haru leveled his gaze, his eyes stormy and intention clear.  _You’re not winning this one, Rin._

The look stole Rin’s breath, making him think of Haru diving over him as anchor and Haru racing him _for real_ in the 50, 100, and 200m free.  Rin relented with a snort, trying to hide the way his face warmed at the thought and the little thrill that went through him.  He looked away.

Haru pushed his money forward.  “ _Por favor_.”

Rin tucked his wallet away.  They got their tickets and stopped holding up the line. 

Haru was back to stoic normal instantly—he was never one to revel in his victories.  If anything, his expression was guarded as he studied Rin’s face, the two of them standing aside between the ticket booth and the glass doors into the aquarium.  “…Did I ruin the date, Rin?” he asked.

Rin chuckled, his ego smarting from the blow, but his heart was running fast.  He slipped his arm around Haru’s shoulders, savoring the surprised look in blue eyes as he leaned close and lowered his voice.  “You know I like it when you don’t hold out on me.”  He pressed his lips, purposely slipping his gaze to Haru’s mouth.  “Is it bad that it’s a turn-on?”

Haru’s lips parted in an audible hitch of breath and it was _all_ the revenge that Rin needed. 

He grinned, pulling back and grabbing Haru’s hand instead.  “Let’s go.”

-x-

They passed through a leafy atrium inside the entrance, the air humid and smelling fresh with all of the foliage.  A free-standing ramp led down to the lower floor, Rin and Haru staying to the side to avoid the throngs of squealing and running kids, descending into a world of blue. 

Floor-to-ceiling tanks covered the walls, backlit signs with pictures and facts in Spanish, Catalan, and English describing each habitat and the fish and other creatures within each tank.  It was louder and more crowded than Rin would’ve liked, knowing how noise bothered Haru.  But Haru seemed perfectly calm, holding Rin’s hand as he stood next to the glass, his eyes quietly soaking everything in.  He tugged gently on Rin’s hand whenever he wanted to move on. 

Rin spent more time watching Haru than any of the fish.  Aquariums had never really been his thing—not enough to do.  Even though he liked sharks—or at the least the idea of sharks—feeding frenzies didn’t appeal to him, all of that blood and chum in the water had a way of making his stomach turn.  But Rin liked the way Haru’s hair was glossy in the low lights, his skin tinged blue, and the way his eyes were the same color as the water.

As they moved through the exhibits, he noticed that Haru would occasionally tug on the neck of his T-shirt, though he didn’t say anything.  The thought came to Rin suddenly and he leaned close to whisper.

“I’m kinda torturing you, huh?  Bringing you to all this water you can only look at.”  _Why didn’t I think of that before?  I’m an idiot._

But Haru glanced at him with warm eyes, shaking his head.  “It’s OK, Rin.  You’re here.”  He smiled with his eyes.  “I can touch you, so…”

Rin’s eyes widened.  “Haru…”  He swallowed, feeling the weighty thud of his heartbeat in his throat.  “Are you saying I’m like…water to you?”

Haru squeezed Rin’s fingers, his gaze solemn.  “You’re better than water to me, Rin.”

Rin inhaled sharply, staggered by the confession that—coming from Haru—was on the same level as, ‘ _I love you.’_   It was a statement he’d made, too, both with words and with actions, when he’d lain his Canet gold medal around Haru’s neck.  _Fuck_.  Rin turned away, running fingers through his hair in an attempt to keep his impulses at bay.  _I really want to kiss you when you say stuff like that._

He saw Haru smile from the corner of his eye, Haru’s thumb running gently across his.  Then Haru was tugging again, pointing at something beyond them with his free hand.  “Rin, can we do that next?”

Rin followed Haru’s gaze to an archway with a sign that said, _L’Oceanari_.  “Ah.”

The Oceanarium was a tunnel with a slowly moving walkway, running first along the edge of the huge tank, then through it.  There were sharks, manta rays, and all kinds of large fish swimming freely, the water above them and surrounding them on either side. 

Because they didn’t have to walk anywhere, Rin stood behind Haru, their bodies pressed close, with his arms wrapped around Haru’s shoulders.  Haru’s hands rested in the usual spot on Rin’s forearms.  The walkway moved them at a crawl through the blue-green world and that was fine with Rin.  Being with Haru like this—in their own little bubble where all the excited kids and noises couldn’t touch them—he wanted it to last forever.  His mind and heart were quiet—in sync and focused on his lover. 

They were there for long, blissful minutes, watching the sharks swim lazily over them, close to the glass.  When they started to near the end, Rin broke one hand free to fish his phone from his pocket.  He powered the device on for the first time in two days.

“Rin?” Haru asked, glancing at what he was doing.

Rin flicked over to the camera and turned off the flash.  “Take a selfie with me.”  _I don’t have a single picture of us together that’s not from a podium.  Nothing that’s just…us._

“OK.”

Rin held the phone at arm’s length, looking for the right angle to get them both in the picture with the tank in the background.  A lump formed in his throat at the way Haru looked in his arms, so utterly content and happy in that quiet way of his.  Rin grinned but his vision was blurring as he took the picture.

“I think you blinked,” Haru said.

“I did not.”

“Here.  Let me do it.”  Haru took the phone from him, flicking through a couple of settings like he knew what he was doing, and snapped several frames while Rin held him with both arms.  “…There.”  Haru smiled as he handed the phone back.  “Those are better ones.”

“Haru…”  The astonishment was bleeding through in his voice and Haru blinked.

“What?  You remember I go to school for this, right?”

Rin chuckled, burying his face in Haru’s hair for their last few moments on the moving walkway.  “Yeah.”  He tightened his arms.

Haru’s hands settled on his arms—warm through the thin fabric of his sweatshirt, squeezing back.

-x-

Haru got to touch water on the upper floor of the aquarium, Rin standing back and watching his boyfriend pressed up at the edge of the tide pool, surrounded by a couple dozen kids.  It was all fine until he averted his eyes for _one second_ to check the time, then looked back to see Haru dropping his sweatshirt from his shoulders—

Rin lunged forward, making sure he grabbed an arm and not just a handful of the clothes Haru was intent on shedding, pulling him back from the water before the kids, parents, or aquarium officials realized what was happening.

“If you’re gonna strip, I’m gonna take you back to the hotel,” Rin whispered against Haru’s ear.

“Nn…”  Haru pulled away with an irritated look, righting his sweatshirt and glancing longingly at the water before heading towards a different exhibit.

One whole wall of the area was devoted to a penguin enclosure, but there were also smaller tanks and plastic models, hands-on activities and other kid stuff.  They stayed for a little while, then headed for the adjacent café, eating a light lunch on the terrace overlooking the marina.

Rin hated checking the time, but he had to.  It was closing in on noon already.  He looked up at Haru and didn’t have to say anything, certain that the somber look in Haru’s eyes was covering his whole face.  They wordlessly got up and bussed their dishes.

On the way out, they passed the entrance to the gift shop. 

“Oh…  Rin, just a sec,” Haru said, pulling away and heading into the colorful store before Rin could say anything.

He found Haru in front of a wall of stuffed animals, contemplating two different plush shark toys.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “I didn’t think you liked this stuff.”  Even as kid, Haru hadn’t really had plush toys in his room, at least that Rin had seen.  The closest thing was the dolphin figurine he kept in the bath.

“I don’t,” Haru said, putting one of them back.  “But I thought…it might be nice for tonight, when I have to go to bed without you.”

Rin’s breath caught, the ache spreading through his chest.  “Haru…”

“This one looks like you.”  Haru held out the plushy shark, in soft white and gray.

“How does it look like me?”  He dropped his hand, the limb falling limply to his side.  He glanced at the other options, but there weren’t any dolphins.  Not that he’d be caught dead with a stuffed animal, but…  _I would’ve bought one, if they had it._

Haru pointed at the row of jagged fabric teeth in the shark’s slightly open maw.

Rin exhaled, smiling, and Haru went to pay.

-x-

They got back to the hotel without having to rush, Rin silently packing up the rest of his things while Haru sat on the edge of the bed, watching with the stuffed shark in his arms.  The last item was on the nightstand.  Rin brushed his thumb over the etched surface of the Barcelona gold medal Haru had given him before tucking it safely into his gear bag.

“You’re traveling with another sponsor rep?” Haru asked.

“Yeah.”  Rin finished zipping up his suitcase.  “And one of our teammates, but they didn’t say who.”

“Oh.”

He turned, the heavy sigh falling from his lips.  He didn’t even want to voice it—forty days.  But as his eyes caught on Haru—Haru who had the bracelet on his wrist and a sober look in his eyes—Rin realized how different it was, saying goodbye this time.  Last time had been so desperate—both of them on the verge of panic, both of them falling apart.  The kiss they’d shared told him they weren’t what they used to be, but he hadn’t known then how he’d felt…and he hadn’t known Haru’s feelings either.

 _This_ time, though…  Rin was saying goodbye to his lover, his other half.  No longer pining for someday, because they were living it—they were _in_ it—and a few weeks weren’t going to change that.  So while the moment was sad, it was also full of the promise of things to come…and the memories of what had already happened between them.  Rin treasured both.

He still teared up though, smiling, and rubbed a hand across his eyes.  “Haru…I’m so glad I came.”

“Rin—”  The stuffed shark bounced on the bed as Haru tossed it aside and sprung to his feet—

Their arms tangled around each other and their lips met, the kiss full of all the same warm emotions.  As they melted together, Rin couldn’t help but think of _sakura_ petals, mild rain, and gentle wind…  Except the raindrops were the tears on his face and the petals were Haru’s fingertips, brushing them away.  After, they stood there with their foreheads pressed together, just breathing and holding each other.

When the room phone trilled, they quietly drew apart, sharing a soft look.  Rin knew they would be OK.

-x-

Haru came down with him to wait at the curb.  The clouds were yielding to the midday sun and the day was heating fast.

“Just two hours, huh?” Haru asked.

“A little over,” Rin said, one hand resting on the handle of his suitcase.  His other hand was laced with Haru’s.  “Nothing like you having to fly to Phoenix tomorrow, though.”

Haru shrugged.  “I’ll just sleep during the flights.”

Rin snorted.  _Yeah, I’m not fucking jealous or anything._   “What are you gonna do with the rest of your day off?”

“Mm.  Probably sketch or take some pictures for my class…” 

Haru’s words hung in the air, drawing Rin’s gaze.

Haru was looking at him askance, mischief in his eyes.  “You’re still not gonna model for me, Rin?”

Rin quirked a brow, lowering his voice to a tease.  “…Like nude?”

Haru’s gaze darkened a shade or two.  “Yup.”

“I guess that depends,” Rin said.

Haru’s eyes gleamed.  “I’ll make it worth your while.”

Rin grinned, leaning in for Haru’s lips—

A car pulled up to the curb.

Rin settled for a peck against Haru’s cheek.  “Oh, I guess—”

The back door opened and Rin caught a glimpse of blinding yellow—

“Rin-senpai!  Rin-senpai!”  Momo bounded out of the car like an excited puppy, running around them in circles.  “We’re gonna be roommates!”

Rin cringed.  _Oh God._

Beside him, Haru made a noise of amusement that was almost a laugh.  “Hm.  Have fun, Rin.”

Rin exhaled with audible exasperation, letting go of Haru’s hand so he could drag his suitcase to the rear of the vehicle.  He loaded it and closed the trunk, while Momo continued to bounce along the curb in a bright yellow hoodie, white pants, and sneakers as orange as his hair.  “Momo!  Get back in the car!”  How could the kid be this fucking hyper after a whole day of traveling?  _How much caffeine and sugar did they give you?_

“Hai!”  Momo grinned, jumping into the vehicle.

The sponsor rep—a woman in a blouse and slacks, got out of the back seat through the opposite door and walked around to the passenger side of the vehicle.  She gave Rin a look that needed no translation— _That is now your problem_ —and slipped into the front seat.  She donned noise-canceling headphones and closed the door.

“Text me later, Rin.  So I know you survived.”  Rin could hear the smirk in Haru’s voice.

“ _Tch_.”  He whirled.  “I’ll wipe that smug look off your face—”

Haru’s eyes glittered at him, like, _Do it._

Rin kissed Haru like he meant it, with his fingers clutching a fistful of silken hair and their tongues sliding together briefly.  When he drew back, they hugged tightly.

There was a sad smile in Haru’s eyes as he reached up, touching Rin’s face.  “…See you in forty days, Rin.”

“Yeah.”

One last brush of lips and Rin pulled away…

Momo was hanging out of the open car door, his eyes bugged and his mouth gaping.

Rin got a hand on the kid’s head and shoved.  “Sit down and strap in.  You didn’t see anything.”  He pulled the door closed, fastening his seatbelt and waving at Haru through the window.  Haru waved back as the car pulled away from the curb…

“Rin-senpai, are you in love with Nanase-senpai?” Momo asked.

Rin sighed. 

Before he could formulate a response, Momo kept talking, his voice now a hushed whisper.  “Are you having sex?”

 _Nn!_   “Momo!”  Rin grabbed the kid in a headlock, his face heating.  “Shut up or I won’t take you stag beetle hunting when we get to France.”

“Yay!  Stag beetle hunting!”  Momo grinned at him with starry eyes.  “I wanna get a nice one to send to your sister.”

 _This is gonna be the longest two and a half hours of my life._   He released the kid and sat back, rubbing his forehead.

“Rin-senpai, do you want a snack?  Mika-nee-chan gave me—”  He opened the backpack he had with him, the interior filled with sweets.

_Oh, merciful what…?_

-x-

Momo sugar-crashed about 30 minutes into the car trip, slumping on Rin’s shoulder and snoring softly.  But at least it was quiet from that point on.  Rin flicked through the pictures Haru had taken on his phone, the difference in quality striking compared to his attempt.  In the best one, they were both smiling—Haru in that rare, little way of his that seemed to be less rare, these days—the two of them looking happy, content, and unmistakably together.  He’d have to send Haru a copy tonight, when he had a chance to log on to wireless and access his email.

The drive was long stretches of low hills and the occasional town…gradually turning to tree-covered mountains and higher elevations.  The sunlight blazing down on the evergreens and rocky slopes was pretty…but he wished Haru was here to see it with him, rather than the kid who was currently passed out and drooling on his sleeve. 

They went through the 5km _T_ _únel del Cad_ _í_ , which was as dark as driving at night, and spilled out into daylight that had Rin blinking as his eyes adjusted.  The highway turned northeast and they were headed into France…then up narrow switch-backed roads that slowly climbed brush-covered hills.  They drove through a ski resort town, though the only snow this time of year was far in the distance on the mountain peaks, stopping once to drop off the sponsor rep at a local hotel before continuing their slow, upward trek. 

Rin was stiff by the time the training facility came into view—parking lots, a track, fields, and a couple of tall white buildings set amongst evergreen trees. 

He nudged the sleeping lump on his shoulder.  “ _Oi_ , Momo.  Wake up.”

“Nn…don’t wanna.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  They pulled up to the curb in front of a sprawling single-story complex; Coach Maekawa was waiting on the sidewalk in her Team Japan warmups. 

Rin dumped the kid off his shoulder as he opened the door and got out.  “Maekawa-sensei—”

Momo sucked air, suddenly awake and trying to shove Rin out of the way in his haste to bound out of the vehicle.  “Maekawa-sensei!”

Rin grabbed a handful of the kid’s hoodie, keeping him from launching himself at their coach.

“Huh.”  Maekawa folded her arms, her long brown hair falling in loose waves to her shoulders.  “Would’ve thought he’d have crashed by now, after a full day of travel.”

“He napped in the car,” Rin said. 

“Hehe.”  Momo grinned, rubbing the back of his head.

“Fabulous.”  She sighed.  “Well, glad you both made it.  You’ll have a half-hour to get settled in, then you’re with me at the pool.”

“Hai,” Rin said.  He bowed low.  “Maekawa-sensei, thank you.”

“Save it for the pool, Matsuoka,” she said, but he caught a glimpse of her faint smile as he straightened.  “Let’s get going.”

“Hai.”

-x-

It was slightly cooler here than in Barcelona; more noticeable was the taste of the thinner air at 1850 meters of elevation and how even hauling his suitcase up the steps in front of the building left him feeling winded.  He and Momo were to share a room on the sixth floor of the central housing building, with two small beds, red drapes over narrow windows with views of the snow-capped _Pyr_ _én_ _ées_ , and their own bathroom.

Momo was running around looking at everything.  “Rin-senpai, what’s this?”

Rin unpacked his gear bag, starting to strip off his clothes so he could change.  “That’s a radiator.  For heat.”

Momo bounced on the bed, then disappeared into the bathroom, his voice coming back through the partially open door.  “Rin-senpai!  There’s a funny, extra toilet in here.”

“That’s not a toilet, dummy.  It’s a bidet.”  Rin tugged on his leg skins while the kid was otherwise occupied, securing the cord tie at his waist.  He sighed, looking at the bracelet on his wrist, hating that he had to take it off.

“What’s it for?”

“Like a Japanese one.  It’s just separate.”

“Ohhhh.”

Rin carefully pulled the leather ties free, tucking the bracelet into the inside pocket of his gear bag, next to Haru’s Barcelona gold.  He started pulling on his warmups…and then realized it had gotten quiet.  That couldn’t be a good sign.

“…Momo?”  He slipped his arms into the sleeves of his warmup jacket, heading towards the bathroom but not going in.

“…Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just, uh…”  There was a splash of water and a muffled squeal.  “Ahh!  It’s cold!”

Rin rubbed a hand over his face.  _I’m not going in there._ “Get your ass out here and get changed.  We’re gonna be late.”

“Ahh, how do you turn it off?”

“The same way you turned it on!”

Momo wailed.  “Rin-senpai, I need help…”

“I am _not_ going in there unless you have your pants on.”

“Err…  OK, now?”

 _Damnit, Momo_.

-x-

The 50m pool was in a separate building, a short walk across the campus.  It had six lanes and a long wall of floor-to-ceiling windows with square panes set in bright blue frames.  Coach Fujino and Assistant Coach Maekawa were already there, working with Otani and Sugiyama.

“Otani-san!  Sugiyama-senpai!”  Momo bounded towards the blocks, waving, in his speedo and swim cap.

Rin caught the kid’s arm.  “Don’t run in here, idiot.”

“Awww.”

Maekawa broke away to join them, wearing a black T-shirt with her warmup pants, her jacket tied around her hips.  “Momotarou-kun, start with your warmups, OK?”

“Hai hai!”  The kid stretched his goggles onto his head and jumped into the pool, warming up with backstroke instead of free, like usual.

“Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hai.”  Rin met her gaze, his cap and goggles clutched in his right hand.

Maekawa smiled at him.  “I’m guessing you’d like to go breathless in the fifty free?”

Rin exhaled.  “Yeah, I would.”

She nodded.  “We’ll work up to it, but expect to take things slow because of the altitude.  I’ll have the set for you, after warmups.”

“Thanks.”  Rin headed for the block—

“Is that arm bothering you?”

 _Shit_.  Rin paused, glancing back at his coach.  _Don’t blush.  Don’t fucking blush._ “No, it’s fine,” he said, hoping he sounded normal.  It was a bit stiff, but he’d made sure to stretch properly…

Maekawa nodded.  “Alright.”  She twirled a red dry erase marker across her knuckles and turned for the whiteboard.

Relieved, Rin climbed onto the block in the lane next to Momo, making quick work of his cap and goggles before he dove.  The cool water soothed the heat gathering in his face.

…He was winded long before he should’ve been and had to take an unscheduled break partway through Maekawa’s set.  _Fuck._   Rin clung to the side of the pool, drawing full breaths of the thin air.  Knowing it was the altitude effects didn’t make it any less frustrating that his body couldn’t do what he wanted it to. 

“Matsuoka, I know it’s difficult for you, but try to take it easy,” Maekawa said, standing next to the block with a slight frown.  “I mean it.”

“Hai.”  He managed to nod.

In the lane on his left, Momo was draped over the line, looking tired.  “Maekawa-sensei, can I go to the bathroom?”

“Momotarou-kun, you just went.”  Maekawa folded her arms, sighing as she moved off.

Rin tugged his goggles down to his throat, turning and looking down the lane as he continued to catch his breath.  Fifty meters suddenly felt so much longer than it should’ve.

Sugiyama surfaced in the other adjacent lane, pausing before climbing out of the pool.  “Someone must’ve been busy in Barcelona,” he murmured with a smirk and hoisted himself from the water.

 _Wow, I didn’t miss you, you fucking prick._   Rin gripped the wall with white knuckles, his jaw tight.  But he calmed himself with a slow breath…and bared his teeth in a grin that was anything but kind.  “It’s a hell of a way to wake up.”  He glanced up at the guy.  “You should try it sometime.” 

Sugiyama stilled, his face going _white_ with fury—

“Knock it off, you two,” Maekawa said, returning with a cool look.  “Matsuoka, if you can talk, you can swim.”

“ _Sumimasen_.”  He pressed his goggles into place and got back to work.

-x-

The dining hall was in yet another building on the west side of the campus with panoramic views of the surrounding mountains.  Rin sat with Momo and Otani at dinner on the end of one long table, the place crowded with other athletes.  He caught snatches of several different languages in conversations around them.

“So…Matsuoka-kun…”  Otani was turning a half-full juice cup in her hands, blushing a little.  Her damp, light brown hair was caught up in a bun.  “I, uh, thought that picture of you and Nanase-kun was pretty cute.”

Rin choked on a sip of milk.  He set the glass down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“You know, from the finals…”  She smiled, her blush deepening.  “When he gave you the medal.  It was so…so _sweet_.”  Otani sighed happily, looking away.

_What?_

Momo wasn’t paying attention.  The kid was so busy staring at a group of girls at a nearby table that he kept not eating for long stretches of time, his fork hovering in the air between the plate and his mouth.

“I mean, I _thought_ you two weren’t just friends,” Otani said.  “But it wasn’t until right then that I was sure.  And then, after the fifty free—”  Her face turned bright red like she might explode with glee.

 _Uhh…_   Rin dug his phone out from the pocket of his gear bag, his face hotter by the second.  “Um, what’s the wifi?”

“Oh, here…”  Otani pulled out her phone, reading it off to him.

Rin connected and started his messages downloading.  He set the phone down, drumming his fingers on the table top.  _Oh, God…_   _I knew we weren’t alone.  I knew it the whole damn time, I just didn’t care…_   It didn’t bother him—people knowing how he felt about Haru, but he hadn’t exactly intended for it to get out like—

“Umm…”  Otani’s voice shrank to that of a mouse.  “You…didn’t see it…yet?”

“My phone was off all weekend.”  And this was exactly why he’d done it, but…

He had nearly a hundred messages and even though most of them were spam…  He clicked on the first one with an attachment, which happened to be from Takara.

_[What the fuck are you doing in Barcelona?!?!]_

The picture loaded and Rin’s breath caught…  Not because he was embarrassed, but because he _wasn’t_.  _It’s us…_  

The photo was a close-up, taken from the side, right at the moment Haru laid the gold medal around his neck.  The camera caught the soft, astonished look on Rin’s face—and it was obvious from his eyes that he was about to fucking lose it.  Haru looked so _happy_ and _in love…_  

Rin’s throat closed with heat.  Even though they hadn’t said the words at that point, it was a declaration of love in actions, neither of them needing to hide it or wanting to pull away, neither of them ashamed.  It was perfect and precious, the emotions welling up in Rin’s heart.

Suddenly he wasn’t upset with himself anymore, about blurting out ‘I love you’ on the pool deck after Haru’s fifty free.  _You were right—it’s us.  I guess we’re just that ridiculous._   Rin smiled.  _Because love makes people do crazy, stupid things._

He stalled for a few seconds to gather himself, saving the picture as his lock screen with a couple of taps, before he met Otani’s gaze again.  “Ah, nope.  I hadn’t seen that one.”

Her face softened into a bright smile, her cheeks still pink.

-x-

Momo passed out on top of the covers not long after they got back to their room, in bright orange pajamas with little cutesy otters on them.  He didn’t stir when Rin draped a blanket over him, as if all the traveling and altitude had finally caught up with him.

Rin wrapped up some ice for his elbow, grabbed his phone, and settled on his bed with just the small bedside lamp on, in Haru’s dolphin T-shirt and his sleep pants.  His bracelet was back on his wrist where it belonged.  His inbox was still full of unread messages—he’d sorted through the spam already, saving the personal messages until he could be alone.  Rin tapped through the photo on his lock screen, checking his emails first.

Pretty much everyone had written him, most attaching the same pic and a few linking to YouTube, where someone had gotten the end of the fifty free, the announcer’s excited Spanish, and a wide-angle shot of their embrace from across the pool.  _There I am, crying on the internet._ He cringed the first time he saw it, even though Haru had been wet enough from the pool that no one would be able to tell he had actual tears on his face. 

But after watching it a few more times, the self-consciousness faded and he just missed Haru.  He missed resting his arms on Haru’s shoulders while Haru lightly touched his hips.  He missed the way water droplets shimmered in Haru’s hair, picking up the sunlight, and he missed _all_ of the looks in Haru’s eyes, from flat astonished to playful to affectionate to…assertive— 

 _Argh.  Fuck._   Lying back, Rin switched back to his mail app…

 _[Looks like you figured it out, huh?]_ Sousuke wrote.  _[I’m glad.]_   He’d linked to the video.

Nitori attached the pic.  _[Rin-senpai, is this from Barcelona?  You weren’t supposed to be in Barcelona.  I have your whole itinerary.  How did you get to Barcelona?  Did I miss you swimming???]_

 _[Way to go, Onii-chan!  Your biceps look fantastic, though not as good as Haruka-senpai’s triceps.]_   Gou had attached a screencap from the video.

Lori just sent a text.  _[Russell and I always suspected you had a crush on Haru.  And when you brought him to Sydney, we just knew.  We are so happy for you both!]_

It didn’t surprise him that they would’ve been the first to figure it out.  _Way before I did._   Rin wrote back.  _[Thanks, Lori.  Give my regards to Russell, too.]_

He tapped on the next message…

_[Matsuoka, be sure to take care of my little bro in France.  Don’t let him have too much sugar.]_

_…Yeah, could you tell your sister that?_

Nagisa sent a group text to him, Haru, and Rei.  He’d included the picture and found three different versions of the kiss video.  _[Haru-chan, Rin-chan!  Hehehe.  When’s the wedding?]_

_[Nagisa-kun, I’m sure Haruka-senpai and Rin-senpai don’t appreciate your presumptions.  I am certain that when they are ready to discuss such details, they will let us know.  Furthermore, it would obviously have to be a spring wedding when the cherry blossoms are the most beautiful.]_

_[Rei-chan, it’s so cute when you text me when we’re sitting right next to each other.  I think Haru-chan would want to get married in a pool.]_

_[Nagisa-kun, you started it!  …A pool full of cherry blossoms would be quite beautiful, however, the mechanics of it would make for an extremely impractical ceremony.]_

Rin rolled his eyes and tapped a reply.  _[Don’t give up your studies, you two.]_

He saved his mom’s message for last…

 _[Rin-honey, why didn’t you tell me you and Haruka were seeing each other?  You two look so happy together!]_ He could just hear the squeal in her voice.  _[I invited Mr. & Mrs. Nanase over for coffee the next time they’re in town.]_ 

 _Oh, great._ Rin winced.

_[Take care, honey, and train hard!  I’ll be watching you swim in Rome!]_

_[P.S. Safe sex in Rio.]_

_Mom!_  

Rin tossed the phone down, his face burning as he stared up at the ceiling.  Well, people knew.  And given that all of those messages were dated Sunday, it was telling that he didn’t have a single email from his coaches or his sponsors.  Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara hadn’t said anything either.  _So we must not be in trouble…_   Even though it was all in uniform.

The only person he hadn’t heard from was Makoto, but then, he didn’t really expect to…

His phone trilled softly and Rin retrieved it, smiling at the picture of Haru on the lock screen before he answered the Skype call.  “Hey.”

Haru was in bed, lying on his side in Rin’s shark T-shirt with the shark plush-toy hugged to his chest.  _“Hey.”_

“Let me switch to my tablet.”

_“OK.”_

Rin took a minute to set everything up, then stretched out on his side on top of the covers with the tablet next to him.  He felt it again—instantly—the distance between them.  _Forty fucking days…_

Rin sighed and adjusted his cold pack.  “How’s your knee?”

 _“Colorful.”_   Haru shifted a little and Rin heard ice and plastic, muffled by the covers.  _“It doesn’t hurt, though.  How’s your arm?”_

“About the same.”  Rin pressed his lips.  “…Word’s out, I guess.”

 _“Yeah, I saw,”_ Haru said.

“Even our parents…”

_“You mom’s OK with it?”_

Rin nodded, tucking his elbow—the uninjured one—beneath his head like a pillow.  “Yeah.  How’d your parents take it?”

_“Oh, I told them like a week ago.”_

Rin blinked.  “A week ago?”

Haru shrugged, the plush shark’s nose beneath his chin.  _“It was after you said you wanted to be official, so I figured it was OK.  They were bugging me about Takara again, so I just told them.”_

Rin lifted a brow.  “And?”

_“They’re fine.  They’re happy for us.”_

“They’re…fine?”

_“They said when I was eight, I wanted to marry a waterfall I saw on a hiking trip.  So they said this is better.”_

_Haru, really?_   Rin snorted.  “I rate one step above a waterfall, huh?”

Haru’s eyes softened with affection.  _“I love you more than water, Rin.”_

That look melted him every time.  Rin swallowed against a rush of emotion.  “I love you, too.”  He held Haru’s gaze for a bit longer, then sighed, glancing at the toy tucked so snugly in Haru’s arms.  “Way to make me jealous of a stuffed animal, Haru.”

_“It’s a poor substitute, if that makes you feel better.”_

He smiled.  “Yeah.  A little.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a hilarious comic once where little!Haru announced to his parents he was going to marry the water and have water babies; a conversation his parents remembered when he later introduced Rin to them in typically blunt Haru fashion. I wish I could find it again so I could link it here!


	18. Daydreaming desert free

Tuesday, June 14th, 2016

* * *

Walking out of the airport in Phoenix, Haru wasn’t expecting the wall of heat that slammed him in the face.  He drew a breath of the hot, dry air that was sucking the moisture from his body, squinting as his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight.  His skin was already sizzling—every part that wasn’t covered by his T-shirt and shorts.  _Is this what toast feels like?_  

“Shade…”  Konishi dragged her suitcase into an area of the curb that was sheltered by a concrete overhang and fanned herself with one hand, looking miserable and as tired as Haru felt.

He followed his teammates, adjusting the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder and tugging his suitcase.  He was laden down with water bottles that Coach Akagi had purchased and passed out, the liquid sloshing around in his bag as he moved.  There was a digital board in the distance, numerals flashing between time and temperature.  4:51pm and…98 degrees?  That couldn’t be right.  _Oh._ Haru caught the ‘F’ on a second glance.  _Fahrenheit._ He didn’t know what that equated to in Celsius.  Something hot. 

Next to him, Ozawa started spraying herself down with sunscreen, generously coating her arms and legs.  Haru backed away from the sticky spray, exhaling through his nostrils to get rid of the chemical smell.

“Good idea, Ozawa-san,” Captain Ikehara said, pausing to dig in his bag.  He came up with a blue tube and started applying sunscreen in lotion form.  “You should do it too, Nanase-kun.”

_Nn._

Ozawa passed the spray to Konishi when she was done and donned a pair of sunglasses.  “You’ll burn if you don’t.”

“ _Nn_ …”  Haru pushed his hands into his pockets.

“You don’t get to swim with a bad sunburn, Nanase-kun,” Coach Akagi said, not looking up from whatever he was checking on his phone.  “We’ll make you stay inside and lie around covered in aloe.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  The look on his face must’ve been telling, because Ozawa and Konishi both chuckled.

Captain Ikehara smiled.  “Lotion or spray?”  He offered the blue tube.

Haru pursed his lips.  “Spray,” he said quietly.

-x-

An air-conditioned shuttle took them from the airport to the hotel, Haru looking out the window at the flat landscape and short, tufted trees and shrubs.  There were hills in the distance like he’d seen from the airplane—stacks of red-brown rock here and there like piles of children’s blocks.  In a river that ran along the highway, he caught a glimpse of water, but there was so little blue and so much dusty earth that Haru’s throat felt parched just looking at it.  He quenched his thirst with long swallows of water from one of his bottles, averting his eyes.  _I don’t think I could live here._

They turned off the highway to broad surface streets, perfectly level.  There were a few taller trees here—mostly palm trees—and very little grass.  Most of the landscaping seemed to be done with rocks instead, red ones and white ones that shimmered in the sun.  A couple of green bushes they passed had thin, fern-like leaves and stalks of small flowers in fiery red clusters…  Haru couldn’t help but compare the color to Rin’s eyes.  He sighed softly, drinking again.

Their destination was a beige building with maybe a dozen stories, surrounded by swaths of irrigated green grass and tall, spindly palms, as if it were designed to resemble an oasis in the middle of the desert.  The shuttle pulled up to the entryway and they all piled out into the heat to gather their bags. 

 _I’ll have to buy sunglasses_.  Haru shaded his eyes as he waited to grab his suitcase from the back of the vehicle.  Somehow, the sun felt closer here than anywhere else he’d ever been.  Whether it actually was or not, he didn’t know.  _Rei might know._   Haru only paid attention in his high school science classes when it involved water. 

As soon as they had all their stuff, they headed inside, into the cool reprieve of the air-conditioned lobby.  The place was spacious with dark wood, high white ceilings, and accent walls in golden yellow.  There was soft lighting and lots of seating—leather chairs, sofas, and small tables.  A bar was off to the left and a tiled floor led to the front desk.  Conversations around him were in English—a few adults and families. 

After check-in, Coach Akagi handed out their room keys.  “You’re on your own for tonight,” he said, looking as tired as the rest of them.  “Get some sleep.  Our first practice is 10am tomorrow.”  He folded his arms, his earring catching the light as he moved.  “I’ll be up until Mikoshiba-kun, Sakamoto-san, and Nakagawa-san arrive and get settled.  Let me know if you need anything in the meantime.”  He glanced at Haru.  “We’ll try not to wake you, Nanase-kun.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head in acknowledgement.  He was rooming with Mikoshiba, this time.

“That’s it,” Akagi said.  He pointed down the hall.  “There’s a restaurant if you’re hungry.  Pool’s outside.  If you leave the hotel for any reason, text me and let me know.”

 _Pool_ …  More than the accumulated fatigue, Haru could feel it that he’d been out of the water for a whole day.  He tugged on the collar of his T-shirt, his skin sticky with sunscreen, his clothes feeling gritty. 

They boarded the elevator…

Haru’s room was on the 6th floor, down the hall from Captain Ikehara and Coach Akagi.  He opened the door with his keycard and headed inside.

The room was huge compared to any other hotel he’d stayed at.  There were two double beds a good meter apart—and these _did_ look bolted down—and the carpet was a pattern of beige swirls against dark brown.  There was a dresser, desk, and an armchair with an ottoman in front of the window.  The bathroom had a long, granite counter, a large tub with a shower, and yet another simple toilet.  Across from the bathroom was a closet with sliding mirrors for doors.

Haru had roomed with Mikoshiba a handful of times during Koutei training camps at the NTC and whenever they traveled for competitions.  The guy wasn’t picky about beds.  Mikoshiba tended to crash at 9pm and wakeup early without fail; aside from sleeping, he rarely spent time confined to a hotel room.  And he hadn’t once commented about finding Haru lazing in the bath.  He was an easy roommate.

Haru set his suitcase next to the bed by the window—the one Rin would’ve taken.  The double bed was bigger than his bed in his Tokyo apartment—Rin’s too.  _We would’ve both fit_.  He sighed, slipping the strap of his messenger bag over his head, but didn’t sit down.  The window overlooked the pool downstairs—clear, blue water set amidst tall palm trees.  He grabbed his phone, keycard, and a water bottle, and left the room.

-x-

Haru swam for a few minutes, staying in the deeper end of the pool where it was less crowded.  The leisure pool was shaped like an infinity symbol with straight edges.  There wasn’t enough room to swim free, but it was bigger than a bathtub, anyway.  He floated with his eyes closed, not bothered by occasional splashes from a pack of squealing kids doing cannonballs nearby, the water alleviating the worst of the heat. 

When he started to feel the effects of the sun on his skin, Haru retreated to the shade, sitting on the edge of the pool in his jammers with his legs dangling in the water.  The bruise on his knee was already starting to fade, or at least it blended in better now than yesterday.  If his teammates noticed, they hadn’t commented.  Any one of them could’ve done the math on when it happened, though he wouldn’t have admitted _how_. 

He logged onto the hotel’s wireless with his phone.  It was just after 3am in Barcelona and in France, where Rin was.  Haru’s body seemed to agree that he should be sleeping, but he couldn’t go to bed without letting everyone know he’d got in OK.

He snapped a photo to send to Rin—of the pool and a couple palm trees—and emailed it so he wouldn’t accidentally wake Rin up.  _[It’s hot here.]_

Back home in Japan, it was 10am.  Haru sent a text to his parents.  _[I’m here in Phoenix.]_

He tapped over to his texts with Makoto…and hesitated.  Their previous conversation stared back at him from gray and green bubbles.

_[Rin’s coming to Barcelona until Monday.  I’m gonna have my phone off.  I wanted to let you know, so you didn’t worry.  You can get a hold of me through Coach Akagi if you need to.]_

_[OK, Haru.  Thanks for letting me know.  I hope the two of you have a good time.]_

Makoto’s next message was dated Sunday.  _[It looks like things are going well, Haru.  I’m happy for you.]_

Haru wrote back on Monday afternoon, after Rin left for France _.  [Thanks, Makoto.]_

_[You’re traveling tomorrow, right?  To Phoenix?]_

_[Yeah.]_

_[It’s supposed to be hot there.  Text me when you get in, OK?]_

_[Yeah, I will.]_

…All those text messages made it seem like Makoto was perfectly fine, like everything was normal between them.  But Haru knew better.  The silence on both ends was deep, speaking volumes of things unsaid.  This weekend wasn’t the first time Haru had withdrawn from Makoto.  He withdrew from the world regularly, his best friend included.  Makoto always knew when he needed the space and when it wasn’t good for him to be alone.  But this was different, the way he purposely closed Makoto out so he could spend time with Rin.  Warning Makoto in advance only made it more obvious—things were changing.  As best friends, it was hard enough, but for Makoto…

Water dripped from Haru’s hair to his ears.  He shook his head to cast some of it off and looked down at a screen shimmering with tiny, scattered droplets.  He knew how Makoto felt about him—he’d known for years.  Since middle school, probably, when he first noticed the way Makoto would get shy around him at odd moments or blush after touching his hand.  …And how Makoto used to get upset when somebody asked or teased him about it.  For the same length of time, Haru knew he didn’t share those feelings.  Makoto was dearly important to him and if anyone had ever asked, he wouldn’t have hesitated to say he loved Makoto.  He _loved_ Makoto but it was never the same way Makoto loved him.  Even before he realized he was in love with Rin, he knew the difference.  He tried once, at Makoto’s request.  It was in autumn, when the leaves on the gingko trees along _Hongo Dori_ were golden like his best friend’s hair.  But the feeling of Makoto’s lips on his was only warmth and kindness, like family.  There was no spark, no ignition, no sweet overture to something _more_. 

Haru sighed, looking up at the cloudless blue sky.  Makoto said he got over it, after that.  Haru believed him…until April came and Rin was back.  The more time he and Rin spent together, the more Haru noticed the subtle shift in the way Makoto looked at him, the quiet _loss_ in soft green eyes and the recognition that their relationship would be different going forward.  He did think Makoto had accepted the fact that his feelings weren’t going to suddenly reverse and sync up…but he harbored no illusions that seeing that poolside embrace in Barcelona hadn’t hurt.  It was why he’d sent that text, letting Makoto know that Rin would be there.  Makoto was the only one he’d told.  _I don’t like hurting you._ He hated hurting Makoto as much as he hated fighting with Makoto.  Both felt like drowning. 

Relationships were stupid like that, growing up was hard, and change was painful.  But what he felt for Rin, he wasn’t willing to give up.  _Maybe that makes me selfish._ Haru dropped his gaze to the bracelet on his right wrist, the leather wet from the water, the shark and dolphin glossy.  _But I’ve always been selfish when it comes to Rin._

Haru’s phone had gone dark.  He woke it up, his lock screen a picture of the pool in Sydney, and entered his passcode.  His wallpaper was a photo that wasn’t supposed to exist—a picture of him and Rin curled up in bed together—Haru in the shark T-shirt and Rin in his usual tank top, the two of them face-to-face and out cold, arms loosely draped around each other’s waists, their hair messy against Haru’s pillow.  As far as Rin knew, they’d never gotten caught napping together during training camp at the NTC.  Captain Ikehara had been cool about it.  In exchange for his promise that the captain would never walk in on the two of them getting ‘busy,’ Haru got to keep the photo.  After that, Captain Ikehara took to being very specific about his schedule…

Ikehara’s offer in Barcelona was probably as much a defense against the same as it was a courtesy.  Haru didn’t care either way.  He was just grateful— _really_ grateful.

Haru brushed the water from the screen and switched over to Skype, just to check…  Next to Makoto’s name, there was a small green dot.  _You wouldn’t be logged on if you were in class…_   Drawing a deep breath, Haru touched his best friend’s name to call and lifted the phone to his ear—

It only rang once before the voice call connected.  _“Haru?  Is everything OK?”_

“Yeah.  Things are fine.  I wanted to let you know I got here.”

 _“Oh.”_   Makoto hummed.  _“I thought you’d text.”_

“I saw you were online.”  He heard a door open and close.

 _“I’m between classes.  I was studying in the library.”_  

Haru lifted his brows.  “Then I shouldn’t have—”

_“It’s OK.  I’m in the hallway outside, now.  I’m not disturbing anyone.”_

Haru pressed his lips, listening to the soothing, familiar tones of Makoto’s voice.  He’d only been keeping track of the time he and Rin had been apart, but this was the longest he’d ever been away from Makoto since they were kids.  _First training camp and now this…_

_“…Haru?”_

“It’s…nice to hear your voice.”

Makoto made a soft sound, like an audible smile.  _“You too.  It’s been a while since we talked.  I know you don’t like the phone.”_

It was true—he didn’t.  Other than calls to and from Rin, he could count on one hand the number of times he’d talked to other people over the phone since leaving Japan.  Usually a text or email was fine.  _But I wanted to make sure you were OK._

 _“Haru…”_   Makoto’s voice quieted.  _“Are you sure?”_

He didn’t know how to ask, though.  He wanted to, but…the words just weren’t there.

_“You miss him, I bet.”_

“…Yeah.”  That was true.

Makoto exhaled.  _“Some people would probably say it’s worse this way, having to say goodbye a second time.  I don’t think so, though.  I think…  Barcelona was really important to both of you, wasn’t it?”_

Haru gripped the phone, tensing.  “Makoto—”  _I’m sorry you had to see it like that.  I’m sorry it hurt you._

There was a pause on the other end of the line—a long, silent moment that stretched between them as the seconds ticked by.

 _“Haru…”_   Makoto’s voice was just above a whisper.  _“You’re happy, right?”_

“Yeah,” Haru said, warmth stinging his eyes.  “I’m really happy.”

Makoto drew a breath…and let it out slowly.  _“That’s all I needed to hear.  It’s OK, Haru.  I’m OK.”_

 _Makoto._   Haru’s shoulders loosened as relief flooded him.  He ran a hand over his face, his fingers shaking slightly and skin still tacky with sunscreen. 

_“Haru?”_

“Hm?”

Makoto’s voice was gentle with fondness and affection.  _“You’re tired.  Go to bed.”_

Haru smiled faintly.  “Yeah.”

_“Text me tomorrow, OK?”_

“I will.”

Haru lowered the phone, the screen darkening beneath his thumb.  If not for Makoto…he wouldn’t be here.  He wouldn’t have gotten on that first airplane; he wouldn’t have come back from those moments in high school and middle school that had shattered him.  Every time Rin left for Australia, every time Rin had shut him out and all he wanted to do was stay in the water until it didn’t hurt anymore…Makoto was there.  Sometimes…  _I wonder if I would know what love is, if you hadn’t shown me first._

* * *

Wednesday, June 15th, 2016

* * *

Haru was wide awake at 5am, a whole two hours before he’d set his alarm to go off.  He frowned at the red numerals on the bedside clock and rolled over, squishing the stuffed shark beneath him as he reached for his phone on the nightstand.  The room was still dark and his groping hand found the switch panel for the lamp before settling on his phone.  Judging by the cool, blue light edging the drawn curtains, the sun wasn’t even up yet.  Haru turned over onto his back with the stuffed shark hugged to his chest. 

Mikoshiba was snoring softly on the other bed, lying on his stomach on top of the covers, in a pair of briefs, only.  Like usual.

Haru pulled the covers over his head, ducking underneath with his phone.  The screen glowed as he checked his messages.

There was an email from Rin with a picture of tree-covered mountain peaks and greenery.  _[Pyrénées-Orientales.  How hot is hot?]_

Haru switched apps to do the conversion.  _[37 degrees C, yesterday.]_   It was…2pm in France.  Rin would probably be at swim practice or at the gym.  It was going to be rough—being in vastly different time zones again.  Haru sighed, poking his head out briefly for cooler air.  His throat was parched, but he’d exhausted the water bottle on the nightstand before going to bed. 

He got up to use the bathroom, pouring himself a glass of water from the tap.  He drank two and a half cups before he felt sated, bringing a third cupful back to the bed with him.  The indicator light on his phone blinked with a new message. 

Haru climbed into bed, sitting back against the wooden headboard.  If his trip to the bathroom hadn’t been enough to wake Mikoshiba, the light from his phone wouldn’t do it either. 

Rin had texted back.  _[You’re up, huh?]_

Haru settled with the shark plush in his lap.  _[Yeah.  I slept like 9 hours, though.  Better than Norway.]_

_[Hmph.]_

_[How’s day two at altitude?]_

_[Sucks worse than day one.  Taper was a picnic compared to this.]_   Haru could picture the scowl on Rin’s face.

_[Taper was the best part of training camp.  We got to nap a lot.]_

_[Which is why this sucks so bad!  You’re not here, the air’s thin, Coach Maekawa’s trying her hardest to kill me, and keeping Momo away from coffee and sugar AND GIRLS is a full-time job.]_

Haru smiled.  _[Could be worse, Rin.  At least you’re busy.]_

 _[Yeah…]_   Rin was pouting, he was sure of it.  _[I want to hug you.]_

_[You can’t feel it when I hug the stuffed shark?]_

_[No, I can’t fucking feel that.  It’s not a voodoo doll, you idiot.]_

_[That’s too bad.]_   He squeezed the toy with his arms.  _[I’m holding it real tight…]_

_[Damnit, Haru, don’t tease me right now.  I can’t take it.]_

He stopped, letting the shark drop back to his lap.  _[You’re not feeling well, Rin?]_

There was a short pause.  _[Fuck.  How do you know?  It’s just a headache.  Effects of the altitude.  They said it would wear off in a day or two.  Word of advice, don’t go balls-out breathless in the fifty your first day in Flagstaff.  Even on two breaths this morning I was tanking hard.]_

 _[OK.]_   _I’ll try to remember._   Haru drew his knees up, resting his elbows against his legs as he texted back, the stuffed shark nestled in the crook of his arms.   _[Feel better, Rin.  Should I let you go rest?]_

_[Nah.  Talking to you helps.]_

Haru felt a warm glow of pleasure.

_[Tell me more about Phoenix.]_

_[It’s flat.  Sprawling.  Very red-brown.  It’s hot, like, surface-of-the-sun hot.  And…]_  

-x-

Haru was sketching by a sliver of light from the window when Mikoshiba popped awake around 6:30am.  The guy stretched his arms over his head, joints popping, and wandered into the bathroom, still barely clothed.  Haru was dressed, wearing his favorite pair of jammers and a Team Japan T-shirt that was primarily white and black with one royal blue sleeve.

A couple of minutes later, Mikoshiba came back and Haru closed the cover on his sketchbook, over the start of a drawing of Barceloneta Beach.

“You could’ve turned on a light, Nanase-kun,” Mikoshiba said, donning the same Team Japan T-shirt and tossing a pair of matching shorts and a speedo onto the bed.   

“Hn.”  Haru shrugged, getting up to put away his pencils and other supplies while Mikoshiba finished dressing.  He stopped by the window to open the drapes, letting daylight into the room.  “Congrats on the 10k.”

“Hey, thanks!  You too!  Two new national records.”  Mikoshiba was grinning when Haru turned around.  “Matsuoka must be jealous.”  He laughed, folding his arms across his chest.  “Though he looked pretty excited with you smashing his records.  Because it’s you, I guess.  Watching you race always fired him up, but that was a whole new level.”

Haru didn’t say anything, but he silently treasured those words.

Mikoshiba ran a hand through his spiky, reddish-orange hair.  “They should be serving breakfast now, huh?”

“I think so.”

“Wanna go, Nanase-kun?”

“Sure.”  Haru pulled on a pair of blue Team Japan shorts, slipped into his sandals, and grabbed his phone as they headed out the door.

…There was no mackerel at the breakfast buffet.  Haru frowned at the offerings as he stood in front of the toaster, wishing he’d brought a can of _saba_ from his suitcase.  _I’m gonna run out soon if I don’t start rationing._   He still had two months, including Rio.  _Nn._   _Rationing saba._ What kind of ridiculous place was this?Maybe he could get his mom to send him a care package for his birthday.  _All I want is saba in shoyu, saba in miso—_

“Ha-ru-ka!”

Haru braced at the familiar sing-song voice and rapid, light footsteps, making sure he had a good grip on his empty plate—

Takara collided with him from behind, throwing her arms around him.  Her long black hair scattered over his shoulder, shimmering in the light.  “It’s been forever!”  She squeezed him, on her tiptoes, leaning in—

Haru lifted a hand to block her, turning his face away.

Takara chuckled, loosening her arms but not letting go.  “Saving all your kisses for your boyfriend these days, hmm?”

“That’s right,” he said, untangling himself from her embrace.

Takara settled back onto her feet, her green eyes sparkling.  She wore the same Team Japan gear as he did.  “Things must’ve gone _really_ well in Barcelona.  It sure looked like it.”

Haru’s toast popped up and he used tongs to retrieve both pieces.  _Like I’m talking to you about that.  I didn’t even tell Makoto._   He turned away, headed for the cold cuts on the next station over.  “Congrats on qualifying in Portugal.  And your 200m free in Monaco.”

“Thanks!”  She grabbed a plate and trailed him.  “Setúbal was beautiful and warm, the sea was like glass…  You would’ve liked it.”

“Nn.”  Haru picked up the tongs, considering the various options spread out on trays in front of him.  “I swam at the beach in Barcelona.”

“Mm.  I bet you did.”

Haru flicked his eyes skyward.

After loading his plate, he headed for the table Mikoshiba had picked near the windows.  There were places set for four; Konishi and Coach Akagi already sitting one table over.  Haru set his dishes down, pulling the chair out—

“Haruka, what’s this?”  Takara’s hand closed around his right wrist, drawing his arm close so she could inspect the bracelet he wore.

Haru’s cheeks heated.  He pulled his wrist free and sat down, not answering. 

Takara slipped into the seat next to him, leaning towards Mikoshiba with a conspiratory smile.  “Things must be serious, Seijuurou.  If jewelry’s involved.”

“I don’t think it counts if it’s not metal, Takara-kun,” Mikoshiba said, grinning as he cut into his omelet with his fork.

Takara laughed.  “You mean like something shiny, gold, and priceless?  I’m pretty sure I have a picture of that.”

Haru exhaled, ignoring the rest of the conversation as he piled slices of ham and swiss cheese onto his toast and topped it with a ring of pineapple.  He missed the _saba_ as he ate…but he missed Rin more.

It was a couple of minutes before he realized they’d gone silent.

Haru glanced over…

Takara had a grimace on her face, her fork motionless in her hand.  “You’re doing that thing with the pineapple again.”

Haru drank from his glass of milk, washing the bite down.  He shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating.

“Eh, it could be worse, Takara-kun,” Mikoshiba said, returning to his plate.  “Americans eat pizza like that, you know.”

Her nose crinkled.  “Oh.  Last summer’s training camp in Oita…”

Haru’s mouth watered at the thought.  The _saba_ had been piping hot off the outdoor grill and the pineapple had been fresh, not canned.  It was even better than the time they trained on the beach in high school…and the only time he’d ever seen Takara’s face as green as her eyes.  Rin probably would’ve made a similar face, if he’d been there.  _You would’ve stormed off immediately, grumbling about how you’d cook something edible—something ‘fucking edible’—and make me eat it._ He could almost hear Rin’s voice in his head, smiling at his imagination as he bit down into another sweet chunk of pineapple on toast.

When he came back from his reverie, he caught the little look that passed between his teammates, both of them smiling and glancing his way.

“What?”  Haru narrowed his eyes.

“Nothing.  Nothing!”  Takara chuckled, turning her attention to her breakfast.

Mikoshiba grinned and forked another bit of omelet into his mouth.

“You’re being weird,” he said, but his cheeks were growing hot again.  Because he knew— _knew_ —they’d caught him thinking about Rin.  _Nn._   Haru looked away, fighting the blush and reaching for his glass.

-x-

Kino Aquatic Center was less than a ten-minute shuttle ride from the hotel.  The streets here were perfectly perpendicular, lined with single-story homes on huge plots of land.  Haru saw cacti for the first time out the window of the van.  Soon, they were turning off into a parking lot in front of a low building of white brick with an entryway of sparkling, green glass.  The day was heating fast, the sun blinding; Haru shielded his eyes as he climbed out of the van in his Team Japan shorts and T-shirt with his gear bag slung across his chest.  He could _hear_ the water already and the sound of the whistle…  His toes curled in his sandals, an impatient, eager thrill running through him.  Last night’s float in a crowded leisure pool hadn’t nearly been enough.

“This way,” Coach Akagi said, waving them towards the entrance.  He was wearing a sun hat with a chin strap and a pair of aviator shades with his Team Japan attire. 

They went inside, greeted by an excited staff member who squealed something in English and came around the desk to shake hands with Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara.  Through a glass wall on the opposite side of the building, Haru could see blue.  He paid no attention during a quick tour of the facility, trailing behind his teammates, his eyes locked on the nearest doors…

They finally spilled out into sunlight, Haru’s breath catching at the sight of all that water…  There was a wading pool to the far left with a water slide and a small, 25m warmup pool.  The main pool was partitioned into two sections—a diving section with two 3m springboards and two 1m springboards, and the 50m pool that was currently roped up cross-wise, into eighteen 25m lanes.  Large blue awnings shaded the stands along the back and to the right of the main pool, with a grassy strip running behind.

Haru grabbed his cap and goggles from the outside pocket of his gear bag as he followed his teammates to the stands.  There were a handful of others practicing—mostly younger kids—occupying a few of the lanes.  They stared at Haru and his teammates, the excitable host going over to talk to the adults who were hanging out and coaching. 

Haru set his bag down on the shaded bleachers and shed his clothes while Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara were drawn into conversations with the American coaches.  Since they were occupied, he headed towards the pool—

“Nanase-kun…”  Ozawa caught his arm.

“Nn…”  He pursed his lips, looking at the spray bottle she was holding. 

“Come on, turn around.”

Haru sighed, obediently holding out his arms as she doused him with sunscreen.

Nearby, Mikoshiba was already stripped down to his speedo, making a show of stretching—

Haru heard a phone’s fake shutter noise.

“Nice one, Seijuurou.  She’ll like it,” Takara said, holding her phone aimed at Mikoshiba, with the pool in the background of the shot.

Haru cocked a brow.  _She…?_

Mikoshiba noticed and rubbed the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly and blushing.  “Er…  If you could maybe…not tell Matsuoka.”

Takara laughed.  “Yeah.  Don’t tell your boyfriend that his little sister asked for pictures.  ‘For reference,’ she said.”  Takara smirked, lifting the camera again.

“Other side, Nanase-kun,” Ozawa said, pausing to shake the canister.

Haru turned.  “I didn’t see anything,” he murmured.

-x-

The water was bliss—cool against his skin as he glided in lazy laps across the pool.  Coach Akagi was working with Takara and Nakagawa at the moment, the two practicing individual medley, while Captain Ikehara, Konishi, and Ozawa were working on their strokes.  So he was left alone with the water and his thoughts.  Midday here meant it was nighttime in France and Rin was probably headed to bed soon.  But if Rin were here, he would’ve been calling the shots, yelling at Haru for being lazy and _‘I’ll make that cold face of yours heat up.’_  

Haru indulged himself, letting his imagination play.  _We’d be racing without meaning to and Mikoshiba would be yelling at us because we weren’t cooling down like we were supposed to.  …And after we were done, you’d hug me over the line and grin breathlessly, looking at me with your eyes bright and excited—_

The image of Rin in his head faded as the painted tile loomed in front of him.  _Thirty-eight days to go._

Haru curled into a flip turn, pushing off the wall and heading back across the pool.  There was a splash next to him, on his left in a lane that had been vacant.  The swimmer had a strong dolphin-kick, catching up with his unhurried strokes and pacing him for a second—  It was a kid, their eyes meeting briefly.  The boy had a spark in his gaze and a little grin as he sped up and surged past—

Haru smiled to himself and followed, drawing even with the boy and matching his speed.  They went into the turn at the same time, Haru drawing ahead just a tad underwater and feeling the kid charging from behind to take over.  Haru played to the kid’s pace, pushing him and seeing what he could do, the same way Rin had done with him countless times.  At the end of four laps, Haru hit the wall one stroke ahead and popped up, resting a hand on the side of the pool as he caught his breath.

The boy was grinning as he draped his arms over the line between them, breathing hard with shards of brown hair poking out the bottom of his white swim cap.  His eyes were heated and alive behind tinted goggles.  “ _Wow, you’re good!_ ”

Haru tugged his goggles down to his throat, buying a second as he grasped for English.  “ _So are you._ ”  He placed the kid…maybe ten years old?  Somewhere around there.

 _“So you’re an Olympic swimmer, huh?”_ the kid asked, bobbing in the water.  _“That’s gonna be me someday.  I’m gonna be a big deal in the 2024 Olympics.”_   The boy kicked to raise himself up, lifting one hand out of the water.  _“My name’s Luis.  What’s yours?”_

Haru shook the boy’s hand.  _“My name is Haruka.  I only swim free.”_

The boy’s brow furrowed.  _“You only swim…free?”_

_“That’s right.”_

The kid went back to hanging on the lane line, looking thoughtful as he puzzled over the words.

“Haruka, stop corrupting the children.”  Takara’s shadow fell over him.  “We don’t need more people saying stuff like that.”

Haru shrugged.

 _“Hey, Luis.  Come on back!”_   One of the American coaches waved from a few lanes down.

 _“I’m coming,”_ the boy called back.  He flashed Haru a grin and took off, swimming under the lane lines. 

Takara had her arms folded across her practice suit; she was smiling a little.  “Come on.  Mixed relay practice.”

Haru perked up.  “OK.”  He hoisted himself from the pool.

“But first, more sunscreen.”

“Nn…”

-x-

After a brief lunch and rest session, they were back at the pool under the blistering heat of the midday sun.  The digital board said it was 101 degrees F…Haru didn’t know temperatures even went to three digits in anything but cooking.

The moment he stepped back onto the pool deck—

_“There he is!”_

Haru glanced over, recognizing the boy from earlier.  The kid ran over in red practice shorts, his hair dark brown and wavy.  Seconds later, Haru was surrounded by at least a dozen kids—boys and girls, all of them about chest-height on him.  They bombarded him with English. 

_“Are you the guy that only swims free?”  “Can we race?”  “Do you swim the fifty without breathing?”  “What’s the longest you’ve ever swam?”  “Are you really fast?”  “So you never have to swim fly?”_

Haru quickly lost what they were saying, drawing a deep breath to clear his head of all the noise.  _“One…one at a time, please.”_  

The kids fell quiet, glancing at each other.  Then they were grinning, nudging Luis forward.

The boy looked up at him with eager eyes.  _“Will you swim free with us?”_

Haru felt a rush of warm nostalgia.  _He smiles just like you used to when we were kids._   _“Sure,”_ he said, and the kids cheered.

* * *

Sunday, June 19th, 2016

* * *

Haru hit the wall at the end of 100m, popping up to the blinding Arizona sunlight and a cacophony of cheering and shouting.  He stripped off his cap and goggles, breathing hard and holding onto the side of the pool as he glanced at the board.  _47.78_.  By .01s, he’d beaten the national record he’d set in Barcelona.  It was a bittersweet feeling, even though he’d accomplished his goal.  _I wouldn’t have minded letting it stand for a little while longer—the record I set with you watching._

Haru shook his head, flinging water from his face and hair as he waited for the others to finish.  The cheering only increased as the rest of the swimmers charged towards the wall.  _American parents are loud._   There were eight heats of finals for the 100m free, divided amongst four age groups, from those 10 and younger, to Haru’s competitors in the 15 and older A-final.  The meet was an invitation-only event between three local swim clubs and Team Japan; a chance for kids with Olympic dreams to swim against athletes bound for Rio.  Haru and his teammates were guests and he found the competition relaxing—a nice break from the constant pressure and everyone’s expectations of him.  He only went all-out in the 100m free, for Rin’s sake. 

The swimmers in the other seven lanes—ages 16 to 19—finished with times ranging from 52 to 54 seconds.  The spectators were on their feet and yelling—scores of excited parents and family members.  Second and third place went to the swimmers in lanes 3 and 5, respectively, Haru shaking hands with them before finally climbing out of the pool. 

After a quick rinse-off in the locker room, he headed back outside, his skin drying quickly in the baking sun.  It was 118 degrees F and even the locals were fanning themselves and complaining about the heat.  Haru joined Konishi and Coach Akagi in the shade, their gear set up just behind the main stands, adjacent to a strip of thirsty grass.  Everyone else was warming up for their respective events, the girls’ 200m IM finals getting started in the pool with the 12 and younger group first.  Takara and Nakagawa would be swimming in the A-final for the oldest group later.

It was almost 5:30pm…2:30am in France.  Rin was asleep and even if he wasn’t, the meet didn’t have livestreaming.  Haru felt it keenly—Rin’s absence, the distance and time zones between them.  Missing Rin now was different, though.  It didn’t hurt like in Norway and he wasn’t sad.  _I just…want to see you._

“Nanase-kun, congrats,” Konishi said, smiling at him while she stretched on a mat laid out in the shade.

“Thanks.”

Akagi was sitting nearby on a bench, water bottle in hand and sunglasses perched on his nose.  “I get to call Tokyo.  Again.”

“I warned you in advance.”  Haru slipped into his white and black T-shirt with the one blue sleeve, matching his teammates.

His coach smiled.

Haru pulled on blue shorts and retrieved his bracelet from the outer pocket of his gear bag.  Tying the leather onto his wrist required a bit of contortion and teeth, but he was getting better at it with practice.  With all the sun, he had a decent tan line where the bracelet rested against his skin.  Haru grabbed a water bottle and drank—

“ _Hey, Haruka!_ ”

Haru turned at the boy’s voice.  Luis came running over, waving wildly, in a white Mesa Aquatics Club T-shirt and red shorts.  Pinned to his shirt was his ribbon for placing first in the 100m free final for the 10 and younger group.  He had two dark-haired adults in tow—a man in a polo shirt and shorts and a woman in a sundress.

 _“That was awesome!  You’re, like, the fastest swimmer I’ve ever seen!”_   The kid was beaming, grinning ear-to-ear. 

 _“Thank you,”_ Haru said.  _“Congratulations on winning your race.”_  

 _“Thanks!”_   The boy’s face glowed with pride.  His smile softened, his eyes sparkling and excited.  _“Someday I’m gonna swim as fast as you.  …When that happens, can we swim together again?”_

Haru smiled.  _“Sure.”_

The boy’s parents joined them, Luis’s dad resting a hand on his son’s shoulder.  _“Haruka, thank you for being an inspiration to our son.  All the best of luck to you in Rio.  Our family will be cheering for you.”_

 _“Ah.”_   Haru dipped his head, shaking their hands one at a time.  _“Thank you.”_

Luis’s mom held up a camera.  _“If it’s alright with you, could we get a photo of you and Luis?”_

 _“OK.  Please wait a moment.”_   Haru went back to his bag, pulling out his phone.  “Konishi-san, could you…?”

“Sure.”  Konishi smiled and got to her feet, taking his phone from him.

They stood with the pool in the background, Haru leaning down to Luis’s level and making a peace sign with one hand, his other hand on the boy’s shoulder. 

_“Luis, hold still.”_

_“Mom, I am!  Take the picture already!”_

After several photos were snapped, Haru got his phone back from Konishi, flicking through the results.  It was weird to see himself smiling in a picture, but the boy looked so excited and happy that it was worth it.  He nodded at Konishi in thanks; she smiled and went back to her stretches.

 _“We’re going to the waterpark tonight,”_ Luis said, looking up at him.  _“The whole team.  You’re gonna come, right?”_

 _Waterpark…_   Haru’s brows lifted.  _“I will ask,”_ he said, glancing back at his coach.

Akagi, who was close enough to be listening in, gave a noncommittal shrug like, _maybe._

Luis pumped a fist into the air.  _“Alright!  I’m telling everyone!”_   There was a huge grin on his face and the lack of a clear response didn’t seem to matter.  The kid ran off with a wave and tugged his parents with him—one by each hand.

Haru watched them leave, Luis’s confident exuberance resonating with his memories…with the grinning redhead who tackled him after every race, breathing hard, with bright eyes that were _free_ and full of life—  He touched the bracelet, wistful, his fingertips running over the little shark bobbing amidst leather waves.

_Rin.  I hope—someday—you can smile like that again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Kino Aquatic Center](http://www.mesaaz.gov/Home/ShowImage?id=4407&t=635605374100300000)


	19. Fly & free in the Eternal City, Part 1

Monday, June 20th, 2016

* * *

Rin’s phone said it was 4:26am.  The sky was dark outside the window—cold indigo and waning stars above the shadowed tree line.  Dawn was still hours away.  He shouldn’t be awake this early, not with his alarm set to go off at 6:30am and a mandated ten hours of rest per night.  He wasn’t getting that—not even close.  He tried, but he kept popping awake, earlier and earlier each day, restless and impatient.  It couldn’t be helped; not when morning was the one time of day his schedule _usually_ lined up with Haru’s.

This early in Phoenix, though, the meet wasn’t over yet.  Add in the usual post-competition revelry and the Takara-Mikoshiba duo being on hand…it wasn’t likely Haru would be going to bed before Rin had to be up and about his day.  But even a few minutes would be better than nothing.  Not enough, but something.

Rin rolled onto his back on the narrow, twin bed, the sound of Momo’s quiet snoring and sleep murmuring coming from the opposite side of the room.  He tapped through the Barcelona picture on his lock screen, checking for messages while their faces smiled back at him from his wallpaper, the light through the Oceanarium tunnel leaving radiant water-patterns on their skin.  There was one email from Haru, just after 2:30am Rin’s time, with no subject line.

_[47.78]_

Rin sat up, the blankets falling to his waist, Haru’s dolphin T-shirt slightly twisted around his torso.  _You did it.  Just like you said._   The accompanying rush of emotion was happy and anguished, his smile faltering.  _I wish I could’ve seen it._   Rin bit down on his lower lip as the ache took over.  There were pictures but no videos from the meet in Phoenix.  Even then, it wasn’t like a video or a livestream could compare to being there like in Barcelona.

A week ago… _I was waking up beside you_.  Memories came flooding in and Rin rolled his lip between his teeth to distract himself.  _That_ thought was too much.  Thirty-three more days were going to be torture if he let himself dwell on everything that was Barcelona.

He switched over to Skype, just in case.  Haru only had the one final, so maybe—

Rin’s breath caught at the green dot next to Haru’s name.  He threw the covers back and got out of bed, slipping into his sandals and grabbing a lightweight sweatshirt.  Momo didn’t stir as he left the room, heading down the hall to the common area. 

A glass wall faced the mountains, though they weren’t much more than jagged shapes in the dark at present.  Dim overhead lighting cast a soft glow over couches, arm chairs, and a couple of tables next to a small kitchenette.  It was vacant, thankfully.  Rin shrugged into his sweatshirt and tapped the call button.  As he waited, he ran a hand through his hair, working out tangles and trying to finger-comb the strands into something presentable.

It was the third or fourth ring when the call connected, Rin’s heart thrilling inside him.

“ _Rin?_ ”  The screen lit with Haru’s face, a bit of concern evident in blue eyes as Haru slipped off a pair of aviator sunglasses.  “ _You’re up this early?”_

It was loud enough in the background that Rin lowered the volume, Haru standing in a grassy area behind the stands.  Phoenix was sunny and bright.  Haru tucked the sunglasses into the neck of his Team Japan T-shirt.

“I couldn’t sleep.”  _I was thinking about you_.  Rin kicked off his sandals and settled on one of the couches near the wall of windows.  He stretched his feet out against the cushions, reclining comfortably against the arm of the sofa.  Just seeing Haru’s face relaxed him.

Haru smiled with his eyes, as if he could tell.  “ _You got my email?”_

“Yeah.  Just that much, Haru?”  Rin lifted a brow.  “You said you weren’t going to make it easy on me.”

 _“Nn.  It was enough.”_   Haru glanced away, the mirth leaving his face.  _“I liked the record I set with you in Barcelona better.”_

Rin inhaled.  “Haru—”

The feed jerked as someone crashed into Haru from the side—  There was a blur of arms and damp black hair, and an irritated look in Haru’s eyes as he righted the camera.

 _“Matsuoka!”_   Takara grinned at him, draped over Haru’s shoulders, her eyes gleaming.  _“Isn’t it the middle of the night in France?”_

Rin’s brow twitched.  “Yeah, it is, Sakamoto.” 

Haru shrugged her off, frowning slightly.  _“Takara, go away.”_

Takara chuckled, winking at Rin before she scampered off.  Her embrace left Haru’s T-shirt wet in spots from her hair.

_It fucking sucks that you get to hug him like that and I can’t._

_“Rin, you don’t have to be jealous.”_

“I’m not fucking jealous.”

Haru’s eyes warmed with amusement.  _“Because, you’re the one I love, so…”_

Those words melted residual stress from his back and shoulders.  “Haru…”  He exhaled fondly, settling back against the couch.

The cheering in the background grew louder, culminating in shouts and yelling that had Haru looking over his shoulder.  The noise died down a few seconds later.

“Which race?” Rin asked.

 _“Two hundred breaststroke.  Captain Ikehara will be up in a bit.”_   Haru paused.  _“It’s a while before you have to be anywhere, right?”_

“Yeah.  A couple hours.”

_“…Wanna watch with me?  I’ve got a full battery.”_

Rin smiled.  “Yeah.  Sure.”

Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure.

-x-

Rin had to lower the volume even further in the stands, watching the different finals as Haru held the camera pointed at the pool.  Captain Ikehara took first place in the A-Final for the 15 and up group, the Beijing and London Olympian swarmed by young fans as soon as the race was over.

 _“He keeps saying it makes him feel old, swimming with all the kids,”_ Haru said.

“Mm.”  Rin shifted on the couch, drawing his knees up and resting his arms there.  “Haru, switch me back.”

The camera feed changed from the pool to Haru’s face.  Haru was wearing the shades again, lifting one brow, with earbuds pushed into his ears and wires dangling to either side of his neck. 

“I just like looking at you,” Rin said, his cheeks heating.

Haru smiled with his eyes.  The quiet that stretched between them—despite the raucous all around—was full of soft looks and longing. 

Rin watched a couple races of the girls’ 400m free after that, but he caught himself starting to nod off—

_“Rin, go back to bed.”_

Haru was in the grassy area behind the stands where it wasn’t as loud; Rin couldn’t recall him moving…

“Nn…”  He sat up, frowning.

Haru’s eyes were warm with affection.  _“We’re going to a waterpark later.  I’ll email you when I can.”_

“Waterpark, huh?”  Rin rubbed a hand across his face, trying to wake up.  “Don’t get in trouble.”

_“How can I get in trouble?  It’s a waterpark.”_

_You tend to find a way._

Haru’s gaze softened.  _“Get some sleep.”_

“Yeah, OK.”  Rin exhaled.  “Haru…”  He lowered his voice, his face getting a little hot.  “…love you.”

Haru smiled—for real smiled—his blue eyes shining.  _“Love you too.”_   He waved with his right hand, the bracelet on his wrist.

Rin waved back and the screen darkened.

He sighed and got up, slipping into his sandals and dragging himself back to his room.  It was just after 5am and Momo was still fast asleep. 

Rin climbed into bed, curling up beneath the covers.  He stared at the bracelet on his left wrist, his hand resting against the pillow with the little shark and dolphin facing each other.  Rin’s breath came out in a puff as he closed his eyes.  _This fucking sucks._

-x-

He woke with his alarm at 6:30am, feeling a little better after his nap.  Silencing the alarm, he checked his email…  There was a new message from Captain Ikehara waiting in his inbox. 

_[He said he wanted to do this for you.  Regards, Dutiful Videographer.]_

Rin downloaded the attachment, grabbing his headphones and plugging them in.  He leaned back against the wall at the head of the bed as he watched.

His screen lit with a wide-angle shot of the aquatic center in Phoenix, Haru standing with two dozen kids at the edge of the diving pool.  He was holding a certificate for his new national record in the 100m free, the paper looking oddly shiny, like it was covered in plastic.

 _“Is everybody ready?”_   Rin recognized Ozawa’s voice, her English flawless.  She was off-screen, near the camera.  _“OK, three…two…one—”_

 _“I only swim free!”_ the kids shouted and everyone jumped into the pool.  There was a huge splash, followed by lots of squealing and laughter.

Haru surfaced in the center, still holding his certificate and waving at the camera.

The kids joined in—waving and grinning—and the video ended.

Rin facepalmed.  _Haru…_

But it was fitting.  _When it comes to water, you’re basically a five-year-old._   Rin smiled, watching the video again.  Haru looked so happy, even surrounded by all those noisy kids.  There was something…oddly nostalgic about the scene.

When Rin was really little, his dad taught him how to swim.  _I used to jump in the pool like that…with my dad holding my hand.  He always loved being around kids._

Rin lowered the phone to his lap, plucking the headphones from his ears.  There was daylight beyond the window, the mountains gilded with sunrise.  The quiet, peaceful moment stirred his memories of being with his dad…and more recent things.  …Like the way Haru had looked, holding Captain Ikehara’s daughter.  _You were so calm and at ease with her._   Granted, she didn’t seem like a particularly fussy child, but still.  _I didn’t have a clue what to do._ But Haru…would be a good dad someday, if that was what he wanted.  _You’d really love your kids and they’d grow up never doubting it—that you loved them and were proud of them._ Even though, on the other hand, Haru would be horribly undisciplined as a father, letting the kids stay in the water as long as they wanted, letting them eat whatever they wanted— _like saba and pineapple on toast, ugh_ —and there wouldn’t be standard bedtimes.  Haru and the kids would just fall asleep in a pile somewhere, _and I’d have to be the one putting everybody to bed—_

Rin caught himself with a start, his fingers tightening on his phone.  _I said I didn’t want kids…didn’t want a family…  Didn’t want anything that would get in the way of my dream…_   And if all of that was true, why was there a lump forming in his throat as the daydream faded?

Rin shoved the covers back and got up, leaving his phone on the bed as he headed for the bathroom.  He splashed cool water on his face, leaning over the basin with his hands braced on the sink.  As the ache ran through his chest, he closed his eyes.  _Dad.  Why did you have to choose?  Why did you pick Mom, Gou, and I over your dream?_

_…Why couldn’t you have it all?_

-x-

Either they were early to practice or their coaches were late.  Rin trailed Momo into the warm room, inhaling the chlorinated air.  Sugiyama was already there, of course, working in lane four of the six-lane, 50m pool.  The glass walls on the north and west sides of the building looked out over the sunlit training grounds with the mountains in the distance. 

Otani was working her swim cap over her bun of light brown hair, her practice suit black and teal.  “They said eight o’clock, I thought,” she said.

Next to Otani, their teammate Sada was smoothing back short black hair and fitting her cap on top. “Must’ve got caught up, somewhere,” she said.  Sada Emi came on initially as a relay-only member for the women’s 4x100m free, but she’d qualified for the individual 100m free at the Japan Open, end of May.  Sada was taller than Otani, broad through the shoulders, with dark brown eyes.  Her practice suit was bright red with slashes of black.

“Might as well start with normal warm ups,” Rin said, as he and Momo joined them.  He perched a hand on his hip, glancing at the clock.  “They’ll probably only be a few minutes.”

Momo was stock-still and tightlipped at Rin’s side, as he’d been for the past several days in Sada’s presence—ever since she’d arrived.  Rin couldn’t tell if the kid was intimidated by her, or…  _Nah, I don’t want to know what’s going on in your head._

“Momo.  Warm ups.”  Rin flicked the kid’s shoulder.

Momo snapped out of his blank stare, making a face.  “Hai.”  He stretched his cap over his fiery orange hair and pushed his goggles into place, dancing towards the block on lane two and hopping into the water.  He came up swimming backstroke and Rin sighed.

After their usual warm ups, Coach Fujino and Assistant Coach Maekawa still hadn’t arrived…

Rin clung to the side of the pool in lane one, considering the options as he tugged his goggles down to hang at his neck.  He could keep the kid busy.  That wasn’t really a problem, but…  Rin climbed out of the pool, grabbing his water bottle from his gear bag and taking a drink.

“Rin-senpai, let’s swim a relay!”  Momo was draped over the line between lane two and lane three—where Otani and Sada were circle swimming.  The kid was grinning, wiggling with too much energy.

 _Even though I made sure you didn’t sneak any coffee this morning…_   Rin took another sip of water.  It wasn’t a bad idea, but…  _Pretty hard to swim a medley relay with just two of us._

Sugiyama, in lane four, had been taking a 30-second break near the block.  The guy rolled his eyes and slipped back into the water. 

_Not like I wanted to ask you anyway._

Otani finished her lap and popped up near the block on lane three.  She pulled her goggles down to her throat, frowning as she glanced at the door and the clock.

“Otani-san!  Wanna swim a relay?”

Otani shrank back from Momo’s exuberance.  “Ah, Momo-kun.”  She glanced up at Rin, doe-eyed.  “It’s fine with me.  If that’s what you think is best, Matsuoka-kun?”

It was either that or go searching for their coaches…  “It’d be good practice, if Sada-san’s agreeable.”  Haru’s emails repeatedly mentioned mixed medley practice, while Rin hadn’t touched any kind of relay since training camp at the NTC.  …Not that he was jealous or anything.

Sada swam to the wall and surfaced between Otani and Momo.  “What’s going on?”

Momo stared at her, wide-eyed and silent.

Rin tucked his water bottle away, approaching the block.  “Mixed medley practice, if you’re up for anchoring, Sada-san.”

“Sure,” she said.  “It’s about time I get some action around here.”

Momo turned tomato-red and slithered off the lane line into the pool.  He came up coughing.

_Momo, get your mind out of the fucking gutter._

Rin folded his arms.  “We’ll go…five descending, five building, on five minutes, if that works for everyone.”

“Sounds good to me,” Sada said, hoisting herself out of the pool.

“Who’s gonna keep track?” Otani asked, getting out next.

“I will,” Rin said, grabbing a marker and a whistle from his bag.  He glanced at the clock as he headed toward the block on lane two where Momo was still screwing around.  “Momo!  Leaving on the top.”  Rin blew the whistle and Momo settled down, climbing up to the start holds.

His cheeks were still pink.  “You’re gonna do a race start, Rin-senpai?”  The kid grinned, eyes gleaming.

“Yeah, if you’re ready.”  Rin eyed the clock.  “ _Take your marks._ ” 

Momo tensed.

Rin set the whistle to his lips, waiting as the second hand on the clock reached 12—  He blew the whistle and Momo arced backwards into the pool.  The kid surfaced into backstroke at race speed.  _Running hot like an idiot, as usual._

“…Does he know what descending means?” Sada asked.

“Nope,” Rin said, marking the start time on his wrist.  “He’s got one speed.”

“Ah.”

Otani fitted her goggles into place, adjusting the straps of her suit as she climbed onto the block.

Momo flipped into the turn at the end of the pool and started back.

Otani set her feet for the relay start, Rin noticing how precise she was and the care she took with her positioning.  As Momo neared the finish, she bent her knees, starting her dive during the kid’s last few strokes.  The handoff wasn’t bad at all for a first time.  Otani was bending her knees just a tad too much in his opinion, but her dive was clean otherwise, as was her stroke.  She swam at a more reasonable pace.

Rin set his marker and whistle aside as he readied himself for the fly leg.  He adjusted the start block for his stance as Momo climbed out of the pool.

“Rin-senpai!  Was I good?”  Momo hopped from foot to foot, sending water flying in all directions.

“You would be if you followed directions.  Don’t swim so fast.”  Rin settled his goggles over his eyes, climbing onto the block.

“Hehee.”  Momo rubbed the back of his neck and grinned, completely unrepentant.

Rin turned his attention to the pool and Otani’s stroke, stretching his arms towards the ceiling one last time…  He set his feet for the start and smiled.  It felt good—really good—swimming a relay again.  Even if it wasn’t Nagisa or Nitori or Captain Ikehara swimming the breaststroke leg and Haru wasn’t behind him as anchor, swimming with a team was a feeling he lived for. 

He analyzed Otani’s form as she swam towards him, preparing to dive.  When she touched the wall, his feet left the blocks…  Rin sliced into the water, dolphin-kicked, and came up swimming fly.  He paced himself for the lap, feeling a little more eager than he should have.  After the open turn, Rin started back towards the wall.  That was the moment when he missed Haru the most—seeing Sada on the block instead.  Swimming with Haru, being with Haru…those things were on a level all their own, now. 

Rin finished the lap, slapping the wall—  He was shadowed by Sada’s dive; hers was _not_ the lithe form that took his breath away.  But her dive was good and her dolphin kicks were strong.  Rin climbed out of the pool, taking note of the raw power of her stroke as he went to retrieve his marker.  He made a tally mark on his skin and checked the clock, making sure they were on time for the next start.

“Ano…  Matsuoka-kun?”  Otani was fiddling with her goggles. 

“Yeah?”

Momo wasn’t paying attention.  The kid was sitting on the pool-deck, butterfly-style with his hands on his ankles, watching Sada’s freestyle.

Otani blushed faintly.  “I’m not real confident about my relay starts.  Any pointers?”

Rin lifted a brow.  “Have you asked the coaches?”

“Sorta...  I know we’ll really be working the relays in São Paulo, but I want to be better before then.”

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Well, I’m not a coach or anything…  But if I had to give you a suggestion, try bending your knees a little less.  The rest of your form’s just about perfect.”

Her face lit up.  “Really?  Thanks!”  She smiled.  “I’ll try that.”

“Eh, thank me if it works,” he said, dropping his hand.  But it was oddly satisfying, having someone listen to him for a change.  It reminded Rin of high school, all those late nights he spent after class, teaching Rei how to swim the other strokes…

Sada finished her lap and Rin glanced at the clock, grabbing the whistle.  He sounded the four-pulse, snapping Momo out of his wide-eyed stare and sending the kid scrambling for the pool—

Haru’s voice echoed in his head, from the beach in Barcelona.  _You still do it.  Slip into captain-mode sometimes._

The realization seized him, from the whistle at his mouth to the smell of the marker on his arm.  _Well, shit.  Haru, you’re right._

-x-

Rin had just made the eighth tally on his arm when Coach Fujino and Coach Maekawa finally arrived, both of them in black T-shirts and their Team Japan warmup pants.  Maekawa carried a messenger bag.

“Sorry we’re late, Olympians,” Coach Fujino said with an apologetic smile.  “Our meeting with the JASF ran long.”  He arched a brow at the marker in Rin’s hand.  “Did you find something to keep you busy?”

“Hai!  We’re swimming medley,” Momo said, waving from his spot on the floor.

“I see.  What’s the set?”

Rin’s face heated.  “Five descending, five building, on five.”  He nodded towards the pool, where Sada was smoothly accelerating towards the finish.  “This’ll make eight out of ten.”

Fujino’s gaze caught on the whistle around Rin’s neck.  “You arranged this, Matsuoka?”

Rin bowed low, feeling like he’d overstepped.  “It was my set.  _Sumimasen._ ”

Coach Fujino didn’t reply and Rin waited a beat before hesitantly glancing up.  He found Fujino and Maekawa having a silent conversation.  Whatever was being communicated by Fujino’s look, it had Maekawa nodding and pulling a notebook from her bag.  _Fuck._

Fujino cleared his throat and Rin straightened. 

“Carry on, Matsuoka.  I’ll take over when you’re done.”

Rin’s eyes widened.  “…H-hai.”

Coach Fujino walked past him for the whiteboard. 

Rin sucked in a breath, clutching the marker in his hand and turning for the lane.  Sada had just climbed out of the pool.  She and the others exchanged a glance, then looked at him expectantly.

“Ah, two more to go,” Rin said.  He lifted the whistle.

-x-

During practice that afternoon, Maekawa was back to trying to drown him.  He was working on the 50 free in lane six while she stood at the five-meter mark and yelled at him. 

“Matsuoka, what do you call _that_?  Do it again.”

“Matsuoka, I told you _not_ to breathe.  Do it again.”

“Matsuoka!  What the hell are you doing breathing at five meters?  If you can do forty-five meters without breathing, you can do fifty.  _Again_.”

Rin lost count of how many fifties he’d tried, seeing stars and clinging to the side of the pool at the end of his most recent attempt. 

“Alright, short break,” Maekawa said, unfolding her arms and walking away.  “Out of the pool, Matsuoka.”

Still breathing hard, he hauled himself out of the water. 

“Over here.”  Maekawa waved him to join her near a table, where she had a laptop set up.

Rin shucked off his cap and goggles, grabbing a water bottle and drinking deeply as he stopped at her side.  Glancing at the screen, he nearly choked, seeing the video she’d brought up.  _You’re fucking kidding me._

Maekawa switched to full-screen, pointing at the frozen image of Haru standing behind the block for lane four at the _Club Natació Sant Andreu_ in Barcelona.

Rin’s face burned.

She hit play, the laptop muted—thank God.  “Pay attention to Nanase-kun’s breathing technique, here—”

Rin clutched the water bottle in his hand, watching as Haru climbed onto the block and readied himself.  He tensed for the start, then dove—

She restarted the video from the beginning.  “I’ll show you again.  I know you’re the one who taught him that.”

Rin focused on Haru’s breathing on the second playthrough, but this time Maekawa didn’t stop the video after the dive.

His heart leapt into his throat as he watched Haru surface at fifteen meters and sprint across the pool.  This was the official video—with the camera on rails chasing the swimmers left to right, to the finish.  Haru popped up at the wall, drawing deep breaths.

Maekawa folded her arms, saying something as the video continued to play, but Rin didn’t hear a word.  His eyes were glued to the screen, to Haru swimming to the side of the pool and climbing out…  The camera panned and zoomed in, following him to the stands.  On screen, Rin was there, waiting.  He felt it in his gut as he watched himself kiss a startled Haru on the lips and the tight embrace that came after.

Maekawa hit the pause button right _there_.  “Got all that, Matsuoka-kun?”

Rin’s cheeks were on fire as he pried his eyes from the screen to look at her.  _No, I got exactly fucking none of that._

But the glitter in her eyes and the faux-innocent smile on her lips told him she knew _precisely_ what she was doing.  “Ready to give it another shot?”

Rin exhaled through his teeth.  “…Hai.”  _Coach, you are a special kind of evil._

…Three tries later, he made it all the way to the wall without breathing.

-x-

That night, Rin collapsed onto his bed, feeling like all of his muscles and bones had turned to jelly.  He could barely fucking _move_ , he was so tired.  Momo passed out on top of his bed in his warmups and Rin didn’t even have the energy to throw a blanket over the kid.  Instead, he stared at the ceiling, contemplating his future as an amorphous blob as he waited for sleep to take him…

His phone buzzed. 

With a groan, Rin turned onto his side, groping for his phone on the nightstand.  He managed to bring the thing to his face and answer the call.

 _“You, uh, look like shit,”_ Haru said.

“You’re using that word, now?” Rin muttered, too tired to even glare. 

 _“I couldn’t think of a better one.”_   Haru was shirtless and damp like he’d just gotten out of the pool.  Wherever he was, it was sunny with a lot of blue in the background and some sort of odd chirping sound…  It didn’t look like the aquatic center.

Chirping was the wrong word.  That sound was—  “Haru, do I hear fucking _dolphins_?”

Haru’s eyes brightened.  _“Yeah.  Look.”_

The camera swiveled and Rin was suddenly looking at a huge pool and two no-shit dolphins leaping through the air in unison, with some guy—presumably a trainer—standing nearby. 

Rin rolled onto his stomach, instantly awake.  “Haru, where the hell did you find _dolphins_ in the desert?”

The camera returned to Haru’s face.  _“Makoto found it for me.  It’s here in Phoenix, only twenty minutes from the hotel.  I just got done swimming with them.”_

“You _what_?”

 _“Yeah.”_   Haru smiled.  _“Makoto arranged it.  Nagisa, Rei, and Gou were in on it, too, as an early birthday present.  Mikoshiba and Takara are here with me.  It’s not over yet, but I wanted to call before you went to bed.”_

 _Fuck!_   Of course Makoto would find the perfect birthday present for Haru.  Makoto wouldn’t send Haru to _look_ at water at an aquarium.  Swimming with actual, real-life dolphins?!?  _Damnit!  I never would’ve thought of something that good._

 _“Rin, you don’t need to do that,”_ Haru said, peering at him through the phone.

“ _Tch_.  I’m not doing anything, Haru.”

_“Yes, you are.  I know what you’re doing.”_

“Nn…”

 _“Rin.”_   Haru’s gaze softened.  _“You think that_ anything _can top the weekend I spent with you in Barcelona?”_

The way Haru said those words made Rin pause, a blush rising in his cheeks.  _Well, when you consider the whole of it…  I should fucking hope not._

Haru smiled, like he could tell what Rin was thinking.  _“Maybe Sydney for Christmas.”_

Rin relaxed.  “Yeah, OK.” 

_“You look like you could pass out at any second.”_

As soon as Haru mentioned it, the fatigue saturated him again.  “Yeah, Coach Maekawa…”  Rin exhaled, managing a smile.  “I did it today, Haru.  No breaths in the fifty.”

 _“Really?”_   Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure.  _“Show me later.  Rome?”_

“Maybe.”  Rin settled against the sheets, holding his lover’s gaze.  “You’re going to Flagstaff tonight?”

_“Yeah, after this.  I’ll email you.  And we can talk when you get up.”_

“OK.”

He heard Takara’s voice in the distance.  _“Haruka!”_

Haru glanced away.  _“I gotta go.”_

“Go.”  Rin smiled, tired.  “Have fun, Haru.”

 _“Sleep well, Rin.”_ Haru smiled back and waved.

The screen darkened.

Rin shifted onto his back, his phone still clutched his in his hand.  He fell asleep the second he closed his eyes…

* * *

Wednesday, June 22nd, 2016

* * *

Traveling to Rome took Rin back through Barcelona.  It was a warm, clear day with light winds.  From the window of the airplane, he watched the sparkling Mediterranean lap at the golden sand of Barceloneta Beach…  The shoreline faded from view as the plane gained altitude, Rin looking until he couldn’t see it anymore.  The memories would keep him company if he let them, his gaze dropping to the bracelet on his wrist as he sat back with a sigh.

For the short flight, they were all spread out in the airplane, which unfortunately meant he’d be dealing with a sugared and caffeinated Momo by the time they landed in Rome.  But he wasn’t missing out on any sleep today, just gaining hours spent in cramped, tight quarters with the promise of a punishing workout with Coach Maekawa to make up for it.  The plane was cool enough that he kept his sweatshirt on over his T-shirt and pants.

Rin took out his phone, the device in airplane mode, and flicked through his emails from the past couple of days.  He and Haru hadn’t gotten to talk much with Haru dealing with a headache most of yesterday as he acclimated to the altitude in Flagstaff.  But there was enough ‘stuff’ in Rin’s inbox to get him through it.  In addition to the video of Haru with the kids at the aquatic center in Mesa, there were photos from the waterpark and pictures Takara had taken of Haru and Mikoshiba swimming with the dolphins.  Mikoshiba had sent him a photo of Haru in bed with an ice bag on his head and the stuffed shark in his arms, in the dorm room they were sharing on the Northern Arizona University campus.  The subject line was ‘Sad dolphin on ice.’  Mikoshiba had a weird sense of humor, but Rin knew the guy was taking good care of Haru.  Mikoshiba had always treated teammates like family.

Further down in his inbox were photos from Haru’s competition in Phoenix, along with a few random pictures Haru had sent.  One email Rin flagged was titled, ‘Do you like my new sunglasses?’  A more appropriate title would’ve been, ‘Do you like my tan line?’  Haru had taken the picture in the mirror of his hotel room in Phoenix, wearing the sunglasses and his jammers.  While he was fully covered, there was a strip of paler skin right across his hips that looked very, uh, _inviting_.  Rin tried not to look at that photo too often.

The email Haru sent yesterday morning (late Monday night, in Arizona) had a panoramic photo of stunning striated rock formations at the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona.  Haru had obviously broken out real equipment to take the picture.  _I wish I could’ve been there._   Rin gave up trying not to be jealous as he stared at a picture of Haru standing with their teammates with the towering rocks in the background, especially the way Mikoshiba and Takara had their arms perched on his shoulders.  Haru was doing one of his typical not-smiling faces, but he didn’t look too put out. 

 _Nn_ …  Rin flicked to the bottom of the email, where Haru had added, _[It’s pretty here, but I miss you.  Also, Takara is noisy.]_

_[P.S.  I sent you something.  To Rome.  They said it would get there on Thursday.]_

Haru had been tightlipped about the contents of said envelope or package during their brief calls yesterday and this morning.  Rin gave up trying to guess, assured Haru wasn’t sending him _saba_ at least.  But given that the email had come after Haru’s side trip through Sedona on the way to Flagstaff…he wouldn’t be surprised if Haru sent him a rock or something.  Haru could very tactile at times.  Hopefully it wasn’t a cactus.

The flight to Rome from Barcelona was less than two hours.  They landed along the coast at Fiumicino Airport, the plane banking over clusters of homes wrapped in greenery and broad fields before touching down smoothly on the runway.  After claiming their luggage, Rin and his teammates headed outside to wait for transportation.

Rin’s head was buzzing with the influx of oxygen after more than a week at 1800m.  Coming back to sea level almost made him dizzy, the colors seeming sharper and the air feeling thicker with each breath.  It was just shy of 4pm, the temperature warmer than Barcelona with unmarred blue skies overhead.

Rin kept one hand on the strap of Momo’s backpack as they waited, the kid vibrating with his sugar high—not to mention the oxygen rush, his head swiveling as he tried to look at everything.  Momo’s T-shirt was yellow like his backpack, his shorts white.  It wasn’t a bad resistance workout, actually, the way Momo kept pulling.  Rin switched his arms when his muscles started to tire.

“What’s his problem?” Sada asked, joining them.  She was wearing a steel gray racer-back tank that bared her arms and shoulders with cropped athletic pants and a red sweatshirt tied around her hips.  The second she came over, Momo went statue-still, his golden eyes bugging as he looked up at her.

“I’m sure he had five soft drinks on the plane,” Rin said, resting his arm in the brief reprieve.

“Hm.”  Sada tilted her head, a swath of short black hair falling across her brow.  “He’s quiet now.”

“Yup, thanks for that.”

Sada smiled, amusement in her dark brown eyes.

The shuttle arrived, Coach Maekawa calling them over.  “Everyone, let’s go.”

It only took about 30 minutes, the trip from the airport along streets lined with homes and lush green foliage through the north side of Rome.  They passed through the Giovanni XXIII Tunnel, Rin glimpsing a sign for the _Stadio Olimpico_ as soon as they exited.  The shuttle continued east on the _Via del Foro Italico_ and crossed over the Tiber River before turning off to a road running between athletic facilities and broad fields of cut grass. 

“Rin-senpai, look!  Horses!”

“Ah.”  Rin followed Momo’s gaze, seeing the sunlit paddock and riders in equestrian gear.  They passed a polo field before turning in the opposite direction.

The gate of the training center bore the Olympic rings with the flag of Italy flying overhead.  They continued onto the campus, driving slowly through a few streets and passing a soccer field before pulling up in front of a dormitory that would be their home for the next several days.  The dorm was kitty-corner to the indoor, 50m pool.

Rin grabbed his stuff and Momo, steering the kid towards the entrance of the building, following Coach Fujino and Assistant Coach Maekawa.

“Kawamura-kun, how were your flights?”  Fujino greeted Kawamura in the lobby, the guy in a red and white Team Japan T-shirt and matching shorts.

“Not too bad,” Kawamura said, his manner as smooth and nonchalant as ever.  “How about yours, Coach?”

Coach Fujino smiled.  “I never complain about the short trips.”

Rin was glad Momo was with him.  Rooming with either Sugiyama or Kawamura would’ve been fresh torture he didn’t need.  Swimming with them was going to be enough of a picnic. 

The dorm was an older building with blond hardwood floors and a couple of interior brick walls.  A man in a suit and tie ran the check-in desk, handing out keys.  There was a small sitting area with a few couches and a round table, with a flat screen TV hanging on the wall. 

Rin caught a mix of English and Italian, glancing at the screen to find an Italian sports news program airing an interview from an American network.  A few of the American Olympic hopefuls were featured, discussing their prospects for the US Olympic Trials that would start in Omaha on Sunday.

“Sugiyama-senpai, want help with anything?” Kawamura asked, joining his roommate.

 _Good luck with that,_ Rin thought.

Sugiyama didn’t respond, his gaze locked on the TV screen.  His face was _frigid_ ; Rin couldn’t help but notice the way the guy was white-knuckling the handle on his suitcase.

Kawamura got a little closer and tried again.  “Sugiyama-senpai?”

“What?”  Sugiyama’s voice was terse as he turned from the screen.  “No, I got this.”

Kawamura slipped his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heels.  “Alright.”

Rin looked up at the TV, but the program had switched from featuring swimmers to track and field athletes.  _You’ve been around long enough to make some enemies.  Is that why you’re bitter?_

“Matsuoka-kun?”

He turned at the sound of Maekawa’s voice.  “Hai?”

She was already tugging her suitcase towards the elevator.  “Can you be ready in thirty?”

“Hai.”

“Wear your square legs.”

_Damnit._

-x-

Rin was done with his warmups by the time Maekawa joined him at the 8-lane, 50m pool.  There were wooden stands running the length of the pool on one side and three walls of glass windows, letting in light from outside.  The roof was white fabric secured to curved wooden ribs, reminding Rin of old sailing ships.

Maekawa had changed into a T-shirt and shorts with her brown hair pulled back into a ponytail; she carried a clipboard and stopwatch.  A whistle hung around her neck.

Rin climbed out of the pool, tugging his goggles down to his throat and grabbing his water bottle.  _God,_ he felt naked in this thing.  The black and red square leg suit ended at his upper thighs, covering more than Momo’s briefs, but _still_.  Compared to his leg skins, which were sleek and—erm—compressing, these felt loose and fancy free.  Plus, he hated how pale his legs were and the fact that he wouldn’t get to shave until just prior to Rio.  He’d happily strip down to nothing with Haru anytime, but this sucked.  Today wasn’t the first time Maekawa made him do it, either.

 _Just focus on the clock, Matsuoka._   If he could make good times with the extra resistance and drag, he’d be slaying in his tech suit during the competition. 

“We’ll time your fifty free to start,” she said.  “Then, I assume you’re good continuing to work on the hundred fly?”

Rin nodded.  “Yeah.”  As much as he liked chasing Haru in the 50m free, he was running out of time to prove himself in the fly.  July 1st was the deadline for Olympic Committees to submit their relay-only swimmers to the IOC.  If Sugiyama was named for the medley, that was it—Rin could give up on the fly leg of the relay final.  He had to put up the best possible time in the 100m race this Friday in the competition. 

So if that meant doing laps in his skivvies, oh-fucking-well.  _Sign me up, Coach._

Maekawa smiled.  “Then let’s get to it.”

-x-

After practice, Rin had dinner with his teammates in the dining hall on campus, then trailed Momo back to their dorm.  The kid had to inspect every tree they passed, looking for good stag beetle hunting spots.  _No way in hell I’m sharing a room with you and even one stupid beetle._

Fortunately, Momo didn’t find any on the way back and they climbed the stairs to the second floor, heading down the narrow hallway to their room. 

Momo got to the door first, Rin following and idly tossing the key in his hand.

“Rin-senpai, look a note!”  Momo pulled a piece of paper off the door and peered at it. 

“What’s it say?”

Momo squinted at the message for a moment and shrugged.  “I think it’s in Italian.”

Rin snatched the paper from the kid’s hand.

_[Signore Matsuoka, please stop by the lobby desk to pick up a package.  Grazie tante.]_

Rin rolled his eyes and unlocked the door.  “This is half in English, dummy.”

“Oh.”  Momo headed into the room and jumped on the nearer of the two twin beds, which was already a mess of strewn clothes and a couple of books. 

The small room had a tile floor, two beds with lamps and nightstands, a wardrobe, mini fridge, and a window that looked out over the soccer field. 

Rin hung his sweatshirt on a hook next to the wardrobe and smoothed a wrinkle from his T-shirt.  “I’ll be right back.  _Don’t_ get into trouble.”

“Hehee.”  Momo grinned at him and flopped onto his back, picking up a comic book.

Downstairs, Rin rang the bell at the desk. 

From the adjacent office, a clerk stepped out.  “ _Buona sera_.”

“ _Buona sera._ ”  Rin held out the note.  “ _I was told to come by for a package._ ”

The clerk nodded, taking the paper from him.  “ _Un momento per favore._ ”  The man disappeared into the office…and came out with a box about the size of a toaster oven.  There were several labels and barcodes, Rin immediately recognizing Haru’s English script. 

_[Rin Matsuoka, care of…]_

“ _Grazie_.”  Rin picked up the box…it was light as a feather and he knew instantly what it was.  _Damnit, Haru._

Rin carried the package upstairs.  Momo leapt off the bed the second he walked in.

“Rin-senpai, what did you get?”  His golden eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Calm down.”  Rin set the box on the foot of his bed.  He grabbed a small pair of scissors from his travel kit, cutting through the tape.

The object inside was nestled in packing paper.  Rin picked it up with a sigh—a stuffed gray dolphin.  _I should’ve guessed._   The attached tag was in English, from the place where Haru swam with dolphins in Phoenix.

“Rin-senpai, it’s a dolphin!”

 _Yeah, no shit, Momo_.  His cheeks warmed.  At least Momo wasn’t going to judge him.  The bigger concern was the kid accidentally letting it slip in casual conversation…

Momo peered into the box.  “Rin-senpai, there’s something else in here.”  He started digging around in the packing paper.

“ _Oi_ —” 

The kid came up with a second plush toy, this one slightly smaller.  “Look, a sea otter!  Can I have it?  Can I?  Can I?”

Rin exhaled.  “Yeah, Momo.  Knock yourself out.”  _Mikoshiba’s doing, clearly._

“Yay!”  Momo spun around and dropped onto his bed, hugging the toy.

Rin made sure there weren’t any other surprises in the box, then set it aside.  He sat on the edge of his bed, the dolphin in his lap as he fished out his phone.  8pm here…so it was 11am in Flagstaff.

“Rin-senpai, I’m going to the bathroom.”  Momo got up and scampered from the room.

“You don’t have to tell me, dummy,” Rin muttered as he logged onto wireless. 

Haru had responded a couple of hours ago to his message that he’d arrived.  _[OK.]_

 _Tch, Haru_.  Rin texted back.  _[I got the dolphin today.  Thanks.  Tell Mikoshiba that Momo likes the sea otter.]_

Rin dropped back to the bed, staring up at the white ceiling with the dolphin tucked to his chest.  _Thirty-one days to go.  A whole fucking month…_

The phone buzzed in his hand. 

Rin lifted the device and answered the Skype call, not changing positions.  “Hey.”

 _“It wasn’t supposed to get there until tomorrow,”_ Haru said.  He was lying in bed, curled up with his shark plush toy, wearing Rin’s shark T-shirt.

Rin brought the stuffed dolphin into view of the camera.  “Well, it’s here early.”  He set the toy down on his chest, beneath his chin.  “I don’t even want to think about how much that cost—international shipping.”

Haru shrugged.  _“Mikoshiba pitched in, too.  It wasn’t that much.  I have prize money from Bergen and Barcelona, you know.”_

That was true.  Especially after all of those meet records, Haru was probably swimming in it.  Rin smiled.  “How’s your head?”

 _“Better today.  I’m just napping before lunch.”_   Haru’s lips pursed.  _“It’s hard sleeping.”_

“Because of the altitude?”

Haru shook his head.  _“Without you.”_

 _Fucking tell me about it._   Rin sighed, a familiar ache running through his chest.  “Haru…”

The door opened and closed as Momo got back, humming to himself and flopping down on his bed.

On the screen, Haru lifted a brow in question.

Rin nodded.

_“I’ll call later.  At the usual time.”_

“OK.  Get some sleep.”

“…Rin-senpai, are you talking to Nanase-senpai?”

Rin waved at the screen and ended the call.

“Do you wanna be…alone?”

 _Yeah, but not for what you’re probably thinking about_.  Rin glanced over…  Momo’s eyes were wide and his cheeks were pink, the sea otter hugged tight in his arms.

“Don’t think weird things, dummy.”  Rin set his phone on the nightstand.

“Hee.”  Momo grinned and rolled over, picking up his book again.

Except for the kid’s humming and occasionally breaking into song, nights with Momo as a roommate weren’t too bad.  Despite how annoying it could be, having someone hanging off his every word, if Rin were honest with himself, he’d admit he liked having the kid around.  Momo’s carefree exuberance, the way he always wanted to swim relay and loved to win…  To Momo, the whole world was shiny new and full of possibilities.  Nothing was holding that kid back.  _I was sorta like that once, wasn’t I?_

Rin thought back to that very first relay, how he told Nagisa he could swim breaststroke _if_ he made the best time on the whole team.  _Add cocksure and bossy and that would be about right._

He smiled to himself, ruefully.  Turning onto his side, Rin squished the dolphin in his arms…wishing he could hold Haru instead.

* * *

Thursday, June 23rd, 2016

* * *

“ _Did it help?”_

“Shut up, Haru.”  Rin’s face warmed, but he hugged the dolphin a little tighter.

Haru smiled knowingly on the screen of Rin’s phone, his chin resting on the head of the plush shark he held.  _I know it did, Rin_ , his eyes said.

 _You’re still not going to get me to admit it._ Yeah, he slept better than he had in a whole week and yeah, he woke up feeling pretty rested.  He didn’t know _how_ Haru managed to get the dolphin to smell like chlorine, but that was a comfort, too. 

It was almost 6am in Rome and almost 9pm in Flagstaff.  They were Skyping from common areas of their respective dorms, in their pajamas (though, presumably, Haru was wearing shorts at least, and not flashing his boxer briefs at their teammates or any university students).  Rin was sitting on a small sofa with his feet tucked under him to avoid the cold, tile floor.  The picture window faced the soccer field to the west of the building and a slowly lightening sky above a row of leafy trees.  The common area was adjacent to the restrooms, in the center of the building between the guy’s rooms and the girl’s rooms.  The stairwell and elevators were just around the corner.

“How was practice?”

Haru shrugged.  _“Fine, I guess.  Coach Akagi made me wear my square legs today.  My tan line’s pretty epic.”_

 _Your tan line’s pretty epic regardless_.  Rin smiled at the thought.  “You should see mine.  I’m like, paper white.  It’s tragic.”

Haru’s eyes glittered.  _“Send me a pic, Rin.”_

“Fuck no, I’m not sending you a picture of my pale-ass legs.”

_“When we were kids, we only wore—”_

“Yeah, well, now I’m an adult and I don’t have to, so—”

Rin stopped at the sound of footsteps in the open stairwell.  He cringed, wondering who he was about to embarrass himself in front of…  If they didn’t get close enough, they wouldn’t see that he had a stuffed toy in his arms.  _Damnit_ , _I should’ve brought a blanket or something_.  Though, like that would be any less weird—a blanket with an odd shaped lump next to him on the couch—

“Would you just _listen_ , for once?”

Rin froze at the sound of Coach Maekawa’s voice, her words a harsh whisper tinged with desperation.  On the screen of his phone, Haru fell quiet.

“This isn’t healthy, Noboru—”

Rin’s eyes went wide.

“Ha.  What, Kotone?”  Sugiyama’s voice was thick with sarcasm.  “What is it you think I’m doing?”

“You’re obsessing.  I’ve seen you do this before.  Don’t tell me it’s still about Beijing—”

“ _Lay off_.  It’s none of your damn business.”

Their footsteps reached the second floor.

“The hell it isn’t!  You make it my business when you start acting like this.  Noboru, it was eight _years_ ago—”

The two rounded the corner, their voices cutting off abruptly.  Rin glanced over.  There wasn’t any point pretending he wasn’t paying attention, nor anywhere to hide in the small, spartanly furnished common area.  Sugiyama and Maekawa were both in workout gear, carrying towels and water bottles like they’d just come back from the gym or from an early morning run.  Maekawa was gripping one of Sugiyama’s arms, like she was trying to keep him from walking away from her.

Sugiyama went rigid, seeing Rin.  He glared at Maekawa and broke free from her grasp, stalking off in a silent rage.  The door to the men’s restroom swung hard enough to hit the wall as he went inside.

Maekawa’s lips thinned into a line.  Her hair was pulled back, a sheen of sweat dotting her brow.  She came over, her gaze flicking to the phone in Rin’s hand. 

“Matsuoka-kun, curfew,” she said, her tone flat and leaving no room for argument or questions.

“Hai.”

“You too, Nanase-kun.”

“ _Hai_ ,” Haru said.

She turned away, a sigh falling from her lips as she left, heading into the women’s restroom.

The whole exchange left Rin with a chill, an uncomfortable feeling taking residence in his gut.  He would’ve been lying if he claimed he wasn’t curious, but at the same time, whatever had happened to make Sugiyama that upset…there was something awful about seeing it.  Rin felt it gnawing at him, under his skin, though he couldn’t quite identify the feeling.  For now, he just knew he didn’t want to be here when Sugiyama came out of the bathroom.

“…I should go.”

 _“Yeah.”_   Haru’s face reflected the discomfort Rin felt. _“Text me later?”_

“I will.  ‘Night, Haru.”

_“Bye, Rin.”_

Rin got up, carrying the plush dolphin under his arm as he padded silently down the hall, back to his room.

-x-

_“Dad!  Dad!  Look at that!”  Rin pointed at the screen, at the swimmer in lane four who was lengths ahead of everyone else going into the turn of the 100m fly.  “He’s so fast!”  Rin tugged on his father’s arm, the two of them sitting on the floor in front of the TV.  He couldn’t look away from the screen.  “Dad!  Are you looking?”_

_Rin’s dad chuckled, curling an arm around his waist.  “Yeah, Rin, I’m watching.”_

_Rin was on his knees, leaning towards the TV as the swimmers raced towards the finish…  A gold line trailed the leader across the pool at Tatsumi, indicating the national record pace.  The cheering got loud and Rin held his breath—_

_The lane four swimmer hit the wall, the sportscaster’s voice rising with excitement:  “A whole second and a half under the national record time!  Newcomer Sugiyama Noboru-kun is bound for Athens!”_

_In the pool, Sugiyama thrust a fist into the air in triumph, the camera focusing on his grinning, tired face.  He hugged the swimmer in the lane next to him and shook hands with several others._

_Rin sat back on his heels, in awe.  “Dad, that’s gonna be me someday.”_

_They headed for the pool the next morning, down the street from Sano Elementary.  Rin rode on his father’s shoulders._

_“Hey Dad, is butterfly the best stroke?”_

_“Well, it’s the hardest stroke for sure.  If you can swim that, everything else seems easy.”_

_“Then I’m swimming butterfly!”  Rin grinned.  “‘Cause I’m gonna be the best in Japan.  Just like Sugiyama-kun.”_

…Rin opened his eyes slowly as the memories faded.  It wasn’t that he’d forgotten, not exactly.  But they were memories he’d locked away with all the others ones—happy times with his father, with his family, that were too painful to remember.  Rin sighed, tightening his arm around the stuffed dolphin.  Deciding he _could_ be brave enough to face the past was one thing, but it wasn’t fair—the memories coming when he wasn’t ready, when Haru wasn’t here.  Rin pressed his face into his pillow, waiting for the alarm to go off.

-x-

At breakfast, Rin ignored most of the conversation going on at the table.  The dining hall was crowded with athletes from all over the world with many different sports represented.  The room was furnished with long tables seating twelve, adjacent to a glass-walled walkway.  Rin sat next to Momo with Otani across from him.  Sada and Kawamura were also present, though, _whoever invited that guy…_   They all wore the same red and black Team Japan T-shirts with one white sleeve and black shorts with a water pattern.  Sugiyama and their coaches weren’t around.  

“How’s your roommate?” Sada asked, brushing a section of hair back from her forehead.

Momo was utterly silent as he ate, staring across the table at Sada and almost not blinking.

“He’s pretty focused,” Kawamura said with an easy smile.  “You should’ve seen his face when I suggested the usual sock-on-the-doorknob…”

Rin fought to keep from rolling his eyes, turning his attention to his tray.  _Wow, I really don’t need to be listening to this._

Sada laughed.  “Guess you’re outta luck, huh?  That’s too bad.”

Otani, across from Rin, flushed dark.  “You two aren’t, uhm…”  She didn’t manage to say anything else.

There was a pause as Sada and Kawamura glanced at each other.

“I don’t hook up with teammates,” Sada said.

“It’s a bad idea,” Kawamura said.  “Too much potential for drama.”

Rin stiffened, his teeth clenching.  He nearly dropped his fork and couldn’t help looking over—

“Relax, Matsuoka,” Kawamura said, lifting a glass of juice.  “No one thinks you and Nanase are merely ‘hooking up.’  Especially after Barcelona.”

Sada sighed, a piece of toast in her hand.  “We should all be that lucky, finding what the two of you have.”

Their acknowledgement of the difference didn’t make Rin any less pissed.  He lost his appetite.  “Whatever,” he muttered, pushing his chair back from the table.  He grabbed his tray and got up, done with the conversation.

As he left, he caught Sada’s quiet reply.  “I guess it’s not completely drama free, hmm?”

“He has issues with me for other reasons,” Kawamura murmured.

 _Fuck_.  Rin kept walking, his cheeks going hot.  _I didn’t realize you knew about that_.  Was it that obvious or had Sousuke said something?  Either way… _damnit, now I’m the one feeling like a jerk_.  Rin bussed his dishes and headed outside…

-x-

It was a short shuttle ride from the training center to the _Foro Italico_ , the sports complex where the Olympics were held in 1960.  From the vehicle, Rin looked out upon sprawling salmon-colored buildings with white windows and trim, each marked with the Olympic rings.  The complex was set against vibrant greenery with flags flying in the breeze and larger than life monuments to legendary Italian athletes.  A colorful banner with a woman swimming butterfly against a backdrop of Rome advertised the _Internazionali di Nuoto 53_ _° Settecolli_ , the annual 3-day competition that started tomorrow.  Behind the banner, Rin just caught a glimpse of the white upper structure of the Olympic Stadium.

The shuttle continued south, stopping in a parking lot where booths and little kiosks lined the fence outside of the gate, some still being set up.  Beyond the fence, Rin could see the open-air _Stadio Olimpico del Nuoto_ , the sparkling 50m pool flanked by rows and rows of seating.  The seats were in different shades of blue and white, making a wave pattern reminiscent of the logo for the Italian swimming federation, the _Federazione Italiana Nuoto._   The pool was its own valley, surrounded by towering stone pines with their distinctive umbrella-like shape. 

It was another balmy day with a few scattered clouds that might bring a sprinkling of rain later on.  Rin tugged on the hem of his shorts as he got out of the shuttle, wishing they were longer.  Even with temperatures approaching 30 degrees C, his legs felt cold without his warmup pants and leg skins.  Coach Maekawa had mandated square legs all day.  _Damnit._

Momo was wide-eyed as usual, taking a break from staring at Sada to run up to each booth and inspect the offerings.

“Rin-senpai, would Gou-san like me in these?”  Momo held up a skimpy swim brief in green, white, and red that said _ITALIA_ across the back.

Rin hooked an arm around Momo’s neck and dragged the kid away from the stand. 

They entered through the gate, joining the crowds of athletes, officials, and support staff making their way to and from the pool.  After registration, they headed for the locker rooms and finally got out to the pool deck.

Rin squinted in the bright sunlight, his cap and goggles clutched in one hand as he looked down the length of the pool.  He was pretty sure he was blinding everyone with his pale legs.  The rest of his teammates had tan lines just above the knee, except for Momo, who was perfectly bronzed head-to-toe.

The ten-lane, 50m pool had a broad deck of red tile with white umbrellas set up over chairs for officials at both ends of the pool.  The diving tower and plunge pool were separate, a temporary partition set up across the width of the deck between the two pools.  Looking up into the stands, Rin could imagine crowds of spectators and the sound of loud cheering…  The FINA World Aquatic Championships were held here in 2009.  Thousands of additional seats—including several huge sections on the hill behind the turn side of the pool—had been in place then.  That year, Japan claimed four medals.

“Alright, warm ups,” Coach Maekawa said, lifting her whistle.  Her hair was pulled back into a tight tail.  “Let’s go.”  She’d been notably terse since this morning.

As for Sugiyama, when the guy wasn’t on his phone, he was stone-faced and silent.  Rin could tell by the way he carried himself, though—he was on edge.

“Matsuoka, you’re leading off.”  Maekawa pointed him towards lane three, which was currently unoccupied.

“Hai.”  Rin donned his cap and snapped the strap of his goggles before he took the block and dove.

-x-

 _“…How was today?”_ Haru asked.

“Kinda weird,” Rin said, nudging a rock with the toe of his sneaker as he held the phone to his ear.

Nearby, Momo was carefully searching tree after tree along the edge of the soccer field in front of their dorm.  He was more attentive, focused, and _quiet_ than Rin had ever seen him.

“Things just felt off.”  Rin glanced aside, making sure Momo was fully ensconced in his searching.  “She said she was just tired, but you could tell she was upset.  And he seemed…frustrated.”

_“Hm.”_

Rin pressed his lips.  “You didn’t, did you?  About Beijing.”

_“No, I figured it’s best we stay out of it.”_

“Same here.”

_“Us speculating would only make things worse.  It’s not like we can do anything to help.”_

“Yeah.”  Rin looked up at clear blue skies, at the sun dipping towards the horizon.  He was seized by a sudden longing, wishing he could bury his face in Haru’s hair and feel Haru’s arms around his waist…letting that calm presence settle him.  But they were 9800 kilometers apart with thirty days left to go.  Rin closed his eyes, swallowing.  “I miss you.”  His voice came out sounding raw.

 _“I miss you too,”_ Haru whispered and it wasn’t as good as a hug, but it was something…enough to take the edge off.

Rin sighed, feeling his muscles loosen a little.

_“I’ll miss the heats tomorrow.  I asked, but they said I couldn’t stay up.”_

“Well, yeah.  It’ll be like 2am in Flagstaff.”

_“Nn.  I would’ve gotten up.  But Coach Akagi had to get special access to the streams.  They’re blocked or something here.  I’ll watch your finals, though.  We have the morning off, all three days, so we can watch instead.”_

“I’ll have to show you something good, then.”  Rin exhaled, wincing a little.  “The hundred fly and the fifty free, back-to-back.”  His two most difficult races.

Haru made a soft sound of amusement.  _“You know you like it, Rin.  If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t want to do it.”_

 _Yeah_ …  “I’d like it better if you were here.”  He pouted.

 _“I know.  So would I.”_   Haru paused.  _“Get some rest.  I’ll call you later, before I go to bed.  The usual time.”_

Rin smiled.  “For my pep talk?”

_“Yeah.”_

“OK.”

_“Hug the dolphin tonight and pretend it’s me.”_

“Haru…”

_“That’s what I do.  Every night.”_

Rin breath caught, his cheeks warming.

_“Have a good night, Rin.”_

“Thanks, Haru.”  Rin lowered the phone, drawing a lungful of air and letting it out slowly as all kinds of wonderful feelings swirled inside him.  _I love you so fucking much_ — 

“Rin-senpai!  Look what I found!” 

“Agh, _Momo!_ ”  Rin jumped away from whatever the kid had captured in his cupped hands.

* * *

Friday, June 24th, 2016

* * *

Nothing about this was going to be easy—Rin wasn’t entertaining any false notions this time, that he could magically own this just by showing up and getting in the water.  _Knowing_ that was a small, but important victory.  Barring a major fuck up, he wouldn’t choke like in Canet, but he knew better than to expect the same insanely good times he’d put up at the Japan Swim or the Japan Open with Haru there.

Rin waited behind the blocks while the swimmers in the fourth of six heats in the men’s 100m fly raced towards the finish.  The day was clear and hot with the sun high overhead, the light catching the churning flecks of foam that scattered into the air with each muscled plunge into the water.  Spectators dotted the stands; the place far from full during the morning’s heats, which were nearly at an end.  Momo and Otani were already done after the men’s 50m backstroke and the women’s 100m breaststroke—hanging out in the shade beneath the stands with their coaches.  Sada and Sugiyama were in the waiting area and Rin didn’t bother guessing where Kawamura had gone off to—the guy only had one event all three days and it wasn’t until tomorrow.

As the fourth heat leaders hit the wall right around 53 seconds, Rin smoothed a wrinkle from his Team Japan swim cap.  Wearing his leg skins again felt good—one less thing on his mind.  He wasn’t _relaxed_ , but he wasn’t strung-up tense either.  Haru made sure of that.

_“Have fun out there today, Rin.”_

_“…That’s it?  That’s your fucking pep talk?”_

_“Yeah…”  Haru looked back at him matter-of-factly through the phone.  “You want me to tell you to show me something good out there?  Or that you’d better win?”  He shrugged.  “Of course I want that.  But I don’t need to be one more person pressuring you.  That won’t help you relax.”  Haru’s eyes softened.  “Rin, I want to see you smile again.  The way you used to.  When you swam and competed because you loved it and even when you lost, you still smiled.”_

_“Haru…”  Rin’s eyes filled with liquid._

_“You know, before you went to Australia and got weird.”_

_Rin half-smiled, half-scowled and rubbed his face.  “Yeah, thanks, Haru.”  He piled on extra sarcasm._

_Haru just smiled with his eyes, hugging his shark plush toy and looking happy.  “You’re welcome, Rin.”_

The announcers called the fifth heat in English and Italian.  Rin settled his goggles into place, snapping the strap as the whistle pulsed.  He approached the block for lane four, resting one foot on the rough surface as he waited for the long whistle.

“Rin-senpai!!”  “Matsuoka-kun!”  Momo and Otani were yelling and waving from the side. 

At the long pulse, Rin stepped up onto the block and positioned his feet as he bent down to grasp the edge.  Yeah, he felt the nerves—every bit of them, endlessly somersaulting in the pit of his stomach—but there was a warm glow inside that hadn’t been there before.  It calmed his heart and Rin smiled as he tensed for the buzzer, his eyes locked on fifty meters of clear blue water the same shade as Haru’s eyes.

 _It’s my first race, knowing that I love you._ Fast times, slow times, medaling or missing the podium entirely… _nothing can change that._

At the start signal, he dove— 

Rin placed first in his heat at 52.32.  The time didn’t thrill him, but he felt good about it, all things considered.  As he swam to the side of the pool with his competitors and climbed out, he couldn’t help comparing now to the way he’d tanked in Canet.  It was progress, at least.

He glanced over as the sixth heat took the blocks.  Sugiyama was top seed in lane four, with an Italian on his right in lane three and a Hungarian swimmer on his left in lane five.  The guy looked whole-body focused today, if a tad rigid, but that could’ve been Rin’s imagination.

The shrill whistle pierced the air, Rin grabbing his stuff and heading into the shade to join his teammates.  The sixth heat dove, Otani and Momo cheering as the swimmers surfaced into rapid strokes of fly.

“Sugiyama-senpai!”

Maekawa was beside them with her arms folded over her T-shirt and her eyes locked on the race. 

After a quick once-over with the towel, Rin donned his red and white T-shirt and happily pulled on his warmup pants over his leg skins, rather than running around in shorts like the rest of his teammates.   

In the pool, the sixth heat charged towards the finish…  Sugiyama took first place, his time flashing up at 52.24.

It was a downright leisurely time for the Japanese record-holder, Rin fighting a sigh.  _Just so you can hand me my ass in the final again, huh?_   He scowled, running a hand through his damp hair.  _You could at least pretend to be trying._

The heats for the women’s 50m free got underway a few minutes later.  Sada would be swimming in heat seven of eight, in lane three.  She was chasing the Japanese qualifying time with a crushing three-quarters of a second to go after the Japan Open. 

As soon as her heat walked out, heading towards the opposite end of the pool for the start, Momo went super still and quiet, staring at the woman in her blood-red kneeskins.  Rin rolled his eyes and headed off, water bottle in hand, to check in for the men’s 50m free.

From the waiting area, he watched the official results scroll on the board after the heats were complete, Sada just sneaking under 25 seconds and taking second place overall.  The leader from the Netherlands—the meet record-holder—came in at 24 and a half.

For the 50m free, Rin was in the last heat, in lane five.  He wouldn’t attempt to go breathless in the heats—not like Haru in Barcelona.  He just needed a spot in the A-Final.  Then, if he had enough left after tonight’s 100m fly showdown, he’d give it a shot. 

 _It’s hard to get excited in the finals, when you’re not swimming with me,_ Haru said.

 _Yeah_.  Rin stretched his cap over his head, covering his damp hair.  _Fucking tell me about it._

-x-

They returned to the training center for the long break between the morning and afternoon sessions.  After lunch at the dining hall, Rin managed to fall asleep.  It probably had something to do with the stuffed dolphin in his arms.  He woke up just after 3pm and checked his phone.  Momo was snoring softly on the other bed.

The text messages were starting to roll in from Japan.  It was 10pm at home.

_[Rin-chan, ganbatte!]_

_[Good luck, Rin-senpai.  I will be making sure Nagisa-kun stays awake.]_

_[Hehe.  Rei-chan, you’re the one who fell asleep and drooled on my shoulder last time.]_

_[I did not do anything as un-beautiful as that!]_

Rin smiled wistfully, the dolphin plush tucked against his chest.  _Way to make me jealous, you guys.  You get to be together 24/7._

_[Rin-honey, good luck tonight!  You know I’ll just pass out on the sofa if I try to stay up, but Mr. & Mrs. Mikoshiba figured out some way to record it and promised I could watch it with them in the morning.  They are such nice people—the whole family.  I just wish the boys would wear more clothes?]_

_[Onii-chan!  Your traps are looking fabulous today!]_

Sousuke wrote him, too.  _[Rin, it’s nice to see you kicking ass out there.  Now clean it up tonight.]_

Lori and Russell had wished him the best and Nitori’s message was a gush-fest like usual, but the text that surprised him the most was from Makoto. 

_[Rin, good luck!  The Koutei-Todai crowd is cheering you on tonight.]_

Rin couldn’t stop himself from picturing it—Makoto hanging out in the usual place with the usual crowd, watching the races in Barcelona.  He would’ve seen it all on the livestream—Haru giving Rin the medal from the 100m free…the embrace after the 50m free…  Rin felt the guilt like a twinge, even though it was Haru’s choice and not anything he’d done. 

He tapped out a reply and hit _send_.  _[Thanks, Makoto.]_

Rin sighed, letting his arm drop to the mattress, phone still in hand.  He didn’t feel the same way about Sousuke’s confession.  They’d had it out already and things seemed settled now.  If Sousuke was upset, he was hiding it and there wasn’t much Rin could do about that.  But there hadn’t been any more comments with subtext to suggest Sousuke wasn’t accepting the way things were.

Makoto, on the other hand, Rin didn’t know how to read at all. 

The phone buzzed against his palm.  Rin lifted it…

 _[I will say it’s a lot easier getting done late at night without Mikoshiba and Sakamoto here,]_ Makoto wrote.  _[Tell Momo-kun we’re cheering for him, too, OK?]_

_[Yeah, I will.]_

_[Hang in there, Rin.  I’m sure it’s hard for the two of you, but it’s not forever, you know?]_

Rin’s eyes widened.  _Makoto…_   A lump formed in his throat as he thought back to the sandy-haired boy who always smiled with genuine warmth, standing beside a glaring, defiant Haru at Iwatobi SC.  Those weren’t the kind of words you said if you didn’t mean it.

Rin sniffed hard and ran his wrist across his eyes.  _[Yeah.  Thanks.]_

-x-

The main pool closed to warm ups at 6pm, prior to the start of the afternoon session.  Rin climbed out, avoiding the crowds of athletes and officials as he headed to the side to dry off and get dressed.  The stands weren’t full, but there were tons of spectators in attendance compared to the morning heats.

From the outer pocket of his gear bag, Rin grabbed his phone and switched over to Skype—

The thing rang in his hand before he could call.

Rin smiled, answering.  “Haru.”

 _“Rin.”_   It was loud with voices wherever Haru was.  The video connected a second after the audio, coming alive to Haru on a couch in Flagstaff in the same T-shirt and warmup pants as Rin wore.  And…

Rin cocked a brow.  “Really?  You brought that?”

 _“Yeah.”_   Haru had an arm wrapped snuggly around the shark plush.  _“So I can hug it after you race since I can’t hug you.”_

Rin’s face heated.  _Damnit, Haru._

Someone in Team Japan warmups dropped down next to Haru and leaned into view.  _“Hey-hey, Matsuoka!”_   Mikoshiba grinned, taking up most of the screen.  _“Where’s my little brother?”_

“He’s around here somewhere—”

“Nii-chan!”  Momo jumped onto Rin’s back, still dripping wet from the pool.

 _“Oi!”_   Rin shook the kid off, but Momo just latched onto his arm instead, peering into the phone.

“Nii-chan!”  Momo waved excitedly.

_“Momotarou!”_

“ _Tch_.  Don’t you two have your own phones?”

 _“Does Momo know how to use the internet?”_ Haru asked from behind Mikoshiba.

It was a fair point.  With instructions in Italian or English, the kid probably couldn’t even log on _._

_“Momotarou, you’re gonna do great tonight!”_

“Yeah, I am!”

Rin sighed with resignation and held the phone.

_“You’re gonna make the whole family proud!”_

“Yeah!”

_“Gou-kun, too!”_

“Hey!”  Rin scowled.

Haru, just visible in the background, lifted a brow, glancing at Mikoshiba aside.

But Mikoshiba was too focused to notice, grinning wide and making a determined fist with one hand.  _“Now go stretch out like a champ and don’t be late for check-in!”_

“ _Yosh!_ ”  Momo thrust a matching fist into the air and bounded off into the sunlight, full of energy.

 _“Matsuoka, good luck!”_   Mikoshiba gave him a thumb’s up.

“Thanks, Mikoshiba.”

The guy hopped up, Rin and Haru finally getting to look at each other again.

The expression on Haru’s face was wistful and Rin could tell, just from that look—

“You miss them, huh?  Everyone.”

Haru’s eyes softened.  _“Yeah.”_

-x-

Momo got his first win in the 50m backstroke that night, finishing just .02s ahead of the competition, with a swimmer from Israel taking silver and an Italian taking the bronze.  He hopped around afterwards in his speedo and even Sada’s presence didn’t shush him.

“Did you see me?  Rin-senpai?”

“Yeah, Momo.”

“Hehee.  Rin-senpai, did you—”

Rin caught the kid in a headlock.  “You already _said_ , Momo.”

Momo just grinned, wiggling.

After the 400m free, Otani earned silver in a tough A-Final for the 100m breaststroke.  At 1:06.42, she’d made her best time yet, but it wasn’t enough to catch the Lithuanian swimmer who took gold.

Coach Fujino managed to get Momo into a T-shirt and shorts at least before he bounced onto the podium to receive his medal and pose for pictures.  _Pretty sure all those photos are blurry._   The kid just wouldn’t keep still.

Rin headed to the waiting area for check-in, toasty in his warmups.  He stood for inspection beside the diving pool with the other seven swimmers for the A-Final of the men’s 100m fly, behind the partition that separated them from the start side of the main pool.  His competitors were from Great Britain, Hungary, Belarus, Italy, Greece...and Japan. Rin had second seed in lane five; Sugiyama would be on his right in lane four, while the fourth seed swimmer from Hungary had Rin’s left in lane six. 

Sugiyama was sitting in one of the chairs with his earbuds in and his warmups zipped to his throat.  His eyes were closed and every once in a while his hands would curl against his knees.

 _I guess you’re not immune to the nerves either_.  Rin swung his arms to stay loose, trying to ignore the guy…trying not to think about the looming July 1 st deadline.  He needed to go sub-51, at a minimum, to stay relevant.  But it was a feat he’d only accomplished twice—at the Japan Open with Haru.  Beating Sugiyama…he didn’t waste his time fantasizing about that.

 _I know you’ll be happy either way—whether we swim the medley together or not—and I wouldn’t trade all the other races for it._ But that didn’t stop him from wanting it.  Rin closed his eyes briefly, thinking of Haru in the States, watching with the stuffed shark in his arms.  He smiled faintly.  _I’ll take that hug, Haru.  If this goes well or if I fuck it up—either way._   His nerves settled.

Once the B-Final was complete, Rin put his goggles on and got in line. 

He walked out, hearing the cheering from his teammates and the spectators in the stadium seating above.  Otani, Momo, and their coaches were on the left, in the shaded area beneath the stands.  Rin adjusted the start block at lane five, then stripped off his warmups into the provided bin.  He shook out his arms, staring at the glossy water while the announcers named them lane-by-lane in English and Italian.

 _Haru.  I wish you were here._   At the shrill blast of the whistle, Rin approached the block, lifting one foot onto its surface.  _Not ‘here’ in the stands, but_ here _, right behind me, waiting for your turn as anchor._

At the long pulse, Rin climbed up, positioning his feet carefully and grasping the edge of the block.  It wasn’t actually that hard to imagine, though it was bittersweet—an ache of longing alongside the thrill.  Rin drew a deep breath and smiled.  _Watch this, Haru._

“ _Take your marks._ ”

Rin drew back…and sprung forward at the start, slicing into the cool, sparkling water and starting his dolphin kicks.  He surfaced into rapid strokes of fly, not holding back.  Instead of gasping for air at altitude and all those practices fighting the stupid square legs, Rin’s muscles were humming—soaked in oxygen—and he glided through the water like one of Haru’s dolphins—free and unhindered.

He made the open turn at the far end of the pool, noting that Sugiyama was right up with him, but as he slipped underwater again and came up…he stopped thinking about that guy or any of the other swimmers.  His focus was on the block where Haru was waiting, where Haru was bent forward and watching him with that cool look of concentration on his face…

 _I’m coming, Haru_.  Rin turned it up, feeling the rush, and sprinted towards the finish, towards the phantom of Haru in his mind—

Rin slapped the wall and popped up, breathing hard as the exertion finally caught up with him.  There was loud cheering all around and he tugged his goggles down to his throat, lifting his gaze to the board—

_1 – Rin MATSUOKA – Japan – 50.68 CR_

Rin’s eyes blew wide in disbelief.  _What the…?_   He blinked, his hand tightening on the side of the pool.  His time was right there in bright digital letters against a field of blue.  Further down:

_4 – Noboru SUGIYAMA – Japan – 52.18_

Confusion flooded him.  A disparity of that magnitude…there was no fucking way.  He glanced over…

Sugiyama was clinging to the side of the pool, his body heaving with rough breaths…  His head was down, his cap off and clutched in a shuddering, white-knuckled grasp. 

Rin went ice cold.  _Oh God…_  

The other swimmers were starting to clear the pool, a few stopping in his lane for a handshake.  Rin managed to reciprocate, nodding to salutations in various languages.

Sugiyama swam to the side of the pool and paused briefly, as if he had to gather himself before hoisting his body out of the water.  He didn’t acknowledge anyone as he went behind the block and snatched up his things—

Rin hauled himself out of the water at lane five, grabbing his stuff from the bin and pulling on his warmups as he watched Sugiyama walk away.  The guy’s back was fucking _rigid_ , twitching with quick pulses of shallow breaths.  He was headed for the corridor beneath the stands, other athletes taking one look at him and jumping aside to get out of the way.

Rin was slow to move, but he couldn’t look away.  It was like watching an impending train wreck and he was helpless to do anything but make it worse.  Time came in long seconds, the water dripping from the ends of his hair to his shoulders...

_“Dad!”  Rin clutched the black suit with slashes of red, freed from a mountain of shredded wrapping paper.  “It’s just like Sugiyama-kun’s!”_

_His father chuckled.  “Well, it’s a little shorter, but you can work up to jammers and leg skins when you’re older.”_

_Rin threw himself into his dad’s arms, almost knocking them both to the floor.  “Thanks, Dad!”_

_Warm, strong arms engulfed him, holding him tight.  “Happy 8 th Birthday, Rin.”_

It was hard to breathe.  Rin managed to swallow around the lump in his throat, but that was all.

When Sugiyama was in the shadow of the corridor, the shaking got worse.  The celebrated Olympian hurled his things to the ground and Rin flinched at the sound of a crash, his vision blurring with horrified, unshed tears.

He stood there paralyzed on the edge of the pool deck, watching his rival and childhood hero lose it right in front of him.

 


	20. Fly & free in the Eternal City, Part 2

Reality felt muted and surreal, like he was seeing it all from a distance—the officials head-to-toe in white and Coach Maekawa sprinting for the corridor.  Rin heard a mix of Italian, English, and Japanese, but it was all just noise.  As people clotted the corridor, concealing Sugiyama from view, his head was spinning—

The pool deck faded.  Instead, he remembered a dim hallway…

_The vending machine hummed in the background as the echo of his own voice faded.  “I’m obviously no better than this!  That’s why I was taken off the relay.  Forget it!  I’m done swimming!”  His left hand ached where he’d slammed it into the glass wall.  Nitori’s eyes were wide with panic; the boy flinched when Rin laid into the trash bin, sending aluminum cans and bits of refuse scattering across the concrete floor._

It was like looking in a mirror.  A tremor started, deep inside.  Rin’s cap and goggles slipped from his fingers, falling soundlessly to the tiled pool deck.  A tide of old feelings rose up within him— _fear…failure…inadequacy…_   Trying to tell himself he wasn’t like that anymore was such a lie.  There was _nothing_ standing between him and cracking like that again.  Another wall, another setback, another disappointment…  Either he’d give up entirely or he’d work himself to the same end.  If not for Haru…

 _Back then, you were the only one who got through to me—_   Rin clung to the memory in desperation.  He closed his eyes, imagining the soft blue of Haru’s gaze, the dirt that smudged Haru’s cheeks after their tussle—

_“It’s not too late, Rin,” Haru said, looking up at him earnestly.  “Let’s go.”  Rin’s tears cut streaks through the dust on Haru’s face.  Above them, tree branches swayed gently, bending in the breeze.  The leaves rustled—lush and green in the height of summer—but Rin’s eyes were filled with sakura blossoms…and Haru.  “It’s my turn to show you a sight you’ve never seen before.”_

The tension in Rin’s throat eased.  He drew a long breath and let it out slowly as he opened his eyes.  The small gathering of officials disappeared around the corner—Sugiyama and Maekawa with them; the athletes who had been looking on started to disperse.

 _Haru._   Rin bent down to retrieve his cap and goggles.  _You keep calming my storms, pulling me back when I fall apart._ His eyes were moist as he straightened, finally turning from that spot and heading back towards the waiting area.  _What the fuck did I ever do, that you ended up in love with me?_

Rin dried his eyes with the back of his hand, missing the familiar weight of the bracelet on his wrist.  The announcers were pressing on like nothing had happened.  Maybe to them, nothing had.  The camera might not’ve even caught the scene. 

The award ceremony for the women’s 100m breaststroke at the opposite end of the pool was the focus of everyone’s attention.  Otani was on the podium, waving happily with the silver medal around her neck and a wall full of sponsors’ logos behind her.  As soon as the ceremony was over, it would be time for the finals in the 50m free.  The dread settled leaden in Rin’s stomach.  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket, crushing his swim cap against his palm.  _Like there’s any possible way I can pull off a fifty now—_

“Rin-senpai!”

He paused next to the partition that separated the main pool from the waiting area, glancing over his shoulder as Momo ran over to him.

There was a puzzled look on the kid’s face, like he didn’t understand what just happened.  But Momo seemed to be on a mission, catching up breathlessly, his gold medal glinting in the sunlight against his Team Japan T-shirt.  In his hand was Rin’s phone.  “Your bag was ringing!” 

Rin didn’t need to ask who it was, his throat closing with a wave of emotion.  “…Thanks, Momo.”  He took the phone, lifting it to his ear as Momo scampered off. 

_“Rin?”_

Just the sound of Haru’s voice flooded him with longing and broke through his defenses.  Rin’s eyes stung as he headed around the partition into the waiting area.  There wasn’t any good place to have a private conversation.  The best he could manage was a shaded section of the wall to lean against, facing away from the other swimmers so they wouldn’t see the way he was barely holding it together.

_“You OK?”_

He blinked against the welling of liquid in his eyes.  Rin braced an arm against the wall, resting his forehead there.  “How did you—?”  But he realized it as soon as he asked—  _Fuck.  Of course._ The camera always followed the winner. 

 _“I can tell when you’re shaken up, Rin.”_  Wherever Haru was, it was quiet—not the crowded lounge area where he had been watching with the rest of their teammates.

“…You didn’t see why?”

_“No.  The camera cut away pretty fast.  But it’s not hard to guess what happened.”_

Rin swallowed around the lump in his throat, closing his eyes.  “Haru.  You remember regionals, our second year in high school?”  Before that hallway meltdown, he’d completely fucked up the 100m free.  Rin remembered how the slick tile felt under his hands, the way his muscles wouldn’t even work to let him climb out of the pool…

 _“Yeah,”_ Haru said _.  “That’s why I had to call.”_

Heat burned Rin’s eyes and nose and the back of his throat.  _You ran to me then, too._   His voice fell to a broken whisper.  “Fuck.  How do you always know?”

_“I don’t know.  I just…do.”_

Rin sniffed hard.  He leaned away from the wall, thrusting one hand through his hair to try and get it together.  But his fingers were shaking.  _Damnit!_   This couldn’t be happening now.  Not when he had _minutes_ before his next race.  Everyone would be watching.  He couldn’t blow a race like that again.  His breath came in shallow hitches.  _Oh God—_

 _“Don’t, Rin.  It’s OK.”_   Haru’s voice was utterly calm, slicing through his panic.  The words took hold of him the same way Haru used to—when they were kids and the storms came and the only way he got through the night was because Haru was with him. 

Rin let out a slow, controlled breath.  “But if I try and—”

_“You don’t have to, you know.”_

Was that any better—scratching a race because he couldn’t get his shit together?  Compared to a repeat of high school regionals, though…  He’d pick drama over humiliation any day.  Swimmers—even the best—scratched races occasionally, especially before or after a particularly difficult or important race.  But _he_ didn’t.  Rin could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d scratched in his whole life.

_“You should only swim if you want to.”_

_Tch_.  _You and your fucking free…_

_“It’s not like this race matters.  We both qualified already.”_

Rin pressed his lips.  _Yeah, but I wanted to show you…_

_“You can show me in Rio, Rin.  When we’re together.”_

He gripped the phone.  _Fuck!  I don’t want to wait that long.  I want to swim with you now._ The images ran through his mind—the two of them racing in adjacent lanes, fighting for the lead.  Those times when Haru went first and Rin could aim for him…and those rarer moments when he was ahead and he felt Haru chasing him.  He saw relays in front of scores of cheering fans…and the times when it was just the two of them messing around in the pool together—whether in the moonlight or in water strewn with cherry blossoms.  He remembered the way his heart raced when he saw Haru swim that breathless fifty meter free, the jealousy and admiration that filled him—that had him on his feet and down out of the stands, kissing Haru in front of the whole fucking planet—

A little spark woke inside him.  Rin turned, leaning his back against the wall.  His hand curled at his side as he watched the way the sun glinted off the surface of the water in the warm up pool.

_“…So?”_

“Hm?”

 _“You decided.”_   There was warmth and certainty in Haru’s voice.

Rin snorted.  “You can tell, huh?”

_“Yeah, your breathing changed.”_

His cheeks grew hot.  _Are you fucking serious?_

_“You’d suck at poker, Rin.”_

Rin cleared his throat, making his annoyance clear.

Haru made a soft sound of amusement and Rin relaxed.

“Na, Haru.”

_“Hm?”_

He pushed the toe of one shoe against the tiled pool deck.  “What did I ever do to make you love me?”

 _“You didn’t_ make _me do anything, Rin.”_   He imagined the defiant look on Haru’s face, the quirked brow.

“ _Tch_.  You know what I mean.”  _Because you didn’t fall in love with the way I flipping lose it all the time…_

There was a thoughtful pause on the other end of the line.  _“I don’t know.  Just be you, I guess.  It wasn’t anything you did, Rin.”_

Rin’s breath caught.  “Haru…”  The words sent a thrill through his heart, flooding him with so many wonderful feelings he couldn’t begin to sort them all right now.

On the opposite side of the pool, the men for the fifty free were starting to gather for check-in.  Over the loudspeaker, the announcer was introducing the swimmers for the B-Final of the women’s race.

_“You gotta go?”_

“Yeah.”  Rin straightened from the wall, smiling.  “Haru.  Watch this.”

-x-

Sada took silver in the A-Final for the women’s 50m free.  At 24.45, she’d met the Japanese qualifying time and earned a national record, with the top seed swimmer from the Netherlands taking the gold and a Canadian earning bronze. 

Rin passed her as he walked out in line with his competitors, heading to the turn side of the pool for the start.  They nodded to each other and bumped fists, Rin continuing on.  He didn’t spare a glance for the rest of his teammates, guessing that Otani would be in some kind of freak-out state when she heard what happened.  At least Kawamura wasn’t the type to get ruffled by—apparently—anything.  So the guy was useful for something when he wasn’t screwing Rin’s best friend or anyone else who happened to be convenient. 

The thought wasn’t really fair, Rin feeling a twinge of guilt for it.  The guy’s personal life and choices weren’t any of his business.  If Sousuke considered Kawamura a friend, the guy couldn’t be that bad.  Sousuke wasn’t the type to put up with assholes.  _Other than me…_

Rin stopped behind the block of lane six, two lanes down from the British top seed in lane four.  It was way past 2am (tomorrow) at home in Japan and nearing 11am (today) in Flagstaff.  He adjusted the block, knowing that Haru wasn’t the only one watching and cheering him on.  Sousuke and Makoto were probably still at the pub.  Nitori was likely surrounded by empty cans of Red Bull, just to stay up.  And it wasn’t like Gou, Rei, and Nagisa had missed even one of his races since he left Japan. 

 _You guys are the difference._   The ‘attachments’ Sugiyama shunned in the name of focus and ambition were the only reason Rin could stand here, pulled back from the edge.  He didn’t feel sympathy for the guy; nor did he entertain false feelings of superiority.  He was just…grateful.  Everything in his life until now was based around doing, achieving, succeeding…  He didn’t rely on luck—it was all hard work and effort.  _But_.  Rin unzipped his warmup jacket, peeling it off and stuffing it into the provided bin, followed by his warmup pants.  If Haru was right—if the people he cared about, who cared about him in return…if he’d done nothing to _earn_ their regard and affection…  Then it wasn’t just Haru who would still love him if he failed…and his next disappointment or setback wouldn’t be the end.

At the whistle, Rin approached the block.  He smoothed a wrinkle from his swim cap and settled his goggles over his eyes.  At the long pulse, he climbed up—  Instead of snapping the strap of his goggles, he lifted his left wrist to his cheek.  He wasn’t wearing the bracelet now, but there was a faint tan line where it usually sat against his skin.  _Haru.  We’re 9800 kilometers apart and you’re still showing me things I’ve never seen before._   With a warm glow spreading through his chest, Rin bent down, grasping the block.

“ _Take your marks.”_

He breathed the way he practiced, just like Haru in Barcelona—

At the buzzer, Rin dove, going into streamline and entering the water fingertips first.  The cool water enveloped him, the quiet beneath the surface of the pool reflecting the sudden calm in his soul.  Quick dolphin kicks propelled him forward and he broke through into long pulls of free, keeping his head down…

His lungs were _on fire_ by the end, begging for reprieve, but when he hit the five-meter mark, he knew he could make it, thinking of Haru while Coach Maekawa’s ‘encouragement’ from practice echoed in his head.  Rin thrust his hand towards the wall, slapping the timing plate and popping up—

He drew one rapid breath after the next, draping his arms over the lane line as the burn in his muscles gradually eased.  There was loud cheering and rapid Italian over the speakers…  Rin’s eyes widened when he heard his name.  He twisted in the water, glancing up at the board—

_1 – Rin MATSUOKA – Japan – 21.55 CR_

Well, shit.  His time was .04s under Haru’s national record from Barcelona.  He was so focused on not breathing he hadn’t even _thought_ about the clock.  The British swimmer in lane four had the silver and the Italian swimmer next to him in lane five took bronze.  Rin shook hands with both of them before slipping slowly over the lines towards the edge of the pool.  He grinned as he hoisted himself out of the pool, knowing he’d just given Haru a reason to chase him.  _I’ll give you another one on Sunday, Haru, after the 100m free._

Rin barely had time to dry off and get dressed before he was ushered down to the turn side of the pool to receive his medal for the 100m fly.  He stood on the center step of the podium, flanked by swimmers from Hungary, as the official laid the gold medal around his neck.  It was a weird, hollow feeling—getting first place because Sugiyama had tanked.  Yeah, Rin won, but he hadn’t _beaten_ the guy.

With the 1500m free final happening prior to the award ceremonies for the fifty, Rin hit the 25m warm up pool to cool down.  He circle-swam with Sada and several others, working oxygen back into his muscles.

“Matsuoka, nice work,” she said, toweling off as he got out of the pool.

“Thanks.  You too.”

They headed down to the podium together, the women getting their medals first.  Sada waved for the camera, holding her silver medal high.

Rin took the top step of the podium when announced, receiving his gold medal, podium bouquet, and a second certificate for breaking a course record.  He held the medal for the camera, planning on giving his lover some saucy look like, _Chase this, Haru._   But his eyes filled with liquid as the flashes went off and he clutched the warm medal in his fingers, overwhelmed with gratitude and love.

 _This one’s for you, Haru.  For the way you believe in me; for every time you say I’m more than this._ Little-by-little, he was starting to believe it, too.

He grinned and didn’t bother fighting the thin trails of tears that ran down his face.

-x-

Rin and Sada joined the rest of their teammates after the podium.  With the last medals given to the swimmers from the 1500m free final, the day’s events were over.  Spectators and athletes were filing out of the stadium towards the parking lot.  With three golds and two silvers between them, the representatives of Team Japan should’ve been in a mood of festive celebration, but Rin felt it immediately—the shadow hanging over the five of them.  Even Momo was subdued and quiet.  He was sitting on the floor, butterfly style, with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his shorts.  Otani had wide eyes and a blank look on her young face.  She was sitting on a bench, still and stiff. 

Kawamura was the only one of the three who looked functional.  “Congratulations, you two,” he said.

Rin drew a breath.  “Thanks.  Where’s…?”

“Coach Maekawa and him left a half-hour ago.  Coach Fujino’s in with the Meet Director.”  Kawamura nodded towards the corridor.  “We’re supposed to wait.”

“You think it’s bad?” Sada asked.

Kawamura shrugged.  “A guy throwing a fit at a meet?  It happens.  At best it gets glossed over.  At worst—”

“…He could get cut from the team?” Otani asked, her voice tight and high.

“It’s all about appearances anyway,” Sada said, brushing damp strands of black hair from her forehead.  “You’d think, at a minimum, the sponsors would fine him, if not JASF and the JOC, too.”

“Well, he had enough sense to clear the pool deck before his meltdown.  I doubt the cameras caught it.”  Kawamura leaned back against the wall, his hands in his pockets.

“I guess there’s no sense in banning him from the rest of the competition, unless it’s for show,” Sada said.  “Maybe they’ll DQ him.”

“After the fact?  The guy didn’t break the rules.”

Rin tuned out the rest of the speculation.  What was the point?  A sour feeling churned in his gut as he sat down on the bench next to Otani, near where Momo was sitting on the floor.  The only reason he hadn’t gotten in trouble in high school was because no one but Nitori saw his outburst.  Even though he’d apologized after, he still felt like a dick for going off on the kid like that.  Nitori didn’t know he was pressing all of Rin’s buttons with his earnest attempts to help.

Sugiyama’s sole race in this competition was the 100m fly.  The guy swam the 200m free back at the Japan Open, but hadn’t in Canet and apparently decided not to here, either.  Banning a swimmer from subsequent races was a usual punishment.  But, in this case…

 _Fuck, they wouldn’t ban the rest of us, right?_   For one team member’s indiscretion?  Even though it was true the remaining races didn’t matter from a Rio perspective, it would suck to be internationally disgraced for one guy’s screw up.  _It can’t possibly be that._ He didn’t even voice the question.

Rin grabbed his gear bag from underneath the bench, reaching into the outer pocket for his phone.  His fingers brushed soft, woven leather…  Rin pulled out the bracelet, using his teeth and right hand to tie it into place.  Somehow, just having the familiar weight on his wrist helped.  He was looking forward to going back to the dorm and hugging the stuffed dolphin, as silly as that seemed.

“Rin-senpai?”  Momo’s voice was small.  The gold medal still hung at his neck, but the kid seemed deflated. 

Rin reached over, ruffling Momo’s hair affectionately.  “It’ll be OK, Momo.”

Momo brightened like a sad puppy that recovered the instant he was comforted.  If the kid had a tail, it would’ve been thumping rhythmically against the tiled floor.  “Is there a message from Nii-chan?”

“Seriously, I’ll help you connect to wifi—”

Rin stopped when Otani shot to her feet, her attention directed at the corridor.  Coach Fujino was headed over.  Rin got up, tugging Momo with him.

“I’m sorry to keep you all waiting,” Fujino said.  “Sada-san, Matsuoka-kun, congratulations.”

They dipped their heads in acknowledgement. 

The man smiled tiredly, showing his years in the creases around his eyes and mouth.  “It’s been a long day, Olympians.  What do you say we head back?”

-x-

They gathered in a meeting room at the training center, the building adjacent to the dining hall.  The sun was setting across the soccer fields beyond the window in fiery hues of orange and red.  It was just Coach Fujino and the five of them, standing inside the doorway of the small classroom. 

“There isn’t much I can say now, but I’ll try to answer any questions as to how the situation pertains to the five of you, individually,” Coach Fujino said.  “Obviously, Sugiyama-kun’s behavior was inappropriate.  You are aware that we, JASF, the JOC, as well as your sponsors, expect the highest level of professionalism from all of our athletes.  That is in uniform and out of uniform.”  Fujino paused, his dislike for the topic obvious on his face.  “As word of what happened gets out, you may be contacted by the press.  Please do not reply to any inquiries by phone or email and any inquiries in person—please direct them to myself or Coach Maekawa or the sponsor reps onsite.  Likewise, I request that you refrain from discussions or speculation with those who are offsite.  Official communication will be distributed to the whole team when appropriate.”  He sighed and Rin heard the fatigue in that sound.  “Please do what you can to rest well tonight and be prepared for tomorrow and Sunday.  We continue to have high expectations for each of you in this competition and we are looking for you to shine.”  Fujino rested his hands at his sides.  “Questions?  With the caveat that I cannot share details about Sugiyama-kun...”

No one spoke up.

Fujino waited for a moment more, then nodded.  “That’s it for tonight, Olympians.  If you need to talk about this privately, Coach Maekawa and I are available.”  He opened the door, holding it for them.

-x-

Dinner was quiet and brief.  Afterward, back in their room, Rin helped Momo set up his phone.  The kid was on Skype with his brother immediately; it was lunchtime in Flagstaff.

Rin took his phone outside.  He had a slew of messages congratulating him on both of his victories…and a few of those closest to him commented on the way he froze on the pool deck after the 100m fly.  Rin cringed, imagining how people would speculate if he’d scratched the 50m free.  They’d think something was really wrong with him.

 _[Rei-chan, do you think the_ Foro Italico _is haunted?  Maybe Rin-chan saw a ghost.]_

_[Nagisa-kun, there is no scientific evidence for the existence of poltergeists.  Furthermore, we do not even know if Rin-chan-san suffers from phasmophobia.]_

_[Mako-chan has phasa-whatever.  But then, Mako-chan is scared of most everything.]_

_Seriously, did the two of you forget that this is a group chat?  Or are you voice-to-texting in the same room again?_

Sousuke wrote him as well.  _[Rin, I’d ask if you were OK, but you obviously sorted it out or you wouldn’t have pulled it off in the 50.  Congrats on going breathless.  And you didn’t think you were that good.  I’m gonna kick your ass for that one when you get home.]_  

Haru’s text was brief.  _[Call me when you can.]_

The sky was rapidly darkening to indigo, the temperature starting to drop.  Rin stayed next to the building, sitting on the concrete steps that led to the front door in the glow of the exterior lamps flanking the entryway.  He switched over to Skype on his phone, making a video call.

Haru answered on the fifth ring.  _“Hey.”_   He was brushing black hair out of his eyes, standing just inside the entrance of a building.  Out the windows behind him, thin trees were bending in the wind.

“Hey.”  Rin’s heart calmed as he looked into the blue of Haru’s eyes.  He pressed his lips.  “I can’t—”

_“I know.  I just wanted to see your face, so I could make sure you were OK.”_

“Haru…”  Rin fought the sudden welling of tears.  _No, I’m not fucking OK.  You’re not here._   When he considered how much _worse_ everything could’ve gone—

_“Rin, don’t.”_

“Huh?”

Haru’s face was tight.  _“You know I want to be there.”_

Rin exhaled roughly.  “Yeah.  I know.”  He rubbed a hand over his eyes.  “Sorry.  I’m not trying to make you feel shitty too.  I’m just…tired.”  He was.  Physical fatigue aside, the emotional ups and downs were weighing on him.

Haru glanced away, as if checking something.  _“I’ve got time for a nap.  How long do you need to get ready for bed?”_

Rin’s cheeks warmed, though the idea was desperately appealing.  “Haru, I’ve got Momo—”

_“Won’t he be asleep by now?”_

_Good point_.  “I’ll call you back in ten?”

_“OK.”_

-x-

The kid was already passed out when Rin got back to the room, sleeping on top of the covers in his sea otter pajamas with the stuffed otter tucked in the crook of his arm.  Rin laid a blanket over him; Momo didn’t stir.

He got ready for bed and turned out the lights.  After setting up his tablet, Rin slipped between the sheets, curling up on his right side with the dolphin plush in his arms.  He double-checked his alarm before he logged on and called…

The video connected, Haru lit by the glow of his laptop screen in his darkened dorm room with the curtains drawn across the window behind him.  They were facing each other, Haru holding the stuffed shark close to his chest.  He laid his right hand against the sheets close to the screen, the shark and dolphin on his bracelet catching the light.  His gaze was warm with affection.  _“You looked really good out there, Rin.  In the fifty.”_

Rin’s eyes filled with liquid as he clutched the dolphin tightly.  “I did that for you, you know.”

 _“Yeah.”_   Haru’s eyes moistened.  _“I know.”_ He spread his fingertips against the screen, lowering his voice to a solemn whisper.  _“I love you.”_

 _Haru_.  Rin gave up trying to hold himself together as emotions flooded him and a tear trailed across the bridge of his nose.  “I love you, too,” he whispered, barely able to get any sound out.  …And it was one of those times when being broken was OK.

Haru stayed with him until he fell asleep.

* * *

Saturday, June 25th, 2016

* * *

_“The race is the two hundred meter fly.”  Rin stretched his cap over his hair, glancing aside.  “Don’t let me win, Dad.”  He was wearing his favorite black and red suit, the one that made him super-fast._

_“Ha.  I may be out of shape, but I used to hold all the records in the area, you know.”  Rin’s dad smiled, securing his swim cap.  He wore black leg skins with streaks of gray, white, and red.  “Two hundred, huh?  You’re not gonna lose track of the laps, right?”_

_They were standing on adjacent blocks at the local swim club’s 25m pool.  Rin snorted.  “I can count just fine.  Come on, we’re leaving on the top.”  They snapped the straps of their goggles in unison, grinning at each other, and bent forward to grasp the platforms.  Rin watched the second hand on the clock swing towards twelve.  “Ready…  Go!”_

Rin started awake at the buzzer, but it was only his alarm going off.  As he sat up, the blankets pooled at his waist, the stuffed dolphin landing in his lap.  It took a second for his heart to calm down, the adrenaline of the race coursing through him even though it was just a dream.  He reached over and picked up his vibrating phone, finally silencing the alarm.

“Yippee!  Time to wake up!”  Momo bounded out of bed in a blur of flying blankets and laundry.  He grabbed his toiletry case—which was a bright red lobster with a zipper down the spine—and skipped out the door without bothering to close it behind him.  It was the normal morning routine.

Rin rolled his eyes as he got out of bed, slipping a sweatshirt on over Haru’s dolphin T-shirt and his sleep pants.  He crossed to the window, opening the curtains.  The sun was up, gilding the soccer field and trees in gold against vibrant green. 

If he closed his eyes, he could almost _feel_ the water—the waves that rippled over him from his dad’s strokes in the adjacent lane.  He could see his dad’s smile, hear the way their laughter mixed when they ended the race in a tie... 

Rin sat down on the edge of the bed, facing the window, and picked up his phone.  He checked the time at home before he called.  As the phone rang, he grabbed the dolphin plush, running his hand along its fuzzy snout and forehead.

The call connected on the third ring.  _“Rin-honey, is everything OK?”_   His mom’s voice was worried.

“Yeah.  Everything’s fine.” 

 _“Because I was just over at the Mikoshiba’s, watching the recording, and there was one part where you froze up…”_   _And you never call_ —she didn’t say the last part, but he knew she was thinking it.

“I was just startled by something.  But it’s OK.  I’m fine.”  He paused.  “You saw me win the fifty free after that, right?”

_“Yes!  I was so proud!  But isn’t it dangerous?  You know, not breathing?”_

Rin smiled faintly.  “Mom, I trained for it.  Olympic swimmers do it all the time—those who can, I mean.”

 _“Well, I know that.  But swimmers also break their fingers when they hit the wall and tear their rotator-cuffs and sprain their MCL’s…  So don’t tell me I can’t worry about you_ not _doing something as necessary as breathing.”_

_Well, if you wouldn’t mind telling Coach Maekawa to stop yelling at me for doing it…_

His mother sighed over the line.  _“But that’s not why you called.  What’s going on?  I’m sure you miss Haruka…”_

Rin’s face smoothed.  “Yeah, I do.  But, um.”  He closed his eyes briefly, summoning his courage.  “I wanted to ask you something.”

_“Well, I gave you the safe sex talk when you were twelve, but if you need to hear it again—”_

“Mom, no!”  His face heated.  “Not that.  Just…”  Rin gripped the phone.  “Did you ever…come to the pool and watch Dad and I swim together?”

There was a long, silent pause…

When his mom spoke again, her voice was soft.  _“Yeah.  A few times.”_

“Are there…any pictures?”

His mother inhaled and Rin hated bringing up something painful, but…  _I think I might be ready.  I think I might need to see them._

 _“There…  Yeah, there should be.  Somewhere.  I—”_   His mom trailed off, her words strained.  _“I’d…I’d have to look.”_

“It doesn’t have to be now.  It can wait until after Rio.  Or when I’m home for New Year’s.”  Rin swallowed around the warm lump forming in his throat.  “I just…  If we still have them, I’d like to see.”

 _“...Sure, honey.”_   She sniffed, her voice wavering.  _“I’ll see what I can find.”_

“Thanks.”  He hugged the dolphin to his chest, barely holding it together as he listened to his mother fight tears on the other side of the phone.  “Uh, sorry to just—”

 _“No, no, it’s OK.”_   Rin could picture her waving a hand rapidly as she gathered herself.  _“You probably have to start getting ready, right?”_

“Yeah.”

_“Good luck today, Rin.”_

“Thanks.  I’ll text you later.”

_“Sounds good, honey.”_

“…Mom?”  Rin lifted his gaze to the window, to the sunlit fields outside. 

_“Yeah?”_

He pressed his lips, just managing a whisper.  “I love you.”  _I probably haven’t told you in almost ten years, but…_

She drew a startled breath…and then she was crying.  _“Rin…I love you, too.  I’m, uh…  I’m gonna go now, OK?  Let’s…let’s talk soon.  Bye, honey.”_

“Bye, Mom.”  He dried his eyes with the back of his wrist as he hung up the phone.  It hurt…but it was a good kind of pain—the kind that felt like healing and progress.  Rin clutched the dolphin close, resting his chin on top and missing Haru.

-x-

It was only the five of them, curbside, when it was time to head to the _Foro Italico_.  Rin tucked his hands into the pockets of his warmup jacket, looking back towards the building’s entrance and the exterior walkways.  Several other teams were gathered nearby, waiting for the same shuttles. 

“They didn’t say they’d be late,” Otani murmured, worrying her lower lip with her teeth and clutching the strap of her gear bag.

“Did they mention anything to you, Matsuoka-kun?” Sada asked.

Rin shook his head.  “No, nothing.”

She shrugged and went back to looking at things on her phone.

He wasn’t sure why she was asking him.

Momo was standing between Rin and Sada, looking up at the woman while gripping the straps of his backpack.  “Sada-san?”

_Oh great, you can talk to her now?_

“Yeah, Squeaker?” she asked, glancing aside at the kid.

Rin cocked a brow.

Momo lit up, grinning like the sun.  “Hee.  Do you like stag beetles, Sada-san?”

Sada pocketed her phone, smiling fondly.  “Sure.  I used to hunt them all the time when I was a kid, with my dad and little brother.”

“Me too!  With my dad.  Nii-chan doesn’t like them and Mika-nee-chan got mad at me when one got loose and ended up in her hair.”

The kid continued chattering, Rin secretly glad to not be the target of yet another stag beetle exposition.  He’d never been fond of bugs—and after living in Australia where every insect was trying to kill you, he was even less of a fan—but his dad had taken him beetle hunting once for a class project in elementary school.  Sousuke and his father came too and Gou tagged along.  While he and Sousuke tried to one up each other and find the biggest beetle, Gou chased fireflies…  The memory brought a pang with it, but it wasn’t as hard to stomach, this time.

Instead, it was just another reminder of how much of his life he’d blocked out after his father’s death.  For Haru to say, _“I want you to smile again, like you used to...”_   _You didn’t even know me before my father died._ The pain was already resident in his heart when they met.  But swimming with Haru…all of those sleepovers and baths and playdates…  _You brought color back into my world.  Did you know, Haru?  That you were the reason I could smile like that, back then?_

The shuttles turned into the training center and pulled up to the curb, right on time.

Rin propped a hand on his hip, exhaling as he looked back over his shoulder.  “We’ll have to—”

The main door to the conference center opened, the building adjacent to the dining hall.  Assistant Coach Maekawa came out in her warmup pants and a T-shirt with a messenger bag slung over her shoulder.  Her hair was loose around her shoulders and her eyes were shadowed by fatigue.

“It’s just us today,” she said, joining them as everyone was getting in line to board the buses.

No one asked any questions.

They were towards the end of the line, grabbing whichever seats were available.  Sada sat with Momo, apparently not yet tired of the boy’s running monologue.  Otani quietly took the seat next to Kawamura, with her gear bag on her lap and her hands folded on top.  She seemed comfortable in the guy’s presence and Rin wondered if it had to do with how calmly Kawamura handled things yesterday.  A couple of rows back, Rin sat down next to his coach.

Maekawa had her eyes closed as she sat by the window, the bridge of her nose pinched between two fingers as if she had a headache.  Rin remained silent, not about to disturb her.

The idling bus pulled away from the curb smoothly, heading for the gate and the main road.

Maekawa sighed, sitting back and opening her eyes.  “Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hai.”  He met her gaze cautiously, not staring, but he noted the redness of her eyes.  

“Forgive me if I rely on you today, more so than usual.”  She folded her arms over her messenger bag, looking out the window.  “I have to be available for statements.  If you could back me up, making sure everyone’s where they need to be, when they need to be there.”

“…Hai,” Rin said.  

Maekawa glanced at him, one brow arched.  “Reservations, Matsuoka-kun?”

He cleared his throat, dipping his head.  “Respectfully, Coach, shouldn’t it be Kawamura-kun?”  Even though they were all first-time Olympians, Kawamura was the oldest with the most years of training.  _And didn’t you hear how I flipped out yesterday?_

Maekawa’s expression softened.  “We have our reasons for asking you.  But if you’d prefer not to…”

Rin inhaled, hearing the ‘we’ clearly.  He bowed his head deeper the second time.  “I will do my best, Maekawa-sensei.”

She was smiling faintly when he straightened.

-x-

It was another day of blue skies and warm sunshine.  While Maekawa stopped in to talk to the Meet Director, Rin kept track of his teammates through warm ups in the main pool.  He cross-checked the heat sheets, making sure everyone knew their call times, heats, and lanes.  The job was familiar and comfortable, even nostalgic—making him miss the days when he was captain at Samezuka, swimming with Momo, Nitori, and Sousuke.  Although, keeping tabs on _four_ Olympians was a breeze compared to _forty_ high-schoolers. 

As activity picked up towards the start of the morning session, Rin noted the extra attention he and his teammates received from the officials and other athletes in second glances and murmured conversations.  People kept their distance, though, as if they were some sort of spectacle—the Japanese team who had taken the podium in nearly half of yesterday’s events…while everyone was looking for the one guy who lost his cool after a bad race.  It wasn’t the kind of recognition Rin wanted.

The first events of the day were butterfly—the women’s 100m, to be followed by the men’s 200m.  Rin left Sada to shepherd Momo and Otani while he and Kawamura headed to the waiting area for check-in.  The women’s heats got underway promptly at 9:30am.  After inspection, Rin zipped up his warmups and took a seat.  He pressed his headphones into his ears, ignoring Kawamura as he cranked up the volume.  The guy was in the warm up pool with his arms draped over the line, chatting with a girl who had just finished a backstroke set.  Kawamura had never seemed disappointed he didn’t make the time in the 100m fly to add the event in Rio.  He seemed perfectly happy with just the one event and his ‘networking’ opportunities.

Rin closed his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets, letting the music drown out his thoughts.  At least, he tried to—but behind his eyelids was the swim club down the street from Sano Elementary…and the way his dad hugged him over the lane line after their race. 

_“Daddd…”  Rin made a face and squirmed free.  “I’m too old for hugs.”_

_Rin’s father rolled his eyes.  “Alright, Son.  High-five me, then.”_

_Rin’s hand was small against his father’s; his dad’s skin was rough with callouses from working the lines on the fishing boat.  Rin grinned.  “Wanna go again?”_

_“Hmm.  Maybe.”_

_“Maybe?”_

_His dad’s smile was sly.  “Two hundred meter free.  And if I win, I get to hug you.”_

_“But, Dad, you_ always _win the two hundred free.”_

_“Yeah.”  His eyes sparkled.  “You’re not gonna take the bet, Rin?”_

_It wasn’t fair—his dad knew he couldn’t resist a challenge.  But there were other people around, including a few of Rin’s teammates from Sano’s swim club.  His face heated.  “If it’s at home, it’s OK,” he muttered._

_His father grinned.  “Deal.”_

_They climbed out of the pool and got back up on the blocks…_

Rin drew a long, deep breath to keep his emotions in check.  If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up trying to cry and swim at the same time…he was pretty sure it wouldn’t work.  Instead, he took out his phone, letting the music continue to play as he flicked through his photos.  There were podium pics from Tatsumi, Haru’s ‘modeling’ pic from Norway…but he stopped on the series of aquarium photos Haru had taken in Barcelona.  Rin was in various stages of losing it in each picture with his arms locked around Haru’s torso and his cheek pressed against Haru’s hair.  Haru’s eyes were like the Mediterranean—clear blue and warm.  He looked relaxed and happy; he was even smiling for real with color topping his cheekbones.  There wasn’t any trace of the cool, stoic expression that Haru usually wore.  _Not that I love you any less when you look like that._

Rin exhaled slowly.  It was after midnight in Flagstaff.  Their call this morning had been brief—Haru was dead tired after a hard afternoon and evening of practice at altitude and Rin was too emotionally raw to talk much.  The more he remembered, the more he was building a list of things he needed to talk with Haru about.  But not like this—not with 9800 kilometers and nine time zones between them.  He needed more than a stuffed dolphin in his arms and a warm look through a screen.  He needed Haru’s arms, Haru’s scent, that quiet voice against his ear, and those steady fingers brushing away his tears. 

But that conversation would have to wait for twenty-eight days—four whole weeks.  At the signal from the clerk of course, Rin got up, shutting off his music and stripping out of his warmups so he could get in line with the rest of the competitors for the first of three heats in the men’s 200m fly.  He pressed his goggles firmly into place and secured his swim cap over the strap.  There was nothing to do now but get through this.  Competing, training hard, staying busy…that was the only way to make the days go faster.

-x-

Coach Maekawa had them on the shuttle as soon as their last race of the morning—Otani’s 50m breaststroke—was finished.  While reporters crowded the main walkways to and from the parking lot, Maekawa and the sponsor reps took them out through a service exit with help from meet officials.  The reps stayed behind, intercepting the few reporters who caught on while Rin and the others boarded the bus.  He watched through the tinted glass windows as they pulled away from the curb, the suited sponsor reps making statements behind dark sunglasses.

After lunch, Rin spent the afternoon napping.  He woke up when his phone buzzed with a text, the dolphin plush squished beneath him.

Grunting, Rin rolled over, flailing until he grabbed the device off his nightstand.  He blinked blearily at the characters on the screen.

_[How were the heats this morning?]_

Rin checked the time on the bedside clock.  _[Haru, what the fuck are you doing up at 5am?]_

_[I don’t know.  I’m up.]_

Rin sighed.  He sat up, the blankets falling into his lap.  The room was quiet and had that empty feeling like he was alone…  Momo wasn’t in the other bed.  Well, the kid probably just went to the bathroom or something.  Rin stretched and swung his legs out of bed, wincing as his bare feet hit the cold, tiled floor.  The phone vibrated in his hand with a Skype call as he crossed to the window to open the curtains.

 _“You look rumpled,”_ Haru said.  He was sitting on a sofa near a window in Rin’s shark T-shirt, rubbing his eyes.  The shark plush was tucked loosely into the crook of his arm.  There was no artificial lighting; Haru was lit by the dawn, the planes of his body gilded in amber, gold, and rosy hues.

Rin stopped halfway to the window, letting out a slow breath as he took in the image of his lover on the screen. 

_“Rin?”_

He pulled himself together with a shake, warmth gathering in his cheeks.  “You look like sunrise in Barcelona.”

Haru smiled with his eyes.  _“I’m wearing too many clothes.”_

That was the fucking truth.  Rin grinned and continued to the window, drawing the curtains aside with a snap.  Bright daylight flooded the room.

_“I woke you up, huh?”_

“It’s fine.  I’d rather talk to you than sleep.”  Rin combed one hand through his hair.  “I’d just wake up anyway when Momo got back, so—”  He stopped when movement out the window caught his eye—a flash of neon orange down by the trees lining the soccer field. 

Rin cocked a brow.  _Momo, what are you doing?_   The kid was crouched near the trunk of one of the larger trees, pointing at something.  Sada was with him, leaning up against the same tree with her arms folded.  She was nodding occasionally like she was listening.

_“…Something wrong?”_

“Nah.”  Rin switched to the back camera.  “Momo found a new victim for his stag beetle hunting.  I must not’ve been enthusiastic enough.”

_“Is that Sada with him?”_

“Yeah.”  It was the wrong time of day, but maybe they were just comparing notes on hunting grounds.

_“I thought you said he couldn’t talk around her.”_

“Dunno.  He just figured it out this morning.”

_“Hm.  …Rin, switch me back.”_

Rin tapped the appropriate control.  “That better?”

 _“Much.”_   Haru’s eyes softened with pleasure.  _“I like the way you look fresh out of bed.”_

 _Likewise_.  Rin pressed his lips.

A teasing gleam lit in Haru’s gaze.  _“…He’s occupied, huh?”_

Rin leveled a mild glare at his lover.  “Haru—”

Haru smiled.  _“I’m kidding.  I just wanted to see you make that face.”_

Rin rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help smiling.  He leaned against the window, matching the affection in Haru’s eyes with his own.

_“So?  Tell me about this morning.”_

“Mm, about that captain-mode thing…  Today, Coach Maekawa asked—”

-x-

Team Japan gathered six more medals in the evening session—Rin adding a bronze in the 200m fly and a gold and course record in the 200m free to his awards from the previous night.  Kawamura had gold and the course record in the 200m fly, but at least he wasn’t a showboating ass about winning.  As soon as their races and award ceremonies were over, Coach Maekawa had them out the side passageway again and through a phalanx of officials to board the shuttle.  The crowds of reporters and spectators were thicker than during the morning heats, though it was hard to tell whether the attention was still about the drama surrounding their absent teammate or if they just wanted interviews with the medalists and record holders.  Maekawa and the sponsor reps didn’t seem to be taking chances either way.  With how exhausted Coach Maekawa looked by the end of the evening, Rin was glad for the opportunity to make a timely escape, for her sake as much as for the rest of them.

Coach Fujino was waiting for them when they got off the shuttle at the training center.  He was wearing a Team Japan polo shirt and matching shorts.  Dark circles shadowed his eyes, though they weren’t as deep as Maekawa’s.  “I’ll take over from here, Maekawa-san.”

Maekawa bowed from the waist, her voice heavy with fatigue and relief.  “Thank you, Coach Fujino.”  She headed for the dorms while the rest of them gathered inside.

Rin felt a sense of déjà vu, standing in the small classroom with his four teammates while Coach Fujino briefed them on the latest.

“Sugiyama-kun will continue his training in Japan for now,” Fujino said.  “We were able to contact his coach in Fukuoka and get all the arrangements settled very quickly, so Sugiyama-kun will be able to start in immediately upon his arrival at home.  I want to reassure all of you that we, along with the JASF and JOC, remain committed to supporting our athletes even in difficult circumstances such as these.  There will be more official communication later this week, but I’m allowed to let you know in the meantime, since he’s an important teammate to you five.”  Fujino smiled gently.  “Tomorrow will be more of the same, I’m afraid, but come Monday you’ll be able to relax and on Tuesday you leave for Spain, so expect all of this to be water under the bridge in short order.”  Fujino paused, glancing at him.  “Matsuoka.”

“Hai.”  Rin straightened. 

“I appreciate you supporting Maekawa-san today.  I’ll be there tomorrow, but we may still need your assistance at times if you’re up for it.”

He bowed low.  “Hai, Coach Fujino.”  The significance of the request wasn’t lost on him—Fujino asking him in front of the others, including Kawamura who didn’t have a single race tomorrow and was the logical choice to provide help.

“Good.  Questions, Olympians?”

When there were none, Fujino dismissed them to dinner and headed off.

Rin trailed the others down the hallway, shoving his hands into his pockets.  The setting sun cast orange rays across the walkway, lighting off the red in their uniforms.  Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “Kawamura-kun?”

The guy slowed his steps and glanced back, reading Rin’s face with a flick of hazel eyes.  “You guys go on,” he said.  “We’ll catch up.”

Rin came to a stop as the others continued.  He pressed his lips.

Kawamura gave him an easy look.  “What’s up?”

“I want you to know I didn’t request to…help out.”

The guy brushed a hand through his light brown hair.  “I didn’t figure you had.”

Rin exhaled tightly.  “Just…  Sorry if it feels like I’m stepping on your toes or something.”

Kawamura shrugged.  “Coach’s choice, Matsuoka.  No hard feelings.  I’m happy to let you have it.”

The tension in his shoulders eased slightly.  “…Thanks.”

Kawamura lifted a brow, smiling faintly.  “That all?”

A self-conscious blush gathered in Rin’s cheeks.  “Yeah.”

The guy’s gold medal flashed in the dying sunlight as he turned.  “Good.  Because I could eat my way out of a box right now.”

Rin relaxed.  “Me too.” 

They went to catch up with their teammates…

* * *

Monday, June 27th, 2016

* * *

“Be back before curfew and do _not_ get into too much trouble.”  Coach Maekawa gave them all a stern look.  “Remember, your gold medals are not ‘get out of jail free’ cards.  I don’t need any more reasons to stay up all night on endless conference calls with the JOC and JASF.  Got it?”  She was in sweats with her hair gathered messily into a clip.  Her face was scrubbed free of makeup, the dark circles beneath her eyes clearly visible in the daylight that poured in through the lobby windows. 

Rin and his four teammates bowed, answering in unison.  “Hai, Maekawa-sensei.”

Maekawa sighed, her face softening.  “That said…  If you need help, call me.  I _will_ come get you, no questions asked.”  She smiled.  “Go have fun.  You’ve earned it.”

Momo was the first one out the door.  “Yippee!!”  He bounded out into sunshine in a yellow T-shirt and white shorts, with a small backpack and bright orange sneakers. 

Kawamura, in a polo shirt and shorts, held the door for the rest of them.

“Thanks,” Rin murmured, heading out last.  He donned a pair of shades against the morning sun, slipping his hands into the pockets of his dark gray pants.  He wore a burgundy T-shirt, the day mild enough that he didn’t bother with a sweatshirt.

Otani and Sada were a contrast in light and dark, Otani in a white sundress with pale blue flowers and cap sleeves while Sada wore cropped black pants and a racerback tank, with a black windbreaker tied around her hips.  Otani’s eyes were alive with excitement; she was already clutching a guidebook from the tiny leather backpack she carried.

Sada flicked some hair from her forehead as she donned oversized shades.  “Well, are we ready?”  She looked at Rin.

“Seems like it,” he said, glancing back as Kawamura joined them.

“Yay!”  Momo took off down the street—

Rin lunged, grabbing the kid’s arm.  “Other way, dummy.”

“Hee.”  Momo grinned as Rin dragged him along.

They took the train to Flaminio station, walking through a small market before crossing the _Via Luisa Di Savoia_ and heading south into the _Piazza del Popolo._  

The immense, elliptical plaza had an obelisk piercing the sky in its center and fountains on its eastern and western arcs.  Stunning architecture surrounded the plaza on all sides—churches and statues—with the hill on the east flanked by tall stone pines.  It was midmorning and there were tons of tourists out already, along with musicians playing in the open air.  A pleasant breeze was blowing and many people were hanging out on the steps at the base of the obelisk or relaxing by the fountains.

The size of the place was enough to make Rin feel small.  Rei would’ve been rendered mute by the beauty of the plaza, undoubtedly, while Haru…  Rin smiled at the thought—Haru would either be climbing into the _Fontana del Nettuno_ or posing for ridiculous selfies with the fountain’s dolphin statues.

Momo went running through the open space with his arms stretched out like an airplane while Otani thumbed through her guidebook.

“It’s the Egyptian obelisk of Ramesses II,” she said, “originally brought to Rome as ordered by Emperor Augustus in 10 BC and moved here in 1589.  The lions were added later in 1823.  The twin churches were built in the 17th century, the _Santa Maria dei Miracoli_ and the _Santa Maria in Montesanto._ The third church is the _Santa Maria del Popolo_.”  She paused, walking slowly as she continued skimming the material.  “It says the plaza was used for fairs and games and—”  Otani stopped abruptly, her face going pale.

Kawamura leaned over her shoulder, peering at the book in her hands.  “Public executions.”

“All history books are bloody,” Sada said as she scanned the area.  “Who wants to visit the Colosseum?”

“Oh, me, me!” Momo said, thrusting his hand into the air.

Otani grimaced.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, siding with Otani on this one.

After a requisite number of selfies around the obelisk, they walked through the _Museo Leonardo da Vinci_ , right off the square, then climbed the hill to the east to the _Terrazza del Pincio_ , taking photos of the plaza below. 

Rin joined Otani at the stone rail overlooking the plaza; the girl was clutching the guidebook to her chest.  “Otani-san?”

“Hm?”  She glanced up at him with doe-eyes.

Rin smiled faintly, thinking absently of his sister, though—personality-wise—the two couldn’t be more different.  “Where did you want to go next?”

Otani lowered her gaze, chewing her lower lip briefly.  “I wanted to visit Vatican City, but if everyone wants to see the Colosseum instead…”

“There’s no reason we can’t split up and meet later,” Kawamura said, leaning back against the stone rail.  “You should be able to see what you want to see.”

“As long as no one goes alone.”  Rin pressed his lips, considering.  “You got that map, Otani-san?”

“Oh, sure.”  She dug in her backpack for a second, pulling out and unfolding a map of the city.

Sada folded her arms.  “We can take Squeaker to the Colosseum,” she said, nodding towards Kawamura.  “If that works, Matsuoka.” 

“Yay!  Sightseeing with Sada-nee-chan!”  Momo leapt onto Sada’s back, grinning.

Sada grunted, catching the kid and looping her arms behind his knees.  “It’s a good thing my little brother weighs more than you.  You get about five minutes of this.  And no stairs.”

“Hee.”  Momo draped his arms limply around her neck.

 _I wonder if Mikoshiba will kill me for this.._.  But ever since the first stag beetle conversation, the two had been pretty inseparable.  _Whatever, it’s only a couple of hours._   “We’ll need a meeting spot and time…”

They settled on the Trevi Fountain at 2pm since the place was relatively in the middle and parted with a wave after double-checking everyone’s phone numbers. 

Rin and Otani headed down the stairs towards the plaza. 

“Thanks,” she said, looking up at him with obvious relief in her face, her cheeks slightly flushed.

“No worries,” Rin said.  “It’s only a few kilometers, right?  You’re good with walking?”

Otani consulted her phone.  “Yeah, it’s faster to walk than try to get a bus or something.  Plus, I want to get _some_ kind of exercise today, even though it’s our day off.”

 _Things I’ve never heard Gou say._   Rin smiled.  “Sounds good to me.”

She glanced at him curiously.

“My sister would’ve opted for the bus.”

Otani’s eyes brightened.  “Oh,” she said, smiling. 

-x-

It took a _while_ , navigating the queues to get into St. Peter’s Basilica and then up to the dome, but the view from the top was worth every minute of standing in line in the cramped stairways.  Vatican City and Rome spread to the horizon in all directions, the wind sifting through Rin’s hair as he stood at the rail.  Puffy clouds dotted the sky, backlit by the sun.  Gazing out over buildings and architecture hundreds and thousands of years old interspersed with clusters of stone pines, it was easy to get a sense of why Rome was called the Eternal City.  The sight was breathtaking, Rin tucking his sunglasses into the neck of his T-shirt with a lump in his throat and an ache in his chest. 

_This is one of those sights I wanted to see with you._

“Matsuoka-kun?”  Otani held out her phone.  “Do you mind?”

“Sure.”  Rin moved away from the rail, taking her phone and maneuvering through the crowds to get a good shot with the Vatican gardens in the background.  He snapped a couple for her, handing the device back.  “See if those are OK.”  _I’m not a pro, like…_

Otani smiled as she flicked through the photos.  “These are great.  Thanks!”  She glanced up at him.  “You want one, too?”

“Ah.”  Rin fished his phone from his pocket and handed it over, trading spots with her against the rail.

Otani’s face lit up as she looked at his phone—probably due to the photo on his lock screen—and she backed up, aiming the device.

Rin exhaled and made a peace sign with his left hand.

“…You’re not gonna smile?”

Usually he could force it, but…  He didn’t want to right now.  Rin shook his head.  _This is what I got.  Haru-face_. 

She took the picture and gave him his phone back.  “It’s still good,” she said.

Rin’s cheeks heated.  “Thanks.”

They trekked back downstairs, leaving the Basilica through the grotto and getting into the epic queue for the Vatican Museums and the Sistine Chapel.  Otani was content to pass the time reading snippets from her guidebook and Rin appreciated the opportunity to listen without having to add much to the conversation.  They coexisted well; she didn’t seem to have the need to press him or worry about whether or not he was having a good time.  Maybe because she knew what it was like, missing a loved one who was thousands of kilometers away. 

Rin and Otani spent more than an hour looking at artwork in the various galleries before a staircase took them into the chapel.  Every part of their visit to the Vatican had been crowded and therefore loud with conversations—though nothing he would’ve characterized as unruly or a ruckus—but stepping into the Sistine Chapel there was a sudden quiet, a hush that he felt as well as heard.  Rin craned his neck like everyone else, looking up at Michelangelo’s famous frescos covering the ceiling.  He didn’t consider himself religious.  He didn’t pray at shrines for good grades or fast times.  But, from that stormy July day, a decade ago—when his fingers went numb from gripping the phone, while the words he couldn’t forget, couldn’t unhear echoed in his head, and the rain poured beyond the window—he knew what it felt like to long for something _more_ , something eternal.  The paintings, depicting a religion he was somewhat familiar with from his years in Australia, didn’t bring him any sudden heaven-opening, trumpet-heralded revelation of God.  But that quiet moment was like a tiny, whispered _maybe_ to the longing in his heart.

He followed Otani out into the sunlight in St. Peter’s Square, lifting his brows when he noticed the redness of her eyes.

She wiped a hand across her face quickly and sniffed.  “I…I think I’m just hungry.”

Rin stuffed his hands into his pockets.  “Let’s get some lunch, then.”

Otani smiled.

-x-

They got to the Trevi Fountain just prior to 2pm and Rin sighed, looking at the sculptures and all that water.  _Haru, if you were here…_   The fact that it wasn’t deep wouldn’t have stopped Haru from stripping down to his jammers and climbing in, even if all he did was sit there, looking smug while the wind ran through his hair.

 _Damnit.  I miss you so fucking much._   If it wasn’t only 5am in Flagstaff, Rin would’ve been trying to find wifi just to watch Haru’s eyes go wide with water-envy. 

He sat down on the stone edge of the fountain and took a selfie with his hand in the water and his best sassy look on his face.  Haru would _hate_ it.  The thought made Rin grin and Otani gave him a look of mild concern.

She went back to checking her phone.  “I wonder if they’re here yet—”

“Rin-senpai!”  Momo bounced over to them, his chaperones in tow.  The kid looked even more energetic than this morning, which could only mean—  “I had ice cream for lunch!”

Rin cocked a brow as he got up, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

“It wasn’t _just_ ice cream,” Sada said. 

“Just…mostly,” Kawamura said, chuckling.

The fact that the two of them seemed no worse for wear was miraculous in its own right.  They didn’t even look tired.

“Rin-senpai, I took lots of pictures!  Wanna see?  Huh?”

“Sure, Momo.  Show me later.”

“Hee.”  The kid grinned.

Sada adjusted her sunglasses, glancing around.  “What’s next?”

“I got to see what I wanted,” Otani said, guidebook in hand.  “I mean, there’s lots of other places still, but…”

“Getting out of the sun for a while wouldn’t be a bad idea,” Kawamura said.

Sada hummed her agreement.

The three of them looked at Rin.

“Hm?”

“You’ve been quiet this whole time, Matsuoka,” Kawamura said.

Otani hugged her book to her chest.  “Is there somewhere you wanted to go?”

Rin pressed his lips.  _Want_ wasn’t really the right word, but…  He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes as his face heated.  “I found this, uh, karaoke place…”

-x-

The establishment was only a kilometer away, tucked away behind a nondescript entrance down a side street.  Rin knew from his research not to expect Japanese-style karaoke, but it was still jarring to walk through the door and have his ears assaulted by loud, off-key singing.  The place was packed, the interior dimly lit with chandeliers and spotlights, with a lounge-ish feel and a glossy, black bar backed by an array of bottles.  There wasn’t much of a stage, just a guy with a wireless microphone and a handful of screens on the walls with everyone joining in on the singing.  With drinks flowing freely and plates of food being passed around, it felt a little like the pub on _Hongo Dori_ back home.  But the conversations were mostly in Italian, the current song was English, and even Momo was old enough to drink here.  Most people were on their feet, mingling and dancing.

Momo seemed mesmerized by the sounds and activity, his eyes wide as he looked around.  Otani was back to being doe-eyed and shy, hanging close to Sada. 

“I’ll grab the first round,” Kawamura said, heading straight for the bar.  “Beers?”

“Please,” Sada said, tucking her shades into the neck of her tank top.  “I’ll find us a table.”

“Anyone else?”

“Me!”  Momo shot his hand into the sky.

“Nope,” Rin said, pushing the kid’s hand back down.  “You can have juice or something.”

“Awwww.”  Momo pouted.

“Otani-san?”

The girl blushed.  “Uh, just, water for now?”

“Same here,” Rin said, taking off his sunglasses.

Kawamura nodded, disappearing into the crowd.

Sada managed to snag them a handful of chairs and most of a table in the main seating area, on the edge of the crowd.

Kawamura joined them with three bottles and two glasses.  He made a point of showing Rin the label on the third bottle before he handed it to Momo—a non-alcoholic _Moretti Zero_.

Rin sighed his resignation.

Momo’s eyes bugged.  The kid grinned and had his phone out immediately, taking selfies with the bottle. 

“Make sure you get the label, Momo, if you send that to your brother,” Rin said.  Mikoshiba would murder him otherwise.  There was no way Momo was gonna figure out the difference.

The kid finally got tired of taking photos and sampled the beverage.  He coughed, grimacing.  “This is what beer tastes like?”

Sada chuckled.  “If you wanted a soft drink, Squeaker, you should’ve said so.”

“Uhm…”  Otani sipped from her glass of water.  “I’ve been wondering for a couple of days now, but…why do you call him that?”

Sada glanced at her.  “Squeaker?”

“Yeah.”

Momo’s eyes brightened, him and Sada talking over each other.  “Because it’s the sound sea otters make—”

“—Because that was the only noise I heard him make for days after I joined the team.”

Rin snorted with laughter, unable to help himself.

Momo just looked confused.

Otani pressed her fingers over her lips, but that didn’t stop her smile.

 _…You’re stalling, Matsuoka.  Damnit._   Rin cleared his throat and excused himself, heading for the bar.  He waited until he could get close enough to signal the bartender, running over the Italian in his head.  When he was finally able to squeeze in—

“ _Mi scusi.  Uh…lista dei titoli per favore._ ”  He hoped that was right or at least good enough.

The man nodded and handed him a tablet.  Rin was relieved to be able to switch the app to English and search for what he needed.  He made his selection and added his name, passing the tablet back across the bar afterwards.  The bartender checked his entry and said something in Italian that Rin didn’t understand. 

At his blank look, the man held up four fingers.  “ _Il quarto_.”

Ah.  Rin nodded, his cheeks heating.  “ _Grazie_.”  _I can’t believe I’m doing this._

He went back to the table and dropped to sit, drinking from his water glass to try to put out the fire in his face.

“You put your name in?” Kawamura asked.

“Yeah…”

Sada quirked a brow.  “Did you lose a bet or something?”

“Nothing that bad.”  _I’m doing this voluntarily,_ which was almost worse…  But Haru’s birthday was on Thursday and he wouldn’t have another chance.  Rin took out his phone, laying it on the table’s surface.  “Otani-san.  When it’s my turn, would you mind?”

Her face lit up.  “Is this for…?”

“Yeah.”

She beamed at him.  “Sure!”

Rin worried the bracelet on his wrist, the fifteen-minute wait feeling like forever…but when they called his name it was still too soon. 

He got up and pushed his phone across the table.

There was a small platform near the bar, in view of the screens, that he’d seen a couple of people use as a makeshift stage.  Rin clutched the microphone and stood on it, though he didn’t need the words.  _Fuck_.  _I’m really doing this._   On the edge of the room, Otani was standing on her chair with her back to the wall, giving him a thumb’s up signal as she held his phone.  His cheeks were burning, but—

When he pictured that first night at karaoke on _Hongo Dori_ , going best of three against Takara with a kiss from Haru being the prize to win, he felt a surge of adrenaline.  He remembered the way Haru’s eyes glittered with confidence—

_You got this, Rin?_

_Of course I’ve fucking got this._

—and the nerves vanished.  Rin smiled, knowing he could own this just as hard.  He nodded to the bartender, indicating he was ready—

As the first notes of the song’s intro began to play, he lifted the microphone, looking into the camera Otani held.  “Haru…Happy Birthday.” 

There was a shrill catcall from Sada at Otani’s side, a few others joining in though Rin doubted anyone besides his teammates would understand the Japanese.  He drew a hand through his hair with flourish and pulled the microphone close, singing the first line of the song—

People cheered and belted out the lyrics with him, especially during each chorus.  He couldn’t help getting into it.  Energy pulsed through the room in time with the beat and doing this _for Haru_ was as much a rush as setting a new national record in the 100m free last night.  He almost forgot where he was and who was there…until the last note left his lips and the whole bar erupted into deafening applause—

Rin relinquished the microphone, breathing hard and wiping the sweat from his brow.  He made his way through the crowd back to his table and his teammates…

Rin sat down as the heat in his face caught up with him.  Kawamura and Sada were congratulating him while Momo sang the chorus in bad English like a broken record.

Otani was almost squealing.  “That was so…so _great_ , Matsuoka-kun!”

Rin pocketed his phone and drained his water glass.  “Thanks,” he said.  He rubbed his face with one hand.  There was a 100% chance of someone posting that on the internet.  He could only hope no one would recognize him, especially out of uniform.  _Fuck!  I should’ve used a fake name!_  

He didn’t regret it.  Haru was worth every second and every YouTube view or retweet that might happen.  It was just the flames in his cheeks that might be permanent.  Rin cleared his throat and pushed back from the table, taking his empty glass with him.  “Be right back.”  A dip in the Trevi Fountain was sounding pretty good right now.

He headed back to the crowded bar, slipping into an empty spot and trying to flag down the bartender.  A trio of girls were sharing the platform and one mic, singing a loud, upbeat song in Italian.

After a minute or two, Rin finally managed to get the guy’s attention.  He pushed his empty glass across the glossy black surface, almost having to shout.  “ _Acqua per favore._ ”

The bartender nodded, filling the glass from a pitcher and handing it back.

“ _Grazie._ ”  Rin paused there, taking a long drink before he even thought about heading to the table again.  People moved to and from the counter next to him, but he didn’t pay any attention.

“ _You were good up there._ ”

The voice came from his left; it took him a second to realize the woman was talking to him.  _Damnit_.  Her English had an accent, though he couldn’t tell from where.

“ _Uh, thanks,_ ” he said.  He turned with his glass, intent on making this quick and escaping—

A pair of blue eyes framed in dark lashes stopped him dead in his tracks—  Her eyes were clear like water, nearly the same shade as Haru’s.  Rin gripped his glass, blinking as he remembered how to breathe.  The woman had dark brown hair skimming her bare shoulders, a heart-shaped face, and petal-pink lips.  Nothing else reminded him of Haru, just that one unexpected glimpse of her eyes.

“ _Sorry,”_ she said, smiling.  _“I didn’t mean to startle you_.”

“ _Ah, no.  It’s fine_.”  Rin cleared his throat.  “ _Excuse me.  I was just_ —”

“ _You can sing, you can swim…  Just what else are you good at?_ ”

Rin froze at the sudden invasion of warm fingers on his arm.  

“ _That was you, right?  Gold medal in last night’s hundred meter free_.”

She didn’t look like a swimmer.  She lacked the bulk and the skin she was showing off—which was a lot in her low-cut, strapless top—was all supple curves.  Whether she was staff or spectator didn’t really matter.

Rin peeled her fingers off.  “ _Sorry.  I’m not available_.”  He moved away—

With a musical laugh, she slipped into his escape path.  “ _I gathered_ that _.  Most of you guys are spoken for_.”  Her eyes glittered at him.  “ _But having someone waiting for you at home doesn’t help when you’re here_.”  She stepped forward into his space, her voice dripping with honey...  “ _You’re away…busy training.  It’s no fun, right?  Playing solo_.”

Rin’s back hit the bar.  He looked at her, astonished.  _You’re suggesting that I would…cheat—_ he even hated the word— _on my lover, just like that—_   He straightened, leveling his gaze so she would get the fucking point.  “ _I’m not interested.  Get out of my way_.”

The woman didn’t budge.  “ _It’s not like she’d find out, you know.  Let loose a little_.”  Her eyes ran down to his feet and back up to his face with obvious appreciation.  “ _Just once doesn’t hurt_.”

 _What the fuck is wrong with you?_   Rin exhaled hard, his head whirling.  Shit, what was he supposed to do?  The fact that he wasn’t in uniform wouldn’t stop trouble from getting back to the team.  _But how the fuck am I supposed to get through to her if she won’t fucking listen?!_

Fingers tapped the woman’s shoulder.

Rin’s eyes widened—

“ _Excuse me_ ,” Kawamura said.

The woman rolled her eyes, brushing hair back from her shoulder as she half-turned.  “ _I’m a little busy here, if you don’t mind_.”

Rin fell silent, expecting some smooth line to fall from the guy’s lips next.  Not that he was complaining about the help—

But Kawamura’s voice was like iron.  “ _I heard a clear ‘no.’  You need to leave_.”  Standing next to the woman, Kawamura towered over her like a wall and his _don’t-fuck-with-me_ face was as good as any Sousuke could make.

The woman sized Kawamura up with a flick of her eyes...and relented with a glare.  She spun away, disappearing into the crowd.

Rin watched her leave, stunned.

“…You OK?”

“…Ah.”  Rin gathered himself with a shake and nodded, wiping a clammy palm against his pantleg.  “Thanks.”

“First time dealing with someone like that?”

His face heated.  “…Yeah.”

“A word of advice…”

Rin glanced up, meeting Kawamura’s gaze.

The guy’s expression was back to his unruffled normal, his hazel eyes calm.  “Stay close to the rest of us.  We can watch each other’s backs that way.  It’ll probably be worse in Rio.”

“Yeah.  I will.”  _Fuck.  I’ve misjudged you.  No-strings-attached isn’t my thing, but at least you play by the rules._

Kawamura turned, nodding his head in the direction of their table.  “Come on.”

Rin followed him back, still clutching the water glass in tight fingers.  “How did you…?”

“I know what to look for.  People like that get on my nerves.”

Rin pressed his lips.  “Thanks.”

Kawamura glanced at him, one brow arched.  “You said that.”

_What I meant was…  Sorry I’ve been a jerk to you.  You didn’t have to save my ass back there._

The guy smiled faintly, like some of it was bleeding through.  “Have you talked to him lately?”

“Hm?”

“Yamazaki.”

 _Oh_.  “Just…here and there.”

“He’d like it—if you told him more about how things were going.  With your training and camps, I mean.”

Rin was taken aback.  “He said that?”

“Right.”  The guy chuckled.  “It’s just obvious, if you know him well enough.  He misses you.”

Rin quieted, an uncomfortable feeling stirring inside him. 

Kawamura turned, facing him.  “You still want to be friends, don’t you?”

 _Yeah, but_ …

“It’s OK, you know.  He’s working through it.”  The guy shrugged.  “The truth is, his dream was always more important to him than the two of you starting something.  In case he didn’t tell you.”

_Sousuke…_

They rejoined the others.

“There you are.”  Sada was on her feet, looking for them.  “I was gonna send out a search party.”

“Sorry,” Rin said, rubbing the back of his neck.

She rolled her shoulders, her arms folded across her chest.  “Don’t worry about it.  Squeaker here needs food, though.”

Momo had his head down on the table.  He was grinning and making little noises as he clutched his _Moretti Zero_ bottle.  “Rin-senpaiiii, I’m drunk.  Hehee…”

 _Tch.  On half a bottle of non-alcoholic beer?_ Rin flicked his eyes towards the ceiling.  “Yeah, guess we’d better feed you.  What do you wanna eat, Momo?”

Momo snapped straight and shot his hand into the air, waving vigorously.  “Pizza!”

“Italian pizza’s a little different from Japanese pizza, Momo-kun,” Otani said.

“Pizza!”

Rin sighed.  “That OK with everyone?”

-x-

They found a place with good reviews a few blocks away and ate their fill.  Afterwards, they strolled along the narrow streets with the evening crowds, heading in the general direction of the train station.  Momo—who’d forgotten about pretending to be drunk—was wide-eyed in awe as they passed colorful storefronts and glowing signs set against carved stone walls.

“Rin-senpai, look!”  Momo ran up to the window of a shop selling neon flip-flop sandals.

Rin had given up feigning interest.  Every time he tried, Momo darted off to the next store.

“Rin-senpai, look at this!”  Momo was across the street now.

Rin exhaled and kept going.  They walked by a _Farmacia_ with a green cross on the sign.

“Actually, could we swing in here?  I need to replenish,” Kawamura said.

Sada snorted.  “Just because someone’s roommate-free for one more night…”

Otani flushed pink and Rin fought the urge to grimace.  Just because he decided Kawamura wasn’t a _total_ dick didn’t mean he wanted details of the guy’s sex life.

Momo dashed back as they filed into the store.  “Like deodorant?  Rin-senpai, I need to buy deodorant!”

The interior was brightly lit, making it easy to peruse the shelves of perfectly arranged products.  There were cosmetics, lotions, travel supplies, contact lenses…  Kawamura and Sada disappeared through a doorway into a separate section. 

Rin stayed in the main area with Momo and Otani, who were browsing and gathering a few things.  His gaze was drawn to the other section, even though there was no way in hell he was going over there with any of his teammates around.  But…  Rin rubbed the back of his neck, looking away as the tips of his ears burned.  At some point, he should pick up some…er…supplies…

Kawamura and Sada came back after a few minutes, carrying a few small boxes of products, each. 

“By the time we’re in São Paulo,” Sada was saying, “we’re only two weeks away from Rio.  Come on—even you must have some sense of discipline.  Olympics are only once every four years.”

Kawamura chuckled.  “I’ll behave in São Paulo.  I just mean, it’ll be good for meeting people.  For later—after my race in Rio.”

Rin’s face heated.  _Damnit, you two._   _Not so fucking loud_. 

They passed Rin for the front counter to pay for their purchases.  He averted his eyes, ostensibly to supervise the others, but with Otani helping Momo decipher Italian on two different packages of deodorant, it wasn’t like his attention was necessary.

“Wouldn’t you be backup for the medley if they decide Sugiyama’s out?”

“Like Matsuoka needs backup.  Even if that’s the case, medley finals are on Saturday and we don’t leave until after the open water events.  There’s plenty of time to hang out.”

A hot flush circled Rin’s throat.  _Fuck!  Can you stop talking about it?_   He folded his arms.  Yeah, the conversation was going over Momo’s head and Otani was pretending not to listen, but Rin felt like his face was going to catch fire at any moment.

Finally, everyone had paid for their items and they headed back outside into the semi-cooler evening.  The wind was picking up and a few clouds were rolling in.  The influx of humidity left Rin’s skin feeling tacky; he longed for a shower to rinse off.  It was approaching 8pm and the shops were starting to close as they headed towards the train station.

Rin walked with his hands in his pockets.  It wasn’t like he’d given São Paulo much thought, aside from the fact that he was desperate to see Haru.  Otherwise, he’d been purposely trying _not_ to think about sex (or tan lines or the way Haru’s skin tasted like chlorine)…  _We’d still be counting kisses if not for Barcelona._

 _“Don’t fuck things up in Rio because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”_   Sousuke was being an ass when he said that, but he still had a point.

 _Damnit_.  Rin pushed a hand through his hair and tugged roughly on a few ends.  There was no doubt in his mind that they could be disciplined about the whole thing and get through it.  But three weeks of cold showers was going to suck.

-x-

They got back to the training center with a half-hour to spare on curfew.  Rin texted Coach Maekawa to check-in and hit the showers, washing off the sweat and dust from running around the city all day.  He dressed in a tank top and his sleep pants, scrubbing his hair with a towel as he went back to the room he shared with Momo. 

Momo was asleep on top of the covers with his phone still in his hand, surrounded by comic books, dirty laundry, swim caps, goggles…

 _We’re leaving in the morning, dummy.  Why aren’t you packed?_   Rin’s things were mostly ready to go.  He just hadn’t tried stuffing the dolphin plush into his suitcase yet.

Slipping off his sandals, Rin laid back on his bed and grabbed his phone.  He found his Trevi Fountain picture and emailed it to Haru, just because he could.  Revenge for the tan line picture, though he didn’t dare say that in the mail. 

He closed his eyes as he waited, feeling like he could fall asleep at any moment.  Tomorrow, he and his teammates were headed to Sierra Nevada, Spain.  They’d train there for three and a half weeks of thin air and taper hell before flying to São Paulo.  Meanwhile, Haru would be in France.  This time, Rin did the math in advance.  They’d be no less than half a day of travel apart, with connections making flying almost as long as going by car.  There wouldn’t be any way to finagle another weekend like Barcelona.

The phone buzzed in his hand.  Rin answered the call with a tap, looking up into the screen as the video connected…

Haru tipped his aviator shades down to glance at Rin over top.  _“Really?  You’re playing with other water now, Rin?”_   He was lying in a shaded patch of grass with his Team Japan warmup jacket unzipped and no shirt beneath.  The broad expanse of skin that filled Rin’s screen was bronzed like his medal from Saturday’s 200m fly.  He could only imagine what Haru’s tan line looked like now…

“Fuck, you win,” Rin whispered, his breath trailing out over his teeth. 

Haru’s eyes softened with amusement and pleasure.  He slipped the sunglasses off, propping them on his forehead.  _“Did you have a good day off?  You didn’t just mope around…”_

Rin pouted.  “I mean, I did a little.  But…”  He went over the day in his head, all the various sights and experiences…  When he considered the whole of it…  “Yeah.”  Rin smiled.  “It was fun.”

Haru’s face lit up.  Then his eyes reddened and the screen shook a little as he sniffed and looked away, blinking.

“Haru…”  Warmth gathered in Rin’s throat.  “It makes you that happy?  Me saying that?”

 _“Yeah.”_   Haru wiped a hand across his eyes.  _“It does.”_

 _Haru, fuck._   Rin was so over-the-top, _completely_ in love and he just kept falling again and again—

_“Oi, Matsuoka!  What’re you giving my little brother to drink?”_

Rin sat up, running a hand over his face to gather himself as Mikoshiba snatched the phone away from Haru.  He quirked a brow, meeting his former captain’s glare.  “Calm down and look at the pic again, Mikoshiba.  It was a fake beer.  He just thought he was getting drunk.”

Mikoshiba glanced off-screen.  _“…Oh.”_

“Momo only made it through half the bottle.  At dinner he asked for a cola instead.”

That earned him another sharp look from golden eyes.  _“Did you give him that?”_

“Of course not.  We gave him juice with club soda and called it a cocktail.  He was thrilled.”

Mikoshiba blinked.  _“I’m not sure if I should be pissed at you or call you a genius.”_

 _“Mikoshiba.”_ The irritation in Haru’s voice was obvious.

 _“Oh yeah, sorry.  Haha.”_   The guy grinned.  _“You can have him back.”_

The phone traded hands again and Rin was back to looking at Haru, who was sitting up.  Haru’s eyes were slightly miffed as he glanced away, as if making sure Mikoshiba left.  A moment later, his gaze eased as he returned his attention to the screen.

“You’re alone now?” Rin asked.

_“Yeah.”_

“Sakamoto’s not lurking nearby?”

Haru shook his head.  _“She’s off with Ozawa-senpai.  …Momo?”_

“He’s here—asleep.  The kid had a busy day.”

 _“Mm.”_   Haru rolled back into the grass.  Leaves rustled, the brush of wind making the tree branches sway and leaving patterns of shadow and sunlight dancing across Haru’s skin.  So much for controlling his thoughts.  Rin wanted so fucking bad to play his lips across Haru’s chest and nuzzle that sensitive juncture where Haru’s neck met his shoulder.  He knew exactly what sound Haru would make when he did it and he wanted to feel Haru’s quickening pulse beneath his fingertips…

Rin shifted onto his stomach, looking down into the phone.  “Na, Haru…”

Haru brushed a hand through his hair, the shark and dolphin on his bracelet catching the light briefly.  He met Rin’s gaze attentively.  _“Hm?”_

“São Paulo.  We never talked about the rule.”

 _“Oh.”_   Haru dropped his hand.  _“I was counting it the same as Rio.  …That’s OK, right?  I don’t want anything getting in our way, so we can swim our best together.”_

Rin relaxed.  “Yeah.”  He smiled.  “Thanks, Haru.”

_“You still want to room together?  Because, if it would be easier, we could—”_

“Oh, fuck no.” _I’ll take three cold showers a day if I have to, but if I can’t at least hug you and sleep with you literally I’m gonna fucking lose my mind._

Haru smiled with his eyes.  _“Just checking, Rin.”_

* * *

Tuesday, June 28th, 2016

* * *

Momo’s side of the room was still a disaster when Rin finished zipping up his suitcase.  How long was the kid going to take in the fricking bathroom?  They still had about forty-five minutes before they were due downstairs, but they were gonna need most of that time to wrestle all of Momo’s crap back into his bag.  Seriously, why did the kid need to bring all the comic books and clothes and books about stag beetles?  Not to mention the couple of swimsuit magazines that Rin _knew_ were in there somewhere.  _Does your brother know you have those?_   Rin’s money was on ‘no.’

In contrast, Rin’s bed was made, his dolphin plush was tucked into his gear bag, and he was ready to go in a tank top, sweatshirt, and comfortable pants for the airplane.  Fortunately, it wasn’t going to be a long day of traveling.  They were on a direct flight midday from Rome to Málaga, Spain, then it was a two-hour drive from there to Granada and on to the _Centro de Alto Rendimiento_ in Sierra Nevada.

They were leaving Coach Fujino behind.  Their head coach was traveling from Rome to Vichy, France, to meet Haru and their teammates who were participating in the French Open on Saturday and Sunday.  The envy was something Rin could taste, though there was no way in hell he could even ask this time.  Not after Coach Fujino had accommodated so much already for his trip to Barcelona.

Rin glanced at the door yet again.  _Damnit, Momo!_   He wasn’t about to start packing the kid’s stuff without at least a shovel—

His phone buzzed in his pocket with a text.  Rin fished it out.

_[Rin, my birthday isn’t until Thursday…]_

_Fuck_.  Rin cringed, flipping over to Skype—

Haru smiled at him through the phone, his blue eyes shimmering playfully.  He was in a dark room with colorful lights sweeping over him in rhythmic pulses, catching on his T-shirt and unzipped sweatshirt.  The music was loud and whoever was singing, it wasn’t Takara because the English was better than decent.  _“I didn’t think you’d actually do that for me, Rin.”_

Rin’s face heated.  _Arg, damnit._ “How…?”

_“Takara found it.”_

_Of course Sakamoto fucking found it._   “ _Tch_.”

Haru was leaning against a wall on the edge of the noise.  Rin guessed the room was a lounge in one of the dorms that they’d converted into a karaoke bar for the evening. 

“Don’t you have curfew?”

Haru shrugged.  _“Technically.  It’ll wrap up pretty soon.”_  

_Not soon enough, apparently._

_“You know…if coaching doesn’t work out, you could always have a stage career.”_

“Shut up, Haru.”

Haru’s eyes danced with amusement.  _“I’m serious.  The way you had the whole place into it.  You should read what people are saying.”_

Oh like hell he was going anywhere near the internet…  “I didn’t do it for them.  If I had Sakamoto’s personal karaoke machine, I wouldn’t have.”

 _“I know.”_   Haru smiled.  _“I like my present, Rin.”_

Rin made a show of sighing, but he couldn’t ignore the warmth blossoming inside him.  Just hearing Haru say that made it all worth it.

A bit of humming preceded the door opening.  Momo bounced into the room and flopped down onto the mess that was his bed.  At least the kid was dressed and not still in his pajamas.

Haru lifted a brow.

“Gimme a sec.”

As Rin rolled his suitcase towards the door, Momo looked up at him with a sheepish grin.  “Is it time to pack, Rin-senpai?”

This was where he was supposed to fly off the handle at the kid, but for once, Rin held back.  “Momo, you’ve got thirty minutes.  Anything that’s not packed by then isn’t going to Spain.  Easy, right?”

Momo brightened.  “Hehe.  OK.”  He started singing quietly to himself and stacking up comic books.

Rin took his suitcase and gear bag and headed out the door. 

_“Very patient of you, Rin.”_

He spared a glance at the pleased look on Haru’s face before carrying his suitcase down the stairs.  “I probably yell at him too much.  If I’m gonna coach his age group someday…”  He went out through the first-floor lobby into the sunlit morning outside.  None of his other teammates were there yet.  Rin left his luggage by the door and wandered into the shade of the trees lining the soccer field.

_“It’s a relief to be leaving?”_

“…A little bit.”  He lifted a brow, meeting his lover’s gaze.  “You can tell?”

Haru nodded.  _“I know this one was hard for you.”_

Rin hadn’t said anything about it—his memories or asking his mom about the photos.  _But you still…just know._   He smiled faintly even though it hurt.  “There’s a lot I want to tell you.  Not like this, though.”

 _“I know.”_   Haru’s eyes softened, radiant with love.  _“We’ll have time.  Between relay training and taper…”_

“Yeah...”  Rin leaned against the trunk of one of the trees, pushing his free hand into his pocket.  

_“It’s not enough?”_

He let out a long, ragged breath.  “I just…  It’s gonna be a long-haul thing.  That’s what I’m starting to realize.”

 _“It’s OK, Rin.”_   Haru held his gaze.  _“I’m not going anywhere.”_

“Haru…”  Rin inhaled as warmth gathered in his throat.

There was a smattering of applause and shrill whistles.  A different song was starting; Haru glanced off-screen.

“Who was singing the last one?”

 _“Ozawa-senpai.  She’s pretty good.”_   Shifting patterns of blue and pink flashed across Haru’s skin, hair, and clothes.  _“Takara’s up, but she’s already crying, so we’ll see how this goes.”_

Rin cocked a brow.  “Has she been drinking?”

Haru shook his head.  _“Only Ozawa-senpai and Captain Ikehara are old enough, here.  And they haven’t been.”_

“Hm.”

The intro to the song was familiar—one Rin heard often his last year in Sydney.  Sure enough—he knew it, though, when Takara came in singing he couldn’t stop himself from cringing.

_“You know this song, Rin?”_

“Yeah.  Sakamoto’s butchering it, huh?”  He sighed.  “Troye Sivan is the artist.  He’s Australian—our age.”

Haru nodded, his head tilted slightly as he listened. 

_—And my hopes, they are high; I must keep them small_

_Though I try to resist, I still want it all—_

At the chorus, Haru suddenly perked up.  _“Pool?”_

Rin chuckled.  “You know English, Haru.”

 _“Not the way Takara’s singing it.”_   Haru frowned.  _“It’s too loud.  You tell me.”_   He switched to voice, the screen blanking in Rin’s hand.

Rin lifted the phone to his ear.  “It’s better?”

_“Yeah.”_

Rin closed his eyes, the breeze sifting through his hair.  He waited for the chorus and translated each line one at a time as the ballad played in the background.

_I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes…_

A sudden lump formed in Rin’s throat.  The words were just lyrics to a popular song… _used to be_.  But they weren’t now—not anymore when he was whispering them in Haru’s ear…murmuring about pools and airplanes and their dream set to a melody—

_I see a little house on a hill and children’s names…_

The images came to him with startling clarity—Haru’s place on the side of the hill in Iwatobi, up the staircase by the shrine.  Inside, decorating the fridge, were pictures done in bright crayon, each signed with large characters of careful katakana.  There were two names, the same scrawled in Rin’s handwriting on the calendar near the sink—

_I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray—_

Rin’s voice broke as he saw it—  A few toys and homework papers hadn’t gotten put away before the kids went to bed.  But it didn’t matter, not when he and Haru were cuddled together at the _kotatsu_ , their legs warm beneath the quilt while steam rose from fresh cups of tea.  They traded soft kisses in the darkened, peaceful house, the candlelight flickering off the gold rings on their fingers and the array of medals that hung on the wall—

Rin’s eyes filled with tears.  Their future in ten years—maybe twenty—could look like that.

On the other end of the line, Haru drew an uneven breath.  _“…That’s really what it says?”_  

Rin pressed his lips, trying to hold it together.  “Yeah.”  He gripped the phone, wishing his arms were locked around Haru’s shoulders and his face was buried in Haru’s hair.

 _“…What’s Tanqueray?”_   The words came out raw and with effort. 

“…Not sure,” Rin said.  “Some kind of alcohol I guess.”

There was a long, weighted pause…followed by footsteps and the music receding…then the sound was muffled behind a door.

“ _Rin?_ ” 

He opened his eyes, meeting Haru’s gaze in the screen.

Haru was in a hallway where it was dark and quiet.  Behind him were tall windows filled with indigo skies and the first brilliant pinpricks of stars.  His face was lit by the glow of the phone with pink along his cheekbones and eyes that trembled with emotion. 

“… _When we’re old enough_ …”  Haru’s voice was a searching whisper.  “ _Maybe_ —”

The tears spilled down Rin’s cheeks. 

“— _someday, we could…try it.  …If we both want to_.”

Haru was afraid and Rin felt it, too.  Because they weren’t talking about sharing a drink.  A dream like that was so much bigger than one Olympics or even two or three.  It was a dream for a _lifetime—_ the next closest thing to forever.

Rin wiped his eyes with shaking fingers.  “…OK,” he whispered back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The referenced song is FOOLS by Troye Sivan, from the Blue Neighbourhood Trilogy


	21. In the wake of the storm

The Flagstaff sky was gray-violet at midday, with rain sheeting off the eaves and blinding flashes of light that filled the sky from horizon to horizon.  While Mikoshiba slept through the whole thing, Haru was awake, sitting up in his lofted bed near the window with the shark plush nestled in his arms.  After nearly an hour, the storm was finally starting to recede—the length of time between the lightning and the deep rumbles of thunder growing longer and longer.

Mikoshiba was snoring softly on the second lofted bed, kitty-corner to Haru’s.  The guy slept facing the wall with the occasional murmur of unintelligible words being the only indication the storm fazed him at all.  Haru was supposed to be resting, too.  In another hour, they had to be back at the aquatic center for afternoon practice, but… 

With the lights off in the bedroom of their small dorm apartment, Haru watched the water cascading down the glass on the windowpanes.  His phone was beside him on the bed, dark.  It was nighttime in Spain.  Rin had already gone to bed after a brief trade of texts.  Even though Haru would’ve preferred to see Rin’s face, he didn’t want to Skype with the storm in the background.

The stormy nights were the ones he remembered vividly—a handful of times out of countless sleepovers when they were kids.  Another flash of lightning dazzled him, leaving spots dancing in his eyes as the memories came to him…

_It wasn’t the thunder that woke him that night, it was the sound of muffled sobs and the way Rin was shaking.  Haru winced at a bright pulse of light—visible even through the curtains.  The clap of thunder was a split-second after, rattling the windows of Haru’s bedroom.  Rin jumped at the noise, causing the mattress to jerk._

_Haru rubbed his eyes and sat up, drowsy.  It had to be the middle of the night.  “Matsuoka…”_

_But Rin didn’t react to his name.  He was sitting up in bed, the blankets pooled at his waist.  His hands were pressed over his ears and his face was a mess of tears.  The pajamas he borrowed from Haru were clinging to his skin._

_Haru’s eyes went wide, a cold sense of panic spreading through his chest.  He didn’t know what to do.  When Makoto had nightmares, he didn’t cry—he just gripped Haru’s hand until Haru’s fingers went numb, but after that, he could go back to sleep._

_But Rin…  This was the boy whose smile was like sakura trees in springtime, who loved to race, who pursued and challenged Haru until he gave in about the relay.  Rin was cocky and confident, always flinging an arm around Haru’s shoulders and grinning.  And even though Haru blushed, he didn’t push Rin away—_

_Haru’s fingers tightened on the blankets.  Seeing Rin like this—he didn’t like it.  He had to do…something…_

_“Rin?”_

_Rin didn’t hear him that time, either.  His eyes were squeezed shut and he was hunched forward.  At the next flash of lightning, he flinched—_

_Haru crawled over, taking care to keep his movements slow and deliberate so Rin wouldn’t be alarmed.  He settled in front of his friend, face-to-face, but even though their knees were touching through the blankets, Rin didn’t react._

_Drawing a breath, Haru reached out…  He gently covered Rin’s hands with his own—_

_Rin’s eyes flew open and it wasn’t just fear in that scarlet gaze.  It was pain—a deep, raw pain—and Haru remembered the shrine at Rin’s house, with a bit of fishing net and a few gold medals next to the picture of Rin’s dad._

_A lump formed in Haru’s throat.  He knew he couldn’t fix the pain.  He could only try to help Rin through the storm._

_Haru held Rin’s gaze without looking away, his thumbs wet with Rin’s tears.  “It’s OK, Rin.”  He wasn’t sure if Rin could hear him, but he tried anyway.  “It’s just water.  You don’t have to be afraid.”_

_Rin stared at him without blinking for a long moment, his breath still coming in hitches that made his lower lip tremble…but his hands gradually slackened beneath Haru’s.  When another burst of light filled the room, followed by a low roar of thunder, Rin tensed up, but he didn’t pull away.  Haru stayed where he was, the room quiet except for the sound of the rain scattering against the roof above._

_At length, Rin exhaled a shuddering breath and his shoulders started to relax.  “Haru…”_

_Haru’s cheeks heated.  He had started it—calling Rin by his first name—but it still caught him off guard when Rin reciprocated.  To everyone else, he was Haruka or Haru-chan or Nanase…  Only Makoto called him ‘Haru’ and most of the time that annoying ‘-chan’ still came with it.  But hearing Rin call him that…he liked it._

_Rin calmed by stages—his eyes first, then his breathing.  He slipped his hands out from beneath Haru’s, lowering them to the blanket in his lap.  Rin’s face was warm beneath Haru’s palms._

_The storm didn’t stop, but the thunder and lightning seemed to bother Rin less and less as the minutes ticked by.  His reddened eyes and nose were the only lingering evidence of his distress._

_Haru brushed Rin’s tears away, the droplets like tiny pearls of dew against his fingertips._

_Rin’s eyes softened.  He didn’t smile, but there was a trace of it in his gaze._

_“…Wanna sleep some more?” Haru asked._

_Immediately, Rin’s face clouded.  “I’m not sure if I can.”_

_Haru reached down for one of Rin’s hands.  Maybe—_

_Rin’s fingers tightened around his.  The way Rin’s shoulders went rigid, Haru knew it wouldn’t be enough—just holding hands._

_His heart was thudding in his chest as he leaned in, wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist._

_A blush joined the color in Rin’s face; Haru’s cheeks felt hot, too.  But Rin started to relax against him almost instantly._

_“It’s…OK?” Haru whispered._

_Rin nodded, curling his arms around Haru’s shoulders._

_Haru slowly coaxed him down to the bed, making sure Rin’s head found the pillow.  He freed one hand long enough to pull up the blanket, then settled in.  They took a minute to figure out where their arms should go, but Rin’s eyes were warm when they ended up face-to-face, lying on their sides with their arms tucked around each other._

_“Think you can?” Haru asked._

_“I’ll try,” Rin said, closing his eyes._

_…When Haru stirred next, it was morning.  Sunlight seeped around the edges of the curtains, birds were chirping outside, and he could hear his mother moving around in the kitchen downstairs._

_Rin was still asleep, which was odd.  Typically, Rin was up first.  Haru was lying on his back and Rin was using him for a pillow.  Rin’s hair was soft against Haru’s cheek and shallow breaths gently wafted across his throat.  Their arms were still tucked around each other and Rin’s leg was trapping his knees._

_Usually, Haru didn’t like it when people were clingy.  But…he’d make an exception, just this one time.  Haru closed his eyes, feeling the way Rin’s chest rose and fell as he breathed…_

_A little while later, his mom’s footsteps sounded on the stairs.  She stopped outside the door, rapping her knuckles against the wood.  “Boys?  Breakfast.  One hour until you’re supposed to be at the pool for practice.”_

_Pool.  Haru’s eyes flew open.  Right, they didn’t have school today.  He could swim all day…_

_Rin made a noise of protest, snuggling in._

_She knocked again.  “Boys, are you up?  Haruka?”_

_“Yeah, mom, we’re up,” Haru said.  “We’ll come down.”_

_Rin jerked awake at the sound of his voice, blinking at first, then his eyes went wide._

_Footsteps retreated from Haru’s door as his mom went back downstairs._

_“…Do you think she came in while we were sleeping?” Rin asked quietly, a blush staining his cheeks.  He didn’t pull away though._

_Haru shrugged beneath Rin’s arm.  “I doubt it.”  If he hadn’t called back, maybe.  “We should get up.”_

_“Oh.”  The color in Rin’s cheeks darkened, but he laughed softly.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.  If we’re late, Coach Sasabe’ll make us do extra laps.”  Rin sat up and stretched, smiling—almost smirking.  “You’d like that, though.”_

_“Nn…”  Not that he was going to admit it…  Haru sat up, rubbing his eyes._

_…After breakfast, they headed outside in their Iwatobi SC gear.  The day was bright and sunny, if cold.  The leaves on the trees were just starting to bud._

_At the top of the steps leading down from Haru’s house, Rin flung his arms wide like he was greeting the morning.  “Ah!  It’s a beautiful day.”  He glanced back at Haru, grinning.  “Come on, Nanase, we’re gonna race to the pool.”_

_Haru sighed, gripping the strap of his gear bag.  But he was relieved inside, seeing Rin back to his normal, cheery self._

_Halfway down the stairs, Makoto joined them and they set off, running…_

_At the end of swim practice, Haru lingered in the shower in his swimsuit, not wanting to leave.  If he waited long enough, everyone else would go and he could sneak back into the pool when no one was looking—_

_“Na-na-se!”  Rin was waiting for him, leaning on the half-wall of tile that surrounded the shower area.  His hair was wet and a towel was slung across his shoulders._

_Haru turned off the shower.  He flung the water from his hair with a shake of his head before heading to his locker in the last row._

_Rin followed him.  The place was nearly cleared out.  If not for Rin, he could execute his plan…_

_His towel wasn’t on the bench where he’d left it.  Haru frowned—_

_“You’re looking for this, right?”  Rin held up the missing article._

_“Nn—”_

_Rin chuckled and came over, draping the towel over his head._

_“Matsu—”_

_Damp arms circled his shoulders and in the shadow of the towel, Rin’s lips touched his._

_Haru’s eyes blew wide._

_The kiss was over almost as suddenly as it happened and Rin was hugging him, his mouth near Haru’s ear._

_“Haru, thanks,” he whispered._

_Haru’s breath caught, his heart running rapid in his chest._

_Rin pulled away in a flash, smiling and blushing as he scampered off with a wave—_

_Haru stood there, stunned.  He tasted chlorine and Rin on his lips.  In that moment, his mind and heart were full of the boy whose smile was like sakura.  Rin’s kiss was like that, too..._

Haru sank down to the bed with the stuffed shark in his arms, his breath coming out in a long, slow exhale.  The worst of the storm was fading into the distance; now there was just the sound of the rain…  The memories lingered.  A stormy night and a thank you kiss, eight years ago…  That one moment blossomed into so many others—feelings, longings that grew and changed without him realizing it…all leading up to a pair of _I love you’s_ poolside in Barcelona after a breathless fifty free.

After that first time, stormy nights got easier.  He got used to it—the way Rin would just crawl into his arms, not needing to say anything.  When morning came and Rin was back to his bright, smiling self…  That part was always special to Haru.

 _In eight years, you must’ve figured it out—how to sleep through thunderstorms._   The storms they faced now were different—disappointments, setbacks, being good but not good enough, the way people changed.  It was hard, not being there—settling for a phone call instead of offering Rin his arms…  It hurt the same way it wrenched his heart to leave Rin crying at his apartment in Tokyo, when they first separated for this trip.  There were twenty-five days left…

Haru closed his eyes, sighing.  He curled up with the shark in his arms and chased sleep.

 _I miss you, Rin_. 

* * *

Wednesday, June 29th, 2016

* * *

They left Flagstaff at 9am, driving down to Phoenix to catch the first of three flights.  It was going to be a long day of traveling to get to Vichy, France.  Haru stared out the window of the van, his messenger bag on his lap.  The nose of the stuffed shark poked out beneath the bag’s flap.  His sweatshirt was tucked into the strap, in case the plane was too cold for his T-shirt and pants.  Outside, the Arizona skies were hidden by thick clouds moving briskly with the wind.  More thunderstorms were in the forecast, but not until the evening.  They’d be on the plane to Paris, out of Salt Lake City, by then.

It was noon before Haru and his teammates were through security at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport and finally to the gate.  Haru found a less crowded area a couple of gates over and sat with his back to the wall.  It was 9pm in Granada.  Pulling his phone out, he logged on to wireless and switched over to Skype, hoping Rin hadn’t gone to bed yet…

Just seeing the green dot next to Rin’s name woke a quiet thrill in his heart.

Rin answered on the third ring.  “ _There you are_.”  The video connected and Rin was stifling a yawn as he moved through a dimly-lit room.  He sank down onto a couch within the glow of a nearby lamp and pushed a hand through mussed strands of hair.  “ _I was starting to think they wouldn’t let you through security with all the cans of mackerel you packed in your bag_.”

“Nn.”  Haru pressed his lips, miffed by the lack of _saba_ in his carry-on.  “It’s all in my checked luggage.  Where it’s safe.”

Rin blinked, his brows lifted in surprise.  “ _Really?  I didn’t think they’d actually_ …”  His face softened.  “ _Gomen.  I shouldn’t have teased you about it_.”

Haru shrugged.  “It’s OK.  I ate some for breakfast.”

Rin sighed, settling back against the cushions.  “ _Of course you did_.”

Haru held his lover’s gaze, wishing he could reach through the phone…  Instead, he curled his free arm tighter around his messenger bag and the stuffed shark in it.

Rin snorted.  “ _You’re bringing that on the plane?_ ”

“Yeah.  It helps me sleep.”

A faint blush crept into Rin’s cheeks.

“Did I wake you?”

Rin shook his head…and winced.  “ _Nah, I was just resting.  You can probably hear Momo snoring though_.”  Rin moved the phone, giving Haru a look at the twin beds on the other side of the room.  Near a window with thick red curtains, the two beds were side-by-side, covered with striped red blankets.  Momo was sleeping on the closer of the two beds—a person-sized lump with an orange tuft of hair peeking out from beneath the covers.

There wasn’t much space between the beds.  _Just like Barcelona.  It must be normal in Spain._   “How’s your head?”

“ _It fucking hurts_ ,” Rin said, scrunching his nose.  “ _But whatever.  It’ll be fine in a day or two, like last time_.”

Haru nodded.  He’d dealt with the same thing after his arrival in Flagstaff and wasn’t looking forward to experiencing it again, wherever they were training in France after the competition.  He forgot the name of the place.  “I hope you feel better in the morning, Rin.”

Rin’s eyes warmed.  “ _Yeah, me too_.”  He smiled faintly.  “ _Happy—almost—Birthday, Haru.  Since I can’t tell you later_.”

A tender feeling spread through Haru’s chest.  _Rin._

“ _It sucks you’re stuck traveling all day on your birthday.”_

“I don’t care.  We’ll finally be in the same time zone again.”

“ _Yeah.  Still like a thousand kilometers apart, though_.”

_It’s still better._

On the screen, Rin covered his mouth, yawning.

Haru smiled, savoring the drowsy look on Rin’s face.  “Go to sleep, Rin.”

“ _Yeah, OK.  Safe flights, Haru_.”

“Thanks.”  Haru lowered his voice.  “Love you.”

Rin blushed.  “ _Love you, too_.”

The video ended, his screen returning to his wallpaper.  Haru spent a moment just looking at the picture of the two of them tucked in bed together at the NTC.  The three-and-a-half weeks until he could hold Rin like that again felt like an eternity.  Haru sighed and pocketed his phone, heading back to join his teammates.

There were two TVs in the boarding area—one showing a national news channel and one showing sports.  The news anchor on the sports show was live at the pool in Omaha.  It was between the morning heats and evening finals on day four of the US Olympic trials. 

“Haruka!”  Takara waved him over.  She and Mikoshiba were clustered around her phone in the seating area where she’d managed to grab a spot near a power outlet.

Mikoshiba looked up at him with a thumbs-up sign and a grin.  “Nanase-kun, you’re famous!”

Haru blinked.  “What?”

Takara jumped up from her seat and grabbed his arm, sitting him down and pushing her phone into his hands.  “Here, I’ll restart it for you.”

“Nn…”  They both hovered over his shoulders, annoyingly close as usual.  Haru exhaled and turned his attention to the screen.

“Oh, volume.”  Takara clicked it up.

It was a Japanese sports show—one of those internet-only programs—and they were replaying an interview from an American broadcast with Japanese subtitles running along the lower half of the screen.

The guy being interviewed wore navy blue warmups, a gold medal gleaming against his chest.  He was fresh from the pool, his short, spiky hair askew and he still had a faint goggle line beneath his eyes.  Haru recognized the swimmer immediately.  Damien Andrews was an Athens, Beijing, and London legend with US and World Records in fly and free.  He was Captain Ikehara’s age; Rio would be his fourth Olympics.

“It’s from last night, after the final in the two hundred fly,” Takara said.

The playback cut into the middle of the conversation.  “ _One of your long-time rivals caused a bit of a stir this week, in Rome,_ ” the reporter said in English.

The American swimmer shook his head.  “ _I’m not commenting on any rumors.  Next question.”_

The woman smiled politely.  _“The two of you first swam together eight years ago in Beijing, is that right?  You were bitter rivals from the start, if I recall correctly.”_

Damien chuckled onscreen.  “ _Yeah, things got a little heated the way I remember.  It was a long time ago.”_   The guy shrugged.  “ _At my age, when I’m seriously considering whether or not this will be my last Olympics…keeping up old rivalries isn’t as important anymore.”_

Haru peered at the parade of tiny characters on the screen, struggling to keep up with the spoken English and the Japanese subtitles.

 _“I’ve got my future with my family to think about.  It’s not like it matters to my daughter whether her dad has five or fifty gold medals hanging on the wall.  But it’s true—old habits die hard.”_   Damien propped a hand on his hip and shrugged.  “ _I’m a competitor at heart.  I hope I get to swim with him again.  I wish him all the best with his training.”_   The guy smiled.  “ _Now, if you want to ask me about other members of the Japanese team…”_

The reporter nodded.  “ _Please!_ ”

“ _Those two newcomers have been really impressive—Rin, ah, Matsuoka and Haruka Nanase.  Am I pronouncing that right?_ ”  Damien glanced off-screen.

Takara squealed, shaking Haru’s shoulder.  “Damien Andrews knows your name!”

“ _Anyway, those two have been putting up solid performances in the free.  Really great times.  I’m looking forward to swimming with them in Rio.  Not that I’m promising them their first real heartbreak on the international stage, but…_ ” Damien grinned, “ _well, yeah, I am_.”

The reporter laughed, turning to look at the camera.  “ _If you’re just joining us, we’re talking with American swimming legend Damien Andrews…_ ”

The video switched to a Japanese studio with two sports anchors—one man, one woman—sitting on a couch and wearing fashionable clothing.  A free-standing screen was nearby, showing a still image of the US swimmer.

The woman smiled at the camera, speaking in Japanese.  “ _That was Damien Andrews-san on our very own Sugiyama-kun, Matsuoka-kun, and Nanase-kun, just last night after Andrews-san won the two hundred meter fly at the US Olympic trials._ ”

“ _As for Sugiyama-kun_ ,” the man said, facing the camera as the screen switched to a photo of Sugiyama from the competition in Canet, “ _unofficial sources affiliated with JASF say we can expect a statement from him by the end of the week regarding his behavior in Rome that resulted in several fines.  But it sounds like his spot on the national team is still secure, despite earlier speculation_.”

“ _We have people digging into the Beijing connection between Sugiyama-kun and Andrews-san,”_ the woman said, _“though other than reports of the two almost coming to blows in a bar after the swimming events were complete, we haven’t found anything just yet_.”

“ _That’s enough, isn’t it?_ ” the man said.

The woman shrugged.  “ _Well, I suppose_ …”

“ _In other news_ …”  The man returned his gaze to the camera, the screen changing to side-by-side photos of Rin and Haru, from Rome and Phoenix, respectively.  “ _Matsuoka-kun and Nanase-kun continue to make headlines—the good kind—overseas.  Matsuoka-kun’s gold medal performances in Rome over the weekend broke national records yet again in the fifty and one hundred meter freestyle—the two records he and Nanase-kun have been trading back and forth ever since the Japan Swim in April_.”

The woman smiled.  “ _You’d think these two would have a rivalry every bit as bitter as Sugiyama-kun and Andrews-san, but that’s_ clearly _not the case_ …”

Haru’s face heated as the free-standing screen went to video, showing Barcelona after his fifty-meter free.

“ _You know,”_ the man said, _“I think things are being blown out of proportion.  The two are childhood rivals.  Obviously, they’re good friends_ —”

“ _I buy that for the first kiss—congratulations, excitement, etc._ ”  The woman pointed at the screen, at a wide-angle shot of their poolside embrace. _“Not the second_.”

The man cleared his throat, looking at the camera.  “ _Either way, it’s refreshing to see teammates supporting each other so, ah, enthusiastically.  We’ve repeatedly tried to get interviews with Matsuoka-kun and Nanase-kun, but thus far our efforts have been blocked by the coaching staff as well as the sponsors._ ”

“ _We’ll keep trying, though!_ ” the woman said.  “ _All eyes will be on Nanase-kun this weekend in France.  Will he beat Matsuoka-kun’s records yet again?_ ”

“ _They certainly keep things exciting, don’t they?_ ”  Smiling, the man checked the card in his hand.  “ _Also joining Nanase-kun at the French Open this weekend are Team Captain Ikehara Yoshino-kun, Ozawa Yumiko-san_ —”

Takara reached across and paused the video.  “That’s about it for the good parts.”

Haru pressed his lips, his cheeks hot.  “Where do you find this stuff?”

She shrugged, plucking her phone from his hands.  “I have help.”

“Has Rin seen it?”

“He will if he checks his email,” she said and grinned.

Haru sighed.  There wasn’t any part of Barcelona he regretted and the pictures and videos that ended up on social media—which he didn’t really participate in—didn’t bother him.  So far Rin seemed…OK with it.  _Otherwise, you wouldn’t have recorded that song for me at the karaoke bar.  You had to know that was going to get out…_  

Hopefully Rin would wait until his headache was gone before he looked at his email.

There was a noise overhead as the gate agent lifted a hand microphone.  “ _Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience.  At this time, we’ll begin pre-boarding for flight 785, non-stop service to Salt Lake City—_ ”

A crowd immediately started to form near the door to the jetway.  Haru would never understand why people were in such a rush to go sit in a cramped seat on an airplane.  _If there was a pool onboard, maybe…_  

“Hey, that’s us!”  Mikoshiba popped up from his seat, grabbing his bag and jacket.

“Finally!”  Takara got up, flinging loose black hair behind her shoulder.  “The first thing I’m gonna do in France is have a drink.”

“Takara-kun, that’s a fabulous idea!” 

“I don’t understand why—when the flight is _going_ to Paris—you still have to be 21 to drink onboard.”

“Probably because it’s a US-based airline,” Haru said.  “And _this_ flight’s just going to Utah.”

His teammates exchanged a glance…and looked back at him, grinning.  Haru immediately grew wary—

Takara propped a hand on her hip.  “Haruka, when we get to France, we’re gonna celebrate your birthday in style!”

Mikoshiba clenched a fist in excitement.  “It’ll be even better than last year!”

Haru drew a breath…and exhaled, ignoring them as he got up and gathered his things.  “I’m going to the bathroom.”

-x-

The flight was turbulent, but short, and they caught air with a good bounce on the runway in Salt Lake City. 

Takara—in the middle seat—was white-knuckling her armrest with a scowl.  “Nice landing,” she muttered under her breath.

“Hah.  Which one?”  Mikoshiba grinned broadly from the aisle seat.

At the window, Haru hugged the plush shark to his chest as the aircraft slowed to taxi speed and turned off the runway. 

Assistant Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara had deplaned first, waiting just beyond the gate.

“Everyone OK?” Ikehara asked, glancing at each of them in turn as they gathered.  “That was a rougher flight.”

Haru shrugged when Ikehara looked at him.  “It was fine.”

Takara snorted.  “Says the guy who spent the whole hour clinging to a stuffed animal.”

He flicked his gaze to her askance.  “It’s better than the armrest, Takara.”

Her face tightened and she looked away with an irritated blush.

Ozawa and Konishi smothered their chuckles behind fake coughs while Nakagawa—a London Olympian in the 200m IM—just smiled and went back to her phone, tucking a length of blond hair behind her ear.

Mikoshiba laughed, throwing an arm around Takara’s shoulders.  “I’m sure we can find you a buddy at one of the shops, Takara-kun.”

She glared at him.

Coach Akagi glanced at his watch.  “We’ve got forty minutes and they’ll probably start boarding in twenty.  Don’t miss the plane.”

There was a chorus of ‘hai’s’ and they all scattered in various directions.

Haru trailed behind Takara and Mikoshiba, logging on to wireless to check his messages.  It was after midnight in Spain, so he didn’t expect to see anything from Rin, but it was morning at home in Japan.  The texts popped up all at once—

_[HARU-CHAN!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!]_

_[Nagisa-kun, yelling into the phone does not make the text louder.  Haruka-senpai, I hope you have a wonderful birthday.  Paris is a beautiful city.]_

_[Rei-chan, Haru-chan’s only connecting in Paris.  The competition is in another city.  Ehh, I forgot the name.]_

_[Nagisa-kun!  Why would you give me inaccurate information?!]_

Gou’s text included a cake emoji.  _[Happy Birthday, Haruka-senpai!  Good luck this weekend!  P.S.  Thanks for everything you’ve done for my brother.  I can tell he just, you know, needs it right now.  P.P.S.  You guys are so cute together!  I can’t believe he sang public karaoke for you!]_

 _[Haru,]_ Makoto wrote, _[I know it’s technically not your birthday yet where you are, but Happy Birthday.  I tried to convince Mikoshiba-senpai and Sakamoto-senpai to take it easy this year—not like last year—but I’m not sure they’re going to listen.  You’ll be fine, though.  You only drink free, right?]_ Haru could almost hear it in his head—the way his best friend would’ve been chuckling. _[Text me when you get to Vichy, OK?  It doesn’t matter if it’s late.  Safe travels!]_

There were texts from his parents, too, and emails from some of his classmates and teammates at Koutei…

Haru’s steps slowed.  It was really nice, hearing from everyone.  He missed them, but knowing they cared—having them support him and cheer him on even from a distance—meant a lot.  _I’m not the same person I was a few years ago_.  Tomorrow, he would be twenty years old.  _At twenty, I was supposed to be ordinary._   Back in high school, he’d longed for it—when people would stop getting excited over him and start leaving him alone…  Yet here he was, doing the exact opposite thing…all because of his friends and a sudden trip to Sydney with Rin that changed everything.

Haru smiled to himself as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and caught up with the others. 

_I’ll get back to ordinary someday.  When we’re both ready, Rin._

-x-

The gate agent checked Haru’s passport and handed it back to him.  “ _Thank you, Mr. Nanase.  You’re all set._ ” 

“ _Thank you._ ”  Haru tucked his passport away and exited the line. 

The flight to Paris would be boarding soon.  Haru perched at the window, taking a selfie with the plane—a Boeing 767—in the background.  _I never thought I’d cross the Atlantic twice without you_.  It was going to be three times when he flew from France to São Paulo in late July.  Rin would join him almost a week later.

The skies over Salt Lake City were overcast, which probably meant they were in for another choppy ride, at least on climb out.  He didn’t really mind it and he wasn’t frightened or anything, but it was hard to sleep when the plane was shaking. 

“Haruka.”  Takara adjusted the strap of her travel bag on her shoulder as she came over, eyeing the wall.  “You’re blocking the outlet.  Scoot over.”

Haru rolled his eyes and moved a half-meter to his left.  As she plugged in, he accessed his email so he could send the pic to Rin—

A new message in his inbox caught his eye, nestled between junk mail and Koutei newsletters…  It was from Rin.  The timestamp was…just a few minutes ago. 

 _What are you doing up?_   It was almost 1am in Spain.

Haru selected the email; a video was attached. 

_[Happy Birthday, Haru.  This is the official video from Rome and it’s way better than any of the random crap Sakamoto found.  …Don’t put it on the Internet, though.]_

_Rin_.  A warm glow rose inside him, but chasing it was a nagging feeling—  _You wouldn’t have woken up just to send me this…_

Haru switched over to text.  _[You’re up?]_

Rin’s reply came a minute later.  _[Yeah.]_ There was a pause before Rin’s message continued. _[Can’t sleep.  It works out, though.  Since I got to email you.  You’re where?]_

 _[Salt Lake City.  Just getting ready to board.]_   Haru pressed his lips.  _[Is it the headache?]_

“Takara-kun, look!  My brother figured out how to take videos with his phone!”  Mikoshiba came over, beaming and holding out his phone.

Takara straightened against the window, lifting a brow.  “Your brother doesn’t do technology, huh?  I thought kids his age did nothing but surf porn on the internet all day.”

“Right?  That’s why this is epic!”  Mikoshiba grinned.  “I mean, it’s a little shaky, but check out the lightning against the mountains!”

Haru went cold.

“Hmm...  Not bad.”  She shrugged.  “Pretty good storm, huh?  Like the monsoon we had yesterday in Flagstaff—”

 _Rin_.  Haru gripped his phone, the memories taking hold of him with icy clarity—of Rin when they were kids…of Rin trembling while the storm raged outside.  He was three steps from the window before he caught himself.  _What am I doing?  It’s not like I can run to Spain._   His heart sank, though he tried to rationalize…  Eight years.  There was no way Rin still cried during thunderstorms.  Since then… _it’s not like you ever came back and needed me to hold you like I used to._  

He was overreacting.  It was probably just a coincidence that Rin couldn’t sleep—

“Haruka?”

“You OK, Nanase-kun?”

Haru swallowed.  “Fine,” he said, his voice hoarse. 

Rin hadn’t texted back.

Haru moved away from his teammates, threading through the crowded boarding area until there was enough room to breathe and think…  He clutched the strap of his travel bag in his free hand as he tapped out the message, his thumb hovering over the _send_ button, hesitating for a second…  _[It’s stormy there, Rin?]_

Haru held his breath as he watched the animated ellipsis appear as Rin started to write back…then disappear.  There was a long pause and Haru’s shoulders slumped.  _You didn’t want me to know._

After more than a minute—

_[It’s mostly over, now.  Momo woke up pretty hyper.  I just got him to go back to bed.]_

A lump lodged in Haru’s throat.  _Rin._   The longing to be there was overwhelming, even if it was just sleeplessness…even if all Rin needed was a hug from someone he loved—someone who would push strands of hair back from his face and meet his gaze.  Maybe there wouldn’t be tears this time, but the weariness and fatigue would be just as painful to bear.  Haru knew exactly what that expression looked like—Rin had been wearing it in Rome.  Every time he saw it, the distance pushed a little more on his heart—

Rin texted again.  _[I’m fine, Haru.  You don’t have to worry.]_

Rin was saying that because he had to.  _We have to be fine.  For twenty-four days…we have to be fine._   There wasn’t any alternative.

_[Thanks for the dolphin.  It’s the not the same, but it helps.]_

Haru’s eyes moistened, an ache running through his chest.  _[Yeah.]_

_[Next flight’s the long one, right?]_

The words were a silent plea for normalcy, however forced.  _[Like ten hours.]_

_[Have a safe flight.  Text me when you get to Paris.]_

_[OK.]_   The pain dulled to a soft numbness. 

_[Did you watch the video yet?]_

_[No, but I will.]_ Haru pressed his lips, his hand slipping from the strap of his messenger bag to hang limp at his side.  _[Thanks.]_

_[Happy Birthday, Haru.]_

_[Thanks, Rin.]_   Haru lowered the phone, the screen darkening beneath his thumb.  _You didn’t want to upset me on my birthday._ He rubbed the bracelet on his wrist, the leather pliant beneath his fingertips, the shark and dolphin smooth.  _But it’s not like I can’t tell.  When you’re hurting._

…After boarding the airplane and getting his seat by the window, Haru pulled out his headphones.  With the shark plush nestled in his arms, he watched the video—Rin’s birthday gift to him.  By the end of it, Haru’s smile was genuine and the ache in his heart was almost unbearable.  He clutched the shark to his chest and hit _replay._

* * *

Thursday, June 30th, 2016

* * *

11:30am in Paris felt like the small hours of the morning.  Haru was bleary-eyed as he followed his teammates through immigration; he hadn’t done much more than doze on the flight.  They had a two-hour layover until their flight to Clermont-Ferrand…and after that there was still a shuttle or train or something—he forgot which—to get to Vichy. 

Haru stared at the arrivals and departures board in terminal 2E of the _Aéroport de Paris-Charles-de-Gaulle_ as he took out his phone.  _[I’m in Paris.]_

A steady stream of people joined him at the board and headed off on their way; they moved around him, Haru hardly paying attention.

The phone trilled quietly in his hand. 

Haru answered the Skype call with a tap. 

Rin was outdoors in his running gear with clear blue skies and mountain peaks in the background.  The only evidence of the previous night’s storm was a dewy freshness to the greenery around him on the trail.  His expression was sheepish.  “ _Haru_ …”  Rin’s voice was lost in the noise of the Paris airport—travelers’ conversations and luggage rolling across the floor.

“Hang on.”  Haru dug his headphones from his pocket, slipping one into his ear.  “It’s loud here.”

“ _Better?_ ”

“Yeah.”  Haru relaxed, seeing Rin’s face.  _You look tired, but you’re OK._

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, several strands of hair escaping his ponytail and playing about his face in a slight breeze.  “ _How was the flight?_ ”

 _It brought me closer to you, so that’s one thing_.  Haru shrugged.  “Long.”

_“You look…tired.”_

“I didn’t sleep much.”

Rin’s expression clouded.  _“Haru, I’m sorry about…last night.”_   His brow knit together.  _“I didn’t want to upset you when…”_

Haru pressed his lips.  “When it’s my birthday and we can’t do anything about it.”

Rin’s face fell.  _“…Yeah.”_

A wordless moment passed between them.

Haru drew a breath.  “Is it still bad, Rin?  Like when we were kids?”

 _“Nah.”_   Pink stained Rin’s cheeks as their gazes met again.  _“I mean, of course I wish you were here.  But it usually just wakes me up for a while.  It’s loud and I’m a light sleeper.”_   Rin lowered his voice, the color in his cheeks deepening.  _“I don’t usually have nightmares anymore.”_

Haru searched Rin’s eyes.  “But you did.  Last night.”

Rin tensed.  _“Haru, it’s your birthday.  I don’t want to make this about all of my shit—”_

“I asked,” Haru said.  “I won’t make you tell me.  But I want you to, if you’re OK talking about it.”

Rin swallowed with visible effort, his scarlet eyes troubled.  _“I can…try.”_

 _Rin…_   “It doesn’t have to be now.  If you’d rather wait until Brazil—”

But Rin shook his head.  _“No, I’ll…  In twenty-three days, probably…”_ he trailed off.  _“Now’s better.”_   The breeze brushed strands of ruby hair across Rin’s face.  He paused to swipe them away, the sunlight glinting off the shark and dolphin on his bracelet.  _“It’s usually the same thing, you know?  The boat going down in the storm.  My dad and the others…”_

Haru nodded.  “You told me about it once.”

Rin’s eyes and nose reddened.  _“This time was…different.”_   He paused as if to gather himself, struggling to get the words out.  _“I was on the boat.”_   Rin’s voice deteriorated.  _“You…and the kids were…home—”_ He broke off as his face crumpled.

Haru sucked air, his eyes going wide.  _Rin…you dreamt that…?_

Rin wiped his face with the edge of his hand, the words coming out in a shattered whisper.  _“I wasn’t going to see any of you again…and I just…couldn’t—”_

Moisture stung Haru’s eyes.  He _needed_ to be there and hold Rin…but he wasn’t, he couldn’t.  The distance between them was like a weight, pushing down on his shoulders.  The yearning he felt was crushing and sharp—  “Rin…”

_“I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe and then I woke up…”_

Haru gripped the strap of his messenger bag, his knuckles going white.  His nails bit into his palm. 

_“I couldn’t tell you last night because it was just…too real.”_

Haru’s breath trailed from his lips.  _That’s why…_

On the screen, Rin was waiting, still brushing away tears.  _“God.  Haru, say something—  I need you to—”_

Haru sniffed hard, forcing his fingers to loosen on the strap of his bag.  “You’re…not going to take up fishing, right?”

_“Fuck no.  Never.”_

“Then…it wouldn’t happen like that, Rin.”

 _“Yeah.”_   Rin exhaled roughly.  _“I tried to tell myself that.  But in the middle of the night—fuck.  I just—”_

 _Part of you wanted to run away.  Find some safe place where this can’t happen.  Like being alone._   Haru blinked slowly, feeling the ache that accompanied those thoughts and the way it slowly subsided.  _If there’s no ‘us,’ no one can get hurt.  Except it’s too late for that now, Rin._ “It’s not like it’s even possible.  To ‘protect’ people like that.  Too many people already love you.”

Rin blushed hard.  _“I know that.  And there’s no way I’m giving up what we have over some stupid, shitty dream or leaving because I’m afraid something bad might—_ might _—happen…”_

The weight eased on Haru’s shoulders, giving way to relief.  “Rin…”

Rin pinched the bridge of his nose. _“But why we’re having this conversation while you’re in the middle of a fucking airport—”_

 _Because it’s us, Rin._ Warmth welled up in Haru’s chest.  “What were they like?  Our…kids?”

Rin dropped his hand, his face softening.  _“I don’t know.  I just…knew I loved them as much as I loved you and the thought of leaving them, hurting them—  Having them grow up without both of us—”_

Haru blinked rapidly, trying to quell a resurgence of tears.  “Rin.  How much trouble do you think I’d get in if I tried to board the flight to Málaga instead?”

_“Haru…what?”_

He looked back at the departure board, at glowing letters for Air Europa flight 1036 to Málaga, Spain.  “It leaves ten minutes before my flight to Clermont-Ferrand—”

Rin snorted.  He was smiling as he dried his face.  _“I don’t know.  But if you tried hard enough, I’m sure the French police would arrest your ass.”_

“I could pretend I don’t speak French.”

_“You don’t speak French, Haru.”_

“Or English.”

_“Then you’re just gonna give Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara extra paperwork.”_

Haru smiled.  “Rin.  If you have more dreams about our…family…tell me, OK?”

Rin looked back at him with glistening eyes.  _“Yeah.  I will.”_

-x-

Along the east bank of the Allier River, Vichy was vibrant green against cream and pale stone buildings.  There were parks, expansive lawns, trailing ivy vines, and tall, leafy trees.  Apartment buildings—five to six stories in height—had narrow balconies with intricately designed metal railings.  The shuttle passed two sprawling complexes housing thermal baths before pulling up to the hotel on Avenue Victoria.  Haru climbed out of the vehicle with his teammates, taking in the building of stone and square windows, with small archways shaded by red awnings along the first floor.  It was pleasantly warm, the broad sidewalk drenched in sunlight, and the breeze made the branches of the maple trees sway and dance.  Haru tugged on the handle of his suitcase, following the others inside. 

The lobby had a large seating area and a bar, with dark columns and red accent walls.  Inset lighting glowed in the ceiling while daylight from the windows made the colors pop.  Haru’s gaze was drawn to low couches upholstered in black fabric with scarlet pillows.  Rin would’ve liked the color scheme.

Coach Fujino was waiting for them near the check-in desk in a cobalt polo shirt and khaki pants.  “Welcome Olympians.”  He greeted them with a smile.  “You must be exhausted after so much travel.  Captain Ikehara—”

The sofas looked so comfortable.  Haru knew if he laid down for a second he’d be able to fall asleep.  A projection on the wall behind the front desk said it was 5:16pm, meaning it was 8am according to his internal clock still on Flagstaff time.  If he could just make it three…four more hours, he’d probably sleep through the night.  Haru shifted, feeling grimy in his travel clothes.  _I want a bath._

Mikoshiba and Takara were eyeing the drinks being poured at the bar. 

“…How does that sound, everyone?” Coach Fujino asked.

The others were nodding.

“Sounds good, Coach,” Ozawa said.

Coach Akagi was passing out room key folders.  “Dinner at six, Nanase-kun,” he said.

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head, clutching the small pamphlet that bore his name in cursive.  His teammates were already rolling their suitcases towards the elevators; Haru joined them.

The room he would share with Mikoshiba was on the third floor.  There were two beds next to each other, blond wood accents, and a desk with shelving and a narrow closet by the window.  The drapes were bark and orange-red, making Haru think of cinnamon.  The small, brightly-lit bathroom only had a shower.

“Mind if I shower first, Nanase-kun?  Then you can take as long as you want.”  Mikoshiba set his travel bag on the closer of the two beds and unpacked a few things.

Haru shrugged.  “Sure.”  He maneuvered his suitcase to the bed nearest the window.  He dropped his sweatshirt and messenger bag on the bench by the desk and put the shark plush by his pillow.  Haru sighed, looking down at the toy.  _I wish I was going to bed with you tonight_.  Sleeping wrapped up in Rin’s arms with Rin’s heartbeat beneath his ear was all he wanted in the world right now.

Mikoshiba was done in five minutes, letting a steam cloud into the room as he walked out with wet, spiky hair and a towel slung around his hips.  “All yours, Nanase-kun.”

“Thanks.”  Haru carried a change of clothes into the bathroom and closed the door.  He peeled off fabric that felt cemented to his skin and turned the shower on, adjusting the temperature until the water was the cool side of tepid. 

Haru stepped under the spray and closed his eyes, letting the water run through his hair and coat his skin.  At first, he did nothing but turn slowly, wetting himself down as if he were a sponge or a sun-dried fish that needed water like he needed air.  Eventually, he set about washing, his motions absent-minded and repetitive; he might’ve washed his hair twice but he couldn’t really remember.

Haru was back to standing under the cascade of droplets when Mikoshiba knocked on the door.

“Nanase-kun, we gotta be down in five.”

He numbly twisted the water off.  “Hai.” 

Haru toweled off, pulling on fresh underwear, black shorts, and a blue AdO Arena T-shirt he’d gotten in Norway.  He left his hair damp, slipping into a pair of sandals as he followed Mikoshiba from the room.

The restaurant was on the first floor, around the corner from the lobby.  It was a large, open hall full of small tables with bright red columns and a tiny floral pattern on the carpet.  Dinner was buffet style and just starting service.  There were groups of athletes in warmups interspersed with travelers in street clothes.  Haru’s coaches had moved enough small tables together to accommodate them.

“Before you all run off to the buffet,” Coach Fujino said, once they were all gathered.  He stood at the head of the table, his hand resting on the back of his chair.  “One point of business.  Nanase-kun—”

Haru looked up.

Coach Fujino smiled.  “Happy Birthday.”

His teammates echoed the sentiment and Haru bowed his head in acknowledgement.  “Thanks.”

Everyone scattered to the buffet after that—well, Mikoshiba, Takara, and Ozawa went in search of booze, first—and Haru wandered among the stations, looking for mackerel or at least some kind of fish.

“My apologies for making you spend your birthday on a plane, Nanase-kun,” Coach Fujino said, joining him with a plate in hand.

Haru shrugged.  “It’s fine.”  If he couldn’t be with Rin, or home with his friends, or in a pool, it didn’t really matter where he was or what else he was doing.  “I celebrated early.”

“Yes, I heard about the dolphins in Phoenix.  You have very caring friends.”

 _I miss them._   “Hai,” he said.  He stared at the offerings spread out before him, exhaling at the lack of _saba_.

“You know, I believe they had _maquereau au vin blanc_ on the station over there.” 

His head popped up.  “Where?”

Fujino smiled, pointing.

-x-

Haru’s belly was pleasantly full of _saba_ —and a little bit of salad to make Rin happy—when he got back to his room after dinner, managing to escape before Mikoshiba and Takara could rope him into the bar.  The quiet in the room was blissful.  Haru sat down on the edge of his bed and pulled out his phone.  At 7pm, it was too early to Skype with Rin, who probably had his hands full keeping Momo as far from the desserts as possible.  But at this rate, he wasn’t going to make it to nine.  The daylight beyond the window wasn’t helping him stay awake.

Haru dropped down against the sheets, gazing blearily at his phone as he worked through browser instructions in French to get connected to wireless.  He at least had to text Rin to let him know he was going to bed early—

Haru tapped out half of the message before his eyelids drooped and wouldn’t open again.  His hand fell to the bed, the phone slipping through his fingers—

-x-

“Nanase-kun.”  Mikoshiba was shaking him.

Haru grunted, blinking wearily.  “What?”

The room was darker—red-gold with the last rays of sunset.  Mikoshiba was standing beside the bed, looking way too sober—not to mention _awake_ —for someone who had to be several drinks in by now.

“Sorry, but Captain Ikehara asked for you.  He said it was important.”

“Nn.”  Haru rolled over.  “Really?  Or are you trying to get me drunk on my birthday?”

“Nanase-kun, if I was gonna drag you down to the bar, I wouldn’t be asking and Takara would be helping.”  The guy grinned.

Haru sighed.  “Fine.”  He pushed himself up, slipping his phone into the pocket of his shorts and donning his sandals.  Stifling a yawn, he followed Mikoshiba downstairs.

In the lobby, they turned right instead of left—heading the opposite direction from the restaurant.  As they passed the bar, Haru caught a glimpse of Takara and Ozawa at the center of a cluster of other athletes, shot glasses in hand.

Mikoshiba took him down a hallway where it was less noisy, with closed doors leading into meeting rooms.  “This one.”  Mikoshiba stopped in front of the first set of doors.

Haru glanced at his friend suspiciously, but the guy merely shrugged.  Exhaling, Haru twisted the knob—

Captain Ikehara was alone in the small conference room, his frame bathed in blue light from the projector that was on but not showing anything.  He had a laptop with him, the screen turned away.  Shades were drawn over the windows and only a few of the overhead lights were on.  The captain’s face was grave. 

Haru paused in the doorway with his hand still on the knob.  He’d never seen that expression on Ikehara before.  His palms went clammy as he tried to think—  Had something else ended up on the internet?  He couldn’t think of anything weird he’d done, but—

“Sorry for waking you up, Nanase-kun.”  Ikehara’s tone matched the seriousness of his face.  “But I have something here you need to see.”  The captain waved him into the room.

Haru’s pulse was pounding in his throat as he forced himself to let go of the doorknob and approach Captain Ikehara at the table.

Ikehara looked back at the laptop.  “Here, I’ll put it on the screen—”

Haru turned—

_“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Haru-chan!!”  “Haruka-senpai!”  “Haru!”  “Nanase-senpai!!”_

Haru’s eyes blew wide, his breath catching— 

The screen was split into four sections and all of his friends were smiling back at him—Nagisa and Rei…Gou…Rin and Momo…and Makoto.  _You guys—_   He only belatedly realized there was a webcam set up in front of the free-standing projector screen.

Before he could even think of responding, the door opened and the overhead lights went out—

“Nanase-kun, Happy Birthday!!”  His teammates burst into the room, Ozawa and Konishi carrying a tray between them with a round cake on top, brilliantly ablaze with sparkler candles. 

Then the room was suddenly filled with roving, multi-colored lights and Mikoshiba and Takara had the karaoke machine out, singing _Happy Birthday_ badly in English while the cake was set on the table in front of him—

Haru was stunned speechless, looking around at his friends and teammates.  _Everyone—_  The warmth rose up inside him, thick and overwhelming, and the tears spilled down his cheeks before he could even think not to cry.

 _“Aww, Haru-chan.”_   Nagisa sniffled. _“If you cry, I’m gonna cry too—”_

 _“Makoto-senpai, are you crying?”_ Gou asked.

_“Gou-san!!”_

_“Momo!  You idiot, don’t ruin the moment.”_

Everyone laughed and Haru quickly wiped his eyes, the leather of his bracelet soft as it brushed his face.  He finally drew a breath.  “You—  Everyone—”  Haru gave up, sniffing hard.

 _“Can’t even talk, huh?”_   Rin was grinning at him through the screen, one arm holding Momo in a headlock.

 _Rin_.  Haru locked eyes with his lover and only managed to shake his head. 

“Nanase-kun, make a wish,” Konishi said, the light from golden sparklers glinting off her black hair as she pushed the cake towards him.

“Before something catches fire, preferably,” Ikehara said.

The round cake was iced in white, with twenty candles around the edge.  In the middle was a blue dolphin wearing a gold medal and _Joyeaux Anniversaire_ written in careful script.

 _“Make it a good one, Haru,”_ Rin said.  _“Something big.  Not, ‘I wish I was at the pool right now.’”_

Haru drew a long breath—  Wishing to be with Rin was obvious but it wasn’t _enough_ for the outpouring of love he felt drenched in.  Not even Rio was big enough.  He closed his eyes briefly, his hands curling at his sides.  _I wish…that Rin and I can swim together in Tokyo 2020, surrounded by our friends…_   Opening his eyes, he blew, the golden sparklers going dark one-by-one—

Cheering and applause filled the room.  As Konishi and Nakagawa took to slicing the cake, the karaoke started up again and six-packs of beer appeared out of nowhere…

Haru moved towards the screen.  “Isn’t it the middle of the night?” he asked, looking at Makoto.

 _“Why do you think we’re all in our pajamas, Haru?”_ Makoto said, smiling at him with moist eyes.

Gou shrugged.  _“It’s almost 5am.  I usually get up this early anyways, for practice.”_

 _“Gou-san!”_   Momo struggled in Rin’s grasp, his arms waving towards the screen.

_“Oi, Momo!”_

“Gou-kun!!”  Mikoshiba broke away from the song long enough to grin and wave.

Gou blushed, wincing a little.  _“Uh—”_

 _“Gou, practice for what?”_ Rin asked, still working to hold onto a wriggling Momo.

_“Swim team.”_

_“Gou-chan, you joined the swim team?”_ Nagisa asked.

Rin’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.  _“Gou, you don’t swim—”_

She laughed, strands of red hair falling across her brow.  _“Well, of course that’s not why.  I help the guys stretch and stuff.  You know, for class.”_

_“You what?!”_

Momo’s eyes bugged, his mouth forming an O-shape. 

Makoto and Rei blushed while Nagisa leaned in, his eyes gleaming with intrigue.

“Takara, I need a beer,” Mikoshiba muttered, handing off the microphone to Ozawa as he grabbed one of the cans from the table.

Rin rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation while Haru smiled, soaking in each moment—

Nagisa chuckled.  _“Rei-chan, look.  Haru-chan and Rin-chan have matching bracelets.”_

Haru and Rin flushed in unison.  Rin—not very subtly—dropped his arm out of view.

 _“Are they from…Barcelona?”_   Nagisa asked, his smile sly.

Rei, Gou, and Makoto went quiet, peering into the screen, their sharpened gazes landing on Haru’s wrist.

 _“Oh, oh, I know!”_   Momo shot a hand into the air.  _“Yes, they’re from Barcelona!”_   He lowered his voice to a whisper, pink staining his cheeks.  _“By the curb, I saw them kissing—”_

Rin clapped a hand over the kid’s mouth, his face as red as his hair.

“The entire world has seen you two kissing,” Takara said, taking a break from karaoke to pop the tab on a can of beer.  “It’s old news.”

Rin grunted, looking away.

Momo managed to squirm free.  _“Not that kind of kissing.  Like the time Sakamoto-senpai kissed Yamazaki-senpai.  You know, with tongue—”_

 _“Momo!”_   Rin tackled the kid, the two of them disappearing off screen.

Haru blushed harder, but Takara went _crimson._

_“Ohhhh, Taka-chan and Sou-chan?”_

Ozawa cocked a brow, lowering the microphone briefly.  “Taka-chan, you didn’t tell me—”

“There’s nothing to tell!” 

“Nanase-kun, what’ve you been doing in front of my brother?!”

“Nn.  It was just a little one,” Haru muttered.  On the screen, Gou, Makoto, and Rei were blushing fiercely while Nagisa was whispering something behind his hand into Rei’s ear with a far-from-innocent smile on his face. 

Takara slammed half of her beer and came over, slinging an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “We’re getting off topic,” she said, glaring at Nagisa. 

Haru eyed her, trying to gauge how drunk she was…not drunk enough, apparently.  He pushed her arm off his shoulder with a finger, but she just put it back.

“Matsuoka!  Stop wrestling the kid and get back here.  You’re singing next!”

Rin came back into view, his face red and it was difficult to tell how much was embarrassment and how much was exertion.  He straightened his tank top.  _“Oh, like hell, Sakamoto—”_

“Cue it up, Seijuurou!”

“I could just pull up YouTube,” Captain Ikehara said, between bites of cake.

 _“Does Haru-chan sing?”_ Nagisa asked.

 _“I don’t think I’ve ever heard Haruka-senpai sing,”_ Rei said, adjusting his glasses.

Makoto chuckled.  _“Haru’s either incredibly monotone or incredibly into it; it depends on the song.”_

Rin lifted a brow and Haru pressed his lips.  _Nn._

Takara laughed, letting go.  “We could sing _that_.”

Haru inhaled.  _Uh-oh…_

“Which one, Takara-kun?” Mikoshiba asked, over by the machine.

“What do you mean, ‘which one’?  The _only_ song Haruka’s been singing since Barcelona.”  She went and retrieved one of the microphones.

“Haha!  _That_ —”

Haru’s face started to burn.  Everyone on screen was looking at him curiously now, especially Rin.  Momo popped up behind Rin’s shoulder, looking on.

 _I’m not gonna get out of this, am I?_   Takara put the microphone in his hand.  _Not after you sang publicly for me…_

Haru sighed, closing his eyes for a second and gripping the microphone.  It was awkward the first time he sang it with his teammates, too, but…  He glanced behind him.  “Takara, Ozawa-senpai, Konishi-san…you’ll help, like usual?”

Ozawa, standing at the center of the trio and holding the other mic, gave him a big thumbs-up.  “Of course!”

Haru drew a deep breath and looked back at the screen.

Rin was giving him a look like, _what the fuck is the usual?_

“Ready, Haruka?”

“Nn.  I guess.”

As the syncopated notes of the punk rock song— _Chiisana Koi no Uta_ —by Mongol800 started, Haru lifted the mic— “ _Hiroi uchuu no kazu aru hitotsu…”_   His voice was joined by electric guitar and a steady backbeat.

_{In this vast universe,_

_In a single vast blue planet,_

_My small feelings of love reach out to you…}_

_“Oh, that is incredibly monotone,”_ Nagisa said.

 _“Shh, Nagisa-kun, that part is supposed to be monotone!”_ Gou said.  She was covering her mouth with her hands, but obviously grinning.

As the full drum set came in, Rin blushed all the way to his ears, his gaze flattened and he obviously recognized the song—

_“Anata to deai toki wa nagareru…”_

_{Time has passed since I met you,_

_And the letters adorning our feelings are also increasing._

_Someday, they will echo unnoticed in our hearts…}_

When the chorus came up, the ladies took over, singing upbeat and loud—  _“Hora!  Anata ni totte, daiji ni hito hodo sugu soba ni iru no…”_

_{Hey!  The person who is important to you is right by your side.}_

Haru bit his lower lip as he watched Rin’s face cloud. 

_{They just want it to reach you._

_Resound, O song of love._

_Hey—  Hey—  Hey—_

_Resound, O song of love.}_

As the chorus ended, he drew another breath—  _“Anata wa kidzuku, futari wa aruku…”_

_{Even if the two of us should walk a dark road,_

_The moon would illuminate our days._

_Never letting go of your hand._

_Our feelings are strong and we vow it’s for all eternity…}_

Rin’s eyes moistened, glistening with tears.

_“Eien no uchi, kitto boku wa iu…”_

_{Eternally recurring, I will surely say the same exact words._

_But those words will never cease, they will turn into tears, then to joy._

_Unable to speak, I will just hold you._

_I will just hold you—}_

Haru’s voice broke on the last and he got it out with effort.  _“…tada dakishimeru—”_

Shimmering trails spilled down Rin’s face.

Everyone else sang the chorus the second time—their teammates in the room and their friends on the screen, all belting out the familiar lyrics.  _“Hora!  Anata ni totte—”_

Haru held Rin’s gaze as the words of the song surrounded them.  _{The person who is important to you is right by your side.}_ He gripped the microphone tightly, letting it all shine in his eyes.  _I love you, Rin._

Rin swiped at his tears and grinned, laughing and crying at the same time.  His eyes danced with the same love as they looked at each other.

-x-

The party started to deteriorate as the empty beer cans piled up.  The Japan crowd logged off for class or more sleep and—while Momo sang loud, off-key karaoke with his drunk brother—it was easy for Haru to catch Rin’s gaze on the screen and slip away from the room, unnoticed…

It was late, the night sky clear and dotted with stars beyond the window in Haru’s hotel room.  He perched on the edge of the bed, Skyping on his phone.

 _“How long, do you think, before the coaches start enforcing curfew?”_   Rin was on a sofa in a small common area, where it was quiet.

“Soon, probably,” Haru said.  “It’s not like Coach Akagi doesn’t know.  He and Captain Ikehara are roommates.”

Rin smiled, though his expression quickly turned wistful.  _“I wish I could’ve been there, Haru.”_

Haru’s throat closed hot and tight.  He shook his head.  “Rin, you already…”  He pressed his lips, managing a whisper.  “Thanks.”

 _“Ehh.”_   Rin rubbed the back of his neck, blushing a little. _“I had a lot of help.  Captain Ikehara and Sakamoto organized a lot of your end, and Makoto helped me set things up with the others.”_   He snorted.  _“Not all of that was my idea, you know.”_

“You didn’t ask for beer and karaoke and bad singing?”

Rin’s face softened.  _“No.  But some of that…I’m glad.”_

Haru’s cheeks heated.

_“You’ve really been singing that since Barcelona?”_

“…Yeah.”

The warmth in Rin’s gaze was almost like the familiar press of arms around his shoulders…

_“Did you make a good wish, Haru?  Don’t tell me—it’s supposed to be a secret, but…  It was a good one, right?”_

Haru smiled.  “Yeah.  It is.”

Not long after that, the room phone trilled.  Haru glanced at it.  “I’d better…”

_“Yeah.  Go.”_

Haru got up, crossing to the phone by the entryway.  “Hai?”

 _“Nanase-kun.”_   It was Captain Ikehara.  _“Sorry, but do you mind coming down to retrieve your roommate?  Konishi-san and I kind of have our hands full with the others.”_

“Sure.  I’ll be right there.”

 _“Thanks.”_   The relief was evident in Ikehara’s voice.

Haru placed the receiver back into its cradle.  “Rin, I—”

 _“Yeah.  I’d better go check on Momo.”_   Rin smiled.  _“Happy Birthday, Haru.”_

“Thanks.”  Haru waved, his heart full to overflowing as he hung up and headed out the door…

-x-

The elevator stopped on the second floor on the way down.  When the doors slid open, Coach Akagi was standing there, holding a cell phone.

Haru bowed his head in greeting, wondering how much trouble they were all in…

“Reinforcements?” Akagi asked, slipping the device into his pocket.

“Hai.”

Akagi just nodded and Haru was relieved.

The conference room was pretty well cleaned up by the time Haru got there.  All the trash and food had been taken care of, equipment put away. 

…And there were four swimmers passed out in chairs at the table—Mikoshiba, Takara, Ozawa, and Nakagawa.

Coach Akagi sighed, standing in the doorway and surveying the scene.  He glanced back at Haru.  “You can manage him, right?”

“Yeah.”  After a year at Koutei, Haru was used to this.  He went and gathered Mikoshiba from his chair, draping one of the guy’s arms across his shoulders.

Mikoshiba came awake—sort of, staggering a little as he got his feet under him.  “Ah, Nanase-kun.  Haha.  Hell of a party.”

“Come on, you have to at least try to walk.”  Haru wrapped a stabilizing arm around Mikoshiba’s waist, guiding them towards the door.

“Are we in trouble, Akagi-sensei?” Nakagawa asked, her voice slurred as Akagi hoisted her up, piggy-back style.

“You will be if Coach Fujino finds out…”

Haru and Mikoshiba made it to the door first and across the lobby with mincing steps.  There was no sign of Coach Fujino, fortunately, and the lobby bar was still plenty crowded. 

In the elevator, Haru leaned the guy against the wall—not letting go, but resting while he could. 

Mikoshiba’s eyes were mostly closed, his head lolling against Haru’s shoulder and his breath thick with the scent of beer.  “So, Nanase-kun?  Better than last year?”

Haru smiled.  “Yeah.”

* * *

Friday, July 1st, 2016

* * *

Haru was exhausted the next morning, but at least he wasn’t hung over.  Four of his teammates wore sunglasses at the breakfast table, their plates uniformly eggs, toast, and oatmeal.  It was a small miracle that Mikoshiba and Takara were conscious at all.  Coach Fujino pulled Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara aside for a ‘chat,’ but that seemed to be the worst of it.  _Until we get to the pool, probably._   They were all dressed in matching Team Japan attire—white and black T-shirts with one red sleeve and gray shorts with a water pattern.  It was square leg day and Haru’s thighs felt cool and free beneath the loose Team Japan shorts.  He was starting to like the way it felt, actually.

The shuttle ride from the hotel to the _Stade Aquatique de Vichy Val d’Allier_ crossed the Allier River and took less than ten minutes.  The day was clear and sunny, the temperature crisp in the morning but forecasted to be hot by midday—though Haru’s definition of ‘hot’ had changed in Phoenix.  Vichy’s daily high of 29 degrees C was balmy in comparison.

In an area of grassy fields and low trees, the shuttle pulled up to a triangular building with a sloped roof and cobalt blue siding.  Large sections of the parking lot and the surrounding walkways were full of small tents and kiosks in various stages of completion.  The shuttle let them off in front of the entrance, the building set a short distance from the curb.  The entryway was all windows with a glass dome beyond, sparkling in the sun, and Haru could hear the sound of the water and the whistle from the outdoor 50m pool. 

They headed into the lobby for registration, one whole wall looking into the large, glass-enclosed space that housed a 25m warm up pool, a wading pool, and waterslides… 

The locker room was massive and already crowded with athletes.  Haru stripped down to his square legs—the suit navy blue with flowing lines of ocean-blue and sea-foam green down the sides.  He smoothed his cap over his hair and grabbed his goggles before heading out into the glass-enclosed dome where they were supposed to meet.

After two full days without pool time, the influx of warm, chlorinated air was a heady rush…and the view left him breathless.  The dome was centered over the wading pools—concentric circles spreading outward, with water right up to the lip of each arc.  A coiled staircase led up to the waterslide, which snaked down and splashed into the left-hand side of the leisure pool.  To the right, in an adjacent section, seating areas surrounded the 25m pool.  Beyond both pools, an entire wall of clear glass looked out at the 50m swimming pool outside. 

Haru gripped his goggles as he took it all in.  The place was _beautiful_ , enough to make him reconsider Rin’s suggestion about transferring to the School of Architecture.  He could dream up pools like this all day long…design them, build them, swim in them…  Except for the design-build part taking _years_ , it sounded like a good idea.  _Or we could just travel to these places and swim together—_

The thought was bittersweet, catching hot in his throat.  Two months ago, Rin sent him pictures of this place.  _I wouldn’t be standing here now if not for what you did._ Helping him work through his fears and prepare for this trip was only one item in a long list of things Rin had done for him.  There were big things like Sydney and Barcelona and small, precious details like karaoke in Rome and the bracelet that left a tan line on his wrist.  Not to mention last night— _all of the work you did to make my birthday special—_ even though Rin was wading through some difficult stuff on his own.  Haru knew it wasn’t a competition—that love wasn’t measured by the quality or quantity of things they did for each other.  But he longed to reciprocate, to answer with something that required more from him than a medal in Barcelona or a stuffed dolphin.  _Maybe, after Rio…_

“There must be something wrong if you’re just staring at the water without being _in_ it, Haruka.”  Takara adjusted her swim cap as she joined him.  She wore a lavender practice suit, her eyes still a little bloodshot. 

“Mm.  Just…thinking,” he said.

She tapped his wrist, absent of the bracelet.  “Only three more weeks, right?  You can make it.”

“…Yeah.”  But his heart fell, thinking of all that time and distance and Rin’s soft words…  _There’s a lot I want to tell you.  Not like this, though._

Takara tugged on his arm, guiding him towards the warm up pool.  “Come on.”

At the edge of the water, he set his goggles in place and dove in, starting his warm ups.  The cool water surrounded him, gliding across his skin as he moved.  The muted world beneath the surface always brought him clarity and focus…and today was no different.  A solitary thought seized him and wouldn’t let go—

There could be a lot of summer storms in three weeks’ time.

-x-

Practice was brutal, especially with the residual jetlag.  The abundance of oxygen to his lungs and muscles after weeks at elevation in Flagstaff helped, but Haru still felt drained when they were done.  The thrill he usually felt—just being in the water—was absent.

He stood under cold spray in one of the shower stalls in the locker room, still in his square legs.  When he should’ve been done, he reached for the knob to turn the water off, but his fingers fell short, returning numbly to his side.  _Three more weeks_.  Out of two months, they were one week past halfway.  It wasn’t really fair to think of the whole two months anymore—not given Barcelona—but the majority of the travel and competitions were behind them, now.  After the French Open this weekend, it would just be a grind of training and taper for days on end…until São Paulo. 

The length of time _felt_ like forever.

Haru turned and sank down to sit on the tiled floor.  He hugged his knees to his chest as the cool water ran through his hair and pelted his shoulders.  Could they make it?  Of course.  It wasn’t like they had a choice, anyways.  They would both grit their teeth and slog through it, somehow.  But there was a part of him that he’d tried so hard to shove down, bottle up, and ignore…  If he were honest with himself, that part had only grown in his negligence, the part of him that _didn’t want to anymore_ —that wanted Rin and home and for all of this to simply be _over_. 

Haru rested his forehead on his knees, the water cascading down the back of his neck, cold enough to make him shiver.  Rin hadn’t explained in so many words what he was going through; Haru could only guess at pieces from the ghosts he’d seen in Rin’s eyes and the bits Rin had talked about.  Rin _rarely_ spoke about his father’s death, even when they were kids it was a subject that came up only once or twice.  He heard most of the details from Gou and from Makoto, who always seemed to be sensitive to the way things affected people.  When Rin talked about his dad it was usually in the context of his dream and the Olympics…  _I know you said it was your dream and not his that you’re after, but…_   If things—memories?—were surfacing now, wouldn’t it only get worse, the closer they got to Rio?  Haru knew he couldn’t _fix_ Rin and he would never delude himself to try…but if—like the storms—he could help…  If, by being there, by brushing away tears and whispering _I love you_ , he could soothe the pain even a little…  He wanted so badly to be able to do that for the one he loved.  Phone calls and nights cuddling through Skype were better than nothing, but that didn’t stop the ache in his chest when he _knew_ Rin was still hurting—

The water cut off abruptly.

Haru raised his head, shaking the water from his hair and blinking.

“Here you are, Nanase-kun.”  Captain Ikehara stood in the open door of the stall.  He was still in plum-colored square legs from practice, a towel slung around his shoulders.  The overhead lighting caught on the copper highlights in his damp hair. 

_I guess I should’ve locked the door._

Ikehara gestured with a nod of his head.  “Come on out.”

Haru wordlessly got up, numb from more than just the cold water as he followed his captain into the main area of the locker room.  The place had cleared out compared to the busyness of the morning. 

Ikehara handed him a fresh towel, pointing him to a bench. 

They sat, Haru towel-drying his hair while he felt the captain’s expectant gaze.

“Something bothering you?”

Haru shook his head.

“Because—as far as I know—the last time you did this, it was because of the water concerns in Rio, back at training camp.”

Haru stopped drying, his hands falling to his lap as he remembered how Rin found him in the shower and held him until he felt better.  _Add that to the list of things you’ve done for me.  Actions and moments that said, ‘I love you,’ long before we ever confessed in Barcelona._ Haru’s eyes stung.

“Nanase-kun?”

“It’s not…that,” he said quietly.

A silent moment passed between them.

“Is there someone else you want to talk to?  Mikoshiba-kun or Sakamoto-san?  Or I could grab your phone for you.”

Haru shook his head.  Talking wouldn’t fix this.  _A plane ticket might._

At length, Ikehara sighed.  “Look.  You’re an adult now.  If you want to go through life moping around and shutting down when something upsets you, that’s your business.  But you’re better off finding more productive ways of dealing with your problems than this.”

Haru looked up.  “But they won’t—”

Ikehara met his gaze.  “Did you ask?”

Haru didn’t answer.  _How could I possibly…?_

“Because if you asked and they said no, you need to do what you have to do to get over it.  But if you didn’t ask…then the answer will always be no and you’ll never know if it could’ve been yes.”

Haru swallowed hard around the lump forming in his throat.  “But…if I ask for special treatment, it’s not fair.”

The captain lifted a brow.  “What’s not fair?”

His hands curled in his lap.  “I’m not the only one who…misses someone.”

Ikehara’s eyes softened with compassion.  “Nanase-kun.  If I said I needed to go home for a week to see my wife and daughter, don’t you think they’d let me?  We’re here because we’ve chosen to be here, not because anyone is forcing us.”  The captain smiled faintly.  “This isn’t some kind of test to see how hard they can push us until we break.  No one can decide for you what your limits are or where that line is.  Our coaches try, but there’s only so much they can do.”  His expression sobered.  “By the time they’re reacting to the warning signs, it might already be too late.”

Haru pressed his lips.  “I’m not gonna lose it like Sugiyama-senpai.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that.  But I am saying…you have a responsibility to take care of yourself and speak up when you need to.  People aren’t going to treat you like a kid anymore.”  He paused.  “Makes sense?”

Haru nodded.  “Yeah.”

The captain rubbed his brow.  “One more thing, Nanase-kun…”  He exhaled.  “If you’re serious about clean water and all the concerns in Rio and around the world…you can’t be _that guy_ who sits in the shower with the water running when you get upset.”

 _Nn_.  Haru slumped a little, feeling sheepish.

“Try to find something more constructive.  Get in the pool, do your art thing…  Just not this.  OK?”

“…Hai.”

Ikehara smiled and got up.

Haru followed, clutching his towel around his shoulders.  He inhaled as Ikehara started to move off.  “Captain?”

Ikehara paused, glancing back.  “Hm?”

“Thank you.”

The captain’s eyes warmed.  “Sure.  Anytime.”

-x-

Haru’s heart pounded as he logged onto his laptop after lunch, sitting on top of the covers in his hotel room while Mikoshiba snored one bed over.  As soon as he was connected, he started a flight search…  As results came in, Haru grabbed the hotel pen and notepad off the desk, jotting down times and prices…

An hour later, he dropped down to the bed, exhausted.  He pushed the laptop and notepad aside, grabbing his stuffed shark instead.  A train ride to Lyon, a flight to Málaga, a car to Sierra Nevada…he could do it all for about 300 Euros, one way.  Each one of his gold medals in Barcelona had earned him 330 Euros, not to mention the additional for meet records.  It was possible he’d make more this weekend, too, if he didn’t screw it up.  The thought of trading money for the chance to see Rin seemed ridiculous and obvious—of course he didn’t care about money.  He’d pay a lot more than 300 Euros.  Time was more the issue—it was a minimum of nine hours of travel, making anything shorter than a few days impractical.  All of that would cut into his training…not that he cared about missing training, but the people paying for him to be here did.  His coaches, too—they had plans laid out for him.  What had Coach Fujino said at the beginning?  _These itineraries have been carefully selected for you by our staff and the JASF…_

It was all of those things that weren’t money that made the sweat break out on his palms.  He wasn’t the kind of person who asked for things or asked for help.  He didn’t go through life demanding that people bend to his needs and desires.  Instead, he adapted where he could and withdrew when he couldn’t, sinking into the calm, quiet world underwater where disappointments didn’t matter and he didn’t _need_ anything.

 _What if they say no?_   The thought filled him with dread, the fear pulsing in his throat.  _…What if they say yes?_   In some ways, that was equally terrifying…because it meant that Captain Ikehara was right, that he couldn’t just hide in the water anymore, that he had to step out and move and make an effort for what he wanted.  That merely swimming fast wasn’t going to be enough to get to the future he dreamed of.  His throat went dry as he stared up at the featureless ceiling, clutching the shark to his chest.  Things like this were so easy for Rin, but for him it felt like swimming against a strong current with ropes tied around his limbs, holding him back—

Haru closed his eyes, drawing a deep breath and letting it out slowly.  Was Rin worth it, though?  _Oh God, yes._

-x-

They were back at the pool in the afternoon with an hour to relax and recuperate before practice started up again.  Haru’s teammates hit the jacuzzi, sauna, or leisure pool, but he went in search of his coaches, his dog-eared paper of scribbled notes tucked into the pocket of his shorts.

He found Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi in a glass-walled meeting room on the second floor of the facility, with views of the 50m pool outside.  It was clear the two were in conference, with notebooks and stacks of paper in front of them.  Haru’s nerves—already coiled tight in his stomach—worsened at the thought of interrupting them with his request.

“Can I help you, Nanase-kun?”  There was a woman sitting outside of the conference room in one of several comfortable chairs.  She wore a white, short-sleeve blouse and a navy blue pencil skirt, her hair twisted up and secured with what appeared to be a stylus.  He recognized her as one of the team’s sponsor reps, though he couldn’t remember her name.  They’d had so many filtering in and out over the course of the trip.  The woman only looked up briefly from her Blackberry, glancing at him through thin glasses.

Haru cleared his throat with effort, forcing the words out.  “I was…wanting to talk to Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi.”

“They’re in a meeting right now.  …Unless there’s something I can assist you with?”

His heart sunk as what little bravery he’d been able to muster started to erode.  “I…I guess I’ll come back…”  He didn’t know what else to do. 

The sponsor rep nodded, returning to her Blackberry.

Haru turned, going numb with disappointment while some sick inner voice reveled in validation.  _See, you couldn’t do it even when you wanted to._ His throat closed as the feelings of failure weighed on him—just like in high school when his feet touched the bottom of the pool during the 100m free and everyone, with all their expectations, stared at him.  His own voice echoed in his head, “ _Dream?  Future?  I don’t have any of that!”_

But that wasn’t true anymore.  He had a dream he wanted with Rin.  He had a future he wanted with Rin.  Haru’s steps slowed…and stopped.  And those things were worth fighting for, were worth slogging through his own fears and proclivities.  He _wanted_ to do something for Rin that was more than what was easy…even if the answer was no.  So… _fuck it, I’m doing this now._   Wasn’t that how Rin decided things?

Haru came back and bowed from the waist in front of the sponsor rep.  “ _Sumimasen_.  I have a request.”

“Yes, Nanase-kun?”

Haru stayed with his head bowed, his heart pounding in his chest.  “I want to be allowed to travel to Sierra Nevada.”

There was a short pause; the woman set her Blackberry aside on the small end table next to her chair.  “For…?”

“To see Rin.”

“Matsuoka-kun?”

“Hai.”  He swallowed hard, his face feeling hot.

“…I’m listening.”

Haru blinked, straightening.  _There has to be more?_

The woman was looking at him with one arm perched on the edge of her chair, her gaze expectant.

“Uh—”

“For how long, Nanase-kun?  A few days, a week?  Until São Paulo?”

 _Yes, any._ Haru inhaled.  “I hadn’t—”

Her gaze sharpened.  “Tell me what you _want_ , Nanase-kun.  Let’s start there.”

“I want to do my high altitude training in Spain with Rin.  Not here.”  The words spilled from his lips, his face burning.  _I just asked for the moon._

The woman smiled with her eyes in a way that reminded Haru of a satisfied cat.  She adjusted her glasses and lowered her hand.  “Training decisions are made by the coaching staff.”

“But you’d have to approve the cost.”  The sponsors controlled the checkbook.  He could cover the transportation there but not room and board and everything else.

“Yes, that’s quite true.”  She shifted in the chair, crossing her legs.  “In addition to the cost to get you there…we’d have to make arrangements with Sierra Nevada and cancel arrangements made here in France.  That were made months ago, I might add.  All that assuming the facility in Spain has the space available.  Your flights to São Paulo, as well, would have to be changed.  I doubt I have to explain how expensive that could be.  It adds up, obviously.”

 _Then…_   Haru steeled himself.  “Are you saying no?”

“I didn’t say that, Nanase-kun.”  She smiled faintly.  “Supposing the coaching staff could accommodate the changes to your training…  What’s the benefit to my company to finance your request?”

Haru drew a breath, trying to think—

“We toss around ad campaigns all the time about achieving dreams and inspiring the next generation.  But this is the real world, Nanase-kun, and my bottom line is about selling products.  Aspiring athletes want to wear what their heroes wear.  They buy products showcased by the fastest and most successful athletes.  So?”  She lifted a manicured brow.

Haru pressed his lips.  “We swim our best together.  We always have.”

“And yet, you’ve been breaking records repeatedly, while separated.  Not to mention, you’ll be together in São Paulo and Rio.  So why should I expect these three weeks to positively impact my bottom line, more than you’re already doing?”

His hands curled at his sides as the internet sportscast came to mind.  “What if…I did an interview or some photos?  Rin usually agrees to that stuff, though I won’t speak for him.”

She gave him a thoughtful look.  “We’ve been trying to protect your privacy, Nanase-kun.”

“I wasn’t offering to do weird photos.”

Her eyes gleamed with amusement.  Before she could say more, her phone rang.  “Excuse me,” she said, picking up the buzzing device.

The glass door of the conference room opened, Coach Akagi leaning out.  “Nanase-kun, did you need something?”

“…Hai.”  Haru went into the room.  With both of his coaches looking at him and waiting, he bowed from the waist.  The nerves came back, tight in his stomach.  He cleared his throat.  “Please allow me to do my altitude training in Sierra Nevada.  With Rin.”

There was a long pause, the room silent except for the sound of Coach Akagi dropping back into his chair at the table.

Coach Fujino shifted a couple of papers around and exhaled. 

Haru hesitantly straightened.  The room had one round table with six chairs and a projector screen on one wall.  The window shades were all raised, the 50m pool down below glistening in the sunlight.

“I never fail to be surprised by what comes out of your mouth, Nanase-kun,” Fujino said, sitting back in his chair.  “Be that ‘I only swim free’ or Norwegian…or a request like this.”

Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

“Is this something you and Matsuoka-kun have been scheming?” Akagi asked. 

Haru shook his head.  “Rin doesn’t know that I’m asking.”

Fujino tapped a pen absently against his notepad.  “Your request is not an easy one.  It’s already the weekend in Japan and late in the day in Spain.  We’re headed to the training facility on Tuesday…”

Haru bowed again.  “ _Sumimasen_.  I know what I’m asking is difficult.  I could go later, I just…” … _don’t want to wait three weeks until I see Rin again._   “ _Sumimasen._ ”

Fujino sighed.  “We already accommodated Barcelona for the two of you—generously, I thought.”

“Hai,” Haru said, keeping his head down.

“I’m not saying we don’t value what the two of you bring to each other, but there are thirty-four athletes on this team.  If some members of the team feel like others are being unfairly given special treatment or shown favoritism, it affects the whole, doesn’t it?”

Haru’s heart sank.  “ _Hai._ ”

Fujino’s voice softened.  “Is this a want or a need?  Are you saying you can’t continue unless I let you do this?”

Haru swallowed, his hands curling against his knees.  _I want to do this for Rin._ But he couldn’t say that.  They wouldn’t understand and he didn’t want it to sound like there was something _wrong_.  That would only make things worse.  “I’m not saying that,” he said, his eyes stinging.

“Lift your head, Nanase-kun.”

He straightened obediently, letting his hands fall open at his sides. 

Coach Fujino studied his face for a long moment.  “I know this is hard for you—being away from home and away from your friends like this.  I know even coming to work with me at Koutei was a stretch for you.  But every time you think you can’t do something, I’ve watched you be amazing at it.  Look at how far you’ve come, just in a year.”

Sure, maybe all those things were true.  But none of that changed the fact that he was only here because Rin helped him.  Haru nodded because that was what Fujino expected of him.

Coach Fujino looked down, writing on his notepad.  “I have your request, Nanase-kun.  Let’s revisit this on Monday, after the competition.”

“…Hai.”  He barely got the word out.  Haru wiped his eyes swiftly and bowed so they wouldn’t see his tears.  This was why he didn’t ask for things, why it was so much easier to stay under the water where everything made sense and all his expectations were assured.  The water never disappointed him.  “Thank you, Coach Fujino,” he said, turning for the door.

“…Did you catch all that?  Mae-chan?” Akagi asked.

Haru froze, not realizing the phone was on.

“ _Yes, I did_.”  Maekawa’s voice was tinny through the speaker phone.  “ _Fujino-sensei, we have an agenda item that is pertinent to this discussion_.”

“I’m aware of that, Maekawa-san.”  The pen tapped again.  “Nanase-kun, do any of the others know about your request?”

Haru glanced back, starting to shake his head.  “Oh.  Just…Captain Ikehara.” 

Fujino nodded.  “Keep it that way, please.  Until we have a decision.”

“Hai.”  Haru reached for the door—

The glass door opened before he got to it, the sponsor rep breezing into the room with her phone held to her ear.  “ _S_ _í…s_ _í…  Gracias, muy amable.  Adios_.”

Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi both hastened from their chairs and bowed low.

Haru paused, trying to remember the last time he saw his coaches be that formal with one of the sponsor reps…

The woman lowered her phone, her gaze flicking over his face before she looked at Coach Fujino.  “What did you tell him?”

“We’ll revisit the conversation on Monday, Tsuchiya-san,” Fujino said.  “After the competition.”

“I see,” Tsuchiya said.  “Consider the finance portion all but wrapped, as soon as the Paris office calls me back to confirm their cancellation policy.”

“Thank you.  You are efficient as always.”

“Nanase-kun.”  Akagi looked at him.  “Have you been officially introduced?  Tsuchiya-san is head of the division.”

“A-ah.”  Haru turned so he could bow properly.

“We’ve met,” Tsuchiya said.  “I’ll cover a one-to-one swap or send two.  C.A.R. can accommodate either option.”

A glimmer of hope woke inside him.

Tsuchiya took a seat at the table.  “Pending your training impacts, of course.”

The coaches joined her at the table.  “Nanase-kun.  Thank you,” Fujino said.

It was a clear dismissal and Haru dipped his head, ducking out of the room.

-x-

He found a bench in a quiet area of the facility and sat down, not about to have Captain Ikehara find him in the shower for the second time in one day.  The energy leeched from his limbs as the effort and raw emotions took their toll.  Maybe jetlag was involved, too.  He definitely felt…tired.

 _I…tried, Rin._   There was some victory in that and in a day or two, he’d probably be able to take a bit of comfort or satisfaction from that fact.  Now it just _hurt_.  This ‘adulting’ stuff wasn’t really that great.

But…he’d asked instead of giving up and he’d—accidentally—bargained with the head of the division of one of their major sponsors…and he hadn’t completely embarrassed himself during the conversation with Coach Fujino.  _I wanted to do something hard, not easy._   It hadn’t worked out this time, but maybe next time it would.  And—at least—there wasn’t any way to make things worse.  At the end of twenty-two days he would still see Rin in São Paulo and they would go on to Rio together…

He _knew_ they could both get through it.  _I just wish we didn’t have to._

Haru felt better—or at least he felt functional—by the time he was supposed to meet his teammates at the pool for practice.  He stashed his things in the locker room and headed outside with a towel.  It was sunny and pleasantly hot, the 8-lane, 50m pool surrounded by banners that read _Open de France_ and _F_ _éd_ _ération Fran_ _çaise Natation._   Stadium seating lined the far side of the pool with temporary risers set up on the nearer side and at the turn-end.  Behind the start end of the pool, on the left, were tents set up for the call and inspection areas.

Ozawa was waiting behind lane one, where they were supposed to meet.  She wore a blue practice suit trimmed with black, her brown hair already tamed beneath her swim cap.  Her goggles hung at her throat. 

Haru headed over, but Takara got to him first.

“Haruka, there you are.”  She flung her arms around his shoulders.  “Why didn’t I see you in the pool?”

“Because I wasn’t there,” he said, peeling her off.

She frowned.

Haru looked around.  All of the women were present, but their coaches and the rest of the men were absent. 

“It’s just us to start,” Ozawa said.  “Our coaches, Captain Ikehara, and Mikoshiba-kun will be joining us in a bit.”  She propped a hand on her hip.  “Lane one for standard warm ups.  Taka-chan, you’re leading off.”

“Hai.”  Takara readied her goggles and climbed onto the block.

“Nanase-kun, you’re next,” Ozawa said.  “Then Konishi-san and Nakagawa-san.”

“Hai.”  Haru set his towel aside and got in line.  He glanced up at the glass-walled building, trying to guess where the conference room was, but he couldn’t see through the tinted windows. 

After Takara dove, he climbed onto the block…

-x-

They were a half-hour into the set when the others arrived—including Division Head Tsuchiya, who took a seat in the stands with sunglasses and a sunhat to shade her face.  Haru was used to the sponsor reps hanging around, but he rarely interacted with them unless they needed him to sign something.  He scanned the faces of his coaches and teammates but couldn’t read anything—Mikoshiba was as excitable as he usually was and Ikehara looked relaxed.  When his prescribed thirty-second rest was over, Haru ducked back underwater.

…By the end of the session, he was ready for a nap—or dinner and heading straight to bed.  The jetlag was catching up with him; fortunately, his race tomorrow—the 100m free—had late morning heats, so he could get a little extra sleep if he needed to. 

“Good work today, Olympians,” Coach Fujino said as they gathered by the side of the pool.  “Thanks for pulling it together and working hard.  Especially those of you who had a little…extra ground to cover this morning.”  He glanced at Mikoshiba, Takara, and the rest of the hangover crowd.  “Consider yourselves on a _dry_ curfew tonight and tomorrow night.  I trust that’s clear.”

“Hai.”  Everyone answered, the four bowing particularly low.

Fujino smiled.  “Excellent.  Shuttle’s in twenty minutes and dinner’s at 7:30.  See you there, Olympians.”

Stripping off his cap and goggles, Haru went to retrieve his towel and sandals—

“Nanase-kun.”

He stilled at the sound of Coach Fujino’s voice, laying the towel around his neck as the water dripped from his hair.  “Hai.”  Hesitantly, he turned.

Coach Fujino gestured him towards the edge of the pool deck, near the temporary risers.  Tsuchiya was climbing down from her seat, still wearing the blouse and skirt, along with a pair of striped flats.

“Join us for a moment.”

His heart leapt into his throat.  “Hai.”

He followed them to a grassy area behind the call tents where it was quieter than the main pool. 

Coach Fujino sighed, facing him.  “Don’t think this is normal.  The only reason I have an answer for you this quickly is due to Tsuchiya-san’s efforts and some extenuating circumstances.”

His heart thudded in his chest.  “…Hai.”  Haru swallowed, steeling himself—

“We’ve been able to arrange for a swap.  You’ll go to Granada; Momotarou-kun will come here.”

He almost didn’t hear anything past _you’ll go to Granada_.  Haru’s breath caught, the shock of it flooding him.  _Because earlier, you said—_

“I want to stress that this is atypical and largely involves factors that are…outside your request.”  Fujino smiled wearily, glancing at Tsuchiya.  “In case anyone asks.”

“It won’t be a problem,” she said.  “Nanase-kun, your transportation arrangements, as well as Momotarou-kun’s, will be covered by the company.  You’ll be giving up your day off to travel, but I trust this won’t be an issue.  I also assume you’ll be fine with off-hour travel, should that be needed.”

“ _Hai_.”  Haru nodded quickly.

“I’ll have the specifics for you tomorrow, but you can expect to leave late Sunday night or early Monday morning.”

 _Sunday night…Monday morning…_   He almost felt dizzy.  That was just over _two days_ from now.  _Rin—_

Tsuchiya folded her arms.  “Now, I heard rumors about your performance suffering initially in Barcelona, prior to Matsuoka-kun’s arrival.  I assume you’ll be able to focus for the next two days.  Not that I’m making this contingent on gold medals, but I expect comparable times or better.  Or we’ll be having a conversation.”

And Haru didn’t want to find out what that meant.  He bowed deeply.  “I understand.  Thank you, Tsuchiya-san.”

Fujino exhaled.  “Nanase-kun, the next time you want to request sweeping changes to your training plans, please do so when you _get_ your itinerary.  It’s much easier then.”

His breath caught as he straightened.  “You mean…I could’ve asked—”

“You could have _asked_ for anything.  I’m not saying you would’ve gotten it, but we would have accommodated what we could.”

 _Damnit, I didn’t even think to…_   Haru felt sheepish.  _Because I don’t question things.  I don’t ask…_  

“I still request that you keep this to yourself, Nanase-kun.  I’ll inform the others as necessary.  Captain Ikehara and Mikoshiba-kun are aware.”

Haru inhaled.  “And Rin?”

Fujino’s expression softened.  “You can discuss this with Matsuoka-kun as needed.  I believe Maekawa-san has spoken to him in context, but it’s fine for you to share details with him.”  He lifted a brow.  “Sorry if you were hoping to break the news yourself…”

Haru shook his head.  The thought hadn’t even occurred to him; it didn’t matter.  The only thing that mattered was that he and Rin could be together, swim together—

Tsuchiya loosened her arms.  “Nanase-kun, I’ll be in touch about potential…promotional material.  But it’ll be a week or so before I have anything for you on that.”  She smiled.  “That part I do have to run through the department before we have a proposal and a schedule.”

He dipped his head.  “Hai.”

“Anything else, Tsuchiya-san?”  Fujino asked.

“No, I believe that’s all for now.”

“You can head back then, Nanase-kun.  I’ll see you at dinner.”

Haru bowed low.  “Thank you, Coach Fujino, Tsuchiya-san.”  And all he could think about was wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist and burying his face in Rin’s hair.  Haru’s eyes filled with liquid.  “Thank you—”

-x-

He walked back to the locker room in a daze.  It almost didn’t feel real.  This morning it had only been a wish—an impossibility.  Now—all of a sudden—it was happening.  In just over two days—

At the door to the locker room, he almost ran into Ikehara, who was headed out—

The captain smiled at him.  “I'm proud of you, Nanase-kun.  For giving it a shot.  Things won’t always work out the way you want them to, but I’m glad this one did.”

“Me too.”  Haru blinked back the moisture in his eyes.  “Captain Ikehara—thank you.  I wouldn’t have—”

Ikehara squeezed his shoulder and slipped by.  “I’m pretty sure I heard your cell phone buzzing in your locker.”

Haru’s eyes flew wide.  _Rin_.  He hurried inside—

His cell phone had five missed calls.  Not Skype calls—real, no-kidding roaming-charged actual phone calls.  Haru yanked his clothes on, stuffed everything else into his gear bag, and headed out into the hallway.  Before he could even attempt to log on to wireless, the phone rang in his hand.

Haru answered, lifting the phone to his ear.  “Rin—”

“ _HARU, WHAT THE FUCK?!_ ”  And then Rin was crying—ugly crying, by the sound of it.  “ _How did you—?  Haru_ … _what_ …”

He leaned against the wall, heat circling his throat.  “I…asked.”

_“You…you fucking asked…  But you never…”_

“I know.  I wasn’t going to but…Captain Ikehara said I should at least try…”  Haru gripped the phone.  “It was almost ‘no,’ Rin.  It was so close to being ‘no.’”

Rin continued to sob on the other end of the phone, barely getting any words out.  _“Did you…  …did you know…?  How…how much…”_   He sniffed hard.  _“…How much I need you right now.  Haru…”_   His voice broke softly.

Haru’s eyes welled with tears that spilled, unhindered, down his cheeks.  “Yeah.  I didn’t tell them that was why…but yeah.  I knew.”

Rin cried harder, his breath coming in irregular hitches and labored sounds.

Haru closed his eyes and brushed at his face with shaking fingers.  “Rin, in less than three days…” 

“ _Haru—”_

* * *

Saturday, July 2nd, 2016

* * *

_“Nanase-senpai!  Good luck today!”_

Haru groaned and rolled over, coming face-to-face with the tablet Mikoshiba held.  On it, Momo was sitting up in bed in Granada—in his sea otter pajamas—and grinning.  Rin was behind him in the other bed—awake but just barely by the looks of it.  He was still lying down, curled up around the dolphin plush and propped up on an elbow.  The look on his face was clearly… _I’m not gonna miss mornings with this kid._

“Hahaa!  Good job, Momotarou.  That did the trick.”  Mikoshiba was sitting up on his bed, cross-legged.  By some miracle, the guy was already dressed in his Team Japan T-shirt and warmup pants.

 _I’m not gonna miss waking up like this either._   Haru stifled a yawn, the shark plush tucked in his arms.  “Thanks, Momo-kun.  …What time is it?”

“ _It’s five-thirty!_ ” Momo said, beaming.

“Nn.”  Haru shoved his face into the pillow.  “Mikoshiba—”  Warm ups didn’t even start until 8am…

“I know.  Sorry.”  The guy grinned.  “But he really wanted to say hi this morning.  He’s excited about Monday.”  Mikoshiba got up, taking the tablet with him.  “Momotarou, let’s take this outside.”

“ _Hehe.  OK!_ ”

He left the room and Haru turned over, reaching for the laptop on the nightstand without getting up.  Within minutes, he was logged on…

“ _Sorry_.”  Rin yawned on the screen, still nestled under the covers.  “ _I wasn’t awake enough to realize what was happening_.”

“It’s OK.”  Haru adjusted the screen tilt, just the sight of Rin’s face making the morning sweeter.  _Waking up to you is never going to be a bad thing._   His fingers trailed across the screen, along the curve of Rin’s cheek and jaw before he dropped his hand back to the sheets.  “Did you get some sleep?”

Rin’s eyes warmed.  “ _Yeah.  Last night was a little better_.”

Haru smiled.  “I’m glad.”  His eyelids still felt heavy…  Haru gave in, letting them fall.  “Rin…I’m going back to sleep.”

“ _Me too_.”

“Wake me up at six-thirty.”

“ _OK_.”  Rin’s voice softened.  “ _Haru…love you_.”

“Mm.”  Haru snuggled in, tightening his arms around the shark plush.  “Love you too.”

-x-

Haru dreamt he was floating in a pool full of _sakura_ blossoms with Rin in his arms.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, Rei was explaining in a lot of unnecessarily complex words why Physics said this was impossible…but in the dream world it worked just fine—lying on his back with Rin resting against his chest, their arms wrapped around each other.

“ _Haru_ …”

“Hm.”  He threaded his fingers through damp strands of Rin’s hair, utterly content.

“ _You should wake up_.”  Rin lifted his head, looking up at him.  Glistening water droplets and _sakura_ petals clung to his hair.

“Nn.  Don’t want to.”

“… _If you don’t get up, you can’t go to the pool_.”

“I’m already in the pool, Rin.”

“ _In your head, huh?_ ”

“Yeah.  It’s nice.  You’re here with me.”

Rin smiled at him.  “ _Swimming together?_ ”

“Nn.  Just floating.”  Haru tightened his arms.  “You’re relaxed.”

Rin made a soft sound of amusement.  “ _Well, I am relaxed_ …”

“So let’s stay here, all day.  Just like this.”

“ _Mm_.”  Rin’s eyes glittered.  “ _As much as I’d like to_ …”  His smile turned sly.  “ _We can do this two ways, Haru.  Either you wake up…or I’ll wake you up_ —”  He shifted, a kiss grazing Haru’s skin—

Haru’s eyes flew open, his lips parted in a gasp.  His pulse was running fast as he twisted in the sheets, facing Rin on the laptop screen.  Rin was lying on his stomach with his head cradled on folded arms.  Just the upper half of his face was visible and Rin’s bedroom eyes were the sexiest thing Haru had ever seen—

He exhaled.  “I didn’t dream you said that to me, just now.”

Rin chuckled.  “ _Nope_.”  He turned onto his side, using his folded arm for a pillow.  “ _Good dream?_ ” he asked, cocking a brow.

“Really good.”  Haru lowered his voice.  “And it was getting better.”

Rin’s smile was playful, his gaze alight with pleasure.  “ _It’s six-thirty_.”

Haru sighed.  “Yeah, I figured.”  He ran a hand through his hair and reluctantly sat up.  “You’ve got practice?”

_“Seven-thirty.  So we can be done in time to watch the heats.”_

Haru nodded.  He climbed out of bed, moving the laptop to the desk as he stripped off Rin’s shark T-shirt and reached into his suitcase.  He pulled out a dark gray Team Japan T-shirt and his jammers, setting both articles on the bed.  He paused to check the tilt on his webcam before slipping out of his underwear.  Rin would yell at him if he got naked on the internet.

_“Nice tan line, Haru.”_

He tossed Rin a smirk as he worked his Team Japan jammers up his thighs.  “Forty-seven seventy-five, right?”  Rin’s national record time in the 100m free from Rome.

Rin sat up in his tank top and sleep pants, the video shifting as he adjusted his tablet.  The stuffed dolphin ended up in his lap.  _“Yeah.  Feeling good about it?”_

Haru shrugged, continuing to manipulate the thin, delicate fabric.  “Sure.”

Rin snorted.  _“‘Sure,’ he says.”_

He finally got the suit up around his hips and secured the cord tie.  Haru braced one hand on the desk, leaning over the laptop.  “I’m feeling pretty good, Rin.  But the day after tomorrow will be even better.”

Rin smiled, his eyes soft with veiled emotion.  _“You, um…”_   He cleared his throat, pink dusting his cheekbones.  _“You’ll find out travel plans today?”_

“Yeah.  I’ll text you as soon as I know.”

 _“OK.”_   In the depth of Rin’s eyes, Haru caught a glimpse of quiet anticipation and vulnerability.  Some of it he’d seen before…but some of it was new—things that Rin was showing him, sharing with him, for the first time.

The intimacy was precious to him, but it hurt, too—knowing there was rawness and pain behind that look.  They had a lot to catch up on.  “Rin…”  Haru inhaled.  “On Monday…”

Rin’s gaze warmed.  _“Yeah, Monday…”_

The tender look between them lasted for long seconds…until a door opened on Rin’s side.

_“Rin-senpai!”_

They smiled at each other with a chagrined, knowing look. 

Rin pushed a hand through his hair.  _“Show me something good today, Haru.”_

“Yeah,” Haru said.  “I will.”

-x-

The skies over the _Stade Aquatique de Vichy Val d’Allier_ were pale blue, threaded with clouds.  It was a cooler day, Haru and his teammates wearing their full warmups to ward off any potential chill.  The grounds were buzzing with activity, spectators already crowding the tents and kiosks of the _Village Grand Public_ as well as starting to filter in and out of the stands.  The 50m pool was packed with swimmers warming up; Ozawa was leading off in lane three.  Up on the block in his jammers, Haru made the final adjustments to his cap and goggles.  When it was his turn, he slipped into the water’s embrace and spiraled leisurely to the surface, content.  The water felt better today than it had in weeks.

Heats started at 10am and progressed at a steady pace, Team Japan having an entrant in nearly every event.  There were competitors from over thirty nations, delegations from countries in Europe, Africa, Asia, and the Americas (though no one from the United States with the US Olympic Trials still underway).  The French Olympic team had a commanding presence.  In the 100m free, Haru would be swimming against four of the six members of the French gold medal 4x100m freestyle relay team from London 2012, not to mention the guy whose likeness graced the _Open de France_ banners—his top-seed time was _sub-_ 47.

While Konishi jumped into the pool for her heat of the women’s 200m backstroke, Haru was on the edge of the call area, watching the screen with an earbud tucked into his ear and his phone in the pocket of his warmup jacket.

“ _It’s a tough lineup_ ,” Rin said.

“I guess.”

“ _Tch, Haru_.”  He could hear the smile in Rin’s voice.  “ _You’re about to swim with all of these Olympic legends and that’s what you got, huh?_ ”

“I’m not racing them, Rin.  I’m racing you.”

Rin’s breath hitched.  “ _Damnit, Haru_.”

He smiled.

After a beat, Rin exhaled.  “ _So?  I’m sure Coach Fujino told you to save it for the final_ …”

Haru shrugged.  “I’ll just do it now.”

“ _You fucking show off_.”

Amusement warmed him.  _I love you too, Rin._

Haru’s Phoenix time gave him second seed in the race—fourth lane in the ninth heat (of ten).  Stripped down to his Team Japan jammers, he walked out in line with his competitors and adjusted the block for his feet.  The announcer called the heat in French over the sound of cheering from the stands.  Haru had one of the French gold medalists on his left in lane five and a swimmer from Belgium on his right in lane three.

“Nanase-kun!”  “Haruka!!”  His teammates—all of whom were done with their races for the morning—cheered and waved from the rail with their coaches nearby.  Division Head Tsuchiya was watching as well—expecting a good performance, just like his teammates, the reporters and fans, and everyone back home…  The pressure of it all should’ve been weighing on his shoulders, but Haru felt relaxed and at peace.

Under the midday sun, he climbed onto the block at the long whistle.  As he reached down and grabbed the block, he thought of Rin—the way their eyes would lock in adjacent lanes, just before the start of the race.  Rin would be grinning, eager—

Haru smiled.  He tensed for the start and leapt forward at the buzzer—  The cool water enveloped him, sliding against his skin as he dolphin-kicked, propelling himself forward.  There was no resistance, the water letting him glide through and surface.  As he raced Rin in his mind, the bubbles running along his cupped hands with each pull of free were like streams of _sakura_ petals caught in a current, stirring around them—

The race was over before he wanted it to end, his imagination fading beneath loud cheering and the solid wall against his palms.  Haru clung to the side as he tugged his goggles down to his throat and turned for the board—

_1 – LN4 – 47.71_

A radiant warmth spread through his chest as he caught his breath.  He was happy.  The only thing missing was Rin’s post-race hug…but—the day after tomorrow— _we owe each other a lot of hugs, Rin._

-x-

“Nanase-kun.”  Tsuchiya was waiting for him in the glass-walled lobby after he exited the locker room with his gear bag.  She wore cropped pants and a sleeveless floral blouse, her hair still secured by a stylus.  She smiled, handing him a folded sheet of paper.  “Nicely done.”

“Thank you.”  He accepted the paper with two hands and a dip of his head, unfolding it reverently while his heart sped up in his chest.  His new itinerary was spelled out in printed characters in black ink.

“You’ll need to pack and check out of the hotel between the heats and finals tomorrow.  The car will leave from here, as soon as events are over tomorrow night, to get to Lyon.”

The anticipation rose, hot and thick, in his throat and Haru nodded.

“It’s the red-eye flight, but you’ll be in Granada first thing Monday morning.  In addition to being the most cost-effective option, it has the benefit of being the absolute soonest I can get you there.”

Haru clutched the paper tightly and bowed low.  “Thank you very much, Tsuchiya-san.”

“You’re welcome, Nanase-kun.”  She lifted a brow.  “Don’t be slacking off in the meantime.”

“ _Hai_ ,” he said, his heart thrilling inside him—

* * *

Sunday, July 3rd, 2016

* * *

Haru’s final event of the competition was the 50m free.  In a cloudless sky, the sun slowly sank towards the western horizon as he peeled off his warmups behind the block for lane three.  He smoothed a wrinkle from his swim cap, ensuring the strap of his goggles was secure underneath.  This was it—one last race before he could see Rin again.  This morning, he’d done 21.72 on one breath to make third seed.  He had a silver medal after yesterday’s 100m free and a gold from the 200m free just over an hour ago.  Now, he was flanked by members of the French Olympic team with one more national record to chase—Rin’s 21.55 from Rome.

“ _Just…don’t do anything stupid, Haru_.”  Rin’s voice—tight and anxious—echoed in his head.  The closer it got to tonight, the more nervous Rin seemed on the phone.

 _I won’t, Rin.  Like I promised._   If he needed that one breath, he’d take it.  After his earlier races, he could risk Tsuchiya’s wrath if he had to. 

The swimmers were introduced in French by the announcer; the four-pulse whistle followed.  Haru stepped up to the block with the sun at his back and the breeze sweeping in from his left, rippling gently across the water’s surface.  Fifty meters now…one thousand kilometers tonight.  He’d be in Sierra Nevada before the sun came up tomorrow.

At the long whistle, Haru climbed up and set his feet.  He breathed like he practiced—the way Rin first taught him months ago.  Haru ignored the competitors to either side of him, the spectators and cheering, even the time he wanted to beat.  He kept his thoughts calm and focused…  Rin was watching and probably still worrying.  Worrying that he’d overdo it, that he’d pull something or jam a finger going for the wall.  Rin would never be as much of a mother hen as Makoto, but...  Haru smiled to himself.

“ _Take your marks.”_

Haru stilled for the start, listening as the stadium fell quiet…  When the buzzer sounded, he sprung forward—  The water felt smooth as silk, but it wasn’t as good as being in Rin’s arms.  Haru powered through fifty meters like he could swim to Spain…then his hand was against the wall and he was drawing rapid breaths of cool air.

The French swimmer in lane four pumped a fist skyward to the excited voice of the announcer and deafening cheering.  Haru spared one glance at the board before he climbed out; his silver medal time was 21.55.  Tying Rin’s record was better than beating it and Haru felt light and free…  In less than ten hours, he and Rin would be together again.  He’d be on his way as soon as the award ceremonies were finished.

Haru grabbed his things from the bin, not bothering to get dressed. 

“Nanase-kun, congrats!”  Ozawa hugged him briefly, on her way out to the blocks for the A-Final of the women’s 200m breaststroke.

“Thank you.  Good luck, Ozawa-senpai.”

“Thanks!”  She grinned at him.

From the call area, Mikoshiba gave him a thumbs-up.  The A-Final for the men’s 200m backstroke would follow Ozawa’s race. 

Haru waved back and headed inside.  He did an abbreviated cooldown in the 25m pool, then hit the showers.  For the sake of the podium, he had to dress in his Team Japan warmups, but underneath he donned fresh underwear and a T-shirt for traveling.  It would’ve been easier to place fourth and skip the podium entirely, but that would certainly have earned him the ‘conversation’ Division Head Tsuchiya threatened on Friday.

Haru made it out in time for the end of Mikoshiba’s race, watching from the side as the guy finished in first place at the end of two hundred meters.  Mikoshiba popped up with a broad grin.  He climbed out of the pool and posed for pictures in his Team Japan speedo.

“Seijuurou!!”  Takara had one hand cupped around her mouth as she yelled from the railing of the stands.  She had her phone out, undoubtedly snapping more ‘reference’ photos for Gou…  Unless Gou had let it slip, Rin still didn’t know about that.

Haru slipped earbuds into his ears and pulled out his phone, switching over to Skype…

“ _Nanase-senpai!  Good race!_ ”  Momo’s face filled the screen.

“ _Oi!  Momo, give me that—_ ”

“Thanks, Momo,” Haru said.

“ _Hehee_.”  Momo grinned and handed off the phone.  He withdrew to the background, though Haru could still hear him yelling at the TV as he bounced around in a neon-yellow T-shirt and white shorts.  “ _Nii-chan!!_ ”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin was rolling his eyes as he came onscreen in Haru’s dolphin T-shirt.  He pushed a hand through his hair, looking marginally less tense than earlier.  “ _Haru_.”  He managed a smile.  “ _A tie, huh?_ ”

“I like it this way.”

Rin sighed.  “ _Of course you do_.”

Haru smiled.  “Rin, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Rin’s face clouded.  “ _Haru, text me when you get to the airport_.”

“It’ll be late—”

“ _Like I fucking care_.”  Rin frowned.  “ _You have to text me when you land, too_.”

“Rin…”  Haru exhaled.  “You should just go to bed and I’ll be there when you wake up.”

Rin didn’t answer, his lips thinning into a line.  His eyes were bright with worry.  “ _Haru_ —”

“OK.”  Telling Rin it would be fine was a waste of words—he’d worry anyway.  “At least try.  You’ve got practice tomorrow.”

“ _Yeah, I know.  I’ll try_.”  Rin’s face softened.  “ _I just_ …”

What Rin felt in anxiety, Haru felt in anticipation, but he understood.  _You’re just scared.  It’s OK, Rin.  I get it._ After all this time apart, to be this close to being together again…  _It’s why I could barely swim in Barcelona._

The announcer’s voice came over the speakers, introducing the swimmers for the last race of the competition—the women’s 100m free A-Final.

The cheering started up again and Haru pressed his earbud so he could still hear.  “See you soon, Rin.  I love you.”

Rin breathed out through his teeth, obviously tense.  “ _I love you too.  Text me_.”

“I will.”  He paused.  “Hey, put Momo back on for a minute.”

Rin lifted a brow, but leaned away from the screen.  “ _Oi, Momo_ —”

Momo bounded over.  “ _Hai!  Nanase-senpai?_ ”

“Take care of him tonight, OK?”

Rin blushed.

“ _Hai!_ ”  Momo beamed. 

“Thanks, Momo.”

“ _See you in the morning, Nanase-senpai!_ ”

Haru waved at them both, holding Rin’s gaze for another few seconds before he ended the call.

A swimmer from the Netherlands took gold in the final race.  The medal ceremonies were directly afterwards.  Haru stepped onto the podium, getting his silver medal for the 50m free and waving for the camera, all the while counting down the minutes in his head—

As soon as the awards were over, he headed back to the locker room.  He traded his warmups for pants and a light jacket, gathering all of his things plus his suitcase from storage at the registration desk.

Tsuchiya was waiting for him in the glass-walled entryway, glancing at the watch on her wrist.  “Ready, Nanase-kun?  The car is waiting.”  She wore dark trousers and a cream-colored sweater.

The expectancy was warm in his chest.  “Hai.”  Haru followed her outside.

His coaches and teammates were gathered by the curb where the car was parked.

Takara tackled him the second he joined them.  “Haruka!”  She kissed his cheek.  “Safe travels!  Tell your boyfriend ‘hi’ for me.”

Haru met her gaze, smiling faintly.  “I will.”

Threading through the well-wishes of his teammates, he made it to the curb and loaded his suitcase and gear bag into the trunk.  Then everyone was waving, their voices overlapping—  “See you in Brazil, Nanase-kun!”  “Safe trip!”  “Train hard!”  “See you in a couple weeks!” 

Haru paused next to the open car door, his eyes moistening as he took in the faces and smiles.  Coach Fujino and Coach Akagi…Captain Ikehara…Ozawa and Konishi…Nakagawa…Mikoshiba and Takara…  Three months ago, they were merely teammates to him, but now…after so much time swimming together and traveling together…  There was a lump in his throat as he waved and got in the car.  _It’ll be good when we’re all in S_ _ão Paulo._

Tsuchiya had her Blackberry in hand; she glanced over as he strapped in.  “Ready?”

Haru nodded.

She smiled, leaning towards the driver.  “ _L'aéroport de Lyon-Saint Exupéry, s'il vous plaît._ ”

“ _Oui madame_.”

The car moved smoothly away from the curb, Haru waving one last time through the tinted windows.  They turned onto the _Route de Gannat_ , the stadium passing out of view behind a gentle slope.  Haru sat back against the seat, exhaling slowly. 

“You’re going to have to book it through check-in and security, Nanase-kun,” Tsuchiya said. 

“Hai.”  He knew timing would be tight.  In the interior pocket of his jacket, he had his itinerary, passport, and boarding pass all set to go. 

For now, though, there was nothing to do but watch the sunset gild the clouds with scarlet hues—the same color as Rin’s eyes.

-x-

It was dark by the time they pulled up to terminal 1.  The car weaved through traffic and buses, pulling up to the curb. 

“ _Merci beaucoup_ ,” Haru said, stepping out into the cool night and collecting his luggage from the trunk.

Tsuchiya spoke briefly with the driver in French before joining him.  “Got everything?”

Haru dipped his head.  “Yes.”

They went inside.  It was a quiet relief—having Tsuchiya’s help for check-in and navigating the terminal.  He could’ve muddled through it on his own but this was faster and it kept his travel fears at bay.  She took him as far as the security checkpoint.

“Gate D-16,” she said.  “Funai-san will be waiting for you at baggage claim in Málaga.  He’ll take you to Sierra Nevada before coming back with Momotarou-kun.  If you need anything, his number and my number are on your itinerary.”

Haru nodded, one hand clutched around the strap of his gear bag.  “Thank you, Tsuchiya-san.”  He bowed low.  “For everything.”

“You’re very welcome.”  She stifled a yawn, smiling.  “Safe travels, Nanase-kun.  I’ll be in touch.”

“Hai.”

In the line for security, Haru took out his phone.  _[At the airport.]_

Rin’s response was immediate.  _[At the gate?]_

_[No, security.]_

_[Cutting it close, aren’t you?]_

_[There’s enough time, Rin.  Stop being fussy and go to sleep.]_

_[I’m not fucking being fussy!]_

Haru smiled to himself.  _[You’re in bed at least?]_

_[Yeah.]_

He liked the thought of Rin tucked beneath the covers, sleeping peacefully...  _[Remember napping together back at the NTC?  I’d slip into bed with you and half the time you wouldn’t even wake up.  You just snuggled into my arms…]_

There was a pause.  He imagined Rin curled up on his side with the dolphin tucked against his chest, his face lit by the glow of his phone in the darkened room. 

_[Damnit, Haru.  I know what you’re trying to do.]_

_You need sleep, Rin.  [Is it working?]_

_[Just get here safely.]_

_[OK.]_   Haru sighed, tucking his phone into the outer pocket of his gear bag.

-x-

His plane was starting to board when he got through security, but he made it to the gate in time.  For two hours, Haru sat in a cramped middle seat and watched out the window as clusters of lights passed beneath them on the ground.  He missed the stuffed shark that was packed in his checked luggage, but the bracelet on his wrist was a comfort against his skin and beneath his fingertips.  Exhaustion weighed on him heavily, but he couldn’t really sleep.  Every few minutes he would snap awake from splintered dreams, thinking they were landing or that he was already in the car on the way to Sierra Nevada…or that he’d missed boarding his flight and was still on the ground in Lyon.  Each time, the plane was merely cruising and the engines were roaring in his ears.  Flying was fine; being stuck somewhere—alone—where he couldn’t effectively communicate and couldn’t find his way…  That fear was still present—less now but not wholly conquered yet.  There was still a whisper of it somewhere inside of him, waiting in the dark.  Maybe that was part of the reason Rin worried.  _I’m fine so long as nothing happens, but…_

The Mediterranean was obsidian glass as the plane banked to the right, making a smooth arc over the water on approach before heading in towards the runway.  The touchdown was soft, followed by a firm deceleration as the aircraft slowed to taxi speeds.  Haru reached into his pocket, taking his phone out of airplane mode. 

 _[Just landed in M_ _álaga.]_   He rubbed his eyes, tired and stiff from sitting in place for so long.

The phone buzzed in his hand.  _[Your flight is three minutes late.]_

_[Were those the longest three minutes of your life?]_

_[Don’t tease me, you ass.]_

Haru smiled.

_[…Yes.]_

-x-

The sponsor rep was waiting for him at baggage claim, just as Tsuchiya said.  The guy wore slacks and a buttoned-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and held a small, handwritten sign with Haru’s name on it.  He looked appropriately tired for it being the middle of the night.  “Nanase-kun, how was your flight?”

“It was fine.  Sorry for the trouble.”

The guy shrugged.  “It’s my job.  Your luggage?”

Haru glanced over as the carousel started up.  “I still need to get it.”  His suitcase was one of the first bags offloaded and they headed outside into a warm, humid night as the sponsor rep called for the car.  Haru drew a deep breath of the sea-salt air, reminded of Barcelona…  The anticipation stirred fresh inside him, the fatigue falling away.  _Two more hours, Rin._

Málaga glowed beneath a cloudless night sky as they drove—headed north through the city and then into the mountains.  The terrain was featureless and dark but the stars above Andalusia were brilliant—shimmering against blue swaths of Milky Way.  Haru hugged his gear bag to his chest, wishing his camera wasn’t in his suitcase in the trunk…not that he’d be willing to stop the car for a picture.  _But if you’re not sleeping, Rin, maybe this is a sight you’re seeing too._

The highway gradually turned east.  The route took them along the southern edge of the city of Granada before ascending into Sierra Nevada, the road curving back and forth as it climbed in elevation.  It was nearing 5:30am, the eastern horizon barely starting to lighten…

The sponsor rep took out his phone, lifting it to his ear—  “…Maekawa-sensei?  It’s Funai.  My apologies for waking you.  Nanase-kun and I are about ten minutes out…”

Haru drew a breath, his heart starting to pound as he sat back against the seat. 

“…If you could…  Hai.  …Yes, thank you.  We will.”

Haru tightened his arms around his bag, peering into the darkness and straining for glimpses of civilization…

The glow in the east brightened to individual lights and the car turned left, proceeding higher up the mountain.  Dark tree shapes lined the road to either side as they switch-backed and continued to climb…

Then, there was a series of lights too uniform and similar to be houses or other small buildings.  The facility appeared and disappeared from view behind terrain, until they came to one final sharp turn, away from the ski lodges and the rest of the village.  The road narrowed, sweeping out and back towards the row of lights that lined the exterior of an Olympic-sized track.

Haru forgot how to breathe as the car slowed, ascending a gentle slope alongside a low building with two levels.  In a pool of light near the entrance, there were two figures silhouetted on broad steps—

His eyes moistened.  There was no mistaking Rin, the way the breeze rustled through his hair and toyed with the hem of his sweatshirt.  The weeks since Barcelona felt like forever—

The car pulled left against the curb.  Haru inhaled deeply and opened his door, getting out on the opposite side.

“Nanase-senpai!”  Momo bounded down the front steps, dressed in street clothes and carrying a neon yellow backpack.

Rin followed at a sedate pace as he maneuvered Momo’s suitcase.  Haru gripped the edge of the car door as their eyes locked—  Rin’s face was drawn with fatigue, the shadows under his eyes prominent against skin made paler by starlight.  Rin drew a tight breath and glanced away, as if that were the only way he could keep it together…

 _Rin._   Haru closed the car door, a familiar ache spreading through his chest.  He gathered his suitcase from the trunk.

“Matsuoka-kun, are we to wait for Maekawa-sensei?” the sponsor rep asked.

Rin shook his head.  “She delegated.”

“Ah.”

“Nanase-senpai!”  Momo tackled him in a hug.

Haru grunted, barely remaining upright.  “Momo-kun…”

The kid’s eyes danced with excitement, his grin broad.  “I’m going to see Nii-chan!” 

Haru nodded.  “Safe travels.”

“Thanks!”

The sponsor rep loaded Momo’s suitcase into the trunk.  “We should get going, Momotarou-kun.  So we don’t miss our flight.”

“Hai!”  The kid leapt into the car through the open door.  “Bye, Rin-senpai!  Nanase-senpai!  See you in Brazil!”

Haru joined Rin on the curb; they both waved as the car bearing Momo and the sponsor rep pulled away slowly, U-turned, and gained speed heading down the slope.  There was a gentle flash of brake lights before the car turned the corner and disappeared behind the ridge.

Haru lowered his hand.  The predawn sky lightened by stages and the moon was a sliver close to the horizon.  All was quiet and still except for the breeze that threaded through their hair and clothes.  Holding his breath, Haru turned…

Rin was tense, almost trembling, and his face was taut with the effort of not falling apart—

Haru kept his movements slow and careful as he approached…as he slipped an arm around Rin’s waist and—with his other hand—laid fingers that faintly shook against Rin’s cheek.  Rin’s eyes glistened and moisture splashed against Haru’s fingertips.

With his heart thudding in his chest, he drew Rin in close.  “You didn’t sleep at all, did you?” 

Rin’s face crumpled—

Rin crashed against him, arms circling his shoulders in an embrace so fierce the air left Haru’s lungs in a rush—

“…Not a bit.”  Rin’s voice was a broken whisper.  Warm tears wetted Haru’s hair.

 _Rin—_ Haru closed his eyes, heat welling up beneath his eyelids.  He hugged Rin back, grasping fistfuls of Rin’s sweatshirt.

When—at length—they drew back far enough to let their mouths meet, the kiss was damp with traces of salt and _perfect_.  Haru tangled fingers into Rin’s hair, unwilling to let go even for air—

Until Rin pushed at him with a snort.  “Haru, I can’t—”

“ _Nn_ —”  His protest came out sharper than he intended; Rin met his gaze—

They both laughed, smiling through their tears and holding each other in the waning starlight…

“Rin,” Haru whispered, leaning his forehead against Rin’s.  “I’m _home_.”

Rin’s arms tightened, his voice faltering.  “ _Haru—_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Transliteration and translation of Mongol800’s Chiisana Koi no Uta by Wisamu on animelyrics.com.   
> [Full lyrics](http://www.animelyrics.com/jpop/mongol800/chiisanakoino.htm)  
> Mongol800 [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8EkSB9zSpE)
> 
> [Stade Aquatique de Vichy Val d’Allier - virtual tour](http://www.stade-aquatique-vva.fr/visite-virtuelle/Visite_virtuelle_stade_aquatique_Vichy_Val_d_Allier.html)


	22. Thin air taper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/22/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).

_“Hey, Dad.”_

_“Yeah, Rin?”_

_It was dawn on a rare day off and they were down by the shore at low tide.  Ribbons of seaweed lay tangled on the sand and the gulls were picking up clams to drop against the rocks._

_Rin balanced on a boulder, watching tiny black crabs scuttle through stirring foam in a small tide pool.  “Sousuke says some swimmers don’t breathe at all in the fifty free.  Can you do that?”_

_His dad’s shadow fell over him, a warm hand ruffling his hair fondly.  “I was never that good.”_

_“But some people can do it, huh?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_Rin kicked a loose rock into the water, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt as a crisp wind blew by.  “Sousuke says he can do twenty-five without breathing.”_

_Rin’s dad chuckled.  “You’ll get there, Rin.  Twenty-five’s not too bad.  You can already do the full fifteen underwater for the start.”_

_A larger wave crashed, sending a rush of sparkling water up the sand.  The wave parted around the boulder where they stood, tiny flecks of sea spray darkening the hem of Rin’s pants._

_He frowned.  “Coach says if you wait to breathe until you need to, it’s too late.”_

_“He’s right.  Your muscles can only do so much without oxygen.  When you get too far into a deficit, you can’t recover on just one breath.”_

_Rin tucked hair behind his ear, looking out at the ocean, at clouds that glowed gold and soft orange with the sunrise.  “So, if I wanna do the fifty like that, I have to wait until I don’t need to breathe.”_

_“Well, it’s a race, too.  Everyone pushes themselves to do more and the adrenaline high helps.  It’s a good way to injure yourself if you’re not careful.  You know how it feels, right?  The way your lungs start to burn and everything hurts and you start to panic inside because you need to breathe…  But if there’s only five meters left and there’s a gold medal on the line…”  His father shrugged._

_“That doesn’t sound fun,” Rin said, looking up at his dad.  “It sounds like…drowning or something.”_

_His dad smiled.  “It’s not that bad, Rin.  You can always just turn your head and breathe, you know?”_

_Strong arms scooped Rin up, the air rushing from his lungs as a thrill went through him.  Then he was sitting tall on his father’s shoulders with the wind running through his hair.  His father’s hands were warm around his ankles._

_“It’s just a pool.  Not like the ocean.”  They turned from the water’s edge.  “Wanna head back?  Your mom and Gou are probably up by now.  And hungry.”_

_Rin smiled.  “OK.  And we can swim together later?”_

_“Sure.”_

* * *

Monday, July 4th, 2016

* * *

 _Please don’t be another dream_.  Rin glanced down at their clasped hands as they headed into the building, beneath the entrance sign reading _Consejo Superior de Deportes, Centro de Alto Rendimiento._   Everything since Friday was a blur and his sleep-deprived mind was paranoid, insisting this couldn’t possibly be happening.  But Haru had a firm grip on his hand and Rin could still taste their kiss on his lips…

He wasn’t dreaming.  It was Monday, with an hour until sunrise, and Haru was _here_.

Their bracelets brushed as they crossed the lobby towards the front desk.  The facility was just starting to wake up for the day. 

The clerk on duty stifled a yawn, tucking a lock of brown hair behind her ear.  “ _Buenos d_ _ías_ ,” she said, looking at a piece of paper behind the counter.  “ _Se_ _ñor Nanase?_ ”

Haru paused.  “ _S_ _í_.”

The woman nodded.  “ _I’ll just need your ID for check-in and your signature on this form_ …”

Rin let go so Haru could take out his passport and complete the required paperwork.  His gaze was drawn to Haru’s face, to the shadows etched beneath Haru’s eyes.  They weren’t as dark as what Rin saw in the mirror these days, _but…_ It floored him again, everything Haru had done— _Haru_ who would sit in the bath for hours if he could and said everything that required effort was troublesome.  _But you did this for me—for us._   Rin pressed his lips, looking away before he lost it.  His sleeve and the shoulder of Haru’s jacket were already damp enough from drying his tears. 

The clerk handed back Haru’s passport, along with a room key.  “ _Here you are_.”

“ _Gracias_.”

Haru had his hand again as they continued to the elevator.  The car arrived, empty.  Inside, Rin hit the button for the fifth floor.  Chrome doors slid closed, glossy like a mirror and their eyes met in the reflection, the two of them standing side-by-side with their fingers interlaced.  The simple pleasure of occupying the same space, breathing the same air, was something he’d never take for granted again.  And _not hugging_ seemed like a ridiculous waste.  Rin turned—

Haru let go of his suitcase, moving close with the same intent on his face.  Their arms wound tight around each other…and Rin relaxed as stubborn remnants of tension faded from his limbs. 

 _I’ll never get enough of this.  Holding you; being in your arms._   With his face pressed into Haru’s hair, Rin drew a deep breath of Haru’s familiar scent and the lingering chlorine.

“Nn.”  Haru drew back slightly.  “I need a shower.”

“You smell incredible,” Rin muttered, meaning every word.

Haru’s eyes went from self-conscious to amused. 

Their lips met for the second time this morning—soft and without the mess of tears.  It was so much better when he wasn’t trying to cry all over himself.  Rin leaned into the kiss—into Haru, the sigh sounding deep in his throat.  Haru’s fingers curled into his waist, beneath his sweatshirt, warm through the thin fabric of his tank top.

A chime interrupted as the elevator slowed and came to a stop on the fifth floor.  Rin reluctantly pulled away as the doors opened, though he kept a grip on Haru’s hand.  The lounge across from the elevators was dimly lit and empty.  Beyond the picture windows, the Sierra Nevada mountains were steel-gray peaks against an indigo sky of fading stars.

Rin led the way, not caring if anyone happened upon them holding hands in the hallway.  Their room was at the end, number 541.

“What time’s your practice?” Haru asked.

“Not until nine.”  Rin fished out his keycard one-handed, slipping it into the lock and opening the door.

Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure, blue like the waves off Bondi Beach in December.  “You’re coming to bed with me?”

Rin tugged him inside.  “You bet your ass I am.”

A tour of the room could wait until daybreak.  In the bathroom just off the entryway, they undressed each other between kisses.  Rin was too tired to start anything and Haru seemed to get that without him having to explain.  _Still_ …even a five-minute shower was too long to be apart.  Together, they stepped beneath the cascade of cool spray, their bodies pressed flush as they traded slow kisses and buried their hands in each other’s hair.  _Every_ touch was significant, a silent rebellion against weeks of screens, texts, pictures, and the ache of separation.  All of that was over. 

The water was on the cold side.  The moment Rin started to shiver, Haru turned off the shower and wrapped him in a towel.

“Bed?” Haru asked.  The circles beneath his eyes didn’t hinder the affection gleaming in his gaze.

Rin’s exhale was ragged—equal parts exhaustion and relief.  All of the adrenaline and anxiety that fueled him through the night was gone now, drained from his limbs.  Very little kept him upright, especially with the promise of Haru’s arms…  “ _Bed_ ,” he murmured, taking down a second towel to drape around Haru’s shoulders.

They dried off in the dark room, in the dim blue light of dawn that seeped around the edges of the curtains.  The beds were on the left, pushed together and flanked by nightstands.  Rin only managed to get an alarm set before Haru drew him down to the sheets.  Their towels lay forgotten on the floor as they curled up beneath the blankets, sharing the same pillow.  Rin should’ve been cold with damp skin and hair, but with Haru’s body pressed against his, he was perfectly warm.

For a moment, Rin just stared at his lover’s face…at Haru’s content, tired eyes, at wet black hair gilded with silvery light, at lips made pink from their kisses and curved into a small, real smile.  Just being with Haru like this melted him; the pain and difficulty of the last few weeks seemed like a distant memory, like a faded bad dream.  Emotion welled up inside him like a tide.  Rin blinked against the sting in his eyes as he laid his palm against Haru’s cheek.  “I love you.”

Haru’s eyes lit and his smile grew.  He kissed the bracelet on Rin’s wrist before leaning in…  Their lips met softly and Haru’s, “I love you too,” was whispered into his ear.  “Sleep well, Rin.”

 _Haru—_   Rin smiled as he closed his eyes, relaxing into Haru’s embrace.  For days, he’d lain awake at night, staring at the ceiling for minutes that piled up into hours…but with Haru, he fell asleep almost instantly.

-x-

The alarm went off way too early.  Rin groaned into the pillow, moving just enough to free an arm so he could silence the damn thing on the nightstand.  Haru stirred but didn’t wake, an unintelligible murmur falling from his lips.  His breaths were shallow and regular against Rin’s throat and Haru’s arm lay across his torso, warm against his skin.

 _Fuck_.  Getting yanked from the best sleep he’d had in weeks just _sucked_.  Rin’s eyes burned from unsated fatigue, his body feeling like he’d played chicken with a freight truck and lost.  So enduring one of Coach Maekawa’s high intensity taper workouts sounded _fantastic_ …

It would only be worse if he were late.  Rin reluctantly extracted himself from Haru’s embrace and got out of bed. 

“Nn…”  Haru frowned in his sleep, rolling over into the spot Rin had vacated.

Rin sighed, pulling the blankets up to Haru’s shoulders and trying not to linger.  The alarm buzzed again—  _Damnit_.  He turned the stupid thing off and grabbed his phone off the nightstand.  The tile floor was cold beneath his bare feet as he stepped over discarded towels and crossed the room to his suitcase.  He pulled on black and red square legs and donned his warmups.  Slipping the strap of his gear bag over his shoulder, he allowed himself one glance at Haru sleeping in his bed, on his pillow…and went out the door.  Any more than that and he’d never leave.

The six-lane, fifty-meter pool was on the first floor of the facility, down the wing that was adjacent to the outdoor track.  In the locker room, Rin took off his warmups and put away his things.  He untied his bracelet, slipping it into the outer pocket of his gear bag.  Closing his locker, he paused with a heavy exhale, avoiding his reflection in the mirror.  _Come on, Matsuoka.  You knew this was gonna be hard.  Get on with it._ Goggles, swim cap, and water bottle in hand, he headed out to the pool. 

Sunlight streamed in through the windows on the left-hand side of the room, running the length of the pool.  The pool deck was pale tile, the ducting and light fixtures overhead painted a soft blue.  There were a handful of other athletes and coaches using the pool, plus techs in the control room, running the underwater cameras in lane one.  Coach Maekawa hadn’t arrived yet.

Lane six was available, against the windows.  Rin stretched his swim cap onto his head and put his goggles on over top.  He cleared his mind as he climbed onto the block—not that he was thinking about much in the first place, just _Haru_ and _sleep_.  A three-hour nap wasn’t nearly enough for this, but whatever.  He dove into the cool water, starting his warm ups at a restrained pace.  Six hundred meters was a battle, but he pushed through, feeling moderately awake by the time he was done, his blood pumping through his veins. 

Rin climbed out for a drink, drawing lungfuls of thin air as he considered the fifty meters of glossy water in his lane and ignored the shouts and instructions in other languages going on around him.  He debated for long seconds, the nerves tensing in the pit of his stomach.  _Fuck.  Pull it together_.  Rin shook himself.  _It’s only one length of the pool—twenty-two seconds.  You can do this._

Setting his water bottle aside, Rin stepped onto the block once more, breathing purposefully—slowly and deeply—as he set his feet for the start.  When the clock on the wall hit twelve, he leapt forward, slicing into the water and propelling himself forward with strong dolphin kicks.  At fifteen meters, he surfaced and kept his head down, counting his strokes of free.  _Three…five…nine…fifteen—_

But it happened at the same spot every time—the rush of black, the roar in his ears, the panic closing in—  The pool was replaced by _a churning sea with deep swells that tossed him until he was dizzy.  There was no surface, just pieces of boat debris suspended in the water around him.  His lungs burned for air that he couldn’t reach, his hands clawed uselessly at the water, and all he could see in his mind—all he could think about—was the family he’d leave behind, the family he’d never see again—_

Rin grabbed the lane line, hooking one arm over top as he coughed and drew shuddering breaths.  _Damnit_.  He raked off his cap and goggles, the fire in his lungs slowly fading. 

“I told you the lay off the fifties.”  Coach Maekawa was standing at the side of the pool in a black T-shirt and warmup pants, her brown hair loose around her shoulders.  Her eyes were hard.

Rin swam to the side of the pool and climbed out.  “Hai.  _Sumimasen._ ”

Her lips flattened into a line as she studied his face.  “How much sleep did you get since yesterday?”

“About three hours.”

Maekawa exhaled, rubbing her face in frustration.  “Matsuoka, we talked about this.  Taper doesn’t work if you don’t _sleep_.  This makes, what, twenty hours in the past week?”

The real number was slightly higher, but he wasn’t about to correct her on the math.  “Hai.”  It was an abysmal total, given a ten-hour curfew _per night_.

“You said you could deal with it; that you didn’t need help.”

“Hai,” Rin said. 

She dropped her hand.  “You’re going back to bed and I’m canceling your session this afternoon.”

Rin tensed, inhaling—

“Don’t even think about arguing with me.  I’m giving you one more day—twenty-four hours—to sort this out.  If you still haven’t slept by this time tomorrow morning, we’re going for a consultation with the onsite physician.”

Rin gripped his cap and goggles, his fingernails biting into his palm.  “That won’t be necessary.”

“I’m glad you’re optimistic.  Just—”  She sighed, her face softening.  “Look in the mirror next time, alright?  If you’re not going to listen to your body like you should, that’s the next clue you’re about to do something stupid.”

His shoulders fell as the weariness and fatigue weighed on him.  “…Hai.”

Maekawa glanced away.  “Does Nanase-kun know about your insomnia?”

Rin pressed his lips.  “Yeah, sort of.”

Her eyes flicked back to him.  “Good.  Less explaining on my part.”  She walked off and Rin’s breath caught—  “Nanase-kun, I’m gonna need you to keep him in bed.  I’m not training him again until he gets some real sleep.”

 _Fuck_.  Rin exhaled roughly and turned.

Haru was halfway across the pool deck in a pair of navy blue square legs and his swim cap.  His expression was cool as he looked at Rin, then back to Coach Maekawa.  “Hai.”

Rin’s face burned.  _Damnit_.  He pushed wet hair from his face, droplets of chlorinated water scattering to the tiled floor.

Maekawa had her arms folded as she peered at Haru’s face.  “I’m guessing you were up most of the night, too?”

“…Hai,” Haru said.

“Did you eat after the competition last night?”

Haru paused, a look of concentration passing through his eyes.  “On the—”

“A handful of peanuts on the plane doesn’t count, Nanase-kun.”

Haru fell silent.

Rin drew a slow breath.  _You didn’t eat?  Since…lunch yesterday?  You idiot, that’s almost a whole day!_

Maekawa propped a hand on her hip, glancing back.  “What am I going to do with you two?  Food and sleep, both of you.  No one gets training or pool time until those two situations are resolved.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  His gaze fell to the pool.

“Are we clear on that?”

“Hai,” Rin said quietly.

“Nanase-kun?”

“…Hai.”

Coach Maekawa sighed and walked away.

They were left staring at each other, though Haru’s eyes flicked to the water.

“Come on,” Rin muttered.  He had to grab Haru’s arm to get him to leave.

In the locker room, Rin dumped his stuff on a bench and headed into the communal shower area.  He turned the water on, not surprised when Haru followed him.  “You were asleep.”

“I woke up when you left.”

Rin rinsed off for two seconds, then killed the water and snatched up his towel.  In the last row of lockers, Haru’s blue combination lock was two lockers down from his red one.  Rin opened his locker, grabbing his gear bag and clothes.

Haru joined him a minute later, toweling off and pulling on his warmup pants.

Rin’s jaw tightened.  “I can’t believe you didn’t _eat_.” 

“I was busy not missing my flight.”

“ _Tch_.  You still should’ve eaten something.”  He slammed his locker closed.  “Isn’t this how you fainted in middle school?”

Haru glanced at him, in question.

“I asked Makoto.”  Rin yanked his pants on.  _Since you never told me._

Haru pursed his lips, looking away as he donned his warm up jacket and smoothed the cuffs.  “You didn’t tell me it was that bad, Rin,” he said, his voice cool.

“She was exaggerating.”  He thrust his arms into the sleeves of his jacket, freeing his wet hair from the collar.

“You _said_ you slept on Friday.”  Haru pulled his bracelet from the outside pocket of his gear bag.

“I _did_ sleep on Friday—”  Rin took out his.

It was really hard to tie bracelets on while glaring at each other.

“Damnit, give me that.”  They traded bracelets, Rin reeling Haru in so he could tie the bracelet around Haru’s right wrist.  He made quick, efficient work of it.  “It’s not too tight?”

“No,” Haru said, holding out his hand expectantly.

Rin offered his left wrist and Haru tied his bracelet into place.

“It’s OK?”

“Yeah.”

They held each other’s gaze for a moment longer…and Rin sighed.

“Sorry,” he murmured.  “I’m just…” _worried about you._

The hardness faded from Haru’s eyes, concern taking over.  “Me too,” he said quietly.

Rin fought a surge of emotion—of guilt and regret—at the look in Haru’s eyes.  The fatigue made it worse.  He glanced away before he lost it.  All he wanted in the world was a bed and Haru’s arms…

“…Does the dining hall do ‘take away?’” Haru asked.

Rin managed a smile.  “Yeah.” 

-x-

The second wakeup was better—comfortable and sweet with the steady _tha-thump_ of Haru’s heartbeat beneath his ear.  Rin could feel his body soaking up the sleep and if he didn’t have to use the bathroom, he would’ve slept a lot longer.  Haru didn’t wake up as Rin got out of bed—at least not completely, his protest limited to dragging fingers and a soft annoyed sound that made Rin smile. 

Rin picked their warmups off the floor as he went, laying each article across their suitcases.  They hadn’t bothered with pajamas, sleeping in their square legs instead.  He wandered into the bathroom—the small space having a separate bidet and toilet, and a walk-in shower with a glass door.  As he washed his hands, Rin chanced the mirror.  His face was starting to get a little color back, though the bruises beneath his eyes were dark as hell.  It would probably take a few days for them to fade.

Rin headed back to bed, covering a jaw-popping yawn.  Before climbing beneath the covers, he paused, lifting a brow at the stuffed dolphin tucked into Haru’s arms.  The toy had been on the nightstand, next to his phone…  _I was only gone for two minutes._  

He slipped into bed, tugging the dolphin from Haru’s arms.  “What are you doing with this?”

“Nn.  Smelled like you,” Haru murmured, not bothering to open his eyes as he slid over and wrapped his arms around Rin instead.  “Mm.  Better.”

 _Haru_.  Rin snuggled in with a weighty sigh and closed his eyes…

-x-

Rin slept until dinner time and woke up smelling… _saba._   He scowled as he rolled over beneath the covers.  _Damnit, Haru, if you’re eating that crap in bed—_

He ended up face-to-face with a shark plush that smelled like Haru.  Rin propped himself up on an elbow, rubbing his eyes.  Haru was sitting up on the second bed, wearing a T-shirt with his square legs.  He had a sketchbook open in his lap.  His pencils were on the nightstand…along with an empty _saba_ can and a pair of chopsticks.

Rin hugged the shark plush to his chest.  “Did you eat that in bed?”

Haru took too long to answer.  “No,” he said.

“ _Tch_.”

Haru went back to his sketching, working by the slivers of light from the edges of the curtains.  Aside from the beds, the remaining furnishings in the room were a desk with a small, flat-screen TV, a two-seat couch, and a matching armchair. 

Rin rested his chin on the shark toy, waiting. 

At length, Haru’s gaze flicked to him.  “What?”

Rin pressed his lips.  “You’re not asking.”

Haru returned his attention to the sketchbook.  “I figured you’d bring it up when you were ready.”

“What if I don’t want to talk about it?”

“Then I guess we won’t talk about it.”

Rin sighed.  He was half-lying.  He curled up facing away, using the shark plush for a pillow.  For a moment, he just listened to the sound of Haru’s pencil working across the page...  “I’ve had trouble sleeping since the storm.” 

The feathered scrapes of the pencil stopped. 

Rin’s eyes burned with embarrassment, his fingers curling into a fist.  He had to force the words out.  “And I haven’t done a breathless fifty since Rome.”

Papers fluttered.  There was a tap and click of pencils…  The mattress dipped behind him as Haru lay down.  “…The elevation?”

Rin shook his head.  “I’m acclimated by now, Haru.”  He swallowed around the lump forming in his throat.  “The stupid nightmare…”

Haru’s breath was soft against the back of his neck.  “Rin…is it OK?”  Fingertips lightly touched his arm.

Rin squeezed his eyes shut, just nodding.

The blankets shifted as Haru slid under the covers with him.  Haru’s body molded to his, draping Rin in warmth from his shoulder blades down to his ankles.  Each movement was careful, precise—as if Haru was afraid he’d bolt if it happened too fast or all at once.  Beneath the blankets, Haru’s right arm slipped across Rin’s torso, the leather of the bracelet brushing his skin.  Haru’s fingers smelled faintly like graphite. 

Rin tensed at first.  He fought to yield, knowing he needed this but—simultaneously—shame surged inside him.  He _hated_ being weak, being broken.  Even though Haru was safe…  Some part of him wanted _desperately_ to run away and hide someplace where no one could see him like this—

…But as the seconds ticked by in silence, it gradually got easier.  An inexplicable sense of calm settled over him, his limbs starting to relax, his breaths evening out…  _I still don’t know how you do that._   Inhaling, Rin clutched Haru’s hand.

Haru laced their fingers together, the simple gesture bypassing the last of his defenses. 

Rin acquiesced, sinking into Haru’s embrace with a rough exhale.  “It hasn’t been this bad since he died.”

“…The insomnia?”

“Yeah.”  He opened his eyes, staring at white sheets and the glow of daylight at the edge of burgundy curtains.

“How did you deal with it?  Back then?”

“One night I just passed out and slept a lot…  I guess my mom got worried when I wouldn’t wake up.  I was in the hospital for a couple of days.”  He frowned at the memory of sterilized needles and the smell of antiseptics.  “The medicine just made me sick, though.”

Haru’s fingers curled tighter into his.  “You never said.”

“My mom and Gou are the only ones who know.  And Sousuke.  Gou probably doesn’t remember.”  Rin snorted.  “I’ve got some kind of timing, huh?  Four weeks until Rio is the perfect time to be remembering all this shit.”

“Better now than a month from now.”

“…I guess.”  Rin rolled onto his back, Haru letting go so he could move.

Haru’s eyes were placid blue when their gazes met, like a sheltered pool that the storms couldn’t touch.  _Those nights when we were kids, just looking into your eyes helped me._ Even now, the nerves lining his spine continued to unfurl.  When Haru’s fingers slipped into his hair, Rin sighed deep in his throat, almost groaning.

“Damnit, Haru, that’s the off-button.”

“Want me to stop?”

“No.”  _Don’t ever stop._   Rin lifted his hand to Haru’s arm, squeezing lightly as he reveled in Haru’s touch.  “…There were a lot of storms the first year I was in Australia.  Wanna know how I got through it?”

“Mm.”  Haru continued the slow caresses through his hair.

His face heated.  “I would hug a pillow and think of you.”

Haru’s breath hitched.

“I mean, Winnie helped too, but…”

Haru’s hand settled against his burning cheek. 

Rin forgot how to breathe as Haru leaned close, his blue eyes alight with affection, their noses almost touching.

“Rin…” Haru whispered, his voice reverent.

Warmth pulsed through Rin’s chest.  His heartrate quickened the instant Haru’s gaze flicked to his mouth. 

“…Can I?” Haru asked, pink dusting the tops of his cheekbones.

Rin turned onto his side, gripping Haru’s arm.  “Yeah—”

Their lips met softly, a tentative brush at first that settled into a firmer kiss.  Rin’s anxious thoughts vanished as they embraced.  _Did you know, Haru?  You’re like air to me.  When I can’t breathe._   _Maybe you never calmed the storms out there or made them go away…but you calmed the storms inside me._   Rin got a handful of Haru’s T-shirt, breaking the kiss long enough for a whisper.  “I love you.”

Haru exhaled hard, his fingers dipping into Rin’s hair.  “I love _you_.”

Their mouths met again, the gentle spark of desire immediate, though it kindled into a slowly burning flame.  Rin pulled Haru closer, tilting his head for better access.  Their lips parted, the trace of _saba_ he tasted on Haru’s tongue was faint and fading.

The quiet sound Haru made in his throat sent shivers of pleasure down Rin’s spine, all the way down to his toes.  The sensation tripled as Haru’s warm palm slid from his hair to his back.  Rin was wholly awake this time, his body responding eagerly to each kiss and touch.  It wasn’t long before his swimsuit grew uncomfortable…

He slipped one leg over Haru’s—needing more contact—as their mouths continued to meld with unhurried plays of tongue.  Haru’s T-shirt was soft against his skin, but annoyingly in the way.  Rin slid his hand beneath, feeling the long, familiar lines of muscle that ran down Haru’s side…only stopping when he reached Haru’s hip.  

Haru broke from his lips, breathless, his eyes full of desire and unbounded love.  “You’re not too tired for this, Rin?”

Rin shook his head, pulling Haru on top.  The brush of hips had them both muffling groans.  “Pretty sure Coach told you to keep me in bed.”

“Now, you want me to be literal?”

“Yeah.”  He ran his hands through Haru’s hair, angling for lips…but paused.  _Damnit_.  “Er, the rule…”

Haru arched a brow, his eyes glittering.  “The Brazil rule?”

 _Oh hell, yes._   Rin’s breath came out ragged; he smiled.  “I really love Spain,” he whispered, just before their mouths met.

Haru’s T-shirt came off first, then they had to work at the square legs—which was a feat while horizontal, but not nearly as hard as it would’ve been in jammers and leg skins.  The skin-on-skin sensations had them both shuddering with pleasure, Haru’s lashes fluttering against his cheek, their breaths thickening as they held each other.

Rin played his lips along Haru’s jaw and down to his neck…the slight hiss Haru made, fingers digging into his shoulders…was the focus of Rin’s favorite daydreams.

Haru’s eyes darkened.  He stole Rin’s breath for another kiss, Rin willingly surrendering to the demands of Haru’s mouth, only to moan at a slow rock of hips.  Haru’s knees were planted between his for leverage; Haru’s hand was warm on his left thigh with the bracelet touching his skin.  It was perfect—maddening—as they found rhythm and a heady _rush_.  Having Haru above him was a view he’d missed, though it had never been like _this_ in the pool.

Fingers gripped his thigh.  “ _Rin…_ ”  The name was a breathless, half-moan against his lips.  Haru’s mouth left his, dropping kisses along Rin’s throat, over his racing pulse. 

 _Haru, fuck_.  Rin groaned, running his fingers through the silk of Haru’s hair.  _You keep saying my name like that and this’ll be over really fast…_  

But when Haru started to slide down the bed, Rin caught his arm, pulling them back face-to-face.  He locked them in place with an ankle hooked around Haru’s calf.

Haru lifted a brow.  “Like this?” he asked, his voice husky as he brushed their hips together again.

“Yeah. _Haru—_ ”  Rin’s voice wavered with the pleasures tracing his body.  He slid his arms down Haru’s back to his hips, encouraging more, pushing gently…

“Nn…”  Haru groaned, his eyes warming.  “OK.”

Their lips melted together, Haru tangling one hand into Rin’s hair…

It was a slow fall back to earth, after, in a tangle of sweat-slicked limbs and the sound of ragged breathing.  Rin felt the exertion keenly as he drew lungfuls of thin air, not that he cared.  His body hummed with pleasure and he was utterly content _._

“…Rin?”  Haru’s breaths were warm against his neck.

“Hm?”

“Anything complicated…it can wait until after Rio, right?”

Rin cocked a brow, amused.  “Complicated, huh?”  But he knew what Haru was getting at. 

“Or…strenuous.  I wouldn’t want you to pull something, just before—”

Rin chuckled.  _Haru, what exactly do you have in mind?_   “ _I’d_ be the one pulling something?”

Haru lifted his head, looking down at him with blue eyes that were sweetly sated…and a hint sly.  “Either of us.”

He smirked.  “Mm.  Yeah, Haru.”  _It’s not like I was able to get that stuff yet, anyways…_

Haru smiled for real.  The kiss that followed was a tender brush of lips and tongue... 

At length, they broke for air.

“Shower?” Haru asked.

He grinned.  “Yeah.”

-x-

They put on actual clothes and headed downstairs just prior to the end of dinner service.  The dining hall was on the second floor of the facility, in the same wing as the rooms.  It was a huge space filled with tables and noise, though the crowds were starting to thin out.  A long bank of windows overlooked the straightaway of the outdoor track down below.  They got in line.

While Haru studied the Spanish-English menu, Rin glanced across the room.  He spotted Otani and Sada at a table by the windows with their teammate Koda—a London Olympian in the men’s backstroke and two hundred IM.  The three were lingering over empty plates with glasses of juice.  Kawamura was a few tables over, chatting with a blond track and field athlete from a different Olympic team.  Rin turned back to the line.  It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hang out with their team, but… 

“Rin.  Wanna eat outside?” 

Rin followed Haru’s gaze to the door that led out to the first-floor roof.

He relaxed.  “Yeah.”

Armed with to-go containers and full water bottles, they ventured out into a mix of sun and clouds, the temperature pleasantly warm.  Rin was comfortable in his tank top and pants with a light sweatshirt.  Haru was dressed similarly, though wearing that bottle T-shirt Rin had first seen on him in Australia.  The bottle that said, “……”  _What the heck was that, anyways?_ Rin liked the shirt.

They made a picnic near the edge of the roof, side-by-side with their food containers in their laps.  A handful of athletes were running or doing hurdles on the track below. 

“You’re not smiling in this picture,” Haru said between bites as they shared their phones between them. 

The photo was the one Otani had taken of him in Rome, at the top of the dome at St. Peter’s Basilica.

“‘Cause I missed you,” Rin said, stabbing a bit of salad with his fork. 

Haru looked back at the screen, flipping through a few more.  “Nn…”  His gaze flattened with annoyance.

Rin glanced over.  It was the Trevi Fountain picture where he was taunting Haru with his hand in the water.  “Also because I missed you.”

Haru glared at him askance. 

Rin smiled, nudging Haru’s arm.  “Eat your food.”  He went through Haru’s pictures backwards from Vichy—mostly selfies with airplanes in the background and photos of various pools.  There weren’t many—probably because Haru had a real camera—but from Flagstaff there were pictures of sunsets over the mountains and photos of Mikoshiba and Takara up to whatever.  _Why are you always posing in your speedo, you ass?_   Rin rolled his eyes, sipping from his water bottle as he continued to flip through—

He stopped on a picture of Haru with a young boy.  Haru was smiling and making a peace sign, his other hand on the kid’s shoulder.  The boy had to be ten…not more than twelve years old, with curly dark hair and a broad grin.

Rin felt it in his stomach—the way his body seized up—and he couldn’t breathe.  Was it because of his nightmare—of Haru and their kids?  Or was it because—somewhere—there had to be pictures like that of him and his dad, just before his dad died…  Rin swallowed with effort, his hand trembling as he set the phone down.  Pictures he’d asked his mom to look for…

“Rin?”  Haru was looking at him, his gaze sharp with concern.

Rin shook his head, trying to keep it together.  “…Tell me about this one.”

Haru relented, though he didn’t answer for several seconds.  When he spoke, his voice was reserved…cautious.  “His name is Luis.  He’s ten.  We swam together in Phoenix.”  Haru paused.  “Luis wants to be an Olympic swimmer when he’s older…”

Rin squeezed his eyes shut, his hands curling into fists in his lap as the emotion welled up and he _knew_ he couldn’t hold it back.  “Haru, I can’t—” 

“You wanna take a walk, Rin?”

His breath came out in a hard puff.  “Yeah, OK.”  He wiped his face with one hand. 

They took care of the remnants of their meal, Rin leading the way up a dirt slope to a network of trails branching off north and east from the complex.  He clutched Haru’s hand, not caring if anyone saw them.  Haru was his lifeline—all that kept him grounded.  He needed somewhere safe—a place where he could fall apart and no one else would see—

After ten minutes of walking, they found a spot off the trail—a bit of grass shaded with evergreen trees that led to a narrow outcrop.  The drop-off faced the mountains across the valley.  Tears ran in rivulets down Rin’s cheeks and dripped from his chin.  He made no effort to dry them.  There were so many, it would’ve been a futile endeavor.  Instead, he stood there frozen with the wind rustling his clothes and hair, missing his dad and longing for a future that frightened him as much as he wanted it…

Then Haru’s arms were around his waist and Haru’s cheek was warm against the back of Rin’s neck.  Haru didn’t say a word—didn’t prompt or ask—he was just _there_ and it was everything Rin needed.

He covered Haru’s arms with his own, his hands gripping Haru’s with their fingers laced together.  It was still hard to get the words out, but he wanted to.  He _had_ to—  “We…we used to swim together.  Me and my dad.”  Rin’s eyes burned, his vision blurred with tears.  “Fifties, hundreds, two hundreds…  Fly and free, relay too…  I tried…”  His voice broke with a sob.  “Tried so hard to forget—” 

As he fell apart, Haru held him together…

-x-

The sun was sinking in the western sky, painting the clouds in hues of gold and _sakura-_ pink.  They were sitting together in the grass, the breeze brushing past them before sweeping down into the valley below.  Rin felt drained, his face raw from his tears.  There weren’t any left, now.  He had his arms braced on bent knees, his chin resting on top.  Haru was leaning against his back, pressed close and warm—still holding him, with his legs stretched out to either side.  Somehow, Rin didn’t even have the energy to be embarrassed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much,” he murmured, breaking a minutes-long silence.  _Not even when my dad died._

“Maybe that’s why you needed to,” Haru said, propping his chin on Rin’s shoulder.

“Maybe.”

The quiet stretched between them, the wind sifting through their hair. 

“Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever think…what really happens when we die?”

“Not really,” Haru said.

Rin flicked his eyes skyward.  _Of course you don’t._

“…Before my grandma died, she talked about it sometimes.  Heaven, I mean.  That’s what she believed.”

_I bet heaven to you is one big endless pool…_

“She said she was going home to be with my grandpa and the baby she miscarried before she had my mom.”  Haru rested his cheek against Rin’s shoulder.  “My parents never really said anything about that stuff.  I guess I didn’t ask, growing up.”

 _You were never the talkative type, huh?_   He tried to imagine it—Haru at five years old with large blue eyes, straight black hair, and that same stubborn look…  Rin smiled faintly.  It wasn’t hard to picture.  But his smile faltered as an ache welled up in his chest.  Every day since the storm, he’d thought about it at least once—the family he dreamt of…two names in crayon on drawings hung on the fridge.  Rin pressed his lips.  He was afraid to ask, but—  “You…want kids, right?  Someday.”

Haru didn’t respond right away and Rin’s heartbeat was knocking in his throat.  If this was a deal breaker, he needed to know, even though—

“I…like the idea of having a family with you, Rin,” Haru said finally.  “Something that’s just… _ours_.”  His voice softened.  “Someday, when we’re ordinary and we can do ordinary things.  Like take our kids to the pool or help them with their homework.”

In Rin’s mind, there was a laundry basket filled with tiny clothes…bikes with training wheels…and little rain boots by the door. 

“…But it’s not a dream without _you_ , Rin.  If that’s not what you want, that’s OK with me.”

“It _is_ what I want.”  The words came out sharper than he intended, the force surprising him.  His hands curled against his legs.  “I want…” _everything.  A family, gold medals…I want it all._  

Haru lifted his head, drawing a quick breath.  “Rin…”

 _But_.  Rin’s arms tightened around his knees.  _I don’t know how to move forward.  Without understanding…_   He buried his face in his forearms, sighing.  “Maybe I’ll never know.  Why my dad gave up his dream.”  With time, maybe he could get over it, but…  He didn’t want to be the kind of dad who looked at his own kids still wondering about stuff like that.  He wanted to go into fatherhood loving his children freely, without reservations and distracting _what if’s_ that would never have an answer…

“…You don’t think he wanted to spend more time with you and Gou and your mom?”

“Yeah, _that_ worked.  Picking the job that killed him.”  Bitterness laced his voice.

“That’s not fair, Rin.  You know he didn’t want to leave you like that.”

 _Yeah, but he still did_.  If he were honest with himself, he was angry.  _You should’ve kept swimming.  Maybe you would’ve been gone a lot, but at least you’d be alive._  

Haru shifted, kissing the back of his neck where his muscles had tensed up.  “Maybe it’s something you understand when you _have_ kids.  Not before.”

Rin exhaled, his nerves thawing beneath Haru’s lips.  “Maybe.”

“You didn’t ask your mom about it?”

“…We don’t talk about him much.”  He loosened his arms, stretching out his legs and leaning back into Haru.  “She’s like me, I guess.  We just tried to keep going, find some new kind of normal.”  _We didn’t know what else to do._

“Maybe she needs to talk about it, too.  If she’s been keeping it inside like you have.”

 _Maybe._   Aside from a couple of texts, they hadn’t talked since Rin called from Rome.  He still felt bad about upsetting her.  “…If I do, it has to be after Rio.  I can’t ask over the phone.”

Haru nodded with a thoughtful hum.

…The phone thing was a cop-out, though.  Rin rested his arms over Haru’s as he fell silent.  He was desperate for the answer, but he was also afraid.  Deep down inside him there was a fear he’d never voiced out loud…  It gnawed at him, taunting him, but he was afraid to look at it too closely, because if it were true…  It was the kind of question he couldn’t ask anyone—especially not his mom.  … _Was there something wrong with me?  Is that why my dad had to give up his dream?_   Some rational part of his brain said he shouldn’t think like that—of course that wasn’t why.  It wasn’t like he’d been ill growing up or anything like that.  But—no matter how many times he told himself it wasn’t true—the fear persisted. 

And every time he failed, it only hammered home the same message…that this was all he was capable of, that he’d never be better than this, that he was flawed in some fundamental way…and that was why his dad left swimming to stay home.

The patterns of his life started to make sense when he thought about that—why he was so driven and focused, why he always had to be successful and do the right thing, say the right thing…  Why he had to be _perfect_ —at least on the outside—to prove that he didn’t need anyone, that no one needed to sacrifice anything for him ever.  Rin ran his thumb over the bracelet on Haru’s wrist.  _And maybe that’s why I cried when you said that to me at Barceloneta Beach—that I was more than enough._   Some part of him was desperate for those words—desperate to be loved apart from his efforts…desperate to _rest_ from trying so hard all the time.  The way he lived was like the thin air surrounding them—always a little suffocating and never _free_ to just breathe.

With everyone else in his life, he fought this weakness, denied it, buried it behind a cocky smile…  _I never intended that you would be different._   But somehow—maybe from that first stormy night as kids— _you became that safe place where it was OK to be broken, to just…be._

Rin fit in Haru’s arms just as well now as back then.  _You never tried to fix me with empty words or promises.  You were_ there _for me when I didn’t even want to need you._   Emotion swirled in his heart. 

 _No wonder I’m in love with you_.

Haru’s cheek was warm against his hair.  “I’ll come with you, if you want.  When you’re ready.”

 _Haru…_   Rin turned in his lover’s embrace, shifting onto his knees in the circle of Haru’s arms.  He wound his arms around Haru’s shoulders, meeting eyes that were full of affection, that cared so much about him that he couldn’t fathom how it measured up—how his love was anything but meager scraps compared to the way Haru loved him.  But he couldn’t _do_ more, because Haru would just say that he was enough, that it wasn’t anything Rin _did_ that made him fall in love.

He gripped fistfuls of Haru’s sweatshirt, his voice hitching in a tearless sob.  “I love you _so much_.”

Haru inhaled, his eyes flaring wide.

“I want _everything_ with you, Haru.  _Everything—_ ”

Haru’s blue eyes trembled and filled with tears that spilled in glossy trails down his cheeks.  “ _Rin_ —”

Rin could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen Haru actually cry.  This time he barely registered the tears before Haru’s mouth was on his and Haru’s hands were buried in his hair.

 _Oh God, Haru…_   Rin tightened his arms, melting into the kiss.  It was _perfect_ , his heart stirring with a longing fulfilled—a soul-deep yearning that he could barely express.  And maybe there was such a thing as Providence, because what were the chances—in time and space and the billions of people on the planet who had come before and would after—that he would find the exact _one_ , in his lifetime, who would be everything to him? 

Haru was shaking a little when he drew back and Rin’s eyes widened at the startling realization that what he’d said had done this—that _his_ love meant something incredible to Haru, even though he’d thought it so small and insignificant in comparison.

Haru didn’t say a word, as if he couldn’t.  His fingers traced Rin’s face with reverence, brushing back strands of hair and thumbing away the moisture of his own tears from Rin’s cheeks.  The way Haru was looking at him, touching him—as if he were precious and worth the whole world—

It was almost too much.  Rin sighed deeply, overwhelmed as he leaned against Haru’s shoulder, as Haru wrapped arms around his torso and held him.  He felt safe and loved, the memories returning to him gently, of the family of hugs and _I love you’s_ he once had…  _I want that again.  With you this time._

Rin slipped his arms beneath Haru’s sweatshirt, around Haru’s waist.  He closed his eyes, cuddling in and summoning his courage.  “Haru.” 

“Hm?”

“Can I tell you?  The things I remembered.”

“Yeah,” Haru whispered, drawing him closer.  “Tell me.”

He had to take a deep breath to start, but…  “My dad was the one who taught me how to swim.  I must’ve been crazy small, because I don’t even remember the first time.”  The words and memories flowed like water, Rin smiling amidst the sting in his eyes.  “It was like I’d always been at the pool, like I was born knowing I wanted to swim and race…”  

They stayed through the sunset until the first stars appeared between swaths of silvery clouds, risking their coach’s wrath long past curfew…

* * *

Tuesday, July 5th, 2016

* * *

It was his first full night’s sleep in days.  Rin woke leisurely with the dawn, the feeling of _rest_ both foreign and glorious—especially with Haru’s arm curled loosely around his waist.  Haru was next to him—technically on the second bed.  Their pillows met at the divide, their faces close enough that he could feel Haru’s breath in his hair.  Rin smiled, watching his lover sleep.  The sensation of his bare legs against the sheets was still odd, but— _damnit_ —he was going to get used to sleeping in his underwear.  The feeling of Haru’s skin against his was too good to pass up, even if they were just cuddling.

 _How the hell did you get here?_   Rin sighed as it hit him again, almost as sharply as the moment Maekawa called him aside on Friday evening…  Today should’ve been eighteen days left.  In the back of his mind, the counter was still going.  Part of him hadn’t fully grasped that—in the blink of an eye—that number had been wiped to zero.  Tomorrow would still be zero…and the day after and the day after that…  Yesterday had been too raw and emotional…but now he could appreciate it with quiet, overwhelming awe.

Haru _asked_ for this and traveled through the night…  The traveling part was startling enough, even though Rin knew the sponsors had been involved on either end.  _You still got on a plane alone._   Two months ago, just getting an itinerary—the very idea of travel—sent Haru running from the building…

He smiled to himself.  _How do you keep surprising me like this?_

Rin eventually got up to use the bathroom and plug in his phone before the battery died.  He came back to bed with his tablet, logging on and checking Skype before he caught himself with a chuckle, glancing at Haru sleeping beside him.  _I’m gonna have to redo all my morning routines._

He switched over to the news instead…

Haru stirred awake a little bit later and got up.  Rin watched him cross the room to the bathroom—in boxer briefs only, his frame illuminated by the bits of sunlight peeking around the curtains. 

Haru returned a couple minutes later, crawling back into bed and lying down.  He pressed his face into the pillow with a grunt, his hair glossy against the white pillowcase.

“Headache?”  Rin set his tablet aside.  He threaded fingers into Haru’s hair, brushing shards of black away from his lover’s forehead. 

“Mn.”  Haru pushed against Rin’s palm—catlike.  His expression was flat—clearly more irritated than in pain. 

“Want some water or ice?”  Rin continued his careful ministrations, the strands of Haru’s hair running slowly over his knuckles.  He felt Haru relax.

“Water.”  Haru’s eyes softened.  “You’re gonna take care of me, Rin?”

“Of course I am, dummy.”  Rin leaned in, kissing Haru’s brow before he got out of bed.  He parted the heavy drapes just a few centimeters, gaining enough light to see by as he crossed the room.  At his suitcase, he pulled on a burgundy tank top and a pair of dark gray sweatpants over his underwear.

“Nn.  You ruined the view.”

Rin tossed Haru a smirk before heading into the bathroom.  He filled a glass with cold tap water and carried it back to the bed.

While Haru sat up against the headboard, accepting the glass and drinking, Rin perched on the edge of the bed by Haru’s knees. 

 _Eighteen days_ …  Rin inhaled as emotion lodged in his throat.  “You really just…asked,” he said, his voice coming out hoarse.

Haru pursed his lips and glanced away, lowering the water glass.  “Well, there might’ve been a sketchy deal with our head sponsor…”

Rin lifted a brow.  “Hm?”

“For some promotional stuff, I guess.”

Amusement bubbled up inside him.  “Like interviews and photos ops and…”

Haru paled.  “Maybe?”

Rin chuckled.  “Don’t be nervous.  I’ll come with you.  We can do it together.”

Haru settled against the headboard, drinking again.

 _How is it we just…have what each other needs?  So perfectly, like this?_   “We’re good together, Haru,” Rin said, grinning.  “We’re like…puzzles pieces made for each other.”

Haru blinked at first…then he cocked a brow.  “You mean sexually, Rin?”

“No!”  Rin’s cheeks heated.  “I mean our strengths and weaknesses…that kind of thing.”

“Mm.”  Haru smiled.  “Yeah.”

Rin snorted.  “I’m trying to be romantic and you’re just being literal again.”

“Figurative.”

“Shut _up_.”  Rin mock-glared at his lover.  _If you didn’t have a headache, I’d chuck a pillow at your face._ “I’ll get you some breakfast.  _Saba_?”

Haru was silent for a moment, thinking.  “Toast?  Something…bland.”

Rin smiled.  “OK.”  _I’m glad I can take care of you for once._   He got up, pocketing his phone and keycard from the nightstand.  “More?” he asked, reaching for Haru’s empty glass.

Haru pouted with his eyes.  “Pool.”

“That’s not gonna help your head.”

“Nn…”

 _I missed your pool eyes._   Rin leaned over the bed, aiming for Haru’s lips.  “Don’t vanish on me while I’m gone.”

The kiss was soft and brief.  Haru’s gaze was wistful when they parted.  “You either.”

 _Haru…_   Long seconds passed before Rin was able to tear himself away.  _Damnit_.  If this place had room service, he wouldn’t have gotten out of bed at all. 

Rin slipped on a sweatshirt and a pair of sandals before heading out the door.

-x-

Downstairs in the dining hall, breakfast service was in full swing.  He had to wait in line for the toaster and in a second line for a couple of helpings of _tortilla de patatas_ , so that Haru could get some protein from the eggs.  To round out the meal, Rin gathered salad, yogurt, and fresh fruit.  From the beverage station, he added two cartons of milk and filled a large cup with ice to make a compress for Haru’s head.  It felt odd…going to the dining hall without Momo in tow, unable to take his eyes off the kid for a second without dessert plates sneaking onto Momo’s tray.  As relieved as he was to be free of the babysitter gig, he got used to having the kid around.  Some part of him missed it. 

Rin headed back to the elevator, balancing the tray laden with to-go containers as he hit the button for the fifth floor.  When he got to their door, he shifted the tray server-style onto one hand as he took out his keycard—it was the only useful thing he’d learned from that stupid maid café back at Samezuka.  The trick was going to be opening the door smoothly enough to not jostle the heavy tray—

The door opened before he ever got the card in the slot.  Haru, wearing Rin’s black shark T-shirt, was rubbing his eyes as he stood aside to let Rin into the room.

“You’re up,” Rin said, taking a firm hold of the tray.  _And you’re answering the door without any pants on._   He glanced at Haru’s blue boxer briefs.

Haru shrugged.  “I heard you coming.”

Rin carried the tray into the room and set it on the nightstand.  “How’s your head?”

“Nn.”  Haru closed the door and crawled back into bed, under the covers.  He laid his head on the stuffed dolphin, his blue eyes miserable.

“I got you some ice,” Rin said, heading into the bathroom for a washcloth and an ice pack.  Between him and Momo, they’d made good use of the thing for their own headaches a week ago.  The outside was blue fabric with tiny white stars.  He slipped off his sandals and sweatshirt and joined Haru on the bed. 

Moving the tray between them, Rin opened a couple of the containers, making sure everything was within Haru’s reach.  “There’s toast.  The potato omelet’s pretty good here.”

Haru pushed himself up on an elbow, eyeing the offerings.  His gaze landed on the wedges of golden-brown omelet, then on the toast.  Without saying a word, he looked up at Rin expectantly, like a spoiled cat.

Rin’s brow twitched.   _Really?_ He sighed, unwrapping a fork and knife and using them to slide a large wedge of omelet on top of a slice of toast.  “You couldn’t do that yourself?”

Haru shook his head. 

“Am I feeding you too?”

Haru’s eyes warmed.  He sat up, leaning over the tray…  “Thanks for breakfast, Rin.”  He kissed Rin’s cheek before drawing back and picking up his omelet-toast, crunching into the first bite.

Rin’s face burned, his heart doing a funny skip in his chest…  For a second, he felt like a little kid, those times when his mom and Gou were still in the kitchen and he would play server, bringing out breakfast plates with a cheery— _“Here you go!”_   And Haru would blush and press his lips, looking embarrassed…  But there was always a quick peck on the cheek and a whispered, _“Thanks for breakfast, Rin,”_ that turned him into mush.  He would grin and sit there watching Haru eat until his mom came out of the kitchen to say his food was getting cold…

Eight years later… _I guess some things haven’t changed_.  Rin smiled, the happiness like a glow inside him as he started prepping the ice pack for Haru’s head.

-x-

After breakfast, Rin brushed his teeth and got ready for practice.  In his opinion, he passed the mirror test, but… _we’ll see if you agree, Coach_.  He left the bathroom in his black and red square legs…just in time to catch a glimpse of his lover’s bare backside.  Haru had his back turned as he worked navy blue square legs up his thighs.  Rin chewed his lower lip as he watched.  Even though he’d gotten an eyeful in the shower yesterday— _your tan line is just as epic as I imagined…_

Haru got the suit up over his hips and Rin could finally think again. 

He cleared his throat.  “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”  Haru turned around as he secured the cord-tie.  He tucked the slack into his waistband, a hand’s width below his navel.  “I’m coming with you.”  But even saying the words, he winced a little and rubbed the side of his head.

Rin wrapped his arms around Haru’s shoulders and kissed the place Haru had touched.  “You should go back to bed.”

“Nn.”  Haru met his gaze with large, sad eyes.  “If I just stick my legs in the water…”

 _Ugh, like I can do anything when you make that face._   “OK.”  He squeezed Haru tight.  “Let’s bring the ice pack in case you need it.”

Haru’s eyes lit.  He leaned in, finding Rin’s lips… 

They parted after the soft kiss and Haru smiled.  “My head feels better now.”

Rin inhaled as his insides melted.  His heart was already riddled with arrows… _and you keep adding more_.  Blushing, he detangled himself and reached for his warmups.  “We shouldn’t be late.”

“Mm, OK.”

They dressed, grabbed gear bags, and headed out the door.  The hallways and lounges were crowded now—athletes from multiple countries were hanging out or coming back from breakfast or going to the gym.  Rin and Haru shared the elevator ride down with a handful of others.  On the first floor, in the locker room, they stripped down to their swimsuits.  Rin carefully untied his bracelet, tucking it into the pocket of his gear bag.  Haru left his on. 

Fitting everything into his locker, Rin grabbed his swim cap and goggles...and met eyes glittering with amusement.  “What?”

Haru’s gaze flicked down to his legs.  “When you said, ‘paper white,’ you weren’t kidding.”

Rin’s face heated.  “You ass.”  He slung an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they headed out to the pool deck.

Coach Maekawa was already there, standing behind lane four with a clipboard as Otani worked on breaststroke.  Her hair was pulled back today, her red and white T-shirt matching her Team Japan warmup pants. 

Haru’s gaze was fixed on the pool, but he didn’t leave Rin’s side.  _Your head must really hurt if you’re not running over to dive in…_   They joined their coach.

Maekawa lowered her clipboard, scrutinizing their faces.  She glanced down at the ice pack in Haru’s hand.  “Really, Nanase-kun?”

“I ate like I was supposed to,” Haru said.

Maekawa sighed and gave up with a wave of her hand.  “Standard warm up’s, Matsuoka.  Then you’re working fly.  Make sure you stay out of the way, Nanase.”

“Hai,” they said in unison, sharing an eager look and heading for the pool together. 

 _I haven’t gotten to swim with you in weeks._ This almost counted.

While Rin readied his cap and goggles behind the block for lane six, Haru gingerly slipped into the water from the side of the pool, dunking his head and looking happy, if slightly in pain.

Rin climbed onto the block, wistful.  _I wish I could make it better._  

But as their eyes met—as Haru brushed water and hair from his eyes instead of shaking his head—the contentment on Haru’s face was impossible to miss.  Rin felt it too—a soul-deep calm that only Haru brought out of him.  He smiled as he bent down to grasp the block, Haru clinging to the side of the pool out of the way.  Rin dove over top, plunging into the cool water.  For the first time in days, there weren’t ghosts in his lane.

-x-

Fly felt good and it didn’t give him the same trouble as the fifty free.  Maekawa was still trying to kill him, though.  He got one thirty-second rest in the middle of four thousand meters, pausing at the opposite end of the pool between sets.  Haru was at the midway point, sitting on the side with his legs in the water and the ice pack perched on his head. 

Rin lifted his goggles for a second, watching as one of their sponsor reps—a man in black slacks and a white, short-sleeved dress shirt—came over to Haru. 

Haru lowered his ice pack, his face turned up attentively as he listened to whatever the rep had to say, nodding occasionally.

“Matsuoka!  That’s thirty!”

 _Nn._   Rin righted his goggles and pushed off the wall.

Maekawa didn’t let him attempt the fifty for the whole session, but by the end he was too worn out to mind or worry about it.  While Haru floated on his back in the lane, Rin was out of the pool, hydrating.  He was hungry, but…napping with Haru was the only thing on his mind.  Being curled up in each other’s arms, blissfully tangled, without having to worry about a roommate catching them or Momo randomly showing up…  He didn’t even want to think about going home after Rio, back to their own apartments.  How was that going to work?

“Alright, Nanase, that’s enough,” Maekawa said from the side of the pool.  “Rest up.  The sooner you feel better, the sooner I can get you and Matsuoka-kun working medley.”

Rin perked up at the thought. 

Haru immediately righted himself, swimming to the side and climbing out.  “Afternoon practice?”

“No, _rest_.”  She folded her arms.  “Your headache needs to be _gone_ -gone.  Let’s see how you feel in the morning.”

“Nn.”  Haru looked longingly at the pool…and then shifted his gaze.

Rin smiled.  _When did you start looking at me the same way you look at water?_   He gathered up Haru’s ice pack—which was all melted by now—and the rest of his things.

Haru touched his head again, frowning slightly as he came over. 

Rin wrapped an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “Let’s get some more ice and put you to bed,” he murmured for Haru’s ears alone.

“Mm.”  Haru leaned against him.

They walked back towards the locker room, Rin giving their teammate, Sada, a wave as she passed them headed for the pool.

“The sponsor rep?” Rin asked as they rinsed off in the shower.

“He wanted to know if I could do a conference call with Tsuchiya-san at two pm.”  Haru turned off the water, starting to shake his head, but he stopped himself with a wince.  “You’ll come with me?”

“‘Course,” Rin said, grabbing their towels.  He draped one over Haru’s head, rubbing Haru’s hair dry.

Haru smiled with his eyes, pink lighting his cheeks.

-x-

They took lunch back to their room, sprawled across the bed in their T-shirts and warmup pants with the tray between them.  The TV on the desk was on with the volume low, tuned to a Spanish sportscast that was recapping the US Olympic Trials that finished on Sunday.

“They do theirs so late,” Haru said, between sips of milk.  The ice pack—freshly refilled—was balanced on his head.

“The deadline?”  The US trials ended on July 3rd, the final day to achieve qualifying times for Rio.

Haru nodded, the movement small enough that he didn’t dislodge the ice pack. 

“Yeah.”  Rin poked a piece of fruit with his fork.  “There’s a lot of debate—whether it’s an advantage or disadvantage.  They basically have to double taper—for the trials and then for the Olympics.”  He snorted.  “Based on the medal count, though, seems like they figured it out.”

“Double taper,” Haru whispered, his voice full of awe. 

Rin rolled his eyes.  “You lazy ass.  If you ran taper, everyone would just sit in the bath all day.”

“That sounds amazing,” Haru said, starry-eyed.  “We wouldn’t even have to leave home.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin smiled, nudging one of Haru’s bare feet.

Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure.  He set his empty milk carton on the tray.  “This room doesn’t have a bathtub.”

“Well, if I knew you were gonna show up I could’ve asked for a different room when I got here.”

“I _guess_ I’ll manage.”  Holding the ice pack in place, Haru folded one arm, making a pillow for his head as he curled up on his side with his head towards the TV.  “Since you’re here.”

Warmth spread through Rin’s chest.  He made an exaggerated show of sighing.  “That’s you being romantic, Haru?”

Haru’s eyes gleamed.  “Is it working?”

Rin didn’t answer right away, using the remote to turn off the TV.  He collected the remnants of their meal and put the tray on the desk before returning to the bed.  With heat in his cheeks, he stretched out behind Haru on top of the covers, aligning their bodies as he tucked an arm around his lover’s torso.  “Yeah,” he whispered into Haru’s hair.

-x-

They dozed for a while…then sought the warmth under the blankets, shedding clothes down to their square legs as they curled up together and napped.  The room was pleasantly dark with the curtains drawn; the noise from the hallway minimal.  Rin slept soundly, only waking when Haru got up to use the bathroom.

Rolling over, Rin checked the clock on the nightstand.  It was after 1pm.  _Guess we should get up._ He reached for his phone, entering his passcode with a few taps.  According to the little mail icon in the corner of the screen, he had a number of new messages.  _I kinda let things pile up the last couple of days…_

He sat up against the headboard, switching over to his inbox.

The first message he opened was from Takara, sent midday yesterday and addressed to both him and Haru.  _[You need to see this,]_ she wrote _.  [It’s like cavity-inducing sweet.]_

Haru got back, slipping between the sheets and sidling up to him, insinuating himself beneath Rin’s right arm. 

 _Like a cat_.  Rin smiled, draping his arm comfortably around Haru’s bare shoulders.  He kissed Haru’s brow, inhaling Haru’s familiar scent before resting his cheek against the softness of Haru’s hair. 

Haru tucked an arm around his waist.  His gaze fell to Rin’s phone.

“It’s from Sakamoto.  You should’ve gotten it, too.”  A video was attached.

“Mm.”  Haru gathered the blankets and cuddled in; Rin made sure they could both see as he lowered the volume and played the video.

The camera was focused on an escalator with a steady stream of people coming down with luggage.  Judging by the muffled French in the background, it was an airport in France. 

Mikoshiba was in the foreground with his back to the camera.  He had his arms folded over his T-shirt.  “ _Do you see him yet?_ ”

Takara—apparently filming—clucked her tongue.  “ _You’re the tall one.  If you can’t see him_ —”

“ _Nii-chan!!_ ” 

The camera refocused…  From the very top of the escalator, a pair of arms waved wildly. 

“ _Momotarou!_ ”  Mikoshiba surged forward, getting as close to the bottom of the escalator as he could.  The travelers caught on camera were split between giving the brothers dirty looks and watching the spectacle. 

Momo’s head poked out from the side; he was beaming as he continued to wave.  “ _Nii-chan!!_ ”

Rin snorted.  It was a wonder the kid wasn’t trying to dive off the escalator onto the stairs.

“ _Momotarou!_ ”

The kid’s patience apparently ran out, because he was suddenly squeezing by the other travelers, an eyesore in his clashing orange T-shirt and day-glow yellow backpack.  Momo got to the bottom of the escalator and sprinted to his brother; Mikoshiba met him in a bear hug, lifting the kid off his feet.  The two were laughing and grinning ear-to-ear.

“ _Ugh, it’s worse than the Wonder Twins_ ,” Takara muttered.

Then Mikoshiba was giving Momo a piggyback ride; the kid had both arms over his brother’s shoulders as they came back towards the camera.

“ _Takara-kun, my brother’s here!_ ”

“ _Pretty sure everyone in the airport just figured that out, Seijuurou_.”

Momo waved.  “ _Hi, Sakamoto-senpai!_ ”

“ _Hey, Momotarou-kun_ …”

The sponsor rep appeared, looking haggard as he toted a small carry-on.  “ _Momotarou-kun, your luggage_ …”

“ _Hai!  It’s_ —”  Momo pointed.

“ _Haha, let’s go!_ ”  The brothers loped off screen and the video ended.

Rin smiled.  “Those two are so similar, it’s scary.”

Haru hummed in agreement.  “You ever ask your sister about them, Rin?”

He glanced over sharply.  “No.  Why would I need to?”

“Mm.  No reason.”  Yawning, Haru slid fluidly from his arms, curling up with his head on the pillow.  He closed his eyes as if he were sleeping.

Rin eyed his lover suspiciously.  _If you didn’t have a headache, I’d have ways of making you talk…_   He cleared his throat.  “Your phone’s still in your bag?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Did you text everyone to let them know you got here safely?”  _I should’ve reminded you yesterday…_

Haru’s lips pursed.  “Nn...”

“I’ll get it.”  Rin rolled off the bed.

He found the device in the outer pocket of Haru’s gear bag, along with the charger.  “Here.”

“It’s not dead yet?”  The glow of the screen reflected on Haru’s face as he peered at it.

Rin stretched out next to Haru on his stomach, warm beneath the comforter as he continued working through his email.  Most of it was spam, but—  His gaze stopped on a new mail from Coach Fujino, sent early Monday morning.  The subject line was: _Announcement regarding Relay-Only swimmers._

Rin’s breath caught, his stomach tightening.

“Rin?” Haru was looking at him, questioning with a glance.

Rin exhaled.  “The relay-only swimmer list.”

Haru lowered his phone, turning onto his side and waiting.

Rin’s thumb hovered over the message, his heart starting to pound.  If Sugiyama was listed, the fly leg of the medley final was _officially, no-shit_ spoken for.  He drew a breath, trying to work up the nerve…  “Fuck.  You read it.”  Rin handed the phone over, slumping down onto the bed.

“Dear Olympians, congratulations on completing three months of strenuous training camps and competitions—”

“Not out loud, you idiot.”  _Your reading voice is seriously monotone…_

Haru fell quiet, his eyes scanning the screen.  Rin held his breath—

Haru held the phone towards him.  “He’s not on here.  It’s just the two men and two women for the hundred meter free relays.”

The air left Rin’s lungs in a rush.  “Then he _did_ accept that spot in the hundred fly…”  But, at least from a rules standpoint, it gave Rin a surge of hope— 

Haru’s eyes warmed, reading his face.  “Coach Fujino says our training in São Paulo will focus on the relays.”

Rin relaxed.  He smiled sheepishly, taking his phone back.  “Thanks, Haru.”  He checked for any other messages worth reading…

“Nn…”  Haru’s phone landed on his arm.  “I can’t Spanish right now.  Can you do it?”  On his screen was the browser for connecting to the facility’s wireless.

Rin took the phone.  “There’s an English button, Haru.”

“I can’t English either.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re only eleven _thousand_ kilometers from home…”  He made all the required entries and verified wireless was connected.  As he handed the phone back, he caught a glimpse of Haru’s wallpaper.  _You have a picture of us, too._ He started to smile—

And paused with his hand midway to Haru’s waiting fingers…  Rin did a doubletake, peering between app icons at the picture…at him and Haru curled up in bed together, fast asleep.  His face heated.  “Haru, how do you have—”

“Oops.”

“No, seriously, who—”

“Who do you think, Rin?”  Haru took the phone back, did a couple of things, and held it out again, giving Rin an unobstructed view of the picture.

Rin stared at it.  “But we never got caught—”

“Remember that one time it got kinda late and it was dark when we got up?”

Rin’s cheeks burned.  “Yeah, but…”

“So.”  Haru shrugged as if no further explanation was needed.

With a groan, Rin dropped his face to the bed.  “But after that, we still—”

“We synced up our schedules and I promised Captain Ikehara he wouldn’t walk in on us having sex.”

“ _Fuck_ , you had that conversation with the captain?”

“Yeah.  I don’t remember where you were.  Some meeting or something.”

Rin groaned louder into the bedding.  _Damnit_.  No wonder, in Barcelona…

Haru rolled over, hugging him with one arm.  “Want me to send you a copy, Rin?”

He lifted his head, exhaling as he met the amused look in Haru’s eyes.  “Yeah.”

-x-

Just before 2pm, they headed downstairs in their warmups, crossing the first-floor lobby to the wing of offices on the far side of the facility. 

The rep who spoke with Haru at the pool was waiting at the entrance, bowing to them in greeting.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, thank you for coming.”

They returned the bow.

The man ushered them into a small video conference room with a round table and four chairs.  There was a flat screen TV on one wall and one narrow window letting in daylight. 

“Please, have a seat.”  The rep moved to the control panel on the back wall.

Rin waited while Haru eyed the chairs and eventually picked one.  He smiled to himself.  _You’re only decisive when it comes to water._   Rin took the seat next to him.

“I’ll place the call now, Nanase-kun,” the rep said, pausing.

Haru glanced back, as if unsure if he were supposed to do something.  “…OK.”

 _You’re cute when you’re being awkward_.  Under the table, Rin nudged Haru’s ankle gently with the toe of his sneaker.

Haru glared back at first, but then he relaxed a little.

The screen lit with a woman sitting at a desk, her dark hair twisted up and secured by a stylus.  She wore a short-sleeved jacket with a cream-colored shell.  The window behind her looked out among glass skyscrapers, reflecting clear blue skies and sunshine.  Adjusting her glasses, she smiled.  “ _Nanase-kun, it’s good to see you again.  My apologies for arranging this meeting when you’re not feeling well._ ”

Haru bowed his head respectfully.  “It’s no problem, Tsuchiya-san.  Again, thank you for everything.”

“ _You’re quite welcome_.”  Her gaze shifted.  “ _Matsuoka-kun, it’s a pleasure_.”

Rin dipped his head.  “Likewise, Tsuchiya-san.”

“ _Now then_ …”  She settled back in her chair, twirling a pen in her fingers.  “ _I’ll keep this brief.  I’ve been able to arrange for several opportunities, like we discussed previously, Nanase-kun_.”

“…Hai,” Haru said.

Tsuchiya chuckled.  “ _No need to be nervous.  I promise it will be painless_.”

“You said it would be a week, before...”

“ _As it happens, a few key resources recently became available_.”  She shrugged.  “ _Given the short flow, I wanted to get to you before you made plans for your day off this weekend_.”

Haru blinked.  Clearly, he hadn’t checked the schedule.  Not that Rin could blame him.  _We’ve been preoccupied…_

“ _Sunday will be an all-day photo shoot in Málaga.  Two locations, showcasing performance swimwear and training apparel.  Transportation is all arranged_.”  She tapped her pen on her desk.  “ _And, yes, I’ve cleared this with both Coach Fujino and Coach Maekawa_.”

Rin watched in his peripheral vision as Haru inhaled slowly, tensing a bit.  “…Hai,” Haru said, his voice quiet.

Tsuchiya’s gaze flicked aside.  “ _Will you be joining us, Matsuoka-kun?_ ”

Rin nodded.  “Yes, I will.”

“ _Excellent.  I’ve already ordered appropriate swimwear and clothing for you, as well_.”  The way she smiled, there was clearly _one_ answer to her question and he’d picked correctly.

_Seriously, Haru—this is the person you bargained with to come here?  When you ask for something, you don’t half-ass it, do you?_

“ _Expect an early morning departure from Sierra Nevada.  Details of what you should bring will be in your email.  Everything else, we’ll take care of.  The morning will be all prep, then we’ll shoot in the afternoon and evening_.”

“Prep?” Haru asked, eyeing the rep warily.

Tsuchiya lowered her pen.  “ _Oh, please.  Both of you need haircuts.  I wish I could have you shave, but_ …”  She sighed.  “ _The square legs and briefs will have to wait until Rio_.”

“Rio?”  Rin lifted a brow.

“ _Yes, we’ll finish shooting in Rio after the swimming events are complete.  I’ve also arranged on-site interviews, both in S_ _ão Paulo and during the Games_.”  Her smile sweetened.  “ _Nothing that will interfere with your training or taper, of course, and I won’t be taking all your time.  Just a few things, here and there_.”

 _Fine by me_.  Races and interviews by day, nights with Haru…  It was gonna be a nice gig— _really_ nice.

Haru, however, slumped in his chair a little.

“ _Now…  Neither of you do cupping, I hope?_ ”

_What the fuck is cupping?_

Haru had a blank look on his face.

“ _Good, forget I mentioned it.  And don’t decide to start before Sunday_.”  Tsuchiya scrunched her nose.  “ _I’d rather not have to paint you with makeup before I put you in the pool_.”

“Pool?”  Haru straightened up, instantly attentive.

“ _The Centro Acuático de Málaga—the site of last year’s Spanish Open.  It’s an indoor-outdoor facility with four pools, two of which are fifty-meter, Olympic-sized_ …”

Haru was almost quivering, his blue eyes wide.

Rin chuckled inwardly.

“ _I take it you find this arrangement…acceptable, Nanase-kun?_ ”  Tsuchiya arched a brow.

“Hai,” Haru said quickly.

“ _Then I believe we’re done_.”  She glanced aside; there were a few mouse clicks in the background.  “ _If you have any questions about the information via email, please contact me or one of the reps onsite.  I’ll see you both bright and early Sunday morning in Málaga_.”

“Hai.”  They bowed their heads respectfully as the video call ended. 

“Thank you both for your time,” the onsite rep said as he got the door.  “Please let me know if you have questions or need anything.”

“Thanks,” Rin said.

Haru was slow to get out of his chair, still starry-eyed and dazzled.

Rin fought the urge to roll his eyes.  He grabbed Haru’s hand, tugging gently.  “Come on.”

“Pool,” Haru whispered, meeting his gaze.

Rin smiled.  They nodded to the onsite rep and headed out the door. 

As they crossed the lobby towards the elevators, Rin couldn’t resist a tease.  “We’re gonna be busy, Haru.  What did you sign us up for?”

Haru shrugged, still holding his hand.  “I don’t know.  All I could think of was getting to you.”

Rin’s breath caught.  _Haru_ …

“No weird pictures, though.  I did say that.”

Rin laughed, pulling Haru in so he could throw his arm across Haru’s shoulders instead.  “What am I going to do with you?”

Haru sighed.  “If I didn’t have a headache, I’d suggest stuff.”

Rin pushed the button for the elevator.  The lobby was relatively empty; most of the nearby conversation was from the café down the hall.  It seemed safe enough.  He leaned in, pressing his head to Haru’s and lowering his voice.  “Love you.”

Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure and affection.  He smiled and it flooded Rin’s heart with warmth—

When the elevator came, the car emptied out and they boarded alone.  Rin exhaled.  _Interviews in S_ _ão Paulo, huh?_   “Hope my fifty’s better before anyone asks about it.”

“It will be,” Haru said.

 _Easy for you to say.  You go breathless accidentally, distracted by the water_.  The nerves churned in Rin’s stomach.  _Meanwhile, I’m the national record-holder and I can’t even do it in practice…_

“You’re always in a rush, Rin.  It’s OK that some things take time to work through.”

He met Haru’s gaze via their reflection in the polished doors.  _Yeah.  Maybe you’re right_.  It wasn’t like things he’d been ignoring for almost a decade were just going to magically heal in one day.  _I know that.  I’m just…impatient._

Haru’s eyes softened.  “You should relax more.  Feel the water.  Listen to what it’s telling you.”

“Oh, like _hell_ I’m listening to the water tell me anything,” Rin muttered, wrapping his lover in a tight hug.  “You weirdo.”

Haru’s answer was a quiet hum of amusement.

* * *

Wednesday, July 6th, 2016

* * *

The sky was rending itself into pieces, hail battering the glass behind the curtains with rapid, staccato sounds.  Rin’s eyes flew open in the dark, only to be blinded by a flash of lightning soon after, paired—immediately—with another rolling _crack_ of thunder.  Glowing numerals on the bedside clock read 4:18am; it wasn’t yet dawn.  Rin clutched the blankets as his heart raced, trying to force metered breaths.  He hadn’t been yanked from a nightmare, but it almost didn’t matter.  Memories, imagination, and dreams flooded his mind like violent swells of seawater, rising over his head—

Until strong arms pulled him to the surface, Haru embracing him from behind.  Their hands met, Rin gripping Haru’s fingers as he twisted onto his back amidst tangled sheets.  There was just enough light to see by.  Haru’s eyes were soft blue in the dark room—steady, calm… 

“It’s OK, Rin,” Haru whispered.

The raging ocean inside his head stilled in an instant.  Outside, the storm continued, but Rin’s breathing eased and the pounding of his heart gradually lessened.  He was _safe_.  There was no boat, no roiling whitecaps far from the shore—  _And that’s not our future._

 _Haru._   Emotion spread through his chest, his eyes stinging as he pressed closer—

Haru drew him in tight, fingertips brushing strands of hair from his face.  Haru’s bracelet lightly touched his cheek.

Rin exhaled, long and slow.  “Haru…”

“Hm?” 

He reached up, lacing their fingers together.  “Thanks for being here,” he whispered.

Haru’s eyes warmed like the sea at dawn, reminding Rin of glistening waves gently lapping against the sand.  “Yeah.”

Haru kissed his knuckles before they settled in, sharing the same pillow.

Curled up in Haru’s arms, Rin closed his eyes.  The storm went on, but it didn’t matter anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Centro de Alto Rendimiento in Sierra Nevada, Spain](http://carsierranevada.com)
> 
> Re: Haru's bottle T-shirt XD Inspired by [this post](http://sadfishkid.tumblr.com/post/129853764758)


	23. Our dream in 2-by-100 meter medley, reprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/23/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).

The rain was falling in gentle taps against the windowsill when Haru stirred awake.  The curtains weren’t fully closed; the day beyond was gray with clouds, the glass streaked with raindrops.  Rin was in his arms.  Strands of ruby hair were soft against Haru’s cheek and lips.  He could smell traces of the shampoo Rin used, along with chlorine, pool, and that scent that was uniquely _Rin_.  Their bodies were pressed flush—Rin’s back against Haru’s chest—and Rin had stolen most of the blankets in the hours since the storm.  Rin was still fast asleep, drawing shallow breaths beneath Haru’s arm.

Haru carefully shifted onto his elbow, the sheets sliding down his bare shoulder as he moved for a glimpse of Rin’s face—

Rin’s brow was slack with sleep, his eyelashes resting peacefully against skin still bruised by the lingering fatigue.  His lips were slightly parted as he breathed.  _No nightmares_.  Haru smiled to himself, relieved and happy.  He dropped back down to the pillow they shared, tightening his arm.  Three days in, waking up with Rin like this was still novel and wonderfully foreign—especially wearing as little as they were.  He liked the way it felt—Rin’s skin against his except for their underwear.  It would always be different from swim practice and locker rooms—this intimacy was theirs alone.

“Nnph…”  Rin’s fingers curled in his sleep, loosely circling the bracelet on Haru’s wrist.

 _I could stay like this all day._   _Listening to the rain fall outside, cuddling with you…_   Haru nosed strands of hair from the nape of Rin’s neck so he could kiss the warm skin beneath.

“Nn… _Haru_ …”  Rin sighed, the sound full and content.

 _I wasn’t trying to wake you up…_   But as Rin arched sinuously against him, stretching, Haru couldn’t help but find another expanse of skin to kiss, this time at the juncture of Rin’s neck and shoulder.

Rin’s hand found his, their fingers lacing together.  “Mm.  Your head?”

Haru stilled.  _My headache_.  Pulling free, despite Rin’s grunt of protest, he sat up—

The blankets pooled at his waist.  Haru waited for the pounding to start…but it didn’t.  He gave his head a shake—still nothing.  The headache was gone.  _I can swim today._ A thrill woke inside him.  Being in the pool together yesterday was good, but it wasn’t the same as racing in adjacent lanes or waiting for each other on the block.  _That_ he hadn’t gotten to do since the warm up pool in Barcelona. 

“…Haru?”  Rin rolled onto his back, rubbing his face and pushing strands of hair out of the way.

Haru thrust the covers aside and sank down on top of Rin, his hands braced on Rin’s shoulders.  “ _Rin_.”

Rin paused with a hand still in his hair, not breathing.  A startled blush bloomed in his cheeks.

The eagerness was warm and electric in Haru’s limbs.  His fingers tightened on Rin’s shoulders.  “I want to swim with you.”

Rin’s eyes flared wide.  He inhaled…and started laughing.  “Haru, you—”  His hands found Haru’s arms, squeezing as he chuckled.  “You were so intense, I thought you were gonna say…”  Rin trailed off, grinning, his gaze dancing with amusement.  “I thought you wanted _sex_.  But you just want—” 

Haru pressed his lips.  _I don’t see why we can’t do both today…_

Rin’s smile turned sly—as if he knew what Haru was thinking.  He turned his head, kissing Haru’s bracelet.  “Let me up.”

“Mn…”  Haru backed off, sitting across Rin’s thighs. 

Rin sat up, catching Haru’s face between his palms and leaning in.  Haru let his eyes fall closed as their lips met softly, his hands dropping to Rin’s waist.

Rin was still smiling when they parted, his eyes sparkling with merriment and promise.  “OK, Haru.  Let’s go swimming.”

Exhilaration flooded him in a rush.  “Rin,” he whispered, circling Rin’s torso with his arms.  Their noses brushed as he pulled Rin close for another kiss—

-x-

After powering through a couple of protein-packed smoothies for breakfast, they headed to the pool early.  Haru—already stripped down to his square legs with his cap on and goggles perched on his forehead—waited as Rin undressed with molasses slowness.  _You’re doing this on purpose._

Rin smiled as he closed his locker.  “Don’t glare at me.  We just ate.  You need to let your body digest a little.”

 _Nn.  Smoothies don’t count as food._   “I’ll start slow,” Haru muttered, turning to leave.

“ _Tch._ ”

Haru rounded the bank of lockers, nearly colliding with a swimmer in Team Japan warmups. 

“Hey, Nanase-kun!”  Their teammate, Koda Takuya, greeted him with a grin and a wave.  The guy was Haru’s height, with a shaved head and brown eyes.  “It’s about time you showed up for practice.”  He was a member of Coach Fujino’s pro-team when he wasn’t swimming for Team Japan.

“Koda-senpai,” Haru said.

Koda slipped his hands into the pockets of his jacket.  “I heard the whole crew got pretty smashed for your birthday in France.”

“Not everyone.  If Ozawa-senpai told you, she’s probably not remembering it right.”

The guy laughed.  “Very likely.  Sorry I missed it.”

_We would’ve needed more beer if you were there, too._

Rin joined them in his black and red square legs, carrying his cap and goggles.

“Finally got some sleep, Matsuoka-kun?  You’re looking awake today,” Koda said.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck with a self-conscious grimace.  “Hai.  Good morning, Koda-senpai.”

Koda grinned again, heading off with a wave.  “I’ll see you guys out there.”

Haru glanced aside at his lover as Rin dropped his hand.  _Are you ready yet?_

A slow smile spread across Rin’s face—

As one, they rushed the doors, exiting the locker room into a cloud of moist, chlorine-scented air…

Haru got to the block first—stepping up to lane three and pressing his goggles over his eyes.  He dove, entering the water.  The cool liquid was bliss against his skin, running through his fingers.  Haru dolphin-kicked smoothly, surfacing at fifteen meters and starting slow pulls of free…

He heard the splash when Rin joined him in the lane—the shark behind him in the water.  Warmth pulsed through Haru’s body, his heartrate steadily rising.  _Rin_.  The thrill of it left him breathless—the dolphin aimed for and chased—  _I said I’d take it easy, but…_   He couldn’t help building his speed, excitement sparking through his nerves as Rin closed the gap between them, moving as if he’d pass Haru on the left—

Haru sprung forward with long strokes, gliding through the water and starting to pull away—

Rin was back on top of him immediately, the flow of the water over his ankles telling him exactly how close Rin was to catching him.  Haru kicked it up again.  For 600 meters, they played dolphin and shark, only spacing themselves out for the turns.

Haru was out of breath when he hit the wall at the end and popped up.  Propping his goggles on his forehead, he moved over, waiting for Rin in the shadow of the block with one hand curled around the backstroke starting hold.  The tile wall was cool against his back, the surface of the water steaming as heat rose from his muscles.  Rin finished beside him, droplets cascading from his head and torso as he raked off his cap and goggles.  He was breathing hard, too.  Their gazes met; Rin’s eyes were charged up.  When he smiled, it stole Haru’s breath—

They weren’t alone, but…  Haru let go, wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist instead, under the water.

Rin blushed, but his arm was around Haru’s shoulders instantly, his other hand clinging to the side of the pool and keeping them afloat.

Haru pressed his face into the damp strands of Rin’s hair.  “I’ve been waiting to see you smile like that for weeks.”

He felt Rin’s breath hitch.  “Haru—”  The arm around Haru’s shoulders tightened.

The altitude effects caught up with Haru soon enough and he loosened the embrace, resting his brow against Rin’s shoulder as he drew deep lungfuls of the thin air.  Rin didn’t pull away—though Haru guessed he was blushing like mad.  His fingertips brushed the shards of hair at the nape of Haru’s neck, just below the edge of his swim cap.

A throat cleared nearby.  “Whenever you two are ready,” Coach Maekawa said.

 _Nn_.  Haru untangled himself as Rin drew back. 

Rin’s cheeks were crimson.  He splashed some water on his face, avoiding Haru’s gaze.

Their coach was standing beside the block, twirling a red dry erase marker in one hand.  Maekawa wore a dark gray T-shirt with her red warmup pants, her hair loose down to her shoulders.  Her expression was probably supposed to be stern, but there was amusement in her eyes.  “I take it your head feels better, Nanase-kun?”

“Hai.”

She smiled.  “Good.  Out of the pool.  We’re working medley today.”

Haru’s heart thrilled inside him.  He climbed out of the pool and turned, offering Rin a hand.

Rin pressed his lips, still looking a little embarrassed as he accepted the help.

Their teammates were already gathered—damp from their warmups in other lanes.  Sada and Otani wore one-piece suits in red and teal, respectively.  Kawamura and Koda both wore square legs—Kawamura’s were cerulean blue like Todai colors while Koda’s were bright summer’s green.  Otani’s face was as red as Sada’s suit.  She was trying to hide a smile behind her hand but it wasn’t working at all.  The others watched with calm, bemused expressions—Kawamura and Sada—while Koda was grinning, his arms folded across his chest.

Maekawa uncapped her marker, heading for the whiteboard.  “Today’s set is continuous two-by-one hundreds…”  She wrote on the board.  “Building, descending, and race speed—”  But the numbers were _15…15…15…_

There was a collective groan.  Haru’s eyes widened.  _This is taper?_

“We’ll start with that,” Maekawa said, her faux-innocent smile ruined by the gleam in her eyes as she turned around.  “Kawamura and Sada in lane four, Koda and Otani in lane five, Matsuoka and Nanase in lane six. Koda-kun, your legs are fly-back.”

"Can do, Koto-nee-chan," Koda said.

Haru settled his goggles over his eyes, heading for the block on his lane and waiting behind it.  Rin followed, smoothing his cap onto his head and muttering something under his breath that sounded like, “Is she trying to kill us?”

But their eyes met as Rin climbed up onto the block—  _We get to swim relay together._   Haru smiled, warmth spreading through his chest.  When Rin grinned back at him like an eager kid, Haru’s insides melted, the sudden pang making his eyes sting.  _I missed this.  I really—really—missed this_.  Relays in middle school and high school were good and he cherished the times he’d gotten to swim with dear friends.  But there was always some sort of ache when it _wasn’t_ Rin on the block ahead of him for the fly leg.  _I never wanted to swim relay.  You pestered me until I gave in…you showed me a sight I’d never seen before.  Then you left…  I always wanted more._   It took an Olympic dream to bring them back to this place.  _I’d do it all again—every moment—to be standing here with you._

Rin pressed his goggles, securing them over his eyes.  “What’s that look?”

Haru pursed his lips.  “I love swimming relay with you, Rin,” he murmured.

Rin inhaled, color flooding his cheeks again.  “ _Damnit_ , Haru,” he muttered, turning around.  He snapped the strap of his goggles and bent into position.

Haru smiled to himself.  In the lanes on their right, Koda and Kawamura were up on the blocks, with Otani and Sada waiting behind.

“Leaving on the top.”  Coach Maekawa lifted her whistle.  “ _Take your marks—”_  

…By the end of 4500 meters, Haru felt like his muscles had liquified.  He draped his arms over the lane line, lacking the strength to remove his cap and goggles as Otani and Sada finished their legs in lanes four and five.  Rin had made it most of the way out of the pool.  He was sprawled out on the pool deck—on his back—with his arms stretched wide against the tile.  From his knees down, Rin’s legs still dangled in the water.  His cap and goggles were clutched in one hand.  Kawamura and Koda were sitting against the wall nearby, chatting, laughing tiredly, and drinking from water bottles.

Haru managed to tug his goggles down to his throat, droplets rolling down his face as he slowly caught his breath.  He watched Rin’s chest heave with rapid inhales and exhales.  The square legs reminded him of when they swam together at Iwatobi SC, though the view was different now.  Haru’s gaze wandered over shapely quadriceps and slender knees…down in the water were calves Haru knew were ticklish…all wrapped in pale skin that was desperate for the sun’s attention.  _It’s almost criminal, you wearing long pants all the time._

Haru slipped under the lane line and parked himself on the side of the pool, beside Rin, with one arm folded on the edge.  The motion sent a sprinkle of droplets across Rin’s thighs.

Rin levered himself up onto his elbows.  “Haru…”  His gaze immediately turned suspicious.  “What?”

Haru scooted closer, his shoulder brushing Rin’s knee.  “I like square legs,” he said.  “For three reasons.”

Rin blushed hard.  “What’s the second reason?”

“I can feel the water better.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin rolled his eyes.  “And the third?”

Haru shrugged.  “The on and off part’s easier.”

Rin’s face went bright red.  The next thing Haru knew, Rin was tackling him into the pool.  They sank underwater in a tangle of limbs, Rin’s arms circling his shoulders.

Rin was glaring at him when they surfaced, still blushing as he pressed his face against Haru’s ear.  “How can you say shit like that with a straight face?”

“I don’t know.”  _But I like teasing you._

Rin made a soft growling sound.

Haru smiled.  “You have nice legs, Rin.”  He hooked one leg around Rin’s underwater, for emphasis.

A shrill pulse of the whistle interrupted.  “Cool down’s two hundred free,” Maekawa said.  “Let’s go!”

They broke apart, Haru righting his goggles while Rin swam to the side to get his.

After, the members of Team Japan gathered with their coach, draped in towels as Maekawa erased the board.  “Don’t forget to eat before you pass out.”  She twirled the marker in her hand, smiling.  “We’ll do this again tomorrow.”

There was a mix of grunts and murmurs in reply.

“Hm?”  She lifted a brow.  “Not sure I caught that.”

“Hai, Maekawa-sensei,” they said in unison and bowed.

“Better.”  Maekawa paused.  “Matsuoka-kun.” 

“Hai,” Rin said.

“You’re leading the start of practice tomorrow.  I’ll be late because of a meeting.”

Haru watched Rin’s face cloud. 

“…Hai,” Rin said.  He dipped his head.  When he straightened, his gaze flicked to Koda, their senior.

Koda came back with a smile and a thumb’s-up. 

Rin exhaled, relaxing.

Maekawa left them with a wave.  Haru and Rin gathered the rest of their things.

“Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun, are you gonna have lunch with us?”  Otani clutched her towel around her shoulders, her cheeks pink.  “Or, uhm…”

“They might still have catching up to do, Otani-san,” Kawamura said with an easy-going smile.

Haru glanced at the rest of their teammates.  _You think we’ve done nothing but lounge around mostly naked and have sex for the past two days._ It wasn’t a bad idea at all, though they were only half right.

Rin cleared his throat roughly.  “Yeah, lunch sounds good.”  He glared mildly at Kawamura, the guy chuckling in response.

“Great!”  Otani smiled brightly.  “Let’s go!”

-x-

Lunch was grilled salmon, spiral pasta with tomato sauce, _sopa de picadillo_ , and sautéed potatoes.  There was meat, too, but Haru avoided that.  He sighed audibly when Rin put a plate of fresh salad greens on his tray, but Rin just smiled.  The six of them got a table next to the windows.  It was like eating in the clouds.  The main cloud layer was still above them, but plumes of puffy white lay below, too, and mist obscured most of the outdoor track.  Haru ate slowly, committing the details to memory as conversations went on at the table.  _I wish I had my camera._

An arm snaked around his shoulders, Rin leaning close.  “What out there’s got you so preoccupied?”  He was smiling in the reflection of the window, the two of them wearing their Team Japan warmup jackets unzipped over matching dark gray T-shirts.  Rin’s voice had a tease that matched the gleam in his eyes, so open and like his normal self that Haru couldn’t help smiling, pressing back into Rin’s arm as the happiness spread through him like a glow that couldn’t be contained.

“It’s pretty,” Haru said, meeting Rin’s gaze in the glass.  “I’m gonna draw it.”

Rin’s grin was hidden behind Haru’s shoulder, though it was obvious in his eyes.  “I thought you only drew things in water.”

“Clouds _are_ —”

“—water,” they said together.

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin tightened his arm, chuckling.

Haru inhaled slowly, soaking up the contentment on his lover’s face…

Their teammate Koda coughed lightly.

“There’s no way anyone’s getting the wrong idea,” Kawamura said.  “Even in Rio.”

Warmth gathered in Haru’s cheeks as he sat back, glancing at the others.  He and Rin had their teammates’ full attention.  Otani was the only one not openly watching—she was trying to look engrossed in her juice, but the flicks of her eyes weren’t subtle at all and her face was pink.

Rin didn’t withdraw his arm, though he settled into his chair with reddened cheeks, clearly miffed.  “The wrong idea about what?”

“You two.”  Kawamura smiled pleasantly.  “You might as well be wearing signs.  No one’s gonna mistake either of you for ‘available.’”  The guy shrugged.  “Not like Rome.”

Haru felt it through Rin’s arm, the sudden tension that went through Rin’s body before he pulled away.

“Things got interesting, huh?” Koda asked, lifting a brow.

“Just someone who didn’t want to take ‘no’ for an answer,” Rin muttered, the blush in his face deepening.  “It _didn’t_ get interesting.  Thanks to Kawamura.”

Otani lowered her glass.  “Was I there?”

“You had your hands full with Squeaker playing drunk, remember?”  Sada laid her fork on her empty plate.  She sat back, brushing short black hair from her eyes.

Otani hummed with recognition.

Haru glanced at his lover.  Rin was clearly more embarrassed than irritated.  “It’s not a big deal, Rin,” he said, reaching for his glass of water.  “I ran into people like that, too.”

“What?” Rin looked at him sharply.

 _I obviously didn’t say yes or go with them._   He sipped.

Rin exhaled slowly.  “How did you—?”

Haru shrugged.  “Mikoshiba and Takara were always there.  Takara doesn’t mess around, you know.”

Rin pressed his lips, but he calmed down a little.

Koda chuckled.  “Taka-chan’s pretty feisty when she wants to be.  And she’s always been protective of Nanase-kun.”

Rin’s eyes lit with fire, though he didn’t say anything.

 _Are you jealous?_   Haru reached under the table for Rin’s hand, covering the fist Rin had made.  He met Rin’s gaze.  _You don’t have to worry about that stuff, Rin._

A puff of breath left Rin’s lips.  He turned his hand, curling his fingers tightly through Haru’s. 

“Speaking of Sakamoto-san…” Otani said.  “With the time she put up in Vichy, she’ll probably get anchor for the two hundred free relay, don’t you think?”  She glanced at Sada.

“No question she’s the fastest of the four of us,” Sada said, stretching her arms behind her back.  “For the two hundred, anyways.”  She glanced away with a shrug.  “Distance isn’t my thing.”

“You’ll get anchor in the hundred and medley, Sada,” Kawamura said, leaning one elbow on the table.

“Whatever.  I’ll just be glad when we get to São Paulo and really start working the relays, rather than half-assing it like this.”

Otani’s gaze fell to her plate.  “…Do you think he’ll be back then?”

Haru felt it as Rin inhaled slowly.  She must’ve been talking about Sugiyama.

“He’s fine,” Koda said, with a dismissive wave.  “I talked to him the other day.  Him and Andrews get into it every year.”

“This is…normal?” Otani asked.

“Well…”  Koda sighed.  “Almost.  If it’s worse this time, it’s because you’re here, Matsuoka.”

Rin stiffened at Haru’s side, his mouth thinning into a line.  He didn’t say anything, but Haru could read the look in Rin’s eyes clearly, _What the fuck did I do?_

Koda straightened one sleeve of his Team Japan T-shirt.  “Beijing.  He was favored for gold in the fly after barely missing out in Athens and getting silver, not to mention repeated golds and records at Worlds in between.  Andrews was the scrawny new kid in Athens—he tanked in the semi’s and no one thought he’d be back.  But in Beijing he hit his stride.  So this hot shot, relative-newcomer rolls in and sweeps Olympic and World records in the heats, semi’s, and the final.  Sugiyama barely made bronze.”  The guy rolled his shoulders.  “None of it’s your fault, Matsuoka.  It’s all his own shit.  I just see it in the way he interacts with you sometimes, that you remind him of Andrews.  Beijing-Andrews.  Not Athens.”  Koda snorted.  “Andrews knows it, too.”

Kawamura cleared his throat.  “Not that the two of you are anything alike,” he said, glancing at Rin.

Rin stayed quiet, gripping Haru’s hand.

“You’ve met him?” Sada asked.

“Once, when I was training in the States.”

Koda glanced over.  “You’ve had the pleasure too, huh?”  His voice was thick with sarcasm.  “Half a world away and the guy’s still picking fights in front of the camera.  If it’d been me at the bar in Beijing, I probably would’ve hit him.”

Otani’s eyes went wide.  “But, he seems so…  I mean, that interview he just did, during the trials—”

Koda shook his head.  “Brushing off his rivalry with Sugiyama, mentioning these two instead?”  The guy nodded towards Haru and Rin.  “He knew exactly what he was doing.”

Rin let go of Haru’s hand, pushing back from the table.  “I’m done.  I’ll see you guys later.”  He grabbed his gear bag from under his chair and picked up his tray, heading off—

Haru got up to follow, leaving with a wave.  Their teammates fell silent; Otani—in particular—looked uncomfortable.

Haru bussed his tray, catching up with Rin outside in the hall.  Rin was walking with his hands shoved into his pockets, the muscles in his neck taut above the collar of his Team Japan jacket.  Haru trailed him, two steps behind, close enough that Rin would know he was there, but not intruding on Rin’s space.

At the elevator, Rin jabbed the button, not saying anything. 

The car arrived, a half-dozen athletes exiting.  They boarded alone.

Haru pressed the button for the fifth floor.  The doors slid closed, the elevator starting to move.

“Haru.”

“Hm?”  He glanced over.  Rin had his back turned, his whole body tense.

“You really…meant it?  When you said you forgave me for the shit I did to you in high school.”

“Yeah,” Haru said.  _You’re still beating yourself up over that?_

Rin brushed an arm across his eyes.  “Fuck,” he whispered.  “Like I want to be the reason someone else screws up a race or has a meltdown…”

 _Because even though you want to win, the team still means everything to you._   Tender warmth stirred in Haru’s heart, though he didn’t dare reach out and interrupt what Rin was thinking and feeling.  “I meant it, Rin.”

Rin exhaled roughly.  When he turned, his face was reddened, his eyes heavy.  “I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

Haru’s eyes widened.  “You already—”

“That time in middle school, too.”

Haru fell quiet, remembering how it felt—the sleeve of Rin’s coat slipping from his fingers as Rin pulled away from him, fighting tears.  Rin’s muttered words, back then, were like stabs to his heart— _I quit.  I’m done swimming._  

Haru blinked slowly, his eyes softening as he looked at the one he loved.  “That too,” he said.  _However much it hurt me, I know you were hurting more…_

Rin’s eyes welled with tears. 

The elevator chimed, arriving at their floor.

Rin sniffed hard, hastily rubbing his eyes. 

Haru held out his hand.  “Rin.”

Rin inhaled, reaching out and gripping his fingers. 

The difference was poignant and sweet, Haru treasuring every time Rin let him in, mending what was previously torn apart.  He tugged Rin from the elevator.

…Back in their room, gear bags dropped to the floor almost before the door closed.  Haru had Rin in his arms, his lips brushing Rin’s ear, his jaw, as the tension in Rin’s body started to subside.

“Haru…”  Rin’s voice came out ragged, his arms curling so tightly around Haru’s shoulders it was a little hard to breathe.

“Rin, I love you,” Haru whispered.

Rin drew a sharp breath, his fingertips digging into Haru’s skin through the warmup jacket.

Haru drew back far enough to see Rin’s face, meeting the disbelief and longing in Rin’s gaze.  _It’s OK with me if it’s still hard for you to hear it sometimes.  I’ll keep telling you._   He pressed their foreheads together.  “Wanna nap with me?”

Rin’s eyes warmed, a small smile breaking across his face.  “Yeah.”

Haru leaned in for Rin’s lips as he coaxed his lover towards the bed.

-x-

He woke before Rin did, stretching against the sheets as he rolled over onto his right side.  From the nightstand, he picked up the phone he’d neglected all morning.  With Rin’s soft breathing in the background, Haru checked his messages.

Makoto wrote him back overnight—during the morning hours in Japan.  _[No worries, Haru.  I figured you were just busy.  Thanks for letting me know.  Tell Rin I said, ‘Hi,’ OK?]_

 _[OK,]_ Haru sent back.

There were messages from his parents, too.  After reading those, Haru continued scrolling through his inbox, bypassing the spam items.  There was a new email from their sponsor, Tsuchiya, sent just this morning.

_[Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, slight change of plans.  We’ll do part of the shoot at sunset—late evening.  In consideration of your curfew, expect to stay overnight in Málaga.  Your return transportation has been revised to Monday morning, having you back in time for a later morning practice, as coordinated with Coach Maekawa.  She confirmed that one day at sea level wouldn’t negatively impact your acclimation.  Advise if you have questions.  Regards, Tsuchiya Kaede.]_

Haru mentally shrugged at the change.  _OK._   He’d pack a few more things.  He wasn’t nervous about it now—Rin would be with him.

Haru switched over to his browser app, starting an internet search.  _What is cupping?_

There was a brief rustle of blankets, Rin going quiet on the other bed.  “Haru…you’re awake?”

Haru heard the soft reservation in Rin’s voice.  He set his phone aside, rolling onto his back.  “Mn.”

Rin was curled up, facing away from him, one hand clutching the blankets at his right shoulder to prevent them from sliding off.  “There’s…something I need to tell you.”

Haru turned onto his side, gripping the edge of the pillow beneath his head.  “OK,” he said, keeping his voice even though his heart started to thud in his chest.  “About…Rome?”

Rin shook his head, his fingers tightening on the covers.  “Sousuke…tried to kiss me.  After you left for Norway.”

The words washed through him dull and cold, settling like a weight in his midsection.  _You waited until I was gone, Yamazaki?_   Haru’s hand fell open against the sheets.  “…‘Tried?’”  He didn’t doubt that Rin loved him or the future Rin wanted with him.  But feelings…relationships…histories…weren’t always that simple.

“He stopped when I told him to.”

Haru’s breath slipped from his lips—he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding it.  _Why is that something you feel guilty about, Rin?_   “It’s not your fault—what he does.”

Rin sighed.  “I know.”  He rolled onto his back, strands of hair falling away from his cheek as he stared up at the ceiling.  “But you tried to warn me.  I just…didn’t realize he felt that way.”

“You’re kind of dense about this stuff, Rin.”  _It’s hard for you to believe that people love you, so it’s always a surprise._

Rin snorted, pink blossoming in his cheeks.  “ _Thanks_ , Haru,” he said, his voice thick with sarcasm.

Haru pressed his lips.  “It’s always your choice, you know.”

Rin glanced at him with hard eyes.  “I told you not to say shit like that.”

He shrugged.  “You met him first.”

Rin’s face clouded and he looked away.  “Yeah…”  He was quiet for a few seconds.  “I…can’t say I didn’t think about it, if things would be different if he wanted to swim the relay with me, back then.”

The mere idea of losing Rin was like a wave of agony breaking over him, but Haru rode it out, waiting…

“But he would’ve been doing it for me, not because he wanted to.  Our dreams…what we want…it’s different.”  Rin shifted onto his side, facing him.  “Not like us, Haru.”  Rin’s left hand—with the shark and dolphin bracelet on his wrist—lay between them.

Haru inhaled slowly, his gaze tracing the bracelet.  “Our dreams are different, too, Rin.  You want to be an Olympic swimmer.  But I just…” _want to swim with you._   His fingers curled against the sheets.

Rin blushed deeper, covering Haru’s hand with his own.  “I’m not talking about swimming.”

Haru’s breath caught.  “Rin…”  Heat welled up in his cheeks.

Rin smiled at him, his eyes full of love as he moved closer—

Haru stayed where he was, his fingers clutching Rin’s.  “I…kissed Makoto once.  Last year.”

Rin’s face shuttered in an instant, his hand going slack against Haru’s.  A myriad of emotions flickered in the depths of his eyes—hurt, envy, doubt, confusion.  “Last year…” he murmured.

Haru nodded.  “Takara kissed him at a party.  He was upset about it, so he asked, later…  But, he also wanted to know, I think.”

Rin’s eyes hardened at the mention of Takara.  But then his shoulders slumped, his fingers dragging through Haru’s.  “Because he asked…?”

“I wanted to be sure, too.  We’ve known each other our whole lives.  I knew he loved me.  …Part of me thought I should feel the same way.”

Rin exhaled.  “But…?”

Haru shook his head.  “I knew right away.”

Rin’s gaze flicked to their clasped hands, then back to Haru’s face.  “He’s…OK, you think?”

“Yeah.”

Rin sank against the sheets, relief in his eyes.

“Yamazaki, too?” Haru asked.

Rin nodded.  “He would’ve come to the same conclusion eventually.  But it’s better this way, having closure.”  Rin squeezed his fingers.  “Haru, thanks for telling me.”

Haru smiled, squeezing back.  He shifted closer, until their noses were almost touching.

Rin’s lips pursed.  “What about Sakamoto?  She’s all over you.  Did she ever…?”

Haru arched a brow.  “I’m faster than Takara, Rin.”

Rin relaxed, his breath moist against Haru’s lips.  They finally kissed, the contact soft, even chaste, but they were still leaning in, making the kiss longer, pulling each other closer—  The emotion of it was warm in Haru’s chest.  _I could kiss you forever.  I never want to stop._   He happily lost himself in Rin’s arms and unhurried kisses until their alarm went off.

“Dryland,” Rin murmured as they finally parted.

“Nn.”

As Rin got out of bed, Haru rolled over and sat up.  He picked up his phone, the screen coming to life with the browser app still open.  “Huh.”  _That looks…uncomfortable._

“Huh, what?” Rin asked, stretching his arms over his head—all taut muscle and bare skin except for his square legs. 

Haru held out the phone.  “Cupping.”

Rin peered at the screen.  He blinked, his nose crinkling.  “Huh.”

-x-

Their dryland session started in the gym with Coach Maekawa’s supervision; after, she sent them outside to run the track.  The clouds had lifted since the morning.  Haru had to slow to a walk more than once, feeling the altitude keenly.  He unzipped his purple and white running shirt as sweat dotted his brow, grateful for the bit of breeze that cooled his skin and rustled his black, knee-length shorts.  Haru filled his lungs with thin air, rubbing the left side of his rib cage where a stitch had formed.  The _only_ reason he ran was for the sake of swimming and even then, it was because Rin did it.  Same with weight training.  _If I wanted to be fast on land, I would’ve joined the track team._

Rin jogged back to him, annoyingly _fine_ with the elevation.  His hair was mostly tamed into a ponytail.  He was wearing a black and yellow running shirt with yellow shorts over black leggings.  “Doing OK?” he asked, offering a water bottle.

“Yeah,” Haru said between huffs, accepting the bottle and drinking with quick swallows until his thirst was quenched.  He wiped the corner of his mouth when he was done, handing the bottle back.  “Thanks.”

Rin smiled.  “Sure.”

They walked the track’s far turn on the outside, letting others pass them on the inner lanes. 

Rin drank from the water bottle, then lowered his arm to his side.  “Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”  Haru brushed sweat from his forehead to keep it from dripping into his eyes.

“When you’re acclimated…will you race me in the fifty?”

Haru dropped his hand, glancing over to study Rin’s face.

Rin’s expression was flinty with determination.  “I think—if you’re with me—I can do it.” 

Rin’s words filled him with warmth.  “OK.  Tonight?”

Rin cocked a brow.  “I _said_ when you’re acclimated, dummy.”

“Nn.”  Haru looked away, thinking.  “We can work up to it.  Like you helped me before.”

Rin was quiet for a moment as he considered.  “Three breaths to start?”

Haru nodded.

A smile brightened Rin’s face.  “OK.”

Haru soaked in the sight, eager.  “So…we can start tonight?”

Rin rolled his eyes.  “Haru…”  He grinned, moving in and slipping his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “Late’s good,” he said.  “So we don’t get in trouble for extra exercise.  Though, maybe, if we skipped the last mile to make up for it…”

Haru eyed his lover.  “Or we quit _now_ for different exercise and swimming later.”

Rin’s gaze flicked to him aside.  “I don’t think that counts as exercise, Haru.”

“It gets my heart rate up,” Haru said, lifting his hand to run down Rin’s arm until their fingers were tangled together.  “Yours too.”  He waited, watching as Rin’s eyes heated and his gaze turned sly.  “…Want to?”

“Yeah,” Rin whispered, his grip tightening on Haru’s fingers, his eyes slipping to Haru’s lips.

Haru cleared his throat roughly, moving out from beneath Rin’s arm.  They cut across the inner field, jogging back towards the building…

-x-

The sun was setting when they chanced the pool.  It was a couple hours after dinner and well within their ten-hour overnight curfew.  There were still a few others practicing, but their coach and teammates weren’t around.  After a two hundred meter warm up, Haru claimed lane five to Rin’s left, adjusting his goggles as he climbed onto the block. 

“Three-breath fifty, leaving on the top,” Rin said from lane four. 

“Ah.”  Haru set his feet for the start, glancing at the clock before he looked over.

Rin grinned back at him, snapping the strap of his goggles as he bent to grasp the block, Haru moving in unison. 

The hand on the pace clock swung towards vertical.

“Ready… _go_ —”

They dove together, entering the water and surging forward—

Haru surfaced at the same time Rin did, taking his first breath at fifteen meters.  Their eyes locked before they went to stroke, a thrill running through his body.  Haru took his second breath just past halfway and his third with about ten meters left to go.  Rin was right with him the whole time.  They hit the wall together, Haru popping up and breathing hard.  He pulled off his cap and goggles, shaking the water from his hair. 

Rin slipped over the line between them, his arms circling Haru’s shoulders as his chest heaved with breath.  He was still grinning, his eyes alight with pleasure.  There weren’t any ghosts in his gaze.

Haru smiled, curling his arm around Rin’s waist as he continued to draw deep breaths, hugging Rin back.

* * *

Sunday, July 10th, 2016

* * *

“Haru, you need to wake up.”

“Nn…”  It was way too early to get up.  Haru rolled over, pressing his face into the pillow.

The mattress dipped by his side.  “Haru…”

“It’s still dark out,” he muttered.

“Yeah, and it’s gonna be for another hour and a half…”  The blanket was pulled away.

Haru scrunched his shoulders at the influx of cooler air.  “I’m not getting up.”

A warm weight pressed him into the sheets as Rin settled heavy against his back.  “If you don’t get up, you can’t swim in the pool in Málaga.”  Rin’s whispers stirred the hair next to his ear.  “The _four_ pools in Málaga.”

Haru considered it…but there was a pool here, too.  _And you lying on top of me doesn’t make me want to go anywhere._

Rin’s mouth slipped from his ear…down the column of his throat…to the sensitive juncture where Haru’s neck met his shoulder.  Delicious shivers raked down his spine, all the way to his toes.

“Or I can put a mark here and tell Tsuchiya-san you decided to try cupping…”

Haru’s eyes flew open.  “I’m up.”

Rin chuckled, climbing off him.  “The division head’s wrath is enough to do it, huh?”

Haru sat up, rubbing his eyes.  “She’s way scarier than you, Rin.”

Rin was sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed in a heather-gray V-neck T-shirt and olive green pants.  One bedside lamp was on, bathing the room in a soft, yellow glow.  Rin’s eyes danced with amusement.  “‘Morning, Haru.”

“Nn…”  But he accepted Rin’s kiss and quick run of fingers through his hair.

Haru pushed the covers back, climbing out of bed and crossing to his suitcase in his underwear.  Their gear bags and overnight bags waited by the door.  He grabbed a change of clothes, heading into the bathroom.

“No shower, we’re gonna be late if you do that,” Rin said from the room.

Haru exhaled.  “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

“I tried, dummy.”

-x-

They were down in the lobby with two minutes to spare, Haru trailing Rin with the dual straps of his bags across his chest, over his purple V-neck T-shirt.  It was supposed to be warm in Málaga, though not hot by Haru’s Phoenix standards.  He opted for black pants with his sneakers.

Their sponsor rep was waiting for them—the same guy who pulled him aside on Tuesday for the video call.  The man wore a short-sleeve dress shirt and black slacks.  He checked his watch upon their arrival.

“We’re not late,” Haru said.

The rep cleared his throat, moving to open the door.  “The car’s waiting.”

Outside, they loaded their bags into the trunk—except Haru’s gear bag. 

Rin eyed him suspiciously.  “Why are you keeping that?”

“No reason,” Haru said.

“ _Tch_.  Haru, you are _not_ eating _saba_ in the car.”

Haru frowned.  “I only had a smoothie for breakfast.”

“Nanase-kun, there will be food when we get there,” the rep said, pausing by the front seat passenger’s door.  He glanced at his watch again.

“Haru—”

“ _Fine._ ”  He glared at Rin as he relinquished his bag and climbed into the backseat of the vehicle.

Rin closed the trunk and got in beside him.  The car pulled away from the curb, gaining speed as it descended to the first switch-back in the road.

“…You’re gonna pout at me the whole way, now?” Rin asked, his voice low.  His fingers settled warmly over Haru’s down against the seat cushion between them.

Haru inhaled…but his annoyance evaporated as he looked at the smile on Rin’s face, the eagerness in crimson eyes.  “No,” he murmured, lacing their fingers together.  He wasn’t going to let silly things get in the way of him enjoying Rin’s presence.  _Never again_.  Haru leaned over, using Rin’s shoulder for a pillow.  “Wake me up when there’s water, Rin.”

“OK,” Rin whispered, his other hand trailing down the side of Haru’s face.  Lips brushed his brow and Haru fell asleep.

-x-

Rin nudged him awake two hours later.  “Haru.”

“Nm.”  Haru blinked, rubbing his eyes as he straightened. 

The car was pulling up in front of a massive white building that encompassed an entire city block.  The entrance was set back from the curb, behind decorative trees.  The sign over the front read _CENTRO ACUATICO DE MALAGA_ in large, silver letters.  Division Head Tsuchiya was standing on the front steps in tinted glasses, ankle-length pants, and a sleeveless blouse.  Another—younger—woman was with her in company apparel—a polo shirt, athletic pants, and sneakers; her strawberry-blond hair was smoothed back and gathered into a tail at the nape of her neck.

The car stopped in front of the entrance.  Rin tossed him a grin and got out.  Haru followed—

Warm sea breeze flooded his lungs.  Haru’s eyes widened.  He looked all around, squinting in the bright sunlight.  He could _smell_ the ocean, but he couldn’t _see_ it.  For weeks, he’d been landlocked, ever since…  “Barcelona,” he murmured.

“Hm?”  Rin was sliding on a pair of sunglasses. 

 _It should be illegal to look that good in shades._   “The air,” Haru said, donning his sunglasses also.  “It reminds me of Barcelona.”

Rin’s eyes glittered behind tinted lenses, his smile sly.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, welcome,” Tsuchiya said, descending the steps to meet them.

Haru joined Rin on the curb; they both bowed.  “Tsuchiya-san.”

“I appreciate you putting up with the early call time,” she said.  With a wave of her hand, she indicated the woman with her.  “This is our Creative Director, Kaya Naoko.  She’s in charge today.”

They bowed again.  “Director.”

Kaya stuck out her hand, shaking with each of them.  “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.  I’ve been following you from the beginning—back in April—hoping I’d get the chance to work with you.”

“The pleasure is ours,” Rin said.  “We’ve been looking forward to this.”

 _You always know what to say for these things._   Haru nodded.  “Ah.”

“Great!  If you’ll get your things and come with me…” Director Kaya said, moving towards the entrance.

-x-

The restaurant and lounge _Azul Terraza_ was connected to the aquatic center.  The open-air terrace had views of the fifty-meter outdoor pool, white tables and chairs, and a breakfast buffet that included freshly grilled mackerel.  Haru and Rin loaded up plates, the wind stirring their hair as they joined Tsuchiya and Kaya at a round table near the glass half-wall on the edge of the terrace.  While they ate, Director Kaya spread a pamphlet across the center of the table.

“This is our _gen-mirai_ collection,” she said, drawing Haru’s attention to renderings of performance swimwear of all lengths and styles, black with slashes and arcs of vibrant color with veins of gold throughout.  “It looks from the present moment to the future, inspiring up-and-coming swimmers to strive now for their dreams of tomorrow, with a heavy emphasis on the themes and vision of Tokyo 2020.”

Haru looked up from the page, inhaling as his heart resonated within him.  _Like us._   Beneath the table, Rin caught his hand, squeezing hard like he could barely contain himself. 

“Along with the high-performance line…”  The director spread out a second pamphlet on top of the first.  “The collection includes training and recreational swimwear, as well as apparel.”  The glossy pages held pictures of swim trunks, track suits, T-shirts, and shorts.  “So you can expect quite a few costume changes today, but we won’t ask you to wear anything you’re uncomfortable with.  On the other hand, any pieces you like will be yours to keep, after the shoot.”

 _More swimsuits…_   His eyes must’ve been sparkling, because Rin coughed lightly and glanced at him askance.  _There’s no such thing as too many swimsuits, Rin._

Rin’s eyes flicked skyward, but he smiled, his thumb running across the back of Haru’s hand.

“But enough about the clothes,” Kaya said, smiling.  “This campaign is just as much about promoting both of you, showcasing your hopes and dreams for Rio as well as the future.  That’s really what we’re here to capture.  So?”  She lifted a brow.  “Maybe you could tell me—in a sentence or two—what swimming means to you?  Nanase-kun?”

Haru blinked, taken aback.  _How could I possibly…?_   How could he coalesce and distill into words what the water _felt_ like, the thrill that came over him when he swam with Rin, the warmth of being a member of a relay team, the agony and longing he felt when he couldn’t be in the water…?  He tried to describe it once in an essay for elementary school, but there was no way he was bringing up _that_.  _Water is alive.  Once you dive in, it will immediately bare its fangs and attack…_   _All I want to do is feel the water with my skin, my eyes, my soul…_  Yeah, they’d think he was crazy.

Haru pressed his lips, Rin squeezing his hand reassuringly under the table.  “I think…I can only show you.  It’s…hard for me to try to put it into words.”

The director nodded.  “Fair enough.  Matsuoka-kun?”

Rin drew a breath beside him.  “To me, swimming is how I connect with the people I care about the most.  My dad, my friends…Haru.  I love to compete and I love to win, but swimming with a team—being part of something bigger than just me—that’s when I really feel alive.”  Rin paused, his voice softening.  “That’s when I feel like the future’s full of endless possibilities that are all within reach.”

Rin’s fingers tightened around his for emphasis, Haru’s breath catching.  Three months ago, he would’ve been miffed that Rin was one-upping him with such a cheesy, on-point response…but now the romantic bits were hitting him hard.  _Because of the future we want together._   Emotion lodged in Haru’s throat.

Rin smiled.  “What Haru means to say is the water makes him feel free in ways nothing else does.  He needs water like he needs air.”  He glanced over, his expression warm with mirth.  “Maybe more.”

 _Not more than I need you,_ Haru thought, holding Rin’s gaze. _I love you._

Rin’s eyes lit with pleasure, pink blossoming in his cheeks.  He looked back to their sponsors, clearing his throat.  “It’s like that,” he said.

Haru nodded.  “Yes.”

The women exchanged a glance, a slow smile spreading across the director’s face.  “I can work with that,” she said.

Haru was still mulling over Rin’s words as they gathered their things and trailed their sponsors back into the main facility.  Some things hadn’t really changed—not even in eight years.  Haru glanced aside at his lover, the two of them walking side-by-side and carrying their gear bags.  “My Shining,” he murmured beneath his breath.

Rin looked over as if he hadn’t heard.  “What was that?”

Haru smiled.  “What you said back there, about the future being full of endless possibilities…  It reminds me of the essay you wrote in sixth grade about the two of us flying together—”

“Ah!”  Rin’s arm crashed around his shoulders in a headlock, his face going bright red.  “Don’t you dare—”

Haru smothered a laugh, lifting his hand to Rin’s arm—to the bracelet on Rin’s wrist.  “I didn’t say it was a bad thing, Rin.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin mock-glared at him, but it didn’t last.  He smiled, leaning their heads together as they followed their sponsors downstairs.

-x-

It was the first time Haru had been to an aquatic center that included a salon.  The room was day-lit and gleaming, with glossy flooring and decorative chandeliers.  The artwork on the walls was Old Hollywood—pictures of dressing rooms with show box lights, portraits of women with finger-waved hair and brilliant red lipstick.  There were four stations set up in front of tall mirrors against a striped white and black wall; in the center of the room, on a floor of pure white tile, was a tufted, circular settee in burgundy fabric.  Two people were present—one man and one woman, both in company polo shirts and pants like Director Kaya.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, this is Arita and Furutani,” Kaya said, the woman and man waving, respectively.  “They’ll be taking care of you for this part.  I’ll see you upstairs in a couple of hours.”

Hours?  How long was a haircut supposed to take?  Haru set his gear bag on the settee, next to Rin’s.

Director Kaya and Tsuchiya shared a few words; then the director left, Tsuchiya settling onto the sofa with her Blackberry.

Haru and Rin were ushered to the stations in front of the mirrors, black styling capes fastened around their necks.  Haru tried not to fidget, disliking the feel of the cape around his throat.  On his left, the woman, Arita, was working a comb through Rin’s hair, scrutinizing Rin’s reflection in the mirror.

“Uh, how much are you going to cut off?” Rin asked.

The woman smiled.  “Just a trim, Matsuoka-kun.  So you don’t look ragged in the pictures.”  She let the chair down.  “Come with me, your hair is desperate for conditioner.” 

As they left for the shampoo stations, the man—Furutani—combed Haru’s hair and pinned it back from his face.  “We’re going to start with a hot towel treatment, Nanase-kun,” he said in soothing tones.  “Over here, please.”

Haru ended up at the shampoo station on Rin’s right, lying back as Furutani wrapped a warm, damp towel over his face except for his nose.  It felt odd at first, but after a while it wasn’t so bad, the moisture seeping into his skin.

The way Rin sighed though, one chair over…  He knew Rin had a thing for hands running through his hair, especially at the base of his scalp, but.  _I can make you sound like that, too._   Maybe he should try it sometime—washing Rin’s hair in the shower.  Haru pursed his lips beneath the towel.  _I’m not jealous._

When the towel started to cool, Furutani removed it, leading Haru back to the styling station in front of the mirror.  The man smoothed some kind of cream onto his face, then ran a tiny, bristled wand through his eyebrows.  He picked up a pair of tweezers.

“What’s that for?” Haru asked, eyeing the instrument warily.

Furutani smiled faintly.  “Nanase-kun, I’d wax you if Tsuchiya-san would let me.”

“Rio,” Tsuchiya said from the settee.

Haru’s eyes widened.  _What?_

“Just relax,” the man said, again speaking in a melodic voice.  “Close your eyes and think of something pleasant.”

 _Nn._   Haru closed his eyes.  _Four pools.  After this, I get to swim with Rin in four pools—_

-x-

When they finally got out of the salon, Haru felt like his entire head had been scrubbed, poked, and prodded…  If his skin was glowing, it was from the attention and his irritation, not any sort of ‘inner radiance.’  Most of the day was still ahead of them.

Director Kaya met them outside the entrance of the locker room, next to a wheeled rack laden with opaque garment bags bearing the company’s logo.  “You both look fantastic.  Thanks for putting up with all of that.”  She pulled two bags off the rack.  “This, plus your Team Japan caps and your preferred goggles.  We’re doing the action shots first.  I’ll meet you poolside.”

Haru took the garment bag offered to him, following Rin into the locker room.  They didn’t have the place to themselves, but getting a short break from their sponsors was a relief.  They headed to the last row of lockers, Haru sighing as he picked a vacant locker and opened it.

Rin hugged him from behind.  “Holding up OK?”  Rin’s cheek was extra soft against his.

“Yeah,” Haru murmured.  He met Rin’s reflection in the mirror in the back of the locker.  Rin’s gaze was sympathetic and warm…and they _did_ look good with trimmed hair and moisturized skin.  It wasn’t something he was eager to do often, but…as the price for being in Spain with Rin it was so very _worth it_. 

Haru turned in his lover’s arms, running his fingers through garnet strands that felt softer than silk.  Rin hummed with pleasure and then they were kissing in the shadow of the door, Rin pressing him into the locker.

When they broke apart, Haru was pleasantly breathless.  He couldn’t help smiling.

“Better?” Rin asked, hugging him close.

“Yeah,” Haru said.

“You know that this is the part where you try a new suit, right?”

Haru inhaled, his eyes widening.

Rin chuckled, pulling away and returning to his own locker, two over.

Holding his breath, Haru unzipped the garment bag.  Inside was a brand new pair of jammers—black with slashes of blue bleeding into violet and flowing tendrils of shimmering gold.  “Rin, look,” he whispered, his voice hushed with reverence. 

“Haru, check it out.”  Rin held up a pair of leg skins that matched, except that the slashes of color were vibrant red that faded into shades of wine and mauve. 

Their eyes locked and then they were shucking off their clothes and working themselves into the suits.

Rin grunted as he coaxed the fabric up his thighs.  “They sure got the sizes right.”

“Yeah.”  Haru carefully tugged the suit up over his hips. 

It took minutes to get fully situated, but—finally—they were standing together in front of the full-length mirror, caps on, goggles perched on their foreheads.  Rin’s arm was around his shoulders as they studied their reflection.

“We look good,” Rin said.

Haru smiled.

At length, Rin straightened, catching his hand.  “Come on.  They probably think we’re taking too long.”

They pushed through a set of double doors, heading out to the pool deck—

Haru’s heart stopped, his hand slipping from Rin’s as he went stock-still.  The place was wall-to-wall _massive_ and at least three stories tall.  Rows of stadium seating on the far wall overlooked the 10-lane, 50-meter pool that stretched left to right, wall-to-wall.  In front of the main pool were three smaller ones.  On the left was a leisure pool with two whirlpools; the other pools were on their right—the high dive plunge pool and the 25-meter warm-up pool.  The left and right-hand walls were floor-to-ceiling glass.  Beyond the wall of windows on the right was the 50-meter outdoor pool, sparkling in the sunlight.

_Is this what heaven’s like?_

Rin came back to him, rolling his eyes and grinning.  “You’re gonna look at the water or you wanna swim, Haru?”

Haru remembered how to breathe, his gaze focusing on his lover.  _I get to swim here with you._   With two steps, he crashed against Rin, snaking his arms tight around Rin’s waist.  “ _Rin_ —”

Rin laughed.  “I know, dummy.”  His arms slipped over Haru’s shoulders, his lips brushing Haru’s cheek.  “Let’s go.”

Haru could only nod, letting Rin take him by the hand again.

Director Kaya was with Tsuchiya near the start blocks of the 50-meter pool.  Various light stands and reflectors were set up, along with tripods and several large bags of gear.  Two men in black polos and pants were attending to the equipment.  Other people were in the area—of note, there was plenty of noise from the warm up pool where a bunch of kids were counting in Spanish during their swimming lesson.  But it seemed like Haru and Rin had the main pool all to themselves.

The director’s eyes lit when she saw them headed over.  “Tsuchiya-san, I owe you…”

The division head smiled, adjusting her glasses.  “You can thank me later, Director.”

Kaya grinned.  “Gladly.”  She waved them close.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.  You can warm up as needed.  The action shots will focus mainly on starts, finishes, exchanges, turns.  We won’t be asking you to swim a marathon.”

Rin stretched his arms over his head, his shoulders popping.  “Three hundred should be good.  Eh, Haru?”

“Ah.”  Haru nodded.

“Great!  Our photographer is Haseda Moriko.”  Kaya turned, gesturing to a woman sitting on the edge of the pool by lane nine.  She was wearing a black tank suit with a small scuba tank strapped to her back.  The woman paused checking her equipment to wave.  “She’ll be in the pool with you, taking test shots.  You can ignore her for now.”

“Haseda Moriko,” Rin whispered.

Haru looked over; Rin met his gaze.

“Bronze medalist from the women’s medley relay in Sydney, anchor leg.”

“Haseda-san was one of our star athletes for more than a decade,” Tsuchiya said.  “Now she’s among the most sought-after sports photographers in the world.  We’re fortunate to have a contract with her.”

Rin nudged Haru’s arm, giving him a pointed look that Haru understood implicitly.  _That could be you some day._

Haru blushed, floored by Rin’s faith in him.  _Architect, world-class photographer…you really think I can do anything, don’t you?  I thought I would only ever be ordinary…_

The director clapped her hands together.  “Ready to go?  I want to get through all the action shots before lunch, so…”

“Hai.”  Rin grinned, pressing his goggles into place.  “Haru—”

“Ah—”  He caught up, joining Rin behind the blocks for lanes four and five.  After a brief round of stretching, they climbed onto adjacent blocks… 

Haru looked out across fifty meters of glossy water, the far end of the pool disappearing into the glare of sunlight from the windows outside.  The vision came to him with startling clarity—stands filled with cheering fans, competitors up on the blocks, the shrill four-pulse of the whistle…and Rin by his side.  His heartbeat quickened with excitement; he glanced at Rin eagerly—Rin whose face resonated with the same thrill, the same passion—  _This is the dream I wanted to share with you._

Rin’s eyes sparkled knowingly behind tinted goggles.  “Haru, leaving on the top?”

“Yeah, Rin.”  He bent to grasp the block, flicking his gaze to the clock.

“Ready—”

They were racing as soon as their fingertips touched the water’s surface.  Haru surged forward with strong dolphin kicks, gaining ground until they came up for stroke.  Then Rin was baiting him, teasing him with little bursts of speed Haru couldn’t help matching.  Sunlight rippled through the water as they curled into the first turn, building up to a steady pace for the second fifty.  They managed to restrain themselves through the first two hundred meters, but as soon as he saw Rin really dig into the turn going into the final hundred, Haru knew they were going for it.

He started to close the gap during the underwater phase; going to stroke he began long, measured pulls, increasing his speed gradually.  They hit the final turn in unison, coming up to a sprint for the last fifty meters…  Haru gained and lost the lead repeatedly—Rin wasn’t backing down.  But Haru wasn’t either; he pulled out his reserve and flew the rest of the way, not breathing at all for the last fifteen meters into the wall—

Haru hit a fraction of a second before Rin did.  He popped up with burning lungs, raking off his cap and goggles, the _rush_ of racing Rin surging through his body—

Rin was breathing just as hard and grinning, his cheeks flushed with exertion, his eyes bright and wild.

Haru slid over the line into Rin’s lane, wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist, pressing Rin back into the farther lane line as he buried his face in the soft, wet strands of Rin’s hair.  Rin’s left arm circled his shoulders; with his right hand, Rin held the line, keeping them above water as their chests heaved with breath—

The water gurgled two lanes over as the photographer surfaced, removing her regulator from her mouth and lifting her scuba mask.  “Director, we can go to print right now with the shots I just got.”

Haru’s face was hot as he loosened his arms from around Rin’s waist.  _I forgot what we were doing…_

Rin gave him a sheepish look, his cheeks as red as his hair.

Director Kaya chuckled from behind the blocks.  “You know I trust your judgement, Haseda-san.  If you say we’re done underwater, we’re done.”

“The only things I still need are some exchanges and Matsuoka-kun swimming fly.”  She settled her mask back into place.  “You two mind doing some medley cycles, from fifteen out?”  Haseda smiled.  “After you’ve caught your breath, that is.”

“Sure,” Rin said, still breathing hard.

Haru nodded.

-x-

“That’s a wrap for the action shots,” Director Kaya said, an hour later.

It wasn’t one of Maekawa’s 4500 meter sessions, but Haru’s limbs still felt like jelly when he climbed out of the pool.  Rin followed.

Kaya met them at the side of the pool while the photographer went to tend to her equipment.  “We’re breaking for lunch.  Go ahead and shower, get changed.  Meet us at the restaurant when you’re ready.  You remember the way, right?”

“Yeah,” Haru said.

Rin propped his arm on Haru’s right shoulder, nodding.

“Good work this morning, guys.  We got really great footage.”

“Thanks,” they said.

Rin slung his arm fully around Haru’s shoulder as they trudged back to the locker room.

“I want a nap,” Haru muttered as they stood together under the spray in the communal shower area.

Rin chuckled.  “You can ask, but I don’t think we’ll get it.” 

“Nn.”

They changed into street clothes and put their bracelets back on, leaving everything else in the locker room as they made their way to the restaurant.

The smell of hot, grilled fish drew Haru like magnet, making his mouth water the moment they stepped outside onto the terrace.  The lunch buffet consisted of salad, toast with goat cheese and honey, grilled sea bream, peppered pork filets, and crispy _patatas a lo pobre._   Haru filled a plate with fish, toast, and potatoes, to which Rin sighed and made salads for them both.

They joined Director Kaya at the same table as before, sea breeze making the white tablecloth flutter.  Tsuchiya was just inside the restaurant at a small corner table with a laptop out in front of her.  She was conversing on her Blackberry.

“We’ll start back up at the top of the hour, forty-five minutes from now,” Kaya said while stirring sugar into a cup of coffee, alongside a tall glass of ice.  “I won’t take up too much of your time—I want you to have a chance to rest—but there is something in your file I wanted to ask you about, Nanase-kun.”  She proceeded to pour the coffee into the glass, the ice creaking and cracking at the influx of hot liquid. 

“Hai?”  Haru watched the ice break and shift.

“It says you’re interested in a humanitarian platform—clean water.”

Haru raised his gaze to the director’s face.  She was probably a few years younger than Coach Maekawa—early thirties?  “Yes,” he said.

“Can you tell me about that?”

Haru glanced away, his eyes landing on the outdoor, fifty-meter pool.  In his mind, he saw the pictures he’d looked up on the internet months ago, not just in Rio but around the world—kids swimming in polluted waterways, kids walking multiple kilometers to gather pails of muddy drinking water that would only make them sick.  The sense of guilt and disparity he felt stirred inside him like a festering wound.  _My whole life, I never realized there were places like that.  I took it for granted, thought it was normal—universal—to spend my life in pure, clean water…_

Beneath the table, Rin found his hand, squeezing gently.

Haru looked over, meeting Rin’s eyes. 

Rin was smiling at him, silently encouraging… 

Haru drew a breath and his courage, meeting Director Kaya’s gaze again.  “I’ve always…loved the water.  It’s where I feel free and alive.”  He pressed his lips.  “I didn’t know, until recently, that my view of the world was so narrow.”  He laced his fingers together with Rin’s.  _Until you took me out of my bubble and showed me._   “It’s not OK that kids only have contaminated water to swim in, or that the water they drink to survive gives them diseases and parasites or even kills them.  It…”  The air threaded from his lips.  There was so much more he wanted to communicate—the problem deserved so much more—but he didn’t have the words.  “It…shouldn’t be that way.”   _If I want to change things—even a little bit—how am I ever going to do it?_ He sat back in his chair.  “I’m sorry I can’t…say it well.”

Director Kaya shook her head.  “That won’t be a problem, Nanase-kun.  I can tell, just from your eyes, how much this means to you; how much you care about this.  That’s what I needed to know.  We won’t launch into something like this for an athlete who’s just looking for another avenue to get attention.  That’s not you.”  She smiled at him and picked up her glass to sip.  “I understand you’re an art major at Koutei University?”

“Hai.”  Haru dipped his head.

“All mediums?  Or do you have a specialty?”

Haru shrugged.  “I pretty much do it all.”

“Painting,” Rin said, his voice slightly hoarse.  “Haru’s oil paintings are breathtaking.”

Haru glanced over, startled to find a sheen in Rin’s eyes. 

Rin avoided his gaze, gripping his hand beneath the table.

The director nodded.  “I’ll talk to Tsuchiya-san.  This is something I’d like to pursue with you in Rio, Nanase-kun.  When I have some thoughts, I’ll get back to you.”

Haru inhaled.  “…Hai.  Thank you, Kaya-san.”  He bowed his head more formally.

“Of course.  It’s the least I can do.  As you said…”  Her smile turned sad.  “It’s not OK.”  With that, she got up, taking her glass of iced coffee with her.  “At two pm, you’re back downstairs with Arita and Furutani, alright?”

“Hai.”  They both stood, bowing as the director left.

The second Haru sank down to his chair, Rin’s arms were around him and Rin’s face was buried in his hair.

“Haru, I’m so proud of you.”  Rin’s voice was quiet, wavering with emotion.

Heat circled Haru’s throat.  He lifted one hand to clutch Rin’s arm. 

“You’re gonna do such incredible things to help people, to change things and make a difference.”

 _Rin…_   Haru’s eyes stung with sudden tears.

“Whatever I can do, I want to be there.  I want to support you, be a part of it in any way that I can.  Every step of the way.”

Haru sniffed hard, finding his voice.  “ _Rin_ —”  He turned his head, meeting the moisture in Rin’s gaze.  “I couldn’t have done that without you.”  _Having you with me is everything I need._

Rin’s eyes flared wide.  When he blinked, unshed tears trembled on his eyelashes.  “Haru…”

Haru closed his eyes, leaning in for Rin’s lips.  “I love you.”

“I love _you_.”

Their food was cooling on their plates by the time they got around to eating it.

-x-

Furutani hummed as he studied Haru’s face in the mirror.  “Got into the waterworks earlier, hmm?”  Haru’s nose and cheeks were still a bit pink. 

“A little,” he said.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” Arita said from the left, next to Rin.  She was working fresh product into Rin’s hair.  It smelled like pineapple.

“Eminently true,” Furutani said, swiveling Haru’s chair 180 degrees.  He pinned Haru’s hair back from his face.  “I know our boss warned you off cupping, but it’s a challenge I’d be game to try, someday.”

“You’re on your own with that one,” Arita said.

Furutani chuckled.  He applied a dab of cream to the end of a brush.  “Eyes closed, Nanase-kun.  This part—I promise—won’t hurt.”

-x-

 _So this is what makeup feels like…_   Haru peered at his face in the mirror as Arita finished styling his hair.  Every trace of redness was gone, like Furutani had said.  His skin looked flawless, his eyes looked even bluer than usual—however that worked—and his lips had a slight sheen of moisture to them.  It felt weird having the extra weight on his face.  He found it ironic that Arita was arranging his hair to _appear_ wet, like he’d just gotten out of the pool.  _Why can’t I just get in the water again?_

“There.  You’re all set, Nanase-kun.”  She lowered the chair and unsnapped the styling cape, pulling it from his shoulders. 

“Thanks,” Haru murmured, getting up.

Rin, in Furutani’s chair, had his eyes closed as the man coated his made-up face with finishing spray.

 _I’m never admitting to Nagisa and Rei that we did this._   Rei, Haru was sure, would go on about it ad nauseam.  With Nagisa, though, it would probably trigger some kind of post-traumatic stress response about his childhood with older sisters.

Furutani stepped back, reviewing his work.  “You’re done, Matsuoka-kun.” 

Rin opened his eyes, shifting beneath the styling cape as if stiff from sitting for so long.  “Thanks.”

“Of course.”  Furutani drew the cape away.  “Now, we’ll be upstairs with you for touchups, but try to avoid touching your face, OK?  And when you get a drink, use a straw.”

“Understood,” Rin said for them both.

They headed out with a wave, leaving the hair and makeup artists to gather their things.

“I guess this means no kissing,” Haru said as they climbed the stairs, holding hands.

“Just for a little while,” Rin said.  His smile turned into a smirk.  “You can last that long, can’t you?”

Haru lifted a brow.  “I’m not sure I can, Rin.”

Rin chuckled.  “Then we’d better get this done in one try, huh?”

“Yeah.”  Haru smiled.

Outside the locker room, Director Kaya was waiting with their next set of garment bags.  “Here you go.  Bring your goggles, OK?”

They changed in the locker room.  The warmups were pleasantly understated—bright, bold colors with black along the sides and subtle logos.  Haru’s were a rich sapphire blue; Rin’s were wine-colored, a few shades darker than his hair.  The corresponding suits were black with tendrils of white that really made the gold pop.  Matching black and white athletic sandals completed the outfits. 

The nerves started to wake in Haru’s stomach as he finished getting dressed, leaving the warmup jacket unzipped over his jammers and pants.  Swimming pictures were fine, but this part…  He slowly untied his bracelet, tucking it into the pocket on the outside of his gear bag.  It was one thing having all eyes on him in the pool and he’d stood for enough podium photos by now to find that tolerable, _but_ …

Rin, on Haru’s left, closed his locker, his goggles dangling from his right wrist.  “Ready?”

Haru didn’t answer.  With anyone else, he would’ve said yes anyways.  But Rin would know.  He couldn’t bring himself to shake his head or say what he was really feeling.  _This is so easy for you_.  He couldn’t help feeling embarrassed—a little bit—that this was one area where he’d never stand on equal ground as Rin.  _If I can’t do a good job, will Tsuchiya-san regret sending me here?_   Today should’ve been thirteen days left—

Arms slid around him from behind, slipping beneath the panels of his warmup jacket; Rin’s palms were warm against his skin.  “Don’t overthink it, dummy.”  Rin’s breaths stirred Haru’s hair.  “You make the suit look good.  You’re selling it just by putting it on.  If they didn’t think so, they wouldn’t have arranged all this, right?”

Haru drew a breath, his eyes widening.  “How did you…?”

Rin shrugged, not letting go.  “I know you don’t like this stuff.”  He paused, his voice softening.  “But so we could be together, you still…”  Rin’s arms tightened.  “I’m not sure you realize how much it means to me.  You doing this.”

 _I wanted to do something that wasn’t easy._   Haru swallowed, reaching into his locker for his goggles before he closed the door.  “Sydney,” he whispered.

“Hm?  For Christmas?”

Haru shook his head.  “The first time.  Because you took me there, I found my dream.  I was able to move forward, because of what you showed me.”  He pressed his lips, his fingers curling around the strap of his goggles as his hands drifted to his sides.  “I wanted to do something for you, this time.”

“Haru…”  Rin’s voice was the quietest whisper, awestruck and hesitant.  “ _Fuck_.”  He pulled away.

Haru turned.  _What did I…?_

“Stupid makeup,” Rin muttered, not meeting his gaze.  “I can’t cry or kiss you and it sucks.”

Haru felt a glow of pleasure.  “Rin…”

“Come on.”  Rin grabbed his hand.  “Let’s get this over with.  We’ve got stuff to do later.”

Haru arched a brow, letting Rin lead.  “You mean…naked stuff?”

“Hell yeah, I mean naked stuff.”  The gaze Rin tossed back at him simmered.

Haru smiled.

They headed out to join Director Kaya and the rest of the crew behind the start blocks of the main pool.  A white backdrop had been erected near the light stands, reflectors, and other equipment.  Haseda—their photographer—was out of the pool now, dressed in black warmup pants and a tank top.  Her long reddish-brown hair was pulled up into a tight bun, a sports headband keeping stray strands out of her face.  Haru’s gaze fell to the camera in her hands as they approached, watching as she flipped through settings and snapped test shots.  _That’s a good camera._

Director Kaya came over to greet them, smiling broadly.  “You guys look great!  Ready for round two?”

“Sure,” Rin said with a smile.

Haru lifted his shoulders.  _I guess._

Her face lit with amusement.  “Good.  Let’s get going.  I’ll be leaving you in Haseda-san’s capable hands for most of this part.”

The photographer came over, shaking hands with each of them.  “Now that I can greet you properly without all of that scuba gear…  I’m Haseda Moriko.  It’s nice to be working with you.”

“Likewise,” Rin said.

Haru nodded.

“We’ll start with some test shots against the backdrop for lighting, so I can learn your angles, etc.  Nanase-kun, I’ll have you go first, OK?”

Haru drew a deep breath as Rin squeezed his hand.  “OK,” he said, letting go.

Haseda led him over to the backdrop.  Furutani was waiting, scrutinizing his face briefly before nodding and letting him go without any touchups. 

Haru stood where the photographer placed him, his throat a little dry and his shoulders stiff.  It was warm with all the reflected lights on him.

“Ready, Director,” Haseda said.

“You got it.”  Director Kaya did something with her phone and music started—coming from speakers set at the base of each light stand.  The song was ambient and mostly instrumental, with a steady backbeat and soothing, melodic tones.  Haru didn’t recognize the song, but it wasn’t bad.  Somehow, it reminded him of running his fingers through water, ripples spreading outwards from his hand.

“I’ll have you turn your head to your right, Nanase-kun,” Haseda said, lifting her camera.  “Eyes level.”

Haru obeyed, the music washing through him as he moved.  His shoulders relaxed a bit.

“Good.”  Lights flashed, the sound of the camera shutter lost in the music.  “Now, turn back towards me about halfway—yes, right there.” 

Haru’s breathing started to even out, the lights pulsing twice. 

“OK, straight on…yes, good.  …And halfway left.”  Haseda’s voice kept a steady cadence with the flashes.  “Perfect.  Now, fully left…”

 _This part isn’t hard._   One song mixed seamlessly into the next as the photographer rotated him through various angles.  Rin was standing off to the side next to Director Kaya; their eyes met more than once in passing—Rin was always smiling.  They were near a laptop set on a stand.  Tsuchiya was behind them—seated in a plastic chair, occasionally glancing up from her Blackberry.

“Alright.”  Haseda straightened, lowering the camera briefly.  “I’ll take the fan.”  One of her assistants came to the edge of the backdrop on Haru’s right, activating a fan that was set up on the floor.  A soft current of air rose immediately, ruffling the edges of Haru’s warmup jacket and his hair. 

 _But we’re indoors…_   Haru exhaled.  _And my hair is supposed to look wet when it isn’t.  I don’t get it._   He was standing straight-on to the camera again, the faux wind running across him right to left.

The photographer took a couple of shots.  “Turn slightly to your right, Nanase-kun.  About one o’clock.  And goggles around your neck, please.”

Following her instructions, Haru shifted into the airstream, the hem of the jacket lifting gently from his back.  He pulled his goggles on, trying not to mess up his makeup in the process—

Haseda snapped pictures while he moved.  Heat rose in Haru’s face, though he doubted it would bleed through the makeup.  He got the goggles settled at his throat.

“Touch the collar of your jacket, Nanase-kun, left hand only…  Yes, _perfect_ —”  She sounded happy.  “Shoulders back…weight on your right leg…  Mm-hm, very good.  And…eyes to me—”

Haru glanced at the camera.

Rin sucked air audibly and tried to smother it with a cough.  “Uh, sorry,” he muttered.

Haru couldn’t help flicking his gaze in Rin’s direction. 

Rin was looking back at him, his goggles gripped in one hand.  His expression was sheepish and a little startled.

 _You liked that, Rin?_  

“This time with a bit more movement, Nanase-kun.  Give me a stretch with a slight arch backward—”

Haru obeyed, shifting his eyes back to the camera.  In his mind, though, it was Rin…Rin looking at him, watching him… 

“Yes, just like that…  And…let’s lose the pants and sandals.  With flourish,” the photographer said, smiling.

Haru paused.  “Flourish?”

“Yup.  Say, like before your hundred free final in Barcelona last month?”

More heat worked into his cheeks.  “It’s OK to throw the clothes?” he asked.

“Absolutely.  Just mind the lights.”

“Hai.”

Haru stepped out of the sandals and swept them aside.  He stripped off the warmup pants, flinging them away as the flashes popped, letting his arm fall slowly back to his side. 

“ _Yes_.  That was perfect, Nanase-kun.  Let’s go back to one o’clock…and turn up the fan, please—”

The photographer talked him through several more poses—his jacket joining the scatter of discarded clothes—until she finally lowered the camera.  “Great work, Nanase-kun.  Take a short break, OK?  Matsuoka-kun, you’re up.”

Haru retrieved his warmups and sandals, leaving the backdrop as Furutani did a few touchups on Rin’s face.  Haru met his lover’s gaze; Rin was half-glaring at him with heated eyes.  _Uh-oh._ A pleasant shiver ran down Haru’s spine.  _I’m in trouble, aren’t I?_  

Rin didn’t say a word, passing him for the white backdrop.  Haru took his place by Director Kaya and the laptop.

“I’m ready for you to switch it up, Director,” Haseda said.

“On it.”  The director took out her phone, tapping the screen with her thumb. 

The music changed to a more vibrant, heavy beat—faster and rhythmic.  Haru’s breath trailed from his lips.  It was less chill, more chase, and he _knew_ he was in for it…

The photographer took Rin through a similar set of test shots, though it didn’t take as long.  Soon the fan was going again and Haseda was lifting the camera.  “Give me the music, Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin turned towards the fan, his wine-colored jacket flowing away from his body.  He lifted his left arm, running his fingers slowly through his hair, flicking his eyes to the camera behind his elbow—

Haru forgot how to breathe.  There was a chance he’d never remember. 

Rin’s goggles dangled from his right wrist as he raised the arm and twisted, stretching with his shoulders back, every bit of muscle catching the light—

Haru’s mouth went dry.  He couldn’t look away from the screen as Rin’s fingers trailed down the back of his own neck, the warmup jacket slipping off the cap of his shoulder—

A throat cleared pointedly behind Haru.  “Time out.”  Tsuchiya left her chair, coming even with the laptop and folding her arms.  “My kids are going to see this.” Rin straightened into a normal stance, Haseda lowering the camera.  “Matsuoka, I’ll need you to dial it back,” Tsuchiya said.  “I’m trying to sell swimsuits.  What you’re doing is a whole other department.”

“They’d be glad for the footage,” Director Kaya said while fanning her face with a clipboard.  Haru glanced at her and she smiled back with a wink.  “We do a calendar.  You two would be perfect—”

“Director,” Tsuchiya said.

“Hai.  _Sumimasen._ ”  Kaya lowered her clipboard, bowing.  “Haseda-san.”

The photographer nodded.  “Understood.”  She flicked a few settings on her camera.  “Matsuoka-kun, less outright sex and more…Rome karaoke.”

Rin pursed his lips and Haru knew he was blushing under the makeup.

“You know about that?” Haru asked quietly. 

Director Kaya smiled.  “We do our homework, Nanase-kun.  If it’s on the internet, we’ve seen it.  Barcelona…Rome…Norway…Mesa.”

The flashes started up again.  Rin was square to the camera, his right hand propped on his hip as the air cut across his body.  He played to it, a confident smile on his face.

 _You’re really good at this_.  The photographer hardly had to give him any direction.

“There was talk of having Matsuoka-kun sing something, but we couldn’t come to an agreement with this short of a flow,” Kaya said.

“It’s not off the table for Rio.”  Tsuchiya turned away, heading back to her chair.

Rin glanced over.  “What was that?”

“Nothing at all,” the director said, waving it off with a chuckle.  “Sorry for interrupting.  We’ll be quiet.”

“Nn.”  Rin eyed them suspiciously.

“Eyes back to me, Matsuoka-kun,” Haseda said between another few snaps of the camera.  “And lose the pants.”

Rin’s portion went faster.  Soon, he was stripped down to his leg skins and—after a handful more shots—the photographer was stepping back.  “Alright, let’s do a few together.  Director, can we get the black and white jackets out here?  I’m not feeling the colors for the dual shots.”

“Sure,” Kaya said.

“Nanase-kun.”  Haseda waved him over.

Haru walked over in his jammers with the goggles around his neck, while an assistant cleared Rin’s discarded clothes from the area.  The makeup artist was on them before he could even say a word to Rin, Haru having to close his eyes as a powder brush swept across his brow.  Arita came over as well, taking a moment to fix their hair.

“Director?”  Furutani tapped the tan line on Haru’s wrist where his bracelet usually sat.  “Want me to blend this out?”

“Haseda-san?” Kaya asked, her gaze fixed on the laptop.

The photographer joined them, studying the twin tan lines on their wrists.  “I’ll post-prod it,” she said.  “If I need to.”

Furutani nodded.  He and Arita switched…a few more tweaks and they were finally headed off.

An assistant walked over, bringing them black warmup jackets with white shoulders.  As they shrugged into the garments, Haru finally had a chance to look Rin in the face.

Rin met his gaze and lifted one brow, questioning him silently.

Haru nodded.  _I’m OK._   He straightened the collar of his jacket, pressing his lips.  _Though I really want to hug you_.

Rin’s eyes warmed as if he got the message.

The flashes popped.  “Yes, that look’s perfect,” Haseda said.

Haru’s cheeks heated as he forced his attention back to the camera. 

The photographer snapped a couple more frames before lowering the camera.  She exhaled, one hand perched on her hip as she considered them.  “I’m not even gonna bother with the standard poses.  Give me a relay podium, you two.”

Haru inhaled, Rin’s arm slinging warm across his shoulders.  He couldn’t stop himself from glancing at Rin, loving Rin’s familiar touch. 

“A little more weight on your right foot, Nanase-kun.  Towards Matsuoka-kun.  _Perfect_.  And…eyes to me.  Yes, just like that—”

Rin drew him in tighter and Haru relaxed.  _I like this part_. 

“…OK, let’s change it up,” the photographer said, a couple of minutes later.  “Matsuoka-kun, you can stay where you are.  Nanase-kun, I want you to turn 180 degrees, facing Matsuoka…  Yup, and offset one step to your right…  Yes, there.”

Haru was even with Rin’s left shoulder, close enough to feel the warmth of his lover’s body.  Their eyes met and Rin was smiling, his eyes sparkling with affection.  A soft glow welled up inside Haru’s chest; he couldn’t help smiling to himself.

“Matsuoka, one step forward, arm draped over Nanase’s right shoulder…”

Rin closed the gap, leaving only a sliver of air between their bodies, the fabric of their jackets brushing.  Rin’s arm rested lightly over his shoulder, down his back.  Haru’s fingers curled loosely at his sides; he wanted to hug Rin so badly.  _Though, I’d rather we were alone…_

“Nanase, relax your hands and look at me over your left shoulder…  Yup, just like that.”  Haseda snapped a couple shots.  “Fan please.”

The air picked up the edges of their jackets, making the cloth flutter and dance. 

“More air and higher—”

The blast of air caught him in the face; Haru couldn’t help wincing.

“Shield your face with your hand, Nanase-kun.  Yes…out a little further so you’re not blocking Matsuoka…  Perfect.”  The flashes popped.  “Yes, give me that irritated look.  That’s great.  …Matsuoka, eyes to me—”

Rin cleared his throat, making a soft growl of annoyance only Haru could hear.

“Yes, that’s the money right there—”

_What, us looking miffed?  I don’t get it._

Haseda took a few more shots.  “OK, you two can relax.  Kill the fan, please.”

The air died off, Haseda and the director exchanging a few words.  Rin sighed, leaning in and resting his arms over Haru’s shoulders.  Haru slipped his arms around Rin’s waist, beneath the jacket.  His face was hot as he met Rin’s gaze, but he just needed to do this…

Rin smiled, moving close like he’d press their foreheads together…but he stopped before they touched, exhaling.  “Stupid makeup,” he murmured.

Haru smiled, tightening his arms.

The pop of the flash surprised them both, though Haru wasn’t embarrassed enough to let go.

“B-roll,” Haseda said, smiling.  “You guys can lose the jackets.  We’ll take a couple shots standing in the water next, before I send you back to change…”

-x-

Hours passed in a blur of different outfits, poses, touchups, and camera flashes.  Haru lost count of the swimsuits he’d worn, or the number of songs they’d modeled to.  They were standing in the leisure pool with the water up to their thighs, reclining against the edge of the pool and each other, when—

“We got it,” Haseda said.  “Pool’s wrapped, Director.”  She handed off her camera to an assistant, climbing out of the water in her black, one-piece suit. 

“Great!”  Director Kaya was on the edge of the pool, beyond the two whirlpools.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, you can get changed.  We’ll touch up your hair and makeup before switching locations.  In the meantime, snacks in the lounge, OK?”

 _Finally_.  Haru sagged back against Rin, a heavy breath falling from his lips.  Rin’s arms twined around his neck from behind, Rin pressing his forehead against Haru’s hair. 

“Ready?” Rin whispered, his breath warm against the back of Haru’s neck.

“Yeah.”  He squeezed Rin’s arm and they climbed out of the pool…

The locker room was crowded—different age groups of boys were milling about, getting ready for swimming lessons or practice.  Several shared the last row of lockers with them.  Haru sighed as he got dressed, thinking of promised kisses…but even the towel trick wasn’t going to work with all these kids underfoot.  They tied each other’s bracelets on and headed upstairs…

This time, they were ushered into a different area of the restaurant.  The back room had lattices over the windows; U-shaped white leather couches surrounded a central bar with three tiers of backlit bottles of liquor.  The lights were low—bluish and warm amber—and the floor and bar were dark, rich wood. 

Director Kaya left them by one of the sofas near the back, a small table in the center of the U bearing a tray of fruit, cheese, and crackers, with bottles of water and glasses of fruit juice.  “You can relax here.  We’ll join you in a little bit, after we finish packing up for the beach.”

 _Beach_ …

She headed off and Rin had his hand, tugging him down to the cushions. 

They sat with their backs to the room.  They weren’t alone, but…whether it was the mood lighting, soft music, or low murmur of other conversations, the lounge _felt_ intimate.  Rin’s arm was around his shoulders immediately, their thighs touching as they sat close together.  Haru melted into Rin’s embrace, lifting his hand to lace his fingers through Rin’s.

“Tired?” Rin asked, his whisper tickling Haru’s left ear.

 _I shouldn’t be.  We barely swam today._   “It’s more work than I thought.”

Rin nuzzled the side of Haru’s face, his lips finding the edge of Haru’s jaw.  “Not too tired, I hope…”

Haru shivered with pleasure, turning his head to meet Rin’s mouth with his own.  “No.”  The first kiss was a tender press, a quiet sound rising in Haru’s throat.  It felt like _weeks_ , not hours, since he’d last gotten to kiss Rin.

“Haru, the way you looked out there…”

“You, too…”

Rin’s lips parted against his and the kiss deepened, sweeps of tongue joining the gentle clash of their mouths.  It was a slow build of heat, flirting on the edge of getting out of hand, but they pulled away—breathless—before that happened, leaning their foreheads together.  Haru drew breaths of the moist air between their mouths, lifting one hand to Rin’s face. 

He brushed strands of hair back from Rin’s cheek, holding Rin’s gaze.  “I wouldn’t trade a second of this.”  _Being here with you._

Rin’s gaze warmed with pleasure and amusement.  “I could stand for it to be tonight, already.”

Haru smiled.  “Me, too.”

Rin drew him close, kissing him again.  “Haru, I love you.”

“Rin…”  He wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist, cuddling in with his head resting on Rin’s shoulder and Rin’s hand in his hair…

-x-

Sea salt hair spray was the dumbest thing Haru had ever heard of. 

“It’s to give you that textured, beach look,” Arita said as Haru sat in the styling chair, his eyes closed as she coated his hair with the stuff. 

“Why don’t I just stick my head in the ocean?”

“Well, you _could_ do that if you want to be picking sand and kelp out of your hair for days.  Not to mention, you’d mess up your makeup.”

_Nn.  It still sounds better._

Director Kaya met them outside of the locker room; only two garment bags remained on the rack.  “This is it—last outfit of the day.  You won’t be changing at the beach, so dress comfortably.  There are compression briefs to wear underneath if you choose and if you want to wear warmups over top for the transit, that’s fine, too.  Make sure to grab all your things since we won’t be coming back this way.  Got it?”

Haru nodded.

“Yup,” Rin said.

“Great!  Meet us out front, OK?”

Haru followed Rin into the locker room, each of them carrying garment bags with their names on them.  Rin’s hair did…shimmer a little with the salt spray, reminding Haru of Barceloneta Beach, as they got dressed after their swim.  _Before our first time together_.  It wasn’t bad, per se, getting sand in everything like they did that night…

In the last row of the locker room, they unzipped their bags. 

“Board shorts.”  Rin scowled.

“The Director showed us the pamphlet.”  _You knew this was coming, Rin._  

“Nn…”

The suits were riots of color—Haru’s had blues, greens, and yellows against navy while Rin’s had a coordinated pattern in reds, violets, and dusty mauve against black.  Matching T-shirts were in each bag—V-neck with the company logo and stylized waves on the front in white, blue, and gold.  Haru’s T-shirt was navy and Rin’s was dark gray.  In the bottom of the bags were the promised compression briefs—navy and black, respectively.

Haru changed his T-shirt first, then the lower half, shimmying into the tight briefs.

“You’re gonna wear those?” Rin asked, midway through working the black pair up his thighs.  “You don’t want to be free and feel the water?”  He snickered.

“I’ll be free with you later, Rin,” he said, tossing his lover a saucy look as he tugged the briefs up over his hips.  “It’s probably a bad idea if I’m free with you now.”

Rin dropped the tease immediately, clearing his throat roughly as he glanced away.

They finished dressing, lacing and tying off the board shorts.  Rin pulled on a pair of black and white warmup pants over his; Haru was perfectly comfortable without pants.  They gathered their things, plus their sunglasses, and headed out…

From the window seat in the van, Haru finally saw the Mediterranean.  The road was slightly back from the beach proper, but the strip of turquoise water beyond a grassy rise had him all but pressed against the glass.  Rin chuckled, his arm loose around Haru’s waist as he leaned close.

“Don’t get makeup on the window, Haru.”

“Shut up.  I’m not,” he said without turning.

It was only a five-minute drive past parks, plazas, kids’ play areas, and recreational facilities.  Nearer their destination, there were a few multi-story buildings along the street—cream stone with balconies—apartment buildings and hotels.  The van parked in front of a plaza with grass and palm trees, next to a small snack kiosk advertising ice cream with colorful banners. 

Haru climbed out into sunlight and heat, with sea breezes washing over him.  He drew a deep breath of the salty air, listening to the sound of waves lapping at the shore.  _Just like Barcelona._

Rin wrapped arms around his waist from behind, the two of them stealing a moment while the crew unloaded equipment from the van.  “This reminds you of…?”

“Yeah,” Haru smiled.  He glanced back at Rin.  “You too?”

Rin’s eyes sparkled with happiness.  “Yeah.”

The sound of a shutter interrupted their reverie.

Haseda already had her camera out, her equipment bag slung over her shoulder.  “Let’s go, you two,” she said, her eyes warm with amusement.

They crossed the plaza, heading down to the sand.  There were plenty of people sunbathing, families hanging out, kids playing in the water, but they found a spot that was less crowded. 

“I’ll trade you guys sunglasses,” Director Kaya said, handing them matching pairs with amber lenses.  “Your bracelets can stay on for the rest of the shoot, but those pants have to come off, Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hai,” Rin said, exhaling.  He let go of Haru’s hand long enough to strip off the warmups.

Rin’s legs were whiter than the sand.  Haru glanced away, feeling for his lover’s discomfort as the women’s gazes flicked past Rin’s knees.

“Hmm.  Water or bronzer?  It’s probably a little much to post-prod?” Kaya asked.

“I was gonna do mostly water anyway,” Haseda said, changing settings on her camera and taking some test shots of the horizon.  “For the sunset shots, it won’t be so obvious.”

“Sounds good.”  The director smiled.  “Sorry, Matsuoka.  Not meaning to make you feel self-conscious.  We might do bronzer in Rio, though, just so you’re prepared for that.”

“…Hai.”

Furutani and Arita appeared, carrying spray bottles of sunscreen.  “First thing’s first,” Furutani said, shaking the bottle he held.

“Nn…”  Haru dutifully pulled off his T-shirt, letting the guy spray him down.

When they were done, the photographer waved them down towards the water.  “For the first set of shots, I’m thinking…stripping off your T-shirts and running into the waves.  Nothing past thigh-deep until we’re done, OK?  That work for you, Nanase-kun?  Matsuoka-kun?  My assistant will hold your sunglasses for now.”

The hard part was gonna be not diving in once they hit the water.  Haru smiled to himself, pulling his T-shirt on.  _We’re pros at this_.  He looked at Rin.

Rin smiled back, an eager glint in his eyes as he smoothed his T-shirt.  “Let’s do it.”

“OK.  When I say…”  Haseda moved into position.  “Ready…now—”

-x-

Their skin was basted with sand and sea salt by the time the sun was casting long, crimson rays across the beach.  Haru was warm from so many shots with his body pressed subtly to Rin’s amidst the waves.  They’d ceased needing to talk a while ago, communicating in touches and stray looks they tried to hide from the camera.  Their photographer proved ubiquitous, however; Haru guessed they’d been successful about half of the time.  She never complained, though, just smiled and redirected them as necessary.

Haru still didn’t know what their evening arrangements were, but he was reasonably assured that a bed and privacy were forthcoming.  The lower the sun slipped in the sky, the more he anticipated it—finally getting to be alone with Rin.  It got harder to concentrate and follow directions, his fingers lingering against Rin’s skin whenever Haru got to touch him, his gaze falling to Rin’s lips and body, his heartrate slightly elevated as his nerves prickled with his lover’s proximity.

“Last shot.  Eyes here, Nanase-kun,” Haseda said.

Haru glanced back.  The water swirled around their ankles.  Their lower halves were still damp, the board shorts clinging like a second skin.  Haru’s left hip was pressed to Rin’s left, the two of them facing each other but offset, standing slightly angled to the camera.  His left hand was on Rin’s bare waist—Rin’s skin was gritty with sand, sticky with sunscreen—and Haru wondered if Tsuchiya had stopped paying attention.  Rin’s arms were casually looped around his shoulders; he could feel the leather of Rin’s bracelet against his back and Rin’s right thumb was purposefully dragging across the sensitive spot on the side of Haru’s neck.  There was barely veiled desire in Rin’s eyes—had been for a while—and their photographer hadn’t asked for anything different.

“…And, that’s a wrap.  We got it.”  Haseda lowered the camera, giving them a thumb’s up sign.

Haru leaned against Rin with a sigh, weary and impatient.  _I hope our hotel isn’t far away…_

“Great work, you guys!”  Director Kaya waved them over.

Haru reluctantly detangled himself from Rin, the two of them leaving the warm Mediterranean surf for the soft sand up the beach.

An assistant handed out towels and their T-shirts, placing their sandals on the sand for them.

“Thanks for putting up with everything—I know it’s not what you’re used to and a long day besides,” Kaya said.  “But we got fantastic material.  I’ll be able to send you some proofs within the week.  We’re gonna fast-track the whole project, so we’ll have this out before Rio.”

Haru nodded as if he were listening.   _Can we go now?_

“Thanks for the opportunity,” Rin said, uncharacteristically concise and direct as they finished drying off and dressing. 

“So, I’ll be in touch.”  They shook hands with Director Kaya and their photographer.  “Thanks again.  You can head back; Tsuchiya-san will take care of you from here.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

“Thanks,” Rin said.

With their fingers laced together, they made their way up the beach, passing the open-air restaurant where they’d taken a break for dinner, just before sunset.  Haru could still smell the mouthwatering aroma of salted fish, hot and fresh off the grill.

Tsuchiya met them at the plaza.  She slipped her Blackberry into her pants pocket as they approached.  “All done?”

Haru and Rin exchanged a glance.  “Seems like it,” Haru said.  _So you weren’t watching that last set…_

“Good.”  She checked her watch.  “Let’s get you situated so Coach Maekawa doesn’t get upset with me.  The hotel is across the street; I’ve already had your things taken to your room.”

The sun sank below the horizon as they crossed the _Calle Pacifico_ and entered a glass-front, seven-story building directly opposite the beach.  The lobby had glossy white floors with an atrium that was open all seven stories.  Contrasting columns and accent walls were black with lobby seating in cream and bright reddish-orange.  They bypassed the front desk, Tsuchiya taking them straight to the elevators on the right-hand side. 

Once they boarded, she pressed buttons five and six and produced a small folder of keycards.

“Here you are,” she said, handing the folder to Haru.  “Breakfast service starts at six-thirty.  Your transportation will be here at eight o’clock—meet in the lobby.  Do _not_ be late.”  Tsuchiya gave them both a stern look.

“Ah.”  They bowed their heads. 

The car slowed to a stop at the fifth floor.  She smiled at them before leaving.  “Good work today, both of you.”

They bowed deeper as she exited, not straightening until the doors closed.

Haru opened the key card folder as the elevator ascended. 

“Room number?” Rin asked, reclining against the back wall.

“Six-eleven.”

“Hm.”  He pushed off as the elevator stopped on the sixth floor.

They stepped out, a glass half-wall separating them from the open atrium.  Haru checked the placards as they went.  Room 611 was tucked into a corner, indicated by large silver numbers against black, next to a white door.  He slipped the key card into the slot on the handle.  When the light turned green, he opened the door…  The room beyond had white walls and blond wood flooring.  He stepped aside to let Rin in, noting the two twin beds with a nightstand in-between, beneath soft spot-lighting. 

 _I hope those aren’t bolted down_. 

The bedding was white with accents in black and pale green; the curtains were open to a dark night sky outside.  Haru paused to hang the privacy tag on the door before he closed it and flipped the lock.

Rin was already at the windows.  “Haru, the water’s right there.”

His eyes widened.  He joined Rin…sure enough, they were on the southeast side of the building, facing the beach, though it was hard to see in the dark.

“But where’s the bathroom?”  Rin wandered off, opening various doors in the background while Haru stayed at the window, peering at the beach through his own reflection in the glass.

_We were just down there…_

Haru heard another door open and Rin went quiet.  “Um…Haru?”

“Hm?”  He turned, taking in the startled look on Rin’s face.

“There’s a whole other room in here…”

Haru joined Rin at the door, inhaling at the sight of a second bedroom, this one with a king-sized bed and an entire wall of windows looking out over the Mediterranean.  “Do you think there’s some mistake?”

Rin shrugged.  “The key worked, didn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

A slow grin spread across Rin’s face. 

Haru’s pulse quickened with a fresh rush of excitement.  They explored the rest of the room, finding their bags on stands just inside the larger bedroom.  The bathroom alone was bigger than Haru’s apartment—there was a glass-walled shower and a separate jet tub that could probably fit a family of four.

Haru was drawn to the wall of windows.  He found latches and slipped them, opening the windows to let in the sea breeze and the sound of the waves. 

“Oh, let’s—”  Rin wandered off again. 

The room went dark as Rin found the lights and turned them off.  Haru’s eyes adjusted quickly, taking in the spots of lights from the restaurants down on the beach and the silvery ribbons as the waves broke against the sand.  The stars were out, bright swaths above an indigo sea—like the night he traveled here to be with Rin, almost a week ago.

“You can see it better this way,” Rin said, coming back to his side.  Rin’s frame was gilded with starlight and the warmth of the city lights; his face still had a faint glow from the makeup.  Rin was looking at him, not the sea.

“Yeah,” Haru whispered, taking hold of Rin’s arm and tugging him close.  Their lips met, soft and gentle…one kiss that turned into several, with arms winding around each other and fingers digging into salt-sprayed hair.

Their clothes soon littered the floor, making a path to the shower…and their towels, later, left a trail to the bed—

Their wet skin and hair dampened the sheets as they took turns pushing each other down, the crash of the tumbling waves mingling in Haru’s ears with their breathing and muffled groans.  It wasn’t about asserting dominance at all; it was about giving, about bringing pleasure to the one he loved.  The lights were still off; Haru ran his hands and mouth over Rin’s body by the starlight from the window, lingering in those sensitive spots he knew Rin liked, while discovering new things that made Rin gasp or choke back a soft curse.  They’d only been together a handful of times; there remained whole vistas yet to learn and explore…  Haru was in no hurry.  He wanted a lifetime’s worth of these intimacies with Rin.

A rougher grunt hit Haru’s ears, hands pushing at his shoulders.  He relented, catching his breath—only to find himself flipped onto his back—  Rin was direct and merciless, Haru shuddering with the pleasure of it, losing his mind.  His lashes fluttered against his skin, his gasps directed at the ceiling as Rin brought him rapidly towards—

It took all his willpower to nudge Rin and pull away.  But he didn’t want things to end so soon—not this time.  As Rin sat up, Haru took a moment to breathe, letting his body cool a degree or two.  Rin brushed hair back from his face, his chest heaving, his eyes tracking Haru’s.

Haru pushed himself up to sit, wrapping arms and legs around his lover and pressing their hips flush.  His eyes fell closed at how good it felt—different from what Rin had been doing, but the way they trembled together, groaned together— _this_ was what he wanted tonight.  Arms locked around his shoulders; Rin’s legs hooked around Haru’s back, one heel digging in comfortably just to the right of Haru’s spine.  Rin’s hands slid up Haru’s back into his hair, pulling their mouths together, demanding the kiss that Haru gave back eagerly—

 _Exactly_ this.

The sound of the surf mixed with their harsh breathing, after.  They were both shaking, skin gradually cooling, slowly catching their breath…  Haru tightened his arms, their sweat-slicked foreheads touching.  “Rin…?”

“Yeah?”  Rin opened his eyes, the crimson depths sweetly sated and drowsy in the dark room.

Haru smiled.  “Just…I love you.”  

Rin’s eyes gleamed with an influx of moisture at the same time he snorted with laughter.  “Haru.”  Rin squeezed him back.  “I love _you_.”

* * *

Monday, July 11th, 2016

* * *

Haru snuck out of bed before dawn, while it was still dark.  He was torn—leaving his lover when they were sprawled naked across the sheets—but…  He closed himself in the bathroom, just flicking the switch for the nightlight, and started filling the tub. 

It took a while—long enough that he was surprised Rin didn’t wake up from the noise—but _finally_ he was sinking into bliss, the feel of the water luxurious against his bare skin.  Haru laid his head back and closed his eyes…

Later—it could’ve been hours or just minutes—he heard the door open.

“Mm.”  Rin stifled a yawn.  “This is where you went, huh?”

“You knew I’d be here.”  Haru opened his eyes. 

Rin was standing in the doorway in his underwear.  He rolled his eyes, heading into the separate compartment where the toilet was.

When he came back, he stopped beside the tub, his gaze flicking to the water.  “You’re naked in there?”

“I take normal baths sometimes,” Haru said, eyeing his lover.  He lifted a brow.  “Are you coming in?”

Rin’s cheeks reddened.  He stripped off his briefs.

Haru sat up, bending his legs to make room. 

Rin stuck one toe in and winced.  “Haru, can’t you ever take a _hot_ bath?”

“It’s warm,” Haru said.  _I made sure it was on the warm side, just in case…_

Rin was still scowling as he climbed in, settling with his back turned.

Haru folded Rin into his arms, Rin leaning back with a sigh, his head resting on Haru’s left shoulder.  There was plenty of room; even with his legs to either side of Rin’s body, Haru’s knees weren’t hitting the sides of the tub.  Though, he preferred it anyway—hugging Rin’s torso with his thighs.

“I’m not squishing anything?” Rin asked.

Haru shook his head.  “Nope.” 

“Mm.”  Rin smiled, closing his eyes.

Haru reveled in the feel of Rin’s hair against his face—especially without all that product and makeup in the way.  “How’d you sleep?”

“Good,” Rin said.  He cleared his throat lightly.  “Really good.”

Haru smiled, kissing his lover’s cheek.

“You?”  Rin lifted one hand to Haru’s arms.  The other rested against Haru’s left knee, the bracelet a pleasant texture against his skin.

“Same.”  _I love waking up to you_.  He tightened his arms around Rin.  “This is the first time we’ve taken a morning bath together.”

Rin’s eyes opened, his face clouding with thought.  “Na, Haru…”

Haru stilled, paying attention.  “Hm?”

Rin drew a breath, then seemed to hesitate.  He slumped back against Haru’s chest.  “Maybe it’s too soon to talk about that stuff,” he muttered.  Color darkened his cheeks.

 _What stuff?_   Haru wanted to ask, but he didn’t, waiting.  If it was something Rin didn’t want to talk about, he wasn’t going to pry…even though he was desperately curious now.

“ _Tch_.”  Rin snorted, as if irritated with himself.  He drew his legs up, twisting half-way in Haru’s arms so that they were looking at each other.  Rin’s gaze was half-glare, half…afraid.  “When we get home after Rio—back to Tokyo—move in with me.”

Haru’s eyes flared wide.  _Rin…_   His heart pounded in his chest, warmth flooding him.  When the initial shock faded, Haru smoothed his face, lifting a brow.  “Or you could move in with me.”

“My bath is bigger,” Rin said.

“Your bath is in the same room as the toilet.  You won’t do your business if I’m taking a bath.”

It was Rin’s turn to raise an eyebrow.  “We’ve never been in that situation.  How would you know—?”

Haru nodded towards the separate room with the toilet.  “‘Cause you just went in there and closed the door.  It’s not weird, Rin, wanting privacy for that stuff.  I’m just saying, my place is better.”

Rin’s face reddened.  “You don’t have an _oven_.”

“ _That’s_ why you don’t want to move in with me?”

“ _No_.  But I like to, sometimes—”  Rin cut off abruptly, rubbing a wet hand across his brow.  “Fuck, I can’t believe we’re fighting about this.”  He dropped his hand back into the water, meeting Haru’s gaze.  “Do you want to live with me when we go home?”

“Yeah.  Of course, I do.”  _More than anything._

Rin’s face softened.  He chuckled, shifting onto his right knee and wrapping wet arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “We’re such idiots sometimes.”  He touched his forehead to Haru’s.  “Let’s find a place together.  Something that can be…ours.”

Haru sucked air, moisture stinging his eyes.  “Rin…”

Rin smiled, his gaze alight with pleasure and excitement. 

Seeing Rin so happy only made the burn in Haru’s eyes worse.  The glow was spreading through his chest as he leaned in, capturing Rin’s lips—

Rin returned the kiss eagerly, pressing him back—

Haru welcomed the stirring of desire, tangling their legs together as he settled, comfortably, beneath Rin.

Rin broke from his lips, laughing softly.  “We’re going to be late.”

“We’re not gonna be late.”  Haru threaded wet fingers into Rin’s hair, waiting for Rin to decide.

Rin’s breath came out in a puff, his eyes heating.  “OK, but I better not have to explain another bathtub bruise…”  He dipped his head, his trailing kisses over Haru’s jaw, down the side of his neck—

Haru’s breath hitched as shivers of pleasure raked his body.  He pulled Rin closer.  “I’d make sure we matched.”

“Haru, that’s not better.”

-x-

They were in the lobby precisely at 8am, with no seconds to spare and hair that was still damp.  Tsuchiya glanced at her watch but said nothing, pointing them to the front door where her subordinate waited to bear them back to Sierra Nevada.  Haru could’ve sworn he saw her smile, though, as she turned away and went back to her Blackberry.

This time, Rin didn’t complain when Haru climbed into the backseat of the car with his gear bag.  As they pulled away from the curb, he pulled out three cans and two pairs of chopsticks.  “ _Shoyu_ , _miso_ , or water?”

Rin’s nose crinkled, his eyes flicking over the offerings.  He sighed.  “ _Miso_.”

“It’s my favorite kind, you know,” Haru said, as he parted with the precious can.

“Mine too,” Rin said.  “‘Cause it reminds me of how you make it.  Yours is way better, though.”

Haru brightened.  “Then, when we get home…”

Rin shook his head.  “No, you’re not cooking that every night.”

“Nn.”  Haru pouted, popping open his can of _saba_ in _shoyu._

Two hours later, they were back at the training facility.  Haru and Rin had just enough time to drop their bags in their room—including all the suits and clothes they kept from the shoot—and change before heading down to the pool.

They walked out in their square legs, meeting cat calls from their teammates.

“Nice eyebrows,” Sada said, lowering her water bottle.

“Thanks,” Haru said. 

Rin just blushed.

Otani popped over, a towel draped across her shoulders.  “Wow, you’re not kidding.  Wax, or…?”

Haru shook his head.

“Gosh, how long did that take?”

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin scowled.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Coach Maekawa said, twirling a marker as she joined them.  “You can compare eyebrows later.  Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun—”  She pointed to the pool.  “Six hundred for warm ups, then I’ll have your set.”  She smiled.  “I’m gonna burn all that extra oxygen right out of you.”

Rin grunted as he turned away, lowering his goggles into place.  “Great,” he muttered under his breath.

Maekawa lifted a brow.  “What’s that, Matsuoka-kun?  You’d like to do descending five hundreds today?  I wasn’t planning on it, but sure, I can work that in.”

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru fixed his lover with a glare.

Up on the block, Rin glanced back apologetically before he set his feet and dove in.

-x-

They ate lunch early, loading their plates with extra portions to make up for their lack of breakfast.  Sitting near the windows in their Team Japan warmups, they both scrolled through their inboxes on their phones, catching up on a day’s worth of missed messages.

“I don’t get it,” Haru said, tapping through yet another ‘thank you’ email from a member of yesterday’s crew.  “All we did was show up.  They paid for everything and gave us stuff.”

Across from him, Rin shrugged.  “They needed models, right?  If they don’t sell swimsuits, they don’t have jobs.”

“I guess.”  Haru sipped his milk.

“Did you see the message from Makoto about Nagisa’s birthday next month?”

Haru nodded.  “Isn’t it early to be planning that?  It’s a couple weeks away.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  “Planning’s important, dummy.  Most things don’t happen in an instant.”

“Mm.”  Haru glanced out the window, propping his elbow on the table and leaning his chin on his palm.  “When I asked to come here—”

“I said _most_ things, Haru.”

They headed back to their room, after, strolling leisurely.  Rin’s arm was comfortably draped around Haru’s shoulders.  Whenever they were alone in the hallway, Haru would reach up, hooking his fingertips into Rin’s.  He liked the way it made Rin smile, pink lighting along Rin’s cheekbones.

Back in their room, they sorted through their new suits and clothes, Rin gathering into a basket what needed to be laundered. 

“We missed laundry day,” Rin said, sighing at the large pile of clothes.

Haru stripped off his warmups, adding them on top.  “Nap first,” he said, climbing between the sheets in his square legs.

“Haru…”

“I’m tired after those descending five hundreds, Rin.”  He curled up on his side of the divide, pulling the covers up.  _That king-size bed was nice._ A bed that big would fill his whole apartment in Tokyo, but _maybe someday…_   He closed his eyes.

“Not gonna let that go, huh?”  Fabric rustled, which Haru hoped meant Rin was undressing.

Haru listened to the sounds of bare feet against the tile floor, curtains being drawn.  Moments later, Rin got into bed, stretching out beside him.

“Tonight?” Haru asked.

“More fifties?”

“Yeah.”  Haru stifled a yawn.

Rin scooted closer, wrapping an arm around his waist.  “Yeah.  Thanks, Haru.”

“Mm.”  He smiled and fell asleep.

-x-

They snuck back to the pool after 9pm, waving at a couple of the late-night regulars from other Olympic teams.  _It’s kind of amazing we haven’t gotten caught yet._   Haru pressed his goggles into place as he stepped up onto the lane six block.  _We’ve been doing this since Wednesday night._ Maybe Coach Maekawa knew and she just wasn’t saying anything about it.  She still hadn’t added fifties back into their practice regimen.

Rin was on his right in lane five.  He looked focused, determined…and pensive as he considered the water.

 _I know you can do this, Rin._   Haru rolled his shoulders.  “Two hundred to warm up?”

Rin nodded.  “Yeah.”

They set their feet, diving when the hand on the pace clock reached twelve—

…Minutes later, they were back up on the blocks, loose and ready to go. 

“One breath,” Haru said.

Rin inhaled deeply, relaxing a little.  “Ah.”

They did single-breath runs two nights ago on Saturday.  Starting here again was good, Haru figured.  _You haven’t lost any ground, Rin._   If anything, their time at sea-level should help…

Rin stretched his arms over his head and swung them down, nodding.  “Yeah,” he said, confidence in his voice.  “Let’s do it.”

Haru smiled to himself as he bent down to grasp the block.  “Ready…”  He watched the second-hand, breathing like Rin taught him... 

They dove in unison, breaking the water’s surface and plunging beneath.  Haru kept his head down as he went to stroke, sprinting.  He took his one breath around thirty-five meters, surprised to see Rin surging past him, one lane over.  He chased Rin to the wall, finishing three whole strokes after.

Haru popped up, stunned.  He raked off his cap and goggles.  “Did you just—?”

Rin was clinging to the side with his head down and chest heaving.  Wet hair hung in his face and—from the muffled sounds—Haru couldn’t tell if he was crying or celebrating—

Haru ducked under the line into Rin’s lane and surfaced, brushing water from his face.  “Rin?”  He clung to the line with one hand.

Rin thrust hair from his face with flourish, grinning broadly with tears shining in his eyes.  “Haru—”

Then Rin was tackling him; they fell back against the line in a tangle of arms, legs, and a massive splash.  Haru’s left arm got trapped between his body and the plastic line, a sharp, brief pain running through his wrist.  _Why don’t they use a softer material?_   People were always hitting the lines.

The stray thought got lost as Rin hugged him, his face pressed into Haru’s hair, his warm tears landing on Haru’s shoulder.

“Haru, I did it.  I couldn’t have done it without you.”  His voice broke with sobs as they bobbed in the water.

“Rin…”  Haru wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist, underwater.  “I knew you could—”

Then Rin was kissing him full on the lips, even though they weren’t alone—

“ _Hey, did you just do a breathless fifty?_ ” a guy asked from behind the blocks in accented English.

Rin pulled away, his eyes bright with excitement.  “ _Yes, that was_ ,” he said, grabbing the start holds and pulling himself from the pool.

“ _No shit!  That’s awesome!_ ”

Rin laughed.  “ _Thank you!  It’s something I’ve been training for, for a long time._ ”

Haru smiled to himself, warm throughout.  He ducked underwater, swimming through lane six to the side of the pool.  Setting his cap and goggles on the tile, he shook the water from his hair before planting his palms on the side and hoisting himself up—

A stabbing pain shot up his left arm, the limb buckling beneath his weight—

Haru dropped back into the pool, going cold except for his left wrist, which throbbed.  _What just happened?_   He’d thrown arms into the lane line before; it never hurt like this…  Haru clung to the side of the pool with his right hand.  He slowly lifted his left arm from the water, droplets running off the limb as he carefully rotated his wrist—

The pain left him gasping.  Haru turned his whole arm over instead...  The redness—the start of swelling around the joint—was unmistakable.  _Oh God_.  He felt dizzy, his breath threading past his lips as his arm—or maybe his whole body—shook.

“Haru?”  Rin’s wet footsteps slapped against the tile.  “ _Haru_ —”  His voice sharpened with alarm. 

Then Rin was hauling him from the pool by his right arm, Haru tucked his left wrist against his chest to protect it, helping as much as he could.

Rin had him by both shoulders.  “What’s wrong?”

The magnitude hit him all at once as he looked into Rin’s eyes, as his wrist continued to throb.  He didn’t know how bad the injury was, but it almost didn’t matter.  Rio was in less than a month.  Medaling with Rin…shared podiums…relays…racing in adjacent lanes—it all crumbled before his eyes, his vision blurring with hot tears.

“My wrist…”  His voice was a trembling whisper, barely audible.

As the color drained from Rin’s face, Haru understood—like never before—what _fragile_ meant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Centro Acuático de Málaga](http://www.inacua.com/malaga/centro-especializado-de-tecnificacion-deportiva-de-natacion/)


	24. Twenty-one hours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/24/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).

The sound of the water and the shrill pulse of the whistle faded.  Rin’s hands went numb as they stood by the side of the pool, his head spinning.  _Because I pushed you.  The line…  Oh God—_   His body went cold, even the warmth of Haru’s shoulders beneath his palms felt like ice—

“Rin…”  Haru’s voice was a hard whisper; Rin’s gaze snapped to trembling blue eyes, to fear and panic barely held at bay—

 _Fuck!  Get it together, Matsuoka!_  

Other swimmers started to gather.  “ _You should probably get some ice on that_ ,” a guy said in English.

“ _The clinic’s open all night,_ ” a girl said.  “ _Just across the hall_.”

 _Right.  I know that._   Rin nodded.  “ _Thanks_.”  He grabbed Haru’s right hand.  “Haru—”

Haru gave a jerky nod and Rin tugged, heading swiftly for the locker room.

Inside, they skipped the shower, Rin helping Haru dry off and get dressed in his warmup pants and T-shirt. 

“Do you want the jacket too?”

Haru shook his head.

Rin threw on some clothes, grabbing their stuff—

“Bracelet.”

He stopped, turning as Haru’s hand slipped from his.

“I want to wear it.”  Haru’s quiet monotone frightened him. 

 _You haven’t sounded like this since they told us about the water issues in Rio._   “OK,” Rin said, setting their bags down.  He found Haru’s bracelet in the outer pocket of his gear bag. 

Haru held out his right hand.

Rin wrapped the leather around Haru’s wrist, his hands starting to shake as he tied the bracelet on, tears welling up in his eyes.  _This is my fault.  This is_ all _my fault.  If I hadn’t pushed you…_   He managed to finish, then tied his own on by himself, using his right hand and his teeth.  The task forced him to concentrate, clearing his head a little.  “Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything?”

“No.”

“OK.”  Rin picked up their stuff again…

-x-

The clinic had a small waiting area with a scatter of chairs and a table with a few magazines.  Rin rang the bell at the front desk. 

Moments later, a woman came out in teal scrubs, her black hair tamed into a ponytail.  “ _Buenas noches._ ”  Her brown eyes went straight to Haru’s left arm, which he still held against his chest.  “ _Your wrist, Se_ _ñor?_ ”  She moved around to the door, opening it for them.  “ _Let’s have a look.  Your name?_ ”  She had a soothing voice. 

“Haruka Nanase,” Haru said.

Rin stepped aside, letting Haru go first.

There was one large exam room with a few standing partitions.  The walls were white with various posters of anatomy; cabinets and pieces of medical equipment lined the room.  The woman gestured them both to blue chairs.  “ _My name is Marta.  I’m one of the nurses here._ ”  She sat down at a console, pulling up information on a computer.  “ _I’ll take your vitals, Se_ _ñor Nanase._ ”  She glanced at Rin.  “ _And you are?_ ”

“Rin Matsuoka.”

The nurse nodded.  She washed up and gathered her instruments.  “ _You’re both with Coach Maekawa?_ ”

“ _S_ _í_ ,” Rin said.

“ _Have you contacted her already?_ ”

Rin inhaled.  “ _No.  I should_ —”

“ _You can use the phone outside, Señor Matsuoka, if you don’t have your own_ …”

Rin set their things down, fishing his cell phone from the outside zipper pocket of his gear bag.  “Haru, I’ll be right back, OK?”

Haru nodded, not saying anything as he sat down stiffly in one of the blue chairs, his wrist cradled in his lap.

Rin’s heart plummeted, a lump forming in his throat as he slipped out the door into the hallway.  He hated seeing Haru like this, but especially—  _Fuck!_ His eyes burned as he scrolled through his contacts, replaying it in his mind, the way he’d tackled Haru, the way they fell against the line...  He’d done it a hundred times, never even considering something like this.  _Meanwhile, I’m the one yelling at him for going off the high dive, always telling him to be careful—_

Maekawa answered on the second ring.  “ _Matsuoka, what’s wrong?_ ” 

Rin slumped against the wall, gripping the phone.  _I guess you know this is the only reason we’d be calling this late…_   He swallowed with effort.  “It’s Haru’s wrist.  We’re at the clinic.”

“ _I’ll be right there_.” 

Rin lowered the phone, feeling sick to his stomach as he went back into the exam room.

The nurse was removing a blood pressure cuff from Haru’s right arm.  She returned to the computer, typing briefly.  “ _Does anywhere else hurt?  Did you hit your head?_ ”

“ _No_ ,” Haru said.

“ _OK.  Let’s get ice on that for now.  We’ll set up for some X-rays.  The doctor will be here shortly_.”  She set him up with an ice pack and a cushion, then spoke into an intercom panel on the wall.

A man in teal scrubs came into the room.  He and the nurse conversed briefly in Spanish before he headed to the other side of the room, working on a piece of equipment.

Rin sat down in the other chair, next to Haru.  His hands curled against his knees.  He wanted to reach out, to hold Haru’s hand and offer some kind of reassurance, but the guilt made him hesitate. 

Haru’s head was bowed, hair falling in his face and obscuring his eyes.  He held the ice pack against the back of his left wrist.  On his right arm, the shark and dolphin on his bracelet caught the overhead lighting, flashing white as Haru shifted.  Against the leather, it almost seemed like the two figures were bobbing in the waves…

Rin realized with a start that Haru’s gaze was fixed on the bracelet, not his injured wrist.  Rin’s eyes stung.  “Haru—”  He reached over, setting his left arm next to Haru’s right, their bracelets and arms touching.

Haru drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.  His fingers left the ice pack to grasp Rin’s hand tightly.

Rin turned his hand palm-up, lacing their fingers together and squeezing back.  _We’re both scared_.  But Haru’s hand was warm and strong and real against his…somehow that made breathing easier.  _I hope it helps you, too._

Nurse Marta left the room.  In the distance, Rin heard her talking in Spanish with someone else.

Moments later, the door opened, admitting a doctor in a white coat over navy blue scrubs and Coach Maekawa. 

“ _Buenas noches, Señor Nanase.  I’m Doctor Tom_ _às_ ,” the woman said.  She had wavy, chin-length black hair.  “ _Let’s have a look at your wrist_.”  She sat down on the rolling stool, first glancing at the computer screen before coming over to Haru’s side.

Haru lifted his left arm as she indicated.

Maekawa wore black warmup pants and a Koutei University sweatshirt.  Her face was free of makeup, her hair gathered up into a messy bun. 

Rin waited for her to pull him aside and demand an explanation, but she never did. 

The doctor began the exam, touching various parts of Haru’s wrist and hand with careful, steady fingers.  At one point, Haru tensed up.

“ _That right there_ ,” she said.

Haru nodded.

“ _How’s your feeling out here?_ ” she asked, touching the tips of his fingers.  “ _Extend your fingers for me._   _Stop if it hurts.  …Good_.”  She sat back.  “ _I don’t feel any deformation or unusual looseness.  We’ll take X-rays next._ ”  She turned away, saying something in Spanish to the technician.

The technician nodded, just finishing what he was doing with the equipment.  “ _S_ _í_.” 

“ _OK, Señor Nanase, let’s move over here_ ,” Doctor Tomàs said.

Haru let go of Rin’s hand, passing off the ice pack and cushion as he got up, going with the doctor.

Rin held the items in his lap, the ice pack burning cold against his fingertips.

Maekawa laid a hand on his shoulder.  “I’m gonna step out for a minute, Matsuoka.”

He nodded.

Across the room, the technician arranged Haru’s wrist on the X-ray table.  Haru was seated with a lead apron draped across his lap.

“…Sorry about the hour, Coach Fujino.”  The door was ajar, Maekawa’s quiet voice coming from the other side.  “Hai.  A training accident. Nanase-kun has an injured wrist.”

 _I guess our damp hair and gear bags give us away…_   Rin hugged the cushion, half wishing it was the stuffed dolphin instead.

“Don’t know yet,” Maekawa said.  “We’re doing the X-rays now.  I was going to leave a message at the Institute, for when everyone gets in.  I assume, if the X-rays are clean—”

Her voice was calm.  Everyone was so damn calm, like they’d done this a thousand times before.  Maybe they had.  Rin had never had anything worse than scrapes and bruises…and a couple of minor muscle pulls when he’d overdone it at the gym.  The only major injury he had any experience with was Sousuke’s rotator cuff tear—  _Fuck_.  His fingers dug into the cushion.  _I’m not thinking about that._

“I’ll ask.  I don’t know how hard it is to do tonight versus wait for the morning…”  She paused.  “That’s what I was thinking.”

There was a gentle buzzing sound from the equipment across the room.  The doctor was glancing at a computer screen.  She nodded and the technician went over to reposition Haru’s arm.

“I can find out.  I was going to get in touch with the onsite rep.  …I’ll do that.  …Thank you, Coach Fujino.”  Maekawa’s footsteps approached the door; Rin felt her gaze, but didn’t look up.  “It’s…hard to tell.  …Hai.  …Hai.”  Her voice retreated.  “Hai.  Thank you, Coach Fujino.”  There was a longer pause and some key taps.  When Maekawa spoke again, she was using more formal language.  “Iwata-san?  Forgive me for disturbing you so late…  I’m here at the clinic with Nanase-kun.  He’s got an injured wrist from a training accident…”  She exhaled.  “Not by much.  Depending on the X-ray results, I want to see about getting further tests done tonight—”

“ _Last one, Señor_ ,” the technician said, moving Haru’s wrist again. 

After another moment in front of the screen, the doctor folded her arms, saying something in Spanish to the technician. 

The technician removed the lead apron.  “ _You’re all done,_ ” he said.

“ _You can go back and sit down, Señor Nanase_ ,” the doctor said.  “ _We’ve gotten all the images we need_.”

Haru came back to the blue chair next to Rin’s.  He took the ice pack and cushion—

“Haru, I’m…”  Rin’s voice broke.  _Sorry_ sounded so inadequate…

Haru looked at him, their eyes meeting for the first time since the pool.  Haru’s eyes were haunted with fear, gleaming with unshed tears, but he gripped Rin’s hand again.

Rin saw himself reflected in Haru’s gaze—he was a mess, afraid and pale.  Their eyes fell to their clasped hands, to white knuckles and the matching bracelets on their wrists while the doctor and technician conferred in Spanish.

Maekawa came back into the room, slipping her phone into the pocket of her warmup pants.

“ _Señor Nanase_.”  The doctor returned, sitting at the computer terminal and pulling up the X-rays.  She moved the screen so they could see it.

Rin held his breath—

She pointed to the X-ray with the tip of a pen.  “ _Here’s our area of concern, given your swelling and discomfort.  I don’t see any fractures.  We will send this to a specialist, since I know you want to be extra sure, but it appears your wrist is only sprained_.”

 _Oh thank God._   Rin’s exhale was mirrored by Haru’s.  It was a glimmer of hope, no matter how faint.  A sprain could still be bad; a torn ligament could require surgery.  He didn’t know much about this stuff.  Damnit, where was Gou with her encyclopedic sports medicine knowledge when he needed her?

“ _The equipment we have here won’t tell us the severity of the sprain_ ,” the doctor said.  “ _You’ll need an MRI for that_.”

“ _Is there any way you can refer us tonight?_ ” Coach Maekawa asked. 

The doctor glanced at the clock.  She reached over for the intercom.

Nurse Marta answered in Spanish, the two sharing a quick exchange.

“ _We’ll see what we can do,_ ” Doctor Tomàs said.

“Nanase-kun.”  Maekawa sat down in the chair on Haru’s left.  “Coach Fujino is getting a hold of the orthopedic specialists at the Sports Sciences institute, back in Tokyo.  We’d like to have the additional tests done tonight, so the results can be sent back to them for immediate review.  That way, we can have a diagnosis first thing tomorrow morning.”  Her gaze was soft with compassion.  “Do you think you can manage?  We’ll have to go down to Granada.  It’s going to be a bit of a long night.”

Haru nodded.  “Hai.”  Then he paused, his face clouding.

“Nanase-kun?”

Haru looked down.  “Are we in trouble for breaking curfew?”

“Oh _God_ ,” she whispered, laying her hand on Haru’s shoulder.  “Nanase, I gave up trying to limit your pool time the first week you arrived at Koutei.  These things _happen._   They happen fast…and most of the time, your coach or trainer is right there with you.”  Maekawa shook her head.  “I don’t know a single professional athlete who hasn’t dealt with some kind of injury over the course of their career, myself included.”  She squeezed his shoulder.  “So, no, you’re not in trouble for spending extra time in the pool.  If you were sneaking out to party and get drunk, we’d be having a different conversation…”

“Mn.”  Haru lifted his head, his expression easing the tiniest bit.

The door opened, admitting the nurse and one of their sponsor reps—the same guy who shepherded them to and from Málaga—

 _Was that just this morning?_   It felt like ages ago.

Coach Maekawa stood up.  “Iwata-san.”

The rep was still dressed formally in a button-down shirt and slacks.  He carried a small briefcase.  “I’ve gotten a hold of Tsuchiya-san.  She’s made all of the arrangements and she’ll meet us at the hospital in Granada.”  The rep eyed them briefly.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, do you mind changing before we leave?  If we could avoid announcing ourselves that would be preferable.”

Rin looked down at his and Haru’s Team Japan apparel.  “Ah.”

Meanwhile, the doctor and nurse were speaking rapidly in Spanish.  “ _I’ll get the paperwork together_ ,” Doctor Tomàs said, coming over.  “ _And we need to splint your wrist before you go, Se_ _ñor Nanase._ ”   

“Matsuoka-kun—” Maekawa turned to him.  “Could you pull together what the two of you need and bring things down, including a change of clothes for Nanase-kun?  Avoid any clothing with metal—zippers, stuff like that—if you can manage it.  IDs, any personal effects you can’t live without for a couple of hours.  I don’t anticipate needing to stay overnight down there.”

“Hai.”  Rin stood up. 

Haru glanced up at him.  His blue eyes were calmer now—not settled, but not panicked either.

Rin squeezed Haru’s hand.  “I’ll be fast.”

Haru nodded, letting go.

-x-

Rin took the stairs.  He had to keep moving.  If he stopped, it would all catch up with him and he couldn’t afford that.  Not when Haru needed him. 

In their room, he dumped their gear bags on the bed.  Rin grabbed the backpack he used for their overnight in Málaga, shaking out half of the contents and repacking what they needed.  Passports, their medical forms, wallets, cellphones and chargers…  From their suitcases, he pulled fresh sets of clothes for each of them.  And, for some reason, toothbrushes and toothpaste seemed necessary.  He finished packing, then stripped naked, tossing his things onto the laundry pile and dressing in a dark gray T-shirt, clean underwear, and comfortable, burgundy pants. 

Swinging the backpack onto his shoulder, he was almost out the door when he stopped and turned back.  _Saba_.  Like hell he was leaving without that.  Rin transferred cans from Haru’s gear bag to his backpack.  Then, _fuck it all_ , he grabbed the stuffed shark and plush dolphin off their nightstands.  Haru might want one and—if not—he did, damnit.  Rin tucked the toys under his arm and headed out the door.

Downstairs at the clinic, Iwata and Maekawa were in the waiting room.

“The car should be here,” Iwata said.  “Bring Nanase-kun to the lobby as soon as you both are ready.”

“Hai.”  Rin nodded, heading back to the exam room.

Haru was still sitting in the blue chair.  The splint was white plastic, encasing the top and bottom of his wrist from halfway up his forearm nearly to his fingertips.  It was secured by Velcro straps and he was frowning at it slightly.

Haru looked up when Rin entered.  His gaze caught on the shark and dolphin Rin carried…and his eyes softened infinitesimally, glassy with moisture.  He averted his gaze quickly.

 _Haru…_   Rin set the stuffed animals on a vacant blue chair.  He lowered the backpack, pulling out a set of clothes.

“ _You can use this_ ,” Nurse Marta said, rolling a free-standing partition into place around them, shielding the two of them from the rest of the room.  “ _I just have a few things to finish up.  Let me know if you need any assistance._ ”

Rin cleared his throat lightly, trying to dislodge a hot lump of emotion.  “Haru, I brought…”

Haru got up, pulling off his T-shirt one-handed.  “That’s what you picked for me?”

Rin looked down at the things he held.  In one hand, he had the black shark T-shirt that Haru typically slept in.  In his other hand were navy blue and white warmup pants…  “I guess…it clashes, huh?”

“It’ll be dark,” Haru said, lifting his arms for the T-shirt. 

Rin gingerly worked the left sleeve over Haru’s splint, then smoothed the garment over Haru’s shoulders and down his chest. 

“Did you bring underwear?” Haru asked.

“Yeah.”

Rin helped more with this part, since the splint rendered all but Haru’s fingertips immobile on his left hand.  He loosened the cord-tie on Haru’s square legs, peeling the suit and warmup pants down until he got past Haru’s thighs and could more easily strip the clothing off.

“I guess you’re winning all the undressing contests for a while,” Haru said.

Rin snorted with a broken laugh, his eyes awash with tears.  “Haru…”  He helped Haru step into a fresh pair of boxer briefs and the navy-blue warmup pants, pulling the clothes up into place until Haru took over.

Rin stood up, wiping his tears with the back of his right arm.  “Haru, I’m sorry.”

Arms wrapped around his waist, the splint feeling odd and bulky against his back.  “Rin, it was an accident.”

“But…”

“Just…”  Haru tucked his face against Rin’s throat, a tremor running through his body.  His breath came out ragged.  “Just hug me, OK?”

 _Oh God_.  Rin circled Haru’s shoulders with his arms, wrapping his lover in a fierce embrace.  _I’m never letting go_.  Haru shuddered against him, his right hand clutching a fistful of Rin’s T-shirt.  Rin’s eyes burned; he pressed his face to Haru’s hair.  _I’m never, ever letting go._

-x-

It was a forty-five minute drive down into Granada.  The sun had set a while ago; the night was clear and star-filled with a quarter moon low in the western sky.  Rin and Haru had the backseat of the van to themselves.  They were pressed against one another; Haru was at the window, elevating his wrist atop the shark plush in his lap.  Rin’s left arm was around Haru’s shoulders, his fingers laced together with Haru’s right hand.  With his other arm, he clutched the stuffed dolphin. 

The simple comfort of touch made things easier.  Fatigue played a factor, too.  It was late and they should have been curled up in bed together, blissfully asleep…  The adrenaline was taking a break; Haru’s breaths matched his own—quiet and rhythmic—and Haru’s hair was soft against Rin’s cheek.  There was just a sour feeling of dread that remained, churning in Rin’s stomach…

The van pulled up a circular drive in front of a well-lit hospital complex.  There were walls of windows; the siding was reddish-brown under the glow of fluorescent lights.  The four of them climbed out of the van, Rin and Maekawa gathering their bags from the back while their sponsor rep spoke briefly to the driver in Spanish. 

Rin shouldered his backpack, one arm curled around the stuffed dolphin as he joined Haru on the curb.

Haru was hugging the plush shark, gazing up at the building and quietly taking it all in. 

Meanwhile, Rin’s palms were going clammy and his back started to tense up.  _Damnit.  Why do all hospitals make me like this?_   Just because of that one incident, after his father died…

Their sponsor rep, Iwata, waved them towards the entrance, gesturing with his briefcase.  “Tsuchiya-san hasn’t arrived yet.  We’ll meet her in the radiology department.”

Rin reached for Haru’s hand.  Their fingers wove together, their bracelets brushing as they followed Iwata and Maekawa inside.

-x-

The waiting area in the _Diagn_ _óstico por Imagen_ department had rows of silver chairs with thin red cushions.  It reminded Rin of airport seating.  Iwata spoke with the woman at the desk while Rin sat down with Haru.  Maekawa was on her feet, conversing on her phone and pacing slowly.  They were the only people in the waiting area.

A couple of minutes later, Iwata came over with a clipboard and pen.  “The forms are in English.  Let me know if there’s anything you need help understanding, Nanase-kun.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head, accepting the clipboard and pen with his right hand.

Iwata’s cell phone trilled.  He moved off, answering it quietly.

Haru was silent for a moment, his eyes flicking over the document…  He sighed.

“Want help?” Rin asked.

Haru nodded, handing the items over.

Rin studied the forms.  There were two—one for the MRI and one for Arthrography, whatever that was.  He filled out the basics first—name and date of birth—then started in on the questions, translating as he went.  “Haru, you’re not taking any medications.”

Haru shook his head.

“Allergies to medications?”

“No.”

Rin marked the checkbox.  “History of reaction to the contrast medium or dye—”

“I’ve never had one of these before.”

Rin nodded.  “Anemia, kidney disease, high blood pressure, liver disease, diabetes, or seizures?”  He lowered the form.  “The time you fainted doesn’t count.”

Haru looked back at him, thoughtful.  “No.”

Rin skipped through the section for women.  The rest of the Arthrography form described the procedure and risks.  Rin drew a deep breath.  “They’re gonna inject a contrast medium into your wrist.  There’s a local anesthetic—which might burn, it says—then the dye injection can hurt or just feel like pressure.”  He pressed his lips.  “Afterwards, there can be pain or soreness for up to twenty-four hours—”

“My wrist already hurts, Rin.”

“—and bleeding, bruising, or swelling.” 

Haru lifted a brow, looking pointedly at his swollen wrist.

“Yeah, I know…”  Rin returned his gaze to the form.  “Allergic reactions to the dye can include hives, shortness of breath, or difficulty swallowing…any significant reaction has to be reported immediately…”  He nearly choked on the next statement, “because, if untreated, complications could lead to loss of use of the joint.”

They fell silent, Rin’s words fading into the air.  His heart was pounding in his throat.

Haru looked back at him and exhaled.  “I’d get it treated, Rin.  If something happened.”

 _Yeah, of course._   _Don’t be an idiot, Matsuoka._   He flipped over to the next page; this was for the MRI.  “You can’t bring anything metal into the MRI room.  Even clothes with metallic threads.”

Haru glanced down at what he was wearing.  He lifted his right arm, the bracelet on his wrist.  “This isn’t metal.”

“Shouldn’t be.  But it might not be a bad idea to take it off, just in case.”

Haru shrugged.

On the page was a lengthy list of items…  “You have any medical implants, Haru?”

“No.”

“Any ear or eye surgery?”

Haru’s eyes flicked to him askance.  “No.”

Rin arched a brow.  “Bullet shrapnel?”

“I’ve never seen a gun except on TV.”

Rin checked the box for ‘no.’  He paused on the next line.  _What the heck is an IUD?_   “I don’t even know what this is.”

Haru leaned over, looking at the form.  “If I don’t know what it is, I’m pretty sure I don’t have one.”

“Nn…”  Rin tapped the pen against the page.  “Maybe I should ask.”  He looked up, noting Coach Maekawa was nearby.  “Maekawa-sensei?”

“Hai?”  She lowered her phone and came over. 

“What’s this?” Rin asked, holding up the form and pointing.

She leaned close, her eyes fixing on the page…  Maekawa straightened, coughing behind her hand.  “That’s a birth control implant for women.  Nothing you boys need to worry about.”

Rin’s face immediately caught fire.  “Uh, thanks,” he said, lowering the clipboard.

“Sure.  Let me know if you need help with anything else…”  She turned away, going back to her phone call.

Oh _God_ , who was on the other end of the line?  Rin hung his head, checking the appropriate box. 

“I wonder where it—”

“I’m _not_ asking, Haru.”  Rin moved down the list.  “History of kidney problems.”

“No.”

“Tattoos?”

When Haru didn’t answer, Rin glanced over…and found Haru looking at him, one brow arched. 

“I think you know the answer to that one, Rin.”

Rin cleared his throat.  “Just checking.”  He finished the form and handed it over.  “Here, you have to sign this one.”

Haru balanced the clipboard against his knee, taking the pen from Rin and writing his name in English. 

 _Thank God you’re right-handed._   Rin couldn’t bear to think about it—if Haru’s drawing hand had been injured.

“Is it still Monday?”

He glanced at the clock.  “Yeah, barely.”  Rin sighed.  _This morning we were in M_ _álaga…_   _Everything was perfect and we were untouchable_ …things changed so fast. 

Haru finished writing the date.  “That’s it?” 

“I guess.”  Rin gathered the clipboard and pen back.  “I’ll see if they want this now…” 

As he got up, the sliding doors to the waiting area opened.  Division Head Tsuchiya entered the room in sandals, cropped pants, and a sleeveless blouse.  Her hair was twisted up with a stylus and even nearing midnight, her makeup looked flawless.  “Nanase-kun.”  She came over to them directly, slipping her Blackberry into the pocket of her slacks.

Haru stood up; he and Rin both bowed. 

“We’re going to take very good care of you.  You don’t have to worry about a thing,” she said.

Haru dipped his head, going quiet and stiff.  He clutched the stuffed shark to his chest.  “Tsuchiya-san…”

“Yes?”

“…Will this affect the campaign?”

Tsuchiya exhaled.  “Not even a little, Nanase-kun.  You have a sprained wrist.  It’s a temporary, correctable condition, even if you have tears to your ligaments.”  Her gaze was firm.  “We’re in this with you for the long haul.”  She lifted a brow.  “You didn’t expect everything to be easy, right?”

Haru inhaled.  “Hai.”

“I’ve seen many athletes through setbacks just like this.”  Her face smoothed.  “Injuries are always difficult.  Some days will be worse than others.  But three steps forward and two steps back is _still_ progress.  The most important thing is to ask for help when you need it.”  She smiled faintly.  “You’re better at that than you think.”

A self-conscious blush darkened Haru’s cheeks.  “Hai,” he said.

“As for the campaign…”  Tsuchiya folded her arms.  “The proofs I’ve seen so far are excellent.  Though, I did have a chat with Director Kaya and Haseda-san about some of the sunset shots…”

Rin averted his eyes, coughing lightly.  _Definitely the best part of the shoot…_   He even kept the silly board shorts.

“I’ll see if we’re ready to proceed,” Tsuchiya said, returning her arms to her sides.  “Hopefully it will only be a few more minutes.  Do you need anything in the meantime?  I can send Iwata-san to the vending machines down the hall…”

Haru paused thoughtfully.  He drew a breath, looking sheepish.  “I would like some water, please.”

“Done,” she said.  Her eyes flicked to Rin.

Rin dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

She nodded and moved off.

They sat back down.  Rin curled his arm around Haru’s shoulders, his fingers automatically slipping into Haru’s hair.  “I don’t know what you did to get on her good side, Haru…”

Haru pressed back into his fingertips, a sigh falling from his lips.  “Dunno.  It was some sketchy deal.”  Haru closed his eyes, leaning back against Rin’s arm. 

Rin moved closer, setting his cheek against Haru’s hair.  He inhaled the familiar scent—which was mostly chlorine, since they’d skipped showering.  It was infinitely better than the sterile, antiseptic smell of the waiting room.

“Rin?”

“Hm?”

“Thanks for being here.”

Rin’s eyes stung with a fresh welling of tears.  _If it wasn’t for me…you wouldn’t have gotten hurt…we wouldn’t be here at all._ He tightened his arm, choking back a sob.  _But we are._   “Yeah, Haru,” he whispered and it was all he could manage before his voice broke. 

-x-

Not long after, they were taken to another area.  The small room was devoted to a large piece of equipment with an arm that extended over an exam table.  The radiologist and the technician were both male.  The technician wore sea-green scrubs while the radiologist was in a collared shirt, slacks, and a white coat.  They spoke mostly in Spanish, Tsuchiya doing the translating as the radiologist described the procedure. 

Rin tuned out as much as he could.  His shoulders were tense and there was a cold, queasy feeling in his stomach.  Sips of cool water helped, but didn’t alleviate his discomfort.  _Damnit, can you stop talking about the needles already?_

“If you want to hand off anything, Nanase-kun, now’s a good time,” Tsuchiya said.  “You’ll be going in for the MRI right after this.”

“Rin?” Haru asked.

Rin drew a breath, meeting Haru’s gaze. 

He was holding up his right wrist, offering the bracelet.

“Ah.”  Rin carefully untied it and slipped the bracelet into his pocket.

“Can I bring this?” Haru asked, lifting the stuffed shark.

The technician replied in Spanish. 

“They need to screen it to ensure there’s no metal,” Tsuchiya said.

“OK.”  Haru relinquished the toy.

The technician went into an adjacent control room, which had a window into the exam area.  Meanwhile, the radiologist checked packaged instruments on a metal tray.

Rin looked away, tapping his shoe against the tile floor.  He hugged the stuffed dolphin tighter.

“Rin.”  Haru touched his arm.

Rin stilled himself, looking over. 

There was a hint of warmth in Haru’s eyes, so like his normal self that Rin’s breath caught—

“Wait outside, OK?  I can do this part.”

Rin inhaled.  “Haru…”

Haru’s eyes softened even more.  He touched Rin’s face, brushing strands of hair back from his cheek.  “I don’t want you to faint on me.”

 _I’m not going to fucking faint—_   Then the radiologist snapped on a pair of gloves and even the smell of the latex had Rin’s stomach churning.  “Fine,” he said.  He caught Haru’s hand, kissing Haru’s knuckles and not giving a damn about what anyone else thought, though his cheeks were burning as he did it.  _I love you.  Don’t let them do anything stupid._

Haru squeezed his fingers, his eyes gleaming.

Rin got up as the technician came back, returning the stuffed shark with a nod.

Haru’s face brightened ever so slightly.

Rin escaped into the hall. 

 _Fuck_.  He set the backpack aside, sinking down into a lime green chair near the wall.  Iwata was a few seats over with a laptop on top of his briefcase.  He was typing.  Maekawa was leaning against the window at the end of the corridor, scrolling through something on her phone.

Rin sat forward with his elbows on his knees, the plush dolphin in his lap.  What he wouldn’t give to go back just a few hours…  _It was an accident,_ Haru said.  Exhausted, Rin raked a hand through his hair, his heart heavy.  _Yeah, but if I didn’t need help in the fifty, we wouldn’t have been in the pool.  And if I had my shit together in the first place, you wouldn’t have left France at all._   That the speculation was useless didn’t stop him from dwelling on it. 

That sick, inner voice was gleeful.  _See?  You failed again.  You weren’t strong enough.  You weren’t good enough.  You couldn’t do it on your own.  Now he’s hurt and it’s your fault—_

Rin leaned back in the chair, staring at the white ceiling, the air threading through his teeth.  _Yup.  It’s all fucking true._   But Haru loved him…and if he’d learned anything about that love in the weeks since Barcelona, it was that Haru would forgive him…and the way they felt about each other wasn’t fragile, even if their bodies were.

The arthrogram procedure lasted about thirty minutes.  When the door opened and Haru came out, he looked miffed and tired, but OK; the stuffed shark was in the crook of his right arm and a larger plastic splint was on his wrist.

Placing the dolphin aside, Rin got to his feet.  “Haru.”

Haru paused, the others moving past him down the hall, towards the next location.  “I’m OK,” he said, as Rin neared.  “It’s just a little stiff, now.”

Rin’s face was hot as he leaned in, ignoring their audience.  It wasn’t worse than the cameras poolside in Barcelona.  He kissed Haru’s cheek.  “I love you,” he whispered.

Haru drew a startled breath.  “Rin—”  Then Haru’s right arm was around his waist and damp eyelashes were pressed against Rin’s face.  “I love you, too,” Haru said, his voice quiet and hoarse.  His arm tightened around Rin.

Rin circled Haru with his arms, careful not to crush Haru’s splinted wrist between them.

The footsteps of the men receded, along with a murmur of Spanish.

Tsuchiya cleared her throat lightly.  “This part will go faster, Nanase-kun.  The sooner we do it, the sooner you can head back…”

“Ah.”  Haru pulled away.  He brushed at his eyes, holding the stuffed shark by one fin.  His gaze was warm with affection, fastened on Rin before he turned to follow.

Rin soaked in that look, some of the ache in his chest subsiding.  He sat down again, hugging the dolphin plush…

-x-

Rin fell asleep that time, waking up when Coach Maekawa shook his shoulder gently.

Haru was rubbing his eyes as he came out of the MRI room, looking exhausted and irritated.  He was back to wearing the smaller splint.

Rin stood up as Haru came to him, walking right into his shoulder.

“Can we go now?”  Haru’s voice was muffled by Rin’s shirt.

Rin laid his arm across Haru’s back, lifting his other hand to Haru’s hair and stroking gently.  “How was it?”

“Loud.”

“Almost done, Nanase-kun,” Tsuchiya said.  “I promise.”

Their last stop was the hospital pharmacy for a prescription and a fresh ice pack.  Tsuchiya handed the meds to Rin, along with a thick folder of paperwork. 

“The instructions are included, but the anti-inflammatories are twice a day, with food,” Tsuchiya said.

“I don’t usually take stuff,” Haru muttered.  He had wedged himself beneath Rin’s arm and seemed disinclined to move.

“They’re nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories, Nanase-kun,” Maekawa said, stifling a yawn.  “Not prohibited.” 

“Nn…”

Rin kissed Haru’s brow.  “Let me put stuff away, OK?”

“ _Nn_ …”  But he moved off long enough for Rin to get everything tucked into his backpack.

“The conference call is tomorrow morning at nine am,” Tsuchiya said, as they headed out to the circular drive in front of the hospital, where a car and van were waiting.  “I apologize for the early hour, but it’s important we have time for follow-on actions as needed.  Get some rest, Nanase-kun.”

Haru nodded.  “Thanks.”  He climbed into the van.

Rin bowed.  “Thank you.”  _How am I still upright?_

“I’ll see you both in the morning,” she said, waving. 

Rin boarded the vehicle, bringing his backpack as he settled into the last row of seats with Haru.  Outside, Tsuchiya conversed briefly with the others.

“Do you want to take the meds now?” Rin asked, pulling the pill bottle and a can of _saba_ from his pack.  “I brought—”

Haru’s eyes lit.  “Chopsticks?”

“Fuck,” Rin muttered.

Haru smiled with his eyes—for the first time all night. 

-x-

It was after two am by the time they got back to their room at the training facility.  Rin dropped his bag on the floor while Haru used the bathroom.  He pulled out the meds and instructions, which were in English.  _Apply an ice pack to the injured area for 20 minutes every two hours for the first day._

Rin frowned, his eyes glazing over.  _We’ve kind of been doing that, I guess.  But…every two hours, all night?_   They both needed sleep badly…

He put the pills and paperwork on the nightstand and cleared random stuff off the bed.  The stuffed animals went back in place by their pillows. 

It was then Rin noticed an odd background hum…  After a bit of searching, he found a mini-fridge plugged in on the other side of the desk.  The main compartment was filled with small cartons of milk and juice and healthy snacks; the freezer was full of ice packs.  Rin mentally thanked whoever had arranged this for them.  The ice packs alone were going to be worth their weight in gold for the next few days…weeks…  _Oh God, I can’t think about that right now…_

The door to the bathroom opened.  “I want a shower.  I feel gross,” Haru said.

“Need help?”

“Yeah.”

Rin closed the fridge and headed for the bathroom.  He felt grimy, too.  His skin was tacky from dried chlorine and stress sweat.

Inside, Haru was standing in front of the sink, pulling the Velcro straps from his splint.  He wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing—the bracelet Rin tied on for him in the van didn’t count—the discarded articles making a small pile on the floor.

Rin eyed his lover.  “What do you need my help for?”

Haru looked at him, pouting faintly.  “I _want_ your help.”

Rin smiled.  He stripped naked, tossing his clothes onto the pile with Haru’s while Haru started the shower. 

Rin followed Haru into the lukewarm spray.  They held each other gently, trading slow kisses beneath the cascade of water—kisses that weren’t an overture to ardor but were just…needed.  The contact was reassuring and safe, unraveling all the emotions he’d been holding in for hours, trying to keep things together—

Haru broke down first, his breath hitching in tearless sobs as he trembled in Rin’s embrace.  The fingers of his right hand dug into Rin’s side while his injured wrist was curled against Rin’s chest.  Rin’s eyes flooded with tears that fell silently.  His arms were wrapped around Haru’s shoulders, his fingertips running through soaked strands of black hair.  Haru crying in his arms like this was a kind of pain he’d never experienced before; his heart lay in pieces on the tile floor by the time they turned off the water.

Haru’s face was red as Rin helped him towel off and get the splint back onto his wrist, but he seemed calmer and more at peace. 

_I wish I could say the same._

They finished drying off and dressed in their underwear, climbing into bed in the darkened room…

Haru curled up in Rin’s arms, using the plush shark as a pillow to elevate his arm with an ice pack perched on top.  His back was warm against Rin’s chest, his damp, chlorine-scented hair tickling Rin’s nose.

“Love you, Rin…” Haru murmured. 

“Love you,” Rin whispered, squeezing Haru gently with the arm tucked across his lover’s body.

Haru was out almost immediately.  His breaths shallowed and went rhythmic, his limbs slackened in Rin’s embrace as he melted against the sheets…

Rin waited with his eyes closed, barely breathing, feeling Haru’s lungs expand and contract, listening to the hum of the mini-fridge in the background. 

When Haru was deeply asleep, Rin carefully pulled away.  Haru didn’t stir.

Rin rolled onto his back…and then onto his left side on the other bed.  His breath came out in a gasp, the pain like shards of glass embedded in his heart—

 _Please, God—_   The tears welled up hot, spilling across the bridge of his nose and splashing onto his pillow.  _Please…_   He wasn’t sure why he was doing this.  The last time he’d tried, he’d been ten years old, curled up in the dark, gripping the blankets when the house was quiet and his tears couldn’t be heard…begging God to bring his dad back.  It wasn’t like God ever answered those prayers.

But he couldn’t help it, pressing his face into his pillow to muffle the sobs as he wordlessly pleaded for Haru’s sake—

* * *

Tuesday, July 12th, 2016

* * *

At 4:30am and again at 6:30am, Rin dragged himself out of bed and over to the mini-fridge, exchanging Haru’s melted ice pack for a fresh one.  Both times, Haru barely stirred, offering little more than an unconscious grunt as Rin iced his wrist for twenty minutes.  Exhausted, Rin chased sleep as the sun rose, but once there was full-on daylight streaming in through the windows, he was awake and there wasn’t any point trying to sleep more.

He got out of bed, careful not to disturb Haru.  After washing up, Rin got dressed and went about unpacking things from the night before.  Settling on the sofa with one leg folded beneath him, he read through the paperwork, staring at printouts of Haru’s X-rays, at all those tiny wrist bones imaged in ghostly white and gray.  The human body was as astounding as it was delicate, the fact that fractured bones could _heal_ was incredible when he took the time to consider it.  _I’m gonna have to learn this stuff_.  If he wanted to be a coach someday, he needed to be able to do what Coach Maekawa did last night—know the right people to talk to and how to get help…to be calm and deal with the situation at hand…and it would be better if he didn’t flip out at the first mention of a needle.

Rin sighed, tucking the paperwork back into the folder and glancing at the clock.  Haru would need to get up soon.  He’d need to eat and take his medicine, and ice his wrist again before their meeting at nine…

 _I’d better get our breakfast._   Rin grabbed a few things, slipping into his sandals before he headed out the door.

-x-

Their teammates weren’t in the dining hall, which was a relief.  Maekawa must not have canceled their morning practice.  Rin loaded breakfast foods onto a tray, picking things that would be easy to eat one-handed, especially toast. 

When he got back to their room, Haru opened the door, standing there in nothing but his underwear.

“What if it wasn’t me?” Rin asked.

“I knew it was you, Rin.”  Haru looked tired.

“Mn.”  Rin carried the tray inside.

The door closed quietly.  “Rin?”

“Hm?”  He set the tray on the nightstand, debating.  _It might be easier to eat at the sofa_.  If he moved the end table…

“…Were you crying last night?”

Rin stilled.  _Definitely the sofa_.  He cleared off the end table, moving it in front of the sofa instead.  “A little.”  He relocated the tray.

“Because we can’t swim together?”

 _That_ was a heavy question, laden with subtext.  Emotion lodged in Rin’s throat at the gravity of what Haru was asking him.  So many dreams were wrapped up in that one sentence.  “Because you’re hurting,” he said, his voice coming out raw.  He turned.

Haru hadn’t moved from the door.  He held his left arm bent at the elbow to keep his wrist elevated and didn’t meet Rin’s gaze.

Rin cleared his throat as best he could while the ache deepened in his chest.  “We made a promise, remember?  When you were in Norway.  That we’d always swim together.  No matter what.”  _I’m not letting you back out on me.  Especially not over a stupid wrist sprain that’s my fault._

Haru lifted his eyes slowly, his voice a hoarse whisper.  “Even if…  Rio…”

Rin’s eyes burned, though he was pretty sure he didn’t have any tears left after last night.  “Yeah,” he said.

Haru inhaled, his eyes glistening.

Rin took two steps, enfolding Haru in his arms. 

“Rin…”  Haru clung to him, clutching a fistful of his T-shirt.

“Dummy,” Rin said, taking Haru’s face in both hands.  With his thumbs, he traced Haru’s perfectly-shaped eyebrows.  “Is it that hard to believe what I said?” 

Haru’s eyes filled with tears.  “Sorry,” he whispered.  “I just…never had things to lose, before.”

Rin drew a sharp breath.  “Is _that_ what you’re worried about?”  He hugged his lover fiercely.  “Haru, what’s after Rio?”

Haru was quiet for a moment.  “I don’t know.  We go home, I guess.”

Rin shook his head, pressing his face into Haru’s hair.  “World Cup.  Asian Championships.  World Championships next year…  Tokyo 2020.”

Haru’s breath hitched. 

“And you’re swimming with me in Sydney this Christmas.  And…” Rin’s voice broke as he thought of _them_ , the kids he’d dreamed about.  “We’re gonna try it, right?  Having a family, someday.”

“Rin—”  Haru’s fingers dug into his skin through the T-shirt.

Rin sighed raggedly, pulling away.  “None of that changes because of your _wrist_ , idiot.”

“…I know,” Haru said, rubbing his eyes quickly. 

“I’ll remind you.  If that helps,” Rin said, his hands resting on Haru’s shoulders.  If this was what Haru needed from him—this quiet reassurance— _I’ll give you as much as you can take.  It’s the least I can do, for all that you’ve done for me._

A blush darkened Haru’s cheeks.  He nodded.

Rin leaned in, pressing their foreheads together.  “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

Haru’s eyes widened.  He tilted his head in invitation…  Their lips melted together, Rin tasting a trace of salt from Haru’s tears.  As Haru pulled him closer, Rin’s heart settled.  _I know we’ll be OK._

At length, Rin drew back.  “Food and meds,” he said.

“OK.”  Haru smiled with his eyes.

-x-

A few minutes before 9am, they headed downstairs, crossing the sunlit lobby towards the meeting center on the other side.  It was another day of clear skies and pleasant temperatures, comfortable for their T-shirts and long pants.  Their sponsor rep—Iwata—was waiting for them at the entrance; Rin felt it through their linked hands, the way Haru stiffened, his steps starting to slow.

Rin squeezed Haru’s fingers, looking over.  _I know.  I’m scared, too._

Haru met his gaze and drew a deep breath…  After a moment, he nodded and they continued on.

Iwata got the door for them, dressed in yet another short-sleeved formal shirt and crisp slacks.  The guy must iron clothes on a daily basis.  “Good morning, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”

“Ah.”  They dipped their heads.

“We’re the third door on the left.”

“Thanks,” Rin said.

The door was propped open.  This conference room was larger than the previous one they’d used, with tables arranged in a U-shape, facing a large screen.  There was seating for twelve; thin windows on the far wall let in daylight, though shades were lowered over the windows closest to the screen.

Tsuchiya was already there, at the control console.  Today, she wore a short-sleeved blazer with a cream-colored shell and a narrow skirt.  She glanced back as they entered.  “How are you feeling this morning, Nanase-kun?”

Haru shrugged.  “OK,” he said.

“Doctor Hirano and his team are the best orthopedic surgeons in Japan.  They’ve been treating our athletes for decades.  You’re in very good hands.”

“Ah.”  Haru bowed his head.

Rin didn’t doubt that at all, but…  Sousuke would’ve gone there for treatment, right?  If not back in high school when the injury happened, certainly since then…  _And your shoulder’s not better._   Maybe that wasn’t fair, though.  There was a lot about Sousuke’s injury that he didn’t know.

“Sit down wherever you’d like, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun,” Tsuchiya said, turning back to the console.

Haru looked at the chairs near the door.

Rin rolled his eyes, tugging on Haru’s hand.  “Sit where you can see.  They’re gonna be talking to you, you know.”  He put them front and center, facing the screen.

“Nn.”  Haru pursed his lips, but he took the chair Rin pulled out for him.

The screen lit—or half of it did.  Coach Fujino was on the left-hand side in a Team Japan T-shirt, sitting in a small conference room from the looks of it.

“Good morning, Coach Fujino,” Tsuchiya said.  “Can you hear us and see us?”

“ _I can, Tsuchiya-san.  Good morning_.”  Fujino’s gaze shifted.  “ _Good morning, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun._ ”

Rin bowed his head low, shame heating his cheeks.  It was one thing, fucking up in front of Coach Maekawa who’d been training him almost daily since April.  But in front of the head coach for the entire Olympic swimming team—the person he wanted to train with after Rio was over…Rin wanted to crawl under the table and bow with his forehead touching the floor.

“ _Will Maekawa-san be joining us?_ ”

“Hai,” Maekawa said, coming in at just that moment.  She was fresh from practice in her Team Japan warmup pants and black T-shirt, her hair pulled back and smelling like chlorine. 

Iwata entered with her, closing the door.

“ _Then we’re just waiting for Tokyo to call?_ ”

A soft tone sounded from the console. 

“I’m adding them now,” Tsuchiya said.

The right-hand side of the screen lit, showing one of the conference rooms at the Institute of Sports Sciences.  The camera faced another U-shaped set of tables; Rin assumed the man in the center, wearing a white coat over his collared shirt, was Doctor Hirano.  To either side of him, most in similar dress, were other men and women—five in all.  A woman to Hirano’s right wore a black Sports Sciences polo while the man on Hirano’s left had a laptop out with the screen nearly closed.

“ _Good afternoon, Hirano-sensei_ ,” Coach Fujino said.

Doctor Hirano and his staff bowed.  “ _Coach Fujino, good morning_.”

After a round of formal introductions, Doctor Hirano adjusted his glasses and folded his hands atop a stack of paperwork.  “ _Nanase-kun, my colleagues and I have been reviewing the results from your MRI Arthrogram.  We’ve also consulted with the specialists in Granada recommended by Doctor Tom_ _às_.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Ah.”

Rin squeezed his hand.  Both of their palms were clammy.

“ _We concur that there is no fracture.  As for a wrist sprain, these are classified into three grades, based on the damage to the ligaments involved.  Grade one is the most minor, where the ligaments are stretched or may have slight tears_. _Grade two sprains are characterized by partial tears to ligament tissue.  In a grade three sprain, ligaments are completely torn and typically require surgical intervention_.”

 _Please God, no_ …  Rin drew a slow breath.

The doctor paused, turning to the man on his left.  “ _Doctor Eto_.”

“ _Hai_.”  The man opened the laptop.

The image on the right-hand side of the screen was replaced with a black and gray picture that was notably not an X-ray.  Presumably, the picture was Haru’s wrist, though Rin didn’t know what was bone or ligament or anything else.  The center of the picture looked like a cluster of flagstones in a sidewalk, black with lighter outlines with a few spots of brilliant white.

A red pointer appeared on the screen.  “ _Nanase-kun, this is your scapholunate interosseous ligament_ ,” a new voice said.  The red pointer orbited around an area on the image.  “ _It’s a small band connecting the scaphoid and lunate bones.  This here—_ ” the pointer stopped moving, “ _is the source of your discomfort._ ”

“ _The other ligaments in your wrist appear to be fine, but your scapholunate ligament is stressed,”_ Doctor Hirano said.  _“The damage is largely uniform, with a few places of particular concern.  However, in lieu of discernable tearing, we classify it as a grade one sprain_.”

 _Oh, thank God._   Rin’s shoulders slumped in a tide of relief; beside him, Haru’s lungs emptied in a rush.  Beneath the table, Rin gripped Haru’s hand, tapping his knuckles against Haru’s thigh.  _Fucking, yes!_

Haru’s eyes flicked to him askance, warm and relieved.

The screen changed back to the Sports Sciences conference room.

“ _I take the time to explain the different grades, Nanase-kun, because it is critical your wrist is protected and allowed to heal_ ,” Doctor Hirano said.  “ _Your scapholunate ligament is vulnerable in this state and subsequent trauma can easily lead to grade two or even grade three injuries.  As you may know, any tearing can mean permanent weakening of the ligament and full tears result in a loss of function_.”

Rin sobered fast, settling back in the chair.

“ _It’s fortunate that you sought treatment immediately.  Oftentimes, minor injuries like this one are ignored by athletes, who don’t seek evaluation until the pain is persistent and the injury has become much more severe and more difficult to treat_.”

Fuck.  Rin went cold.  _Sousuke, if you’d gone in right away…_ Rin’s right hand curled against his leg.  _Maybe things could’ve been different._

Doctor Hirano adjusted his glasses again.  “ _It’s imperative that you allow the joint to rest and that you not resume normal levels of training and usage until you have no pain in your wrist._ ”

Haru inhaled tightly.  “For how long?”

“ _It’s extremely dependent on the individual.  Two to six weeks will encompass most injuries of this type_ —”

 _Shit_.  Rio was in 24 days…

“ _I’d like to say you’d be on the low end of that range, but I can’t.  It will take as long as it takes, and longer—obviously—if you start in too soon and disrupt the healing process.  Or, worse, cause further injury_.”

Haru seemed to deflate in his chair.  “I can’t swim at all?”

“You can dryland, Nanase-kun,” Maekawa said.  “Think of it as extra taper.”

“ _I would certainly not recommend it at first_ ,” Doctor Hirano said.  “ _Physical therapy will be important to evaluate your progress and clear you for resuming light to moderate amounts of activity.  Stabilizing the joint with tape will help prevent further stress.  You’ll be able to graduate from the splint once the swelling has gone down_.”

“ _We’ll work you up to it, Nanase-kun_ ,” Coach Fujino said.  “ _With the doctor’s recommendations_.”

Haru pressed his lips.  At length, he nodded.

The doctor sat forward, folding his hands on the table again.  “ _I can’t offer guarantees, but there’s every reason to hope your injury will be healed prior to Rio.  Discipline now will give you the best chance_.”

“Hai,” Haru said.

“How would you like to handle physical therapy, Doctor?” Tsuchiya asked.  She was standing next to the control console with her arms folded.  “Is there benefit to sending Nanase-kun to work with you at the Institute?”

Rin sucked air.  _Oh fuck no._ They _couldn’t_ be talking about sending Haru back to Japan.  Not _now._   _I just got you back—_

Next to him, Haru went stiff, his grip tightening.

“ _Certainly, we have the best facilities for treatment_ ,” Doctor Hirano said.  “ _Alternatively, we have existing plans for staffing S_ _ão Paulo.  With your assistance, Tsuchiya-san, we could accelerate those plans and send a staff member to Sierra Nevada.  There is cost associated with either option—with the second being more expensive, for obvious reasons—and pros and cons to both_.”

The thought of being away from Haru again was crushing, but Rin tried to curb that.  Tokyo would be better for Haru.  He could be treated at the Institute, see Makoto and his other friends—spring classes were ending soon, not to mention finishing out his drawing class.  _You didn’t want to come here in the first place._   But…he didn’t want Haru to go.  _Fuck, how selfish am I?_   To any athlete serious about Rio, it wouldn’t even be a question.  _If our positions were reversed, I’d definitely…_  

The thought died as he looked at Haru, at how still he’d become.  His gaze was fixed on the table in front of him. 

_Damnit.  Is it my turn to beg for the world and ask them to send us both?_

“ _There are certain…intangible benefits to keeping Nanase-kun with the team, Tsuchiya-san_ ,” Coach Fujino said.

Tsuchiya nodded.  “I’m aware, Coach Fujino.”  She turned from the console, her arms falling to her sides.  “Nanase-kun.”

Haru didn’t look up from the table.  “Hai?”

“This is a bit more complex than our previous arrangement.  I’d have to go to my superiors to get approval for the second option, but I believe I can sell it, if that’s your preference.”

Haru slowly lifted his gaze to look at her. 

“My professional opinion is that you’re better off in the hands of Doctor Hirano’s full staff in Tokyo…but you’re the only one who can determine what support network is best for you during your recovery.  So?”  She arched a brow.  “Tell me what you want and I’ll make it happen.”

Haru fell quiet, drawing a long breath.

“Is there an option where we both go?” Rin asked.

Haru looked at him sharply.  “Rin—”  His face clouded.  “You need to train for the relays in São Paulo.”

_Oh, like any of that fucking matters if you’re not there._

Tsuchiya shook her head.  “Not this time, Matsuoka-kun.  I wouldn’t be able to justify separating you from your coaching staff this close to Rio.”

 _Damnit._   Rin exhaled.  He could see her point, though.

“ _Best case, Nanase-kun, we would have you rejoin in S_ _ão Paulo_ ,” Doctor Hirano said.  “ _As I stated previously, we’ve already planned staffing for that location.  We should be able to make use of onsite facilities for anything else that we need_.”

“Haru.”  Rin lowered his voice, squeezing Haru’s hand.  “You could see Makoto and everyone…”

Haru’s eyes widened, his forehead knitting together.

There was an ache in Rin’s chest, but he pushed through it.  _I know you miss him.  And if we’re just talking two weeks…_   Not that he wanted to think about it.  Even two weeks without Haru sounded suffocating.

Haru looked away, glancing first to the screen, then to Tsuchiya.  “I get to pick?”

Tsuchiya nodded, one hand tapping the edge of the console by her side.  “As I said.”

Haru’s face smoothed.  “I want to stay here.”

“ _Haru_ —”

Haru shot him a look, his eyes bright but firm, the message clear.  _Don’t argue with me, Rin._

Rin closed his mouth with a snap.

“Done,” Tsuchiya said.  She checked her watch.  “Doctor, if you could have someone ready to travel tomorrow, or Thursday at the latest.  I’ll be contacting the board directly after this meeting.”

“ _We’ve previously discussed this possibility.  Kasai-san_ —” Doctor Hirano indicated the woman on his right in the institute polo, “ _has agreed to the extended travel_.”

The woman bowed her head.  “ _I’m prepared to leave as soon as needed, Tsuchiya-san_.”  She straightened, smiling.  “ _Nanase-kun, I look forward to working with you_.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

Tsuchiya exhaled.  “Thank you, Doctor.  Kasai-san.  I’ll be in touch.”

“ _In the meantime, Nanase-kun_ …” Doctor Hirano said.  “ _I concur with Doctor Tom_ _às’s recommendations for treatment.  Absolute rest of the joint for the first forty-eight hours, icing at the prescribed intervals, and the anti-inflammatory medication.  There are additional options for pain management if needed, as described in the paperwork_.”

“It’s OK,” Haru said.

“ _Do you have any questions?_ ”

Haru started to shake his head, then stopped.  “If…I let it heal completely and don’t reinjure it…  It’ll be as strong as before?”

The doctor nodded.  “ _You have every reason to expect a return to full capability in that case.  It’s only a question of when, and I can’t stress enough how important it is to be patient with your recovery_.”

“Hai.  I understand.”

“ _Very well.  If you think of other questions between now and when Kasai-san joins you, I’ll leave my contact information with Coach Maekawa_.”

Haru bowed his head.  “Thank you, Doctor.”

“Anything else?” Tsuchiya asked.

“ _If I could have a minute with Nanase-kun, after this_ ,” Coach Fujino said.

Tsuchiya nodded.  “Iwata-san…”

Iwata bowed, moving to replace her at the console.

“ _Thank you, Doctor_ ,” Coach Fujino said.  “ _Especially on such short notice_.”

There was a whole round of thanking and getting up and bowing formally…  Finally, the right-hand screen went dark and Tsuchiya breezed from the room, her Blackberry already held to her ear.

Rin cleared his throat, glancing between the screen and Haru.  “Should I leave?”

“ _You’re fine, Matsuoka-kun_ ,” Coach Fujino said.  “ _This will be quick_.”

Maekawa remained as well, standing near the door.

“ _Nanase-kun, you’re not a minor, so I’m not required to contact your parents about your injury.  I leave that to you, with the recommendation that you inform them before they read about it in the news_.”  Coach Fujino lifted a hand.  “ _Not that I expect media coverage to be immediately forthcoming, but there will be speculation and it’s likely JASF will issue a statement at that time_.”  Fujino smiled gently.  “ _Having met your mother, it’s best, in my opinion, to preclude that possibility_.”

Haru inhaled slowly.  “Hai,” he said.

“ _Please advise your parents that they can contact me at any time, should they have questions_.”

“I will.”

Fujino’s eyes warmed.  “ _I wish we could all be as fortunate as you, Nanase-kun.  As injuries go…  When I dislocated my shoulder a week prior to the Olympic trials in 2000, I pretty much retired on the spot.  But you have your whole career ahead of you_.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head. 

“ _Get some rest, both of you.  All of you_ ,” Fujino said, glancing at Maekawa and Iwata also.  “ _You had a long night.  I’ll be in touch._ ”

Rin bowed along with the others, the screen going fully dark.

Maekawa was the first to leave the room, stifling a yawn.  “Go back to bed, you two.  Matsuoka-kun, dryland this afternoon if you’re up for it.”

“Hai,” Rin said.

Haru was looking at him with a guarded expression, as if anticipating the argument to come.

 _Mn_.  Rin pressed his lips.  “Wanna go?”

Haru nodded.  “Thank you, Iwata-san,” he said, as they headed for the door.

“Of course, Nanase-kun.”

They crossed the lobby to the elevators.  Haru pushed the button.

Rin shoved his hands into his pants pockets as they waited.  “I thought you would’ve jumped at the chance to see them.”

“I don’t want to leave you,” Haru said.

“I don’t want to be separated either, but your best chance of—”

“I need you, not Makoto, to feel better.” 

_Makoto would never have tackled you into the line like I did._

The elevator arrived.  They waited for others to get off, then boarded alone.  The doors slid closed.

“Haru…”

“I want to stay with the team, even if I can’t swim.  And I don’t want to be in different time zones again.”

Rin sighed.  It was hard to argue with either of those points…

Haru went quiet for several seconds.  “What if you have more nightmares?”

The question stabbed him with pain, hot and searing.  “Haru, you wouldn’t even be injured if not for my shit—”

Haru’s eyes flashed at him.  “It was an accident, Rin.”

“But you wouldn’t have come in the first place, if—”

“It’s not like you asked for what happened to your dad.  That wasn’t your fault, either.”

“Haru—”  Rin’s hands curled tight in his pockets.

“You weren’t trying to hurt me.  I wanted—I _want_ —to be here for you.”

 _Haru…_   The fire in his eyes left Rin silent.

“So stop blaming yourself.  And don’t try to fix this, either.”  Haru’s lips thinned into a line.  “You were up all night, weren’t you?  Icing my wrist for me.”

Rin sucked air.  “How did you…?”

Haru’s eyes softened.  “‘Cause this is what you do, Rin.  When you can’t control things.  You find other things you can.”

The elevator stopped on their floor.  Rin trailed Haru down the hall, his breath leaving his lips slowly.

At their door, Haru took out his card, unlocking and opening the door one-handed.  They went inside.

It was all true.  And, maybe…  _Maybe I wanted you to go to Tokyo as some kind of punishment for myself…_   Rin shoved a hand through his hair, dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed.  _Fuck, I’m such a mess sometimes._

Haru grabbed a new ice pack from the mini-fridge, tossing it onto the bed.  Then, he was drawing the curtains, enclosing them and the room in the semi-dark except for what light seeped around the edges.

Rin’s eyes adjusted.  “Haru…”

“You heard Maekawa-sensei.  We’re going back to bed.”  Haru’s gaze was hard.  Finished with the curtains, he pulled off his T-shirt one-handed and then started working on his pants.

Rin chewed his lower lip briefly.  _Is it weird that I like it when you kick my ass?_   He got up, stripping off his T-shirt and shucking off his pants.  Then he went to help Haru, who had gotten stalled at the button at his waist.  The splint made it so that he couldn’t even close his index finger and thumb on his left hand.

Rin kissed his lover on the mouth, deftly slipping the button free and pushing Haru’s pants down his thighs.  He drew back at Haru’s startled inhale, meeting the surprise in blue eyes.  “If I wasn’t so tired, and you didn’t need rest, I’d take that more than literally.”

Haru’s lips parted, his breath warm against Rin’s face.  Quiet pleasure lit in his gaze.  He didn’t say anything, but there was a hint of a smile on his face as he kicked off his pants and tugged Rin towards the bed.

-x-

Rin’s icing alarms went off at 10:30am and 12:30pm.  They were more awake the second time, cuddled together beneath the covers, except for Haru’s left arm and the ice pack Rin held. 

Haru was looking at the bedside clock.  He sighed audibly.

Rin nuzzled Haru’s left ear, kissing the column of his throat gently.  “It’s only twenty minutes.”

“Nn.”  Haru hunched a bit.

 _Not that, huh?_   Rin pulled back slightly.  _Oh._   “It’s dinner time at home.”  When Haru didn’t say anything, Rin knew he’d hit it.  He exhaled, his insides tightening with another wave of guilt.  “How do you think they’ll take it?”

Haru shrugged.  “My dad will be fine.  My mom will worry but she’ll get over it.”

Rin kissed Haru’s shoulder.  “I never understood—if your mom worried about you—why she let you live alone in Iwatobi.”

“I wasn’t gonna leave the water and move to Hokkaido.  They tried to get me to do it, but I wouldn’t go.”

_Well, that does sound like you._

“Besides, Makoto and his family were always right there.  And they never intended to sell my grandmother’s house.”

Rin closed his eyes briefly, pressing his forehead to Haru’s back.  “Be sure to tell them it was my fault, not yours.”

Haru shifted away from him, sitting up.  The blankets fell to his waist.  “You keep bringing that up,” he said, his lips flattened into a line.

Rin propped himself up on an elbow.  “It’s how it happened.”

“It doesn’t matter how it happened.”  Haru’s eyes hardened.  “I told you already.”

 _Maybe not to you.  But everyone else can be pissed at me._ Rin snorted.  _They should be._

“You’re not the only one who does stuff like that.  Takara does it all the time.  Mikoshiba too, sometimes.  Back in high school, Nagisa used to…”

“Pretty sure that accounts for a fraction of the times I’ve done it, Haru.”

“At the NTC, Momo pushed us both into the pool.  In Mesa, I jumped in with twenty kids.”

“Well, sure, but…”  _Nothing ever happened, any of those times._

Haru’s shoulders fell, pain lighting in his eyes.  “What if I’d been injured in France, Rin?” he asked in a whisper.  “Do you think I could’ve gone through everything we did last night and this morning, without you?”

The air trailed slowly past Rin’s lips.  “Haru…”  _You would’ve had the support of Captain Ikehara and the others.  You get along with them pretty well._ …But the echo of fear in Haru’s gaze made him stop, reminding him of all the times Haru gripped his hand, the way Haru shook in his arms, the raw emotion in the shower last night—he’d _never_ seen Haru fall apart like that.  There was no doubt in Rin’s mind that Haru would’ve found _some_ way to cope.  _You adapt a lot better than you think you do._   But, maybe like with his nightmares, there would’ve been emotional things that festered and didn’t heal right…and scars that lingered.  “Fuck,” Rin muttered, slumping back down to the bed.  He rubbed a hand over his eyes.

“It’s stupid to keep rehashing it.  And it’s irritating.”

Rin lowered his hand.  “Oh, if it’s _irritating_ …”

Haru lifted his splinted wrist, pointing at it with his other hand.  “I already can’t swim.  If my other water’s being annoying, too, then what do I do?”

Rin’s cheeks heated.  _Your ‘other water.’_   “ _God_ , Haru.  You win.”  He chuckled ruefully, rolling over and wrapping his arms around Haru’s waist, his face pressed to Haru’s abs.  _If that’s what you want.  I don’t want to make this harder for you._

Haru’s right hand settled on his head, drifting slowly through his hair.  “It’s gonna be OK, Rin.  You heard the doctors.”

“Yeah…”  Rin sighed against Haru’s skin.  “I still wish it’d been me, not you.”

Haru snorted gently, his muscles contracting under Rin’s cheek.

Rin lifted his gaze, arching a brow.

There was a trace of amusement in Haru’s eyes.  “They gave me four shots, Rin.  The anesthesia was quick, but the other three weren’t.  You would’ve passed out for the whole thing—”

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin’s face caught fire.  He pushed his lover down, nipping at Haru’s skin.

But the smile on Haru’s face was genuine and beautiful…and it made Rin want to cry.  Looking into Haru’s eyes, he felt it—that sense of calm that had been absent most of the night.  It was back, now, washing through him, a salve to the ache in his heart. 

Rin shifted onto his knees, scooting up the bed so he could meet Haru face-to-face.  He sank against pliant lips, Haru welcoming him with fingertips trailing warmly through his hair.  For long moments, they lost themselves in lazy kisses in the darkened room—

…Until the timer on Rin’s phone beeped, indicating twenty minutes were up.

Rin broke from Haru’s lips, pleasantly breathless, fixing the device with a glare.  “ _Tch_.  I guess we have to start that one over.”

“Nn.  I’m hungry.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  He couldn’t help smiling.  “OK, Haru.  Let’s get you fed.”

-x-

They headed down to the dining hall together, just making the end of the lunch hour.  Rin would’ve brought food back, but Haru was being stubborn and Rin was done arguing for the day…mostly.

“I still get to carry everything,” he said, picking up a tray as they got in line.

“I have one hand,” Haru said, eyeing the stack of trays.

Rin caught Haru’s right hand with his left.  “Not anymore.”

Haru inhaled—

Rin shot him a simmering look.  _You don’t expect your water to behave, right?_   He was pretty sure he remembered Haru’s sixth grade essay correctly—something about the water baring its fangs and attacking…  _That_ could be a useful bit of information for later. 

Haru’s blue eyes darkened a shade with a glimmer, an echo of the desire he’d last seen in Málaga. 

Rin had to look away, catching his lower lip with his teeth as the memories rushed in.  “Forty-eight hours, huh?” he muttered beneath his breath.

“Pretty sure it’s just my wrist, Rin,” Haru said, pulling away.  He pointed at the menu, at _lenguado a la plancha_ —grilled sole.  “I want that.”

“Ah,” Rin said, rubbing the back of his neck as they stepped forward in line.

“Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun!”  Otani’s voice came from behind them.

Rin mentally steeled himself, trying not to grimace.  This was not going to be fun.

Haru turned to greet her.  “Otani-san.”

Rin glanced back. 

Otani’s green eyes were wide and she was clutching the zipper pull of her sweatshirt in one hand.  “How…how bad is it?”

“It’s a grade one scapholunate sprain,” Haru said.

Otani pressed her lips.  “Is that…?”

“It’s not torn.”

“ _Oh_.”  She sighed with relief.  “Good.  I mean, not _good_ that you were injured.  But it could’ve been a lot worse, right?”

Haru nodded.

Rin sighed softly, turning back to the line.  They were nearing the food stations.

“Do you guys wanna come sit with us?  We’re done with lunch, but…”

“OK,” Haru said.

“We’re just over there—by the windows.  I’ll grab you seats, OK?”

“Thanks.”

She scampered off.

“We could’ve gone back upstairs,” Rin murmured.

“The others will want to know, too.  Might as well do this now.”

“If we take too long, it’ll get late at home.”

Haru fell quiet.  “Ah,” he said, eventually.

Rin carried the tray for both of them while Haru got the flatware and napkins.

Their teammates—Koda, Kawamura, Sada, and Otani—had a round table near the windows.  They were lounging with tea, coffee, or juice, still in their Team Japan warmups.

“That’s it, huh?” Sada asked, eyeing Haru’s splint and leaning back in her chair.

Rin drew a slow breath as he set the tray down.  _Yeah, just fucking dismiss everything we went through in the last sixteen hours—_

“First injury, Nanase-kun?” Koda asked.

“Yeah.”  Haru sat down, placing their flatware side-by-side.

Rin divided their plates, not saying anything.

“Do the doctors think it’ll heal in time?”  Otani gripped her mug of tea in two hands.

“Even if it’s not a hundred percent, you can swim with a sprain,” Sada said, brushing hair back from her face.  “So long as it’s not swollen, get a good tape job and you’ll be fine.”

“You’ve done it, Sada-san?”  Koda glanced at her.

She nodded.  “I did regional championships, one year in middle school, with a sprained ankle.”

“Sounds painful,” Koda said with a wince.  “Diving, kicking, turning—”

“Sure.”  Sada shrugged.  “But we’re talking about _Rio_.  If it’s not broken or bleeding, you make it work.  Worst case, you scratch your hardest race.  You don’t bench yourself over a sprain _._ ”

Kawamura arched a brow, glancing up from his coffee cup.  “How were your times?”

“Just fine.”  Sada pinned the guy with a glare. 

Haru wore a thoughtful look.  “The doctors said—”

“They have to say that.  Liability.  Our sponsors and coaches too.”  Sada waved it off with a flip of her hand.  “But no one can make you _not_ swim.”

“Your ankle must’ve healed up well,” Kawamura said.

“A grade two ATFL,” she said.  “Can’t even tell, now.  I never needed surgery.”

The guy smiled.  “You’re fortunate.”  He rotated his right shoulder gingerly.

Otani inhaled.  “Kawamura-san, your shoulder…?”

“I have a small tear in my supraspinatus tendon.  It’s stable for the moment, but there’s surgery in my future, no question.”  He sipped his coffee.  “The only way to stop stressing it is to retire.”  Kawamura’s gaze flicked to Haru.  “Sure, the wrist doesn’t take the brunt of your stroke.  But it’s still best to let your body heal when it needs to.”  The guy glanced at Rin.  “You’ve seen what happens when you don’t.”

Rin pressed his lips.  _Yeah_.

“There’s enough time left,” Koda said.  “I think you have a good chance, Nanase-kun.”

“But…”  Otani’s face fell.  “What about our relay training in São Paulo?”

 _Fuck_.  Rin hadn’t had time to think through the details before now.  The medley wasn’t settled, but they were _rostered_ for the 4x100 and 4x200 free.  Rin’s fingers curled into a fist beneath the table, against his leg.  Would Coach Fujino change the lineup, this late?

Beside him, Haru was quiet.  He had paused eating…and just nodded.  His gaze fell to his plate as he picked up his fork again.

“Good job, Otani,” Sada said, flicking her eyes to the ceiling.

Otani blushed hard.  “I’m sorry…”

“Our coaches know what they’re doing,” Koda said.  “If need be, they can shift some of the relay training to Rio.  Like cramming for a test at the last minute.  It’ll be hard but not impossible.” 

Otani looked down into her mug, obviously regretting what she’d said.

Kawamura finished off his coffee.  “Well, we should let you guys eat in peace.  Like you need the four of us butting in and telling you what to do.”  He smiled ruefully.  “See you later for dryland, Matsuoka?”

“Ah,” Rin said, stabbing a bit of salad with his fork.

The guy got up, the rest of their teammates following suit.

“Nanase-kun, I didn’t mean to…”  Otani trailed off, clutching her empty mug.

Haru dipped his head, and she sighed with relief.

“Come on,” Sada murmured, shepherding her away.  “The good thing about sticking your foot in your mouth is you usually learn something.”

Otani winced.  “Sada-san…”

They _finally_ left and Rin exhaled, sitting back in his chair.  _Everything you hoped for and more, right?_   He glanced at Haru.

Haru was looking out the window, his expression thoughtful as he ate slowly.

Rin leaned in, their shoulders brushing.  “Na—”

“If she’s right, I can still swim with you, Rin.  In Rio.”

The words left him cold.  “Haru…”

Haru lowered his fork, glancing down at his plate.  “There’s…no guarantees I get back here.  Four years from now.”

“ _Haru—_ ”  Rin’s jaw tightened.  _Don’t be an idiot.  You heard the whole conversation, just like I did._

“If it’s really not a big deal…”

Rin dropped his fork, shoving his plate away.  “Damnit—”

Haru looked over, startled.

Rin glared at his lover.  “Get this, Haru.  Rio isn’t the only time I want to swim with you.  I told you in Barcelona—”

Haru’s eyes hardened.  “‘Medals aren’t all I want.  I want us, too.’  —I remember, Rin.”  He set his fork down, sitting back in his chair.  “Medals are still important.”

“Not more important than _us_.”  Rin leveled his gaze.  “Not more important than our career _together_.  I said I wanted everything.  I wasn’t kidding.”  He reached over, covering the bracelet on Haru’s wrist with his hand and working to gentle his voice.  “I’m not saying to give up on Rio.  But I want forever.  And I won’t forgive you if you jeopardize that—if you _knowingly_ risk hurting yourself—for a podium.  For my sake.”  _I’ve already watched one friend’s dream die this way.  I know your wrist isn’t the same as Sousuke’s shoulder, but…  I still can’t do it again._

Haru’s eyes blew wide…and his face clouded.  He averted his gaze, his voice coming out in a raw whisper.  “Rin, when did you change your mind?”

“Dummy.”  Rin snorted.  “I never did.  You know that.”

Haru inhaled…and closed his eyes, the air rushing from his lips.  “ _For the team_ ,” he murmured in English.

“Yeah.”  Rin lifted his hand, flicking Haru’s shoulder.  “So don’t say shit like that.”

Haru’s face softened.  He glanced over with warmth in his gaze.  “You don’t fight fair, Rin.”  He reached for his fork.

Rin exhaled, the tension melting from his shoulders.  “Neither do you.”  He pressed his lips.  _I love you._

The affection in Haru’s eyes—for _him_ —was staggering.  Rin soaked it in, treasuring it, and finally turned back to his meal.

-x-

They got back to their room early enough for Haru to call home.  Rin didn’t stay, heading down to the basement with their laundry so that Haru could have privacy for the conversation.  It was…good, having a quiet moment to reflect, to face the stress of the last day without the raw emotional overload of being in the middle of it, anymore.  _We usually don’t fight this much._   But it made sense.  Tensions were high and they’d both dealt with a lot of fear, going through this for the first time.

Rin sat in one of the plastic chairs, staring at the ceiling…ignoring his phone.  There were harder conversations coming—with his mom, Sousuke, Makoto...  _God_ , he didn’t want to think about how Makoto would react.  Plus, their other teammates…  None of it was going to be easy.  _But, the two of us, though…  Somehow, we keep pulling each other in._   He didn’t know how that worked, but he was grateful for it.

Haru was napping when Rin got back with their laundry—passed out on top of the covers in his T-shirt and underwear, his wrist propped on the shark toy with an ice pack lying beside.

Rin returned the ice pack to the freezer.  He put away their clean clothes and changed for the gym. 

Dryland helped—moving, discipline, sweating.  It felt _normal_ when everything else since last night hadn’t.  His teammates were back to minding their own shit, which was nice.  Sada was trying to get Otani to do more pullups.  Kawamura and Koda were spotting each other bench pressing.  The only thing missing was Maekawa yelling at Momo for running off, distracted, every five minutes…

Rin picked up dinner on the way back.

Haru was awake, this time.  He was sitting in the armchair with a blanket, his sketchbook open across his lap, drawing by the light from a nearby lamp.  He looked up when Rin entered, his gaze…enigmatic, which was rare these days.

“How was it?” Rin asked, placing the tray on the desk.  “They took it OK?”

“Yeah.  They asked questions, but they seem fine.  Even my mom.”

Rin nodded.

“How was dryland?”

“Worked up a good sweat.”  He plucked the neck of his gym shirt.  “I’m gonna shower.  Here’s dinner…”  Rin gestured to the tray.  “Feel free to get started.”

“I’m not hungry right now.  I had some _saba_ earlier.”

Rin shrugged.  “OK.”  He moved the to-go containers to the fridge, shifting items around as needed to make room.  As he straightened, his eyes caught on Haru’s sketchbook—it was a beach.  “What are you drawing?”

“Málaga,” Haru said, his eyes softening.  “At sunset.”

Rin smiled faintly.  “I can see it when it’s done?”

Haru nodded.

He leaned in for a kiss.  “I’ll just be a couple minutes.”

“OK.”

In the bathroom, Rin sighed, peeling off his sticky workout clothes and dropping everything into a pile.  He adjusted the spray to his liking, preferring it on the cool side today, and stepped into the shower.  It only took a minute to wash his hair and rinse the sweat from his body.  Then he let the water run, leaning one arm against the tile wall and resting his forehead there.  He couldn’t help thinking of the bath he and Haru shared in Málaga…how nice it felt, relaxing in his lover’s arms…  _Not to mention the rest of that bath, or the night before…_

When the shower door opened, Rin lifted a brow but didn’t otherwise move.  Arms slid around his waist from behind—one normal wrist and one still swollen—as Haru’s body pressed flush to his, warm against his back, all the way down to the backs of his thighs.  Soft lips trailed from his spine to his left shoulder, waking sweet sensations in his body, the first pulses of desire.  There was no mistaking Haru’s state.  _You’re not being shy or subtle at all._

Haru kept his left hand still, but his right glided across Rin’s skin in the cascading water, unhurried caresses over his chest and abs…  Rin’s breaths thickened in the moist air, his body responding eagerly to Haru’s touch…until Haru’s hand finally drifted lower, right where Rin wanted him—

Rin groaned and pulled away, turning in Haru’s arms.  He met blue eyes swimming with affection and desire, nothing held back or hidden now.

“You’re sure?” Rin asked.

“Yeah,” Haru said, leaning in for his lips.

Rin drew back after the first touch.  “We’re going to the bed.  I want you to put the splint back on.”

“OK.”  Haru reached behind him, turning off the water.

They toweled off and got the splint settled carefully before sinking down to the sheets.

He was probably being _too_ gentle, but Haru didn’t seem to mind.  Rin wasn’t trying to make up for anything—sex would never be a commodity like that—he wanted, though, for this to be good for Haru and special…something that would ease the upheaval of the last day for both of them, grounding them.

He pressed Haru to the bed, starting with lazy glides of hips and slow, deep kisses.  Rin appreciated that Haru kept his splinted wrist out of the way against the blankets, one less thing to mind.  As he sensed Haru’s eagerness—or maybe impatience—building, Rin left Haru’s lips, sliding down the bed and nipping at Haru’s abs as he went…

Rin’s efforts made Haru’s breath hitch sharply, followed by a rough groan.  Warm fingers tangled into Rin’s hair.  The sounds Haru made were better than any music, better than the sunset beach in Málaga where they were pressed against each other amidst the waves.  He loved making Haru tremble, loved it when the fingers in his hair tightened into a fist…

When Haru pushed at him, Rin stopped, catching his breath and making his way back up his lover’s body to wild blue eyes and Haru’s lips parted with soft panting.  They kissed, groaning into each other’s mouths as their bodies slid together.  Rin balanced his weight on his elbow, slipping a hand between them to augment the patient rock of hips—

Haru broke from their kiss with a moan, his head falling back against the pillow.  Rin ducked his head to the broad expanse of exposed neck beneath him, asserting his mouth and teeth on the sensitive spot that made Haru gasp and shiver.  He kept up with steady movements, sweat breaking out on his skin as his passions caught up with the urgency he felt in Haru’s limbs, as Haru’s nails bit into his shoulder.

“ _Rin_ —” 

His name was a breathless plea and Rin lifted his head, meeting his lover’s gaze.  Haru’s eyes were awash with pleasure, fastened on him, and it was all the encouragement Rin needed to give more—

Haru succumbed first, arching against him with a low cry before sinking back to the bed with fluttering lashes and rough breaths.  Rin followed with shudders and choked gasps—

He couldn’t stop shaking as he lay against Haru’s chest, the see-saw of emotions over the last twenty-some hours leaving him utterly drained of vigor.  The moment was precious, alive with the reassurances of their love that _wasn’t_ fragile.  The bitterness of the guilt started to fade, just a little.

“…Rin?” Haru asked eventually, still breathing hard.

“Did it hurt your wrist?”  Rin raised his head, meeting the warmth in Haru’s eyes.

“No…”  Haru paused, lifting a brow.  “My neck?”

Rin’s face heated as he glanced down at the red spot he’d made.  “Er, if anyone asks, we can say—”

“Cupping.”  Haru’s eyes lit with mirth.  His right hand slid into Rin’s hair, his gaze softening with boundless affection.  “Love you.”

Lighter emotions stirred in Rin’s heart, soothing the ache within.  He fell against Haru’s lips for a kiss…and sighed gently.  “Love you.”  Rin pressed their foreheads together, basking in the brief reprieve.

For blissful minutes, they stayed like that, holding each other…until the alarm on Rin’s phone trilled, bringing them back to reality.

Rin exhaled.  “Nn, I guess—” 

“Just get it and come back.  I’m too comfortable to move.”

He smiled.  “OK.”

Rin’s first stop was the bathroom, to retrieve his phone from his discarded clothes and grab a washcloth before he went to the freezer.

They situated themselves beneath the blankets, curled up together.  Haru laid his arm over top of them, resting his wrist against Rin’s shoulder.  Rin twisted, pressing a kiss to the pad of Haru’s left thumb before he carefully wrapped the ice pack around the splint.

“Na, Haru…”  Rin aligned their fingertips, his head resting on Haru’s chest.  “You forgive me?”

The calming rise-fall of Haru’s chest beneath Rin’s cheek was interrupted by a deeper breath.  “Rin…”

“I know.  But I think I need to hear you—”

“I forgive you,” Haru said, even before Rin got all the words out.

 _Haru._   Rin squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the sting of moisture behind his eyelids.

Haru’s other hand lifted to his head, fingers weaving into his hair.  “You need to forgive yourself.”

Somehow, that was a lot harder…

“Hey—”  Haru’s arms tightened around him, drawing him closer.

Rin lifted his head, meeting the tenderness in Haru’s eyes.

Haru’s right hand trailed down the side of his face in a slow, sweet caress.  “I’m really gonna be OK, Rin,” he whispered.

Rin hitched a breath.  “Yeah.”  He knew that; deep in his heart he wasn’t doubting anymore. 

Haru’s gaze was filled with love and compassion.  “Promise me you’ll try.”

The quiet words were an invitation to something new—something he’d never been good at.  But, with Haru, it seemed possible.  Just like when they were kids… _when we’re together, I feel like I can do anything._ Rin exhaled, the weight on his shoulders lessening.  “I promise,” he said, and meant it.

Haru smiled, pulling him down for a kiss.


	25. Dryland

* * *

Wednesday, July 13th, 2016

* * *

The alarm was going off again—that damn, incessant buzzing.  Rin rolled over with a groan, finding his phone in the dark and fumbling with it until the sound finally stopped.  He shoved the covers back, planting his bare feet on the cold tile floor.  On the nightstand, his phone blithely displayed the time in pale numerals—02:31—before the screen faded to black again.  _Fuck_.  Why was the second night so much harder than the first?  Going to four-hour icing intervals was supposed to be easier…

Rin forced himself to his feet, rubbing a hand across his brow as he trudged to the other side of the room.  He grabbed a fresh ice pack from the freezer and came back.  The bedside clock on Haru’s nightstand was the only source of light, casting a dim, ice-blue glow over a mess of blankets and the glossy black of Haru’s hair against his pillow.

Rin paused, bleary-eyed, trying in vain to discern Haru’s left arm from the various shapes beneath the covers.  He gave up with a sigh, climbing back into bed and making sense of the sheets.  Haru was curled up on his left side, towards Rin.  _That can’t be good for your arm._ Haru’s splinted wrist was tucked under the edge of his pillow, up against the divide of the beds.  It didn’t appear that he was putting weight on it, but _still._

“Sorry,” Rin murmured as he gingerly extracted Haru’s arm—

“Nn.”  Haru shifted but didn’t open his eyes.  His fingers twitched against the plastic splint and he frowned slightly.

 _Yeah.  I know_.  Rin carefully wrapped the ice pack around the splint.

“ _Nn_.”  Haru’s brow knit with irritation.  He pulled away, turning onto his other side.  His arm disappeared under the covers.

Rin exhaled.  “Haru…”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop doing that, Rin?”

“The instructions…”

“I don’t care,” Haru muttered.  “My arm’s not gonna fall off because we didn’t ice it overnight.”

Rin sank onto an elbow, tugging at the blankets.  “I got it already.  Stop complaining so we can both go back to sleep.”

Haru grunted but relinquished the covers, letting Rin pull his arm free. 

Rin settled the ice pack on top of Haru’s wrist, holding it in place.

“It’s cold,” Haru said.

Rin scooted closer, aligning his body to Haru’s until they were skin-to-skin except for their underwear.  “Better?”

“ _Nn_ …”  But Haru didn’t pull away this time.

Rin made note of the clock before he dropped his head to Haru’s pillow and closed his eyes.  The ice pack burned cold against his fingertips.

Haru stifled a yawn.  “You need sleep, Rin,” he murmured, his voice drowsy.

“So do you,” Rin whispered, pressing his face against the back of Haru’s head.  He breathed in Haru’s familiar scent; Haru's hair was soft against his nose and brow.

“You have to train today.”

 _I don’t want to think about that._   “I’m fine, Haru.”

Haru went quiet, his breaths starting to shallow.  He mumbled something unintelligible and went back to sleep.

Rin sighed, his breath stirring the hair at the nape of Haru’s neck.  Twenty minutes.  He just had to stay awake for twenty minutes… 

-x-

It was still dark at 6:30am.  Rin silenced his alarm, rolling over to cold, vacant sheets—

He snapped awake, sitting up.  “Haru?”  Rin blinked, barely breathing as his eyes adjusted—

“I’m here, Rin.”  Haru was on the other side of the room, on the two-seat sofa.  The light from his phone glinted off his hair and gently illuminated his frame, navy-blue T-shirt, and the ice pack on his wrist.  His legs were tucked beneath a blanket.  He glanced over, then returned his attention to his phone.  “Go back to sleep.”

“…Ah.”  Just the sound of Haru’s voice made the sudden panic fizzle.  Rin, too tired to argue, dropped back down to the bed.  He drifted off, listening to the quiet _tap_ , _tap-tap-tap_ coming from the sofa.

…Sunrise was peeking around the curtains when Haru came to bed.  Rin stirred at the rustle of sheets.  _I should get up._   But then Haru slid against him, draping him in comfortable warmth…and all desire to move faded.  Haru’s left arm circled his torso, the plastic splint still chilly from the ice pack.  Rin curled his hand around Haru’s fingertips and snuggled in.

“Love you, Haru,” he murmured, as sleep dragged him under.

Haru’s breath caressed his cheek; lips touched the edge of his jaw.  “Love you, Rin.”

-x-

In the bathroom, Rin dried his face and studied his reflection in the mirror.  He didn’t look that bad.  Good enough to pass Coach Maekawa’s mirror test, anyways.  He hung the towel on the rack, pulling on his warmup pants and a Team Japan T-shirt over his black and red square legs.

Out in the room, Haru was poking around in the mini-fridge, still in his T-shirt and boxer briefs. 

“You’re not coming?” Rin asked, double-checking the contents of his gear bag.  _Not even to put your feet in?_

Haru straightened, nudging the fridge closed with two bottled smoothies tucked into the elbow of his left arm and a packaged sandwich in his right hand.  He turned and shook his head, transferring the items to the end-table one-by-one.  “Makoto’s been texting me.  I guess my mom talked to his mom…  So, I need to call.”

Rin tensed, a cold feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.  _So that’s who you were texting earlier._ He drew breath, trying not to picture Makoto’s face…  But all he could see was the pain in pale green eyes and the warmth of a gentle smile while the words echoed in his ears—

_You guys are really good for each other.  Be sure to take care of him, when you’re together in Brazil._

Rin pressed his lips, looking away.  _I promised.  But we’re not even in Brazil and I already fucked things up._

“Rin?”

He shook it off, forcing a smile as he slid the strap of his bag onto his shoulder.  “OK.”  Rin turned for the door.

“ _Oi_ —”  Haru caught up with him, his left arm wrapping around Rin’s waist.

Rin froze with his hand on the doorknob, sucking in a slow, startled breath as he stared down at Haru’s wrist.  Yeah, the injury was protected by the splint, but it wasn’t impenetrable.  If he’d already had the door open— _it would’ve hit you_.  The air threaded out through Rin’s teeth.  “Haru, you need to be more careful.”

“It’s fine, Rin.”  Haru’s right arm joined his left, squeezing Rin in a hug.  He was holding one of the bottles.  “Here.”  It was a thick beverage, the color of red grapes.  The label was in Spanish with pictures of various fruits and vegetables.

Rin swallowed with effort.  “You should save those.  I can get something downstairs.”

“There’s plenty.  This one’s mostly vegetables, so it shouldn’t be too sweet for you.”

Moisture stung Rin’s eyes.  _I’m supposed to be taking care of you.  Not the other way around._   “Haru…”

“You need to eat, Rin.”  Haru leaned in, his forehead pressed to Rin’s hair.  “Last night, you barely ate anything.”

Rin accepted the bottle, turning in Haru’s embrace and looping his arms around Haru’s neck.  He kissed his lover on the mouth, his eyes shut to hold the tears back.  _I’m sorry._   But he didn’t say it out loud.  Haru didn’t want to hear him apologizing about this anymore.  Rin drew back, gathering himself with a breath.  “Thanks.”

Haru’s gaze was searching; Rin could read his concern, though most people wouldn’t have seen anything other than Haru’s usual stoic expression.  After a beat, Haru let go.  His right hand fell to his side; his left he held elevated, his arm bent at the elbow.  “See you in a bit?”

“Yeah.”  Rin nodded.  He clutched the chilled bottle and headed out the door.

The taste of his regret was beet, carrot, and sweet potato with a hint of apple.

-x-

“How’s he doing this morning?” Kawamura asked, stretching his swim cap over light brown hair as he and Rin left the locker room.

Rin exhaled.  _Willful, stubborn, completely unconcerned about his own well-being…_   “He’s…pretty normal, I guess.”

Kawamura smiled good-naturedly.  “Nanase-kun seems like the type to bounce back fairly quickly.  Good for him.”

“Yeah,” Rin said.  _He’s always been like that_.  His steps slowed as he pulled on his swim cap, following Kawamura to join Coach Maekawa and the rest of their teammates behind the start blocks.

After Maekawa explained the set, Rin was up on the block for lane three, leading off for warm ups with his teammates behind him.  He stared out across the water that Haru loved, his gaze catching on the opposite side—at the plastic line between lanes five and six…  It was the first time he’d been in the pool since that night.  Haru should’ve been in front of him, gliding effortlessly through the water, _giving me something to aim for._  

Rin pressed his goggles into place.  He bent and dove in, starting measured strokes of free.  His dive was flawless, his form was perfect, but the water felt all wrong without Haru.

It was a lighter set, only 3500 meters.  Rin raked off his cap and goggles after cool down, climbing out of the pool by lane one.

“Good job, everyone,” Coach Maekawa said, lowering her clipboard.  “Dryland starts on the track this afternoon.”

There was a chorus of _hai’s_ before they headed towards the locker room.  Otani kept looking over as if she wanted to ask about Haru, but her face clouded and she didn’t say anything.

“Matsuoka-kun?”

Rin stopped at the summons from Coach Maekawa, turning around.  “Hai.”

Maekawa was in the middle of packing things into her messenger bag.  “I heard from the Institute; Kasai-san will be here first thing tomorrow morning.  You can tell him?” 

“Ah.”  Rin dipped his head.

She straightened, her gaze flicking over his face.  “Make sure you get your naps in.  For taper.”

 _You can tell, huh?_   He suppressed the urge to sigh.  “Hai.”  He bowed lower the second time.  “Thank you, Maekawa-sensei.  For everything.”

She exhaled.  “Taking care of you guys is my job, Matsuoka-kun.”  Maekawa glanced away, absently rubbing her left elbow just below her T-shirt sleeve.  “It was hard enough last time, pulling you aside during the Bergen Swim Festival to tell you…  If Nanase-kun had been injured in France, I can’t imagine trying to—”  She pressed her lips.  “Coach Fujino said it best, the other night when I was on the phone with him—‘at least the two of them have what they need.’”  Her smile was compassionate.  “For all the ways this could’ve gone, we’ve been fortunate.”

 _But it shouldn’t have happened at all._  

Maekawa lifted her bag.  “Hang in there.”

Emotion lodged in Rin’s throat.  “Ah.”

-x-

Rin carried to-go containers back to their room, the muscles along his spine tightening as he walked down the hallway towards their door.  By now, Haru’s conversation with Makoto should’ve been over.  Shame gathered in his stomach as he remembered the careless words he’d said that night at the restaurant, during the trials in April.  _I’m never doing that—falling in love._  

It was almost two months before Makoto asked.  _Either you gave me the benefit of the doubt or, for Haru’s sake…_   When the question came, Rin didn’t have an answer.  _Still_ , Makoto smiled and said something kind.  _I would never have acted like that, if I thought my best friend was in love with some jerk._ Hell, he’d gotten on Sousuke’s case over a friends-with-benefits relationship that wasn’t any of his business.

It all pointed back to how much Makoto cared about _Haru_ and respected what _Haru_ wanted.  Rin’s love, in comparison, hardly felt like enough.  He couldn’t be jealous of what Haru and Makoto had—or could’ve had, allowing that Haru didn’t share Makoto’s feelings.  If love was a matter of who was deserving, Rin would never measure up.

He was staring at the door, the tray balanced on one hand, the keycard still in his pocket.  _How long have I been standing here?_  

Rin sighed, getting the card out.  He unlocked the door and opened it.

The shower was going. 

Rin set the tray on the desk, dropping his gear bag and tidying up a sandwich wrapper and an empty can of _saba_.  Haru had made a nest on the sofa with a blanket, his shark plush, and his art supplies.  His phone was plugged in near the lamp.  The only thing Rin particularly noticed was Haru’s sketchbook.  It was different than the one he usually saw Haru with.  This one was smaller, worn, with a blue cover.  It was closed, though, and Rin wasn’t going to pry.

Rin grabbed one of the cartons of milk he’d brought and parked himself in the armchair with the remote.  With the TV muted, he flicked through the channels while sipping.

The shower turned off a few minutes later.

Haru came out naked, rubbing his hair with a towel.  He wasn’t wearing the splint, either.  “How was practice?”

“It was fine,” Rin said, working to keep his voice casual.  “How did it go with Makoto?”

Haru shrugged, draping the towel around his neck.  He slipped into a clean pair of underwear.  “Fine.”

 _Damnit_.  Rin lowered the milk carton.  _I guess I started it, but…_   “He’s…upset?”

Haru shook his head.  He retrieved the blue sketchbook and put it away.  “It’s not a big deal, Rin.  He gets it.”

 _Not a big deal…_   “Haru, we’re talking about _Rio—_ ”  Rin closed his mouth with a snap the second he realized what he was saying.  _Fuck!  Like you need to be reminded about that._

Haru fell quiet.  He pulled on a navy-blue T-shirt—the one he wore on the beach in Málaga.  Then he was flexing his left fingers, looking at his swollen limb.  The splint left faint lines on his skin.

Rin cleared his throat, but his voice still came out hoarse.  “You should put the splint back on.”

“In a minute.”  Haru came over, retrieving his phone from beside the lamp.  “Can you take a picture?”

“Of your wrists?”  He accepted the device Haru handed over.

“Yeah, both.”  Haru sat down on the sofa, pulling the blanket and stuffed shark into his lap.  He held out his arms, palms down, side-by-side.  “So I can tell when it’s less swollen.”

“…Ah.”  Rin leaned over, trying to keep the device steady as he took the shot.  “…See if that’s OK.”

Haru took the phone back. 

Rin’s gaze dropped to Haru’s injured wrist.  The swelling was obvious, Haru’s wrist bones were almost completely lost compared to his other wrist.  The skin at the base of his hand was bruised deep purple.

“It’s not red anymore,” Haru said.

Rin inhaled, his eyes starting to sting.  He bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling.

“It doesn’t hurt as bad today.”

Rin ran his hand across his eyes.  _Come on, Matsuoka, keep it together.  All you do is fall apart._   His breath came out roughly.

“Rin.”  The blanket shifted as Haru got up.  Haru’s hand covered his—Haru’s _left_ hand and Rin stopped breathing, a tremor running through his body.

Haru climbed onto the chair with him, knees to either side of Rin’s hips.  Haru’s hands slipped into his hair, silently coaxing his gaze.

Rin managed to swallow, lifting his head.  Haru’s expression was largely unreadable, but there was a faint softness in blue eyes—for him alone—that made Rin’s heart lurch in his chest and the first tears spill from his eyes.

“I’m not mad, Rin,” Haru said.

“ _Haru_ —”  Rin’s vision blurred.  He wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist, pulling his lover close.  Rin buried his face in Haru’s T-shirt.

Haru’s fingers sifted slowly through his hair.  “How was practice really?”

Rin’s eyes burned, his tears soaked up by navy-blue fabric.  “It _sucked_.”  The words poured free, muffled against Haru’s chest.  “Everything felt wrong without you.”  Rin’s voice hitched in a sob; he clutched handfuls of Haru’s T-shirt.  “ _Everything_ …”

Haru’s arms circled his shoulders; lips brushed the top of his head.  Rin stopped fighting the tears, letting them come.  Haru held him as he cried.

-x-

Rin felt better when he woke up—drained but calm.  He carefully extracted himself from Haru’s embrace and climbed out of bed, still in his square legs.  Grabbing a fresh pair of underwear, he changed in the bathroom and washed his face.  The redness had mostly faded from his eyes.  Rin finger-combed his hair into place, wandering back out into the room.

After pulling on a T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, he checked his phone.  It was only a few minutes after 10am.  Rin sighed.  The last day and a half had been the longest of his life.

Haru was still asleep with his splinted left arm stretched across the divide, resting on Rin’s pillow. 

Rin’s gaze caught there, a stray thought coming to mind—the one bed in Málaga.  _That_ was nice.  _Maybe when we get a place together, after Rio…_   The more he imagined it—their future—the stronger he felt.  Haru was going to get better.  What they were going through now was only temporary.  _I guess I have to keep reminding myself._   Maybe that was the only way to get through this.

Rin poured himself a glass of tap water and sank down onto the sofa with his phone.  He drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he flicked through his contacts.  This was something he needed to do.  Putting it off wouldn’t make it any easier.

Rin lifted the phone to his ear.  As it rang, he debated—maybe he should’ve gone out to the lounge—but he wasn’t going to be loud and Haru could sleep through most things, so…

The phone rang for longer than usual—enough to make Rin wonder if his mom was still driving, but she should’ve been home by now—

“ _Rin-honey!  We were just talking about you!_ ”  His mom’s voice was bright with energy.

Rin cleared his throat.  “Um, ‘we?’”

“ _Yes!  I’m Skyping with your sister.  Give me a second; I’ll patch you in, OK?_ ”

The line went dead before he could say anything else.  Rin glanced at the bed.  Well, this wasn’t going to be quiet, but it wasn’t like disturbing other athletes in the lounge would be much better.  _If I closed myself in the bathroom…_

The phone trilled in his hand and Rin answered—

“ _Onii-chan!_ ”  Gou was beaming from the left side of his screen, her red hair pulled up into a bouncy tail.  “ _I haven’t gotten to see you since Haruka-senpai’s birthday_.”

“ _Oi_ , Gou—”  Rin lowered the volume.  A muffled grunt came from the bed.

“ _At least you got to see him then_ ,” Rin’s mom said, tucking a length of mulberry hair behind her ear.  “ _For me, it’s been since Tokyo_.”  Then she burst into a grin, almost squealing.  “ _Oh, honey, you look so good.  You got your hair cut and…_ ”  She peered at him through the screen.  “ _Rin, did you get your eyebrows done?_ ”

Rin winced, his face heating.  “Mom…”  Across the room, Haru sat up, stretching his arms over his head.  _So much for not disturbing you.  Sorry._

Gou’s eyes widened.  “ _Onii-chan_.”  She giggled.  “ _Did you…lose a bet or something?_ ”

“No.  It was for a—”

“ _Oh, did everyone have to do it?  Haruka-senpai too?_ ”

“ _Speaking of Haruka_ …”  Rin’s mom smiled.  “ _Where is he, honey?_ ”

“He’s…”  Rin trailed off as Haru pulled on a T-shirt and sweatpants and joined him.

Rin gave Haru an apologetic look when their eyes met.  _Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up._

Haru shrugged in reply, his gaze warm and drowsy.  Stifling a yawn, he sat down on the sofa next to Rin and got comfortable, their sides pressed together. 

Haru leaned in towards the phone, waving with his splinted left arm.  “Hi, Auntie Miya.  Gou.”

_Not exactly how I planned to break the news, Haru._

Rin’s mom and sister sucked air and spoke over each other— 

“ _Haruka_ —”

“ _Haruka-senpai, what happened to your arm?!_ ”

“I have a grade one scapholunate sprain,” Haru said.

Haru’s words hung between them and the screen for a moment—

In unison, the two women exhaled with obvious relief.

“ _Oh, grade one_ ,” Gou said.

Rin’s mom shook her head.  “ _Haruka-honey, don’t worry me like that_.”

“ _It’s not a usual swimming injury, though_ ,” Gou said.  “ _Did you fall?_ ”

Haru lifted his shoulders.  “Sort of.”

Rin pressed his lips, not saying anything.

Gou paused for a moment, thoughtfully, then her eyes flicked to him.

Rin inhaled.  “What?”

“It was an accident,” Haru said.

Rin’s mom frowned.  “ _Oh, honey_ …”

 _Damnit._   Rin’s face went hot.  “How do you…?”

“ _Because you’re always tackling Haruka-senpai_.”  Gou hummed sympathetically.  “ _High school…sixth grade…Barcelona…_ ”

Rin fell quiet.

“ _Don’t feel bad, Rin_ ,” his mom said.  “ _Your dad was the same way.  He used to do that to me, all the time_.”  She smiled fondly.  “ _Once, when we were in college and he’d just gotten back from a training camp, he was so happy to see me and I was carrying this huge stack of books…  I tripped, scraped my chin and chipped a tooth.  I had to get stitches and get a fake tooth put in_ —”

Gou’s eyes widened.  “ _What?  Mom, you never said_ —”

“ _Well, it was before you two were born.  We’d just gotten married not even a year before that_.”  She waved a hand.  “ _Anyway, your dad felt horrible for weeks.  Even when I tried to assure him I was fine.  And he waited on me hand and foot though I just had bumps and bruises_.”

Rin could feel Haru’s gaze.  He didn’t look over, his face starting to burn.

Rin’s mom chuckled. “ _We Matsuokas are just…physical with our affections.  That’s all.  I’m sure Haruka knows that_.”

“Hai,” Haru said.

 _Oh dear God._   Rin’s ears were going to burst into flames at any moment.

 _“Grade one should heal before Rio,”_ Gou said.  _“Just a couple weeks ago, I was helping a hurdler who fell during practice.  He’s fine now, aside from a few scrapes.  And it didn’t negatively affect his muscles at all.”_    She touched her face, her eyes glittering dreamily.  _“I’m so jealous.  All those Olympic-grade muscles you’ll see in Rio.”_

Rin rolled his eyes.   _Like I’ll be paying any attention, Gou._

Rin’s mom cleared her throat.  _“Speaking of Rio…  I don’t need to worry about any Olympic Village craziness, right?  Since you two seem serious about each other.”_

“M-Mom!”  Rin almost dropped the phone.  Haru caught his wrist, saving the device from tumbling to the floor.  Rin just knew— _knew—_ that his face was the color of his hair.  As mortified as he was, though, her observation wasn’t lost on him.  He liked it—that other people could tell they were in a serious relationship.

“That’s right,” Haru said. 

Rin’s breath caught, warmth spreading through his chest.  He liked that even more— _Haru_ talking about them being exclusive.  _For the first time, you didn’t add any hedging words about me changing my mind…_   Knowing Haru, that option wasn’t off the table—Rin would always be ‘free’ to choose, _but—  You finally believed me—that I want us and only us_.  Rin bit his lower lip to keep from grinning; inside, he was beaming.  He snuck a glance at Haru…and found Haru sneaking a glance back, reading his reaction.  Pleasure lit in Haru’s gaze, followed by a faint blush, and it got even harder for Rin to contain himself. 

 _“Oh, that’s a relief,”_ Rin’s mom said.  Her eyes sparkled knowingly, as if she wasn’t at all surprised by their answer.

 _“Mom, it’s not fair,”_ Gou said, frowning on her side of the screen.  _“You’re fine with them dating, but any guy even looks at me and—”_

Rin’s mom sighed.  _“The youngest child is always the wild one.”_

_“I’m not wild!”_

_“Gou, you talk about a different boy’s muscles every week.”_

_“I do not!”_

Rin’s mom arched a brow.  _“Just before your brother called, we were discussing—”_

Gou turned tomato-red.  _“That was for class!”_

_“The photo you sent the other day really looked like schoolwork, honey.”_

_“I sent that by accident!”_

Haru watched the exchange, looking amused.  As Gou and Rin’s mom continued to fire back and forth, he leaned close, whispering.  “Rin, we’re gonna have two, right?  It’s more fun with siblings.”

Abruptly, the women cut off.

Rin cleared his throat roughly.  “Someday.”

“ _Oh, but you better be talking about years and years from now, because I can’t be a grandma at my age!_ ”  But his mom’s eyes gleamed with delight.

“ _Haruka-senpai…  I could call you, maybe…uhm_ …”  Gou blushed furiously, her voice dropping to a whisper.  “ _Haruka-nii-san?_ ”

“OK.”  Haru looked pleased.

Gou covered her mouth, muffling a squeal.  “ _I’m gonna have two brothers with amazing muscles!_ ”

Rin exhaled, his heart overflowing.  He shifted his phone to his other hand so he could slip his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  _I love you so much._   His eyes stung and he couldn’t help thinking it—this was the family he missed, that he wanted to have again.  _You brought it back to me._

Haru leaned in, squeezing Rin’s knee.  He met Rin’s gaze and smiled.

Rin’s mom sniffed as if she were fighting tears.  “ _We should, uhm, let you two go_ …”  She fanned her face briefly.  “ _Oh, Rin.  By the way…  I did find some pictures.  The ones you asked for, with your dad_.”  Her smile turned bittersweet.  “ _I can send some to you, if you want_.”

The shadow of grief was suddenly right at hand.  Rin inhaled, prickling with familiar pain.  _I don’t know if I can take that right now._

“ _It can wait, too.  If you’d rather_ …”

Haru reached up wordlessly, touching his hand with fingers encased in the splint.  It was a quiet reassurance, Haru’s presence giving him courage.

Rin let out a slow breath.  “You can send them now.”

“ _Can…I have them, too?_ ” Gou asked in a small voice.

“ _Sure_.”  Their mom smiled, her eyes brimming with moisture.  “ _I’ll send them later tonight, OK?  I have to finish grading papers first._ ”  She fanned her face again, blinking a couple of times before she continued.  “ _Well, you kids rest and take care of each other.  We’ll talk again soon, alright?_ ”

Gou waved, also looking misty-eyed.  “ _Bye, Onii-chan, Haruka-nii-san!_ ”

Rin and Haru waved.  The screen went dark…

Rin lowered the phone.

Haru hummed sheepishly.  “Did I embarrass you, Rin?”

Rin smiled, his eyes brimming with happy tears.  He tackled Haru carefully, burying his face in Haru’s hair.  “Nah,” he said.

-x-

The emails were there later that afternoon, while they were icing Haru’s wrist.  They were sitting on the bed with the TV on but muted, lounging on top of the covers in their T-shirts and sweatpants.  In a few minutes, Rin would have to get ready for dryland.  He stared at the messages without opening them, then set the phone aside.

“Rin?” Haru asked, looking at him. 

Rin dropped down to the bed, lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling.  “I’m not ready.”  _You just got injured.  I’ve already cried so much today._

Haru stretched out beside him, tucking his injured arm around Rin’s body.  “OK.”

Rin exhaled with relief, the tension in his back unwinding. 

Haru snuggled in, his head resting on Rin’s chest.  “When you’re ready, let’s take a walk again.  Just the two of us.”

“Yeah.”  Rin smiled, threading his fingers into Haru’s hair.  “Thanks, Haru.”

* * *

Thursday, July 14th, 2016

* * *

The clinic was busier during the day; the waiting room was crowded with athletes scheduled for routine altitude checkups or needing to work with the trainers on staff.  Rin and Haru were both dressed in Team Japan T-shirts and warmup pants, though only Rin had his gear bag.  After this, he had to head across the hall to the pool for practice.

It was a weird kind of déjà vu, being back here two and a half days later.  Haru was quiet again, though not in the alarming way he’d been that night.  Rin was the one who was tense; he could feel it all along his spine.

The wait wasn’t more than a minute.  The inner door opened, a woman leaning out in a black Sports Sciences polo shirt and tan slacks.  “Nanase-kun?”  She had black hair smoothed back into a ponytail and a sunny disposition.  Rin recognized Kasai from the videoconference call on Tuesday.

Haru got up and Rin followed.  The woman took them to the exam room.  Today, the place was partitioned into smaller spaces.  Their area just had a couple of chairs and a cabinet that was doubling as a desk.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.  I’m Kasai Junko.”  She shook hands with them in turn, hardly pausing for a breath before she continued on.  “It’s so exciting to be here!  I’ve been on staff with the Institute for five years.  I wanted to go to London, but I was too junior at the time.  Ever since I was selected for the trip to Rio, I’ve been studying Portuguese.  I think I know enough by now to get myself in trouble.”  She laughed lightly.  “Well, Nanase-kun, let’s have a look at your wrist, OK?  Have a seat.”

Haru was stone-faced as he sat down, but Rin knew that look.  Haru was already irritated. 

Rin pressed his lips, fighting the urge to smile.  _So she enjoys her job.  Would you rather be treated by someone who didn’t?_

Haru undid the Velcro straps, removing the splint.

“Oh, that’s coming along nicely!  Good, good,” Kasai said.  She opened a folder from on top of the cabinet, withdrawing a laminated sheet with a colorful spectrum of happy to sad smiley faces on it.  “This is a pain scale.  How would you rate your pain today, Nanase-kun?”  Under each face was a number from zero to ten and a description.

Haru exhaled and studied the sheet briefly.  “Three.”

“Excellent!  That’s very good news.”  Kasai put the sheet away and took out a handful of others.  “We’ll be able to check your range of motion and start in on some stretching exercises.  When your pain is less, we’ll add strengthening exercises too.”  She fanned out laminated cards with colored sketches of various wrist stretches and motions.  “We can get started right away, unless you have any questions, Nanase-kun?”

Haru’s eyes flicked to him in a very clear, _Save me, Rin._

Rin smiled, squeezing Haru’s shoulder.  _One hour with an energetic physical therapist isn’t going to kill you, Haru._   “I can see you’re in good hands.  I’ll be right across the hall.”

Haru’s eyes narrowed with betrayal.

“Thank you, Kasai-san,” Rin said.

“Of course!”  She set the cards aside.  “So, Nanase-kun, first I’ll have you do this.”  She made a slow motion with her wrist.  “Stop when it hurts, OK?”

Haru sighed with resignation, lifting his arm.

-x-

Practice was still hard, but Rin felt better today, knowing Haru was getting the best help possible…even if he’d be annoyed in the process.  Maekawa had Rin working a mix of fly and free, still no fifties which was fine.  _I doubt I could do a breathless fifty if my life depended on it, right now_.  After a brutal 4200 meters, he did a leisurely 200 free cool down, gliding through the cool water the way Haru liked to, as if the feel of the velvet liquid against his skin was all he needed in the world.

At the end, Rin stretched for the wall on lane six, popping up to catch his breath and remove his cap and goggles.  He climbed out at the side of the pool, using the ladder and rail.

“Maekawa-sensei, it’s so good to see you again!”

Rin spun at the bright voice of Haru’s physical therapist.  Haru and Kasai were just coming into the room.  Kasai was waving while Haru—still in his Team Japan T-shirt and pants—was taking a deep breath of the chlorinated air as if it had been years, not days, since he’d last been poolside.

Haru had a different brace on his wrist, this one was black and left his fingers mobile.  He tugged on the throat of his T-shirt, looking longingly towards the pool.

 _If you were wearing a swimsuit, there’s no way you wouldn’t be in there right now._ By the look in Haru’s eyes, he was clearly debating how much trouble he could get into, stripping down and jumping into the water in his underwear.

Rin got to his side as they all gathered behind the blocks.  “Haru.”

Haru looked at him, blue eyes flicking down his body and back up in a perusal that left Rin all kinds of warm.

Rin tore his gaze away, rubbing the back of his neck and hoping to God he didn’t go red.

“Hi, everyone!” Kasai said.  “I’m Kasai Junko, from the Sports Sciences institute in Tokyo.  It’s so great to be here!  Some of you, I’ve met before, but I wanted to introduce myself again.  Even though I’m here to work with Nanase-kun, if anyone else has concerns, I’d be happy to address those with you anytime.  Just let me know—”

She went on for another thirty seconds before stopping to shake hands with everyone.  Rin tried not to smile.  Yeah, she was exuberant, but…  _Momo has you beat, no contest._

Kasai got to talking with Coach Maekawa, who dismissed them all with a wave.

“Sparing no expense, huh?” Sada muttered.

“Don’t be jealous, Sada,” Kawamura said, smiling.

Sada rolled her eyes, the two heading towards the locker rooms along with Koda and Otani.

Rin trailed behind with Haru, who was back to eyeing the pool.  “It went OK?”

“Hm?”  Haru glanced over.  “Oh.”  He lifted his wrist, the new black brace was significantly smaller.  His arm was taped underneath.  “I can use my hand again.”

“Yeah.”  Rin smiled, slinging his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  Every little bit of progress was a good thing.  He lowered his voice.  “I’m surprised you can stand this.”  He gestured towards the water.

Haru’s eyes flicked to him, simmering again.  He said nothing.

Rin’s breath trailed out over his teeth.

They went into the locker room and Rin withdrew his arm, turning for the showers.  “I’ll just be a minute.”

Haru caught his wrist.  “There’s a shower in our room.”

Rin’s heartrate quickened.  “Don’t we have a conference call…?”

Haru’s eyes were the shade of dark seawater, the look so sultry Rin forgot how breathing worked.  “In an hour, Rin.”

Rin grunted.  “Yeah, OK.  Let me…”  It was the fastest he ever put clothes _on_ , his fingers laced through Haru’s as they left the locker room. 

-x-

Their sponsor rep, Iwata, was manning the control console when they arrived on-time for their meeting.  Rin took the seat to Haru’s right in the small conference room, facing the screen.

“Ready?” Iwata asked.

“Ah.”  Haru nodded.

The screen lit and it was Director Kaya and their photographer, Haseda, standing beside a table in a conference room in Japan.  They were both in company apparel—the director wore a black polo shirt and Haseda was in an athletic top that was dark gray and steel blue.  Kaya’s strawberry-blond hair was caught into a sleek ponytail while Haseda’s hair was a mass of reddish-brown waves, kept out of her face with an athletic headband.  There was a laptop on the table.

“ _Hey guys_ ,” Director Kaya said, waving.

Rin and Haru dipped their heads.

“ _Sorry to hear about your wrist, Nanase-kun_ ,” she said.  “ _We’re relieved you got a good prognosis_.”

“ _How’s it feeling today?_ ”  Haseda asked.

“Better,” Haru said.  “It’s still swollen though.”

Haseda nodded.  “ _Give it a week_.”  She held up her left hand, flexing her middle, ring, and pinkie fingers.  “ _I sprained all three of these going for the wall in Sydney.  Fortunately, it was my last race, that Olympics_.”  She smiled, looking unconcerned.  “ _You’ll be fine_.”

Haru bowed his head again.  “Ah.”

“ _Anyways!_ ”  Director Kaya clapped her hands together.  “ _We wanted to share the proofs with you guys.  We had so many great shots.  It was really hard to choose.  But we narrowed it down to a few favorites…_ ”  She reached for the laptop.

“ _The underwater shots turned out really well_ ,” Haseda said. 

The screen changed to an image of sunlight streaming through the water, glossy tile, and radiant bubbles cascading off their bodies.  They were mid-turn, springing off the wall.  Haru, in the farther lane, was slightly ahead.  The gold on their suits popped in the sunlight.

Rin couldn’t help smiling.  _We look good in the water, Haru._   He glanced aside.

Haru’s eyes were wide as he studied the picture, quietly taking it in.

 _Is that your awestruck face?_   Amused, Rin reached under the table for Haru’s hand.

Haru looked over, his gaze softening with pleasure as he laced their fingers together.  He was happy.

Rin squeezed Haru’s hand, certain he was grinning like an idiot now.

“ _It’s really a toss-up between these two_ ,” Director Kaya said.

The picture changed.  It was still the pool, but the angle was slightly back and it was the moment they were both reaching for the wall, their whole bodies stretched and focused on the finish.  Just looking at the photo, Rin could feel an echo of that same energy and rush…

“ _You can see the suits better in this one_ ,” Haseda said.

“ _It’s true_ ,” Kaya said. 

Rin felt a pang, his face smoothing.  _I want to swim with you like that again._ He desperately wanted that.  Rin felt it through their clasped hands, the way Haru sobered, as if sharing the same yearning.

“ _Now, as for the second set of shots...  We got great footage in front of the backdrop, but we unanimously decided we wanted a live setting for this campaign and for print, in particular.  So we’ll be holding those in reserve.  But this one, hands down, was our favorite in the matching black-and-white suits_.”

Rin was suddenly looking at himself and Haru thigh-deep in the leisure pool, with the other Málaga pools in the background.  They were side-by-side, standing against the edge of the pool, and Haru was leaning against Rin.  Rin’s arm was draped casually across Haru’s shoulder while Haru’s arms were loosely folded.  It wasn’t a usual posture for Haru, but it looked natural in the photo.  Their goggles hung at their throats and they were both looking to the side as if someone had called their names, interrupting them mid-conversation.  It was relaxed, subtly intimate.  While the underwater photos held all the charge and excitement of their rivalry, this picture embodied Haru’s calm heart.  The swimsuits looked good too, clinging to their hips and continuing underwater, the veins of gold shimmering in the light.

Haru inhaled slowly; Rin glanced over. 

Haru met his gaze, smiling faintly.  His thumb ran across Rin’s beneath the table.

Rin’s heart warmed.  _I’m glad you like it too._

Over the phone, Director Kaya cleared her throat.  “ _We got in so much trouble for this next one, but_ —”

Haseda coughed.  “ _Worth it_.”

The image on the screen was sunset-red with fiery oranges and golds.  They were backlit by the dying sun, but there was enough light to set a glow off every toned plane of their bodies.  Rin’s mouth went dry at the fierce, irritated look Haru was giving the camera, as if the interruption were inexcusable.  The way Rin was looking at Haru, the way Haru’s hand was splayed across Rin’s waist, against his skin…they were _obviously_ in the middle of something.  How _dare_ the camera intrude. 

Rin sat back, breathless and stunned.  _I didn’t know we could look like that._   By the way Haru drew breath and gripped his hand, he was equally startled.  Rin caught his lower lip with his teeth.  It wasn’t a bad picture at all.  But it was pure sex and if not for their, er, extended shower a bit ago, his blood would be boiling.  He already felt the shot with his whole body.  Rin’s face heated.  _Um…do we want our parents and friends to see this?_  

Haru coughed lightly beside him.

“ _I’m still hoping I can convince Tsuchiya-san to let us use this shot_ ,” Director Kaya said.  “ _We’d sell a zillion swimsuits.  Not to mention posters and calendars…_ ”

_Oh God, you mean people would be hanging that on their wall?_

“… _Don’t get me wrong.  This one’s good, too_ —”

The screen brightened and it was a sunlit afternoon.  Rin and Haru were strolling on the edge of the surf in their board shorts and sunglasses.  Rin’s arm was around Haru’s shoulders and they were smiling with their eyes, their heads tilted towards each other in the midst of a private chat.

“ _It doesn’t have the…impact of the other one_ ,” Kaya said.

“ _The chemistry is more subtle here_ ,” Haseda said.  _“It’s there, just not in your face like the other photo.  Both are good.”_

“ _That said…  I know your privacy is one of Tsuchiya-san’s concerns.  If you prefer us not to publish the sunset shot, let us know.  We’re not going to print with anything until next week, so you can think about it._ ”

The screen changed back to the women in the Tokyo conference room.  Rin could breathe again.  Haru’s hand relaxed in his.

“ _In the meantime, we’ll be filling your inboxes with a bunch of candid shots.  For your personal use_ ,” Haseda said.

Director Kaya nodded.  “ _Though, we ask that you refrain from posting to social media until the campaign goes to print_.”

“Not a problem,” Rin said, finding his voice.

Haru made a quiet noise of agreement.

Kaya grinned.  “ _Great!  Also, Nanase-kun, I got a green light from Tsuchiya-san for your clean water project in Rio.  I need to arrange some things, and then we’ll talk in Brazil, OK?_ ”

Haru dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

“ _Do you guys have any questions?_ ”

Rin didn’t.  He glanced at Haru.

Haru shook his head.

“ _OK, then!  So we’ll see you in Rio.  Good luck in the meantime!_ ”

Haseda smiled.  “ _Take it easy._ ”

After a round of waving, the screen darkened.

“Thank you both,” Iwata said from the control console.

“Ah,” Haru said, getting up.

Rin followed suit.  “Thank you,” he said.

Out in the hallway, they looked at each other, still holding hands as they walked.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.  “It’s…a little weird, huh?”

Haru pursed his lips.  “I’m trying to imagine the look on my mom’s face if she saw that picture.”

Rin chuckled.  “Yeah, uh…  It’d cause a stir back home.  For sure.”

Haru’s gaze warmed.  “I don’t mind having it though.  For us.”

“Same.”  Rin smiled.  He pulled Haru closer, letting go of Haru’s hand to wrap his arm around Haru’s shoulders instead.

Haru smiled back with his eyes as they waited for the elevator.

-x-

After lunch and more icing Haru’s wrist, they napped in a blissful tangle, sharing the same pillow.  Rin’s alarm woke them prior to Haru’s next physical therapy session.

Rin was pulling on his gym clothes for dryland when his phone trilled.  He went to answer it; Haru was in the bathroom.

Rin stared at the _katakana_ characters on the screen for a beat before he accepted the Skype call.  “Sousuke…”

Rin’s best friend wore a soft, easy look.  “ _Hey, Rin_.”  Sousuke was in his apartment in Tokyo, leaning against the kitchen counter.

 _It’s the first time I’ve heard your voice in months._   It was his own fault for not calling.  Things had been busy…and awkward.  “It’s…pretty late at home.”

Sousuke ran a hand through his dark, perpetually-disheveled hair.  “ _I just got back from a study session.  It ran long.  …This an OK time or you gotta be somewhere?_ ”

Haru came out of the bathroom before Sousuke finished speaking.  He was dressed already in a clean Koutei T-shirt and navy-blue warmup pants.  His face was expressionless.  “I’m meeting Kasai-san,” he said, pocketing his phone and slipping into a pair of sandals.

Rin inhaled.  “I was going to—”

“I got it, Rin.  You have time before dryland.”  He turned for the door.

“— _Nanase_.” 

Haru paused.

“ _I’m sorry about what I said to you.  That one time_.”

Haru was silent for a beat.  “Ah.”

_What the fuck?_

“ _Take care of yourself_.”

“Thanks.”

Rin sucked air.  “ _Oi_ —”

Haru glanced back at him.  “Don’t throw anything, Rin.”  Then he left.

Rin exhaled hard.  “You’re gonna explain what that was about.”  He glared into the phone.

Sousuke’s expression was guarded, as if braced, but Rin knew from the look in his friend’s eyes that he was about to get the unfiltered truth.  “ _Back in March.  I told him the way he felt about you wasn’t important.  Not compared to your dream_.”

Rin went rigid with anger, gripping the phone.  “You fucking _asshole_.  What gives you the right to decide shit like that for me?”  He wanted to throttle the guy, barring that, hurling his phone into the window sounded good…only the calm look Haru had given him before leaving held him back.  To Haru, whatever happened didn’t matter.  Maybe because it was a long time ago or maybe he just wasn’t bothered by it.  _But_ I’m _bothered by it._ The thought of not having Haru in his life right now, not like this—  The ache was palpable and suffocating.  _Like I could’ve made it this far._   The mere idea of losing his _Someday_ dream with Haru was like ripping his heart from his chest—

Rin slowly got his breathing under control, pinning Sousuke with his gaze.  “It’s a good thing he didn’t listen to you.”

Sousuke didn’t shy away or fire back.  He took it all quietly, as if he knew he deserved it.

“Come on, say something, damnit.”

Sousuke exhaled.  “ _Yeah.  I see it now—in retrospect.  At the time, I was too jealous to admit it_.”  He never wavered from Rin’s gaze.  “ _I’m sorry, Rin.  I didn’t realize what he meant to your dream.  I thought you didn’t need anyone_.”

 _Fuck_.  Rin dropped down to sit on the edge of the bed.  “Now you get it?”

“ _Yeah_.”

Rin’s lungs emptied in a rush.  He raked a hand through his hair.  “Did you call just to tell me that?”

“ _No.  Your sister called me.  She’s worried about how hard you’re taking his injury_.”

 _What?_   “I didn’t…”  _I didn’t say anything about that on the phone yesterday._

Sousuke’s expression softened.  “ _She knows you better than you think, Rin.  So, I promised her_.”

Rin lowered his hand.  “I’m fine, Sousuke.  Haru’s the one injured, not me.”

Sousuke sighed.  “ _After we just got done talking about how important he is to you?  You’re carrying the blame.  That’s what she said_.”

“She told you how it happened?”

“ _Yeah_.”

Rin looked away.  “Then you get it.”  He pressed his lips.  “You’re gonna say he’ll be fine, just like everyone else?  I know that.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Sousuke shake his head.  “ _No.  I think this is about more than Nanase’s sprain, Rin_.”

Rin inhaled slowly, meeting Sousuke’s gaze.

“ _Sure, the timing couldn’t be much worse and maybe parts of Rio are on the line.  Is that what this is really about?_ ”

“What are you getting at?”

“ _I’m just saying…this isn’t the first time you’ve taken the blame for something that wasn’t your fault._ ”  Sousuke’s green eyes carried an exasperated fondness. _“Remember that time in elementary school, during soccer at recess when you kicked the ball and it hit me in the face?  You went overboard that time too.  All I got was a nosebleed_.”

“Sousuke…”

“ _Because you blame yourself for your dad giving up swimming, everything else you do wrong is a huge deal, isn’t it?_ ”

Rin went cold.  “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Sousuke drew a breath.  “ _Rin_ —”

“No.  You’re a fucking psychologist now?  You’re way off base.  This has nothing to do with that.”  Rin glared into the phone, his jaw tight.  “If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t be injured, Rio wouldn’t be a question, and relay practice in São Paulo wouldn’t be on the line either.  That’s the way it is.”  _This has nothing to do with my dad._

Sousuke was silent for a long moment…  “ _OK.  I’ll drop it_.”

Rin glanced away, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.  It helped him to cool off a little.

“ _Just_ …”  Sousuke’s voice was quiet.  “ _You’re not the only one with regrets.  You’re not the only one who fucked something up.  You need to get over it or you’ll never be able to move forward_.”

In an instant, Rin’s anger evaporated.  “Sousuke…”  His mind flew back to high school and all he could see was Sousuke’s shoulder, red and swollen—

Sousuke’s expression clouded.  “ _I should know, right?_ ”

 _Fuck_.  Rin rubbed his face.  “Sorry.  I didn’t mean to go off on you like that.”

Sousuke smiled faintly.  “ _No worries, Rin.  I get it_.”

Rin dropped his hand.  “Hey...  Kawamura said he had a partial tear to his, uh—”

“ _Supraspinatus tendon.  It’s one of the four that make up the rotator cuff.  A tear means the tendon is starting to pull away from the bone_.”

Rin pressed his lips.  “And yours is…”

Sousuke’s face smoothed.  “ _I have a full-thickness tear to my supraspinatus tendon and a partial tear to my infraspinatus._ ”  Sousuke angled his phone, touching the top and back of his shoulder, through his T-shirt sleeve.  “ _The ones here_.”

 _Oh God._   The warmth drained from Rin’s body as he remembered everything Doctor Hirano said about tears.  “But…it can be repaired.  Surgically.”

“ _Nothing’s a hundred percent, Rin_.”  Sousuke shifted the camera back. “ _It won’t be like before, but it’ll be better._ ”

Rin exhaled.  “When?”

“ _Early September_.”

An ache ran through his chest.  “That soon?”

Sousuke shook his head.  “ _I should’ve had it checked when I quit the Todai team.  It’s not going to be as easy, now.  I thought…if I stopped swimming, that would be enough.  Letting it rest, ice and all that.  But it was the wrong call_.”  He smiled ruefully.  “ _You and Nanase, you’re doing everything right, you know?_ ”

Rin’s eyes stung.  “Sousuke…”  _And I kept pushing you, telling you not to give up on swimming…_   He sniffed hard, pulling it together.  “Your birthday’s in September.”

Sousuke’s gaze softened.  “ _Yeah, I know.  But I need to get this done before classes start again_.”  He sighed gently.  “ _There was a time when I wanted to give up on everything.  I wasn’t in a good place, when you came back in April.  But my new dream is worth fighting for, so it’s time to get moving_.”  Sousuke’s eyes warmed.  “ _You too, Rin.  Don’t stay haunted by things you can’t change_.”

Rin’s breath came out in a puff.  “Yeah.”  He knew Sousuke was right.  “Thanks.”

Sousuke smiled.

A reminder popped up on Rin’s phone.

“ _Gotta go?_ ”

Rin nodded.  “Dryland.”

“ _Yippee_ ,” Sousuke said.

“Tell me about it.” 

“ _It’s good talking to you, Rin_.”

Rin smiled at his best friend.  “Yeah.  Likewise.”

-x-

Leg curls gave Rin time to think, lying on the bench on his stomach as he silently counted out the reps.  _I spent so many years focused on my future dream, ignoring all the other stuff I’ve been carrying around._ It wasn’t like one evening crying in Haru’s embrace and sharing memories was enough to get over his dad’s death.  If it were, he wouldn’t be avoiding the emails from his mom…and he would’ve found a way to ask the question by now.

 _I guess it’s not so easy_.  Believing he could forgive himself for Haru’s injury was one thing, but actually living it, walking it, doing it…  He was impatient to _arrive_ already, but it wasn’t going to happen like that, just like he couldn’t _will_ Haru’s ligament to heal faster.

Hard work wasn’t something he shied away from—how else were dreams achieved?  But disciplining his body and mind was a world away from trying to control his _heart_.  He was starting to understand it…that wholeness inside wasn’t something he could plan out and accomplish on his terms.

“Alright, that’s time,” Coach Maekawa said. 

Rin straightened his legs, sliding off the bench and grabbing a towel as he stood up. 

“Eight laps on the track.”  Maekawa’s hair was pulled back into a ponytail; she wore her team warmup pants and a dark gray T-shirt.

Otani made a whimpering sound as she dabbed sweat from her brow near the free weights.  Her gym clothes were white with slashes of teal and gray.

Coach Maekawa perched a hand on her hip, arching a brow.  “Not enough, Otani-san?”

Otani’s eyes widened and she waved vigorously.  “No, eight laps sounds great, Maekawa-sensei!”

Sada chuckled, settling a towel around her neck.  She wore a black tank top and leggings with red stripes down each leg.

Rin restored the weight bench and gathered his stuff.  He took a long swig from his water bottle as he followed his teammates downstairs and outside.

For a moment, he squinted in the bright sunlight.  There were a few puffy clouds not far overhead; the breeze was mild.

“Rin!”

Rin’s heart leapt, his gaze snapping to the direction of Haru’s voice.  Haru was just coming into the turn near the building, jogging towards him in a lilac and white running shirt and black shorts. 

Rin dumped his towel and water bottle onto the closest bench and ran out into the sunlight—

They met in lane four, Rin carefully throwing his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  It didn’t matter that they were both sweaty from their workouts. 

Haru wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist, slightly winded from his run.  The brace on Haru’s wrist was scratchy through Rin’s thin gym shirt.

“Hey,” Rin said.  It was lame, but it was the only word he could think of. 

Haru’s eyes warmed with pleasure and amusement.  “Hey.”  The breeze sifted damp strands of hair across Haru’s brow.  “You’re not embarrassed, Rin?”

Rin’s face heated.  “Well, don’t expect me to kiss you unless you do something really amazing.”  Worrying about what anyone else thought of them was a stupid waste of time and energy.  Rin wasn’t sure when he’d changed his mind—maybe in Barcelona—but these casual intimacies with Haru were too important to give up just because they weren’t alone.

Haru smiled and tightened his arms.  “You didn’t break anything, right?”

Rin scowled.  “No, but I’m pissed he said that to you.”  _Really pissed, actually._

Haru shrugged.  “He can say what he wants.  It didn’t bother me, Rin.”

“ _Oi_ —”

“I get that he wanted to protect you.  But you’re free to decide.  That’s the part I didn’t like.”

“ _Tch_.  No one gets to decide things about our future except us.”  Rin drew Haru closer.  “Why didn’t you tell me?  I should’ve kicked his ass for this before I left Tokyo.”

“Like I’d get between you and your best friend, Rin,” Haru said.

“Haru…”   _How can you be so forgiving?_   Wouldn’t that backfire, one day?  But maybe it was worth the risk.  _You don’t hold grudges, you don’t hate people, you don’t spend energy wanting or needing revenge…_   Rin sighed.  “What am I going to do with you?”

Haru’s eyes were full of affection.  “It’s better?”

All things considered…  “Yeah,” Rin said.  He smiled.

For a moment, they held each other’s gazes—

A shrill whistle came from the edge of the track.  “Matsuoka!  Nanase!  The track is for _running._ Two extra laps.”

They groaned in unison, breaking apart.

As they started their run, Rin glanced aside—

Haru was looking at him askance, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Rin couldn’t help grinning, his heart full of warmth and gratitude.  Every little bit of normalcy helped.

* * *

Friday, July 15th, 2016

* * *

“Haru, can you just pick one already?”  Rin chewed his lower lip, trying to keep his wits about him while Haru took his damn time selecting a swimsuit.

“It’s not an easy choice, Rin,” Haru said.  His blue square legs and his board shorts from Málaga were laid out on the edge of the bed.

Rin grunted, leaning on the wall next to the bathroom door.  “Yeah, I get it.  But if you’re gonna take an hour, _can you at least put some clothes on?_ ”

Haru glanced over, gloriously nude with accessories—one wrist brace and one leather bracelet.  His blue eyes glittered.  “You don’t like the view, Rin?”

 _You know I do, you ass._   Straightening from the wall, Rin tightened the cord tie on his square legs.  He grabbed his warmup pants and T-shirt from atop his suitcase.  After dressing, Rin hugged his lover from behind, kissing the nape of Haru’s neck.  “Just don’t do this to me in Brazil.  We’ll run out of cold water.”

Haru hummed with amusement.

“I can help you with those if you want,” Rin said, pointing to the square legs.  He had a feeling grip strength was the only reason Haru was hesitating.  Their square legs weren’t as bad as their jammers and leg skins, but still took effort to get in and out of.

“Nn.”  Haru picked up the board shorts.  “I’ll do these.  Since I’m not getting in, anyways.”

“OK.”  Rin let go so Haru could pull on the suit, which had a lace-up closure.  He dropped down to sit on the edge of the bed, eyeing the brace as Haru dressed. 

Haru managed well enough, though at one point he winced faintly and shook out his wrist.

Rin pressed his lips.  “How is it today?”

Haru shrugged.  “Still hurts.”  He turned away, slipping on a blue and white Team Japan T-shirt.

Rin drew a slow, deep breath.  _Twenty-one days to go._   Everyone seemed to think that was plenty of time, save the doctors who wouldn’t speak in absolute terms…but Otani was right.  _What about our relays?_   They were headed to São Paulo a week from today, with training to start shortly thereafter.

“Rin?”

“Hm?”  He looked up, meeting the sober look on Haru’s face.

Haru returned to the bed, climbing on top to sit across Rin’s thighs.  Rin stopped breathing as he found himself falling, his back hitting the blankets, Haru above him.

But judging by the way Haru’s expression clouded… _this isn’t about sex or swimming…_

Haru’s fingers rested on Rin’s shoulders.  “After we get back, I’m gonna call Nagisa and Rei.  Since they don’t know yet.”

The air escaped Rin’s lungs in a heavy sigh.  “Ah.”  The guilt was still there, like a brick in his stomach.  He could forget about it sometimes, especially when things seemed normal between them, but never for long.

Haru brushed hair from his face with warm fingertips.  “I asked your sister to set it up.  She’ll be there, helping to explain.  Makoto, too.”

Rin didn’t have to try hard to imagine it.  Nagisa would cry.  Rei too, probably. 

Haru’s eyes softened with compassion.  “You don’t have to be there, Rin.  If you don’t want to.”

“I’ll be there.”  _Like I’m running from this.  I know you’re not upset with me, but they should be.  I took you away from them and then this—_

The sudden press of lips against his brought his thoughts to an abrupt end.  _Not fair, Haru.  I was…_   But Haru didn’t let up; instead, he deepened the kiss with a soft sweep of tongue while burying his hand in Rin’s hair.

Rin’s mind blanked; he was wholly consumed by Haru’s gentle, yet demanding kiss.  His hands curled against the covers, his defenses overwhelmed one-by-one until his body melted in surrender and a quiet hum reverberated in his throat.

It was _then_ that Haru drew back and Rin—breathless, his cheeks burning—could only muster the mildest glare. 

“What…are you doing?” Rin asked between breaths.

“Stopping you from thinking like that,” Haru said.

Rin snorted.  “Like you’re psychic now.”

“It’s obvious from your face, Rin.  Even if you’re not saying it out loud.”  Haru pressed his lips—his moist, pliant lips that Rin couldn’t help looking at.  “You were blaming yourself again.”

Rin exhaled.  “Haru, I—”

His words were muffled by another kiss, sweet with depth and just as distracting.

 _Ah, hell._   Rin drew his arms around his lover, kissing Haru back.  _I give up._

Haru broke the kiss, a satisfied, sassy look in his eyes. 

“This is gonna be the new thing, huh?” Rin asked.

Haru nodded.

“Jerk,” Rin muttered, lacing the word with affection as he pulled Haru close, inviting another kiss.

Haru smiled and claimed Rin’s lips again.

-x-

Rin wasn’t watching the door, but he still noticed when Haru entered the pool area—the water _felt_ different, somehow—smoother, lighter, and _he_ felt more buoyant and free.  Their eyes locked during a thirty-second rest, Rin clinging to the start hold on the block of lane five while Haru sat down on the edge of the pool and dipped his feet in. 

Haru had an eager, boyish look on his face—even with just his calves and feet dangling in the water.  Rin couldn’t help grinning, his eyes starting to sting.  Haru had seemed like his normal self since Tuesday, but this was the first time since the injury that he’d seen Haru look _this_ happy.

Haru had the brace off and an ice pack wrapped around a fresh tape job on his wrist.  They held each other’s gaze, warmly, until Maekawa cleared her throat pointedly from behind the blocks.

“Thirty _seconds_ , Matsuoka.”

Rin grunted, ducking underwater and pushing off…

Kasai joined them at some point during the latter half of practice.  She worked with Kawamura for a bit on his shoulder, prior to Maekawa directing all of them to cool down.

As the pool started to empty at the end of practice, Kasai joined Haru at the side of the pool.  Rin was hanging out with his arms draped over the lane line.

“It’s OK if you want to swim a little bit, Nanase-kun,” she said.  “Just don’t do anything that hurts and _most of all_ don’t try to put any weight on it getting out of the pool.  You’ll need to use the ladder.”

Haru’s eyes went wide, his face upturned towards her.  “It’s really OK?”

“Sure!”  She smiled brightly.  “I wouldn’t recommend doing laps, per se, but just being in the water won’t hurt your wrist.”

 _Haru._   Rin’s eyes started to burn.

Their gazes met, Haru’s blue eyes shining as he set his ice pack aside and held out his right hand.

Rin slipped underwater, swimming through lane six.  _I’m pretty sure you don’t need any help getting into the water, dummy._   He surfaced next to the side of the pool, taking Haru’s hand and gently pulling him in.

There was a small splash…and Haru’s arms curled around him, squeezing him in a brief hug.  Then Haru submerged, swimming in lazy spirals beneath the lines with his hands at his sides.  It was beautiful, Haru’s movements so graceful and free.  Rin clung to the line on lane six, fighting real tears with a hot lump in his throat.

“Matsuoka-kun?” Kasai asked.

Rin sniffed hard, twisting to look up at her.  “Hai?”

Kasai smiled at him.  “Can you come with Nanase-kun this afternoon?  I’ll teach you how to do the tape.  I think he’d like it better if you did it for him, rather than me.”

Rin dipped his head.  “Hai.”

“Great!  I’ll see you this afternoon then!”  She straightened, glancing at Haru who had yet to surface.  “As long as he takes it easy, he’ll be fine.  That means no racing, OK?”  Kasai looked back at him.  “Because I’ve heard about how the two of you like to warm up and that wouldn’t really be a good thing right now.”

Rin nodded.  “Hai.”

She smiled and headed off; Rin could hear her chatting with Coach Maekawa.  Meanwhile, Haru was floating on his back in the middle of lane six, looking blissful.

Rin stayed where he was.  Just existing in the pool with Haru was everything he wanted in the world…even the forthcoming conversation with their friends back home couldn’t interrupt how good and right this felt.

He stopped looking at the clock, losing track of time as he watched Haru enjoy the water. 

At length, Haru rolled over and slipped underwater.  He swam the twenty-five meters back to the start blocks lazily, kicking and not using his arms, and only coming up for air at Rin’s side.

Haru’s eyes were sparkling, the droplets clinging to his skin and hair shimmering in a ray of sunlight from the windows…and Rin couldn’t help it.  The tears spilled despite his efforts to fight them, sliding in warm trails down his cheeks.

Haru smiled, his gaze overflowing with love as he circled Rin’s waist with his arms.

Rin trembled, curling his arm around Haru’s shoulders and burying his face in Haru’s hair.  Chlorinated water on Haru’s skin was the best thing ever—as if it were meant to be.  Rin hugged the one he loved and cried shamelessly.  Nothing else mattered—it all paled to Haru getting a piece of his dream back.

When the tears finally subsided, Rin lifted his head.  Haru brushed droplets and wet hair from Rin’s face…  Rin wasn’t sure who crossed the distance first, but their lips were suddenly flush, meeting in brief, chaste kisses—

“Nanase.  Matsuoka.”

They broke apart, meeting Coach Maekawa’s stern look and Rin’s face was on _fire._

She perched a hand on her hip.  “The track is for running and the pool is for…?”  Maekawa lifted a brow.

“The pool is for dreams,” Haru said.

Maekawa covered her face with one hand.

Rin pressed his lips, trying not to laugh.  _Haru, that has to be the cheesiest shit you’ve ever said._

Their coach cleared her throat roughly.  “Out of the water, boys.  And I never get phone calls about what you were doing in the pool.  Unless it’s about being awesome at swimming.”  She pointed at the window to the control room, where the cameras were manned.  “We’re clear on that, right?”

“Hai,” they said in unison.

Maekawa sighed and walked off.

Rin swam to the side first, using the ladder to climb out.  He turned, reaching for Haru’s right hand.

Haru grasped Rin’s hand, letting himself be pulled from the pool.  His left hand followed the ladder’s railing without putting any weight on it.

They were the last two members of Team Japan in the pool area.  Coach Maekawa and Kasai left through the double doors that led out into the corridor.

Haru didn’t let go of his hand.  “Rin?”

“Hm?”  Rin laced their fingers together, gently tugging Haru over to where he’d stashed his towel and other things.

“You don’t need to set alarms tonight.”

Rin’s fingers grazed the towel without picking it up.  He straightened, facing Haru.

Haru’s eyes were warm but firm.  “Kasai-san says I only have to ice when I need to.  Not every four hours anymore.”

Rin inhaled slowly.  “But if it still helps…”

Haru shook his head, water droplets cascading gently from his wet hair.  “You need sleep, Rin.”

When their gazes met, the concern in blue eyes was obvious.  Rin fell quiet.  _I didn’t mean to worry you.  Not when you should be concentrating all your energy on getting better._

Haru’s fingers tightened on his.  “I need you to trust me on this.  I promise I’ll ask you for help when I need it.”

Rin knew Haru didn’t say those words lightly, but it was still hard to let go.  Icing Haru’s wrist was something he could _do_ in a situation that made him feel helpless.  The missing sleep part, though…if he were honest with himself, it was penance.  Now Haru was taking that away.  It was…uncomfortable, going back to being helpless and losing one more opportunity to blame himself.  Soon, he wouldn’t have any of those things left—

But the distress in Haru’s gaze cut through his thoughts and Rin felt like an idiot.  _This is about you—about your recovery.  Not my shit._   He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.  “OK,” Rin said, squeezing Haru’s hand.  Setting Haru at ease was far more important than continuing to punish himself.

Haru’s face brightened with relief and affection…and Rin felt it in his heart, the way those cords of self-loathing weakened and fell…  _I don’t know how it works…but your love makes me think I can love myself_.  Coexisting with his failures didn’t seem so unbearable when Haru was with him.

Rin felt lighter as he picked up his gear, even smiling as they headed back to the locker room.  After a quick rinse-off in the communal shower area, Rin loaned his towel to Haru and left a trail of drips and wet footsteps to the last row of lockers. 

Haru came up behind him.  “Rin?”

“Hm?”  Rin half-turned, just catching a glimpse of the mischief in Haru’s eyes—

Then the towel was draped over his head, shadowing their faces, and Haru was kissing him.  Haru’s damp fingers tangled into Rin’s hair; the tape on Haru’s wrist was scratchy against Rin’s cheek.

 _Haru, this is the same way I—_   Rin’s eyes went wide and he wasn’t breathing, his heart aflutter in his chest.  Suddenly, he was eleven years old again, in the locker room of Iwatobi Swim Club, after an early morning practice and a storm the night before… 

Haru’s words in Barcelona came back to him.  _We first kissed—when we were kids—in the locker room.  You think that’s not romantic?  For us._

Moisture welled up in Rin’s eyes and he let his eyelids fall.  He turned fully, wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders as he returned the kiss.  Because Haru was right.  _Our love came from swim tournaments, practices, relays, locker rooms, and victories…and from storms, losses, failure, rivalry, and injury._ For the first time, he realized he couldn’t wish away the bad, not without unraveling the whole.  The ups and downs of their journey brought them here.  _Would I be the same person if I hadn’t gone through those things?  Would you?  Would we love each other the way we do?_

Rin freed one hand, laying his palm gently against Haru’s taped wrist.  _Even this, which isn’t over yet, is a part of us, too._   There would be more things like this in their future—wonders and setbacks, joys and sorrows.  To want _everything_ meant accepting and facing the unknown together, for the sake of their love.

The words that caught in his mind were in English, from a wedding he’d attended with Russell and Lori in Australia; words to match gold rings he’d once imagined on their hands.  _For better or for worse, in health or in illness, in wealth or in want, I vow…_

A hot lump formed in Rin’s throat, his eyes searing as he pulled back, needing to breathe—

 _Someday..._   Rin curled his fingers carefully through Haru’s, mindful not to put pressure on Haru’s wrist.  _I want to marry you like that._ His vision blurred with tears.  _I want the world to know what we already know—that we’re in this forever, no matter what._

In the shadow of the towel, Haru searched his face for a moment…and smiled, hugging him tightly.

-x-

The redness around Rin's nose and eyes wasn’t fading, damnit.  _Where's that makeup guy when I need him?_   With a sigh, he left the bathroom, fanning his face in vain.  Haru was on the sofa with his laptop.  An ice pack was wrapped around his taped wrist, while the brace was on the table.  They were dressed in their warmup pants and T-shirts, their hair still damp from the locker room.

Haru had changed the wallpaper on his computer.  The photo was one of the candid shots Director Kaya sent—of them in the pool, hugging each other and out of breath after their accidental race.  Rin’s eyes were closed in the picture and it was obvious that his world—in that moment—consisted of _Haru_ and nothing and no one else.  Just seeing it made Rin’s cheeks warm.

Rin had chosen a different picture for his tablet wallpaper, from their medley cycles.  His arms were at full extension, his fingers splayed against the wall, and Haru was diving above him.  Haseda caught them with their gazes locked…  Those were only two out of a dozen photos that spanned a spectrum of tender to electric.  Like Haru said, it was kind of ridiculous _they_ were receiving the thanks for Málaga.  That single twenty-four hour period was packed with so many precious memories.  Rin poured cold tap water for both of them, carrying the glasses to the table and sitting beside Haru on the sofa. 

Thoughts of Málaga didn’t prevent Rin from holding his breath as Haru brought up the Skype window.

Haru’s mouse cursor hovered over the green call icon next to Makoto’s name, but he didn’t click yet, glancing aside.  “Ready?”

Rin exhaled.  “I guess.”

Haru’s gaze softened.  He grasped Rin’s arm and tugged—

Their lips met gently.

When the kiss was over, Rin snorted.  “Haru, you can’t fix everything by—”

“I love you, Rin.”

Rin’s breath caught, meeting blue eyes filled with the same _depth_ of emotion, nothing held back.  His nerves evaporated like a coil of smoke.  “Damnit.”  Rin smiled, lacing their fingers together and lifting Haru’s hand.  He kissed Haru’s knuckles and the bracelet on his wrist. 

Haru smiled with his eyes and leaned back against the cushions, as if they had all the time in the world—

A melody from the laptop interrupted and Rin let go so Haru could answer the call.

The screen lit with a familiar face and Rin’s smile faded.  Seeing Makoto’s sandy hair, kind eyes, and warm expression brought the guilt rushing back like a gut punch.  Rin picked up his water glass and sipped.

“ _Haru!_ ”  Makoto’s voice was as cheery as usual.

“Makoto.”

“ _Rin, it’s been a while_ ,” Makoto said in the same friendly tones.  He was someone Rin couldn’t read at all, but it was still impossible to imagine that Makoto’s warmth was any kind of façade, or that any malice dwelt underneath.

“Hey,” Rin said.  _You could be at least a little mad at me._

“ _It doesn’t look like Gou and the others are online yet_.”

“She set the time,” Haru said.

Makoto nodded.  He was wearing a red plaid shirt and there was a faint line from his glasses across the bridge of his nose.  The background was the sitting area in his apartment.  It was a lot cleaner than Rin last saw it, when Gou, Rei, and Nagisa were all staying over.

“ _Gou was heading over to their place.  She said their swim practice ended at 4:30, I think, so they should be back by now.  I hope she isn’t having any trouble_.”  Makoto’s face sobered.  “ _How’s your wrist today, Haru?_ ”

“It’s good,” Haru said, lifting his taped arm and bending his wrist gingerly, with far less than his usual range of motion.  “I got in the pool today.”

Makoto inhaled.  “ _Is that really OK?  So soon_.”

“Not for training,” Haru said.

“ _Oh_.”  Makoto smiled.  “ _That’s great!  I’m sure missing your pool time hasn’t been easy_.”

“No, but it’s OK.”  Haru’s gaze flicked to the side, to Rin.

Rin’s cheeks heated with shame.  _Haru…_

There was a slight pause.  Then Makoto looked over, drawing a breath.  “ _Rin_ —”

Another melody played, cutting off whatever Makoto was going to say.

“ _Oh, there’s Gou now_ …”  Makoto’s eyes fell to the bottom of his screen.  “ _I’ll just_ —”

The screen on Haru’s laptop split into two—

The sound of sobs and wailing hit Rin’s ears before the video ever started.  He tensed, bracing as the right side of the screen lit.

Gou had a pained look on her face as she adjusted the camera and then sat back, wearing an OUHS college sweatshirt with her hair pulled up into her usual ponytail.  Next to her, Nagisa was crying with his face buried in Rei’s navy-blue polo shirt.  Rei was sniffling, his arms wrapped around Nagisa’s faded athletic jacket, like he was trying not to cry, but the tears were running in clear trails down his cheeks, beneath the rims of his glasses.  They were sitting at a table on the floor, with bunkbeds in the background.

Rin held his breath, not shying away from their reaction.  _I’m sorry, guys._

“You told them already?” Haru asked.

Gou huffed.  “ _Of course I told them already_.”  She frowned.  “ _How would you like it if all your friends were going to get together to tell you bad news and you were the last one to know?_ ” 

“Mn…”  Haru’s expression turned sheepish.

Gou shook her head, her ponytail swishing behind her.  “ _Your bedside manner needs serious work, Haruka-nii-san_.”

An abrupt silence followed…

Rin pressed his lips, his face warming.  _You called him that in front of everyone…_

Makoto’s eyes widened momentarily, a faint blush in his cheeks.

Nagisa’s sobs quieted to hitched breaths and hiccups.  He lifted his head from Rei’s chest, looking back over his shoulder. 

Rei adjusted his glasses and peered at Gou, as if that would help him hear better.  “ _Gou-san, begging your pardon, but did you just_ —”

“ _Haru-nii-chan?_ ” Nagisa asked between sniffles.

Gou clapped a hand over her mouth, her face reddening.  She laughed uneasily.  “ _Oh, I guess I wasn’t supposed to_ —”

Nagisa’s face crumpled with abject sorrow.  He leaned towards whatever device they were Skyping on, fresh tears dripping off his chin.  “ _Haru-chan.  Rin-chan.  Did you get married in Spain without us?_ ”  He wailed even harder than before.

Haru inhaled.  “ _Oi_ —”

Makoto winced.  “ _Nagisa_ …”

 _Tch._   Rin rolled his eyes.  “Of course we didn’t, dummy!  Like we’d do something that important without all of our friends with us.”

Five pairs of eyes turned in Rin’s direction.  His face burned.

Nagisa wiped his tears on his sleeve and sat back.  For a moment, his head was tilted thoughtfully to one side…then his gaze went sly.  “ _But you did think about it_ —”

 _Gah_.  Rin facepalmed.  “Nagisa—”

“ _Gou-chan, you didn’t say this was an engagement phone call_.”

“ _Because it’s not.  Argh!_ ”  She covered her face with both hands.  “ _I already told you_ —”

Off screen, there was a beeping sound. 

“ _Oh!_ ”  Gou popped up from the floor, heading out of view.

Rei dabbed at his face with a handkerchief.  “ _Gou-san is making us hot chocolate_.”

“ _As a constellation_ ,” Nagisa said.

“ _Consolation_ ,” Rei said.

“ _That’s what I said_.”

Rei sighed.

Nagisa faced the screen with a brave expression.  “ _Is it bad, Haru-chan?_ ”

Haru shook his head.  “It could’ve been a lot worse.  It should heal before Rio.”

“ _Then, you’ll still be able to participate in all of your events, Haruka-senpai?_ ” Rei asked.

“I hope to.”

Gou came back, setting a pair of mugs on the table.  “ _Here we are_.”  She opened a metallic package, measuring out heaping spoonfuls of chocolate-colored powder into each mug.

Haru and Makoto turned green.

Rin peered at the package.  “Gou…are you using protein powder?”

“ _Of course!_ ”  His sister held up the plastic package.  “ _This is the best kind!_ ”

“ _Ooooh, can I have strawberry, too?_ ” Nagisa asked.

“ _Sure!_ ”

Haru grimaced and reached for his water glass.

Rin exhaled.  “Gou, that’s not normal.”

Gou glared at him through the screen.  “ _Onii-chan, everyone—including you—knows that protein is vital for forming and maintaining healthy muscles.  Seijuurou says that this is the brand he uses, so you know it’s good stuff._ ”

Rin cocked a brow.  “Since when are you on a first name basis with Mikoshiba?”

Gou went bright pink, vigorously stirring the first of the two mugs with her spoon.  “ _Since, I don’t know.  It’s his name._ ”

“ _Oh, Rin-chan doesn’t know about the pict—mprh_.”  The rest of Nagisa’s sentence was muffled behind the hand Rei clapped over his mouth.

Rin inhaled.  “What don’t I know about?”

“ _Nothing!_ ” Gou said, her face as red as her hair.  The speed of her stirring only increased.

Makoto cleared his throat.  “ _We’re kind of getting off the subject_ …”

Rin’s brow twitched but he settled back against the cushions, letting it slide.  Beside him, Haru was being awfully quiet… 

Haru set his half-full glass down on the table, his unreadable poker face only arousing Rin’s suspicions.

 _I’ll find out what you know later._ Rin eyed his lover askance.

Haru’s expression warmed with feigned innocence.  He grasped Rin’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

Rin’s insides melted in an instant, his breath coming out in a puff.  _Damnit.  I’m such a sucker for you._

There was a hint of mischief in Haru’s eyes as he faced the screen again.

It was only then that Rin registered the lull in the conversation…

Gou’s eyes were sparkling as she pulled out a metallic pink package and opened it, adding spoonfuls of strawberry protein powder to one of the mugs.  Nagisa was glued to the screen beside her, sly-faced, while Rei was blushing and adjusting his glasses.  Makoto was smiling in that sweet way of his, but there was something guarded in his eyes.

Haru was unfazed.  “Gou, if you told them already then I don’t have anything else to talk about.”

Rin sighed inwardly.  _Haru, you’re a scintillating conversationalist as always._

Makoto winced.  “ _Haru…_ ”

“ _Aww, Haru-chan_ ,” Nagisa said, chuckling.  He pressed towards the screen.  “ _Ne, did you really travel all night to get to Spain?  Just to see Rin-chan?_ ”

Rin’s face heated.

“Ah,” Haru said.

“ _You really flew all by yourself?_ ”

Haru shrugged.  “Yeah.  It was only about two hours.”

“ _Haru-chan’s so romantic!_ ”  Nagisa sat back as Gou handed him a mug.  He sipped, his face lighting with pleasure.  “ _Gou-chan, it’s delicious!  It’s like Iwatobi cream-pan in a cup!_ ”

Gou smiled.  “ _Thank you!_ ”

“ _Rin-senpai_.”  Rei had both hands wrapped around his steaming mug.  “ _From what I’ve read, experts find it difficult to come to consensus on the benefits of high altitude training, as well as whether athletes should reside at altitude or merely transit to altitude for short training periods.  How do you weigh the physiological benefits versus drawbacks of the practice?_ ”

Rin sat back, drawing a thoughtful breath as he ran his free hand through his hair.  “Well, once you get past the headaches…”

Eventually Gou had to run for the train and the Osaka group logged off, but not before Rin and Haru answered a barrage of questions about their competitions, training facilities, the food, and non-Japanese toilets.  Rin felt like he’d talked more in a half-hour than in the whole last month.  Nagisa’s boundless energy made Rin miss Momo, though the fiery-haired kid had even more of a non-stop mouth.

The conversation calmed abruptly when it was just Makoto on the screen.  The reprieve faded, self-consciousness and guilt flooding back in as Makoto smiled at them from Haru’s laptop screen.  It was like a hollow ache in Rin’s chest.

“ _Well, I should let you guys go.  I’m sure you have a busy day ahead of you_.”

“Makoto, thanks for helping with this,” Haru said.

“ _Of course_.”  Then Makoto paused, his eyes softening with compassion as his gaze shifted.  “ _Rin_ —”

Rin inhaled, bracing.

“ _Haru told me how it happened_ —”

“Makoto.”  Haru frowned.

Makoto exhaled.  “ _OK.  He didn’t tell me.  But it wasn’t hard to guess_.”  His expression was empathetic, his smile faint.  “ _Anyone of us could be in your position and we’d feel awful, too.  You’re not the only one who cares about Haru_.”

Rin didn’t answer. 

“ _But I know—because he did tell me this part—that you’re taking really good care of him.  That’s something I don’t think the rest of us could do—at least, not the way you can_.”

 _You said that?_   Rin glanced aside at Haru.

Haru kept quiet, but a slight blush came into his cheeks.

Rin exhaled.  “You didn’t tell him I almost fainted at the hospital.”

“Makoto doesn’t like shots either,” Haru said.  “He turned green when I described the arthrography.”

Makoto winced.  “ _Haru-chan_.”

Haru squeezed Rin’s hand, meeting his gaze and lowering his voice.  “You were there when I needed you.”

Rin’s breath caught—hot and thick—in his throat.  _Haru…_   He couldn’t forget the way Haru clung to him in the hospital hallway.  At the same time, _if you hadn’t been hurt in the first place_ …  The emotions warred within him.

“ _Rin_ ,” Makoto said, his voice warm.  “ _Injuries don’t heal overnight.  Regrets don’t either.  It’s OK to take things one day at a time_.”  Makoto smiled and there was nothing held in reserve—no blame, no anger, no concern.  “ _Go easy on yourself, too_.”

Rin’s eyes stung with tears.  Gripping Haru’s hand, he managed a nod.  “…Ah.”

“Makoto’s taking a ‘Psychology for Coaching’ class,” Haru said.

Makoto sighed.  “ _Haru_ …”

“What?  You said you liked it.”

“ _That’s not the point_.”

Rin wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, smiling despite himself.  “Makoto, thanks.”  He met Makoto’s gaze via the screen, accepting—for the first time—the forgiveness he saw there.

Makoto smiled.  “ _Yeah_.”

After some waving and well-wishes, the screen darkened.  Haru used the touchpad left-handed, logging off Skype and closing the window to the background picture of their embrace in the Málaga pool. 

Rin waited until Haru shutdown the laptop and set it aside…  Then he wrapped his arms around his lover, nearly in Haru’s lap as he pressed his face into the glossy strands of Haru’s hair.  A couple tiny tears slipped free.

Haru’s right arm circled his waist and Haru’s left hand slid into his hair.  Rin could feel the tape on Haru’s wrist as it brushed against his ear.

There was no one left to be mad at him, except for himself.  Not his coaches, his family, his closest friends…or Haru, either.  _They can’t all be wrong._   Rin sighed, feeling something shift inside him, like a gentle leaning in.  Peace trickled in, pooling in the place where the self-loathing had been.

When Haru’s lips brushed his ear, his cheek, his jaw…Rin drew back, meeting the love in Haru’s eyes and the kiss Haru was coaxing him to.  It was sweet and languid, and his tears dried.  After, Rin rested his forehead against Haru’s shoulder while Haru’s hands ran slow caresses down his back, through his T-shirt.

“Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

Rin slipped both hands into Haru’s hair, eliciting a soft sound from his lover’s throat.  He kissed the juncture of Haru’s neck and shoulder.  “What do you know about my sister and Mikoshiba?”

Haru’s hands paused against Rin’s back.  He resumed his ministrations and took too long to respond.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 _Of course you don’t._   Rin’s eyes narrowed slyly as he nipped at Haru’s skin instead, his efforts yielding a quiet gasp from his lover.  “Pretty sure I can make you talk, Haru.” 

“Nn.”  Haru’s fingers curled into his T-shirt.  “It’s none of our business, Rin.”

“Like hell it isn’t,” Rin murmured against Haru’s neck.  “She’s my sister.”

“So?  That gives you the right to police who she pursues a relationship with?  Isn’t she free to choose?”

 _I’m just trying to protect her…from a nice guy who’s in love with her.  Damnit._ Rin lifted his head, snorting as he met Haru’s calm blue eyes.  “I hate it when you do that,” he said, touching their noses together.

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “Love you, Rin.”  He leaned in, capturing Rin’s lips briefly.  “Can we eat lunch now?”

Scowling, Rin climbed off his lover’s lap.  “Yeah.”

Haru pulled his brace back on, securing the straps.  “Someday,” he murmured as he got up.

“Hm?”

Haru stepped into his sandals, pocketing his phone and room key.  There was a mischievous glint in his eyes.  “If we have a daughter, Rin, you’re toast.”

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin’s face burned.  He lunged, but Haru slipped through his grasp, tossing him a smile before heading out the door.

Rin jammed things into his pockets and shoved his feet into his sandals, jogging to catch up.

Haru was waiting at the elevator with a handful of others, his right hand tucked nonchalantly into the pocket of his warmup pants.  His eyes glimmered; he knew Rin wouldn’t try anything out here, when they weren’t alone.

Rin slowed to a walk, coming up beside his lover and draping his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  He cleared his throat and lowered his voice.  “Let’s give it a shot, Haru.  Someday.”

Haru’s gaze lit with pleasure, pink dusting his cheekbones.  “Yeah,” he whispered, freeing his hand from his pocket to hold the hem of Rin’s T-shirt instead. 

* * *

Monday, July 18th, 2016

* * *

“Rin, wake up.”

Rin grunted, his eyes gritty as he pressed his face into the pillow and tried to ignore Haru’s hand on his shoulder.  Haru was obviously up and out of bed, so he wasn’t needing help with ice or anything like that.

“It’s past sunrise.  Why aren’t you up?”  The mattress dipped beside him as Haru sat down on the edge.

Rin rolled onto his back and snorted.  “Why aren’t I up?”  He stifled a yawn as he pried his eyes open to look at his lover.  “You were there, Haru.”  Rin quirked a brow, smiling slyly.  “Can’t lose sleep to ice your wrist, but sex is OK, huh?”  There were still towels strewn across the foot of the bed and his underwear was…somewhere…  The memories were vivid and the way Haru looked, felt, and sounded in his arms, sitting across Rin’s thighs, was better than any fantasy or daydream he could come up with. 

“Priorities.”  Haru’s gaze was smug.  He’d managed to find his underwear, or had put on a fresh pair. 

Rin sat up, the blankets pooling in his lap.  “Why are _you_ awake this early?” he asked, finger-combing his hair into place.

Haru’s eyes lit with excitement and he climbed fully onto the bed, sitting between Rin’s knees.  “Rin, _look_ ,” he said, his voice hushed with awe as he held up his wrists, side-by-side with his palms inward. 

Haru’s left wrist wasn’t taped at the moment, though there were a couple of lines and faint redness from the brace he’d worn to bed.  The skin at the base of Haru’s left hand was still discolored with yellow and purple hues, but…

Rin’s eyes widened.  Haru’s wrists _matched_.  For the first time in a week, Rin could see the tendons along the back of Haru’s hand and the knobs of bone beneath the skin…  The swelling was _gone_.  Rin gulped for air, warmth gathering in his throat. 

“Haru…”  He reached out, gingerly running his fingertips over each dip and ridge...  Moisture gathered in his eyes.  “It still hurts?”

Haru nodded, bending both wrists forward and back.  With his left wrist, he got most of the range of motion of his right.  “A little.  Like a one.  One-point-five.”

 _Half of what you were calling it a week ago_.  Rin held his breath as he aligned his trembling palm against Haru’s and carefully interwove their fingers, holding Haru’s left hand properly for the first time since the injury.  _You’re healing.  Just like everyone said._ The tears blurred his vision as he bent his head, pressing a tender kiss to discolored skin.

Haru’s smile was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.  After their lips met, they sat with their foreheads resting together while thin trails of tears ran silently down Rin’s face and dripped from his chin.

“Rin.”  Haru hugged him tightly with his right arm.  “Help me with my square legs today.”

Rin smiled, the tears coming harder.  “Yeah.”  The hoarse whisper was all he could manage as the chains weighing his heart down started to give way and he felt like he could soar again.

 


	26. Tempered sunlit free

* * *

Friday, July 22nd, 2016

* * *

The sky was bright blue and the air was hot as Haru left the climate-controlled Boeing 737 cabin for Moroccan sunshine.  The line of disembarking passengers moved slowly down the airstairs to the sizzling tarmac, where a shuttle bus waited to ferry them to the terminal.  Haru paused at the top of the stairs to don his sunglasses, tilting his head back to get his hair out of the way.

Rin’s arm draped over his shoulder, warm through the fabric of the lilac-colored polo shirt Haru wore.  “You ham.  You’re holding up the line.”

Haru glanced back, offering his lover a mild look with plenty of spice.  “I only walk free, Rin.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin smiled, flicking strands of burgundy hair aside as he put on a matching pair—the shades they got during the beach photo shoot in Málaga.  Rin’s cotton polo was pale blue, the collar doing a fair job of concealing the fading red spot on the left side of his neck.  They both wore comfortable pants and sneakers for traveling.

Haru had a similar mark in the same location, which fortunately wasn’t bothered by the strap of his messenger bag.  The redness would be gone by tomorrow, but their memories from Spain needed to carry them for the next three weeks, now that the Rio rule was in effect. 

As the line crept forward, Rin caught his hand instead.  Even though the brace made it a little awkward, Haru felt a sweet glow as their fingers wove together.  For a while, Rin had barely touched his injured hand, as if even the gentlest contact would break it.  That changed when the swelling went away.  Since then, Rin had been generous with touch—holding his hand, kissing his wrist, applying the tape precisely according to Kasai’s instructions.  Haru liked it every time—these small intimacies that indicated Rin wasn’t afraid anymore; simple but powerful acknowledgements that Haru was healing.  It was progress.

They boarded the shuttle bus, standing near the back and leaving the handful of seats to other passengers.  As the bus filled in, Haru took advantage of the close quarters to slip his arm around Rin’s waist, beneath the backpack Rin wore.  Rin’s backpack had a dolphin-shaped lump to it, though he hadn’t taken the toy out for their first flight.  They were only a couple hours into their full day of travel, with the short hop behind them and the trans-Atlantic flight left to go.  _Maybe the dolphin will help you sleep on the plane._

Rin smiled, sliding his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  He leaned in and Haru cherished the kiss pressed subtly behind his left ear and the way Rin rested their heads together, after.

They were near-ish to the window, though there wasn’t much to see except hangars, tarmac, and taxiways.  Haru watched a plane takeoff and another one land.  In the distance, he could see palm trees.  _I’m in Africa._   If anyone had told him, even a year ago, that he was going to do this…  _Way too much effort._ Haru smiled to himself.  _I would’ve quit on the spot._

“What’re you smirking for?” Rin asked as the shuttle started to move.

Haru perched his hand on Rin’s hip, sliding his thumb through a beltloop.  “I’ve been to five continents, Rin.  When we land in Brazil tonight, it’ll be six.”

Rin snorted.  “You’re bragging?  Tonight’ll make five for me.”

Haru shook his head.  _I probably could’ve stayed in Asia—even in Japan—my whole life.  But then you took me to Australia…_ “Five whole continents I never would’ve visited on my own.  They’re all sights I’ve never seen before.  That you’re showing me.”

Rin’s eyes widened behind tinted lenses and Haru felt it as Rin’s breath hitched.  A blush crept into Rin’s cheeks, his expression hardening with the effort of keeping his emotions at bay.  He didn’t say anything, maybe because he couldn’t.

Haru squeezed Rin’s side.  _I love you, Rin._   “I guess this means we have to go to Antarctica, too.”

“Dummy.”  Rin’s voice was a little hoarse as he rolled his eyes behind the shades.  “There’s no pool there.  It’s way below freezing year-round.”

“Mm…  Do you think they have a hot tub?”  _If it’s that cold, I guess I can take a hot bath._   Haru caught the gleam of amusement in Rin’s eyes before Rin pressed their heads together and chuckled into Haru’s hair.

“Pretty sure it’d still put your Norwegian polar bear swim to shame, Haru.”

Haru smiled.

-x-

They were the last shuttle load to head to the terminal.  Haru and Rin followed signs in Arabic, French, and English for international connections, bypassing immigration and customs.  They caught up with Coach Maekawa and their teammates in the main terminal area, next to a set of departure screens and across from a magazine store.

Maekawa checked her watch, her sunglasses perched on top of her head.  “Alright, no one be late for boarding.”  She straightened the strap of her blue leather travel bag over her tank top and cardigan.  “Everyone still has their boarding passes?”

The six of them produced their paperwork and Maekawa nodded.  “Good.  Call me if you need anything.  I’ll be in the waiting area.”

After a chorus of ‘hai’s’, Maekawa left them with a wave, pulling her phone from the pocket of her jeans. 

Otani immediately had a thin book in hand.  The cover was a picture of a city by the sea with text in English that read _Casablanca._   She wore a small white backpack over a short-sleeved peasant blouse and skinny jeans, her light brown hair pulled up into its perpetual bun.  “Casablanca is the largest city in Morocco, its chief port, and the economic and business center…”  She paused.  “Kawamura-kun, what’s this word, here?”

Still holding Haru’s hand, Rin leaned over to Sada, murmuring under his breath.  “Did she just buy that?”

Sada nodded, her hand resting on her red and black messenger bag.  Her outfit coordinated, athletically styled in red and black with white accents.

Rin chuckled.

“You know we’re not leaving the airport, Otani-san?” Koda asked, grinning.  “Who’s up for something to eat?”

“They’ll feed us on the plane,” Sada said.

“In like four hours…”  He looked around at the nearby establishments, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.

“Casablanca is also the setting for the 1942 Hollywood film starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman.  A recreation of Rick’s café was opened in 2004 and is a popular spot for tourists…”

“Come on, Otani, you can walk and talk at the same time,” Sada said, tugging on the girl’s backpack affectionately.  “We’ve got ten hours in cramped airplane seats ahead of us.”  She and Kawamura flanked Otani as they merged into the stream of travelers.

Haru and Rin fell in behind, with Koda.

“You guys hungry?” Koda asked.  “It’s lunchtime.”

Haru shrugged.  “Not really.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin flicked his eyes skyward.  “He’ll eat if we find fish.”

Koda smiled.  “Yep, I was there in Oita, last summer.  Nanase-kun ate nothing but grilled pineapple and _saba_ the whole week…”

The mention alone made Haru’s mouth water.  “It was amazing.”

Rin grimaced, turning a little green. 

Koda laughed.  “Not your thing, Matsuoka?”

“ _Saba_ isn’t food.  It’s what food eats.”

“Nn.”  Haru pursed his lips.

“Lean meats are much better sources of protein and iron—”

A rich field of blue caught Haru’s eye.  He tuned out Rin and Koda’s conversation, staring at a floor-to-ceiling advertisement on the wall.  The image was a three-story aquarium with coral and tropical fish…and a mermaid.  His steps slowed, his fingers slipping from Rin’s as he made a beeline for the wall to stand in front of the picture.  The words were in French, but Haru caught _Morocco Mall_ and _L’Aquadream_.  The water was so clear and crystal blue he could almost _feel_ it, his skin tingling—

An arm draped around his shoulders.  “What are you doing?”

Haru didn’t turn from the ad, using his most serious voice.  “Rin, I know what I want to do with my life.”

Rin touched their heads together and sighed.

Haru glanced over. 

The blue from the backlit ad reflected on Rin’s face.  Rin’s eyes were warm with mirth and affection.  “Like you’d be happy in a cage, Haru.”

_Mm, you have a point._

Rin smiled, tugging gently on his shoulders.  “Come on.”

Haru soaked in Rin’s smile, letting himself be led away from the wall.  He loved seeing Rin like this—relaxed and at ease.  It was a part of Rin he’d lost when the injury happened.  Gradually, bits and pieces were starting to surface again.  This moment wouldn’t last, but he believed for _Someday_ , for _sakura_ in full bloom and for Rin’s heart to be whole and vibrant.  Even the small glimpses he got now— _it’s so much better than water, Rin._

“ _Oi_ , Nanase-kun!”  Koda waved at them from the entrance of a nearby restaurant.  “We found fish _chermoula_.”

“It’s traditional Moroccan cuisine,” Otani said, still reading from her guidebook.  “Along with _tagine_ , _couscous_ , and mint tea.”

Koda was grinning.  “They have _saba_.”

Haru’s eyes went wide.  “Where?”

-x-

Their flight departed Casablanca just prior to 5pm, local time.  Haru had the window seat on the B787-8 aircraft with Rin beside him and Koda on the aisle.  The window had no pull-down shade.  Instead, Haru pressed the button, watching the window dim to deeper and darker shades of blue.  _How does it do that?_   He waited for the window to get to its dimmest setting…then selected the lightest.

“Haru, are you gonna play with that all flight?”

“You’d try it, if you had the window seat,” he said.

“ _Tch._   I had the window seat from Tokyo to London.”

Haru arched a brow, glancing over.  _And?_

Rin grunted.  “No comment.”

Dinner service was early in the flight, then the cabin attendants dimmed the cabin lights and darkened the windows.

On the aisle, Koda reclined his seat and put in earbuds.  “Don’t be shy about waking me if you need to get out.  Or climb over.”  He shrugged.  “I’m easy.”  He donned a sleep mask and promptly passed out.

Haru pulled out his shark plush and slipped off his shoes. 

Rin was watching, his expression faintly envious.  He took out his tablet and sighed, reaching for the controls for the reading lamp.

Haru caught Rin’s hand.  “Wanna try?” he asked, massaging Rin’s palm with his thumb.  “With me.”

A blush colored Rin’s cheeks.  “Haru…”

Haru reached down past Rin’s legs, freeing the dolphin plush from Rin’s backpack.  Then he pushed the button to recline Rin’s seat. 

Rin pressed his lips but leaned back.

Haru adjusted his seat to match and stowed the armrest between them.  After arranging their blankets, he settled back, face-to-face with Rin.  Their bracelets brushed as Haru drew Rin’s hand close and kissed Rin’s knuckles.  The blush in Rin’s cheeks deepened, though he didn’t pull away.

Haru smiled.  “Good night, Rin.”

Rin exhaled as if melting into his seat.  “‘Night, Haru.”  He squeezed Haru’s fingers.

Haru closed his eyes.  Hugging his shark plush and holding Rin’s hand, he drifted off immediately.

-x-

Rin’s reading light was on when Haru woke up.  The cabin was dark and quiet except for the ambient, aircraft noise.  The screen in front of Rin’s seat had the flight map up, showing their progress.  The airplane was in the middle of the Atlantic, between South America and Africa, right on the edge of the nightfall that was slowly moving westward.

Haru yawned, stretching as best he could in the cramped seat.  He took off his brace so he could do a couple of the wrist exercises Kasai had shown him.

“Do you want to get out?” Rin asked, lowering his tablet.  The dolphin plush was in his lap.

Haru shook his head.  “Did you sleep at all?”

Rin smiled faintly.  “Some.  Which is a lot more than usual.”  Gratitude was plain in his gaze.

Haru felt a tiny thrill, happy that he could help even that much.  “What are you doing?”

Rin’s smile turned rueful.  “ _Boa noite.  Meu nome_ _é Rin Matsuoka_.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  He reached down into his messenger bag, feeling around until he found the folded sheet of paper tucked into an inner pocket.  Unfolding it, he turned on his reading lamp.  “ _Tudo bem?  Meu nome_ _é Haruka Nanase._ ”  Haru paused. _“Eu só nado livre.”_

Rin grinned.  “Haru…”  He leaned over, ruffling Haru’s hair with warm fingers.

Haru pressed into Rin’s touch, turning his head to kiss the center of Rin’s palm.

Rin’s eyes softened.

Haru’s face heated as he glanced down at the bottom of his page, at a pair of phrases he’d handwritten, added to the list in Norway.  He lowered his voice, meeting Rin’s gaze.  “ _Eu te amo, Rin_.”

Rin went still, his eyes flaring wide.  Under the gentle, amber glow of the reading lights, his cheeks reddened. 

Haru held his breath.  _Do you know what that means?_   Maybe it was obvious enough from context, but it was the first time he was trying it—telling Rin ‘I love you’ in a different language.

Rin’s face was scarlet as he leaned in, his thumb brushing across Haru’s cheekbone, their foreheads touching.  “ _Eu tambén te amo, Haru_.”

Haru gasped quietly.  His fingers shook a little as he lifted his hand to Rin’s face, sweeping strands of hair aside.  _We both did the research—how to say ‘I love you’ and ‘I love you, too.’  And you didn’t even look at your cheat sheet._  

They spoke over one another. 

“Rin, you…”

“You looked it up too, huh?”

They laughed together almost silently, hands still cradling each other’s faces. 

Haru gazed into the eyes of the one he loved—eyes that were playful, glittering with mirth, and reflecting the same love he felt like a tidal force inside him.  He reached up, flicking the controls for the reading lights and plunging them into darkness except for the glow from Rin’s screen.  Haru’s gaze dropped to Rin’s lips, his heart beating hard in his chest.  “Can I—”

His words were cut off by Rin’s kiss—firm and sweet and _perfect_ —even as Rin’s cheek burned beneath his palm.  The kiss was chaste, but Haru was still breathless when Rin drew back.  Loving and being loved in return—what they shared—was as amazing at 38,000 FT as it had been by the pool in Barcelona.  The pain he felt on that Tuesday in May—the night he said goodbye to Rin in Tokyo—felt like a lifetime ago; a teaspoon of water dropped into the sea.  “Rin.”

Rin was glancing behind them and to Koda in the aisle seat—not very subtly—as if to ensure everyone in a two-row radius was still fast asleep and oblivious.

Haru waited, his fingertips curling into the collar of Rin’s polo shirt…until he got impatient.  “ _Rin_.”

“Hm?”  Rin met his gaze again.

“Today should’ve been one day left.”  Haru left his paper in his lap atop the shark plush so he could rest both hands on Rin’s shoulders.  “I would’ve been in São Paulo already, waiting for you.  Tomorrow was supposed to be the first time we’d see each other since the Japan Open.”  _Sixty days.  Two months._ Rin’s body was warm against his palms, through the thin fabric of Rin’s shirt.  The simple pleasure of being able to touch the one he loved, to be side-by-side, was not something Haru took lightly.

Rin bit his lower lip, his face clouding.  Haru could almost see it, the way their time together in Barcelona and Sierra Nevada gathered in glistening crimson eyes.  The same memories welled up in Haru’s heart.  He’d seen so many sides of Rin during those precious days and weeks; he’d seen Rin broken and afraid, irritated and angry, considerate and loving…impassioned and tenderly vulnerable.  Those moments were a part of him, embedded deep into his heart and impossible to erase.  Even trying to imagine it—what it would be like to be in São Paulo right now, ignorant of all of those things, with a whole chamber of his heart missing—he _couldn’t_. 

“I’d do it all again,” Haru whispered.  He moved his left arm, deliberately touching his taped wrist to Rin’s cheek.  _If I had the chance to decide, knowing what I know now._ “I’d choose everything with you, Rin.”

Rin’s breath came out in a puff, moisture trembling on his eyelashes.  “Haru…”

Haru curled his right hand into Rin’s hair, coaxing his lover closer.  Their lips met.  Rin’s right arm encircled his shoulders and Haru twisted in vain in the cramped airplane seat.  There was no way to get comfortable for a proper hug—

A throat cleared from the aisle seat.  “Um, guys?”

They jerked apart so fast Haru’s head bumped the bulkhead next to the window.  As he rubbed the sore spot, Rin sat back in his seat with one hand covering his eyes, clearly wearing his _‘Oh God kill me now’_ face.

Koda was smiling and waving from the aisle seat like, _Hi, remember me?_   His sleep mask was on his forehead.  “Now, I don’t mind the two of you having a moment, but I also didn’t sign up for front row tickets to the _mile-high club_ , so…”  Koda used English for the term.

Rin made a kind of strangled, choking noise.  If it was possible to die of embarrassment, Haru was pretty sure he’d be witnessing it right now.

“ _Mile-high club_?”  Haru tested the unfamiliar words. 

“Haru, _shut up_.”

Koda chuckled and Haru knew the guy well enough to tell he was good-naturedly teasing them.  “Nanase-kun, you’d be amazed at the things people try to do on airplanes.  It’s super obvious and not at all sexy.”  The guy shrugged.  “Though I guess that’s my opinion.”

 _Oh._   Haru considered the confines of their seats and the tiny airplane lavatories that always had a distinctive…smell.  “That doesn’t sound comfortable.”  _Or hygienic._

“Right?”  The guy nudged Rin with an elbow.  “Come on, Matsuoka.  Breathe or something.  I’m just kidding.”

Rin dropped his hand and sighed, his face still scarlet in the glow from the screen.  “Hai.”

Haru glanced at the map, at the small white airplane creeping across the Atlantic.  “Rin.  Wanna watch a movie?” 

“Sure.”  Rin put his tablet away, pulling out his earbuds instead.  “Sharing?”

Haru nodded as Rin plugged in.  They each took one earbud, Haru scooting as close as possible.

“Bet they have _Casablanca_ ,” Koda said, tugging his sleep mask into place and settling back in his seat.

Haru reached for Rin’s hand, questioning the one he loved with a glance.  _Are you mad, Rin?_

Rin shook his head, lacing their fingers together.  He put the dolphin plush on Haru’s shoulder, using it and Haru for a pillow.  “What do you want to watch?” he asked, navigating the touchscreen with his other hand.

Haru smiled, relaxing with Rin resting against him.  “You pick.”

-x-

The airplane descended through the clouds, São Paulo spreading out beneath them like a blanket of golden lights, twinkling in the dark.  Haru watched out the window with his shark plush tucked beneath his left arm.  His right hand was intertwined with Rin’s, their seatbacks and tray tables appropriately forward and locked for landing.  Beside him, Rin’s silence was broken by the occasional yawn.  It was 10pm local time, which made it something like 3am in Spain.  Haru was awake enough given his nap for the first half of the flight, but Rin had gotten quieter and quieter the later it became.  He hadn’t been able to sleep and Haru hoped their hotel wasn’t far from the airport so he could put Rin to bed as soon as possible.

The cabin lights came on full bright before the aircraft touched down on the runway for a smooth landing.  Rin sat back in his seat with his eyes closed during taxi in and the usual overhead bin circus, until they were finally able to deplane.

Coach Maekawa, also looking exhausted, did a headcount before they headed to immigration and customs.  Aside from long lines and a lot of waiting, the process went smoothly and no one lost their luggage. 

Haru pulled his suitcase with his right hand, holding hands with Rin with his left as they followed Maekawa and their teammates through the secure exit corridor to the arrivals area.  It was cooler here compared to Morocco or Spain; Haru and Rin had both donned sweatshirts over their polos.

“Who’s got welcome duty, Koto-nee-chan?” Koda asked, walking ahead with their coach.

Maekawa stifled a yawn, pocketing her phone.  “The usual night owl plus one.  I told Coach Fujino we could’ve handled it, barring any major drama, but.”  She shrugged.  “I don’t mind the help.”

Koda chuckled.  “I bet ‘plus one’ insisted.”

She smiled.  “You know he did.”

 _I would’ve been here._   Haru clutched Rin’s hand as best he could with the brace in the way.  _At any hour._   He glanced aside at Rin, who was on his feet and semi-alert, but looked like he could pass out at any moment, given the opportunity.  _But our private reunion, beneath the stars in Sierra Nevada, was better._   Haru smiled to himself.

Rin arched a brow. 

Haru shook his head.  “I’m happy I got to travel with you, this time.”

“ _Tch._ ”  Rin looked away.

Haru’s amusement grew.  _I even like you when you’re cranky, Rin._

They passed through automatic doors into the main terminal area—

“Mae-chan.”  Coach Akagi was standing off to the side in his bomber jacket, a patterned black shirt, and faded black jeans.  His earring glinted under the bright lighting.  Next to him, Captain Ikehara looked notably tired, but he was smiling and wearing a light jacket with his polo shirt and khakis.

“Thanks for meeting us,” Maekawa said, leading the way over.

“Everyone made it, luggage and all?” Ikehara asked.  He’d gotten a haircut, Haru noticed, which made the copper highlights in his brown hair less prominent.  Captain Ikehara scanned each of their teammates in turn, his warm gaze landing on Haru and Rin.

“Seems like it,” Maekawa said.

“I’ll call the bus around.”  Akagi stepped away, taking out his phone.  He pointed to the nearest exterior doors.  “It’ll be right outside.”

As their teammates started to shuffle in that direction, Captain Ikehara came over.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.  Good to see you again.”

“Captain,” they said in unison, bowing their heads.

The captain’s gaze flicked to Haru’s wrist and Haru felt Rin stiffen even before the question was asked.

“How’s the wrist, Nanase?”

“It’s fine,” Haru said.  “Better every day.”  Over the next twenty-four hours, he knew he’d be having this conversation repeatedly.  The JASF press release came out days ago, including Coach Fujino’s statement:  _[It’s a minor injury.  We have every reason to believe for Nanase-kun’s full recovery prior to Rio.  In the meantime, we’re taking all precautions to avoid reinjury.]_   His teammates would be curious.  Those who weren’t curious would feel it impolite not to ask…  It was going to become bothersome quickly, but that wasn’t the part Haru worried about—not with the way Rin’s fingers went limp in his.  At least Rin didn’t pull away.  Haru knew they’d get through it, but that didn’t make things easier in the moment.

“Glad to hear it,” Ikehara said, his smile compassionate.  “Come on, you guys must be wiped.  It’s less than an hour to the hotel.”  He waved them towards the doors.

“Ah.”  Haru tugged on Rin’s hand, starting to follow.

Rin was slow to move.  Haru glanced back…and a familiar ache ran through his chest, seeing the way Rin’s face had shuttered.  By now, Haru had tried everything to help—telling Rin he was fine, distracting Rin, making things as normal as possible.  Nothing _stuck_.  The only real progress they’d made was commensurate with the healing of his wrist.  Right now, what Rin needed was sleep.  Any other attempts to help the situation were likely to leave them both irritated.

“Rin?”

Rin met his gaze.  Rin’s eyes were dull with a pain Haru had seen too many times over the last ten days.  He blinked and shook himself, laboring to come back.  “Yeah, sorry.”

Haru pulled gently and this time, Rin didn’t hesitate.

-x-

Forty-five minutes after leaving the airport, the shuttle bus pulled up to a covered entrance.  There were tall buildings all around, luminous in the dark, though the spacing wasn’t nearly as tight as Tokyo.  Haru nudged Rin as their teammates started to file wearily off the bus.  Rin had fallen asleep against his shoulder, which meant that the emotional weight had caught up with the physical, if Rin was able to sleep at all in a moving vehicle. 

“Mn.  We’re here?” Rin asked, slowly lifting his head.  He rubbed his forehead, wincing. 

“Yeah,” Haru whispered, leaning over to kiss Rin’s cheek.  They were in the back by themselves and Rin gave a little sigh, his fingertips running sweetly down the side of Haru’s face before he wrenched himself to his feet and gathered his backpack.

After recovering their suitcases, they headed into the hotel lobby.  Haru squinted at the sudden invasion of light, trailing Rin and their teammates.  The lobby was open to the floor above with a stairway immediately to the right.  Sculpted white panels, suspended on wires, formed an art feature in the space overhead.  The front desk was to the left against a patterned, backlit wall of white.  The desks and accents were honey-colored wood.  In the center of the room, on a royal blue carpet, was a low black couch.  Across on the right, there was a small seating area with brown leather arm chairs.  Beyond that was the entrance to the hotel’s restaurant and bar.

It was after midnight now—past 5am in Spain.  They waited off to the side with their luggage while their coaches handled check-in.

“We’ve got the morning off, right?” Sada asked, brushing black hair out of her eyes.  She looked reasonably awake while Otani leaned on her suitcase, her head bobbing as if she could fall asleep standing up in the middle of the lobby.

Captain Ikehara nodded.  “Clinic’s at 1pm.  The club’s a five-minute drive, so you’ll have plenty of time to sleep in and have lunch before we go.”

“Got it,” Sada said.

Maekawa and Akagi came back, handing out card folders.  “Elevators are behind us,” Akagi said, pointing.  “Shuttle to the club is at 12:45pm, but text one of the three of us before noon.  Otherwise, we’ll assume you need a wakeup call.”

Maekawa fought off another yawn.  “Remember your Zika precautions.  Sleep with the windows closed and the air-conditioning on.  Make sure you’ve got your insect repellent with you tomorrow.”

 _Nn.  I don’t like smelling weird._   But it wasn’t like Rin was going to let him get away with skipping any of that.  It was hard to argue the point.  The last thing Haru needed was to get sick in addition to his wrist. 

“Get some sleep, everyone,” Maekawa said, dismissing them.

The response was a muted round of _hai’s_ and _ah’s_.  Their teammates headed towards the elevators.

Rin draped an arm across Haru’s shoulders.  “Do these rooms have bathtubs or just showers?”

Captain Ikehara scratched his head.  “If it’s like the room I’m sharing with Coach Akagi…just a shower.”

“Rin…”  Haru glanced over, meeting the fatigue in Rin’s eyes.  _You’re too tired for this.  I need to get you to bed._

“Ask if you want, Haru,” Rin said, pressing their foreheads together.  “You’ll be fast, right?  I don’t mind waiting.”  He kissed Haru’s cheek and pulled away, dropping down into one of the brown leather chairs.

 _Well now I know you’re half-asleep_ …  Haru’s face was warm from Rin’s kiss.  “I’ll be quick,” he said, pulling his Portuguese cheat sheet from his pocket.

Rin waved him away and their coaches left.

“You want help, Nanase-kun?” Captain Ikehara asked.

Haru shook his head, holding up his paper.  “I’m OK.  We looked it up earlier.”

Ikehara smiled.  “OK.  See you guys in the morning.”  He paused.  “Er, I guess it is morning.  See you at clinic later.”

Haru waved, then headed for the front desk.  There was no line, just a clerk in a suit behind the desk.

“ _Bem-vindo_ ,” the man said.

“ _Boa noite,_ ” Haru said, placing his card folder on the desk.  He glanced at his cheat sheet to inquire if the room had a bathtub.  “ _O quarto tem uma banheira?”_

“ _Só um momento,”_ the clerk said, tapping on the keyboard behind the desk. 

Haru glanced over his shoulder.  Rin was slumped in the leather arm chair, his cheek resting on his knuckles.

The clerk answered in a long string of Portuguese.

 _I didn’t catch any of that._   Haru turned back.  He looked down at his cheat sheet…

“ _Sem banheira,”_ the clerk said.  “ _Chuveiro._ ”

 _Does that mean shower?_  “ _Chuveiro?”_ Haru asked. 

The clerk nodded, then went back to the computer.

Haru consulted his cheat sheet.  “ _Posso ter um quarto com uma banheira?_ ”  He hoped that was right for asking for a room with a bathtub.

The clerk spoke again and Haru looked up, not understanding.

The man smiled gently and placed a laminated page on the desk’s surface, showing Haru pictures of different rooms.  The clerk pointed to a room with two twin beds, separated by nightstands and almost a meter of space.  “ _Chuveiro_.”  He pointed to a different picture, this one a room with a single, larger bed.  “ _Banheira_.”

A bed like the one in Málaga…  _Brazil rule_ , Haru reminded himself.  At the same time, it looked like it would take some doing to move those twin beds.  He doubted either of them were up for massive furniture rearranging tonight.  _Even if we’re not having sex, I still want to cuddle._   He was fine with it, but…  Haru glanced behind him, but Rin looked mostly passed out.  _You’re not helping me decide._   And now there was a man with a suitcase standing in line, waiting.

Haru pointed at the room with the single bed.  “ _Custo?_ ” 

The clerk touched both pictures.  “ _Mesmo custo.  Mesmo._ ”

 _Same cost?_   Haru exhaled, feeling the seconds tick past.  _I have to choose._   He pointed at the picture of the single bed.  “ _Por favor_.”  _If it’s not OK, we’ll figure something out._

The clerk nodded, taking Haru’s card folder and returning to the computer.  After another minute, the man handed Haru a new folder and set of cards. 

Haru took the folder, dipping his head.  “ _Obrigado_.”

“ _De nada._ ”

He moved out of the way, walking around the blue carpet to get to Rin.

“ _Bem-vindo_ ,” the clerk said, as the man went up.

“ _Good evening_ ,” the customer said in English.  “ _I’m checking in.  The name’s Reyes_.”

“ _Certainly, Senhor Reyes.  One moment please_ …”  The clerk’s English was very good.

Haru’s cheeks warmed.  _Oh…guess I did that the hard way._   He clutched his cheat sheet and card folder, feeling sheepish.  Returning to the seating area and their suitcases, he gently nudged Rin awake.  “Rin.”

“Mn…”  Rin stirred with a grimace, rubbing his eyes as he stood up.  “Got it sorted?”

“Yeah.”  _Kind of…_

They headed for the elevators.  Inside, Haru pushed the button for the 11th floor.  He followed the signs when they got out, stopping in front of room 1134.  Haru opened the door, letting Rin in first.  The lights were on; the bathroom was immediately to the left beside a closet with sliding mirror doors.  With a glance, Haru confirmed the combination bathtub and shower surrounded by beige tile.  The room had pale gray carpet and ivory walls.  There was a desk below the TV on the right-hand side.  Past the bathroom was the single bed with white sheets and blankets, flanked by nightstands.  Sheer white curtains were drawn across the balcony doors, the lights from the São Paulo skyline bleeding through in a soft glow.  A chair, lamp, and AC unit comprised the remaining furnishings of the room.

Rin pulled his suitcase into the room and stopped, looking at the bed.

Haru’s heart was thudding as he closed the door.  “…Is it OK, Rin?”  His hand lingered on the door handle.  “I know we can’t…”

Rin left his suitcase there and came back, smiling tiredly as he circled Haru with his arms.  “I want us to have a bed like this.  Someday.”

“Rin…”  Haru relaxed, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.  Their lips met gently, the contact chaste and sweet.

Rin reached behind him, flicking the locks.  “Shower first?” he asked, his voice husky and laden with fatigue.

“Yeah,” Haru whispered, kissing his lover again.

* * *

Saturday, July 23rd, 2016

* * *

The clock said 10am but it felt like afternoon.  With the air conditioning on, the room was on the cool side but Haru didn’t mind.  It was pleasantly warm beneath the covers, cuddled up with Rin.  If not for his bladder, he wouldn’t even consider getting up yet.  They were a tangle of limbs in the center of the bed; Rin was using Haru’s shoulder in lieu of a pillow and hogging most of the blankets.  A tacky spot on Haru’s chest was probably dried drool, but he wouldn’t tease Rin about that if he wanted to live.  It was one of those rare times when Rin slept dead to the world; even when Haru gently moved his lover to the pillow, Rin only stirred enough to grunt in protest.

Haru scooted over to his side of the bed and climbed out.  At some point, they’d unconsciously settled whose side was whose.  Rin slept closer to the window and Haru slept closer to the door.  Left and right didn’t matter.  _It’s been that way since we started napping together at the NTC._   Haru smiled to himself as he headed into the bathroom in his underwear.

The tile floor was cold beneath his bare feet.  The bathroom had a large mirror that went all the way across the counter and up to the ceiling.  The whole room had a lot of mirrors—the bathroom, the closet doors, and the mirror atop the headboard, behind the bed…  At least none of the mirrors were pointed _at_ the bed.  _That would be weird, watching yourself sleep._

Haru loosened the straps of his wrist brace, sliding it off.  He’d ask Rin to tape it for him later, but for now he studied his wrist and carefully did his range of motion checks, being disciplined to stop at the first hint of pain.  It was less than a one on Kasai’s pain scale and compared to his right wrist, he nearly had the full range.  _Maybe they’ll let me swim today._   The discoloration was barely noticeable, his skin having only the faintest tinge of yellow.  At this point, even practicing with a kickboard sounded appealing.  He needed to do more than float around.  _I want to swim with Rin again._   Rin needed that, too.

Haru washed his face, noting the very beginning of stubble on his chin.  He only had to shave once a week and he could’ve gotten away with another day, but… _might as well_.  From his blue toiletry case, he got out his shave gel and razor.  Like Makoto, he used a multi-bladed razor, the kind with disposable cartridges.  He had an unopened pack in his suitcase for shaving down in Rio, along with a brand-new container of shave gel. 

Rin wandered into the bathroom, yawning, as Haru was smoothing the gel onto the lower half of his face.  Scarlet eyes lasered in on his razor.  Rin clucked his tongue and rolled his eyes as he gathered his hair into a ponytail, securing it with a hair tie from his red toiletry case.  “You should let me show you, Haru.  Just because Makoto’s scared of a straight edge doesn’t mean you have to be.”

“I’m not scared of a straight edge,” Haru said, shifting over automatically so Rin could wash his face.

Rin straightened and dried off, flicking the towel to drape over his shoulder.  There was a glint in his eyes when their gazes met in the mirror.  “Prove it.”

Haru pressed his lips, considering.  “You just woke up.”

“I’m awake,” Rin said, pulling out his razor case.

“You were so asleep you drooled on me.”

“I did not!”  Rin’s breath came out in a huff.  He withdrew the straight edge razor and unfolded it, the blade shining brilliantly under the bathroom lights.  “ _Tch._   All you’ve got is excuses, Haru.”

 _Nn._   Haru hesitated and Rin grinned like he’d already won, running the blade under water.

Rin cocked a brow, giving him a saucy look.  “What, you don’t trust me with sharp things near your throat?”

The mark on the side of his neck said otherwise…and Rin was smirking because he knew it.  _Damnit._   Haru exhaled.  “Just this once—”

Rin’s eyes lit with a boyish delight and Haru immediately regretted his decision.  But he wasn’t going to back out now.

“Over here,” Rin said, setting a damp hand on his waist and moving him until his back was against the counter, next to the sink.  “Hold still and this will be easy.”

Rin stood close enough that their thighs were touching, the warmth of Rin’s body with only underwear between them making Haru’s nerves prickle.  He wasn’t sure if his heart was pounding out of fear or other things as Rin positioned his head with careful fingers and leaned in.  _Maybe both._   Haru closed his eyes, feeling the softness of Rin’s breath against his skin first…then the feather-light touch of the blade. 

Rin worked in slow strokes, the blade slightly cool against Haru’s cheek, making a faint scraping sound as it moved.  Rin shaved against the grain, rinsing the blade often.  When Haru didn’t lose an ear or shed blood from the first pass, he started to relax, his hands resting against the granite countertop as Rin wielded the straight edge with finesse and a steady hand.  Rin’s touch was comforting.  The intimacy of the moment wasn’t lost on Haru, either.  There was an ocean of difference between this and when, as a teenager, he first learned to shave alongside Makoto, with Makoto’s dad teaching.

It was…more than comforting.  Haru held his breath as Rin tilted his head back, working the blade along the underside of his chin.  That bit of skin wasn’t nearly as sensitive as the side of his neck, but he was having a hard time _not_ making the connection, _not_ thinking about their last night in Spain when Rin gave him the mark that had yet to fade completely.  …Especially when Rin was close enough for passing brushes of their chests and hips, and Haru could feel the moist plume of Rin’s breath against his throat—

The blade lifted from his skin and water ran in the sink.  Haru breathed in the momentary reprieve.  “Are you done yet?”

Rin chuckled.  “You don’t want me to rush this part, Haru.”

 _If you’re not done soon, I’m gonna need a cold shower._ His fingers curled against the countertop as Rin returned to him.

His chin and upper lip were last, Haru holding dead still as Rin completed the task.  The blade left and Rin ran more water in the sink.

“Can I—”

“No, keep your eyes shut,” Rin said.

“ _Nn_.”

A wet washcloth replaced the feather’s touch of the blade, drawing all remnants of shave gel from his skin.  That was bad enough, then Rin was working moisturizer into Haru’s skin with his fingertips.

Haru trembled, swallowing thickly.  “Rin—”

Lips covered his, Rin pressing him back against the counter.  The muscles in Haru’s stomach tightened, a delicious shiver running through him.  He kissed his lover back eagerly, catching Rin around the waist.  Rin tasted like water in the desert and Haru drank from his lover’s lips, savoring and drawing out the kiss with their bodies flush until he had to nudge Rin away.

Haru opened his eyes, meeting the startled look on Rin’s face, the crimson blush, and Rin’s heaving chest which matched his own.

“You, uh…”  Rin caught his lower lip with his teeth.  “You liked that, huh?”

Haru nodded.

Pleasure lit in Rin’s gaze and the smile he was fighting was obvious in his eyes.  He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.  “You’ll let me do that again?”

“Yeah,” Haru said, pushing away from the counter and kissing Rin on the cheek on his way out of the bathroom.  “After Rio.”

-x-

At 12:45pm, they were down in the lobby in their team warmups with gear bags slung over their shoulders.  Haru scrutinized his reflection in the glass lobby doors as they waited for the shuttle, the air conditioning feeling particularly cold against his cheeks. 

Rin elbowed him.  “What?  I didn’t nick you.”

“My face feels naked,” Haru said.

Rin smirked.  “Isn’t that a good thing?  You can feel the water better.”

Haru blinked.  _You’re right._  

Rin laughed quietly, taking hold of his left hand.

Haru laced their fingers together, enjoying Rin’s relaxed state while he could.  So far this morning, only the Spain crew had been around.  As much as he missed and wanted to see the rest of their teammates, part of him was dreading it for Rin’s sake.

When a small shuttle pulled up to the covered entrance, Coach Maekawa waved them outside.  “This is us.”

Rin’s mirth faded, his face smoothing. 

The ache spread through Haru’s chest.  _I wish you didn’t have to deal with this part.  I wish it was only me._   He squeezed Rin’s fingers.

Rin met his gaze via their reflection in the glass.  Crimson eyes softened and Haru didn’t miss the tenderness in that look.

Just like when they were kids, those nights when he couldn’t make the storm go away but he could hold Rin through it…  Maybe this wasn’t any different.

Rin exhaled and squeezed back, drawing Haru to follow as they headed outside to board the shuttle.

-x-

Haru looked out at palm trees, tall buildings, and powerlines during the five-minute ride from the hotel to their training facility.  The sky above São Paulo was clear and it was a mild day, temperature-wise.  The shuttle turned off the main road in front of a sprawling, low building with green lawns and red flowers. 

Coach Fujino was waiting at the curb, wearing his Team Japan warmups.  “ _Bem-vindos_ , Olympians.  Welcome to Brazil.”  He greeted them with a smile.  “We have time for the short tour before clinic.”  He led them through the building and outside.

Holding Rin’s hand, Haru looked around as they passed tennis courts, expanses of grass shaded by tall trees, and multiple cafés, including a sushi restaurant.  He tried to peer through the windows at the sushi place, hoping _saba_ was on the menu.

“Haru.”  Rin tugged on his hand.

Haru turned around, letting Rin pull him to the railing—

His breath caught at the field of blue spreading out before him.  Pool.  _Pools_.  They were overlooking a 25m pool with six lanes.  Beyond that was a leisure pool and a kid’s pool with a waterslide…  It was all sparkling in the sunlight—

“The ten-lane Olympic pool is on the far side,” Coach Fujino said.  “Along with the other six-lane warm-up pool.”

 _I might faint._   Haru scanned the deck where they stood, looking for the way down…

Coach Fujino’s hand landed on his shoulder.  “After clinic, Nanase-kun.”

 _Nn._   Haru whimpered as Rin pulled him away.

They went back inside, Haru and Rin trailing behind their teammates.

Rin let go of his hand to sling an arm around his shoulders instead.  “Better than Málaga?” Rin asked.

More pools, maybe, but _swimming together, our photo shoot on the beach, that night, and our bath the next morning_ …  Haru shook his head.  “It’s really hard to top Málaga, Rin.”

Rin’s smile, though more subdued than normal, was still genuine.

Coach Fujino took them up a flight of stairs.  “The meeting room is just down the hall—”

“Rin-senpai!  Rin-senpai!!”

They had enough time to brace, Rin giving Haru a gentle push out of the way before Momo barreled into him.

“Rin-senpai!”

Rin grunted with an armful of the orange-haired kid in Team Japan warmups.  “ _Oi_.  I heard you the first time, Momo.”

“Hee.”  Momo grinned, clinging with arms and legs and not looking like he was going to release his former captain anytime soon.

“Nanase, Matsuoka.”  Mikoshiba wore an easy smile, waving as he climbed the stairs to meet them. 

“Mikoshiba.”  Haru scanned the others nearby, looking for—

Takara was suddenly at the top of the steps, her eyes blazing with fury and fastened on Rin.  “How could you have let this happen?”

The corridor went dead quiet.

Haru inhaled.  “Takara—”

Mikoshiba caught her arm.  “Takara-kun—”

Takara wrenched free, staring Rin down.  “You were _supposed_ to take care of him.”

“—I _said_ that’s enough.”  Haru didn’t raise his voice, but his tone made Takara glare at him.

Haru glared back.  _I’m not kidding, Takara._

Her face shuttered, her mouth thinning into a line as she looked away.

Rin sighed.  “You don’t need to do that, Haru.”  He touched Momo’s shoulder and the boy, wide-eyed and silent, found his feet and let go.  Rin slipped his hands into his pockets, giving Takara a cool look.  “It’s about time someone got angry with me.”

 _Rin._   Haru’s heart was on the verge of breaking.  _Don’t.  I just got you back._

Rin’s voice was calm and even, lacking any sort of venom.  “Have at it, Sakamoto.  You can’t ever be more upset with me than I am with myself.”

A hard lump formed in Haru’s throat, his hands curling at his sides.

Takara drew breath, her face darkening.  She folded her arms in an angry huff, but Haru knew she’d back down.

While most of their teammates looked on warily, one blithely walked up the stairs and passed them for the meeting room.  “Well, that didn’t even take five minutes,” Sugiyama said.

Rin and Takara both went rigid.

Haru felt a chill.  He didn’t, as a general rule, waste any effort disliking particular people.  _But some people should learn not to say anything when it’s none of their business._

“Really?”  Coach Maekawa came out of the room, the hurt and anger in her eyes focused solely on Sugiyama.  She didn’t have to say another word, her look alone making him slow his steps and lose his cool apathy. 

Sugiyama said nothing, his jaw flexing as a silent argument raged between them.  When he pursed his lips and exhaled through his nose, it was obvious Maekawa had won.

She moved into the middle of the corridor, resting one hand on her hip.  “Let’s go, Olympians.  It’s one o’clock.”

Mikoshiba touched Takara’s arm, but she pulled away, flicking her long black hair over her shoulder as she rounded Rin, heading for the meeting room.

Haru lingered behind, his chest tight.  This was the Rin he couldn’t read—guarded and emotionless.  It scared him when Rin got like this.  In his head, all he could see was the pool at the NTC and Rin walking away from him when Sugiyama won their impromptu race in the 100m fly.  When Rin got angry or cried, Haru could handle it, but when Rin withdrew to a place he couldn’t reach…  _I don’t want to lose you like that again._

Wordlessly, Rin moved into the meeting room with the others.  Haru followed.  The room, overlooking a garden, was set up like a classroom with two seats per table.  They claimed an empty table near the back, stowing their gear bags beneath their chairs.  Rin sat down first.  Haru took the seat on Rin’s left.

The moment he sat down, Rin had his hand under the table, gripping hard.  Air trailed from Haru’s lips, his nerves uncoiling.  He squeezed back, the relief so strong his eyes stung.  The way Rin clutched his hand was determination and promise; Haru knew instinctively what it meant.  _I’m not running away, Haru.  I said I wouldn’t._

 _Rin._   Haru blinked slowly to gather himself.  He ran his thumb across Rin’s knuckles, their bracelets brushing on their wrists.  Love welled up inside him.  _Thanks for letting me help this time.  For letting me in._

Rin had his eyes closed.  After a moment, he swallowed and sat back, Haru feeling through their clasped hands as some of Rin’s tension faded. 

“Alright, everyone get settled,” Maekawa said from the front of the room.  Her tone was all business and their teammates quickly found their chairs.

Coach Fujino took over, stepping forward with a warm smile.  “Welcome, Olympians!  It’s our first time back together as a team since the Japan Open at the end of May.  You’ve been training hard over these last two months.  All your effort and dedication is about to pay off.  Two weeks from _right now_ , Olympic swimming events will kick off with the heats for the men’s four hundred meter individual medley.”

Mikoshiba and Koda, sitting at different tables in the front row, made fist-bump motions at each other.

Fujino rocked back on his heels.  “Expect the next week and a half to be the toughest yet, between taper, training, and all of the final preparations.  From here on out, you need to be on your mental game as much as the physical.  We have six days together here in São Paulo, except for our Rio day-trip on Tuesday, so it’s really five.  Then, we move to Rio officially on Friday.”

Haru curled his left hand against his knee as he felt the urgency afresh.  _I have to get better in time._   He glanced aside at Rin, who wasn’t rigid anymore, but wasn’t smiling either.  Haru drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.  _I have to._

“Starting today, we’ll be gradually adjusting your sleep schedules.  Once we get to Rio, our main practices will be aligned with the event schedule—heats at 1pm, semi-finals and finals at 10pm.”

Half the room groaned collectively and Fujino nodded.  “Here in Brazil, we’re officially twelve hours behind Japan.  It’s not enough to overcome jetlag; you’ll need to be the most active when everything—including nightfall—is telling you it’s time to shut down and sleep.  Some of you will find this transition fairly straightforward; for others, this will be a serious challenge.”

Rin mumbled something under his breath, scowling faintly.

“Lastly…”  Coach Fujino smiled again.  “As you know from my messages, we’re hitting the relays hard starting now.  Those of you on the relay roster—primaries and alternates—can expect to focus on these events during team practice sessions.  For the rest of you, our coaching staff has designed specific training regimens for your individual events.”  He paused.  “Are there any questions?”

Kawamura raised his hand.

“Yes, Kawamura-kun?”

“When’s our day off?”

A low chuckle ran through the room; Haru caught Rin rolling his eyes.

“Everyone gets a _half_ -day off on Thursday, before we go to Rio.”  Fujino arched a brow.  “I shouldn’t need to remind anyone that—this close to Rio—discipline with certain lifestyle choices is important.  Yes, the drinking age is lower here than in Japan.  And yes, anyone showing up unfit for practice is going to have a particularly bad day, if you understand what I’m saying to you.  That goes for other activities as well.  Plus, just assume there’s press around anytime you step outside.  If you don’t want it caught on camera for the news and your friends and family back home to see—not to mention JASF and the JOC—don’t be doing it.”  His gaze swept the room.  “Everyone’s clear on that?”

There were nods and ‘hai’s’ throughout the room.

Apparently satisfied, Coach Fujino stepped back.  “Maekawa-san.”

Maekawa moved to the front.  “Your Rio warmups and tech suits are here.  You’ll find them waiting for you in the locker rooms downstairs.”

Haru perked up.  _More swimsuits._

“These are for fit checks _only_.  We’re not debuting these articles until Rio, so we’d better not catch you out on the pool deck wearing them.”  She gave them all a stern look, but it seemed to Haru she was looking at him and Rin in particular. 

 _Nn._  

“Our sponsors have provided training suits as well.  You’re free to use those now if you wish.”  Maekawa glanced at the clock.  “Thirty minutes, everyone.  Then you’re out at the main pool, ready to go.  Also, insect repellent is poolside.  Don’t be spraying that stuff in the locker room and asphyxiating yourselves.  Alright?”

Their teammates got up, the scrape of chairs and rumble of conversation starting up immediately as athletes headed for the door.

Coach Akagi came over.  “Nanase-kun, I’ll show you where the Institute training staff is hanging out.  They’ll check your wrist before practice.”

“…Ah.”  Haru’s heart sank as he stood.  He knew it was a good and necessary precaution, but…  _I just want to swim_.  He let go of Rin’s hand reluctantly. 

Rin’s face was unreadable as he got to his feet—sobered and closed-off. 

“Rin-senpai!  Can we try on swimsuits together?”  Momo bounded over from the front row.

Rin ran a hand through his hair.  “Sure, Momo.”  He grabbed his gear bag from beneath his chair.

Haru inhaled.  “Rin, I’ll meet you later?”

Rin nodded.  They shared a look, the heaviness in Rin’s eyes reflecting what Haru felt in his heart as Rin left, Momo tugging him by the arm.

“…Ready, Nanase-kun?” Akagi asked.

Haru pressed his lips.  “Hai.”

-x-

The trainer’s eval was thorough, leaving Haru with only ten minutes to change and get out to the pool.  Fortunately, the tiny health room was down the hall from the locker rooms.  He exited the place so fast he almost missed Rin leaning against the wall in the corridor, waiting for him.

Rin straightened off the wall, his hands in the pockets of his warmup jacket and his smile faint.  “Where’s the fire, Haru?”

 _Right here,_ he thought, stopping abruptly and clutching the strap of his gear bag with one hand.  He met Rin’s gaze, wanting to enfold himself into Rin’s arms for a hug, but they were hardly alone in the hallway with teammates and club members moving about.

Rin’s eyes dropped to his wrist.  “What’d they say?”

His left wrist was freshly taped with the brace stowed in his bag.  “They still don’t want me putting weight on it, today.”

Rin exhaled and Haru heard the disappointment in that sound.  He felt it, too.

“You’re coming out, though?”

Haru nodded.  “They said the kickboard would be OK.”

Rin’s face brightened minutely.  “That’s something.”

 _Something, yeah, but it’s not a relay with you._   Haru didn’t say it out loud; that would just make things worse.

Rin’s eyes softened as if he could tell what Haru was thinking.  He grabbed Haru’s right hand.  “Come on.  You need to see this.”

Rin took him to the locker room.  In the last row, an opaque, white garment bag with Haru’s name on it hung from the door of an open locker.

 _My Rio suit._   Haru lowered the gear bag from his shoulder, staring at the zipper on the garment bag.

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin’s smile warmed as he leaned against a nearby locker, watching.  “Are you gonna be this bad at Christmas, too?”

 _My dream is to swim with you, Rin._ Inside the bag was tangible evidence that he’d done everything he possibly could to achieve that dream.  His fingers trembled as he reached for the zipper pull.  Did Rin not get what an important moment this was?

“Oh, for the—”  Rin got behind him with one arm around his waist.  Rin’s right hand covered Haru’s, grabbing the zipper and pulling it down.  “We’ve got like five minutes.”

Haru’s eyes widened, his lips parting as Rin revealed the garments.  Their new warmup jackets were white except for the shoulders and collar which were all _sakura_.  The Japanese flag and Olympic rings were on the left side of the chest, with the sponsor logo on the right and _JAPAN_ in red letters down the right sleeve.  Haru stared at the pink blossoms that meant so much to him and Rin.  How could it be possible that the designers _knew_?

Rin chuckled against his shoulder.  “It gets better.”  He maneuvered hangers around, pulling Haru’s tech suit into view.

Haru caught black and gold and pink…and forgot how to breathe.  The jammers had a black base and the _gen-mirai_ collection styling was evident in the flowing lines of gold down each side.  But instead of the slashes of color, there was a thick ribbon of pink _sakura_ blossoms and petals twisting and weaving through the gold.  _JAPAN_ was on the left thigh in white letters and the Japanese flag was near the waistband, just inside the right hipbone.  Emotion welled up in Haru’s eyes as he reached out to touch the delicate fabric.  “Yours…?”

“Mine’s the same,” Rin said, his voice hushed with excitement. 

_We get to swim together wearing these?_

“You don’t have time to try it on now, but you’ll want this.”  Rin dug another hanger out from the back.  This one held a pair of square legs in a coordinating pattern, though the ribbon of _sakura_ was replaced by a shower of individual petals and the Japanese flag was low on the right hip.

Haru clutched the garment in both hands, still speechless.

Rin kissed the edge of his jaw.  “Do I need to undress you, too?”  He undid the zipper on Haru’s warmup jacket.

 _Preferably_.  Haru smiled to himself, filled with new energy as he started shucking off his clothes.  Rin stepped back to let him.  He stripped off his blue square legs and started working the new pair up his thighs.

“Need help?” Rin asked, his gaze lingering on Haru’s backside.

Haru gave his lover a saucy look as he got the suit up over his hips and tightened the cord tie at the waist.

Rin smiled, still perusing him. 

Haru lifted his brows.  “How do I look?”

He caught the glint in Rin’s eyes…then Rin was pressing him back into the locker with a firm kiss and hands buried in his hair.  Haru groaned softly, welcoming the brief sweep of tongue against his before Rin pulled away.  He was left pleasantly breathless.

“You look good,” Rin said.

-x-

They were the last ones to arrive at the pool, wearing Team Japan T-shirts and shorts over their square leg suits and carrying their towels and gear.  The 50m pool had a tiled deck, covered stands on one side and a raised seating area on the other.  There were blue umbrellas and white deck chairs for lounging.  Beyond the fence, the trees were lush and vibrantly green.  Tall buildings rose into the sky from adjacent city blocks. 

Haru slowed his steps as he and Rin joined their teammates.  _Nn._   Even with the pool being outdoors, the smell of spray-on sunscreen and insect repellent was strong, overwhelming the more delicate scent of chlorine.

“Nanase-kun.”  Ozawa came over, a can of sunscreen in hand.  Her long brown hair was already tamed under her swim cap, her goggles dangling at her throat.  Konishi was with her, both women wearing black, gold, and _sakura_ one-pieces that coordinated with his square legs.

“Ozawa-senpai.  Konishi-san.”  Haru waited for the inevitable question about his wrist, but neither of them asked.

Ozawa was shaking the spray can.  “Come on, you know the drill.” 

Haru sighed, setting his stuff down on a nearby deck chair and stripping off his T-shirt and shorts.  He closed his eyes and held his arms away from his body, allowing Ozawa to spray him down. 

“Sunscreen first, bug spray goes on top,” she said. 

 _Nn.  It smells weird._   He crinkled his nose when she was done with both coats.  How much scrubbing would it take to get this stuff off in the shower, later?

“OK, Nanase.  All done.”

“Thanks,” Haru said, still holding his arms out as he air-dried.

Ozawa traded Konishi for the sunscreen again.  “Matsuoka, you’re next.”

“Hm?”  Rin inhaled.  “Oh, I can—”

Ozawa shook her head.  “Less talking, more stripping.  Let’s go.”

Haru glanced at Rin aside.  _It’s easier if you just let her do it, Rin._

Rin exhaled and took off his clothes until he was standing there in matching square legs.

 _I like matching._   Haru furtively eyed his lover.

“Hold your hair up, OK?” Ozawa asked, moving in with the spray can.

Rin gathered his hair up with both hands, closing his eyes as Ozawa liberally coated him with sunscreen.

Other members of the team were in the pool already or on the opposite side of the pool deck, doing the same thing. 

“Sada-nee-chan!!”  Momo did a cannonball off the side into lane nine, next to where Sada was swimming free in lane eight.

 _Does he know how to dive?_   Haru tried to remember if he’d ever seen Momo do anything but a backstroke start.

Sada surfaced, ducking underwater into Momo’s lane.  “‘Sup, Squeaker,” she said, brushing water from her face.

“Hee.”  Momo grinned, bobbing in the water and holding out his arms.  “Can I have a ride?”

“What are you, five?”  But she turned around, letting Momo climb onto her back.

Mikoshiba was standing on the pool deck, scratching his head as he watched.  He looked confused.  _Sakura_ petals and veins of gold crossed on the front of his speedo, with the Japanese flag perched on the right hip.  Beyond him, Takara was sitting in one of the deck chairs, looking sullen.

Maekawa’s whistle sounded, drawing everyone’s attention.  “Standard warm ups, Olympians.  Six hundred meters.  Let’s go.”  She was in her warmup pants and a black T-shirt with her warmup jacket tied around her waist.

Haru and Rin put on their swim caps and goggles, moving towards the pool as everyone started to line up.

“Nanase-kun, lane one, OK?”  Maekawa handed him a kickboard.

Haru took the kickboard, trying not to be disappointed, _but_.  Reality settled heavy on his shoulders.  _I can’t swim in the same lane as you._   Of course he couldn’t warm up at his normal speed.  _I should have realized…_ He didn’t meet Rin’s gaze, a lump in his throat as he went down to the far side of the pool by himself.

Akagi was waiting for him, his earring glinting in the sunlight.  “You can still dive, Nanase-kun.  Grab the kickboard when you come up.”

“Hai.”  Haru climbed onto the block, tossing the board into the lane ahead of him.  The blue foam flipped end over end before landing several meters down and floating against the plastic green line on the right side of the lane.

“Ready?”  Maekawa paused.  “Matsuoka.”

“Ah,” Rin said.

Haru glanced over, watching Rin bend down to grasp the block in lane four, three lanes over.  _We’re still in the same pool.  I still get to practice with you._   But the thoughts sounded hollow and didn’t alleviate the ache in his chest.

“Ready…?”  Maekawa waited for a beat, then blew the whistle.

Haru dove, going into streamline for the first time since his injury.  His left wrist felt stiff but not painful.  He entered the water fingertips first, starting his dolphin kicks…  So far so good, but he wasn’t doing anything that needed his wrist to move.  Haru dolphin-kicked for as long as he could, coming up for air midway down the lane.  He had to turn back for the kickboard.

By the time he started towards the turn end of the pool, he was well behind his teammates in the adjacent lanes.  It wasn’t like he didn’t use a kickboard regularly—it was part of his normal training regimen for strengthening his kicks.  But he couldn’t delude himself that this was anything but what it was.  The water didn’t help either, fighting him, constantly trying to tear the board from his hands.  By the end of 600 meters, Haru wanted to face plant into the stupid board and just float there.

Coach Fujino was already talking through the main set when Haru climbed out of the water and joined his teammates.

“We’ll be working on exchanges to start with, for the free relays.  Women on the start end, men on the turn side, lanes one, two, and three.  For those of you not swimming freestyle, Coach Maekawa has your set, for lanes four through eight.”

Haru propped his goggles on his forehead, wondering which group he fell into.  Or would he be off by himself again?  _I can do exchanges._   He looked at Rin…but Rin was towards the center of the group while he was on the edge.  Rin’s eyes were downcast, his face unreadable.

Fujino divided up the lanes for the women, then for the men…  “Mikoshiba and Sugiyama, you’re in lane two…and Nanase and Matsuoka in lane three.”

Haru’s head popped up.  He felt a glimmer of hope, looking over and meeting naked longing and anguish in Rin’s eyes before Rin hastily looked away and gathered himself.

“Women are with me, men are with Coach Akagi,” Fujino said, dismissing them.

Haru waited for Rin, his eyes burning when Rin draped a damp arm across his shoulders and they walked together across the pool deck, trailing behind their teammates.

Coach Akagi joined them en route.  “Nanase-kun.  You’re cleared for this with two caveats.  One—go for the wall with your right hand, and two—stop right away if your wrist starts to hurt.  Got it?”

“Hai,” Haru said, dipping his head.

Akagi went ahead, catching up with the others.

Rin squeezed his shoulders and leaned close.  Haru started at the kiss to his damp cheek, at the way Rin pressed their heads together in complete defiance of their lack of privacy.  Rin didn’t say a word and Haru couldn’t either.  He reached up, lacing his fingers through Rin’s as they made their way to the block on lane three.

“We’ll do three sets of twenty, rotating pairs for each set,” Akagi said, lifting his whistle.  “Higashi, Mikoshiba, Matsuoka, you’re in the pool first.”

Rin righted his goggles and dove into the water with the others, swimming out to fifteen meters.

Haru exhaled and stepped up onto the block, setting his feet.  He met Rin’s gaze through tinted goggles…and it felt like forever, since they last got to do this.

“Ready…”  The whistle blew and Rin was swimming towards him with smooth strokes of free.

He knew this part by heart, crouching for the dive as Rin neared the wall…  Three, two, one…  He counted to himself as he watched Rin’s strokes, knowing—feeling—the exact moment he needed to start his dive.  Rin’s fingers hit the wall, Haru’s feet left the blocks…his body shadowed Rin’s as he dove and he didn’t miss the warm, emotional look in Rin’s eyes, beneath him.

Haru surfaced at fifteen meters and turned, his feet finding the bottom of the pool.  Rin had climbed out and was setting his feet on top of the block.  Haru’s heart thrilled within him as their eyes locked.

“Ready…”  Akagi lifted the whistle.

Haru swam free for the first time in twelve days.  He moderated his strokes, being careful each time he cupped his left hand and pulled.  The stiffness was still present, but the tape helped.  Haru swam for the wall, for Rin, the eagerness building inside him the closer he got—

As Rin started his dive, Haru was reaching for the wall—  _Shit._ Wrong hand.  He circled over top with his right, but Rin’s feet left the block before he touched the wall.  The mistimed exchange carried through to Rin’s dolphin kicks.  He surfaced well shy of fifteen meters, looking back with concern. 

Haru shook his head.  _I’m fine._   He hoisted himself out of the pool, taking care not to put any weight on his left wrist.  _I just used the wrong hand that time._

“You usually don’t have to think about it,” Akagi said.  “Which hand to finish with.”

“Ah,” Haru said.

“Don’t sweat it.  Hence the practice.”

Haru dipped his head and climbed back onto the block.

For the next set, he made adjustments and the gap slowly closed.  It still felt odd, forcing himself to finish with his right hand, but he could manage if he stayed conscious of it. 

They were into the second set of twenty, the fourth exchange, when the stiffness in Haru’s wrist sharpened.  He was only halfway to the wall; Mikoshiba was waiting for him on the block, but he knew what Rin would say if he pushed it even a little.

Haru surfaced and grabbed the line with his right hand, bobbing in the water.  Two lanes over, Rin was looking at him rather than at Hirota in his lane.  He messed up the exchange, diving late.

Akagi came to the edge of the pool.  “Nanase-kun?”

“My…”  He couldn’t even get the words out.

Their coach nodded, waving him out of the water.  “Mikoshiba, you can join Matsuoka and Hirota in lane one.”

One of the Institute trainers was waiting for him on the side of lane zero.  It was the guy who worked with him after clinic, in a black Institute polo shirt and athletic pants.

The trainer assessed his wrist quickly.  “It’s fine.  Let’s just ice and rest it for now.”

“…Hai.”  Haru accepted the ice pack the guy withdrew from an insulated bag.

“Take a break, Nanase-kun,” Akagi said.  “You can stay and watch if you want, but you don’t have to.”

Haru didn’t want to stay.  The ache in his heart was one thing, but the pain on Rin’s face—that Rin was trying to hide—was worse.  He stripped off his cap and goggles and left the main pool.

The kids’ wading pool, by the waterslide, had one of those umbrella-like structures where the water cascaded over the edges in sheets, creating a cocoon inside.  The sound was nice, too—loud enough to drown out the whistles and coaches’ instructions from the main pool.  Haru sat near the pillar at the center of the umbrella with his legs hugged to his chest and the ice pack wrapped around his wrist.  The water was shallow, covering his feet, ankles, and hips.  They wouldn’t let him practice any more today.  He knew that without having to ask.  No one—including him—wanted to risk reinjuring or worsening his wrist.  Not when, in a week, or maybe a few days, he could be completely better.  But the hope wasn’t much to hold onto right now.  _I knew today was going to be hard._ Haru buried his face in his arms.  _I just didn’t think it would be_ this _hard._

He didn’t know how long he’d been there, but when the sound of the water changed and he could discern footsteps, the ache worsened.  He knew it was Rin, but for a moment he fantasized that it wasn’t.  That it was Captain Ikehara, Ozawa, or one of their coaches.  Even Takara.  Because that meant that Rin was still practicing, that he was getting something out of today, that a stupid wrist sprain wasn’t bringing them both down—

“Haru…”  The word was broken, barely audible above the sound of the water falling into the pool.

Haru lifted his head, looking up into Rin’s face, at reddened eyes shadowed by wet strands of hair, at tears mixed with water dripping off Rin’s chin.  Haru’s eyes stung at the picture of heartbreak in front of him.  He felt the same way.

As his vision blurred, Haru freed his right hand, reaching for Rin.  Rin’s face crumpled.  He dropped down to his knees in the shallow water, throwing his arms around Haru’s shoulders and burying his face in Haru’s hair.  Haru wrapped his right arm tightly around Rin’s torso, as if the contact alone could keep them from falling apart completely.

Rin’s breath came in hitches, his words labored.  “Haru…I’m sorry…”

Haru closed his eyes against a flood of hot tears.  “Rin…”  He said the name but nothing else.

Holding each other was all they could do.

-x-

Captain Ikehara was the one who found them eventually, when their tears had dried and they were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder against the pillar with their legs stretched out into the water.  Haru’s ice pack had long-since melted and he was starting to get cold, though he wouldn’t have admitted it—despite their intermittent shivering.

Captain Ikehara ducked under the umbrella in his black and _sakura_ swim briefs, the water pelting his shoulders.  He looked them over for a moment and sighed.  “Come on.  You’re both turning blue.”

 _Nn._   But arguing with their captain wasn’t a good idea.  Haru and Rin got up, following Captain Ikehara out into the main part of the kid’s pool.

Ozawa was waiting with towels, her wet ponytail hanging down her back.  No one else was nearby.

Haru clutched the towel she draped around his shoulders, shivering more forcefully now. 

“Hot shower or warm bath?” she asked, wrapping the second towel around Rin.

“Bath,” they said in unison.  While they shared a look, Ozawa and Ikehara smiled.

“This way,” Captain Ikehara said, leading them inside.

-x-

The recovery room had two temperature-controlled baths.  Aside from looking slightly perplexed, Captain Ikehara and Ozawa didn’t comment when they climbed into the same tub and sat back-to-back.

Ozawa hung up their towels while Captain Ikehara put their stuff in the bins by the door.

“One of us will be back to check on you guys in a bit, OK?” Ozawa said, as she and the captain headed out the door.

The water was warmer than Haru preferred, enough to make his cold extremities tingle, but it wasn’t bad.  After the pins and needles sensation subsided, he was comfortable, especially leaning back against Rin.  There wasn’t anything else in the tile-floored room—just the two recovery baths.  Water sounds echoed off the walls and a ventilation fan was humming in the ceiling.  As the feeling came back into Haru’s wrist, it throbbed a bit but didn’t hurt anymore.  Haru felt…tired.  It was too early for the jetlag to start kicking in, though—it was only dinner time in Spain.

Haru rested his head on Rin’s shoulder and sighed softly.  Rin was equally quiet.  From the lack of tension in Rin’s back, Haru guessed Rin was just as drained as he was.  Damp strands of burgundy hair clung to Haru’s cheek.

The bath was a nice size—probably not intended for two people, but for someone bigger than them, certainly.  Though their knees were bent, they weren’t scrunched like the time they shared Haru’s _ofuro_ in his Tokyo apartment.  The tub wasn’t as large as the bath in Málaga either, but given that the Málaga _bathroom_ had been the size of his apartment, he was able to manage his expectations.

“Rin.”  Haru stared up at the white ceiling, at the lights and the slats for the ventilation fan.

“Hm?”

“Do you think we can find a bath like this when we look for a place?”

Rin snorted.  “Do I think we can find a full-sized therapeutic bath in Tokyo?  Maybe if we want to live in a training facility, Haru.”

“Nn.  Not private enough.”

Rin made a faint sound of amusement.  “I wonder what the realtors will think.  If we climb into the bathtub to see if it’s big enough for us.”

Haru liked the mental picture, even as he imagined the poor realtor looking very confused…  “We should do that,” he said and stifled a yawn.

“You’re falling asleep?”

Haru shut his eyes.  “Maybe.”

“My legs are gonna cramp up.”

“Turn around then.”

“ _Tch._ ”  Rin moved against his back.  “Sit up.”

Haru rubbed his eyes and sat forward, the water sloshing around him as Rin sorted it out back there.  Legs slipped to either side of Haru’s torso.

“OK.  Here.”  Rin touched his shoulders, inviting him back.

Haru settled into his lover’s arms, resting against Rin’s chest as he stretched his legs out.  He only had to bend his legs a little, his knees just below the surface of the water.  _This is better_.  Rin’s warmth enveloped him, all across his back, up his spine into his hair, along his arms and legs, too.  Their feet were aligned in a row against the opposite side of the tub. 

Haru fought another yawn.  “You’re not gonna be embarrassed?  When they find us like this.”

“Nm…”

That was a yes, but Rin didn’t move.

“If we keep our hands in plain sight, it’s probably fine,” Rin said.

Haru smiled to himself, lifting his hands out of the water to rest on the sides of the bath.

Rin picked up his hand—his left—and brought it to his lips, kissing the back of Haru’s wrist.

Haru’s heart settled.  For the first time in hours, he felt a sweet influx of calm.

“How is it?” Rin asked.

“It doesn’t hurt now.”  He watched as Rin studied the tape job and sighed.  Rin kissed the spot again, the ridge of tendon and bone over Haru’s scapholunate ligament.

“OK.”  Rin didn’t say anything else and it was probably better that way.  A flurry of words wasn’t going to change their situation.  They needed _time_.

Haru closed his eyes again, tucking his face against Rin’s throat as he let himself relax.

“Haru.”  Rin’s larynx vibrated gently against Haru’s cheek.

“Mm?”

“ _Eu te amo._ ”

Haru smiled, lacing their fingers together.  “ _Eu tambén te amo, Rin._ ”

-x-

“I can’t believe he can sleep like that.”  Mikoshiba’s voice came from nearby. 

In Haru’s head, the guy was sitting cross-legged on the edge of a jacuzzi in his speedo, with one foot in the water.  The jacuzzi was in the center of a pool.  That pool was in another pool.  In the distance, there was a waterslide, a waterfall, and a diving board…  _I must be dreaming.  I don’t think this pool exists._   Haru was reclining in the jacuzzi, in Rin’s arms.  It wasn’t too hot, which was nice.

“You roomed with him,” Rin said.

“Sure, but I never found him asleep in the bath.”

“Mika-nee-chan says it’s dangerous to sleep in the bath.”  Momo had both arms draped over the side of the jacuzzi…and a mermaid tail.  Its scales were bright orange and golden.  He was peering into the jacuzzi.

“Duh.  That’s why I’m awake.”  Dream-Rin rolled his eyes.  “‘Cause you might hit your head when you nod off and accidentally drown.”

Mermaid-Momo reached forward—

“—No, don’t poke him.”  There was a swatting sound.  “You’ll wake him up.”

“Hee.”  Momo went back to lounging, his tail flipping out of the water.

“Momotarou, what’s with you and Sada-kun?”  Dream-Mikoshiba was looking at his brother suspiciously.

“Sada-nee-chan is like Mika-nee-chan,” Momo said.

“You stopped asking Mikan for piggyback rides a long time ago.”

Rin snickered, his arms tightening around Haru’s shoulders.  “Busted.”

“Eh…”  Dream-Momo scratched his head.  “I gave up when Sada-san said she doesn’t hook up with teammates.”

“So you _were_ paying attention,” Rin said.

“Hey.”  Momo pouted.

“Don’t call my brother dense, Matsuoka.”  Mikoshiba folded his arms, still balanced on the edge of the jacuzzi at the center of the fantasy pool.  “And who said anything about ‘hooking up?’  Momotarou, how do you even know what that means?”

“It means hanging out together!”  Momo lowered his voice.  “…Naked.”

There was a splashing sound.  “I asked _how_ you knew, not _what_ you knew.”  Mikoshiba sighed.  “Never mind.”

Mer-Momo grinned, his head wet.

Rin shifted, a few droplets falling on Haru’s shoulder and right ear.  “Mikoshiba, what about you and my sister?”

Mikoshiba ran a hand through his hair, stalling.  “Ha…haha…Gou-kun?”

Momo flicked his tail, sending a spray of water into the air.  “Gou-san?”

 _I want a tail._   Though, having his legs tangled with Rin’s was nice, too…

“She knows what brand of protein powder you use.”

“Oh, that…”  Mikoshiba laughed sheepishly.  “She asked.  We trade emails, you know.  It’s nothing weird, Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hehee.  Nii-chan sends pictures to Gou-san.”

“What?!”  Rin leaned forward and Haru got a splash of water down the side of his face.

“Nn…”  He stirred groggily.

“Sorry.”  Rin gently brushed the water from his skin and hair.  Soft lips followed—just above his ear, as Rin spoke into his hair.  “Go back to sleep.”

 _Mm._   Haru snuggled in, staying in his cozy dream world. 

“Uh-haha…  I don’t know what you’re talking about, Momotarou!”

“When we got to the pool, you were asking Sakamoto-senpai to take your picture in your new suit.  But she didn’t want to ‘cause she was moping.  So Koda-senpai did it.”

“Er…”  Mikoshiba blushed. 

Rin grunted.  “I don’t believe this.”

… _Am I dreaming?_ Or was Rin _really_ having a casual conversation while holding him rather intimately…  _And you’re not embarrassed, Rin?_

“You better not be sexting my sister.”

“What’s sexting?” Momo asked.

“ _No_ ,” Mikoshiba said.  “Of course not.  And don’t use terms like that around my brother.”

“Hee.  Rin-senpai, are you _sexting_ Nanase-senpai?”

“ _No_.  Get your head out of the gutter, Momo.”  Rin lunged with one arm—

“You started it, Matsuoka—”  There was a scuffle and a splash as someone fell into something—

A bunch of water dumped over Haru’s head—

Haru sat up, shaking the water from his hair and finally opening his eyes…  No jacuzzi, no pools, and Momo didn’t have a mermaid tail.  The kid was somehow folded into the second recovery tub with his arms draped over the closer side and his feet sticking up behind him.  Mikoshiba was picking himself _out_ of that same tub, soaked head-to-toe in just his speedo and there was a ton of water on the floor.

Rin had one arm around Haru’s shoulders and they both had wet hair.  Haru blinked, watching the color bloom in Rin’s cheeks.

“Hey, Nanase-kun.  You’re awake, huh?”  Mikoshiba got to his feet, wiping the water from his face.

“Conveniently changing the subject,” Rin muttered.

Momo grinned at him, waving.  “Did you have a nice nap, Nanase-senpai?”

“Yeah,” Haru said.  “I dreamt you were a mermaid.”  _I was a little jealous._

Momo’s golden eyes became huge.  “Did I have a tail and everything?”

Haru nodded.  “It was shiny.”

“Yippee!”  The kid flopped down into the tub, sending another wave of water over the edge.

“ _Oi_ , Momo—”  Rin grimaced as more droplets hit their faces.

“Wait…”  Momo popped up, water dripping from his hair.  “Did I have…?”  He touched his chest.

“No, you were the boy-kind.”

Momo’s cheeks reddened.  He giggled and ducked back underwater.

“Great.”  Rin sighed.

“We should get going, Momotarou,” Mikoshiba said, grabbing towels off hooks for him and his brother.

Haru lifted one hand out of the water, looking at how wrinkled his fingers were.  “It’s OK if I get out, Rin?”

“Yeah, go for it.  My legs have been asleep for a while.”

Haru climbed out, carefully stepping over the side onto the wet floor.  _It’s a good thing there’s a drain._

Wincing and moving slowly, Rin stretched out his legs.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Haru asked.

Rin glanced up, his face sheepish.  “Just, you know…”  It was plain in his eyes— _I didn’t want to._

Haru smiled.

It took Mikoshiba _and_ Rin to persuade Momo to get out of the tub. 

The kid barely dried off, dancing out of the room in his towel and speedo.  “Mer-boy!”

“Momotarou, don’t run in the hall!”  Mikoshiba took off after him.

Haru and Rin stayed behind, toweling off and donning their T-shirts and shorts. 

Before they left the room, Haru caught Rin in a hug, pressing a kiss to his lover’s cheek.  “Rin, thanks.  I feel better.”

Rin hitched a breath and Haru drew back…  Rin’s eyes glistened as he gently took hold of Haru’s left hand, lacing their fingers together.  “Yeah,” he whispered, smiling as they headed out.

-x-

Their next practice was scheduled for 5pm, but Coach Fujino asked for a meeting prior.  Haru and Rin sat with their coach on the terrace, sipping smoothies from the juice bar.  The seating area had round wooden tables and white chairs; white fabric stretched sail-like overhead, shading them from the sun.  The breezy terrace overlooked the first of the two 25m pools.

Coach Fujino sipped from his glass and sat back, considering them.  “How’s your wrist now, Nanase-kun?”

Haru lifted his left arm, flexing his wrist forward and back.  Rin had freshly taped it for him, just a bit ago.  “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Fujino nodded.  “Good.  I spoke with the training staff.  We’ll make some adjustments for tomorrow.  For tonight, though, I’d like you to dryland.”

Haru wasn’t surprised.  “Hai.”

On his right, Rin got quiet, setting his glass on the table.

“There are excellent facilities here with plenty to keep you busy.  Kasai-san arrives on Monday; in the meantime, the training staff we have onsite will work with you.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

Coach Fujino shifted his gaze.  “Matsuoka-kun, your choice.  Coach Akagi and I spent a while talking earlier.  If you prefer to dryland this evening, that’s fine with us.”

Rin inhaled slowly and didn’t answer.

Fujino smiled gently.  “You tend to rely on your upper body.  Some extra lower body focus wouldn’t be a bad thing.  And it’s just for today.”

Haru withdrew his hands to his lap, beneath the table.  “You’re not taking me off the relays?”

Their coach shook his head.  “It’s too soon to be talking like that, Nanase-kun.  We’ve got two weeks until Rio, almost three weeks until the medley.  You’re not even two weeks past your injury.”  His eyes softened.  “Even if I don’t get you into the pool until the day before the race, that won’t stop me from putting you in if it’s the right thing to do.  I’m not giving up on anything and you shouldn’t be either.”

“Hai,” Haru said around the warm lump forming in his throat.

Coach Fujino arched a brow.  “So, Matsuoka?”

Rin’s face clouded but he didn’t hesitate, bowing his head towards the table.  “Please allow me to dryland today, Coach Fujino.”

 _Rin._   Haru wasn’t going to argue.  Rin was free to choose for himself.

“Consider it done,” Fujino said, smiling.  He reached for his glass and sipped again.  “Now, with that out of the way, we can discuss the real reason I brought the two of you out here.”

Haru sat back, blinking.

“Huh?”  Rin looked startled.

Coach Fujino’s smile broadened.  He reached down into his messenger bag, withdrawing a glossy, navy blue folder with the Koutei logo.  He placed the folder in front of Rin.  “Admissions info, Matsuoka-kun.  In addition to joining my professional team, I’d like you to consider Koutei’s coaching program.  With a particular focus on high school, collegiate, or private clubs.”

Haru’s heart swelled within him.  _I knew I wasn’t the only one who noticed, Rin._

Rin stared at the folder, speechless; his eyes gleamed with a mix of shock and emotion.

“We’ve been watching you closely these past few months.  You’re a natural leader and teacher and we see a lot of potential in you.  I know you feel like you’re just getting started, but it’s not too soon to start thinking long-term.”  Fujino paused, finishing off the rest of his drink.  “You don’t have to give me an answer right now.  Think about it.  There’s still time to enroll for the upcoming fall semester, if you decide you’re interested.”

“…Hai,” Rin said with effort.

“I’m counting on you to convince him, Nanase-kun.”  Coach Fujino slid his chair back and got up.  “I’ll see you two after practice.”

Haru and Rin followed suit.  “Hai.”  They both bowed low as Fujino left.

Haru straightened, holding his breath as he watched Rin reach out with trembling fingers, touching the folder as if it were a sacred, precious object.  Rin lifted his head, revealing a face that was flushed with excitement and eyes that were troubled.

“…Haru, you think—”  He didn’t get the rest of the words out, but Haru knew anyways.  _You really think I can do this?_

Haru nodded, stepping close and wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist.  “Yeah, Rin,” he whispered, pressing their foreheads together.  He let Rin see it in his eyes.  _You’re more than enough and I’m not the only one who knows it’s true._

Rin exhaled hard, visibly fighting to keep it together as he hugged Haru back.

-x-

They worked up a good sweat during dryland, Haru feeling better about his wrist after a full session of strengthening exercises with the trainers.  They finished out on the stationary bikes, racing each other and increasing the resistance until they were both on the max settings and sweat was pouring from their brows.  Rin won in the end.

The exercise room had a wall of windows, facing the lawn and the closest pool.  The sun was already setting and the water shimmered, reflecting gilded clouds.

“I want to go swimming,” Haru said, hanging his towel around his neck after they’d wiped down their machines.

Technically, they were supposed to be getting dinner at one of the restaurants onsite and he expected Rin to mention their schedule.

Rin lowered his water bottle and grinned.  “OK, Haru.”

They snuck out to the leisure pool in their _sakura_ suits, just carrying towels.  The pool was two squares overlapped diagonally, with stripes of tile along the bottom in multiple shades of blue.  It had varying depths and no ropes, which was perfect.  Haru waded in—the cool water heavenly on his skin—until it was deep enough to slip underwater.  He held his breath for as long as he could, then surfaced, rolling onto his back and floating in sunset hues.  Rin joined him for a little while, then retreated to the side to watch.  If Haru closed his eyes, he could picture the _sakura_ petals from the Samezuka pool, more than a year ago—the way they ran through his fingers and clung to Rin’s hair.

The sun descended rapidly towards the horizon, blazing between buildings, and the temperature started to drop.  When he heard Rin yawn, Haru righted himself, standing in the waist-deep water.  Rin was sitting on the steps with his towel on his head, looking sleepy.  Jetlag.  It was past their bedtime in Spain.

They were the only ones in the pool.  Haru waded over, stopping at the base of the steps, in front of Rin’s knees.  “The sun sets early here.”

Rin stifled another yawn.  “Because it’s winter, dummy.  We’re in the other hemisphere.”

 _Oh, right._   He leaned in, bracing a knee on the steps and his hands to either side of where Rin was sitting.  “I’ve been to all the hemispheres.”

Rin cocked a brow.  “There’s only two.”

Haru smiled and snuck a kiss.

Rin looked at him slyly as they parted.  “We got in trouble for this before, Haru,” he said, winding his arms around Haru’s neck.

“We’re mostly not in the pool, Rin.”

“Right…”  Rin smiled, his eyes dancing with mirth.  “Like that’s gonna fly with Coach Maekawa.”  But Rin was the one pulling him in for a longer, sweeter kiss…and tangling fingers into his hair as the sunlight faded.

* * *

Sunday, July 24th, 2016

* * *

Jetlag had Haru crashing early and waking up at all sorts of weird times.  At 2am, it felt like morning…by 5am, he felt like he’d overslept.  Both times, it was still dark out.  When Haru stirred at 7am, sunlight was striking the curtains and he was by himself in the bed.  _I guess I’ll get up._ It wasn’t as fun, sleeping without Rin.

Rin wasn’t in the bathroom or taking a bath; Haru found him on the balcony, lounging in one of the two deck chairs with his phone.  Rin had put on a tank top, sweatshirt, and sleep pants; he was leaning back in his chair with one foot propped on the concrete wall, below the safety railing.  São Paulo spread out as far as Haru could see—tall buildings and tight clusters of green trees, all wrapped in a low blanket of fog.  There was some road noise as the city woke up, but it wasn’t very loud as high as they were.

The morning was chilly and the breeze made it worse.  Haru shivered as he leaned outside.

“Dummy.”  Rin swatted his thigh playfully.  “Put some clothes on.”

“Nn.”  Haru ducked back inside.  From his suitcase, he pulled out Rin’s shark T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.  He grabbed his phone and his blue blanket in lieu of a sweatshirt.

The tile floor of the balcony was cold, but it wasn’t enough to make Haru go back for socks.  He pulled the second deck chair next to Rin’s and sat down with the blanket draped from his shoulders like a cape.  Immediately, Rin slipped an arm around him.  Haru leaned into the kiss Rin pressed above his right ear.

“ _Bom dia, meu amor,_ ” Rin whispered into his hair.

 _Good morning…my love?_   Haru smiled.  _You must be in a good mood if you’re saying cheesy stuff like that_.  He turned for Rin’s lips.  “ _Bom dia, Rin._ ”  The kiss was languid and unhurried…far longer than necessary for a simple greeting.  Haru sighed in his throat.  _I wish I could take you back to bed._   Their show time this morning wasn’t until 11am.  _I can think of a lot of ways to spend four hours…_

At length, Rin grunted and pulled away.  “Stupid rule,” he muttered, his cheeks pink as he went back to his phone.

 _Yup._ Haru settled beneath Rin’s arm, snuggling in as he connected to wifi on his phone.  “Texting home?”

“Yeah.  Sousuke, Gou, my mom…”

“Mm.”  Haru accessed his inbox, checking his messages.  _[I’m in Brazil_ , _]_ he wrote to Makoto.  _[Sorry I didn’t text yesterday.]_   He sent a text to his parents as well, then flicked through email…

He selected a message from Director Kaya with the subject line, _[Shibuya]._   It was addressed to both him and Rin, with a large attachment.

The text loaded first.  _[OK, I know I said we weren’t going to use the backdrop shots right now, but this opportunity was too good to pass up!]_

The image appeared and Haru was suddenly staring at a huge billboard overlooking the Shibuya crossing in Tokyo.  His face went hot.  “Uh, Rin?”

“Hm?”

“Did you check your email?”

“Not yet, why?”

They had taken three photos from the shoot for the billboard.  On the right, Haru was touching the collar of his sapphire-blue warmup jacket and glancing straight at the camera.  It was a zoomed-in shot—from the waist up, the jacket drifting away from his body.  Rin’s close-up in a wine-colored jacket was on the left—with one hand in his hair and that tantalizing flick of eyes…  The picture was taken just before Tsuchiya stopped the shoot for too much sex appeal.  They were together in the center photo, which was full body.  They were wearing white and gold tech suits with black and white jackets.  Haru remembered the air from the fan in their faces and Haseda telling them to look annoyed.  The three photos together spanned the width of the building, the billboard facing Shibuya’s famous intersection.  Bolded text in Japanese and English advertised the _gen-mirai_ collection and wished them luck in Rio.

Rin leaned over for a look...and grabbed Haru’s arm, going red in the face.  “Huh?”

“It could be worse.  They didn’t use the sunset photo.”  He scrolled down to the rest of the message.  “She says it just went up today and it’ll be there through Rio—”

With a groan, Rin buried his face in Haru’s hair.  “When she said _print_ I didn’t think she meant _billboards._ ”

“It’s a good picture of you, Rin,” Haru said.  _I like the picture of us, too._

Rin sighed, resting his chin on Haru’s shoulder.

Haru scrolled back to the photo.

“ _Tch._ ”  Rin nuzzled fabric away from Haru’s neck, sinking his teeth lightly into the skin he uncovered.

Haru shivered pleasantly.  He lifted a brow.  “Want me to put it away?  If it’s irritating.”

“Nm…”  Rin frowned.  “I didn’t say that, Haru,” he muttered.

-x-

They ate a late breakfast at the hotel, then boarded the shuttle bus with their teammates.  The fog had cleared and the day was heating fast.  Haru tugged on the collar of his jacket as they arrived at the club, eager to trade his warmups for a T-shirt and shorts…and the pool, hopefully.  The trainer from yesterday met them as soon as they entered the main building.

“Nanase-kun.”  The guy had short black hair.  Today, he wore a red and white polo—still with the Institute logo—and black shorts.  “I spoke with Coach Fujino yesterday.  We’ll do a full session before you head out to the pool.  Can you come to the gym after clinic?”

Haru dipped his head.  “Ah.”  Coach Fujino had promised adjustments…  Whether it worked or not, Haru felt better about today.  His expectations were tempered and he was calm.  _I won’t end up in the kid’s pool again.  …Unless we’re going down the waterslide._   Haru glanced sidelong at Rin as the trainer headed off with a wave.  _Do you do waterslides?_

Rin arched a brow.  “Hm?”

“Mm, nothing,” Haru said, catching Rin’s hand and lacing their fingers together.  _We’ve got time._   Rin would have to be pretty relaxed to even consider it, he figured.

Rin narrowed his eyes suspiciously.  He lowered his voice as they headed down the hall in the direction of the meeting room.  “Do I need to make you talk, Haru?”

“Maybe,” he said.

There was an answering spark in Rin’s gaze.  His eyes flicked to Haru’s mouth and neck. 

Just that much was enough to make Haru’s throat go dry and his heartrate pick up.  He exhaled slowly, knowing the battle on his part was entirely futile.  Haru smiled to himself and stepped closer, letting their arms brush as they walked. 

Rin’s gaze softened.  He smiled, squeezing Haru’s hand.

-x-

After clinic, while the rest of the team headed out to the pool, Haru met the trainer in the gym.  The guy took him through a bunch of stretching exercises, some Kasai had shown him plus a few new techniques.  Haru’s wrist felt nice and loose by the time the trainer reapplied tape to his wrist and sent him to the locker room.

The garment bag with his name on it was hanging at his locker when he got there, reminding him he hadn’t yet fit-checked his Rio warmups and jammers.  For now, though, he was supposed to be out at the pool.  Haru changed into his black and _sakura_ square legs, donning a red and white Team Japan T-shirt and matching shorts over top.  He grabbed his gear and headed outside, his sandals slapping the tiled walkway.

The trainer caught up with him, carrying a small messenger bag.  “You’re fast, Nanase-kun.”

 _I guess_.  Haru shrugged.

The guy smiled.  “We’re going to the warm up pool on the far side.”

“OK.”

The walkway took them past the 50m Olympic pool, a chain link fence separating the path from the pool deck.  Haru glanced over, watching his teammates drill and listening to the sound of the whistle, the shouts of their coaches, and water splashing.  They went around a partition and past a grove of trees to get to the 25m warm up pool. 

“I’ll let them know we’re here,” the trainer said, heading off towards the main pool.

Haru stripped down to his square legs poolside, setting his clothes and gear on one of the white deck chairs.  Holding his breath, he sprayed himself down with sunscreen and bug spray, then grabbed his goggles and swim cap.  He had the six-lane pool to himself, which was a nice change from yesterday.  Even though he wished he could be with Rin and his teammates, it was easier this way and less distracting.

Haru stood next to the block on lane one, waiting with his cap on and goggles on his forehead.  He watched the water sparkle in the sun.  _I like outdoor pools_.  Something about the sky and fresh air was so…freeing.  There was just that silly business of _weather_ that made people yell at him when it was ‘too cold’ or ‘raining.’  _If I’m in the pool anyway, what’s the big deal about sky water?  I don’t get it._

Footsteps broke into his thoughts.  Haru glanced over, surprised to see his trainer accompanied by Coach Fujino.  He thought it would’ve been Coach Akagi or maybe Coach Maekawa…

Coach Fujino wore a Team Japan T-shirt and gray board shorts.  He was carrying a drawstring mesh bag.  “Nanase-kun, how’s your wrist?”

“It’s good,” Haru said.

Fujino smiled.  “Ready to get to work?”  He set the bag down on a chair, pulling out a diver’s mask with attached snorkel. 

“Sure.”

“We’ll start in the water.  I’d like to get a closer look at your stroke.  Freestyle shouldn’t strain your scapholunate ligament.”  Fujino slipped off his sandals and his T-shirt, settling the mask on his forehead as he joined Haru by lane one.  “Sometimes, after an injury, you have to revisit the fundamentals.  You spend so much time being careful, over- and undercompensating, especially with a stressful injury like this one—”

 _Nn._   “I’m not stressed.”

Fujino lifted a brow.  “I heard about the kid’s pool, Nanase-kun.”

Haru closed his mouth.

“Lane one,” Fujino said, heading halfway down the side of the pool.  “Fifty meters, nice and easy.”

“Hai.”  Haru donned his goggles and slipped into the cool water, his feet finding the tiled bottom. 

Coach Fujino sat on the edge of the pool, moving his mask into place before he got in.  Once he was in position, he gave Haru a thumb’s up.

Haru ducked underwater, pushing off from the start end of the pool.  He surfaced after a couple of meters, transitioning to slow pulls of free.  He swam past Coach Fujino, who was kneeling on the bottom of the pool with his arms folded.  At the opposite end of the pool, Haru flip-turned, staying underwater slightly longer, but making sure he was well into free by the time he passed his coach on his way back to the finish.  He touched the wall with his right hand and popped up, shaking the water from his head.

Coach Fujino stood up, moving the mask to his forehead and wiping water from his face.  He motioned Haru out of the pool and climbed out.

Haru propped his goggles on his brow and used the ladder, careful not to put weight on his left hand. 

“This is what you’re doing, Nanase-kun.  Tell me if you see it.”  Coach Fujino mimed his stroke. 

Haru watched the motion, studying the placement of elbow, forearm, and hand through entry, catch—  _Oh._   “I’m bending my wrist too much.”

Fujino nodded.  “Only slightly, but it’s enough to transfer pressure to your hand, instead of utilizing your whole forearm and engaging your large muscle groups.”

Haru felt sheepish.  It was all stuff he knew.

Coach Fujino smiled.  “As I said, it’s normal—needing to tweak a couple of things after an injury.  We’ll do some paddle drills.”  He pulled a pair of hand paddles from his gear bag.  “Let’s try a hundred meters and see how it feels.”

“OK.”  Haru got back into the pool, settling his goggles into place and slipping his hands into the straps.  The paddles were black, extending just past the heel of each hand.

Haru pushed off from the wall, surfacing and going to stroke—  He could feel it immediately, the way he automatically relaxed his hand, forming a straight line from his fingertips all the way to his elbow for the catch, the work transferring to his chest and lats during the pull.  Even with the extra resistance of the paddle, he felt smoother in the water, his reduced efforts yielding more power.  _When did I stop just feeling the water?_   Maybe it _was_ stress like Fujino said, as much mental as physical.

Four lengths of the pool went by quickly; Coach Fujino watched him underwater like before.  At the wall, Haru surfaced, not yet breathing hard.  His wrist felt fine.

Fujino swam over to join him and took off his mask.  “How was that, Nanase-kun?”

“Good,” Haru said.  _Really good._

Haru’s coach smiled.  “We’ll stick with the paddles and low speeds today, so we don’t overdo it.  I’ll have you do another hundred for warm up, then I’ll give you a set.”

“OK.”  Haru brightened. 

As Coach Fujino climbed out of the pool, Haru got to work, gliding through the silky water with the sun on his back and endless blue sky above him...  He felt _free_ for the first time in almost two weeks.

-x-

Haru was well into a set of building 100’s—with thirty seconds rest between each hundred—when Rin showed up poolside.  Their eyes locked and Haru waved with a paddle.

Rin’s eyes softened.  He was still wet from the other pool, wearing his matching square legs and carrying his cap and goggles.  Rin rubbed the back of his neck, turning to their coach.  “Coach Fujino, Coach Maekawa said to—”

“Yes, perfect timing, Matsuoka-kun.  Nanase, I’ll have you switch to lane two.”

“Hai.”  Haru ducked under the line into the adjacent lane.  He glanced at the pace clock near the start blocks as his thirty seconds wound down—

“Matsuoka, when’s the last time you did a breathless fifty?”

Rin’s face clouded.  He started to say something, but stopped.

Haru felt it in his chest as that fateful moment flashed through his mind.  Rin was reliving it, too—he could tell by the haunted look in Rin’s eyes.

Fujino’s smile was gentle.  “That’s what I thought.  I’d like to see some two-breath fifties if you’re up for it.”

“…Hai.”  Rin stretched his cap over damp hair, approaching the start block on lane one.

“Nanase.”  Fujino tapped his watch.

“Ah.”  Haru ducked underwater, starting his next one hundred. 

He was halfway across the pool when Rin came up beside him.  It felt as though an electric current swept through the water—  _We haven’t gotten to swim together since that night_.  Rin broke the surface at fifteen meters, taking his first breath towards Haru— 

Haru picked up the pace, matching Rin to the wall.  They turned in unison, dolphin-kicking underwater and going to stroke together.  Haru took one breath for the back twenty-five—with Rin—the two of them driving towards the finish—  They touched and popped up at the same time, breathing hard.  Haru’s heart thrilled inside him as he looked across the lane line to Rin.

“Nanase-kun, you’re doing hundreds.”

 _Oops._   Haru turned and kicked off, but not before he caught a glimpse of the pleasure and raw emotion in Rin’s eyes, behind his goggles.  _I know_.  There was a warm glow in Haru’s chest as he started his third length of the pool.  _You need this as much as I do._

By the end of the session, Coach Fujino had them doing sets of single-breath fifties, breathing after the turn.  Haru hit just after Rin on the final set, every muscle in his body dead tired, but his wrist didn’t hurt at all.  He drew lungfuls of the oxygen-rich air—São Paulo was less than a quarter of the elevation of Sierra Nevada and Haru felt it keenly.  Removing one of the paddles, he pulled off his cap and goggles, glancing at Rin in the next lane.

Rin was slow to remove his swim cap.  He tugged his goggles down to his throat, his chest heaving with breath.  Water dripped from his hair to his shoulders, his head tipped forward.

Haru felt a trace of alarm.  “…Rin?”  _You didn’t overdo it, right?_

Rin lifted his head and Haru caught sight of Rin’s reddened face and the moisture welling in scarlet eyes.

 _Oh_.  Haru tugged off the other paddle, setting everything on the edge of the pool before he ducked under the line into Rin’s lane. 

Rin was biting his lower lip, as if it was the only thing he could do to keep himself together.  When Haru reached out, Rin’s face crumpled—  Then Rin was in his arms. 

Haru wrapped both arms around Rin’s waist.  Rin was shaking, his face buried in Haru’s neck as his breath came in short, irregular bursts.  Haru kissed Rin’s left ear through tangled strands of ruby hair, inhaling the familiar scent of chlorine and ignoring the odd traces of sunscreen and insect repellent.  His heart was _full_.  Haru didn’t doubt their dream—that first terrifying twenty-four hours after his injury was the only time he’d been afraid of losing everything.  But, for the last two weeks, there’d been distance, effort, and strain.  Now, their dream felt real again—as real as the warm tears falling on his skin and Rin’s fingertips digging into his shoulders.  He felt it in a tide of deep, indwelling calm, while he knew the emotional release was what Rin needed.

Coach Fujino cleared his throat lightly.  “Don’t forget to cool down, you two.”  He left them, smiling as he headed off with Haru’s trainer.

Haru glanced around.  There was no one else _too_ nearby…  He slipped his hands into Rin’s hair, coaxing gently.

Rin lifted his tear-stained face, meeting Haru’s gaze with raw eyes. 

Haru brushed the tear trails from Rin’s cheeks with his thumbs.  He leaned in for Rin’s lips—for one light peck and then another, waiting silently. 

Rin relaxed against him, his arms softening around Haru’s shoulders.

Haru drew Rin in for another kiss, a pleasant shiver running through him as Rin kissed him back.  He stepped forward, pushing off the bottom with his feet—  Rin went weightless in his arms, the two of them sinking underwater, their mouths slowly melding.  It wasn’t like the time Rin surprised him with a peck on the lips in the pool at the Japan Open.  This languid water kiss with hands tangled in each other’s hair…was nice.  _Really nice._   If they got caught, Haru wouldn’t have a good excuse.

When Rin shoved him lightly, Haru let go, both of them coming up for air.

“You’re trying to drown me in a meter and a half of water, Haru?”  Rin swept wet hair from his face, his gaze warm.

“Just helping with breath practice,” Haru said.

“ _Tch._ ”  Rin grinned.

Haru settled his hands on Rin’s waist, his thumbs brushing across firm external obliques.  “Cool down before we hit the showers?”  He kissed the tip of Rin’s nose.

Rin’s smile turned rueful.  “The cold showers, you mean.”

Haru sighed.  “Yup.”

-x-

After a late lunch per their adjusted schedule, they had a brief rest period.  Haru reverently took his Rio jammers off the hanger in the locker room.  He worked them on, minding the thin, delicate fabric.  Rin—in a T-shirt and shorts—sat on the bench nearby, watching, which would be a problem if not for their frigid showers earlier…

Minutes later, Haru had the skintight suit in place.  It felt _perfect_.  He studied his reflection in the full-length mirror quietly, taking in the arcs of gold, the ribbons of _sakura_ petals and blossoms, the _JAPAN_ logo and flag. 

Rin got up, clearing his throat.  “Try the jacket, too.”

Haru let Rin help him into the white warmup jacket with the _sakura_ shoulders and collar.  “Rin,” he whispered, his voice hushed with awe.

“Yeah,” Rin said, slipping his hands under the jacket and hugging him from behind.  He pressed his face into Haru’s hair.

Haru smiled, resting his hands over Rin’s at his waist.  _We’re days from Rio._   After a year apart, months of training and international competitions…  _We’re really doing this together._

Rin’s arms tightened.  He sniffed hard.

“ _Oi_.  Don’t cry on my jacket.”

“I’m _not_ crying.” 

Haru leaned back against Rin, blissfully happy.


	27. A glimpse of water and dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to DestiniesEntwined for help with the Portuguese! ♥

* * *

Monday, July 25th, 2016

* * *

Haru waited as Rin tore the last strip of tape with his teeth, smoothing it into place. 

“How’s that?”

He tested the joint, opening and closing his hand a few times.  “It’s good.”  They were sitting together on the bed in their Team Japan T-shirts and warmup pants.

When Rin got quiet, Haru lifted his gaze, meeting the pensive look on his lover’s face.

“Yesterday didn’t make it worse?” Rin asked.  His eyes were guarded, afraid to hope—

Haru shook his head.  “No.”  _It really didn’t, Rin._   _Our practice, our races together—it was fine._

Rin exhaled heavily.  He tossed the roll of tape into Haru’s open gear bag and slumped onto his side, across Haru’s lap.

Haru ran his fingers slowly through Rin’s hair, feeling Rin relax.  He worked his hands down the back of Rin’s neck, massaging the pressure points to either side of Rin’s spine.  _You’re still tense, though not as bad as you have been._   Rin closed his eyes, a small sound emanating from his throat.  He pushed back into Haru’s touch.

Haru smiled to himself.  It was satisfying—every time Rin let him help, these little moments of _normal_.  He continued his efforts, feeling the knots in Rin’s muscles start to unwind.

At length, Rin rolled onto his back, his head pillowed by Haru’s thigh.  He caught Haru’s hand, kissing his palm and the inside of his taped wrist.

Haru savored the contact, drawing a slow breath.

Rin’s eyes warmed.  “You wanna head down?”

 _Not really._   They were due for breakfast, but…  _I’d rather stay here with you._   It wasn’t an option, though, not with their schedule.  Haru nodded towards his black sketchbook, beside his gear bag on the foot of the bed.  “I need to scan stuff today so I can turn in my assignments.”

“Mm.  The business center downstairs?”

“Yeah.”

Rin laced their fingers together, smiling faintly.  “Did you finish that picture of Málaga?  You said you’d show me.”

“When it’s finished, Rin,” he said.

Rin arched a brow.  “It’s not done?”

“Just the sketch.  I’m painting next semester.”  He wasn’t satisfied with the way it looked in monochromatic charcoal.  _You like my paintings best._

“Ah.”  Rin’s eyes brightened with amusement.  “Alright, Haru.  I’ll wait.”  He sat up, catching Haru’s lips on the way.  “You don’t want help then.”

Haru leaned in for another kiss.  “I got this part.”  They lingered the second time, their lips fitting together just right, the kiss velvet soft.

“…OK,” Rin said, when they eventually parted.

-x-

They left their gear bags behind when they headed down to the lobby.  Haru had his sketchbook tucked beneath his arm; he held Rin’s hand as they shared the elevator with other hotel guests.  He liked making their bracelets touch.  Rin, when he noticed, rolled his eyes and smiled.

On the first floor, the elevator emptied out.  Haru and Rin were the last ones to leave, starting to turn in opposite directions.  Even though it was just for a couple minutes and he wanted to do this by himself, Haru was slow to let go of Rin’s hand.

Rin smirked.  “Can’t miss me for five minutes, huh?”  He squeezed Haru’s fingers.

Haru shook his head.

“Matsuoka.”

Rin’s face smoothed at the sound of Takara’s voice.  His fingers flexed against Haru’s, though he didn’t let go as she came over from the seating area in the lobby.

Takara wore the same T-shirt and warmup pants as they did, her long black hair falling loose around her shoulders.  Her face was hard, but her gaze lacked venom and by the circles beneath her eyes, Haru could tell she hadn’t been sleeping well.  She and Rin had managed to avoid speaking to each other for the past two days.  Haru hadn’t intervened; Makoto would’ve but Haru didn’t see any point wasting the effort with two people who needed time to cool off.

Takara stopped in front of them, her eyes flicking to Haru’s wrist before she looked Rin in the face.  Her lips thinned into a line; she inhaled through her nose and Haru felt Rin brace through their clasped hands— 

The tension in the air popped like a soap bubble.  “Sorry,” Takara said, a pink flush coming into her cheeks.  Everything about her softened for a rare moment.  “For what I said.”

Rin’s grip loosened on Haru’s hand.  He let out a breath.  “Ah.”

Haru felt a wave of relief.

Takara gathered herself with a shake, flicking black hair over her shoulder.  “Look, I don’t know all the details, but two things.”  She glared at them with eyes that glistened in the lobby lighting.  “You—” she pointed at Haru, “—hurry up and get better.  And you—” she pointed at Rin, “—snap out of whatever crappy mood you’re in.  The whole team’s weird without the two of you and I don’t like it.”  She propped her hand on her hip.  “You both got that?”

Haru inhaled.  “Takara…”

Takara’s face reddened.  “Not another word, Haruka,” she said, her voice tight.

 _Because you don’t like getting emotional?_ Haru smiled inwardly, saying nothing.

Rin relaxed the rest of the way, his thumb running across Haru’s as he adjusted his grasp.  “Hai,” he said.

“Hmph.”  Takara pressed her lips, irritation replacing the moisture in her eyes.  “One more thing, Wonder Twins…”  She pulled her phone out of her pocket, unlocked it, and shoved the device in their faces.  “What the hell is this?” 

Rin coughed lightly.

“It’s our swimsuit ad,” Haru said.

Takara snorted.  “I can see that.  What’s it doing on a _billboard_ in Shibuya?”

Haru shrugged.  “They didn’t ask us.”

“Jealous, Sakamoto?” Rin asked, letting go of Haru’s hand to slide his arm around Haru’s shoulders instead.

_That wasn’t subtle at all, Rin._

Takara’s eyes flashed fire in Rin’s direction.  “Of course I’m jealous.  We all want contracts and you’re hogging the spotlight.”

Haru drew a breath.  “I only did it in exchange for—”

“Like that makes it better, Haruka.  You getting a photo shoot because you whined in France.”

“ _Oi_.”  Rin frowned.

“I did kind of whine in France,” Haru said, glancing at Rin.

“ _Tch_.”

The elevator opened behind them—

Haru caught a flash of orange hair before Rin pulled him aside, out of the way.

“Rin-senpai!  Nanase-senpai!”  Momo came bounding out with his brother on his heels.  Both wore Team Japan T-shirts and matching shorts.  “Sakamoto-senpai!”

Mikoshiba waved.  “Hey, Matsuoka, Nanase, Takara.”

Takara sighed, slipping her phone back into her pocket.  “Seijuurou, how is your brother this hyper before breakfast?  Did you forget to hide the coffee again?”

“Haha.”  Mikoshiba grinned, scratching his head.  “No, but—”

“It was with the socks today!”  Momo was beaming.

Takara rolled her eyes.

“So, breakfast?” Mikoshiba asked.

“Breakfast!”  Momo bounced in the direction of the restaurant.

Rin leaned close, his fingers brushing pseudo-casually through Haru’s hair.  “I’ll save you a seat,” he murmured and kissed Haru’s cheek.

Over Rin’s shoulder, Haru watched Takara’s face go white.  _I know you’re just doing it because she’s here._ The smug look in scarlet eyes was obvious.

“Thanks, Rin.”  Haru caught Rin’s chin in his fingers, kissing his boyfriend on the lips.  Rin pulled away, his eyes going wide and his face reddening.  Haru gave him a pointed look.  _Don’t be a dick about it._

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, blushing crimson to the tips of his ears. 

Takara smirked.  “Come on, Matsuoka.  Pick yourself off the floor and let’s eat.”  Her hair swayed as she headed off, reflecting the light.

Rin scowled, turning to follow.

Haru smiled to himself as he went the other direction, clutching his sketchbook. 

In the hotel’s business center, Haru figured out the computer and scanner and got to work.  He had more than a dozen sketches to turn in, all drawn since April.  The Málaga beach sunset was the only one Rin knew about.  _I think_.  Haru opened his sketchbook to the first drawing—it was the brick plaza on the Koutei campus, lined with _sakura_ trees, with cherry blossoms falling in the rain—and positioned the page on the flatbed scanner.  Once he had a good scan of that picture, he turned the page.  The next sketch was the Tokyo skyline at night, as seen from their lounge at the NTC.  Rin might’ve seen this one.  _I fell asleep drawing this, waiting for you to get back._ He remembered the goodnight kiss that followed, the dare he never expected—or hoped—Rin would take seriously.  _Before I ever realized I loved you._   That kiss had been the first of five, back when they were counting.  The memories of those days—by turns sweet and turbulent—lingered as Haru scanned the page.  He worked through his sketchbook, one drawing at a time, digitizing Barceloneta Beach…the Sierra Nevada track amidst the clouds…and sketches from Phoenix, Flagstaff, Vichy, and Bergen.  He had two drawings from Málaga—the beach at sunset and the waves in the moonlight, as viewed from their hotel room. 

The door opened as Haru was scanning the second Málaga sketch.

“Nanase-kun.”  Their sponsor rep, Iwata, wore black slacks and a white button-down shirt.  “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Iwata-san.”  Haru dipped his head.  The scanner hummed as it worked its way across his sketch.

“About Wednesday’s interview…”

 _Oh, that._   Haru pressed his lips.  “Hai.” 

“Tsuchiya-san asked me to check with you.  The reporter is from a local Japanese newspaper—”

“Local?” Haru asked.

Iwata nodded.  “There’s a large Japanese-Brazilian community here in São Paulo—over half a million people.”

_No wonder the sushi’s so good…_

“So you can expect more general questions—not the same type you’re used to with the professional sports press.  Though, they’re still likely to ask about your wrist.  It’s your choice whether you participate or not.  Tsuchiya-san doesn’t want you in this situation unless you’re comfortable with it.”

The scanner finished.  Haru withdrew his sketchbook and turned the page.  The last sketch was of their tangled hands atop Haru’s shark plush, with an ice pack on top of his wrist.  “I don’t mind,” he said, resetting the scanner for the new capture.  _But Rin might._   They had yet to go a full day without Haru’s wrist being a major consideration and topic of conversation.  “Would Rin also…?”

“You’d be alongside Captain Ikehara and Ozawa-san for this interview, by previous arrangement.”

“…Ah.”  Haru couldn’t help but feel relieved. 

“It’s fine then, Nanase-kun?”

Haru nodded, glancing back at the rep.  “Hai.”

-x-

After breakfast, the team headed to the club.  Haru and Rin claimed their usual table, near the back, for clinic. 

Both of their phones buzzed as they sat down.  Rin got his out first, glancing at its screen.  “ _Tch,_ Gou.  It’s midnight at home.”

Haru slipped his phone from his pocket, the text message addressed to both of them.

 _[Onii-chan, Haruka-nii-san, your muscles look fabulous!!]_   There was a pic attached—the same one Takara had—of the billboard in the neon glow of Shibuya at night.  _[But why the jackets?  You’d sell more clothes if you took them off!]_

Haru set his phone on the table.  “I think your sister would get along with Director Kaya and Haseda-san.”

Rin eyed him askance.  “Don’t give her any ideas.”

Their phones buzzed again, in unison.

 _[Oooh, Haru-chan, Rin-chan, looking sexy.]_   Nagisa added a winking emoji.

Rin grimaced.  “Nagisa…”

_[Rei-chan, let’s get discovered and start a modeling career!]_

_[Nagisa-kun, I can’t believe you woke me up for this.  I need my beauty sleep.]_

_[Hehehe, Rei-kun, it’s so cute when you text me from the same bunk.]_

Haru arched a brow.  He and Rin shared a glance.

Rin texted back.  _[TMI, you guys.]_

_[Gah, Nagisa!!!]_

Haru smiled, Rin chuckling beside him.  It wasn’t hard to imagine Rei all red-faced and flustered—probably in purple butterfly pajamas—and Nagisa laughing as he tried to apologize.  The texts ended there and Haru felt a pang, missing his friends.

Rin reached over, brushing a stray bit of hair from his forehead.  Haru sighed, leaning into the brief touch.  He knew Rin understood the effort it took for him, being away from home like this, for this long.  The softness in Rin’s eyes said it all— _I get it.  I’m glad you’re here with me._

Haru let out a long breath, holding Rin’s gaze.  _Love you, Rin._

Rin smiled.

Coach Maekawa rapped her knuckles on the whiteboard at the front of the room.  “Seats, everyone.”

Haru turned off his phone, slipping the device back into his pocket.

Coach Fujino stepped forward when the room quieted.  “Just a few announcements, Olympians,” he said.  “We’re starting evening dryland tonight.  The session is eight to ten pm and we’ll be adjusting that later and later.  By this time next week, expect your sleep curfew to start at 1am and go to 11am, daily.”

Half of the room groaned.

Fujino smiled.  “At least in Rio, it won’t be dryland.  The practice pool is indoors.”

Haru perked up.  _Night swimming.  We’re good at that._ Until his wrist sprain, it was going really well— _practice hard, shower, tumble into bed…_   Those were easily his favorite nights in Sierra Nevada. 

“Speaking of Rio…  Tomorrow’s preview day.  The detailed schedule and what to bring are in your email.  We leave for the airport at 11am and get back after midnight.”  Coach Fujino clasped his hands behind him, rocking back on his heels.  “Then we’re back here on Wednesday for afternoon practice and night dryland.  Thursday, you have the afternoon off but we’re still doing dryland that night.”

There was a muffled sound of irritation, mostly from the drinking crowd. 

Fujino wore the smile of a patient parent.  “Questions, Olympians?”  When there were none, he nodded.  “Thirty minutes.”

Chairs scraped against the floor around them as their teammates started to file out of the room. 

Rin got up, running a hand through his hair before he gathered his gear bag.  “Ready?”

Haru nodded, getting to his feet.  “Ah.”

“I’ll walk you to the—”

“ _Bom dia,_ Nanase-kun!”  Kasai, his athletic trainer, waved energetically from the doorway.  “ _Como é seu pulso?”_   She had her smiley-face pain chart in hand.

Haru slowly pushed in his chair.  The speed and enthusiasm with which Kasai did everything made him instantly tired. 

Chuckling, Rin got his gear bag for him, slipping the strap onto his shoulder.  His hand slid across Haru’s back, warm through his jacket and T-shirt.  “See you after, Haru.”

Haru clutched the strap of his bag.  “Hai.”

-x-

The day proved busy.  After a full session with Kasai—and her non-stop chattering, half of which was now in Portuguese—Haru was again in the 25m pool for paddle drills with Coach Fujino.  Rin joined partway through.  They hit up the sushi place for lunch with their teammates, then retreated to a shady spot in the grass—with leaves rustling in the trees overhead—to nap in the heat of the day.  Then they were back in the pool—with Coach Akagi this time.  Dinner and night dryland was all a blur.  Haru was exhausted by the time they were back at the hotel, undressing each other and climbing into the shower in their square legs.

Rin was even more tired, barely uttering a grunt as Haru ran soapy hands across his back, trying to scrub the scent of the insect repellent from his skin.  The stupid smell never completely came off, much to Haru’s irritation.

“Na, Haru.”

Haru paused with his hands on Rin’s shoulders, his thumbs poised to either side of Rin’s spine.  “Hm?”  The warm spray from the shower gently pelted Haru’s back.

“You’re gonna be OK tomorrow?”

Rin wasn’t asking about his wrist.  Haru blinked, watching the clean, filtered water drip from Rin’s hair and run across his hands—the water he’d taken for granted all his life.  “Yeah,” he murmured, sliding his arms around Rin’s waist.  “You’ll be there, so…”  He leaned his forehead against the back of Rin’s neck.  He didn’t know what he’d see tomorrow—if Coach Fujino wasn’t kidding about how busy they’d be, maybe nothing.  But Rin was right, he’d be thinking about the water, regardless.

Rin turned in his arms; Haru lifted his head.  The fatigue in Rin’s eyes was obvious, though Haru saw concern, too.  Gentle fingers tangled into his hair and Haru sighed, letting his eyelids fall, feeling Rin’s breath against his lips…  The kiss was sweet, the water running down their faces.  Haru pulled Rin closer.  They lingered in the shower with their mouths melding slowly, holding each other.

At length, they came up for air, catching their breath with their foreheads resting together. 

“Bed?” Rin asked, nuzzling his cheek.

“Yeah,” Haru whispered. 

They towel dried, changing into their underwear and climbing between the sheets.  It was still a blissful novelty—curling up in the center of the bed and not having to worry about rolling over and falling off…or getting an elbow or knee stuck in the divide between the beds.

They kissed more in the dark, Haru enjoying the familiar weight of Rin pressing him into the sheets and how nice it felt with their legs tangled together.  He knew they were both exhausted—and there was the rule to consider—but he couldn’t get enough of being intimate with Rin like this.  No matter what he encountered tomorrow, he knew he could handle it with Rin beside him. 

Haru rolled them over, the kiss breaking as he settled across Rin’s thighs.  Rin’s hands fell to his waist, the planes of Rin’s body gilded with the ice blue glow from the bedside clock.  Haru laced his fingers into the damp strands of Rin’s hair, bringing their faces close.

“Rin, I don’t want you to worry about me tomorrow,” Haru said.  “Your dream…”  _I don’t want to drag you down._

Rin’s eyes softened.  “Dummy.”  His arms circled Haru’s back, pulling him down comfortably on top.  Rin brushed their lips together.  “We can do both.  There’s enough time to be excited together and upset together, too.”  Rin smiled, his eyes warm.  “It’s a package deal, Haru.”

Haru’s breath hitched.  “Rin…”  His heart thrilled within him and he sank against Rin’s mouth, kissing his lover deeply.  It was all he wanted in the world—sharing those parts of himself with Rin…and Rin doing the same. 

 _Well…_   Haru felt it with his whole body when Rin made a quiet sound beneath him.  _Right now fewer clothes would be nice, too…_

They broke apart before things got too heated, lying side-by-side on their backs, just holding hands.

Rin cleared his throat.  “Haru?”

“Hm?”  Haru had his eyes closed, feeling his heartbeat gradually return to normal.

“We’re not doing the rule for the World Cup.”

Haru smiled.

“I mean, maybe for the days we’re _actually_ swimming, but…”

“Yeah,” Haru said, squeezing Rin’s hand.

* * *

Tuesday, July 26th, 2016

* * *

Haru fastened two of the buttons on the white polo shirt, leaving the top button undone.  He was already wearing the light gray slacks and white dress shoes.  The navy-blue blazer, with faint white stripes and the JOC logo—the Japanese flag above the Olympic rings on the left breast pocket—was the last article.  Standing in front of the closet’s full-length mirror doors, Haru shrugged into the jacket, smoothing the lapels into place.  He sensed the shark circling nearby, waiting to strike—

Haru lowered his hands…and Rin slipped out of the bathroom, tackling him from behind.

“Haru.”  Rin’s eyes gleamed over Haru’s left shoulder, openly perusing him head-to-toe via the mirror.

“Nn…”  Haru tugged on one sleeve of the blazer.  “It’s supposed to be warm in Rio.”  Not to mention the tight jacket wouldn’t be comfortable for the airplane—even for a short hour-long flight.

Rin chuckled, nipping the side of Haru’s neck, just beneath the collar of the polo shirt.  “Take it off then.”  He moved away, grabbing his own blazer off the bed and putting it on. 

 _Mm…_  Haru eyed his lover.  _I like matching._

Rin noticed and grinned.  He ran fingers through his hair as Haru watched, freeing the strands from his collar.

 _You’re doing it slow on purpose._ Haru turned from the mirror, catching Rin around the waist and slipping his hands beneath jacket and polo shirt to the warmth of Rin’s back.  He kissed Rin on the lips, loving the quiet sound Rin made in his throat and the arms that circled his shoulders.  Lengthy seconds ticked by with sighs and the gentle brush of hands…

Rin broke the kiss first.  “We’re gonna be late.”

Haru grunted his protest as Rin pulled away.  Rin grabbed his backpack and Haru’s messenger bag, handing over the latter.  Haru slipped the strap of the bag over his head, doublechecking his camera and gear for the pool.

“Come _on_ ,” Rin said, tugging on his arm.  “You already know it’s all in there.”  Rin’s face was alight with eagerness and impatience.

Haru relented, a warm glow in his heart as he soaked up Rin’s excitement.  Rin had his hand, gripping tightly as they headed out the door.

-x-

It was only a twenty-minute drive to the domestic airport in the heart of São Paulo; not long after, the members of Team Japan and their support staff occupied several rows in the back of a Gol B737-800.  There was an excited buzz as the plane pushed back from the gate, safety information broadcast over the PA in Portuguese while the engines started.  Haru had a window seat on the right side of the aircraft behind the wing, his blazer folded in his lap and his fingers entwined with Rin’s.  Captain Ikehara was sitting with them on the aisle, a book in his lap.  Momo was a few rows away, but Haru could still hear the kid’s animated chatter—a running narration of what he saw out the window.

The aircraft taxied to the runway and departed to the northwest, lifting off into clear skies and making a slow arc over São Paulo towards the coast.  The city gave way to emerald hills and blue-green sea, dotted with inlets and small islands.  The water looked beautiful.  Haru knew from research, and from resources Director Kaya had emailed, that water concerns in Brazil weren’t limited to Rio and that economic, social, and political factors added complexity to what seemed like a straight-forward problem.  _I don’t know what I can do about it._   Director Kaya hadn’t yet explained what she had in mind for Rio.  In correspondence, she just told him to keep his eyes open and not become discouraged.

Rin leaned over halfway through the flight, resting his chin on Haru’s left shoulder.  He didn’t say anything, his thumb stroking gently across Haru’s as they looked out the window together.

Haru felt a wave of guilt, despite what Rin said last night.  _You’ve had this Olympic dream forever.  I don’t want to ruin this for you.  Or distract you._

When Rin sighed softly, Haru heard the weight in the sound. 

He turned from the window, following Rin’s gaze to the blazer folded in his lap, to the Japanese flag and Olympic rings on the pocket…and realized he’d been worrying about the wrong thing.  Today wasn’t a stroll through the park for Rin either—living the dream his father never achieved had to be churning a plethora of conflicting emotions to the surface, not to mention memories. 

“Rin?” Haru asked, using his free hand to tuck errant ruby strands behind Rin’s ear.

“Hm?” Rin lifted his head abruptly, as if startled from his thoughts.  Then his eyes clouded; his smile rueful.  “You noticed, huh?”

“Sorry it took me this long,” Haru said, resting his palm against the curve of Rin’s cheek.  “Last night—”

Rin shook his head.  “Nah.  It didn’t hit me until right now.”  He chuckled, though the sound lacked real mirth.  “I’ve got some sense of timing, huh?”

 _It’s OK, Rin.  To be feeling these things._ “It’d probably be strange if it didn’t come up.”

“I guess,” Rin said, exhaling.  He squeezed Haru’s hand.  “Haru, thanks.” 

“Yeah,” Haru whispered. 

There was a bit of haze over Rio as the airplane descended, making a long left turn over blue-gray water before landing to the south on a runway just off the bay.  Rio was on Haru’s right with tall buildings sparkling where the sun broke through the clouds and mountains capped with greenery in the distance.

They deplaned on the ramp; Rio was notably warmer than São Paulo with only a slight breeze.  Without checked luggage to wait on, the team passed through the airport swiftly, boarding a tour bus at the curb.  Their route from the _Aeroporto Santos Dumont_ took them on a highway adjacent to the water, with grassy medians and leafy foliage that gradually became palm trees and beaches.  The highway curved inland, Haru catching a sign for _Copacabana_ and _Barra_ before they entered a tunnel.  On the other side, the bus crept forward through traffic on the _Av. Princesa Isabel_ , the urban area replete with tall hotel buildings and restaurants.

The commotion started at the front of the bus, athletes peering over their seats with hushed exclamations.  “Look!”  “The banners!”  “It’s the beach volleyball arena.”

Haru stayed in his seat as the tour bus made a right turn, paralleling Copacabana Beach in front of a large, temporary structure draped with colorful Olympic banners.  The beach volleyball arena was several stories tall, surrounded by small tents and trailers.  Members of the team crowded onto the left side of the bus for a better view.

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin fended off Momo, who was trying to climb into his lap to get to the window.

“But I can’t _see_ , Rin-senpai!”

“Sit _down_ ,” Maekawa yelled from the front of the bus.  “You’ll be able to stretch your legs in a minute.”

Momo pouted, returning across the aisle to his seat with his brother.

Beyond the arena, the view opened to the Atlantic Ocean and the white sands of Copacabana Beach.  Haru looked out at shimmering water, at long waves crashing against the sand.  The beach was full of sunbathers and people playing in the ocean.

They passed other Olympic structures before reaching the south end of the beach, where the bus turned off the main road and stopped. 

Coach Maekawa stood up at the front of the bus, her hand resting on the back of her seat.  “Back here in fifteen minutes, buddy system, and _do not_ get in the water.  It’s forty-five minutes from here to the Olympic park, so be sure to use the restroom if you need it.  Questions?”

Otani raised her hand.  “Can we leave our stuff on the bus?”

“Yes, one of us will stay,” Maekawa said.  “Don’t take anything you might accidentally drop.  We’re not coming back here today.”

Haru took his camera from his messenger bag, looping the strap over his head and checking a few settings.

Their teammates began filing off the bus.

“Ready?” Rin asked, pulling out his sunglasses.

“Ah,” Haru said, grabbing his matching shades and getting up.  They left their jackets on the bus.

The air was warm and salty; it was slightly breezier here than it had been at the airport.  They crossed the street to the beach, following temporary walkways designated by low barriers, separating them from other Olympic construction—stands facing the water and a large view screen on an inflatable structure.

Mikoshiba and Takara were immediately on the edge of the walkway near the sand, peering out into the ocean and pointing at buoys and other landmarks.  The open water swim and triathlon events would be held here.

The beach was pristine, the water crystalline blue.  Haru stopped on the walkway, lifting his camera for a couple of shots.  _It doesn’t look like a place where even the sand can make people sick._   Rin had gone a little farther and Haru found him with the camera, standing with his hands in his pockets and the wind running through his hair and ruffling the collar of his polo shirt.  The pictures Haru took had the curve of the beach and the mountains in the background.

Their teammates ran around, looking at stuff and taking selfies.  Momo was hanging out with Sada, Otani, and Kawamura. 

Captain Ikehara came over as Ozawa, Konishi, and Koda headed down the walkway.  “Doing OK, Nanase-kun?”

“Hai,” Haru said, lowering his camera.

Ikehara smiled gently and walked on.

Haru quietly joined Rin.  A few seconds passed with the sound of the waves and the crowds as they looked out at the water, Haru seeing his own ghosts and Rin’s, too.  When Rin nudged his hand in a wordless request, Haru wove their fingers together, feeling it instantly—the strength and comfort they gave to each other.

-x-

By some miracle, they all made it back to the bus within a few minutes of the set time.  Rin took the window seat, Haru putting away his camera before sitting down.  As soon as he settled back, he had Rin’s hand again.

“It’s OK if I fall asleep on you?” Haru asked, resting his head on Rin’s shoulder.

“Ah.”  Rin squeezed his fingers.  Lips brushed Haru’s brow and he closed his eyes…

Haru stirred when Rin woke him.

“Haru.”

“Nn.”  He straightened, rubbing his eyes.  The bus had stopped.

“You can leave your stuff here,” Coach Maekawa said, “but make sure you have your ID for check in.”

They filed off the bus in front of a large, white building with a colorful banner that read _Welcome Centre_.  The entrance was flanked by guards wearing camouflage and carrying rifles—it was the first time Haru had ever seen guns up close.  His gaze was drawn to the towers he could just see over the building—residential buildings with balconies, rising high above them.  The NTC’s Athlete’s Village was miniscule in comparison.

Haru and Rin followed their teammates inside, the place reminiscent of airport security except with bright pictures on the walls, tables of maps and brochures, and various stations.  After having their IDs verified by Rio officials and their photos taken, they each got a lanyard with their credentials. 

“Don’t lose these,” Coach Akagi said. 

Haru slipped the green Rio 2016 lanyard over his head.  The badge had his name and picture, his country, and proclaimed him an athlete.  There was also a barcode and a bunch of other letters, numbers, and symbols that probably meant something.  The knife and fork icon, though, he knew that meant food.

Once everyone had been processed, Coach Maekawa pointed them towards the door.  “Back on the bus.”

“We don’t get to explore the village now?” Otani asked, clutching a stack of glossy fliers and maps.

“Practice first,” Maekawa said.  “We’ll be back for lunch.  You’ll have free time then.”

A faint grumble from the larger group ended abruptly when Maekawa arched a brow.

The team climbed back onto the bus.  As they turned onto the main road, Haru caught a sign for the _Pq. Olímpico da Barra._   Minutes later, they were pulling up to a decorated entryway and security checkpoint with flags snapping in the breeze above the gate.

“Bring everything with you,” Coach Maekawa said from the front.  “We won’t be on the same bus later.”

Haru gathered his things, making sure he hadn’t dropped anything under the seat.  He followed his teammates off the bus, their group joined by officials in Rio 2016 polos and khakis.   

At the gate, they had their credentials scanned, their photos matched against their faces, and their bags screened.  Then, the officials let them through the gate and they were standing on Olympic grounds, surrounded by stadiums, flags, and banners.  Haru had never seen so many sports venues packed into one area.  The place was crowded with workers seeing to the final construction and preparations, as well as officials directing various activities.

Two officials led them past the velodrome, three large arenas, and an open-air plaza lined with food and drink vendors, with plenty of seating.  Haru saw the aquatic center from a distance, the rectangular structure draped in artwork of translucent waves.

Rin caught his hand and Haru felt it in the same moment—  _This is the place.  This is where I’ve wanted to swim with you—together, in front of the world._ He looked over, meeting the brightness in Rin’s eyes.  When Rin broke into a boyish grin, Haru couldn’t help smiling.  They joined their teammates, jogging towards the entrance—

They were shown to the locker rooms first, where they stashed their things.  Haru and Rin changed into their _sakura_ square legs and donned their Rio warmups.  The men’s locker room was a sea of white and _sakura_ jackets with black pants.  Coach Maekawa hadn’t explicitly said anything about debuting the clothes _today_.  _But we’re_ in _Rio…_   There were thumbs-up and grins flying around the room before they headed out to the hallway.

The women’s Rio warmup jackets had red for the torso and sleeves in place of the white.  Coach Maekawa, like the rest of the staff, wore JOC gear in fluorescent green.  Scanning the whole of the team—all of them in their _sakura_ Rio gear—she just sighed in resignation. 

“Upstairs, everyone,” she said, pointing.

The officials led them up into the stands and through an entryway—

There were gasps and excited squeals.  Haru’s breath caught as he stared out into a massive arena—eighteen _thousand_ seats in blue and green, brilliant white lights glowing from the scaffolding above, and the Olympic pool in the center.  The starting blocks were still covered in plastic, the brightly-colored lane lines stretching taut across the pool.  Lanes four and five were lined in yellow, with blue for the other lanes, and green for the outside lines on lanes one and eight, per FINA regulations.  There was still work going on, Haru noting a distinct lack of banners, signage, and sponsors’ logos.  But he could already imagine it—the cheering crowds, the coolness of the water, the shrill pulse of the whistle…

Rin was gripping his right hand so hard his fingers were starting to go numb.  Haru pulled his hand free, Rin giving him an apologetic look. 

Turning his back to the railing, Rin took out his phone.  “Haru, selfie.”

“OK.”  Haru plucked the phone from Rin’s hands, manipulating the camera.

Rin’s arms slid around his shoulders from behind, their heads close together.  Rin made a peace sign, grinning as Haru angled the phone to get the stadium in the background.  He snapped a couple of pictures.  When Rin kissed his cheek, squeezing him tight, Haru flicked over to video.

“Do that again.”

“Haru…”

“You wouldn’t do it now if you didn’t want a picture of it,” Haru said.

Rin seemed in too good of spirits to argue.  But when he leaned in, Haru turned his head, catching the kiss on the lips instead.

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin pulled away, blushing, and Haru chuckled.

He stopped the video and handed the phone back.

Rin flicked through the pictures and went even redder.  “You were _filming?_ ”

Haru gave his lover a spicy look that made Rin glare at him.

“ _Oi!_  Wonder Twins, let’s go!”  Takara yelled at them from the stairs as the team started to head down.

Haru grabbed Rin’s arm and tugged.

-x-

The practice pool was in a climate-controlled tent adjacent to the stadium.  It was a full-sized Olympic pool, all roped up and ready to go.  There were a few other delegations present and a small team doing interviews off to one side.  Only a couple of people were swimming.  Haru and Rin glanced at each other and stripped off their warmups, dumping their stuff on chairs and racing for the pool with caps and goggles in hand—

Ozawa caught Haru’s arm in passing.  “Nanase-kun.”

Haru frowned.  He didn’t need sunscreen or insect repellent indoors…

She smiled faintly and held up a roll of tape.  “Left hand.”

 _Oh._   Haru offered his wrist obediently, letting her tape it for him. 

“That OK?” she asked when finished.

Haru nodded.  “Hai.  Thank you, Ozawa-senpai.”

“Sure.” 

Rin was waiting near the block on lane six.  His gaze flicked to Haru’s wrist.

Haru ignored the look.  He put on his cap and goggles, climbing onto the block.  Bending for the start, he dove, slipping into the cool water and going to languid pulls of free.  His wrist felt fine. 

Moments later, Rin joined him in the lane.

Six hundred meters passed quickly, Haru losing himself in the silky texture of the water and sharing the lane with Rin.  There was a moment during each turn when their eyes locked—when Haru was pushing off the wall and Rin was just about to curl into the turn.  He read anxiety in Rin’s gaze at first, but it faded after their first hundred meters.  Instead, the warmth and thrill built with each turn until Haru touched the wall at the end.

He shifted to the side and popped up to catch his breath, pulling off his cap and goggles.  Rin finished just behind him, surfacing and grabbing one of the backstroke holds as he tugged his goggles down to his throat.

“Haru, it’s really…?”  Rin trailed off, his face clouding.

“I would’ve stopped if it hurt, Rin,” Haru said. 

Rin’s eyes gleamed.  He moved in, but the splash of water as Sada completed her warm ups next to them had him hesitating, his cheeks turning pink.

Haru smiled to himself.  _I’ll take the hug later, Rin._   He turned, grabbing the start block and hoisting himself out of the water.

Kasai was waiting for him, her black hair smoothed into a ponytail.  She wore a fluorescent green JOC polo shirt and black athletic pants.  “Nanase-kun, can I do a quick check?”

“Hai.”  Haru followed her off to the side, going through his range of motion checks. 

Her touch was clinical and brisk as she performed the exam.  “That’s not bothering you today?” she asked, with light pressure in key locations on his taped wrist.

Haru shook his head. 

“ _Ótimo!_ ”  She smiled broadly, releasing his hand.  “Back to it, then.”  Kasai headed off.  “Maekawa-sensei!” 

Haru returned to the block, stretching his cap over his damp hair. 

Rin was waiting, his cap tucked into the waistband of his square legs.  His gaze flicked from Haru to Kasai’s conversation with Coach Maekawa.  “What’s that about?”

Haru shrugged.  “Dunno.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin folded his arms.

Moments later, Maekawa joined them in a fluorescent green T-shirt and black warmup pants with her matching jacket tied around her waist.  She had a whistle, clipboard, and stopwatch.  “Sada, Furuta, Aoyama, Akamine, Higashi, Hirota, Matsuoka, and Nanase.  You’re with me, lanes six and seven.”

The eight of them gathered—four women and four men.

“We’re working the four-by-one hundred free today.  Four sets of five—building—on five minutes and I’ll be rotating the lineup.  Furuta and Higashi, you’re leading off.  Second is Aoyama and Hirota.  Third is Akamine and Nanase.  Anchors are Sada and Matsuoka.”

Haru inhaled.  Relay practice.  _Real_ relay practice.  Sure, there’d been mixed relay drills throughout, but he hadn’t gotten to swim with the _Rio_ team since training camp back at the NTC. 

“Women in lane six, men in lane seven.”  Maekawa lifted her whistle.  “Let’s go, leaving on the top.”  She paused.  “Matsuoka, you’ve got three minutes to pull it together.”

Haru glanced aside, meeting reddened eyes and Rin doing that thing with his face when he was trying not to get emotional. 

“…Hai,” Rin said, his voice rough. 

The relay-only guys stepped up to the block.  The shrill pulse of the whistle followed, along with a splash as the first two swimmers dove into the water.

Haru lingered, eyeing Rin.

Rin sniffed and brushed an arm quickly across his eyes.  He glared as he pulled on his cap.  “Shut up and get in line, Haru.”

Haru smiled to himself.  _Was my gaze too loud, Rin?_   He turned obediently, lining up behind Hirota—

Damp arms circled his shoulders fiercely.  Rin’s forehead rested against the back of his neck.

Haru lifted his hand to Rin’s arm and squeezed.  _You can’t cry and swim at the same time, Rin._   In the lane ahead of them, Higashi made the turn, smoothly building his speed as he came back towards the block where Hirota was waiting to complete the exchange.

Rin loosened his arms.  “Haru, give me your hand.”

“Hm?”  Haru glanced back over his shoulder, offering his right hand.

“Other one,” Rin said, his face still hardened and eyes still glaring.

Haru lifted his left hand…Rin caught it, dragging his hand close.  Lips pressed firmly to the tape and Haru’s stomach did a flip, warmth spreading through his chest.  _Rin…_

Rin exhaled, his eyes closed as he leaned his forehead against Haru’s wrist.

Hirota dove ahead of them.  Maekawa, on their left, cleared her throat.

“Rin,” Haru whispered, his voice thick.  He gently pulled away. 

Rin let him go.  His face was smooth, his eyes raw with love and desire and so many dreams.

Haru climbed onto the block with a racing heart.  He pressed his goggles into place, turning his attention to the swimmer in the lane in front of him while his heart was cradled in Rin’s hands and in Rin’s arms…

Haru dove when Hirota hit the wall, slipping into the water.  He dolphin-kicked smoothly, breaking through the surface and going to stroke...  He could feel Rin’s gaze.  Haru accelerated gradually, crossing the pool.  At the far end, he flip-turned and continued to build his speed…  Rin was on the block waiting for him—focused and ready with a gleam in his eyes behind tinted goggles.  Haru sailed through the water towards the wall, metering his strokes so he finished with his right hand—

Rin’s body shadowed him, the exchange clean.  Their eyes locked in that split-second, with Rin above him and the tile of the pool edge against Haru’s palm.  The sight took Haru’s breath away.  He couldn’t breathe until Rin had completely submerged, on his way down the lane.

Haru climbed out of the pool, staying near the block and propping his goggles on his forehead.  He slowly caught his breath, his heart still racing as he watched Rin flip into the turn and come up to a sprint for the back-fifty.  Rin only breathed twice, slapping the wall at the end.  Maekawa scribbled on her clipboard and turned towards Sada in lane six.

Haru moved forward, offering his hand.  “Rin.”

Rin gripped his hand, letting Haru pull him from the pool.  Neither of them let go.  Rin was breathing hard, his eyes bright and eager as he raked off his goggles with flourish, grinning.

Haru smiled, his gaze falling to Rin’s mouth.  _I’d kiss you if we were alone._

“Ugh, save it for later, Wonder Twins,” Takara muttered, passing them on her way to lane five.

Rin cocked a brow, glancing at her askance.  “Sakamoto, weren’t you the one, yesterday, who said—”

“I _said_ snap out of your funk, not make eyes at each other in the middle of practice.”  She had a hand perched on the hip of her _sakura_ one-piece, her goggles on her forehead.  “We don’t need the live version of your billboard either.”

“It’s a good thing the calendar isn’t out yet,” Haru said.

“Yup,” Rin said, his eyes flashing with amusement.

“The what?”

Coach Maekawa’s whistle sounded.  “On _five_ ,” she said, giving Haru and Rin a mild look. 

“Hai,” they said in unison and got back in line.

-x-

It was Haru’s first full set in weeks and he felt every meter of it by the time he climbed out of the pool after cooldown.  And, he was famished.  The cans of _saba_ stashed in his bag weren’t going to be enough.  Rin’s arm was draped across his shoulders as they headed back to the locker room, rinsing off in the communal showers with the rest of the men.  After donning their _sakura_ warmups, they were back out in Rio sunshine, passing around insect repellent as they waited for everyone to gather.

Haru eyed the food and drink booths in the nearby plaza.  They didn’t look open for business yet.

Coach Maekawa did a final headcount and conversed with the officials who’d rejoined them.  “We’re headed back to the bus,” she said.  “It’s lunch time.”

“Everyone should be wearing their badges…” Coach Akagi said.

Haru and Rin had theirs on already; it took a moment for Momo to dig his out of his bag.

They headed back to the main gate, boarding another tour bus.  The bus followed signs to the _Vila Olímpica_ , Haru could tell by the hushed gasps and exclamations of awe when the Village came into view.  The residential towers he’d glimpsed beyond the Welcome Centre spanned a kilometer, reaching into the sky with the mountains as a backdrop.  A few of the towers already had banners and flags draped from balconies, proclaiming the countries in residence.

The bus turned off the main road, dropping them off at a different guarded entrance than before—this one roughly halfway down the line of towers, near signs for the Village Plaza.  The team filed off the bus and there was a sudden, hushed silence as they took in the sheer immensity of the space—at least among the first-timers.  The veteran Olympians simply got in line at the checkpoint.

Haru tugged on Rin’s hand.

“Hm?” 

“I’m hungry,” Haru said, pulling Rin into line behind Ozawa and Koda.

Rin chuckled.

After another security screening, they were in the Village Plaza—a group of temporary structures housing all kinds of shops and services—everything from a dry-cleaner to a florist.

Coach Maekawa gathered them next to the information center.  “It’s five-thirty now…lunch and free-time is until eight-thirty.  Stay out of the towers--there’s still work going on; everything else is fair game.  Meet back here and _do not_ be late.”

After a chorus of ‘hai’s,’ Otani had her map out.  “The dining hall should be…”

“ _Restaurante_.”  Koda pointed to the sign and they headed off, leaving the plaza.

The path took them between several towers and into sprawling grounds with fresh sod, palm trees, fountains, pools, and winding paths.  The residential towers—each seventeen stories tall—lined the central grounds.  There were thirty-one in all, according to the map, with seven on the north side and twenty-four in a line that serpentined from the northeast to the southwest edge of the village.

Following the signs, they ended up with the massive dining hall tent on their left, just beyond the north-most towers.  The white half-cylindrical structure reminded Haru of old style airplane hangars.  Its length spanned more than four towers.

Inside, the room was full of long banks of tables and plastic chairs, with refrigerated beverage cases and signs in English and Portuguese directing them to food stations for different global cuisines.  The team grabbed red trays and scattered to various lines.  Haru pulled Rin along until he found fish.  He got two helpings, along with rice, salad, fruit, and some meat to make Rin happy.  Momo ran by with a tray full of pizza slices, his brother in hot pursuit.  Mikoshiba’s tray was laden with healthier options.

From the beverage case, they grabbed juice and milk.  Haru scanned the room for places to sit.  The dining hall wasn’t full by any means, but athletes from a handful of delegations took up some of the tables.

Rin gestured with a nod of his head.  “Haru.”

“Ah.”

They joined Captain Ikehara, Ozawa, and Koda at a table for twelve.

Ikehara smiled as Haru sat down across from him.  “Couldn’t find _saba_ , Nanase-kun?”

“Nn.  This is OK,” Haru said.

“He’s too hungry to search,” Rin said.

“If you can’t find it, they might have it at Japan House, but that’ll be outside the village.”  Ozawa broke the seal on a carton of orange juice. 

“You won’t go hungry here.”  Koda picked up his fork.  “Dining hall’s open all day, every day.  You can eat as much as you want, whenever you want.”

“So much for Momo’s diet,” Rin murmured. 

Haru’s mouth watered as he looked at the plates of food on his tray.  He pressed his palms together.  “ _Itadakimasu._ ”

“— _masu._ ”

They were several bites in when more of their teammates arrived.  Takara, Konishi, and Nakagawa dropped into seats next to Koda, while Mikoshiba sat next to Rin. 

Momo whimpered as he set down a tray that was now half-pizza and half-salad.  “But Nii-channnn…”

“Haha!”  Mikoshiba ruffled his brother’s hair.  “You want to impress Gou-kun with your swimming, don’t you?  Then you gotta eat right, Momotarou!”

Sada and Otani took the last two seats at the table.  “Who’s this Gou-kun I keep hearing about?” Sada asked.  She leaned back in her chair, brushing black hair from her eyes. 

Rin snorted.  “I told you to stop using my sister as a motivational device.”  He glared mildly at Mikoshiba.

“Ah.”  Sada elbowed Momo.  “Your crush, Squeaker?”

Momo pursed his lips, falling uncharacteristically silent.  “She likes Nii-chan more than me.”  He picked up a slice of pizza and started chewing sullenly.

“Ah haha…”  Mikoshiba blushed.

Takara rolled her eyes as she opened a carton of milk.  “It’s just picture swapping, sweetie.”

Momo stared across the table at Takara with his pizza slice clamped in his fingers, as if he’d just realized she was there.

Takara snorted.  “Seijuurou, what is it with him?  Every time—”

Haru cut another bite of fish with his fork.  “Maybe he still remembers the time you and Yamazaki were—”

Takara went red.  “Haruka, _shut up_.”

“—kissing.”

“Let’s change the subject,” Mikoshiba said.

“Hee.”  Momo grinned and happily chomped on his pizza slice.

“You don’t mean Todai pre-med Yamazaki?” Sada asked, picking up her fork and twirling it across her knuckles before stabbing a pasta shell.  “Made top ten in fly in the country, before the shoulder?”

Takara’s jaw flexed.  “What about him?” she asked, her voice measured. 

Sada shrugged.  “Nothing.  Kawamura’s mentioned him.  I got the impression he wasn’t attached.”

Takara’s eyes flashed with the first sparks of fire.  “How is it any of your business, Sada?”

Haru was glad he was on the other side of the table, in case things got ugly.  Beside him, Rin ate slowly, as if trying not to hear the conversation. 

Konishi plucked the milk carton out of Takara’s hand.  “I’ll just put this here…”  She placed the drink safely on the table’s surface.

“Didn’t say it was.”  Sada’s body language was open and easy, her voice equally casual.  “But, shit, that guy’s a ten even with the injury.  It’s hard not to notice.”

Takara went rigid, sucking air and moving like she’d get up—

“Taka-chan,” Ozawa’s voice was gentle.

A tense second passed before Takara settled back in her chair in a huff, glaring at Sada as she went back to eating.

Sada was unfazed by Takara’s outburst.  Maybe she was just making conversation, not particularly caring if she poked the bear in the process.  Or, it might’ve been their rivalry in the 200 free spilling over…Haru remembered bits of a conversation on the subject, back in Spain.  Rin had tensed a little, but he was breathing again, now that Takara had backed down. 

Sprinkles of chatter tentatively restarted…

Momo had gotten to the crust of his pizza slice.  “…Is Yamazaki-senpai your type, Sada-nee-chan?” he asked in a small voice, looking up at her.

“Nah, Squeaker.  He sounds intense.”  Sada smiled, mussing the kid’s orange hair.  “I like the carefree and fun ones.  Why aren’t you older?”

Momo blushed from his neck to his ears and melted into his chair.  Little, unintelligible squeaks came out of him.

“Well, he’s broken,” Rin muttered.

 _An older Momo?_   Haru arched a brow.  Together with the others at the table, he glanced at Momo…then at Mikoshiba.

Koda cleared his throat.  “Uh…”

Mikoshiba and Sada looked at each other over the top of Momo’s head.  “Nope,” they said in unison.

Their teammates chuckled.  Haru tried to imagine Momo in three years—with all his brother’s height and energy…and none of Mikoshiba’s responsibility or restraint.  _He’s gonna be trouble._

“Oh!”  Otani, at the far end of the table, lowered her juice carton.  “We didn’t save a seat for Kawamura-kun.”

“He’s fine,” Konishi said.

Haru followed her gaze, not surprised to see Kawamura several tables over, chatting with a group of women in dark blue warmups.

“First rule of the Athlete’s Village…”  Koda lifted his milk carton like a toast.  “What happens in the Athlete’s Village stays in the Athlete’s Village.”

“But _outside_ the Village, all bets are off,” Ozawa said, pursing her lips and stabbing a chunk of sausage with her fork. 

“Yumi-chan…”  Koda leaned against her shoulder, giving her puppy-dog eyes.  “You still haven’t forgiven me?  It was _only_ a kissy picture...”

Ozawa gathered herself with a long, controlled breath.  “I need desserts,” she said, getting up. 

“Ooh, desserts!”  Nakagawa popped up from the far end of the table, joining her.

“Yumi-channnn…”  Koda followed the ladies, groveling.

Rin paused in the midst of eating with a wary look on his face.

“Don’t worry, Matsuoka,” Captain Ikehara said, lifting a bowl of rice.  “It’s normal for those two.”

“If you’re ever around Yumi-senpai when she’s drunk, you’ll hear the whole story,” Konishi said.

 _Yep_.  Haru nodded.

“Ah.”  Rin traded his fork for his milk carton and sipped.  “Noted.”

“Speaking of stories…” Sada glanced down the table, Momo still a puddle at her side.  “Matsuoka, Nanase.  We haven’t heard yours yet.”

Rin coughed and sputtered, as if choking on his milk.

Mikoshiba slapped him on the back.  “Matsuoka, milk’s for drinking, not breathing!”

“Where’d you two meet?” Sada asked.

“They’re _childhood_ rivals,” Takara said, slicing into a piece of chicken.

Haru wiped his mouth on his napkin.  “Elementary school.”

Otani squealed from the opposite end of the table.  “That’s so cute!”

_I guess?_

“Wow.”  Sada arched an eyebrow.  “So you’ve already planned the wedding?”

“No,” Haru said.  _Though Nagisa and Rei had some good ideas._

Rin finally got himself under control, clutching a napkin and breathing carefully.  His face was as red as his hair, which Haru guessed was mostly embarrassment rather than a lack of air.

Konishi perched an elbow on the table as she pushed food around on her plate.  “Olympic proposals are a big deal, Captain Ikehara?”

“Oh yeah,” Ikehara said.  “Every time.”

Haru blinked.  _Olympic proposals…_

Rin glared at him.  “Don’t get any ideas, Haru.”

Haru smiled to himself, holding his lover’s gaze.  _The last thing you’d want is a giant, public production.  I know that, Rin._   He didn’t say anything, keeping his thoughts to himself as he turned back to his meal.  _You’d want something romantic and meaningful…just the two of us._

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin’s blush deepened.  He had to be dying, not knowing what Haru was thinking.

Haru gave him a spicy look.  _I’m not telling, Rin._

Rin’s eyes narrowed as he accepted the challenge.  _I can make you talk, Haru_ , that look said.

Haru smiled.

Just then, Ozawa, Nakagawa, and Koda returned with a tray full of desserts and Momo finally revived.

As plates were passed around and amiable chatter started up, Haru reached for Rin’s hand under the table.  He laced their fingers together, squeezing gently.

Rin exhaled, relaxing.  He smiled, squeezing back.

-x-

After their dinner-hour ‘lunch,’ Haru and Rin strolled across the village grounds, stealing a moment away from their teammates.  The sun was setting in the western skies, casting long shadows from the towers across the grass and fountains.  Several of their teammates crowded around the sculpture of the Olympic rings at the center of the park, taking selfies. 

Haru eyed the pools.  If Rin wouldn’t yell at him for swimming so soon after eating, he would’ve stripped and dove in.

“ _Tch_ , I guess you’re rubbing off on me,” Rin murmured.

“Hm?”  Haru glanced over.

Rin was looking down at their clasped hands.  “I was thinking this was nice, being quiet with you.”

“What’s wrong with being quiet?”

Rin smiled, tugging Haru close…  But he stopped, looking around.  “It’s not very private here, huh?”

Haru glanced up at the nearby towers with their windows and balconies…  He shrugged.  “I guess.”  _Not that it’s stopped us from kissing before._

“Na, Haru.”  The wind rustled Rin’s hair and warmup jacket.  “Our day off on Thursday…”  Rin paused, a rare, vulnerable look in his eyes.  “Will you go somewhere with me?”

Haru’s heart sped up a tick.  “…Like a date?”

Rin blushed.  “Yeah.”

Their last official date had been the aquarium in Barcelona.  Málaga didn’t quite count, though the memories surfaced regardless.  “Somewhere…” Haru whispered.

“I didn’t pick a place yet,” Rin said.  “I just...want it to be the two of us.”

Haru remembered it then—the promise he made to Rin in Sierra Nevada, when Rin’s mom sent the emails gathering digital dust in Rin’s inbox.  _Are you ready to see the pictures now, Rin?_ He tightened his hand around Rin’s.  “We can…take a walk together.”

Rin inhaled, his eyes gleaming; Haru knew he’d hit it.  “Yeah,” Rin whispered.

Haru stepped close.  “I’m going to hug you.”

“ _Damnit_ , Haru.  If you’re gonna, just do it—”

Haru wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist, pulling their bodies flush. 

Rin drew a breath and hugged him back fiercely.

-x-

It was half-past midnight when they got back to São Paulo, dumping their bags in the entryway of their hotel room.  Their clothes littered the floor en route to the shower.  Haru brushed his teeth afterward, turning off the lights as he came to bed.  Rin was already passed out, his damp hair fanned out against the pillow and the blankets pulled up to his shoulders. 

Haru smiled, sliding between the sheets.  He stretched out on his side, facing Rin, feeling the soft, regular breaths against his lips.  “ _Eu te amo, Rin_ ,” he whispered.

* * *

Thursday, July 28th, 2016

* * *

_The house was quiet when Haru stirred awake.  Pale moonlight filtered into Rin’s bedroom through open curtains, gilding the blankets and furniture with silver.  Haru was alone in the bed.  He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.  According to the clock on the nightstand, it was the middle of the night.  Haru scanned the empty room briefly—Rin’s desk, bookshelf, the posters of famous swimmers on the walls…  The door was slightly ajar._

_Maybe Rin just went to the bathroom._

_Haru dropped back down to the bed, tugging on the collar of the blue pajamas he’d borrowed.  He stared up at the ceiling, at a pattern of plastic glow-in-the-dark stars with a few sea creatures mixed in.  He liked the dolphin—mid-leap over a shooting star._

_When a few more minutes passed and Rin still wasn’t back, Haru got up.  At his house, if he snuck out of bed during the night, it was usually for saba.  Once, his mom caught him and made him brush his teeth again.  Now he kept a couple of cans in his bedroom, just in case._

_Haru crossed the carpet barefoot, pausing at the threshold and peering out into the hallway.  The doors to the other bedrooms were closed; Haru didn’t hear a peep coming from Gou’s room or Rin’s mom’s room at the end of the hall.  The bathroom door was open; the room dark—so Rin wasn’t taking a bath, either._

_Haru padded silently to the stairs; the banister was smooth beneath his palm as he crept down.  The lights were off, but the moon was bright, illuminating the entryway and the dining table in the main room, adjacent to the kitchen.  Haru was on the second-to-last step when he heard Rin’s voice in a whisper, coming from the tatami room on the other side of the wall._

_“Hey Dad, remember how I told you?”_

_Haru stopped where he was.  Gou was the one who first showed him the shrine.  Beside the incense burner, the medals, and a scrap of fishing net, Haru remembered a dolphin trophy and a glossy photo on a stand.  The man in the picture looked a lot like Rin and he was only Haru’s dad’s age—not old like Haru’s grandma was when she passed away._

_“We finally got to practice the relay together.  Today was the first time.”_

_Haru could feel the grain of the wooden banister against his hand.  It was firm and unyielding, not pliant and welcoming like the water had been.  Rin had badgered him for a month about the relay; he finally gave in…_

_“It was just like you said—that feeling, when you know you’re swimming with the best team out there.”  Rin’s voice was hushed, excited.  “There’s still a couple weeks until the tournament, but I know we’re gonna win.  When I’m swimming with him I feel like I can do anything.  I’m letting him anchor, since he only swims free—”_

_Haru’s eyes widened, his breath catching._

_“Dad, I wish you could see us.  I always wanted to swim like you or like the guys on TV, but with him…  He’s so good, Dad.  I’m gonna have to get really serious if I want to be as fast as him.  Every time I swim with him, I want to try harder, swim better.”_

_Haru’s fingers curled tight around the banister._

_“I think—the two of us together—we can do it all.  Relays, tournaments, even the Olympics.  I want to swim with him forever.”_

_Forever…  The word caught in Haru’s mind with visions of a pool as endless as the ocean, extending to the horizon and sparkling in the sun—  He saw Rin beside him on the blocks, grinning as they bent to start their race._

_“So you’ll be watching, right?”  Rin quieted, his voice breaking slightly.  “I miss you, Dad.”_

_The tatami mats creaked softly, then there were rapid slaps of bare feet against the floor—_

_A flurry of red hair and red pajamas rounded the wall at high speed; Haru didn’t even have time to brace._

_They went down against the stairs in a thud, Haru ending up with Rin in his arms and startled scarlet eyes staring into his._

_“Nanase,” Rin whispered and blushed hard._

_Haru started to answer, but they heard a noise upstairs and Rin’s hand covered his mouth—  They both looked at the ceiling, waiting.  Haru’s heart was thudding in his chest and he could feel how Rin was holding his breath—_

_When the noise stopped, Rin relaxed and let him go.  He sat up, laughing sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck.  “Ah…gomen.  I guess you heard all that?”_

_Haru’s face burned.  “I wasn’t trying to.”_

_“Ehh, it’s fine.”  Rin smiled, even though his cheeks were dark with color.  “Did I wake you up?”_

_“Mm.”  Haru pressed his lips.  “I…thought you were having midnight saba.”_

_Rin blinked.  “Midnight…”  He broke into a grin, chuckling.  “I bet we can find something.  Come on.”  Rin grabbed Haru’s hand, tugging him towards the kitchen._

_…Twenty minutes later, they had an empty can of saba and two pairs of chopsticks balanced on their knees._

_“Nanase, it’s OK, right?” Rin asked quietly.  They were sitting side-by-side on the counter, next to the kitchen window.  “Swimming together.”  Rin reached up to tuck a lock of crimson hair behind his ear, looking at Haru from the side._

_Haru inhaled.  “I only swim fr—”_

_His words were cut off by Rin’s lips—a brief, gentle touch.  Haru’s heart did a funny thing in his chest._

_Rin drew back, his smile as radiant as the sun and his cheeks pink.  “I know that.  I’ll always let you swim free.”_

_Haru exhaled slowly, his lips warm—tasting like Rin and saba.  The sweet glow he felt was familiar now—it happened every time he saw Rin smile or when Rin kissed him like that.  “…Ah,” he said and watched Rin’s face light up even more._

_His heart did that thing again._

…Haru opened his eyes as the dream faded back into memory.  Sunlight peeked around the edges of the curtains and Rin was pressed against him, still breathing rhythmically in sleep.  They shared a pillow, strands of burgundy hair tickling Haru’s cheek.  Haru carefully turned onto his side beneath the sheets, facing Rin.  The blankets were pulled up to Rin’s chin in the cool room, the air conditioning unit humming in the background.  Haru delicately tucked hair behind Rin’s ear, revealing eyelashes resting peacefully against Rin’s cheeks and slightly parted lips.  _We’ve come a long way from midnight saba, Rin._   Haru smiled to himself, watching his boyfriend for a moment more before sliding out of bed.

He drew a lukewarm bath with the door shut, donning his navy blue square legs and slipping off his wrist brace before sinking into the water.  Haru leaned back with a sigh of contentment, the warmth and wetness seeping into his skin.  With his eyes closed, he could imagine it just as easily as he could as a kid—the pool that spread out like the ocean, sparkling in a rosy sunrise.  The only thing different— _is us._   _We’re not kids anymore._   In Haru’s mind, he saw them as they were today— _standing together between the blocks on lanes four and five, in their gold and sakura tech suits and their Team Japan swim caps.  They were holding hands—Haru’s left nestled snuggly in Rin’s right and there was no brace, no tape, no pain—  Rin was smiling at him, the sunlight glistening off the goggles at his throat…_

_The wind brought cherry blossoms—thousands of them—scattering across the surface of the pool.  Rin’s face brightened with childlike delight and he was tugging Haru close…  Then there was the slap of tiny feet against the pool deck and young voices._

_“Dads, get in already!”_

_“Why are you stalling?  Hurry up!”_

_Little hands shoved them until they dove from the side.  Haru and Rin came up laughing, wiping water and sakura petals from their faces._

_Haru turned back in time to watch their kids climb up on the blocks, grinning as they settled their goggles into place.  “Ready, go—”_

_…Our kids._   The longing brought him back to reality, to his São Paulo bath.  Haru drew a breath and submerged.  _My dream was to swim with you.  You’re the one who added forever…and family._   There was so _much_ in his heart now.  _I didn’t think I would ever feel this way._ He didn’t know how his chest could even contain it all, how he could love Rin _this much…_ or how he could love kids who didn’t even exist yet, whose faces he’d never seen.  Every time he thought he found the edge of that love, there was _more_.  It flowed from the chambers of his heart into unknown future vistas, as endless as the _sakura_ pool of his imagination.

At the knock and the sound of the door opening, Haru sat up and shook the water from his hair.

“ _Tch_ , I figured.”  Rin was standing in the doorway in his underwear.  He stifled a yawn and wandered into the bathroom, dropping down to sit on the floor beside the tub.  Rin draped his arms over the side and Haru leaned close for his good morning kiss. 

He lingered against Rin’s lips, feeling the warmth that gathered in his heart.  _Just like when we were kids, only better._

“Mn.”  Rin smiled as they parted, burying his fingers in Haru’s wet hair.

Haru gasped softly, a pleasant shiver running down his spine.  Another kiss followed and Haru snaked his arms around Rin’s waist—

“ _Oi_.  You’re all wet.”  Rin pulled away.

Haru cocked a brow.  _So?  We hug in the water all the time._

Rin got up, grabbing a towel.  He dried off his arms and torso.  “Your interview’s posted.  Wanna see?”

“Nn.”  Haru lay back and closed his eyes.  “Not really.”

“Hmph.”  Rin’s footsteps retreated from the bathroom.

There was silence for a moment. 

Then—

“ _Konnichiwa!  I’m Joana Suzuki with the Nikkei Journal.  Earlier today, I had the opportunity to sit down with star members of the Japanese Olympic swim team, training here in São Paulo prior to their Rio debut later this week.”_

 _Nn…_   Haru sank further down into the water.

“ _Captain Ikehara, Ozawa-san, Nanase-kun, thanks for taking time from your busy practice schedule to chat with us.”_

 _“It’s our pleasure,”_ Captain Ikehara said.

“ _We’re grateful for the warm welcome we’ve received here in São Paulo,”_ Ozawa said.  _“With your hospitality, we’ve felt right at home, so it’s been easy for us to focus on our training_.”

“ _Ah.  Hai_ ,” Haru said.

Rin snickered from the bedroom.

 _Damnit._   Haru’s face heated.  He got up, climbing out of the tub and grabbing a towel.

Rin was sprawled across their bed in a tank top and his underwear, watching the interview on his tablet. 

Haru dried his hair, padding over to his suitcase for a fresh pair of boxer briefs.  The room was chilly with the air conditioning, so he stole his blue dolphin T-shirt from Rin’s bag and slipped it on.

_“I understand you’ve had to adjust your sleep schedule to prepare for the Games?”_

“ _That’s right_ ,” Ikehara said.  “ _Being twelve hours off is a challenge, but we’re slowly adjusting_.”

_“Ozawa-san, are you excited for your prospects in Rio?”_

_“Oh, absolutely.  The team is solid and we’ve done a lot to prepare over the past three months.  International competitions, high altitude training…we’re in the home stretch now.  We’ll definitely be ready.”_

_“Nanase-kun, we were sorry to hear about your injury.  How is your wrist?”_

Haru remembered how it felt, sitting in the plastic deck chair alongside Ikehara and Ozawa with the reporter seated across from them.  She had mahogany brown hair with amber highlights and wore a patterned blue dress.  The 50m pool was behind them.

“ _It’s good,”_ he heard himself say.  “ _I’ve been working with the trainers every day.”_

_“Then you’re still planning on all of your events in Rio?”_

_“Hai.”_

“Haru.”  The blankets shifted as Rin moved.

Haru turned, finding Rin sitting up with his arm outstretched.  Rin’s face was sober, the gesture more need than invitation.

Haru climbed onto the bed, kneeling and offering the left hand that Rin was reaching for. 

Rin cradled his hand, drawing it in as he closed his eyes.  The kiss was tender, Haru’s breath slowly leaving his lungs as Rin held Haru’s wrist against his cheek.

The interview continued—the reporter asking Captain Ikehara more questions, but Haru didn’t hear a word.

After a long moment, Rin opened his eyes, looking at Haru over the hand he still held gently.  “Same as yesterday?”

Like in Rio, Wednesday had been more freestyle relay drills.  Coach Fujino was slowly adding to the sets, though he and Kasai hadn’t yet given Haru clearance for race speeds…or the breathless fifty.

Haru nodded.  “It’s not worse.”

Rin’s eyes softened with relief.  He pulled Haru closer.

Haru welcomed Rin’s lips on his and warm fingers slipping into his damp hair.  When the kiss deepened, he moved in, planting his knees to either side of Rin’s hips.  He wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist, hugging his lover tightly.

Rin didn’t seem interested in coming up for air.  The kiss continued with slow pushes of tongue, Rin’s hands gliding down his back and sneaking under his T-shirt.  Rin’s palms against his skin sent an exquisite tremor through Haru’s body.

Haru groaned softly, curling his fingers into the fabric of Rin’s tank top—

The kiss broke eventually, but Rin only ducked his head, planting a chain of kisses across Haru’s jaw and down the column of his throat.

“Rin…” Haru whispered, as much in plea as in protest.  _I can’t take this._   His eyelids fell closed, his lashes fluttering as Rin lightly nipped the sensitive spot on the side of his neck.

Warm breath hit his skin, Rin dropping his forehead against Haru’s shoulder.  “I know I asked for this,” he mumbled.

Rin meant the rule.  Haru slowly caught his breath.  _I would’ve, if you hadn’t._ When Rin leaned away, he opened his eyes.

Rin’s face was clouded, his eyes a shade or two darker with conflict and desire. 

Haru loosened his grip, smoothing Rin’s tank top back into place and resting his hands on Rin’s shoulders.  “We can talk about it, but not like this.”

Rin sighed.  “I know.”  He withdrew his hands from Haru’s T-shirt, settling them on Haru’s hips.  “Nn…”  Rin scowled faintly, his thumbs prodding Haru’s hipbone in irritation.

 _It’s mutual, Rin.  Very, very mutual._   Haru smiled ruefully.

The interview was still playing on Rin’s tablet.

 _“Have you picked up any Portuguese so far?”_ the reporter asked.

 _“You’ll want to ask Nanase-kun that question,”_ Captain Ikehara said, chuckling.

“ _Boa tarde_.  _Meu nome_ _é Haruka Nanase,”_ Video-Haru said.  _“Eu só nado livre.”_

Rin snorted.  “Are you happy?  You finally said it during a real interview.”

“I’m practicing for Rio.”

“ _Tch._ ”  Rin smiled.

“ _Sugoi!  Você fala muito bem o português!”_   The reporter clapped excitedly.  “ _Last question, Olympians.  Thanks again for your time today.  Besides the obvious, anything you’re particularly looking forward to trying or seeing, here in Brazil?”_

 _Uh-oh._   Haru twisted in Rin’s arms, going for the tablet—

“Oh no, you don’t—” Rin shoved him aside, getting a hand on the device and holding it out of reach.

“ _Oi_ —”  Haru’s face heated.

 _“Oh, sightseeing for sure,”_ Captain Ikehara said.  _“My wife and daughter will be here for a few days at the end of the swimming events.  We plan on seeing as much as we can.”_

 _“I’d love to try samba!”_ Ozawa said.

 _“I want to try the saba, too!”_ Haru said.

“Rin—”  Haru lunged, but Rin got both hands on the tablet, keeping it at arm’s length.

Haru got to watch as his teammates laughed good-naturedly, Ozawa throwing an arm around his shoulders in a quick hug. 

 _“Sam-ba, Nanase-kun,”_ she said.  _“It’s a dance.”_

Interview-Haru looked bewildered, then his expression turned sheepish.  _“…Oh.”_

 _“Nanase-kun, I promise you will find excellent cavalla here in Brazil,”_ the reporter said.  _“It’s a very popular type of fish here and quite abundant off the coast.”_

Interview-Haru pressed his lips, slightly hunched forward.  _“…Hai.”_

Rin’s shoulders shook, like he was trying to contain himself.  Haru sat back, his cheeks hot.

The tablet dropped from Rin’s fingers to the bed and Rin’s chortle became a full-blown laugh.  “Haru, your face!”

“Nn.”  Haru exhaled through his nose.

“You were so…excited.  And…and then—”  Rin fell onto his side on top of the blankets, holding his stomach as he continued to laugh.  “You looked _so_ disappointed.”  He wiped his eyes.

Haru frowned.  “It sounded like she said—”

“Sa _m_ ba, Haru.  _Samba._   Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of it before.”

“Like you know anything about it,” Haru said, elbowing Rin in the ribs.

Rin grabbed the tablet again, rolling to sit up.  He tapped on the screen, still getting his laughter under control. 

The interview was replaced by a racing drum beat, accompanied by guitar, brass, and cheering before Rin scooted over with the video.  On the screen, a street band played in the midst of a crowd with men and women dancing.  

“Haru, _this_ is samba.”

It was, by turns, slow and ridiculously fast.  Haru leaned in, against Rin’s back.  _How do they move their feet like that?_   Kicking during freestyle was one thing, but like this, with patterns and speed…  It was mesmerizing.  They got absorbed in video after video, watching snippets from impromptu street dancing to _Carnaval_ to ballroom—

They ended up on an instructional video with an attractive couple teaching basic samba steps in English.  Rin got up, carrying the tablet to the mirror doors in front of the closet.

Haru watched as his lover stepped forward, shifted his weight with a quick march in place…and did the same thing in reverse, to a four-count.  “…What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like?” Rin asked, repeating the movement.  “It’s not hard if you slow it down.  Come try this.”

“Nn…”  Haru pursed his lips.

Rin glanced back over his shoulder.  “Well, if you don’t think you _can_ …”

He got up immediately, joining Rin in front of the mirrors. 

“Here, like this,” Rin restarted the video.

Haru watched for a moment and then tried it with slow, deliberate motions.  This part wasn’t too complicated.  _I guess it’s not bad…_

They repeated the moves a couple of times, mimicking the instructor in the video, both with counting and with music.

Then Rin tossed the tablet onto the bed and turned to face him.  “Ready?”

Haru blinked.  “For what?”

Rin grinned, grabbing his right hand like the couple in the video.

Haru frowned.  “Why am I doing the girl’s part?”

“Because you’re shorter.”  Rin placed his right hand on Haru’s left shoulder blade.  “Put your hand here.”  He wiggled his arm.

 _Nn_.  _I’m still growing._ Haru, under duress, laid his left arm along Rin’s.  When Rin pulled him close, his breath hitched involuntarily.  He didn’t expect to feel a thrill, simply holding each other like this.  Never mind the fact that they were trying to learn samba in their underwear and sleep shirts.

“Ready?” Rin asked.  He counted softly in English, “ _Five, six, seven, eight_ —”

They both stepped forward, stumbling into each other.

Rin laughed.  “Dummy, you step backwards.”

“I didn’t practice that part, Rin.”

“Right foot back, Haru.  Try again.”

He exhaled.

It went better the second time and after that, Haru felt like he had the hang of it.  Rin put the video back on and they tried it to the music, which was faster—

Another collision had them falling against the wall. 

Rin grinned.  “You’re clumsy on land.”

Haru glared back.  “ _You’re_ the one who stepped on my foot.”

They picked themselves up—

There was a thud from the floor and yelling in Portuguese—words Haru didn’t know.

Haru and Rin looked at each other and laughed. 

Rin hugged him.  “I guess we both suck.”

Haru smiled.  _You look like you had fun, though._  

“Wanna get dressed and go?”

“Yeah.”

-x-

The day was pleasantly cool, though Haru was still comfortable in a T-shirt.  He wore a blue V-neck shirt with waves on the front and black pants—clothes he didn’t mind dousing in insect repellent.  Rin’s T-shirt was dark gray and his pants were burgundy.  They both wore walking shoes.  _It’s less than four kilometers_ , Rin said.  Haru didn’t mind a stroll.  They followed a one-way street, lined with trees, shops, and apartment buildings.  Haru perused signs and storefronts, trying to make sense of the Portuguese.  The tall city buildings gradually gave way to a residential area with individual homes and an abundance of trees.  Parked cars lined the narrow street.

Rin squeezed his hand.  “Na, Haru.”

His wrist wasn’t taped or braced today.  It felt as good as he imagined—holding Rin’s hand without anything in the way.  “Hm?”  They passed a stop sign that read _PARE_ , turning right onto another tree-lined street.

Rin inhaled, hesitating, and Haru waited. 

“ _Gomen,_ ” Rin said finally, with a sigh.  “For earlier.  I didn’t mean for it to seem like I was going back on what we decided.”

Haru glanced aside, meeting the penitence in Rin’s gaze.  “I felt the same way, Rin.  You don’t need to apologize.”

“Nn…”  Rin raked a hand through his hair.  His cheeks were faintly pink.  “Still.”  He looked away. 

“It’s our decision,” Haru said.  _We made it, we can unmake it; though I don’t think that’s what you really want._

Rin pursed his lips, still gazing off into the distance.  “It’s been drilled into me for years—that discipline.  Back in Sydney, some of the guys would talk about screwing around and I always judged them.  They weren’t serious about competing—that’s what I thought.”

 _Sounds like you, Rin._   Haru didn’t let the brush of amusement show.  “Is that why you weren’t with anyone before me?”

“Mm…”  Rin’s blush deepened.  “Nah.  I mean, yeah, I guess, but…” Rin trailed off and Haru smiled to himself.

He couldn’t resist prodding.  “You’re contradicting yourself, Rin.”

“Shut up.”  Rin glared at him.  “Because I haven’t felt this way about anyone else.”

Haru’s breath caught.

“There.  Happy?  Making me say cheesy shit like that.”  Rin scowled.

“Yeah,” Haru whispered.  “I’m happy.”  His dream came back to him—the endless _sakura_ pool.  _I want to swim with you forever, Rin._  

Rin inhaled, meeting his gaze with startled eyes.  “Haru…”

Haru squeezed Rin’s fingers, stepping closer so that their arms and shirt-sleeves brushed as they walked.

Rin’s face softened, a smile warming his features.  “Dummy.”

Haru smiled.  “So?  You get it now.”

“ _Tch_.  What I don’t get is how people deal with this.”

“Most of the athletes probably aren’t rooming with their lover, Rin.”  Haru looked up at blue sky peeking through rustling leaves, high overhead.  “It’s not too late to switch it up for Rio.”

“That’s worse, Haru.  I told you already.”  Rin fell quiet and they walked a few steps in silence.  “Unless…  Do you want that?”

Haru shook his head.  “No.”

Rin sighed, his relief evident in the sound.

“After Rio, we can see what works and what doesn’t.  You know, figure out what’s best for us, timing-wise.”

Rin chuckled.  “Haru, are you suggesting we have a lot of sex and then go swimming?”

Haru flicked his eyes to Rin, askance.  _That’s exactly what I’m suggesting, Rin.  Experimental method.  We learned it in school._

Rin bit his lower lip and looked away.

“Maybe it’s overkill.  After Málaga, we did breathless fifties—”

Rin went stiff next to him, the mirth fading from their conversation.

“Still too soon?” Haru asked.

“Yeah.”  Rin’s face had clouded.

Haru exhaled softly.  “It’s OK to put swimming first, sometimes.”  _Especially when it’s your Olympic dream, Rin._ He hoped for Tokyo 2020, but it wasn’t like anything was certain.  “It’s not that long.”

“Ah.”  Rin let go of his hand, slinging an arm around Haru’s shoulders instead.  “Doesn’t make me want you naked any less, though.”  Lips found Haru’s cheek.

Haru soaked it up as Rin relaxed.  “It might be easier if we went back to counting kisses—water kisses, I mean.”

Rin’s steps slowed.  “Water kisses?”  He cocked a brow.  “You don’t mean when we kiss in the pool…  Or the shower.”

Haru shook his head.  “No, when it’s with—”

“ _That’s_ what you call it?”  Rin grinned, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Haru frowned, his face heating.  “Why?  What do you call it?”

“Ehh, it’s _pashing_ in Australia.”  Rin snickered.  “Water kissing…”  He nuzzled the side of Haru’s neck.  “Must be torture for you, Haru.  You want that off-limits until Rio’s over?”

“Nn.  I’d rather take cold showers.”

“OK,” Rin said, resting their heads together.  “Tell me if you change your mind.”

“Ah.”  Haru smiled.

-x-

After passing through another urban area, they came to the west edge of sprawling greenery, with tall trees behind a decorative fence and a road sign that read _Pq. Ibirapuera_ with an arrow.  They crossed the street to the sidewalk adjacent to the fence.  There was a forest of old trees on the other side; Haru couldn’t see very far.

“It’s a park?” he asked.

“Yeah.”  Rin tugged on his hand.  “Come on.”

They followed the fence as it curved north and then east with the road.  Here, the trees were spread out with blankets of grass between and Haru caught a glimpse of water.

“There’s a lake?”  He stopped against the fence, gazing at the tantalizing hint of water on the other side of the trees.  _You didn’t tell me to bring my swimsuit._

“It’s a lake with a fountain.  Like the one you tried to swim in, in Norway.”

Haru pressed his lips.  “You mean I can’t swim here.”

“Yeah…”  Rin rocked back on his heels, his face apologetic.  “I did that thing again, bringing you to water you can only look at.”

“Mn.”  _Guess it can’t be helped._ “I’ll manage.  How do we get in?”

“This way, I think.”

They came to the end of the trees, the lake spreading out in front of them with the fountain in its center, sending white arcs of water shooting into the air in different patterns.  _The water is dancing._   Haru’s steps slowed on the sidewalk as he watched.

Rin chuckled, draping an arm around his shoulders.  “You like it?” he whispered against Haru’s left ear.

Haru nodded, not looking away from the water.  _It’s pretty._

Eventually, Rin got him to move again.  They headed in through the gate, joining a paved path that went around the lake.  The road noise faded into the distance.  There were people biking and jogging; others strolled.  The park had more than one lake, though the only swimmers were flocks of white and black swans gliding through the water or flapping and calling to each other.  The glossy expanses of water reflected the sky—blue with the occasional cloud.

For a while, they wandered along the edge of the lake.  Haru took a few pictures with his phone—especially of the black swans—for things he might want to draw someday. 

Rin was engaged at first, but when he started to get quiet, Haru pulled himself away from the water, giving Rin his full attention.  Rin was a step back from the grass, watching with his hands in his pockets.  Rin’s face was unreadable, but Haru knew he was preparing mentally.  _I don’t know if it’s better or not, trying to psych yourself up for emotions you don’t want to feel._

“Wanna sit somewhere?” Haru asked, keeping his voice gentle.

Rin inhaled, determination coming into his eyes.  “Yeah, sure.”

“You pick,” Haru said.

Rin nodded, turning to study their surroundings for a moment, before heading off towards the trees.

Haru followed.

They ended up on a grassy slope off the trail, in view of the water and north of a giant compass rose made of miniature tiles.  Rin sat in the shade of a young tree and Haru sat next to him.  At the water’s edge, swans lazed about in the grass.

Rin exhaled hard, fishing his phone from his pocket.  Haru waited as he unlocked the device, his thumb hovering over the mail icon on the screen…  His resolve flickered like a candle’s flame, Haru watching Rin’s face cloud as the breeze ran through his hair.

Rin dropped his head with a sigh, holding out the phone.  “Haru, can you?”

Haru hesitated.  “You’re sure, Rin?”  _They’re emails from your mom._   It was about as personal as anything could be; lovers or not, it felt intrusive.

“Yeah.”  Rin hugged his knees to his chest with his right arm, resting his head on top.  “I want you to do it.”

“OK.”  Haru took the phone.  He accessed Rin’s inbox… _wow, you get more spam than I do._   Half of it was in English.

“I downloaded them already.  They’re flagged.”

“Ah.”  Haru found the unread messages.  There were three, all with attachment icons.  He scrolled to the message with the earliest date and looked at Rin.  

Rin met his gaze, the assent in his eyes.

Haru clicked on the message, the subject line _Sano SC._   It was addressed to Rin and Gou.

_[Honeys, here’s the first set of photos.  These are really old—from when you just learned how to swim!  Love, Mom.]_

Haru scrolled down to the photos.  He selected the first one—

A man with wet brown hair was grinning at the camera with a babe in each arm, waist deep in the pool.  Both kids had bright red hair and were clinging to their father; the only way Haru could tell them apart was by size and the color of their swimsuits.

“You’re wearing a swim diaper with sharks on it in this picture.”

Rin’s head popped up.  “I’m wearing _what_?”

Haru held out the phone.  “It’s cute, Rin.”

Rin’s face reddened.  “When I said pictures of us swimming together, this isn’t what I meant,” he muttered.

Haru watched as Rin’s gaze drifted to his dad.  He got quiet again.  When he leaned back, Haru scrolled to the next photo.

The set of pictures seemed to be from the same day—various shots of the kids playing in the pool with their father.  Haru lingered on a photo of Rin encased in puffy flotation devices, bobbing in the water and crying while his dad held Gou and drew him along by the hand.

“I don’t think you liked your first swimming lesson.”

“Shut up, Haru.”

The last photo was at Rin’s house.  Rin’s dad and both kids were passed out beside the _kotatsu_ in a nest of beach towels, still in their swimsuits.  Haru smiled at the picture.  _I like this one._   Rin leaned against Haru’s arm, saying nothing as he looked on, but Haru could hear the way Rin’s breath thickened and knew the stillness meant Rin was fighting the start of tears.

Haru selected the next message— _Sano SC Part 2._

_[Gou, you’re not in these, but I thought you’d still like to see them.]_

The first picture Haru scrolled to had Rin sniffing hard.  Rin was older in the picture—maybe eight?  He was standing by the pool with his hands on his hips and a big grin on his face.  He wore black and red swim briefs with a yellow cap tucked into the waist band, his goggles dangling from his wrist.  Rin’s dad was next to him in the exact same pose, in black leg skins with lines of gray, white, and red.  Just seeing Rin smile like that sent warmth spreading through Haru’s chest.  Rin looked so much like his dad—in the eyes, in the cocksure pose, even their teeth matched.  It wasn’t hard to imagine—in fifteen or twenty years, taking a picture just like this one with Rin in his father’s place.

Haru scrolled to the next picture…  This one had Rin and his dad up on the blocks in adjacent lanes, snapping the straps of their goggles in unison as they grinned at each other.  Rin’s breath hitched in a sob.  He slid behind Haru, his arms tightly circling Haru’s shoulders.  Rin pressed his face into Haru’s hair.

“Should I stop?” Haru asked.

Rin shook his head, not saying anything.

The next series of pictures had them grasping the blocks and diving together.  The last picture was Rin riding home on his father’s shoulders, with a towel on his head. 

Warm droplets fell on the back of Haru’s neck, Rin trembling against him.  Haru closed his eyes briefly, covering Rin’s right hand with his own.  _You needed this, Rin.  You’ve needed this for a long time._   Rin gripped his hand, breathing in quiet gasps.  The ache in Haru’s chest was a distant echo of the pain Rin had to be feeling.  Haru waited, letting Rin cry.  It was important to him, not disrupting or trying to rush this for Rin.  _You rarely let yourself do this._

Long moments passed before Rin calmed.  His breaths became measured, his arms loosening around Haru’s shoulders.  “It’s OK, Haru,” he murmured, his voice a little raw.  “You can…”

“OK.”  Haru squeezed Rin’s hand.

The subject line on the third email was _Sydney._

_[You kids probably don’t remember.  I do.  It was the first and last time we took you on a 9-hour flight anywhere.  Neither of you slept at all; you both fussed nearly the whole way there and back.]_

“I guess you’ve never been good on planes, Rin.”

“Nn.”

_[Rin, thanks for asking for these.  I put them away for a long time because I just couldn’t deal with the grief.  But it was good, even though I cried buckets.  I love you kids so much.]_

Rin drew a wavering breath, exhaling in a puff against Haru’s neck.

In the photo that followed, Rin, Gou, and both of their parents were decked out in Sydney 2000 Olympic T-shirts and carrying tiny Japanese flags.  Rin would’ve been three and a half during the games.  He was chubby-faced, clinging to his mom’s hand with a sunhat on his head that was a little too big.  Gou—with her hair in pigtails—was on her father’s shoulders.  The parents were grinning, waving at the camera, with the Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre in the background.

“You didn’t tell me you went,” Haru said.

“It’s not like I remember it, Haru.”

There were more pictures of the four of them at various Olympic venues and several of Rin with his dad, including a couple photos of them with Japanese swimmers, though no one Haru recognized.  Anyone could tell from the pictures how much Matsuoka Toraichi loved his kids.  _I know you’re not over it—the way your dad gave up his dream._ But the man in these photos adored his family; he didn’t look like someone with regrets.

Haru felt a wave of… _something_ , looking at this last set.  He probed the feeling gently, running over it with his mind.  It had been there for a while, he realized, in the background…this bit of emotion that was longing and jealousy.  He was cautious with it, not making comparisons because there wasn’t any way to measure the tragedy Rin went through against his own situation.  Haru acknowledged, though, the yearning that woke within him.  There were more pictures of him with Makoto’s family than there were with him and both of his parents, even allowing for his dislike of being in front of the camera.  Haru and his dad had never been close.  He had memories of family hikes and camping trips when he was super little, but those times became rare and eventually stopped when his dad moved to Hokkaido with his job.  He never resented his dad or got angry about it—his dad was free to choose, after all.  But Haru remembered how numb he felt, standing in the entryway of his grandmother’s house and watching his dad carry his suitcase out the door, promising to be home at least one weekend a month.  _Maybe that’s when I decided I didn’t need anyone but the water._  

Haru closed his eyes, letting out a slow breath.  He knew his parents—and his dad in particular—were proud of him and his swimming.  But to them, this was still just a phase or aberration; something to grow out of.  Haru hadn’t tried to make them think otherwise.  _I did want to be ordinary._   But the closeness—the connection—in Rin’s pictures showed him another way.  The more he looked at the photos, the more he became aware of a dryness within his soul that longed to be slaked by this kind of understanding and love.

“Rin?”  The breeze sifted through Haru’s hair.

Rin took a second to respond, as if gathering himself.  “Hm?”

“It’s OK if we do family like this?” he asked.

Rin’s head lifted from his shoulder.  “Like…?”

“Together,” Haru said.  “Wherever our dreams take us, I want our kids to be there, too.  Not in a different city or at home without both of us.”

Rin’s exhale was long and thoughtful.  “You mean, not like the way Captain Ikehara—”

Haru hugged his knees.  “I’m not talking about two months every four years, Rin.  I mean our daily lives.  Wherever we end up, wherever you want to coach.  Me and the kids will be there, too.  Even if it’s not in Iwatobi.  Even if it’s not in Japan.”

“Haru…”  Rin’s voice was a hushed whisper.  His arms tightened.  “I only imagined us doing this together.  When I said _everything_ , I always meant…  Family’s all or nothing in my mind.”  He kissed the shoulder of Haru’s shirt, which was still damp from his tears.  “I want to be all in.”

Haru sighed, his heart settling.  “Me too.”  He leaned back in Rin’s arms, offering the phone.

Rin gazed at the screen for a moment, his expression wistful, then he slipped the device back into his pocket.

“I was thinking about them earlier,” Haru said.  “Our kids.”  He looked out at the lake, at swans drifting amidst ripples wrought by the breeze.  In his mind, he saw the _sakura_ pool again, with their kids up on the blocks.

“You…were?”

Haru nodded, tucking his face against the warmth of Rin’s neck.  “Maybe they’ll want to swim with us, someday.  Like you and your dad.”

He heard and felt the way Rin’s breath caught.  _Can you see it too, Rin?  Maybe now you can.  I’m not sure you could have, before._

A rough exhale followed.  Rin’s fingers—trembling slightly—brushed down the side of his face.  “You’d like that, Haru?”

“Yeah.”

Rin’s Adam’s apple bobbed against Haru’s nose as he swallowed.  His thumb lingered on Haru’s lower lip.

Haru straightened, the gentle breeze running through their hair as he twisted in Rin’s embrace—  Rin’s face was still red, Haru tasting salt in their kiss.  The press of lips became firmer as they pulled each other close, Haru sighing in his throat as Rin cupped the back of his neck, his fingers sliding up into Haru’s hair. 

He knew they weren’t alone and he guessed Rin was equally conscious of that fact.  But he welcomed the intimacy of the kiss and the warmth that spread through his body.  It was especially poignant, even freeing, after the emotions and memories they’d just shared.  The kiss deepened naturally and it wasn’t long after that they parted, slightly breathless.

“You didn’t want to make one now, right?” Haru asked.

“ _Tch_ , don’t tease.”  Rin’s eyes flicked skyward.  “And don’t make me give you a biology lesson either.”

“I know how it works, Rin.”

Rin’s face softened.  “Do you really know what we’re getting ourselves into?”

Haru shrugged.  “I get that it’ll be complicated.  But we have a lot of years to figure it out.”  He slipped his arms around Rin’s waist. 

Rin smiled.  He ran a hand through Haru’s hair and brushed their lips chastely.

They stayed like that for a moment more. 

Haru was the first one to move, in the end.  He didn’t want to, but…  “Rin.”

“You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

Haru nodded.

Rin chuckled, picking himself up off the grass.  “Why haven’t I learned yet?  I should carry around enough _saba_ for you to eat every two hours.”

 _I like that idea._   Haru brushed grass from his pants as he got up.  “Even at midnight?”

“Midnight _saba_ …”  Rin said the words thoughtfully.  Recognition lit in his eyes and he blushed.  “Yeah.”  Their eyes met and Rin smiled, reaching for his hand.  “You still do that, Haru?”

Haru’s heart fluttered in his chest.  “Yeah.”  He smiled.

-x-

After lunch, they explored the rest of the park, wandering through the various museums, taking selfies on the bridge over the lake.  There was even a Japanese pavilion with a garden and koi pond.

The sun was starting to sink into the treetops in the west and Haru tried to remember what time they were supposed to be back.  They still had dryland tonight—

Rin stopped walking.  “Do you hear that?”

“Hm?”  Haru paused, listening…  In the distance, he picked up faint strains of music and a steady drum beat.  “Is it…samba?”

Rin grinned, tugging on his arm.

They found a band taking over a concrete plaza in front of the cultural center.  The musicians had guitars, brass, and percussion, plus microphones and amps.  A crowd had formed, people cheering and dancing.  Haru took in the scene with wide eyes, watching young and old alike doing the same moves as in the videos they saw this morning.  The rhythm was catchy, Haru felt it stirring inside him, the energy of the crowd like something electric.

They weren’t on the edge of the plaza for long before Rin had his hand with clear intent in his steps, pulling Haru into the crowd.

Haru’s heart leapt into his throat.  He resisted.  “Rin—”  _I only learned one step.  And that was this morning.  I can’t—_

Rin glanced back, his face alight with a boyish grin Haru hadn’t seen in ages.  “Dance with me, Nanase.”

Haru’s breath caught, his hesitance evaporating.  He let Rin draw him in.  The music and Rin’s smile enveloped him—so much better than a dream.

Rin had to lean close to be heard with people laughing and singing all around them.  “You dance with the water all the time.  How’s this different?”

 _It isn’t._   They clasped hands, giving themselves more room than earlier.  _The music is alive.  It ripples outward in waves and vibration…_   He remembered to step backwards with Rin leading, returning forward on the third beat.  _If you dive in, it welcomes you with pulsing rhythms, like a racing heartbeat.  It overwhelms and doesn’t let go.  But don’t be afraid._   Rin was grinning.  He laughed when they made a mistake, tugging Haru in for a kiss before they kept going.  Haru smiled, giving himself fully to the rhythms and movements; to the one he loved.  _Don’t resist the music._

Night had fallen and they’d worked up a sweat by the time Haru realized the phone was vibrating in his pocket.  He got a hand free, fishing the device out—and sucked air.  _Uh-oh._

Rin was close enough to read the name in katakana characters.  “Oh, shit,” he said, laughing.

 _We were supposed to check in before dark._ Haru answered the call as Rin swiftly led him from the crowd.  “Captain—”

There was a pause on the other end of the line.  “ _Nanase-kun, where are you?_ ”

“At the park.”

_“The one down the street, by the river?”_

“No.  Ibi-uh…”

“Ibirapuera,” Rin said.

“Ibirapuera Park,” Haru said.

Ikehara sighed.  “ _Alright, stay put.  One of us will come get you.  Expect a call on the way.”_

“Hai.  _Sumimasen._ ”  Haru dipped his head, even though the gesture was lost over the airwaves.  He returned the phone to his pocket.

“We’re in trouble, huh?” Rin asked.

“We’re supposed to wait—”

Rin hugged him, even though they were both sweaty.  Their gazes met, with the glow of the park lights above them and the music still going strong.  Rin’s eyes were bright with excitement, with a trace of mischief.  Haru’s heart was still beating fast; it wasn’t just the exertion that kept him warm.  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had this much fun.

“Rin.”  Haru wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist.

They kissed, starting to sway to the music on the edge of the crowd. 

When they drew back, Rin pressed their foreheads together.  “If it’s Coach Maekawa—”

“—we’re _really_ in trouble,” Haru said.  “How long is it by car?”

“Fifteen…twenty minutes?”

They looked at each other…and the gleam in Rin’s eyes grew.  Haru smiled, his heart back to racing as Rin took his hand and they slipped onto the dance floor once again.


	28. Vila Olímpica

_“Dad, when I go to the Olympics someday, you’ll come, right?”  Rin had both arms hooked over the lane line, water dripping from his hair to his shoulders as he watched his dad catch his breath in the next lane._

_“Yeah, Rin.”  His dad grinned, his back against the wall of the pool.  “I’ll be there and I’ll be cheering louder than anyone else.”  He reached over the line and mussed Rin’s hair.  “It’s a promise.”_

* * *

Friday, July 29th, 2016

* * *

The ground was rushing up to meet them as the plane landed to the southwest at Galeão International Airport in Rio.  The touchdown was smooth, but Rin reflexively clutched Haru’s hand as the aircraft decelerated, his ears full of the roar of air as spoiler panels deflected and thrust reversers deployed.  A strip of grass and thick, low trees separated them from the main part of Rio, across a narrow strait.  Rin turned from the window as the flight attendant came over the PA, speaking in Portuguese.  Haru was on his left and Takara had the aisle seat, chatting with Ozawa who was directly across from them.  All of them wore their JOC-issued official travel gear—gray slacks, white polo shirts, pinstripe jackets, and white dress shoes. 

Haru squeezed his fingers and Rin let out a slow breath, not meeting his lover’s gaze.  He felt like a human paradox of emotions—excitement and grief, the buoyancy of love and the heavy bitterness of loss.  He wasn’t sure how all the jumbled feelings managed to coexist in his heart, but they did.  It had been this way since yesterday—with Haru at Ibirapuera Park.  He’d worked his way through the pictures again this morning—before Haru woke up—letting the tears fall in silence.  Maybe someday he’d be able to see them without crying, when the warmth of his memories was stronger than the pain.  Coming to Rio on Tuesday, his father’s absence hit him like a slap in the face.  Today, he was heading in with his eyes open, not _ready_ but willing and determined.  _Even if it’s not easy.  Even if it hurts._ A dream that didn’t require any effort or fortitude wasn’t worth pursuing.

The aircraft stopped at the gate, a tone sounding as the fasten seatbelt placard extinguished overhead.  As people crowded into the aisle, Rin looked over into the blue of Haru’s eyes between glossy falls of black hair.  _My dad’s not here, but you are._ Sometimes, Haru’s eyes were so blue Rin felt like he could dive right in, that he could see a thousand past and future pools where they’d swim together.  _I couldn’t do this without you._

Haru was reading his face again; after a moment, his eyes softened with affection and empathy. 

_I love that you get me.  With just one look…_   To be fair, other people in his life read him like an open book, too.  Sousuke, Gou, his mom…  _But they don’t anchor me in the storms like you do._

They rested against the backs of their seats, holding each other’s gaze in an oasis of calm that wasn’t perturbed by noisy travelers or tight schedules.  When the line started to move, Takara rolled her eyes at them and got up.

Rin sighed, letting go of Haru’s hand so they could grab their things.  As they stood hunched in their row, waiting their turn to deplane, he plucked one of his red hairs from the shoulder of Haru’s jacket.  It was becoming a normal thing—occasionally finding Haru’s hair woven through one of his shirts fresh from the laundry and vice versa.  It was a silly, mundane detail that was easy to overlook, but he sort of liked these simple, domestic things.  …Not that he would admit it.

Coach Akagi gathered them in the terminal, once they’d all deplaned.  “Everyone presentable?”

“Mn.”  Haru shrugged, perfectly indifferent as always. 

Rin half-smiled, preparing himself to muster enthusiasm for the press who would be waiting as soon as they left the secured area of the airport.

“Alright.  Baggage claim’s this way.”  Akagi motioned with his head and started off.

The team began to follow, but Haru held him back.

Rin turned, arching a brow as Haru stepped close, smoothing his collar which Rin _knew_ didn’t need any attention.  “Haru—”

The sudden brush of lips made Rin’s stomach flip and his cheeks heat.

Haru drew back, looking satisfied.  “Better.”

Rin scowled, his face burning as he slung an arm around his lover’s shoulders and pulled him to follow the group.  But the warmth in his heart grew—especially when Haru reached up to lace their fingers together—and it was only three steps before he was smiling.

They passed shops selling stuffed versions of the Rio Olympic mascot before heading out through domestic arrivals.  Rio officials in their yellow, orange, and green polo shirts were on hand to greet them, along with video crews who appeared to have staked out spots for the day.  Aside from a perfunctory amount of smiling and waving, the team wasn’t hindered in proceeding to baggage claim.

“I thought it would be more annoying,” Haru said as they stood together, waiting for the carousel to start up.  “Takara had that video…”

“That was at international arrivals,” Rin said.  “We snuck in domestically.”

“Oh.”  Haru looked pleased.

“ _Tch._ ”  Rin flicked his eyes skyward.  “I keep telling you to get used to it.”  He caught Haru’s hand.

Haru glanced down at their intertwined fingers.  “You don’t mind, Rin?”

_With the cameras nearby,_ was what he meant.  Rin’s face grew hot, but he didn’t let go.  He cleared his throat.  “Nah.”  He tugged.  “Get over here.”

Haru smiled with his eyes, stepping close enough that their shoulders brushed through their jackets.

In short order, the team had claimed their luggage and were escorted curbside where they loaded onto buses.  Haru led the way, selecting seats on the right side of the bus and taking the window.

Their route from the airport followed the water before crossing the strait Rin had seen from the plane and joining the mainland.  The view was different from when they arrived on Tuesday at the _Aeroporto Santos Dumont_ and drove along the coast.  Here, the cityscape sprawled from the expressway to green hills, until a barrier along the highway—decorated with colorful banners—interrupted the scenery.

Rin sat back.  “Hm.  Not much to see, huh?”

Haru was slow to respond.  “Director Kaya sent me an article.  The wall’s supposed to block the highway noise…but it also keeps visitors and tourists from seeing the _favela_ on the other side.”  He spoke quietly, his voice even more subdued than usual.

“ _Favela?”_ Rin asked.

“A low-income neighborhood.  They don’t have plumbing or water treatment.”  Haru’s face clouded.  “I don’t get it.  People are people, even if they don’t have money.  Why should they be invisible?”

Rin wrapped an arm around Haru’s shoulders, leaning close and peering through the barrier, wherever he could catch a glimpse of the buildings beyond.  He didn’t have any words; placating statements spoken in ignorance would only serve to make the two of them feel better.  Taking reality—the world—as it was, with all of its disparity and injustice was step one.  He didn’t want to close his eyes to it anymore. 

After a minute, Haru inhaled, grasping his hand.

Rin wove their fingers together, squeezing back as the colorful banners slipped by, one-by-one.

-x-

Forty minutes later, the bus passed the Olympic Park on the left-hand side and proceeded to the Athlete’s Village.  They ended up at the Welcome Centre again, where their luggage was screened in addition to the usual security checks.  Inside the fence, with thirty-one towers scraping the clouds, they boarded a new bus that zipped them along the north edge of the Village, passing the gym, the clinic, the huge dining hall—

“Look, it’s us!”  Otani was the one squealing, pointing at the last tower in the north-side row of seven.

The decorations were simple but unmistakable—Japanese flags arranged in an organized grid, hung from balconies on the 5th, 8th, and 11th floors.

The team piled off the bus, buzzing with excitement as they waited for their luggage.  Looking up at their building, Rin felt a punch of emotion—anticipation and an ache at the same time.  He glanced at Haru, meeting the warmth in blue eyes—  Rin smiled, grabbing Haru’s hand.

Once they had their bags, they proceeded up a ramp into the building.  Coach Fujino and Coach Maekawa met them in the main lobby, having taken an earlier flight with other staff members.  They, too, wore the formal JOC attire. 

“Welcome to the Athlete’s village, Olympians—your home for the next three weeks.  Well, almost three.”  Coach Fujino smiled.  “We have your apartment assignments.  You have about an hour to settle in, then we’re meeting down here at three o’clock to head to practice.  It’s the real deal today, everyone,” Fujino said, pausing for effect.  “We’re swimming in the main pool.”

Rin inhaled and an excited murmur swept through their teammates.  Haru went still like he wasn’t breathing, gripping Rin’s hand with his pool face on.  Rin smothered a chuckle.

Coach Fujino and Coach Maekawa passed out keys along with JOC goodie bags with bottled water and snacks inside. 

Their keys were taped to printed cards.

“Apartment 804,” Haru said.

Rin exhaled with relief, even though he was sure their coaches wouldn’t screw up their room request.

“Nanase-senpai, you’re in 804, too?”  Momo bounced over with his bags, miraculously not losing anything in the process.

Rin tried not to cringe.  _There’d better be more than one room…_

“Haha, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, we’ll be flat-mates, huh?” Mikoshiba said, joining them.

“Looks like it,” Rin said.

Koda came over, key in hand.  “Too bad.  The party flat’s 806.”

“Yup.”  Kawamura was with him, the two fist-bumping.

“If I hear you from across the hall, there’s going to be trouble,” Captain Ikehara said, passing them for the elevator.  “You’d best take the parties elsewhere.”

Koda laughed.  “Just like London, huh?  Lights out and quiet hours.”

Ikehara gave the guy a mild look over his shoulder.  “At least until all the events are done, which includes Sakamoto-san and Mikoshiba-kun’s open water swim.”

Koda’s mirth became a dramatic pout.  “Koto-nee-channnn, can I be on a different floor?”

“No.  Get yourself upstairs, Takuya-kun.”  Maekawa tapped the watch on her wrist.

_Are we all on the same floor?_   Rin blinked, visions of Samezuka dorm rooms and bunkbeds in his head…  Haru had a slightly wary look on his face.

They crammed into the elevator, Captain Ikehara pushing the button for the eighth floor.  It was a relief when they arrived, spilling out with their luggage into a white hallway.  There were eight apartment doors, plus two sets of elevators and stairs.  The east end of the hall was crowded with the women from their team and their massive amounts of luggage—including Takara’s karaoke machine.

Each apartment had a sign on the door with the Japanese flag, their names, and a background of flowing _sakura_.  Apparently, JOC support staff had been busy decorating.

“Nii-chan!  Rin-senpai!  Nanase-senpai!”  Momo jumped from foot to foot in front of the first door left of the west elevators.

“Don’t just stand there, Momo.  Open the door.”  Rin sighed, pulling his luggage along.

Momo figured out his key and disappeared into the apartment.  “Look a sofa!  There’s a Rio coffee table!  And a beanbag chair!” 

Rin followed the kid inside.  The first door on the right led to a bedroom with two beds, a private bath, and—in lieu of windows—sliding glass doors with a balcony on the other side.  Deeper in the apartment, there was a seating area with the aforementioned furnishings (and only those items), another bedroom off to the right with a private bath, and an unfinished room to the left with a countertop and sink that would probably become a kitchen once the units were remodeled after the Games.  All the walls were matte white and bare with glossy, tile floors beneath. 

The highlight of the apartment was a balcony off the seating area that looked out into the Village. 

Momo had already flung the glass doors open and gone out.  “Look, we have a flag!” 

The Japanese flag was lashed onto their balcony, in the center of the glass barrier.  Rin could hear their teammates’ voices coming from outside.  He joined Momo, just as the kid was leaning over the barrier and waving enthusiastically.

“Sada-nee-chan!  Otani-san!”

Rin grabbed a handful of the kid’s jacket, putting his feet back on the tiled balcony.  “Dummy, don’t go diving over the edge.”  It was a long way down…straight into a leisure pool that ran the entire width of the building on the first floor.  _Hm, guess Haru hasn’t seen that yet._ The water was shimmering turquoise, lined with deck chairs.  Their view to the south looked out over the tennis courts with the transportation mall to the west and the southern Village towers across the way—stretching out from horizon to horizon.  _This place is a city._

There were four balconies on the southern side of the building, Rin and Momo were on the farthest west.  Ikehara and the relay-only guys were checking out the balcony next to theirs.  Beyond them, Rin saw Takara, Ozawa, and Konishi on the third balcony, while Sada and Otani were waving back at Momo from the east-most balcony.

“I feel like this will be the lively side,” Mikoshiba said, coming outside.  “Matsuoka, you guys want the bedroom in the back?”

“Neither room has a bathtub,” Haru said as he came to the railing.  He looked down and immediately went still, his eyes flaring wide.

Rin snuck an arm around his boyfriend’s waist.  “Don’t think about it.  Eight floors isn’t a high dive.”

“Nn.” 

“You’re sure?” Rin asked Mikoshiba.  The first bedroom was the larger of the two, plus it had a balcony.

“Yeah, take it,” Mikoshiba said.  “Since we’ll be up and about early, less chance of disturbing you guys this way.” 

“Thanks.”  Rin tugged Haru from the railing.

Haru’s steps were slow until the pool was out of view.

They dragged their luggage into their room, setting their bags just inside the door.  The two narrow beds with blue Olympics-themed bedspreads were on the right-hand side, separated by small wooden nightstands.  An air conditioning unit was mounted high up on the opposite wall.  Nearer to the door, next to the beds, was a green wardrobe.  The bathroom was on the left; Rin peeked inside.  There was a sink, toilet, and shower plus shower-curtain in a row.  It was large enough for a western-style bathtub with shower, but no tub was installed.  Instead, there was a small lip to step over to get in, separate from the tile floor. 

The room’s balcony was smaller than the one out front and looked out over the transportation mall to the west with the mountains in the distance.  Blackout curtains in pale gray hung to either side of the glass doors.  The Spartan room was entirely serviceable, but it was no São Paulo or Barcelona, for sure.  _We’ve been spoiled, staying in hotels._

Haru wasted no time shrugging off his pinstripe jacket.  He sat down on the nearer of the two beds and took off his shoes.  The bedroom floor was laminate hardwood. 

“Yay, bed!”  Momo’s voice came in through the open door.  Rin heard the slap of running feet and a _whump_ that was probably the kid flopping down on his bed in the other room.  “Nii-chan, can we go stag beetle hunting later?”

_Ugh.  Like I want to share this apartment with even one Pyunsuke._  

Rin closed the door.  He turned back to Haru pulling his polo shirt over his head and then starting in on his slacks.  Rin’s fingers fell slowly from the door knob as Haru stripped.

“What?  We’re swimming after this.”  Haru tossed the discarded clothes onto the bed, standing there in his underwear.

“I wasn’t complaining, Haru.”  Rin smiled, letting his matching jacket slide off his shoulders.  He crossed to the bed nearest the balcony and sat down to pull off his shoes.

Haru dropped down onto his bed again.  He bounced a bit with a discerning look on his face, the metal frame creaking in protest.

Rin blushed faintly.  “Testing the mattress?”

Haru shook his head.  “Seeing how loud it is.”

Rin’s face went from warm to burning.

Haru laid back, stretching out with his head on the pillow.  He still had room beyond his feet, but his shoulders were nearly the width of the bed.

_Guess we’ll be cozy._   It wasn’t like they hadn’t napped in twin beds before, at either of their Tokyo apartments or at the NTC.  Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “Wanna move them now?”

Haru rolled onto his side, facing Rin.  His elbow dimpled the sheets and his chin was propped on his knuckles.  “OK.”  He didn’t get up, though.

Rin’s heart started to pound as he undid the buttons on his polo shirt, while Haru watched.  They had practice in less than an hour, the rule was in effect, Mikoshiba and Momo were right next door…but with the way Haru was looking at him, all Rin wanted to do was push his lover down to the bed and trade water kisses until the rest of their clothes came off.  _I bet we can be quiet when we have to be._

Rin sank his teeth into his lower lip, exhaling hard through his nose.  He pulled off his shirt and balled it up, throwing the garment in Haru’s face.  “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

Rin lowered his voice to a whisper, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Like you want me.”

“I do want you,” Haru said in husky tones.

The words sent a shiver raking down Rin’s spine.  _Damnit, Haru_.  Rin got to his feet, making quick work of his belt and slacks and tossing them onto the bed.  “You’re making this harder than it needs to be.”

“Sorry,” Haru said, getting up.  “I was gonna take a shower anyway.”  He flicked the lights on in the bathroom, pausing in the doorway.  “If you need one too, you can come.”

Once Haru disappeared inside, Rin tried a slow breath, running both hands over his face.  He couldn’t blame Haru for everything.  _I want you so bad I can taste it._   Rin shifted his weight and folded his arms.  The shower started, his hands curling as he debated.  Cold water wasn’t magic; it could only do so much. 

…But he still moved a minute later, heading into the bathroom.  Gooseflesh rose on his skin immediately, cool mist swirling around him.  Rin stepped out of his underwear, leaving it on the tile floor next to Haru’s.  He opened the shower curtain halfway.

Haru was standing in the spray with his back to Rin, his hands at his sides and his eyes closed with his face turned to the water.  He didn’t do anything to acknowledge Rin’s presence, but Rin wasn’t surprised.  Haru always knew when Rin was there.

Rin stepped into the shower, wincing as the icy water hit his chest and thighs.  Haru’s skin was just as cold as Rin wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist from behind, pressing their bodies flush.  The contact sent a tremor through both of them, though the sensation was short-lived, fading under the numbing onslaught of the cold water. 

Haru reached with his left hand, running his fingers through Rin’s hair as he leaned back.  Those fingers tightened, less coaxing and more demanding the kiss Rin set against Haru’s lips.  Haru’s lips were like ice, slick under the spray, but his mouth was warm.  Rin yielded to the slow play of lips and tongue, trusting Haru more than he trusted himself.  When Haru turned in his arms, their hips brushing, Rin gasped in his throat at the sudden jolt he felt.  They both went still, Rin closing his eyes in silent protest as the pleasure dulled to a faint echo.  He kissed the column of Haru’s neck, rewarded by a slight hiss for his efforts and feeling the rapid staccato of Haru’s pulse under frigid skin. 

Soon, their mouths weren’t enough to keep each other warm and they were shivering for want of heat, alone.

Haru turned off the water, the temperature in the shower rising dramatically, though Rin still couldn’t feel his fingers or toes. 

Haru brushed water from Rin’s face and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.  “That was nice,” he said.

“Speak for yourself, you ass,” Rin said, his teeth chattering.  “I’m freezing.”

Haru smiled.  He drew the shower curtain aside, grabbing towels for them both.  “This room’s OK,” he said, as if the ability to get in each other’s intimate space was the sole deciding factor upon which a room’s acceptability should be judged.

_Tch_.  Rin toweled off briskly, not trusting himself to move until he’d worked some feeling back into his limbs. 

Haru hung his towel on the hook, heading for his suitcase completely nude.

Rin followed, the two of them sneaking furtive, sassy glances at each other as they dressed for practice.  It was still the best shower he’d had in a while.

-x-

At 3pm, the first floor lobby was a sea of _sakura_ warmup jackets and black pants, their coaches doing head counts and making sure everyone had their badges.  Haru was all but pressed against the fence on the south side of the lobby, staring out at the leisure pool.

“Alright—our bus is at the transportation mall,” Coach Maekawa said, the team starting to filter outside.

Rin grasped Haru’s hand.

Haru made a whimpering sound as Rin pulled him from the fence.

“Dummy, we’re going swimming.”

“Nnnn.”  Haru gave him a look like, _yeah, but_ this _water is here_ now _…_

Rin chuckled.  “If you still want to later, we can swim then.”

“I’ll want to,” Haru said, pouting with his voice.

Rin smiled.

The transportation mall was on the west side of the Village, past a long row of country flags on tall poles.  They exited through the security checkpoint and boarded a bus with their coaches.

The Olympic Park was busier than on Tuesday, with more workers and other athletes moving between the various arenas.  Rin and Haru stripped down to their _sakura_ square legs in the Aquatic Centre locker room, stuffing their gear bags in lockers and putting away their bracelets. 

They grabbed what they needed and headed out to the pool deck.

Standing beside the pool for the first time felt surreal, the perspective so much different than looking down from the stands.  Today, the white and navy-blue start blocks were uncovered, backstroke flags hung above the lanes at the 5m mark, and blue-green Rio 2016 barriers lined both sides of the pool.  _This is really happening—my dream…_   Rin stood there stunned, fighting a sudden surge of emotion.  He wasn’t a starry-eyed kid anymore, watching Olympic athletes on TV and longing to be one of them.  It had taken years of hard work, sacrifice, and painful setbacks.  After all that… _Dad, I really made it._   Rin inhaled hard, looking for Haru.  _Haru, we—_

The splash came from lane one. 

Rin sighed and propped a hand on his hip, watching Haru glide through shimmering water and surface into lazy pulls of free.

Haru’s athletic trainer—Kasai—was in a gray JOC T-shirt and blue shorts.  She came up behind the start block, cupping her hands around her mouth.  “Nanase-kun!”

_Shit_.  Rin felt a rush of cold.  _We forgot the tape…_   Their date at the park yesterday and everything today felt so normal, he’d barely spared a thought for Haru’s wrist.  There wasn’t much chance of Haru doing something stupid by himself during warm ups, but…  Rin stayed out of the pool.

Haru stopped after one hundred meters, propping his goggles on his forehead as he bobbed in the water near the lane one start block.

“Can you get out for a second?” Kasai asked.

Haru glanced over, as if noting Rin wasn’t in the pool.  _And probably reading my face again, damnit._   Rin exhaled.

“Hai.”  Haru swam through lane zero and climbed out using the ladder.

“You didn’t even let Matsuoka-kun tape it?”  Kasai clicked her tongue.  “What’s your number today, Nanase-kun?”

“The pain scale?” Haru asked.

“Hai.”

Haru shrugged.  “Zero.”

Rin’s breath caught.

“Can you show me?” Kasai asked.

Haru flexed his wrists in unison, running through his range of motion checks, then letting Kasai do a quick exam.

She let go and Rin waited without breathing—

Kasai nodded.  “It looks good.  I still want you to tape it, though.”  She pulled a roll of tape from the satchel at her waist.  “The last thing you want to do is reinjure it during practice, a week away from the Games.”

Haru pressed his lips.  “Hai.”

She was quick about it, only adding a minimal amount of tape to Haru’s wrist.  “OK, give that a shot.”

Haru nodded.  “Thanks.”

Rin finally let out the breath he was holding, the air threading through his teeth as a tremor went through his body.  “Haru.”  He stayed where he was, because if he took even one step, he’d be running and _nothing_ would stop him from tackling Haru into the pool…just like how this whole mess started, almost three weeks ago.

Haru met his gaze, coming over dripping wet.

Rin fought the sting in his eyes, his cap and goggles falling to the pool deck as he threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “It’s really…?”  He couldn’t get the words out.  _I wanted you to be fine.  I prayed for you to get better—_   But hoping—really truly hoping—was another matter entirely.

“Yeah,” Haru murmured, slipping his arms around Rin’s waist.  “It’s OK today.”

“And not…  Not just because of the shower, earlier?”

Haru cocked a brow, a glint shining in his eyes.  “Which part?”

“The cold part, you idiot!”

“Oh.”  Haru smiled with his eyes.  “Maybe that helped.  I dunno.  It just doesn’t hurt today.”

_Haru._   Rin drew a hard breath, reaching down for Haru’s left hand and bringing the limb to his lips.  He kissed the tape, cradling Haru’s wrist against his cheek as he closed his eyes.  _Please God.  Please—_   He was desperate for this one thing to be _over._

Damp fingers trailed down the side of his face and Rin blinked into soft blue eyes—that look that said, _I love you_ without having to utter a sound.

Rin pulled Haru close, fitting their lips together because he had to—nothing else seemed to satisfy the emotion spreading through his chest but to kiss the one he loved—

Until the whistle blew.  Rin and Haru jerked apart.

“Matsuoka, Nanase.  _Get in the pool!_ ”  Maekawa was yelling at them again.

Rin blushed hard, but the impish look in Haru’s eyes made him smile.  He swept up his cap and goggles from the deck, following Haru to the block on lane one.

After Haru dove, Rin climbed onto the start block.  He stretched his cap over his hair and settled his goggles into place.  Rin snapped the strap and bent to grasp the block, gazing down the lane at the one he was aiming for.  Grinning, he sprang forward—

-x-

Rin and Haru drilled the four-by-two hundred free with Mikoshiba and Sugiyama until Rin felt like his arms had gone numb.  Warming down with descending five hundreds was definitely Maekawa punishing them for poolside PDA. 

After, Rin sat on the edge of the pool with his legs dangling in the water.

Haru was still in the pool, clinging to the side next to Rin’s knees and looking like he didn’t want to get out yet.

“Why are _you_ fine?” Rin asked between breaths.

Haru shrugged.  “I’m extra tapered.”

Rin rolled his eyes.

Haru pushed himself up with his right hand, joining Rin on the side.

Rin’s gaze fell to the tape.  “It’s still OK?”

Haru nodded, flexing his wrist.  “It feels good.”

Rin exhaled with relief. 

“I want to do left-hand finishes again.”  Haru held up his hand, his eyes focused on the water rolling from his fingers, each droplet shimmering under the bright white lights.  “I need to be free to do either.”

Rin’s stomach knotted.  “Haru.”

Haru glanced over.  “I won’t until they let me.  But I can’t baby my wrist forever.”

_I can_.  Rin pressed his lips.  That was the emotion talking, though.  In the end, he knew Haru was right.  It just worried him.  How soon was too soon?

“Olympians, gather up.”  Coach Fujino was standing behind the blocks.

Rin got to his feet, offering Haru a hand.  They joined their teammates.

“Great work today, everyone.  No late dryland tonight so you can get settled—”

A quiet cheer rose from the group.

“—but tomorrow we start twice daily race-time practices at noon and nine pm.  Curfew is now in effect—one am to eleven am.  If you’re out of bed during those hours, or if there are noise complaints, we’ll be enacting a disciplinary measure called ‘rooming with your coach.’”

Koda winced, making a small sound.

Coach Fujino smiled.  “Some of you veterans know what I’m talking about.  You can warn the first-timers.”

“Ooh!”  Momo raised his hand.

“Yes, Momotarou-kun?”

“Do we get to pick which Coach we room with?”  Momo’s glance in Coach Maekawa’s direction was anything but subtle.

_Idiot._

A lot of sighing and eye rolling followed.

“Obviously, no, Momotarou-kun.”  Fujino gave the kid a pointed look.

Mikoshiba slung an arm around his brother’s shoulders.  “Little brother, you have nothing to worry about.  You’ll be sleeping like a baby—snug in your bed—every night.”

“Aww, Nii-chan.”  Momo pouted.

Coach Fujino clasped his hands behind him, addressing the team again.  “Pay attention to meeting times and locations.  Our practices will generally be here—main pool in the morning, warm up pool at night, but not always.  Transportation has been arranged accordingly, so don’t be late and make sure to look out for each other.  Questions, Olympians?”  After a pause, he smiled.  “Alright, get some rest tonight.  That’s all for today.”

Rin and Haru followed their teammates back to the locker room.  Food was the only thing on Rin’s mind—some lean meat, lots of salad, maybe some rice…

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”  Captain Ikehara fell in step with them.  “Special meeting tonight, after lunch.  Seven pm in apartment 802.  Got it?”

“Seven pm, 802.”  Rin nodded.  “We’ll be there.”

“Good, see you then.”  The captain headed off, intercepting the Mikoshiba brothers next.

“Special meeting,” Haru murmured.

Rin shrugged.  “We’ll find out when we get there, I guess.”

Haru exhaled.  “This means I can’t swim after we eat.”

Rin flicked his eyes towards the ceiling, draping an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they headed towards their lockers.  “Like I’d let you, anyway.  You need to digest first.”

“Nn.”

-x-

After a hearty meal, Rin and Haru joined their teammates packed into the small common area of Ozawa, Takara, and Konishi’s apartment.  The layout was slightly different, with the two bedrooms arranged on either end and the shared living space, kitchen, and balcony in the middle.

Rin and Haru stood against the wall, close enough that their sides were touching, with Mikoshiba and Momo sitting on the couch nearby.  Well, Mikoshiba was sitting.  Momo was perched behind his brother on the back of the couch.  Looking around, Rin counted almost two dozen people in the room, but given the sparse furniture, it didn’t feel crowded.  Most of their teammates leaned against the wall or sat on the floor.  Aside from Ozawa, Koda, and Captain Ikehara, the rest were all first-time Olympians.

“Alright, everyone.”  Ozawa was standing in front of the group, still in her red _sakura_ jacket and black pants, next to the wall that divided the sitting room from the kitchen.  “This is your unofficial Welcome-to-the-Village briefing, to inaugurate all of you first-timers to the way things are done here.”  Captain Ikehara and Koda stood off to the side, in the kitchen area.

“First off,” Ozawa propped a hand on her hip, her brown ponytail glossy under the overhead lighting, “you’ve probably all heard stories about life in the Village.  Some are true, some are exaggerated, and some are underplayed.  If you have specific questions, you can ask one of us veterans later.  The bottom line is—yes, wild stuff does happen, but we’re all serious athletes first and most people want to stay focused until their events are done.  So,” Ozawa held out her hand, flexing two fingers.  “There are only two rules.  Anyone want to guess?”  Her gaze roved the crowd.  “You’ve probably heard it before…”

Otani—sitting in the front row on the floor—tentatively raised her hand.  “Um, don’t talk about what happens in the Village?”

“Bingo.  The first rule of the Olympic Village—we don’t talk about what happens in the Olympic Village.  And the second rule is…?”

Others chimed in.  “Don’t violate curfew?”  “Don’t be mean to people?”  “Don’t have sex outside?”  “What about jumping off the balcony?”

Ozawa sighed, dropping her hand.  “OK, yeah, all things you shouldn’t do…”

Kawamura cleared his throat.  “The second rule of the Olympic Village—don’t talk about what happens in the Olympic Village.”

“Ding-ding!” Koda said, making a fist-bump motion at the guy.

“Well, I feel old,” Ozawa said.  “When only one of you gets the reference.”

“Most of them were probably still in diapers in ‘99, Yumi-chan,” Koda said.

Ozawa sighed.  “Alright.”  She waved it off.  “Joking aside, there aren’t really ‘rules’ other than basic common sense and respect.  Since we’re all in this together, we don’t get in each other’s way, those letting loose must be considerate of athletes who are still competing and those who aren’t interested, and keep Village things in the Village.  Not complicated, right?”

There were nods around the room.

“Practically speaking, this means—for one—don’t sexile your roommate.”

Rin blushed automatically.  _No need to worry about that._

“Every athlete has the right to a full night’s sleep before competing and remember that our curfew hours aren’t the same as others’.  Respect quiet times and don’t make an ass of yourself in the Village.  If you make an ass of yourself outside of the Village, you get to deal with other problems—namely the JOC and our sponsors—which our coaches have covered in detail, so we don’t need to reiterate.  Questions on that?”

When there were none, Ozawa reached into her pocket, pulling out a handful of emerald-green foil packets.

Rin’s blush deepened.  Beside him, Momo sat forward, wide-eyed.  Otani’s back was to Rin, but he could see how red the tips of her ears were.  As usual, Haru was unfazed.

“You’ve seen the news articles about the most Olympic condoms ever and you’ve heard the scary Zika briefing from our medical staff.  These are free and they’re readily available in the resident centers, entertainment areas, the clinic, and even the dining hall.  Just look for the florescent green vending machines.  Yes, the cranks on the machines are loud.”  Ozawa shrugged.  “Get over it.  Your health and safety are worth more than your shyness.  The machines are stocked with male condoms.  New this Olympics—” she held up two other shiny packets, one larger, one small and tube-like “—female condoms and lubricant packets are available at the polyclinic and in the resident centers.  If you need anything else, the convenience store in the Village Plaza is well-stocked and probably has it.”

_We do need…stuff_.  The redness in Rin’s face was going to be permanent at this point.

“By the way, if you’re caught sneaking into the tower missing clothes or wearing another team’s gear, you can expect some good-natured hazing.”  Ozawa smiled.  “All within the team, of course.”  She paused, glancing across faces.  “No one is going to tell you what to do or what not to do.  You take responsibility for your own choices, just like everyone else is responsible for theirs.  Second opportunity for questions…”

When the crowd remained silent, Ozawa smiled again.  “Yeah, no one wants to ask anything when I’m flashing these around, huh?”  She glanced to the side.  “Anything I missed, Captain Ikehara?”

“Nope, you covered the bases nicely, Ozawa-san.”  The captain moved from the kitchen to join her.

“Nailed it,” Koda said, grinning and giving her a thumb’s up.

Ozawa rolled her eyes, flicking a foil packet at him before returning the rest to her pocket and yielding the floor.

Captain Ikehara coughed lightly, turning to the group.  “I’ll also be captain of the ‘ _Having fun with your clothes on’_ committee.  Whether that’s hanging out at the beach, sightseeing, cultural activities, samba lessons…”

Haru perked up beside Rin at the mention of dancing.  Rin smiled, feeling the heat in his cheeks fade a bit.  Down in front, Otani seemed to let out a sigh of relief.

“I’ll send out a schedule and where to meet.  No need to RSVP; if you’re interested, just show up.  …And that pretty much wraps this up.  You’ve heard this before from our coaches, but it applies to us, too.  We—” he nodded towards Ozawa and Koda “—have your backs.  If you ever find yourself in a weird situation—inside or outside the Village—and you need help, don’t hesitate to contact one of us.  We’ll sort things out.”  Ikehara smiled.  “That’s it.  Mostly painless, right?  Any last questions?”

Kawamura spoke up.  “That coach threat is for real, huh?”

Captain Ikehara lifted a brow, glancing at Koda.  “Koda-kun.”

“Ugh.”  Koda folded his arms, shifting against the wall.  “Coach Fujino made me listen to classical music and help him with paperwork for _hours._   He has all kinds of spies, you know.  Some random JOC staffer from track and field was the one who caught me.”  The guy rolled his shoulders.  “It’s not worth it, unless you’re into that kind of thing.  Though it’s true no one cares what you do when it’s _not_ curfew, as long as it doesn’t affect your times and doesn’t result in bad press.  Losing sleep is what’ll screw you up the worst.”

Ikehara cleared his throat.  “Thanks, Koda-kun.”

“Sure.”  Koda grinned.

“Anything else?” Ikehara asked the first-timers.  When no one had other questions, the captain smiled.  “OK, the first clothes-on activity is hitting the gym tonight at nine, followed by dinner.  Anyone who wants to go can meet down in the lobby, a quarter till.”

“You can count us in, Captain Ikehara,” Mikoshiba said with a broad grin. 

“Nii-channnnn.”  Momo pouted, wiggling on the back of the couch. 

“I’m coming too,” Otani said. 

As other members of the team expressed interest, Rin glanced at Haru, meeting shining blue pool eyes.  He smiled.  _No worries, Haru.  We’re going swimming._

The group filed out of the apartment—except for Ozawa, Konishi, and Takara—stretching stiff muscles and chatting.

A few of the guys clustered around Koda on the opposite side of the hall, talking in hushed voices.  Koda leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets while the younger guys laughed awkwardly and hung onto every word he was saying.

Momo tried to escape and join them, but Mikoshiba caught the kid in a headlock.  “That conversation isn’t for you, little brother.”

“Awww.”

Rin and Haru trailed behind as Mikoshiba dragged Momo back to their apartment.  Haru was gripping Rin’s hand, his singular focus evident.  Rin chuckled, tugging his lover close.

Back in their room, Haru had half of his clothes off before Rin got the door closed.  They traded their _sakura_ practice suits for their red and blue square legs, throwing on Team Japan T-shirts and shorts over top.

“Haru, let’s do the beds now.”

“Nn.”  Haru frowned but joined him, the two of them making quick work of rearranging the nightstands and getting the narrow beds flush together.

Rin surveyed the finished product, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I feel like one NTC bed was as wide as two of these.”

Haru shrugged.  “You always end up sleeping on me anyways.”

“ _Oi_.”  Rin’s face warmed.

Haru glanced at him askance.  “Didn’t say it was a bad thing, Rin.”

_Haru_.  Rin chewed his lower lip, trying not to think of mornings in Spain—of lazy wakeups and slow kisses and Haru sighing beneath him—

“Can we go now?”

Rin exhaled hard, deliberately schooling his thoughts.  “Yeah.”

-x-

Night had fallen and the leisure pool was lit from within with pale blue lights.  The pool was a narrow strip, running the width of their tower with palm trees and green deck chairs on the nearer side.  The opposite side was flush with the ledge surrounding the building, overlooking the tennis courts below.  The water was shallow but fine for lounging.  The place might’ve technically been closed without a lifeguard present, but they weren’t the only ones in the pool so Rin figured it was fine.

He reclined against the side while Haru floated, the two of them far enough away from the others that it wasn’t possible for quiet conversations to carry over the sound of the water. 

It was peaceful for now.  Once the Village was full of 10,000 athletes plus National Olympic Committees and team staff, Rin expected crowds and mayhem with few opportunities for solitude other than their room.  _I wonder if I can get on the roof._   Haru felt freest in the water, but Rin needed high places with the wind whipping through his hair and open sky above him…

Tonight, the stars were obscured by a blanket of clouds.  That didn’t stop him from looking, a familiar ache gathering in his heart.  If being up high seemed closer to heaven, maybe that was why.  Rin remembered how it felt to be swept up into strong arms and ride tall on his father’s shoulders.  The world was _perfect_ in those moments—shining and beautiful, overflowing with possibilities.  He didn’t start escaping to the roof until after his dad’s death.  Sousuke used to find him there often before he left Sano Elementary.  When he and Sousuke fought about the relay, he hid up there, skipping class until the teacher called his mom.  _Whenever things overwhelmed me, I ran for the stairs…  I guess I was looking for you, Dad.  Looking for that feeling I got, when we were together._

Rin closed his eyes, sighing as the water lapped gently at his shoulders.  The memories came so much easier now—of races and boat rides and sunrise fishing trips…

The ache sharpened, a lump forming in his throat.  _I know you’d be proud of me for getting this far._ He swallowed with effort.  _I know you wouldn’t want me to blame myself for the things that happened—for choices you made, whatever the reason—or for my own mistakes, either._   But knowing with his head was different than feeling it with his heart and it wasn’t easy when his father’s arms weren’t there, when there wasn’t a warm hand to ruffle his hair or a grin aimed at him.  Heat stung his eyes and his nose, but he didn’t fight the emotions yet.  _I wish I could hear your voice one more time._   _See your smile…_

Rin rubbed his face with a wet hand, inhaling deeply.  Back in April, he couldn’t even admit that he missed his dad.  Now, he allowed himself the honesty, the longing, the acknowledgement of wounds slowly healing and scars that would never fade.

_I wish you could watch me fulfill the dream you gave up._

The water rippled, flowing over his shoulders and he felt Haru’s proximity without needing to open his eyes. 

Haru didn’t utter a word, sitting next to him.  Underwater, cool fingers grazed Rin’s.  He gripped the offered hand.  Haru’s hand was strong, firm, and _real_ ; the pain didn’t fade but it was easier to bear, now that he wasn’t alone.  _Maybe_ …  Rin opened his eyes, meeting Haru’s gaze, his lover’s wet face and black hair gilded with silvery light.  … _the reason I didn’t want to fall in love wasn’t because of distractions or fragile dreams…but because I couldn’t lose someone I loved that much.  Not again._

Blue eyes flicked across his face, reading silently.

It was too late, now.  He was in too deep to even think of pulling back and trying to protect himself through isolation, under the guise of a demanding dream.  The fear was on the edge of his psyche and as close as Haru’s sprained wrist…but it could go to hell.  Rin drew on Haru’s arm, leaning close…  _I’m not giving up what we have for an uncertain future or because ‘forever’ might not be as long as I want it to be._   He caught the softness in Haru’s eyes before their lips met and Rin tasted cold droplets of chlorine in their kiss.  _Every moment I have with you is gonna count._ It was a promise he first made to himself in Spain, after storms and nightmares sent him into a tailspin of fear.  Then, it took him hours to struggle through and rise above it; this time, there was nothing to debate.  The warmth was in his heart and in their kiss, in the wet fingers that tangled into his hair…

When they eventually parted, Rin didn’t care if they had an audience.  He curled an arm around Haru’s shoulders, the two of them looking across tennis courts, grassy slopes, and water features to the half-occupied towers on the southern side of the Village.

“Haru.”

“Hmm?”  Haru laid his head on Rin’s shoulder, his wet hair dripping onto Rin’s collarbone and chest.

“I love you,” Rin said.  The words were more than just emotion—they were promise, reality, and decision.

He felt Haru go still, as if holding his breath.  A long moment followed, Rin’s declaration fading into the breeze, replaced by the sound of the water and the muffled voices of others, nearby.

Haru’s exhale was slow, carefully measured.  “Rin.”

“Yeah?”

“If you say it like that too much, you’ll get that embarrassing Olympic proposal…or I’ll take you to bed.  Just so you know.”

Haru’s answer sent a pleasant heat through Rin’s body, the emotion in his chest sweetening in response.  He smiled, lifting his hand to cup Haru’s cheek.  “I’ll take the risk,” he murmured, seeking Haru’s lips again.

-x-

They dropped in on the gym crowd for a brief workout and dinner, getting back to their room just after midnight.  Momo was already snoring, passed out on his brother’s back after eating a ton of carbs at the dining hall.  Mikoshiba put the kid to bed, Rin taking care of all the doors and windows before turning in with Haru.

After a quick shower, they toweled off, donned fresh underwear, and climbed into their side-by-side beds.

It was tough to get comfortable.  Rin couldn’t just sprawl like he had in São Paulo.  He tried turning every which way in the small bed, but…

“You’re spinning like a turbine,” Haru said, stifling a yawn.

Rin sighed, settling on his back and blinking into the dark.  “I miss our bed.”

“Our future bed?”

He pressed his lips.  “Yeah.”

Haru pulled at the blankets, nudging Rin’s shoulder.  “Turn over.”

“Mn…”  Rin turned onto his side, facing the curtains.  He felt it when Haru lifted the sheet, bare skin sliding against his back, their bodies fitting together all the way down to his ankles. 

Haru finished fussing with the covers and slipped his left arm around Rin’s body, encasing him in blissful warmth.  Rin couldn’t help the sound of contentment that fell from his lips as he relaxed into Haru’s embrace.

“Better?” Haru’s breath stirred the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Yeah,” he said.

“It’s like Australia but in reverse.”

Rin’s face heated.  “We woke up like that _one time_ —”

“I know.”  Haru kissed his shoulder.  “I secretly liked it, Rin.  Same when we were kids.”

The tension melted from Rin’s body and he smiled, closing his eyes.  “Me too.”

* * *

Sunday, July 31st, 2016

* * *

Beyond the balcony doors, the sun was setting over the Athlete’s Village, but it was Monday morning in Japan—August 1st.  Rin sat behind Haru on the small couch in their apartment, leaning against Haru’s back with his arms draped comfortably around Haru’s shoulders.  Mikoshiba was next to them on the sofa and Momo was sitting on the floor, largely obstructing the view of the laptop screen on the coffee table.  They were still in their warmups from practice, having come straight from lunch.

The image on the screen was a closed door, until Gou reversed the camera.  _“Everybody ready?”_ she whispered, wearing a blue college T-shirt with her hair in its usual ponytail.

Haru nodded, Mikoshiba gave a thumb’s up, and Momo was biting a pillow and quivering.

She smothered a giggle.  _“OK.  Makoto-senpai—”_

_“Got it,”_ Makoto said offscreen. 

Gou turned her tablet around, giving them a view of the dorm hallway before settling again on a door with a sparkly nameplate that read _Hazuki Nagisa_ and _Ryugazaki Rei._

Makoto must have texted or something because the door opened silently, Rei—in a pair of black pajamas with purple butterflies—letting the two into the room with a clandestine expression as he adjusted his glasses.

The picture turned grainy, the room dark except for a nightlight, but Rin could still make out bunk beds, a low table, two desks--one with Nagisa’s faded athletic jacket draped over the back of the chair.  The bed on the upper bunk was perfectly made, but in the lower bunk, there was a lump beneath the covers with blond hair sticking out.

The camera moved closer, right up to the edge of the bunk.  Gou flashed her fingers in front of the screen.  _Three…two…one_ —

The lights came on—

_“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NAGISA-KUN!!”_

_“Wahhhh ha haaa!”_   Nagisa sprung back from the noise, ending up against the wall with the blankets falling away from his pink and white penguin T-shirt.  His hair was all askew as he rubbed his eyes and blinked.  _“Gou-chan?  Mako-chan—”_

“ _That couldn’t have gone more perfectly_ ,” Rei said from offscreen.  “ _Nagisa-kun, you were completely surprised_.”  He proceeded to laugh maniacally.

“Hee.  Were you scared, Nagisacchi?” Momo asked, leaning towards the laptop and completely blocking the view. 

_“Momo-chan!”_

“Oi.”  Rin nudged the kid in the side with a sock-covered foot.  “We can’t see, Momo.”

_“Rin-chan!”_

Mikoshiba caught Momo in a headlock, drawing the kid back against the sofa.  “That’s better, Momotarou!”

_“Sei-chan!”_   Nagisa moved closer to the camera, his face beaming with delight.  Then his gaze landed on Haru.  “ _Ha_ —”  Nagisa’s ruby eyes filled with tears.  _“Haru-chan!”_

Haru smiled.  “Nagisa.  Happy Birthday.”

_“Wahh!  You guys!”_   Nagisa clutched the blankets, large droplets rolling down his cheeks. 

Rei climbed onto the bunk with him, handing him a handkerchief.  _“Nagisa-kun, your face will get red if you cry.”_

Nagisa blew his nose with gusto.  _“I don’t care!”_

_“Oh, should I make consolation hot chocolate?”_ Gou asked.

Nagisa perked up.  _“With strawberry, too?”_

_“Of course!”_

_Ugh._   It was a good thing Rin hadn’t overeaten at lunch.

The tablet switched hands to Makoto as Gou headed off.

Nagisa clutched the handkerchief, Rei rubbing his back as he leaned towards the screen.  _“Ne, Haru-chan.  What’s it like—Rio?”_

Haru shrugged.  “It’s warm.”

Everyone sighed.  _“Haru-chan…”_ Makoto said from behind the camera.

“The pool is nice,” Haru said, as if feeling the need to elaborate.

“And…and!”  Momo vibrated in his brother’s hold.  “There’s free McDonald’s—as much as you want!  I had five ice cream cones today!”

_“Free McDonald’s!”_   Nagisa’s eyes went wide.

Makoto chuckled offscreen.  _“I’m surprised your brother let you eat that.”_

Mikoshiba cleared his throat.  “His brother did not let him eat that.  His honorary older sister spoils him as much as Mikan.”

Momo broke free from Mikoshiba’s grasp.  “Nagisa-senpai, do you wanna see our apartment?”

_“Yeah!”_

The kid grabbed the laptop, bounding off.  “This is the kitchen!  This is our bean bag chair!”

“ _Momotarou-kun, you’re making me dizzy_ ,” Rei said.

Rin got up, plucking the laptop from Momo’s hands before he could run into the bedrooms.  “Sorry, Rei.”

“Awww.”  Momo pouted, sitting on the floor and crossing his arms.

Nagisa and Rei peered into the screen.  _“Those are your new warmups, Rin-chan?”_ Nagisa asked.

“Yeah.”  Rin adjusted the tilt on the laptop screen.  “Pretty stylish, huh?”

_“They’re…so beautiful,”_ Rei said.

_“You could get married in those!”_

“Oi—”  Rin blushed.

“ _It really suits them, don’t you think?_ ” Makoto said.

_You’re making it worse, Makoto._ Rin carried the laptop back to the coffee table.  Haru scooted back this time, making space for Rin to sit on the front half of the cushion, between Haru’s knees.

Rin set the laptop on the table as Haru leaned against him.

_“Here you go, Nagisa-kun.”_   Gou returned, coming on screen with a mug.  She perched on the edge of the bunk.  _“Be careful, it’s hot.”_

_“Oh, thank you, Gou-chan!”_

_“Let me know if you like it.  Exactly fifty grams per cup is the optimal ratio—not what the package says.”_   Gou smiled at the screen.  _“Right, Seijuurou?”_

Rin glanced sidelong at his former captain.

Mikoshiba went red, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Ah, haha…”

Nagisa sipped.  _“It’s delicious!”_

_“Thanks!  Just wait until tonight—the cake I made is my own recipe.  I used three different flavors.  It has more protein than sugar!”_

Rin winced.  _Not faulting your enthusiasm, Gou, but…_

“Gou-san’s homemade cake!”  Momo wailed, flopping face-down onto the bean bag chair.  Muffled noises ensued as he lay there, kicking.

While Gou, Rei, and Mikoshiba started a very serious discussion on protein powder recipes, Haru rested his chin on Rin’s shoulder.  “How is it that you cook normal, when your sister…?”

Rin snorted.  “Oh, like you can talk with your pineapple- _saba_ obsession.”

“At least nothing I make comes in powder form, in a canister.”

“ _Tch_.  If they made _saba_ -flavored protein powder, you know you’d be all over that.”

Haru went quiet, his eyes widening.  “That sounds amazing.  Do you think—?”

“—Forget I brought it up.”  Rin scowled.  “And don’t go switching majors just so you can invent crap like that.”

Haru smiled, amusement lighting in his eyes.  “So a career designing pools is OK and art is OK, but _saba_ food science—”

“—is a deal breaker.”  Rin folded his arms, giving his lover a mock glare.

The mirth in blue eyes grew.  “Good to know, Rin.”  Haru’s arms wound around his waist.  “Fortunately, I love you more than _saba_ , so…”  Warm lips grazed Rin’s cheek.

“I should fucking hope so,” Rin muttered.  “I’m not sharing you with fish, Haru.”  He turned his head, catching the next kiss on the lips.

“ _Ooh, it’s the Barcelona replay_ ,” Nagisa said.

_Damnit_.  Rin blushed to the tips of his ears, breaking the kiss.  Nagisa was smiling slyly, holding his cup of protein powder hot chocolate.  Next to him, Rei’s face was bright red and Gou was covering her smile with her hands.  Makoto stayed behind the camera.

“It’s non-stop with these two,” Mikoshiba said.  “The team’s used to it, though.” 

Rin’s face burned.  “Oi—”

Nagisa chuckled.  “ _Better get serious about the wedding.  I bet Haru-chan’ll propose first_.”

“ _Nagisa-kun, I have to disagree_ ,” Rei said, adjusting his glasses.  “ _From what I’ve heard about your childhood relay, I have to think Rin-senpai would be the one asking repeatedly until Haruka-senpai finally agreed_.”

“ _Guys, this is really personal stuff_ ,” Makoto said offscreen.  “ _We shouldn’t tease them about it_.”  He paused.  “ _My money’s on Haru, though_.”

Gou giggled.  “ _We can start a pool!  For who and when_.”

Haru sighed.  “That kind of pool…”

“ _Speaking of proposals…what about you two?_ ”  Gou turned, peering at Nagisa and Rei.

The pair went purple, waving her off.  Nagisa laughed.  “ _Wahh, Gou-chan, what are you talking about?  We’re not…_ ”

Rei smiled nervously.  “ _Gou-san, why, that’s_ —” 

Gou folded her arms.  “ _Hmph.  You aren’t fooling anyone_.”

Momo rolled off the bean bag chair and came over with wide eyes.  “Nagisacchi’s getting married?”  He plopped down on the floor, rocking towards the screen.  “Can I be in the wedding?  Can I?  Huh?”

Nagisa grinned.  “ _Of course, Momo-chan!  You have to be there!_ ”

“ _Gah!_ ”  Rei pulled his own hair.  “ _What wedding?_ ”

Intelligible conversation broke down after that and Nagisa and Rei had to start getting ready for their final exams.  It took a while for everyone to say their goodbye’s, but the screen eventually went dark.

Haru got up, closing his laptop.

Momo slumped down onto his side on the floor.  “Gou-sannn…”

A phone trilled, everyone reaching into their pockets—

“Ah, haha…”  Mikoshiba slipped off the couch, grinning awkwardly as he lifted the phone to his ear and made a beeline for his bedroom.  “Hi,” he said quietly.  “Just a sec.”  He disappeared into his room and closed the door.

_Tch._   Rin folded his arms.

Momo rolled across the floor, whining.

“I’ll put this away,” Haru said, looking wistful as he turned for the hall.

There was a buzzing sound.  Haru pulled out his phone, his gaze warming as he glanced down at the caller.  He answered en route to their room.  “Makoto.”

Momo was inch-worming towards the door.

Rin arched a brow.  “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Hee.”  The kid rolled to his feet, brushing dust from his warmup jacket.  “I’m gonna visit Sada-nee.”  He skipped out the door before Rin could even think of getting up.

_Whatever_.  Rin shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket.  Haru had left the bedroom door open and Rin could hear him talking in a low voice, though not what was said.  _I’m not jealous._   But he wasn’t about to sit here pseudo-eavesdropping, either.  Rin left the couch, going for the balcony doors and stepping outside. 

It was a mild night, breezy and clear.  Voices and laughter carried from other balconies of their tower; athletes were playing tennis in the courts down below.  Haru and Makoto texted fairly regularly, but as far as Rin knew, the last time they’d talked on the phone had been in Spain, after Haru’s injury.  Which…was about the last time he’d spoken to Sousuke, too.

Rin leaned against the rail, the Japanese flag fluttering against its tiedowns in the slight breeze.  He took his phone out, thumbing through his contacts.

The call connected on the third ring.  “… _Rin?_ ” Sousuke’s voice was gravelly.

“Shit, did I wake you?  I thought you’d be up for class.”

Sousuke stifled a yawn.  “ _My last exam was on Friday.  So I’m done for a couple weeks.  Doesn’t matter, Rin_.”  He could hear the smile in Sousuke’s voice.  “ _I’d take your call anytime_.”

“ _Tch._  Softie.”

Sousuke chuckled.  “ _So?  How’s Village life?_ ”

Rin shrugged.  “Feels like training camp.  Between practice, meals, and curfew, there’s some down time.  Not a lot.”

“ _Doesn’t live up to all the hype and stories?_ ”

Rin cleared his throat.  “Well, we did find someone’s underwear in the elevator yesterday.  No one fessed up to it.”

“ _Yeah, Takara told me.  Said you guys were daring each other to check for a name on the label_.”

“A member of the field hockey team eventually did it.  They started a wall of shame on the fifth floor, them and the football team and a roll of tape.” 

“ _Huh.  Sounds about right_.”

Rin turned, glancing over two balconies.  The apartment Takara, Konishi, and Ozawa shared was dark.  “That time I asked you about Sakamoto, you said there was nothing going on between you two.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line.  “ _We’re friends.  Why do you ask?_ ”

“It’s none of my business,” Rin said.  But for all the talk about them being rivals after Haru’s heart…Takara never really seemed upset about him and Haru getting together—not the way she almost flipped out at Sada on Tuesday.  Haru once said she was playing games.  Maybe he was right.  “She likes you, huh?”

Sousuke snorted.  “ _You’re just realizing that now, Rin?  You’re so dense about these things_.”

“Hey—”  Rin frowned.

“ _We hung out off and on, last year.  She wanted more; I didn’t.  I was always up front about things with her.  But some people get attached, after_.”

Rin’s face heated, though it wasn’t any huge surprise.  _You two always seemed pretty familiar with each other._

“ _To be fair, I did open up to her about a few things.  I never directly mentioned you, but she figured it out_.”

Rin stilled, the breeze sifting through his hair.  _Then it was a game.  She was trying to make me jealous on purpose…_

“ _It’s not like you and Nanase needed any help.  Tell me if I’m wrong, but I doubt anything she did made a difference_.”

Rin thought all the way back to the Japan Swim, to a near-kiss poolside and ‘good morning’ dares.  He pressed his lips.  _If anything, the fact that you and I were fighting—about him—had more of an impact._   “So.  Friends, huh?”

“ _We’ll see what happens.  For now, I’m taking it easy.  It wouldn’t be fair of me to rebound to her.  Not with the way she feels_.”

Rin’s breath threaded out through his teeth, an awkward feeling settling in his stomach.  He didn’t know what to say.  “Sorry to bring it up.”

“ _No worries, Rin.  I’m in a much better place than I was.  Now that you’re finally owning it_.”  Sousuke paused.  “ _Dummy_ ,” he said, his voice affectionate.

Rin relaxed.

“ _How’s Nanase’s wrist?_ ”

Rin scrubbed a hand through his hair, straightening from the rail.  “Today’s the third day he’s been a zero on the pain scale.  We’re still taping it and being cautious though.  No breathless fifties or all-out sprints.”

“ _You’ve forgiven yourself yet?_ ”

Rin paused, holding his breath as a familiar ache went through his chest.  “Still working on that one.”

Sousuke sighed on the other end of the line.

“How’s the shoulder?”

“ _The same.  I’ve had some more tests done and met with the surgeons and physical therapists.  We’ve got it all mapped out.  The surgery’s moved up to this month—Friday, the 19 th_.”

The air emptied from Rin’s lungs.  “That’s like three weeks—”

“ _The sooner I get it done, the better.  More recovery time before summer vacation’s over_.”

“Sousuke…”  Rin bit down on his lower lip.

“ _This is why I don’t tell you these things.  You need to focus on what you’ve got going on, not worry about me_.”

_Like it’d be better if you didn’t say anything._   “Just—”

“ _I’ll be fine, Rin_.”

Rin heard footsteps and turned, seeing Haru in the main room, their eyes meeting through the glass.  “OK,” he said, his voice hard.  “But I’m holding you to it.”

Sousuke chuckled.  “ _That’s fair_.”

They lapsed into silence.  Haru was still there, not waiting exactly, but it was as if he knew Rin needed him nearby.

An alarm clock sounded through the phone, Sousuke grunting as he turned it off.  “ _I’d better get going.  And you should get back to taper, huh?_ ”

“Ah.”  Rin closed his eyes. 

“ _Thanks for calling, Rin.  Take it easy_.”

“Yeah.”  Rin swallowed.  “You too.”

He returned the phone to his pocket, heading back inside. 

Haru met him on the other side of the glass door.  “Everything OK?”

Rin nodded.  Haru’s eyes flicked across his face…then Haru had his hand, pulling gently.  Rin let himself be led into their bedroom.  Haru closed the door.

Beside the beds, they undressed quietly, stripping down to their _sakura_ square legs and climbing between the sheets.  Rin curled up against Haru’s chest, cradling Haru’s wrist in both hands.  There were still faint red lines on Haru’s skin from the tape he’d worn for practice. 

Rin kissed Haru’s wrist reverently, then wove their fingers together.  “I’m glad you didn’t need surgery.”  _I’m glad I didn’t fuck you up that bad._

“I’m pretty sturdy, Rin.”

Rin blinked, the word striking him comically.  “Sturdy…like you’re furniture or something.”

“Well, not _these_ beds.”  Haru shifted, making the bed creak.  “Our Málaga bed, maybe.”

Rin sighed, tucking his head beneath Haru’s chin, hearing the steady beat of Haru’s heart under his ear.  “If I had a time machine…”  _I’d go back there and hit the ‘pause’ button._   He kissed Haru’s chest, the ridge of a collarbone, the side of Haru’s neck…  Rin felt the delicate tremor that went through Haru’s body as he lingered there.

Haru exhaled, his right arm tightening around Rin’s torso.  “Are we taking a nap?  Or our daily cold shower?”

Rin settled on top, lifting his gaze to the desire gathering in Haru’s eyes.  “Both?”

Haru smiled and Rin sank down against inviting lips.

-x-

After a six hundred meter warm up, Rin hit the wall, catching his breath as Haru climbed out of the pool ahead of him.  It was their second night of late swimming practice; this session was at the Athletes’ Park, just up the road from the Village.  The 50m practice pool was one of several temporary structures that housed training facilities for basketball and handball, judo, gymnastics, and wrestling, with a separate free weights gym.  It was walkable from the Village; Rin, Haru, and several members of the team had chosen to come over early, taking advantage of the clear night and cooler air.

“We’re working individual events again tonight,” Coach Fujino said, once the team had assembled behind the blocks.  “Lanes one through four will be fly and breast, lanes five through eight will be back and free, with lanes zero and nine available for staying loose between sets.  Drills are head-to-head for all 100 and 200-meter events.  We’ll finish out with IM.”  Fujino smiled.  “Everything is race speeds.  Some of you won’t get much of a break.”

_You’re enjoying this too much, Coach._

“Alright.”  Fujino rubbed his palms together.  “Fly and back 200’s are up first; men in lanes one, two, five, and six, women in three, four, seven, and eight.”

Rin exhaled, leaving Haru as he headed for the right side of the pool and lanes one and two. 

Kawamura was pulling on his swim cap.  “Which lane?”

“No preference,” Rin said.

The guy shrugged, turning for the start block on lane one.

Rin had Kawamura on his right and Ozawa on his left.  On the other half of the pool, the Mikoshiba brothers were dropping into the water on lanes five and six and climbing onto the backstroke holds.

“Nii-chan, I’m gonna win!”

“Haha!  We’ll see, Momotarou!”

Rin adjusted his start block and settled his cap and goggles into place.  At the whistle, he stepped up and positioned his feet, feeling Haru’s gaze.  He bent down, grasping the block.

“ _Take your marks_ ,” Fujino said in English.

Rin tensed, focusing on the water ahead of him—

At the signal, he dove, slicing into the water and coming up to fly.  He paced himself for the first fifty meters, keeping even with Kawamura through the open turn.  The guy always liked to hang back, happy to let Rin set the initial speeds.  Cheering met Rin’s ears as they started back across the pool—eight names being shouted along with the rhythmic chanting he remembered from the Japan Open.  At the end of a hundred meters, Rin was slightly ahead, but Kawamura caught up by the time they reached the final turn…  That was when the guy took off—all raw power for the last thirty-five meters.  Rin came up to his sprint, punishing the water with his stroke, but he still finished second. 

_Damnit._   He propped his goggles on his forehead, breathing hard.

The cheering continued as the others finished their races.

Momo was whining several lanes over.

“It’s all the desserts, Momotarou!  I keep telling you!”  Mikoshiba grinned, bobbing in the water.

“Nice race, Matsuoka,” Kawamura said. 

“Ah.”  Rin accepted a fist bump over the line. 

“Alright, five minutes rest,” Coach Fujino said from behind the blocks on lanes four and five.  “Breast and free 200’s are up next.”

Rin climbed out of the pool, going for his water bottle. 

Haru was there, eyeing him askance.  “I _guess_ I can go easy on you, if you need me to.”

“Don’t you dare.”  Rin glared at his lover. 

Haru smiled.

Rin didn’t mind going back-to-back—Ozawa was in the same boat, so it wasn’t like he was the only one.  Plus, any opportunity to race with Haru was what he lived for.  It was the race after this one that had a knot forming in his stomach.

Haru took lane six beside Takara, so Rin stepped up to lane five with Otani on his right.  As Haru slipped his goggles over his eyes, Rin’s gaze caught on the tape, wrapping his lover’s wrist.  _We haven’t done race speeds since..._ their breathless fifty in Sierra Nevada.  They hadn’t seriously gone head-to-head since the Japan Open in May.

Rin exhaled slowly.  “Haru…”

“Don’t baby me, Rin.”  Haru’s eyes flicked in his direction, behind the goggles.  “Or I’ll be leaving you behind.”

Rin’s jaw flexed.  _Fine.  You want me to be serious, I’ll be serious._   The churn of fear was impossible to ignore, but at some point, he really had to believe it was over—that Haru’s wrist would be fine.  But he still shot a silent plea towards heaven as he stepped onto the block at the whistle, snapping the strap of his goggles. 

“ _Take your marks.”_

Rin stilled, the block rough against his palms as he waited—

The whistle sounded and the two of them leapt in unison, going into streamline and piercing the water’s surface.  As they dolphin-kicked underwater, Haru surged forward into an early lead.  Rin made it up as soon as they went to stroke, matching the aggressive pace Haru set.  It was the upper end of what was reasonable for 200 meters, but then, Haru was fresh.

Haru led into the turn for the first fifty, Rin content to stay two strokes behind as they raced back towards the start.  At the hundred, he dug in, catching up underwater and surging forward.  His lead was short-lived as Haru came up to a sprint, flying by him towards the final turn as their teammates cheered. 

Rin hit the wall a split second after, chasing Haru through the final underwater phase and the last fifty meters.  He was closing the gap with each stroke but it wasn’t going to be enough.  The lane markers disappeared behind them—twenty-five meters, fifteen, five—

As Rin stretched for the wall, he saw from the corner of his eye how Haru took an extra stroke, circling over top with his right hand—

In that sliver of time, Rin touched first.  He clung to the side, heaving for breath, stunned.  Not once since his return from Australia had he bested Haru in the 200 free.  _I only won because of your injury—the sprain I caused._   Guilt flooded him.  It got worse when he looked over at Haru—at the way Haru yanked off his cap and goggles in a rare outward display of frustration.  _I can’t remember you ever being irritated in the pool._

Takara and Akamine finished in lanes seven and eight; it was another twenty seconds or so before all of the breaststroke swimmers were done in the first four lanes.  The cheering finally died down, Coach Fujino declared another break, and Haru was the first one out of the pool.

“Fujino-sensei, I need my left hand back.”  Haru was bowing, dripping on the deck, his cap and goggles clutched tightly in one hand.

“I understand this is difficult, Nanase-kun, but you need to trust our medical staff.”

Haru straightened, letting out a measured breath. 

“When they clear you and not before,” Fujino said.

“…Hai.”  Haru bowed a second time, crisply, and turned away.  But instead of heading for his water bottle, he went to the side of the pool, where the trainers were set up.  “Kasai-san.”

Rin’s heart broke, knowing what it meant to Haru—not being free to swim his best.  He felt awful on multiple fronts—not only because of Haru’s wrist, but because of the pressure he added.  Back in high school, Haru didn’t care about times or medals.  _You said I was the one who changed that._

_Fuck_.  Rin grabbed his water bottle, sucking down a few mouthfuls as he tried to center himself.  This was exactly _not_ the way he wanted to go into his biggest showdown of the night—

Sugiyama was standing behind the block on lane one in black and red square legs, smoothing his cap into place. 

Rin had gone one-on-one with the guy four times now—at the NTC, the Japan Open, Canet-en-Roussillon, and Rome.  Three losses and one win that only happened because Sugiyama tanked.  Coach Fujino hadn’t yet started up medley relay practice; anyone would be a fool to think tonight’s races had no bearing on the final roster.

Haru was still over with the trainers when Rin headed to the block on lane two.

“Holding up alright, Matsuoka-kun?” Ozawa asked, from behind the block on lane three.  Neither of them were winded anymore, but by the look in her eyes, she wasn’t exactly thrilled to be doing four back-to-back all out races.  “This is worse than knock-out finals in Bergen.”

“Ah.”  Commiserating helped a little.

“Good luck,” she said.

“Thanks.  You too.”

Haru was walking back, his face unreadable as he rejoined their teammates.  But the whistle was sounding and Rin didn’t have any time to decipher what Haru was thinking.

He adjusted the block carefully and stepped up.  Rin’s muscles were humming and warm; he did his best to shut out the guilt, the fear, the feelings of failure and inadequacy…even his medley relay dream.  Most of all, he ignored the guy on his right in lane one.  Haru liked to say he swam his best when he was relaxed.  _I’m pretty damn far from that, right now._

Rin drew a slow breath as he bent, setting his feet precisely.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

He held his breath, waiting—

The shrill whistle split the air.  Rin’s reaction time was good, his entry was clean.  He dolphin-kicked to fifteen meters, coming up to smooth undulations of fly—the stroke he’d practiced daily as a kid, determined to be like his idol-turned-rival one lane over.  Rin was up with Sugiyama for the first fifty meters, but he was a hairsbreadth behind at the turn.  He went full-on sprint for the back fifty, sailing across the pool, but Sugiyama was pulling ahead a little more with each stroke. 

Rin hit half a stroke behind his rival to loud cheers from their teammates.  As he caught his breath, his heart sank.  _Will I never be good enough to beat you?_   Unless Sugiyama cracked under pressure again, how could Coach Fujino choose anyone else for the fly leg of the medley?

While Rin held onto the side of the pool, Sugiyama climbed out from lane one.  At least there weren’t any snide remarks aimed Rin’s way.  But the lack was more likely dismissal than respect, coming from that guy.

Rin hoisted himself out of the water, grateful for five minutes of respite before his final race against Haru.  Momo was dancing around behind lane five, making a nuisance of himself with his brother and Sada. 

Rin faded into the forest of gear bags and warmups draped over chairs, searching within for the solitude he couldn’t have right now.  But all he found inside was a jumbled mess of frustration, guilt, and anger largely directed at himself—

The footsteps that followed him were unwelcome.  He needed space to cool down.  _You know that._

Rin sighed without turning.  “Haru, I can’t right now.  Can you give me three minutes?”

“That appears to be what Nanase-kun is doing,” Captain Ikehara said.  “It isn’t, however, what I’m doing.”

Rin whirled, shame heating his cheeks as he bowed quickly.  “Captain, I didn’t mean to—”

Ikehara waved away his apology.  “Don’t worry about it.”  The captain perched a hand on his hip, surveying Rin briefly.  “You OK?  Or not?  I don’t mind asking Coach Fujino for more time if you need it.”

_It’s only my own shit._  “I’m…alright,” Rin said.  “I’ll be ready to go.”

“Good.  Because if you’re not ready, I don’t think he’ll be ready either.”

Rin looked past Ikehara to where Haru was standing stoic behind the block on lane six, facing the water.  Rin’s heart lurched in his chest.  _Haru._

Captain Ikehara lowered his voice, speaking quietly.  “We all have our own stuff we’re dealing with.  Sometimes, the worst thing we can do is listen to the voices in our own heads.  Sometimes it’s better to listen to others, who can see things we can’t about ourselves.”  He smiled.  “That and a deep breath can work wonders.”

Rin drew a slow breath and let it out.  _I guess captains and coaches can’t flip out or storm off at random times._   “Hai,” he said, appreciating the help though he wished he didn’t need it.

Ikehara’s eyes warmed.  “We haven’t even shaved down yet and you’re throwing out sub-51’s like it’s nothing.”

Rin’s eyes widened.  “Huh?”

“You just swam 50.78.  That’s, what, a couple tenths off your best time?  Granted, we’re not talking certified timing, but still.”  The captain shrugged.  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“…Hai.”  Rin’s voice came out hushed; he was still stunned.

“So…still want those three minutes to yourself, or…?”

Rin shook his head.  “No.”  What he wanted, what he needed—

Ikehara stood aside.  “Let me get out of your way.”

Rin exhaled, bowing quickly.  “Captain, thank you.”

“Clock’s ticking, Matsuoka.”

He dipped his head again and left, making his way back to the edge of the pool.  The last three steps, he ran, Haru glancing back just before they collided, though Rin was careful to control his momentum so he wouldn’t bowl his lover over.  He wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist from behind, his face burning.

Haru’s eyes were startled; he was barely breathing.  “…Rin?”

“ _Gomen_ ,” Rin whispered.  “I was doing it again.”

Haru’s gaze softened.  “I know.”

Rin closed his eyes, pressing his forehead to the back of Haru’s swim cap.  “Haru.”

“Hm?”

“You still want this for you, right?  Not because I want this.”

Haru exhaled, Rin feeling the tension bleed from Haru’s limbs.  “I only swim free, Rin.”

Rin’s eyes stung as relief surged through him.  He tightened his arms.  _I love you.  I love that you never waver.  I love that my shit never changes who you are.  I love that my dream is safe with you and your dream is safe with you, too._

“ _Rin,_ ” Haru whispered, the name said with so much love—

“Yumi?  Does this count as ‘in the village?’” Takara asked.

Rin let go, spinning to face not just one but a whole sea of cellphone cameras pointed in their direction.

“The Athletes’ Park is an annex of the Village,” Ozawa said from behind block three.  “So, yes.”  She slipped her goggles into place, smiling.  “Good thing we’re not at the Aquatic Centre, hm?”

“Darn.”  Takara lowered her phone, smirking.  “Lucky break, Matsuoka.  This time.”

For once, Rin had zero words.  He just stood there, feeling like his face would ignite at any moment.

“Is it time to swim yet?” Haru asked.

Coach Fujino checked his watch.  “One more minute, Nanase-kun,” he said, his eyes warm with mirth.

Rin drew another deep breath and turned for his block.  It was the longest minute of his life…

One hundred meters with Haru was over in a heartbeat—one dive, one turn, slapping the wall together.  It was too close for Rin to call and it didn’t matter, either.  Rin raked off his cap and goggles, turning for the line—

Haru was there.  They hugged over the line with their faces pressed into each other’s hair, catching their breath.  The world felt right again, even though Haru’s wrist still needed tape and Rin hadn’t yet won the 100m fly.  But whatever happened, he knew they’d be OK.

Rin drew back enough to see Haru’s face, saving the kisses for later but soaking up the affection in Haru’s eyes now.  He rested their foreheads together, still breathing hard.  “ _Eu te amo,_ Haru.”

Haru’s arms tightened around him.  “ _Eu tamb_ _én te amo_ , Rin.”  Haru smiled, his eyes sparkling.  “Wanna heckle Takara in the 200 IM after this?”

“Oh, hell yes.”  Rin grinned.


	29. Medley & Discord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A _furoshiki_ is a square cloth used in Japan to wrap and/or carry objects like books, bento, etc.

* * *

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2016

* * *

Rin scrutinized his reflection in the bathroom mirror, frowning.  Their Team Japan baseball caps were vibrant red with _Japan_ in white lettering across the brim and the JOC logo above the right ear.  Was the ponytail better or worse?  _No matter what I do, it clashes with my hair._

Haru poked his head into the bathroom.  “Aren’t you done yet?”  They both wore their _sakura_ jackets and black warmup pants.  Haru already had his cap and red sneakers on. 

 _Tch._ Rin eyed his boyfriend via the mirror, envious.  Haru looked good—his black hair and blue eyes were a perfect contrast to the _sakura_ and red.  Meanwhile…  “I look like a strawberry.”

Haru perused him for a moment, then shrugged.  “Look on the bright side.  If you start crying or blushing, no one will notice.”

“ _Oi!_ ”  Rin chased his lover from the bathroom, catching up in the main part of their room, near the door.  He hooked an arm around Haru’s shoulders, dragging him close.

Haru’s eyes danced with mirth.  “You’re doing it already.”

Rin growled in his throat.  “Haru—”

Lips muffled his words, Haru angling his head to keep the brims of their caps out of the way.

 _Damnit._   As much as Rin tried to cling to his annoyance, it vanished beneath the soft insistence of Haru’s kiss and the hands that settled on his waist.

“I hate it when you do that,” Rin muttered, when Haru finally drew back.

“No you don’t,” Haru said.

Rin exhaled, his lips tingling from Haru’s kiss.  _Yeah, I really don’t._

Haru’s eyes warmed.  “Rin.”  He set their brims together with a quiet tap.

“Hm?” 

“At least your hair’s not fluffy and orange, you know.”

Rin chuckled, unable to help the mental picture as he pulled away to grab his sneakers.  “Since when do you have an eye for color-coordination?”

“Nn.  You’re rubbing off on me, I guess.”

Smiling, Rin got his shoes tied and they headed out into the living room.

“Hey, you guys are finally ready?” Mikoshiba was standing next to the sofa, fully dressed and grinning, with bits of bright orange hair jutting out from underneath his red cap. 

Rin pressed his lips; his imagination had not done this justice.  _Wow, you should never wear a baseball cap._

Haru’s eyes flicked to him aside, like, _See?_

Rin cleared his throat roughly.  “Uh, where’s—”

“Rin-senpai!  Nanase-senpai!”  Momo bounded out of the bedroom he shared with his brother, glomming onto Rin.  The cap looked slightly more natural on the kid, though it made Momo look like a middle-schooler.

 _Well, I guess the only one rocking this is you, Haru._   Rin peeled the kid off him.  “Hey, Momo.”

“Is it time to go?”  Momo went running for the door before waiting for a response.

“Haha, wait for me, Momotarou!”  Mikoshiba went after him.

The brothers spilled out the door, leaving it wide open behind them.

Rin sighed.

Haru caught his hand, sliding their fingers together.  “Ready, Rin?”

Rin glanced over, meeting the smile in Haru’s eyes, the quiet eagerness within fields of blue.  _Isn’t that my line, dummy?_   He tugged Haru towards the door.  “You’re looking forward to this?  It’s gonna be a lot of standing and talking and pictures…”

“The sooner this is over, the sooner we can swim, after.”

 _There it is._   Rin chuckled, locking the door as they headed out.

-x-

The Team Welcome Ceremony was held at the Village Plaza, a Rio official with a sign leading them from their tower in a procession across the Village grounds.  The full Japanese team was now in residence—over 330 athletes in thirty different disciplines.  Athletics had the most competitors, followed by swimming, and then rugby.  Beneath cloudy afternoon skies, they gathered in a sea of _Japan_ baseball caps and _sakura_ on the plaza, where a small contingent waited to greet them in front of the welcome pavilion.  Each member of the team got two small flags on sticks—one for Japan and one for Brazil.

“ _Bem-vindo ao Rio!_ ”  There was a short intro by the Rio organizing committee, followed by music, dancers performing in colorful outfits, cheering, flag-waving, and a lot of posing for pictures taken by JOC staff.  After, a hush swept through the crowd.  It was difficult to see what was going on, but their teammates were taking off their caps, murmurs of, “It’s the President of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Committee,” being passed down the line.

Rin gladly pulled off his hat, righting a few stray hairs.

Beside him, Haru was frowning.  “I can’t see,” he muttered.

“Want me to pick you up?” Rin asked.

Haru’s glance was frosty and perfect; Rin grinned as he turned his attention forward, trying to peer between bodies for more than a glimpse of the gray-haired man in a suit and tie.  All he could really see were the boom mics and cameras being held aloft.  The Tokyo 2020 President said a few words—which Rin couldn’t make out—then the boom mics were drifting, following him as he moved through the crowd, greeting athletes.

“Do you think we can go yet?” Haru whispered.

“Probably not.  I think we’re supposed to stay and mingle.”

“Mn.  I don’t mingle, Rin.”

Rin slipped an arm around his lover’s shoulders, waving his small Japanese flag.  “Aw, come on.  This is supposed to be exciting and festive.”

Haru exhaled.  “How am I supposed to celebrate when there isn’t _saba_ or fireworks—”

“—Here they are, President Hamada,” Coach Fujino said.  “Nanase-kun and Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin inhaled, hastily taking his arm back as he and Haru found themselves face-to-face with the Tokyo 2020 President and his entourage of cameras.

The gray-haired man smiled, extending his hand towards Haru.  “Of course.  I recognize the two of you from your billboard in Shibuya, not to mention the notifications I get, every time one of our athletes breaks a national record.”

Rin clasped the man’s hand in turn, bowing low.  “President Hamada.”

“For a while there, it was almost a daily occurrence.”  Hamada wore a navy-blue suit with a faint pinstripe, a blue dress shirt, and a dark-colored tie.  “I’m eager to see what the two of you will do on the world’s stage.  Certainly, the competition will be fierce, but from what I’ve heard—Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun—you already demonstrate the fortitude and perseverance to meet your challenges head-on, not to mention relying on camaraderie and teamwork to pull you through.  Athletes like you are the face of Tokyo 2020.”

They bowed deeply, Rin barely breathing as he fought to contain himself.  _How the heck did we get on this guy’s radar??_

“I understand your wrist is doing better, Nanase-kun?”

“Hai.”  Haru dipped his head as he straightened.  “It is much better.  Thank you, President Hamada.”

“Excellent news.”  The man smiled kindly.  “Good luck to both of you.  I know you’ll represent us well.”

“Hai,” they said in unison, bowing a third time and staying low as the man moved on.

Rin waited until the crowd of Japanese athletes concealed the President and the cameras once again…  He straightened, gulping for air.  _No way._   Rin threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders, unable to hold back.  _Did that really happen?_

Haru blinked, looking stunned—well, as stunned as Haru ever looked.  “Isn’t he really important and busy…?”

Rin flicked his eyes skyward.  “Yeah, dummy!  That’s why—”  He gave up, sighing.  Rin freed one hand, waving his twin flags just beyond Haru’s nose.  “Haru, we’re in Rio now, but—”

Haru met his gaze, his eyes softening.  “—we’re on our way to Tokyo 2020.  In-between someday and forever.”

Rin’s breath caught.  “Haru…”  Without their caps on, it was easy to get close, their lips meeting in a brush; their noses and foreheads touching as they stood together, smiling at each other.

“Wonder Twins, ugh!”  A hat bounced off Rin’s arm, its owner weaving through the crowd with fire in her eyes.  Takara glared at both of them, but at Rin in particular.  Her long black hair was caught up into a ponytail.

Rin leaned back, not bothering to let go.  “You’re the one who started calling us that, Sakamoto.  I can’t help it if the name fits.”

“Don’t be mean, Rin,” Haru said, jabbing him in the obliques with a thumb.

Rin grunted, pulling away before Haru found a ticklish spot.

Takara snatched her cap off the ground, exhaling roughly as she straightened.  “Don’t think this is over, Matsuoka.  We’ll settle this in the pool, starting Saturday.”  With that, she spun away and marched off.

Rin watched her leave.  “I don’t get it,” he murmured.  “What are we still rivals for?”

“Dunno.  Sponsorships?”  Haru shrugged.  “I don’t think Takara needs a reason to be rivals.”

Rin snorted.  “She’s one of those, huh?”

Haru cocked a brow.

Rin mock-glared at his lover.  _I am not like that._

Haru smiled.

-x-

They hung out at the leisure pool after the welcome ceremony, throwing on Team Japan T-shirts and shorts when Rin was finally able to pry Haru out of the water.  The sun set while they ate lunch at the dining hall.  At dusk, Rin and Haru headed back to their apartment to relax a bit before evening practice.

Momo’s sneakers were strewn about the entryway of their apartment, while Mikoshiba’s shoes were placed neatly inside the door.  In the common area, the kid was upside-down on the beanbag chair in sweatpants and a hoodie, with a comic book in hand and his stuffed otter perched on his stomach.  Mikoshiba was out on the balcony with the sliding door closed, talking on the phone.

Rin’s eyebrow twitched.  _If that’s my sister again, you’re sharing a lot more airtime than just emails._

“Nanase-senpai!  Rin-senpai!”  Momo rolled off the beanbag, sending his stuffed animal tumbling to the floor.  “Look!  Mail!”

There were two packages on their coffee table, one tube and one flat box.

Haru went immediately for the cardboard tube.  “Is it _saba_?”  He picked it up, reading the shipping label.

“I thought you said your parents sent a care package to Arizona,” Rin said, following.  The flat box was addressed to him, from his mom.

“There’s no such thing as too much _saba_ , Rin.”

_I disagree._

“Oh.  It’s from Haseda.”  Haru broke the tape over one end of the tube, pulling off the plastic cap.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, thinking of Málaga and billboards and a sunset beach...  His face heated.  “Were you expecting anything from her?”

“No.”  Haru withdrew a glossy cylinder, wrapped in plastic and secured by rubber bands—

Rin stared, cheeks burning, at five poster-sized prints laid out on the floor.  They were all from their photoshoot in Málaga—two underwater, one from the leisure pool, and two from the beach.  Each print was done up like an ad with the company logo, swimsuit information, and their names…except for the sunset picture.  _That_ photo was clean—just Rin, Haru, and the sunset beach…it was just as provocative as Rin remembered.

“‘Guessing your flat could use some decorations,’” Haru read from an attached slip of paper, “‘Cheers, Haseda.’  …She sent these, too.”  He held up a package of mounting squares that wouldn’t damage the wall.

Momo got down on the floor, scooting from one poster to the next.  “Rin-senpai, Nanase-senpai, you’re racing in these pictures!”  In the center poster, they were reclining against the edge of the leisure pool in matching black, white, and gold suits.  “It’s like our Rio suits!”

Rin covered his face with one hand.  “Except for the _sakura_.”  _I can’t believe this._

“Look, a beach!”  Then Momo got very quiet—

 _Oh God._ “Haru, put that one away.”  Rin finally remembered how to move, grabbing Momo around the shoulders and clapping a hand over the kid’s eyes. 

“Hee, Rin-senpai.  What were you _doing_ in that picture?”

“Nothing!”

There was a faint blush in Haru’s cheeks as he rolled up the sunset poster and carried it into their room.

Rin let the kid go, sitting back and fanning his face.

Momo rocked side-to-side, grinning.  “Were you…hooking up with Nanase-senpai?”

Mikoshiba stepped inside, closing the glass door behind him.  “Matsuoka, what are you discussing with my brother?”

“We’re one hundred percent _not_ discussing anything,” Rin muttered.

“Nii-chan, look!”  Momo pointed at the posters.

“Oh, from the photoshoot, huh?”  Mikoshiba came over, surveying the pictures. 

“I wanna do a photoshoot!”  Momo wiggled.

“Haha, someday, Momotarou!  But only if you take care of your body, eat right, and stay away from girls until you’re older!”

“Awww.”  The kid pouted, rolling onto his back on the floor.

Haru closed the door to their bedroom, joining them.

Mikoshiba straightened, propping his hands on his hips.  “Well, let’s decide where to hang these.”

“You don’t mind, Mikoshiba?” Haru asked.

“Hey, it’s better than bare walls,” the guy said, grinning.

In short order, they had the underwater posters hung opposite the sofa, the leisure pool pic in the unfinished kitchen, and the strolling-on-the-beach photo near the balcony.  That done, Momo flopped onto the beanbag chair with his comic book and Mikoshiba disappeared into his room.

“Still wanna try a nap, Rin?” Haru asked.

Rin thrust a hand through his hair.  “Yeah.”  He picked up the flat box addressed to him, following Haru into their room—

Haru’s idea of putting the sunset poster away was apparently hanging the thing in their bedroom below the AC unit…opposite the beds.

Rin swallowed hard.  “Haru, you can’t put that there.”

“Why not?”  Haru sat down on the edge of his bed, looking at the poster.  “You said you were OK with us having it.”

Rin crossed the room slowly, sitting down on his bed.  From here, he had a full and entrancing view of the miffed look Haru was giving the camera, the water and sand clinging to their skin, and the unfiltered desire in his own gaze, focused on his lover.  Rin tore his eyes away, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked out through glass doors to the night beyond the balcony.  “When we’re not doing the rule, it’s fine.”  _Like I need to be reminded—in bed of all places—of how much I want you._

Haru was quiet for a moment.  “OK.  I’ll take it down.”  He got up, starting to peel the poster off the wall.

Rin inhaled.  “You don’t have to—”  His cheeks heated again.  “Just not _there_.”

Haru glanced over, reading Rin’s face…then his eyes softened.  “OK.”  He finished pulling the poster down, surveying the rest of the room.  Eventually, he hung it just inside the door, where it would be out of sight when the door was open.  “How’s that?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”  It was visible from the bed, but at a sharp angle.

Haru came back, sitting down and still looking at the poster.

“You like it that much?” Rin asked.

Haru nodded.  “I think about Spain a lot.  It reminds me of what I’m looking forward to.”

Rin’s breath caught, even as his face went hot.  “Haru…” he said, his voice hushed.

Haru turned towards him, reaching out to lay a hand over his, against the bedding.  “I want to wait for now,” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper.  “But every day I anticipate it a little more—when this is done and I’ll get to make love with you again.”

Rin’s head filled with expletives, his stomach free-falling, and his heart doing all kinds of crazy shit in his chest.  In that moment, he didn’t know what to do first—kiss Haru, push him down to the bed, _or propose right-fucking-now_.  Because he knew— _knew_ —that he was head-over-heels, no-going-back, 200% whipped and in love.  His hand curled beneath Haru’s, clutching the sheets and the last shreds of his sanity…

Rin pulled away, rolling onto his stomach and shoving his face into his pillow.  “Haru, what the fuck?”

“I can’t understand you when you talk into the pillow, Rin.”

Rin lifted his head.  “When the fuck did you start talking like that?”

“I’m trying to be more romantic for you.  …Is it working?”

Rin levered himself up and whacked Haru with the pillow.  “What do you think, you ass?”

Haru glanced at the pillow, flicked his gaze to Rin’s face…and smiled with his eyes.  He slipped off his sandals, settling cross-legged on the bed and looking content.  “Are you gonna open that?”

“Huh?” Rin blinked.

Haru reached across him, picking up the box that was perilously close to falling off Rin’s bed.

“Oh.”  Rin sat up, kicking his sandals to the floor.  He took the package from Haru and exhaled slowly, staring down at his mom’s English lettering.  She didn’t say she was sending anything.

“…Wanna be alone?” Haru asked.

Rin shook his head.  “Nah.”  He got up, grabbing the scissors from his toiletry kit so he could cut through the tape.

Inside, nestled snuggly in packing material was a rectangular object wrapped in a _furoshiki_ with a note pinned to the fabric.

_[I’m not sure where the digital copy is, but I found this and I wanted you to have it with you in Rio.  Love, Mom.]_

Rin’s fingers trembled as he reached for the knot and slowly worked it free, a lump forming in his throat.  He lifted panels of patterned emerald fabric, one corner at a time—

Rin’s eyes filled with tears, the edge of the _furoshiki_ falling from his fingertips.  In the framed picture, Rin and his dad were sitting on the _tatami_ mats in their house with the TV on in the background.  They were wearing Team Japan T-shirts with the Athens 2004 Olympic logo and waving little Japanese flags on sticks.  Rin’s dad had an arm around his shoulders, his hand mussing Rin’s hair.  They were both grinning at the camera.

A tear splashed against the glass as his memories took over—

_“But Mom, it’s starting!”  On TV, the camera was zooming in on the Olympic Stadium in Athens, all lit up against the night sky for the Opening Ceremony.  He could already hear the cheering and see the camera flashes—_

_“Just one picture, Rin.  It’ll only take a sec.”_

_His dad messed up his hair.  “Come on, Rin.  Take a picture with me.”_

_“Aw, Dad!”  He twisted, facing his mom and her handheld camera._

_“OK, ‘Go Team Japan’ on three, ready?  One, two, three—”_

_“Go Team Japan!”_

Rin’s fingers dug into packing material as more tears fell.  _Dad—_

The mattress creaked in protest as Haru shifted on the bed, scooting closer and brushing away a corner of the _furoshiki_ that had fallen across the picture.

Rin lifted his head, tears and all—

Love was waiting for him, soft and endless, in the blue of Haru’s eyes.  No one could give Rin his dad back and Haru wasn’t some kind of replacement or substitute.  Haru was _Haru_.  The love, the steadiness, the companionship Haru freely offered was slowly stitching together gashes in Rin’s heart that had long since bled dry in his negligence.  It _hurt_ , reopening those wounds, but this time he knew he was healing.

“Rin—”  Haru’s lips formed the name in a whisper, a warm palm flattening against the side of Rin’s face, the slow caress of a thumb disrupting the trails of his tears—

Rin threw himself into his lover’s arms, the two of them falling across the beds.  Rin’s tears soaked into Haru’s T-shirt as gentle fingers roved through his hair.

-x-

Night practice was at the warmup pool, adjacent to the Aquatic Centre.  Rin sat backwards in a chair in his _sakura_ square legs, his arms folded on the backrest as Kasai finished taping Haru’s wrist.  Haru was sitting on one of the treatment tables, by the side of the pool.

“It’s the sharp, hyperextension of the wrist that we’re concerned about, Nanase-kun,” Kasai said, using her own arm to demonstrate, with her hand flexed ninety degrees from her wrist and her palm outward.  “This backwards bend—” she pressed on her hand for emphasis “—is how you sprained your scapholunate ligament in the first place.  It’s the same orientation you use to hit the wall at the end of a race.”  Kasai reached for Haru’s left arm again.  “The tape here—” she indicated the two bands of tape she’d placed above and below the ulnar styloid “— _reduces_ the risk of aggravating the ligament, but doesn’t completely eliminate it.”  She placed a third, larger strip of tape over top.  “I’m not trying to scare you.  The risk _is_ low, but it goes up the harder you hit the wall.”  Kasai smiled.  “And I know how hard you like to hit the wall, especially when Matsuoka-kun is in the lane next to you.”

 _Mn._   Rin rested his chin atop his folded arms. 

“Just, you know, think of it as shaking hands with the wall, a nice ‘hi, it’s great to meet you’ little tap versus a full-force slap to the face.” 

Haru inhaled, letting the breath out slowly.  “…Hai.”

Kasai sighed, returning the supplies to her kit.  “I know.  No one ever won a race being polite with the wall.  Give it a shot tonight, Nanase-kun, and let me know how it feels, afterwards.”

Rin’s head popped up.

Haru’s eyes widened.  “You’re clearing me to use it?”

“For tonight, sure.  We’ll reevaluate tomorrow, though, or tonight if it starts bothering you before the end of practice.”

Rin gripped the chairback.  _Haru_.  He was half-elated, half-terrified…

“ _Hai_ ,” Haru said, his voice thick.  He glanced over at Rin, his blue eyes shining.

Rin did his best to muster a smile for Haru’s sake.

“Thank you, Kasai-san,” Haru said.

_“Em português por favor!”_

_“Obrigado,_ Kasai-san _.”_

Kasai clapped her hands, gleeful.  _“De nada,_ Nanase-kun! _”_

Haru slid off the treatment table, coming over to where Rin was sitting.  “You’re gonna worry all night?”

Rin snorted.  “No.”  _Just…every time you hit the wall._

Haru smiled knowingly.  He offered his wrist and Rin exhaled, kissing the tape and cradling the limb against his cheek.  He didn’t care who was watching, though his face warmed when he saw Kasai giggle before she turned away to attend to other things.

“ _Well, nothing to see here_ ,” a familiar voice said in accented English.  “ _Just a couple of guys having a Hallmark moment beside the pool.  Right, Rin?_ ”

Rin shot to his feet, whirling.  “Ty!”

The blond Australian swimmer was grinning, decked out in green and gold warmups.  _“Hey!”_

Rin shook hands with his friend.  _“It’s about time you showed up.”_   Several members of the Australian swim team were gathered on the opposite side of the pool.

_“Me?  You’re the one who hasn’t mailed me back in weeks.”_

Rin felt the punch of emotion in his chest and Ty’s face softened.

_“Been a bit of a rough go, huh?”_

_“Yeah,”_ Rin said, letting out a breath.  _“You could say that.”_

 _“Haruka.”_   Ty turned, offering his hand.  _“How’s the wrist, mate?”_

Haru shook Ty’s hand, concentration passing through his eyes for a moment.  _“It’s good.  This is a precaution.”_   He lifted his wrist, indicating the tape.

_“Well, fantastic.  That’s a relief.  Ethan was downright depressed when he heard the news.  He’s been eager for a rematch since May.”_

Haru nodded.  _“I’m looking forward to it also.”_

 _“When did you get in?”_ Rin asked.

 _“Oh, we’ve been here a week already.  Staying in a hotel nearby.”_   Ty shook his head.  _“Our accommodations were a mess.  Heard they brought in a bunch of tradies to finish everything up.  We’ll relocate in a day or two.  You guys have any problems?”_

Rin and Haru glanced at each other.  _“Haven’t heard of any,”_ Rin said.  _“Though, I don’t know what it was like before we got here.”_

 _“Lucky.”_   Ty smiled. 

 _“Hey, Ty!”_ a member of the Australian team yelled from across the pool.

 _“Right!”_   Ty turned to go.  _“Rin, Haruka, let’s grab a feed later, once we’re all settled in the Village.”_

“ _Sounds good_ ,” Rin said.

“ _OK_ ,” Haru said.

Ty headed off with a wave.

Coach Maekawa was behind the blocks.  “Nanase, Matsuoka!”

“Hai,” they said in unison, joining their teammates.

“Standard warm ups,” Maekawa said.  “Matsuoka, you’re leading off in lane four.”

“Hai.”  Rin stretched his cap over his hair, stepping up to the block.

“Nanase, over here for a sec.”

Rin watched as Haru was pulled into a conversation with Coach Fujino and Kasai.  Hopefully that was a good sign.  He turned back to the pool, settling his goggles into place as he climbed onto the block.

Ty took the block on lane five in black square legs with slashes of green and gold.  He pulled on a bright yellow swim cap.  “ _Hey, Rin.  Let’s go synchro_.”

Rin chuckled.  “ _What are we, fifteen?  I call right._ ”

“ _Left_.”

They shared a grin, matching their stances and counting down together, just like they used to.  “ _Three, two, one_ —”  Rin dove, dolphin-kicked, and came up swimming free, starting his stroke with his right arm.  Ty mirrored him one lane over, with his left.  Synchro wasn’t a race—the point was to see how long they could go without someone messing up, which was usually only ten strokes or so, or getting yelled at.

They were almost to the opposite side of the pool when someone chucked a pull buoy into Ty’s lane.  “ _Ty, what the hell are you doing?  Swim normal._ ”

Rin laughed inwardly, curling into the turn.  He gave up the game as he headed back towards the start—

That was when he noticed Haru was up on the block.  Rin’s stomach flipped, a thrill going through him.  They were only supposed to be doing warm ups, but…  He couldn’t help it.  Rin shifted into the center of the lane, accelerating towards the wall—

Haru noticed, setting his feet and bending for a relay start—

Rin slapped the wall, Haru dove overhead—  His fingers curled against slick tile as Haru shadowed him.  _I could watch you like this all day._   Rin got his breathing under control as Haru slipped into the water, waiting a couple seconds for spacing before falling in behind his lover.  Somehow, the water always felt better when Haru was in front of him.

Rin completed his warm ups first.  He climbed out of the pool while Haru swam his last hundred meters. 

Ty was right behind him, the pull buoy tucked under one arm.  “ _Just like old times_ ,” he said with a grin.

“ _Yeah_.”  They fist-bumped and grabbed water bottles.

Rin returned to the blocks when Coach Fujino pulled the Japanese team together. 

“Working with me tonight are Konishi, Otani, Ozawa, Sada, and Nakagawa in lane three; Momotarou, Ikehara, Sugiyama, Matsuoka, and Nanase in lane five.  For everyone else, Maekawa has the men in lane two and Akagi has the women in lane one.”

Rin’s heart leapt into his throat.  There was no mistaking that line-up—

Fujino lowered his clipboard.  “Continuous four-by-one hundred medleys, race speeds, and I’ll be subbing members on the fly.  Nakagawa-san, Nanase-kun, you’re on standby initially.”

Rin’s heart plummeted just as fast.  He closed his eyes to gather himself.  _I’m anchoring.  Sugiyama’s on fly and I’m…_

“… _And, just to make things more interesting_ —” Coach Fujino switched to English “— _you’ll be going head-to-head with the Australian Dolphins_.”

Rin’s eyes flew open as members of the Australian team joined them, including their team captain—Ethan McInnes—and their head coach.

“ _Nothing like a bit of friendly rivalry to get everyone in the spirit, right?_ ” the Australian coach said, the man dressed in a green and gold polo shirt and black pants.  “ _Shall we give it a go?_ ”

Momo’s eyes were huge as he looked up at the taller Australians.  The teams shook hands, Rin exchanging nods with Dillon Lee, who he’d swam against—and mostly lost to—in the fly events at the Japan Open.

“ _So, Noboru, you finally decided to get serious?_ ” Ethan—in pure black square legs—clasped hands with Sugiyama.

The guy sighed.  “ _I’m always_ —”

“— _serious.  Right_.”  The Australian grinned.

Sugiyama _almost_ cracked a smile.  “ _Good to see you too, Ethan_.”

Rin and Haru were last in line.  Ethan gripped Rin’s hand in a firm handshake.  “ _Rin…  Haruka_ …”  His gaze flicked to Haru’s wrist.  “ _I hear I’ll get my rematch?_ ”

“ _Yes_.”  Haru nodded as the two shook hands.

“ _Fantastic_.”

The teams lined up behind their blocks—the Australian men in lane six to the left of Rin’s team in lane five.  The Australian women were in lane four; Konishi was at the front of the line for the Japanese women in lane three.

Rin got in position, staring enviously at Sugiyama’s back.  He tried not to let it get to him—he had two other relays with Haru, not to mention three individual events.  Plus, he was sure Coach Fujino was still looking out for Haru’s wrist…but it stung, regardless.  _How stupid am I, to make this one race worth so much more than all the others?_  

To him, it _was_ worth more.  Medley was his dad’s race; medley brought him together with Haru, Makoto, and Nagisa…as well as connecting him with Momo, Nitori, and Sousuke in high school.  _All the sights I’d never seen before happened on a medley team._  

The whistle sounded the four-pulse, Momo dropping into the water, flanked by Australian swimmers.

“ _Take your marks_ ,” the Australian coach said.

The pool quieted for the start—

At the signal, four swimmers arced into the pool—

The cheering started immediately in English and in Japanese.  Momo—reckless as usual—shot out into an early lead.

_You shouldn’t be sprinting yet, dummy._

After fifty meters, the Australian swimmer came up to speed, surging past Momo easily.  In their lane, Ikehara stepped up onto the block.

“Rin.” 

Rin glanced behind him, meeting the warmth in Haru’s eyes.  There was no trace of disappointment at all on Haru’s face.  _How can you always, just…?_

Haru had his swim cap on, the Japanese flag on the left side, _NANASE_ on the right.  His goggles were perched on his forehead.  “Show me something good, OK?”

 _Tch.  Easy for you to say._ Rin glared back, which only brought more sparkle and affection to Haru’s gaze.  He faced forward, pressing his goggles into place over his eyes.

During the breast leg, Captain Ikehara made up for Momo falling behind, Dillon Lee and Sugiyama diving at almost the same time.  Although Dillon was ahead initially, Rin climbed onto the block knowing he’d be diving first when Sugiyama went to race speed.  Ethan—the Australian team captain and sprinter—was on the block beside him.

Rin set his feet, taking in the familiar metronome-like strokes of fly as Sugiyama swam towards him.  There was no guess work; he knew exactly when to dive and the exchange was clean.  Rin entered the water priceless seconds before Ethan, one lane over.  He churned up foam in powerful strokes, accelerating smoothly…but he felt empty inside.  Rin lost the lead just prior to the turn and even at a sprint, it was all he could do to stay a couple strokes behind the Australian captain and not give up any more ground.  He hit the wall in second place, two whole seconds shy in his estimation.

Rin climbed out of the pool as the four-pulse sounded and Momo jumped in.  _Damnit._   He crushed his cap and goggles in one hand, heading for the back of the line. 

“Nanase, you’re in for this one,” Coach Fujino said.

“Ah.”  Haru stepped into the anchor position, behind Sugiyama.

Rin didn’t meet anyone’s gaze as he grabbed his water bottle.  He needed to get over this.  Like Captain Ikehara told him the other night—he couldn’t fall apart and throw tantrums just because things didn’t work out the way he wanted them to.  _I’m always going to have rivals.  This is the world’s stage.  I can’t expect to show up and take it all._   It wasn’t like he wanted this weakness, this emotional fragility that plagued him.  He didn’t want to be _that guy who lost his dad_ ; he wanted a fair chance—for his own hard work and ability to carry him through. 

The start signal was given, the four backstroke swimmers leaping off the wall.

If he could shed all this baggage, he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

“That’s it, Momotarou!”  Mikoshiba was cheering from the side of the pool in his _sakura_ speedos.

In the pool, Momo had apparently decided to pace himself better.  He was keeping up with the Australian swimmer, his arms slapping the water as they raced across the pool for the back fifty.

As Ikehara bent for the exchange, Rin watched a short conversation between Ethan and Haru as they readied their caps and goggles, though he couldn’t hear what they said over the shouts of encouragement from the other relay members.  Haru looked as unfazed as always—calm and relaxed as he waited his turn.  _As long as there’s water, you have everything you need._  

Ikehara was neck-in-neck with the Australian swimmer during the breaststroke leg, just falling behind at the end of 100 meters.  Sugiyama dove second to Dillon, easily keeping pace for both lengths of the fly leg.  Ethan hit the pool first for anchor; Rin felt it in his chest when Haru leapt from the block without him, slipping lithely into the water—

Rin pressed forward to watch, his heart in his throat as Haru closed the gap, flipping into the turn at the same time as Ethan in the adjacent lane.  The pair raced towards the finish, sprinting like they had during the fifty free, back in May.  But it was Haru who hit first—left-handed—to loud cheering from the Japanese team.

Rin’s eyes stung and something lurched in his chest—elation and agony warring within him.  Because it was Haru—the one he loved—and because of the certainty he felt in his heart:  he’d just lost the medley.  It was the same feeling he got, back at Prefectures in high school, when Ryugazaki Rei replaced him in the relay with Haru and the others.  With friends—with the right team—Haru had gotten back up and moved on without him.  _I’m the one who needs you too much._

Haru climbed out of the pool, getting hand-slaps from Captain Ikehara and even Sugiyama before Coach Fujino intercepted him. 

“How is it, Nanase-kun?”

Haru nodded to their coach.  “It’s fine.”

“Good.”  Fujino seemed relieved as he turned.  “Matsuoka, you’re up.”

Rin set his water bottle aside.  “Hai.”  He pulled on his cap and goggles, getting in line.  _I’m the stand-in, so you don’t overdo it and hurt your wrist_.  He had a week and a half to make peace with it.

“Rin.”

He stopped even with Haru, feeling the mist of droplets against his face as Haru shook his head, flinging the water from his hair.  Rin met the wariness in blue eyes, the guarded worry—

 _I’m not fine, but I will be._ He caught Haru’s fingers briefly.  “You rocked that,” he said, meaning every word.

A tremor went through Haru’s eyes; he grasped Rin’s hand tightly.

Rin squeezed back, managing a genuine smile.  _Don’t worry.  I’m not going back on our promise._

The fear faded from Haru’s gaze, though he still looked uneasy.

Rin gently pulled away, focusing his attention on the race ahead.  _I wasn’t willing to be second to Sugiyama, but when it’s you out in front of me, being as amazing as I know you are...somehow it’s different._   He drew a deep breath, letting it out slowly.  _And if the injury I caused isn’t holding you back anymore…_   The relief was almost stronger than the heartbreak.

For the rest of practice, Rin and Haru traded anchor.  Rin did better after that—closing the gap with Ethan, but it wasn’t a fair comparison.  While other members of the Australian team swapped out during the hour, Ethan didn’t.  Still, Rin could be satisfied—if not _happy_ —with split times within a second of his all-out best from Rome.

Cooldown was a free-for-all with intermingled lanes; the two teams parting amicably afterwards.  Rin was physically and emotionally exhausted.  He let the Mikoshiba brothers and Takara carry the conversation on the bus ride home and during dinner, while he held Haru’s hand and didn’t say much.

He was glad when they were finally back in their room and alone.

Rin flicked on the lights, setting his gear bag down inside the door.  He slipped off his warmup jacket before crossing the room and drawing the curtains over the glass balcony doors.  The night outside was overcast and starless.

“…You want the first shower?” Haru asked quietly.

Rin paused in the midst of turning on the reading lights by the beds.  The package from his mom—with the green _furoshiki_ and picture frame still inside—was on his bed where he’d left it.  He looked up, meeting the unreadable, stoic expression on Haru’s face. 

Haru hadn’t moved from beside the door.

Rin finished getting the lights on.  “I’m really OK, Haru.”

Haru’s gaze clouded.

 _You don’t believe me._ Rin sighed.  “I need to convince you, huh?”

Hurt flashed in blue eyes for a fraction of a second and Rin regretted the words.  Haru dropped his bag on the floor, shedding his clothes on the way to the bathroom and disappearing inside.

 _Fuck_.  “Haru, I didn’t—”  He got there in time for Haru to close the door in his face.  Rin drew back, irritation curling his hands at his sides.  _Why the hell are_ you _being prickly, all of a sudden?_   _Tch.  Fine._   He yanked off his warmup pants, throwing them atop his suitcase as he heard the shower start in the bathroom.  Rin slapped the overhead lights off, bathing the room in the soft glow from the reading lights.

He retreated to his bed in his square legs only, perching on the side and picking up the package.  His dad and his seven-year-old self smiled back from the picture frame.  _Why are you upset when I’m the one having to deal with all this shit?_   _You didn’t even want this dream._   Rin lifted the picture from the box, setting it on his nightstand.  The glass was streaked with his dried tears.

Rin thought about it unwillingly—the way Haru held him as he cried, today and so many other times now.  He remembered the soothing caress of fingers, the warmth of Haru’s arms, the strength he’d felt, just having Haru there.  At the same time he despised his own weakness and neediness, he knew it had a hand in bringing them together.  _How can you love a part of me that I hate?_

A crash sounded from the bathroom, too loud to be a dropped shampoo bottle or the like—

Rin’s heart stopped.  He was up in an instant, rushing to the bathroom and flinging aside the door Haru hadn’t bothered to lock—

The shower was still going.  Haru was standing beneath the spray in his square legs with a perplexed look on his face.  The shower curtain and rod lay in a heap on the bathroom floor.

“Haru—”  Rin was gasping from adrenaline, his eyes roving his lover quickly, looking for any sign of injury—

Haru turned off the water.  “I’m OK.  It fell on its own.”

Pounding sounded at their door.  “Hey, you guys alright?” Mikoshiba asked.

Rin exhaled, slowly calming.  Since they were still in their swimsuits, he turned the lights on in the main room and opened the door.

The Mikoshiba brothers were on the other side.  Momo was in his sea otter pajamas with his stuffed toy hugged to his chest…and Mikoshiba was wearing white skivvies. 

_Seriously, what do you have against clothes?_

“It’s just the tension rod.  It fell,” Rin said.

“Ah, OK.  You guys need help?”

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “I think we got it.”

“Alright.”  Mikoshiba hooked an arm around his brother’s neck, drawing the kid away.  “Good night, then.”

“‘Night.”  Rin closed the door, returning to the bathroom.

It took a couple of minutes, but between the two of them, they managed to get the rod back in place and tightened.  They were left looking at each other with the open shower curtain between them.

“I’m almost done,” Haru said, his face shuttered once more.  He reached to draw the curtain—

Rin intercepted his arm, stopping him.  “Haru, look—”

Haru’s eyes cooled.  “What?”

The air left Rin’s lungs in a puff.  “You can’t blame me for being upset.  I just need time to get over it.”

Haru gave him a frosty look.  “The roster’s not final yet, Rin.”

“The fuck it’s not.”  Rin snorted.  “We were both there.  If Fujino wanted me on fly, he would’ve put me in at least once.”  He pressed his lips.  “Don’t make this harder for me.”

“What, I’m supposed to let you give up?  That wasn’t our promise.”

“I promised I wouldn’t quit and I’m not!  But it’s obvious, isn’t it?  I can’t swim the medley without you.” 

Haru frowned.  “You did fine in high school—”

“Did you forget how badly I tanked then, too?”  _Don’t make me rehash it, Haru._   “This isn’t different.”  Rin dropped his arm as his fingers curled.  “I need you too much.”

Haru’s eyes flared wide.  He slumped against the opposite wall, the words falling from his lips in a whisper.  “Too much?”

Rin went ice cold as he watched the color dull in Haru’s eyes.  _No, no, no—_   “Haru—”  He lunged into the shower, catching Haru by both arms.  “That’s not what I meant.”  _Oh God, I can’t watch the dream die in your eyes again.  Not like the night your wrist got sprained._   His fingers dug into Haru’s skin.  “Swimming.  I’m only talking about swimming.”

But it wasn’t helping.  Haru’s expression didn’t change.  Water dripped from black hair, running in rivulets down his face. 

“I don’t understand,” Haru said in a quiet, flat voice.  “Needing me…the way I need you…isn’t OK?”

Rin’s eyes widened, his hands losing their grip.  “Haru, how—?”

Haru’s eyes glistened with liquid.  “Did you forget?  That I wouldn’t be here if not for you?  That I wouldn’t have a single dream, let alone this many…?”

Rin’s breath caught as he remembered.  It wasn’t that long ago that he’d seen real fear in Haru’s eyes—when their travel plans were announced…when Haru found out about the water concerns…when they were sitting in the Sierra Nevada clinic, waiting for the initial prognosis on Haru’s wrist…  He thought of high school, too, the way Haru slammed a fist into the lockers, his voice echoing in Rin’s head.  _What dream?  What future?  I don’t have any of that!_ Rin blinked, heat circling his throat.  “I thought…you didn’t need anything but water.”

Haru turned his face to the side, pulling one arm free to brush his knuckles across his eyes.  “The water never showed me the sights that you have, Rin.”

Rin’s gaze blurred in an instant, his heart burning in his chest.  _Haru—_   “ _Gomen._ ”  He threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders, crushing their bodies together with his face buried in wet hair.  “ _Gomen._ I wasn’t—”  _I couldn’t think straight; I couldn’t see—_

“ _Rin..._ ”  The name was saturated with relief, Haru’s arms circling his waist, squeezing so fiercely he could barely breathe.

_I’m the shittiest person on the planet.  You’re the one person I never—ever—want to hurt.  But I still fuck things up._

Haru’s skin was cold and damp.  They were pressed so close Rin could feel Haru’s pulse against the tip of his nose and the slow, shallow breaths Haru took.  Rin tightened his arms.  _I won’t be the first to let go._

At length, Haru sighed, his palms flattening against Rin’s back.  “I should know better than to trust what comes out of your mouth when you’re in one of those moods.”

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin lifted his head in protest, though he knew he deserved it.  He met the blue of Haru’s eyes and the oceans of affection he _didn’t_ deserve.  _Haru._   Rin’s eyes stung afresh.  _How can you love me like this?  When I’m so…_   “I’m so fucking high-maintenance.”

Black brows arched, Haru’s eyes softening.

Rin scowled.  “You’re not disagreeing.”

“No,” Haru said, his hands sliding up Rin’s spine.

“ _Tch_ —”  Rin’s mind blanked when Haru’s fingers slid under his hair, scraping lightly against his scalp.  His lips parted in a silent gasp.

“Loving you is worth it, Rin,” Haru whispered, just before covering Rin’s mouth with his own.

The kiss was impassioned from the start with glides of tongue, the firm press of fingertips into muscle, and the cold, slick wall Rin soon found at his back.

His head was spinning when they broke the kiss for air.  “A legit fight and we can’t even have make up sex,” he muttered between breaths.

Haru was already reaching for the water, cranking the knob as cold as it would go.  “You’re staying?”

“Yeah.”  Rin braced, but the sudden, freezing cascade was still a shock.  It got better when Haru returned to him, their mouths melding again—

After their icy shower, the only way Rin could get warm was with Haru nestled in his arms.  The nape of Haru’s neck was against his cheek; damp black hair clung to his skin.  Their bodies were aligned snugly down to their ankles and all of the blankets were piled on top.  The reading lamps were off, the room as dark with Rin’s eyes open as closed.

“Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

Rin tightened his arm around Haru’s torso, their fingers laced together.  “I get your point.  About the roster.”  He sighed against his lover’s shoulder.  “But you’re the one who said—back at the NTC—I should be enjoying my dream.  Not hanging everything on three and a half minutes of swimming.”

Haru was quiet, initially.  “…What about your dad’s dream?”

“It’s _my_ dream.”  The words came out with a bite to them and Rin drew a deep breath.  He released it, slowly.  “It’s not like doing that will bring him back to me.”  Rin closed his eyes, feeling the old, familiar ache in his chest—

Haru drew his hand up, kissing his knuckles.  “I’m not disagreeing, Rin.  But if being here—swimming relay—helps you feel close to him, even a little…  I want that for you.”

Rin gasped softly as the ache flared into warmth, into love.  “Haru—”  The syllables came out raw.  He swallowed hard.  _Dad, if this is why you gave up swimming, maybe I get it.  If you_ had _to choose between a love like this…_ Rin blinked eyelashes laden with moisture, drawing a ragged breath of chlorine-scented air.  He kissed Haru’s shoulder, cuddling in.  _I’m not giving this up for anything._

* * *

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2016

* * *

Rin stirred at the sound of footsteps in the hallway, just beyond their room.  _Must be 9am._   A bit of daylight glowed around the edges of the curtains; he blinked in the semi-dark, far too comfortable to move from where he lay on his back with Haru’s arm curled around his midsection.  Haru’s shallow, regular breaths drifted across his left shoulder.

Rin closed his eyes, listening to the shuffling of sock-feet on tile as Momo tried to sneak out of the apartment.  Today, the kid got as far as the door and even started in on the locks—

There was a muffled yelp, followed by the sound of the deadbolt and swing lock reengaging.  Like any of the previous days, Rin never heard Mikoshiba get out of bed. 

“Back to bed, Momotarou.”

“But, Nii-channnn…” 

The sound of sock-feet dragging on the floor went all the way back to the brothers’ room.  Rin smiled to himself.  Five days in and the kid was just as bad at sneaking around as he’d been on the first attempt.  _You need to try something new, Momo.  Or take stealth lessons from your brother._

Rin rubbed his eyes, twisting and reaching for his phone on the nightstand.  It was 9:05am.  He had a whole hour before the alarm would go off.  As he put the phone back, his hand brushed cool metal.  The picture frame was illuminated in a stray sliver of daylight.  Rin sighed.  _Hey, Dad.  The Opening Ceremony is the day after tomorrow._   He bit his lower lip, still not sure what he believed about heaven.  He knew what he _wanted_ to believe.  _I hope you’ve got a front-row seat._

Rin pushed the blankets away, sliding towards the edge of the bed.  He’d go back to sleep after this, but since he was awake, he might as well use the bathroom.  Haru’s left hand was perched on Rin’s right side, fingers splayed against his skin.  As gingerly as he could, Rin nudged Haru’s arm, so he could slip out underneath—

Haru didn’t budge, his arm like warm steel, locked around Rin’s body.

Rin pushed a tad harder…the muscles in Haru’s arm only tensed in response, trapping him against the bed.  With one brow cocked, Rin yielded, sinking down to the sheets.  He glanced aside at his lover—at the faux-asleep expression on Haru’s face and black hair falling in shards across his forehead.

Rin shifted onto his side beneath Haru’s arm, facing his lover.  “Sorry.  I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It wasn’t you,” Haru murmured, opening his eyes.  In the dimly-lit room, Haru’s irises were ultramarine blue, framed by dark lashes, and intent upon Rin in ways that made him stop breathing. 

_You don’t look sleepy at all._

Haru’s arm tightened around him.  “I was having a nice dream.  We were in the pool together.”

“Ah.”  Rin reached out, brushing hair from Haru’s forehead and dragging his thumb along Haru’s cheekbone.  “Swimming?”

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “No.”

Rin’s face heated.  “Haru…”

“It was just getting good when we were interrupted.  …Then I woke up.”

Rin pressed his lips as his imagination went to deserted pools by moonlight, the two of them tucked into a corner or up on the edge…  He’d thought about it once before.  OK…more than once.  …Make that a lot more than once.  Rin cleared his throat roughly.  “Don’t tell me you forgot about Coach Maekawa’s warning—”

There was a mischievous glint in Haru’s eyes as he turned his head, grazing Rin’s palm with his lips.  “We’ve been breaking into pools since we were kids.  We wouldn’t get caught, Rin.”

The air hissed out through Rin’s teeth.  _You tease._   He lowered his voice.  “I don’t know, Haru.  Is it me you want or the water?”

“You,” Haru said without even a flicker of hesitation.  He pulled away, rolling over and sitting up on the edge of his bed.  “The water’s just a bonus.”  With that, he got up, heading for the bathroom.

Rin stayed where he was, burying his face into his pillow to muffle a groan of irritation. 

He was calm when Haru returned a few minutes later, rubbing his wrist—

Rin sobered fast, sitting up.  “Haru—”

Haru shook his head.  “It doesn’t hurt.  I can feel it, though, after not using it like that for a while.”  He flexed the joint a couple of times, Rin watching closely.  “I should probably ice it later.”

“Not now?” Rin asked as Haru climbed back into bed. 

“After practice.”  Haru stifled a yawn as he lay down, situating himself under the blankets.  “You’re gonna stay up?”

“Nah.”  Rin shook his head.  “Just a sec.”

He got out of bed, catching a glimpse of the poster on the wall inside the door before he turned for the bathroom.  Rin used the facilities and splashed water on his face, after.  For a moment, he lingered, studying his reflection in the mirror.  The fatigue he’d accumulated over months of travel and hard training was gone now.  Mornings had a way of shedding light and new perspective on the things that seemed like insurmountable troubles the night before.  _If my worst problems are Haru’s sprained—not broken—wrist, an Olympic medley relay, and a no-sex rule…_   He smiled ruefully, rolling his eyes at himself.  _Fuck, I’m ridiculous sometimes._

Rin dried off, hit the lights, and went back to bed.  He slid between the sheets, tangling his limbs with his lover’s and pressing a kiss to Haru’s jaw, just below his right ear.  “Love you,” he whispered.

Haru turned his head, brushing their lips together.  His eyes were warm and drowsy, steeped in affection.  “Love you, Rin,” he said.

-x-

Afternoon practice was at the Aquatic Centre, in the main pool.  With more athletes arriving daily, Rin was getting used to the crowds and the pervasiveness of the media whenever they were away from the Athlete’s Village.  Heading from the locker room to the pool deck, they exchanged nods with swimmers from China, Canada, and the Netherlands, among others. 

“It’s busy again,” Haru murmured for Rin’s ears alone as they pressed towards the wall of the corridor, letting others pass.  He wasn’t frowning, but Rin could see the mild irritation in Haru’s eyes.  They were in their matching square legs, carrying their gear.

Rin smiled sympathetically.  “Can’t be helped, right?  Everyone wants to practice at race time.”  With more than 20 major swimming delegations divided amongst three Olympic-sized pools...  _It could be worse, honestly._  

“Nn.  I miss _our_ pool,” Haru muttered.

Rin grinned.  “Which one’s _our_ pool?”  He started listing them off in his head.  _NTC, Koutei, Iwatobi SC…_

Haru shrugged.  “Whenever we get to swim together and we don’t have to share lanes.”

“That’s like…every pool we’ve ever swam in together.”

Haru blinked, as if it were obvious.  “Yeah.”

Rin smothered a laugh, purposely brushing shoulders with Haru as they entered the blue-green stadium, following their teammates.  The stands were empty, but media personnel filled cordoned-off areas on the pool deck, filming, taking pictures, and interviewing swimmers.  Another large delegation of athletes was gathered behind the start blocks—

“Well, here’s trouble,” Koda murmured, a few steps ahead of Rin and Haru.

Rin heard snatches of English before he saw black practice suits with ribbons of red, navy blue, and white sparkles…and black swim caps with the United States flag.

Haru leaned in.  “You think we’re racing them?  Like the Australians, yesterday?”

Judging by the wet hair and towels and the way the group began to disperse…  “Dunno.  They might be done.”

Roughly half the athletes of the 47-member United States team headed for the corridor in groups of two or three, laughing and chatting, while others lingered doing interviews.  Rin and Haru passed several women as they headed to join their coaches and staff; more than once, Rin caught glances directed their way that were anything but subtle.  It made him uneasy, reminding him of getting cornered at the bar in Rome.  Haru didn’t seem concerned, however.

Kawamura immediately headed over to the competition, striking up a conversation with a couple of the younger members of Team USA.  Rin glanced across faces, recognizing several big-names—legendary Olympians with multiple gold medals and Olympic and World records.  Over the last several months, he and Haru had competed against many of the best swimmers in the world, but zero athletes from Team USA.  Come Sunday, he’d finally get his chance to see how he measured up against _the top_ swimmers in fly and free.

Damien Andrews was on the opposite side of the pool, chatting with members of the media.  The guy wore dark teal swim briefs and had a towel slung over one shoulder.  His spiky, ash-blond hair was wet and askew; he was taller and broader through the shoulders than Ethan McInnes and most other members of the Australian team.  His infectious smile was lighting up the arena even from this distance.

“Is that—?”  “No, is it really him?”  “Shit, he’s so—”  The women on the Japanese team traded whispers, squealing behind their hands.  Only Ozawa and Sada seemed unfazed by the guy’s presence.

“He’s…tall, huh?” Haru said.

Rin snorted.  “He’s got like 10 centimeters and 15 kilos on us, Haru.”  _Not to mention wingspan._

“Hm.”  Haru watched for a second more, then wandered off.  “I’m meeting Kasai-san.”

“Ah.”

Rin tore his eyes away from the infamous Andrews and ignored his fawning teammates.  In a different lifetime, he would’ve been as giddy as Takara, Nakagawa, and the others.  If his dad had still been alive during Beijing, Andrews’ posters probably would’ve replaced Sugiyama’s on the walls of his childhood bedroom.  As things stood, Rin didn’t remember much about the Beijing Olympics; that period between the summer of 2007 until he met Haru was still mostly a blur.  His own training and his father’s dream were all that mattered back then—the only ways he could rise above the pain.

Rin didn’t mean to look for Sugiyama, but his gaze landed on his idol/rival, regardless.  The guy wasn’t quite _rigid_ like he’d been in Rome, but his face and eyes were set like flint and if looks could kill, everything in his path would’ve iced over.

 _Whatever.  I’m not getting involved in this shit._ Rin turned away, heading for his coaches. 

“ _Ano…Mr. Andrews, could I get a picture?_ ”  Aoyama—one of the relay-only swimmers—was apparently the brave one.  Her English wasn’t too bad.

“ _Sure, but it’s Damien_.”  Rin could _hear_ the guy’s winning smile without having to look.  “ _What’s your name?_ ”

Aoyama dissolved into squeaking.  “ _Ah, er_ —”

“ _Her name is Suzume_ ,” Takara said, her pronunciation as horrible as ever.  “ _Suzume Aoyama_.”

“ _Hey, thanks!  And, if I’m not mistaken, you’re Takara Sakamoto_.”

“ _Uhh_ —”

Rin glanced over in time to watch Takara melt on the spot; Nakagawa had to grab her by the arm.  Damien was shaking hands with each of the women in turn.

“ _Mai, right?_ ” Damien asked Nakagawa.  “ _We met in London_.”

“ _Yes!  It’s great to see you again, Damien_.”  She was glowing as they shook.

“ _Likewise!  Now, who’s all in this picture, Ladies?_ ”

The women crowded around Damien for a selfie on Aoyama’s phone.  Rin fought the urge to roll his eyes.  _Sure, if I had some kind of freakish photographic memory I’d have the world eating out of my hand, too._   He noticed the way Koda, Ozawa, and even Ikehara kept their distance.

“ _Suzume, would you mind sending me a copy?  I’ll give you my email address._ ”

“Uh, hai!” Aoyama said in Japanese.  She blushed.  “ _I mean, of course._ ”

Rin raked a hand through his hair, shifting his gaze to white folding chairs set up nearby, where Haru was getting his wrist taped by Kasai.

“ _Thank you, Damien-san!_ ” the women said in chorus.

_Great, I bet this is all they’re gonna talk about for the whole day—_

“ _Anytime!  Nice to meet all of you._ ”

Rin exhaled, folding his arms.  _Haru, are you done yet?  Let’s go swimming._   He heard Damien’s footsteps, but he fully disbelieved that—

“ _You must be Rin Matsuoka_.”

Rin’s stomach leapt into his throat.  He turned, face-to-face with the legend in the flesh.  Damien towered over him even at a polite distance, all bronzed and smiling like he could power a whole fucking city with the brightness of his perfect teeth.  The guy was good-looking—there was no debating _that_ —and his swimming was on another level, compared to most people on the planet.  During the London Olympics, Rin watched the guy win medal after medal, breaking records like they were made of paper. 

It took Rin a split-second to gather himself.  In the end, though, Damien Andrews was just another rival.  Rin matched the guy’s smile with one of his own and extended his hand.  “ _That would be me_.”

They shook; the guy’s grip was firm, his hand engulfing Rin’s.  “ _Damien Andrews_.”  The guy’s smile grew.  “ _I’ve been looking forward to meeting you ever since you beat those Japanese Records at the Japan Swim.  Man, if I had those kinds of times at your age_.”

 _Shit._ The guy was good.  _But I’m not getting sucked in by you._   Takara and the other women were staring daggers at him. 

“ _You’re gonna be a serious force to be reckoned with.  Makes me wish I wasn’t planning to retire after this is over.  Tokyo 2020’s gonna be something else with swimmers like you leading off_.”  The change in Damien’s eyes was subtle, but Rin caught it as clearly as the veiled insult in those words.

Rin affected a good-natured laugh.  “ _Well, don’t expect me to make it easy for you to retire.  Where’s the fun in that?_ ”

Damien chuckled.  “ _You’ve got the confidence down, that’s for sure.  Sounds good, Rin.  I’ll look forward to you changing my mind_.”  His voice was every bit as smooth as what he said, but clearly the guy didn’t consider Rin any kind of threat.  “ _Now then, where’s your infamous other half?_ ”

 _That_ almost had Rin breaking character—this hot shot American legend referring to his relationship with Haru as easily and casually as the guy might introduce his own wife or kid.  The acknowledgement wasn’t anything Rin expected; it left him feeling validated rather than self-conscious—a far cry from Sugiyama’s assertions that the only way to succeed was to cut everyone out of his life.  Here was a guy who was absolutely doing it all and winning at life…he just happened to be a closet asshole when it came to rivals, apparently.

Haru joined them with a freshly taped wrist.  “ _My name is Haruka Nanase_.”  He extended his hand.

“ _Damien Andrews_.”  The two shook hands.  “ _Well, you’re every bit as cucumber-cool as they say.  I hear you only swim free?_ ”

“ _That’s right_ ,” Haru said.

Damien grinned.  “ _What a shame.  Though I can’t fault you for sticking to what you’re good at_.”  He nodded towards Haru’s wrist.  “ _The sprain still bothering you?_ ”

“ _Not really_.”  Haru’s face never changed, remaining as stoic and neutral as always.

“ _That’s good news.  It’d be such a disappointment to come this far and not be able to do your best, though—as I was telling Rin—I’m sure you’re also planning on Tokyo 2020_.”

Haru paused for a moment, as if mulling over the English words.  “ _Yes, I am.  This will be your last Olympics?_ ”

 _Haru, you’re as blunt and forthright as ever._   Rin smiled to himself.

Damien shrugged.  “ _That’s the current plan, though I’m open to having my mind changed_.”

“ _I see_ ,” Haru said.  “ _Good luck to you_.”

 _Holy—  Haru, did you just wish_ Damien Andrews _good luck at swimming??_   Rin managed not to let it show on his face, but inside he was grinning like an idiot.  The women’s jaws dropped.  Haru, of course, didn’t mean it in any kind of patronizing way.  He and Ethan McInnes had shared the same sentiments as recently as yesterday.  To Haru, Rin knew, the water was a level playing field.  _Unlike this pompous jerk who thinks he’s the king of competitive swimming._

There was a flicker of something in Damien’s eyes, but it was gone before Rin could identify it.  The guy laughed, shaking his head.  “ _You two are priceless.  See you in the pool._ ”  He left with a wave and one last glimpse of his dazzling smile.

Takara and the other women were still glaring murderously at them.  Rin folded his arms to keep from tackling his lover in sheer glee.

“Rin.”  Haru gave him a puzzled look.  “Why am I like a cucumber?”

Rin snorted with laughter, throwing an arm around his lover’s shoulders and leaning close.  “You haven’t heard that one, Haru?  _Cool like a cucumber._   It means to be calm—someone who doesn’t get riled up.”

“Oh.”  Haru’s expression was thoughtful.  “Not like you.”

“ _Oi_ —”

Haru smiled with his eyes.

“ _Noboru…it’s good to see you again._ ”  Damien’s voice was easy, deceptively light.

“ _Damien,_ ” Sugiyama said.

Rin pulled free, all attention focusing on the two men.

The rivals faced each other—Damien younger, taller, and larger with a hand perched on his hip, while Sugiyama was more compact, shorter, and older.  Sugiyama’s hands rested at his sides; everything about him was a wall compared to Damien’s open, relaxed stance.  The men didn’t shake hands.

“ _I’m glad you made it_ ,” Damien said.  “ _It just wouldn’t feel right, going out without swimming together one last time.  The podium’s always strange when you’re not sharing it with me_.”

Sugiyama’s jaw worked as he exhaled.  “ _Save it for the pool.  I’ve got nothing to say to you_.”

Koda was hovering nearby, close enough to intervene if needed.

Damien chuckled.  “ _You’re giving me that scary face again?  After all these years…it’s nice to see that you haven’t changed a bit_.”

Sugiyama’s eyes burned with cold fire.

“ _Whereas…things are different for me, now_.”  Damien shrugged nonchalantly.  “ _Colette will be here this week with our daughter.  I want to introduce you_.”  The guy’s expression smoothed and he lowered his voice; the rest of what he said was too quiet for Rin to overhear, except for snatches of _worried_ and _Rome._

Sugiyama folded his arms, looking away as he replied.  Whatever he said had Damien’s face hardening.  The two men glared at each other coolly.

“ _We’ll settle this next Friday_ ,” Damien said, resuming a normal volume.

“ _Ah_.”

The rivals parted, Sugiyama heading for the pool while Damien joined members of his team, leaving for the locker room.  Rin wondered what that had to do with Beijing, though it wasn’t any of his business.  During the exchange, their coaches had mostly talked amongst themselves and with the Team USA staff, though Maekawa had watched, tight-lipped.

Koda trailed Sugiyama to the blocks.  “Everything OK, Sugi-chan?”

The guy paused up on the block for lane four.  He shot a frosty look over his shoulder as he lowered his goggles into place.  “Don’t ever call me that again, Takuya.”  As he turned and dove, Koda was grinning, aiming a thumbs-up in Ozawa’s direction.

 _Guess he’s OK._ Rin exhaled, relaxing a bit.

“You’re relieved?” Haru asked.

Rin caught himself, his eyes widening.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Yeah, I am.”  Even with the medley relay on the line, the thought of reliving Rome—watching his former idol lose it again—was untenable.  _Especially because of that guy._  

 _You don’t get to pick your teammates_ , Rin’s dad used to say.  _There’s always going to be the people you get along with and the people you don’t.  But it’s what you do for each other—for the team—that matters most.  That’s when—as a team—you’ll go places you never thought possible and see things you’ve never seen before._

Warm arms circled his waist from behind, breaking into his thoughts.  “That’s the Rin I used to know,” Haru whispered into his hair.

Rin’s cheeks heated.  “Haru—”  He twisted, meeting the happiness in blue eyes and the smile on Haru’s face.

Coach Maekawa clapped her hands.  “Warm ups, everyone.  Let’s go.”

They drew apart, Rin grinning as they donned their caps and goggles and went racing for the blocks—

* * *

Friday, August 5th, 2016

* * *

Clinic on Friday was held on the first floor of their tower in the Athlete’s Village, in one of the unfinished spaces adjacent to the JOC offices.  Rin and Haru sat on mats on the floor, alongside their teammates, in Team Japan T-shirts and shorts.  Today was meetings only—no formal practice.  After this, they were free until the Opening Ceremonies this evening.

Coach Fujino stood at the head of the group, beaming like a proud parent in a gray JOC T-shirt and black warmup pants.  “It’s been a long road, Olympians, but we’re finally here.”

An excited murmur swept through the team, along with quiet applause.

“Tonight, you’ll march in the Parade of Nations at Maracanã Stadium…and tomorrow we’re jumping in with the four hundred IM, the men’s hundred meter breaststroke, women’s hundred meter fly, and the women’s four-by-one hundred free relay.”

Several members of the team cheered and high-fived.

“Practice sessions from here on out are at you and your coaches’ discretion, though, those of you on the relay roster can expect drills scattered throughout the week.  As a team, we’ll gather up daily for warm ups and final adjustments and to support each other during the competition.  The Athletic Trainers—” Fujino gestured towards Kasai, who waved back vigorously, and the rest of the trainers “—are here to support you with anything that comes up, as they have been for the past week.”  Coach Fujino clasped his hands behind him, rocking back on his heels.  “It’s going to be a demanding week, full of intense struggles.  Remember to help each other out when it gets tough, take care of yourselves and your teammates, and have fun, too.”  He smiled.  “This can be the week that changes your life.  Enjoy it, Olympians.”

Rin inhaled slowly, gripping Haru’s hand.  Haru squeezed back.

“Before we get into logistics for tonight, I hope all of you remember Saeki-san, from the JOC Executive Board.”

The team got to their feet, bowing low as Coach Fujino ceded the floor to Saeki.  She was as Rin remembered from her address at their first training camp at the NTC.  Saeki wore a tailored business suit in dark navy with a subtle pinstripe and a JOC logo pin on the left lapel.  Her black hair was twisted up; thin glasses were settled across the bridge of her nose.

“You can be seated, Olympians,” she said, waiting as they settled onto the mats again.  “It’s been four months since we selected you to represent us here in Rio.  Speaking on behalf of the JOC and the JASF, we couldn’t be happier with our decision.  Your hard work and dedication during training in Japan and at competitions and camps around the world have validated and exceeded our expectations.” 

A murmur of pride went through the team; Rin felt it in his chest.

“My objective today is to remind you that your presence here is not just about your events or your individual performance or contributions.  Out of all the other nations participating in these games, Japan alone bears the privilege and responsibility of heralding the Olympic spirit from this moment to Tokyo 2020.  Whether you participate in the Games in four years from now or not, _today_ —more than times, podiums, and medals—you represent Tokyo 2020.  The world will remember you first as the face of the thirty-second Olympiad, while your individual achievements are secondary.  Thus, how you conduct yourselves here in Rio is crucially important.  You _must_ be above reproach in all that you do and say, whether a camera is pointed at you or not.”  Saeki’s words sunk in as she paused, the room pin-drop silent.

Her face softened the slightest bit.  “It’s a weighty mantle to bear, but one we don’t hesitate to place upon you, because we know you can carry it.  Should you have any concerns, please come to us or your coaches and allow us to handle the situation.”  Saeki almost smiled as she looked out over the room.  “You’re here because we believe you’re the best in the world.  You’ve made us proud over the last four months and we’re eager to see the fruits of your labor this next week.  Congratulations, Olympians.  You’ve earned this.  Good luck.”

Rin clapped along with his teammates.  They all got up, bowing as Saeki yielded the floor to their coaches once again.

Maekawa, dressed in a red and _sakura_ warmup jacket and black pants, stepped forward as they sat down again.  “The Opening Ceremonies run from eight pm to midnight tonight, at Maracanã Stadium in the heart of Rio.  Expect forty-five minutes to an hour each way, for transportation.  Those of you with heats tomorrow afternoon will have the opportunity to return early if you wish.  Your athlete’s credentials are your ticket to walk in the parade.  Check-in and final instructions will be in this room at six-thirty tonight; do not be late.”  She paused.  “Questions?”

When no one spoke up, Maekawa nodded.  “Alright.  Just because we’re not officially practicing today doesn’t mean you should go screwing off for the next few hours.  Taper’s still in effect and—for most of you—it’s time to shave down.”

The men in the room grumbled while the women cheered.

Maekawa smiled.  “That’s it, everyone.  See you tonight.”

The group began to disperse.

“Shaving party!”  Takara, Ozawa, and Konishi slapped hands as they got up, heading for the elevators.

A certain orange-haired kid was shimmying across the floormats on his stomach, as if to follow.

Mikoshiba grabbed the back of his brother’s T-shirt.  “Momotarou, where do you think you’re going?”

“Hee.”  The kid sat up cross-legged, scratching his head.  “Shaving party.”

Mikoshiba grinned, hauling Momo to his feet.  “Well, you’re not wrong, little brother.  But your shaving partner’s right here!”

“Aww.”  Momo made a face.

Mikoshiba glanced back.  “Matsuoka, Nanase, you guys coming?”

Rin and Haru glanced at each other.  “Eh…” Rin said.  “We don’t have to until tomorrow.”

“Pool,” Haru said.

Rin smiled.  “We’ll catch up with you guys later.”

“Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun.”

They turned at the sound of Maekawa’s voice, as she and Coach Akagi headed over.

“We’ve got a couple lanes reserved at the Athletes’ Park if you want to join us,” she said.

The way Haru inhaled, his eyes shimmering like pool water in the sun, there was no need to answer audibly.  Rin grinned.

Maekawa and Akagi chuckled.  “Meet us down here in ten,” Maekawa said.  “We’ll walk over.”

-x-

“Three hundred ought to be good for warm ups,” Maekawa said, as Kasai finished taping Haru’s wrist. 

Rin stood near Haru’s chair.  They were stripped down to their square legs with Team Japan swim caps on and goggles in hand.

Haru flexed his wrist when Kasai was done.  “Can I use it today?”

Kasai nodded.  “ _Sim!_   I brought ice if you need it later.”

“ _Obrigado_.”

Rin’s heart started to pound as Haru got up.  He had an idea of what Maekawa and Akagi had in mind…and he wasn’t sure he was ready.  The injury was almost four weeks behind them now—the last time either of them had done a breathless fifty.  If the way his dad drowned wasn’t going to haunt him, Haru’s sprain might.

“We’ve got lanes zero and one,” Akagi said.

“Ah,” Haru said.  Blue eyes swept Rin’s face, then Haru was heading for the blocks, lowering his goggles over his eyes.

Rin followed, pressing his goggles into place.  They climbed onto adjacent blocks—Haru taking lane zero and Rin on his left in lane one.

Rin stared down the lane, ignoring the other athletes using the rest of the pool or the multiple languages flying back and forth.  The water glistened under the overhead lighting.  _This part is just warm ups._   He exhaled slowly.

“Rin.”

“Mm?”  He glanced over.

Haru was positioning his feet, bending to grasp the block.  “Don’t fight the water.”  He dove in—a perfect arc—slicing into the water fingertips first.

 _Like that helps, dummy._   Rin rolled his eyes fondly, snapping the strap of his goggles before he dove.

Six lengths of the pool were over way too fast.  Rin’s muscles were warm and loose when they got out, standing in front of Coach Maekawa.  Coach Akagi was at the opposite end of the pool.

“Fifties.  Three breaths to start,” she said, moving around to the side and lifting her whistle.  “Within a second of your best time.”

Rin closed his eyes, gathering himself.  _I can do this.  You’re not hurt anymore.  It’s not gonna happen again._

A damp arm slid around his waist.  “Rin?”

Rin exhaled raggedly, their swim cap-covered foreheads pressed together as he opened his eyes.  He laced his fingers through Haru’s, lifting Haru’s wrist to his lips. 

Haru’s eyes softened behind his goggles.  He leaned in for the briefest kiss, leaving Rin’s cheeks burning as he pulled away and stepped up to the block.

Maekawa sounded the four-pulse.  Rin climbed up and set his feet, his lips tasting like chlorine and Haru…

“ _Take your marks—_ ”

They progressed rapidly from three breaths down to one.  Fifty meters on three breaths was pretty much a normal sprint for Rin, two was only slightly more difficult, and he’d been doing single-breath fifties for more than a year.  _Fifteen meters underwater, twenty meters of stroke, one breath, and a fifteen-meter surge to the wall._ He and Ty had it down to a science; by the time he left Australia for the Olympic Trials, he was beating his friend regularly.

Swimming with Haru was different.  Rin didn’t have to breathe or look to know when Haru was beside him.  He could sense his lover’s presence in the churn of the water, the vibrations beneath the surface, and the sound of Haru’s stroke.  Haru’s swimming had never been _technical_.  Even after a year’s worth of formal training at Koutei, Haru still melded with the water rather than subduing it, more like flirting and less like conquest—at least in Rin’s opinion.  For Haru, it was so much more than merely physical and mental.  His swimming reached into emotional, almost spiritual, realms.  So to chase Haru in the breathless fifty…  _Maybe that’s why I have trouble; I’ve never been good at those things._   Not since his dad died, anyway.

Rin slapped the wall at the end of another single-breath fifty.  He’d already lost count of which pass it was.  Coach Akagi was behind the blocks with the clipboard, noting their time.  Rin clung to the side of the pool, catching his breath.  Haru was beside him, breathing just as hard. 

“Let’s take a short break,” Akagi said.

Rin nodded, raking off his cap and goggles.  Haru followed suit, hanging onto the edge as he shook the water from his hair.

Coach Akagi headed off.  “Mae-chan.”

Rin slipped under the line, into Haru’s lane.  “How’s the wrist?”

“It’s OK.”  Haru shrugged.  “I’ll probably ice it after this.”

A cold tremor went through Rin’s body.  He only had to close his eyes to picture it—Haru sitting in the blue chair at the Sierra Nevada clinic, holding an ice pack to his swollen wrist…  A sour feeling gathered in Rin’s stomach. 

 _Fuck_.  _I can’t do this._ It was too soon.  He wasn’t ready—

“Nanase-kun.”  Kasai came over to the side of the pool.  “Can I do a check while you have a minute?”

“Ah.”  Haru climbed out, offering his wrist for her inspection.

Rin hoisted himself out by the blocks, grabbing his water bottle.

“You’re hitting pretty hard,” Kasai said as she manipulated the joint.  “This, right here…”

“Hai.”

Rin swallowed a mouthful of cool water, brushing droplets from his chin with the back of his hand.  _Damnit._   All those horrible feelings were swirling in his chest, climbing up his throat—

Their coaches joined them by the side of lane zero.

“You’re starting to feel it, Nanase-kun?” Maekawa asked.

“…Hai,” Haru said. 

Maekawa nodded.  “We’ll call it here for today.”

Rin lowered his water bottle.  _Fuck, fuck—_

Haru inhaled.  “But—”

Maekawa shook her head.  “There’s no need to push it.  You’re already consistently sub-22 on one breath.”

“Without shaving down or tech suits,” Akagi said.

“We’ve got time.  The men’s fifty free doesn’t start until Thursday.”

“…Ah,” Haru said. 

“I’m gonna grab you some ice, Nanase-kun.”  Kasai released his hand and headed off.

But the disappointment in Haru’s eyes was like a punch in the stomach.  Rin gripped his water bottle, feeling like shit.

Minutes later, they were back in their warmups, grabbing their gear bags to walk back to the Athlete’s Village.  Haru had an ice pack strapped to his wrist as they headed out into sunshine and warm air.  The skies were blue with a touch of haze on the horizon; otherwise there wasn’t a cloud in sight.  Rin and Haru joined a steady stream of athletes coming and going from the training facilities via a covered, elevated walkway over the _Av. Salvador Allende_. 

After the security checkpoint, the walkway opened to the east-most edge of the Village.  Haru led the way to the park-like grounds between the northern and southern towers.

The feelings were piling up inside Rin; he tightened his grasp on Haru’s hand, getting his lover’s attention.

Haru’s steps slowed.  “Rin?”

“ _Gomen_ ,” Rin said, barely managing a whisper. 

Haru’s eyes widened.  “What are you apologizing for?”

 _What do you think?_   Rin swallowed hard.  “It’s my fault—today, that you couldn’t—”

A shadow crossed Haru’s face.  “You still feel that way?”

“Haru…”  _The evidence is strapped to your wrist right now._

Haru averted his gaze, looking at one of the water features they passed.  “I’m the one holding you back,” he murmured.

Rin inhaled.  “Huh?”

“If I wasn’t there today, you could’ve gone breathless.  They stopped for my sake.”

The air drained from Rin’s lungs.  “ _That’s_ what you think?  Fuck.  _I’m_ the one who would’ve tanked.”

Haru looked back at him, startled. 

 _Because I’m terrified of you getting hurt again—_ even though he knew it was an irrational fear.  Haru couldn’t possibly hit the wall hard enough to tear anything.  No, there needed to be another force in play, like gravity or Rin, to do that kind of damage.  But there wasn’t anything rational about his nightmares or drowning fears, either.

“Rin—”  Haru stopped walking, turning to face him. 

Rin went still as Haru caught his face in both hands, Haru’s left hand slightly cool from the ice pack.  They weren’t alone, but Rin couldn’t look away from the blue of Haru’s eyes if his life depended on it.

“If you weren’t ready, why didn’t you say so?” Haru asked in a whisper.

 _I wanted to be.  I thought, maybe…_   Rin exhaled roughly.  “I…didn’t know how to.  Didn’t want to.”

Haru’s face clouded.  “You promised if anything wasn’t OK, you’d tell me.”

Rin pursed his lips.  “Haru, I think we said that about sex.”

Haru shrugged.  “Still applies.”

Rin sighed. 

“Next time…?”

“Yeah.”  Rin nodded slowly.  “It’s a promise.”

Haru’s eyes warmed.  He wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist.

“ _Oi_ …”  Rin’s face heated.  “We’re not alone…”  No one nearby seemed to be paying attention, but…

“We’re in the Village, Rin.”  Haru’s eyes were replete with affection.  “But I won’t kiss you unless it’s OK.”

Rin debated for half a second…  _Ah, fuck it._ He kissed Haru first—a chaste brush of lips.  “Haru, let’s head back.”

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “Yeah.”

Rin felt like a weight had lifted from his shoulders as they walked the rest of the way to their tower.  All around them, athletes were hanging out in the pool, on the tennis courts, or chatting on the tower balconies. 

They took the elevator, Rin unlocking the door to their apartment.  The lights were on in the main room, though the door to the Mikoshiba brothers’ room was closed.  Mikoshiba’s and Momo’s shoes were in the entryway.

“Think they’re napping?” Haru asked as they headed into their room.

Rin shrugged as he closed the door behind them.  “Either that or still shaving?”

“Oh, maybe.”  Haru unstrapped his ice pack, leaving it on his nightstand.  He then proceeded to strip off his clothing—every last stitch other than the bracelet—while Rin watched.  Haru paused in the bathroom doorway, glancing back.  “Wanna shower, Rin?”  The look warmed Rin down to his toes, every bit as provocative as the poster on the wall.

 _Like I’m gonna say no._   Rin had his clothes off in a flash.  He was in the shower with Haru in his arms even before they got the water going.  While the frigid spray leeched the heat from the room and their bodies, they kissed slowly and deeply, their hands running through each other’s hair—

“But Nii-channnn, I don’t wanna shave _there_.”  Momo’s voice was muffled through the wall…but not muffled enough.

Rin and Haru stilled beneath the cold, pelting spray.

“I keep telling you, Momotarou.  If you’re serious about streamline, you have to—” 

Rin couldn’t make out the rest of what Mikoshiba said, but that didn’t stop his brain from offering possibilities, each mental picture worse than the last.  His ardor fizzled instantly.

“…I can’t unhear that,” Haru mumbled.

“Me either.”

They untangled themselves, grabbing the soap and washing briskly while Momo continued to whine one room over.  It was a relief to escape to their beds with the AC unit on full blast to drown out any more noise.  They curled up under the covers in fresh underwear—Rin lying back with Haru using his shoulder for a pillow.  He almost forgot about the ice pack, carefully reaching across Haru’s body to retrieve the thing.

“Mikoshiba’s pretty religious about shaving during meets,” Haru said, lifting his arm so Rin could wrap the ice pack around his wrist.

Rin worked the Velcro straps one-handed.  “He was like that in high school, too.”

“We won’t even need cold showers.”

Rin sighed, tucking his arm around his lover.  “It’s gonna be a long week.”

Haru snuggled in and yawned.  “Yup.”

-x-

After lunch at sunset—with all the women (and Mikoshiba) gushing over their freshly shaved legs—it was _finally_ time to get ready for the Opening Ceremony.  Rin and Haru pulled their garment bags from the wardrobe, laying them side-by-side on the beds.  They donned white dress pants, pinstriped dress shirts with pure white collars, and black ties with white and red stripes and a tiny JOC logo.  They knotted their ties in front of the mirror in the bathroom—Haru got done first, which wasn’t surprising given his high school uniform, but it was still annoying.

Haru monitored his progress.  “You’re doing it wrong, Rin.”  

“Shut up, Haru.  I got this.”  It took Rin two tries, but his four-in-hand knot was perfect in the end, not loose like Haru’s.  “You left your top button undone again, didn’t you?”

“No,” Haru said, leaving the bathroom before Rin could check.

Bedside, they tied white leather dress shoes and donned red blazers with gold buttons.  The patch on the left breast pocket was another JOC logo—the Japanese flag atop gold Olympic rings.  Lapel pins and white leather belts completed the outfits.

Rin’s suit fit every bit as well as it had back at the NTC.  Haru’s was just as good, Rin noted, biting his lower lip as he eyed his lover.  _The rule’s not going to stop me from undressing you later…_

Haru noticed his gaze and smiled, his eyes glittering as he slipped his phone into his pocket.  “Ready for this?”

Rin glanced at his nightstand, at the picture of him and his dad smiling and waving Japanese flags.  He exhaled, feeling the warmth expand like a balloon in his chest.  _Watch this, Dad._   “Yeah,” he said, reaching for Haru’s hand.  “Let’s do it.”


	30. la flamme Olympique

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A full replay of the Rio Opening Ceremonies is available on [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_qXm9HY9Ro).

* * *

Friday, August 5th, 2016 (continued)

* * *

The Maracanã Stadium complex was ablaze with light and color beneath a cloudless night.  Rin was leaning into Haru, as close to the window as they could get as their bus slowly paralleled the stadium, his vision filled with dazzling gold, amber-red, and vibrant blue hues.  The city of Rio de Janeiro spread out in all directions like a blanket of stars with the circular, roofless stadium as the centerpiece, its entrances and open-air ramps all aglow. 

Their bus was one of countless others—the Japanese team and staff, alone, filled six buses—that made the trek from the _Vila Olímpica_ to Maracanã over the last forty-five minutes.  Rio 2016 banners lined freeway exit ramps as the road looped around the complex past clusters of white tents, tons of armed security guards, and motorcycles flashing red-blue police strobes.  The buses slowed to a crawl; eventually turning into a parking lot adjacent to the stadium. 

The Japanese swim team was just preparing to disembark when the night became as bright as day, the vehicle’s windows rattling with a staccato of explosions as fireworks filled the sky.  The blazes of light shot heavenward in whirling rings of color, fired from the circular roof of the stadium—white followed by yellow, blue, red, and a final blast of glittering gold—

Rin only breathed when the fireworks faded to traces of smoke; even through the windows, he could hear the roar of cheering from inside the stadium.  The display had lasted mere seconds, but in that time he’d still managed to glom onto Haru, the warmth of their breath misting against the glass.

“Whee!  Fireworks!”  Momo went running down the aisle of the bus with Mikoshiba in pursuit.

Then everyone was getting up, excited chatter sweeping through the team.

Rin felt it in his chest—the buzz, the energy.  _This is really happening.  My dream—_   He met Haru’s gaze in their reflection in the window; Rin could’ve sworn he still saw the fireworks shimmering in Haru’s eyes.  _Our dream._

He drew back, catching his lover’s hand and pulling gently.  “Come on,” he said, the words slightly breathless.

Haru’s eyes gleamed with the same thrill as he got up.

Their athlete’s credentials were checked for the second time as they stepped down onto the pavement.  Rin waited with Haru, listening to the music and cheering from inside the stadium as security checks were completed and the entire Japanese team assembled.  Then, Rio officials led them through the fence and into service tunnels on the ground floor.  The place was loosely organized chaos with the occasional costumed dancer sprinting through the corridor, organizers with clipboards and headsets shouting instructions in Portuguese, and several thousand athletes whose only job at the moment was to get in line and stay there…

Every five seconds, something caught Momo’s eye and he tried to escape, either Mikoshiba or Sada corralling the kid back into the group.  When they finally neared wherever the officials were taking them, hushed whispers mixed with squeals.  Rin saw it from a distance—the large Japanese flag on a tall white pole, waiting to herald them into the stadium.  He inhaled, gripping Haru’s hand as the sudden emotion welled up inside him.  Haru squeezed back, smiling.

The Japanese team—every member in a formal red blazer and white dress pants—congregated in a section of corridor that bordered the stadium’s exterior.  A screen mounted high on the interior wall showed the live feed from inside the stadium where the ceremony was well underway.  An audience of sixty thousand watched performers in red outfits make their way across an urban Tetris of faux buildings ‘rising’ from the center arena.  At the far end of the stadium, the performers climbed onto a huge multi-level set piece, currently dressed as high-rise apartments and office buildings.  The visuals were stunning; it was one thing to watch the spectacle on a screen, but being _here_ , the air filled with live music and cheering, was an entirely new experience.

Their teammates took turns snapping selfies with the Japanese flag.

Haru tugged on his hand.  “Want to, Rin?”

Rin grinned at his lover, draping an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they made their way towards the center of the crowd. 

Other members of the team were texting or talking on their phones.

Rin pulled out his phone as they waited their turn, checking for wireless.

“There’s wifi?” Haru asked.

“Yeah.”

They connected; Rin wasn’t surprised when his phone downloaded a whole slew of messages from friends and family in Japan.  Gou, Nitori, and Nagisa were live-texting everything they were watching on TV.  There were excited messages from his mom and from Lori and Russell in Australia.  Sousuke’s note was a lovely, _[Alright, Rin.  You’ve got one job tonight.  Don’t trip or something.]_ with a smiling emoji.

Rin tapped out a reply: _[Ass]_ with a grinning face.

When Haru exhaled softly, Rin glanced up from his phone.  There was a wistful expression on Haru’s face as he scrolled through his messages and Rin knew he was missing home and his friends.

Rin waited for his lover to finish reading.  When Haru lowered the phone, he reached out, trailing his fingers gently through black hair. 

Haru sighed, closing his eyes and pressing into Rin’s touch.

The sound of a camera shutter surprised them both.  “There’s a nice candid shot.”  The familiar voice belonged to Haseda—former Olympic swimmer and their Málaga photographer.

“Haseda-san,” Haru said as they greeted the woman who wore a black polo shirt and slacks, her wavy reddish-brown hair tamed behind an athletic headband. 

Media credentials hung on a lanyard around Haseda’s neck.  “Hey guys,” she said with a smile, lowering her camera briefly.

“What are you doing here?” Haru asked.

The woman laughed.  “What’s it look like?  The JOC wants photos and Tsuchiya-san was kind enough to loan me out.”  She adjusted a few settings on her camera.  “Meaning, I’m not dedicated to the two of you tonight, but let me at least sneak in a good one with the flag.”

“Thank you for the posters,” Haru said and Rin’s cheeks warmed.

Haseda grinned.  “My pleasure.”

When it was their turn with the flag, Rin grasped the white carrying pole reverently, a lump forming in his throat.

The camera shutter sounded again.

“Hm, Nanase-kun, let’s have you get in close—really close.”

Rin held his breath as Haru slid against his back.

“…And, right arm over Matsuoka-kun’s shoulder—yes, _perfect_.”

Rin couldn’t help grinning, their faces close, even though he knew he was blushing.  Their teammates looked on with envy.

“Not so stiff.  Give me peace signs or something.”

Rin glanced aside at Haru, raising a peace sign with his left hand while he held the flag with his right—

Haseda took a picture while he was looking at Haru, which only made Rin’s face hotter. 

 _Where’s that makeup guy when I need him?_   He flicked his gaze back to the camera as Haru made the same gesture.

“That’s it!”  Haseda snapped a few frames.  “Got it!”  She gave them a thumbs-up.  “I’ll send you guys a copy.”  Haseda turned to the rest of the Japanese team.  “OK, who’s next?”

Rin relinquished the flag to members of the women’s basketball team, merging into the crowd with Haru.

They were back in time to watch on the screen as an old-time fabric-and-pulley plane ‘lifted off’ from the stadium floor and flew over Rio in a recorded sequence to melodic piano and acoustic guitar.  As the plane swept across the shoreline of Ipanema Beach with white-tipped waves rolling in and the skyline of the city all lit up, the music melded seamlessly into a classic Brazilian ballad— _The Girl from Ipanema_.  The screen switched back to the stadium, the whole audience singing along in Portuguese, as a Brazilian supermodel in a flowing silver gown catwalked across the arena.

Several of the veteran (male) members of the team crowded in front of the screen to watch.  “She’s got the longest legs I’ve ever seen,” one of them whispered with hushed awe.

Takara—who was next to Rin and Haru—rolled her eyes at the comment, flicking her loose black hair over her shoulder as she spun in a huff.  “Alright.  Make room, people.”  She linked arms with Ozawa and Konishi.  “Ladies, let’s do this.”

Rin and Haru backed up as a path formed down the center of the corridor, their teammates lining either side.

“You got this, Taka-chan!” Ozawa yelled as Takara took the first runway pass to loud cheering and whistles from the women on the team, strutting in her red blazer, white dress pants, and white leather shoes. 

At the end of the corridor, Takara paused with a hand on her hip as if for the cameras, then whirled.  Her black hair scattered the light as she model-walked back.

Ozawa went next, which got the men’s attention, especially as the music picked up.  Then everyone was taking a turn—most of the women and many of the men.  Rin watched as Mikoshiba pulled off a perfect sashay—with Takara filming the whole thing.  Pretty much everyone who took the floor rocked it, though the gymnasts and the women’s synchro team were on a whole other level.  Momo just ran down and back, laughing and falling into Sada’s arms at the end, with everyone shaking their heads as they looked on.

“Are you gonna do it, Rin?” Haru asked.  They were holding hands as they watched, near the ‘start’ of the runway.

Rin snorted.  “No.”  _I mean, no question I’d own it, but we’re not in the Village and like hell I’m winding up on the internet doing this._

“Oh.”  Disappointment flickered in Haru’s eyes, though it faded quickly behind a small smile.

Rin pursed his lips.  _You wanted me to, huh?_

“I think you’d be good at it,” Haru said, “but not if you don’t want to.”

_Nn._

“Hey Matsuoka!”  “Yeah—Matsuoka!  You’re up!”  Men and women started cheering for him, Rin blinking in astonishment.

 _What the hell?_   The Japanese team was more than three hundred strong; so far, Rin had learned the names of a handful of people outside of the swim team.  _(A) Why do you know my name?  And (B) why—?_

“Show us your moves, Matsuoka!”  “Just like Rome!”

Rin covered his face with his free hand, his cheeks heating.  _Damnit._

“Come on, shy boy,” Takara said.  “You and me.  One-on-one, winner takes all.”

Rin glanced over, his brow twitching at the way Takara’s hand was perched on Haru’s right shoulder.  “What are we competing for?”

“What else?”  Takara grinned, cozying up to Haru’s side.

Rin glared at her, his jaw working as the usual fire sparked inside him.

Haru exhaled.  “Not if he doesn’t want to, Takara.”

Takara chuckled, her eyes gleaming.  “Well, of course _not_ , Haruka.  He can just forfeit now.”

 _Oh, like hell—_   Rin drew a breath, stepping forward.

Captain Ikehara cleared his throat from behind them.  “Just keep it clean, you two.  We’re in uniform.”

“Not a problem, Captain.”  Takara pulled away, turning to address the crowd.  “It’s me versus Matsuoka.  Haruka kisses the winner.”  Hoots and shrill cat-calls answered.

“Who’s going first?” Otani asked, pressing towards them.

“Rock-paper-scissors for it,” Ozawa said.

Rin untangled his hand from Haru’s, facing his opponent.  They threw down in unison, “ _Janken pon!_ ”  Rin played paper to Takara’s rock. 

He grinned, victorious.  “I’ll defer.”

Takara was unfazed, settling a hand on her hip.  “Like that’s gonna help you, sweetie.”  She turned away, striking a pose to loud cheering and a sea of cellphone cameras at the start of the catwalk.

A percussion-heavy rap number was being performed, offering the perfect backdrop as Takara started down with long strides.  Rin had to admit she was warmed up; by the deafening cheering, she obviously had a large portion of the crowd on her side.  Takara posed and spun at the far end of the catwalk, stepping in time with the music as she returned, the fierce look on her face complimented by the hint of a smile.

“Rin, you don’t have to do this—”

Rin laced his fingers together and stretched his arms forward, tossing his lover a sassy glance.  _I’m doing this for you, not them._   “Watch this, Haru.”

Haru inhaled slowly, the blue of his irises darkening.

Rin took Takara’s place at the head of the catwalk, running a hand through his hair as he posed.  The women squealed; Otani—nearby—went red and covered her mouth with one hand.

Rin picked a spot just over his teammates’ heads at the far end of the runway, fixing his gaze as he slipped his hands casually into the pockets of his blazer and started his walk.  He stood tall, keeping his shoulders back and his limbs relaxed.  The cheering intensified—both from the women and the men—as he walked through his three hundred teammates to the end of the runway.

Rin posed for the cameras at the far end, leaning back and affecting a smile with his eyes that had a few members of the team fanning themselves.  For the return, he fixed his attention on Haru—and Haru’s phone, damnit—letting the fire in his gaze show.  Rin loved the way Haru’s eyes blazed at him in return and the faint color rising in Haru’s cheeks.  Near the end, he added a bit of a smile and watched Haru’s eyes widen and his Adam’s apple bob in a swallow.  _Told you, Haru._   Rin grinned on the inside, glowing with satisfaction.

The team closed in around them, cheering as he stopped in front of Haru.  On Haru’s right, Takara was fuming silently, her eyes hard.

 _Should’ve seen this coming, Sakamoto_.  Rin flicked his hair back with a toss of his head, removing his hands from his pockets.

“Get him, Nanase!”  “Victory kiss!”

Haru returned his phone to his pocket, stepping forward.  Rin’s bravado failed him as Haru drew near.  His heart started to pound, his face going hot. 

“You’re OK with this, Rin?” Haru asked softly.

 _It’s a bit late to be backing down, Haru._   Rin arched a brow.  “Is it gonna be worse than Barcelona?”

Haru’s eyes glittered.  “Only a little.”  Hands slid into his hair just before Haru kissed him firmly on the lips, eliciting another burst of cheering from their teammates.

Haru kept it brief—fortunately—but the kiss still took his breath away.  As Haru drew back, Rin’s face burned.  _Fuck._   _Now_ he felt self-conscious.

Haru’s gaze warmed with affection.  Strong arms circled Rin’s waist as Haru leaned in, whispering into Rin’s left ear words that were his alone.  “ _Eu te amo,_ Rin.”

Rin relaxed with a breath, settling his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “Ah.”

The crowd dispersed as the music changed.  Rin lifted his head, though he didn’t let go.  On screen, the arena floor was lit by showers of sparklers, performers in red flooding onto the set.  The camera switched to a wide angle, showing the open sky at the center of the stadium’s roof.  He heard the ring of fireworks and saw the flashes of light peripherally before they appeared onscreen—two scarlet arcs and a final burst of gold.  When the view returned to the arena, the performers appeared to be troops engaged in battle until the stage exploded into color, dancers filling the floor as the beat picked up.  A woman spoke in Portuguese and then the entire stadium—including the audience—was on their feet, dancing.  Rings of fireworks followed in pink, gold, and red.

“Awww, when do we get to go in?” Momo asked, hanging onto his brother.

“It shouldn’t be much longer before the Parade,” Captain Ikehara said.

Haru loosened himself from Rin’s embrace, pulling Rin by the hand towards the exterior edge of the corridor.  They spilled out into the night with other members of the team, watching the fireworks shoot into the air just beyond the edge of the roof.  They could only see a fraction from here versus what was captured on the screen, but it was better this way, with the fireworks reflected in Haru’s hair, bathing both of them in colored light.

There was a momentary reprieve, after, as the fireworks faded and the music died down.  It was nice to breathe for a moment, the air smelling faintly of smoke, and hold hands with Haru.

A voice-over followed—a man and a woman speaking in Portuguese and English.  Rin couldn’t catch much of it.

“Nanase-kun.  Matsuoka-kun.”  Captain Ikehara was waving them back.

They returned to the edge of the group, watching a graphic of the Earth’s rising temperature.  Haru went still, gripping Rin’s hand as, onscreen in a simulation, the polar ice caps melted and the sea level rose, flooding coastline cities.  Rin felt the way Haru stopped breathing as they continued to watch.  Back in the arena, a boy with a silver backpack found a tiny, fragile tree.

The music changed, quiet at first, as if coaxing that little plant to grow, then building to evoke hope.  An announcement followed, first in French, then in English and Portuguese.

Rin inhaled, squeezing Haru’s hand.  “Did you catch that?”

Haru shook his head. 

“Each athlete gets to plant a seed for a tree—for an Athletes’ Forest.”

Cheering followed the proclamation, Haru’s eyes softening the slightest bit.

Onscreen, the lights came up in the stadium, a path lined by performers carved from the center of the arena.  The announcers came on again in French, English, and Portuguese.  A murmur swept through Team Japan, but Rin caught the English, “ _Please welcome the athletes of the Games of the thirty-first Olympiad!_ ”

“Wait, are we supposed to be in line?”  Otani’s voice was tight with stress.

“Relax, Ayaka-chan,” Koda said.  “We’re almost halfway through the alphabet.  This part takes, like, two hours.”

“Oh.”  She looked relieved.

“Nii-chan,” Momo whispered loudly.  “What if I have to go to the bathroom?”

“Go now, Squeaker.”  Sada pointed.  “It’s right there.”

On the screen, the audience was rising to their feet, cheering as Greece entered the stadium in navy-blue blazers and white trousers.  The camera focused on their flag bearer as the announcers introduced them in French, English, and Portuguese: “ _Grèce_ … _Greece_ … _Grécia_.”

The Japanese team watched as the parade started into the _A’s._   JOC staff arrived soon after that, handing out stick flags—two for each athlete, one Japanese and one Brazilian.  They got to watch Australia enter, though Rin was too far from the screen to make out Ty from among the four hundred-some athletes in striped green blazers with gold ties.  The parade was into the _C’s_ when Rio officials appeared and ushered them outside. 

Rin and Haru found themselves in the middle of the column of Japanese athletes behind their flag bearer, a decathlon competitor.  They lined up against the fence between the Jamaican delegation in brilliant yellow and green and the athletes from Jordan in black suits.

With each second that passed, the Japanese team crept past tall columns, closer and closer to the stadium entrance.

Rin’s phone started buzzing in his pocket.  He let go of Haru’s hand to fish out the device. 

Gou was texting him again.  _[They’re up to F!  I just saw Fiji!]_

Haru was smiling down at his phone.  “Makoto says they’re bouncing off the walls at home.”

“Ran and Ren?”

He shook his head.  “Everyone.  Nagisa and Rei, your sister and your mom, the Mikoshiba family...”

Rin’s phone buzzed again.

The message was from Nitori.  _[Ahhh!!  It’s happening!!  Rin-senpai!]_

He chuckled.  “Sounds like it on the Samezuka side, too.”  He pocketed his phone as the line continued to move.

Soon, they could hear the announcements from inside the stadium.  “… _Hungary.._.”  “… _Yemen_ …”  “… _India_ …”

Rin felt the anticipation gathering in his chest.  The performers from the opening acts lined both sides of their path, cheering for them and snapping pictures.  Athletes jumped aside for selfies with the dancers before getting back into line.  The atmosphere was alive, crackling with electricity, and they weren’t even in the arena yet.  The line moved in fits and starts as they neared the tunnel, each delegation metered into the arena by staff members flanking the entryway.

_“…Iceland...”  “…Israel...”_

A buzz went through the team.  Up ahead, in front of the Jamaican delegation, Rin watched the flag of Italy pass from the shadow of the tunnel into the light of the arena.

“Alright, everyone!” Their team captain, one of the wrestlers, yelled from the head of the column, just behind their flag bearer.  “Flags up and big smiles!” 

 _This is it!_ Rin’s heart was aflutter.  He gripped his flags in one hand and grabbed Haru’s hand with the other.

Haru inhaled.  “You’re sure, Rin?”

“ _Italie…Italy...Itália._ ”

Rin looked his lover in the eyes and couldn’t stop from grinning.  _Fuck yeah, I’m sure_.  “Are we doing this together or what?”

The pleasure lit on Haru’s face.  Haru laced their fingers together tightly, breaking into a smile that zinged Rin straight through the heart.  _Oh God, I love you._

The Jamaican delegation moved into the arena and Team Japan started walking almost immediately after.  Like the other delegations, they were preceded by an adult-sized tricycle with a colorful gardening theme.  The tricycle, ridden by a woman in brightly-colored cycling gear, overflowed with green plants, bearing an elevated sign that read _JAPÃO._   Event staff in headsets ushered them forward—

Rin and Haru followed their rippling flag into the arena—

The cheering was deafening.  Cameras were everywhere.  Lights, color, noise—sixty thousand in the audience, millions more watching on TV—  The emotion of the moment surged up inside him, warm in Rin’s chest, hot in his throat and in his eyes.  _Dad—_

“ _Japon…Japan…Japão_.”

— _I made it._   The tears welled up and there was no point trying to fight them as he lifted his gaze to the open sky above them.  _I’m really here._   Squeezing Haru’s hand, Rin thrust his twin flags high, waving them at the crowd as the audience roared.  He grinned, his face wet, but he didn’t care.  Everywhere he looked, there was something else to see.  Performers wearing colorful arrows pointed them in the right direction; behind them, the athletes already in the stadium filmed with their phones.  The flags of all the delegations hung from the inside of the circular roof and there was more than one Japanese flag displayed in the audience.

Rin snuck a glance at Haru and found blue eyes wide and shimmering, taking it all in—  _We’re here.  Haru, we did it._

Up ahead, there was a camera on the right side for closeups.  Rin pulled Haru in that direction, the two of them waving their flags for the camera while keeping a firm hold of each other’s hands.

At the far end of the stadium, in front of the multi-level set piece, the performers guided them to the left side of the arena.  That was when decorum broke down—Momo went running with his two flags held aloft, one in each hand.  Members of the team cheered and embraced.

“Rin.”  Haru drew him aside, letting go to reach into a pocket inside his blazer.  He produced a tiny packet of tissues.

Rin sucked air, tackling his lover with a hug.  “You brought it for me?”

Haru hugged him back.  “I figured you’d need it.” 

As the rest of the team passed them, Rin broke into the packet, drying his face discretely.  Once more holding hands, they joined their teammates, filling in their section of the arena.  The parade progressed quickly from _J’s_ to _K’s_ to _L’s_.

Mikoshiba and Sada eventually chased Momo down, wrangling the kid back with the other swimmers.  Several members of the team were migrating towards shiny mirror-like boxes on wheels with slots on one side. 

“Giant cheese graters?” Haru murmured.

 _That’s kinda what they look like._ Rin snorted with laughter, throwing an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they headed over.

Performers in head-to-toe green were manning the mirror boxes, handing out tree seeds.

When it was their turn, they went up together, taking their seeds.  Each slot in the mirror box held a tiny container of soil and they could pick which one they wanted.  Rin selected the first empty one that looked good, pushing his seed firmly into the dirt.

…Whereas Haru stood there considering several different options, reaching towards one only to retract his seed.  He touched a knuckle to his chin, a look of concentration on his face.

Rin grinned, saying nothing with his arm still comfortably hooked over Haru’s shoulder.  _But if this is like picking swimsuits, we’ll be here all night._

“Nanase-kun, you know they’re going to plant these in more dirt, right?  A lot more dirt,” Konishi said from behind them.

“I know,” Haru said without turning.  “But if the soil isn’t moist enough, it won’t be good.  I want to give my tree the best possible chance.”

Takara gave an exasperated sigh.  “Haruka, it’s a _plant_ , not a baby.”

Haru glanced back at her.  “It’s a baby tree.”

“Baby tree!”  Momo squirmed in with them, poking his seed into one of the soil containers at knee height.

Haru finally made a selection, pulling the container out of the slot and placing his seed inside.  “Rin, take a picture.”

Rin cocked a brow, withdrawing his arm.  “Of you and the baby tree?”

Haru nodded, his face completely serious.

Rin dug out his phone, ignoring a slew of new text messages.  “Don’t tell me.  You’re not thinking, like, in ten years…”  _You want to come visit our trees?_

“It could be a beautiful _sakura_ tree by then.  Yours too.”

Rin bit his tongue as he switched to his camera, unwilling to crush Haru’s tree fantasy.

“I don’t think it’s that type of seed, Nanase-kun,” Ozawa said.

“Haruka, you can’t expect to find _the_ tree…”  Takara slipped around them, planting her seed.

“I’ll know,” Haru said, posing for the picture with his soil container in one hand and his flags in the other.

“Haru…”  Rin sighed as he snapped the photo.

“I recognized you instantly and that was like three and a half years.”

 _Haru, you know I love you._ Rin lowered his phone, fighting the urge to facepalm.

“It’s a little different with people.”  Ozawa squeezed in next.

“Hey, a camera!”  Mikoshiba draped his arm over Takara’s shoulder, waving his flags at the cameraman that had snuck around the side of the mirror box.

Haru reverently placed his container back into its slot.  Together, they waved at the camera before it moved on.

Rin slipped his hands into his pockets.  “It’s a big deal to you, huh?”  _Like clean water._

Haru leaned close, kissing Rin’s cheek.  “Everything I make with you is a big deal to me, Rin,” he murmured.

Rin’s face went blazing hot.  Haru was definitely _not_ talking about baby trees anymore…

The parade was just starting the _N’s_.  With the trees taken care of, Rin and Haru joined the athletes lining the center aisle.  They were on the same side of the arena as the Australians while the athletes from the United States were on the opposite side, having entered the venue under _E_ as the _Estados Unidos da América_ in Portuguese.

“Your sister sent a photo,” Haru said, as Rin was peering through the ranks of Australians, looking for Ty.

“Hm?”

Haru showed him the image, which was a slightly blurred picture of the TV with a closeup of them—Rin grinning and Haru smiling as they proudly waved their flags and, very obviously, held hands.

 _[Hands!!!  Mom’s working her way through an entire box of tissues,]_ Gou wrote.  _[Just so you know.]_  

“You take after your mom, huh?” Haru asked.

“Oi.”

Haru smiled with his eyes, withdrawing the phone.  “Can you send me the tree picture?”

Rin exhaled.  “Yeah, sure.”  He took out his phone, sending the photo over.  Rin scanned through his messages, noting several incoherent ramblings from Nitori and a long group chat between Nagisa and Rei that was probably them voice-texting again. 

There was one message from Sousuke.  _[You guys looked good.  Your dad would’ve been proud, Rin.]_

The emotion hit him square in the gut, Rin’s eyes burning afresh.  _Sousuke…_   There were only three people in the world who could say that as more than just a platitude.  They were all half a world away.  For the first time since leaving Japan, Rin felt a wave of homesickness for his mom, his sister, and his best friend.

“Rin?”  Haru glanced up from his phone, concern in his eyes.

Rin debated for half a second if he should show Haru the message.  Wordlessly, he offered the phone. 

Haru’s eyes flicked across the text, his expression unreadable at first, then his face softened.  He took out the tissue packet again.

 _Thanks, Haru._   Rin grabbed a fresh tissue, hastily wiping his eyes.

“ _Getting into the waterworks, Rin?_ ”  Ty’s voice came from behind them.

Rin shoved the tissue into his pocket, turning to face his friend.  “ _Eh, you know me._ ”

Ty was smiling compassionately, his blond hair neatly styled.  “ _Yeah_.”  With his white and green striped blazer and gold tie, he wore white Bermuda shorts and white loafers.

Rin’s gaze got stuck on the shorts.  _Formal…shorts?_  

Ty laughed.  “ _Right, I know.  They issued us daks, too, but I guess the idea was to match the ladies_.”

The women on the Australian team wore white skirts that were the same length.

“ _You guys clean up well._ ”  Ty studied their outfits briefly. _“Shall we snap a few?_ ”

Rin smiled.  “ _Yeah, sure_.”

“ _I can do it_ ,” Haru said.

“ _No worries, mate, I got us covered_ ,” Ty said, pulling out a selfie stick.  “ _Besides, you have to be in the photo too, Haruka_.”

“ _OK_.”

The three of them huddled together, Rin with his arm around Haru’s shoulders as Ty took the pictures.

“ _Nice!  I’ll mail you, Rin_.”  Ty collapsed his selfie stick as they separated.

“ _Thanks_ ,” Rin said.

“ _By the way, my mum and dad are here.  We should hang out at some point.  They’d love to see you again_.”

“ _Yeah_.”  Rin managed a smile.  “ _That would be great_.”

“ _What about your mum and sister?_ ”

Rin shook his head.  “ _They’re home.  We looked into the prices, but_ …”  He shrugged.  _After my training abroad and private schooling, it’s not like there’s a huge surplus.  Not to mention Gou’s in college now._ Even if he wanted to get into Koutei’s coaching program like Coach Fujino suggested, the financials weren’t a given.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Ty nodded.  “ _With hotels at five-, six-hundred a night, mine are only staying a couple of days.  What about you, Haruka?_ ”

Haru shook his head.  “ _My parents are in Japan_.”

“ _Tough break_.”  The guy frowned sympathetically.  “ _At least you guys have it better than the rest of us with Tokyo in four years_.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Haru said.

The Parade of Nations moved onto the _S’s_ , both sides of the arena starting to fill.

“ _Did you guys get a chance to watch much, yet?_ ”  Ty waved them towards the aisle.  “ _Come have a look._ ”

Rin glanced at Haru.

“ _OK_.”  Haru shrugged.

They followed Ty into the crowd, finding a spot where they could see. 

“Na, Haru.”  Rin grasped his lover’s hand, leaning close.  “I never asked about your parents.  Sorry.”

“Ah.”  Haru watched the athletes from Senegal pass by.  “I didn’t even ask them.  With my dad’s work and my mom freaking out over Zika…  They said they’d come when the World Cup’s in Tokyo and for the Asian Championships this fall.  It’s not like they won’t see me swim.”

Rin pressed his lips.  _If my dad were alive, he would’ve moved heaven and earth to be here._

“I didn’t want to burden them with more.”

“…Ah.”  It wasn’t like he didn’t get it, but it still kind of sucked.  Rin glanced down at their clasped hands.  _We have each other though; I’m not complaining about that._

“Mikoshiba said his sister’s coming on Monday.”

“Mikan?”

Haru nodded.  “Just for a few days.  If there’s anything you need from home, you can ask her to bring it.”

“Like… _saba_?”  Rin arched a brow.

Haru said nothing, his lips pursed.

Rin smiled, exhaling fondly.  “ _Meu amor_ , you have a problem.”

Haru glanced at him aside.  “Loving you too much?”

The warmth spread through Rin’s chest, replacing the bittersweet-edge of their previous conversation.  “Not that,” he said, giving Haru a peck on the cheek.  “Never that.”

Haru smiled with his eyes.

-x-

After Zimbabwe, the Refugee Olympic Team and Brazil entered the stadium, both of which garnered the loudest cheers of the evening.  The entire Parade of Nations—207 delegations—had taken two hours, like Koda said.  Rin and Haru stood with the other athletes, watching as performers moved the mirror boxes into the center aisle.

“My baby tree,” Haru murmured.  He was filming with his phone.

Rin smothered a sigh.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”  Captain Ikehara stopped by with several members of the swim team.  “The Saturday swimmers are heading out.  See you guys in the morning.”

Momo was pouting on his brother’s back.  “But I’m not swimming tomorrow.”

“You’re not, but I am, little brother,” Mikoshiba said.  “So you’re going to bed on time.”

The kid’s wailing ended abruptly when Sada messed with his hair.  “Come on, Squeaker, you can sit next to me on the bus.”

Momo blushed, his eyes going wide.  “Hee.”  He grinned.

“You guys have fun,” Ozawa said, waving at Rin and Haru.  Most of the women and many of the men were leaving with them.

“Who all’s left?” Rin asked.

“Otani and Konishi are over there.”  Ozawa pointed a little ways away where the women were watching the performance with other members of the Japanese team.  “Same with Hirota and Higashi.  I lost sight of Kawamura a bit ago.  And Sugiyama-senpai is somewhere.”  She shrugged.

“We’re not gonna get in trouble for curfew?” Haru asked.

Ozawa smiled.  “Not tonight.” 

Takara smirked as she headed off with the others.  “Enjoy the fireworks, Wonder Twins.”  She belted out one line of the song in bad English, “ _Baby you’re a firework—_ ”

_Tch._

Then the stadium lights dimmed and Haru was tugging him back towards the front row.  In a space formed in the center of the arena, performers spun the mirror boxes, forming the Olympic rings.  Gasps and cheers rose as the boxes opened, green trees bursting forth.  Confetti shot into the sky and the fireworks started again—

This time they had the perfect view as the Olympic rings sizzled overhead in white and red light, followed by arcs of gold.  Rin gripped Haru’s hand, his breath catching in his throat—

Haru leaned in as the fireworks faded into smoke.  Lips brushed Rin’s jaw, just below his left ear.  “I like the fireworks best, Rin.”

Rin’s cheeks heated as he met his lover’s gaze, the dim blue lighting reflecting in Haru’s hair.  He pressed his lips, but couldn’t hold back the smile.  _I don’t regret singing that for you._

The announcers were speaking again, spotlights focusing on a white platform near them with two flag poles.  The Brazilian flag flew atop one of the poles.  At the base of the platform, the flags carried into the stadium by each delegation were held by performers.  Speeches followed from the podium by the President of the Rio Olympic Committee as well as the President of the IOC.  It was all in a mix of Portuguese, English, and French; Rin caught some of it but not all. 

The presentation of the Olympic Laurel came after, with a tribute video and children in white running down the center aisle of the stadium with kites, escorting a retired Olympian from Kenya—the first recipient of the award.  A lump formed in Rin’s throat as he watched the children in the video as well as those running through the arena.  Haru paused filming to squeeze his hand.

The next segments were familiar to Rin from past Opening Ceremonies.  The Olympic flag was raised while a choir sang the Olympic Hymn, followed by the Olympic Oaths taken in Portuguese on behalf of all athletes, judges, and coaches.

Then the music started—

Haru inhaled sharply beside Rin.  “Is it samba?”

Rin grinned.

It began with a little performance here and there…then a parade of drummers in elaborate costumes—vibrant pastels—were coming down the center aisle.

Haru surged forward, pulling Rin right up to the edge of the parade.  Fortunately, he didn’t try to go any further.  Rin chuckled to himself, remembering how much Haru liked mascots.  _The bigger and more outrageous the costumes, the better, Haru?_

The rhythm of the drums filled the arena, the parade guided by a shrill whistle, and there was _samba_.  Rin didn’t think Haru blinked once as they watched dancers’ feet in front of them as well as on the video screens.  It was one thing to try to follow the dancers’ movements during the slow parts of the song, but when they double-timed it—  _Shit, how do they do that?_  

More and more, Rin found his eyes drifting to Haru during the performance, watching the spark in blue eyes and the rapt attention.  It filled him with pleasure that Haru was enjoying this.  _I know you could’ve been happy, never leaving Iwatobi._   He knew the cost; how hard it was at times for Haru to be here with him, away from friends, family, and everything familiar.  Rin cherished the moment—one in a series of many now, glimpses of the wider world that Haru actually _liked_.

“Rin.”  Haru pulled him close without taking his eyes off the dancers.  “Do you think they have samba lessons in Japan?”

Rin laughed, shifting to wrap his arms around Haru’s shoulders from behind.  “That, or we come back sometime.”

“In ten years to visit our trees?”

“Yeah.”  He grinned.

A parade of samba dancers down the center aisle was the finale of the performance, a loud cheer rising from the crowd when the music ended.

As the applause died down, the announcers came on again.  “ _Mesdames et messieurs, la flamme Olympique_.”

Rin didn’t need to hear the English.  He bit back a squeal, squeezing Haru tightly.  “Haru, the torch!”

Haru glanced back at him.  “I don’t get it.  It’s just some fire.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin rattled his lover.  _I’m gonna bite you later._ “It’s not just _some fire_.  It’s from Olympia in Greece.  They lit it back in April and brought it all the way here.  There’s even a special lantern they use to carry it on the airplane.”

Haru’s gaze warmed with amusement.  “You know a lot about this, Rin.”

Rin snorted.  “Shut up, Haru.”  _Like I’m an Olympic nerd or something._

Haru smiled.

The stadium lights dimmed and all the athletes pressed as close to the center aisle as they could get.  The arena was an ocean of cellphones glittering in the dark.  Music started—at first only drums with a steady _tha-thump_ like a heartbeat; Rin felt his heart start to pound—

The torch appeared in the entryway to resounding applause—the golden flame burning atop a conical white torch, the runner wearing white athletic gear with bright slashes of yellow along the sleeves.  Rin bit his lower lip, holding his breath as the flame went by.  This moment, more than any other thus far, gave him the sense of being part of something bigger than himself.  He wasn’t just standing with the world here in Rio; he was connected to the Olympic legacy—past and future.  From Tokyo 2020…to London, Beijing, Athens, Sydney, Atlanta, Barcelona…to the Olympics in Moscow, Montreal, and Munich that his dad would’ve watched growing up.  Inside, Rin was still a kid sitting rapt, too close to the TV with a budding Olympic dream.  In that timeless instant, while the flame still burned in his eyes, Rin imagined that his dad—at twelve years old—was here with the kid he’d been; that they were experiencing this together, the fulfillment of their shared childhood dream.

The stadium blurred in Rin’s vision as the tears gathered in his eyes.  He pressed his cheek to Haru’s hair, unwilling to look away even as the emotion made him tremble.

Haru lifted a hand to his arms, saying nothing, just _being_ there. 

Rin curled his fingers into Haru’s and held on tight.

The torch passed hands twice as the music swelled, then the final runner was mounting the steps on the far side of the arena, climbing up to the Olympic Cauldron—

There was a collective pause, breaths held throughout the audience as the runner lowered the torch…  The cauldron burst aflame and a thunderous cheer surged through the crowd.  As the runner stepped back, the cauldron began to ascend, borne skyward on four wires, rising above the arena and the whole audience.  Rin sniffed hard, clinging to Haru as he watched.

The cauldron rose to the center of a giant, multi-spoked metal sculpture that at once began to open like a starburst, continuously unfurling like the tumbling core of the sun.  Its reflections scattered across the stadium in sweeping arcs.  It was _beautiful_ , Rin gripping his lover’s hand as a few tears fell; even Haru was barely breathing. 

The music rose to a climax of strings and gently faded, drawing a roar from the audience in the momentary pause—

Then the sky lit with gold along the entire ring of the rooftop—fireworks bursting forth in red, white, blue, and yellow—

Rin felt the _boom_ of each launch through the soles of his shoes, starbursts and arcs of color exploding above them one after another.  It was an incredible sight, the gasps and cheers around him echoing in his heart as he craned his neck to watch.  He loosened his hold just a little, so they could both gaze up at the display while the music flowed around them.

The fireworks went on for _minutes_ , the launches timed to the swell of the strings.  The awe of the moment ballooned inside him and he was grinning, pointing with his free hand while his other hand was still locked with Haru’s.

“Haru, did you see that one?”  Crimson fireworks sliced across each other, followed by long rings of gold, red, and pink.  “ _Haru!_ ”  Rin shook his lover, barely containing his glee.  “Are you watching?”

“Yeah.  I am, Rin.”  But Haru wasn’t looking at the fireworks.

Rin’s breath caught as he met Haru’s gaze, the fireworks shimmering off black hair and Haru’s blue eyes—  Eyes that were _moist_ and full of him.  Rin saw himself—all boyish and grinning and _free_ —and there weren’t any words.  The pleasure in Haru’s smile was staggering and Rin knew he’d never find a love like this again.  In that moment, he wanted to believe that God _had_ heard those prayers he’d sobbed into his pillow as a child, not bringing his dad back to him like he’d begged, but giving him a miracle all the same.

Haru’s smile only brightened.  “Show me more, Rin.”

He was grinning so hard his cheeks hurt.  Rin tugged Haru closer, pointing again as the sky continued to sizzle and burst overhead—

-x-

The bus ride back to the Athlete’s Village felt surreal—like a daydream.  Everyone was still hyped up; the dining hall was rowdy afterwards.  It seemed like the party would go all night for those who weren’t competing in the early events.

For Rin, it was only when they crept into their dark, quiet apartment on the eighth floor that things started to feel real again.  …And his reality was the feel of Haru’s mouth against his own, nimble fingers loosening neckties and working dress shirt buttons.

There was one light on near the beds when Haru laid him down, their shirts opened to their waists, belts and trousers still on.  Haru made quick work of their shoes, then returned to him, sinking against Rin’s lips as they shrugged out of their blazers and tossed the garments aside.  With less than thirty-six hours to their first events, there wouldn’t be sex tonight, but Rin still wanted this.  He ran his hands up Haru’s back, beneath the dress shirt, his breath hitching as Haru’s mouth trailed along his jaw and down to the column of his throat.  Time seemed to slow as they gathered each other close, with _I love you’s_ whispered against skin and their soft breathing filling the otherwise soundless room.  Though the night was destined to end with cold showers, these private intimacies were still a kind of _lovemaking_ in Rin’s mind; there wasn’t any other word that seemed to fit.

Rin closed his eyes as one of Haru’s hands slipped into his hair, feeling one pleasant shiver after another.  He dragged fingertips across shifting muscles, only to dig in as lips and gentle teeth played along his collarbone.  After that, it wasn’t long before he had to dislodge his lover with a nudge, his breaths rough as Haru returned to his lips with a chaste kiss.  Haru’s loose necktie pooled against Rin’s chest.  Smiling, Rin pulled it free and pushed the shirt off Haru’s shoulders. 

He rolled them, putting Haru underneath with one of his knees parting his lover’s.  There he paused, waiting—

Haru lifted his chin in invitation and it was all Rin needed to move in for a longer, deeper kiss.  He kept it torturously languid, attuned to every change in Haru’s breathing and the tremors in fingers woven into his hair.  Rin slipped an arm beneath Haru’s shoulder, drawing his lover into a closer embrace.  He savored the pleasured sigh that sounded in Haru’s throat, the two of them finally breaking the kiss for air.  Their gazes met, Haru’s eyes rich fields of blue, filled with affection.  Wanting to give more, Rin dipped his head, shifting his kisses to the side of Haru’s neck and gradually moving lower.  The fingers in his hair curled, but Haru wasn’t pushing him away yet.  Rin exhaled as he reached the juncture of Haru’s neck and shoulder, feeling Haru tremble beneath him.  He tried a kiss…  When that was OK, yielding the softest gasp—oh _God_ , he couldn’t help it, biting down lightly—

Haru’s muffled groan came with a shove.

Rin backed off, pushing himself up to sit on his ankles.  His stomach clenched as he watched Haru’s heaving chest, the way Haru shoved one hand into his hair as he gathered himself.  Rin sank his teeth into his lower lip, knowing they were both at their limits for tonight. 

Haru sat up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed.  “You want the first shower or the second?”

Rin lifted a brow.  “Not together?” he asked, even though he knew he couldn’t handle it.  _I shouldn’t tease._

The look Haru gave him almost ignited him on the spot.  “You’re the one who said it—that there are bad ideas and then there are _bad ideas._ ”  Haru smiled, getting up.  “I’ll tell you when I’m OK with you coming in.”

As Haru headed into the bathroom, Rin flopped down onto his back, sighing as he stared at the ceiling.  _Eight days._   He was swimming—he hoped—seven of those days.  _It’ll be OK._   Once the competition started, he knew it would get easier.

Rin was calmer when the shower quit a few minutes later and the bathroom door opened.

“Rin?”

He got up, discarding his shirt and necktie as he headed into the bathroom.  But the sight of his wet and mostly-naked lover, with just a towel loosely clutched around delectable hips, made him stop with a grunt.  _This still isn’t going to work._

Haru’s smile was empathetic.  He squeezed by with a chaste brush of lips, leaving Rin alone.

Rin cranked the water as cold as it would go before he finished disrobing.  He stood under the spray until he was _sure_ icicles had formed in his hair, then he got out and brushed his teeth.

When he returned, he found that Haru had put their formal clothes away before curling up in bed.

That was when Rin finally felt the fatigue.  “What time is it?” he asked as he grabbed a pair of underwear.

“Almost three,” Haru murmured without opening his eyes; all but the top of his head was buried beneath the covers.

 _No wonder_.  Rin towel-dried his hair and came to bed.  His teeth were chattering as he slid between the sheets.

Haru turned over, glomming onto him immediately.

Rin smiled to himself, reaching for the lamp—

His gaze caught on the picture frame on his nightstand.  For once, the emotion in his chest was all sweetness and light.  He turned off the lamp, snuggling beneath the blankets in Haru’s arms.

“Rin?”

“Hm?”

Haru kissed the nape of his neck.  “I liked every sight you showed me today.”

Happiness unfurled within him like a flower blooming.  Rin closed his eyes.  “Haru…”

* * *

Saturday, August 6th, 2016

* * *

Rin’s slumber was broken a couple of times—once when Haru got up to use the bathroom and a second time when Momo ran from the apartment yelling, “Yippee!!”  With no attempt by Mikoshiba to shush the kid, curfew must’ve been over.  Rin grunted, shoving his face into his pillow. 

“I don’t wanna get up,” Haru muttered. 

 _Me either._   “Heats don’t start until one pm.”  _We can sleep another hour._   Rin tried to recall if they were due for an afternoon practice today, but he was fairly sure their coaches hadn’t scheduled anything.

Warm fingers pawed at his arm.  “Rin, get over here.”

“Nn.”  _Why do I have to move?_   “You get over _here_.”

“I was over there last night.  It’s your turn.”

In a king-sized bed, the argument might’ve made sense.  Here, all one of them needed to do was roll over.  At the moment, though, even _that_ felt like it required a ton of effort.

 _Ah, fuck it._   He’d never win a laziness battle with Haru.  The mattress creaked as Rin rolled onto his back.  _Almost there._   With a soft growl, he completed the rotation, colliding gently with Haru.  The heat of Haru’s bare skin against his own was terribly nice, semi-arousing—though he was too tired to do anything more than notice the fact. 

Haru’s arms wound loosely around his waist, drawing him in until he was halfway on top.

“This can’t be comfortable,” Rin murmured, tucking his arm behind Haru’s shoulder.

Haru stifled a yawn.  “It’s really comfortable.  Shut up already.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin nipped at Haru’s skin and went back to sleep.

At noon, they finally dragged themselves out of bed, brushing their teeth side-by-side in front of the bathroom mirror, trading sassy glances as they perused each other in their underwear.  After, they took turns washing up and getting dressed.

There wasn’t any _need_ for a swimsuit today, but Rin worked his square legs on anyway, donning a white and red Team Japan polo and gray shorts over top.  Haru came out of the bathroom in matching attire as Rin was settling his lanyard around his neck. 

“Ready?” Rin asked.

Haru didn’t answer right away, walking over with a gleam in his eyes that made Rin wet his lips, his heart thudding in anticipation.  The kiss was firm, sending a tantalizing shiver down Rin’s spine before Haru let him go.

“I’m ready now,” Haru said.

-x-

The transportation mall was insane with athletes dragging their gear, running for buses.  Carrying their stick flags, Rin and Haru got in line for transportation to Barra Olympic Park alongside competitors in tennis, basketball, judo, and fencing.  They managed to score seats after a few full buses departed, squeezed in amidst a mash-up of multiple languages.  Rin didn’t understand a word, but the excitement in voices was obvious.

Traffic approaching Barra was at a standstill, police stopping cars to direct their bus to the drop off point.  Parking lots were full, people were queued up in long lines at the security gate, awaiting entrance to the park.  Rin and Haru followed the other athletes to their designated entrance, going through the usual checks before they were let in.  The day was clear and on the hot side, though Haru was quick to correct him anytime he complained about the heat.  _“This isn’t hot, Rin.  Phoenix is hot.  Like an oven.”_

Rin smiled to himself as he caught Haru’s hand, the two of them merging into the streams of spectators and athletes headed for the Aquatic Centre.

Haru eyed him suspiciously.  “What?”

Rin’s smile grew.  “Nothing.”  He tugged on Haru’s hand.  “Come on.”

They made it with minutes to spare, finding their teammates in the second-floor stands on the start side of the pool, in the corner off lane nine.  A screen suspended from the roof over the blocks bore the Rio Olympic logo and _WELCOME TO THE RIO 2016 OLYMPIC GAMES -_ _SWIMMING – HEATS – STARTS AT 13:00_ with the date and current time.  The stands weren’t full with people still trickling in to find their seats, but the media were out in droves, running final checks on their equipment, and Rio event staff in their sunny polo shirts and khaki pants were prolific.  At the moment, staff members were busy clearing the pool at the end of warm ups.

“Rin-senpai!  Nanase-senpai!”  Momo was bouncing around between Kawamura and Otani in the front row, all of them in matching Team Japan polo shirts and shorts.

“Hey guys!” Otani said, as bright and enthusiastic as usual, her light brown hair pulled up into a bun.

Kawamura covered a yawn, nodding at them.

 _Yeah…I don’t want to know what you were doing all night._   Rin waved in greeting as he and Haru descended the steps to join them.  “Hey.”

Kawamura made room so Rin and Haru could sit next to Momo.

“Rin-senpai!”  The kid tackled Rin, making him bump into Haru.

“ _Oi_.”  Rin peeled a vibrating Momo off of him.  “How much coffee did you have this morning?”

“Hee.”  The kid grinned.

Then the announcers came on and Otani almost yelped.  “It’s starting!”

The pool in front of them was glossy and still as the officials were introduced in French, English, and Portuguese to applause from the crowd.  From the corner of his eye, Rin caught sight of Haru tugging on the collar of his polo shirt as he gazed at the water.

 _Tch_.  _Am I babysitting both of you today?_   Rin took hold of Haru’s free hand.

Haru glanced over.

Rin gave his lover a pointed look.  _I know what you’re doing._

Haru sighed.

 _“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the heats for the men’s four-hundred-meter individual medley.  Heat one—”_   The announcement was in English first, then in Portuguese.

A cheer rose from the audience as three swimmers walked out on the start side of the pool, from the entryway behind the blocks.  The overhead screen listed the swimmers’ names.

“Nii-chan!”

“Sit _down_.”  Rin wrestled the kid into his chair.  “He’s not until heat three.”

“Aww.”  Momo pouted.

The swimmers stripped down to their suits and approached the pool.  The whistle sounded and the athletes climbed up to the blocks.

Rin exhaled, squeezing Haru’s hand.  _Tomorrow, that’ll be us._   He saw Haru’s eyes warm though his gaze never left the water.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

At the start signal, the swimmers dove and the cheering began.  Swimming at the 2016 Olympics was _officially_ underway.

A swimmer from Liechtenstein won the first heat and an Australian (not Ty) won the second.

In the third heat, Mikoshiba was in lane four and Ty was in lane three.

Momo and Otani leapt to their feet, waving their Japanese flags.  “Nii-channnn!!”  “Mikoshiba-kun!!” 

Behind the start blocks, Mikoshiba was stripping down to his _sakura_ speedo, tucking his warmups into the provided bin.  He paused to aim a grin and thumbs-up at his brother.

“Think your sister’s watching?” Haru asked.

“It’s 1am at home…”

Haru smiled.  “I bet she is.”

“Mn.”  _I’m sure you’re right._

The whistle sounded, the swimmers climbing onto the blocks. 

“ _Take your marks_.”

The crowd quieted enough for the start signal—it was still loud compared to what Rin was used to—and the men dove—

“Nii-chann!!”

Mikoshiba shot out to an early lead for the fly leg, leading the heat across the pool.  He was under twenty-six seconds at the open turn with Ty just behind him in lane three.  Mikoshiba continued to gain speed in the back fifty, hitting the wall a full second ahead of the competition as he flipped over to backstroke—

Rin knew it already—no one was going to catch up with the former Samezuka captain.  Mikoshiba widened his lead to more than two seconds at the 150m mark and it was almost three when he switched to breaststroke at the race’s halfway point.  Usually the breaststroke leg was where Mikoshiba lapsed a bit, but not today.  He had three and a half seconds on the British swimmer in lane six when he started in to freestyle and Rin was going deaf from Momo and Otani screaming beside him.  The pack sped up on the free leg, the second and third place swimmers chasing Mikoshiba down, but it wasn’t enough.  Mikoshiba hit the wall just over 4:10, with the British swimmer and Ty both hitting a second after for 4:11 and change.

Rin had one arm up to shield himself as Momo hopped from foot to foot beside him.  _The captain defies logic._   That wasn’t even Mikoshiba’s best time in the 400IM.  Rin could hear it in his head, the way his Samezuka peers would’ve been shouting their heads off back home.  In the pool, Mikoshiba had stripped off his cap and goggles; he pumped a fist into the air to the cheering of the crowd.

“Your future brother-in-law’s pretty amazing, Rin,” Haru said.

Rin glared askance at his boyfriend.  “Oh, do _not_ start with me.”

Haru smiled.

“Wait.”  He paled, grabbing Haru’s arm.  “You’re not serious.  Did my sister say something to you?”

Haru laughed.  “No.  I’m just teasing.”

 _Ass._   Rin growled in the back of his throat.

Mikoshiba, Ty, and the rest of the third heat swimmers cleared the pool.  The fourth heat came out, taking the blocks.

“Koda-kun!”  “Koda-senpai!!”

Koda, in black and _sakura_ jammers, had lane five, flanked by Americans on either side.

“Takuya!” 

The guy apparently had more than a few fans after the London games.  He paused to wave before stepping up to the block—

The fourth heat was faster than the third.  Koda had a solid lead through fly, back, and breast, but the American in lane six pulled ahead at the end of the freestyle leg.  Koda finished second, just over 4:09 with the other American coming in at 4:11.  The times flashed up on the screen overhead before switching to the overall ranking—tonight’s 400IM final would consist of American, Japanese, and Australian swimmers, along with one from Great Britain and one from Spain.  Koda and Mikoshiba had the second and third seeds, respectively.

The cheering finally dulled to a low roar as the men cleared the pool deck and the announcer came on again, introducing the women’s 100m butterfly heats.

“I’m gonna grab something to drink,” Haru said.  “Want anything?”

“Mm.  Just water.”  Rin reluctantly untangled his hand from Haru’s.  “You don’t want me to come with you?”

Haru shook his head.  “I got this.”  He stood up.  “Anyone else want something?”

“I’m good,” Kawamura said.

“Cola!”  Momo bounced around, grinning.

“I’d take water too if you don’t mind, Nanase-kun,” Otani said.

Haru nodded.  “I’ll be right back.”  He left, Rin watching him go.

 _In Sydney, you didn’t want me to leave you alone for five seconds._   Rin felt a rush of pride.  _I knew you could do this, Haru._

His gaze fell to the shimmering water down below.  … _Or you’re sneaking off to the pool._ Rin pursed his lips with the second thought.  _If you’re not back in ten minutes…_

There were six heats for the women’s 100m fly.  Japan was swimming in the third and sixth heats.  A member of the Refugee Olympic team won the first heat; Japan took second place in the third heat.  But the top twenty-four women in the world were in heats four, five, and six.

Haru came back nine minutes later—not that Rin was counting—with three water bottles and a juice box.  “This is the best I could do,” he said, handing Momo the carton.  “It’s sparkling juice.”

“Yippee!  Thanks, Nanase-senpai!”

Haru passed out the water bottles and sat down again.  Rin grinned, sliding an arm around his lover as he watched Momo happily suck down his juice.

Rin leaned in close, kissing Haru on the cheek.  “Good one.”

Haru opened his water bottle and sipped.  “Mikoshiba was in the Athletes’ Lounge.  I couldn’t get away with anything else.”

Rin sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned his head against Haru’s.  _Yup, you’re gonna spoil our kids rotten when it comes to food._

The Americans won heats four and five with times sub-57 seconds.  Ozawa was in the sixth heat, in lane two.

“Yumi-chan!!”  Takara and Koda’s voices came from the corridors on the start side of the pool. 

“Ozawa-senpai!”  “Yumiko!!”

The first seed Swedish swimmer in lane four garnered the most cheering—by far—as the women stepped up to the blocks.  It was another fast final heat, won by Sweden, with the top five swimmers all neck-in-neck at the wall.  Ozawa’s 57.30 qualified her for tonight’s semi-finals, in eighth place overall.

“Hey guys!”  Mikoshiba appeared in the stands, his hair still damp and his warmup jacket unzipped.  He wore the biggest, cheesiest grin Rin could imagine.

_And you couldn’t put on a shirt?_

“Nii-chan!!”  Momo dove across Rin and Haru’s laps to reach his brother.

“Haha, Momotarou!”  Mikoshiba caught his brother in a headlock, grinding his knuckles into the kid’s hair. 

“Congrats, Mikoshiba-kun!” Otani said.

“Thanks!”

They shifted around again, Mikoshiba taking the seat next to Momo on Rin’s left.  The guy’s phone was buzzing with a text message before he ever sat down.  Mikoshiba pulled out his phone and Rin could’ve sworn he caught a glimpse of red hair on the guy’s lock screen adjacent to the message.

“Er.”  Mikoshiba coughed, discretely angling the phone away from Rin as he hunched forward and started tapping away.

Rin flicked his eyes skyward, twisting towards Haru.

Haru’s gaze was a sympathetic, _Get used to this, Rin._

Rin glared mildly at his boyfriend.  _You’re not helping._

Haru smiled with his eyes, taking another sip from his water bottle.

Japan had one competitor in heat five of the men’s 400m free, though he didn’t qualify for the final.  In the seventh heat, Ty took third place and made the final for Australia along with another teammate.  Immediately following, the women were up for the 400IM.  Nakagawa and Takara were competing in heats four and five (of five), respectively.

“Mai-chan!”  “Nakagawa-senpai!”

Nakagawa had the better qualifying time compared to Takara; she was in lane six.  After the start, she trailed the pack in fifth place throughout the fly and backstroke legs.  During the breaststroke leg she surged into third place, but couldn’t keep it during the free.  Nakagawa finished fourth, just under 4:37.  The frustration on her face was visible as she looked up at the board.  It wasn’t her best time.

The fourth heat cleared the pool and the fifth heat came out.

“Takara-kun!” Mikoshiba shouted with his hands cupped around his mouth.

Even Haru leaned forward.  “Takara!”

Rin arched a brow, unable to recall ever hearing Haru cheer for anyone, even Makoto.  He didn’t comment on it, smiling to himself.

Over by lane seven, Takara splashed some water on herself and adjusted the straps of her black and gold _sakura_ kneeskins.

As the swimmers took the blocks, Haru was still sitting forward, his grip tightening on Rin’s hand.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

Takara’s reaction time was good; she came up from her dolphin kicks in second place, going to fly.  It was another fast heat, already the swimmers were ahead—by as much as three-quarters of a second—compared to the previous heat.  Takara and the Spanish swimmer in lane five were right up with the leader during the fly leg, but the top seed Hungarian swimmer _killed it_ in the backstroke leg, hitting the halfway point nearly three seconds ahead of everyone else.  Takara held onto second place through backstroke and breaststroke, but started to slip when it came to the all-out sprint for the last hundred free.  Haru was gripping Rin’s hand hard when Takara hit the wall at 4:34.55, taking fifth place in the heat.  Even Rin knew that time was unheard of for her; her personal best was 4:36-something.

Mikoshiba and other members of the team were on their feet and yelling.  In the pool, Takara was beaming as she looked at the board.  She yanked off her cap and goggles, her wet black hair tumbling free as she slammed a triumphant fist into the water, breathing hard and celebrating more than the first place Hungarian in lane four who’d posted a ridiculous 4:28-something.

Haru sat back with a smile, looking pleased as he relaxed his hold on Rin’s hand.

Rin pulled his hand free, grinning as he shook out his fingers.

A sheepish blush rose in Haru’s cheeks.  “It’s her best event.”

“I know that, Haru,” Rin said, sneaking in for a kiss.  “I’m just happy to see you excited.”

Haru’s flush deepened, warmth gathering in his eyes.

Footsteps approached.  “You guys remember we’re not in the Village, right?” Ozawa asked, her voice bright with the tease.

Rin’s face went hot as he looked up at her and Koda, both of them with wet hair.  Koda had an arm draped across Ozawa’s shoulders.

Haru craned his neck towards them.  “Congratulations, Ozawa-senpai, Koda-senpai.”

“Hey, thanks!”  The pair grinned.

After a round of hand-slaps, hugs, and scooting around, everyone reclaimed seats as the heats for the men’s 100m breaststroke followed.  Japan had two entrants in the race, Captain Ikehara in heat four and another teammate in heat five.

The entire spectating team—Rin and Haru included—was on their feet when Ikehara came out and stripped down behind the block for lane six, next to the Americans in lanes five and four.

“Captain Ikehara!!”

The captain spared them a wave before going to adjust his block, the gold lines of his black and _sakura_ jammers glinting under the overhead lights.

Ikehara came off the blocks strong, neck-in-neck with the American swimmers for the first fifty meters.  He was only a tenth of a second behind at the open turn, but then he came up to his sprint—  For the last fifteen meters, the Americans might’ve been standing still as Ikehara surged past them to the wall.  He hit sub-59, winning the heat, and Team Japan roared, yelling and stomping their feet in the stands and earning plenty of dirty looks from other spectators.

Ikehara looked pleased as he glanced at the board, exchanging handshakes with his competitors before climbing from the pool.  By the end of six heats, he was second overall behind the top seed from Great Britain, whose 57-and-a-half in the sixth heat was an Olympic and World Record.  The second Japanese swimmer in the event didn’t qualify for the semi-finals.

“Haruka!  Seijuurou!”  Takara tackled her Koutei peers when she arrived, her wet black hair flying everywhere.

Rin smothered a surge of jealousy as Haru gave her a quick squeeze in return.

“Nice race, Takara.”

“Way to go, Takara-kun!”  Mikoshiba gave her a bear hug.

“Nakagawa-senpai?” Haru asked.

Takara waved a hand.  “She’s swimming it off.  She’ll be OK.”

Haru nodded, looking relieved.

The final event of the afternoon was the women’s 4-by-100 free relay.  There were only two heats; Japan was in lane two of heat one.

“Sada-nee!!”  Momo was jumping out of his chair, waving with both arms as the women came out.

Sada—the tallest of the four—stayed in her warmups with her hands tucked into the pockets of her jacket as she stood behind as anchor.

Japan was between Italy and Switzerland, with the team from the Netherlands as second seed in lane four.  The Australians and Americans were both in heat two.

Takara had inserted herself on Haru’s right and was hanging off his shoulder, much to Rin’s annoyance.  But he let it slide, this time, since Haru’s left hand was woven through his and he trusted Haru to nudge her off if she got too irritating.

Akamine was on the block in _sakura_ kneeskins, leading off for Team Japan.  Aoyama and Furuta—the relay only swimmers—were behind her. 

“ _Take your marks_.”

The arena hushed as the women tensed—

At the signal, Akamine dove.  She came up strong, right up with the front pack of Sweden in lane five and Italy in lane three. 

Rin felt his heart start to pound as she flip-turned at the wall in second place and sprinted back towards the start where Aoyama was up on the block, waiting.  Relay was a rush like nothing else and he gripped Haru’s hand, impatient for their turn tomorrow.

Akamine took the lead by a sliver heading into the wall.

 _Shit—_ Aoyama’s dive was scary-close to being too early.  She carried their lead to the turn, but her sprint wasn’t as fast and it was the Netherlands who took the lead into the second exchange.  Furuta’s dive was clean—comfortable—Japan slipping into third behind Italy during her leg.

Then Sada was on the block and Rin was almost holding his breath—  This exchange, to anchor, was the one he lived for, whether he was in the pool or on the block waiting for Haru.

Sada’s dive was aggressive but solidly timed.  Her sprint was the fastest of the team by far, but it wasn’t enough to catch the leaders.  Japan took fourth in their heat at 3:36 and change.

Sada’s face was unreadable at this distance, but Rin had been around her long enough to know she’d be disappointed with the results, especially with the powerhouse teams yet to swim. 

In the second heat, Australia, the United States, and Canada dominated, dropping Japan to seventh overall, but their time was still good enough to qualify them for the evening’s finals.

With afternoon events complete, spectators and athletes streamed from the arena—some jovial, some crushed.  It was 3:45pm and Rin was peckish after their rushed breakfast, but by the way Haru was gazing at the pool, he knew what they’d be doing for the next while.

Officials and staff were cleaning up the pool deck, down below.  Team Japan finally relinquished their seats, heading for the exit.  Haru was slow to move.  Amidst animated chatter, Rin set his lips to his lover’s ear. 

“The warmup pool might be open.  Wanna check?”

Haru stopped breathing, glancing back at him with eyes that shimmered.

Rin chuckled, tugging on Haru’s hand.  They snuck away from the group, heading downstairs and past the Athletes’ Lounge.  The warm up pool was mostly cleared out other than a few diehards and a couple of athletes recovering in the ice baths.

Rin and Haru stripped down to their square legs in their team’s area, leaving their bracelets on.  Neither of them had brought caps or goggles, but it didn’t matter.  As soon as Haru had his clothes off, he was up on the block for the nearest empty lane, diving in.

Rin took the adjacent lane, slipping into the water and starting lazy pulls of free, feeling for the lane lines as he swam with his eyes closed.  The sound of conversation gradually faded; there was just the water gently flowing over his body, the churn of his own kicks, and Haru in the lane next to him.  Rin swam fifty meters at a time, alternating fly and free, until his muscles hummed.  After that, he cut through Haru’s lane and sat on the side of the pool, watching Haru as the water dripped from his hair.  Haru sparkled under the overhead lights, the water cascading off his arms with each smooth pull.  It was a sight Rin didn’t tire of, even with his stomach rumbling.  He loved seeing Haru so free in the water without competition pressures interfering or a sprained wrist to hold him back. 

At length, Haru came up for air, shaking his head to fling the water from his hair.  His blue eyes found Rin and softened.  Rin smiled as his lover swam over.

“You’re done swimming?” Haru asked.

“I like watching you,” Rin said.

Haru’s eyes warmed with pleasure.  He glanced around, noting, as Rin had, that the pool and ice baths were vacant.  There were just a few staff members tiding up last bits of gear and heading for the exit.

Haru perched his elbows on the edge of the pool, beside Rin’s legs.  His gaze tracked the personnel as they left.

Rin inhaled as a glint came into Haru’s eyes.  “We’re _not_ in the Village.”  _I’m sure there’s cameras all over the place._

Haru’s smile was sly.  “I didn’t say anything, Rin.”

Rin lowered his voice.  “I can tell when you’re thinking frisky thoughts, Haru.”

Haru’s gaze flicked to him, his blue eyes a shade or two darker than normal.  “Then…in the Village is OK?”

Rin’s cheeks heated.  “A little bit.  …If no one’s around.”

Haru hoisted himself out of the pool.  “Let’s head back.”

Rin swallowed.  “Haru—”

“I’m hungry.”

 _Oh._   Rin smiled, getting up.  “Why didn’t you say so?”

“Because you’re fun to tease.”  Haru pulled on his polo and shorts.

Rin rolled his eyes, grabbing the clothes Haru tossed at him.  He liked it though.

-x-

The sun set while they ate lunch at the dining hall in the Village.  It was dusky by the time they got back to their apartment.  Momo’s shoes were missing from the entryway when they came in and the brothers’ bedroom door was closed.  Mikoshiba was probably napping if Rin had to guess.  As to where Momo had run off to…Rin shrugged it off mentally, following Haru into their room and closing the door.  There was no point trying to watch the kid twenty-four hours a day.

Rin flicked on the lights while Haru sat on the edge of the bed, untying his sneakers.  “It’s time, Haru,” he said, digging into his suitcase and pulling out his shave down kit.  “You ready?”

Haru slipped off his shoes, eyeing Rin with one brow raised.  “You mean it’s time to get mostly naked, slather ourselves in shaving cream, and help each other with all the parts we can’t reach?”

 _When you say it like that, it sounds like a really bad idea._ Rin bit down on his lower lip.  _Or a really good one without the stupid rule._

Haru’s eyes gleamed as he got up and shucked off his clothes with flourish.  “I’m ready, Rin,” he said in sultry tones.

Rin nearly fainted.

After a nice _cooling_ bottle of water, Rin spread towels on the bedroom floor while Haru used the bathroom.  Normally, he’d do this in square legs, but this was the Olympics and like hell Rin was letting body hair and dead skin layers get in the way of his streamline.  He bought a speedo before leaving Australia for this purpose.  The suit was black and covered the essentials comfortably, though not much else.  At least it wasn’t a thong like Mikoshiba preferred.  Rin had memories from group shave down sessions in the Samezuka locker room that he couldn’t forget if he tried…

Rin changed, taking off the bracelet as well, and gathered his hair into a tight ponytail.  His back was turned when Haru came out of the bathroom.  He glanced over his shoulder—

Haru was backlit by the restroom lighting, wearing a speedo that was just as skimpy as Rin’s.  His was black with slashes of purple and white.

Rin’s mouth went dry.  It shouldn’t be _that_ sexy, not when he’d seen Haru completely naked plenty of times now.  But Haru with that little tease of modesty _was_ that sexy and Rin instantly came up with dozens of better things to do than shave, most of which involved him dragging the speedo down Haru’s thighs with his teeth…

Haru came over, surveying the towels and supplies laid out with a flick of his eyes.  “How do you want to start, Rin?”

 _Tangled up, down on the floor, preferably._   Rin squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his face with one hand.  “Electric razor first,” he mumbled.  “Exfoliate in the shower, then wet shave and detail work.  Sound OK?”

“I guess.”

Rin lowered his hand, watching as Haru sat down on the towels.  “You guess?”

Haru’s open perusal had a shiver running down Rin’s spine.  “It’s not what I _want_ , but…”

Rin exhaled hard, relaxing.  It helped that the struggle was mutual.

Neither of them had much hair to remove with the electric razor, focusing on legs, forearms, and underarms.  Those areas went fast, until they paused with the razor between them, their gazes dropping to each other’s abdomens and—er—lower.

Rin cleared his throat roughly.  “Do you, uh…?”  After their time together in Spain, he was familiar with Haru’s grooming habits; they both trimmed on a regular basis.  But for shaving down…

Pink dusted Haru’s cheekbones.  “I don’t use a razor down there.  I’ll just do this part.”  He touched his own stomach, the faint trail of hair just above his speedo.  Haru looked at him.  “You?”

Rin felt the flush creep up his neck.  “Same.”

Haru cocked a brow, obviously not buying his words in concert with his reaction.

“I tried it…once.”  Rin’s face burned as he forced the words out.  “Sousuke recommended it, so…”

“Could you feel the water better?”

“That doesn’t need to feel the water better!”  Rin fanned his face with one hand, watching the amusement gather in Haru’s eyes.  “I didn’t see any benefit.  It was a lot of work and it was cold and it was itchy when it grew back—”

“Good,” Haru muttered as he claimed the razor.  “There’s not enough cold water in the world for me to help you with that.”

 _Haru…_   Rin sank his teeth into his lower lip as Haru leaned back a little, flicking the razor on and pushing down the front of his black and purple speedo a few centimeters.  Haru was careful and efficient, but Rin’s hands still curled against the towel as the hair came off.

Haru sat up when he was done, turning the razor off and blowing across the edge.  “Your turn?”

“Yeah.”  Rin accepted the razor.  “Thanks.”  Usually, he used warm water for the exfoliating part, but not today…

They scrubbed down briskly under cool spray with their speedos on.  Haru kept smelling the bottle of body wash.

“Stop doing that and turn around.”  Rin plucked the bottle from Haru’s hands.

“It smells like pineapple.” 

“It does _not_.”  Rin worked his way across Haru’s back and down each arm with a palmful of the scrub.

A soft sigh issued from Haru’s mouth.  “This part’s nice.”

Rin smiled, finishing what he was doing, then wrapping his arms around Haru from behind.  “Ah.”  He pressed his face into Haru’s hair, inhaling chlorine and the scent of the body scrub.  They stayed that way for a moment and it was as Haru said—a simple pleasure he didn’t take for granted.

Eventually, Haru twisted in his arms, planting a kiss on his lips.  “My turn,” he whispered, taking the bottle back and spinning Rin towards the wall.

After that, armed with a small basin of water, shaving cream, and disposable razors, they headed back to the towels.

“You don’t use the straight edge for this?” Haru asked.

“Oh fuck no.”  Rin cringed at the thought and Haru’s eyes warmed.

They sat side-by-side, carefully shaving their legs from their ankles all the way to the tops of their thighs.  The front half was easy enough to do alone, but…

“Lie down,” Haru said.  “I’ll give you a hand.”

Rin blushed, stretching out on his stomach on the towels.  “OK.”  He pillowed his head with his arms, swallowing hard as Haru started lathering cream onto the backs of his legs.  “You usually shave with a partner?”

“Just for my back.  Otherwise, I do what I can reach by myself.”

 _Because you don’t like people touching you…other than me, I guess._  

“You?”

“Same—just my back.  But I’ve helped guys shave their heads before.”  Rin’s toes curled by reflex as Haru lathered his calves. 

“How do you do it if you’re ticklish, Rin?”

Rin grunted.  “Just press hard and it’ll be fine.”

He heard a sound of amusement before the razor dragged across his skin.

Minutes later, Rin could’ve sworn Haru knew every ticklish spot on his body, even the parts he hadn’t been conscious of.  But it ceased being funny when Haru worked up his thighs to the edge of his speedo.  Rin returned to chewing his lip, trying to think of _anything_ but Haru touching him…not that it was working.

“OK.  You wanna sit up?  I’ll do your back.”

Rin exhaled, shifting obediently.  It got easier again—soothing rather than provocative as Haru covered his skin with shaving cream and started in.  Rin hugged his freshly shaved legs to his chest, the tension leaving his limbs as Haru worked.

“Two races tomorrow,” Rin said, resting his chin on top of his knees.  _The 200m free and the 4x100 free._   “How’s your wrist?”

“It’s fine.”  Haru paused to rinse the razor in the basin.  “Feels normal.”

“Mm.”  _Thank God_.  Rin closed his eyes.  “Haru.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad we’re doing this together.”

Haru touched the side of Rin’s face and Rin lifted his head, accepting the kiss that fell sweetly against his lips.  A bit of shaving cream was smeared on his cheek when they parted.  Rin opened his eyes, soaking up the affection in his lover’s gaze.

“Me too,” Haru said.

Haru let him help with the same areas after that.  They rinsed off in the shower and cleaned up their towels and supplies, hopping into bed when everything was done.  Rin couldn’t get enough of how smooth their skin felt or how luxurious it was to be wrapped in each other’s arms.  The only untouched parts, other than what the speedos covered, were their hands, feet, and the insides of their forearms—to better catch the water during their strokes. 

Their ‘nap’ was more kissing than dozing.  It was hard _not_ to touch each other when every minute shift or brush sent shivers through Rin’s hypersensitive skin and Haru was almost purring.

Rin was pleasantly breathless when he finally pulled away, shoving his face into his pillow.  “Haru, I think we should put some clothes on.”

“Mn…OK.”  The sheets rustled.  “I’ll make some tea.”

 _Consolation tea, huh?_   Rin watched from the corner of his eye as Haru got out of bed—still in the speedo—and crossed to his suitcase.

Haru put on his bracelet first, then stepped into a pair of shorts and slipped on Rin’s shark T-shirt.

 _It’s been a while since you wore my shirt._ Rin’s lips quirked as he eyed his lover.  He thrust the covers back and got up.  From his suitcase, he grabbed sleep pants and Haru’s blue dolphin T-shirt.

In the main room, Haru made tea with Mikoshiba’s electric kettle—decaf green tea from Rin’s stash.  They carried their paper cups out to the balcony facing the Village.  The sound of excited athletes drifted up eight floors as a soft breeze sifted through their hair and gently snapped the Japanese flag lashed to the railing. 

The night was temperate, the Village too bright for the first evening stars.  Rin and Haru leaned on the rail as they sipped, close enough that their shoulders were touching.  It was one of those times when words weren’t needed; just being together was everything.

-x-

“As for your strategic briefing—”  Coach Maekawa was with Koda and Mikoshiba by the warmup pool when Rin and Haru arrived.  “It’ll be too loud for you to hear any of my signals, so don’t rely on it.”  She shrugged, her arms folded across her _sakura_ warmup jacket.  “Just beat the guy in lane four.”

Koda and Mikoshiba—in their tech suits and swim caps, still wet from the pool—grinned at each other and fist-bumped.  The other semi-finalists and finalists were split between the team area and pool, prepping with the Japanese coaches.  Around the warm up pool, staff and coaches from the various delegations outnumbered the swimmers; the pool was busy but not terribly crowded.

“You got it, Koto-nee,” Koda said.  He lowered his voice, nudging Mikoshiba with an elbow.  “The ladies love medals.”

Behind Maekawa, Ozawa was stretching her swim cap over her gathered hair.  She rolled her eyes.

“Eh.”  Mikoshiba rolled his shoulders.  “I’m not sure how she’d react, to be honest.  She doesn’t seem the type to be swayed by that kind of stuff.  …But I’d like the chance to find out.”

Rin’s brow twitched.

Koda chuckled.  “Right.  Just think of the pictures you could send her.  Tell me she wouldn’t like _that._ ”

“ _Oi!_ ”  Rin glared at the men.  “You’re talking about my sister.”

“Oops.”  Grinning, Koda grabbed his clothes and shoes in a bundle and scampered off.  “Hey, look—it’s time for first call.”

Mikoshiba laughed uneasily, turning red as he faced them.  “Uh, Matsuoka, Nanase.  I didn’t see you guys show up.”

“We’re stealthy,” Haru said, his gaze fixed on the pool.

“You know, uh…”  Mikoshiba rubbed the back of his neck, even the tips of his ears going scarlet.  “I don’t send Gou-kun anything, uh, inappropriate.  She usually just names a muscle group and we focus on that for a while.”

Rin winced, visions of _latissimus dorsi_ -themed pictures dancing in his head.  _Gou, why?_   Somehow, that was almost worse. 

“Like…adductors?” Haru asked.

“Shut up, Haru _._ ”  If Gou was asking for pictures of _groin_ muscles, he was going to punch something.

Maekawa cleared her throat pointedly.  “Don’t be late for call, Mikoshiba-kun.”

“Uh…haha…  Thanks, Maekawa-sensei.  I’d better go…”  Mikoshiba escaped.

Rin fixed a murderous gaze on his lover.

Haru was feigning innocence.  “Can I swim?”

Maekawa glanced at the countdown clock, ticking away on a screen at the far end of the pool.  “Ten minutes and don’t get in anyone’s way, Nanase-kun.”

“Hai.”  Haru wasted no time stripping off his polo and shorts.

“Nice shave-down, Nanase,” Ozawa said.

“Thank you.”

Rin inhaled slowly through his nose.  Seriously, all he needed now was for Takara to show up and glom onto Haru and he was going to fucking lose it—

“Rin?”  Haru paused in the midst of putting on his goggles.

 _What, Haru?_   Rin met his lover’s gaze.

Haru had his head slightly cocked in that expectant way of his.  “Aren’t you coming?”

The air rushed from Rin’s lungs and his irritation went with it.  No defense in the world could stand up to Haru _waiting_ for him when the water was right there.  Rin rubbed a hand over his face.  _Not fair, Haru._   He pulled his cap and goggles from his pocket, tugging off his polo shirt.  “Ah.”

-x-

The Aquatic Centre was packed at 10pm as the first final of the evening got underway.  Rin’s phone vibrated continuously with the craziness at home.  The combined Iwatobi-Samezuka crowd—plus all their families—had taken over the local movie theater, according to Nitori.  On Rin’s right, Momo was quivering with a Japanese flag in each hand.  Haru, meanwhile, should’ve been annoyed given the crowds and the noise level, but he was just watching quietly, holding Rin’s hand and wearing his contented _I-was-in-water_ face.

The race officials were introduced first in English and Portuguese; for the evening, they wore formal blue blazers with neckties or scarves.  The media zones left of the start and right of the turn-side of the pool were five-rows deep with photographers shoulder-to-shoulder in tan vests with all of their gear.  Every camera was equipped with a massive zoom lens and other bells and whistles Haru could probably name.  Haseda was down there, supposedly.  The official videographers were getting into position near the start blocks.

A buzzing sound caught Rin’s attention.  Haru slipped his hand free, taking out his phone.  Rin arched a brow as Haru took out his earbuds as well, pushing one into his right ear as he answered the call.

“Hey.”  Haru’s brow knit.  “It’s loud there.”  There was a pause, Haru lowering the volume on his phone as he listened briefly.  “Yeah, he’s right here with me.”  Haru offered up the second earbud. 

“We’re doing this, huh?” Rin murmured, scooting close so the wire would reach.  He could hear the cacophony on the other side even before he pressed the earbud into place.  “That’s as low as it’ll go?”

Haru nodded.

“ _Rin!_ ”  It was easy to imagine the warmth and excitement on Makoto’s face.

“Hey, Makoto.”

_“Everyone—I’ve got them both on speaker.  Say ‘hi!’”_

Rin had to pull the earbud out at the jarring overlap of voices that followed—shouts of _“Captain Matsuoka!!”_ drowning out most of the other greetings.

“Oi…”

Makoto chuckled.  _“Sorry.  They’re all pretty excited.”_

_“Onii-chan!  Haruka-nii-san!”_

Rin smiled.  “Hey, Gou.”

_“Rin-honey, it’s so good to hear your voice!”_

“Hi, Mom.”

 _“Haruka, how’s your wrist, honey?”_ Rin’s mom asked.

“It’s good,” Haru said.  “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”

_“Oh, thank God.”_

_“Rin-chan!  Haru-chan!”_

Several overlapping voices spoke at once.  _“Nagisa-kun, shhh!”  “It’s starting!”_

Rin glanced up to the screen which bore the start list for the first race—the men’s 400IM. 

_3 – JPN – Seijuurou MIKOSHIBA_

_5 – JPN – Takuya KODA_

“ _Sei-chan!!_ ”

The announcer came on in English: “ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the championship final of the men’s four-hundred-meter individual medley_.”  A second announcer repeated the introduction in Portuguese.

Then the swimmers were called by lane _.  “Lane eight, representing Spain—”  “Lane one, representing Australia—”_   Each athlete walked out from the entryway behind the start blocks as fans cheered.

_“Lane seven, representing Australia…Ty Bingham.”_

Ty walked out in his green and gold warmups with his bright yellow swim cap.  He waved briefly.  The Australian team, sitting in the stands behind the start blocks cheered loudly.

_“Lane two, representing Great Britain…”  “Lane six, representing the United States of America…”_

The entire Japanese team—and their friends back home—seemed to draw a collective breath—

_“Lane three, representing Japan…Seijuurou Mikoshiba.”_

“Mikoshiba-kun!”  “Nii-chan!!”  _“Captain Mikoshiba!!”_

Mikoshiba walked out in his _sakura_ warmups and black pants with a giant grin.  He turned to the Japanese team and waved.

“Nii-chan!!”  Momo was on his feet, leaning so far _over_ the railing that Kawamura had to get an arm around the kid’s waist to keep him from falling.

Mikoshiba then gave the camera in front of him a big smile, which had the women at home squealing in Rin’s ear.

_“Sei-nii!!”  “Seijuurou!!”_

_I’m gonna be deaf before this race is over._

Mikoshiba finally went to adjust his block and start stripping.

_“Lane five, representing Japan…Takuya Koda.”_

“Koda-senpai!”  “Takuya!!”

Koda looked like a veteran as he strode out with a wave and headed for his lane.

_“Lane four, representing the United States of America…”_

The final swimmer walked out in black warmups, taking the block straight ahead.

All eight competitors stripped down to their suits and readied their caps and goggles—

Rin started to feel it as the men stepped up to the blocks…  There was constant noise from the audience, punctuated by the occasional shout. 

The whistle sounded in rapid bursts; the men prepared to climb up—

Rin’s heart began to pound. 

At the long whistle, the swimmers took the blocks and bent into position.  The turn inspectors stood up and approached.  The cheering got louder initially, before everyone remembered they were supposed to shut up for this part—

“ _Take your marks_.”

Rin held his breath—

In the relative quiet, the buzzer sounded and the swimmers dove.  Raucous cheering started up immediately, including the Iwatobi-Samezuka crowd screaming in Rin’s ear.  In the pool, the eight swimmers surfaced at fifteen meters and began the butterfly leg.  Ty, Koda, and Mikoshiba were out in front for the first length of the pool, but it was Koda who touched first at the open turn.  The three led the pack for the second fifty as well, heading into the wall and turning over to backstroke.

“Mikoshiba-kun!!  Koda-kun!!”  Otani was waving her flag as Mikoshiba edged into the lead during the first length of the backstroke leg.  Ty was still in third place, but the American in lane four started to gain on him during the second backstroke fifty.

Heading into the half, though, it was still Mikoshiba and Koda out in front—

_“At the two-hundred split, Seijuurou Mikoshiba is ahead of Takuya Koda, the two swimmers from Japan in the lead—”_

Rin couldn’t hear the rest of what the announcer said over the cheering in the Team Japan section and on the phone. 

Over the first length of breaststroke, the American nibbled away at the Japanese lead and Koda—whose stroke was slightly stronger, slipped into first place.  By the time they were headed back down to the start, all three were in a dead heat going to the wall.

Koda barely touched first as they went into freestyle.  The American was a tenth of a second behind him and Mikoshiba was another two tenths back—

And the Japanese team was on their feet, yelling as the men started their sprints for the final hundred meters.  Haru clutched his phone; Rin was gripping the sleeve of Haru’s polo shirt without meaning to—

Halfway down the pool, the American surged past Koda to take the lead.  Mikoshiba and Koda gave chase, flipping into the turn at almost the same time.  The three raced for the finish with the rest of the pack two body-lengths behind.  The American kept the lead all the way to the wall.  He hit first for gold.  Mikoshiba and Koda were right behind him, two black swim caps amidst churning froth as they reached for the wall—  By a sliver, Mikoshiba out-touched Koda. 

 _Holy…_   Rin blinked in disbelief.  Two medals—Japan just won two medals in the very first final.  He couldn’t hear a thing out of his left ear there was so much yelling and screaming going on back home.  Around him, teammates were jumping with their flags held high.

In the pool, Mikoshiba raked off his cap and goggles, pounding the water with a fist, a huge grin on his face.  He shook hands with the American victor and then Koda was in his lane, messing with Mikoshiba’s hair and laughing.

The announcer was on again, though Rin could barely hear.  _“…from the United States of America, winning the men’s four-hundred-meter IM, four-oh-six-eighty-eight.  Second, Seijuurou Mikoshiba from Japan, at four-oh-seven-twenty-five.  And third place, bronze medalist, goes to Japan’s Takuya Koda at four-oh-seven-thirty-one.”_

Rin couldn’t help noticing how happy Koda was, even though a younger, first-time Olympian just beat him.  The two men climbed from the pool, Koda throwing an arm around Mikoshiba’s shoulders and pointing him out to the crowd.  Mikoshiba was blushing a little, still catching his breath as he waved.

“Nii-chan!!”  Momo was hopping from one foot to the other under Kawamura’s watchful gaze.

Mikoshiba looked their way, giving his brother a broad grin and a thumbs-up. 

Koda leaned in and said something to Mikoshiba.

“Wait for it,” Haru murmured.

Mikoshiba’s face went bright red.  He faced the videographer that happened to be nearby, saying something into the camera. 

Rin didn’t need to read lips to guess what he said, especially with the catcalls and squeals that sounded through the phone.

_“Gou!  Did that boy just say he loves you?”_

_“Mom!”_

_“Gou-chan!  Welcome to the family!”_   Rin was fairly confident the boisterous, unfamiliar voice belonged to Mikoshiba’s father.

 _“Uhhhh…”_   Gou laughed uneasily.  _“…Thank you?”_

Rin sighed.  Poolside, the two Japanese swimmers were still celebrating.  “You’d think they went one-two, not silver and bronze.”

“Two-three’s still on the podium, Rin,” Haru said.

He smiled.

Down below, officials corralled Mikoshiba and Koda to the right of the entrance where Rio staff members had their IDs and checked their faces.  Then, they disappeared into an adjacent corridor.  Ty, who had taken sixth, headed off with his teammate who’d come in seventh.  After all eight competitors had cleared the pool, the event staff quickly reset things for the next race.

Rin finally extracted his fingers from Haru’s shirt sleeve.  He smoothed the rumpled fabric against Haru’s arm, his face heating slightly.  Haru’s eyes warmed with pleasure.  The team finally took their seats again.

At home, the celebration was still going strong.

“Makoto?” Haru asked.

_“Yeah, Haru?”_

“It’s still loud.  Can you…?”

 _“Oh, sure.”_   The background noise lessened dramatically as Makoto took them off speaker.  _“How’s that?”_

“Better.”  Haru relaxed beside Rin.  “Thanks.”

Rin relinquished the second earbud, returning it to Haru.

Haru gave him an appreciative look in return.  “It’s just me now.  …He’s here, but he’s deaf at this point.”  Haru’s teasing smile made Rin melt inside.

 _“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the women’s one-hundred-meter butterfly, semi-final number one.”_   The start list flashed up on the screen.  Ozawa was in lane six.

Two Brazilian swimmers had lanes eight and one, filling the arena with loud cheering from the home crowd.

“Lane six, representing Japan…Yumiko Ozawa.”

“Ozawa-senpai!!”

Ozawa walked out in her red _sakura_ jacket and black pants, waving at the team before heading to her block.

The Americans had lanes four and five.

At the rapid whistle, the women climbed up—

The cheering barely lessened.

 _“Stand down.”_   The starter had the women step down from the blocks while the announcer came back on.

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start, please_.”  The request was repeated in Portuguese.

 _Then_ , the arena quieted.  The whistle sounded again, followed by a burst of cheering as the women took the blocks.  The noise died out quickly.

“ _Take your marks_.”

The start sounded and the women dove—

The swimmers moved in an arc across the pool, Ozawa alternating between fourth and fifth place behind the Americans in the center lanes.  She hit the turn fifth as the pack came up to their sprints for the finish.  Halfway through the back fifty, Ozawa started passing everyone.  The American swimmer in lane four had the lead until the final fifteen meters when Ozawa caught up and surged for the wall.  She hit first, winning the heat; the American took second place and the swimmer from Denmark in lane three took third.

Team Japan shouted, waving their flags.  In the pool, Ozawa grasped the start holds, pumping a fist skyward and waving back. 

Shortly after that, the women cleared the pool and the swimmers for the second heat came out one at a time, by name. 

“ _Semi-final number two._ ”

Australia and Sweden dominated the second heat, with the Swedish swimmer—and world record holder—taking it in the end, her time over a full second faster than Ozawa’s in the previous heat.  Overall, Ozawa had qualified for the final in third place.  Japan’s second swimmer—in lane eight of the second heat—took eleventh place in the lineup. 

“She beat her own record again,” Haru was saying.  “Yeah.  She’s been doing that since the Japan Open back in May.”  He paused.  Pink gathered in his cheeks.  “…Ah.  It was the only way I could handle it.  Being apart.”

Rin glanced aside, meeting his lover’s gaze.  As Haru’s blush darkened, Rin could guess whose records were the new topic of conversation.  He nudged Haru’s hand; Haru laced their fingers together tightly, smiling with his eyes.  Warmth spread through Rin’s chest.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the championship final of the men’s four hundred freestyle.”_

Japan didn’t have any competitors in the final, but Ty was in lane three.  The Australian team, one section over from Rin and the rest of the Japanese team, cheered loudly as he walked out in green and gold for his second final of the night.  The top seed American was in lane four, Italy had lane five, and the London gold medalist from China was in lane six.

It was a fast eight laps with all of the real action saved for the final hundred meters when the swimmers sprinted down and back for the finish.  Ty, who had conserved for the first six lengths, surged into second place behind the London medalist and ahead of the top seed American in the lane next to him.  Rin gripped Haru’s hand during the last thirty-five meters as the Italian swimmer—and European champion—closed the gap, slipping past the American in lane four and gaining on Ty.  But Ty managed to fend him off, touching for silver behind the Chinese victor while the Italian swimmer took bronze.

Even from a distance, Rin could hear Ty’s family shouting from the stands as he clung to the side of the pool in his lane, breathing hard.  Rin was thrilled for his friend and a little jealous.  _It’s our turn tomorrow._  

The four hundred free was followed by the medal ceremony for the men’s 400IM.  The podium was at the turn side of the pool with the Olympic rings on the wall in the background.  The announcers came on in French, English, and Portuguese as the officials walked out, followed by Koda, the American gold medalist, and Mikoshiba.  The Japanese team cheered, Rin watching on the screen along with his teammates as the medalists stopped behind the broad podium. 

Rin heard Koda’s name in French first before the announcement was repeated in English.  _“The bronze medalist, representing Japan, Takuya Koda.”_

Koda stepped up, waving and dipping his head in a bow.  He was presented with the bronze medal on a colorful Rio lanyard and the Rio 2016 emblem.  Rin and the rest of the team were on their feet, waving their flags.

_“The silver medalist, representing Japan, Seijuurou Mikoshiba.”_

“Nii-chan!!”  Momo was hanging over the rail again, Rin and Kawamura holding the kid back.

Mikoshiba took the podium with a broad grin, receiving his silver medal and the Rio emblem. 

The American received the loudest cheering when he went up for gold.  The arena quieted when the announcers introduced the United States’ anthem, the camera switching between the gold medalist and the flags—the stars and stripes in the center, flanked on both sides by the rising sun—as they were hoisted into the air behind the start blocks.

Rin glanced aside at his lover.  The bar was set now. 

Haru met his gaze and Rin could tell he was thinking the same thing.

Pictures and cheering followed, the three athletes gathering on the podium’s top step, holding their medals for the Olympic photographers.  After, they were ushered to the first section of media photographers on the turn side of the pool.  It was a slow procession from there to the start blocks.  When Mikoshiba and Koda finally made it over to the Japanese team, they grinned and waved.

“Momotarou-kun, are you crying?” Otani asked.

Momo was sniffling as he dual-wielded his flags.  “No…”

Rin and Haru shared a smile, their fingers still laced together.

“Makoto says the whole family’s sobbing back home,” Haru said.  “Plus Nagisa, Rei, and your sister.”

Rin nodded, not surprised in the least.

There was another slow pass in front of the second group of photographers, then the medalists were led from the pool deck.

The women’s 400IM final was next.  Takara, seventh seed overall after the heats, had lane one, waving as she came out.  She looked calm and ready as she took off her warmups, waiting beside the block in her black and _sakura_ kneeskins.  It was a tough lineup with the Hungarian swimmer in lane four, the Americans in lanes three and seven and Spain in lane five—all swimmers who had undercut Takara in the heats by at least a second.

The eight finalists slipped into the water at the start, the Hungarian swimmer shooting into the lead immediately.  Takara’s butterfly was strong in lane one, she kept a solid hold on second place throughout that leg, but fell to third place during the backstroke. 

“Taka-chan!!”  Ozawa had joined them in the stands, all of them cheering as Takara battled it out with the main pack while the Hungarian swimmer continued to increase the gap, tracking ahead of world record pace.

Other swimmers surged by as Takara went to breaststroke.  She was in sixth place at three hundred meters, but fought her way back to fifth place at the wall, finishing sub-4:34 with a new personal best and a Japanese record, but no medal.  The Hungarian swimmer had a new world record, silver went to the USA, and bronze to Spain.

Rin felt the punch of disappointment on Takara’s face as she bobbed in the water, stripping off her cap and goggles.  But from fourth seed in Japan to fifth in the _world_ was no small achievement, and Takara seemed to come to the same realization as she climbed from the pool, waving to them in the stands with a smile on her face despite the tears that gleamed in her eyes.

After the women left the pool, the medal ceremony was held for the men’s 400m freestyle, where Ty got his silver.  Then, it was time for the semi-finals of the men’s 100m breaststroke.  Captain Ikehara had lane four in the first heat, with an American on his left and Tristan Kelly from Australia on his right.  Ikehara led the pack from start to finish, hitting just over 59-seconds, slightly above his time from the afternoon heats.  At the end of the semi-finals, he had qualified for the final as the third seed.

The breaststroke semi-finals were followed immediately by the women’s four-by-one hundred free relay final.  Team Japan was on their feet to welcome Sada, Akamine, Aoyama, and Furuta as they entered the arena and took lane one.  Half of the relay teams had swapped out members since the earlier heats; Japan had not.  The top seed Australians were in lane four with USA in lane five, Canada in lane three, and Italy in lane six.  Akamine was leading off again for Team Japan.

With the whistle and the buzzer, the swimmers dove into the water.  Akamine had a strong first half, hitting the turn in third place, but slipping to fourth by the time she hit the wall.  Aoyama’s exchange was good—not scary like in the heats—and her hundred was her best time yet, but Team USA had almost a three second lead when the swimmers hit the halfway point, with Australia, Canada, and Sweden right behind them.  Furuta hit the water, Japan falling to seventh at 250 meters, but clawing back to sixth at the wall, while the Australians and Americans battled for first place in lanes four and five.

Sada dove almost four seconds behind the Australian anchor.  She swam the fastest split Rin had ever seen from her, churning up the water as she sprinted for the wall.  The Australians had a world record and the gold medal by the time she finished, USA winning silver, and Canada taking bronze.  Japan finished fifth. 

Sada paused for a minute with her forehead against the lane line before she climbed out.  Rin felt for her and the other three women as they slapped hands, bowed to each other, and gathered their things. 

“Sada-nee!”  Momo leaned over the rail, waving at his honorary sister.

Sada’s face warmed minutely.  She waved back before disappearing into the corridor with the others.

Down below, the Australians were still celebrating and hugging behind the blocks.

Next to Rin, Haru touched his earbud.  “Oh, OK.”  His face smoothed.  “…I’ll text you tomorrow.  …Ah.”  He took his phone out of his pocket, Rin watching as he ended the call.  Haru’s screen switched back to his new wallpaper—a selfie they’d taken together at the Opening Ceremonies with the fireworks in the background.  He pulled the earbuds from his ears and put everything away, exhaling softly.

No one else would probably notice, but Rin saw it all.  The guilt was familiar, the same feeling he got when they said goodbye to everyone in Tokyo at the end of May.  Even though Haru had chosen this, Rin still felt responsible for taking him away from his friends and from Makoto—who was basically family to Haru.  Rin was used to this semi-lonely world devoted to training and discipline; Haru wasn’t.  He was glad—grateful—that Haru was here with him, especially now that he knew he couldn’t face this on his own.  But times and medals alone would never be able to balance out the sacrifice.  _Am I enough?_   Haru would likely say so if he asked…but Rin still wondered as he imagined months piling up into years, into decades.

“Alright.”  Coach Maekawa got up from her seat behind them.  “Everyone swimming tomorrow afternoon, head out now.”

There were still two medal ceremonies to go, but Japan wasn’t in either.  Rin and Haru got up.

“Awww.”  Momo pouted against the rail.

“It’s almost midnight, so no whining.  Besides, don’t you want to see your brother, Momotarou-kun?”

The kid perked up.  “Nii-chan!”  He hopped into the aisle and bounced up the stairs.

Maekawa sighed, smiling fondly.  “See you all in the morning.  No later than noon if you’re swimming.  One pm for everyone else.”

There was a chorus of ‘hai’s and most of the team filed out.  Rin followed Haru up the steps and into the corridor beyond. 

Downstairs, near the Athletes’ Lounge, they found Mikoshiba, Koda, and Takara.  The team immediately flocked to the medalists, but Rin hung back.  Takara—in her red _sakura_ warmup jacket and black pants—was with her parents.  Rin felt the jab in his stomach as they hugged and chatted, visions coming to him of his dad embracing him after an Olympic race—things that couldn’t ever happen.  He missed his mom and Gou, too. 

Takara eventually waved goodbye to her parents, grabbing her gear bag.  She accepted hugs from Ozawa and Konishi, looking tired.  When they stepped back, Haru went over to her as Rin watched.

“Takara—”

Her face hardened, her eyes suddenly glistening.  “Not another word, Haruka.  I can’t—”

Haru nodded, staying where he was, respecting her wishes.

Takara’s eyes filled with tears.  She threw her arms around Haru’s shoulders, crying into his polo shirt.  Haru touched her back lightly with one hand.

For once, Rin wasn’t jealous.  He could imagine everything Takara was feeling and he knew firsthand how well Haru’s steady, calming presence could soothe those overwhelming emotions.

It wasn’t long before Takara pulled away, wiping her face quickly and composing herself.  She must’ve been wearing waterproof mascara again because her makeup hadn’t smudged and there wasn’t any of it on Haru’s shirt either.  She drew a deep breath and dipped her head.

Haru smiled faintly.

Takara flicked her loose black hair over her shoulder, turning and fastening her gaze onto Rin.  “Thanks for letting me borrow your boyfriend.”

Rin inhaled.  “Ah.”  _Don’t make it a habit, though._

Her green eyes—slightly red—smirked at him as she moved away.  “‘Night, you guys.”

“‘Night,” Rin said.  Haru waved.

Rin glanced over at the mob surrounding the medalists—Momo had gotten into the center of it and Mikoshiba was grinding his knuckles into the kid’s hair.  Both were laughing.  Rin didn’t really feel like wading into that, though he ought to congratulate Mikoshiba and Koda at some point.

“Rin.”  Haru took his hand.  “Do you think it’s OK if we head back?”

Rin met Haru’s gaze.  In the fatigue in blue eyes, he knew instantly that all of the noise and crowds had finally taken its toll.  “Yeah,” he said, squeezing Haru’s hand.  “Let’s go.”

-x-

They ate dinner in the dining hall and returned to their apartment.  Rin hadn’t even gotten the door to their room closed before Haru was undressing him and their lips were pressed flush.  He managed to get the lock by feel, their clothes littering the floor on the way to the shower.

They kissed under cool spray in their square legs and bracelets.  Rin’s groan was muffled against Haru’s lips and tongue as his back hit the wall, Haru’s hands curled firmly around his biceps.  Rin wrapped his arms around Haru’s torso, his fingers scraping down Haru’s back as pleasant shivers raced through him, his skin still ultra-sensitive from shaving down earlier. 

He was breathless when Haru broke the kiss.  They held each other’s gazes for a moment, but soon the desire in Haru’s eyes faded beneath heavier emotions.  Haru laid his forehead on Rin’s shoulder and sighed, his breath warm against Rin’s skin in the cold shower stall.  His hands fell to his sides.

Rin tightened his arms around his lover, pulling Haru in gently.  “Na, Haru.” 

“Hm?”

He lifted a hand to Haru’s hair, sifting slowly through the wet strands.  “Being away from everyone…this part isn’t forever.”

“I know,” Haru murmured.

Rin kissed the cool, damp skin below Haru’s left ear.  “Promise you’ll tell me if it’s ever too much.  So we can figure something out.”

Haru’s breath hitched.  “Like plane tickets.”

“Yeah.”  He dropped a kiss on Haru’s shoulder next.  “Something better than Skype.”

“ _Rin_ —” 

Hands cradled Rin’s face, Haru’s lips covering his.  The sudden kiss stole his breath and sent a flutter through his chest.  He hadn’t yet recovered when Haru drew back—

Haru smiled, his eyes brilliant blue and gleaming.  “It’s not too much.  I miss home, but I’m really happy, being here with you.”

“… _Haru_ —”  The air rushed from Rin’s lungs, his voice coming out in a whisper barely audible over the sound of the shower.  His insides were mush, the tears rising hot and stinging.  Rin hugged his lover fiercely, burying his face in wet hair as he drew an unsteady breath.  “ _I love you._ ”

Haru hugged him back—the embrace so tight it was hard to breathe.  “I love _you._ ”

Rin didn’t care about breathing, not then or when their mouths crashed together.  Kissing Haru was far more important.

* * *

Sunday, August 7th, 2016

* * *

Rin stirred at the usual 9am scuffle as Mikoshiba wrestled his brother back into the other room.  He was terribly comfortable and even though today was _the day_ —their first Olympic races—the only thing on his mind was how nice it was to have Haru pressed against his side, his body trapped by Haru’s left arm and leg.  It was the best way to wake up on competition day.

Rin fumbled for his phone on the nightstand to verify the time.  Instead of their Opening Ceremony selfie, he was greeted with a message icon.  _Gou…?_

Rin entered his passcode, navigating to his inbox. 

“Nn.”  Haru grunted, shifting slightly.  “What’re you doing?”

“I dunno why Gou’s sending me video messages in the middle of the night.”

“It’s not the middle of the night at home.”  Haru yawned.

“True.”  Rin’s thumb hovered over the message.  “It’s addressed to both of us.”

“I’m awake.  Play it already.”

Rin tapped on the message, the screen lighting with his sister’s face.

 _“Hi Onii-chan!  Haruka-nii-san!  I hope this doesn’t wake you up.”_   She was smiling, her hair pulled into a ponytail with her bangs falling across her forehead.

There was a lot of movement in the background.  Rin squinted at the phone.  It didn’t look like Iwatobi.  Was she back in Osaka already?

_“Um, so…  I wanted to let you know we’ll miss watching your heats today and probably your finals too…”_

_We?_

The camera bounced around, Gou frowning.  _“My arms aren’t long enough.”_

A mellow voice answered.  _“Here, let me give it a shot.”_

_Sousuke?_

Rin blinked, suddenly staring at Gou, his mom, Sousuke, Makoto, and Mikoshiba’s sister Mikan—all of them dressed in _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirts and carrying backpacks or shoulder bags.

In the center, Gou flung her arms into the air.  _“Because we’ll be on a plane!  We’re coming to Rio!”_

 _Huh??!?!_   Rin dropped the phone.  It fell to the comforter and slid towards the floor.  He scrambled up, making a grab for the device as the video continued to play.

_“We should get there Monday morning—Brazil time—and we’re staying until Thursday!”_

Rin found the phone and righted it, gripping it with both hands and not breathing.  Haru was looking over his shoulder, fingertips digging into Rin’s arms.  Rin could see the signage in the background now—the group was at Narita airport in Tokyo.

_“Attention in the terminal.  We will now begin boarding Japan Airlines flight four, nonstop service to New York.  All ticketed passengers please proceed to gate sixty-one—”_

_“Oh, that’s us!”_   Rin’s mom had sunglasses perched on her forehead.  _“Gou-honey, we’d better—”_

 _“OK, we’ll see you guys soon!”_ Gou waved.

 _“See you in Rio,”_ Makoto said, smiling at the camera.

“Makoto…” Haru whispered, his voice wavering.

_“Sousuke, can you…?”_

_“Sure Gou, I got it.”_   Sousuke’s smiling face was the last thing Rin saw before the screen reverted to his inbox.

He drew a slow breath, his heart thudding in his chest.  _Gou…Mom…Sousuke…_   His vision blurred with hot tears.   _How…?_

Haru’s inhale was unsteady.  Arms wrapped tight around Rin’s waist and warm droplets fell against his shoulder.

Rin twisted in Haru’s arms, a blink sending the tears cascading down his cheeks.  He lifted a shaky hand to his lover’s face, smearing one of Haru’s tear trails with his thumb.  They broke into smiles at the same time, laughing in disbelief and crying on each other as they sank down to the bed.  Rin gripped Haru’s hand; his heart hadn’t felt this whole in a long, long time.


	31. 200 meter Olympic free, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made minor updates to previous chapters to correct Rin’s mom’s name [Timeless Medley] and Haru’s dad’s work location [Novelization] to canon.  (Thanks mezzo_marinaio and Sarai!) 
> 
> There’s a brief mention in this chapter of the 2009/2010 swimsuit ruling; I’m still ignoring the leg skin portion of the ban.

* * *

Sunday, August 7th, 2016 (continued)

* * *

_[Haru, sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier.  I wanted to, but Gou insisted on keeping it a surprise.  I hope it wasn’t too traumatic for you.  Everything happened so fast.  I can’t believe I’m sitting here, about to takeoff on my first overseas flight!  Thirteen hours to New York, then ten hours to Rio.  I’ve never been on a flight this long before, while it’s normal for you now.  Good luck with your races!  Your first Olympic relay. I have to admit I’m jealous, but I can’t wait to watch you swim again.  See you Monday, Haru.  -Makoto]_

-x-

More than once, Haru’s eyes darted to his phone, even though—with Makoto’s flight in the air—there wouldn’t be another message any time soon.  He ran his razor under the faucet, rinsing away a dollop of shaving cream before he set the blade to the left side of his face and forced himself to concentrate.  There’d been a warm stirring in his chest ever since he got up.  It still didn’t seem real.  After more than two months without his best friend, suddenly—as soon as tomorrow—Makoto would be _here_ …

 _You were willing to come with me before, when I was upset about traveling._   Haru hadn’t thought to ask about Rio.  _I never wanted you to trouble yourself._   But he was glad.  More than glad, he was _happy._  

The razor made a pleasant scraping sound against his skin in the quiet bathroom.  Through the open doorway, grunts of exertion drifted in from the bedroom.  Rin had been wrestling with his leg skins for a while now.  Haru understood the draw of the full-leg tech suit, but— _way too much effort_.  Jammers were a nice compromise between low times and being able to feel the water as much as possible.  Makoto and Rei preferred leg skins as well, but neither of them sized their suits as small as Rin did. 

Haru lifted his chin, angling the razor carefully as he shaved beneath his jaw.  _I’m not sure how you have any circulation in that thing._   Rin had been at it for at least ten minutes—

“Shit.”  The curse was muffled, followed by a growl.

Haru lifted a brow as he finished the last stroke.  It usually didn’t devolve into profanity.  He splashed cool water on his face, washing all remnants of the shaving cream from his skin—

“ _Fuck!_  Haru, have I gained weight?”

Haru dried off and left the bathroom.

He got two steps into the room before he stopped, the air trailing past his lips.  Rin had his back turned.  His _sakura_ leg skins were only at midthigh and he was naked otherwise, puffing from the effort and red from the neck up.  Haru eyed his lover, shamelessly enjoying Rin’s predicament.

“I fucking _hate_ taper.”  Rin thrust a hand through his hair, tugging on the ends before he let go and started to grapple with the suit some more.  He managed to work the leg skins another centimeter or two up his thighs before he groaned in frustration and shoved his face into his hands. 

Haru—still in his underwear—headed over.  “Want help?” he asked, placing his hand on the muscular curve of Rin’s backside.

Rin shot him a lethal glare.

“You haven’t gained any weight, Rin,” Haru murmured, kissing Rin’s shoulder.

“Hmph.”  Rin exhaled, his expression softening to a scowl.  “How would you know?”

“I’m observant.”  He gave his lover a firm pat before sinking to his knees on the wood flooring.  Haru checked the seams on the outsides of Rin’s legs and set to work easing more of the fabric over Rin’s knees, one leg at a time.

“Haru…”  Rin was back to covering his face with both hands, his voice muffled and frustrated.

“Calm down.  Stop fretting so much.”

“I’m _not_ fucking fretting.”

Haru arched a brow but said nothing.  Once he was satisfied with the amount of suit material on the upper halves of Rin’s legs, he stood up again.  Haru slowly shimmied the fabric up Rin’s thighs, taking his time, appreciating the view…

At length, Rin sighed.  “I am, aren’t I?”

“Mm.”  He kissed the nape of Rin’s neck and felt his lover relax the slightest bit.  “The front should be good now.”

“Ah.”  Rin reached down and got everything situated.

Haru slipped his thumbs beneath the waistband gripper of the suit and paused.  “Ready?”

“Yeah.”  Rin got the sides; Haru had the back—

It still took minutes, a couple of tries, and a lot of tugging, but _finally_ the suit was over Rin’s hips.

While Rin moved around, adjusting fabric here and there, Haru admired the way Rin looked with the ribbons of _sakura_ and vines of gold running down each leg of the black suit.  A thrill woke inside him.  _We get to swim together today._   They were in the same heat for the 200 meter free, to be followed by the four-by-one hundred free relay…

Rin exhaled with relief, tightening the cord tie at his waist and bending to flip the leg grippers into place above his ankles.  As he straightened, Haru caught a flicker in ruby eyes that stole his breath—

Arms crashed around Haru’s shoulders, Rin’s face buried in his hair.

“Haru, thanks.”

Haru settled his arms around Rin’s waist.  “Ah.”  He kissed his lover’s cheek.  “It’s only because you haven’t worn them in a while.”

“Mn…”

Haru flattened his palms against Rin’s back, running his hands across warm skin to either side of Rin’s spine.  “You don’t like it when people travel.”  _You worried like this when I left Japan for Norway and when I came to meet you in Spain…_

Rin’s breath stirred Haru’s hair.  “It’s weird.  It never bothers me, but when it’s people I care about and I’m not there…”

Haru varied the pressure of his fingertips along Rin’s back, lingering wherever he found a knot.  There was no point reminding Rin that being anxious wouldn’t accomplish a thing—except stressing himself out.  Instead, Haru closed his eyes, inhaling Rin’s scent as he held his lover close and worked with slow, deliberate motions.

Tension ebbed from Rin’s limbs bit-by-bit.  “This whole time, I’ve been so focused on my dream, on my dad’s dream, on what I lost when he died…  I never stopped to think about my mom and Gou…what it would be like for them; how they’d feel…”

Haru lifted a hand to Rin’s hair, letting the silky strands run over his knuckles. 

Rin sighed roughly.  “My mom even said—during the Olympic trials—that it was why she never got involved with my swimming after he died.  Because I reminded her, too much…”  Rin’s arms fell from Haru’s shoulders.  “I’m not saying I should’ve picked another dream—I don’t know if I could’ve—but I never _considered_ —”

“You are now,” Haru murmured, drawing away slightly to meet Rin’s gaze.  “It’s not too late, Rin.  And there’s no point beating yourself up for things you couldn’t face before.”

Rin’s brow knit, his eyes going glossy.  “Haru…”

Rin’s hands scraped at his waist and Haru leaned in, meeting a kiss as firm as the arms that circled his torso.  He yielded to the warm melding of lips, treasuring every bit of progress and healing.  _You’ll get there, Rin.  I know you will._

They broke apart for air, eventually.

“Love you,” Rin whispered.

Haru smiled.  “I love you.”

Rin’s face brightened.  His hands fell to Haru’s hips, thumbs tracing the elastic band of Haru’s boxer briefs.

A shiver of pleasure ran through Haru’s body.

“Is it my turn to help you?” Rin asked, his eyes glittering.

“Mm.  As long as it’s the back half.”  Any more than that, Haru doubted he’d be able to get the suit _on_.

“Deal,” Rin said, kissing him again and dragging navy blue fabric down Haru’s thighs.

Haru’s jammers didn’t take nearly as long, though there was still an amount of tugging, grunting, and effort involved. 

Haru was just finishing up with the cord tie when he heard a bump from the other side of the door.  He exchanged a glance with Rin, who apparently heard it too.

Rin went to open the door—

Momo was sitting cross-legged on the floor in the hallway.  He was wearing his _sakura_ warmups with his hands braced on his ankles.  “Rin-senpai, Nanase-senpai…”  Momo peered at them suspiciously.  “I heard _noises_.”

The back of Rin’s neck flushed red.  “Get your mind out of the gutter, Momo!  We’re just putting on our suits.”  Rin grabbed one of Momo’s arms, dragging the kid down the hallway. 

“Ohhhhh.”

“Where’s your brother?”

Haru pulled on his _sakura_ warmups and followed Rin and Momo out into the main room.  Mikoshiba was standing near the balcony door, staring at his phone.  He wore a Team Japan polo shirt and shorts.

“Mikoshiba—” 

“Mikoshiba, congratulations,” Haru said.

Rin exhaled as he let go of Momo.  “Yeah, congrats.”

“Thanks,” Mikoshiba said, not looking up from his phone.  He was frowning slightly.

“He’s been like this for an _hour_ ,” Momo whispered loudly.

“ _Tch_.”  Rin folded his arms across his chest.  “Got the message, huh?”

Mikoshiba finally glanced up with a bewildered expression.  “She must’ve known for a while, but she never said a word.”

“Couldn’t have been that long.  Gou can keep a secret, but we’re not talking months,” Rin said.

Mikoshiba ran a hand through his spiky, red-orange hair.  “Who just decides, at the last minute—”

“It runs in the family,” Haru said.

Rin shot him a look that was half-puzzled, half-glare.

Haru cocked a brow.  “Sydney, Rin?”  _You showed up at my door with plane tickets._

“Nn—”  Rin blushed with embarrassment.

“What about Gou-san?” Momo asked.  He stuffed his hands into his pockets, hopping from one foot to the other.

“She’ll be here tomorrow,” Rin said, sighing.  “With my mom, Makoto, and Sousuke.”

Momo stopped bouncing.  “Makoto-senpai?  Yamazaki-senpai?”  He blinked and grinned huge.  “Yippee!!”  The kid flopped down on the beanbag chair, rolling around.

“You’re not happy about it, Mikoshiba?” Haru asked.

Mikoshiba’s cheeks went pink.  “Ah, no, I _am_.  It’s just…”  He glanced down at the phone in his hand again.  “I wasn’t expecting…so soon…”  The guy trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.  “I mean, we have a pretty good thing going as pen pals.  But I just worry it’ll be, like…awkward.  Because we haven’t even—”

“Because you haven’t even what?” Rin asked, his voice flat and gaze flatter.

Mikoshiba’s blush deepened.  “Uh…  I mean, we haven’t talked about being more than friends, even though we’re on the phone twice a day, usually.  I was planning on asking her out—you know, officially—after we got back.  This is kind of sudden.  I’m not sure I, uh…”

“Didn’t you say you loved her yesterday, after your race?” Haru asked.

“Well, yeah…  I say that pretty often.  I don’t think she takes it seriously.”

A slow, satisfied smile spread across Rin’s face.

Haru exhaled.  _Don’t be so thrilled, Rin._   He elbowed his lover lightly in the ribs.

Rin gathered himself quickly, coughing behind his hand.  “Well, I think the two of you should take your time.  There’s no need to rush.”

Haru mentally shook his head.  “Rin, we need to get ready.”  He turned to go back to their room.

Haru had just gotten inside the door when Rin tackled him from behind, arms draped over his shoulders.

“This long-distance thing is gonna work,” Rin said, grinning.

“Don’t be a dick about it.”  Haru shrugged him off. 

“I’m just saying…”  Rin grabbed his warmups from atop his suitcase, tugging on the black pants.  “If they want to take things slow and, you know, _wait_ …that’s fine with me.”

Haru opened his gear bag, checking a few things.  “You know you’re as protective with Gou as Mikoshiba is with Momo?”

“I am _not_.”  A balled-up T-shirt hit Haru in the side of the head.

Haru smiled, picking up the shirt and folding it before setting the garment aside.  _You’ll be a good dad someday, Rin.  Overprotective, maybe, but the kids will know it’s because you love them so much._

-x-

“No, you can’t bust curfew to go to the airport tomorrow,” Maekawa said, her arms folded over her red _sakura_ jacket.  “Believe me, I get it.  But still no.”  They were gathered in their team area by the warm up pool, the place crowded with swimmers for the afternoon heats.

Haru glanced at Rin askance.  _I told you she wasn’t going to let us._

“Haha!  Matsuoka, Nanase, don’t worry about a thing!”  Mikoshiba came over with a grin, apparently recovered from the earlier shock.  “Mikan’s got transportation all sorted out.  They’ll be here at the park before 1pm for sure.”

“Your sister’s not the one I’m worried about,” Rin muttered.  “Assuming she’s got a normal sense of direction.”

“If they all stay together, it should be fine,” Haru said.

Rin sighed.  “Yeah.”

Admittedly, Yamazaki’s sense of direction was awful, but…  _You’re finding things to fret about, Rin._   _It’s not helpful._

Maekawa tapped the watch on her wrist.  “We’re on a schedule, guys.  I shouldn’t have to tell you to get in the pool.”

 _Pool._   Haru perked up.

“ _Boa tarde_ , Nanase-kun!”  Kasai appeared next to him, blinding in fluorescent green team wear, her black hair pulled into a ponytail.  “ _Como vai?_ ”

Haru felt the way Rin closed up—the subtle but instant change in the air between them.  His heart fell.  _I’m adding to the list, not subtracting from it._   “Rin, I’ll just be a minute.”

“Ah.”  Rin’s face had shuttered.  He turned away, starting to take off his warmups.

Haru followed Kasai to the treatment table she had set up, taking a seat and shrugging out of his jacket.  He offered his left wrist.

“How’s your pain today?” she asked as she began her exam, her cool fingers moving across the joint.

“Still zero.”

“Good, good.”  Kasai nodded.  “I recommend icing it after the heats this afternoon, even if it feels fine.  Your injury isn’t severe enough for the Sports Medicine Committee to approve taping it, so that’s our only recourse.”

“Hai.”  Haru dipped his head.

She finished the exam.  “Everything feels good.  Do you want me to tape it for warm ups?  You’d have to take it off before Inspection.”

“No, thanks.”  _I need to warm up the same way I’ll race._

Kasai smiled.  “Alright, Nanase-kun.  You can go.  Let me know if it starts to bother you.  I’ll have ice ready between heats, in case you need it.”

“ _Obrigado_ , Kasai-san.”

She beamed.  “ _De nada!_ ”

Haru slipped off the treatment table.  He stripped down to his jammers, grabbing his goggles and swim cap from his gear bag. 

Rin was waiting for him behind the blocks on lane seven—cap on, goggles on his forehead.  Garnet eyes lasered in on his wrist and Rin’s expression clouded.

Haru pulled on his swim cap en route. 

“No tape?” Rin asked.

Haru shook his head.  “I can’t race with it, so…”  He pressed his lips, meeting Rin’s gaze.  “I don’t need it anyway.  It feels fine.”

Rin glanced away, rubbing his left arm above the elbow.  “You said that on Friday, too.  Before we practiced fifties.”

Haru didn’t answer.  More words wouldn’t convince Rin that he was fine.  Maybe racing together would.  But there was a hollow fear in his chest as he turned for the block, settling his goggles over his eyes.  _I don’t want to hold you back, Rin.  I want you to enjoy your dream…_

“Haru, wait.”

Haru paused with one foot on the block, looking over his shoulder as Rin came up behind him.  Warm fingers grasped his arm.  Rin’s brow was furrowed, his eyes closed, as he kissed Haru’s wrist.  After, he sighed, his expression easing as he held Haru’s hand cradled to his cheek.

Haru swallowed.  “Rin…”

Rin opened his eyes.  There was still fear in his gaze, but it was only one of a myriad of emotions.  _Love_ was foremost.  “I know you don’t want me to worry.  I’ll try.  I promise.”

Haru inhaled.  _Rin—_   He spun away from the block, wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist and squeezing tight.  Relief and love flooded him, welling up in his chest—

“ _Oi, you guys know there’s a line, right?_ ”  Behind Rin, Ty was grinning at them in black jammers slashed with green and gold, a bright yellow cap on his head.

They jerked apart, Haru’s face heating. 

Rin flushed red, clearing his throat roughly.  _“Congrats on your medal, Ty.”_

_“Hey, thanks!”_

Haru turned to climb onto the block.

_“I’m gonna start a PDA drinking game.  Drink once for hugging, twice for locking lips, three times for pashing—”_

_“You’re not drinking during competition,”_ Rin said.

Ty laughed.  _“After!”_

“ _Tch_.”  Rin sounded irritated but normal.

Haru smiled to himself as he set his feet and dove.

-x-

Six hundred meters passed too quickly.  Swimming without tape—his wrist loose and unrestrained—felt like luxury, second only to the water’s caress against his freshly-shaven skin.  In high school, he hadn’t shaved down because he didn’t _care_ about times and winning.  But if he’d known back then that it would feel this good, he would’ve gone out immediately to buy supplies. 

And if _this_ felt amazing, tumbling around naked with Rin, between the sheets or in the shower…  Haru popped up at the wall, stripping off his cap and goggles.  His muscles were warm, his thoughts warmer.  He’d gotten a taste of it during their nap yesterday; in some respects, Saturday couldn’t come soon enough.  _Though, I should try not to think about sex while swimming._

Haru shook the water from his hair and climbed out of the pool by the block.  He didn’t want to be too distracted.  But it was hard to rein in his thoughts when Rin got out after him, Haru watching as the water sluiced off Rin’s body.

Rin caught him looking; he cocked a brow with a sly quirk of lips as he _slowly_ raked off his cap and goggles…

_I know you’re doing that on purpose, Rin._

“See something you like, Haru?”  Rin’s voice was a low tease, for his ears alone.

“Yeah, I do,” Haru said.

Rin’s eyes softened, dropping to his wrist.  “How is it?”

“Good.”  Haru flexed his wrist for emphasis.  “It feels really good without the tape.”

Rin exhaled, the sound full of relief.

Haru’s gaze dropped to Rin’s leg skins.  “How’s your suit?”

Rin answered him with a scowl, his cheeks coloring.  “Tight.”

 _I’ll say_.  Haru continued his perusal.

“ _Nn_.”  A wet arm slung around his shoulders, Rin tugging him towards the side.

In their team area—between Finland and South Africa—they grabbed water bottles.  The screen on the wall was ticking down to 1pm.  Already, the women for the first heats of the afternoon—the 100m backstroke—had headed to the main pool for first call.  Once the races got underway, they’d have a few minutes more, then they were due in the call room for the men’s 200m free.  There were six heats of the free; Haru was fourth seed and Rin was seventh.  They had lanes five and three, respectively, in the sixth heat.  The swimmer between them—top seed in lane four—would be Damien Andrews.

Team USA had their space on the opposite side of the warm up pool.  Haru didn’t spend any time trying to pick out Andrews from among the swimmers gathered there.  The only thing that mattered was the way Andrews felt about the water and the way the water felt about him—which was _favorable_ if the guy’s records were any indication.  Andrews’ world record dated back to Rome in 2009—1:42-something—when synthetic tech suits were still legal.  His qualifying time for Rio was just over 1:45, which was almost a half-second under Haru’s personal best in Barcelona.

Haru wasn’t bothered by any of it, not with Rin’s arm draped comfortably around his shoulders, races to swim, and his best friend coming in tomorrow to watch.  He was relaxed, content, happy…

Haru leaned against Rin, resting their heads together with a soft breath.

Lips grazed his brow.  “You’re giving Ty fodder for his drinking game.”

“Fine with me.  Unless it bothers you, Rin?”

“Nah.”  Fingers sifted through his wet hair.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”

They detangled themselves and bowed as Coach Fujino approached in a white _sakura_ jacket and black warmup pants. 

Their coach surveyed them briefly, then smiled.  “How are you two feeling today?”

“Good,” Haru said.

Rin nodded.  “Ready.”

“Excellent.”  Fujino’s smile broadened.  “Today’s heats will be like any other competition you’ve been to—just louder and faster.  After you’re done with the two hundred free, we’ll do some exchange practice for the relay.”

Haru inhaled slowly.  _Relay._

“I’ve put you in for anchor, Matsuoka-kun.  Nanase-kun, you’ll swim third.”

 _It’ll be our first time—in an actual competition—with you swimming anchor._ Haru liked the idea a lot.

“Sounds good, Fujino-sensei,” Rin said, his voice bright with the same excitement Haru felt stirring inside him.

“Stay warm.  Coach Akagi will take you to the call room when it’s time.”

“Hai.”  They bowed again as he left.

Rin was hugging him before they fully straightened.  “ _Haru!_   We’re really—”

“I know.”  Haru met the eagerness sparkling in Rin’s eyes.  “We’re swimming relay on the same team again.”  _Just like you wanted._

The grin on Rin’s face reminded him of when they were twelve.  Haru could almost _see_ the pink petals blowing in the wind and hear the promise Rin made to him back then.  _If you swim with me, I’ll show you a sight you’ve never seen before_.

Haru couldn’t help himself—he wrapped his arms tightly around Rin’s waist, holding his lover close, pressing his lips to Rin’s cheek.  “I’m glad you asked me the first time, Rin.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t get to be here with you.”

He felt Rin’s breath hitch.  “Haru…”  His name was a hushed whisper.

Haru only drew back enough to meet Rin’s gaze, seeing his own reflection in gleaming scarlet eyes.

Rin sniffed hard, punching him lightly in the shoulder.  “ _Damnit_ , Haru.  I can’t swim and cry at the same time.”

“That’s why I said it now and not in the call room.”

Rin gave a choked half-laugh, half-sob and hugged him again.

-x-

Konishi was swimming the fifth heat of the women’s 100m backstroke while Haru and Rin stripped down to their suits and swim caps for inspection in the first call room.  The call room was off the pool deck on the lane zero side, adjacent to the final call room.  The place was crowded with competitors checking in and then milling about or sitting in white folding chairs while Rio staff went about their duties.

Two free-standing screens showed the race in the pool.  Konishi—in lane six—drove to the wall, finishing just under one minute.  She was fourth in her heat behind the top seed Australian swimmer and competitors from Canada and Hungary.  Haru watched as the overall rank flashed onscreen.  Konishi was eighth and had qualified for tonight’s semi-finals.

As the swimmers cleared the pool, the announcer came on: “ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the heats for the men’s two hundred meter freestyle.”_   The English was followed by Portuguese.

“ _Thank you, Senhor Nanase.  You’re all set._ ”  The official—in an orange Rio polo shirt and khaki pants—made a mark on his clipboard.

“ _Thank you_.”  Haru dipped his head as the official moved away.  He donned his warmups, glancing at the screen as the first eight men readied themselves behind the blocks.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he zipped up his _sakura_ jacket.  Haru left the inspection line, taking out the device.

_[Son, good luck!  Your mother and I are cheering for you.]_

Haru blinked, checking the time.  _[Dad, it’s after 1am.]_   … _And it’s Monday.  Don’t you have to work?_

His dad texted back a minute later.  _[Yes, it certainly is and we’re already through one pot of coffee.  I’m sorry we’re not there with you.  But we still want to support you the best we can.  I told my boss I’d work an alternate schedule this week.  He can deal with it.  This is important to you, so it’s important to us, too.  We’re so proud of you, Son.]_

Haru exhaled slowly, feeling an unexpected rise of emotion.  _Dad…Mom…_

“Hey, you alright?” Rin asked, shrugging into his jacket at Haru’s side.

Haru nodded.  “My dad’s texting me.”

Rin’s brows lifted.  “From home?  It’s…”

“Yeah.”  Haru sniffed, gathering himself.

Rin smiled, his warm arms circling Haru’s shoulders.  “I’m glad.”

Haru leaned against his lover, closing his eyes and relaxing.

…Until Rin’s phone buzzed once, twice, three times—

“You’re not going to check?” Haru asked.

“It’s Ai and the rest of the Samezuka team.”  Rin kissed his cheek.  “I’ll read it later.”

“… _I’m counting at least five points already_ ,” Ty said in English.

Haru opened his eyes, looking over Rin’s shoulder at the Australian swimmer in green warmups with _AUSTRALIA_ in gold across the chest. 

“ _Betting I’ll have a full beer’s worth by the end of the night_ ,” the guy said, grinning.

“ _Any excuse to get drunk once the competition’s over_ ,” Rin said with an exaggerated sigh, flicking his eyes towards the ceiling.

Despite the audience, Rin wasn’t letting go, which gave Haru a warm glow of pleasure.  He savored the moment as Rin and Ty continued to spar with friendly, verbal jabs. 

On the two TV screens, eight swimmers dove for the start of the first heat.  Haru’s eyes caught on the glistening water as the competitors submerged and came up swimming free.  His throat was suddenly parched—

Rin chuckled lightly and Haru realized he was gripping the front of Rin’s jacket.

“It won’t be that long now,” Rin whispered, smiling at him.

Haru nodded.

The heats progressed, competitors moving from the first call room to the final call room just prior to their race.  Women for the early heats of the 100m breaststroke started to arrive.  Haru split his attention between the pool and the room, comfortable with Rin’s arm draped around his shoulders.  He recognized a few competitors from his meets in Europe.

Not far from the inspection line, Damien Andrews was in navy blue and dark red warmups, with a steel gray parka overtop.  He wore his black Team USA swim cap and a winning smile as he posed with other swimmers in an endless line of selfies. 

After the competitors for the fourth heat filed into the final call room, the men for the fifth heat started to gather near the doorway connecting the rooms.  Ethan McInnes, from Australia, was among them.  He and Ty were swimming in the fifth heat.

“ _Haruka_.”  Ethan pulled out earbuds from beneath his swim cap and extended his hand.  “ _I’m looking forward to my rematch, so you’d better make the semi’s._ ”

Haru shook Ethan’s hand.  “ _You too.  Good luck, Ethan_.”

“ _Thanks_.”

On screen, the third heat finished their race, a swimmer from Austria winning.  So far, no one had gone below 1:47, but that would change with the remaining heats.

Haru and Rin waved as the Australians headed into the final call room.  They were left accompanied by the other swimmers for the sixth heat—two from France, and one each from Brazil, Belgium, Finland, and the USA.  Andrews had pulled away from the fawning crowds and was leaning against the wall, headphones on and eyes closed, looking calm and at ease.

The fourth heat ended with two swimmers—one from Germany and one from South Africa—hitting the wall sub-1:46.

Rin let out a low whistle.

Haru grasped his lover’s hand.  “You’re just as good, Rin.”

Rin grimaced faintly, not looking away from the screen.  “The only time I made 1:45 was swimming with you at the Japan Open.  Not since.”

Haru squeezed Rin’s fingers.  “Well, you _are_ swimming with me.”

Rin met his gaze, scarlet eyes softening.  He leaned their heads together, swim cap to swim cap.  “Yeah,” he murmured.

Haru smiled.

As the fifth heat stepped up to the blocks, the sixth heat was ushered into the final call room.  Haru gave up his lanyard to Rio staff as he went through the door, getting his face checked against his photo one last time.

The final call room had beige walls and structural columns, with rows of white folding chairs and blue Rio 2016 partitions.  There was a TV in the front on the left showing the race and a free-standing privacy screen in case anyone had a last-minute suit malfunction.  Near the two exits to the pool deck, a camera crew filmed the room while crowd noise poured in from the main arena.

Haru pulled out his phone and earbuds.  He had just enough time to listen to his favorite song.  The recording started with Takara and Rin firing back and forth—

_“This is one of my fight songs, Matsuoka.  You can forfeit now if you want.”_

_“Like hell I’m letting you win, Sakamoto.  Let’s do this.”_

Rin quirked a brow, eyeing him suspiciously.  “What’re you listening to?”

Haru wordlessly offered one of the earbuds.  It was just getting to the good part.

 _“You held me down, but I got up—hey!  Already brushing off the dust—”_   Rin’s voice and English overwhelmed Takara’s as the song built towards the chorus.

Rin worked the earbud carefully beneath the edge of his swim cap and into his ear.  Immediately, his face reddened, his features twisting into a scowl.  “ _Haru!_ ” 

“What?”  Haru feigned innocence.  “It gets me in the mood to race.”

Rin tugged the earbud free, flicking it at him.  The look in Rin’s eyes simmered dangerously and—if not for the cameras—Haru knew he would’ve gotten tackled to the wall or even the floor.

His heart did _that thing_ , the thrill warm in his veins.  _I love swimming with you, Rin.  You don’t even know how much; what this means to me._

On the TV, the fifth heat was sprinting towards the wall.  Ethan, in lane four, touched first at 1:45.66, just ahead of the Chinese swimmer in lane five.  A few strokes later, Ty—in lane two—finished at 1:46.40, fourth-place in the heat.

A Rio official with a clipboard at the front of the room started calling names, getting them to line up.  Haru turned off his music, putting everything back into his pocket. 

Rin caught his hand. 

Haru forgot about breathing as Rin lifted his hand, pressing a kiss to the back of his untaped wrist.  The cameras were _right there_ , but that wasn’t stopping Rin.  Haru’s fingers curled, affection flooding him.

“ _Eu te amo_ , Haru.”  Rin’s smile made his insides melt. 

 _Rin—_   Haru hugged his lover tight on impulse, even though the other swimmers were staring and the official was waving them into line.  “ _Eu tamb_ _én te amo_ ,” he whispered.

The waving got more dramatic, accompanied by urgent Portuguese. 

Haru let go, meeting the pleasure in Rin’s eyes before he drifted into his place in line between Damien Andrews and a swimmer from France.  His heart was already racing as they started to walk out.  Competing never felt like _this_ before.

They entered the arena through the left doorway, Haru following Rin and Andrews as the alcove funneled them in front of a massive screen that read _Men’s 200m Freestyle_ before opening to the pool deck.  The stadium was bright lights and camera flashes, loud cheering, and the familiar scent of chlorine—

_“Matsuoka-kun!”  “Haruka!”  “Nanase-kun!”_

The shouts came from their team in the stands on the left side.  Haru looked up, seeing his teammates, friends, and coaches.  _You guys…_

He waved before stepping up to the block on lane five.  It was loud, but Haru ignored the roar of the crowd, the chants of _USA-USA_ and the cowbell while Andrews—behind lane four—treated the audience to one of his dazzling smiles.

Haru adjusted the start block to the setting he wanted, then stripped down to his jammers, fitting his things into the provided bin.  He pressed his goggles into place, moving towards the water—

 _Two years ago, I didn’t have a dream.  But then you took me to a place like this and showed me what it could be like…_   Haru remembered standing on the block in Sydney with Rin beside him, how his world exploded into color, sound, and endless possibilities.  _I found what I was always looking for—a place to be free._  

That day—that changed his life forever—he’d imagined what it would feel like to be here.  But that fantasy paled to the reality of this moment, with his wrist still tingling from Rin’s kiss and his heart full of the love they shared.  Haru lifted his gaze from the pool to the stands to the ceiling—  _All this and so much more.  This is what you’ve given me, Rin._

The whistle sounded rapidly, Haru placing one foot on the block.  He peered around Andrews, looking for Rin by the block for lane three—

Rin was grinning at him, shark-teeth bared, the look cocky, confident, and eager.

The thrill Haru felt only grew.  He matched Rin’s expression with his eyes and a smile, before climbing up to the block at the long whistle and setting his feet.

In the lane in front of him, fifty meters of glossy blue water beckoned—

The crowd eventually quieted enough for the starter.

“ _Take your marks_ ,” the man said into the microphone.

Haru grasped the block, tensing, listening—

At the buzzer, he leapt forward, going streamline and slipping—fingertips first—into the water.  The noise vanished beneath the surface—it was just him, the water, and the other swimmers in the pool.  Haru dolphin-kicked smoothly to fifteen meters, reveling in the cool liquid gliding across his skin before he broke through and started his stroke.

With each breath he took during the first fifty meters, he saw Andrews in the lane on his right—in the place Rin should’ve been.  _You’re blocking my view._   Haru was tempted to speed up just to try for a glimpse beyond the churning foam, but he had to pace himself for the 200m.  Rin would yell at him later if he tired out too soon and _that_ was the reason. 

Haru was just a stroke behind Andrews as they curled into the first turn.  Twisting beneath the surface, he caught a flash of _sakura_ two lanes over; he and Rin were on pace, chasing Andrews.  In lane six, the French swimmer was slightly ahead.  Haru accelerated a tad, dipping each hand into the water, coaxing out that perfect catch and sailing forward with each pull. 

The French swimmer hit the turn first at the half, Haru flipped just after.  He found himself slightly in front of Andrews and Rin underwater, but the sprint was coming.  As soon as they surfaced, Andrews surged ahead.  Haru sped up to chase, knowing Rin would be doing the same in lane three. 

His lungs were burning at the 150 meter-mark; he was just trailing Andrews with Rin close behind.  For the final fifty, Haru went all-out, flying across the pool and stretching for the wall—

He finished with his right hand, popping up to draw deep lungfuls of the chlorinated air as the water tumbled over his shoulders.  Andrews was already done in lane four, celebrating with fists thrust into the air while loud cheering and _USA-USA_ chants rained down on him.

Haru tugged his goggles down to his throat, twisting to look up at the board—

_LN 3 – JPN – MATSUOKA Rin – 1:45.92 – 3_

_LN 4 – USA – ANDREWS Damien – 1:45.41 – 1_

_LN 5 – JPN – NANASE Haruka – 1:45.77 – 2_

_Rin—_ Haru’s heart thrilled inside him.  He ducked under the lane line, giving Andrews a courtesy, “ _Good race_ ,” before slipping into Rin’s lane—

Rin was bobbing in lane three, cap and goggles off, his wet scarlet hair brushed back from his face.  “Haru!”

Haru swam into Rin’s arms, the two of them bumping the opposite lane line as they hugged in the water and continued to catch their breath.  It was good— _really_ good—right and perfect and Haru didn’t have the words for how it felt to race with Rin on the same team, in the same pool, in front of the _world_ —

“Haru—”  Rin touched his left arm underwater.  “How’s…?”

Haru freed his left hand, lifting it from the water and flexing his wrist for emphasis.  “It’s fine.”  It didn’t hurt at all.

Rin’s brow creased, Haru watching as liquid welled up in ruby eyes.

Haru laid his palm against Rin’s cheek, his heart _full._   “We did it, Rin.  Two-three, semi-finals—”

Rin blinked, the tears spilling down his cheeks, splashing against Haru’s thumb. 

Rin’s arms tightened around Haru’s shoulders, reeling him in again.  Haru hugged his lover back, feeling the shuddering breath Rin took to gather himself.  _I could stay like this—with you—forever_.  Eventually, they’d have to get out of the pool and they had another race to swim, but…

Movement caught Haru’s eye.  He glanced over and blushed, finding a video camera pointed at them, the cameraman crouching between the blocks for lane three and four.

Haru did the only thing he could think of—he made a peace sign.  “Hi Mom.  Hi Dad,” he said, trying to stall for Rin’s sake.

Rin twisted half away from him, giving the camera a wave and a smile.  Thankfully, the cameraman moved on after that.

Haru and Rin exchanged sheepish shrugs and headed for the side of the pool.  They climbed out, waving at their teammates in the stands.  Most of the cameras were still trailing Andrews.  Their bins had been switched out for empty ones, Haru figuring they’d get their stuff back en route to the locker room.  He trailed Rin to the Rio officials near the exit, where their faces were checked against their IDs again.

…Then he paused, inhaling at the sight of all the reporters lining the way out.

Rin slung an arm across his shoulders.  “Come on, we got this,” he said, grinning.

Haru let the breath out slowly.  “OK.”

They made it through the doorway without being accosted—all the American press were clamoring for a chance at Andrews, not them—and headed into the Mixed Zone.  The corridor was on the way to the locker rooms, with scores of reporters clustered against green Rio 2016 barriers with recording devices, phones, and notepads. 

“Nanase-kun!  Matsuoka-kun!”  Japanese press were flush against the barrier, halfway down, waving wildly for their attention.

Rin led the way over.  There was a little step to stand on, so they could be better seen and heard by the reporters. 

“Can you tell us how it felt to swim your first Olympic race?”

Haru found a dozen recording devices pointed at him.  “It felt good,” he said.

The reporters continued to look at him expectantly.

 _What should I…?  Oh._ “I’ve wanted to swim this race with Rin for a long time.”  The press with notepads scribbled furiously.  _Was that good?_   Haru glanced aside for confirmation.

Rin was blushing faintly.

“How about you, Matsuoka-kun?”

“It’s a dream come true,” Rin said.  “I’ve been playing this moment over and over in my head since I was a kid, but there’s nothing like actually being here, finally racing.  It’s incredible.”

_Nn.  You’re still way better at this than me._

“Nanase-kun, is your wrist sprain still bothering you?”

Haru shook his head.  “No.  I’ll still ice it as a precaution, but it was fine during warm ups and during the race.”

“Matsuoka-kun, how do you feel about your prospects going into the semi-finals this evening?”

“Good, obviously,” Rin said with a grin.  “We’re here to represent Japan and race against the best in the world.  That’s on our minds every time we get in the pool.  Naturally the competition is fierce—as it should be—but we’re not intimidated.  We’re going to give it our all out there, one event at a time.”

They answered a few more questions before they could escape.  Rio staff waited at the end of the Mixed Zone with their bins from the pool.  After gathering their things, they headed into the locker room.  Finally away from the cameras, it was nice to rinse off and dry themselves in peace.  The place wasn’t empty, but Haru didn’t mind at all when Rin drew him into a semi-occupied row and draped a towel over their heads.

The kiss tasted like chlorine and Rin; it was brief, but still enough to linger against Haru’s lips when they parted.

Rin’s eyes danced with mirth as he went back to drying his hair.  “I can’t believe you just told Damien Andrews ‘ _good race_.’”

“He was in the way,” Haru said.

Rin chuckled. 

-x-

After a short break, they were back in the warm up pool, practicing exchanges with Hirota and Higashi.  Haru didn’t _need_ to run through it with Rin as anchor…but he wanted to.  Watching Rin dive over him in streamline, backlit by the overhead lights, was a sight that took his breath away, over and over again.  Plus, it conjured up certain memories from Spain that had nothing to do with diving or the pool…

They didn’t get to watch the heats for the women’s 100m breaststroke or the men’s 100m backstroke, but the reports came back from other swimmers and staff members.  In both races, Team Japan made the semi-finals—Otani and Ozawa in the breaststroke, Momo and Koda in the backstroke. 

The women’s 400m freestyle heats were going on when Haru, Rin, and their relay-only teammates arrived at the first call room for inspection.  Japan was in the first of two heats, in the second lane.  As the men’s relay teams gathered, the big names were noticeably absent.  Damien Andrews and Ethan McInnes would only swim the finals.  Ty was there, though, with his team from Australia, racing in the second heat.

Hirota and Higashi were wide-eyed in the call room, taking everything in.  They were a year younger—college first-years who hadn’t had the opportunity to participate in much of the overseas training before arriving in Brazil, whereas Haru and Rin had been through all of this less than an hour ago. 

Today’s schedule didn’t allow Haru any time to watch from upstairs.  Tomorrow would be less hectic—he didn’t have any heats in the afternoon so he could hang out in the warm up pool, try to sneak _saba_ into the stands, and otherwise relax.  Tonight’s semi-finals in the 200m free would determine if he was racing in Monday night’s finals.

 _And Makoto will be here._   Haru blinked, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his warmup jacket, more of Rin’s karaoke playing in his earbuds.  The reminder came with a glow of sweet anticipation.  It was nearing 3pm.  Makoto’s flight still had a couple more hours before they’d land in New York.

Rin prodded him gently in the ribs.

Haru pulled one earbud free.

“What’s that look?” Rin asked.

“Makoto’s coming tomorrow,” Haru said.

Rin’s face softened.  “Dummy, did you forget already?”

“No.”  Haru shook his head.  “I’ve just been so focused on swimming with you.”

Rin inhaled…and his lips quirked in a scowl, pink coloring his cheeks.  “ _Tch_ , Haru.  What am I going to do with you?”

Haru eyed Rin’s exceptionally kissable mouth.  _I have a few ideas for later…_

“ _Stop_ …” Rin said, nudging his shoulder playfully.

The final call room was lively with thirty-two swimmers milling about in matching team warmups.  Hirota and Higashi had started quietly asking questions and Rin was chattering on like a bossy, know-it-all sixth-grader.  Nostalgia made Haru miss Makoto more—and Nagisa and Rei.  As much as he was looking forward to swimming this relay with Rin, there was something wistfully absent without his Iwatobi friends.  _I only swim free…and relay._   He remembered the way they would light up when he said that—especially Nagisa.  Even though Haru sometimes found Nagisa’s endless glomming and infinite energy irritating, he would catch himself watching Momo’s antics and missing Nagisa.  Nagisa _and_ Rei, since the two were still as joined-at-the-hip now as they’d been in high school, if not more so.  Haru smiled to himself as he recalled how flustered the two were with the wedding talk during Nagisa’s birthday Skype; Rei was tomato-red, but then, Nagisa was often whispering things that made him blush like that.

When the Rio official at the front of the room lifted his clipboard, Haru put his music away, getting in line with his teammates.  Rin tackled him gently from behind with a grin and an infectious eager look in his eyes.

“Haru, you ready for this?”

“Yeah,” Haru said, lifting a hand to Rin’s arm.  _I never get tired of seeing you excited._

Rin blushed a little, his arms tightening. 

_“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the heats of the men’s four-by-one hundred freestyle relay.”_

The officials metered them into the arena, one country at a time.  The four members of the Japanese team walked out together, behind Romania and before Poland, waving to the crowds and their teammates in the stands.  Hirota and Higashi were, by turns, giddy and deer-in-the-headlights, but once they got to lane two and started the usual preparations, they settled down.

Hirota adjusted the block and stripped down to his _sakura_ jammers while Higashi stretched behind him.

Haru looked down the line.  Romania was in lane one, Japan in two, Poland in three.  The second-seed Russians were in lane four, followed by Italy, Canada, Germany, and Spain in lane eight. 

“Hirota-kun!”  “Higashi-kun!”  “Rin-senpai!”—apparently Momo had made it back to the stands after his race.  “Haruka!”

Haru paused to wave at Takara, who was in the stands between Mikoshiba and Ozawa, all of them on their feet with their Japanese flags.  Momo was hopping around beside Mikoshiba, but it looked like Sada had a decent grip on him. 

The whistle sounded rapidly, the lead-off swimmers approaching the pool.  Hirota seemed to gulp a little, fiddling with his goggles as he tentatively placed a foot on the block.

“You got this, Hirota,” Rin said.

Hirota glanced back with a nervous smile and a thumbs-up, climbing onto the block at the long whistle.  But he seemed calmer as he turned and set his feet.

Haru smiled to himself.  _I like it when you’re in captain mode, Rin._

Across the pool, all eight swimmers bent for the start, a hush settling over the arena—

_“Take your marks.”_

The buzzer sounded and the competitors dove, submerging beneath the glistening surface of the water—

Haru’s mouth went dry.  He unzipped his warmup jacket.

Beside him, Rin cocked a brow.

“What?  I’m getting ready.”

Rin grinned at him, saying nothing.

In the pool, Hirota was neck-in-neck with the Italians in lane five, with the Canadians in lane six in the lead going to the turn.  Cheering filled the stadium.

Higashi stepped up to the block in his jammers, feet set and leaning forward as Hirota raced back towards him.

Haru stripped down to his suit with flourish and pressed his goggles into place.  Italy, Russia, and Canada dove, followed by Higashi.

Rin caught his hand, squeezing his fingers.

Haru glanced over, meeting the warmth and eagerness in Rin’s eyes.  His heart thrilled inside him.  Haru squeezed back, holding his lover’s gaze for as long as he could before he had to pull away.

Higashi was in line with the Germans in lane seven, both swimmers battling for fourth place a half-length behind the leading pack.

Haru set the block and climbed up, carefully positioning his feet.  He bent halfway forward with his arms loose, hardly blinking as he watched Higashi approach from fifteen meters out, ten, five—

Haru started his dive, his feet leaving the block just after Higashi touched the wall.  He slipped into the quiet world underwater, the cool liquid enveloping him as he dolphin-kicked ahead of the competitors in the adjacent lanes.  Haru came up to long strokes of free, accelerating smoothly into his first-fifty sprint. 

It was hardly any time at all before the wall was in front of him.  He somersaulted into the turn, his connection solid with the wall as he pushed off.  Haru surfaced, sailing across the pool, pulling out everything for the final sprint.

Rin was waiting for him on the block and it was the best sight he’d seen today.  Haru kicked it up further in a final surge to the wall.  He slapped tile and Rin shadowed him—all carved muscle and legs wrapped in black, gold, and _sakura_ —  Haru barely breathed, even though his body was screaming for air, until Rin sliced into the lane, into the same water.

Haru pulled his goggles down to his throat, hoisting himself out by the blocks and joining his teammates.  Hirota and Higashi each had a hand gripping the other’s shoulder as they yelled and cheered along with the audience.  Haru watched, his chest heaving for breath as Rin passed the third place Italians and gained on the Canadians in lane two.  The Russians were well out in front, but Rin hit the turn two hundredths of a second in front of the Canadians.  He widened the gap underwater, the competition falling away as he sprinted towards the finish— 

Haru’s heart pounded as the Russians hit first and then Rin—Japan taking second place in the heat—followed by the Canadians and the Italians.

Two lanes over, the Russians were yelling and hugging each other.  Hirota and Higashi were jumping around behind the block.  Haru went to the pool where Rin was raking off his cap and goggles, looking at the board.

He celebrated with a fist slammed into the water, sending a spray of droplets against Haru’s ankles.

“Rin!”

Rin twisted toward him with a breathless grin and Haru reached down.  Their hands connected solidly, Rin pushing himself up as Haru pulled—

Then Rin was in his arms, wet and heaving with breath as the cheering continued.  The feeling was incredible—just perfect—as Rin clutched him and breathed hard.  Hirota and Higashi came over, the four of them huddling together.  With the bright-eyed excitement on their faces, it was almost as good as an Iwatobi relay.  Haru smiled, Rin still leaning on him heavily.  _Almost_.

They gathered their things, heading for ID checks and the Mixed Zone as the officials prepped for heat two.  All the big teams were in the second heat—France, USA, Australia, Brazil…  Hopefully, their time—3:13.21—was good enough to carry them through to the final.

There were two TV screens in the Mixed Zone.  Haru watched the live feed—his fingers laced together with Rin’s—while Hirota and Higashi answered questions for the Japanese press.  The United States team was in lane one, Australia in lane five, with the top seed French team in lane four.  Ty was second in line for the Australians.  Cheering poured into the corridor from the arena as, on screen, the lead off swimmers stepped up to the blocks—

“Nanase-kun, can you share your thoughts on today’s relay?”

Haru tore his attention from the screen, facing the reporters and their recording devices.  “It was a good race.  I’m glad we were able to swim together.”

“How about for you personally?”

Haru’s lips pursed as he thought about the question.  “The water felt nice,” he said.

Rin sighed beside him.

 _You don’t want me to tell them what’s on my mind when you anchor, Rin._   He returned his attention to the screen, where the first swimmers were in the water.

“Matsuoka-kun, how do you feel about the team’s performance?”

“Solid, for sure,” Rin said.  “What we did out there was just like we practiced.  Clean exchanges, good fast times.  All of our splits were right up with our personal bests, so we can be proud of what we showed the world this afternoon—and hope for a second chance tonight.”

“Obviously anchor is a crucial position in the relay.  How do you handle the pressure?”

“Every leg of the relay is important; whether I’m anchoring or not I feel that sense of responsibility to the team—to do my best.  We all feel that.  I’m glad I could bring it home during the race.  Going out there, giving my all and not holding back—that’s the way to swim without regrets.  I’m always pushing myself to improve, but I don’t waste effort wishing for what I don’t have.  That’s the quickest way to discouragement and burnout.” 

Haru adjusted his grip on Rin’s hand, happy with his lover’s response.  _That’s what it means to swim free, Rin._   On screen, the Brazilians had the lead at the first exchange with the United States and France right behind them.  Ty hit the water for Australia a couple tenths after.

“As childhood rivals, you and Nanase-kun have competed on opposing relay teams before.  How was today different?”

“Well, we weren’t always rivals.  We swam relay together at our hometown swim club, back in elementary school.”

“And you won?”

“Of course!”  Rin grinned.

“So, same question, Matsuoka-kun.  How was today different?  Or was it the same as your childhood?  For one, it doesn’t seem like the term ‘rival’ fits any longer…”

“Ah, that is…”  Rin trailed off.

 _All of those on-point responses and now you’re flustered, Rin?_   Haru leaned towards the recorders.  “We’ll answer questions about swimming.”

Rin shot him a look of gratitude, a faint blush coloring his face.

The reporter in question had a pen poised above her notepad.  “Perhaps you’d like to field that one, Nanase-kun?”

“I like being on the same team as Rin and I like swimming relay together,” Haru said.  “But even when we were competing on separate teams and even when we were training apart, I still enjoyed it, because what matters is that we’re both swimming freely and pursuing our dreams.  So, some parts are different and some parts are the same.”  He paused.  “I train harder with Rin around.”

Rin snorted.  “It’s true.  He’s chronically lazy.”

“Taper is the best part of swimming.”

“Taper is the _worst_ part of swimming.”

“I keep telling you, you’re doing it wrong,” Haru said, eyeing his lover.

“I’m not doing it wrong!”  Rin glared back.

The seconds ticked by, electricity crackling between them in the air and through their clasped hands.

The reporter cleared her throat lightly.

Rin’s blush darkened.

“It’s like that,” Haru said.

“Yeah,” Rin said.

“It’s the anchor leg!” Higashi said, all eyes snapping to the nearest screen.

Australia had the lead at the final exchange, with the United States only a split second behind.  Brazil and France trailed the two leaders.  But the US had the faster sprinter.  At the final turn, the United States had gained the lead and they kept it to the wall, hitting at 3:12 and change, with Australia finishing second.  France hit half a second later at 3:13.30—

“We did it!”  Hirota threw both hands into the air, his warmups still clutched in one fist.

“We made the final!”  Higashi hugged him, looking misty-eyed.

“Fourth overall,” Haru said, smiling at Rin.  _We get to swim another relay together._

Rin’s eyes gleamed, the pleasure bright on his face and Haru _knew_ they’d be kissing if not for the audience.  _Damnit._

“I’m gonna swim in an Olympic final!”  Hirota blinked, looking stunned.  “I have to call my mom!”

“Me too!”  Higashi and Hirota took off down the corridor.

Rin chuckled.  Haru shared a fond look with his lover and they excused themselves to well-wishes from the reporters.  “Good luck!”  “We’ll be cheering for you tonight!”

Haru and Rin left with a wave, heading for the warm up pool to cool down.

At least, that’s where they were headed until they both noticed the empty service stairwell outside the Athletes’ Lounge…

No one was looking when they slipped inside and Haru didn’t see any security cameras…not that he cared once Rin’s mouth was on his.  The bundles they were carrying—warmups and shoes—hit the floor, forgotten.  The wall was cold against Haru’s shoulder blades, but the heat of their kiss and the warmth of their bodies pressed together more than made up for it.  They only broke apart at the sound of footsteps and chatter outside, as other athletes passed by…

Rin smiled, leaning their foreheads together as they caught their breath.  “‘We’ll only answer questions about swimming,’” he murmured.

“You have to be ready for that, Rin.”  _Or we should knock off the PDA—_ an option Haru was not suggesting.

“I will be,” Rin said between kisses.  “Next time.”

-x-

Coach Maekawa eyed them suspiciously when they arrived at the pool, probably because the other half of their relay team was already well into cool down, along with several of the teams from heat _two_. 

Haru didn’t say anything, Rin equally tight-lipped.  They didn’t have any marks—they checked before leaving the stairwell—and it’s not like things had gotten out of hand either, with the rule in place.

Maekawa just pointed at the pool.

Haru and Rin dipped their heads, dumping their stuff off and heading for the closest lane that wasn’t too crowded.

Momo was waiting when they climbed out after warming down.  “Rin-senpai!”  “Nanase-senpai!”  The kid was beaming, hopping from foot to foot in his warmups.

“Hey Momo.”  Rin mussed the kid’s hair.  “Nice race.”

“Hee.”  Momo grinned.  “You too!”

They returned to Japan’s team area and grabbed towels, joining Captain Ikehara, Ozawa, Otani, Koda and their relay teammates.  There were shoulder slaps all around, Haru accepting a quick hug from Ozawa.

Coach Fujino was waiting to address them.  “Congratulations, Olympians.  It’s been another solid afternoon of prelims and we have a busy evening of finals and semi-finals ahead of us.”  He smiled warmly.  “You should be proud for getting this far, but not surprised.  After all, we knew you were among the best in the world when we selected you to represent us.”  Fujino made eye contact with each of them, Momo and Otani beaming.  Haru dipped his head in acknowledgement.

“Get some rest, everyone.  We’re back here no later than 9pm for warm ups and final adjustments.”

“Hai.”  They all bowed deeply. 

After Coach Fujino left, Haru and Rin finished drying off and pulled on their warmups while Captain Ikehara chatted with his roommates—Hirota and Higashi.  Momo ran off somewhere and the rest of their teammates started gathering their things.

“ _Hey Rin, Haruka!_ ”  Ty waved at them from across the pool, on the move in his green and gold warmups.

They met behind the blocks, closest to the exit. 

“ _Hey, congrats!_ ” Rin said.  “ _Third overall, huh?_ ”

“ _Thanks!_ ”  Ty grinned, his blond hair still slightly damp from the pool.  “ _You guys, too—fourth place!  We’ve only got a half second on you now, but Ethan’ll be in the final, so…_ ”

Rin sighed.  “ _Not to mention the Americans_.”

“ _Right_.”  The guy laughed.  “ _Hey, you got time to meet up with my parents?  Maybe grab a feed before we head back?_ ”

Haru exchanged a glance with Rin.

“You OK with it?” Rin asked.

Haru shrugged.  “Sure.”

“ _Yeah, that works_ ,” Rin said.

“ _Fantastic!  Meet you outside after rinse-off?_ ”

“ _We’ll be there_.”

After a quick shower, they donned their warmups and headed out with their gear bags, waiting by the sculpture of the Olympic rings in front of the Aquatic Centre.  It was cloudy now, warm but not hot.

“This would be a good landmark for tomorrow,” Haru said, watching as fans and athletes alike posed for selfies in front of the rings.  “Even Yamazaki should be able to find it.”

Rin sighed, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his warmup jacket.  “You know he’s gonna get lost at least once and end up in the middle of the Judo arena or something like that.”  He toed the concrete walkway with his sneaker.  “Probably during a match.”

“You won’t be the only one looking out for him.  Takara and Kawamura will help.”

Rin stilled, something unreadable flickering in his eyes.  “Ah.”

It wasn’t the first time Rin got quiet at the mention of his best friend.  Haru didn’t want to pry—Rin would talk about it if he wanted to.  _It’ll be good for you to have him here._   Now that Yamazaki had apologized, Haru wasn’t worried about the guy butting in between him and Rin.  But there were still things Rin needed to figure out—that much was obvious.

“ _There they are.  Oi, Rin!  Haruka!_ ”  Ty waved them over, an older blond couple in tow.  Ty’s parents were just as tall and lanky as he was, both decked out in gold Team Australia T-shirts. 

_“Rin, good to see you!”_

_“Hell of a race out there!”_

Rin shook hands with Ty’s parents.  _“Thanks!  Good to see you, too!”_

 _“Haruka, this is my mum and dad,”_ Ty said with a grin.  _“Mum, Dad…Haruka.”_

 _“Nice to meet you,”_ Haru said, shaking hands with Ty’s parents.

 _“Rin, he is just how you described him,”_ Ty’s mom said, her eyes soft blue like a clear sky.

Haru glanced at his lover askance.  _How many people in Australia did you talk to about me?_

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting Haru’s gaze.

 _“Ever been to Australia, mate?”_ Ty’s dad asked.

 _“Yes.”_   Haru dipped his head.  _“I visited Sydney two years ago.  I’m looking forward to going again.”_

_“Fantastic!  Be sure to let us know when you’re headed our way.”_

_“Actually, we have plans for Christmas this year,”_ Rin said.

 _“Christmas!”_   Ty’s parents exchanged a glance.  _“We’ll be visiting the rellies, but…”_

 _“Have you figured out accommodations, yet?”_ Ty’s mom asked.

_“Not yet.  We’ll sort out the details once we get back to Japan.”_

_“Stay at our place!  We’ve got a unit right off Bondi Beach.”_

Haru inhaled, envisioning white-tipped waves crashing along the sandy shore…

_“Oh, we couldn’t possibly impose—”_

_“You bloody well can!”_ Ty’s mom said.  _“We usually rent it out for the holidays, but family’s different and you’re basically family, Rin.  You and Haruka.”_

 _“Ah.”_   Rin looked at him sheepishly before turning back to the Australians.  _“Well, that would be amazing.  Thank you, that’s so generous.”_

Ty’s father waved it off.  _“Like Mum said.  Now, enough yabbering.  Who’s hungry?”_

 _“Me,”_ Ty said.  _“I could eat all the Macca’s.”_

 _Macca’s?_   Haru puzzled over the term.  Ty couldn’t be talking about mackerel… 

“He means McDonalds,” Rin said.

“Ah.”  Haru let his thoughts drift back to sea-salt spray, sunshine, and Rin chasing him into the water—

 _“Let’s go!”_   Ty led the way with his parents.

Rin took his hand, their bracelets brushing as they trailed a few steps behind the others.  “You’ll like their place.  It has great views of the ocean.”

Haru looked down at their clasped hands.  He could almost _hear_ the crash of the waves.  “ _Rin_ —”  He lifted his gaze, overwhelmed by a flood of warm, sweet emotion.  His mind and heart were full of promises—swimming together now, an apartment for two in Tokyo, Sydney for Christmas…and so much more.  _I never looked forward to the future…I never wanted anything…until I met you._

Rin’s eyes softened, his smile as beautiful as a Sydney sunrise or a Barcelona sunset.

-x-

Napping with an ice pack strapped to his wrist brought back memories from Spain.  Snippets of long nights and dryland invaded his dreams, though the sultry moments were the ones that lingered when Haru woke up.  Rin was still out beside him, the blankets pushed to his waist revealing an intoxicating expanse of bare skin against the sheets in the glow of the lamplight.  If not for the rule and their races tonight…

Haru rolled over with a sigh, unstrapping the ice pack and setting it on the nightstand.  He picked up his phone to check his messages, wading through Nagisa and Rei’s incoherent, sleep-deprived group texts and a few from his parents—

_[Haru, congrats!!  We just landed in New York and checked the heats.  I’m pretty sure the whole airplane thought we were nuts for all the yelling Gou, her mom, and Mikan did.  I watched a replay of the relay.  Was it as fun as it looked?]_

_Makoto_.  Haru shoved the covers back and got up, padding across the room to pull on Rin’s shark T-shirt and a pair of sweatpants over his underwear.  He slipped out into the main room of the apartment, switching over to Skype on his phone.

The call only rang once, Haru’s screen lighting with his best friend’s smiling face.

_“Haru!”_

“Makoto…”  The name came out softly, a lump forming in Haru’s throat.  He moved over to the couch and sank down onto beige cushions.

 _“Is that…?  Haruka-nii-san!!”_   Gou tackled Makoto, getting her face in the picture.  _“Where’s Onii-chan?”_

“Still asleep.”

 _“Haruka-honey, congratulations!!”_   Rin’s mom squeezed in on Makoto’s other side.  All three of them had changed into different Team Japan T-shirts or sweatshirts.

Haru dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

The women waved and scampered off, leaving them alone.  Makoto chuckled, looking relieved.

“I’m surprised they’re that hyper after thirteen hours on the plane.”

_“Well, seeing the results gave everyone a second wind.  That, plus the double-shot Starbucks…”_

“Oh.”  Haru smiled to himself.  “You did OK on the plane?”

Makoto brushed a hand through his hair, smiling.  _“I slept a little.  It reminded me of the time we took the overnight bus to Nationals.  Only more cramped.”_

“You’re getting by with the English?”

 _“People talk so fast.”_ Makoto exhaled.  “ _And some of the accents are hard to understand.”_

Haru nodded.  “It was exhausting at first.  Still is, sometimes.”

_“It’s a lifesaver having Rin’s mom here.  Her English is great.  She said she used to travel abroad with Rin’s dad all the time, before the kids were born.  So the rest of us are relying on her a lot.”_

The possibility occurred to him…  _Maybe by the time you came along, your dad was ready to retire, Rin.  Maybe he’d already swam in all the pools in the world and he was looking for something else.  Like different water._  

“How long’s your layover?” Haru asked.

 _“A while yet.”_   Makoto’s brow furrowed with disappointment.  _“We leave before the swimming starts tonight.”_

“It’s OK.”  _I’ll get to see you tomorrow, so…_

In the background, Haru heard Gou’s voice.  _“Sousuke-kuuun…?”_   It sounded like she was searching. 

Rin’s mom was with her.  _“Sousuke-honey?”_

Makoto grimaced.  _“Uh-oh.”_

“Wasn’t somebody watching him?”

 _“Yeah, we were taking turns, but…”_   Makoto sighed.  _“It’s not even the first time.  We lost him outside of the restroom after we landed.  Gou eventually found him at the duty-free shop, looking at designer satchels.”_

 _“Pretty sure they were purses.”_   Mikoshiba Mikan poked her head into view, her curly red-orange hair tamed behind an athletic headband.  She propped an elbow on Makoto’s shoulder, tall enough to make the gesture look comfortable.

_“Gou said it was the men’s section.”_

_“She also mentioned glitter.”_   Mikan wore a black and red Team Japan sweatshirt.

“Did he buy anything?”

 _“We’re not sure,”_ Makoto said. 

 _“Gou wouldn’t tell.”_   Mikan shrugged.

Haru inhaled.  “Mikan, did you…?”

Mikan grinned, giving him a thumbs-up.  _“Your saba is safe and snug in my checked bag.  Don’t worry your pretty head, Nanase.  Ran and Ren decorated the packaging—just wait till you see it.  It’s adorable.”_

Makoto chuckled.  _“They had a lot of fun with it.  …And then they tried to stowaway in my luggage.”_

_“Tried, nothing.  Ran even got the suitcase half-zipped up.”_

_“It squealed when I picked it up.”_   Makoto smiled.  _“That gave her away.”_

In the background, Gou and her mom continued their search.  _“Sousuke—”_

 _“I’d better join the hunt.”_   Mikan slipped her arm free and waved.  _“Good luck tonight!  Give my little brother a noogie, would you?”_

“I’ll ask Mikoshiba.  Thanks, Mikan.”  Haru waved back. 

Makoto watched the women leave, a worried look on his face. 

“You can go help if you want.”  _I know it’s hard for you to deny your nurturing instincts._

 _“Well…if they’re gone for more than five minutes.”_   Makoto sat down in a black airport chair and smiled.  _“Tell me about the relay.”_

“The water felt good,” Haru said.

_“Haru…”_

-x-

Makoto lasted seven minutes before he had to go help the others search.  Haru’s screen had just gone dark when the door to their bedroom opened, Rin coming out in a T-shirt and sleep pants, brushing hair from his face.  He was scowling, which meant he’d been interrupted from his nap, either by the phone or overheating or the fact that he was alone in bed…

Haru placed his phone on the coffee table, sitting back as Rin climbed onto the sofa—all but in Haru’s lap—and tucked his face into Haru’s throat with a grunt.

“How can anyone be _that_ bad with directions?”

 _Phone, huh?_   Haru arched a brow.  _He’s your best friend, Rin.  Aren’t you used to it by now?_   “Yamazaki does fine with places he’s familiar with.” 

“He used to get lost on the Samezuka campus.”  Rin’s voice was slightly muffled against Haru’s skin.

“Specific places.”  Haru lifted his hands to Rin’s back, rubbing lightly through the T-shirt.

Rin sighed.

“Makoto will make sure he gets on the right flight.”

“I know…”  Rin curved his spine, pressing into Haru’s touch.

“You’re fretting again, Rin.”

Rin growled faintly.  He shifted, latching onto a bit of skin with his teeth.

Haru closed his eyes, shivering pleasantly, his breath coming out in a hiss.

“All this nervous energy and nothing to do but swim and sleep…”  Rin punctuated his words with kisses along the side of Haru’s neck.

“Nn—”  Haru drew his lover closer, slipping his hands under Rin’s T-shirt to the warm skin beneath.  “We could go swimming.”

“Not what I had in mind, Haru.”  Rin stopped against his lips.

Haru trailed his fingertips across firm traps, to either side of Rin’s spine.  He felt the sigh leave Rin’s lungs before they parted.  There was a mild simmer in crimson eyes.  Haru’s breath failed as Rin settled over him—knees planted to either side of his hips.  One of Rin’s hands slid beneath Haru’s T-shirt, his palm spreading against Haru’s abs.  Rin’s other hand found the wall to the side of Haru’s head.

Haru leaned back, taking in the view as his body started to heat.  They were both fully clothed, but his mind did the stripping for him…  Haru swallowed hard.  Sometimes Rin was _fire_ —fireworks sparkling and sizzling above the surface of the ocean, blazing starbursts of red and gold.  The more the fireworks shimmered atop the water, the more distant the rule seemed, the line malleable—

Haru’s hands fell to grip Rin’s waist.  Rin, with a smirk on his face, rocked forward—

The next kiss wasn’t chaste but a clash of mouths with liquid glides of tongue, Rin pressing him into the sofa—

Noise—footsteps—sounded on the other side of the wall.

They broke from each other and the sofa so fast it was a miracle neither of them stumbled.  Rin had his hand as they sprinted soundlessly back to their room and closed the door.

“Huh, I could’ve sworn they were out here,” Mikoshiba said from the main room.

Haru and Rin slumped against the wall beside the sunset poster, out of breath.

“Look!  It’s Nanase-senpai’s phone!”

_Damnit._

“Well, I guess we’re having our own shaving party, Momotarou.”

“But I just shaved yesterday!”

“Touchups are a daily thing, little brother!  I told you already!”

“Awww.”

The brothers’ door closed.

Haru glanced aside at Rin, but reality was already invading, his heart starting to calm, his blood cooling.

Rin sighed, the sound heavy with resignation.  “Guess we’d better save it for the pool, huh?”

Haru nodded in reluctant agreement.  “I’m gonna get my phone.”

“Shower,” Rin said, pulling away and stripping off his T-shirt en route to the bathroom.  “We should shave too.”

“Ah.”  Haru moved slowly towards the door, his gaze lingering on his lover as Rin finished undressing just inside the bathroom.  _Six and a half days…_   He finally tore himself away, slipping quietly out the door.  _Only six and a half days left of swimming our Olympic dream with our teammates, with our friends and family watching and cheering us on…_   Haru picked up his phone, looking at the picture of them on his lock screen—their selfie from the Opening Ceremony.  Compared to _forever_ , it wasn’t that long.

-x-

Fresh from the warm up pool, Haru and Rin got to the call room just as the women for the 100m fly final were headed to final call.  Ozawa would be swimming in lane three.

“Good luck, Ozawa-senpai,” Haru said.

“Thanks!”  Ozawa was relaxed, smiling in her red _sakura_ jacket and black pants, with her light brown hair tamed beneath her swim cap.  “You guys too.”

Haru and Rin dipped their heads.  “Thanks.”

“How’s your wrist after warm ups, Nanase?”

“Good,” Haru said, flexing his left wrist a bit.  “It feels fine today.”

Ozawa’s smile brightened with relief.  “I’m glad.” 

Haru wondered if she was remembering São Paulo, the time she and Captain Ikehara came to get them…  _When I was crying in the kid’s pool._   It didn’t seem like only two weeks ago.  _I’ve come a long way since then._ Haru glanced at Rin, squeezing the hand he held gently.  Maybe Rin still wasn’t a hundred percent over it, but there were no ghosts in his eyes tonight.  _We both have._  

Rin gave him a soft look in return.

“You two…”  Ozawa exhaled, blinking and fanning her eyes.  “Don’t get me started, alright?”

A bit of heat gathered in Haru’s face. 

“Ahhh.”  She looked at the ceiling as she gathered herself.  “It’s like—”

A commotion from the call room entrance interrupted whatever she was going to say.  Judging by the excited chatter and sudden crowd—Damien Andrews of Team USA had arrived.

“…Nanase.  Matsuoka.”  Ozawa’s face smoothed in an instant, her voice sober.  “Don’t let that guy get under your skin.  It’s best to just ignore him.”

“He was on his best behavior during the heats,” Rin murmured.

“Yeah, the heats.”  She sighed, shrugging it off with a smile.  “Anyway.  Go out there and get it done.”

“Hai,” Rin said.

“You too.”  Haru nodded.

Ozawa left with a wave, heading into the adjacent final call room.

Rin tugged on Haru’s hand, gesturing with a tilt of his head.  “Wanna sit over there?”

“Sure.”

They took seats near the front of the room, where it was quieter and they had an unobstructed view of the screen.  The live feed showed an exterior shot of the Aquatic Centre—all lit up against the night sky, the fabric covering glowing blue—and crowds on the surrounding Olympic Park grounds.  Soon after, the camera switched to the stadium’s interior with close-ups of fans decked out in team colors and waving flags.  _Finally_ , they showed the pool, all glossy and still, reflecting the lighting above.  The photographers were packing out their sections and the arena was even more crowded than last night.

Haru’s phone buzzed in his pocket at the same time Rin’s did.  It was a group text from Nagisa.

_[Good luck, Haru-chan, Rin-chan!  Fight-o!]_

Another text followed from Rei.  _[Haruka-senpai, Rin-chan-san, we’re looking forward to watching your beautiful swimming tonight!]_

_[Rei-chan, it’s morning here.]_

_[It’s night in Rio de Janeiro, Nagisa-kun.  I’m being referential to avoid distraction or confusion.]_

_[But I’m confused.]_

_[What does it matter if you’re confused?  You’re here!]_

Haru smiled, imagining an exasperated Rei pulling his hair out with a puzzled Nagisa beside him.  He shared a fond look with Rin before tapping out a reply.  _[Thanks, Nagisa, Rei.  It means a lot that you’re supporting us.]_

There was a moment’s pause…

_[Oh!  We got a text from Haru-chan!]_

_[Haruka-senpai!!]_

Haru frowned at the phone.  “I just said what I was thinking.  Was it weird?”

Rin just shook his head, smiling.

 _“Oi!  Haruka!  Rin!”_   Ty came over with Ethan, both of them in green and gold warmups.

Haru slipped his phone back into his pocket, getting up to shake hands.

 _“You and me, mate,”_ Ethan said, clasping his hand firmly.

 _“Yes,”_ Haru said, dipping his head with pride.  He enjoyed every time he got to swim with the Australian captain and the friendly rivalry between them.  _If I never left Iwatobi, I wouldn’t have realized there are other people in the world I want to swim with…and people who want to swim with me, too._   He thought briefly of Luis—from Arizona—the curly-haired ten-year-old with Rin’s smile and a big Olympic dream.  _I hope we can swim together again someday._

On screen, the camera was zooming in on the entrance as the women for the 100m fly final were introduced by country and name.  Ozawa headed out, waving both hands high and looking towards their teammates in the stands before she crossed to lane three.  Canada was in lane two and Sweden had the top seed in lane four.

The call room felt empty compared to the heats.  Aside from a few team managers and officials, there were only the sixteen men for the 200m free, soon to be eight when the competitors for the first semi-final headed to final call.

That was when he’d have to leave Rin.  Haru and Ethan were in heat one, Rin, Ty, and Damien were in heat two.  It would only be a few minutes and one race, but…

Haru turned towards his lover, everyone else’s attention focused on the screen as the women readied themselves behind the blocks.

“Rin.”

“Hm?”

Haru grasped Rin’s arm.  “I’ll show you something good out there.  You do it too.”  _Let’s make the final together._

“Haru…”  Scarlet eyes softened.  Rin grabbed his elbow, pulling him into a tight hug.  “Yeah, dummy.” 

“ _Ooh, at least a point right there_ ,” Ty said.

“ _I can hear you and I don’t care_ ,” Rin said.

Haru smiled.

Footsteps approached, but it wasn’t the officials.  A dark gray parka crossed in front of the screen as Damien Andrews came to their corner of the room, stopping beside the Australian captain.

“ _Ethan McInnes_.”  Andrews’ smile was as dazzling as always, but there was a subtle gleam in his eyes as he extended his hand.  “ _The man who’ll retire with the most silver medals of anyone I know_.”

It took Haru a second to process the English, since he couldn’t rely on tone.  Andrews said everything in a friendly, dulcet voice.  Rin must’ve gotten it immediately though, because he scowled as he pulled away, standing close to Haru’s side as they watched.

Ethan seemed unfazed as he shook the American’s hand.  “ _Damien_.”

“ _How’s the family?_ ”

“ _Good!”_   Ethan smiled.  _“The gang’s all here, so my girls are cheering me on.  And you?  How’s Colette?  And…Sophia, is it?”_

Andrews’ face lit up.  _“They’re amazing.  Sophia’s barely one year old and she’s walking and chattering up a storm.  Here, let me—”_   The guy reached into his pocket, taking out his phone. 

Ethan leaned in to see the picture, his arms folded across his chest.  _“Oh, that’s a right cute ankle-biter you got there.”_

Andrews gazed at his phone.  _“People are divided who she takes after more.  She got the best halves of both of us in my opinion.”_

_“You know, Damien…  Not that I expect you’ll listen to me.  But now that you’re father to such a beautiful little girl, you should try to be less of a dickhead.”_

Rin coughed as if choking on his own saliva.

Haru glanced over.  “Is that an Australian term?” he whispered.

“I’ve heard worse,” Rin murmured.

Andrews chuckled as he returned his phone to the pocket of his parka.  _“I’m not going to miss you or your plucky terms of endearment.”_ He smiled and it wasn’t a very nice smile.  _“Call me if you ever make the top of the podium.”_

Ethan’s smile was genuine.  _“Right.”_

Andrews left, donning his headphones. 

Ty had his lips pressed and arms folded, as if he were trying to contain himself. 

Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “ _That, uh_ …”

“ _He finds me irritating because I don’t let him rile me up anymore_ ,” Ethan said with a shrug.  “ _I’ve got a lovely wife, two beautiful girls, and a drawer full of Olympic medals.  That’s more than some countries have._ ”  The Australian captain shook his head.  “ _When you’re at the top of the mountain, looking down on everyone, all you’ve got is your own nosebleeds to keep you company.  The kid’ll get him right eventually.  He’s already mellower than he used to be, thanks to Colette_.”

“ _How old are your children?_ ” Haru asked.

Ethan dug into his pocket.  “ _Seven and five.  Apples of my eyes, these two._ ”  He showed Haru a picture of two blond girls with curly hair, grinning at the camera and wearing spring dresses.

Haru did the math.  “ _This is your second Olympics as a father_.”

“ _You want ankle-biters of your own someday?_ ”

Ankle-biters…the term might be literal if the kids inherited Rin’s teeth.  Haru nodded.  “ _Someday_.”  Rin blushed beside him.

Ethan’s smile was fond.  “ _Best thing I ever did with my life_.”

Haru treasured those words, sliding his hand into Rin’s and squeezing gently.  Rin didn’t respond, drawing a slow breath as if to maintain his composure.

A Rio official entered from the doorway to the final call room, clipboard in hand.  “ _Senhor McInnes_.  _Senhor Nanase_ …”  He read names off his list one-by-one.

Haru turned to say goodbye, but Rin was already hugging him.

“See you after,” Rin said.

“Ah.  I’ll wait for you in the Mixed Zone.”  Haru pondered his lover’s lips, wondering if Rin would let him.

“Hurry up if you’re gonna.”

Haru smiled, leaning in for the briefest kiss.  Rin’s cheeks were as scarlet as his hair when they parted, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing Haru’s hand, his lips grazing Haru’s wrist before he stepped back and let go.

“ _Four points, aye?_ ” Ty said.

Haru held Rin’s gaze for a moment more before he had to turn away, following Ethan to the last ID check and the final call room.

Cheering poured in from the pool deck.  The women’s race was done with Sweden winning gold, Canada taking silver, and the USA earning bronze.  Ozawa came in sixth.

Haru looked around the room.  Besides Ethan, the other competitors were from South Africa, Great Britain, the Netherlands, Serbia, and Poland.

“ _Haruka_.”  Ethan waved him close.  “ _Keep up, alright?  This’ll be the slower heat.  Not many of us will make the final_.”

Haru nodded.

“ _One-forty-five’s the goal_.”

Haru drew a slow breath.  His personal best was 1:45.50—a half second slower.  The time had earned him a gold medal in Barcelona with Rin in the stands.  But Rin was watching this time too.  “ _OK_ ,” he said.

Ethan gave him a thumbs-up.

Haru returned the gesture.

As the women cleared the pool, the Rio officials in the final call room divided the men into two lines—one for each entrance—so they could cross the deck to their lane.  Haru was at the back of the line on the right side—he’d be swimming in lane five.  On the opposite side of the room, Ethan was at the end of the line for lane four.

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the semi-finals for the men’s two hundred meter freestyle_.”

Haru did a final check of his goggles and swim cap.  He was ready.  In minutes, he’d get to feel the water again.

“ _In lane eight, representing Poland_ …”  Haru’s line moved forward as the swimmer in white and red warmups headed out.

“ _In lane one, representing South Africa_ …”  “ _In lane seven, representing Serbia_ …”

Soon, it was only the two of them left.

“ _In lane five, representing Japan…  Haruka Nanase_.” 

Haru walked out in front of the screen bearing his name, waving at the crowd and at the cameras in front of the pool. 

“Haruka!”  “Nanase-kun!”  He looked up and left, waving to his teammates in the stands before heading to the block on lane five and adjusting it.

“ _In lane four, representing Australia…  Ethan McInnes_.”

The cheering was loudest for the Australian captain, especially with the rest of the Australian team in the stands just behind the entrance.

Haru stripped down to his _sakura_ jammers, placing his belongings in the bin.  He gazed across the pool at fifty meters of clear blue water—beckoning him, inviting him to slip into its embrace—

At the rapid whistle, Haru settled his goggles into place, stepping up to the block on Ethan’s left.  He could still feel Rin’s kiss on his wrist and on his lips.  _I’ll give you something to aim for, Rin.  Like I promised._

The long whistle sounded.  Haru climbed up, setting his feet.  He bent for the start as the arena hushed, feeling the gritty block against his palms. 

“ _Take your marks._ ”

At the buzzer, he leapt forward, plunging into pure bliss.  Ethan was on his right, setting the pace, but Rin was on Haru’s mind as he came up to stroke—Rin and his friends and family, knowing they were all watching and supporting him this very second—

The laps fell behind him one after another; Haru did the whole race at speed, slapping the wall at the end.  The cheering was deafening as he popped up with Ethan beside him, and turned for a glimpse of the board.

_LN 4 – AUS – McINNES Ethan – 1:45.09 – 1_

_LN 5 – JPN – NANASE Haruka – 1:45.12 – 2_

It wasn’t quite sub-1:45.  Haru hooked his arms over the yellow lane line, catching his breath as Ethan swam to him.

“ _Will that work?_ ” Haru asked between breaths, tugging his goggles down to his neck.

Ethan broke into a grin.  “‘ _Will that work?_ ’”  He laughed.  “ _That’ll do, Haruka_.”  Ethan clasped his hand.

“ _Congratulations, Ethan_.”

“ _You too_.”

“ _Dad!!_ ”  The yell came from the left side of the pool.

Ethan broke away, lifting his arm in a vigorous wave.

Haru followed the guy’s gaze, finding a green and gold section and a trio of curly-haired blonds wearing _Team McInnes_ T-shirts.  Ethan’s girls were jumping, each gripping a corner of an Australian flag.

 _Maybe, Someday…_   Haru turned away, swimming under the lane lines to the side of the pool.  He climbed out, waving to his teammates in the stands before he headed for the exit.  _Ordinary can wait until we’re ready, Rin._

In the Mixed Zone, Haru accepted a towel from a Rio staff member and found a spot in view of the TV screen.  The Japanese reporters flocked to him.  “You can ask questions if you want,” he said, “but I’m watching the race.”

“Nanase-kun, how does it feel to beat your personal best time in the 200 meter free?”

“Good,” he said, not taking his eyes off the screen.  The last of the swimmers from the first semi-final had cleared the pool.  As the camera panned across the pool towards the entrance, the heat list for the second semi-final flashed on screen.  Rin had lane six with a Chinese swimmer in lane five and Ty in lane seven. 

“What about your rivalry with the Australian captain—Ethan McInnes?”

“It’s a friendly rivalry,” Haru said.

The camera zoomed in on the entrance, the screen behind lighting with the name of a swimmer from Venezuela. 

“Do you feel good about your chances to make the final?”

“Yes.”

The swimmers started to walk out one at a time for lane eight, lane one, lane seven, lane two…

Another question was fired his way but Haru didn’t hear it as Rin’s name rippled on the entrance screen.  He drew a breath, clutching the towel to his chest as his lover appeared—striding out and waving. 

“Rin…”  The name left his lips in a whisper and he didn’t care if the reporters heard it.  Rin was grinning, every movement confident, everything about him fired up as he walked up to his block.

Haru smiled, the glow expanding in his chest.  _I love it when you’re like this.  I love you always, but it makes me happy, watching you enjoy your dream._

The camera flicked back to the entrance to introduce the swimmer for lane three. 

Haru blinked, finally glancing away from the screen.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“Can you tell us what it means to you, getting to swim this event with Matsuoka-kun?”  The reporter pushed her recording device closer to him (as did a half dozen others).

Haru puzzled over the question for a moment.  How could he possibly distill into words what it meant—a journey that started back in early April with a 200m free final 0.08 seconds apart, that sent him to the Olympics without Rin?  How could he explain how it felt—those two days until Rin qualified during the 100m free—the knots in his stomach and things he couldn’t say to anyone?  To be here now—after the Japan Open and so much more…

He shook his head.  “I can’t.  It’s my dream.  More than that, I…don’t have the words.”

The reporter nodded, seeming satisfied with his answer regardless.

Even from here, the cheering was loud as Damien Andrews entered the arena as top seed.  _There’s the cowbell again._

“Damien Andrews-san previously mentioned both you and Matsuoka-kun as rivals for the hundred free.  How do you feel about racing him here in the two hundred?”

Haru shrugged.  “I’m not racing him.”

“...Can you elaborate, Nanase-kun?”

 _I’m giving Rin something to aim for_.  But he wasn’t saying that to the press.  “No,” he said.

The reporter sighed. 

“What do you expect?” another reporter murmured.  “He’s the one who ‘only swims free.’”

 _I only interview free_.  Haru smiled to himself.

The rapid whistle drew his attention back to the screen.  The camera angle was down the line from lane eight, Haru easily picking out Rin in his _sakura_ leg skins on lane six.  At the long pulse, the swimmers climbed up for the start, the camera switching to the blocks and first fifteen meters of water.  Haru watched Rin bend and grasp the block.  As the arena quieted, he could hear the starter.

“ _Take your marks_.”

Rin tensed.

The buzzer sounded; Rin’s reaction time was good, but immediately the camera switched to an underwater view of lanes four and five. 

 _Nn._   Haru frowned.  _Show the whole pool._

He got his wish as the swimmers surfaced in a fast first fifty, driving towards the turn.  Damien was first at the wall, with the Hungarian in lane one and the second USA swimmer in lane two behind him.  Rin was pacing himself with Ty, just shy of the leaders.  The underwater view as the competitors dolphin-kicked out of the first turn had Rin in the foreground, Haru catching just a few lithe strokes before Rin broke through the surface.

The overhead shot showed all eight lanes.  Andrews was out front, but no one was far behind.  At the half, it was USA, USA, and China, Rin easing ahead of Ty.  During the second half, the early leaders—other than Andrews—started to fall away while the remaining swimmers started their sprints.  Haru held his breath as Rin made his move, coming up to fourth at the final turn and surging into third midway through the last fifty.  Damien finished first, the swimmer in lane five took second, and Rin hit the wall in third place, slightly later.

The swimmers bobbed in the water, the camera focusing on Andrews as he looked at the board.  His time flashed up at 1:44.57.

Andrews waved at a roaring crowd, shaking hands with his competitors on either side.  Then the feed went to slow-motion replays of the start and finish.  Haru exhaled.  _Show the full results already._

Finally, the graphic came up.  Rin’s 3rd place time was 1:45.48. 

_Rin—_

The graphic hung in place for ten seconds, then the overall standings flashed up—

Both of their names were listed, Haru in fourth and Rin in fifth.  Moisture stung Haru’s eyes.  _We did it—we made the final together._   Aside from Andrews and Ethan, the other competitors were from China, Germany, America, and South Africa—all sub-1:46.  Ty had just failed to make the cut, finishing ninth overall.

Haru brushed his wrist across his eyes.  He didn’t mean to get emotional about it, but—

“Haru!”

He whirled at the sound of Rin’s voice—Rin who was striding into the Mixed Zone with his cap and goggles in one hand and a huge grin on his face. 

Haru draped his towel around his neck.  Stepping off the platform near the reporters, he planted his feet and opened his arms—

They crashed together in a close, messy hug.  Rin’s eyes were glittering with excitement, his skin and hair still wet from the pool.

“You were amazing out there,” Rin whispered.  “I always knew—”

Haru sniffed hard, a lump forming in his throat.  “Rin…”

“And your wrist is still good, right?”  There was no shadow of worry in Rin’s eyes—none at all.

Haru could only nod, tightening his arms around his lover’s waist.

Rin stroked through his hair.  “Four-five, Haru.  And we’ve still got a relay to swim tonight.”

“Ah.”  He smiled.

The commotion started at the other end of the corridor, reporters clamoring towards the pool’s exit as Damien Andrews entered the Mixed Zone.

Haru and Rin shared a look and quietly parted.  Rin had his hand as they headed for the locker room.

“Matsuoka-kun!  If you would, please!”

“Wasn’t that enough of a show?” Rin muttered, turning back.  “One question.”

The reporter was pressed up against the barrier, her recording device held out.  “What does it mean to you, to swim the two hundred free final with Nanase-kun?”

“That’s obvious isn’t it?  It’s been my dream since we were kids.  I always knew we’d get here one day.”

Haru’s breath caught.   _Rin…_

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have a relay final to prep for…”  Rin tossed the reporters a lethal smile and slipped his arm around Haru’s shoulders.

Haru tangled his fingers into Rin’s, unable to take his eyes off the one he loved as they made their escape.

-x-

They took a break in the Athletes’ Lounge, replenishing with sports drinks as the women’s 100m breaststroke semi-finals got underway.  The lounge was stocked with snacks and beverages, with plenty of comfortable seating and multiple TVs.  Best of all, there were no cameras.  Rin was draped against Haru’s back as they sat together on the sofa in their warm ups.  Beside them, Ty was slumped across the lap of one of his Australian teammates, moping.

Haru tried to watch the screen, but it was hard to stay focused with shark teeth sneaking in to nip at his earlobe when no one was looking.

“If you’re hungry, you should eat something,” Haru murmured, glancing aside at his lover.

Rin’s eyes sparkled with mischief.  “I am.”

Haru exhaled.  “You’re acting like a kid, you know.”

Rin’s chuckle rumbled against Haru’s back.  “Right.  Pretend you don’t like it, Nanase.”

Heat welled up in Haru’s cheeks and he couldn’t hold back a smile.  He turned his head, catching the corner of Rin’s mouth with his lips.  _You know I do._

The shark went crimson, ducking behind him to hide.  Haru returned his attention to the screen as Rin’s forehead burned against the back of his neck.

Otani and Ozawa were both in the second semi-final, in lanes two and six, respectively.  Otani walked out clutching a _sakura-_ pink towel like a security blanket.

“She always looks nervous.”

Rin rested his chin on Haru’s shoulder.  “She’s not as bad as Nitori.  He always looked like he was gonna throw up before the big meets.  She’ll be fine.”

Ozawa—the London bronze medalist—came out next, waving for the crowd.  She didn’t look fatigued at all, despite this being her second race of the evening.  The Americans had lanes four and five, while a Chinese swimmer was in lane three.  The first semi-final had been won by a Russian competitor who went sub-1:06. 

The ladies stepped up to the blocks in their kneeskins.  Otani, in lane two, was last up, taking a deep breath and fixing her goggles one last time.

“The water’s nice today,” Haru said.  “She shouldn’t worry.”

Rin snorted, kissing his cheek.  “Dummy.”  He lowered his voice.  “Not everyone makes love to the water like you do.”

Haru cocked a brow.  “I only make love to one of my waters, Rin.”

Rin flushed dark, his breath coming out in a little growl against the side of Haru’s neck.

Haru smiled to himself, lifting his hand to one of Rin’s and tangling their fingers together.

On screen, the women dove.  It was a quick down-and-back with the top seed American in lane four leading the whole race.  She hit at 1:05.68.  Ozawa and Otani tied for sixth place overall at 1:06.60 and made tomorrow’s final.

The medal ceremony for the women’s 100m butterfly followed; Haru and Rin headed back to the pool to prep for the relay.  They didn’t get to watch Captain Ikehara in the 100m breaststroke final or Momo and Koda in the 100m backstroke semi-finals, but the results flashed up on the screen behind the blocks.  Ikehara went sub-59 seconds to eke out a bronze medal and a new Japanese record while Momo took second place in the first semi-final, qualifying as fourth overall for the final.  Koda, in the second semi-final, just fell short in tenth place overall.

Haru watched bits of the medal ceremony for the men’s 100m breaststroke from the first call room—Captain Ikehara posing for pictures beside the gold medalist from Great Britain and the silver medalist from South Africa.  Haru’s fingers were interwoven with Rin’s, the two of them relaxing in chairs on the side of the room and staying as far away from the mayhem as possible.  –Mayhem being the crowd around the American four-by-one hundred relay team in their parkas, _all_ of whom had swapped out since the prelims this afternoon.  Hirota and Higashi were back to wide-eyed staring at the big names in the room.

Haru wasn’t bothered by any of it, not with Rin’s karaoke on his phone and his lover by his side…especially when Rin slipped an arm around his shoulders and drew him close.  He snuggled in, resting his head on Rin’s shoulder as Rin serenaded him in English through one earbud.

“Just don’t fall asleep on me,” Rin murmured into his other ear.

Haru glanced up at his lover as he laid a hand on Rin’s thigh.  “Why would I do that?”

Rin’s eyes darkened a shade or two, his grin sly.

Konishi was up in the first semi-final of the women’s 100m backstroke.  She took fourth place in her race; from the final call room, Haru watched the overall ranking flash on screen after the second heat was over.  She’d just made the final, in eighth place overall.

At the front of the final call room, the Canadian men were dancing in their head-to-toe red warmups.  Ty was back in better spirits, hanging out with Ethan and his other teammates.  Team USA was in a huddle, talking and laughing in low voices.

“Uh, Matsuoka-kun?”  Higashi was working a wrinkle out of his swim cap.  “Got something, you know, motivational?”

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Me, huh?”  He glanced away briefly, looking thoughtful.  “Alright, get over here.”

The four of them huddled up, Rin’s arm comfortably draped across Haru’s shoulders.  Haru slipped his left arm around Rin’s waist, beneath Rin’s warmup jacket.  When Rin quirked a brow, Haru feigned innocence.

“OK, look,” Rin said.  “We’re not gonna be intimidated by the guys on either side of us—especially you-know-who.”  Team USA would be swimming on their right in lane five.  “This is our race and we’re swimming for Japan.  Nothing matters but the clock and the water—”  Rin winced.  “ _Damnit_ , you’re rubbing off on me.”  He glared at Haru mildly.

Haru smiled.

“We’re gonna go out there and give it everything.  Swim with no regrets.  Got it?”

“Hai!”  Higashi and Hirota beamed at Rin.

They broke apart, getting in line as the Rio officials directed.

Haru hugged Rin around the waist from behind.  “That was good, Rin.”

“Shut up, Haru.”

 _Make me_.  Haru leaned in, sneaking a kiss to the back of Rin’s neck when he was fairly sure the cameras weren’t pointed at them.

Rin’s hand closed around his arm.  “You’re not even supposed to be back there.”

Haru obediently took his place in front, not disappointed when Rin tackled him. 

“I’m so biting you later,” Rin muttered against his right ear.

Haru gave Rin a sultry look over his shoulder.  “Promise?”  He got a hand in the face for his teasing, Rin scowling at him.  Haru chuckled, kissing Rin’s palm.  “Love you, Rin.”

Rin grunted but gave him a quick peck on the cheek…and then caught his wrist.  “Love you too.” 

Haru’s insides were liquid and warm, his heart full as Rin’s lips tenderly grazed his untaped wrist.  It would be good when Rin didn’t feel the need to do this anymore… _but I’ll miss it, too._

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the championship final for the men’s four-by-one hundred freestyle relay_.”

The Belgium team walked out first, followed by Brazil—to thunderous cheering, Canada, and France.  Team Japan headed out to lane six, waving to the crowd, the cameras, and their teammates.  After them were Australia, USA—with more cowbell, and the top seed Russians in lane four.

Hirota adjusted the block and stripped down to his _sakura_ jammers.  He and Higashi fist-bumped, both of them looking more comfortable than they had this afternoon.  Haru waited behind the folding chair with Rin.  Team Japan had the Canadians on their left; Damien Andrews was anchoring for Team USA on their right.  The Australians were in lane three with Ty third and Ethan on anchor.

It took a while for the crowd to quiet enough for the start.  According to the clock on the wall, there were only seven minutes until midnight; Haru didn’t feel any hint of fatigue.

Hirota dove at the buzzer, the start clean across the board.  The American in lane five shot out into an early lead, though Brazil in lane one got to the wall first for the turn.  Hirota was fourth at the fifty-meter mark.  As Higashi climbed onto the block, Haru shucked off his warmups and settled his goggles over his eyes. 

France, in lane two, dove first at one-hundred meters, followed immediately by the United States and Brazil.  Higashi dove less than half a second later, on pace with the Canadians in lane seven.

Haru glanced back before he went to the block, squeezing Rin’s hand and feeling the eagerness in Rin’s gaze resonate within him.  He adjusted the lane six block and climbed up.

France continued to hold the lead with the USA in a close second place.  Canada, Russia, and Brazil surged forward during the second leg, Team Japan falling behind with Belgium and Australia.  _But—_

Higashi touched the wall; Haru slipped into the pool.  At fifteen meters, he surfaced into his sprint, thinking of nothing but the water and Rin waiting for him on the block.  He dug in when his feet found the wall during the turn and surged ahead of the Canadian swimmer in lane seven during the back fifty.

He swam to Rin—to the moment when his palm was against the tile and Rin was shadowing him with his dive—  It was just as good as earlier. 

Haru hoisted himself out of the pool, pulling his goggles down to his neck as he surveyed the pool.  The Americans were way out in front with France and Russia trailing.  But Haru had gotten Team Japan ahead of the Australians.  Ethan was one stroke behind Rin as they headed into the final turn of the race—  It was USA, France, and Russia pushing off first as everyone turned it up for the last fifty.  Ethan made his move, passing the Russian anchor halfway across the pool.

Haru raked off his swim cap, Hirota and Higashi holding each other’s arms and cheering loudly nearby.  In the pool, Rin trailed the Russian anchor by one stroke if that.

Haru gripped his swim cap, dripping water on the pool deck as he leaned in.  “ _Rin!_ ” 

The lead swimmers hit the finish—USA first, followed by France.  In the final fifteen meters, Rin surged past the Russian anchor, gaining on Ethan—

Australia touched third, Japan fourth, Russia fifth.  Haru stared at the board in disbelief.  This afternoon, they’d made 3:13.21.  Their time tonight was 3:11.42—almost two whole seconds faster.  But the most amazing thing was the margin.  Against Australia’s top talent, they’d taken fourth by only seven- _hundredths_ of a second.  Australia’s bronze medal time was 3:11.35.

Haru read the disappointment on Hirota and Higashi’s faces, but he didn’t feel the same way.  _Not with who we were up against._   He went to the pool.

Rin was breathing hard, looking up at him with his cap and goggles in one hand. 

Haru reached down.

Rin didn’t let go, even after he was up on the pool deck.  “Haru—”  His chest heaved with breath, a stunned look on his face.  “I heard you.”

Haru blinked.  “You did?”

Wet arms slid around his shoulders, Rin standing close.  “But you never…”

Heat gathered in Haru’s cheeks.  “I wanted to.”

Rin’s eyes went liquid with emotion.  Then he was hugging Haru tight, still catching his breath, his face buried in Haru’s neck.

 _Rin_ …  Haru drew his arms around the one he loved.  “It meant that much to you?”

“Yeah,” Rin whispered, his voice thick. 

Haru stroked Rin’s hair, unable to tell if the tremor he felt was him or Rin or both…  He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of Rin and chlorine as he fell in love all over again, despite cowbells and cameras and Team USA celebrating another gold medal win beside them.

-x-

“You guys hugged out there for like _ten hours_.”  Takara was ahead of them, tray in hand, in line for the Asian food station.  “I thought the officials would have to break you up.”

Haru had one hand on his tray and one hand interlaced with Rin’s.  Rin’s face was deep pink and had been for a while. 

“Everyone figured you were crying over missing the podium, but I knew better.”

“Haha, you and me both, Takara-kun!”  Mikoshiba was behind them, grinning with a thumbs-up.

“Ugh, six more days of you two _glowing_ in front of the cameras.”  Takara glared at them.  “I’m gonna get sunburned.”

“Ozawa-senpai has plenty of sunscreen,” Haru said.

“Could you be at least a little disappointed?  Your teammates have been sulking since we left the pool.”

“We only had one race,” Hirota said, the two of them in line behind Mikoshiba.

“Yeah, just the one…”  Higashi sounded distracted.

Haru glanced back.  Higashi was exchanging looks with a group of women seated at a table nearby.  A couple of them were waving at him.

Higashi elbowed Hirota.  “ _Oi_.  Wave back.”

“Huh?”  Hirota lifted his head and immediately blushed.  Realization lit in his eyes.  “ _Oh_.  We’re _done._ ”  An awkward grin spread across his face as he balanced his tray and waved.

Rin gave an irritated sigh as he and Haru turned back to the line.  “They seem fine.”

Haru felt a twinge of jealousy.  He wasn’t about to trade any of his upcoming races with Rin, but…  _Six more days of cold showers_.  He met Rin’s gaze and knew his lover was thinking the same thing.

They got to the hot food section, Haru putting his tray on the counter as he eyed steaming rice and grilled fish.  “ _Arroz e peixe, por favor._ ”

Rin cleared his throat lightly.

Haru sighed.  “ _E salada._ ”

They filled their trays, stopped by the beverage case for milk and juice, and joined Takara and Mikoshiba at one of the long tables.

“Haru.”  Rin leaned close after they’d seated themselves.

“Hm?”  Haru paused in the midst of opening his milk carton.

“Guess whose flight lands before we wake up tomorrow.”

Haru’s head popped up, his breath catching.


	32. 200 meter Olympic free, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...And here's the other half of what was supposed to be one chapter.

* * *

Monday, August 8th, 2016

* * *

Haru stirred awake when Rin shifted, warm skin moving beneath his cheek.  “Nn.”  He dragged an arm across Rin’s waist, in an attempt to quell the squirming.  “My pillow.”

Rin stilled with a huff.  “Your head’s heavy.”

“It’s a normal weight.”

“My shoulder’s falling asleep.”

“ _Nn_ …”  Haru reluctantly twisted away, leaving Rin’s embrace for cold sheets.  He only opened his eyes a crack, glaring at his lover.

Rin chuckled, rolling up onto an elbow, the blankets catching on his hip.  “You’re making that face?”  Rin grinned at him.  “After I let you drool on me.”

“I did not.”  Though the tacky spot on Rin’s chest said otherwise.  Haru’s cheeks heated.  “I was really comfortable,” he mumbled.

Rin’s eyes brightened.  He leaned in, Haru welcoming the soft good morning kiss and Rin’s fingers carding through his hair.

“…Did you sleep?” Haru asked when they parted.

Rin nodded.  He did look rested.  “Better than I thought I would.  But then, you’re here.”

“Rin…”  Haru whispered the name, covering Rin’s hand with his own.

Rin laced their fingers together.  “Their plane was on time.  Customs went fine.  Makoto said they met up with Natsumaya-san.”

“Coach Maekawa’s?” 

Rin nodded.  “Yeah.  Apparently she came in on the same flight.”

_I guess coaches don’t get to break curfew to meet loved ones either._

“Natsumaya-san got them pointed in the right direction with transportation and everything.  Just a bit ago, Gou texted that they’d gotten to the place where they’re staying and met their hosts.  She said they’d try to make it to Barra by eleven-thirty.”

Haru inhaled.  “What time is it now?”

Rin kissed the tip of his nose.  “Ten-thirty.”

Haru pushed himself up, dislodging Rin.  “Why didn’t you wake me sooner?”  He threw back the covers, getting out of bed.

“Well, I _tried_ , but _someone_ got upset every time I moved.”

 _Nm.  I was comfortable._   Haru headed into the bathroom to wash up.

With no heats this morning, he only bothered with square legs, saving the hassle of his tech suit for tonight.  Between the two of them, they got Rin into his leg skins in record time.  After throwing on their warmups, they were out the door with the Mikoshiba brothers at precisely eleven o’clock.  They still ate breakfast for the sake of Rin’s racing, but didn’t linger at the dining hall, heading out to the transportation mall immediately afterward.  The day was misty with low clouds and a steady breeze.

“You four are heading out awfully early.”  Coach Maekawa found them waiting for the bus.  She pushed back the sleeve of her red _sakura_ warmup jacket to check her watch.

“It’s after eleven,” Haru said.

“We’re gonna see Mika-nee!”  Momo was on his brother’s back, juice box in hand.  Both of them wore team T-shirts and shorts.  “And Gou-san.  And Gou-san’s mom.  And Yamazaki-senpai.  And Makoto-senpai—”

“We get it, Momotarou-kun.”  Takara appeared, flicking loose black hair over her shoulder as she joined them at the curb.  She matched Coach Maekawa in red _sakura_ warmups with black pants and carried her gear bag.  The rest of her usual entourage was absent, but then it was a light afternoon—heats for the women’s 200m free, men’s 200m fly, and women’s 200IM, only.

Maekawa folded her arms, glancing at Rin and Takara in turn.  “You two are on a schedule this morning.  Don’t forget it.”

“Hai,” they said in unison and bowed.  They came up glaring mildly at each other and Haru smiled to himself, having karaoke flashbacks.

The six of them boarded the first available bus to the Olympic Park.  Haru’s phone buzzed in his pocket the moment he sat down.

 _[Wow,]_ Makoto wrote, _[I thought it would be crowded, but this is incredible.  There’re so many people here!]_

Haru clutched his phone, peering over the seatbacks towards the front of the bus where athletes and staff were still loading.  _Can’t we go yet?_

“They’re in line to get in,” Rin said, leaning over to show Haru a picture on his phone.  The selfie was Gou and Rin’s mom grinning at the camera in Team Japan T-shirts and baseball caps.  In the background, Haru just caught a glimpse of sandy-colored hair.

Haru’s lungs emptied in a huff as he sat back against his seat.

Rin chuckled, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it.  “We’ll be there soon.”

 _Nn._   When the bus finally started to move, it _felt_ like the longest five kilometers of his life.  Well, second longest.  The switch-backed drive into Sierra Nevada, that starry morning he was meeting Rin—those last ten minutes were the longest of his life.

As soon as the bus passed the broadcast center, Haru started scanning the line, even though it wasn’t likely he’d spot anyone in the crowd at this distance.  They got dropped off at the usual spot.

“Gou says they’re inside already.”  Rin slipped his phone back into his pocket.  “By the Coca Cola stand in front of the Velodrome.”

Haru inhaled.  “Did you—?”

“Yeah.”  Rin draped an arm around his shoulders.  “I said we’d meet them there.”

Behind them in the athletes’ security line, Momo was hopping from foot-to-foot, trying to see over the crowds.  “Nii-chan, I can’t see.”

“I’m not carrying you all the way there,” Mikoshiba said.  “You should’ve asked Sada-kun.”

“Mnnnn.”  The kid pouted.

Security checks felt extra thorough this morning.  Once they were through—

“Kotone!”  Natsumaya was waiting just on the other side of the gate in stylish Team Japan gear, her black hair pulled back into a ponytail and sunglasses perched atop her head. 

“Mizuki!”  Coach Maekawa left them, the two women embracing with a tight hug and tender touches followed by a kiss.

Haru and the others snuck away while their coach was occupied, though Mikoshiba had to drag his brother from the scene.

The velodrome loomed ahead of them on the left with the Olympic Rings and landscaping in front.  Haru picked out the red Coca Cola tent near a tall light post—

“Mika-kun!”  Mikoshiba picked up the pace, waving.

_No fair, you’re taller._

“Sei-nii!”  Haru could hear Mikan’s voice, but he couldn’t yet see her—

“Mika-nee-chan!”  Momo squirmed through the crowd with his brother.

Haru gripped Rin’s hand as they followed the Mikoshiba brothers through a gap in the crowd.

“Onii-chan!!”  “Rin!” 

Rin pulled away as the two red-headed women barreled into him, knocking him back a step.

“Haru-chan!”

Haru lifted his gaze…and Makoto was _there_ , smiling with a slight tilt of his head that sent sandy-colored hair across his brow.  He wore jeans with a Team Japan polo shirt and Haru couldn’t _move_ , looking at his best friend, his heart full in his chest, his throat warm and eyes starting to burn.

“Haruka, you’re in the way.”  Takara gently shoved him forward, breaking into a run as soon as she got around him.  “Sousuke!”

Haru managed to walk a few steps.  _Makoto…_ his lips formed the name, but no sound came out.

Makoto met him there, Haru looping his arms around his best friend, inhaling the familiar scent that reminded him of the shore and the fresh green leaves of spring turning into summer.

Makoto returned the hug.  When they parted, Haru brushed a hand across his eyes quickly, gathering himself with a breath.  Makoto’s eyes were just as moist.

“You look good, Haru,” Makoto said.  “Even better than on TV.  The last couple months have been good to you.”

“Thanks,” Haru said.  “You look…”  He studied Makoto briefly, noting the dark circles beneath his eyes and the faint weariness in his stance.  “…tired.” 

Makoto chuckled.  “Well, we were traveling for like thirty hours—”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Makoto’s eyes widened briefly.  His face softened.  “Me too.”

“Haruka-nii-san!” 

Haru turned as Gou came over in her Team Japan T-shirt and black leggings, with a white _JAPAN_ baseball cap on her head, sunglasses perched on top.  Her long red ponytail bounced against her shoulder.

“Is it OK if I…?”

“Ah.”  Haru accepted a quick hug from her and from Rin’s mom right after.  The two women were dressed identically, though Matsuoka Miyako wore heeled sandals instead of flats like her daughter.

“Oh, Haruka, you look well.”  She touched his cheeks and it didn’t bother him.  “I’ll tell your parents.  Your mother especially made me promise to tell her exactly how you were getting along.”

Haru nodded as she let go.  “Thanks, Auntie Miya.”

Rin had made the rounds, sharing brief hugs with Sousuke and Makoto before coming back to Haru’s side.  Takara had cemented herself to Sousuke’s left arm by the looks of it; he wore a polo like Makoto’s with designer black pants and carried a drawstring bag. 

Haru dipped his head in greeting.  “Yamazaki.”

“Nanase.”  Sousuke’s expression lacked the sharp edges Haru was used seeing directed his way.

The Mikoshiba siblings appeared—each brother with an arm around Mikan in the center.  Her polo shirt was slim cut over dark gray capris. 

“Nanase, I had to leave your _saba_ at the condo because I found out security would try to confiscate it.”  Mikan frowned.  “But I promise I’ll get it to you later.”

“That’s fine.  Thanks, Mikan.  I appreciate the trouble.”

“Hey, no worries!”  She grinned.

“Gou-san!!”  Momo did a flying leap from his sister’s side, arms outstretched.

Rin grabbed a handful of the kid’s T-shirt.  “Calm down, Momo.”

Gou side-stepped Momo’s advance with a forced chuckle.  “Hey, Momotarou-kun...”

Haru watched as Gou and Mikoshiba’s gazes met, both of them blushing instantly and hastily looking away.  The others noticed and went quiet, eyeing the pair.

Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “So, uh…  You gonna hug him or what?”  He nudged his sister’s shoulder with an elbow.

Gou went bright pink and didn’t answer. 

Mikoshiba’s face turned the same color as his hair.  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Ah, haha…  Uh…”

“You can do it later when we’re not looking,” Miyako said, patting her daughter’s arm.

“Mom!”  Gou’s blush darkened.

The conversation left a satisfied smirk on Rin’s face.  Haru gave his lover a look.  _Rin, we talked about this yesterday._

Rin exhaled, composing himself.  “The flights were OK?” he asked his mom.

“Well, they were _long_ ,” Miyako said with a sigh.  “These trips were so much easier to do when your dad and I were in our twenties—”

“—Mom.”  Rin’s voice was soft.  “How did you…?”

Miyako met her son’s gaze.  She tucked a bit of plum-colored hair behind her ear, beneath her white Team Japan baseball cap.  “I started back in April—as soon as you made the team—putting aside what I could.”  Her brow knit together.  “I didn’t tell you because…I knew it wasn’t going to be enough.  I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

She paused, her eyes starting to gleam.  “But.”  Miyako reached into her shoulder bag, pulling out a worn, cream-colored envelope in clear cellophane.  “I found that framed picture I sent you—the one from twelve years ago—packed away with some of your dad’s things.  This was with it.”  She turned the envelope over—

In carefully inked characters, it read:  _Rin’s Olympic fund._

Rin went utterly still.  His gaze was fixed on the handwriting.

“Your dad never told me—”  Miyako’s voice broke softly.  “Or maybe he did and I forgot—it was a long time ago.  Either way…”  She waved a hand, smiling though liquid welled in her eyes.  “There was enough inside for three plane tickets.”

Haru barely breathed.  _Rin…_

Rin’s hands were trembling as he reached out, tentatively accepting the old envelope.

Miyako sniffed hard and wiped at her cheeks.  “The Mikoshibas figured out the accommodations and one of your dad’s old friends called out of the blue with the event tickets…”  More tears streaked down her face, her voice falling to a whisper.  “Rin, I couldn’t have made this happen.  Everyone, including your dad _—_ ”

She didn’t finish the sentence because Rin engulfed her in a hug, his face crumpled with tears.  Miyako leaned into her son’s arms, her shoulders shaking with a quiet sob as she clutched handfuls of his warmup jacket.  Gou, crying silently beside them, moved towards her family and got pulled into the embrace.  The three of them stood in a little huddle, clinging to one another.

Haru looked on, a warm ache in his chest and his eyes stinging on behalf of the one he loved.  The last few months had been dotted with storms and precious miracles—each moment, despite difficulty and pain, came with growth, change, and healing.  Rin needed this; his family needed this.  Haru’s heart swelled with thankfulness, even pierced by a fraction of the loss Rin was reliving, of promises made and broken, and prayers answered in odd ways and timing. 

It was a couple minutes before the Matsuoka family drew apart.  Rin’s mom dug a packet of tissues out of her purse, passing them around.

Rin wiped his eyes and turned.  Haru managed to keep his feet as Rin crashed into him, arms enveloping his body and Rin’s face pressed against his shoulder.  He closed his eyes, feeling Rin’s uneven breaths as he returned the hug and gently stroked Rin’s hair.  Rin exhaled heavily, the tension gradually leaving his limbs.

“Haru…”

“Hm?”

“…Am I really crying in front of the Velodrome?”

Haru turned his face towards Rin’s, his fingers sifting through strands of scarlet hair at the nape of his lover’s neck.  “It could be worse, Rin.” 

The sound Rin made was a teary half-chuckle against Haru’s shoulder.

-x-

Once everyone’s tears had dried, they made their way towards the Aquatic Centre.  Sousuke and Takara were ahead, walking together.  Takara looked to be chattering non-stop; the way Sousuke was smiling, he didn’t seem to mind.  Behind them, Mikan had her little brother in a headlock, dragging him along.  Momo was pretending not to like it.  Haru walked beside Rin, their fingers laced together.  Rin’s other arm was draped loosely around his mother’s shoulder, the two talking quietly.  Miyako still clutched a folded tissue, but she shared a few laughs with her son, too.  Rin’s smile was beautiful to Haru.

“Makoto,” Haru said, looking up at his best friend.

“Oh, hm?”  Makoto stifled a yawn, smiling at him tiredly.

Haru pressed his lips, searching for the words.  _Rin’s mom talked about three plane tickets, not four…_

Makoto’s gaze softened.  “Your parents bought my plane tickets.  I don’t think they wanted to say anything, but they felt bad about not being able to come.”

 _Plane tickets and coffee_.  Haru smiled to himself.  “They’re supporting me in their own way.”  _I’m not upset._  

“Haru, I’m glad.”  Makoto looked really happy, despite the fatigue.  But then, he’d been there the whole time. 

 _You knew what it did to me—my dad moving away, even when I said I was fine; that I didn’t need anything but water._ “I’m sorry I made you worry about me.”  _All these years._

Makoto’s eyes widened momentarily, then gleamed as he smiled. 

No words were necessary.

They didn’t lose Gou and Mikoshiba en route to the Aquatic Centre; Haru only glanced back once.  The two trailed the rest of the group by several steps.  Gou was still crying a bit and Mikoshiba had an arm around her shoulders.  She leaned against him as they walked.  Haru was glad she was comforted too…and that Rin was too distracted to look.

As they approached the entrance, Haru felt the air change.  Looking for the source of the brewing storm clouds, his gaze found Takara.  She’d gone rigid with one hand curled on Sousuke’s arm.  The object of her displeasure was waving from beside the walkway into the stadium, in _sakura_ warmups and black pants.

“Hey, Yamazaki.”  Kawamura straightened from the rail, the breeze combing through his light brown hair.  He was as unfazed by Takara staring daggers at him as he always was; Haru had never seen the guy get riled.

“Kawamura.”  Sousuke extracted himself from Takara long enough to hug his friend.  “Hey, good luck out there.”

“Thanks.”  Kawamura’s expression was fond.  “You look…good.” 

Sousuke scrubbed a hand through his hair and smiled.  “Thanks.  I’m in a good place.”

Rin was watching the exchange at Haru’s side, but there was no tension in their clasped hands.  If anything, Rin seemed to relax.

Takara, on the other hand, was silently fuming.  She spun away from the men, red-faced, though Haru caught a glimpse of the jealousy burning in her eyes as she strode across the walkway into the arena.

Sousuke’s gaze followed her as she left, though he didn’t call out or go after her. 

Kawamura rubbed the back of his neck, sighing.  “I should’ve waited.  You said things were going well.”

“They are,” Sousuke said.  “She’s fine.”

Haru had seen similar scenes play out often over the last year.  He knew from experience that Takara would work out her fury in the pool.  It wasn’t wise to intervene when she was upset; even Mikoshiba had learned that lesson by now.

“Sakamoto-senpai…”  Makoto’s brow creased with concern.

It got a little awkward after that, until Momo suddenly broke away from his sister’s grasp.

“Sada-nee!”

Sada and Otani arrived in Team Japan T-shirts and black warmup pants.  Otani hastened out of the way as Momo barreled into Sada.

“Hey Squeaker.”  Sada mussed the kid’s hair.

“Hee.”  Momo grinned, dragging Sada over to his sister.  “Sada-nee, meet Mika-nee.”

“So you’re the honorary older sister I keep hearing about,” Mikan said, the two women shaking hands.

“That’d be me.  He goes on non-stop about you, too,” Sada said.

Momo grabbed his sisters’ arms.  “Yay!  Let’s go get ice cream!”

Rin exhaled softly, squeezing Haru’s hand before he let go.  “I guess I’d better…”

“I can come in with you,” Haru said.

But Rin shook his head.  “Nah, stay here.” 

 _With Makoto._   Haru pressed his lips, searching his lover’s gaze.  He could tell Rin wasn’t OK, but…  It was one of those times when Rin was silently pleading for normalcy, to not let his stuff get in the way of the limited time Haru had with Makoto.  Haru knew how important it was to Rin.  He relented, even though it didn’t necessarily work that way anymore.  _When you’re hurting, I can’t ignore it, Rin._

Haru nodded.  “I’ll come in before you have to go to call.”

Gratitude flashed through Rin’s eyes.  He hugged his mom, accepting well-wishes from the others before he headed across the walkway with Kawamura, into the arena.

“We have an hour…” Makoto said.

Haru glanced around at the others.  Mikoshiba and Gou had wandered away—Mikoshiba with his hands in his pockets, Gou with her hands clasped behind her, carrying her purse.  They were talking in low voices, moving in the general direction of the Olympic rings.

“I might just…go in early.”  Rin’s mom smiled, but there was a tumult of emotions in her eyes.  Her face was still slightly red from her tears.  “Everyone has their tickets, so you can join me when you’re ready.” 

Haru and Makoto dipped their heads, waving as she went off.

“Yamazaki-senpai!”  Momo bounced over.  “Come get ice cream with us!”

“Ice cream, huh?” Sousuke murmured.

Momo peered up at him.  “Do you eat ice cream?”

Sousuke smiled down at the kid.  “On occasion.”

Mikan joined Haru and Makoto.  “Seems like we’re headed down there.”  She gestured with a tilt of her head towards the food plaza—vendors and the golden arches lining a turf field full of red picnic tables.  “You guys coming, or…?”

“I just ate,” Haru said.

“I’m OK.  If we hang out, are you good…?”  Makoto trailed off, his gaze flicking towards Sousuke.

Mikan smiled.  “Yeah.  We’ll be fine.  See you guys in a bit.”  She waved, moving off with the others.

Haru looked up at his best friend.  “If you’re tired, do you want to…?”

“If I sit down, I might fall asleep,” Makoto said.  “I don’t mind walking a little.”

“OK.”

They continued south past the Aquatic Centre, towards _Rio 2016 Fest_ where large screens streamed events and a band played live music.  Beyond that, a boardwalk led out to a tall fence that looked out over the _Lagoa de Jacarepaguá_ and the buildings on the opposite side of the water.  It was hazy and cooler by the water, the crowds thinner.  The breeze sifted pleasantly through Haru’s hair and he was content just to _be_.  Home was more than 18,000 kilometers away, but Makoto’s presence made it feel close at hand.  Two and a half months of homesickness ebbed from his heart like a retreating tide.

“My parents said they caught Ran and Ren sleeping in front of the TV yesterday morning.  They were watching your guys’ heats in the two hundred free and the relay.”  Makoto’s brow furrowed.  “Wait, I mean this morning.  It’s still Monday.”  The creases deepened.  “But it’s Tuesday now at home…  Ahh.”  Makoto scratched his head, laughing sheepishly.  “I’m all screwed up.”

Haru smiled.  “It’ll be hard at first, but you’ll get used to it.”

Makoto’s face softened.  They stopped against the rail, looking out through a metal fence at the water down below.  “Haru, I—”

A feminine squeal interrupted.  Haru glanced over, noting a trio of girls in Rio 2016 T-shirts, toting cameras and small backpacks.  They made a beeline for him, the center girl—with long brown hair in a braid—leading.

“ _You’re Haruka Nanase, from Team Japan_ ,” she said in accented English.

Haru dipped his head as he turned to them.  “ _Yes_.”

The girls clutched each other and made more high-pitched noises.  “ _Can we have your autograph?  And take a picture?_ ”

“ _Sure_.”

The girls presented booklets and pens. 

Haru signed in English:  _Haruka Nanase, Team Japan 2016._   He thought for a second, then added: _I only swim free._

Makoto got roped into taking the pictures, Haru standing in the center with the girls close on either side.  He smiled and made a peace sign as Makoto snapped a few frames.

“ _Thank you so much!  Good luck tonight in the finals!_ ”

Haru nodded.  “ _Thank you_.”

The girls scampered off, chattering excitedly.

“You’re used to it, Haru,” Makoto said as they once more turned toward the water.

Haru shrugged.  “I don’t get it.  I’ve barely swam anything so far.”

Makoto smiled.  “You don’t watch the news.  You and Rin get mentioned a lot these days, even outside Japan.  International competitions aside, those swimsuit ads you did are pretty big.”

_I just did that so I could see Rin again._

“No one would ever guess that any of it’s hard for you.”

A breeze ruffled their clothes.  Haru watched the ripples that swept across the water’s surface.  “It’s easier when I’m with Rin.”  _Like we both knew from the start._

“Yeah, he’s a big part of it.  But it’s more than that.  It’s you, too, Haru.”

“Hm?”  Haru glanced up at his friend.

The look on Makoto’s face was warm…wistful.  “I didn’t think you could change so much in a few short months.  I’ve never seen you this happy, or this relaxed.”

Haru frowned.  _I’m not different._

“It’s not a bad thing.  Far from it.  I just mean…this suits you.  Your dream.”

 _My dream_.  Haru laid a hand on the rail, the wood cool beneath his palm.  He didn’t really understand what Makoto was getting at.  His dream of swimming with Rin hadn’t changed.  _I don’t feel…different._   _Like I’m somebody else._   _I’m just…me._

“Ran and Ren keep complaining about how weird the house feels with us being away at college.  Your place, too.  They miss us, you know?”

Haru nodded, not looking away from the water.

“They’ve had a good time the last few days.  The whole town is celebrating you guys in the Olympics.  Every day’s been like a festival, with everyone coming together.”  Makoto leaned a hip against the railing.  “Ran and Ren especially took a liking to Mikoshiba’s sister.  She’s great with kids.  I didn’t know until recently that she’s planning on studying pediatrics.  Did you know?”

“Mikoshiba’s mentioned it before.”

“I think it’ll be a good field for her.  Hard, though.  I mean, I can’t imagine all the years of schooling needed to become a physician.  I’ve got my hands full just with the coaching program and a little bit of first aid training.”

Haru smiled.  “Makoto?”

“Hm?”

“You’re rambling because you’re tired.”

Makoto paused.  “I am, aren’t I?”  He chuckled wearily.  “Want me to stop?”

Haru shook his head.  “Tell me about school.”

Makoto hummed, his voice falling in soothing, familiar tones on Haru’s ears.  “Remember I told you about that one tough professor?  Well, for finals…”

-x-

Haru made sure Makoto and the others found their seats before he headed downstairs to the warm up pool.  The heats for the women’s 200 meter free were just getting underway.  Takara would be swimming in heat six of six.

Only Nakagawa and Kawamura were around when Haru arrived at their team area. 

“Looking for Matsuoka?” Nakagawa asked as she tucked bits of blond hair under her swim cap.

He nodded.

“He was taking a break.”  Kawamura was working with one of the trainers, stretching out his right shoulder.  “We’re not due at call for another…”  He glanced at the clock.  “Ten minutes.”

“Thanks.”  Haru’s gaze caught on the warm up pool as he turned, but the water didn’t hold his attention right now.

He tried the Athletes’ Lounge first, but Rin wasn’t there.  The Aquatic Centre didn’t have an accessible roof, so Haru went to the locker room instead.

The place wasn’t crowded this afternoon with only four heats of the 200 meter butterfly and no other men’s events.  Haru found Rin in the last row of lockers, sitting on the wooden bench that ran down the center of the aisle.  Rin was in his leg skins and unzipped warmup jacket, with his towel draped over his head.  He was hunched forward slightly; in his hands was the cellophane-covered envelope with his dad’s handwriting.

Rin straightened as Haru approached, his expression sober, eyes dry.  “Haru.”

Haru sat down next to Rin on the bench, but in the opposite direction, so it was easier to face each other.  “Hey.”  He slid close enough that their hips touched and stretched an arm around Rin’s waist.  “Everyone’s upstairs.  Including Yamazaki.”

“Thanks.”  Rin exhaled with relief.  His gaze fell back to the envelope laid across his hands.

Haru waited without speaking, stroking Rin’s waist lightly with his thumb.

“…During Athens he promised.”  Rin’s voice was a toneless whisper.  “That if I made it to the Olympics, he’d be here.  I guess…”  His fingers tightened on the cellophane.  “Since then, he…”  Rin’s lungs emptied in a rush.  He leaned over, into Haru.

Haru circled his lover’s shoulders with both arms.  “Even back then, he knew…”  _He believed in you._

Rin didn’t answer.  A couple minutes ticked by wordlessly.  Other swimmers came and went, locker doors slammed, but none of it touched them.

At length, Rin drew back.  He lifted a hand to Haru’s face and Haru let his eyelids fall as their lips met.  The kiss was tender—the kind that lingered—and his skin burned beneath Rin’s fingertips.

“Haru, thanks,” Rin murmured when they parted.  His arms wrapped Haru’s waist, squeezing tightly.

“Ah.”  Haru threaded a hand into Rin’s hair.  “Love you.”

Rin’s smile made his heart flutter.  “Love you too.”

-x-

Haru joined his teammates in the stands just as the fifth heat of the women’s 200 meter free got underway.  Akamine was swimming it for Japan.  Haru took the aisle seat next to Captain Ikehara, noting how starry-eyed and distracted Mikoshiba looked.  Momo, beside his brother, appeared to be in the middle of a sugar crash.  The kid was leaning on Sada’s shoulder, waving his Japanese flag tiredly.  Makoto and the others had seats in a different section, closer to the turn side of the pool.

“Congratulations, Captain Ikehara,” Haru said.

“Hey, thanks.”  Ikehara smiled, reclining in his _sakura_ warmup jacket and black pants.  “You guys had a tough field last night in the relay.  You did well.”

Haru dipped his head. 

“Good job with the interviews, too.”

“Ah.”  Haru pushed his head lower.  “I’m slowly getting better, thanks to you.”

Ikehara chuckled, nudging his shoulder.  “You’re holding your own, Nanase.”

Down below, thunderous cheering greeted the lead swimmer from the United States as she hit the finish just over 1:55.  Australia took second in the heat.  Akamine finished fifth, slightly under 1:58.  The women cleared the pool as the cowbell rattled loudly from the Team USA section.

The sixth heat came out next.  Takara was in lane two on the far side of the pool from where Haru was sitting, but even from his seat, he could feel the waves of fury pouring off of her.  She adjusted her block and shoved her warmups into the bin, glaring at the water.

“Did something happen?” Ikehara asked quietly.

“It’s…complicated,” Haru said, hoping there hadn’t been any drama in the call room.

“Sakamoto-senpai!”  “Takara!” 

Takara pretended not to hear either Makoto or Sousuke.

“Taka-chan!”  In the front row of the Team Japan section, Ozawa and Koda yelled with their hands cupped around their mouths.

Haru drew a deep breath.  “Takara!” 

Mikoshiba surfaced from his stupor to cheer as well. 

Takara didn’t acknowledge anyone as she approached the block at the four-pulse of the whistle.  She pressed her goggles into place, climbing up and setting her feet for the start.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

She came off the block fast at the start, diving and coming up to a swift first fifty, punishing the water with rapid strokes of free.  The leader—from Sweden—was in lane four, but Takara was right behind her at the first turn.  She slipped to fourth at the half, but clawed her way back to third during the third fifty and kept it through her sprint to the wall.  Takara finished at 1:56.49—a new personal best.  She tugged her goggles down to her throat and exited the pool by the blocks.

“Sakamoto!”  Team Japan cheered, Takara giving them a wave as she left the pool deck.  The fire in her eyes was all pride and satisfaction, now.

Haru sat back, relieved.

The overall standings flashed up on the screen—Takara qualifying for the semi-finals in sixth place while Akamine just fell short.  Poolside, Rio officials reset things for the next race.

 _“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the heats for the men’s two hundred meter butterfly.”_   The English was followed by Portuguese.

The first heat walked out, consisting of swimmers from New Zealand, India, Sweden, Slovakia, and Israel.  Rin was in the second heat; Kawamura in the fourth.  Their main competitors were Damien Andrews, in the third heat, and the top seed Hungarian in the fourth.  The swimmer from Sweden won the first heat.  As they cleared the pool, Haru held his breath, waiting for Rin to appear.

The second heat competitors came out in line, Rin between the South African swimmer who had lane four and the Chinese swimmer in lane six.  He waved, giving the camera and the crowd a broad smile as he headed for the lane five block.

“Rin!”  “Rin-senpai!”  “Matsuoka-kun!!”

Haru waited until after the other members of the team had cheered.  He leaned forward, cupping his hands around his mouth.  “Rin!”

Rin paused in the midst of stripping off his warmup jacket to find him with an especially lethal grin.  Haru’s cheeks heated, his fingers curling as he lowered them to his lap.  A few of their teammates _ooooh_ ’ed, others swatting at his shoulders.  Haru didn’t mind.  Secretly, he enjoyed his team’s good-natured hazing in acknowledgement of their relationship.  He wasn’t embarrassed at all.

Poolside, Rin pressed his goggles into place, snapping the strap as he climbed onto the block.  It was rare for Rin to forgo a second swim cap; either he was that confident or wanted to feel close to his dad.  Hopefully both.

Down the line, the swimmers set their feet and bent for the start.

_“Take your marks.”_

The buzzer sounded, all eight swimmers diving in streamlined arcs.  Haru’s mouth went dry as Rin sliced into the water, dolphin-kicked, and came up all wet and glistening, water sluicing off his body with each undulation of fly…

Haru exhaled slowly, doing his best to focus on the _race_.  Rin was right up with the leader from South Africa in lane four, a sliver behind at the first open turn.  The two battled for the lead to the hundred meter mark, a half-second faster than the rest of the heat.  Rin made his move coming out of the second turn, taking first place briefly, but the swimmer from South Africa was slightly faster.  The two finished within a tenth of a second, at 1:55.47 and 1:55.56.  The screen above the pool showed a closeup of lane four, Rin and the winner shaking hands over the line and catching their breath.  Rin’s eyes sparkled with excitement, Haru loving every second the camera caught until it went to replays.

He shifted his gaze back to the pool where Rin was climbing out and waving as the team cheered for him.  Haru gripped the fabric of his warmup pants at the knees, irritated with the distance and time separating him from Rin’s arms.  Barcelona was so much better—where he could run from the pool right into Rin’s embrace.

Rin aimed a sly smile at him as he headed for the exit, as if he knew exactly what Haru was thinking.  He ducked out of sight and Haru looked longingly at the stairway leading out, smoothing the crumpled fabric against his knees.

The crowd roared as the swimmers came out for heat three—and there was the cowbell again.  Damien Andrews waved for the audience as he walked out to the block on lane four.  In the race that followed, he went sub-1:55 effortlessly, not even breathing that hard when he climbed out of the pool.  But with a seed time below 1:53—and a world record time well under that—this race must’ve been a relaxing warm up.  Damien smiled for pictures on his way out, as dazzling as usual.

Kawamura had lane five in the fourth and final heat.  The arena thundered with cheering as the swimmers walked out—Brazilians taking lanes six and seven.  The overall top seed in lane four was from Hungary.  Once the stadium finally quieted enough for the start, the swimmers hit the water for a fast two hundred meters.  The Hungarian finished at 1:54.62 and Kawamura went 1:54.77, both of them coming in under Andrews’ time.  When the overall ranking flashed up on the board, Rin had qualified for the semi-finals in seventh place.

After the men cleared the pool, Rio staff moved in, stringing up the backstroke flags for the women’s two hundred meter IM, next.

Haru looked towards the stairs again, impatient for Rin to appear.  _How long can it take in the Mixed Zone?_   Though he knew if Rin chose to shower and warm down, it would probably be another twenty minutes before Rin was done.  Haru was tempted to make up some excuse so he could sneak downstairs…but sitting next to Captain Ikehara made that difficult, especially with team members racing in the upcoming heats.

Haru sat forward with a sigh.

On his left, Captain Ikehara cleared his throat lightly, elbowing Haru in the arm.  “You turned around too soon, Nanase.”

Haru whirled, shooting to his feet as Rin came down the concrete steps and tackled him in a hug.  Rin’s warmups and hair were still damp, he smelled gloriously like chlorine and his arms felt heavenly.  Haru soaked up the brilliance of Rin’s smile and the warmth in scarlet eyes.  They just _had_ to kiss after that, Rin initiating and Haru kissing his lover back, despite their teammates teasing them with catcalls and yells of “Down in front!” and “Hey, we’re on TV!”

It was sweet seconds before Rin let him go, Haru’s heart beating fast as he looked into Rin’s eyes.

“Nice race,” Haru whispered.

Rin laughed.  “Thanks.”  He pressed their foreheads together.  “Love you.”

“Love _you_.”

Rin’s smiled broadened.  “I’m gonna go warm down.  See you after?”

Haru nodded.  “Yeah.”  He kissed Rin again, then drew back, watching as his lover took the steps two at a time and vanished into the corridor. 

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the heats of the women’s two hundred meter individual medley._ ”

Haru reclaimed his seat…and noticed his teammates staring at him.  “What?”

“Oh, uh, nothing!”  Otani’s face was as red as a tomato as she swiveled forward in her seat.

Koda, in the front row, had an arm draped across Ozawa’s shoulders.  “What happens in the Village…”

“…stays in the Village,” Ozawa said.  “Everything else…”

“…is fair game.”

_Huh?_

Captain Ikehara coughed into his fist.  “They, uh, weren’t kidding about the cameras, Nanase-kun.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  His phone buzzed in his pocket.

The text was from Nagisa.  _[Ooh, like Barcelona, but Spicy.]_

Haru’s cheeks burned.  _Oops._

-x-

After Takara and Nakagawa both qualified for the semi-finals in the 200m IM, Haru followed his teammates from the stands.  He shoved his hands into his pockets, bypassing the crowds streaming from the stadium as he headed down the back stairwell to the warm up pool.

He found Rin leaning against the wall near the door, dried off and dressed, with his gear bag slung over one shoulder as he tapped out a text on his phone.

Haru approached cautiously.  Twenty minutes was a long time to wonder how embarrassed or upset Rin might be about their accidental international broadcast debut.  _It was just a kiss, but…_

Rin glanced up as he neared.  His cheeks were stained pink, his expression chagrined. 

_We probably match._

But instead of closing up, Rin just smiled sheepishly.  “What are the chances, huh?”

Haru exhaled with relief, leaning into Rin.  “Yeah,” he whispered against his lover’s shoulder.

Their fingers were interlaced as they left the arena, crossing the walkway under cloudy skies. 

“Did your parents say anything?” Rin asked.

Haru shook his head.  “But I don’t know if they were watching or not.  Since I wasn’t in the heats.”

“We’ll probably make the morning news.”

“Our three seconds of fame.” 

They shared a look and laughed.

“What about your mom?” Haru asked.  “Did she…?”

“Not yet.”  Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Guess we’ll see.”

They headed off to their meeting location, near the Olympic rings.

“Onii-chan!!”  Gou ran over, leaping into her brother’s arms.  “Congratulations!”

“Thanks, Gou.”  Rin set his sister back on her feet.  

Miyako and Sousuke joined them. 

“Oh, Rin.”  Miyako hugged her son tightly.  “You looked so great out there!”

Rin’s voice softened.  “Thanks, Mom.”

Haru looked around, trying to peer through the crowd.  “Where’s…?”

“Makoto-senpai and Mika-senpai headed back to the condo to get your care package.”  Gou pushed a bit of scarlet hair out of her face.  “They’ll meet us outside the gate.”

“We wanted to have lunch with everyone, but…”  Miyako smiled tiredly.  “I think for today we just want to go pass out for a while, until tonight.”

“Ah.”  Haru nodded.  Given how fatigued Makoto had been earlier, it sounded like a good plan.

“How far away is it?” Rin asked.  “We’ll make sure you get back OK.”

“Oh, honey.”  Miyako touched Rin’s face gently.  “It’s only about a fifteen minute walk.  It’s not bad at all.  The Mikoshibas found a nice setup.  Our hosts are a lovely Japanese-Brazilian couple; they’re taking very good care of us.”

Rin’s expression relaxed.  “Still, the sooner we get you back, the sooner you can get to bed.  You shouldn’t push too hard after all the traveling.”

Haru’s heart warmed as he watched Rin care for his family.  Bonds and closeness like this… _I hope it’ll be like this with our kids, someday._

Miyako’s eyes widened beneath the brim of her white Japan baseball cap, then gleamed with emotion.  She didn’t say a word, just nodded.

Rin slipped an arm around his mother’s shoulders, holding her close.

“I’ll…catch up, OK?” Gou said.  “Sousuke-kun and I are meeting people, but we’ll be right behind you after that.”

Rin’s brow creased as he glanced between his sister and his best friend.  In the end, he sighed.  “You’ll stay together?”

“Of course!”

“We’ll be fine, Rin,” Sousuke said.

Rin pressed his lips, his gaze finding Haru.

Haru shrugged.  “They can always call us if they need something.”

Rin didn’t look pleased with the arrangement, but he relented.  “Alright, let’s go.”

With a wave, they left Gou and Sousuke behind and headed north through the park.  Past the entrance gate, they crossed the street near the bus station, walking west for a long block and then turning northeast along a narrow road.  High-rise condominiums lined the street on their right beyond clusters of overhead wiring.  On their left was greenery with a stream of cloudy water paralleling the road.  Haru only looked at the water for a moment before averting his gaze.  Instead, he looked at the wildflowers on the embankment, violet and white, flourishing despite the polluted waterway.

“It’s just up here on the right,” Rin’s mom said, pointing at one of the high-rises.

As they got closer, Haru spotted two familiar figures heading out from the gate.

“Haru!”  Makoto waved.  Beside him, Mikan was carrying a paper shopping bag.

They met up on the sidewalk, in the shade of a different building.

Haru’s gaze lasered in on colorful marker work on the bag Mikan held—dolphins, sharks, Olympic medals, and swimming pools.  “Is that…?”

“With the compliments of the Tachibana twins,” Mikan said, handing the bag over.

“They were super into making it,” Makoto said.

Haru accepted the bag reverently, taking in the artwork.  “It’s really good.”

Makoto chuckled.  “You like anything that’s colorful, Haru-chan.”

“Especially when there’s _saba_ involved,” Rin said.

Haru cradled the package to his chest.  “Thanks, Mikan.”  He glanced at Makoto.  “Please tell Ran and Ren—”

Makoto smiled.  “I will.  I’ll text them—” he interrupted himself with a yawn “—as soon as I can see straight again.”

They said a quick round of goodbyes, Miyako leaving with Makoto and Mikan, the three of them headed up the street.

Haru and Rin waved.

“Is it heavy?” Rin asked as they started back towards the Olympic Park.

Haru shook his head.  “It’s only one case.”

Rin peered into the bag.  “You’re gonna go through all that before we leave?”

“Maybe.”  Haru shrugged.  “I’ll share with you, Rin.”

Rin smiled, taking his hand again. 

-x-

After a quick dip in the pool at the base of their tower—since Haru hadn’t gotten any water time at the Aquatic Centre, they ate lunch and were the first ones back to their shared apartment.  In the shower, they touched up on their shaving, then tumbled into bed together with damp skin and hair.

“Rin?” Haru murmured against his lover’s lips, his lashes fluttering at the sweet sensations wrought by cool fingers combing through his hair.

“Hm?”

“Am I…different?”  He settled on top, his knees to either side of Rin’s hips.

Rin broke the kiss, looking up at him.  “Different from…?”

“I don’t know.  Different from me?”

Rin’s brow knit in puzzlement.  “What’s that supposed to mean?  You’re you.”

Haru frowned.  “Makoto says I’ve changed a lot.  That I’m happy and relaxed…”

Rin cocked a brow.  “Emotional states don’t define you.  You know that.”   A chagrined smile curved Rin’s lips.  “I’d be a thousand different people if that were true.”

Haru hummed lightly.  Leaning forward, he tucked his cheek against Rin’s neck, closing his eyes as Rin continued soft caresses through his hair.

Rin’s larynx vibrated against Haru’s nose when he spoke.  “What about it bothers you?  Not the ‘happy and relaxed’ part, I hope.”

“No.”  Haru exhaled, pondering for a moment.  “I guess…if people at home didn’t recognize me anymore.  If I was that…different.”

“Haru…”  Rin’s lips brushed his brow.  “You think swimming in more pools, in more places, changes you?  Or posing for pictures or doing interviews or speaking other languages?  It’s all just _more_.  Come on, aren’t you the one always trying to tell me that I’m not only what I can do?”

 _I like doing these things with you.  I didn’t think I would._ Maybe that was it.  “I was…wrong about some things.  You’re not the only one who thought I could do things I didn’t think I could.”

“Hmph.  We’re all wrong sometimes.”  Rin’s hand stroked warmly down the base of his neck.  “You’re always allowed to change what you think about things.  When you know more…understand more…  I think…”  Rin’s hand fell away.  “You’re incredible.  The way you keep growing and showing me the way forward, even though I thought _I_ was the one leading you into this world.  But I learn so much from you, every day.”

Haru’s breath caught.  He lifted his head, gazing down into the affection and admiration in Rin’s eyes.  “Rin…”

Rin caught his face in both hands.  “It’s endless, right?  The ocean depths.  No one knows everything that’s down there.  Maybe you’re just discovering more parts of yourself, that were always there, but hidden…waiting to be revealed with a bit of light.”

Haru’s fingers curled against Rin’s shoulders.  His mind was filled with dark seawater and sparks of light scattering across the surface, brilliant explosions in a rainbow of colors that illuminated the world beneath.  _Like fireworks_.  He kissed Rin hard, pressing his lover into the bed.  _It was you, Rin.  It’s always been you._

They were both out of breath when they parted, their skin heating, Rin’s eyes slightly darkened as their gazes met.

“I guess you agree?” Rin whispered.

Haru nodded.  He kissed Rin again, tangling his fingers into his lover’s hair.

“We just took a shower…”

“It wasn’t very cold,” Haru murmured.

“Mm.”  Rin smiled as he rolled them, Haru’s breath leaving his lungs in a pleasant rush as his back hit the sheets.  “You’re right.”

-x-

At 9pm, they were back at the Aquatic Centre for warm ups, Haru’s skin prickling for water he could do more than float in.  Makoto had texted a little bit ago, saying they’d be there at 10pm; everyone was too groggy and jetlagged to come early.

In their team area beside the warm up pool, Haru undressed, ensuring the cord tie on his jammers was tucked in before grabbing his cap and goggles from his bag.  He shared a look with Rin, the two of them racing towards the blocks—

“Oi!  Nanase-kun!”

 _Nn._   Haru stopped short of the pool, pressing his lips at the sound of Kasai’s voice.  _My wrist is fine._

“I know, I know,” she said as she came over and reached for his arm.  “But humor me.  This’ll be quick.”

Haru exhaled, enduring the brief exam.

“Everything feels good.”

_Like I said._

Kasai smiled as she let go.  “I’ll have ice for you after warm down.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Thanks.”

Rin was waiting for him with one foot on the block for lane seven.  For once, the wrist exam hadn’t fazed him.  “Ready?”

Haru donned his goggles.  “Yeah, get in the pool already.”

There was an eager spark in Rin’s eyes before he faced forward and dove.  Haru climbed onto the block after, waiting the required interval before he slid into the water behind Rin.

Warm ups passed quickly, Coach Fujino giving them a few final pointers before they headed to first call.  It was a full evening for Team Japan with competitors in every event:  the women’s 200m free semi-finals, followed by finals in the men’s 200m free, 100m backstroke for both women and men, and the women’s 100m breaststroke.  Semi-finals for the men’s 200m butterfly and women’s 200m IM would complete the evening.

Takara was already in final call for her race in the first semifinal for the women’s 200m free.  Haru and Rin dressed again after inspection, joining their competitors in the first call room. 

“ _Haruka, Rin_.”  Ethan McInnes shook hands with both of them.  “ _Ty decided that if your PDA gets on the big screen, the points are worth double, just so you know_.”

“ _I don’t understand the game_ ,” Haru said.  _We control how much PDA happens so I don’t get what we’re competing for._

Rin chuckled, draping an arm around his shoulders.  “ _I told you it’s just an excuse to get drunk later_.”

“ _Pretty much_ ,” Ethan said.

Besides the three of them, the other finalists were from China, Germany, South Africa, and the United States.  Damien Andrews was off by himself in his parka with his headphones on and eyes closed, looking serene.

“ _Should we expect more final call room drama?_ ” Rin asked quietly.

Ethan shook his head.  “ _It’s a final.  The rest of us might as well be flies buzzing around.  We’re not worth his time or attention._ ”

“Hm.”  Rin turned away, moving closer to Haru, his chest warm against Haru’s back. 

Haru smiled at Rin using his shoulder for a chin rest.  After the overall program came up on the screen, the heat-list flashed up for Takara’s race.  She would be swimming in lane three.  Throughout warm ups, she’d kept to herself, working with Coach Maekawa.  But she hadn’t seemed upset anymore, at least.

Haru’s phone buzzed in his pocket at the same time as Rin’s.

Rin got his phone out first.  “It’s from Gou.”  He held it out so they could both see the screen.

_[We’re here!  And I forgot to show you guys the banner!  Gomen, I wanted it to be a surprise, but we weren’t here early enough.]_

There was a photo attached, Rin turning his phone sideways so they could see better.

Haru’s eyes widened at two meters’ worth of fabric stretched taut between Makoto and Sousuke.  _Ganbare!_ was written in large characters in the center with their names on the left side and the Mikoshiba brothers’ on the right.  The background was full of small colorful drawings, like Iwatobi-chan, the Samezuka mascot, and a red shark and blue dolphin holding fins and waving Japanese flags with Olympic medals draped around their necks. 

“It’s us,” Haru whispered.

Rin nodded, inhaling like he couldn’t manage a word.

_[Pretty much everyone in the whole town signed it.  You guys can see it later, OK?]_

There was no way to read the individual messages on the tiny phone screen, but the banner was covered with them in all kinds of colors. 

Warmth spread through Haru’s chest.  _Everyone_.

Rin leaned their heads together—swim cap to swim cap—still unable to speak.

On screen, the first swimmers were introduced, walking out to the pool as their names were called.

“Wanna sit?” Haru asked.

“…Yeah,” Rin said, his voice breaking slightly.

They took seats where they could see, scooting the chairs close enough together for Rin to drape against Haru’s back with his arms locked around Haru’s shoulders.  Haru kissed Rin’s forearm and interlaced their fingers.

Takara took fourth in her heat, coming in at 1:56.41.  She looked pleased with her time as the camera caught her face in passing.

As the second heat of the women’s semi-finals headed out to the blocks by name, Haru and the other men moved to final call.  It was a faster heat, as usual, the swimmer from Sweden and the top seed American both going sub-1:55.  But Takara’s time was good enough for an eighth-place qual; she’d move on to the finals Tuesday night.

“Haru.”  Rin tugged on his arm, drawing him away from the screen.

Haru arched a brow as Rin pulled him into the back half of the final call room, behind the floor-to-ceiling Rio 2016 partitions and away from the cameras and other competitors.

“Rin—?”  He was cut off by a firm kiss, startled heat rising in his cheeks.  His heart was pounding when Rin drew back, Haru relearning this thing called breathing as he met the intensity in Rin’s eyes.

“You’ve always been faster than me in the two hundred free,” Rin said, his arms curled around Haru’s shoulders.  “The only time I bested you was because of your wrist.  But now that’s healed and you’re tapered, rested, streamlined—”

_Oh, this is my pep talk._

“—swimming with the best in the world and this is your only race tonight.  So…”  Rin smiled slyly.  “Swim the way you want to, Haru.”

Haru inhaled.  _You want me to swim…free?_   Usually, it was ‘ _show me something good out there_ ,’ or ‘ _give me something to aim for_ ,’ both things that he gladly did for Rin when it suited him.  This was different.  Haru swallowed.  “The way _I_ want to?”

Rin nodded, his smile broadening into a grin.  “Yeah.”

Haru searched his lover’s gaze, but there wasn’t any lingering concern or worry in Rin’s eyes.  He felt something give way inside him, some weight or burden he must’ve been carrying since the injury, when he imagined this very moment evaporating because of his wrist.  That fear hadn’t happened.  They were _here_ , together, and _everything_ was still possible.

Haru pressed forward, curling a hand around the back of Rin’s neck as he kissed his beloved shark on the mouth.  Inside, in place of the burden, he felt something new stirring—sparks that kindled into flame, sizzling as they hit the water in his heart.  There was a time for the gentle cascade of _sakura_ petals in the ripples of the water’s surface, but tonight wasn’t that.  _This_ fire was theirs, too, and Haru made sure Rin could feel it.

They broke apart when air became imperative, Haru running his thumb along the ridge of Rin’s jaw.  “Then…I’m gonna light it up out there.”

Rin’s eyes flared wide, his breath trailing between parted lips.  “Like a…?”

“Firework.”  _I’ll show you, Rin._

Rin’s grin flashed teeth, his eyes ablaze with the same thrill Haru felt inside.  Rin pulled him close, kissing him again—

“ _Senhor Matsuoka, Senhor Nanase.  Por favor!_ ”  The official’s voice was strained, as if it wasn’t the first time he’d called their names.

Haru and Rin separated, rounding the blue partition and taking their places in opposite lines. 

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the championship final for the men’s two hundred meter freestyle._ ”

The first two swimmers stepped into the doorway. 

“ _In lane eight, representing South Africa_ …”  “ _In lane one, representing the United States_ …”  “ _In lane seven, representing Germany…”_

Haru locked eyes with Rin, just before Rin prepared to head out.  His lover grinned back at him.

_“In lane two, representing Japan…  Rin Matsuoka.”_

Haru moved into the doorway; he could hear his teammates and their loved ones cheering.  “Matsuoka!”  “Rin!!”  “Onii-chan!!”

_“In lane six, representing Japan…  Haruka Nanase.”_

He walked out, waving as he crossed Rin’s path towards his lane.  “Nanase-kun!”  “Haruka!!”  “Haru-chan!!”

 _You had to slip the -chan in there, Makoto?_   Haru waved towards their seats, just catching a glimpse of Gou and Makoto on their feet, the banner stretched between them.  They were up and to the left, near the turn side of the pool.

“Haruka-nii-san!!”

_“In lane three, representing Australia…  Ethan McInnes.”_

Haru adjusted his start block as the crowd cheered for Ethan.  He stripped down to his jammers, stowing his warmups into the provided bin.

 _“In lane five, representing the People’s Republic of China…”_   _“In lane four, representing the United States of America…  Damien Andrews.”_

Haru could’ve used earplugs for the roar of the audience when Andrews walked out.  Whoever was wailing on the cowbell sounded like it was coming from right behind him.  But he didn’t care.  Haru pressed his goggles into place, sneaking a glance at Rin as he approached the block.

Rin, lithe in black leg skins, was looking at him, too.

The four-pulse pierced the crowd noise and Haru stepped up to the start, placing one foot on the rough surface of the block.  Fifty meters of glossy water, still as glass, waited in the pool in front of him.

The long whistle sounded, Haru climbing up and setting his feet.  He grasped the block, his conversation with Rin still echoing in his heart.

“ _Take your marks_.”

At the buzzer, Haru sprung forward, raking his hands through the air and pointing with his fingertips.  He plunged beneath the surface of the water, starting his dolphin kicks—

During his best races, he saw sights he’d never seen before.  Usually, it was his friends, or the memory of _sakura_ petals in the Iwatobi pool, scattered by the rain.  Tonight was different.  It was dark underwater, the bottom of the pool shimmering with stars.  Haru broke through, going to stroke—  Each dip of his hand into the water was a burst of color and light—fireworks that illuminated the depths in red, blue, green, yellow, and purple starbursts.  Haru was only aware of the swimmer on his right—the Chinese competitor who’d gone sub-1:45 in the semi’s—for the first fifty.  From the moment his feet connected with the wall out of the first turn, he was sprinting—racing Rin in a pool under fireworks—a pool of ever expanding dreams. 

 _I only wanted to swim free.  Then you showed up._ His world had grown in leaps and surges ever since that time, in relays, Sydney, Tokyo, Team Japan…to this moment, on the way to someday and forever, to love and family and everything they would still have ahead of them when racing ended.

Haru flew freely through two more turns, slapping the wall left-handed at the finish.  All races ended.  _But since you came into my life, there’s always been something more, something new, something next—_

Haru raked off his cap and goggles, his lungs and muscles burning as he drew one breath after another.  The stadium was thundering; it was all just noise and cowbell, until—

“Haru!!” 

Haru twisted away from the wall as Rin slipped over each lane line to get to him…and something was wrong because Rin was already crying—  Or laughing?

Rin’s arms crashed around his shoulders, their faces close and Rin _was_ laughing.  “You didn’t even look, did you?”

 _Look at…?_   _Oh._   Haru shifted in Rin’s arms, lifting his gaze to the board.

_LN 2 – JPN – MATSUOKA Rin – 1:45.03 – 5_

_LN 3 – AUS – McINNES Ethan – 1:44.59 – 3_

_LN 4 – USA – ANDREWS Damien – 1:44.42 – 1_

_LN 6 – JPN – NANASE Haruka – 1:44.42 – 1_

Huh?  Haru stared wide-eyed at the time and standing.  That couldn’t possibly be right.

“Dummy!”  Rin shook him gently, water splashing over their shoulders.  “What’s that face?  You _said_ …”

 _Yeah, but…_   “I thought, maybe bronze or something—”  Haru tore his gaze from the board.  “Rin, what do I do?”

Rin laughed, tears and water sliding down his cheeks.  “I love you.”  He kissed Haru on the mouth.  “Even when you’re being ridiculous.”

Then Rin was hugging him and Haru looked around, seeing himself on screen and several Japanese flags waved aloft in the stands.  Reality slowly sank in, with Rin’s tears falling against his neck and the swimmers in either lane reaching across to shake his hand. 

 _“Haruka!”_   Ethan swam over with a huge grin.  _“Well done, mate!”_

 _“Thank you…”_   He didn’t understand why the Australian captain was so happy. 

As other finalists started to clear the pool, Ethan leaned in, his voice lowered.  _“I think you got someone’s attention.”_

Haru glanced over, straight into the bewildered expression on Damien Andrews’ face.  He dipped his head in a nod—as much as he could with Rin still hugging him.  Andrews’ eyes changed, but it was only the briefest flicker as he turned away, then he was dazzling the arena with another one of his famous smiles and pumping a fist into the air.  The cheering—and cowbell—increased tenfold.

Ethan swam towards the side, chuckling.  “ _See you out there_.”

“Ah.”  Haru touched Rin’s shoulder.  “Rin, I think they want us to get out.”

Rin drew back, his face messy with tears.  “OK.”

They climbed out by lane nine, their teammates on their feet in the stands, waving their Japanese flags high overhead.  “Nanase!!”  “Nanase-kun!!”

“Matsuoka, hold it together!”  That was Mikoshiba, giving them two thumbs-up and a big grin.

Rin sighed, his arm draped across Haru’s shoulders.

Behind the blocks, Damien Andrews was still playing to the crowd, but Haru didn’t see any point in lingering.  He drew Rin with him towards the officials for their ID checks.

The Mixed Zone was a madhouse with reporters crowding the barrier and calling his name; most of them weren’t even Japanese.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”  Coach Akagi, in white _sakura_ warmups and black pants, was waiting for them.  His earring glinted under the overhead lights and he carried a couple of towels. 

Haru gladly edged away from the press towards his coach and accepted a towel.

“There’s time for a couple questions each,” Akagi said.  “Then it’s back to the pool and I’ll explain what’s next.”

 _Next…_   Haru’s stomach did an uneasy flip.

“Don’t worry, Nanase-kun.  We’ll walk you through it.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Hai.”

Coach Akagi hovered nearby as they faced the army of reporters.

“ _Mr. Nanase, how does it feel to win your first Olympic gold?_ ”  The question was in English, the brown-haired reporter holding out a slim recording device.

Haru considered his response and grammar carefully.  “ _It feels good_.”  He paused, his cheeks heating slightly.  “ _Thank you for asking_.”

“ _Did you ever think you would tie Damien Andrews in an Olympic race?_ ”

Haru shook his head.  “ _No_.”

“ _Can you tell us what was going through your mind as you pulled ahead during the last fifty meters?_ ”

 _Pulled ahead?_   Haru didn’t even know what his split times were.  “ _I was thinking about_ …”  _Rin._   Haru’s face got hotter.  “… _the water and my dream_.” 

The reporter looked puzzled.  “ _Can you elaborate about the water, Mr. Nanase?_ ”

Haru pressed his lips.  _I only swim free_.  But if he said that, he’d probably have to explain it, too… 

“ _Haru loves to swim_ ,” Rin said, resting a hand on Haru’s right shoulder.  “ _He’s been in and around the water ever since he was a kid.  Our hometown—Iwatobi—is right by the ocean, on the Sea of Japan.  It’s got beautiful beaches.  Every summer, kids swim in the ocean; play on the sand_ …”

 _Rin._   Haru glanced at the one he loved; his heart filled with gratitude. 

“ _It’s a really amazing place_.”  Rin shot him a smile before answering another barrage of questions.

-x-

Coach Akagi walked them to the warm up pool after they reclaimed their things and left the Mixed Zone.  “Matsuoka-kun, you’re due at first call in twenty-five minutes.  Nanase-kun, you have enough time to warm down and get dressed; then we’ll head down for the ceremony and press conference.”

Haru frowned.  “How long will that take?”

Akagi’s gaze was sympathetic.  “Hard to say.”

 _Nn._  Haru glanced down at his hand, clasped tight with Rin’s.  “I don’t want to miss Rin’s race.”

“Haru…”

Haru lifted his gaze, meeting the soft look in Rin’s eyes.

“I know,” Akagi said.  “We’ll try, but don’t get your hopes up.”

Rin squeezed his fingers.  “I’ll be fine,” he said.

 _I know that_.  _But I want to watch you swim._

Rin read his face and smiled.

They stashed their stuff in Japan’s team area, Haru nodding politely to accolades from his teammates and team staff.  He slipped into the water with Rin, gliding across the pool and back in slow laps, sharing a crowded lane with other swimmers.  As his muscles stretched and loosened, it was easy to imagine an indoor pool—like Koutei’s—on a moonlight night, just floating with Rin while stray _sakura_ petals clung to the glass ceiling.

It was too soon when Coach Akagi called him out of the water.  Haru climbed out, pulling off his cap and goggles, shaking the water from his hair.  There was a small pit of dread forming in his stomach.  Sure, he’d endured medal ceremonies and interviews without Rin before, but…

“Haru, wait.”

He turned just as Rin engulfed him in a damp hug.

“It’s OK.”  Rin kissed his cheek.  “You got this.”

Haru nodded slowly.

“ _Tch_.”  Rin drew back, his arms loose over Haru’s shoulders as he flicked his eyes dramatically skyward.  “Enjoy it a little, huh?  First in the world.  No one was fast enough to beat you today.”

 _Mn._ “I’d rather be with you,” Haru murmured.

Rin laughed quietly.  “You’ll see me later.”  He lowered his voice to a whisper, leaning in and kissing Haru on the lips.  “In the pool, at dinner…in bed…”

The third kiss lingered, Haru’s lips tingling pleasantly when they parted.

Rin’s eyes danced with mirth.  “Aren’t you sick of me yet?”

Haru shook his head.

Rin’s smile broadened into a grin.  “Well, the sooner you go get your medal, the sooner you can come back.”

Haru perked up.  _That’s true._

Rin hugged him again, chuckling.  “Go on then, _meu amor._ ”

“OK.”

Rin pulled away, heading back to the pool.

Haru inhaled.  “Rin—”

Rin glanced back.

“Good luck.”

Rin’s eyes glittered at him.  “Like I need _luck_ , Haru.  I just saw fireworks.”

Haru’s breath caught, warmth blossoming in his chest as he watched his lover leave.

In the locker room, Haru showered and dried his hair.  He donned his warmups and put his bracelet back on, running his fingertips over the glossy shark and dolphin figures woven into the leather.  Even just having the familiar weight on his wrist helped him calm down.

Coach Akagi met him in the hall outside.  “We’re this way.”  He took Haru through a corridor on the ground floor that paralleled the pool.

Midway down, there was a set of barriers with the athletes on one side and fans on the other.  Haru stayed close to the wall as they went by.

“ _Oi, Haruka!_ ”

He stopped at the sound of Ethan’s voice, seeing the Australian captain near the barrier in his green and gold warmups.  On the opposite side was a trio in sunny T-shirts with stripes of green glitter on their cheekbones—a woman and two little girls. 

Ethan waved him over.  “ _Let me introduce you_.”

Haru left Akagi’s side to approach the barrier. 

“ _Haruka, this is Ava, my wife_.”

“ _Haruka, congratulations!_ ”  Ava McInnes shook his hand with a firm grip.  “ _It’s great to meet you.  My husband really enjoys swimming with you._ ”

“… _Ah_.”  Haru dipped his head.  “ _Nice to meet you_.”

“ _And my girls_.”  Ethan reached across, mussing the blond hair of each of his daughters in turn.  “ _This here’s Zoe and this is Evie._ ”

Evie McInnes was the youngest, staring up at Haru with pale green eyes.  “ _My dad says you’re fast._ ”

Ethan chuckled.  “ _And he’s about to get the gold medal to prove it, love_.”

Haru fell quiet at Ethan’s words.  He couldn’t ignore what Damien Andrews said yesterday—about Ethan always winning silver and never a gold medal.  _This time it’s not even silver._   Still, Ethan didn’t seem upset.  _I don’t get it._

After another minute, a woman in a bright yellow athletic jacket came over, collecting Ethan.  Haru stepped away, letting the Australian captain hug his family and send them off.

Then Ethan led the way, Haru falling in beside.

“ _Is your family here, Haruka?_ ”

Haru shook his head.  “ _They’re home in Japan_.”

“ _Ah.  Have you talked to them yet?_ ”

 _Oh_.  Haru touched his pocket, his phone snug inside.

Ethan smiled.  “ _We’ll have a few minutes to wait.  You should give them a call_.”

He nodded.  “ _I will_.”

Off the turn side of the pool, there was a small room filled with Rio staff and a few chairs.  Staff members wore beige dresses or suits, bustling about the room with preparations, instructions flying back and forth in Portuguese. 

“You can sit down if you want,” Coach Akagi said.

“Thanks.”  Haru moved to the edge of the room, away from most of the activity, taking out his phone as he sat down.  His screen was full of text messages, missed calls, and voicemail notifications.  The texts were from Makoto, Gou, Gou’s mom, and his teammates.  Haru selected voicemail, lifting the phone to his ear.

“ _Ha-Haru-chan_ …”  Nagisa sounded like he was crying.

“ _Haruka-senpai, that was…  That was so beautiful_.”  Then Rei was crying too.  The message went on for thirty more seconds of them being hysterical and incoherent.

Haru saved the message and selected the next one.

“ _Haruka_ …”  His mother’s voice was soft and teary.  “ _Oh, darling_ …”

“ _Son, you were…just…  That race was_ …”

“ _We’re so proud of you.  I wish we were there, Haruka_ …”

“ _You were amazing.  Incredible.  I’ve never_ …” his dad trailed off again.

Haru listened to the rest of the message, his breath slowly leaving his lungs, a mixture of emotions gathering in his chest.  He’d never before heard his parents so overcome.  At the same time, _I don’t want you to feel bad for not being here.  I didn’t ask.  You even sent Makoto…_

Haru lowered the phone, closing his eyes briefly.  _I just swim because I like it.  Why does it have to be a big deal?_

There was a new influx of voices, Haru glancing behind him as Damien Andrews walked into the room in his dark gray parka, accompanied by a man in Team USA gear.  Andrews took a seat on the other side of the room.

Two male officials in blue blazers entered after, talking rapidly in Portuguese.  They immediately pulled the Team USA assistant and Coach Akagi into a conversation.  Eventually, Akagi turned, beckoning Haru over at the same time Andrews got up.

“ _Congratulations to both of you_ ,” the first official said.  “ _It’s a rare situation, tying for gold.  We’ve been discussing how to handle certain aspects of the medal presentation.”_

The second official nodded, holding a clipboard.  “ _As for who will be announced first—and therefore receive the first gold medal, we’ll flip a coin if that’s agreeable?_ ”

“ _Fine with me_ ,” Andrews said, smiling.

Haru shrugged.  “ _OK_.”

The first official produced a shiny 25 _centavos_ coin.  “ _Then, Senhor Andrews, if you would call it?_ ”

The coin flipped into the air, flashing as it caught the light.

“ _Heads_ ,” Andrews said.

_Tails…like mermaids have._

_“It’s heads.  Therefore, Senhor Andrews, we will announce you first.”_

“ _Thank you_.”  The second official jotted notes on his clipboard.  “ _We’ll call you back in a moment_.”

“ _Sounds good_.”  Andrews went to sit down, not so much as glancing in Haru’s direction.

Haru returned to his seat.  There was a sudden roar of cheering, partly muffled by the walls.  He glanced at the door leading out to the pool deck.

Coach Akagi came over, bending down towards his ear.  “The men’s hundred meter backstroke.  Momotarou-kun just won bronze.”

“Oh.”  Haru smiled to himself, imagining the orange-haired kid splashing around the pool in celebration.  Mikoshiba and Mikan were probably yelling their heads off.

Haru glanced up.  “What about Konishi-san?”

“Ah.”  Akagi paused for a beat.  “Not quite.  She made sixth.”

Haru nodded, feeling for his friend.  But he knew their coaches and teammates would take good care of her.

After another minute, the door to the room opened again.  Akagi touched his shoulder.  “Nanase-kun.”

Haru got to his feet at the urgency in his coach’s voice.  He turned as two men in formal black suits entered the room.  Both were older men with salt and pepper hair and glasses; Haru’s eyes widened.  He recognized them instantly from his time at the National Training Center this spring.  The man wearing the red necktie was the JOC president and Japan’s IOC member.  With him, in a navy-blue tie, was the director of the Japanese Swimming Federation and member of the FINA Bureau.

Haru followed Coach Akagi, the two of them bowing low from the waist in front of the Japanese officials.

“President, Director, we are honored by your presence,” Akagi said.

“Please, it is our privilege to present the awards for this event,” the JOC president said.  “Especially given such happy circumstances.”

Haru straightened hesitantly, lifting his gaze.

Both men were smiling at him.

“Well done, Nanase-kun,” the JASF director said. 

Haru bowed again, working to find his voice.  “ _Hai_.”

Soon, Rio staff members had them line up in front of the doorway to the pool.  Andrews shed his parka, coming over in his navy-blue Team USA warmups with red sleeves.  In the lineup, Ethan was first, Andrews in the middle, and Haru behind.  Coach Akagi gave him a nod.  Haru let out a breath as the door was opened for them, cheering and music coming into the room. 

Within seconds, the music faded away, the announcer coming on first in French.  “ _Mesdames et Messieurs, la cérémonie de victoire_ —”

The line began to move, additional staff members and the Japanese officials making up the end of the procession.

Haru walked out into the stadium’s bright lights as the announcement was repeated in English.

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, the victory ceremony for the Rio 2016 Olympic games, men’s two hundred freestyle.  Please welcome the medalists_.” 

The cheering increased tenfold, the noise buffeting Haru’s eardrums as he followed his competitors behind the podium, in front of a blue wall emblazoned with the Olympic rings.

“ _Haru!_ ”

He heard Makoto’s voice clearly—up and to the right.  Haru smiled, giving his best friend a small wave.  Makoto was holding one end of the Iwatobi banner and his face looked wet.  Rin’s mom was passing out more tissues while Gou waved wildly.

The announcement was given in Portuguese as well, then the Japanese officials were introduced.

Haru looked across the pool, imagining he could see Rin on the other side, though, by now…  _You might already be at first call._

“ _Le médaillé de bronze, représentant l'Australie_ …”  The noise of the crowd surged as the introduction was repeated in English and Portuguese.  “… _Ethan McInnes!_ ”

Ethan stepped onto the podium as his name was called, waving both hands high.  Music started as he received his bronze medal and Rio emblem from the officials, nodding respectfully as he shook their hands.  Then he posed for the camera, holding his medal.

Haru held his breath as attention shifted to the center of the podium, to him and the swimmer on his left.  His stomach did a nervous flip as the pronouncement began in French and was repeated in English and Portuguese.

“ _The gold medalists, representing the United States of America and Japan_ …  _Damien Andrews and Haruka Nanase!_ ”

He barely heard his own name in the roar of the crowd as he stepped up to the top of the podium with his competitor.  Most of the applause and adoration was for the infamous Andrews, undoubtedly, though Haru didn’t care.  He knew the people he loved and his team were supporting him in their own way.

The JOC president approached, taking the first gleaming medal from the tray held by a Rio staff member.  Andrews ducked to receive his medal, shaking the official’s hand.

It was Haru’s turn next.  He moved forward, bowing low as the JOC president slipped the lanyard into place over his head.  It was weighty—heavier than any medal he’d won thus far.  Haru shook the president’s hand, stunned afresh by the smile the man gave him and the quiet pride behind wire rims.  Haru dipped his head in another bow as he tried to gather himself.

The Rio emblems were given by the JASF director.  Haru was smiling by the time he shook the director’s hand, repeating his formal bows.  He straightened as the official left, taking a moment to study the colorful, handheld sculpture that reminded him of dance and movement.  _This is beautiful._

A throat cleared beside him, Haru lifting his gaze from the sculpture to the camera crew in front of them.  He glanced aside and held his medal like Andrews was doing, smiling for a few photos.

The music faded.

_“Mesdames et Messieurs, l'hymne du Japon.”  “Ladies and gentlemen, the anthem of Japan.”  “Senhoras e senhores, o hino do Japão.”_

Haru lowered his medal, going still as the first strains of _Kimi Ga Yo_ filled the stadium.  It hit him all at once, with warmth welling up in his chest and a sudden thickness in his throat—this was the first time he’d heard the anthem of his own country played.  Haru managed to breathe, pressing his lips in an attempt to hold himself together.  He wouldn’t describe himself as especially patriotic, but Japan was his _furusato—_ his homeland—and he’d been gone from it for the longest time in his whole life. 

Haru blinked back faint traces of moisture as, behind the start blocks across the pool, the Japanese flag was raised in the center position, above the United States flag and with the Australian flag to the right.  It was the symbol he’d swam under for months now—the symbol of his goals and dreams with Rin.  But, tonight, it was so much more.  Had it never occurred to him before now that he stood here representing a nation, an entire people?  This moment wasn’t only his—it also belonged to his teammates, his parents, his coaches and JOC staff—everyone who had selected him, supported him, sponsored him to be here—and to the Japanese people around the world who were cheering him on…  _I’m still swimming for a team.  It’s just…a lot bigger than I thought it was._

The anthem faded and Haru sniffed hard, wiping his eyes quickly.  The _Star-Spangled Banner_ played second, a loud cheer rising as the song finished. 

Then, the photographer waved Ethan onto the top of the podium as well, the three of them standing together and posing with their medals.  A slow victory lap around the pool followed, though Haru would’ve preferred to swim it rather than walk it…

They approached the first block of media on the large blue steps beyond lane zero. 

“Nanase-kun!”  A group of Japanese fans were up against the railing, waving at him and holding out a flag.

Ethan leaned close.  “ _Better go get it, mate_.”

_“Huh?”_

_“The flag.”_

_“Oh.”_   Haru briefly ducked away from the line, going to the rail and accepting the flag they lowered into his hands.  “Thank you.”

“Nanase.”  Haseda—his Málaga photographer—was among those nearby.  She pantomimed, Haru picking it up on the second gesture. 

 _Like this?_   He spread out the flag, draping it across his shoulders.

Haseda smiled her approval and lifted her camera.

Haru waved to his supporters and rejoined the medalists. 

Every three seconds, they had to stop and pose for another picture.  It felt like _forever_ before they made it around by the start side of the pool.  Cowbell and Team USA aside, Team Japan got loud as he approached and—

“Haru!”

 _Rin_.  Haru forgot how to breathe when he saw Rin’s face—Rin who was squeezing through the crowd from Team Japan’s seats to the next section over.  Haru saw where he was headed—the rail behind the second group of photographers.  He didn’t stop to think if it was OK or not, or if he’d get in trouble.  As Rin squeezed up to the rail, Haru climbed the photographer’s steps, gripping the Japanese flag.

“Haru…”  Rin’s face shone with tears, his arms circling Haru’s shoulders over the railing.

Haru hugged Rin back as best he could without dropping anything.  It was bliss, his heart racing as Rin squeezed him tight.  Haru’s face was damp from Rin’s tears as they drew apart, smiling at each other and not even chancing words.

Haru returned to the pool deck but even then, he couldn’t look away.  Ethan, chuckling, had to pull him onward eventually, the two of them posing for a few photos together as Andrews climbed the steps in a different section to a woman with wavy brown hair and a toddler in her arms.

They had nearly completed the circuit when Haru finally stood in front of his best friend and Rin’s family.  Makoto was all smiles, leaning on Mikan as though overwhelmed.  Gou and her mom held the banner and waved.  Even Sousuke was smiling.

Haru lingered, waving, until Rio staff led them from the pool.

Coach Akagi was waiting back in the room.  “Congratulations again, Nanase-kun.  I’ll hold onto these things for now.  We’re headed to the press room.”

“Ah.”  Haru handed over the Japanese flag and emblem.

The press room was across the hall—a large space filled with white folding chairs, all occupied by reporters, and a front table with a green table skirt and adjustable microphones, with a blue and green Rio 2016 backdrop.

Just inside the doorway, a black-haired man in a suit extended his hand.  There was a JOC pin on his left lapel.

“Nanase-kun, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” the man said in Japanese.  “My name is Paulo Okamoto.  I’ll be assisting with translation.  Please ask me if you have any questions.”

“Ah.”  Haru shook the man’s hand.  “Thank you.”

“I’ll be over here, Nanase-kun,” Coach Akagi said, staying by the door.

There were two white name tents on the front table— _Haruka NANASE_ and _Ethan McINNES_.  Haru took the seat behind his name, Okamoto sitting down on his left.  Ethan took the seat on his right.  Andrews never entered the room; Haru got a glimpse of the guy and his entourage headed past the entrance, down the corridor.

 _Back to the pool and first call and the 200 meter fly…_   Haru pressed his lips as he turned his attention to the reporters in the room.  _Can we get this over with?_

A woman in a blue blazer held a microphone near the front of the room.  “ _Ladies and gentlemen_ ,” she said in English, “ _this is the press conference for the men’s two hundred meter freestyle.  Please welcome gold medalist, Haruka Nanase, representing Japan_.”

Haru dipped his head as the reporters looked at him, some recording with phones or cameras.

“ _This is Mr. Nanase’s first Olympic games, first Olympic medal, and it is the first time in Olympic history Japan has received a medal in this event_.”

Haru blinked.  No one had informed him of that detail…

“ _Please welcome bronze medalist, Ethan McInnes, representing Australia.  This is the third Olympics for Mr. McInnes and his third medal in the two hundred meter freestyle Olympic event_.”

Ethan smiled at the crowd.

“ _First question please_.”

Every reporter in the room raised a hand.  The woman pointed.  “ _Yes?_ ”  A staff member in a sunny Rio polo shirt headed over, handing the man a microphone.

“ _First off, congratulations to you both_ ,” the reporter said.  “ _My question is for Mr. Nanase.  How do you feel about winning the first ever gold medal for Japan in the two hundred meter free?_ ”

Okamoto quietly translated the question to him.

Haru glanced over.  “It’s OK to answer in Japanese?”

“Hai.”  Okamoto nodded.

Haru relaxed a bit, leaning towards the microphone.  “I am glad to represent my country here in Rio.  Winning the gold medal was not my expectation.  I feel very happy to be able to win on behalf of everyone who has supported me to be here.”

Okamoto translated his words seamlessly into English.

“ _Next question, please.  …Yes?_ ”

“ _Mr. Nanase, congratulations.  Can you talk about your inspiration for swimming and how you got started competitively?_ ”

Okamoto’s repeating of the question gave him time to gather his thoughts.

“I love the water.  It’s always been a part of my life.  But it was my best friend, Makoto, who wanted to join the swim club in our hometown growing up.  I didn’t want to at first, but he talked me into it.”  Haru smiled to himself at the memory.  “I didn’t care about times and winning back then, I just wanted to swim as much as possible.”

Haru paused, allowing Okamoto to translate his response before he continued.

“I owe it to Makoto for getting me started and to my friends Nagisa and Rei for helping me rediscover how great it was to swim with a team after a difficult time.  As for…Rin…”  Haru’s hands curled against his knees, beneath the table as his cheeks warmed slightly.  “The reason I’m here now is because of him.  I thought this would be too hard, but he…well…  He showed me I could do it.”

The heat in his face grew as he listened to Okamoto answer in English while the reporters took notes. 

The emcee glanced at him, Haru nodding to indicate he was finished.  “ _Next question_.”

“ _My question is for Mr. McInnes.  Congratulations again.  How does this race compare to other finals you’ve swam, say in Beijing and London?_ ”

Haru sat back, grateful to be out of the spotlight momentarily. 

“ _Well, if you’re asking about the color of the medal, I’d say that part’s obvious_ ,” Ethan said, holding up his bronze medal as a chuckle ran through the room.  “ _You know, it’s a lot of the same faces and a lot of new ones, too.  I’ve shared a good number of podiums with Damien; racing him in the semi’s and finals is pretty familiar at this point.  …But it’s the Olympics and there’s always room for surprises_.”  The Australian captain glanced aside, smiling, as he finished.

Among the reporters, the microphone passed hands.

“ _Mr. Nanase, how do you feel about almost beating Damien Andrews in this event?_ ”

Haru pursed his lips as he considered the question.  “I…don’t know.  It wasn’t my goal or anything I was thinking about…”

Okamoto translated his reply.

Ethan leaned over.  “ _Haruka, did you see the video yet?_ ”

Haru shook his head.

“ _Then you don’t know you were ahead for the final fifty; that Damien caught up to you to tie it up?_ ”

_Huh?_

Ethan reached over, laying a hand on his shoulder and laughing.  “ _Someone get my friend the replay when we’re done here._ ”

“ _Mr. McInnes, could you talk us through the end of the race, from your perspective?_ ”

“ _Certainly_.”  Ethan leaned towards the microphone, folding his arms on top of the table.  “ _That final fifty, I’m breathing to my right, so I see Damien ahead of me with almost every stroke.  And I knew my friend from China in lane five was going to be right up there, too.  We’re all sprinting our hearts out to the wall and Damien’s flying along as fast as I’ve ever seen_.”  Ethan paused, shaking his head and exhaling.  “ _I’m one stroke behind and every time I speed up, he’s still ahead of me.  We hit fifteen meters out and it’s a brutal final push…  And all I can see in my head is another silver medal, another second-place finish…  I just know when I turn and look at the board it’s gonna be the same as always_ —”

Haru gathered his hands in his lap, worrying the bracelet on his wrist as Ethan continued.

“ _But_.”  Ethan grinned.  “ _Then it_ wasn’t _and the look on Haruka’s face was just priceless_.”

Haru’s eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat.

“ _Everyone was stunned, but him most of all.  And it’s easy to get caught up in medals and rankings and what I’d hoped to achieve at this point.  But when I saw Haruka’s reaction, it took me back to the beginning and I remembered what it felt like—when I made the national team for the first time in 2008, when I went to Beijing and won my very first medal_ …”  Ethan turned to him.  “ _Don’t get me wrong, I wish I would’ve beaten you out there.  But I’ll gladly swim with you any day, Haruka_.”

Sudden moisture stung Haru’s eyes and nose.  His hands curled against his pantlegs as he twisted in his chair and made a seated bow to his competitor.  “ _It was…truly a pleasure to swim with you today, Ethan_ ,” he said in English.  “ _Thank you_.”

Ethan got a hand on Haru’s shoulder again, giving him a squeeze that matched the warmth on his face.

Haru sniffed hard, composing himself as he turned back to the room.

_“Mr. McInnes, what can you tell us about rumors you plan to retire after Rio?”_

_“Where’d you hear that?  Ask me again after Rio’s over.  For now, though, all I can say is that Tokyo 2020’s not to be missed.”_

Haru smiled to himself, blinking back another surge of mist in his eyes.

They fielded several more questions before the emcee finally closed the conference. 

Haru exhaled with relief as he got up. 

Ethan, next to him, held out his hand.  _“Now, don’t you go slacking on me, Haruka.  The hundred free’s tomorrow, and the four-by-two hundred relay.”_

Haru nodded, grasping Ethan’s hand firmly as they shook.  _“Yes.  I’m looking forward to it.”_

They were allowed to leave first, Haru thanking his translator before joining up with Coach Akagi by the door. 

“The fly semi’s just finished,” Akagi said as they headed out into the corridor.  “Matsuoka-kun and Kawamura-kun both made the finals.”

Haru smiled.  He wished he could’ve seen the race, but there was no doubt in his mind, based on Rin’s grin earlier.  _What do I need luck for?  I just saw fireworks._

“Ozawa-san and Otani-san made new personal bests in the one hundred breaststroke final.  They finished fourth and fifth.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.

“I’ll drop you off in the Mixed Zone, then I have to go help Mae-chan.  She’s with Momotarou-kun and she asked for reinforcements.”

“You can go,” Haru said.  “I can get back from here.”

Akagi studied his face for a moment, then nodded, handing over the folded Japanese flag and his Rio emblem.  “Thanks.  Coach Fujino should be in the team area.”

Haru stayed close to the wall as he paralleled the pool, heading back towards the locker rooms and the Mixed Zone.

He turned the corner, hearing Japanese.

“Matsuoka-kun, you’ve said several times that swimming in the Olympics has been your dream from a young age.  Can you talk about your inspiration?”

“Well, my dad for sure,” Rin said, Haru’s footsteps slowing as he heard the familiar tenor of Rin’s voice.  “He was a competitive swimmer and the first one to teach me how to swim when I was little.”

Rin and Kawamura were standing by the barrier with the Japanese reporters at the end of the Mixed Zone.  Down the way, nearest the pool, Damien Andrews had a huge crowd of press clamoring for his attention.

“After that, when I was seven…eight years old, Sugiyama-senpai was my hero.  I had his posters on my walls, like a lot of other kids my age.”

Kawamura nodded.  The two faced the press in their tech suits, still wet from the pool, Rin to Kawamura’s left.  No one saw Haru yet.

“But, well…”  Rin paused for a beat.  “Various things happened.  I had an Olympic dream back then, but it wasn’t until later that I could really _see_ it happening.  That was when I met Haru.”

Haru didn’t intend to stop walking, but his legs suddenly wouldn’t move. 

“Here I was, this hotshot little eleven-year-old, fastest in my elementary school swim club, ready to take on the world.”  Rin chuckled.  “It never occurred to me that someone my age could beat me.  I lost the hundred free for the first time in that tournament—to Haru.  I should’ve been upset, but I was just amazed.  Haru’s swimming was incredible—the way he moved through the water, how fast he was without even trying.  I’d never seen anything like it.”  Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Ehhh, I did some dramatic things back then to get his attention, but the short of it is, he’s been my inspiration ever since then.  I wanted to swim like he did.”

 _Dramatic things_.  Haru smiled.  _You mean annoying, irritating…_

“Things are different now.  Dreams change and come into focus better as you get older.  We have our individual styles and I beat him a fair bit of the time, these days.”

Haru arched a brow.

“But I still aim for him, every time I swim.  Haru’ll be the first to tell you I’m pushy and bossy and that I’m always trying to get him to train harder and be as amazing as I know he can be.  It’s selfish of me and I own that, but I also just…want the world to see what I see.  His love for swimming, his love for the water and the life it gives us…  It’d be a shame to hide that.”

Haru’s breath came out slowly.  He gripped the emblem and flag in his left hand.

“That said, I’m here for me, too.  Of course, I want to win and bring home medals and all that.  But if you ask about what inspires me on the tough days, when everything seems bleak and I just want to give up…”  Rin shrugged.

_Rin…_

“Very well said, Matsuoka-kun.  Thank you for that and good luck tomorrow.  You too, Kawamura-kun.”

“Thanks!”

Haru’s nails bit into his palm as he tried to hold himself together, thinking of Sydney and Norwegian lessons, pool pictures, Barcelona, and Rin holding his hand on the way to the hospital…

Kawamura stepped down first as they left the reporters.  He smiled and tapped Rin’s arm.

“Huh?”  Rin turned and saw him.  Scarlet eyes blew wide, Rin’s cheeks going pink.  “Haru!”

Haru blinked, a bit of moisture sneaking past his eyelids.  He dried his face quickly with the sleeve of his jacket.  He didn’t trust himself to speak; even then, _I love you_ felt inadequate.  But he was able to move forward, taking just enough steps to wrap his arms around Rin.

Rin’s fingers tangled into his hair.  “You, uh…heard that, huh?”

Haru nodded, Rin’s blush deepening though he didn’t pull away.

 _If I had a ring on me, it would be time for an embarrassing Olympic proposal, Rin_.  Though, he did have something with rings on it…  Haru freed one hand, tugging off his Rio medal.

“ _Oi!_   This isn’t like Barcelona.  You can’t just—”

 _I can if I want to._   He ignored cellphone camera flashes from reporters leaning over the barrier as he slipped the green Rio 2016 lanyard over Rin’s head, laying the gleaming medal against his lover’s chest.

Rin’s face crumpled.  He bit down on his lower lip, trembling.

“Didn’t you know, Rin?”  Haru brushed bits of damp scarlet hair back from Rin’s cheek.  “You inspire me, too.”

“ _Haru_ …”  His name was a broken whisper before Rin kissed him, gathering him close.  The hug that followed was so tight it was hard to breathe.


	33. Love, in fifty-meter increments, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fixed Miyako's hair in this and preceding chapters.

* * *

Tuesday, August 9th, 2016

* * *

Rin woke up before their alarm went off, opening his eyes to a brand-new day in Rio—  Well, technically it was the _same_ day and he shouldn’t have felt nearly as rested as he did, given how late they’d gotten to bed.  Medals, it turned out, meant all sorts of impromptu post-interviews and JOC meet-and-greets, not to mention fending off excited fans at the park and fellow athletes in the dining hall.  He hadn’t left Haru’s side for a minute of it and he was half-surprised that even now Haru wasn’t still gripping his hand—

Things were different today.  Rin grinned to himself, their bedroom illuminated by a shaft of sunlight sneaking between the curtains as he pushed the covers back and swung his feet out of bed.  On his nightstand, next to the framed photo of him and his dad, was the old envelope with faded ink, encased in protective cellophane.  It was featherlight when Rin picked it up, slipping the envelope free from the plastic.  He ran his fingertips over worn edges and creases in the paper.  There was still the faintest indent from the ballpoint pen his dad had used to write his name:  凛.  He imagined how, every paycheck, his dad would’ve tucked a bit of money inside, all the while looking forward to the day Rin was living right now.

 _Another busy day, Dad._   _We’ve got the hundred free and the four-by-two hundred relay…and my final in the two hundred fly tonight._ Rin inhaled with warmth gathering in his chest and throat.  _Thanks for making it so Mom and Gou could be here._   He carefully tucked the envelope back into the plastic.  Maybe he wouldn’t get another chance to hear his dad say the words— _I’m proud of you—_ but he felt it in his heart and the proof was in his hands.  _Watch this, Dad.  I’m gonna light it up out there._   Rin returned the envelope to its spot next to the framed picture.  It was going to be a good day.

Hell, it already _was_.  Olympics day four and here he was, waking up next to the 200 meter free gold medalist—

Rin glanced over just as Haru pulled the covers over his head.

“It’s not time to get up yet,” Haru muttered.

 _You think just saying that will make it true?_   Rin smiled. 

The Rio gold medal was on Haru’s nightstand (back where it belonged, in Rin’s opinion), lying atop its green and orange lanyard.  The winged Greek goddess, Nike, was on the front beneath the Olympic rings and _XXXI Olimpíada Rio 2016._   Etched into the edge was _AQUATICS – SWIMMING | Men’s 200m Freestyle_.  Rin expected to be jealous, but he wasn’t.  There was so much pride and admiration inside him that there wasn’t any room for envy.

“Haru, we’re going swimming.  Olympic pools, relays, more chances to medal…”

The lump under the blue Rio bedspread curled tighter.  “Nn.  Winning is annoying.”

Rin grinned.  “Well, up to you.  Swim the way you want to.  I’ll do the same.”  He stretched out on top of the covers, lying back with his hands tucked behind his head.  “Forty-seven, seventy-one, right?”

The lump stilled for a moment.  Haru pushed the comforter down just enough to peer at him.  “What about it?”

“Oh, nothing.”  _It’s just your National Record time in the hundred free from the French Open.  Until I beat it today._  

The blue of Haru’s eyes started to simmer.

_Gotcha._

“…In the heats, Rin?”

“Maybe.  If I feel like it.”

“Oi!” 

Rin laughed as Haru tackled him, the two of them wrestling across flimsy mattresses in a flurry of sheets and blankets—

Haru had him pinned cross-ways against the bed, his head hanging over the edge when their phones buzzed in unison.

 _Damnit_.  Rin scowled at the interruption.  They were both breathing hard, gloriously skin-to-skin other than their underwear.  _Seconds_ more and the tussle would’ve turned sexy.  _This had better be good_.

Haru sat up, still straddling Rin’s thighs as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand.  His eyes flicked across the screen as he read the text.  “It’s from the captain.”

Rin sighed, pushing himself up onto his elbows.  “And?”

Haru’s lips pursed, his gaze flattening with irritation as he turned the phone towards Rin.

_[Looks like the field hockey team’s been at it again.  You two should come see.]_

“Haru, you made the wall!”

The frown in blue eyes only deepened.

Rin grinned, wiggling his toes.  “Let me up.”

Haru climbed off of him.  Rin got up, grabbing a pair of sweats and a burgundy tank top.  He tugged the clothes on, heading for the bedroom door.  With his hand on the doorknob, Rin glanced back, noting that Haru hadn’t moved from the bed.

Rin rolled his eyes and tossed Haru a T-shirt and sweatpants.  “Aren’t you curious?”

“No,” Haru said, his cheeks pink as he slipped the shark T-shirt over his head.

“Haru…”  Rin returned to the bed, leaning close with his hands braced to either side of his lover’s hips.  “Feeling shy, huh?”

“Nn.”  Haru glared at him mildly.

Rin smiled, moving in for a kiss.  Haru’s lips were rigid beneath his at first, but softened gradually as the kiss went on.  Rin threaded a hand into Haru’s hair, feeling Haru slowly relax and start to respond.  It wasn’t long before Haru was kissing him back, fingers tangled into the hem of Rin’s T-shirt.

Rin gently pulled away, the tips of their noses touching as he looked into Haru’s eyes.  _It’s OK.  I’m here.  We’re doing this together._   “Come with me,” he murmured, covering Haru’s hand with his own.

Haru was blushing harder now, but he nodded, letting Rin pull him to his feet.  Once Haru was dressed, they headed out the door.

Rin nearly tripped over a pair of legs clad in sea otter pajamas in the hallway of their apartment.  “Momo—”  _What the?_

The kid was rolling around on the floor with a huge grin on his face.  The sea otter plush was cuddled to his chest and he was making all sorts of non-sensical noises.

“Is he broken?” Haru asked, resting his chin on Rin’s shoulder. 

Rin scrubbed a hand through his hair.  “Mikoshiba?”

“Huh?”  Mikoshiba walked out from the second bedroom in his _sakura_ speedo, phone in hand.  “Oh.  That’s right, you guys weren’t there.”  He went back to scrolling.  “He’s been like that since Sada kissed him last night.”

Rin arched a brow as Momo emitted a series of squeaks, rolling vigorously with his face shoved into the stomach of the sea otter toy.

“Momotarou, you need to wash up and get dressed.”

“But Nii-chan, I’m never washing my face againnnn.”

Mikoshiba exhaled.  “Well then, I guess you’re giving up on more medals for more kisses, huh?  Because it’d be hard to swim without getting your face wet.”

Momo sprung to a sitting position, his legs fanned out like butterfly wings as he gasped in dismay.

Rin smothered a laugh, sharing a glance with Haru.  He pulled on his lover’s hand, the two of them slipping into sandals as they left their apartment.

Curfew was still in effect, technically, but there was a crowd of teammates in the atrium on their floor, all perusing the field hockey team’s handiwork.  The Wall started sometime early morning on Sunday—pictures and news articles about the Japanese swimmers taped to the bare white wall opposite the elevators.  Sunday, it had been mostly Mikoshiba and Koda and the women’s relay team.  Monday’s additions had been photos of Captain Ikehara on the podium, getting his bronze medal in the 100m breaststroke, along with articles about Ozawa, Otani, and several others. 

Today, however, the wall was _twice_ the size and Rin found himself face-to-face with a printout on meter-wide paper, with four-centimeter tall English letters and a giant picture of him embracing Haru in the stands…

“Hey!  Nanase!  Matsuoka!”  Koda appeared, draping his arms over both their shoulders with a sly grin.  “Looks like the girls found the plotter.”

Rin blushed automatically, taking in one photo after another—their hug in the pool after the 200m free final, Haru with tears gleaming in his eyes as the Japanese anthem played, Haru and Ethan McInnes at their post-race press conference where the mutual respect and admiration was obvious on their faces…and Rin losing it after his interview in the 200m fly, when Haru placed the gold medal around his neck.  Most of the articles were in Japanese, but a few were in Portuguese and English.  The article printed out on plotter paper in ginormous size font bore the English headline, _For the love of swimming._

“ _Suiei no ai no tame ni_ ,” Ozawa said, standing next to them with a smile.  “I don’t think they could’ve said it any more perfectly, Nanase-kun.”

 _I’ll say_.  Rin grinned, beaming with pride.  This was what he’d wanted to show the world.  _So they can be inspired, like I am._

Haru hadn’t replied.  Rin glanced over to reddened cheeks and the slight wariness in blue eyes as Haru looked from one picture to the next.

Eventually, Haru met his gaze, reading his face for a moment…and blue eyes softened with relief.

 _Were you worried I’d be embarrassed?  Tch.  Get the fuck over here._   Rin shrugged off their teammate, wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders instead.  “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered into glossy strands of black hair, warmth welling up in his chest. 

“Rin…”  Haru’s exhale was shaky, his fingers gripping Rin’s arms.

“Front page of the Olympic newspaper, huh?”  The new voice on Rin’s right belonged to Takara.  “You two are impossible.”

Rin drew back just enough to turn his head and look at her.  Takara was in a Team Japan T-shirt and black warmup pants, her black hair loose around her shoulders as she studied the Wall with one hand on her hip.

“It wasn’t my idea,” Haru muttered.

“Well, obviously, Haruka.”  Takara’s green eyes flicked skyward beneath a fringe of black bangs.  “That’s the whole point and it’s really irritating.”  

Haru’s lips thinned into a line.  “Mn.”

“Eh.”  Takara brushed a bit of hair behind her shoulder.  “Can’t be helped, I guess.”

Rin eyed her suspiciously.  Takara seemed oddly relaxed, this morning.  Relaxed for her, anyway.  She wasn’t exactly low-strung, but the jealous fury he’d seen yesterday was absent.  Rin could count on two fingers the number of times he’d seen her calm like this.

“What’s that look, Matsuoka?” she asked in a flat voice.

That was more normal.  “Nothing,” Rin said.  “You just seem different today.”

“It has nothing to do with you,” Takara said, Rin noting a hint of pink along the tops of her cheekbones.  “Mind your own business.  Or I’ll give you something to mind and you’re not gonna like it.”

Haru coughed in Rin’s arms, Rin arching a brow.  _Was that a laugh, Haru?_

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “That was really cheesy, Takara.”

“Oh, please.  Like I’ve got anything on Mr. _I want to show the world my boyfriend’s inspirational swimming_ over here.”

Rin’s face heated.  “ _Oi_ —”

“You’ve got that podium all to yourself, Matsuoka.”

Haru hummed in agreement, his blue eyes dancing with mirth.

 _Not you too._ Rin scowled as his cheeks grew hotter.

Haru squeezed his arm, his voice a quiet whisper.  “I really liked what you said, Rin.”

The soft look Haru gave him had Rin falling hard and falling fast, even the tips of his ears on fire as he choked back a curse.  _Damnit, Haru._   Burying his face in Haru’s hair was the only thing he could do.

Takara chuckled.

An odd lump brushed Rin’s left calf in passing.  It was too large to be a rodent, more like the size of a sea otter…

Takara’s laughter cut off.  “Seijuurou, what is your brother doing?”

“To be honest, I have no idea,” Mikoshiba said. 

Rin opened his eyes as Haru shifted them back a step, making room for the otter boy to sit on the floor in front of the wall.  Momo searched the print outs briefly, then his gaze locked onto one picture in particular.  A series of incoherent noises followed, the kid slumping onto his side on the floor with a dreamy look on his face.

The photo was from the Mixed Zone, Momo was in his warmups, clutching his bronze medal as Sada gave him a peck on the cheek.  From Momo’s expression, it was easy to tell the exact moment the kid stopped functioning.

 _That was it, huh?  You’ve got it bad, Momo._   To be fair, though, Rin could remember a couple early kisses—at Haru’s apartment, at karaoke—that sent him into a tailspin too.  Even now, Rin still tasted Haru on his lips and it was _very_ nice…  _Five more days of swimming to go._

The elevator on the west side of the atrium dinged as the doors opened on their floor.  “I see everyone conveniently forgot how to tell time this morning…” Coach Maekawa said.

The Japanese swimmers scattered to their apartments under their coach’s cool gaze.  Rin let go of Haru to help Mikoshiba drag his brother away from the wall. 

“Awwww.”  Momo’s sock feet trailed limp across the floor.

“One more hour, Olympians,” Maekawa said, giving them a stern look.

Haru nodded, closing the door behind them, but Rin caught a glimpse of the smile in their coach’s eyes before she turned to peruse the Wall.

While Momo whined in the hallway, Rin and Haru slipped back into bed in their clothes. 

Rin’s insides flipped pleasantly as Haru settled on top of him, nudging one of his knees aside to make room.  Their mouths met in a kiss that deepened quickly, Haru lacing their fingers together and pinning Rin’s hands to the sheets.

Rin swallowed a groan as Haru broke the kiss, meeting the playful glitter in blue eyes.

“You can have the heats, Rin, but I’m anchoring the relay.”

Rin sank his teeth into his lower lip to muffle the noise in his throat, his fingers twitching tighter into Haru’s.  _Hell yes._   A breathy sound escaped and Rin blushed hard. 

Haru smirked, capturing his lips in another kiss that didn’t disappoint at all.

-x-

Coach Maekawa was waiting for them when they made it to the transportation mall after breakfast.  “Nanase, Matsuoka, with me.”  She directed them to a separate bus with the sign _Olympic Aquatics Stadium_ and a Rio official standing beside the door, checking names against a list.  “We’re bussing you door-to-door from now on.”

Rin’s brow furrowed, Haru looking equally perplexed.  “Did something happen?” Rin asked, holding up his Rio credentials so the official could cross-check his name and photo.

Maekawa cocked an eyebrow as if to say, _Really?  You have to ask?_

They boarded the bus, grabbing seats near the back.

Maekawa sat across from them and pulled a glossy news magazine from her gear bag.  Front and center—in full color—was the English news article that wallpapered their atrium.  A photo of them hugging over the railing in the stands—Haru with the Japanese flag draped over his back—took up almost half of the A2-sized page.  In the lower right corner—almost as an afterthought—was a small picture of Damien Andrews and his umpteenth gold medal. 

Maekawa handed them the magazine.  “The JOC’s been inundated with media requests for the two of you since last night and we heard there’s already a crowd forming outside the stadium.  Not that we’re trying to keep you away from any adoring fans, but we need to be mindful of the schedule.  Taking a few precautions isn’t a bad idea either.”

“But…”  Haru’s face clouded.

Rin pressed his lips.  “We had plans to meet our loved ones.”

“I know.”  Maekawa’s gaze was sympathetic.  “You’ll want to direct them to the first floor, outside the Mixed Zone.”  She slipped her phone from her pocket.  “I’ll ask Mizuki to help out.  It’s not ideal,” she said, tapping out a text, “but until the hype dies down a bit, it’s the best option.”

Haru frowned as he sat back in his seat, taking out his phone.  The bus filled in with big names—gold medalists, Olympic veterans—though Rin didn’t see Damien.  As Haru texted, Rin did too, composing a group message to his mom, Gou, and Sousuke while the bus pulled away from the curb.

“Does this mean we’re limited to the Athletes’ Village and the Aquatic Centre?” Rin asked after hitting _send_.

Maekawa shook her head, taking the news magazine back and folding it in half.  “What you do when it’s not curfew and when you’re not racing is up to you.  But I wouldn’t recommend running around in uniform.” 

 _Makes sense._   Rin reached over, taking Haru’s hand and squeezing lightly.  “I’m sure we can find a place to meet up after the heats are done.”

Haru lowered his phone, relaxing minutely as he met Rin’s gaze.  He nodded.

Maekawa lowered her voice.  “Gold medal ties are pretty rare, that’s part of the reason you’re getting so much attention.  Give it a day or two and things will calm down a little, though I wouldn’t expect a return to ‘normal’ for a while.”

“Mn.”  Haru’s lips thinned into a line. 

“I know this isn’t your thing, Nanase.  Trust us to handle the circus so you can concentrate on swimming.”

Instead of pulling up to the front entrance of the Barra Olympic Park, the bus turned before reaching the main press center, driving behind several buildings and stopping at a different security checkpoint.  Rio officials came on board, checking credentials and doing a brief security sweep before the bus was allowed to continue onto the park grounds.  Haru had the window, but Rin could see the gathered crowds—both fans and media—lining barriers as they approached the stadium.

_We’ve been spared up to this point._

Haru turned away from the view, exhaling. 

Rin met his lover’s gaze.  At least Haru looked more irritated than upset about it.  _I can handle irritated._   Rin slipped his arm around Haru’s shoulders, leaning close to press his lips to soft black hair.  

“Nn.”  Haru snuggled in, as if he could hide in Rin’s warmup jacket.

Rin smiled, wrapping both arms around Haru as the bus drove down a gentle incline to the ground floor of the facility, adjacent to the warm up pool.  There was a security station and entrance here, near the Athletes’ Lounge and locker rooms.  The line was short as they got off the bus, entering the building after a quick screening.  Rin’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _[We’re headed your way,]_ Sousuke wrote.  _[Gou says fifteen minutes.]_

“Hm?”  Haru pressed close.

Rin showed him the text.

“Makoto said the same thing.”

“Wanna hit the pool in the meantime?”

Haru’s eyes widened, then he was pulling on Rin’s hand.  They passed the Athletes’ Lounge for the warm up pool, stripping down to their tech suits in Japan’s team area on the north side of the venue.  The chlorinated air alone seemed to help Haru unwind.  He was up on the start block, his cap and goggles barely on before he was diving.  Rin took a little more time with his preparations, his heart settling as he watched Haru come up to smooth pulls of free with a blissful look on his face.

Rin smiled and dove second.

-x-

“Onii-chan!!  Haruka-nii-san!!”  Gou was leaning over the barrier halfway down, waving vigorously in head-to-toe Team Japan gear.  A copy of the same news magazine poked out from her bag.

Rin and Haru were still wet from the pool, their warmups hastily donned and hair damp.  Gou caught them both in a hug over the green Rio 2016 barrier. 

“My brothers and their muscles are world famous!”

Rin rolled his eyes, hugging his sister back and making sure she was steady on her feet before he let go.  “ _Oi_ , Gou.”  _Haru’s the one with the medal, not me._

“Makoto, I’m sorry I couldn’t…”  Haru trailed off, looking up at his best friend across the barrier.

Makoto chuckled.  “It’s OK, Haru.  Believe me, you wouldn’t have liked the crowds out there one bit.  This is better, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes.”

Haru’s eyes grew large and shimmery with emotion, his hands curling into the cuffs of his warmup jacket.

“Would you guys be up for a late lunch, after the heats?” Rin asked.  “Or at least hanging out, away from the Park?”

Haru met his gaze, his face soft with gratitude.

“You could come back to our place,” Rin’s mom said, adjusting the strap of her purse over a fitted Team Japan polo shirt.  “The condo itself isn’t huge, but there’s the pool and barbeque outside.  It’ll be quieter and more private, anyway.” 

Rin smiled.  “That sounds perfect.”

Haru nodded, his hands relaxing at his sides.

Beside Gou, Sousuke was looking at the hallway signage, a puzzled expression on his face.  Rin lifted a brow.  Out of place against Sousuke’s designer T-shirt and jeans was a large pin-back button attached to the shoulder strap of his leather satchel.  It was in English, _[If lost, return to…]_ with five Japanese phone numbers listed underneath.

“Sousuke, what the?”

Sousuke followed his gaze and exhaled.  “A couple of the Todai guys on the rugby team made this for me.”

Rin grinned.  “And you’re wearing it?”

Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck.  “Well, it might come in handy, so…”

_I swear, I’m gonna install one of those Locator apps on you and see if that works._

There was a soft trill, Sousuke slipping his phone from his pocket.  “Hey,” he said, answering.  He looked around again.  “I’m on the first floor.”  Sousuke paused, listening briefly.  He looked down at the barrier.  “Well, there’s green.”

Rin fought the urge to facepalm.  He held out his hand.  _Give._

Sousuke reluctantly handed over the phone.

“He’s on the ground floor, behind section zero-three,” Rin said.

“ _Thanks, Matsuoka_ ,” Takara said on the other side of the phone.  “ _Tell him to stay there.  Shouldn’t you be in the pool?_ ”

Rin glanced over, noting how happy Haru looked, spending time with Makoto.  “We’re headed back that way soon.”

“ _Alright, clean up out there_.”

 _Now I know something’s different…_   “Thanks.”  Rin handed the phone back.

“It’s me,” Sousuke said.  He listened for a beat, then sighed.  “Yeah, I’ll stay here.  …Ah.”  Sousuke ended the call.

“She’s in a better mood today,” Rin said.

Sousuke arched a brow as he returned the phone to his pocket.  “The only thing on your mind should be swimming, Rin.  You don’t get to slack off because Nanase won a medal.”

“Ass.”  Rin scowled at his best friend.  _You don’t get to tell me how I should swim, either._

Sousuke’s face smoothed.  “I don’t want my stuff getting in your way this time.”

Rin’s inhale caught in his throat.  _Sousuke…_   He pressed his lips.  _All this time, you’ve been worrying about Haru and everyone else throwing me off.  But you’ve finally acknowledged your part in this…_ Rin released the breath he was holding.  “Ah.”  _You’re not wrong—it’s none of my business what’s going on between you and Takara, or you and Kawamura for that matter._ But maybe part of it was his own guilt too, since he couldn’t return Sousuke’s feelings and the rejection was something Sousuke was still dealing with.  _I want to see you happy—that’s what it is.  Whether that’s with someone or not.  I want to see you moving forward, pursuing your dream, not held back or stalled any longer._

“Rin.”  Sousuke rocked back on his heels with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, a smile on his face.  “You got this.  Mr. Fourth Seed.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin relaxed.  “That’s Mr. Fourth Seed _in the World_.  Get it right.”  He mock-glared at his best friend, Sousuke chuckling in response.

Rin drew away from the barrier after a last round of hugs from his mom and Gou. 

Haru caught his hand as they headed back towards the warm up pool.  “You OK?”

“Huh?”  Rin glanced over, surprised.  _I should’ve been asking you._

But Haru looked content, his blue eyes warm and inviting.

Rin felt the turbulence of his thoughts settle, guilt and worries he couldn’t do anything about melting away.  “Yeah, I am.”

A bit of static preceded an announcement in English from the overhead speakers.  “ _Competitors in heats one, two, and three of the men’s one hundred meter freestyle, please report to the clerk of course.  Men’s hundred meter freestyle, heats one, two, and three…”_  

The thrill surged inside him, the same eagerness building in Haru’s eyes.  Rin grinned.  “Haru, let’s go swimming.”

Haru tugged on his hand, the two of them racing back to the warm up pool…

-x-

There were eight heats of the men’s 100m free, kicking off the afternoon’s four events.  The free would be followed by the women’s 200m fly, men’s 200m breaststroke, and the men’s 4-by-200m free relay.  Inspection and call was busy with fifty-nine swimmers plus team staff and Rio officials jammed into two rooms, but precisely at 1pm, the afternoon’s program got underway with the first three swimmers walking out to the pool. 

Rin and Haru had staked out a slightly calmer corner of the room with Ethan McInnes and Ty Bingham from Team Australia.  They were limber from warm ups, double-capped with their goggles pressing into their foreheads.  Haru was back to being quiet, sitting with his eyes closed and earbuds in.  He wasn’t asleep, though.  Every so often his hand would adjust in Rin’s, or he’d get this little smile on his face that would make Rin wonder what bit of karaoke he was listening to.  _If I knew you liked to do this, I would’ve recorded a whole album for you, Haru._   The idea made his cheeks heat, but Rin still filed it away for later.

There were plenty of looks and murmured conversations around them, though no one dared interrupt a fellow athlete prepping for a race.  Damien Andrews was on the opposite side of the room, wrapped in his puffy parka and taking selfies with the younger swimmers, just like on Sunday.  If he was fazed by the media coverage of the 200m free last night, he wasn’t showing it.

The heats progressed swiftly, with a couple of swimmers in heat four being the first to go sub-49 seconds.  But, per FINA regulations, the top 24 swimmers were all seeded into the last three heats.  Haru, third seed, had lane four in heat six.  Damien, second seed, had lane four in heat seven.  Ethan was top seed, with lane four in heat eight.  Rin and Ty were also in the final heat, in lanes five and six, respectively. 

When the Rio officials called Haru’s name, he got to his feet, pulling his earbuds free and tucking his phone back into his pocket. 

“ _Cut it up out there, Haruka_ ,” Ty said with a grin.

Haru paused for a moment, wearing his English-processing-face.  He nodded.  “ _Thank you_.”

Rin got up.  “Haru.”  He reached for his lover’s hand.

Haru stopped in front of him, blue eyes tracing his movements as Rin gently grasped Haru’s left hand.  Haru hadn’t mentioned any pain since Friday, though they’d still iced his wrist per Kasai’s instructions as recently as last night.  Haru’s skin was warm beneath Rin’s lips, tasting like chlorine.  Rin’s face burned, but this was too important to skip just because they weren’t alone.  He lowered Haru’s hand and rested their foreheads together.

_Love you._

Haru’s eyes brightened with affection, with the same love echoed back.  He pulled away as the official called his name a second time.

As Haru disappeared through the doorway into final call, Rin dropped back into his chair.

“ _Three points_.”

“ _Shut up, Ty_.”

On the screen nearby, the fifth heat of swimmers took the blocks and dove.  A competitor from Great Britain won the heat, hitting the wall just over forty-eight seconds.  Once the fifth heat cleared the pool, the sixth heat walked out—Haru in the middle of the line.  The roar of the crowd reached all the way back to the first call room where Rin sat—even having a Brazilian in the heat didn’t account for all of the sudden noise.

The camera zoomed in on Haru as he shucked off his warmups and readied his goggles.  He ignored the film crew, only waving twice—once in Team Japan’s direction and secondly towards the section where Makoto and the others were seated.  The screen switched to a view of all eight swimmers, Haru in the center with a French swimmer in lane three and an Italian swimmer in lane five.  Rin sat forward as the whistle pulsed, barely breathing as Haru stepped up to the block in his black and _sakura_ jammers. 

Getting the crowd to quiet for the start felt like forever and Rin wasn’t even the one up on the blocks.  He held his breath as Haru tensed and sprung forward at the buzzer.  The underwater view of lanes four and five was the perfect vantage point for Haru’s lithe dolphin kicks.  He surfaced into a sprint, leading the pack all the way to the turn and pulling away with each stroke he took to the wall.  Haru hit first in his heat, his time flashing up at 47.83 with the next swimmer finishing a half second after. 

 _Fucking yes!_   Rin fought to contain himself, rapping his fist against his thigh as the camera zoomed in on Haru’s face—Haru who was breathing hard and pulling off his cap and goggles.  Shards of wet black hair swayed as he shook the water from his face before lifting his gaze to the board.  Haru’s expression didn’t change much—there was just the hint of pleasure in his eyes as he turned from the camera, trading handshakes with the competitors in adjacent lanes before climbing out of the pool.

“ _Senhor Matsuoka_.”

Rin got up, falling in with the rest of the swimmers for the eighth heat as they moved from the first call room to final call.  From the pool, he could hear thunderous cheering and the rattle of the cowbell that accompanied Damien Andrews prepping for his race in the seventh heat. 

“ _Good luck out there, Rin_.”  Ethan McInnes extended a hand.

Rin shook hands with the Australian captain.  “ _Thanks, Ethan.  You too_.”

“ _You’re aiming for the Japanese record, right?_ ” Ty asked.

“ _Yeah_.”

Ty grinned.

Ethan adjusted the strap of his goggles.  “ _What was it again?_ ”

“ _Forty-seven, seventy-one_.”  The record was a half second slower than Ethan’s top seed time.

The Australian captain smiled.  “ _Should be a good race_.”

On the TV in the final call room, the seventh heat swimmers hit the pool at the start.  Damien looked as good as ever in lane four.  After one quick down and back, none of the competition was anywhere near him as he touched at 47.75.  The camera caught the triumphant fist pump and the guy’s dazzling smile.

Rin wasn’t bothered by Damien’s performance.  _I’m not racing you today._

The officials were calling them to line up, Rin taking his place between Ethan and Ty.

“ _Heat Eight_ ,” the announcer said in English, the Chinese swimmer at the head of the line leading the way out to the pool deck.

The cheering today was the loudest so far.  Rin approached the lane five block, hearing his name yelled from all corners of the stadium.  He paused to wave, spending an extra second towards his family on the far-left side of the arena where Gou and his mom were on their feet with the Iwatobi banner.

Rin stripped down to his leg skins and pressed his goggles into place.  Haru would be watching from the Mixed Zone.

“ _Ty, don’t be slacking off_ ,” Ethan said from lane four, on Rin’s right.

“ _Ha.  You either, Captain_.”

Both Australians glanced his way. 

Rin grinned back.  “ _Keep up.  If you can_.”

“ _Ooh, fighting words, Rin_ ,” Ty said with a smirk as the three of them took the blocks.

The non-slip surface of the lane five block was gritty against the balls of Rin’s feet as he waited for the cheering to die down, gazing at sparkling blue water that matched the color of Haru’s eyes.  He _lived_ for the way Haru’s expression went from cool to hot this morning with Rin’s mention of his national record time.  _It’s my turn to show you something good, Haru._

“ _Take your marks.”_

In a heartbeat of silence, the signal went off.  Rin sprung from the block, the air racing across his skin as he went into streamline.  His fingertips touched first, then he sliced through the opening he’d made, encasing himself in a world of clear blue and surging forward with powerful dolphin kicks.  Ethan and Ty were alongside him underwater, but Rin was the first to break through the surface.  He ramped up his stroke rate smoothly, dipping each hand into the pool and taking minimal breaths as he accelerated into his sprint.  Rin curled into the turn a split-second before the Australians.  Ty started to lag during the back fifty; Rin knew Ethan was keeping pace with him in the other lane—  But the competition wasn’t on his mind—Haru was. 

Haru, who would say things like, _The water feels good today, Rin.  Listen to what the water tells you._ He imagined Haru’s classically stoic face and the adorable mild panic yesterday— _Rin, what do I do?_ —after his gold medal tie.

_I’ll show you what winning looks like, Haru._

Rin slapped the wall with burning lungs and aching muscles, going deaf at the cheering drowning out the announcer’s voice.  He raked off his cap and goggles, twisting for the board as he drew one heaving breath after another—

_LN 4 – AUS – McINNES Ethan – 47.70 – 2_

_LN 5 – JPN – MATSUOKA Rin – 47.68 – 1_

_LN 6 – AUS – BINGHAM Ty – 48.11 – 3_

_Yes!_   He’d done it—a new Japanese record—and he’d taken the heats.

Ty hooked his arms over the line between them, laughing.  “ _Rin, what the hell?_ ”

Rin was too out of breath to answer, clasping his friend’s hand over the lane line.

“ _Good for you, mate_.”

Rin grinned, able to manage words after a second more.  “ _Thanks, Ty_.”

Ethan joined them in lane five.  “ _Don’t expect the semis to be this easy, Rin_.”

“ _Easy?_ ”  Rin puffed, trading smiles and handshakes with the Australian captain.

They all climbed out, Rin waving at his teammates and loved ones in the stands before heading for his ID check.  He grabbed a towel, drying his face and chest as he followed the Australians into the Mixed Zone—

“ _Mr. Matsuoka!_ ”  “Matsuoka-kun!!”

There was a huge crowd of reporters pressed against the barrier, Rin pausing for a minute, pushing wet hair from his face as he surveyed the chaos.

His gaze landed on cool blue eyes, Haru standing with media one section down from Damien Andrews.  The sultry, simmering look Haru fixed him with sent Rin’s heart back to racing; he knew what awaited him in Haru’s arms.  Rin wanted it, even with the reporters right there.  He passed Damien, his breath failing as Haru’s hand curled around the back of his neck, their lips meeting in a kiss that made his heart stop and restart three times—

Rin gripped Haru’s arms to stay upright when they parted, recovering with slow breaths.

The smolder in Haru’s eyes hadn’t lessened at all.  “Nice race, Rin,” he murmured.

 _Oh, you are getting it later._   Rin focused on the air entering and leaving his lungs, not trusting himself to speak yet.

Haru’s eyes warmed even further, then he was drawing Rin in for a tight hug.  Rin leaned against his lover, continuing to catch his breath.

_“Mr. Andrews, can you share your thoughts about racing Mr. Matsuoka and Mr. Nanase in the hundred free?  You’ve been looking forward to this for a while.”_

_“Yes, I have,”_ Damien said.  “ _It’s always great, seeing new energy and new competitors enter the arena.  Keeps us veterans sharp, you know?”_

_“How do you feel about a third place finish, overall?”_

_“It’s the heats, Jessica.  Plenty of racing left to go.”_

_“Any concerns or pressure going into tonight?  You’ve got multiple races scheduled.”_

_“Never.  The only thing on my mind right now is getting to relax for a couple hours with my wife and daughter.  Last question…yes?”_

_“Mr. Andrews, if you could describe Mr. Matsuoka and Mr. Nanase’s swimming in one word?”_

_“Really?”_   The American legend chuckled.  _“They’re right here and their English isn’t too bad.  Ask them.”_   He paused.  _“I guess I’d say…enthusiastic, but you can see that for yourselves.”_

Mirth rumbled through the media, Rin’s face growing hot.  He lifted his head, glancing back in time to see Damien stepping down from the step with a wave. 

_“See you tonight.  Thanks again.”_

The reporters were drooling over his smile as he left.

 _“Rin.  Haruka.”_   There was a mild flicker in Damien’s eyes as he greeted them in passing, heading for the locker room.

In the guy’s absence, the reporters flocked over to the barrier next to Rin and Haru.  _Our turn_.  Rin reluctantly detangled himself from Haru’s arms, grasping Haru’s hand as they stepped up together. 

 _“Mr. Matsuoka, your time in the heats is a new Japanese record.”_   A man in a navy-blue polo shirt held out a recording device towards them.  _“Was that on your mind going into the race?”_

 _“Yes, that was the goal,”_ Rin said.

_“Does this mean, Mr. Nanase, you’ll be looking to beat Mr. Matsuoka’s time in tonight’s semi-finals?”_

Haru shrugged.  _“If I feel like it.”_

Rin fought the urge to roll his eyes and grin.

_“You’re both swimming in the heats of the upcoming four-by-two hundred relay.  Any concerns after going out so hard in this event?”_

_“No,”_ Rin said.

Haru shook his head.

A woman in a short-sleeved pants suit pressed forward.  _“How do you deal with competing in the same events?  Is jealousy ever a factor?”_

 _“Nah.”_   _Not anymore._   Rin smiled.  _“It’s motivating, seeing each other swim our best.”_

_“How about for you, Mr. Nanase?  It doesn’t bother you, having Mr. Matsuoka beat your national record?”_

Haru paused briefly as he processed the English.  _“No.  I like it when he does.  It keeps things interesting.”_

Rin blushed. 

 _“We like to…”_   Haru trailed off, as though searching for the right word.  His face lit when he found it. _“Change it up.  Yes.  It’s good for us.”_

 _Damnit, Haru_.  Rin’s face went from warm to burning.  _Swimming, we’re only talking about swimming…we’re only answering questions about swimming…_  

“ _Mr. Matsuoka_.”  A different reporter addressed him.  “ _The overall standings put you and Damien Andrews in adjacent lanes for tonight’s semi-finals.  Is it intimidating, swimming next to the world record holder?_ ”

Rin was grateful for the distraction.  “ _I’m aware of my competitors, of course, including Damien’s achievements_.”  He propped his free hand on his hip.  “ _But my strategy is to go out there and swim my best, regardless of who else is in the pool with me.  There are eight spots in the final and I want one of them_.”  Rin smiled, Haru’s hand warm in his.  “ _Though, when Haru and I are in the pool together, that’s different.  Then we’re racing_.”  He glanced over, finding Haru looking at him, meeting the soft pleasure in blue eyes.

Rin held his lover’s gaze for a beat, soaking up the smile in Haru’s eyes before they returned to the barrage of questions fired their way.

-x-

The other half of the Japanese 4-by-200 relay team was waiting when they got back to the warm up pool. 

Mikoshiba greeted them with a wide grin, his arms folded across his bare chest, goggles dangling from his wrist.  “Nicely done, Matsuoka!  Nanase!  Way to represent!”

“Thanks, Mikoshiba,” Haru said, as they stashed their stuff in Japan’s team area.

Sugiyama was already in the pool.  He surfaced out of lane nine in red and black jammers, wiping the water from his face as he joined them.  “Matsuoka.”

Rin met the guy’s gaze, half-braced—

“Well done.”

 _Pretty sure that’s more about beating Damien than my performance, but I’ll take it._ “Thanks, Sugiyama-senpai.”

Coach Fujino came over in his white _sakura_ jacket and black warmup pants.  “Congratulations, you two.  I thought it’d been too long since we had to call Tokyo on your behalf.”

 _I hope you’ve got them on speed dial, Coach_.  Rin smiled as he and Haru bowed.

“Let’s brush up on exchanges.  Nice and easy, all-out for the last fifteen meters.  Sugiyama-kun, you’ll lead off, followed by Mikoshiba and Matsuoka.  Nanase-kun, you’ve got anchor.”

With a chorus of ‘hai’s, they headed for the pool.

Rin got in line behind Mikoshiba as Sugiyama took the block on lane nine.  _Relay number two, Dad._   He stretched his swim cap over damp hair, donning his goggles on top.  Haru, taking his spot as anchor, did the same.  Rin grinned, meeting the eagerness warming blue eyes as Coach Fujino’s whistle blew and Sugiyama dove into the pool.  _I feel pretty good about this one._

-x-

In the women’s 200m fly heats, Ozawa made the semi-finals in sixth place overall.  Rin and Haru were back in first call in time to meet up with Captain Ikehara, prior to his race in the men’s 200m breaststroke.

“Sugiyama-senpai, it’s always great to see you swim,” Ikehara said, the five of them off to the side in their _sakura_ jackets and black Team Japan swim caps.

Sugiyama rolled his eyes, exhaling.  “Save it for someone who needs it, Ikehara.”  He wandered away, pushing earbuds into his ears and taking a seat.

Ikehara looked entirely pleased.  “Good luck out there, guys,” he said, smiling at them.

“Thanks, Captain!”  Mikoshiba grinned.

“You too, Captain,” Rin said.

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.

Ikehara left them with a wave as the officials called his name.  He headed into final call.

Rin heard a buzzing sound.  He glanced over as Mikoshiba took out his phone and blushed, hunching over the device.

 _Tch_.  Rin tugged on the side of his swim cap, turning his back to the guy.  Sixteen relay teams were packed into the call room, with Great Britain as top seed and the United States second.  Japan would swim in the second heat, in lane six, between Australia and Spain.  Like on Sunday, the powerhouse teams were largely composed of Olympic newcomers who would only swim the preliminary round.  Sugiyama didn’t have much company—very few Olympic veterans were present. 

It was loud.  Beside Rin, Haru was pulling out his phone and earbuds.  This time, though, Rin was feeling feisty.  Haru eyed him suspiciously as he slipped a cord set from his pocket and plugged in.  Rin gave his lover a sassy glance as he pushed the buds into his ears.  He thumbed the play button, adjusting the volume as the song started.  He’d have to thank his sister again for recording the whole thing (though she’d refused to admit _why_ she was recording in the first place).

 _Oh, Haru.  Your singing is so monotone._   Rin grinned to himself, watching as Haru’s eyes flared.

Haru stepped close.  “What are you listening to?”

“Hm?”  Rin played like he couldn’t hear.  “Oh, this?”  He sat down in a folding chair, touching one earbud.  “It’s just a little love song.”

“ _Oi_ —”  Color crept up Haru’s throat and then he was all but in Rin’s lap, making a grab for the phone.

Rin laughed, catching his lover around the waist and holding his phone out of reach as the song continued to play.

“ _Rin_.”

“But I really like it,” Rin said.

Haru stilled, braced across Rin’s leg and an adjacent chair.  His face was still red, but he lowered his hands, exhaling through his nose like an irritated cat.

“Really,” Rin whispered.

“Fine.”  Haru glared at him mildly and climbed off, sitting in the chair next to Rin’s.  He made an exaggerated show of pressing his earbuds into his ears and cranking up the volume.

Rin leaned back with a smile, listening to Haru serenade him, their friends and teammates taking over at the chorus.  _“Hora!  Anata ni totte, daiji ni hito hodo sugu soba ni iru no…”  {Hey!  The person who is important to you is right by your side.}_

What Rin failed to anticipate was the sudden welling of warmth in his chest and in his eyes as he heard those words again.  He’d listened to the song since Haru’s birthday, but it was the first time with Haru _right here_.  Rin bit his lower lip, trying to keep it from showing on his face as his revenge completely and utterly backfired.

But when Haru glanced sidelong at him, one brow arched—

 _Ah, fuck it_.  He threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders, pressing his face into Haru’s swim cap.  _I love you._

As the chorus faded in Rin’s ears, Haru’s fingers trailed warm down the side of his face.  Fingertips hooked beneath the edge of his jaw, Rin reluctantly drawing back.

Haru read his expression in a heartbeat and smiled, his gaze dancing with mirth, pleasure, and love returned.

-x-

Captain Ikehara slayed in the men’s breaststroke, taking second place overall in the heats.  The first 4-by-200 free relay was dominated by the United States and Russia, with Germany finishing third.  After twenty minutes in the call room that felt like an hour, it was finally time for Team Japan to swim.  The officials organized them in lane order, Rin massaging Haru’s palm as they waited in line behind Ty and the other Australians.  Denmark was the first team out to the pool, followed by France, Belgium, and Great Britain.  Mikoshiba glanced back with a lopsided grin and a thumbs-up as the Australian team headed out and Team Japan stepped up to the doorway.

_Mikoshiba, you’re such a ham._

Rin smiled, the four of them waiting for the go-ahead from the Rio official beside the entryway.

The official lowered his arm and nodded.  The Japanese relay team walked out together to a fresh surge of cheering.

“Noboru!”  “Sugiyama!”  “Sugiyama-kun!!”

Rin heard his name alongside Haru’s and Mikoshiba’s, but the loudest cheers, shouts, and squeals were all directed at four-time Olympian, Sugiyama.  Only around half of those fans were Japanese.  Sugiyama was too cool to wave in acknowledgement as he strode up to the block on lane six and lowered his goggles over his eyes.  Admirers were swooning in the stands as the guy disrobed and propped one foot on the step at the blocks.  He was playing to the crowds in his own way—not with dazzling smiles and personal attention like Andrews, but his cool aloofness had fans drooling over him all the same.

Mikoshiba sat down in the folding chair to wait, Rin and Haru standing behind.  Eight hundred meters of free meant seven minutes of swimming.  It was a long race compared to the four-by-one hundred free or medley.

Spain and Hungary took the last two lanes, the first eight swimmers readying themselves at the short pulses of the whistle.  Rin still had Haru’s hand as he watched, their fingers laced together and resting atop his right shoulder.  With the long whistle, Rin’s heartbeat started to quicken, the anticipation building in his chest.

_“Dad, is Sugiyama-kun the best swimmer ever?”_

_Rin’s dad chuckled, mussing Rin’s hair.  “He’s the best in Japan right now, that’s for sure.”  They were sitting in front of the TV, waiting for the heats of the Athens’ medley relay to start._

_“Aww.”  Rin settled, wistful, against his father’s chest.  “His teammates are so lucky they get to swim with him.”_

_Strong arms wrapped around his waist.  “It takes a whole team.  One person can’t win a relay.  At the same time, one person can’t lose a relay either.  Because you’re all swimming together, depending on each other, helping each other, cheering on your teammates.”_

_“Dad.”  Rin tilted his head back, looking up at his father upside-down.  “When I’m old enough, can I swim relay too?  Just like you and Sugiyama-kun?”_

_Rin’s dad grinned.  “Yeah, Rin.  You’ll be great at it.”  He brushed hair back from Rin’s forehead with warm, calloused fingers, dropping a kiss on Rin’s crown._

_“Daddddd…”  Rin squirmed but secretly loved it, beaming in his father’s arms._

The buzzer drew Rin from his memories.  Reality was thrilling and bittersweet in equal measure, Rin’s fingers tightening on Haru’s hand as he smiled and swallowed around a lump in his throat.  _You’d never guess, Dad, the way things worked out._

In lane six, Sugiyama surfaced into flawless, precise strokes of free, his pace metronome-steady.  His swimming lacked the unbounded feeling of Haru’s, but was impressive in its own right.  Sugiyama’s form echoed the dedication, drive, and solitary focus he gave to the sport.  No one in the pool could touch him and it showed as his competitors fell away from the grueling pace he set.  Sugiyama was the first one to the wall at two hundred meters, Mikoshiba’s exchange clean and fast.

Rin released Haru’s hand so he could undress, sitting down to pull off his sneakers before he slipped out of his warm ups.  He went to adjust the block for his feet as Sugiyama hoisted himself out of the pool, still catching his breath.  Their rivalry in butterfly didn’t matter to Rin right then, his thoughts too recent and raw.  He still didn’t chance words, though, settling for a nod instead.  The usual dismissal would’ve hurt too much right now.

Sugiyama pulled off one swim cap and his goggles, his expression as cool and unreadable as always.  He moved past without a word, but a damp hand on Rin’s shoulder—just for a second—had Rin stilling as he reached for his goggles.  The acknowledgement from his childhood idol, however brief and small and _only-this-once_ , floored him.  Rin drew a deep breath as he pressed his goggles over his eyes, taking time to ensure the seal was perfect. 

When he lowered his hands, a weight came with it.  Breathing was light and easy and Rin glanced back, sharing an eager smile with Haru before he turned for the block.

The Australians edged ahead during Mikoshiba’s leg, the main pack of swimmers stretching from lanes one through six with Spain and Hungary trailing slightly.  Rin climbed up, positioning his feet and leaning forward as Mikoshiba sprinted towards the wall.

“Seijuurou!” 

He arched a brow at his sister’s voice, but wasn’t about to complain when Mikoshiba answered with a burst of speed.  Rin read his former captain’s strokes, timing the start of his dive so that he was well into his forward leap, his feet leaving the block just after Mikoshiba touched the wall.

“Onii-chan!!”

Rin plunged into the water a couple tenths behind the Australian swimmer in the lane to his right.  He caught up during the first fifty meters, battled his way back to the start, and left the competition behind during his third length of the pool.  Rin curled into his final turn with lungs burning and heart racing.  His last fifty was all about Haru—up on the block, entirely focused on him, Haru’s eyes filled with the quiet intensity only he possessed.  After the fifteen-meter mark, Rin didn’t breathe until his palm was flush against the wall and Haru was shadowing him overhead, silhouetted by the bright stadium lighting.

Where Sugiyama’s swimming was technical, Haru’s was as organic and fluid as the water he loved, his body shimmering as he came up to stroke, gliding away from Rin, down the lane.  Rin climbed out, working off his goggles and both swim caps as he caught his breath.  Great Britain, Australia, and Denmark trailed Haru by more than a second, the rest of the competitors further behind.  Most teams had their best sprinter in the water; the British anchor in lane four, especially, was taking chunks out of Haru’s lead with each rapid stroke of free.  Ty was in lane five, fighting for his Australian team, but still trailing.

The meters ticked down as the clock continued to speed in a blur.

“Nanase!”  Mikoshiba was gripping Rin’s shoulder.

“Haruka-nii-san!!”  “Haru-chan!”

Rin clutched his caps and goggles, his fingertips digging into Mikoshiba’s arm.  “Haru!!”

The last twenty-five meters were all flying specks of foam and muscled pulls as Haru charged towards the finish.  Rin didn’t think either of them breathed once, Haru out-touching the British anchor for first place by 0.17 seconds as the crowd noise resounded in Rin’s ears.  Their teammates were yelling from the stands, Mikoshiba was pumping a fist skyward, and Rin dropped to his knees behind the block, reaching down towards the pool as his vision went liquid.

It was only the prelim round.  For many countries, Japan was swimming against their B-Team.  The real challenge and titles were reserved for tonight.  Rin knew all of that in his head, but his heart didn’t care.  His whole world in that moment was Haru’s hand grasping his, the warmth and pleasure in blue eyes, and the chlorinated embrace that followed.

-x-

“Nice tan line, Rin.”

“Shut up, Sousuke.”  Rin balled up his sweats, hurling them in his best friend’s face before jumping into the pool in his red and purple Málaga boardshorts.  It was only a little over waist deep, the three-sectioned leisure pool surrounded by stone tile, umbrellas, lounge chairs, palm trees, and tall apartment buildings.  Rin dunked himself once and came up slicking wet hair back from his face.  He should’ve been sick of the water by now, but he wasn’t.  How much of that had to do with the dolphin rolling playfully in the water on the opposite side of the pool, Rin didn’t bother to guess. 

Haru, in blue, green, and yellow boardshorts, was over with Makoto, swimming, chatting (Makoto seemed to do most of the talking, Haru listening), and looking utterly relaxed and content.  It was a nice break from the incessant crowds and nosy reporters.  Rin was glad—especially for Haru’s sake—that they’d been able to escape for a few hours. 

Sousuke slipped into the water next to Rin in black boardshorts, hissing slightly.  “It’s a little cold to be doing this.”

“Wuss.”  Rin splashed his best friend, which only started a water fight.  He came up laughing after getting dragged off his feet in a headlock, wiping the water from his face.  “Sousuke, you’ll ruin your hair.”

The guy frowned, touching his frazzled, spiky hair.  “I never realized how damaging chlorine was until I quit swimming.”

The breeze rippled across the water’s surface, riddling Rin’s skin with goosebumps.  There were only a couple hours of daylight left; the temperature _was_ starting to drop.  Rin stayed in the water a few minutes more before retreating to the side with Sousuke.  The two of them perched on the edge with towels, warming up.  A little way back from the pool, Rin’s mom, Mikoshiba, and Mikan were working the grill in shorts and T-shirts, the scent of freshly cooked meat and fish making Rin’s stomach rumble.  Gou, with a cover-up dress over her swimsuit, was making some kind of salad which, for the love of God better _not_ include protein powder.

“You kicked ass in the heats, Rin,” Sousuke said, scrubbing his hair with the towel and hanging it around his neck.

“Yeah, thanks.”  Rin leaned back on his hands, soaking up what sun he could with his towel draped over his head.  “I think I finally turned the corner on taper.”

“I’ll say.” 

They fell silent for a beat, Rin watching as Haru floated on the other side of the pool.  Makoto was sitting up on the side in green and gray boardshorts, smiling and talking about something.

“It’s a relief, huh?  Nanase’s wrist.”

Rin exhaled.  _You have no idea._

Sousuke smiled.  “I’m glad.  You’ve always swam your best with him.”

Rin snorted.  “Best and worst.”  Some of his darkest times and biggest regrets involved pools with Haru.  But Haru had forgiven him for those things.  He could look back without shame now, recognizing the ways he’d grown and changed and become better for it.  “But yeah.”  Rin smiled.

“I didn’t think you could do it.”  Sousuke folded his arms across his bare chest.  “I thought if you were mellow like him, you’d tank.  That you’d stop caring about times and winning and start blathering on about how the water feels.”

“Hey!”  Rin scowled at his best friend.  “I’m always gonna care about that stuff.  It’s just…”  He glanced across the pool, where Haru had his elbows up on the ledge, his face upturned and smiling as he reacted to whatever Makoto had said.  “…not everything anymore.  I’ve got bigger dreams too.”

“It looks good on you, Rin.”

“Huh?”  Rin met Sousuke’s gaze and knowing smile.

“Being in love.”

He blushed.  “Oi.”  Rin kicked the water, sending a spray of droplets over Sousuke’s calves.

Sousuke chuckled.

Rin straightened, resting his hands on the tile ledge surrounding the pool.  “What about you?  Or are you still gonna avoid my questions because _I_ need to stay focused?”

Sousuke’s face smoothed; he sighed.  “Things are gonna be messy for a while.  I’d just as soon spare you the drama.”

“Look, just…”  Rin drew a tight breath, releasing it in a puff, his cheeks heating.  “Sorry I was an ass to you about Kawamura.  He’s not a bad guy.”

“Hmph.”  Amusement gathered in Sousuke’s eyes.  “Like I’d put up with assholes, Rin.  Other than—”

“—me.”  They shared a laugh, Rin’s heart settling with relief. 

He felt someone looking at him.  Rin glanced over, meeting Haru’s gaze—Haru who was smiling at him, looking happy for him.

Rin smiled back.

“Did you decide yet?” Sousuke asked.  “About the coaching program at Koutei.”

“Mm.”  Rin crossed his arms.  “I wanna do it.  I just gotta figure out the money side of things.  Training plus that’s kind of a lot.”

“Just win a couple medals.  I bet your sponsors will be throwing checks at you.”

_Tch.  Easy for you to say._

“…Or there’s always your modeling career.”

Rin pursed his lips, unable to keep himself from thinking of a sunset beach, the last time he’d worn these boardshorts…  He cleared his throat.  “That might work.”

“I know some people.  If you want, I can introduce you when you get back to Tokyo.”

“What?”  Rin lifted both brows, glancing askance at his best friend.  “Sousuke, you…?”

Sousuke shrugged, the slowly dipping sun painting his perfectly cut upper body with golden hues and shimmering droplets of water.  “Med school’s expensive.  So I’m putting aside what I can, now.”

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Wait.  So, like, what kind of…?”

“You’d be better at selling full outfits.  You’re a little skinny and pale for underclothes.”

Heat rushed up to the tips of Rin’s ears.  “Sousuke, wh-what?”  _You’re modeling…that?_

Sousuke chuckled.  “And prudish.  Not that it’s a bad thing, Rin.”

Just the thought of traipsing around in front of a full camera crew in his underwear set his face on fire.  Swimwear was one thing—especially if Haru was involved too, but _that_ …  It was only one step above nude modeling for Haru’s art class.  _Oh, hell no._   He preferred keeping _some_ things private.

Rin lowered his voice.  “I mean, do you at least wear something under?  Like…compression briefs or…” _Or a cup or something._

Sousuke rolled his eyes.  “Not wearing stuff like that is kinda the point, Rin.  But sometimes, if they’re going for a smoother look, it can be a rolled sock or a slice of bread.”

 _What the fuck?_   “Bread?”

“Yeah.”  Sousuke shrugged.  “Bread.”

“Hey, everyone!  Food’s ready!”  Gou waved them over.  In one hand, she held a suspicious-looking silver package.

_Ugh, hopefully you limited yourself to the salad dressing, Gou._

Rin and Sousuke headed over; Haru and Makoto were the last to join, Haru still toweling off from the pool. 

“We made plenty, so everyone eat as much as you want, OK?” Rin’s mom said, handing out plates.

It was an impressive spread—meat and chunks of fish on skewers, salad, fresh fruit, and…  _Oh look, toast._ Rin groaned inwardly, pretty sure he was ruined for bread for life.

Haru gave him a puzzled look.

-x-

“You’d think crumbs would be a problem.  Or at least annoying,” Haru said.

“Right?”  Rin had an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  They headed through the doorway into the first call room in their warmups, getting in line for inspection.

Haru turned beneath his arm, facing him.  “I’m glad, Rin.  That things are better.  You were stressed before.”

Rin’s face warmed.  “Oi.”  He tackled Haru with a hug…and sighed.  “Me too,” he murmured.

Haru smiled with his eyes.

“ _You know, I’m up to like six beers and we’re only halfway through,_ ” Ty said from behind them.

Rin glanced back over his shoulder at the swimmer in green and gold, purposely not letting go of Haru.  “ _I’m sure other members of the team would be glad to give you a hand with those, Ty._ ”

“ _You’re right on that._ ”  Ty grinned, adjusting his goggles on his forehead.  “ _‘Evening, guys._ ”

Ethan joined them as they were dressing after inspection.  The semi-finals of the men’s 100m free were the first races of the night.  Haru was in the first heat with Ethan and Ty while Rin was in heat two with Damien Andrews.  Rin’s final in the men’s 200m fly was almost back-to-back with the free; only the women’s 200m free final was in between.

Damien, in his dark gray parka, arrived not long after that, though his earbuds were in and he seemed content keeping to himself. 

Haru and the Australians were headed to final call almost immediately.  It felt too soon to be saying goodbye, Rin hugging Haru tightly, their swim caps making a squeaking sound as they lingered with their foreheads pressed together.  The look they shared was all the words they needed.

Haru drew away with a smile, the excitement of the race already sparkling in his eyes.  He trailed the Australians through the doorway, leaving with one last wave.

Rin exhaled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his _sakura_ warmup jacket.  On screen, the camera slowly panned across the glowing exterior of the stadium before heading inside to follow Rio officials in blue blazers, taking their places around the pool.  After a few shots of the crowd, Rin’s heart leapt into his throat as they showed the final call room.  Haru was sitting next to Ethan and Ty, smiling with mirth in his eyes.  Ty was laughing—probably at his own joke—and Ethan was shaking his head.  It was just that one glimpse, then the camera returned to the pool and to the stands, where fans were taking pictures with the Rio Olympics mascot, Vinicius.

The women for the 200m free final arrived in first call just as the officials were starting to gather the athletes for semi-final number two. 

Takara came over, zipping up her red _sakura_ jacket after inspection.  “Good luck, Matsuoka.”  She held out a fist, her green eyes clear and confident, framed by long black lashes and waterproof mascara.

“Thanks, Sakamoto.”  They fist-bumped.  “You too.”

“Thanks.”  She smiled.

“ _Senhor Andrews.  Senhor Matsuoka_.”

Rin turned away, heading for the final call doorway as the heat list flashed up on screen.  Haru was in lane five.

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the men’s hundred meter freestyle, semi-final number one._ ”

Rin got in line behind Damien for their final ID checks, watching the screen for as long as he could.

 _“In lane eight, representing China…”  “In lane one, representing the Netherlands…”_   Italy, Russia, and Singapore followed, then Ty was headed out for lane three.  _“In lane five, representing Japan…Haruka Nanase.”_

Haru managed a wave in response to the roar of the crowd as he made a beeline for the pool. 

Rin chuckled internally.  _Dummy, we’ve done nothing but swim all day._

_“In lane four, representing Australia…Ethan McInnes.”_

Once Ethan headed out, the second heat swimmers were allowed into final call.  As soon as he was through the doorway, Rin parked himself in front of the screen, not bothering to sit down.  _Come on, Haru_.  He watched as Haru stripped down to his jammers, settling his goggles in place before kneeling by the pool to splash water on himself.  Haru’s face was as stoic as always, but Rin had a good feeling.  His national record was eight hours old, _and no one’s faster than you in the water, right?  Not even me._

Rin grinned as Haru took the yellow-roped lane beside Ethan, climbing onto the block at the long pulse of the whistle.

After the start signal, it was all over in forty-nine seconds.  Haru was in the pack for the first fifty meters, hitting the turn fourth, but he came up to a sprint for the back fifty that only Ethan could match.  The two dueled it out in lanes four and five, stroke-for-stroke, right up to the finish.  Haru’s time flashed up first—47.65.  Ethan was second—47.67.

 _Yes!_   Rin clenched a fist, cheering silently.  The camera swept in for a closeup in lane five where Haru was breathing hard and looking up at the board.  The satisfaction was subtle on his face, but Rin could see it.  He grinned as Haru turned away to accept a handshake from Ethan over the yellow lane line.

“ _Normally, one wouldn’t be so happy to lose a record._ ”  The voice, in smooth English, came from Rin’s left.

 _“Hmph.”_   Rin settled a hand on his hip, glancing aside at Damien Andrews.  _“It’s more interesting this way.”_  

The guy had his parka zipped up to his throat, his hands in his pockets.  _“Then, it doesn’t bother you that he’s better than you.”_

The words landed oddly on his psyche.  _We don’t talk in terms of who’s better.  I like it when Haru’s out in front of me, giving me something to aim for_.  But the memory that came to him was the Iwatobi swim club on a winter day, his first year of middle school…when all of his training amounted to nothing and he couldn’t beat Haru.  Rin wasn’t still sore about that—he hadn’t been in a long time.  But Damien’s assertion hit him sideways and he couldn’t help thinking about medley relay practice, with Sugiyama on fly and Haru anchoring.  …With Rin as the backup for Haru’s wrist.

 _“It’s not like that,”_ Rin said as, on screen, Haru and the other swimmers from the first semi-final headed for ID checks and the exit.  _And, anyways, you’re just trying to get under my skin.  I can’t believe I let you trip me up, even this much._   _“Haru’s always been amazing.  He’s inspired me since we were kids.”_   Rin shrugged casually.  “ _So, no.  It doesn’t bother me when he wins_.”  _I suppose I should be flattered you consider me enough of a threat that we’re even having this conversation._

“ _Well_ ,” Damien’s smile was anything but nice, “ _the two of you are just starting out.  You haven’t seen the ugly side of competing at this level yet.  When sponsors’ opportunities come around and checks start rolling in with different figures, you’ll know your worth pretty fast.  I hope it works out for you, I really do.  Because it would be a shame—you’ve got such a cute thing going on, swimming together_.”

That last bit slid between the ribs—a low blow unmatched by the worst he’d gotten from Sugiyama.  Rin weathered it with a smile.  He tilted his head side-to-side in a stretch, rubbing the side of his neck before he responded.  “ _I did think Haru was pretty cute last night, during the gold medal tie_.”

Damien’s eyes flashed with something dangerous, though his faux smile never faltered.

“ _That was a career first for you, right?_ ” Rin asked.

“ _First and only_.”

The conversation lapsed then, the two of them having a smiling staring contest—

“ _Senhor Andrews.  Senhor Matsuoka_.”

They broke away to separate lines, Rin on the left, Damien on the right. 

Rin had swimmers from Canada, Germany, and Great Britain in front of him.  He rolled his shoulders as he waited.  _Guess that was my initiation into the big leagues._ No wonder everyone who really knew this guy kept their distance.  Ninety-nine percent of what Damien said, Rin could dismiss easily.  But the guy could be right about the contracts.  Haru wouldn’t care about numbers printed on a page, but would Rin?  If the disparity were big enough, often enough…?

 _Tch_.  Rin shook out his arms, missing the weight of his bracelet on his left wrist.  _Sorry, asshole, but we’re not that fragile._   I’m _not that fragile.  I’ve got more than times and medals, now._

_“Semi-final number two.  Please welcome the athletes.”  “In lane eight, representing Brazil…”  “In lane one, representing Canada…”_

And it wasn’t just Haru—his mom and sister were here, Sousuke too, not to mention his teammates and friends.  Damien Andrews couldn’t touch any of that.  _I don’t care who you are or how many medals or records you have.  I’m not letting you._

_“In lane five, representing the United States of America…Damien Andrews.”_

Rin stepped up to the doorway on the left as the cowbell rattled and the stadium roared.

_“In lane four, representing Japan…Rin Matsuoka.”_

Rin strode out in front of the screen bearing his name, waving with both hands as people called to him from the stands.  Lowering his goggles over his eyes, he headed for his top seed spot—lane four, semi-final number two.

-x-

Forty-seven, seventy-seven was within a tenth of his personal best time.  He wasn’t riled up or upset by second place—after all, it was only the semi-finals.  Rin climbed out of the pool while Damien celebrated his 47.62 and first place finish one lane over.

“Matsuoka-kun!!”  “Rin-senpai!!” 

Rin paused to wave at Momo and the rest of his teammates before stopping by the ID check table.  From there, he entered the Mixed Zone.  Coach Akagi was waiting for him with Haru; Rin was due back at call for the 200m fly pretty much immediately.

Akagi buffered him from the media.  “Sorry, no time for questions right now.  He’ll be back after the fly final.”

Haru took his hand, a cool, searching look in blue eyes.

_You can tell, huh?_

Haru was already dressed.  At the end of the Mixed Zone, Rin grabbed his warm ups and shoes from the bin, toweling off and pulling on his clothes.

“Two minutes if you need the bathroom or anything like that, Matsuoka,” Akagi said, glancing at his watch. 

He didn’t, but Haru was pulling on his hand anyway.  They stepped out of the flow of traffic, around the corner from the Mixed Zone.

Rin smiled ruefully.  “Well, we’re officially on his radar.  I’ll tell you what he said later.”

Haru drew an audible breath.  His eyes were roiling dark seawater, his jaw flexing beneath his skin.  Haru didn’t get angry often, but when he did… 

“Hey.”  Rin tucked an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “It’s OK.  I’m OK.”  _Really._   He made sure Haru could see it in his eyes.  “Our dream—our future—isn’t fragile, right?  What can he say about it?”  _Nothing, that’s fucking what._

Haru’s eyes widened, his breath coming out slow.

“I _guess_ I can let you keep the record for twenty-four hours, Haru,” Rin said, grinning.

Haru’s expression thawed in an instant, his eyes shimmering with emotion, affection, and relief.  “Rin…”

Rin set his lips to Haru’s, the kiss brief, the hug afterwards fierce. 

Coach Akagi cleared his throat quietly.

Rin drew back, but he didn’t get far.  Warm fingers closed around his wrist, the intensity in blue eyes stealing his breath.

“I love you,” Haru said.

Rin’s insides melted.  “I love _you_ ,” he said, weaving their fingers together as they returned to their coach.

-x-

Rin went straight from inspection to final call.  Kawamura and five other swimmers were already present; they were only waiting on Damien.  The distinction wasn’t lost on Rin.  _I have to rush back here, but that guy gets to take as long as he wants._   Whatever.  He was done thinking about that asshole.

“Hey, nice race.”  Kawamura held up a fist.  He had a second-row seat, near the screen.

“Thanks.”  Rin sat down, bumping their knuckles together. 

The women’s 200m free final was already in progress, the Australian swimmer in lane seven leading at the half—barely—over the American in lane five.  Takara was in sixth place.

“Sakamoto’s looking good,” Kawamura said.  “She’ll make another personal best tonight.”

Rin nodded.  Takara was on pace, her stroke and form some of the best he’d seen from her.  She wasn’t likely to make the podium, but…  _After all you went through to be able to swim this race, I hope you feel good about getting this far.  You should._

Of note, she wasn’t swimming like she had in the heats yesterday—she looked much too smooth and relaxed.  Rin couldn’t help wondering…

Kawamura smiled.  “Something on your mind?”

“No call room drama, huh?  You and her.”

“Ah.”

Rin leaned forward, rubbing his neck.  “Sorry.  It’s not my business.  I shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s OK.  I get why you’d want to know.”  Kawamura sat back, his hands in the pockets of his warmup jacket.  “The three of us talked after the heats yesterday.  Cleared the air a bit.  It was a good conversation.”

“Oh.”  Rin lowered his hand.  “…So things are better.”  He purposely didn’t ask for specifics.

Kawamura chuckled.  “I guess she’s decided to tolerate me.  Not like it matters to me what other people think, but it’s such a waste of energy and effort—being upset.  I don’t want to be the reason someone chokes during a race if I can help it.  As much as I can help it, anyway.”

 _Yeah, you’re not a bad guy at all._ “Hey, um…”  Rin’s face heated.  “Sorry, I…uh…” _judged you, hated you…  All of those things you didn’t deserve._

“No harm done, Matsuoka.  But thanks.”

Rin exhaled, feeling absolved, cleansed…  It felt really good. 

Takara took sixth place in the end, at 1:55.35.  Damien Andrews finally decided to grace them with his presence, then Rio officials were lining them up. 

Rin got to his feet, extending his hand.  “Good luck out there.”

“Thanks, you too,” Kawamura said, smiling as they shook and headed to separate lines.

…The only problem with being friendly with Sousuke’s bedmate was a sort of sideways curiosity that wedged itself into Rin’s brain.  The guy’s hands had been places on his best friend’s body that Rin didn’t want to think about.  Just like the bread.

 _Ugh, brain—stop._   Rin squeezed his eyes shut as the line started to move.  _Cats…unicorns…butterflies…fluffy bunnies…_

-x-

Rin was sore all over by the time he hit the wall.  After a hard hundred free, two hundred meters of butterfly was a special kind of torture.  The board placed him fifth, a couple hundredths under his personal best in the event.  Damien took gold, Kawamura got silver, and a Hungarian swimmer won bronze.

Rin swam to the side and climbed out via the ladder, letting Kawamura have the moment to himself.  He did his time in the Mixed Zone, then escaped to the warm up pool for a couple laps to work the stiffness from his muscles.  That done, he rinsed off and got dressed.  He found Haru in the Athletes’ Lounge with two sports drinks and part of a couch to himself.

“Rin.”  Haru’s smile was breathtaking.  He scooted back, making room in front of him.

Rin sat down, biting his tongue to muffle a groan as Haru’s hands went straight to the knots in his muscles, to either side of his spine.  He closed his eyes, shuddering with the mind-numbing pleasure of it.  _Fuck, that feels incredible._

“Good race, Rin,” Haru whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

Rin grunted nonsensically in reply.  He was looking forward to the relay final, but snuggling in bed with Haru tonight was going to be great too.

While Haru did amazing things to Rin’s traps, the women raced in the semi-finals of the 200m fly.  Ozawa, in the second heat, took fourth place overall and qualified for the final on Wednesday.  The races were followed by the medal ceremony for the women’s 200m free.  Rin and Haru left when the ceremony started, meeting their relay teammates at the warm up pool for last minute adjustments.

They were gathering their things to head back to the call room when a JOC staffer ran into the team area, out of breath. 

“Captain Ikehara just set an Olympic record in the first semi-final!”

Rin and Haru exchanged a look, zipping up their jackets as they raced their teammates to the lounge area, crowding around the screen.  Their captain was waving from the pool, lane six, a big smile on his face as he caught his breath.  The camera switched to a shot of Team Japan in the stands, on their feet, waving their flags wildly.  Momo was hopping around in the front row, next to Sada.  Then, it was back to the pool where Ikehara was shaking hands with his competitors.

Coach Maekawa came and got them.  “It’s time, you guys.”

Rin, Haru, and Mikoshiba extracted themselves from the crowd, joining Maekawa and Sugiyama in the hall.  Coach Maekawa took them as far as inspection.  The second 200m breaststroke semi-final was won by a swimmer from Great Britain, a half second over Captain Ikehara’s time.  The women for the 200IM final were already in final call, the first call room filling in with men’s relay teams.

Rin’s cell phone was lighting up even before he got his warmups back on.  Messages appeared one after another, from Gou and his mom, from Sousuke and Nitori and his Samezuka classmates, from Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei, from Russell and Lori in Australia.  Everyone was wishing them luck in the upcoming relay final.  A lump formed in Rin’s throat immediately.  He scrolled through the messages with one hand, his fingers laced together with Haru’s as Haru did the same.

“Everyone…” Haru whispered.  His voice was hushed; Rin glanced over, meeting the moisture gleaming in blue eyes.

He grinned, squeezing Haru’s fingers, and went back to scrolling.

The medal ceremony for the men’s 200m butterfly followed the breaststroke semi-finals.  Rin, Haru, and Mikoshiba broke away from their phones long enough to watch Kawamura get his silver medal.  The guy looked kind of emotional about it; it was the first time Rin had seen him other than cool as a cucumber and wholly collected.  He recovered on the slow walk around the pool, though, accepting a Japanese flag from the crowd and smiling for photos with the flag draped across his back.

Damien, meanwhile, was posing with his third gold medal in three nights. 

 _While the rest of us are all here waiting for you again._   Rin rolled his eyes and returned to his phone.

When the medalists finally cleared the pool, the officials set up for the women’s 200 individual medley final.  Takara and Nakagawa walked out when their names were called, in lanes two and six, respectively.

The relay teams were filtering into final call, one-by-one, when Damien showed up.  Rin could’ve sworn the temperature in the room, in that moment, plummeted by at least five degrees.  Sugiyama’s gaze was ice cold. 

The two faced off in the back of the final call room, Damien back in his parka, Sugiyama in his white _sakura_ jacket and black warmup pants.

Everyone, including the rest of the United States team, backed off.  Rin stood against the wall, gripping Haru’s hand.  Not even Ethan looked interested in intervening.

 _“I heard you swam a prelim today,”_ Damien said, his smile cool with none of his usual façade.

 _“Coach’s request,”_ Sugiyama said, rolling his shoulders.  _“It was a good warm up.  We don’t all have the luxury of having others swim for us.”_

Damien scoffed.  _“Ever the excuses.  Is that what you’ll say when you lose tonight?”_

 _“I won’t need to say anything.  Our time will speak for itself.”_   Sugiyama’s jaw flexed.  _“My team is the best in Japan—the best we’ve ever had in this event.  Even if we lose, I won’t have any regrets.”_

Rin’s breath caught, his eyes flaring wide.  He heard his own words from high school.  _This is my ultimate team—_

Damien gave an exaggerated eye roll.  _“Well, good luck.  I’m glad you found something to—”_

Sugiyama turned and walked away in the middle of Damien’s sentence, leaving the guy glaring after him.

Rin blinked, still stunned, as Sugiyama joined the three of them, his cool gaze meeting each of their eyes in turn.

“Japan hasn’t medaled in this event since Tokyo in 1964,” Sugiyama said, low enough for their ears alone and in Japanese besides.  “Don’t worry about those guys.  Let’s just get it done, alright?”

“H-hai.”  Rin’s voice wavered as he answered, half-shocked, half-floored by echoes of childhood admiration.  _Is this what Nitori feels like all the time?_

“You got it,” Mikoshiba said, grinning.

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.

Sugiyama extended his fist and they did the same for a four-way fist-bump before their huddle broke apart.

As the Rio officials organized them into lines, Rin focused on breathing, slowly and steadily.

“Rin.”  Haru faced him, slipping warm arms around his midsection.  Gazing into the blue of Haru’s eyes, it slowly got easier, less overwhelming…

“Nanase.”  Sugiyama glanced back at them.

“Hai?”

“Fix him before we get out there.”

Haru rolled his eyes as if to say, _What do you think I’m doing?_   “He’s fine.”

 _Well, good.  If you weren’t still an asshole, I might actually pass out from the surprise._   Rin exhaled in a sigh, leaning his forehead against Haru’s, their goggles touching.  He flicked his eyes towards the front of their line where Sugiyama had his back to them.  “Jerk,” he muttered.

“I heard that, Matsuoka.”

Rin grinned, feeling normal again.

Takara and Nakagawa both put up personal bests in the 200 IM, just over 2:09, though it wasn’t enough to medal.  After they cleared the pool…

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the championship final for the men’s four-by-two hundred freestyle relay_.”

The Netherlands walked out first and Team Japan was announced last.  As top seed, Japan had lane four, with the United States on their right in lane three—including Damien Andrews—and Great Britain on their left in lane five.  Ty and Ethan were with the Australian team in lane seven, the remaining competitors from Russia, Germany, and Belgium.

“Rin!!”  “Haru!!”  Sousuke and Makoto were somehow the loudest of all.

Rin waved from behind the blocks with Haru.  His family and their friends were on their feet, the banner rippling as Gou hopped and waved.

The four-pulse whistle sounded over the roar of the crowd and the cowbell, sending the lead-off swimmers to the blocks.

“Noboru!”  “Sugiyama-senpai!!”

Sugiyama took the lane four block in his black and red jammers, one hand perched on his hip as he waited for the long whistle.  He looked focused and confident, not uptight in the least—it was completely different from Rome.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start please.”_

The cheering died down long enough for the whistle and the starter.

_“Take your marks.”_

Rin held his breath as the buzzer sounded.  Sugiyama’s reaction time was fast, his form perfect on the dive.  The crowd noise surged as the relay got underway.  Rin’s heart was racing already.  He gripped Haru’s hand, eager.

In the pool, Japan was second to the USA swimmer in lane three and just ahead of the Australian competitor in lane seven.  The rest of the pack was almost a full second behind.

Mikoshiba stripped down to his speedo, earning squeals from the women in the stands, especially after he splashed himself with water from the bucket.

Rin rolled his eyes and smiled.  Squeezing Haru’s fingers, he let go and sat down to remove his shoes.

Sugiyama charged the last fifteen meters to the wall, Mikoshiba diving second to the Americans and a sliver in front of the Australian swimmer.

“Sei-nii!!”  “Seijuurou!!”

Rin unzipped his warmup jacket, peeling it off along with his warmup pants.  He drew a measured breath as he lowered his goggles into place—

“—Rin.”

He glanced back, meeting the warmth, excitement, and thrill on Haru’s face.  Words weren’t needed; the look in Haru’s eyes alone sparked his memories from past races, pools, training sessions, and meals—

_Show me something good, Rin.  I love swimming relay with you.  Competing is good, but swimming together is better—_

Rin broke into a grin, turning and throwing his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “Haru, I’m supposed to tackle you _after_ the race.”

“Before’s good too.”

Rin laughed.  _I love you_.  He touched Haru’s face for a second that felt gloriously like forever as he soaked up the smile on Haru’s lips and in Haru’s eyes.

Wet footsteps approached.  “Matsuoka.”

“Hai.”  Rin pulled away, passing Sugiyama and his irritated look as he headed for the lane four block. 

He splashed water on his chest, making one last adjustment to the waistband of his leg skins before he climbed up and set his feet.

The swimmers from Australia, Great Britain, and Russia had surged ahead during Mikoshiba’s leg and the United States had more than a second’s lead on all of them.  Rin paid no attention as he leaned forward, laser focused on Mikoshiba’s final surge of free—

He started his dive—not too soon, not too late—arcing down towards the water and breaking through fingertips first—

“Onii-chan!”  “Rin-senpai!”  “Rin!”

In the sudden quiet underwater, Rin dolphin-kicked, his hands in line with the feet of the American swimmer in lane three.  He came up to stroke, setting an aggressive pace.  Fifty meters at a time, he took chunks out of that gap, determined to give Haru the best possible start against Damien and Ethan.

Rin was up to the guy’s waist at the final turn.  Surfacing with thirty-five meters left to go, he sailed through the water, racing to Haru, _for_ Haru, _for the team_.

He slapped the wall and Haru was leaping over him in streamline, his body lithe and glistening, Rin forgetting how to breathe as water flowed over his shoulder and droplets sprinkled his neck.  It was a handful of seconds before he was functional again, hoisting himself out of the water and grasping the hand Mikoshiba offered him.

“Haru!!”  “Haruka!!”  “Nanase-kun!”

Cap, goggles, cap—Rin yanked them off as he drew hard breaths, facing the pool.  Damien was out in front in lane three; Haru and Ethan were neck-in-neck, right behind him in lanes four and seven.

 _Come on, Haru.  You got this._   Rin gripped silicone with white knuckles, his eyes glued to the race.

“Nanase!”  Mikoshiba was using Rin’s shoulder for support again, not that Rin cared.

He had his breath back as Haru approached the second turn at the start blocks.  “Haru!!”

Water sparkled with light as Haru somersaulted and dug in hard, a blur beneath the water as he dolphin-kicked and came up into an all-out sprint for the last hundred meters.

Rin’s heart pounded in his chest and in his throat, his breaths coming rough and irregular as he watched Haru fly down the pool and back—

Damien still had a half-length lead as the anchors pulled out everything in the last push to the wall.  He hit first.  Haru and Ethan were one second behind, slapping the wall at virtually the same time.  Rin couldn’t tell who’d finished second vs. third, _but_ —  He stilled with the sudden shock, realizing it all at once with _five_ swimmers still racing for the finish—

 _Holy shit, we just won a medal.  My team just…  My relay team just—_   Rin’s eyes blew wide as he saw it—every relay team he’d ever been on, at Samezuka, with Iwatobi, in Australia, at Iwatobi SC, at Sano Elementary…and an old photo of his dad as a kid, holding a dolphin trophy with three other boys.

Liquid welled up in Rin’s eyes, blurring his memories.  _Dad, I just won my first Olympic medal…with my relay team._   The tears were coming and he couldn’t stop them; he couldn’t _move_ —

Mikoshiba thrust both arms into the air; Sugiyama said something that Rin couldn’t hear.  He was deaf—full-on sensory overload with a thudding heartbeat and warm tears streaking down his cheeks.  Mikoshiba hauled Haru out of the pool, crushing Haru with a hug behind the lane four start block.

Haru raked off his cap and goggles, shaking his head to clear the water.  He lifted his gaze, finding Rin—  One look at his face and Haru was running—three steps, swim caps and goggles scattering to the pool deck—

Strong, damp arms engulfed Rin and Haru’s words against his left ear were the only ones he heard.  “I’m sure he knows, Rin.”

The world rushed back to him, all color and thrill, elation and grief.  _Yeah._   Rin smiled, clutching the one he loved as his tears fell freely.

-x-

Team Japan won a bronze medal, three hundredths of a second shy of the Australians.  The Mixed Zone was a blur to Rin.  He leaned on Haru and didn’t say much; the reporters were focused on Sugiyama anyway.  Coach Maekawa was there to send them to the warm up pool afterwards for cool down.  They showered, dried off, and dressed. 

Haru tied his bracelet on for him; Rin returned the gesture.  They spent one extra minute together in the locker room, Haru brushing damp strands of hair back from his face, not saying a word—knowing Rin couldn’t handle it.

Maekawa met them outside to take them to the ceremony room on the opposite side of the pool.  They only got halfway.  Rin’s tears stirred the second he heard his mom’s voice—

“Rin!”  His mom leaned over the Rio barrier in her Team Japan polo, waving, smiling, her face damp with recent tears.  She clutched a handkerchief in one hand, her plum-colored hair falling in loose, soft waves to her shoulders. 

Rin sniffed hard, letting go of Haru to join her. 

Miyako’s face crumpled, her smile like sunrise, her eyes welling with liquid as she hugged him tight.  “Honey, we’re—”  Her voice broke softly and she had to start again.  “We’re both so proud.”

Rin bit down on a trembling lower lip, fresh tears cascading down his cheeks.  He hugged her back fiercely, squeezing his eyes shut as she cried in his arms.

At some point, Rin wasn’t sure when, Miyako got a hand free and Haru was there, with an arm wrapped around Rin’s waist, steady and sure.

Rin’s mom drew back, dabbing her face quickly with her handkerchief.  She rose up on her tiptoes, kissing both of their foreheads.  “Go, get your medals.  I’m going back upstairs to watch.”  She pushed them away.

Haru took his hand again as Maekawa ushered them towards the ceremony waiting room.  They checked in and claimed seats.  Haru pulled a tissue packet from the pocket of his warmup pants.

Rin arched a brow.  “Have you been carrying that around this whole time?”

Haru shook his head as he drew a tissue free.  “No.  Just tonight.”

“Haru…”  Rin drew an uneven breath.  “Give me that.”  He snatched the tissue to blow his nose and dry his eyes while Haru smiled.

-x-

_“Les médaillés de bronze, représentant le Japon.”  “The bronze medalists, from Japan.”  “Os medalhistas de bronze, representando o Japão.”_

They stepped up together—Sugiyama, Mikoshiba, Rin, and Haru—hands clasped and held high as music played and the crowd cheered.

_“Noboru Sugiyama.”_

On the left, Sugiyama bowed, receiving his medal from the IOC official and shaking the man’s hand.

_“Seijuurou Mikoshiba.”_

Mikoshiba was next…then it was Rin’s turn.

_“Rin Matsuoka.”_

He bent his head, letting the official slip the multi-colored lanyard around his neck, feeling the weight of the medal immediately.  Rin shook the official’s hand and straightened, touching the medal, pressing it to his chest.

_“Haruka Nanase.”_

Haru got his medal last, then the FINA official passed out the Rio emblems. 

The camera crew in front motioned for them to gather close for pictures.

Team Japan came together, Rin holding his emblem and medal in one hand, his other arm draped across Haru’s shoulders.  Haru held him about the waist while Mikoshiba slung an arm around his neck.  Leaning on Haru and his friends with his family watching, Rin grinned for the camera, his ears full of the cheering crowd…and in his mind he imagined the one voice that wasn’t present.

Rin lifted his gaze skyward and held his medal up, his heart full to overflowing, smiling as more tears slid down his face.

_This one’s for you, Dad._


	34. Love, in fifty-meter increments, Part 2

* * *

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

* * *

It was 3am.  The wind pushed loose strands of hair against Rin’s cheek and rippled across his _sakura_ warmup jacket.  The relay medal hung around his neck, its weight still new enough to be foreign and a constant reminder of the last several hours.  The night—or, rather, morning—was overcast and starless with low, heavy clouds that promised later rain.  Their private balcony faced the darkened transportation mall and hills beyond, with most of the blue-white glow of the Athletes’ Village on the periphery. 

After three all-out races, the medal ceremony, pictures, press conference, and all the follow-on, Rin was tired but very awake.  The fatigue he felt was heart-deep, not merely physical.  The thrill, adrenaline, and emotion had faded.  He was left with the sky above him and a stillness inside that ached—softly and quietly—every so often.

Rin rested his forearms against the cold metal rail, leaning into the bracing wind.   _I did it, Dad.  I achieved the dream we shared._   Olympic swimmer…Olympic medalist.  The Matsuoka name would be written in the history books; what he’d achieved here at these Games couldn’t be taken away from him or erased.  He’d stood on the podium in front of the watching world, proving to everyone that he was one of the elite, one of the best swimmers in this generation.  The 200m free—relay or otherwise—wasn’t even his best race.  There were more events to go—more chances to medal and to show the world who he was and what he was capable of.  But, right now…

 _I knew this dream couldn’t bring you back to me._   The wind gusted, buffeting him briefly, though it couldn’t move the medal resting against his chest.  Intellectually, he’d known that for years.  But his heart believed what it wanted to, without Rin even realizing it.  Though there had been miracles in a sense—ways his dad had returned to him in memories, pictures, and the envelope on his nightstand—but the longing and _loss_ didn’t go away with their dream fulfilled.  The recognition that he could be this close but still impossibly far brought Rin fresh pain, a sharp echo of what he’d felt just after his father died.

He didn’t fight, dismiss, or ignore the grief this time.  _It’d be weird if I felt nothing._ The pain was proof of their bond, their love.  From that perspective, he could breathe and move forward.  These feelings weren’t the weakness he always thought they were.  They were part of him, nothing to be ashamed of.  Time might take the sting away, _but I’ll always miss you, Dad._   That was fine.

Rin heard the click of the door as Haru finished up in the bathroom and bare feet against the laminate wood flooring.  The lights in their bedroom dimmed but didn’t go out.  When the breeze died down momentarily, the rustling of clothes and sheets was audible.  Haru didn’t come outside, respecting Rin’s need to be alone, giving him space.

As crazy as it was, all those years ago…  _Switching schools in the middle of sixth grade for the chance to swim together—who does that?_   Rin smiled at his own absurdity, at the lengths he’d gone to swim that first relay with Haru.  _I’m glad I did it._

It was a while later when Rin finally came inside, silently closing the sliding glass door behind him.  He drew the curtains, their room illuminated by the soft glow of the reading lamp by Rin’s bed.  Haru was curled up, tucked beneath the blue Rio comforter.  His right hand, the leather bracelet on his wrist, rested on his pillow beside his head, fingers slightly bent and relaxed.  On Haru’s nightstand, next to his phone, were his two Rio medals, the gold shining more brilliantly than the bronze.

 _Hmm…_   Rin touched the solitary bronze medal hanging around his neck, his lips pursed in consideration.  Smiling to himself, he turned away from the sight of Haru sleeping peacefully and headed into the bathroom. 

He washed up and changed for bed, wincing as he crossed the air-conditioned room in his underwear.  Rin carefully folded the colorful Rio lanyard, laying his medal atop it on his nightstand—right by the framed picture and the envelope with his dad’s handwriting.  He reached for the blanket and paused, noting a conspicuous lump under the covers on his bed.  With one brow lifted, Rin drew the sheets back…

The stuffed dolphin was waiting for him.  Rin smiled.  _You got that out of my suitcase, huh?_   Suspicious, he leaned over, ever so carefully lifting the corner of Haru’s blanket—

The shark plush was tucked into the crook of Haru’s left arm, cuddled to his chest.  The warmth inside Rin grew.  He smoothed Haru’s blanket into place, climbing into bed and stretching out facing the one he loved.  “‘Night, Haru,” he whispered and reached up for the lamp, flicking it off.  Rin closed his eyes, falling asleep with a smile on his lips and the stuffed dolphin in his arms.

-x-

He stirred to the feathered scrapes of pencil on paper…and something fuzzy touching his cheek.  Rin shifted slightly as he labored to open his eyes, only to find a maw of white fabric teeth just off the end of his nose.  The stuffed shark was perched on his chest while the dolphin was still under the covers with him, squished by his arm. 

“Haru…”  Rin slid his eyes askance.  _I know you put this here…_  

The room was lit by indirect daylight, the curtains parted near the foot of the bed.  Haru was sitting up next to him, wearing Rin’s gray Bondi Beach T-shirt, with a worn blue sketchbook open across his lap.  At the interruption, Haru lifted his pencil from the page, resting its rounded end against his lower lip in a way that was all manner of distracting—especially paired with a cool flick of eyes in Rin’s direction.  He lowered the pencil, brushing erasure bits from his paper.  “‘Morning, Rin.”

 _Playing innocent, huh?_   Rin quirked a brow.  “What’re you drawing?”  He readied himself beneath the blankets, preparing to pounce—

Haru closed the sketchbook with a snap, slipping off the bed with a spicy look tossed over his shoulder.  “My water.”

“Oi!”  Rin lunged but missed and had to settle for winging the shark toy at Haru as he escaped.  At least his aim was decent—the stuffed shark bounced off Haru’s backside before falling to the floor. 

Haru paused en route to his suitcase, considering the projectile for a beat before he scooped it up and tucked both the toy and his sketchbook into his bag.

Rin climbed out of bed and spent a moment straightening their blue Rio bedspreads.  He set the dolphin on his nightstand, behind the picture.  “What time is it?” he asked, finger-combing strands of hair into something presentable.

“Almost noon.”  Haru returned, wrapping his arms around Rin’s waist from behind.  His warmth was heavenly in the cool room, the kiss to Rin’s shoulder sending pleasant shivers raking down Rin’s spine.

“You don’t, uh…”  Rin’s face heated as he looked back over his shoulder.  “…turn in stuff like that, right?”

Haru shook his head.  “That book isn’t for assignments.  It’s just for me.”

Rin blushed harder.  “Tell me there aren’t naked sketches in there.”

Haru met his gaze, his blue eyes twinkling.  “There could be, if you posed for me.”

Rin rolled his lower lip between his teeth.  _You did say you’d make it worth my while…_   “Maybe.  For a special occasion.”  _Like in Sydney or something._

“Really?”  Haru’s eyes lit. 

“Don’t look so happy about it!”  Rin twisted in Haru’s embrace, glaring mildly as he settled his arms around Haru’s shoulders. 

“I’d like it, Rin,” Haru said, smiling.  “If you tried, just for me.”

Fresh heat rushed to Rin’s face.  _Hey, now…_   “If it means that much to you…”  He exhaled hard.  “Don’t hold out on me tonight in the hundred free and I’ll do it.”

Haru’s face smoothed.  “I never hold out on you.”

“You’re the one who said gold medals are annoying.”

“It’s not as bad when you’re on the podium with me.”  Haru shrugged. 

Rin drew a breath.  “Haru…”

Haru’s gaze warmed as he pulled Rin closer.  “What about you?”  He lowered his voice, his eyes slipping to Rin’s mouth.  “What do you want, Rin?”

The words alone brought Rin a tantalizing brush of pleasure.  _You and me, naked, anywhere…_   He caught Haru’s lips, starting slow…then using the tip of his tongue to nudge his way inside.  _And no stupid rule between us._

Haru kissed him back, their mouths melding with lazy glides of tongue, their arms tightening around each other—

It was too soon for both of them when they parted, Rin savoring the feel of Haru’s measured breath against his lips and the heat in blue eyes.

“Let me think about it,” he said.

-x-

“Nanase-kun!”  “Matsuoka-kun!”  There was a whole crowd of Japanese fans against the barriers on the first floor of the Aquatic Centre, waving Olympic news magazines and markers.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, surveying the gauntlet with Haru.  _Guess the word’s out_.  It didn’t help that they were wearing their full warmups, given the cooler day, and couldn’t have been more recognizable.

Haru checked his phone, Rin wondering if Gou and the others had given up and gone upstairs.  When Haru pocketed the device with a shrug, Rin smiled ruefully.  

“Ready?”

Haru exhaled.  “I guess.”

…Rin’s fingers were cramping by the time they were three-quarters of the way down the line.  Haru had it worse—many of the fans had Tuesday’s magazine with his photo on the cover (technically Rin was in the picture too, but fans wanted the gold medalist’s autograph).  The rest had today’s.  Japan’s 4x200m free relay team hadn’t made the frontpage, but they did have a good photo in the swimming section.  In every picture Rin had seen from last night, he was either about to cry, crying, or had just finished drying his face…the magazine pic was from the post-tears category.  It was taken during their victory lap around the pool, the four of them holding their bronze medals for the camera and sharing Japanese flags draped across their shoulders.  Rin and Mikoshiba were grinning, Sugiyama was sort of smiling—in a _I’m-too-cool-to-really-smile_ kind of way—and Haru was looking at Rin and not at the camera. 

Rin signed each magazine that was placed in front of him, accepting the well-wishes of their fans—

…Until he got to a picture that already had writing on it:  _‘Mikoshiba Seijuurou’_ with hearts and ‘ _xoxo_.’  Rin quirked a brow, lifting his gaze to his sister’s face.  “Gou, what…?”

“Hi, Onii-chan!”  Wine-colored bangs swept across her brow as she tilted her head, smiling at him in her _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirt with an unzipped sweatshirt over top. 

“Why do you want my autograph?” Rin muttered, taking the marker she held.  It didn’t escape his notice that she’d managed to snag signatures from most of the USA and Australian teams also, including Damien Andrews.  “Did you have to get _that guy_ to sign it?”

Team USA had the largest photo on the page and Damien’s smile was just as blinding as his gold medal.

“He was so nice!”

 _Tch_.  Rin signed his name in English, just because he was annoyed.

Haru appeared at his side.  “You got a lot of autographs, Gou,” he said as Rin handed him the marker.

“I know!  Isn’t it great?  Hana-chan will be so jealous!”  Gou touched her cheek and sighed dreamily.  “I’m gonna frame it and hang it on the wall in our dorm.”

Rin snorted.  “Here I thought you’d be making a Rio 2016 muscles scrapbook or something…”

“Oh!  That’s what these are for!”  Gou’s eyes sparkled as she showed them her tote bag, stuffed with all sorts of Rio-themed periodicals.  “It’s going to be epic!”

_I’m sorry I asked._

“Where’s everyone?” Haru asked, handing back the marker and magazine.

Gou tucked both items carefully into her bag.  “Mom’s upstairs.  Makoto-senpai and Mika-senpai were keeping an eye on Sousuke…”

Rin sighed.

“Hopefully they found him by now.”  Gou tapped her chin thoughtfully for a moment, then her face lit.  “Oh, for later—we were gonna try going to _Pedra do Pontal_.  It’s down on the beach, where they’re doing the cycling time trials.  That’ll be over by the time we get there, but it’s good to do _some_ sightseeing before we leave tomorrow.” 

Rin pressed his lips.  _Right, tomorrow’s Thursday already._   Beside him, Haru fell quiet.

“Our hosts have been so nice.  They even took us to Ipanema this morning.  I mean, none of us have gotten any sleep, but it’s _so_ worth it.”

“I’m surprised you’re functioning at all,” Rin said.

Gou laughed.  “Well, I’ve had like two coffees already.  Or was it three?”  She paused, frowning.  “I can’t remember.  Anyways, do you think you can make it?”

Rin glanced at Haru, whose face was still clouded.  “Ah.  We’ll figure it out.”

“Great!”  Gou threw her arms around Rin’s shoulders, hugging him briefly.  “We’ll text about where to meet and when.”  She let go, adjusting the strap of her bag.  “I’m gonna head upstairs too, since it’s almost time.  See you later, Onii-chan!  Haruka-nii-san!”  She scampered away, waving and squeezing through the crowd.

It seemed like a good opportunity for them to escape, too.  Rin flashed a smile and waved at their fans as he took a step from the barrier.  But Haru didn’t budge when Rin pulled on his hand.

“It’s OK, Rin,” Haru said with a breath, tugging his hand free and going back to the line of people.  A boy wearing a Team Japan hat was next, clutching his copy of the news magazine and standing with his mother.  Haru went over to him—the kid couldn’t even be ten years old, in Rin’s estimation—and smiled, taking the magazine and marker.  “What’s your name?”

The boy’s face brightened like the midday sun.  “I’m Kaito.”

Haru uncapped the marker and wrote on the magazine.  “Thanks for coming out today, Kaito-kun.  I’m Haruka.”

“Ga—ganbatte, Nanase-senshu!”

Rin relaxed as he watched.  _You’re so good with kids._   He knew Haru was unhappy that Makoto and the others were leaving tomorrow, but _if you’re really this OK with it…_   Rin returned to the barrier, smiling to himself as he accepted another magazine and marker offered by a fan.  _You’ve come so far, Haru.  Mr. Gold-medals-are-annoying._

-x-

They made it into the stands to join their teammates a few minutes after 1pm, the heats of the women’s 100m freestyle already underway, though they hadn’t missed Sada’s race—she wasn’t swimming until the sixth heat.  Rin and Haru claimed seats in the third row, next to Captain Ikehara.

“‘Afternoon, Captain,” Rin said, letting Haru have the aisle as they sat down.  “Congratulations again, for last night.”

Captain Ikehara looked up from his phone, smiling.  “Thanks.  You guys too.”  But he seemed atypically distracted. 

“Something wrong?” Rin asked.

Ikehara sighed.  “No…”  He sat back, slipping his phone into his pocket, his expression sheepish.  “It’s not very productive, checking the flight tracker every five minutes.” 

 _I can relate to that one_.  Only he’d been hitting refresh every two minutes during Haru’s flight from Lyon to Málaga in July.

“Did you talk to them before they got onboard?” Haru asked.

The captain nodded.  “Yeah.  Manami was being fussy.  She usually does well on flights, but these ones are so long.”  He brushed a hand through his hair, the copper highlights glinting.  “And for her to be upset even before leaving Japan…”  Ikehara folded his arms over his _sakura_ warmup jacket like he couldn’t figure out what to do with himself. 

“Rin’s a fussy traveler too,” Haru said.

“Oi!”  Rin glared at his boyfriend askance.

Haru shrugged like, _what?  You are._   “Your mom said so.”

Ikehara gave a half-hearted chuckle.  “Well, let me know if your mother has any good advice for traveling with a three-year-old, Matsuoka-kun.”

“Ehh…”  Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “We stopped traveling after that, so it apparently wasn’t great.  And that was only Japan to Sydney.”

Ikehara’s face smoothed as he exhaled again.  “I feel guilty, making Chiyo do this by herself.  It seems like I’m never there for the hard stuff.”  The captain fell silent after that, looking down at the race going on in the pool, though Rin doubted he was actually seeing it.

 _I guess…I get that._ For ten years, his dad was always around.  _…But I would trade it in a heartbeat—all the traveling and training taking you away from us—if you were still here now._

Down below, the fifth heat of the women’s 100m free had just finished, the Australian swimmer in lane four—and World Record holder—setting a new Olympic Record, sub-53 seconds.  After they cleared the pool, the women for the sixth heat came out—Sada had lane two. 

The Team Japan stands felt sparse today with so many of their teammates swimming in the heats.  Once the 100m free was complete, the Mikoshiba brothers would be up in the 200m backstroke, followed by Otani and Ozawa in the 200m breaststroke.  Koda had the 200IM after that, the afternoon heats closing with the women’s 4x200m free with Sada, Furuta, Akamine, and Takara.

Konishi, Nakagawa, and Kawamura were in the row ahead of Rin.  The women cheered while Kawamura yawned.  Rin could guess the reason for the guy’s fatigue.  The 200m fly silver medalist had gotten plenty of attention last night in the dining hall.

_“Take your marks.”_

The starter buzzed and Sada dove.  Her quick down-and-back was solid, fourth in her heat and sub-54 seconds.  Her time qualified for the semi-finals.  She and the other swimmers in her heat cleared the pool deck while the officials set up the backstroke flags.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the heats of the men’s two hundred meter backstroke.”_

Rin couldn’t help but wonder if Momo had made any more bets about racing for kisses in the call room.  At least it took Momo’s attention off Gou, though…would Mikoshiba try the same thing?  The guy _had_ signed his name with a lot of x’s next to the o’s…  Rin scowled at the thought.

Momo was in the second heat, in lane six. 

“Momotarou-kun!”  “Momo!!”  “Momotarou!!”

The kid bounced around behind the block in his speedo like an excited puppy, waving with a huge grin on his face.

 _Settle down, dummy_.

At the long whistle, the swimmers jumped into the pool and climbed up to the start holds.  Momo managed to be still long enough for the buzzer…and then he sprinted for two hundred meters.  Well, a hundred and seventy-five meters.  Momo tired at the end— _of course you did, idiot—_ and fell behind, hitting fifth in his heat.  Rin facepalmed.  _This is why we don’t let you have coffee._

In the pool, Momo draped himself backwards over the lane line, whining dramatically as his competitors celebrated and started to clear the pool.

Rin cupped his hands around his mouth.  “ _Momo!_ ”

The kid’s head popped up.  He grinned sheepishly and slithered underwater, surfacing at the side of the pool.  Momo climbed out and scampered towards the exit. 

Rin rolled his eyes.  “Do you think the coaching program will tell me how to deal with him?” he asked, glancing at Haru.

Haru’s eyes warmed.  “You’re better with him than you think, Rin.”

“Nn.”

The third heat was won by a swimmer from the United States, then the fourth and final heat walked out…

“Seijuurou!”  “Sei-nii!”  “Mikoshiba-kun!”

The guy stripped with flourish behind the block for lane three…then he was blowing kisses and waving towards the stands on the far end of the pool.

“Look, your future brother-in-law.”

“Shut up, Haru.”

If anything, Mikoshiba had it rough.  They’d been up so late with the 4x200 free ceremony and press conference, to then turn around for early heats the next day…  The guy’s performance should’ve suffered, but Mikoshiba had always been ridiculous.  He finished second in his heat, in seventh place overall, while Momo was fourteenth.  The siblings both made the semi’s.

Rin’s phone buzzed in his pocket with a text.  He pulled it out—

The message was from Sousuke.  _[I’m going deaf from all the squealing, between your sister and Mikoshiba’s.]_

Rin smiled.  _[Ear plugs?]_

_[Already wearing them.]_

He chuckled. 

Following the men’s backstroke heats, Otani and Ozawa did well in their respective heats for the 200m breaststroke.  In the heats for the 200IM, Koda took sixth overall with a leisurely time compared to his personal best. 

Just before 2:30pm, Momo and Mikoshiba joined the team in the stands in time for the women’s relay.

“Sada-san!!”  Momo was in his white _sakura_ jacket and a pair of black shorts, wiggling around in the front row despite Mikoshiba’s headlock.

“Momotarou-kun, we can’t see,” Konishi said.

“Hee.”  The kid grinned sheepishly, scratching his damp hair as Mikoshiba wrestled him down into a seat.  “Sorry, Konishi-san.”

Sada was leading off for this relay, climbing onto the block for the start in lane six, in heat one.  Waiting behind her in red _sakura_ jackets were Furuta and Akamine, with Takara anchoring.

Kawamura leaned forward.  “Sada!”

Sada set her feet in her black and _sakura_ kneeskins, her whole body taut and focused as the starter raised the microphone.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

She was off the block fast at the signal, smooth underwater, and surfaced to an aggressive but solid pace.  Rin knew she’d be good for it and wouldn’t tire too soon, having practiced with her for weeks.  Sada shot ahead of the Canadian swimmer in lane seven, on pace with the Chinese swimmer in lane five while Australia led the pack in lane three.  Sada’s leg was solid.  She hit second at the end of two hundred meters, Furuta taking over for Team Japan.

They slipped to fourth during Furuta’s leg, coming back to third by the time Akamine hit the wall and Takara dove as anchor.  All of Takara’s extra training in the 200m was paying off as she brought it home in second place, a few hundredths behind the Australians.

“Takara!”  Haru’s voice melded with Mikoshiba’s and Sousuke’s as Takara thrust a fist into the air, still in the pool. 

When she climbed out, captured into a hug by the rest of her teammates, Rin couldn’t help smiling.  It was nice to see her in such a good mood, so thrilled and excited, and it was infectious—even Sada looked abnormally happy.

“She lights up the team like you do,” Haru murmured.

“Huh?”  Rin glanced aside, finding Haru smiling next to him.

“When she’s not sulking.”

Rin pursed his lips, eyeing his boyfriend.  _What are you insinuating, Haru?  I don’t fucking sulk._

Haru’s gaze brightened with mirth.

“ _Oi!_ ”

Haru laughed, taking his hand.  “I didn’t say anything about you, Rin.”

 _Tch_.  Rin exhaled through his nose, but it was really hard to be irritated when Haru was busy weaving their fingers together.

-x-

 _Pedra do Pontal_ was southwest of the Olympic Park and the Athlete’s Village, right on the beach—a spit of sand jutting out into the ocean where a dome of rock and greenery rose from the sea.  Earlier rains left the gentle incline slick; Rin had his mother’s hand, watching her footing carefully as they ascended in their tennis shoes.  Up ahead, Makoto had death grips on one of Haru’s arms and one of Mikan’s, making Rin wonder if acrophobia was something to add to Makoto’s list of fears.  Mikoshiba and Gou were trailing behind—Rin purposely wasn’t looking back there—and Sada, Momo, Sousuke, and Takara had already climbed out of view.  If Momo didn’t end up in the ocean and Sousuke didn’t get stranded out here on the rock, it was going to be a miracle.

“Oh!”  A loose pebble tumbled out from beneath Miyako’s foot.

Rin caught his mom easily, steadying her with a hand on her side.

She smiled up at him, her wine-colored hair—caught into a ponytail—swaying with the breeze.  A red plaid blanket was draped over her shoulders like a shawl.  “Thanks, honey.” 

They continued hiking until they got to a flatter section where the vegetation made it easier to move around.  From here, the view back to the shore—two sections of beach sweeping outward, buildings interspersed with green, and emerald mountains in the background—was gorgeous even under overcast skies.  Bright orange Rio 2016 banners and white tents were arranged in clusters along the shoreline where the road ended; the cycling time trials had finished a while ago, but the crowds lingered.

“Ah, I should’ve brought a better camera.”  Miyako broke away from him, pulling out a small burgundy camera—the same model as Gou’s pink one—and started snapping pictures of the view.

Rin stayed close by, zipping up his sweatshirt against another bit of wind.  So far, street clothes had done wonders for staying incognito.  Plus, Haru with his camera bag made them look like a bunch of serious tourists.

The others went on, but Rin’s mom seemed content to have gone this far.  She spread her blanket on a bit of dirt and grass and sat down.  Rin joined her, listening to the sounds of his friends’ laughter and chatting in the distance.  As long as no one was screaming, it was probably fine…

Miyako pulled the panels of her rain jacket tighter around herself, her knees bent.  She smiled.  “It’s been so nice, getting to spend time with you and Haruka.  I didn’t think it would work out.”

“Mn…”  Rin raked a hand through his hair.  “Sorry it’s not much.”

Miyako shook her head.  “I know how these things go, Rin.  Remember, I used to do this a lot.  It was rare that I got to see your dad for any significant length of time.  But me and the other Plus One’s got to know each other pretty well.  We used to do all of the sightseeing and shopping while the athletes trained and tapered.”  She chuckled.  “And a whole lot of drinking, to be honest.”

Rin braced his hands behind him, leaning back.  “Then…there weren’t kids traveling too, huh?”  His fingertips curled against the blanket.

“No, this was college and just after.  None of us had kids yet.  We were all really young.”  The look on her face was wistful and nostalgic.  “Like you guys now.”  She tucked loose strands of hair behind her right ear.  “It’s exciting to think about all the adventures you’ll go on.  I’m glad I could be here to see you off at the start.”  Her smile sweetened.  “Your dad…  You know he would’ve been beside himself with glee.  And _completely_ overbearing.”  Her eyes danced with mirth.  “He would’ve buried you in travel books and pocket language guides.  He would’ve had maps of every venue and translations of food items in at least six different languages—so you would’ve known exactly what to eat to stay on diet and what to avoid.”

Rin’s face heated.  He sat up, rubbing his neck as he thought of the scores of emails he’d sent to Haru, back in May.  “Uhh…”

“He really…”  She trailed off, her brow furrowing and eyes starting to glisten.

Rin scooted closer, slipping an arm around her shoulders.

Miyako inhaled hard and fanned her face.  “I’m OK.  I promised myself no tears today.  At least, not right now.”  She gathered herself with a breath and smiled again.  “You surprised me the last couple days with your swimming.”

“Hm?”

“With the two hundred free and fly.  I thought you’d be more upset—not winning.  But you bounced back immediately and never looked that disappointed.”

“Mm…”  Rin pondered her words for a moment.  “Haru got that medal, so…”

“Injuries—big things like that—have a way of changing what’s most important, don’t they?”

Rin stilled, barely breathing as he looked at her, feeling like she was seeing right through him.  “Did Dad ever…?”

Miyako shook her head.  “His back bothered him off and on, but it never got to the point of needing treatment.  We had friends who went through things like that, though.”

 _Dad…_   Rin rubbed his shoulder with his free hand, just to the left of his spine.

“By the way!”  His mother’s face brightened.  “I had an interesting conversation with your coach yesterday.”

“Coach Brown?”

“No, your coach here—Coach Fujino.”

_Huh?_

“He told me he’s been discussing Koutei’s coaching degree program with you.  That he gave you admission materials and really thought you’d shine in collegiate or other professional coaching.  I think he hoped I’d be able to help convince you.”

Rin inhaled slowly.  “Coach Fujino said that?”

“But I told him, ‘Well, _my_ son makes decisions instantly and never needs to consult with anyone, so—’”

Rin choked on his own saliva.  “You said _that?_ ”  To Coach _Fujino?_

Miyako laughed.  “Rin, I’m kidding.  _Of course not_.  I said I’d ask you about it, though you do often make up your mind pretty quickly about these things.”

“Ehh…”  Rin winced, though the mortification faded.

“So?  Do you want to?”

Rin hesitated.  “It’s expensive.”

Miyako twisted beneath his arm to look at him.  “That’s not what I asked.”

Rin met her gaze.

“I know you always felt you needed to worry about the family finances, but I never wanted that for you, Rin.  I looked at the numbers.  It’d be tight but not unmanageable.  We can make it work.”

“But—”

“Nope.  I’m your mother and I get to have final say in some things.”

Rin closed his mouth.  There was no point trying to argue with her when she pulled that one.

“So…?”  Miyako leaned close, peering at him.  “You’ve already decided.  I can see it on your face.”

Ngh…  _Why can everyone just read my face?_   Rin exhaled.  “I want to.”

She smiled.

Rin glanced away, towards greenery swaying in the breeze and the waves rippling against the shore, below.  “…To be honest, I didn’t think it was for me, but over the last several months, working with our coaches…”  _Not to mention Haru’s encouragement…_   “I want to give it a shot.  I want to see if I could be good at it.”

His mother didn’t answer.  When he looked back, there was surprise on her face.

“Sorry, I just…”  Pleasure warmed her features.  “I’m used to you being sure you can do everything you set your mind to.  You really took your time and thought about this, didn’t you?”

“Well…”  Rin’s face heated again.  “It’s my future.  It’s kind of important.”

Miyako chuckled.  “I don’t mean like _that_ , Rin.”  Her gaze softened.  “I didn’t know you were looking that far.  Beyond Rio.  Beyond swimming.”

“It’s not like I’ve got everything sorted out.  But I know what I want.”  _Haru and family and Someday._ “I want to start preparing now.”

His mom looked away, brushing more wind-swept strands of hair from her cheek.  “You’ve…grown up these past few months.”  She sniffed lightly.  “Sometimes when I see you, you’re so much like your dad.  …But that’s just the start and there’s so much more to you, Rin.  It’s great to see you finally having dreams of your own.”

Rin’s eyes widened momentarily.  He caught his lips between his teeth, fighting a sudden surge of emotion.  “You…knew?”  _That I was chasing Dad’s dream…trying to find him again._

Miyako nodded.  “And I couldn’t deal with it before, but now…  He’d be so proud, Rin.  As much as he wanted this for you—and he did—” she reached up, patting his arm.  “…This was never _all_ he wanted for you.  He’d be…” her voice faltered quietly, “so glad.  To see you now.  To see who you’re going to be.”

Rin closed his eyes, emotion rising in his chest.  _Dad…_   But the warmth was tempered by the question that he’d been asking himself for months.  _Why?  Why did you give up swimming?  Why didn’t you do it all?_   Rin swallowed.  It was a good opportunity—his mom being here, their private conversation.  He drew a breath, opening his mouth—but the words stuck in his throat and a cold sweat broke out beneath his collar and on his palms.  It reminded him of the feeling he got last Friday when they were practicing the fifty free and trying to go breathless…

Rio wasn’t over.  Even though he was _sure_ the answer couldn’t be as bad as he feared, the question stayed trapped in his heart.  _I’m not ready_.  The admission was honest and frustrating, because he _should_ be ready, he _should_ be able to handle anything— 

 _Don’t be so hard on yourself, Rin._   –That’s what Haru would’ve said. 

The tension faded as he thought of Haru’s voice—of Haru holding him as they sat in the grass at Ibirapuera Park in São Paulo, or on the ridge off the trail in Sierra Nevada.  _I knew this journey wasn’t going to be easy or instantaneous.  I was brave enough to start because you were with me._ Calm washed through him, the weight leaving his shoulders as the breeze sifted through his hair.  _I’ll get there, someday._

“Rin?”

“Hm?”  He opened his eyes, meeting the soft, delighted smile on his mother’s face. 

She squeezed his hand.  “Thanks.  For sharing with me.”

Heat blossomed in his cheeks again.  “Mom…”  How was it that moms had the amazing, innate ability to make _any_ moment sentimental and therefore instantly embarrassing?

Miyako giggled like she knew and was doing it on purpose.  Rin was not surprised.

-x-

They headed back just before dark, miraculously not losing anyone to the sea or leaving anyone stranded on the rock (though Momo did look like he’d wrestled with half the vegetation on the slopes and lost).  The bus drove up the _Av. Salvador Allende_ , the Olympians departing at the station in front of the Athletes’ Village while their family and loved ones stayed onboard.

Rin took the first shower when they got back to their apartment, scrubbing off dust, sand, and insect repellant under blazing hot water that Haru wouldn’t go near.  When he was done, Haru took his turn.

After drying off, Rin pulled on fresh underwear, a tank top, and his sleep pants.  He paused in front of his suitcase, taking a deep breath…  The navy-blue Koutei admissions folder was tucked carefully into a separate compartment where it wouldn’t accidentally get bent.  Taking it out and grabbing a pen, he sat cross-legged on the bed and opened the glossy cover…

Haru found him like that, with paperwork spread across his knees and a towel draped over his head.  Rin looked up when Haru stopped at the foot of the bed…

Haru was still in his square legs, his skin sprinkled with water.  He’d paused with a towel in hand, midway through drying his left arm.

Haru looked quietly at the papers for a moment; then he met Rin’s gaze—  The smile Haru gave him was beautiful, with such happiness in blue eyes that it made Rin’s heart ache.  In Haru’s smile, Rin saw _sakura_ buds in early spring, when the dead of winter was over and the first blush of color returned, filled with the promise of everything new and possible…  Rin felt like that, too.

-x-

Nearly half of the Japanese team was participating in the late-night semi-finals and finals.  Rin was already in the pool with Haru, several laps into their warm up routine, when Team USA—and Damien Andrews—arrived.  It was always a production—the entourage, the cameras flocking to the Americans, Damien’s dazzling smile lighting up the room…  Anyone who wasn’t currently underwater knew the exact moment the guy came in. 

Rin rolled his eyes behind his goggles, clinging to the start holds with one hand as he took a short break. 

Haru surfaced beside him in the same lane, droplets landing on Rin’s skin as Haru lifted his goggles to his forehead, bobbing in the water. 

Rin turned his back on the top seed American.  _No way I’m letting you distract me tonight._ Nothing was going to come between him and Haru and tonight’s hundred meter free. 

Haru glanced across the pool.  “Rin, can we stretch a bit?”

Rin tugged his goggles down to his throat.  “Ah.”

They climbed out of the warm up pool, returning to Japan’s team area between Finland and South Africa.  After toweling off and pulling on their _sakura_ jackets to ward off a chill, they claimed one of the mats on the floor.  Takara and Akamine were stretching out nearby.

Haru settled on his back in his unzipped jacket and jammers with his knees bent. 

Rin knelt by Haru’s feet.  “Which…?”

“Iliopsoas.”  Haru lifted one foot off the mat, tucking his left knee to his chest. 

“Sure.”  Rin moved in, planting his left knee just inside Haru’s right thigh.  Straightening, he braced his right foot on the mat, aligned with Haru’s breastbone. 

Haru flexed his foot, resting it lightly against Rin’s hip.  He relaxed his right leg against the mat.  “OK.”

Rin got his hand down on the cushioned mat, on Haru’s right.  He hovered over his lover, not applying pressure yet.  With his right hand, he cupped Haru’s knee.  “Ready?”

Haru nodded.

Rin leaned in, slow and steady, gradually ramping in pressure as he encountered resistance, guiding Haru’s leg with his hand and his body. 

They were nearly face-to-face when Haru drew a deeper breath and Rin paused, waiting.

Haru exhaled.  “A little more.”

Rin carefully obliged…

“That’s good.”

He stopped, holding the position.  Damp strands of hair brushed against his cheeks as he counted silently.  _Thirty…twenty-nine…twenty-eight…_

“You didn’t tell me yet,” Haru said.  He was stating a fact; there wasn’t any accusation in his calm gaze.

“I forgot,” Rin said.  “A lot of more important things happened.”  The four-by-two hundred relay, his thoughts of his dad, his future dreams— _our future dreams…_   _I forgot all about what that guy said._

Haru smiled with his eyes.

“Na, Haru…”  _Twenty-three…twenty-two…_   “With our sponsors, it could be that we don’t get the same offers, or the same—”

“I don’t care if you get more, Rin.”

Rin’s counting faltered.  He blinked.  “Me?”

“You’re the one with two specialties.  Plus, you’re better at the media stuff than me.”

Rin cocked a brow.  “You’re the one with more medals.”

“So?”  Haru rolled his shoulders in a tiny shrug.  “It’s not like I’ve done this on my own.  Not without you, my friends, my family, our team.  Even if that translates into some amount of money—what I’ve done is only part of that.”

 _You’re never gonna let times, medals, or money define you_.  Rin smiled.  Whatever small doubt Damien had managed to get into him vanished with Haru’s words.  Something as stupid as numbers on paper wasn’t going to come between them.

Haru gave a little push with his foot.  “Switch?”

“Ah.”

They mirrored the position, settling in to stretch Haru’s right hip next. 

Haru pursed his lips, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Hm?”

“Do you think they could pay me in _saba_?”

Rin cringed.  “Haru, no—”

“I’d share with you, Rin.”

He would’ve facepalmed, but both of his hands were busy.  “You know I love you…”  _But we’re not filling entire rooms of our future house with saba, Haru._

Haru smiled for real.

Rin took his turn, after, with one arm resting above his head as he lay back on the mat.  He closed his eyes briefly, savoring the worst of the stretch—it was that good kind of pain—with Haru braced above him, applying pressure just right.

The air escaped his lungs when Haru let up at his signal.  They switched legs.  Rin wet his lips, meeting his lover’s gaze as Haru drew even with him, face-to-face.  “We’re in adjacent lanes tonight.”  For the first time in any Olympic race—heats, semis, or otherwise… 

Haru’s eyes shimmered.

Rin lowered his voice.  “I’m not racing anyone out there but you.”  _This race is ours.  It’s not for my dad.  It’s not for the team or to prove anything to the world._

Haru’s breath hitched.  “Rin…”

He could already _taste_ it in the chlorinated air—the heart-pounding thrill of having Haru in the lane next to him, the two of them baiting, teasing out more from each other—  The anticipation alone heated Rin’s blood.  He let a slow grin spread across his face.  “So your record is toast, just so you know.”

“We’ll see about that.”  Haru adjusted his grip on Rin’s right knee.  His thumb trailed across the back of Rin’s thigh, a light scrape through the fabric of his leg skins.  “Hamstrings next?”

Rin shivered pleasantly, his lungs emptying in a rush.  “Yeah.”

When Haru backed off, Rin straightened his right leg with his foot flexed.  He shielded his eyes from the overhead lighting with one hand while Haru got a shoulder under his calf.  Haru wrapped his arm loosely around Rin’s leg.

“Ready, Rin?”  Haru’s gaze glittered.

Rin flashed a grin in reply.  “Bring it, Haru.”

Haru eased in the stretch and Rin muffled a grunt, shifting against the mat.  His leg was slightly past vertical and the burn felt really good—

“Rin-senpai!  Rin-senpai!”  Momo’s appearance was preceded by rapid slaps of wet feet on the pool deck.  “Are you stretching?”

 _What the fuck else would I be doing, Momo?_   Rin rolled his eyes, using his arm to ward off drips of water as the kid leaned over him.  “What’s it look like?”

“Hee.”  Momo grinned, his orange hair all wet and askew, his goggles and swim cap clutched in one hand.  He bounded off.  “Sada-nee!  Will you stretch with me?”

“You want help, Squeaker?”  Sada wasn’t that far away, adjusting the straps of her black and _sakura_ kneeskins.

“Haha!  Momotarou, your stretching partner’s right here!”  Mikoshiba, wet from the pool, flung an arm around his brother’s shoulders.

“Awww.”

“Come on, let’s work on your quadriceps femoris.  It’s Gou-kun’s favorite muscle group right now.”

Rin’s brow twitched as Mikoshiba wrestled his kid brother down onto the mat next to theirs.  Momo ended up on his stomach with Mikoshiba folding his left leg like a chicken wing.

Momo squirmed and pounded on the mat.  “Ehh, Nii-channn.”

Rin fought a sigh, his rueful smile matching Haru’s. 

“Other leg, Rin?”

“Yup.”

-x-

After a precious few minutes with their loved ones, Rin and Haru grabbed sports drinks in the Athletes’ Lounge as the first event of the evening got started.  Captain Ikehara had top seed in the men’s 200m breaststroke final, though he’d still seemed distracted during warm ups.  For three lengths of the pool, he had first or second place, but his competitors overtook him during the final sprint.  Ikehara touched fourth, missing the podium by less than a tenth of a second, with the medals going to swimmers from Kazakhstan, the United States, and Russia. 

“Seven hundredths,” Rin muttered, lowering his drink can.  They sat side-by-side on the couch in their warmups, close enough that their arms and thighs were touching.

“It was a slower race than yesterday,” Haru said.  “He still has the Olympic record.”

“Mm.”  Rin nodded.

Two semi-finals followed—the women’s 100m freestyle and the men’s 200m backstroke.  Sada had lane two in the first semi-final, between swimmers from Brazil and Denmark.  Even though she undercut her personal best with a time of 53.48, the camera caught the frustration on her face as she stripped off her cap and goggles after a fifth place finish, with the faster semi-final yet to come.

“She doesn’t look that happy about it,” Haru murmured.

“She’s pretty demanding of herself,” Rin said.  It was something he understood implicitly; Sousuke would’ve, too.  He leaned back, slipping his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “Not all of us are content just being in the water.”

Haru reached up, capturing Rin’s hand.  He sipped from his drink.  “You think it’d be different, Rin?  If we only won against each other and weren’t in contention with the top swimmers in the world?”

Rin pressed his lips, humming in his throat.  “Don’t know.”  He tried to imagine it—if both of them had failed in April and hadn’t made the National Team at all.  It wasn’t a pleasant thought.  At best, he would’ve gone back to Australia for another year of training.  At the other extreme…Rin didn’t want to think about what his mental state would’ve been like, staring at another four years before he could reattempt his Olympic dream.  _Would I have let you in?  Or would I have pulled away from everyone and everything again, letting myself fall to pieces?_

Rin glanced over and found Haru looking at him.  As he drank in the quiet consideration in blue eyes, he felt the same magnetic pull that had him chasing Haru in elementary school, that calmed him on stormy nights…even though he’d tried to break away, to run, to say _I don’t need you_ …  It never worked.  Whether it was fate, providence, or something else…  _I always ended up back on the start blocks with you, win or lose._  

“Might’ve taken longer,” Rin said.  “But I think we still would’ve gotten here.”  And he didn’t mean Rio or the Olympics.

Haru’s eyes widened at first…then softened with pleasure.  “Rin…”

 _Damnit, if there weren’t like fifty people in here I’d be kissing my name off your lips…_  

Haru smiled like he knew what Rin was thinking.  With pink warming his cheekbones, he turned his head, kissing the back of Rin’s wrist and lacing their fingers together.

On TV, Momo was wiggling around behind the lane one block in his speedo.  As far as Rin knew, the kid hadn’t snuck any coffee tonight, though all bets were off when it came to sugar.  The whistle pulsed, the eight swimmers dropping into the pool.  Rin held his breath for the start.  In less than an hour, he’d be out there with Haru…

The buzzer sounded, Momo arcing backward into the pool, the race underway.  The kid paced himself well that time, taking fourth place in the first semi-final.

Haru squeezed Rin’s fingers.

Rin tore his gaze away from Momo running in circles behind the start blocks—

Haru’s blue eyes were flicked to him askance.  “I like being fast, Rin.”

 _Hell yes_.  Rin grinned.  “Me too.”

The top swimmers in the second backstroke semi-final went sub-1:55.  Mikoshiba hit almost a second and a half after the winner, taking fifth in his heat.  In the overall stack-up for tomorrow’s final, Momo took seventh and Mikoshiba had eighth.

Rin and Haru finished their drinks, heading to the call room as the medal ceremony for the men’s breaststroke started poolside.  They waved to Ozawa just before she headed into final call, then stripped for inspection.  Ethan and Ty were already there from Team Australia.  Their other competitors in the men’s 100m free were from Belgium, Canada, and Great Britain.  Damien Andrews hadn’t arrived yet.

Back in their warmups, they claimed seats on the side, scrolling through well-wishes from friends and family on their phones.  Rin read for a little while, then switched over to his playlist and started picking through songs.  He liked Nitori—he really did—but there was only so much gushing praise that he could take.

“Rin.”  Haru offered him an earbud.

Rin cocked a brow.  “You’re gonna make me listen to myself?”

Haru smiled, shaking his head.

Rin accepted the earbud, scooting closer so the wire would reach and pressing it into his ear.  The song had a fast, synthetic beat, less outright melody and more hard bass drops.  Rin eyed his lover.  _When did you start listening to stuff like this?_   It was then he caught a riff that sounded familiar and his head was filled with vague recollections of pools, bright lights, and stripping…  _I modeled to this in Málaga, with you watching…_   Rin wet his lower lip and grinned.  “Haru, how?”

Haru’s eyes sparkled.  “I asked Director Kaya.”

Rin held the bud to his ear as he settled back, flush with pleasure, letting the music and Haru heat him up.  His heartrate was already starting to quicken, anticipation coiling warm inside him.  Sometimes there wasn’t much difference between racing Haru and making love to Haru—one just lasted longer and involved fewer clothes.

They headed into final call after the women walked out for the 200m fly final.  Rin and Haru kept to themselves with their music, leaning against the wall with a decent view of the screen.  Rin had an arm comfortably draped around Haru’s shoulders while Haru’s arm was around his waist, hand against his hip with a thumb under Rin’s jacket and hooked into the waistband of Rin’s black warmup pants.

Damien was on the opposite side of the room in his parka with his headphones on.  Rin did nothing to acknowledge the guy’s presence.

On the screen, Ozawa had lane six between swimmers from Spain and the United States.  The cheering from the pool mixed with the music in Rin’s ear.  It was a heady rush and he drew closer to Haru without even meaning to.

The swimmers took the blocks, Australia having the top seed in lane four.  They tensed for the start and dove—

Rin gripped Haru’s sleeve as he watched the women surface into smooth undulations of fly.  The Australian swimmer pulled ahead into an early lead; right up with her was the London silver medalist from Spain, in the lane on Ozawa’s right.  Ozawa paced herself for the first half of the race, seeming content to stay in third.  She’d taken bronze in London, but her Japanese national record time in this race was unreal.  Ozawa came up to her sprint prior to the last open turn, closing the gap easily.  Rin barely breathed as he watched the final fifty meters, deafening cheering overwhelming the music as the three lead swimmers went to the wall, neck-in-neck—  Ozawa touched first, Spain second, Australia third. 

Rin cheered silently, letting out a breath as the camera zoomed in on Ozawa in lane six, as she hugged the silver medalist over the lane line.  She pulled off her cap and goggles, her wet brown hair tumbling free as she pumped a fist skyward, her face bright and chest still heaving.

Rin couldn’t help thinking of Haru’s gold medal on the nightstand in their bedroom…or the way it felt, tackling Haru in the pool after the 200m free.  Things were different tonight.  Sparks were already dancing across his nerves as he deliberately slid his hand from Haru’s shoulder to the collar of his jacket and thumbed the sensitive skin beneath.  The rule had its limits, after all.  Haru shivered, the blue of his eyes darkening a shade as Rin leaned towards his lover. 

The music was still pulsing in their ears as he spoke.  “I think we’d be having envy sex tonight, if you win another gold medal.”

Haru’s breath hitched…and trailed out through his teeth.  “Are you trying to motivate me, Rin?”

Rin shook his head.  _Just telling you how it is, Haru._

Haru’s gaze was equal parts sultry and dangerous.  “Nn…”  He pulled away, taking back his earbud and shutting the music off as the officials started lining them up.

Rin had lane six and Haru had lane five, which put them next to each other in line on the right side of the room.  Ozawa and the other swimmers cleared the pool…

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the championship final of the men’s one hundred meter freestyle.”_

The first two swimmers stepped up to the doorways. _“In lane eight, representing Great Britain…”  “In lane one, representing Belgium…”_

“Rin.”  Haru touched his arm.

Rin turned, meeting the determination in Haru’s gaze.

“I won’t hold out on you, so…”  He lifted his left wrist.

Rin smiled, catching Haru’s hand in both of his.  He kissed skin that was cool and tasted like chlorine, with no redness or swelling or any lingering tape marks.  Squeezing Haru’s fingers and not letting go yet, he grinned.  “I’ll show you something new out there, Haru.  Be ready.”

Haru’s eyes ignited with the same thrill Rin felt.

_“In lane two, representing Australia…  Ty Bingham.”_

Rin pulled away, stepping up to the doorway on the right. 

_“In lane six, representing Japan…  Rin Matsuoka.”_

He walked out, waving to every corner of the room as his name was shouted back at him.  Rin adjusted the lane six block for his feet and stood back, waiting.

_“In lane three, representing Australia…  Ethan McInnes.”_

_“In lane five, representing Japan…  Haruka Nanase.”_

There was nothing shy or hesitant about Haru’s entrance as he came out and waved to the audience.  The Japanese fans were riled up from Ozawa’s win; Rin stopped counting Japanese flags in the stands after a dozen.

Haru came to the lane next to Rin’s, setting up his block before stepping back.  They shared a look, both of them ignoring the fanfare and cowbell as Damien Andrews came out for lane four.  Rin touched the zipper of his warmup jacket, Haru doing the same.  There was a silent _two-one-go!_ and they shucked off their uniforms, racing to be the first one undressed, just like when they were kids.  Haru _might’ve_ won that time, though Rin wasn’t going to admit it.

They splashed water on themselves and waited behind the blocks with nothing but one lane line between them, as it was always meant to be.  Lanes four and five would’ve been better, but Rin wasn’t complaining.  They’d be just as dangerous in lanes one and two or seven and eight.

The hundred free had been their race from the start.  Back when his relay was still just a wish and a dream… _I found you in the hundred free._   It was one down and back in a fifty-meter pool—hard, fast, and only slightly more forgiving than the fifty free.  The race was turbulent—like the churn of the water—like their early rivalry characterized by tears and heartbreak and _all the times I hurt you_.  More recently, it was the upheaval of their separation, pushing each other on at a distance, beating records in a desperate attempt to cling to something together.  _It’s why I’ll never stop racing you in the hundred free, Haru.  Even when we’re old and can’t squeeze into our tech suits anymore and our times are measured in minutes, not seconds…_  Because he never knew who would win, how they’d urge each other on, or what endless possibilities they could reach.  None of it was defined until they were in the pool together and it wasn’t settled until their hands were against the wall.  It was a thrill he’d never give up.

The rapid four-pulse sounded, Rin settling his goggles over his eyes as he approached the block. 

“Haru!!”  “Rin!!”  “Onii-chan!  Haruka-nii-san!” 

At the long whistle, Rin mounted the block on lane six.  He swung his arms once and snuck a glance to his right…

Haru was looking back at him behind tinted goggles.

Rin grinned.  _Let’s do this, Haru._

Haru’s answer was a confident smirk with warm blue eyes.  They bent for the start, grasping the blocks as the stadium momentarily hushed—

_“Take your marks.”_

Rin tensed, his whole body waiting on the buzzer—

It sounded and he sprung forward in streamline…the pool was theirs the instant their fingertips pierced the surface.  They plunged into the cool, quiet world underneath; Rin didn’t bother looking at anyone but Haru as they dolphin-kicked to fifteen meters.  It was an all-out sprint from the moment of his first stroke and every time he surged forward, Haru was there.  It wasn’t at all like high school, when Rin trained harder and was constantly testing and pushing Haru to try more.  No, Haru was doing it too now, only they weren’t _pushing_ ; each burst of speed was an invitation rather than a test—an extended hand and a whisper, _Come with me to dreams, Someday, and forever…_

They curled into the turn at the same time, Haru pushing off slightly ahead.  But Rin had more to give.  He surfaced first with thirty-five meters to go.  Haru caught up.  By twenty-five meters, they were dead even; at the fifteen-meter mark, Haru had a hand’s length lead—

 _Oh no you don’t—_   Rin’s muscles were burning and his lungs were on fire, _but I promised you a sight you’ve never seen before_.  For the final fifteen meters, he went breathless, his hands slicing into the water until the final reach for the wall—

From the corner of his eye, he could see Haru’s outstretched arm, going for the finish at the exact same time—  Rin slapped the tile wall and popped up, sucking in lungfuls of air.  He had no idea what his time was or which of them had finished first, but he knew— _knew_ —he’d just swam the best hundred free of his life—

Haru was one lane over, breathing just as hard, and everyone was screaming so loud Rin couldn’t hear a thing—not even the announcer’s voice. 

Rin swam to the line between them.  Haru met him there, their arms wrapping around each other as they both fought to catch their breath.

“Did you look yet?” Rin asked, their swim caps touching.

“I’m scared to,” Haru said.

“Dummy.”  Rin grinned; he didn’t have enough breath to laugh.  “We can—”

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please congratulate the gold and silver medalists from Japan—”_

_Holy shit—_

_“Rin Matsuoka and Haruka Nanase.  Forty-seven forty-four and forty-seven forty-five.”_

_Holy_ —  They broke apart just enough to stare at each other, then scrambled to push goggles out of the way and finally look at the board.

All Rin saw was the (1) by his name and the (2) by Haru’s. 

“Haru!”  Rin threw off both caps and his goggles, not caring where they ended up.  He slid over the plastic line, tackling Haru into the water on lane five.

They kissed underwater, Haru still working to get his caps and goggles off, though that didn’t stop him from kissing Rin back…

They came up hugging, Haru’s eyes were bright with shock and wonder and Rin didn’t doubt he wore the same look.  Other swimmers came through their lane—it was a blur of handshakes and slaps on the shoulder.  Rin suddenly understood why Olympic gold medalists did stupid things like sit on the lane lines and if he didn’t have a vendetta against those hard plastic ropes, he would’ve done it and pulled Haru up with him. 

Instead, he hoisted himself out by the blocks and hauled Haru out, too.  Rin didn’t let go.  He waved at the stands—at their friends and family, at their teammates and all of the Japanese flags rippling in the audience.

Haru was quiet at his side, but it wasn’t shyness like the other night—he was looking around, drinking it all in, especially the way Rin was carrying on.  There was a whole ocean of warmth and pleasure in Haru’s eyes when their gazes met.  Rin could see himself reflected in the blue, all grinning and ridiculous.

Haru suddenly hugged him—the surprise alone making Rin’s lungs empty in a rush. 

“Haru…”

“Rin…one-two.”

The tears came out of nowhere, welling up and spilling over in thin trails.  Rin threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders, squeezing tight.  “Let’s always swim this race together.  Even when we suck at swimming because we’re old and our times are shit and our swimsuits don’t fit anymore…”

Haru pulled back, wide-eyed and blinking.  “Did…did you just propose to me?”

“ _Oi!_ ”  Rin’s face caught fire.

Haru snorted with laughter and hugged him again.  “Yeah, Rin.  Let’s.”

Haru’s words settled on him sweetly.  Rin couldn’t help but melt into the embrace of the one he loved.

-x-

 _My first gold medal Mixed Zone._   Rin scanned the hallway full of reporters clamoring for position against the barrier and calling his name.  Ethan and Ty were still present, chatting with media down at the far end of the hall, but the rest of their competitors had already left.

 _Oh._   Rin thrust a hand through his damp hair.  _I didn’t even…_   “Did you see who won bronze?”

“Yeah,” Haru murmured.  “Doesn’t look like he’s here anymore.”

Mn.  Rin pressed his lips, wondering if bronze was another career first for Damien Andrews.  Not that he cared.  _This moment is ours_.  “Ready?” he asked, catching Haru’s hand.

Haru shrugged.  “It’s your show, Rin.  I’m just here for emotional support.”

Rin chuckled.  _I love you_.  He tugged Haru towards the fray.

Coach Maekawa was waiting for them in her red _sakura_ jacket and black warmup pants.  “Congratulations, you two,” she said, smiling.  “We’ve only got a few minutes.  When I say it’s time to go, we need to get moving.”

“Hai,” they answered in unison. 

Rin pulled Haru with him as they stepped up by the barrier.  Dozens of reporters shoved recording devices and phones in their direction.

_“Mr. Matsuoka, Mr. Nanase, congratulations on tonight’s race.  How does it feel to win gold and silver medals one one-hundredth of a second apart?”_

Rin made a show of rubbing the back of his neck.  _“Yeah, Haru really slacked off for that last hundredth, didn’t he?”_   He grinned.

Haru peered at him for a second, processing the English.  The look became a glare.  _“I have no comment,”_ he said.  After a beat, his face softened.  _“We’ve tied before.  Just not today.”_

_“The two of you walked out there like you owned the pool.  What was that about?”_

_“I think our times speak for themselves,”_ Rin said.

Beside him, Haru sighed, flicking his eyes skyward.  The follow-up look was clearly, _don’t be a dick, Rin._

Rin smothered his amusement with another smile _.  “Alright, the truth is we get fired up racing in adjacent lanes.  Just like any good rivals or good friends.  It’s the best way to challenge each other and support each other, too.  You’re gonna see us swim our best when the lanes seed like that.”_

_“Mr. Nanase, your thoughts?”_

Haru paused for a moment.  _“The water feels better when Rin’s next to me.”_

 _Yeah, you really just said that…_   Rin’s face heated a little.

_“Can you explain what you mean by that?”_

_“Not really,”_ Haru said.

 _Someone’s feeling sassy._   Rin loved it.

The poor reporter looked perplexed, but Rin just shrugged.  _“He’s being literal.”_

 _“I see…”_   The man only looked more confused.

After another minute of questions, Coach Maekawa moved in.  “Time’s up, you guys.”  She turned to the reporters.  “ _That’s all for now.  You can catch them at the press conference later._ ”

Rin and Haru stepped down with a wave, following their coach to the end of the hallway. 

“You’ve got twenty minutes to warm down, then it’s time to prep for the medal ceremony and the press conference.”  Maekawa waited as they gathered their things from the plastic bins.  Someone had even been kind enough to recover their caps and goggles.  “We’ll keep things as crisp as possible, but it’s going to be another late night.”

 _And unlike today, we’re both swimming in the heats tomorrow…_   Rin had no regrets.  Tomorrow could sort itself out.  He glanced over, meeting the warmth in Haru’s eyes.

“OK.  Pool.  Let’s go,” Maekawa said, pointing them down the hall.

-x-

After warming down, they showered in the locker room and got dressed.  Rin spent a moment in front of the mirror afterwards, finger-combing his hair.

Haru came up behind his left shoulder.  “You’re primping.”

“Shut up, Haru.  It’s for the pictures.”

“You’ll be crying anyway.”

“I will not!”

Haru smiled.  “Want your bracelet, Rin?”

“Yeah.”  He held out his left wrist, letting Haru tie the woven leather bracelet into place.  “Where’s yours?”

Haru handed his over, offering his right wrist. 

Rin turned from the mirror to tie the bracelet properly for Haru. 

Haru looked pleased, running his fingertips over the little dolphin and shark made from seashell. 

“Na, Haru…”  Rin’s gaze lingered on Haru’s left wrist.

“Hm?  Oh, it’s fine.”  Haru flexed the joint while Rin watched.  “Kasai-san said she’d give me an ice pack for tonight.”

“OK.”  Rin smiled with relief.  They weren’t alone in the locker room, but their row was vacant at the moment.  Rin slipped his arms around Haru’s neck, kissing his lover lightly on the mouth.  “ _Eu te amo_.”

Haru initiated the second kiss, much to Rin’s delight.  “ _Eu tamb_ _é_ _n te amo_ , _Rin_.”

-x-

“Haru!  Rin!”  Makoto’s instructor voice was easy to pick out over the low roar in the hallway.  He was halfway down against the green Rio barrier, waving at them.

Haru grabbed Rin’s hand, pulling him in Makoto’s direction.

Makoto, Sousuke, Gou, and Rin’s mom were all there in their _Go Team Japan!_ T-shirts. 

Gou nearly leapt over the barrier, throwing her arms around Rin’s shoulders.  “Congrats, Onii-chan!!”

“Thanks, Gou.”  Rin smiled, making sure she was settled on her feet before he let go. 

“Nice, Rin,” Sousuke said, holding up a fist.

 _Really?  I just won a gold medal._   Rin flicked his eyes towards the ceiling.  “Come here.”  He grabbed his best friend’s hand, pulling Sousuke in for a one-armed hug.

Sousuke returned the gesture.  “It’s about time you showed off out there.”

 _Ass._   Rin grinned as they drew apart.

“Alright, alright.  My turn—”  Rin’s mom squeezed to the front, wrapping Rin in a tight hug.  “Oh, honey…”

Rin hugged her back.  “Thanks, Mom.”

“Well, we knew what was going to happen the second you two started stripping like that,” Makoto said, chuckling. 

“Too bad the competition had no idea,” Sousuke said. 

“Nagisa and Rei were betting you’d tie again.”

“This is good too,” Haru said.

Miyako finally let go and Rin smoothed his warmup jacket.

“Let’s take a selfie!”  Gou pulled out her petal pink camera.

Rin glanced at Haru, who shrugged, smiling with his eyes. 

“I’ll do it,” Haru said, taking the camera and playing with the settings.

Rin leaned back against the barrier next to Haru as they all crowded in and Haru snapped a few test shots.

“Mm.”  Haru exhaled.  “My arms aren’t long enough.  Makoto, Yamazaki…”

“Sure,” Makoto said, grabbing one side of the camera while Sousuke got the other. 

Rin grinned, wrapping his arm around Haru’s shoulders.  They both made peace signs for the camera with their friends and family surrounding them.

“Ready?” Makoto asked.  “ _Ichi-ni-san_ —”

The flash went off, blinding Rin momentarily.  _That’ll be a good one._  

When the spots faded, he got a glimpse of Coach Maekawa standing near the wall, waiting on them.  She wasn’t tapping her watch or anything yet, but…

“Haru, we should…”

Haru nodded.  “Yeah.”

After one last round of hugs, they waved to their loved ones and returned to their coach.

“Sorry to make you wait,” Rin said.

Maekawa smiled faintly.  “No problem, Matsuoka.  We factor in time for this.”

They arrived at the ceremony prep room at the same time as Ozawa.  She had wet hair and freshly applied makeup.  “Congratulations, you two!”

“You too, Ozawa-senpai,” Haru said, accepting a brief hug from her. 

Rin nodded.  “Congrats.”  They fist-bumped.  “How was the breaststroke?”  They’d missed her semi-finals and Koda’s during warm down.

“Good!  Otani’s really solid when she’s not nervous.  I think we’ve got a decent shot at going one-two tomorrow night.”

 _In the meantime, she’s probably freaking out over making another final._ Rin smiled at the thought.

“Kotone-sensei, how was the IM?” Ozawa asked.

Maekawa sighed.  “Takuya-kun decided to show off.  One fifty-seven even.  He won the first heat and he’s in fourth overall.”

“One fifty-seven?”  Ozawa laughed.  “Koda…”

A Rio official came over with a clipboard.  “ _Senhora Ozawa?_ ”

“ _Oh, yes.  That’s me_.”  She waved at them as she left to join the lineup.

“Let’s get you guys checked in,” Maekawa said, ushering them to a different official.

The women’s 4x200 free relay final was held as they waited; Maekawa kept them apprised of the results—fifth place for Japan.  Damien—in his navy blue and red warmups—didn’t arrive until the very last second, making Rin wonder again why timetables didn’t apply to that guy.  _The hundred free was your only race tonight, just like us._   Half of him wanted to go across the room and start something like, _So, pretty cute race we just had, huh?_   But Rin didn’t need to be an asshole about it—the medals spoke louder anyways—and sharing this podium with Haru was way more important than rubbing his victory in Damien Andrews’ face.

When it was time to line up, Rin and Haru got to their places first. 

Damien came over, stopping even with them instead of heading to his spot in line.  He extended a hand.  “ _Haruka, congratulations_.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” Haru said, shaking the guy’s hand.  “ _You too_.”

Damien’s expression was cool and unreadable—not his usual dazzling self as he turned, offering his hand to Rin next.  “ _Rin_.”

“ _Damien_.”  They shook.

Damien moved in front of them without another word.  The whole exchange was weird; obviously the guy was affected by what happened, but if all that cocky bravado was a façade for the camera that Damien turned on and off at will…  _Maybe we have more in common than I want to admit._ If that was true, no wonder Sugiyama had had issues with him from the start.

Rin exhaled silently, glancing behind him.  If there was one person who could keep him grounded, keep him from becoming the pompous asshole he didn’t want to be…

Haru quirked a brow, questioning him with a glance.

Rin smiled, grateful that he and Haru were together.

-x-

 _“Le médaillé de bronze, représentant les États-Unis…”_   There was a ton of cowbell and Damien was back to lighting up the room as he received his bronze medal on the first step of the podium.

Rin waited behind the center step, his stomach doing excited little flips.  Haru was on his right, standing behind the second step.

_“Le médaillé d'argent, représentant le Japon…”  “The silver medalist, from Japan…”  “O medalhista de prata, representando o Japão…”  “…Haruka Nanase!”_

Haru shot him a smile that warmed Rin to his toes before he stepped onto the podium.  After waving to the cheering crowd, Haru bent forward to accept his silver medal and emblem from the IOC and FINA officials.

In the pause that followed, Rin drew a little breath…

_“Le médaillé d'or, représentant le Japon…”  “The gold medalist, representing Japan…”  “O medalhista de ouro, representando o Japão…”  “…Rin Matsuoka!”_

As the crowd thundered, Rin climbed onto the top step of the podium, both hands raised high as he waved to his loved ones, teammates, cheering fans, and the cameras.  And _damnit_ , the heat was already gathering in his eyes.

He bowed low to allow the IOC official to slip the lanyard around his neck.  The heavy gold medal settled against his chest as he straightened, clutching another Rio emblem—

“Onii-chan!!”

He waved at Gou again; she and his mom were hugging and waving the Iwatobi banner.

_“Mesdames et Messieurs, l'hymne du Japon…”_

_Oh shit._   It was the second time the Japanese anthem had played tonight and Rin didn’t have a particular affinity for the song, but…  There were two Japanese flags being hoisted on the start side of the pool—his and Haru’s—and Rin lost it five seconds in.  No amount of biting his lower lip stopped the tears and he didn’t dare close his eyes—he didn’t want to miss even a moment of this.  So the tears fell as the anthem played.  When it was done, he wiped his face hastily and turned, reaching out—

Haru was there in an instant, enfolding him in a tight hug.  Rin squeezed back, overwhelmed and trembling.  He caught Haru’s hand—Haru’s left hand—as they parted, sending a silent _thank you_ towards heaven that this dream of theirs had happened, that Haru’s wrist sprain hadn’t taken this away from them, and that he wasn’t standing on this podium without the one he loved.

Haru’s gaze was replete with affection, as if he knew it all.  With a smile, Haru nodded towards the cameras.  “Rin.”

 _Oh_.  Rin turned his attention forward, releasing Haru’s hand to slip an arm around his lover’s shoulders instead.  Damien joined them on the center step, the three of them posing holding their medals.

The slow walk around the pool followed.  Rin accepted a flag from their fans in the crowd.  He and Haru shared it between them, the red Japanese sun draping their backs as they smiled (well, Haru smiled and Rin grinned like an idiot) for countless pictures. 

“Oi!  Wonder twins!”  Takara was in the stands by the time they got around behind the start blocks.  She was leaning over the rail with wet black hair, like she’d just thrown on her warmups after getting out of the pool.  “Come on, Haruka!”

Rin’s cheeks heated as she made a kissy face.

Haru sighed.  “Like I’m gonna just because you say to,” he muttered.

“Yeah, get him, Nanase!”  Mikoshiba was next to her and then the whole team was doing it.

Haru exhaled through his nose.

Rin pressed his lips.  “You don’t want to kiss me, Haru?”

Haru met his gaze askance, one brow arched.  “It’s for us, not for them.”

 _That’s not a ‘no.’_   Rin smiled.

Haru’s lips pursed.  “It’s different if you’re asking.”

Rin couldn’t resist teasing a little.  “What if I am?”

“Are you, Rin?”  Haru’s eyes flashed dangerously. 

The look took Rin’s breath away, a burst of squeals and cheering from their teammates reminding him of an audience of millions…  “Later,” Rin whispered.  _Because one kiss isn’t enough and I want you all to myself._

Haru’s eyes warmed.  They left their teammates disappointed and continued on. 

The rest of their victory lap was more camera flashes and waving to their loved ones in the stands.  Maekawa directed them to the press conference room, afterward.

Rin took the seat with his name on it, Haru sitting to his left with a translator next to him.  The seat on Rin’s right was for Damien, who again seemed determined to be fashionably late.

A Rio official in a blue blazer was emceeing the event.  _“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the press conference for the men’s one hundred meter freestyle.  Please welcome gold medalist, Rin Matsuoka, representing Japan.”_

Smiling, Rin dipped his head in greeting to the roomful of reporters.

_“This is Mr. Matsuoka’s first Olympic games.  He previously medaled yesterday in the four-by-two hundred freestyle relay.  Japan’s last gold medal in the hundred meter freestyle event was in Los Angeles in 1932.”_

Apparently, it was someone’s actual job to come up with all of these obscure stats.

_“Please welcome silver medalist, Haruka Nanase, also representing Japan.  Mr. Nanase previously medaled in the two hundred meter freestyle Monday night and in last night’s four-by-two hundred freestyle relay.”_

Haru nodded to the room.

_“First question please.  …Yes?”_

A reporter in the third row got the first question.   _“Congratulations on a very strong showing from Team Japan tonight.  My question is for both of you, starting with Mr. Matsuoka.  Can you talk about your plans for Tokyo 2020?”_

Rin leaned towards the microphone, answering in English.  _“I’m absolutely planning on Tokyo 2020.  It’s a great honor and privilege to be able to host the Olympics in our home country.  I’m determined to be there.”_ He sat back so Haru could reply as well.

Mild irritation was simmering in Haru’s eyes, pink topping his cheekbones as he moved closer to the microphone and spoke in English.  _“Yes, I am planning to swim in Tokyo in 2020.”_

_English-envy, huh?  Sorry, Haru._

The emcee moved on.  _“Next question please.  …Yes?”_

A reporter in the first row on the far left got the microphone.  _“Mr. Matsuoka, congratulations on a new Japanese record in addition to your gold medal.  Can you explain this…for lack of a better word…trading off between the two of you on the National title since the Japanese Olympic trials in April?  What’s the motivation or strategy there?”_

Rin smiled.  _“I wouldn’t call it anything strategic.  We competed in separate cities for the most part, between the Japan Open and here in Rio.  The hundred free was a way to challenge each other, to have a goal to chase and aim for.  It was us encouraging each other and it made it easier to stay connected.”_

The microphone switched hands.  _“Mr. Nanase, congratulations.  How do you feel about this race compared to the two hundred free, Monday night?  Tonight, you were two hundredths of a second away from another gold medal.  Any regrets or things you would’ve done differently in retrospect?”_

Haru paused for a moment, listening to his translator.  He drew a breath—not looking at Rin—and a darker blush crept into his cheeks.  “I don’t regret anything,” he said in Japanese.  “Tying with Rin would’ve been nice, but I’m happy with the way things turned out.  I don’t mind it when Rin’s the one who beats me.”

 _Haru, fuck…_   Warmth burned in Rin’s face as the translator repeated Haru’s words in English.

The next question came from one of the back rows.  _“Congratulations on a stunning performance tonight.  Mr. Matsuoka, Mr. Nanase…you’re both relay anchors and with times like these in the hundred free, how does your team possibly decide who swims the medley?  Any plans you can share?”_

The question hit Rin solidly in the gut.  His smile didn’t falter, but it might as well have been a bucket of ice water dumped on his head.  _Even after all this, I still want the relay that bad, huh?_  

It took Haru an extra second with his translator.  His face smoothed.

Rin forced a chuckle, ignoring the cold churn in his stomach.  _“You’d have to ask the coaching staff.  You can be sure they’ll put our best possible team in the water.”_   He believed those words completely, but it was still hard to say them. 

Attention shifted to Haru, who only nodded in response.

“ _Next question, please_ —”  The emcee was interrupted by a commotion near the door as Damien Andrews finally showed up.  The guy swept into the room with a smile and a wave, his bronze medal gleaming against his navy blue and red warmups as he settled into his chair.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome bronze medalist, Damien Andrews, representing the United States of America.  Mr. Andrews is the Olympic and World Record holder in this event from Beijing in 2008 and the World Championships in Rome in 2009.  He is the Olympic gold medalist from Beijing and London.”_

Damien dazzled the room with his smile, waving to the crowd of reporters.

_“We’ll continue with questions.  …Yes?”_

A reporter on the end of the fourth row popped up.  “ _Mr. Andrews, congratulations on another medal to add to your impressive collection so far in these Games.  Can you talk about your thoughts and preparations going into this race?”_

“ _Sure, Matteo_.”  Damien leaned forward, his elbows braced on the surface of the table.  “ _My prep routine hasn’t changed since long before Beijing.  I’ve got what works, so I don’t mess with it.  I’m very careful with my diet and with my sleep schedule.  Which, I’ll admit, is a little more difficult with Sofia around, but race day is race day_.”  A chuckle rumbled through the room.  “ _I do my hour in the pool, relax with music in the call room…  With only one race, I was able to focus completely on what I wanted my performance to be out there_.” 

_“Mr. Andrews, does a bronze medal have an impact on your retirement decision at all?”_

Damien laughed.  “ _Lisa, I’ve got four gold medals and two events left to go.  Going out with more than one color doesn’t bother me at all.  Medals don’t get to decide these things for me.  My retirement is a family decision and that’s it_.”

_“As a follow-up, Mr. Andrews, can you talk about your rivalry with Mr. Matsuoka and Mr. Nanase in this event?”_

“ _As far as times and races go, it is what it is_ ,” Damien said, sitting back with a shrug.  “ _But ‘rival’ isn’t a term I throw around lightly.  One week of swimming together before I retire just isn’t enough_.”

Rin managed not to roll his eyes, but wow.  The guy was such a practiced condescending asshole he didn’t even have to work at it anymore.

“ _I only have one rival here in Rio_.”  Damien’s expression cooled for the first time.

“ _In that case, can you share your thoughts going into tomorrow’s hundred fly?  Do Athens and Beijing come into it_?”

“ _Nope, afraid I can’t_.”  The guy was back to smiling.  “ _Tonight’s about the hundred free_.”

_“Mr. Andrews, do you consider your Olympic and World records to be in jeopardy, given the performance you saw from Mr. Matsuoka and Mr. Nanase here tonight?”_

Damien glanced aside and there was that flicker again.  He studied them for a moment before returning his attention forward.  “ _Records are never safe.  The only reason mine have lasted this long is because of the textile rules.  Whether one of these two would be the one to break them?_ ”  He leaned back in his chair, his face thoughtful.  “ _Well, my money’s always going to be on a future US swimmer—hopefully one trained by me_.”  There he flashed his winning smile again.  “ _But anything’s possible.  Ask me again in four years_.”

_“Mr. Matsuoka, any response to what you just heard from Mr. Andrews?”_

Rin was almost shocked to have a question directed his way.  He moved towards the microphone.  “ _Records have never been my focus.  Constantly improving myself and striving for my full potential—that’s my goal every time I swim.  That said_ …”  Rin paused, looking at Haru beside him.  “ _I’ve always felt like the future’s full of endless possibilities when I race with Haru.  So I wouldn’t be surprised if something amazing were to happen._ ”

Haru’s face softened.

_Yeah, I know that was corny, but…_

Haru smiled with his eyes.  They held each other’s gaze for a while longer…

The emcee coughed lightly.  “ _Shall we move on to the next question?  …Yes?_ ”

The majority of the questions that followed were for Damien—which was pretty damn annoying, actually.  It was almost a relief when the press conference was finally over.  Coach Maekawa took them straight back to the Mixed Zone for a few dedicated minutes with JOC and JASF reps.  It was closing in on 1:30am by the time they were on one of the last buses, heading back to the Athletes’ Village. 

The bus was rowdy and the dining hall was even worse.  Normally, Rin would’ve welcomed the attention, but not at 2am.  By the end of their oft-interrupted meal, he was craving space and time alone with Haru.  They left the Mikoshiba brothers in the dining hall with the rest of the Japanese team—most of whom weren’t swimming in the morning. 

The eighth floor of their tower was blessedly quiet; Haru unlocked the door to their apartment.  They toed off their sneakers in the entryway and headed into their bedroom.  Rin dropped his gear bag inside the door while Haru got the lights and unpacked a few things—like the small cooler containing the ice for his wrist, which he set by the bed.

Rin leaned against the door for a second, a sigh falling from his lips.  “I’m gonna shower,” he muttered, pulling the gold medal off over his head and tossing it onto his bed.

“Want company, Rin?” Haru asked, pulling off his silver medal and adding it to the stack on his nightstand.

“Yeah.”  Rin eyed his lover.  “It’s later, isn’t it?”

Haru perked up, coming over immediately.

They stripped off each other’s warmups in the bathroom, then stepped under tepid spray in their tech suits.  Just the feel of Haru’s mouth on his, with deep pushes of tongue and their arms locked around each other, was enough to erase an hour of petty annoyances and take him back to the pool, the race, the thrill of finishing one one-hundredth of a second apart…

Rin broke from Haru’s lips, breathless and warm.  He freed a hand, reaching for the knob controlling the water temperature—

“No envy sex, huh?”

Rin’s hand stopped short of touching the chrome handle.  He read the chagrin on Haru’s face between glossy strands of wet black hair.  Rin knew that look well enough by now.  Haru was mostly kidding, but a little serious.  Maybe…75/25?  Rin’s percentage was more 60/40 or even 50/50 and dropping all the time…  “Disappointed?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders.

“About the sex part, not the envy.”  Haru smiled with his eyes.  His hands were working slowly—deliciously—in opposite directions to either side of Rin’s spine.  “I like matching.”

Rin cocked a brow.  “You still have more medals than me.”

Haru shrugged.  “There’s three days left, Rin.”

Rin grunted, closing his eyes and dropping his head to Haru’s shoulder.  He teased the skin there with his teeth in protest.  “If I didn’t have the fly tomorrow…”  _If I didn’t still care so much about the stupid relay…_   But he couldn’t deny the way he’d reacted at the press conference.  Haru knew, so he couldn’t expect any help in making questionable decisions he might regret come morning.

Haru’s fingertips went from kneading to scraping.  “Rin…”  His name came out rough.  “Can I still undress you?”

Rin bit down again, savoring the way Haru trembled with pleasure in his arms.  “Yeah,” he said.  “You’ll get the water?”  His fingers were busy weaving into Haru’s hair.

“In a minute,” Haru said.

Cold water wasn’t an instant solution.  It took them a while to cool down.  Their skin was pruny by the time they shut off the shower and grabbed towels.

After brushing their teeth, they slipped into bed naked in defiance of the rule, cuddling beneath the covers in a tangle of shivering limbs.  Haru’s ice pack added to the chill, which slowly subsided as they held each other.

“Rin?”

“Hm?”

They were face-to-face in the dark, with just enough light seeping around the edges of the curtains for Rin to see the outline of Haru’s face, black hair swept across his brow. 

“The other thing you said at the pool…”

 _Huh?  Oh._   Rin blushed.  “I said that wasn’t a proposal, Haru.”  _Like I’d do it that way, by the pool, in front of everyone…_   Though, to be fair, proposing to Haru probably _should_ involve water somehow…

Haru smiled in the dark.  “It’s the first time you talked about us getting old together.”

“Nn…”  Rin’s blush deepened.  “Not like we get to control that part.  But we get to choose who we do it with, I guess.”

Haru snuggled into his arms.  “I liked it.”

 _Haru…_   Rin’s insides did a sweet flip.  He smiled.  Gathering his lover close, Rin brushed his lips across Haru’s brow.

They fell silent after that, their breaths softening and shallowing.  Rin couldn’t keep his eyes open.  The warmth of their bodies in concert with another late night was fast drawing him under…

He was almost out…or maybe he already was and he only dreamed Haru said the words—

“You kind of proposed, Rin.  And I kind of said yes.”


	35. Dive, Dash, Breathe // Rio Medley, Part 1

* * *

Thursday, August 11th, 2016

* * *

When their alarm went off, Rin reluctantly dragged himself away from Haru’s warmth.  He silenced the damn buzzing—his phone on the nightstand next to his medals—and swung his legs out of bed, his bare feet hitting the cold, laminate floor.  _Eleven AM already…_   Rin rubbed his face, brushing hair out of his eyes.  Meanwhile, Haru rolled over with an irritated grunt and pulled the covers over his head.  _Yeah, tell me about it._ Rin gazed longingly at his pillow and his lover, the temptation to stay in bed tugging at him.  Swimming or naked spooning with Haru…  There was really only one right answer, yet here he was, getting his ass up anyways…

The mattress creaked as Rin pushed the covers back.  He grabbed a pair of sleep pants to ward off the chill in the air-conditioned room, not bothering with underwear.  There wasn’t any point getting fully dressed when he had to cram himself into his tech suit in less than ten minutes. 

In the bathroom, Rin washed up and brushed his teeth.  The face in the mirror didn’t look any different after winning two Olympic medals.  A grim determination was reflected in his eyes, having nothing to do with wanting more sleep.  His two hardest events started today—the fifty meter free and the hundred meter fly.  He had one last chance to prove he was just as good as Sugiyama and make Coach Fujino think twice about who to assign to the fly leg of the medley relay.  –For Saturday night’s final, anyway.  The medley heats were Friday afternoon. 

Rin rinsed toothpaste foam from his mouth and put his toothbrush away, grabbing a towel from the rack to dry off.  At this point, he was fairly certain he’d be swimming the medley prelim with Momo, Captain Ikehara, and Haru.  He wasn’t discounting that race anymore, but he wasn’t ready to concede the final.  Not yet.

Flipping the towel over the rack, he headed back into the bedroom.  The lump beneath the blankets hadn’t moved.  Rin crossed to the glass balcony doors first, pulling the brown curtains aside to reveal another semi-cloudy day—breezy by the looks of it, with the flags lining the transportation mall flying in full stream with the wind.

As daylight flooded the room, an irritated noise came from the lump.

Rin rounded the foot of their beds.  “Haru, we need to get up.”

“No.”

He continued to Haru’s side and reached for the blanket—

A hand shot out from under the covers, closing warmly around Rin’s wrist—

The next thing he knew, he was in the bed with the comforter floating down on top of him and his body pressed flush to Haru’s.  _Well this morning just got a lot better…_

Haru wrapped an arm and a leg around him, trapping him in place.  …Not that Rin was interested in escaping with Haru lying halfway _on_ him.   _Naked_.  He met blue eyes that were pouty, defiant, and slightly drowsy.

“You don’t want to swim, Haru?” Rin asked, sliding his arms around Haru’s shoulders, his hands tangling into mussed strands of silky black hair.

Haru’s face clouded.  “I’m not going,” he muttered.  There was a flicker of emotion in Haru’s eyes before he laid his head on Rin’s chest, his heavy sigh wafting across Rin’s skin.

 _Oh._   Rin tightened his arms, lifting one hand to stroke lightly through Haru’s hair as he gazed at the featureless, white ceiling.  “Not going doesn’t mean they don’t leave, you know,” he said quietly.

“Nn…”  Haru pressed his forehead to Rin’s chest like he could burrow inside and hide there.  “I know,” he murmured.

Reminding Haru that he’d get to see Makoto again in a week didn’t seem like it would help.  Haru was never someone to be placated with words.  He needed actions, promises fulfilled…and water.

Rin drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, hugging the one he loved.  “I wish this room had a bathtub for you.”

Haru’s breath hitched.  He raised his head, his eyes gleaming with a fresh punch of emotion.  “Rin…”  Haru’s smile was small and pained, but real nonetheless. 

Rin’s heart did a little flip, seeing that smile directed his way. 

Haru scooted up until they were face-to-face, stretching out on top.  A soft kiss fell against Rin’s lips, sweet like summer rain.  After, Haru snuggled in, his face tucked against Rin’s cheek.

“Do you think I’d get in trouble if I borrowed one of the inflatable baths from the recovery room?”

Rin arched a brow.  “How would you get it here?”  The gym was halfway across the Village.

“I’d ask the Field Hockey team.  They seem like they’d be good at stuff like that.”

Rin chuckled.  “Well.  Might not be a bad idea.”  _Gold medalists can’t get in that much trouble, right?  At least not in the Village…_

“Mm.”  Haru kissed Rin’s jaw, just below his left ear, and Rin forgot how to breathe.  “Let’s go ask.”  He thrust the covers back and climbed out of bed, delectably naked as he crossed their bedroom for his suitcase.

 _At least you’re motivated now_.  Rin sat up, the blankets falling to his waist.  He rolled his lips between his teeth—lips that tasted like his lover—as he watched Haru take his time finding clothes.  _I wonder if there’s such a thing as an inflatable kids’ pool that would fit into a suitcase._ If so, he was buying one.

After squeezing into their tech suits, they dressed in their warmups and grabbed their gear bags.  Rin followed Haru out into the hall, closing their bedroom door behind him.

“Hey, guys!  Good morning!”  Mikoshiba gave them a thumbs-up from the couch in the main room of their apartment.  “Good luck with the heats.”  He was working on something at the table.  – _Something_ that included a petal-pink gift bag doused in glitter.

Rin peered at the bag.  “What the hell is that?”

“Ah, haha…”  Mikoshiba laughed, blushing faintly.  “Just some light reading for Gou-kun to take on the plane.”  He finished whatever he was writing, tucking the slip of paper inside the magazine and lifting it for Rin’s inspection.

_International Muscles Monthly – Special Edition – The Best Traps and Lats of Rio 2016_

Rin’s brow twitched.  _You both have a problem._

“I just have to finish wrapping.”  The guy pulled out a length of red ribbon and positioned the magazine on top, just so.  “I’ll see you guys out there later.”  Mikoshiba concentrated with a slight frown and his tongue stuck out to one side.  He’d never more resembled Momo, in Rin’s opinion.

“That’s really cute,” Haru whispered.

Rin pinned his lover with a glare, throwing an arm around Haru’s shoulders and dragging him out of the apartment.  _You’re not helping._  

The atrium was quiet.  Most of their teammates would’ve been out the door already or still asleep. 

“Just as long as there’s not a ring box in that bag,” Rin muttered.  “Gou’s too young to get engaged.”

The Wall had grown again while they slept.  Front and center was a full-color picture from the hundred free podium last night, Haru, Rin, and Damien all smiling and holding their medals.

“She’s eighteen,” Haru said.  “You think there should be a minimum age for stuff like that?”

“Nn.”  Rin crinkled his nose.  “Isn’t it weird to be old enough to make enormous life-changing decisions but _not_ be old enough to drink?”

“The drinking age is lower in a lot of places, including here.  Maybe our country’s the one that’s weird.”

Rin scowled.  “That’s _not_ the point, Haru.”  _She’s my baby sister._

Haru smiled, mirth dancing in his eyes as he headed for the elevator.  “Well, good thing we’re only sort of engaged, Rin.  Since you’re not twenty yet.”

“ _Oi!_ ”  Rin’s face caught fire in an instant.  _You’re barely twenty.  And I said that wasn’t a proposal, damnit!_   He tackled Haru in front of the elevator doors, his arms thrown around Haru’s shoulders, a growl emanating from his throat.

But Haru’s smile and the kiss that followed made all his irritation evaporate.

-x-

“Let’s see what you can do on one breath for the heats,” Coach Fujino said, the three of them standing in the team area beside the warm up pool in their _sakura_ jackets and black pants.  “After that, we can decide if we need to make adjustments going into the semi-finals tonight.”

 _You say that like it’s a done-deal._   There were no guarantees that he’d make the semi’s… _though if I tank trying to go breathless—_   Rin realized what Fujino _wasn’t_ saying and he couldn’t argue the point.  _You’d rather I play it conservative and fail to qualify at some point, versus having a meltdown in the pool, embarrassing myself and the team in front of millions of people._ He exhaled.  _Yeah.  Me too, Coach._

“Hai,” Rin said.  _I’m starting to hate this race._   Between waking dreams of his dad drowning and what happened to Haru’s wrist, nothing good had come out of the fifty free in a long time.  The national record he shared with Haru taunted him.

Haru was studying him askance, as if trying to decipher what he was thinking.

_Believe me, you don’t want to get in here right now, Haru.  Sometimes, my head is a mess._

“Does that work for you, Nanase-kun?” Coach Fujino asked.

“Hai.”  Haru looked forward again, his face neutral.

“How’s the wrist?”

Haru shrugged.  “I’m getting good at finishing with my right hand.”

Coach Fujino nodded.  “Alright.  Good luck to both of you.  I’ll see you back here, after.”

“Hai.”  They bowed low as their coach left, then headed to the locker room to stash their things.

Haru was back to eyeing him as they closed adjacent lockers in the last row.

Rin sighed.  _I don’t want you to worry._   “I think one breath’s a good idea.”

Haru’s eyes softened with understanding.  “Ah.”  Then Haru was hugging him.  The tension in Rin’s body faded as he relaxed in his lover’s arms. 

They were due at the 50m call room just prior to 1pm, heading that way with a few minutes to spare with their loved ones.

“Onii-chan—”  Gou interrupted herself to yawn, waving limply from halfway down the Rio 2016 barrier.  The dark circles under her eyes matched his mom’s, Makoto’s, and Sousuke’s.

“You guys don’t look like you slept at all,” Rin said as he and Haru joined them.

“That’s what planes are for,” Miyako said, picking a stray hair off the sleeve of Gou’s sweatshirt.  “The more tired we are, the better.”

_I wish that worked for me._

“But it was worth it to see Copacabana, Sugarloaf Mountain, the Christ the Redeemer statue…”  Gou patted her bag.  “I got tons of good pics.”

“—Mostly of the beach volleyball players,” Sousuke said.

“Hey!”  Gou frowned, her cheeks turning pink.  “We just _happened_ to run into the Canadian team…”

“Right…”  Rin smiled.

“Onii-chan!”  She glared at him.

“I wish we could stay for the rest of your races,” Makoto said quietly, talking to Haru.  “But I’m glad we can still watch this afternoon.”

It took Haru a second to answer.  “It’s OK.  I’m…really happy you could be here, Makoto.”

 _Haru…_   Rin’s heart ached as he looked on silently.

Makoto inhaled, his green eyes soft and glistening.  “Me too.”  He smiled.

“Aww, you guys!”  Gou fanned her face, blinking rapidly.  “It’s not time for goodbyes yet.  There’s still a bunch of swimming to go.”

“Yeah, you guys should get going,” Sousuke said.  “So you can focus on your race.”

 _There you go again, trying to make sure I’m not distracted._   Rin could appreciate the feelings behind his best friend’s efforts, _but_.  _You don’t even know, Sousuke._ Even if he could tune out what Haru felt, he wouldn’t.  _These races are about a lot more than winning._

After hugging their loved ones, Rin and Haru left with a wave. 

Once they were down the hall a bit, Rin slipped an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “You OK?”

“Yeah.”  Haru reached up, tangling their fingers together.  “I’m OK.”

-x-

The 50m call room was on the turn side of the pool, in the corner off lane zero.  It was smaller and brighter than the usual call room, with _Rio 2016_ stenciled onto the wall and free-standing blue partitions offering some separation between rows of white folding chairs.  There were eleven heats of the men’s 50m free, with the races scheduled only two minutes apart. 

Rin and Haru met up with the Australians after check in.

“ _Rin, Haruka_.”  Ethan McInnes shook hands with both of them, smiling.  “ _I’m starting to see a pattern with the two of you and it’s not cute at all_.”  He was teasing—Rin could tell that now—but there was also a slightly cooler look in the Australian captain’s eyes, versus yesterday.

 _I know I’d feel the same way._   To go from two silver medals in London to a bronze in the 200 and being edged out of the podium entirely in the 100…  _Ah, hell, I’d be so jealous it’d be ridiculous._

“ _This is a tough event_ ,” Haru said.  “ _Best of luck, Ethan.  I’m looking forward to swimming with you today_.” 

Ethan’s expression softened—but who could resist Haru, especially when he was trying so hard with the English?  “ _Aye.  You too, mate_.”

“ _I heard you went breathless in Rome_ ,” Ty said, jabbing Rin in the shoulder.  “ _You planning to smoke all of us out there?_ ”

Rin exhaled.  “ _We’ll see.  This one’s not easy for me_.”

Ty looked perplexed.  “ _That’s a strange thing for you to say._ ”

 _It’s honest._   He was done being cocky with things he had no business boasting about and the fifty free was at the top of that list.

After another searching look, Ty smiled.  “ _Yeah, OK.  Let’s make it a good one, aye?_ ”  He held out a fist.

“ _Yeah_.”  Rin bumped their knuckles together, smiling.

The ninth heat came around quickly.  Before Rin got in line, he took a moment with Haru behind the blue partition and away from the cameras. 

“Be careful out there,” he murmured, lifting Haru’s wrist to his lips.

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “You too, Rin.  Have fun in the water.”

“Yeah, Haru.”  He kissed his lover lightly on the mouth.  “I’ll feel the water and make you jealous.”

Haru’s gaze warmed with mirth.

 _You know I’m trying._   They hugged until the officials called his name.

Rin walked out in line with his competitors, deafened by the cheering for the Brazilian who’d be swimming on his right.  Ethan and Ty had lanes four and two, respectively, on Rin’s left.  He adjusted the lane five block and stripped down to his leg skins.

“Onii-chan!!”  “Rin!!” 

Rin spared a smile and a wave for his family.  Starting on this side of the pool, he was closer to them.  It was nice they could be here for this.

The rapid pulse sounded; Rin lowered his goggles over his eyes as he turned towards the pool.  Fifty meters of water in a yellow-roped lane awaited him.  He drew slow, deep breaths, working oxygen into his muscles.  At the long whistle, he stepped up and set his feet.

_One breath, Matsuoka.  Don’t fuck this up._

Rin bent forward, grasping the edge of the block and staring at the finish on the opposite side of the pool.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

He tensed, dropping his gaze to the water—

At the signal, Rin leapt forward.  His fingertips touched first and he plunged beneath the surface.  _Fifteen meters of dolphin kicks, then swim like hell._   It wasn’t complicated, just _hard_.  Rin took one breath past the halfway mark and sprinted to the wall, slamming his hand against the timing pad.  A wave of water crashed over his shoulders as he popped up to breathe and turned for the board.

The Ukrainian swimmer in lane three had taken first in the heat, sub-21.5.  Ethan was second—21.65, Rin got third—21.71, and Ty was fourth with 21.94.  No one in the first eight heats had broken twenty-two seconds, meaning Rin was in third place overall with two heats left to swim.

 _Our coaches were right_.  Rin clung to the wall as he slowly caught his breath.  His last official single-breath time was 21.86 at the Japan Swim.  Taper, shaving down, and spending fifteen minutes a day squeezing into his tech suit was paying off.  _Though, it’s still only the heats._

Rin swam over to congratulate Ethan before he climbed out of the pool and met up with Ty.  After waving at his teammates in the stands, he headed for his ID check and the Mixed Zone.

_“Mr. Matsuoka!”_

Rin grabbed a towel, drying his hair as he stepped up to the crowd of reporters at the barrier.  He answered questions during the tenth heat, where two American swimmers finished 21.6 and change.  It dropped Rin to fifth place, but he officially had a spot in the semi-finals, even if all eight swimmers in the final heat cut below him.

After the tenth heat cleared the pool, the eleventh heat headed out.

Rin flashed a smile at the reporters.  “ _Excuse me for just a minute_.”

He focused on the screen where Haru was walking out for lane three behind the top seed London gold medalist from France.  _Come on, Haru_.  Rin trapped his lips between his teeth as he watched, absently touching his left wrist for the bracelet he wasn’t wearing.

Haru stripped down to his _sakura_ jammers behind the blocks, stuffing his warmups into the bin and pressing his goggles into place.  The camera was mostly focused on the French swimmer in lane four, but with Haru next to him, Rin got to see his lover wave towards the stands with a small smile on his face.

 _It’s your last race with Makoto here.   I hope you enjoy it, Haru._   He wasn’t sure when he’d stopped being jealous about what Haru had with his best friend, but something about this week and seeing them spend time together…  Makoto was _family_ to Haru and when Rin thought about it in those terms, he understood how much Haru needed Makoto.  But that relationship was different from what Rin had with Haru.  He knew it in the way Haru looked at him, all those spicy and sassy quips, how their hearts raced when they touched and the way they lost themselves in each other’s arms and in their Someday dreams.  As long as those things were _theirs_ , he didn’t need to be jealous.

The camera switched to a view of the start blocks, all the swimmers in a line as they climbed up and took their positions.  Everyone was doing their breath work and final shakeouts before gripping the blocks—

The signal was given, all eight swimmers diving into the pool.  Underwater, the camera focused on lanes four and five, with just a glimpse of Haru in the background in lane three.  But as soon as the competitors surfaced, the view changed, showing the race from above.  Rin held his breath as Haru sailed across the pool, right up with the top seed French swimmer in the adjacent lane.  Lanes one through six were all aligned, with only lanes seven and eight behind by the slightest margin.  The camera switched to the finish as the swimmers charged to the wall.  France touched first, Japan second, Canada and Great Britain tying for third.

For once, Rin didn’t care about the clock.  _Show me Haru, damnit_.  The screen changed to a closeup view of the victor in lane four…and a few seconds later, Haru was in the shot, shaking hands with the French swimmer over the lane line.  Just that glimpse flooded Rin with relief—Haru looked fine as he caught his breath, exchanging some quick sentiment with the French swimmer (whom Haru had taken silver to back at the French Open in July).

The view switched to instant replays, Rin waiting for the times to be displayed and for Haru to show up.  He had no doubt Haru had claimed a spot in the semi-finals, too.

Seconds later, the results flashed on the screen.  Haru’s second place finish was 21.80.  The overall ranking followed, with Ethan fourth, Rin fifth, Haru eighth, and Ty fourteenth.  _We get to race again tonight_.  Though his elation was tempered—at some point, a single-breath fifty wasn’t going to be enough anymore.  The semi-finals might be that cutoff.

As swimmers started coming through the Mixed Zone, Rin stepped back from the barrier, waiting…

Haru entered the corridor, shaking the water from his face and hair.

“Haru!”

They met in the middle, Rin wrapping his lover in a fierce hug.  Haru’s skin was warm and damp and he was still a little breathless.

Rin drew back, his hands resting on Haru’s shoulders.  “How’s…?”  He was too scared to say the words.

Haru lifted his right hand, opening and closing his fingers.  “Right-hand finish,” he said, smiling.  “Probably cost me a tenth.”

Rin quirked a brow as his fear evaporated—Haru’s alleged tenth would’ve put him 21.70, one one-hundredth under Rin’s time.  “Show off,” he muttered and grinned.  They hugged again—squeezing each other tight.  Rin savored the way Haru leaned against him and the feel of Haru’s deep breaths from the exertion.

_“Mr. Matsuoka!  Mr. Nanase!”_

They parted after a few more seconds—delaying as long as they could.  Sharing a chagrined smile, Rin and Haru made their way to the press.

-x-

Just after 2pm, Rin joined his competitors in the normal first call room behind the start blocks.  He’d seeded into the sixth heat (of six) for the hundred fly, in lane five, with the illustrious and enviable privilege of swimming next to the Olympic and World Record holder—top seed Damien Andrews.  Sugiyama was second seed and would swim in the fifth heat.

The only good thing about racing with both Damien and Sugiyama was that the longtime rivals were wholly focused on kicking the other’s ass—Sugiyama glaring ice daggers in Damien’s direction while Damien posed extra hard with the younger swimmers—so Rin could sit in the back with his music, undisturbed and allowed to focus.

Takara had made seventh place overall in the 800m free, qualifying for Friday night’s final.  Once the butterfly heats were complete, Konishi would be up for her second event—the 200m backstroke.

Rin’s phone chirped at him, interrupting his music.  He glanced down at the text.

 _[You’re gonna kill it out there, Rin,]_ Sousuke wrote.

The feelings that welled up inside him were bittersweet.  _Our race_.  As much as anything freestyle belonged to him and Haru, butterfly races were his and Sousuke’s.  _I wish we were swimming this together._   He missed the carefree rivalry they had together as kids, before they both grew up and shit got complicated.

 _[Thanks,]_ he tapped out in reply.  After another second, he added, _[Your surgery’s still next Friday?]_

_[Yeah.  Rin, you need to prep for your race.]_

_[Shut up, I’ll prep how I want to.  I just want you to know that I’ll be there.]  This time I get to be there for you, damnit._

There was a short pause.  _[Right, because you do so well with hospitals…]_

 _[I’ll manage.]_   If needed, he’d ask Haru to come with him.  _[I’m your best friend.  I get to take care of you sometimes.]_

The second pause was longer…  _[Thanks, Rin.  That means a lot.]_

Another text appeared, this one from Gou.   _[Whatever you and Sousuke are texting about got him all choked up.  To be fair, he’s as sleep-deprived as the rest of us…but it’s really cute.]_   She added hearts and a grinning emoji.

Rin smiled.  _Softie._

From the final call room, Rin watched Sugiyama put up 51.39 in the fifth heat, lane four, grabbing the top spot so far.  _Taking it easy for the heats, huh?_  

When it was time for the sixth heat, Rin shut off his music and got in line with Damien behind him.  They walked out to massive amounts of cowbell, Rin ignoring chants of _USA-USA_ from the stands as he went to the block on lane five.  The wedge was already where he wanted it, but he took a moment to ensure it was locked into place.  Then he sat down to remove his shoes.

“Rin-senpai!”  “Matsuoka!!”

Rin smiled to himself, shoving his sneakers into the bin.  He stood up, unzipping his warmup jacket.

“Rin!”

His smile turned into a grin, and a sly one at that, at the sound of Haru’s voice.  Rin met his lover’s gaze, Haru sitting between Captain Ikehara and Mikoshiba in the second row.  He stripped off his warmups with flourish and went to the blocks, waiting with a hand perched on his hip.

On his right, Damien was ignoring him, which was just fine with Rin.  _Let’s see what you’ve got in the hundred fly, Andrews._

At the four-pulse, Rin settled his goggles into place, perching one foot on the block.  He climbed up at the long whistle, readying himself for the start.

_“Take your marks.”_

Rin leapt forward at the buzzer, his reaction time fast, his streamline perfect.  At fifteen meters, he surfaced into a sprint, keeping up with Damien easily.  Rin was tempted to turn it up and surge into the lead, but he didn’t give in, waiting to see what the guy would do in the second half. 

They hit the open turn at the same time, ducking underwater and pushing off hard for the back fifty.  Rin got one good look at the field as he dolphin-kicked.  The furthest lanes were trailing, but everyone else was right up with him and Damien.  As they came up to stroke, Rin accelerated hard, punishing the water with each full-body plunge, keeping himself as flat as possible.  He could see the arc of Damien’s hand from the corner of his eye; Rin was right on pace.  They went for the wall, Rin stretching forward for the two-handed touch—

He popped up to loud cheering and more cowbell, twisting for the board as he pulled off both caps and his goggles.

_LN 4 – USA – ANDREWS Damien – 51.23 – 1_

_LN 5 – JPN – MATSUOKA Rin – 51.25 – 2_

Rin could’ve done more, but he wasn’t going to complain about a second place finish and a semi-final qual.  Every qual was a new opportunity to prove himself to Coach Fujino, though it’d be the final—Friday night—that mattered the most.  That was when Sugiyama was really going to pull it out and not hold back.

Rin caught his breath, leaning back against the wall with one hand on the edge.

“ _You kept up_.”  Damien’s voice came from over the lane line between them, on Rin’s right.

 _Ass_.  Rin readied a particularly lethal smile.  “ _Like it’s hard when you’re not trying_.”

Damien’s smile was as brilliant as always.  The condescending flicker was in his eyes, barely discernable, but Rin was getting used to seeing it.  “ _Sorry, Rin.  But as I told you last night, this doesn’t concern you_.”

The guy didn’t literally say _run along to the kiddie pool_ , but he might as well have.  Rin’s smile didn’t falter.  “ _Is that what they said to you in Athens?  Must be great you can reuse the lines_.”

Damien’s eyes cooled for a fraction of a second, then he laughed.  “ _You’re something else, Rin Matsuoka._ ”  The guy hoisted himself out of the pool, raising a triumphant fist to more chanting and cowbell.

 _So much for, ‘Be less of a dickhead,’ huh?_   Rin rolled his eyes as he swam to the side and climbed out.

-x-

After the Mixed Zone and warm down, Rin took a hot shower, lingering under the steam and spray in his leg skins as he washed Damien Andrews from his mind.  That guy wasn’t worth thinking about.

“Rin.”

He opened his eyes, brushing water from his face. 

Haru was standing on the other side of the half-wall that separated the shower area from the rest of the locker room.  He was gripping the zipper pull on his warmup jacket—Rin doubted Haru even knew he was doing it.  Haru’s eyes were bright blue and focused sharply on Rin…or maybe it was the water…or maybe both.

Rin cranked off the shower and squeezed the water from his hair.  What he really wanted to do was work out his frustration in a _lengthy_ and _naked_ nap where neither of them got any sleep…  He rested his forearms on the communal wall, leaning towards his lover.  _If we were a little more alone, I’d just say ‘fuck it’ and kiss you._

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “Good race, Rin.”

“Thanks.  Did Konishi swim already?”

Haru nodded.  “Yeah, she qualed in seventh, overall.”

“Nice.”  Rin straightened, wiping droplets from his arms.  “Guess we’re done then, huh?”

“…Ah.”  Haru’s face smoothed, his gaze taking on weight.  He offered Rin a towel.

“Thanks.”  Rin pressed his lips, sobering immediately.  “Let me get dressed.”

-x-

The flight to London was scheduled to leave at 9:30pm.  At 4:30pm, after a quick meal at a local place, Rin, Haru, and a small crowd of their teammates had gathered at the condo complex for the sendoff.  There was a pile of luggage at the curb and it was the only orderly thing.  Everything else was pure chaos.  Momo had his arms and legs wrapped around his sister as he sat on the ground wailing while Sousuke and Takara had positioned themselves behind a column—like anyone was going to believe they were just talking and not kissing.  Gou and Mikoshiba had snuck off somewhere—ostensibly for Mikoshiba to hand over that pink glitter gift bag, Rin’s mom was crying against Rin’s shoulder, and Haru and Makoto were looking at each other like the world was ending.  Kawamura and Sada were off to one side, quietly watching the spectacle and commenting to each other every so often.

Rin held the tissue packet for his mom, the shoulder of his sweatshirt damp.  _Nagisa, wish you were here…_   It was fine for his mom to say that ‘no sleep’ was best for the plane, but… _you gotta survive until then, first._

The airport shuttle finally arrived, the driver getting out to open the back for the luggage.

Mikan detangled herself from Momo.  “Makoto, would you give me a hand?”

“Sure, Mikan.”  Makoto brushed his eyes and left Haru with a smile, joining Mikan at the curb and lifting the first bag into the van.  “After this, I think we should do one last passport and boarding pass check.”

“You read my mind.”  Mikan flashed a grin, the two of them forming a relay to pass suitcases to the vehicle.

 _You guys work together well, huh?_   Then again, Makoto was basically a mom already and Mikan was used to dealing with Momo, so…

Miyako lifted her head from Rin’s shoulder, drying her eyes with a damp tissue.  “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

Rin smiled.  “Why’d you bother?”

“Hmph.”  His mom lifted a brow, amusement warming her face.  “Where on earth did my son learn to be sassy?  Was it in Australia?  Because it certainly wasn’t Haruka’s influence.”

Rin fought the urge to grin.  “Certainly not.”

Miyako gave Rin a look and went to hug Haru.  “Thanks for putting up with Rin.  I know he can be a handful.”

“It’s OK,” Haru said, smiling faintly as she let him go.  “I love him, so.”  He shrugged like, _no big deal_. 

Rin’s face caught fire.  _You just said that in front of my mom.  Yup, of course you did…_  

Miyako’s eyes brightened with delight.  She hugged Haru again.  “I’m _so_ happy for both of you.  I…”  As she trailed off, the waterworks started again.

By the shuttle, Makoto and Mikan shared a look that Rin understood implicitly.  _It’s gonna be a long couple of flights…_

“OK, OK, I’m going.”  Miyako grabbed the tissue packet from Rin and shouldered her travel bag.  She hugged Rin once more.  “Don’t be a stranger.  Come home once in a while.”

“For sure for New Year’s,” Rin said, hugging her back.

His mom smiled.  “Love you,” she whispered.  “From both of us.”

Rin inhaled long and slow, fighting a surge of emotion.  He managed to nod as he worked around the lump in his throat.  “Love you too.”

She patted his cheek and Haru’s as she drew back, giving them both an affectionate look before she finally pulled away and headed for the shuttle.  “Gou-honey!  Sousuke!”

“Uh, coming.”  Sousuke stepped out from behind the column, wiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb. 

Takara followed him, holding a makeup compact as she reapplied her lip gloss.

 _Subtle, you two_.  All of their clothes were in place, but Rin didn’t doubt their goodbye kissing involved a lot of tongue.

Miyako cleared her throat, on the verge of climbing into the van.  “Gou?”

Rin’s sister flew in from around the corner of the building, clutching the pink glitter gift bag.  It matched her face.  “Bye, Onii-chan!”  She gave him the fastest hug in the history of the world and dove into the shuttle with their mom.  “OK, let’s go!”

Rin’s brow twitched…and twitched again—harder—when Mikoshiba drifted in her wake, blushing and starry-eyed.

“Mikoshiba.”

“Hmm?”  The guy came over—floated really.

Rin folded his arms.  “Did you kiss my sister?”

Mikoshiba coughed.  “Matsuoka, I would never just up and do something like _that_ …”

“…Did she kiss you?” Haru asked.

“Aha…ahaha…”  The guy turned redder than his hair.

 _Bingo_.

Mikoshiba retreated, scratching the back of his neck.  “I, uh, I gotta give Mikan a hug, so—”

Rin drew a deep, cleansing breath as Mikoshiba escaped…  _Ah, hell.  Not like I can do much about it when it’s her choice._

As the Mikoshiba siblings said their goodbyes, Haru leaned in, his voice lowered to a whisper.  “I didn’t see any rings, Rin.”

 _Thank God_. 

Sousuke stopped over by Kawamura first, the two fist-bumping before he came to Rin and the shuttle.

“Drama, huh?” Rin asked. 

“We’ll see what happens.”  Sousuke shrugged.  “Kick ass tonight, Rin.  Tomorrow and Saturday, too.”

“Thanks.”  They clasped hands and leaned in for a hug.  “See you next week.”

“Later.”  Sousuke climbed into the van with a smile.

Mikan followed, leaving only Makoto still standing on the curb.

“Guess this is it for now,” Makoto said, smiling in that warm way of his.  “Good luck for the rest of the week, you two.”

“Thanks, Makoto,” Rin said.  They bumped fists.

Haru didn’t say anything, his eyes gleaming like he was standing in front of a pool without any water in it.

“Haru…  See you next week, OK?  I’ll come to the airport.”

Haru swallowed and nodded.  The two hugged; Rin’s chest ached for Haru’s sake as he watched Haru cling to his best friend and the reluctance with which he let go.

Makoto’s eyes were misty as he pulled away and waved before getting into the shuttle.

The door slid closed, their loved ones waving through the windows as the vehicle slowly left the curb and headed for the road.

The Olympians waved back until the shuttle passed the gate, turned onto the street, and drove out of sight.

“Sada-nee, can I have a hug?”  Momo was still sniffling.

“Sure, Squeaker.”

“Finally got some action, eh Seijuurou?” Takara asked.

Mikoshiba cleared his throat.  “Not as much as you, Takara-kun.  I told you not to put on a show in front of my brother.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Takara flipped loose black hair over her shoulder.

_The satisfied smirk on your face kind of gives it away, Sakamoto._

“Shall we head back?” Kawamura asked, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Great idea, Ryouta-kun.”  Takara headed for the sidewalk, dragging Mikoshiba along by the arm.

 _On Monday you were ready to murder the guy and now you’re on a first name basis?  Someone’s in a really good mood…_   Whether that had to do with her kissing Sousuke or the fact that Kawamura was hanging out with other Olympians often since finishing his event, Rin didn’t spare any more speculation on the reason.

As the others started to leave, he stayed behind with Haru.  The breeze sifted through their hair and rippled across their sweatshirts, their teammates’ voices and laughter receding into the distance.  Haru was quiet, his arms hanging at his sides and his gaze fixed on the pool where they’d hung out and barbequed a couple days ago.

Rin waited a whole minute before breaking the silence.  “Haru…you OK?”

Haru turned, Rin catching the dull pain in blue eyes before Haru walked into his arms. 

Rin closed his eyes, hugging the one he loved tightly.

“Better now,” Haru murmured.

-x-

Haru seemed more normal after a shower—just holding each other—and their nap.  They headed downstairs early; Coach Fujino had asked for a meeting at 8pm before they headed back to the Aquatic Centre for the semi-finals and finals.

The JOC’s offices were on the first floor of their tower—both the JOC proper and the various federations and associations for the different sports disciplines.  Rin led the way down the hall to the JASF office.  The door was open, the small room stuffed with staff members; more JASF staff spilled over into the adjacent offices on a temporary basis.

“Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun.”  Coach Fujino smiled at them as they arrived.  He rose from his desk, closing a glossy blue and white folder with the JASF logo on the cover.  “Thanks for letting me interrupt your prep routine.  I promise to be brief.”  Bringing the folder, he met them at the doorway.  “We’ll use the conference room.”

They went down the hall and around the corner to a quieter area, entering an interior conference room with a round table and six chairs.  Coach Fujino closed the door and sat down.

Rin and Haru took seats across the table.

“Congratulations again.  I know I’ve been saying that like a broken record, but the two of you keep exceeding our expectations in spectacular ways.  And I’m not just speaking for the coaching staff, but the JASF and JOC as well.”  Fujino folded his hands atop the folder.  “I really can’t say it enough.”

Rin felt a glow of pride.  He and Haru bowed their heads deeply.

“I know everything Rio is on your mind right now, but the time has come to talk about what’s next and I wanted to get this in front of you as soon as I could.”

Rin straightened, holding his breath.

Coach Fujino opened the folder, withdrawing a pamphlet and placing it in front of them.  On the cover was a swimmer mid-stroke, sponsors’ logos, and the header _FINA Airweave Swimming World Cup._

 _Yes!  World Cup!_   Rin bit down on his lower lip to keep from grinning.

“I take it you’re familiar, Matsuoka-kun?”

“Hai.”  He dipped his head again, blushing.

“This is one of the premier short-course events of the year, held by FINA member federations across the world.  Nine two-day meets from the end of August—this month—through the end of October.  JASF has decided to extend invitations to both of you.”

 _Hell yes!_   _First Rio and then the world!_

“I have proposed itineraries for you—”  Coach Fujino took two more sheets of paper from the JASF folder.  “These are _identical_ ,” Fujino stressed the word, “and flexible, should you choose to accept the invitation.  Obviously, our hope is that you’d attend all of the meets, but we understand that personal obligations may make that difficult.  JASF is willing to sponsor you, including all travel expenses, as long as you commit to a minimum of six of the nine meets.”

“…We get to choose?” Haru asked quietly.

Rin’s enthusiasm was dampened by flashbacks of last time they got itineraries.  _But we can go together this time._

Haru’s face was unreadable as he glanced between the page and their coach.

“Yes.”  Fujino nodded.  “As one of the host federations—for the eighth meet in Tokyo—JASF is obligated to send its top swimmers, a minimum of four, to all of the other meets.  But, we issue more than four invitations to account for personal constraints.  Your invitations are not predicated on the decisions of other members of the team, whether they decline or accept.”

 _Top swimmers, Haru.  Let that one sink in for a moment.  It’s our first year with the National Team and already…_   Rin was floored by the thought. 

“The reason I’m putting this in front of you now, versus waiting until your events here are done, is because the deadline for final registration for the first meet in Paris is Tuesday.”

Rin glanced down at the paper.  The Paris meet was the 26th and 27th, followed by Berlin the 30th and 31st, and Moscow the first weekend in September.  The itinerary departed Tokyo on the 24th, flying nonstop to Paris and arriving the same day.  It wasn’t a lot of time to be home after Rio, not even a week.  But after Moscow, there was a three week gap mid-September before traveling to Beijing for the fourth meet.   

_Beijing!  Would we get to swim at the Water Cube, where they held the 2008 Olympics?_

“We’re not asking for your entire decision by next week, but we need to know about Paris by Tuesday and about Berlin by next Saturday.  JASF is willing to fund these meets regardless of your decision about the whole event, given the short time frame for your consideration.”

He’d be leaving five days after Sousuke’s surgery.  _I could still be there for your initial recovery_.  Rin knew Sousuke would kick his ass if he even thought about skipping an international meet to play nursemaid. 

Coach Fujino closed the folder, placing it in front of them.  “All of the information about the venues, accommodations, events, and prizes are in here.  It’s primarily individual events with one mixed relay.”  Fujino smiled.  “We might have to be a bit creative, depending on the makeup of the team and your specialties, but I’m sure we’ll be able to work it out.”  He sat back.  “As far as the fall semester at Koutei is concerned…  I’ve already spoken with the head of the art department, Nanase-kun, who assured me that your absence could be accommodated.  As for the coaching program, Matsuoka-kun, should you choose to enroll…”  Fujino smiled emphatically at him.  “The class schedule is already built around the coaching staff’s availability, so there’s no impact.”

 _You’re trying to make this as easy as possible on me._   Not that Rin was complaining.

“Any questions, Olympians?”

“None here, Coach Fujino,” Rin said.  _Can I give you my answer now?_

Haru shook his head. 

“Very well.”  Coach Fujino stood up, Rin and Haru following suit.  “Congratulations again, Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun.  It’s a privilege getting to work with you.”  He shook hands with them in turn.

They bowed deeply.  “Please, the privilege is ours, Coach Fujino,” Rin said.

“Hai,” Haru said.

Fujino smiled warmly, the fatherly pride obvious in his eyes.  “If you do think of questions, please let myself or the other coaches know.  You can also ask Ozawa-san and Koda-kun.  Both have participated before and they’ve already committed to the full meet schedule.  But for now…it’s time to focus on your semi-finals tonight.”  His expression sobered.  “For the fifty free, everyone who _can_ go breathless _will_ go breathless.  You’re the best to judge if you’re up for it or not.  Push yourselves but don’t break yourselves, alright?  If you need that breath, I want you to take it.”  Fujino folded his arms.  “Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin inhaled.  “Hai.”

“The way the hundred fly seeded, you’re in the first semi-final while Sugiyama-kun and Andrews-san are in the second.  You’ll want to be within a half second of your best time for a good position in the final.”

Rin didn’t hesitate.  “Can do, Coach.”

Fujino smiled again.  “Good luck tonight.  I’ll see you both for warm ups at nine.”

“Thank you, Coach Fujino.”  They bowed again, Rin grabbing the folder with their paperwork as they headed out.

Haru studied their itinerary as they walked down the hall.

Rin said nothing at first.  Haru was quiet, but he wasn’t running from the building…that had to be a good sign, right?  It was a lot of travel…  They’d already been away from home for two and a half months—almost three months in Haru’s case—and Haru _just_ said goodbye to his best friend again…  _It’s kind of a lot to ask, less than a week at home with Makoto before we ship out again to three more countries…_ It was only two more weeks, but Haru might not see it that way.  Rin was determined, this time, that he wouldn’t stick his foot in his mouth and say something stupid.

“Haru?”

“Hm?”  Haru lowered the paper, glancing at him.  His eyes were indecipherable.  It was one of those now-rare times when Rin had no idea what was going on in Haru’s head.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to say.  _I can’t tell if it’s residual from Makoto leaving, or you’re just being normal, or…_ He didn’t want to consider the third option.  His mind was made up, but it never occurred to him before now that Haru might not want to go.  _When I pictured us taking on the world together, it was never just the Olympics._   Making the National Team, in Rin’s mind, meant doing it all—World Cup, Asian Swimming Championships, World Championships.  And as long as funding wasn’t an issue, he was in.  _Am I…pushing my dream onto you again?_   Rin clutched the JASF folder with their World Cup materials.  _It’s not fair of me to assume that you want this as much as I do._   …But he couldn’t bring himself to ask, either. 

Haru’s gaze flicked across his face.  He folded the page, slipping it into the outer pocket of his gear bag.  “…Do you think Paris hotels have bathtubs?”

 _Oh God_.  Relief poured through Rin’s body.  He threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders from behind, kissing Haru’s cheek.  “Let’s ask until we get one,” he murmured, soaking in the small smile on Haru’s face.  It was just a hard day, that was all.  Rin squeezed his lover tight.  “Wanna go?”

Haru nodded.

-x-

Thursday night was another full program for Team Japan—men’s 50 free semi-finals, women’s 200 breaststroke final, men’s 200 backstroke final, women’s 200 backstroke semi-finals, men’s 200IM final, women’s 100 free final, and the men’s 100 fly semi-finals to finish out the night.  After warm ups, Rin and Haru headed to the 50m call room on the turn side of the pool, meeting up with their Australian rivals.  Rin had a ton of texts on his phone, along with the notification that their loved ones’ plane had departed on time.   _I’m glad you guys came, even for a few days._   _You brought Dad, too._   Rin smiled, thinking of the envelope on his nightstand.  The last couple of days, his family had been almost whole again—closer than they’d been in a decade.  He’d never forget the Olympic medals he’d won with his loved ones watching. 

—Not that Rin was stopping there.  He sat back in the plastic chair, music blaring in his ears.  _Three events to go_.  Haru was beside him, scrolling through text messages with his earbuds in.  Ty and Ethan were in the row ahead of them, hanging out in their green and gold trackies.

Just before 10pm, the officials with their clipboards came to the front of the room and started calling names.

Haru pocketed his phone and earbuds, getting up and smoothing a wrinkle from his cap. 

Rin pulled his earbuds free.  “Gonna do it?” he asked.

“We’ll see.”  Haru leaned down for a hug.

“Love you,” Rin whispered.

“Love you too.”  Haru kissed his cheek.  “I’ll see you after, Rin.”

“Ah.”

Haru pulled away, lining up between swimmers from Great Britain and France. 

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the semi-finals of the men’s fifty meter freestyle.”_

Rin bumped fists with Ethan and Ty as they also headed off to the line.

 _“In lane eight, representing Brazil…”_   The crowd noise surged, drowning out the Portuguese that followed.

_“In lane one, representing Australia…  …Ty Bingham.”_

There was only one door and no fancy screen backing the swimmers as they headed out from the corner by lane zero.  Rin split his attention between Haru moving forward in line and the live view on the TV at the front of the call room.

_“In lane seven, representing Greece…”  “In lane two, representing Great Britain…”_

Haru stepped up to the doorway, drawing a breath.

 _You got this, Haru._  

_“In lane six, representing Japan… …Haruka Nanase.”_

Rin switched his gaze to the screen as Haru walked out, heading for the block on lane six.

France had lane three, Ethan had lane five, and an American swimmer had lane four.

Rin sat forward in his chair, his elbows braced on his knees as he watched the competitors ready themselves behind the blocks.  Down the line, everyone was doing their breath work—measured deep breaths to saturate their muscles with as much oxygen as possible.  _I bet all of you go breathless._   Ethan for sure would, the London gold medalist from France definitely would, and Haru…  Rin exhaled, smiling despite a twinge of jealousy.

The four-pulse sounded, the swimmers heading to the blocks.  Rin toyed with the cord from his earbuds as he watched Haru climb up at the long whistle and set his feet—

 _“Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start please.”_   The request was repeated in Portuguese and the crowd noise finally faded.

_“Take your marks.”_

The swimmers tensed, the buzzer went off—

Eight competitors hit the water, the underwater view cutting out lane six—damnit.  But it was only a few seconds before the camera switched to look at the race from above.  Lanes two through six were all neck-in-neck, chasing the Olympic Record pace line that moved across the pool in gold.  The French swimmer was on top of it and the others were close, too.  No one breathed that Rin could see, though it was hard to be sure with the churning white foam surrounding each swimmer.  For the last ten meters, the view was the wall—five swimmers charging for the finish—and the cheering was deafening.  The graphics popped up as the swimmers hit—France first, USA second, Australia third.  Haru, in the lane next to Ethan, had taken either fourth or fifth, Ty and the swimmers in lanes seven and eight finished slightly after.  Rin exhaled as the cameras switched to a closeup of the French swimmer in lane three.  His time was only a couple _hundredths_ over the Olympic Record.  _I thought 21.55 was insane, but 21.3-something?  Wow._

_“Senhor Matsuoka?”_

Rin didn’t get to see Haru’s time as he got up and took his place in line, but he’d find out in the Mixed Zone.  He was the sixth swimmer to walk out, taking his place behind the block for lane three.  Rin caught himself glancing up to the stands on the right as he stripped off his warmups…but their loved ones’ seats were occupied by others; there was no one to wave the Iwatobi banner tonight.

Rin had the top seed from Ukraine on his right and a swimmer from Canada on his left.  He drew one slow breath after another, staring down the fifty meters of water in his lane.  _Do I dare?_   Thirty-five meters was the magic number—that was where he always fucked up in Sierra Nevada, except for the one night when Haru sprained his wrist.  Admittedly, he’d been sleep-deprived and training at altitude, but…  _If I don’t at least try, I may not make the final at all._

At the four-pulse, Rin pressed his goggles into place.  _Fuck it.  Forty meters.  Let’s at least try for that._

He climbed up at the long whistle, shaking out his arms as he positioned his feet.

“ _Take your marks_.”

Rin grasped the block, tensing—

At the start, he sprung forward, slicing into the water and dolphin-kicking smoothly.  He kept his head down at the fifteen meter mark, pulling hard.  Twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty-five—  His lungs burned and his muscles were on fire, but there was no vision—no boat, no drowning, no churning sea.  He made forty and turned his head, quirking his lips for the tiniest pull of air.  It gave him enough to surge for the wall and he slammed his hand home.

Spray crashed over his shoulders as he gripped the edge of the pool and breathed.  He could already hear Maekawa yelling at him in his head for breathing with less than ten meters to go, but Rin had no regrets.  Getting this close again was a major victory.  Maybe by tomorrow night, he’d really be able to go for it.

…Supposing he made the final.  Rin raked off his caps and goggles, twisting for the board.  USA and Ukraine had tied for first place in the heat at 21.4 and change.  Rin was third, his single-breath time was his best yet—21.68.  But would it be enough?

He waited, drawing one deep breath after another—

The overall ranking—the eight finalists for Friday night—flashed on the board:  France had the top qual, followed by Ukraine, both swimmers from Team USA, Ethan, Great Britain…and there at the bottom, snagging spots seven and eight—Haruka Nanase 21.59 and Rin Matsuoka 21.68.

 _Hell yes_.  Rin slammed a fist into the water, grinning as he continued to catch his breath.  A qual was a qual, no one said it had to be pretty.  After shaking hands with his competitors, Rin ducked under the lane lines, swimming to the side of the pool and climbing out.  He waved to their teammates in the stands, got his face matched to his ID, and grabbed a towel as he headed into the Mixed Zone.

All the top finishers from the first heat were still there—France, the Australian captain, and Great Britain.  Ty was there too, smiling for the press despite failing to qualify for the final.  As reporters called out to him, Rin looked up and down the line twice…and went cold.

Haru wasn’t there.

 _It’s not like you just had to go to the bathroom._   _Fuck!_   Fear squeezed his chest as he slipped behind his competitors, ignoring the press.  Kasai’s voice echoed in his head— _It’s the sharp, hyperextension of the wrist that we’re concerned about, Nanase-kun_ —and all he could see was the shattered look in blue eyes that was seared into his memories ever since that night beside the pool in Sierra Nevada.

Rin moved as fast as he could without running, dodging swimmers and staff members.  He pushed through the double doors into the warm up area—

Haru was sitting on one of the green treatment tables in his jammers while Kasai examined his wrist.  Rin’s steps slowed, the feeling draining from his body.

 _No, hold it the fuck together, Matsuoka.  This isn’t the same as last time._ In Sierra Nevada, _all_ of Rio had been on the line.  But here and now, Haru already had three medals.  An injury couldn’t take those away, nor the four whole events they’d swam together, including two relays.  The only events Haru had left were the fifty free final…and the medley.

Thinking of the medley threatened to break him, but Rin forcibly shoved the thoughts aside.  _One thing at a time._   He continued to their team area.  Haru had his back to him, perched on the table.

Kasai changed the position of Haru’s wrist.  “Does this hurt, Nanase-kun?”

“No,” Haru said quietly.

“How about that?”

“No.”

“This here?”

Haru shook his head.

“OK, this?”

Haru inhaled.  “Maybe…one or one-point-five?”

Kasai nodded.  “Alright.  It’s just a little stressed.  You must’ve hit pretty hard, huh?”

Haru’s voice was small when he answered.  “…Hai.”

“Don’t worry.”  She smiled reassuringly.  “I’ll tape it so you can warm down, then we’ll get some ice on it right away, OK?”  Kasai opened her kit, grabbing the roll of tape and tearing off a piece.  “I’ll drop off some ice in the morning, too.  My recommendation would be to let it rest for twenty-four hours, but if your event schedule doesn’t allow that…”  She hummed as she wrapped the first strip of tape around Haru’s wrist. 

Rin nearly jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder.  It was Coach Fujino, offering a smile before he joined Kasai and Haru.  Rin folded his arms, trying to ignore the sour feeling tumbling in his stomach.

“What’s your assessment, Kasai-san?” Fujino asked.

“Stressed but not reinjured.  I certainly wouldn’t bother with any invasive testing.  I was just telling Nanase-kun that it’d be best to ice and rest for the next twenty-four hours, if that’s possible.”  She tore off another strip of tape.

“Fortunately, your final’s not until tomorrow night,” Fujino said.

Haru looked at their coach.  “But…”

 _But the medley heats tomorrow afternoon_ …  Rin swallowed.

“I know you’re looking forward to the medley relay.  But this is why we have alternates.  It’s alright for you to skip the prelim.”

Rin squeezed his eyes shut.  _But we were supposed to swim the prelim together…in case I don’t beat Sugiyama in the hundred fly._   He could picture the rosters now—Momo, Ikehara, Sugiyama, and Rin for the prelim…Momo, Ikehara, Sugiyama, and Haru for the final.

 _It could be a lot worse._   If Haru had reinjured his wrist, he would’ve been forced to scratch the fifty free final and wouldn’t be able to swim either race of the medley…  Rin clung to that perspective as hard as he could.  _One-point-five, you said.  That’s nothing like when you sprained your wrist initially_.  He could already picture Sada rolling her eyes at how cautious the staff was being. 

 _Even if we can’t swim the prelim together, it’s still one team._ He’d dismissed the prelim in the past, but if that part of the team didn’t get it done, there wouldn’t even be a final to swim, so…  _I can swim the prelim for both of us…and you can swim the final for both of us_.  It wasn’t ideal, but it was _something_ —

“Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin opened his eyes at the sound of Coach Fujino’s voice.  “Hai.”

Haru twisted towards him on the treatment table, his eyes wide.  When their gazes met, Haru’s face fell, shame coloring his cheeks.

_The absolute last thing you need right now is me losing it over the medley._

“You’re good with anchoring tomorrow afternoon?”

“Hai.”  Rin dipped his head.  “Of course.”

Coach Fujino smiled.  He patted Haru’s shoulder and moved off to join the rest of the coaching staff.

Kasai finished the tape job.  “There you go, Nanase-kun.  I’ll have ice for you as soon as you’re done.”

“Thank you,” Haru murmured.  He slid off the table—

—and Rin was there, throwing his caps and goggles down and folding Haru into his arms.  “Haru,” he whispered, squeezing tight. 

Haru didn’t respond at first, but when Rin kissed his cheek, his arms wound around Rin’s waist and a tremor ran through his body.  “I got…distracted.  Rin, I’m sorry—”

“—Don’t fucking apologize.”  Rin drew back far enough to meet Haru’s eyes, a hot ache running through his chest.  “You’re _not_ fine.”  _With Makoto leaving, with our World Cup schedule…_   “Why didn’t you say so?”

Haru’s face clouded.  “I thought I was.”  He dropped his head to Rin’s shoulder, his voice barely a whisper.  “I thought if I told myself I was…”

“Dummy.”  Rin lifted one hand to Haru’s hair, running his fingers through the damp strands.

Coach Maekawa passed them.  “Don’t wait too long to warm down, boys.”

Rin reluctantly let go.  “We’ll talk tonight.”  He coaxed Haru’s eyes to his with soft caresses, smoothing shards of hair with his thumbs.  He leaned towards Haru’s lips.

Haru accepted the brief, chaste brush of lips; Rin felt him relax with a shuddering exhale as they parted.  Haru’s eyes glistened with affection and emotion. 

Rin smiled, taking his lover’s hand carefully.  “Come on.”

Haru let him lead the way to the pool.

-x-

Warm down felt amazing after a hard fifty free; Rin could feel his body recovering as the stiffness faded from his muscles.  _Just in time for a hundred meters of fly…_  

Rin surfaced at the end of his set and swam to the side so he wouldn’t be in the way.  Haru joined him there.

“How is it?” Rin asked as he tugged his goggles down to his throat.

Haru shrugged, stripping off his cap and goggles with his right hand.  “It’s hard to tell.  Still not above a one-point-five though.”

Rin slid an arm around Haru’s shoulders and smiled.  “You went breathless, huh?”

“Yeah.”  Haru’s expression turned sheepish.  “I forgot I shouldn’t hit left-handed.  At least not that hard.”

“Well, you barely did anything according to Kasai-san.”  Rin’s smile turned wry.  “Admit it, you just wanted an excuse to skip the Mixed Zone.”

Haru’s eyes widened.  He smiled faintly.  “I don’t feel guilty about that.”

Rin chuckled.

“What about you?  Did you…?”

“Hmph.  For forty-two meters, maybe.”

“Still, that’s more than before.”

“Yeah.”  Rin drew Haru closer.  “I feel pretty good about it, actually.”

Haru’s eyes warmed, as beautiful as his smile.  “When do you have to go?”

Rin twisted for a glance at the board behind the start blocks.  “Eh, soonish.  I should probably start getting ready.”

“I’ll walk you.”

They climbed out via the ladder, holding hands as they headed back to their team area to dry off.

“Coach, we had an agreement.”

Rin paused with the towel on his head.  Sugiyama and Coach Fujino were towards the back of the team area, talking in low voices, but if they really wanted a private conversation, they should’ve taken things elsewhere than the crowded pool deck…

“I realize that, Sugiyama-kun.  That’s why I’m asking you, not telling you.”

“I can’t risk it.  Would you, in my position?  The hundred fly tomorrow night is the only reason I’m here.  I can’t swim the relay prelim.”

Assuming the guy made the fly final, though it was pretty much a forgone conclusion at this point.  Rin would’ve put money on it.

“If that’s your decision…  I’ll get one of the alternates.”

“That’s what they’re here for.”

Rin went back to scrubbing his hair.  _Asshole._   At least the guy was consistent.  _And the 4x200m free relay was all just bullshit, huh?_   The thought stung, even though Rin wasn’t surprised.

Sugiyama left the team area, shrugging on his _sakura_ jacket over his black and red jammers.

Coach Fujino cleared his throat.  “Maekawa-san, would you find Kawamura-kun for me?”

“Sure, Coach.  I’m on it.”

 _Well, that’s an improvement, at least.  Maybe not to the clock, but certainly to team rapport._   Rin smiled ruefully, sharing a glance with Haru as they continued to dry off.

-x-

Sugiyama and Damien were in each other’s faces in the call room, verbally sparring with acidic whispers in one corner of the room that made it obvious the two had history.  Rumors of them almost coming to blows in Beijing didn’t seem farfetched at all.  _Whatever_.  Rin took a seat on the opposite side of the room, put his earbuds in, and cranked up the volume.

He’d missed two finals and one semi during warm down.  Otani had nabbed silver in the women’s 200m breaststroke; Rin couldn’t wait to see the pictures, imagining how much the doe-eyed girl must’ve freaked out.  The Mikoshiba brothers finished fifth and seventh in the 200m backstroke final and Konishi had taken sixth overall in the semi-finals for the women’s 200m backstroke, qualifying for Friday night’s final.

With his music blaring, Rin watched Koda come from behind to take silver in the 200IM.  From the final call room—it was a relief to leave Sugiyama and Damien behind—Rin silently pulled for Sada in the 100 free.  She came up with a personal best, but only a seventh place finish.  Sada didn’t get any camera time after the race, which was probably for the best, knowing how upset she’d be.

After Koda’s medal ceremony for the IM, it was finally time for the 100m fly.  Rin’s phone buzzed as he got up to join the line—

The text was from Haru.  _[Love you.]_

Rin smiled, heading to the back of the line by the left-hand door and leaning against the wall.  _[Love you too.  Watching?]_

_[Wouldn’t miss it.]_

Rin’s smile grew as he put his phone away.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the semi-finals for the men’s one hundred meter butterfly.”_

_“In lane eight…”_

-x-

…In the first semi-final, Rin put up 50.82—within a half-second of his personal best, just as Coach Fujino recommended.  He’d tied for first place with the swimmer from Singapore in lane five. 

From the Mixed Zone, Rin watched the storm clouds brewing between Sugiyama and Damien as they prepped behind the blocks.  Damien was being his usually dazzling self while Sugiyama was ice cold.  The two glared at each other—though Damien glared with a smile—as they took the blocks.

_“Mr. Matsuoka, anything you can tell us about the rivalry between Mr. Sugiyama and Mr. Andrews?”_

_Yeah, it’s none of my business._   Rin folded his arms.  _“No.  You’d need to talk to them.”_

As soon as the rivals hit the water, it was clear no one in the pool could touch them.  Sugiyama and Damien were sprinting from the moment their heads broke the surface, surging ahead of the competition.  They were neck-in-neck the whole time, with a whole second’s lead at the turn.  In the final twenty-five meters, Sugiyama had it briefly, but as they made the final push to the wall, it was Damien that touched first, Sugiyama less than a tenth after.

Even though it was only a semi-final, Damien celebrated by climbing onto the lane line and thrusting his fists into the air.  The look on Sugiyama’s face was cold-blooded murder, frozen over, as he hoisted himself out of the pool.

Rin made his escape, not about to be around when those two got to the Mixed Zone.

Haru was waiting for him at the end of the Zone and it was such a stark contrast to what he’d just seen in the pool.  Whether they were swimming together in a relay, competing to go one-two, or cheering each other on from the stands, wrapping his arms around the one he loved after a race was the best feeling in the world.

-x-

The bus dropped them off at the transportation mall, Rin carrying the soft-sided cooler of ice packs Kasai had prepared for them for tonight.  As they headed into the first floor of their tower, Rin tugged lightly on Haru’s hand.  “Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

Rin gestured towards the outdoor pool with a tilt of his head.  _Wanna talk?_

Haru followed his gaze, where the blue-white glow of the Village lights shimmered off the water’s surface.  He turned back with glistening eyes and a rare bit of emotion coloring his cheeks.  He nodded.

They changed into their square legs and slipped into an unoccupied corner of the pool, waving to other members of Team Japan from different sports as they settled in.  It was a little chilly to be hanging out in the water, even with a heated pool, but a warm shower later would do the trick.

Rin and Haru sat side-by-side on the ledge with the water up to their shoulders, looking out into the Village while the breeze sent ripples across the pool.  Rin curbed his natural inclination to start the conversation, sitting quietly instead with their arms brushing.  _You always wait until I’m ready._

After a couple minutes, Haru exhaled.  “I didn’t think the World Cup would be so soon.  After we got back, I mean.  I thought we’d be home for a little while.”

“I should’ve told you.  I didn’t realize you didn’t know.”

Haru glanced at him.  “It’s not your responsibility, Rin.  I didn’t…”  He looked away, lifting one hand and watching the water run from his palm.  “I didn’t think about things after Rio.  Just…swimming together and getting our own place and Sydney for Christmas.”  Haru fell silent, his lips pressed into a line.

Rin leaned back, propping his elbows on the edge of the pool behind them.  It was still overcast—no stars or moon to see tonight.  “Haru, it’s OK if you don’t want to go.”

Haru frowned.

“Or if you just wanna skip the first round.  Paris-Berlin-Moscow is only two weeks.  The second round doesn’t start until the end of September.”

“Nn…”

“We can do that part together, if you’re up for it.”

Haru drew his knees up and hugged them, seeming to shrink a little.  “I don’t want to get in the way.”

“Hm?”

“Of your dream.”

“Well, you’re not.”  Rin flicked his lover’s wet shoulder.  “I already decided I’m going, so—”

Haru looked at him in surprise.

“You should take your time and decide for yourself what you want to do.”

Rin watched his words sink in, Haru’s eyes widening at first, then starting to gleam with emotion.  His mouth tightened as if he were trying to fight it.

“You never force things,” Rin murmured.  “Why would you try to, now?”

Haru unfurled a bit.  He shrugged.

Rin pushed wet hair back from his face as he looked at the buildings across the way.  “It’s different when you choose something hard because you want to.  But I want you to be happy and I’m not happy if you’re not swimming free, so…  I don’t want my dream getting in the way of yours, either.”

“Rin…”  Haru gripped his arm, fingertips digging into his bicep.  Rin met the earnestness and turmoil in blue eyes.  “I want…”  Haru trailed off, his face shuttering.

 _You want both.  You want to swim with me and see the world…and you want your home time, your ofuro, your toast and grilled saba, and Makoto._ “I said think about it.  Don’t decide now.”

Haru’s grasp loosened.  He was quiet for a long moment.  “It’s really OK with you?  If I don’t go…”

“Well…”  Rin hooked an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “It’d be a drag with only the dolphin to keep me company in bed.  And I’d probably have to beat all of your short course records because I missed you…”  Rin smiled.  “But I already said.  I can swim my best knowing that you’re doing what you want to do.  There’s plenty of meets right in Tokyo, too—one stop of the World Cup and the Asian Swimming Championships for a whole week in November.  Our dream doesn’t have to be away from home all the time.”

“ _Rin…_ ”  Haru climbed onto his lap, hugging him so tightly it was hard to breathe.

Rin’s heart settled as he hugged Haru back.  _I need you to be happy.  That’s what I want, more than anything._

“I’ll…tell you when I make up my mind.”

“Take your time.  You’ve got until Tuesday.”

Haru’s eyes shimmered with affection.  “I love you.”

Rin melted inside.  “Haru…”

* * *

Friday, August 12th, 2016

* * *

Several lanes in the warm up pool were set aside for exchange practice on Friday.  Rin stood back from the blocks in his leg skins with a towel on his head as Captain Ikehara swam breaststroke to the wall with Kawamura up on the lane eight block.  Ikehara hit, Kawamura dove—  It got cleaner with each repetition.  Rin’s turn would be next.  He hadn’t done medley exchanges with Kawamura since—he could barely remember—training camp at the NTC?

Kawamura surfaced fifteen meters out, Captain Ikehara staying in the pool.

“Looking good,” Coach Fujino said.  “You guys ready to change it up, or do you want a couple more, Kawamura-kun?”

Kawamura swam back to the blocks and climbed out.  “A couple more, if that’s OK, Coach.  I don’t want to screw this up.”  The guy glanced at Rin.  “Sorry to make you wait, Matsuoka.”

Rin shook his head.  “Take your time.”

Kawamura smiled.  “Thanks.”

Rin’s attention drifted to the side as Kawamura and Ikehara reset themselves.  Haru was in their team area, sitting on one of the blankets in his warmups with an icepack held to his wrist.  He was with Ozawa, Konishi, and Takara, the four chatting about something—maybe karaoke plans.  Haru must’ve felt Rin’s gaze, though, because he looked up.  Their eyes met, Haru’s face softening with affection.  Rin couldn’t help smiling.

After Captain Ikehara and Kawamura were done, Rin traded his towel for a cap and goggles.  With Coach Fujino overseeing, he did a half-dozen exchanges with Kawamura swimming fly.  The guy’s form was solid and it didn’t look like his right shoulder was bothering him at all today.  Kawamura wasn’t the metronome or robot that Sugiyama was, but Rin felt good about the timing when they were done. 

Coach Fujino gave them a break, after, while he called the women’s team over.

“Sada-nee!”  Momo went bounding over to meet the group—Konishi, Otani, Ozawa, and Sada, all in their _sakura_ kneeskins.

Captain Ikehara was the first one back to the team area.  He checked his phone, then threw on his warmups, waving to their coaching staff as he made a beeline for the main stadium—off to spend every possible moment with his wife and daughter, now that they’d arrived.  Rin smiled. 

“Hey, Matsuoka…”

Rin slowed his steps, falling in beside Kawamura.

“Look, I, uh—”  The guy brushed a hand through his wet brown hair, his expression sheepish.  “I know from Yamazaki how much this means to you guys—the medley—”

Rin glanced at Haru, who was still sitting on the blanket with Takara.  “Ah.”

“I’m sorry things worked out this way.  I just want you to know that I’ll give it my all out there.  I won’t let you guys down.”

 _I know you won’t_.  Rin smiled.  It was rare to see the guy flustered about anything.  “All the spots on the roster were earned, Kawamura.  You got this.”  _And unlike that asshole Sugiyama, you actually want it._   “Did you get a chance to call home?”

“Yeah, last night.”  Kawamura’s eyes softened.  “My mom started crying right away.  The whole family’s getting up to watch.  My sister’s kids have been sending me pictures they drew…”  He got a little choked up and looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Eh, sorry, I’m gonna grab some water.  Be right back.”  The guy headed off towards the drink cases.

 _It’s gonna be a good race_.  The team was solid, no one was going to be phoning it in.  Rin still wished he and Haru were swimming it together, _but this is a kick-ass preliminary round team.  Anyone who wants to say otherwise can fight me_.

Rin was grinning—and _maybe_ strutting a little—as he got back to their team area and dropped down onto the blanket on his back, with his head in Haru’s lap.

Haru quirked a brow, leaning over him.  Blue eyes flicked over Rin’s face and Haru smiled.  “You’re looking forward to this.”

“My second-most-ultimate Olympic relay team, Haru.  We’re gonna kick ass out there.”

Haru’s eyes warmed.  “I can tell.”

Rin reached up, gesturing for Haru’s left hand.

Haru gave it, his wrist taped and cold to the touch, but not swollen.  Rin kissed Haru’s wrist and laced their fingers together.  “Na, Haru…”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking…”  Rin pressed his lips.  “I’m not giving up yet—I don’t want you to think that I am, but…  If I can’t beat Sugiyama tonight, I don’t want you to be upset.”

Haru inhaled slowly. 

“It’s one relay team, it’s one pool, one event… I’d still be swimming with you.  It’s just a little longer between my leg and yours.”

Haru’s breath hitched, his eyes going glossy.  “Rin…”

 _So it’s OK.  I’m OK._   Rin held his lover’s gaze.  _You don’t have to worry, whatever happens._

Haru exhaled in a puff and glommed onto him.  Warm fingers trailed through Rin’s damp hair and whispered over his cheek.  Their lips brushed together and Rin smiled, angling for another kiss as he slipped his hand up around the back of Haru’s neck.

A throat cleared beside them.  “You won’t kiss on the podium, but gobs of PDA poolside is fine,” Takara said.

“It’s part of my wrist therapy,” Haru said.

“ _Ugh_ , Wonder Twins…”  She had to be rolling her eyes as she got up.

Rin met Haru’s gaze and chuckled.

-x-

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the heats for the men’s four-by-one hundred medley relay.”_

Team Japan was in the second of two heats, just prior to four PM.  After one last huddle in the call room, Rin and his team walked out for lane three, between the United States and South Africa.  Momo was in full-on wiggle mode, waving wildly to the stands and the camera after he stripped down to his speedo.  Captain Ikehara took the chair, removing his shoes, while Kawamura and Rin stood behind. 

The clang of the cowbell didn’t bother Rin today; their teammates’ cheering was louder.  In the stands on the left, the Japanese swimmers and staff members were on their feet, waving flags and shouting their names.

“Rin!”  The look in Haru’s eyes was all warmth and eagerness.

Rin grinned.  _Watch this, Haru.  I’ll show you something that’ll knock your socks off_.

The four-pulse sounded. 

“Momotarou-kun!”

The kid danced his way to the edge of the pool and hopped in.

 _Just don’t get us DQ’ed, Momo_.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start, please.”_

Across the pool, all eight swimmers climbed up to the backstroke holds.

_“Take your marks.”_

The buzzer sounded and the race was _on_. 

Momo was all-out sprinting the moment he broke through the surface, his arms slapping the water in rapid half-circles.  The top seed American team was on their left; Momo edged ahead of their swimmer halfway across the pool and didn’t slow down.  He flipped over into the turn with a head-and-shoulders lead and raced back towards the start.  Captain Ikehara was up on the blocks—

Momo hit first, Ikehara diving in for Team Japan.  The Americans were a half second after and everyone else was even further behind.  As Ikehara charged down their lane for the breaststroke leg, Momo climbed out of the pool.

“Rin-senpai!” 

Rin got an armful of the wet kid. 

“I was great, wasn’t I?”  Momo beamed at him.

Rin rolled his eyes and chuckled.  “Yeah, Momo.”

In front of them, Kawamura had one foot on the block as he drew a deep breath.

“Kawamura.”

When the guy glanced back, Rin gave him a thumbs-up. 

Kawamura smiled.  He climbed up and set his feet.

In the pool, Ikehara hit the open turn and pushed off.  He surfaced first into his sprint, his upper body bobbing up and down with each stroke.  The rest of the pack fell even further behind as Team Japan’s captain sailed across the pool.

“Yoshino!!”  Ikehara’s wife and daughter were in the left-hand stands, one section over from their teammates.

Rin peeled Momo off of him, sitting down to remove his sneakers.  Ikehara neared the wall, Kawamura dove—

There was so much screaming, Rin was going to be deaf when this was over.  He stripped off his warmups and lowered his goggles over his eyes.  Kawamura’s butterfly sprint wasn’t as fast as their competitors’, but Team Japan had a commanding lead. 

Rin approached the block, glancing down the line out of the corner of his eye as the other anchors readied themselves.  _I’ll let you have a little hope now.  Too bad it won’t last_.  He stepped up and positioned his feet just so, grinning as he focused his gaze forward.

Kawamura turned it up for the final fifteen, stretching for the wall one stroke ahead of the USA.  Rin started his dive, his feet leaving the block just after the guy touched.  He thrust his arms forward in streamline.

 _“Rin!”_   Haru’s voice was the last thing he heard before he plunged underwater.  Rin dolphin-kicked hard, coming up to long pulls of free like Haru was in the lane next to him or waiting for him on the block…  He flipped into the turn with the rest of the anchors giving chase.  Rin ramped it up for the back-fifty.  With each breath, he saw the American anchor in the lane to his right, two strokes behind.  The lane markers flew by—twenty-five to go, fifteen to go, five—  Rin reached for the wall and hit tile.

The wave of water that crashed over his head reminded him of surf—of Málaga, Barcelona, Bondi Beach, and Iwatobi.  The vision was golden sand and sunrise, Haru smiling and taking his hand…  For a second, he almost tasted salt instead of chlorine.

Rin came back to the pool, voices slowly coalescing from the noise—  “Rin-senpai!!”  “Matsuoka!!”  Momo, Ikehara, and Kawamura were leaning over the block, reaching down.  Rin clasped their hands in turn, fighting to catch his breath.  They let go to allow him to recover, the three of them hugging behind the block—as much hugging as they could do with Momo jumping all over the place. 

Rin finally raked off his caps and goggles, turning for the board.  Team Japan had gone 3:31 and change, taking the heat and second place overall in the preliminary round.  Great Britain, in the first heat, had gone 3:30; the Americans, one lane over, were almost 3:32.  Even knowing most of their competitors would switch out before Saturday night’s final, Rin felt an overwhelming sense of pride.  And if this did end up being his only chance at the medley this Olympics…  _No regrets_.  Rin pumped a fist skyward, triumphant.  _We did it, you guys._

He exchanged handshakes with several other team’s anchors on his way to the side of the pool.  Climbing out of the water, Rin waved to a roaring crowd, and looked up.  Their teammates were standing, waving, shouting; amidst the sea of Japanese flags, he found Haru. 

Haru’s cheeks were _sakura_ pink.  With one hand, he gripped the railing that separated the stands from the pool deck below.  With the other, he had the zipper pull of his jacket, and if Rin were a pool, Haru would’ve been shedding his clothes in an instant and diving over the rail—

 _Don’t you dare, Haru._   Rin smirked at his lover, turning just as Momo barreled into him.  Ikehara and Kawamura joined them, Rin laughing as they all jabbed each other in the shoulders and embraced. 

The four of them hit the Mixed Zone together.  It was almost surreal.  The way the reporters flocked to them, it felt like a final, not just a prelim.  While Momo demonstrated his lack of English comprehension, Ikehara was every bit the proud team captain, and Kawamura was uncharacteristically choked up.  Rin savored the moment with his teammates, answering the questions that came his way.

_“Mr. Matsuoka, you really gave everything out there.  Can you talk about what was on your mind?  Your motivations going into this race?”_

Rin smiled.  _“It was for the team.  Everything I did out there—everything I wanted for us and the way I wanted to perform—it was all for these guys…and for the rest of the team who’ll be swimming the final tomorrow night.  They were all on my mind.”_

_“Can you comment on Mr. Nanase’s wrist?”_

_“You’ll need to ask the coaching staff about that,”_ Rin said.

_“We’ve seen incredible things from the two of you all week in your shared races and relays.  But today, even with Mr. Nanase not swimming with you…”_

_“Haru’s always in the water with me.”_   Rin propped a hand on his hip.  _“I can’t speak for him if the reverse is true, but—”_

 _“It’s true.”_ Haru’s voice came from behind him, on the right.

Rin whirled, meeting the emotion reddening Haru’s face and the unguarded affection in blue eyes.  He jumped down from the step by the barrier, crashing into the one he loved.

Haru caught him, holding him tight.  “Rin, that was…”  The words came out thick and rough.

Rin chuckled, his heart full to bursting as he drew back to see Haru’s face.  “Speechless, huh?”

Haru gave a jerky nod, his eyes shimmering.

Rin grinned, leaning in to the ocean he saw in Haru’s gaze.  _I just swam the best relay of my life so far.  You know it, too.  See, Haru?  You don’t have to worry.  Even if we have to be apart for a little while, we’re still swimming with each other._ He smoothed strands of black hair with his fingertips, Haru’s cheek warm against his palm.  As Haru’s face softened, his hands gripping Rin’s arms, Rin closed the gap between their mouths, tasting salt in the kiss.  _And no matter how many medals I win or records I break out there, coming home to you will always be better._


	36. Freezing, melting (and other things water does) // Rio Medley, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/36/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).

* * *

Friday, August 12th, 2016 (continued)

* * *

“Rin, _look!_ ” 

Rin rubbed the back of his neck as Haru picked up the box that had been left outside their apartment door.  _I can’t believe they actually did it._ The box was about 30-by-30cm and half as deep.  It was white with a picture on the front partially obscured by an attached note—

_JOC Extra.  Enjoy!  xoxo, Field Hockey Team._

The picture was of a woman sitting in an inflatable person-sized bath…with dolphins in the background.  _How is this actually a thing?_

Rin unlocked the door since Haru was too enamored with his present to look away.  “Where do you want to set it up?”

“Can we put it next to the—”

“It’s not going next to the bed, Haru.”  Rin opened their bedroom door, dropping his gear bag inside. 

Haru came in, clutching the box.  His gaze landed on the glass doors.  “Balcony?”

Rin shrugged.  “Sure.” 

It took a bit of doing—inflating the bath with the foot pump and a zillion trips to the sink to fill the tub with water—but their efforts were worth it when Haru slipped into the oblong, blue bath in his square legs and relaxed against the backrest. 

“I can almost stretch my legs out all the way.”  Haru was practically _glowing_ with delight. 

Rin sighed.  _Other people always give you the best presents._   “Here.”  He pulled a zippered flap from the box.  “There’s a cover.”  There was even a dolphin on it.

Haru’s eyes went wide, sparkling.

Rin chuckled, helping Haru zip the thing into place.  It went all the way to his chest, letting him sit up with the cover over his lower half.  _Your smug, I’m-in-water face is gonna be permanent now._

“I’ll have to do something nice for them,” Haru said, looking thoughtfully into the distance as a gentle breeze stirred his hair.  “Do you think they like _saba_?”

“Hopefully we can do better than that.”  Rin cleaned up the packaging to take inside.  He paused by the balcony door.  “Do you need anything else?”

“Hmm…”  Haru’s eyes flicked to him askance.  “You.”

Rin quirked a brow.  “That is definitely a single-person bath, Haru.”

“If I take the cover off, we’d both fit.”

“I’d have to be _in_ your lap.”

Haru’s gaze turned sly.  “That’s not a bad thing, Rin.”

Rin smiled, leaning down towards his lover’s lips.  “I’ll bring you a towel for later.”

“Nn.”  Haru pouted but accepted the kiss.

Once Haru was situated, Rin went back into their bedroom, trading his tech suit for a clean pair of underwear.  He climbed into bed after arranging the curtains; the sun was setting outside.  In a couple of hours, it would be dark and they’d need to be prepping for tonight’s events.  Rin wasn’t really tired enough to sleep—the adrenaline from the medley heats was still with him—but he needed to try.  He couldn’t afford to screw up tonight, especially with the 100m fly and the 50m free almost back-to-back.

Exhaling, Rin rolled over, shoving his face into his pillow as he chased sleep.

-x-

He woke with a start when a cold body slid under the covers with him.  “ _Haru_.”  It was too dark to see Haru’s face.  “You’re like ice.”

“I might’ve…stayed in…too long,” Haru said, his teeth chattering.

 _Idiot._   Rin wrapped his arms and legs around his shivering lover, fighting the urge to pull away as the chill raised gooseflesh on his skin.  At least Haru had dried off before getting into bed…

Haru squirmed, burrowing underneath him.

Rin rolled his eyes, stretching out on top.  Haru had _mostly_ dried off.  “You’re still wearing these?”  Rin plucked at the damp square legs Haru wore.  “You’ll get the sheets wet.”

“Nn.  I was too cold to take them off.”

“They’re coming off now,” Rin muttered, shifting onto his knees.  Haru cooperated, letting him shimmy the tight fabric down hips and legs and finally _off_.  Rin tossed the suit to the floor.  Doubling their blankets, he settled on top again, skin-to-skin except for his underwear as he willed warmth to return to Haru’s limbs.

 _I bet your lips are blue._   Rin kissed his lover gently on the mouth.  He couldn’t see color in the dark, but if the temperature of Haru’s lips were any indication...  “Too bad we can’t do this the fast way,” Rin murmured, falling against Haru’s mouth for another kiss, this one slightly longer.

“Tomorrow night we can,” Haru whispered, kissing him back.  He wasn’t shivering any more.

 _Tomorrow…_   Soon, they’d be able to measure the rule in hours instead of days.  Saturday night couldn’t come soon enough.  Rin slipped a hand into Haru’s hair, deepening the kiss.  _I want you so much._

Haru made a soft noise in his throat, which didn’t help Rin’s tenuous patience, especially as the chill beneath the covers faded.  As their mouths melded, Haru’s palms slid down Rin’s back, waking shivers that were mostly pleasure and only a little from the cold.  His hands stopped at the waistband of Rin’s briefs, just a few fingertips sneaking underneath the elastic and stilling there.

Rin broke the kiss with a grunt.  He’d adjusted enough to the dark to see the angle of Haru’s jaw, the tip of Haru’s nose, and the chagrin in blue eyes.

“I guess I’m warm enough,” Haru murmured.

“Nn.”  Rin tucked his face against Haru’s throat, his frustration coming out in a muffled growl.  “Three more races to go…” he muttered.  “…Maybe.”  Only two were guaranteed for him.  It all depended on the hundred meter fly tonight.  Rin sighed, the sound weighty.

“You’ll do it, Rin.  In the fly.”

Rin closed his eyes.  “Mn.”

-x-

Kasai looked pleased as she examined Haru’s wrist prior to warm ups.  “Looks good, Nanase-kun.  How’s your pain?”

Haru shrugged, sitting on the treatment table in his _sakura_ jacket and black pants.  “Zero?  Point-five at the most.”

“Excellent!  I’ll tape it for your warm ups, just to be safe.  It should be fine for your event tonight.”

“Thanks.”

Relieved, Rin let out the breath he’d been holding, though he was pretty sure nothing would stop Haru from getting in the pool.  Haru met his gaze, his eyes warm and eager as Kasai grabbed the roll of tape.

Rin coughed to cover the heat rising in his cheeks.  _It’s really hard not to fall in love with you all over again when you look like that._

Soon, they were stripping down to their tech suits and racing for the blocks—

-x-

Friday night’s events started with the women’s 200m backstroke final.  The men’s 100m butterfly final was right after, which had Rin in the call room before 10pm.  Sugiyama and Damien were ignoring each other, both of them with their game faces on, so the room was quiet.  Rin sat by himself with his music and texts from home.

 _[I heard from Kawamura,]_ Sousuke wrote, referencing Haru’s injury.  _[You hanging in there?]_

_[Yeah.]_

There was a slight pause.  _[For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen him so excited about something.  It really meant a lot to him, getting to swim the relay with you guys.  I know how he feels.]_   The animated ellipses appeared as Sousuke continued to write.  _[I know how you feel, too.  You got this, Rin.  Don’t worry.]_

Rin drew a deep breath and let it out before replying.  _[Thanks.]_

The medals in the women’s backstroke final went to the United States, Hungary, and Canada, with Konishi taking fifth place.  A few minutes later, the officials were lining up the men for the fly.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the competitors in the championship final for the men’s one hundred meter butterfly.”_

Rin adjusted his second cap, standing in line between the swimmer from South Africa who had lane two and Damien Andrews.  Sugiyama was at the back of the other line, behind the swimmer from Singapore. 

_“In lane eight, representing the United States…”  “In lane one, representing Hungary…”  “In lane seven, representing China…”  “In lane two, representing South Africa…”_

Rin stepped up to the doorway, waiting his turn with his goggles on his forehead.

_“In lane six, representing Singapore…”_

_“In lane three, representing Japan…  …Rin Matsuoka.”_

He walked out in front of the screen bearing his name, waving to a roaring crowd and his teammates.  Haru was in the stands even though he was supposed to be in the warm up pool.  They were due at the 50m call room as soon as this race was over.

Rin headed to the lane three block, positioning the wedge before sitting down to remove his shoes.

_“In lane five, representing Japan…  …Noboru Sugiyama.”_

The cheering was even louder as the Japanese legend walked out.  Sugiyama didn’t wave.  He adjusted the lane five block and started undressing.

There was the slightest lull, as if the crowd was collectively holding its breath before the American Olympic darling appeared—

_“In lane four, representing the United States…  …Damien Andrews.”_

Noise poured down from the stands.  There were so many cowbells ringing, it sounded like they were imbedded in Rin’s skull.  Damien walked out in his parka, his smile lighting up the arena as he waved to his fans and admirers.  Someone started the _USA-USA_ chanting, which went on for an annoyingly long time during the prep.  It was so loud, Rin barely heard the four-pulse.

Pressing his goggles into place, he stepped up to the block in line with his competitors.  Damien was on Rin’s left, Sugiyama one lane further down.  It wasn’t ideal, but at least he’d have a good idea of where Sugiyama was if he kept up with Damien.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start please.”_

The cheering faded to a dull roar.  The long-whistle sounded; Rin mounted the block, bracing his back foot against the wedge.  He wiped his palms on his leg skins before gripping the front of the start block.

The noise ceased for one miraculous moment—

_“Take your marks.”_

Rin tensed, his whole body focused on the water in his lane, his entry point—

The buzzer went off; Rin sprung forward, stretching himself into a tight streamline and slicing into the water.  He dolphin-kicked in the cool, silent world beneath the surface, coming up to stroke at fifteen meters—

Holy _shit_ , Damien was going out hot.  Rin ramped up into an early sprint to keep up.  He knew he was good for it—he knew what his best time felt like, but he also knew that 50.59 wasn’t going to be enough.  Not against these two. 

It was a battle for the full length of the pool just to stay one stroke behind.  Rin touched for the open turn, digging in to push off.  He got one look underwater—Sugiyama was right up with Damien—the rivals shooting towards the surface. 

 _Fuck_.  Rin propelled himself forward with strong dolphin-kicks, breaking through to a brutal pace.  He caught up by the halfway mark, his head even with Damien’s shoulders.  Rin turned it up further, slowly closing the gap between them…

They hit the final fifteen meters, Damien surging ahead for the wall.  Rin pulled out everything he had left, breathing with each rapid stroke, his whole body on fire as he raced for the finish and slammed his hands against tile.

A wave of water crashed over his head, a sound like thunder boxing his ears as he drew labored breaths.  It was so loud, Rin couldn’t hear a thing as he turned to his right, one hand gripping the edge of the pool…

What he expected to see was Damien Andrews blinding the crowd with his smile and climbing onto the lane line to celebrate his victory.  Worst case, Sugiyama would’ve been doing it.  …But the longtime rivals both looked perplexed as they split their attention between the board and the swimmer from Singapore in lane six who had a fist thrust high in victory.

 _I wasn’t even paying attention to that guy_.  Damien recovered faster than Sugiyama did, slipping through lane five to congratulate the winner.  Sugiyama held onto the wall as he pulled off his cap and goggles, his expression astonishment mixed with annoyance.  That changed as Rin caught his eye, Sugiyama’s face smoothing.  The guy smirked—and it wasn’t a particularly kind smirk—before turning away.

Rin finally glanced at the board.  The swimmer from Singapore had taken gold at 50.36.  Sugiyama and Damien had tied for silver at 50.39.  Rin’s new personal best time was 50.42—three one-hundredths shy of beating his rival.  He stared at the numbers for a long second, bewildered.  He’d been so focused on beating Sugiyama, so sure that one of the three of them—between him, Sugiyama, and Damien—would’ve nabbed gold…  _Instead—_  

Rin swam to the side of the pool, climbing out from lane zero.  _I didn’t even make the podium_.  Reality sank in as he clutched his caps and goggles in one hand, waving absently to the crowds calling his name as he walked behind the blocks and headed for the ID checkpoint.  Three one-hundredths of a second separated him from a medal…and a spot in the medley final.  Rin didn’t give a shit about the medal, _but why am I always missing by just that much?_   Well, ‘always’ was being a bit dramatic, to be fair…but that’s what it felt like.  He’d carried a threadlike hope, tucked deep in his heart, going into this race—it was broken now, snapped and limp…just in time for the Mixed Zone and the fifty free.  _Fuck_.

Coach Maekawa was waiting for him as soon as he entered the corridor.  She buffered him from the media, not allowing questions.  “Need anything?” she asked as he gathered his things from the bin.  “Otherwise, I’m taking you straight to the call room after you rinse off.”

Rin shook his head.  “No.  Thanks.”

Her face was smooth as she studied him.  But she said nothing, for which Rin was grateful. 

He made it brief in the locker room; after showering, he dried off and got dressed.  His phone buzzed as he was donning his jacket.

The text was from Nitori.  _[Rin-senpai, that was incredible!  A new personal best!!]_

Rin turned the phone off.  He knew the kid was trying to make him feel better, to give him perspective, but he just couldn’t take it right now.

Haru was with Coach Maekawa when Rin came out of the locker room.  _I knew you’d be here, even if we didn’t have a race to swim._   It was game time—this was the moment to prove that all the things he’d said to Haru last night and this morning about the medley heats were true.  –That he was above all of these petty, childish feelings about not getting his way for the final, but the disappointment still stung and he couldn’t just turn it off, even though he wanted to. 

Haru’s expression was stoic and indecipherable.  He was reading everything on Rin’s face, as usual, though he didn’t say a word.

Maekawa sighed.  “Let’s go.”  She escorted them to the opposite side of the pool, past the ceremony waiting room where the backstroke medalists were gathering, to the 50m call room.

The women’s 800m free was underway as they checked in; Takara was in lane one.

“Yell if you need anything,” Maekawa said, staying in the atrium with the officials and staff members from other teams.

Rin followed Haru into the call room.  Ethan was already there, chatting with the top seed from France.  He waved as they came in.  Haru waved back.

“You can go if you want,” Rin said, shoving his hands into his pockets and dropping into a chair in the back row.  He pulled on his first cap, arranging his goggles over top.

“I’ll stay with you,” Haru said, taking the seat beside him.  He already had his caps on, his goggles perched on his forehead.

Rin looked away as he prepped his second cap.  “I don’t want to talk about the fly.”

“I wasn’t going to bring that up.”

“Then we’re just going to sit here, huh?”  He saw Haru shrug from the corner of his eye.

“It’s not good for you to be alone right now.”

 _The fuck it’s not, Haru._ “I’d _rather_ be alone.”

“So you can beat yourself up for swimming your hardest?” 

“ _Damnit_ , that’s not what I’m doing.”  _(It kind of is, Matsuoka.)_   “Haru—”  Rin twisted in his chair to glare at his lover, but as soon as their gazes met—as soon as he saw the affection and concern on Haru’s face—his anger fizzled like smoke.  “Fuck,” he whispered, his eyes starting to burn.  “Like I want to be fighting before our last race together.”

Haru frowned.  “You don’t know that, Rin.”

Rin swallowed hard, crumpling his second cap in his hand.  “There’s no way they’d put me in over the silver medalist.”  _You heard how loud the fans cheered for him tonight._

Haru said nothing at first, his mouth tight.  “With that logic, they should put you in for anchor.  You won gold in the free.”

_By one one-hundredth of a second…_

“All I have to do is say that my wrist still hurts.”

Cold flooded Rin, worse than his own disappointment.  “Don’t you dare.”  The idea that he’d have to swim the medley twice without Haru—without Haru even on the roster—was unbearable.  Rin gripped Haru’s sleeve.  “One team, Haru.  I told you.  Don’t make me do this alone.”

For a long moment, Haru studied him.

 _I’m dead serious.  I’d rather this be my last race, than have us_ not _share the medley at all._

Haru drew a breath.  “…OK.”

Rin chewed his lower lip, trying to discern if Haru was actually relenting or not…  “OK?”

Haru nodded.  “Yeah.  But I’m going to swim the way I want to in the fifty.”

Rin couldn’t argue.  “Me too,” he said, heaving a sigh.  He doubted he could go breathless right now if his life depended on it.

Takara took seventh place in the 800m free final, her race followed by the medal ceremony for the women’s 200m backstroke.

It was 10:40pm when Rin and Haru lined up with the other swimmers. 

“Front of the line,” Rin muttered.  They had the outside lanes.

“Mn.”  There was warmth in Haru’s voice.  “It’s a first for us.”

Rin exhaled.  _I want to be annoyed with you, but I just can’t when you’re so happy anytime we get to race together._   He turned, reaching for Haru’s hand.  “Gimme.”

Haru smiled with his eyes, pink glowing in his cheeks as Rin smoothed his fingers over the limb, kissing skin reddened from the tape Haru had worn earlier.

“I should’ve done this yesterday.”  Rin laced their fingers together.  _The one time I forgot…_

“It’s not magic, Rin.  But I like when you do it.”

 _Haru_.  Rin’s face heated at the naked affection in Haru’s gaze.

A throat cleared lightly beside them, Ethan McInnes stopping by on his way to get in line for lane two.  _“Best of luck out there, guys.”_   They both shook hands with the Australian team captain.  _“How’s the wrist, Haruka?”_

Haru shrugged.   _“Not quite a hundred percent.”_

 _“That’s a shame, mate.”_   Ethan looked truly disappointed.

_“I’m going to swim free.  You should too.”_

Confusion creased Ethan’s brow.  _“Well, I sure hope so.”_

 _“He means…metaphorically,”_ Rin said.

“ _Right_.”  Ethan chuckled.  _“See you out there.”_   He left with a wave.

Rin drew an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “You’re so weird sometimes.”

Haru cocked a brow.  “You’re weirder for loving me.”

“Truth.”  Rin smiled.

 _“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the championship final of the men’s fifty meter freestyle_.”

Rin reluctantly pulled away, stepping up to the doorway.

_“In lane eight, representing Japan…  …Rin Matsuoka.”_

He headed out, waving to the crowds and crossing behind all of the blocks until he got to lane eight.

_“In lane one, representing Japan…  …Haruka Nanase.”_

They caught eyes once as they stripped off their warmups, before other swimmers got between them.  Rin’s heart settled as they looked at each other, the anguish from before fading.  He knew he’d be OK.

Once all eight swimmers had finished their prep, the four-pulse sounded.  Rin secured his goggles, breathing deliberately as he approached the block.  He stepped up at the shrill whistle, setting his feet as the water shimmered in the lane in front of him, the same color as Haru’s eyes.

“ _Take your marks_.”

At the start, Rin dove into lane eight.  He dolphin-kicked hard and came up to rapid pulls of free, sprinting across the pool with one breath taken just past halfway.  Seconds later, there was tile beneath his palm and he was raking air into his lungs.

Rin turned for the board as he removed his caps and goggles, knowing he’d been one of the last to finish—if not _the_ last.

Ethan—in lane two next to Haru—had won his first Olympic gold at 21.38.  A swimmer from the USA had taken silver, while the reigning gold medalist from France took bronze.  Rin’s seventh place time was 21.75; Haru had taken eighth at 21.88.  ‘Dead last’ was one way for them to look at it; seventh and eighth in the world was another.  Neither mattered to Rin right now.

He swam through lane nine and climbed out, waving briefly to their teammates while the cameras focused in on Ethan.

 _“Dad!!”_   That had to be Ethan’s kids.

Rin smiled, happy for the Australian captain.  He waited behind the blocks for Haru.

After grasping Ethan’s hand, Haru got out from the other side of the pool, heading over and shaking his head to clear the water from his face and hair.

Their gazes met, Rin questioning his lover with a tilt of his head.

Haru smiled with his eyes, raising his right hand and wiggling his fingers.

Rin exhaled with relief.  He reached out—

Haru took his hand. 

 _We can win together and we can lose together too._   Rin smiled with the same warmth that was on Haru’s face.  They headed for their ID checks, letting Ethan have his moment.

As the first two in the Mixed Zone, Rin and Haru had the full attention of the press—

_“Mr. Matsuoka, you were quite a bit off your National Record time tonight in the fifty free.  What’s going on?  Did you give everything in the fly?”_

_Nosy reporters_.  Rin affected a polite smile, still holding Haru’s hand.  _“It’s true I went out really hard in the fly.  I gave everything I had tonight.  I wish it would’ve been enough, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.”_

_“Mr. Nanase, is your wrist still bothering you?  Is that the reason for your performance tonight?”_

Haru shook his head.  _“My wrist is fine.  I swam the way I wanted to.  That’s all.”_

_“Are you saving your wrist for the medley tomorrow night?”_

_“Our coaches decide the roster.”_   Haru glanced aside at Rin, the look clearly, _I’m done with this_.

Rin smiled.  _Me too._

 _“Thanks.”_   They left the barrier, despite the reporters calling their names. 

Beside the warm up pool, Haru sat for another wrist exam and more tape as a precaution.  They missed the medal ceremony for the men’s 100m fly during warm down (not that Rin minded) along with the awards for the women’s 800m free.  But they were in the stands in time to watch Ethan get his gold medal and listen to the Australian anthem.

The guy looked so happy.  Rin saw real tears when Ethan climbed into the stands during his victory lap, hugging his wife and daughters.   

“I’m glad he won,” Haru whispered.

“Same.”

The evening finished with the semi-finals for the women’s fifty free.  Sada had lane two in the second heat and qualified in sixth place overall for the final on Saturday.

Coach Fujino gathered everyone in the team area at the end of the night, though Sugiyama was absent as usual.  “Excellent work tonight, Olympians.  You should all be proud of everything you’ve done here in Rio.  We just have a little more to go.  Our last clinic will be tomorrow at five PM, on the first floor of our building in the Village.  That’s when I’ll announce the final roster for the medley relay.  Meaning… alternates don’t get to be slacking off.  Not yet.”  Fujino smiled.  “Well done, everyone.  Get some rest tonight.”

“One more night until karaoke, ladies,” Ozawa said, throwing her arms around Konishi and Takara’s shoulders.

“Ugh, I could really use a drink,” Takara muttered.

“Me too,” Konishi said.

The trio headed off in their red _sakura_ jackets, clutching gear bags and towels.

“Sada-nee, can I have a piggyback ride?”

Sada sighed.  “Squeaker, I just swam a hard fifty.  Shouldn’t you be offering me a ride, instead?”

Momo blinked, looking puzzled.  “I could try to lift you…”

“Hey!”

 _Wrong answer, Momo_.

Sada tackled the kid down to the mats with an epic noogie.  Momo squirmed, but the way he flushed and grinned, he was clearly enjoying the whole thing.

Mikoshiba stood nearby, scratching his head.  “Momotarou…”  He frowned with disapproval.

Haru slipped the strap of his gear bag over his head.  “Wanna go, Rin?”

Rin smiled.  “Yeah.”

They were almost to the bus when Haru’s phone trilled.

Haru glanced down at the caller, his eyes lighting with surprise.  He answered quickly.  “Tsuchiya-san?”

 _Uh-oh_.  Rin massaged the back of his neck.  _Are we about to get it for our performance tonight?_

“Noon tomorrow?  OK.”  Haru paused.  “That’s…  Oh, across from the Welcome Centre.  Hai.  Hai.  Thank you.”  Haru ended the call, returning the phone to his pocket.

“Well?  Are we in trouble?”

“Huh?”  Haru shook his head.  “I don’t think so.  She wants to meet tomorrow.  And she said not to make any plans for Sunday, for the other half of our photo shoot.”

Rin grimaced faintly, remembering threats of waxing and bronzer…  “For the speedos and stuff, huh?”

“It’s not until Sunday.”  Haru’s gaze turned sly.  “I can help you shave, Rin.”

Rin rolled his lips between his teeth, recalling the way Haru looked in that skimpy suit…  _No rule on Sunday._ “Yeah, that works.”

Haru smiled, mirth and desire glittering in his eyes.

* * *

Saturday, August 13th, 2016

* * *

Their first stop Saturday morning was the JOC therapy room on the first floor of their tower. 

“ _Bom dia_ , Nanase-kun!”  Kasai waved them into the room from the hallway, the tiny space crammed with treatment tables, kits, and portable equipment.  “How’s your pain today?”

Haru hopped up onto the table, pushing the sleeve of his _sakura_ jacket up to his elbow.  “Zero.  I still iced it this morning, but I haven’t felt anything since yesterday.”

 _“Ótimo!”_   Kasai did a thorough exam over the next few minutes.  “Everything still feels good,” she said, smiling with her pronouncement.  “I’ll let Coach Fujino know.”

“Thanks.”  Haru slid off the table.

“How about you, Matsuoka-kun?  Anything that needs attention?”

“Ah.”  Rin shook his head.  “Nope.  Thanks.”

_“Em português por favor!”_

“ _Obrigado_ , Kasai-san,” they said in chorus, escaping before she could rope them into an impromptu lesson.

After eating breakfast at the dining hall, Rin and Haru took advantage of a partly-sunny day to skip the bus and walk to the east end of the Village.  They left via the pedestrian security checkpoint, crossing the _Av. Olof Palme_ and heading northeast to the Grand Mercure Riocentro Hotel.

The L-shaped building had a glass lobby with soaring ceilings, blue and gray seating, and an elegant bar off to the left.  Even though the décor was totally different from the hotel in Málaga, Rin couldn’t help being reminded of that night, after the photoshoot.  Just thinking about the way Haru looked against white sheets by moonlight…  _Yeah, don’t go there, Matsuoka._ Rin raked a hand through his hair, banishing the thought.  They had at least twelve hours left…  _More if you medal in the relay and have to do the press conference after_.  Rin glanced sidelong at his lover.  _Better sleep during our nap, Haru.  We’re gonna be up late tonight._

Haru met his gaze askance.  He read Rin’s face with a flicker of blue eyes, firing back with a sultry look that warmed Rin down to his toes.

_This is going to be the longest twelve hours of my life—definitely worse than Barcelona._

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”

They turned at the sound of Tsuchiya’s voice.  She joined them from one of the seating areas, coming over in a crisp black suit with a blue shell beneath her jacket.  Her hair was its usual immaculate twist, held in place by a stylus.  She carried a leather portfolio with her Blackberry.  “Thanks for agreeing to meet on such short notice.”

“Our pleasure,” Rin said, bowing and shaking her hand in turn.  _We’re happily at your mercy, after all you did for us in Spain._

“Hai,” Haru said, bowing his head.

Tsuchiya smiled as if she knew what they were thinking and had no need to correct them.  “This way.”

She led them up a flight of stairs on the right-hand side of the room, the two-story wall a tile mosaic in blue and white.  The second floor overlooked the lobby below beyond a half-wall of glass.  They rounded the corner, sunlight streaming in through floor-to-ceiling windows on the south side of the building.  Halfway down the hall, Tsuchiya opened a door to a small conference room.  “Please, have a seat.”

Haru went in first, scanning all of the chairs around the table before he picked one. 

Rin rolled his eyes and took the chair next to Haru.

Tsuchiya closed the door, approaching with the portfolio.  “I’ll cut straight to the chase, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”

 _Like usual_.  Rin smiled to himself.

“My company is interested in making our arrangement official.”  She sat down and took out two glossy black folders.  “We’d like to sign both of you to represent us for the next four years, with the option to renew after Tokyo 2020.”

Rin sucked in a breath as she placed the folders on the table and opened them. 

“Identical contracts, identical amounts,” she said, using the tip of a pen to indicate several items on the page.  “In exchange for interviews, photoshoots, commercials, and live appearances, we will make sure you are well taken care of.”

Rin stared at the number without blinking.  He had to count the zeroes three times to believe it was real.  The coaching program at Koutei just became a non-issue, along with basic living expenses.  He’d be able to pay his own way, taking the burden off his mom.  _Holy shit._   Rin swallowed hard, his eyes suddenly stinging.

Haru took his hand beneath the table.  Rin inhaled slowly to keep himself together, meeting his lover’s gaze.  Despite looking equally shocked, Haru wore a smile that was more than just warmth and happiness.  _You know what this means to me._   Rin squeezed Haru’s hand. 

Haru’s eyes softened with pleasure.  He turned back to their sponsor.  “More stuff like Málaga?”

“Precisely.”  Tsuchiya nodded.  “The specifics are called out in the documentation.  You’ll need to review all of this carefully and we can meet again at your convenience to discuss any terms or changes you’d like to request.”  She glanced at Rin.  “In your case, Matsuoka-kun, you will need parental permission to accept.”

 _I hate not being twenty yet._   He couldn’t imagine his mom having issues with it, though.

“Nanase-kun, that requirement doesn’t apply to you, however I do recommend going over the details with your parents prior to informing me of your decision.  Additionally, you have the option of going through an intermediary—a sports agent—if you wish.  I suggest you speak with some of your veteran team members or other counsel before deciding.  You’ll particularly want to pay attention to the language describing breaches of contract, as well as termination criteria.”

Rin exhaled.  “It’s not based on our times, is it?  Like last night…”

Tsuchiya looked at him coolly.  “What was that, Gold medalist Matsuoka?”

“Uh…”

“There are reasonable performance assurances included, similar to documents you signed when you accepted your invitations to the National Team.  As long as you’re not doping or engaging in other substance abuse or considerably shirking your responsibilities, you don’t have to worry.  There are provisions for injuries as well.”  Tsuchiya smiled.  “Though, I do hope you both put additional focus on the fifty free going forward.  In time for the Asian Championships in November, for example.”

“Ahh.”  Rin dipped his head in a bow.

Haru did likewise.  “Hai.” 

“Excellent.  Response instructions are in the documentation as well.  You have two weeks to respond, but advise me prior to the deadline if you need an extension.  I know things will be busy for both of you once you return to Japan.”  She sat back, returning her pen to the leather portfolio.  “Any questions for now?”

“No, thank you,” Rin said.

“For Sunday…?” Haru asked.

“Instructions will be in your email.  Look for a message from Director Kaya.  Just show up at the meeting location.  She and Haseda-san will take care of you.”

 _I hope there’s no karaoke involved..._   Rin’s gaze fell to the number on the page in front of him again.  _Never mind.  I’ll sing whole albums in whatever language you want._

“If there’s nothing else…”  Tsuchiya paused.  “Then we’re done.”  She got up, offering her hand across the table.  “I’m sure we’ll be able to come up with suitable agreements for both of you.  I look forward to hearing from you.”

“Thank you, Tsuchiya-san.”  Haru shook her hand first, bowing low after he let go.

Rin followed suit, grasping her hand firmly.  “Thank you very much, Tsuchiya-san.”  _You have no idea what this means to me and my family_. 

“You’re both very welcome.  You’ve earned this and I wouldn’t be surprised—after this week—if other offers come your way.  But this offer is the best; you’ll be able to see that for yourselves.”

 _I don’t doubt that at all_.  Rin smiled, imagining how Tsuchiya would _dismantle_ anyone who tried to steal them away.

She saw them out through the lobby, Haru and Rin carrying their identical folders of paperwork.

Rin blinked against bright sunlight as they headed outside.  He threw an arm around Haru’s shoulders.  “Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming.”

“OK.”  Haru reached behind him.

“ _Oi!_ ”  Rin glared at his lover.

“What?”  Haru looked at him innocently.  “It’s very pinchable, Rin.”

Rin exhaled through his nose.  “Haru, that really just happened.  I can’t believe it.”  He met Haru’s gaze, hesitating.  “Is it OK?”

Haru smiled.  “I don’t have to think about this one.  If we get to do more days like Málaga…”

 _Nights, is what you really mean._   “I’m not sure it’ll always involve a fancy hotel.  …And it might mean traveling.”

Haru shrugged, reaching for Rin’s hand and weaving their fingers together.  “I’ll read the fine print.”  His face clouded.  “I’m still thinking about Paris.  But I want to go more places with you.  I do, I just…”

“No rush.”  Rin kissed his cheek.  “It’s not Tuesday yet.”

Haru’s eyes softened, ocean-blue and shimmering.  “Rin…”

Rin’s gaze fell to Haru’s lips… _but we’re not in the Village_.  He sighed.  “Come on.  Let’s head back.”

-x-

They were almost to their tower when Rin’s phone rang.  He paused on the edge of the paved walkway, pulling out his phone and snagging Haru’s arm at the elbow.  There was a water feature just to their right that immediately had Haru’s attention.

Rin stared at the screen without blinking, nerves waking in his stomach.  He answered the call, clearing his throat.  “Coach Fujino?”

Haru stopped pulling, turning to look at him.

_“Matsuoka-kun, would you happen to be near the JASF offices?”_

“Hai.  We’re right outside.”

_“If you could join me for a few minutes.  Just you, Matsuoka-kun.”_

-x-

Rin drew a deep breath before knocking on the conference room door.  The last time he and Haru met with Coach Fujino here, they’d received their invitations to the World Cup.  This time, however…he had a hunch it wasn’t going to be the same kind of good news.

“Come in.”  Coach Fujino’s voice came from inside the room.

Rin opened the door…and his mouth went dry when he saw Coach Fujino accompanied by JOC Executive Board member Saeki and the JASF Director.  The three were sitting on one side of the conference table, across from two empty chairs.  The JOC and JASF officials both wore formal suits, flanking Coach Fujino who was wearing his usual _sakura_ jacket and warmup pants.

“Please have a seat, Matsuoka-kun,” Coach Fujino said, waving him to the empty chairs.  “I apologize for the interruption, but this won’t take long, as soon as the other party arrives.”

“Hai.”  Rin took the chair on the left, wracking his brain.  _What the fuck did I do?_   It couldn’t be about his performance in the fifty free last night, he _knew_ he was clean from a doping perspective, and surely _borrowing_ an inflatable bath from JOC supplies wouldn’t warrant this level of tribunal.  Right…?

The ninety seconds that passed while he waited were the longest of his life—even worse than when Haru’s plane was delayed arriving in Málaga.  He almost jumped when the knock sounded at the door.

“Come in,” Fujino said.

The door opened, Sugiyama entering the room. 

 _This is about the medley_.  Rin’s dread faded, though he didn’t allow himself to hope just yet; that tiny thread still lay coiled and broken in his heart.

“Thank you for joining us, Sugiyama-kun.  Please have a seat.”

Sugiyama was cool as usual as he took the chair next to Rin, barely acknowledging Rin’s presence. 

Coach Fujino leaned forward, folding his hands atop a closed notebook.  “Sugiyama-kun, Matsuoka-kun, we—” he was obviously including the JASF and JOC there “—find ourselves in an interesting quandary deciding the roster for tonight’s relay final, given that Nanase-kun is able to swim anchor.”

 _Holy shit_.  Rin’s hope surged to life, reattached and crackling with electricity like a live wire.

“On a strict time basis, Sugiyama-kun has the faster individual times in the fly, along with the National Record.  However, the relay splits have always gone to Matsuoka-kun.”

 _They have?_ Rin didn’t know Sugiyama’s relay split times; even then, it’d been rare for Rin to swim the fly leg in practice.

“But relays are about more than swimming fast, as both of you know.”  Coach Fujino faced Sugiyama.  “Sugiyama-kun, your attitude Thursday night after your teammate was injured was disappointing.”

Sugiyama inhaled.  “Coach—”

Fujino held up a hand, stopping him.  “It was well within your right to ask us to make a substitution.  But your lack of regard for the team’s well-being in the face of your own agenda was noteworthy.  And this is not the first time we’ve had this conversation.”

Sugiyama’s mouth tightened.  He remained silent, stewing.

“Matsuoka-kun.”  Fujino shifted his gaze to Rin.  “You joined the National Team with some very specific and personal goals related to the medley relay—which, while not a problem in and of themselves—led you to be distracted and disinterested whenever things didn’t go your way.”

 _You noticed_.  Rin’s cheeks heated with shame.  It was all true; wishing it wasn’t didn’t change anything.

“However, I’ve seen growth in you over these last four months, in your dedication to this team and your teammates, and in your willingness to put the team first, even when it meant personal disappointment.  I wouldn’t say you’ve perfected this—”

 _Yeah, no shit_. 

“—but you’re not in the same place you were at the beginning, either.”

 _Coach_.  Rin gripped the bracelet on his wrist under the table, just to have something to hold onto.  _What are you saying?_

Coach Fujino sat back, regarding both of them.  “We’re not here to inform you of our decision.  We,” he lifted a hand, indicating the JASF and JOC officials, “are still deliberating.  The purpose of this meeting is to allow each of you to make any statement you wish regarding why you should be selected for the final.  Remember, we’re not _only_ putting athletes out there and hoping for a chance at the podium.  The medley team we send tonight represents Japan—and Tokyo 2020—in front of the world.”

Rin’s head spun as he recalled snatches of things Saeki had said in their clinics—  _You are here because you embody the Olympic spirit.  One cannot truly be a champion without conducting one’s self honorably.  The world will remember you first as the face of the thirty-second Olympiad, while your individual achievements are secondary._

His shoulders fell.  _Shit.  I mean, I know I’m not the asshole I used to be…_   But to _embody_ those things, one hundred percent of the time?  _Hell no, I don’t come close._

“Sugiyama-kun, you may go first.”

Sugiyama’s jaw flexed momentarily.  “It’s true I’ve been…focused on my rivalry with the American captain.  With his impending retirement, yesterday’s race was my last chance to beat him.  …But it didn’t work out.”  He inhaled before continuing, the light glinting off his close-cropped black hair.  “Do what you want, Coach.  You’re right.  I’ve neglected the team and I haven’t abided your counsel or that of the assistant coaches.”  Sugiyama paused, his expression cooling.  “It’s…been a long time since Athens.”

The guy was way too proud to beg for anything, but he seemed sincere. 

“Thank you, Sugiyama-kun.”  Coach Fujino’s attention turned to Rin.  “Matsuoka-kun?”

 _What am I supposed to say?  You should give me the relay final because I’m less of an asshole?_   Rin pressed his lips, glancing at his rival, his childhood hero and idol…  _I want to swim with Haru._   That motive was no less personal than Sugiyama’s…and not much different than high school.

 _It wasn’t that long ago that Mikoshiba kicked me off the relay team for being selfish._   He’d never forget that night, in the hotel hallway—

_You’re not even looking at your team._

He hadn’t deserved what Haru, Makoto, Nagisa, and especially Rei, did for him after that.  _I thought I truly understood the value of the team.  But I’ve been whining about the medley relay for months.  Some part of me is still that twelve-year-old kid, desperate to swim with Haru, huh?_

But Rin was already on the roster with Haru, because of the heats.  Tonight’s win or loss was _his_ win or loss, too.  _How am I in any position to ask for more?_   He thought of all the cheering he’d heard last night for Sugiyama, the Japanese Olympic legend.  _During Athens, I was cheering just like them…with my dad._ Rin drew a deep breath, facing the head of the Japanese swim team.  “Coach, the prelim I swam yesterday was the best relay of my life.  I’d give anything to swim the final with Haru.  …But I think it should go to Sugiyama-senpai.”

“Like I want any charity from you, Matsuoka.”  Sugiyama pinned him with a glare, his eyes flashing with cold fire. 

“You’re not getting any.”  Rin glared back.  “But I’ve watched you swim the medley since I was a kid.  It’d be weird if you were here but didn’t swim this one.  And I trust you not to mess it up.”

The guy scoffed, his eyes flicked skyward.  “Not like Rome, you mean.”

“Who said anything about Rome?”  _Like I’d bring that up._

Sugiyama drew a slow breath through his nose—

“—I suggest the two of you stop there,” Coach Fujino said, wincing slightly.

 _Fuck_.  Rin bowed his head, his face hot.  “ _Sumimasen_.”

Saeki cleared her throat.  “This went about as well as expected.  How do you handle having two spitfires on the team, Fujino-san?”

Fujino’s smile was strained.  “Not as well as I’d like, obviously.”

 _Way to go, Matsuoka.  Airing your dirty laundry in front of the JOC and JASF…_   Crawling under the table and dying seemed like a great idea.

“Saeki-san, Director…any further questions for these two?”

The JASF Director shook his head.  “I think we have enough for our deliberations.”

“Agreed,” Saeki said.

“Very well.  Sugiyama-kun, Matsuoka-kun, you’re dismissed.”

After a deep bow, Rin followed Sugiyama from the room.

They were near the end of the hallway by a set of locked and darkened offices, when Sugiyama stopped. 

“Matsuoka, what the f—”  Sugiyama cut himself off, his jaw tight as he glanced away.  “Forget it.  Look, you’re better off finding someone else to be your hero.”

“I know.”  Rin gave a cool shrug.  “What can I say?  I was an impressionable kid.  Athens was a big deal to me.”

Sugiyama was silent for a beat.  “It was to me, too.”  His sigh was grating.  “If they offer it to you tonight, take it.  None of this bullshit in front of the rest of the team.  Or I’ll make you regret it.”

 _Not sure how you think you could do that, but whatever_.  “Fair,” Rin said.

Sugiyama, with apparent reluctance, held out his hand.

Rin shook on it.

-x-

“I’m proud of you, Rin,” Haru said.  “For telling him how you really feel.”  He came in from the balcony with a towel, dressed only in his square legs.

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Weren’t you listening when I said how much I fucked up in front of the JOC and JASF officials?”

Haru finished drying off, draping the towel around his neck.  “It sounded like ninety-percent Sugiyama to me.”  He slid the glass door closed.

“Nn.”

Arms caught Rin around the waist, Haru’s damp hands slipping underneath his jacket.  “No matter what happens tonight, there’s one thing you can definitely count on.”

Rin cocked a brow, meeting the tease glittering in Haru’s eyes.  “And that would be?”

“Sex.”

He coughed, trying not to laugh and failing.  “Haru, we need to work on your playful banter.”

“Mn.”  Haru frowned, leaning in.

Rin’s mirth evaporated as Haru’s mouth covered his, the kiss long and lingering, with a tantalizing brush of tongue.  He forgot about everything but Haru and breathing when they parted.  “Are we starting now?” he asked, winding his arms around his lover’s shoulders.

“I need your help for shaving touch up.  Might as well do you, too.  Just in case.”

Rin pressed lips that tasted like Haru.  “…We’re still talking about shaving, right?”

The look Haru gave him was so hot, the air sizzled.  “One last cold shower, Rin?”

“Hell yes,” he whispered, capturing Haru’s lips for another kiss while Haru unzipped his jacket.

-x-

“It’s down to this, Olympians—the final four swimming events.”  Coach Fujino stood at the head of the clinic room, clipboard in hand.  “After tonight, most of you get a few days to relax, recover, and cheer on your teammates in the Open Water Swim.”

Mikoshiba and Takara nudged elbows, standing together on the right side of the room.  The whole thirty-four member team had gathered in a semi-circle, accompanied by team staff, their assistant coaches, a JASF representative, and Saeki from the JOC.

“First up tonight will be Sada-san in the fifty free final.”

“Hai,” Sada said.

“The second event is Mikoshiba-kun’s fifteen-hundred meter free.”

“Ready, Coach!”  Mikoshiba folded his arms, grinning.

“As for the medley relays…”

Rin swallowed, his palms clammy.  His right hand was laced with Haru’s left.

“Swimming the women’s relay will be Konishi-san, Otani-san, Ozawa-san, and Sada-san.”

The women quietly cheered, the rest of the team clapping.

“Thank you, alternates, for all of your hard work.  As for the men…”

Rin steeled himself, holding his breath.

“We’ve selected Momotarou-kun, Captain Ikehara, Sugiyama-kun, and Nanase-kun.”

Rin exhaled slowly with his eyes closed, feeling the disappointment, but setting it aside.  Haru gripping his hand made it easier.  _This is how it should be.  The Japanese Olympic legend swimming for the team and his fans—maybe someday that will be me._   Rin opened his eyes when he knew he had himself together, freeing his hand to clap along with his teammates.

“Can I ask something, Saeki-san?”

Rin stilled when Sugiyama spoke.  The applause faded, all eyes landing on the guy as he straightened from the wall on the left side of the room, slipping his hands into the pockets of his warmup pants.

Saeki, in her black business suit, stepped forward, coming even with Coach Fujino.  “Of course, Sugiyama-kun.”

Sugiyama’s face was cool, though his jaw was rigid like Rin had seen earlier.  “Is this the JOC extending me an olive branch because of the publicity?  Or an ultimatum, giving me one last chance?  Because you can’t convince me the clock and good behavior fell to _me_ in your deliberations.”

 _What the fuck are you doing?_   Rin’s heart started to pound.  _Talking like that to the JOC Executive Board?_

The room went dead silent. 

Saeki adjusted her wire-rimmed glasses before speaking.  “It is the responsibility of the JOC to encourage the manifestation of the Olympic values.  At times, it is necessary to reprove and to challenge where they may be lacking.  Second chances, where appropriate, are also within our prerogative.”

 _Translation, yes and yes._   Rin’s mouth went dry.  Haru had his hand again, his grasp firm.

“I still have the option?” Sugiyama asked.

“Absolutely,” Saeki said.

Sugiyama’s eyes were as hard as before, but there was a slight crack in his cold veneer, showing something raw underneath.  “I’m not trying to burn bridges or sound ungrateful, Saeki-san.  But I know what you want and I can’t give it to you.  Not tonight, not like _him_.”  Derision dripped from the word.  Sugiyama could only be talking about Damien Andrews.

“I appreciate your honesty, Sugiyama-kun.  Integrity is the most basic virtue required of any athlete.”  Saeki perched a hand on her hip.  “To be clear, we’ve never asked you to be the gregarious American captain.  But your team deserves more than to be ancillary to your rivalry.”

“I know.  That’s why…”  The guy exhaled roughly.  “Matsuoka.”

Rin nearly jumped as Sugiyama’s gaze found him.

“Take it.  I’m delegating.”

Rin forgot how to breathe, his heart thudding in his throat.  _You’re cutting yourself out of a possible medal…_

Sugiyama’s eyes sharpened, the look clear.  _Don’t go back on our deal._

Rin pressed his lips into a line, fighting a tremor.  _Is this really happening?_

“Matsuoka-kun?”

He met Saeki’s dispassionate gaze. 

“Will you represent your country and your team tonight in the medley?”

Rin let go of Haru’s hand so he could bow properly.  “Hai.”  His eyes burned.  “I promise to do my best.”

Someone started clapping, the whole team joining in.  Rin’s nearest teammates boxed his shoulders as he straightened. 

Coach Fujino cleared his throat at the front of the room.  “Does anyone else have a grievance with the roster?  I only want to change the paperwork once.”  He scanned the room…and smiled in a pained sort of way.  “Very well.  I want to, again, thank the alternates for your hard work and dedication to the team.  Warm ups commence at nine PM tonight; obviously we’ll be focused on exchanges and final adjustments for the relay teams.  Questions, Olympians?”  When there were none, Fujino nodded.  “Alright, dismissed.”

“ _Rin._ ”  Haru hugged him tight around the waist.

“Rin-senpai!”  Momo glommed onto him from behind.

Mikoshiba gave him a thumbs-up from the right side of the room, Takara doing the same.

 _You guys…_   Rin blinked back tears.  He couldn’t help but glance towards the door.

Sugiyama turned to go, Rin catching the look of resignation on his face, but there was relief, too.

“Sugiyama-kun.”  Saeki joined him at the door.  She wasn’t exactly smiling, but she looked pleased.  “Walk with me.”

Rin watched his childhood hero leave with the JOC official.  Maybe there _was_ something to the 4x200m free.  _When you stood up to Damien Andrews and motivated us_.  Deep down, maybe a sliver remained of the teenager who’d looked so thrilled to make the National Team for Athens, _before the rivalry became your life.  The JOC hasn’t given up on you yet._

Rin’s heart settled.  _I don’t mind swimming in your place tonight, Sugiyama-senpai._   He smiled to himself, hugging his teammates.  _Let’s see what happens in four years._

-x-

The night was clear with a few bright stars visible over the well-lit Olympic Park.  The Aquatic Centre glowed blue and white with inner light.  While fans roamed the park in team colors with banners, streamers, and signs, the nine officially-rostered medley relay members posed for photos by the Olympic rings at the JOC’s request.  Haseda was the photographer.

Rin’s cheeks ached from grinning.  He stood between Haru and Kawamura for more pictures than he could count, going blind from the flashes. 

“Alright, that’s a wrap!”  Haseda lowered her camera.  “Thanks, everyone.  Good luck tonight!”

Rin had Haru’s hand as they headed inside the stadium for their last night of Olympic swimming.  Four and a half months, four training camps, seven international competitions, two high altitude camps…all leading up to one week, now coming to a close. 

“I can’t believe it’s almost over,” Rin whispered, looking up at the Rio 2016 banner stretched over the arena entrance.

Haru paused, looking Rin’s way, their arms outstretched and connected between them.  “You know this is just the start, Rin.  Of our Someday.”

Rin grinned, biting his lower lip as he squeezed Haru’s fingers.

Haru’s eyes shimmered blue like the stadium.  “Was that cheesy and romantic enough for you?”

“Yeah.  Come on.”  Rin picked up the pace, leading the way inside…

-x-

Rin had the most work to make up during exchange practice.  He did a dozen with Captain Ikehara, the timing rough at first but cleaner with each iteration. 

“That’s good, Matsuoka-kun,” Coach Fujino said after Rin surfaced.  “I don’t want you cutting it any closer than that.  Ready to switch it up?”

“Hai.”  Rin swam back to the blocks where Ikehara was waiting, his arm draped over the lane line.

“Nanase-kun.”  Fujino turned away, waving Haru over from the team area.

Haru nodded, finishing his conversation with Ozawa and Konishi as he came over, his left wrist still taped as a precaution.

“I think you’ve got it down, Matsuoka,” Captain Ikehara said, smiling.

Rin drew a breath, lifting his goggles to his forehead.  “Thanks.”  He wiped water from his face, hesitating.  “This is…a little weird, huh?”

“Just because I usually swim this race with him?”  Ikehara’s expression was fond.  “It’s about time Sugiyama-senpai does some soul-searching.”  The captain stripped off his cap and goggles.  “The JOC had nothing to lose, putting him on the spot like that.  But you have every right to be here, Matsuoka-kun.  On your own merit.”

Rin nodded.  “I’m not really questioning it anymore.”

“I get it.  We’re all a little in awe of him, myself included.  But that’s the problem with pedestals, right?”

“Hai.”

Captain Ikehara squeezed his shoulder, smiling with warmth before he turned to climb out of the pool.

“Rin.”  Haru was up on the block, goggles in place.  “Why aren’t you ready yet?”

 _Someone’s impatient._   Rin grinned, lowering his goggles and twisting underwater, pushing off from the wall with both feet.  He swam out to fifteen meters and surfaced, waiting for Coach Fujino to give the signal as Haru bent forward, wholly focused on him.  Rin’s heart started to beat faster.  _Let’s do this, Haru._

-x-

“ _Go Team Japan_ on three, ready?”  Ozawa led the cheer, the eight of them in a tight huddle in the first call room.  “One, two, three—”

“ _Go Team Japan!_ ”  They each pumped a fist into the air, then broke apart for final hugs and slaps on the back as the women’s team headed to final call.

“Good luck, you guys!”  Otani waved vigorously at Rin and the other men, looking as manic as usual.

“Come on…”  Sada slung an arm around the girl’s shoulders.  “We’re definitely getting you a drink tonight when we’re done here.”

Otani paled.  “But I’ve never, um…”

“Up to you, but I’d pay money to watch you sing drunk karaoke.”

“I _do_ like karaoke…”  Otani blushed.  “I could maybe try…one drink.  Or part of one.”

Sada chuckled.  “You got it.”

“Sadaaaa.”  Momo flailed in Sada’s wake, Rin grabbing the back of the kid’s _sakura_ jacket.

Sada glanced over her shoulder.  “Yeah, Squeaker?”

“Hee.  If we _both_ win medals, can I have another kiss?”

Sada quirked a brow.  “Right… ‘cause you handled the last one so well.”

“Ehh…”  Momo flushed pink.  “I was thinking like…the way Sakamoto-senpai—”

Rin clapped a hand over the kid’s mouth.  “I’m telling your brother you said that.”

Sada winked.  “Sure, Squeaker.  That comes with a four-year raincheck.”

“Awww…”  Momo went limp, held up only by Rin’s grip on his jacket.

“Growing up is tough, isn’t it, Momotarou-kun?” Captain Ikehara said, smiling.  “Good luck, ladies.”

Haru traded hugs with Konishi and Ozawa. 

“Good luck, Nanase-kun!”

“Thanks, you too.”

After another round of waving, the women disappeared through the doorway into final call.

Momo folded himself into a chair, pouting, and took out his phone.  The TV screen followed the women from Denmark, USA, and Belarus as they made their victory lap for medaling in the 50m free.  Sada had taken seventh place.  The ceremony for the men’s 1500m free would follow, with the Italians going one-three and the United States nabbing silver.  Mikoshiba had taken sixth place, just behind Ty from the Australian team.

Haru sat down, taking out his earbuds and working them under his cap.  Rin cocked a brow, wondering what was on Haru’s playlist tonight— _karaoke?  Málaga photoshoot?_ Haru met his gaze, his blue eyes glittering and spicy.  The answer was superfluous; either way, Rin could tell what was on Haru’s mind.  He glanced away, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck as heat crept up his spine.  _Not that I can say anything different…_

It was nearing time for the women’s relay when the American men’s team arrived in their matching parkas.

Damien came over, sizing Rin up with a flick of cool eyes that matched his smile.  _“The Japanese team must be tired of winning medals if you’re swimming the fly leg.”_   …All said in lovely dulcet tones, like usual.

With everything Rin had been through with Sugiyama today…  “ _I’m not getting into this with you_.”  _I don’t care what you think about me or my swimming._

“ _Someone’s salty about last night’s silver medal tie_.”  Ethan, in green and gold, slipped an arm around Damien’s shoulders and winked at Rin.

Damien exhaled, glaring mildly at the Australian captain.  “ _And you’re awfully cocky after one gold medal_.”

“ _Hey, I learned from the best_.”  Ethan drew Damien away, giving Rin a quick wave.

“Nicely handled, Matsuoka-kun,” Captain Ikehara said as Rin dropped into a chair between him and Haru.

“Ehh.”  _If you say so._   “You make a point of staying off his radar, huh?”

Ikehara shrugged.  “We’ve got different specialties.  But, yeah.”

 _Because you were there in Beijing._   Rin didn’t ask. 

The women headed out for their race, Team Japan having lane three between the United States and Russia.  The men filed into the final call room, Rin’s phone lighting off as it had been for the last thirty minutes.

Nitori sent him and Momo a video of the Samezuka crowd cheering.  _“Captain Matsuoka, Momo-senpai, ganbatte!!!”_   They were all decked out in Team Japan gear, Nitori most of all.  _“Good luck, Rin-senpai, Momo-kun!!”_

Sousuke, home for Obon, was sitting on the edge of the group in the recording, smiling affectionately at the others’ antics. _[Clean up out there, Rin,]_ he texted.

There was a second video from the Iwatobi group—Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Rin’s mom, and Mikan with all of the families and the new members of the Iwatobi swim team.  _“Good luck, you guys!!!”_   Individual messages were lost amidst the cheering and incoherent squealing.

 _[Best of luck, Rin.  We’re cheering you on from Sydney.  Tell Haruka for us, too,]_ Russell and Lori wrote.

“Haru.”  Rin nudged his lover, showing him the text.

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “My parents did this.”  Haru offered his phone.  The picture had Haru’s parents in the center and a crowd of people gathered with them.  They held a large Japanese flag, everyone wearing Team Japan bandanas on their foreheads.  “It’s a bunch of my dad’s coworkers and their families.”

Rin smiled.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start, please.”_

He shifted his attention to the screen, where Konishi was in the water for Team Japan.

_“Take your marks.”_

_Come on, ladies…_

The signal was given, the swimmers arcing backward into the pool, the roaring crowd filling the stadium with cheering…

It was a tough race, the medals in the end going to the United States, Australia, and Denmark.  Japan took seventh, the women hugging in the background with bittersweet smiles as the cameras focused on the celebrating victors.

At the front of the final call room, two Rio officials lifted their clipboards.  _“Germany…”  “Brazil…”_

Nerves and eagerness woke in Rin’s stomach as he got up, putting his phone away.

“This is it, you guys,” Captain Ikehara said as the four of them huddled up.  “Well, Matsuoka?”

“Me?”  Rin blinked, meeting his captain’s gaze.

Ikehara nodded, his smile warm and expectant.

Rin blushed.  “Ehh.”  _I’m still trying to believe this is happening right now._  

“Come on, Rin-senpai!”  Momo beamed at him.

“Rin.”  Haru’s eyes were full of affection and the same excitement Rin felt.  But the look was more than just tenderness, Haru tracing the _sakura_ pattern on Rin’s jacket with his fingertips.

 _Oh_.  Rin grinned.  He tightened his arm around Haru’s shoulders, looking at his teammates.  “This is it—our moment, our chance—in front of the world…”  Rin drew a breath, the feeling—like a glow—welling up inside him.  “Let’s show them—”

Haru said it with him, “—a sight they’ve never seen before.”

“Yeah!”  Momo thrust a fist into the air, making the huddle a mess with his dancing.

Captain Ikehara chuckled as he shepherded the kid towards the line.  He glanced back over his shoulder.  “Someday, you guys have to tell me the story behind that one.”

Rin’s face grew hot, but he owned it like the twelve-year-old kid he used to be, standing under a _sakura_ tree.  “You got it, Captain.” 

Arms slipped around his waist.  Haru leaned in, their goggles meeting with a tap as their foreheads touched.

“We’re supposed to be lining up,” Rin whispered.

“I know.”  Haru didn’t budge.  “I would’ve been OK with it, if you only got to swim the heats…  But I’m glad it’s you, Rin.”

“Haru…”  A rush of heat gathered in Rin’s throat.

“I’m happy we get to swim this relay together.”

“ _Oi_ —”  Rin blinked against the sudden sting in his eyes.  _You’re not supposed to make me cry_ before _the race…_   “Damnit, Haru,” he muttered, hugging his lover fiercely.  _You make me feel like we’re kids again.  Only, this isn’t the last relay we swim together before I leave for Australia…it’s the first on our way to forever—_

_“Senhor Nanase!  Senhor Matsuoka!  Por favor!”_

They broke apart, heading to their place in line behind the Australians.  Rin’s ears burned under his swim cap.  Haru looked a tad sheepish, but there was no mistaking the pleasure in his eyes.  Rin relaxed, smiling, and took Haru’s hand.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the athletes in the championship final of the men’s four-by-one hundred medley.”_

_“In lane eight, representing Germany…”_ After the introduction was repeated in Portuguese, the relay members were named by the announcer as the team walked out.

 _“In lane one, representing Brazil…”_   The crowd noise spiked as the Brazilian team headed out. 

_“In lane seven, representing Russia…”_

_“In lane two, representing China…”_

_“In lane six, representing Australia…  …Dave Turner, Tristan Kelly, Dillon Lee, and Ethan McInnes.”_

Team Japan stepped up to the doorway, waiting just out of sight.

_“In lane three, representing the United States of America…”_

There was the cowbell, loud as ever, as Damien Andrews and his team were introduced.

 _We’re up_.  Rin drew a deep breath.  Haru squeezed his hand. 

 _“In lane five, representing Japan…”_   The four of them linked hands, walking out in front of the screen bearing a rippling Japanese flag.  _“…Momotarou Mikoshiba, Yoshino Ikehara, Rin Matsuoka, and Haruka Nanase.”_

They raised their clasped hands high to a surge of cheering before heading for their lane.  The loudest yelling came from their teammates in the stands on the left, on their feet and waving their Japanese flags.

_“In lane four, representing Great Britain…”_

Momo managed to bounce around and strip at the same time.  _You snuck a bunch of soda again, didn’t you?_   Ikehara waved to his wife and daughter before sitting down in the chair and loosening his shoelaces.  Rin and Haru stood behind with the other fly swimmers and anchors; their team alongside the best in the world. 

Rin hadn’t yet let go of Haru’s hand and he wasn’t planning to until it really became necessary.  _We’re finally here—our last race in Rio_.  From that first night at Haru’s apartment in Tokyo, watching Coach Fujino’s interview during the Olympic Trials after he’d finally made the team, Rin’s journey here with Haru and their teammates had been filled with countless moments that he treasured.  This was one more. 

Haru met his gaze, his blue eyes shining with _sakura_ -tree promises and endless possibilities.  Rin grinned as the four-pulse sounded, followed by the long-whistle.

Momo jumped into the pool, wiggling his way up to the start holds.

_“Quiet for the start, please.  Ladies and gentlemen, quiet for the start.”_

It took a handful of seconds for the crowd to calm down, especially with a Brazilian team in the race.  Finally, the noise faded…

“ _Take your marks._ ”

The buzzer sounded, Momo flipping backwards into the water in Japan’s lane.  While Captain Ikehara went to adjust the block and get ready, Rin took the chair, pulling off his shoes.

Momo’s sprint was even more insane than during yesterday’s heats.  He was keeping pace with the American lead-off swimmer two lanes over, the two easily head-and-shoulders ahead of the rest of the pack.  They flipped over into the turn, Momo trailing by a sliver as they pushed off the wall and raced back to the start.  Ikehara was up on the lane five block for Team Japan in his _sakura_ jammers.  Momo hit the wall, his time flashing up sub-52.  _Pretty sure that’s a new Japanese record._

Ikehara was the second one into the pool for the breaststroke leg.  Rin moved the wedge, making sure the block was dry, before he stripped down to his leg skins.  There was one other really important thing he had to do. 

“Haru.”

Rin lifted his lover’s wrist to his lips, soaking up the tenderness and excitement in Haru’s eyes.

Haru smiled.  “Go,” he said, shoving gently.

Rin grinned, lowering his goggles and heading for the block—

The British gold medalist and world record holder in lane four was swimming the fastest breaststroke Rin had ever seen.  Great Britain’s team had trailed during the backstroke leg, but now they surged ahead into first place.  Their swimmer hit the water first for the fly leg; Rin diving a few tenths of a second after. 

He plunged into cool water, coming up to smooth and rapid strokes of fly—the stroke Sugiyama was famous for.  Rin worked his way past the swimmer from Great Britain on his right; Dillon Lee was trailing on his left for the Australian team.  He knew what Damien Andrews would be doing two lanes over; Rin kept his pace tight and aggressive, but the desperation he’d felt last night in the fly was gone.  He didn’t have anything he needed to prove to anyone, not anymore.  He was swimming the way he wanted to, swimming his best for his team, and that was all that mattered.

Rin touched tile at the open turn, ducking underwater and catching a glimpse of Damien in lane three at the same time Damien was looking at him.  _Nice_.  Rin grinned to himself as he surfaced for the final thirty-five meters, with Haru waiting for him on the block.  _Sorry, Andrews, but this one’s mine._   Rin focused his entire body on Haru, on the race they’d been swimming together since they were kids, on the exchange they’d done a thousand times that always made his heart pound and his breath catch—

Rin slapped his hands home, Haru shadowing him as he dove…and for one split-second, Rin saw a different pattern of lights, a crowd full of Japanese fans including their friends and family, and a flash of gold from Haru’s left hand—  OK, there was no way Haru would be swimming with jewelry on, but still...

Rin knew his cheeks were pink as he fought for breath and hoisted himself out of the pool.  Momo glommed onto him, but Rin was still in the future, overwhelmed with the way their lives could change between now and Tokyo 2020.  _Haru…_

Two lanes over, Damien Andrews was climbing out of the pool for the United States, breathing just as hard as Rin.  The guy gave him a look that was something like, _Not bad_.  But Damien wasn’t conceding anything with that glance, either.

Ethan hit the pool in the lane on their left, making five anchors in the water.  The United States immediately edged into the lead; Haru was second.  The two were well ahead of the rest of the pack, but the British anchor in lane four and Ethan in lane six were taking chunks out of the gap with each stroke.  By the time they hit the final turn, the swimmers in lanes three through six were in a jagged line, with the United States and Japan ahead by slim margins. 

“Nanase-senpai!!”  Momo clung like a limpet to Rin’s back.

“Nanase-kun!”  Captain Ikehara was next to them.

Rin waited until the swimmers crossed the halfway point, cupping his hands around his mouth.  “Haru!!” 

Haru leapt forward, coming up into an all-out sprint like nothing Rin had ever seen and certainly not since his injury.  Flecks of foam and white water surrounded the swimmers as they charged for the finish, Haru sailing towards the wall with each perfect stroke of free—

The first four teams hit in rapid succession—United States, Japan, Great Britain, Australia.  Rin blinked in astonishment as the crowd showered them with deafening cheers.  _Holy shit—we did it._   Silver for Team Japan and not only that, the margin between first and second place had only been a couple tenths of a second.

Rin threw his caps and goggles to the pool deck, reaching down by the blocks.  “Haru!”

Haru turned from the board, drawing rapid breaths as he pushed his goggles onto his forehead.  “Rin—”  He clasped Rin’s hand, letting Rin help him from the water.

Haru was in Rin’s arms the next instant, breathless and leaning against him.  “Rin…”  His name was a whisper, Rin meeting wide eyes, blue that shimmered like the pool.  Water rolled down Haru’s face, dripping onto Rin’s arms.  “I saw…something incredible.”

Rin’s breath hitched.  _Did we see the same thing?_   There wasn’t time to get into it here.  Later, though, when they were alone and it was quiet…  For now, Rin tightened his arms, drawing Haru closer.  “Me too,” he whispered back. 

“Nanase-senpai!  Rin-senpai!”  Momo latched onto them with arms _and_ legs—

“ _Oi_ , Momo.”  Rin laughed, managing to keep his balance. 

Captain Ikehara joined the hug, the four of them sharing grins and smiles until Momo noticed the cameras and hopped down.

“Mika-nee!  Gou-san!”  Momo waved vigorously, shoving his face towards the lens while the poor camera operator tried to back away.

Rin snagged the kid’s arm.  “Save it for the Mixed Zone, Momo.”

“Aww.”

They shook hands with the Australian team after that—Dave, Tristian, Dillon, and Ethan, whom they’d swam against in training a week ago. 

 _“Well, I’d say we’ve got your number.”_   Ethan extended his hand.  _“Congrats, Haruka, Rin.  Let’s give it another go in Tokyo.”_

Haru nodded, clasping the Australian captain’s hand.  _“We’ll look forward to it.”_

The cowbell and _USA-USA_ chants were still going on as they gathered their things, waving to their teammates in the stands and heading for the Mixed Zone.

Coach Akagi and Coach Maekawa were there and spent the next several minutes shepherding them down the line.  Rin found himself answering the same questions over and over again. 

_“How does it feel?”  “What can you say about the race?”  “What are your thoughts on Tokyo 2020?”_

_“It was amazing—a dream come true.”  “Tonight was a huge team effort and accomplishment; we couldn’t have done it without Kawamura, who swam the prelim round with us.”  “Absolutely, we’re planning on Tokyo 2020.”_

…And then Team USA showed up and no one wanted to talk to the silver medalists anymore. 

Captain Ikehara shrugged, smiling.  “We can’t compete with Damien Andrews’ swan song.”

“Does that mean we can go now?” Haru asked.

 _Don’t look so excited about it._   Rin grinned.

Maekawa ticked things off her fingers.  “Warm down, ceremony prep, ceremony, and press conference.  You all know the drill.”

“Nn.”  Haru pursed his lips, looking irritated.

“Believe me, it’ll go by faster than you think,” Maekawa said. 

Beside her, Akagi nodded. 

“Try to enjoy it.”

-x-

After showering and dressing, Rin and Haru followed their teammates out of the locker room, meeting up with their coaches to be escorted to the opposite side of the pool.

“I’ll be a minute,” Ikehara said, slipping away.

Momo bounced his way over to the women’s medley teams—also headed to the ceremony room.  “ _Hi!  My name is Momo_ ,” he said in English.

_“Aww, isn’t he cute?”_

Maekawa sighed and went after him.

“Rin,” Haru whispered, catching Rin’s arm at the elbow.

He stopped, glancing over towards the green Rio barrier…

Captain Ikehara was next to the barrier, embracing his wife and daughter.  Chiyo was smiling and crying in her red, white, and black _Team Ikehara_ T-shirt, the captain looked on the verge of tears himself, and little Manami—in the center of the embrace—looked confused.

“Why’s Mommy crying?” she asked, tugging on her mother’s sleeve.  Manami was decked out in a tiny _Team Ikehara_ sweatshirt with a frilly red skirt and white tights.

“Because I’m happy, baby,” Chiyo said, dabbing at her tears with a tissue.

“You too, Daddy?” 

“Yeah.”

The girl still looked puzzled.  From Ikehara’s arms, she looked around. 

Rin and Haru had been watching from a polite distance, but when Manami’s face lit—

“Rin!  Har-ka!”

 _Oops—spotted_.  Rin shared a smile with Haru as Ikehara and his wife waved them over.

“Congratulations, you two!” Chiyo said, smiling broadly after drying her eyes.

“Thanks.”

“ _Rin!_ ”  Manami struggled in her father’s arms, making grabbing motions with her hands.

“Wanna try?” Haru asked.

“Eh…”  Rin blushed, rubbing the side of his neck.  “If you help me.”

Haru accepted the girl from Ikehara, bringing her close.  Manami immediately latched onto Rin’s hair with tiny fists. 

“Mana-chan, don’t pull,” Ikehara said.

“Mana’s not pulling,” she said.

“Like this.”  Haru placed the child on Rin’s hip, positioning his arms and hands to support her.

It wasn’t…so hard…  Rin was face-to-face with Manami at first, then she exhaled and lay her head against his shoulder, settling in quietly.  His heart was pounding, but Haru was right there, his hands still guiding Rin’s arms and standing so close he was almost holding both of them.  Haru was so calm and not scared.  Rin started to relax…until he thought, _This could be us, someday_ , and his face heated up again. 

“You’re doing great, Rin,” Haru whispered, looking pleased and happy.

“Really?”  He kind of doubted it; Manami was a very easy-going child.  But with a glance at the girl’s parents—Captain Ikehara and his wife looking on and smiling…  _Guess I’m not doing it totally wrong._

Ikehara and Chiyo quietly continued their conversation, drawing Haru in occasionally.  As the minutes went by, the child grew heavier in Rin’s arms, her grip on his hair relaxing.

“Mana-chan?” Rin whispered. 

The girl’s eyes were closed, her breaths soft and regular.  She didn’t make a peep.

“I think she’s asleep,” Haru murmured.

“Oh, let me take her back.”  Chiyo reached for the girl.  “In case she drools on your uniform.”

Haru gently extracted the child from Rin’s arms and gave her back to her mother.  “Thank you,” he said.

“Anytime.”  Chiyo smiled, balancing the sleeping toddler on her hip.  “Mana really likes you guys.  Let us know if you ever want to come visit.”

 _For parenting practice?_ Rin was certain his face was the same color as his hair.  “Thanks.”

They left Ikehara with his family, continuing on towards the ceremony room. 

“Still want to, Rin?” Haru asked in a whisper.  “Someday.”

Rin laced their fingers together.  “Yeah.”

-x-

_“Mesdames et Messieurs, les médaillés d'argent, représentant le Japon…”_

They stepped onto the podium, hands linked and raised high in triumph.  The crowd cheered, Japanese flags rippling in the stands.  As their names were called, Rin bowed his head to receive his third and final Rio medal.  The silver medallion gleamed under the bright stadium lighting.  Rin ran his thumb over the inscription as Haru got the last medal, beside him.  Soon, the photographers in front of the podium were motioning the four of them together for pictures.

Rin draped an arm around Haru’s shoulders, Haru’s hand resting on his waist as they held their medals for the photos, Captain Ikehara and Momo leaning in next to them.

From the time the gold medalists were announced, Damien Andrews and his team stole the show.  Rin didn’t care.  He savored their victory lap around the pool—his last time standing here on the pool deck in Rio, grinning for pictures with his teammates, waving to their supporters in the stands.  Except for Momo running the length of the pool with a Japanese flag held high overhead (until the Rio officials managed to corral him), the ceremony went off smoothly. 

The press conference followed with the majority of questions directed at Damien Andrews or at others _about_ Damien Andrews (it was not surprising but still annoying).  There were more interviews with the JOC and Japanese reporters as the stadium emptied out, including pictures with Kawamura, who would get his medal in a team ceremony tomorrow morning.

But the obligations did end, their coaches putting them and their teammates on one of the last buses back to the Athletes’ Village.  Party plans were the topic of conversation during the short ride—who knew about the elite gatherings, which country was planning the biggest bash with the most alcohol, where house parties were going on outside of the Village...

Several invitations were thrown Rin and Haru’s way, which wasn’t unusual.  It’d been happening all week since they started winning medals. 

 _We’re finally done._ Rin leaned close to his lover, his heart starting to thud in his chest.  “You, uh…want to stay in tonight, right?”

Haru gave him a look that made the blood boil in his veins.  “Rin, I don’t even want to get dinner.”

The air hissed out through Rin’s teeth as he settled back against the seat.  _Why the fuck aren’t we there yet?_

When the bus finally arrived, they got off and went through security with their gear bags, separating from the rowdy crowd as soon as they were on Village grounds.  Haru had a firm grip on Rin’s hand as they headed for their tower.  It took all of Rin’s willpower not to sprint for the door—

“Rin-senpai!”

 _Fuck_.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Haru muttered.

Rin glanced back against his better judgment.  Momo looked confused as they split off in opposite directions.

“You’re not—?”

“Come on, Squeaker.”  Sada slung an arm around the kid’s shoulders and steered him towards the dining hall.

“We’ll, uh, be at least thirty minutes,” Mikoshiba said, coughing into his fist.

Rin’s face caught fire, but he’d never been more grateful to his former captain.

With an awkward wave, they dashed towards the building and pushed through the doors into the well-lit lobby.  Other Japanese athletes and JOC staff were coming and going and hanging out.  Rin drummed his fingers against his thigh as they waited for the elevator.  After a lengthy fifteen seconds, the car arrived and emptied out.

Inside, Rin punched the button for the eighth floor.  The elevator doors slid closed, leaving them alone for the first time in hours—

Gear bags hit the floor, their arms winding around each other.  Rin exhaled shakily, his gaze fixed on Haru’s lips.  “If I start kissing you, I’m not gonna be able to stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop, Rin.”  Haru closed the gap between them, the press of lips alone sending a jolt through Rin’s body. 

 _Haru…_   The rush of pleasure was immediate and heady, Rin burying his hands in Haru’s hair and angling his head for better access.  He groaned deep in his throat when Haru let him in, their tongues meeting in the warmth of their mouths.  Water kisses—as Haru called them—had never been off-limits, but in three weeks it hadn’t felt _this_ good…  Rin never even heard the _ding_ for their floor—

“Wonder twins!  Get a room that’s not the elevator!” 

Rin and Haru broke apart. 

“Sorry, Sakamoto,” Rin muttered as they gathered their bags from the floor, slipping past Takara in her party clothes.

She rolled her eyes, flipping loose black hair over her shoulder as she boarded the elevator.

Rin fumbled for the key to their apartment at their door, a task made harder when warm hands crept under his _sakura_ jacket, Haru’s hands splayed against his skin.

He nearly dropped the key.  _Fuck_.  Rin drew a breath, managing to get the door unlocked and open—

They kicked their shoes off in the entryway, throwing their bags down as soon as they got to the bedroom.  Rin’s back hit the wall not far from the sunset poster.  Haru’s hands were on his shoulders; Rin’s gaze was filled with blue and Haru’s lips that were reddened from their kisses.  The lights were off, the room lit by a soft glow from the Village beyond the balcony.  It gilded Haru’s raven hair with silver and made their medals gleam.

Rin’s lungs emptied in a rush.  He got his hands on Haru’s waist, pulling his lover against him.  “Love you,” he whispered, reaching for the zipper of Haru’s jacket.

Haru’s eyes softened with pleasure.  He leaned in.  “Love you, Rin.”  The words were whispered against Rin’s lips, followed by a kiss that stole Rin’s breath and quickened his pulse—

Rin unzipped Haru’s jacket, their medals clinking quietly between them.  “We need fewer—”

“—clothes.”  Haru hooked a thumb over the tab of Rin’s zipper, finding his lips again…

Their warmups became a pile on the floor in seconds, with their medals on top.  Peeling each other out of their tech suits took eons longer, the task complicated by deep kisses and teasing grazes of hands and hips…  They finally flung the suits aside, wearing nothing but their bracelets. 

Rin sank his teeth into his lower lip as he scraped his lover head-to-toe with his gaze.  For three weeks, they’d been so careful not to let things get too far, too out of hand.  _No more_.  He was aching with the same longing and desire he saw on Haru’s face, colored by the same eager blush in heated skin.  Rin rested his hands on Haru’s shoulders, the wall smooth at his back as he beckoned his lover close—

In the semi-dark, Haru’s eyes were like the ocean at night.  Rin wasn’t breathing at all as Haru walked into his arms—  From the first brush, he was groaning.  Strong arms circled his waist; by the time their bodies were flush, they were both gasping, trembling with pleasure like wildfire without any frigid water to douse the flames.

Their breaths mingled in the space between their mouths as they stilled for one timeless moment.  Rin didn’t dare look away, his gaze caught on parted lips and the fireworks in blue eyes—the same lighting off in his nerves everywhere their skin touched.  He didn’t want to miss a second of this.  Rin wanted more, he wanted forever, he wanted—

“Rin…”  His name was a whisper, Haru sliding his hands down Rin’s traps to grip his backside, pressing him against the wall.  Haru moved first and Rin’s moan was all he knew of words.

He fell against his lover’s lips, their hips finding a rhythm in _slow_ glides, groaning into each other’s mouths.  After weeks of denying themselves, Rin knew it wasn’t going to take much more than this.  Still, he wanted it to last, tangling his hands in shards of silken black hair as Haru’s fingertips dug into muscle. 

They filled the room with the sound of their breathing, fragmented by deep liquid kisses and gasps as their hips rolled together.  The heat was building quickly, gathering tight and low and Rin’s control was crumbling…

He broke from Haru’s lips, running his mouth along his lover’s jaw.  “Bed?”

Haru jerked his head in a nod, grabbing Rin’s hand.

They spilled across the beds, rolling until they found a comfortable position, the mattress creaking its protest.  Rin’s heart was racing, his chest heaving as Haru shadowed him, their legs tangled together.  He had a flashback to the pool, Haru over him, diving for the anchor leg—

Rin groaned, his lashes fluttering.  But his mind blanked at the spicy look Haru gave him before slipping down the bed.  _Wait…_   “Haru, _fuck_ —”  Rin’s head thudded against the mattress as pleasure tore through his body.  He clung to his lover’s shoulders for sanity’s sake, a fleeting and futile endeavor as Haru tortured him into mindlessness.  It had been far too long and this felt way too good to stop, but _shit_ he didn’t stand a chance if Haru didn’t let up—

Rin tried to work gasps into language but failed, settling for a shove that probably wasn’t convincing at all, but Haru relented.  Rin slumped against the sheets, relieved and trembling, running one hand over his face. 

When he had his faculties back, Rin pinned his lover with a glare.  “This’ll be over fast enough without _that_.”

Haru’s eyes glittered, entirely unapologetic.  “I wanted to.”

 _Damnit, Haru_.  With a growl, Rin levered himself up, grabbing Haru by the shoulders and twisting him down to the bed.  _I’ll wipe that smug look off your face…_

His revenge left Haru quivering against white sheets in the glow of light spilling in through the glass.  The sounds Haru made were glorious, along with the hand that twisted into a fist in Rin’s hair.  It wasn’t long before Haru was pushing at him with a harsh whisper.  “Rin, I can’t—”

Rin backed off, too far gone to revel in what he’d just done—not with rough breaths falling from Haru’s lips and Haru reaching for him.

They stretched out on their sides, face-to-face with their bodies flush and their legs intertwined.  Their movements were more purposeful this time, arms locked around each other, sweat breaking out on their skin.  Rin was gasping for breath, losing the battle a little more with each successive glide of hips.  But he lived for the sound of Haru panting against his ear.  As they gained speed and urgency, Rin buried his face against his lover’s throat, tasting salt as he worked his mouth down to the sensitive spot on the side of Haru’s neck—

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru’s whisper came with a hitch of breath and a shudder, Haru’s fingers digging into his waist.

 _Haru…_   Rin latched on with lips and teeth, on the very brink of falling—

Haru slipped a hand between their bodies—that one touch, one sharp spike of pleasure, was Rin’s undoing.  He jerked, biting down and moaning against Haru’s skin, seeing black and fireworks behind his eyelids—  In Rin’s arms, Haru was shaking, his low cry dissolving into three short groans—

Rin had zero concept of time as they lay there breathing, the occasional aftershock tearing through one of them, only to trigger another…  It was too much.  Rin pulled away, going out of his mind.  “Haru.”

“Nn.”  The mattress creaked as Haru rolled, settling onto his back.

“…Fuck.”  The air-conditioning slowly cooled their bodies and the crumpled sheets.  Rin scrubbed his face with one hand, his skin smelling like sweat, chlorine, and Haru. 

“If it’s going to be _that_ good…”

“No, we’re never doing that again.”

Laughter met Rin’s ears.  “OK, Rin.”  Haru took his hand, lacing their fingers together, their bracelets brushing at their wrists. 

Rin turned his head, meeting the warmth and mirth in his lover’s eyes, skin flushed pink with exertion, chest rising and falling with breath.  He remembered what he saw in the pool and his cheeks went hot.  “Na, Haru…”

“Hm?”

“I think…”  Rin’s face burned all the way to the tips of his ears as he forced the words out.  “…being, uh, _sort of_ engaged is OK.”

Haru stilled, his eyes going wide.  “Rin…”

“—For now.  At some point, one of us is gonna have to propose properly…”

Haru’s face lit with so much delight that Rin almost caved on the spot.  But he had nothing prepared—no ring and there should be some sort of date involved, not _just_ hot sex (though Rin wasn’t opposed to that happening too)…

Blue eyes flicked across Rin’s face and Haru smiled.  “In that case…”

Rin lifted a brow.

“Your sort-of fiancé is hungry.”

“You said you didn’t want dinner.”

“I said I didn’t want dinner _then_.  I want it now.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  “Haru…”

“I have _saba_ in my bag—”

“—No.”  Rin got up, pulling Haru with him.  “Shower, dinner, bed.”

Haru hummed his approval en route to the bathroom.

-x-

The karaoke was just getting started two apartments over when they snuck out for dinner.  By the time they got back…  Rin blinked in disbelief as the elevator doors opened on their floor to roving, multi-colored lights and mayhem.  The party had spilled from apartment 802 into the atrium; people were everywhere and several of them were getting _very_ friendly with each other…  Bean bag chairs and couches had been pulled out of apartments, along with end tables cluttered with cans and bottles.  In addition to the Japanese swim team, half of the Australian swim team was present, along with most of the Japanese women’s field hockey team and men’s rugby team.  And at the center of it all, microphone in hand, was Takara drunkenly belting out _Wrecking Ball_ at the top of her lungs. 

Rin pinched his nose as they reluctantly stepped out of the elevator.  _We weren’t gone that long; how the fuck did everything go off the rails this fast?_

“Matsuoka-kunnnn…”  Otani stumbled over, obviously tipsy, her light brown hair loose from its usual bun.  She wore a college sweatshirt and leggings, her brow creased and eyes on the verge of panic.  “I don’t know what to do…”  She fell against them, Rin catching the girl by the arm.

 _Fuck_.  “Where’s…?”

“The captain said he was off with his family tonight,” Haru said.

“Shit, you’re right.”  Rin scanned the atrium.  Mikoshiba was lying on the floor near the karaoke machine, a beer can in hand as he mumbled the words to Takara’s song.  Ozawa was on one of the couches—in the lap of an Australian swimmer—as she sang along.  Sada and Kawamura were nowhere to be found (and Rin had no intention of searching for them or whoever they were with…).  Meanwhile, Momo was sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching people make out.  Konishi was the only one who looked reasonably sober as she chatted with several members of the rugby team. 

Just when Rin thought he’d seen the worst of it, the relay-only guys—Higashi and Hirota—came running by in their underwear with Team Japan shorts on their heads.

“What happens in the Village…” Haru mumbled.

“We’re gonna get in _so_ much trouble…”  Otani clung to Rin’s arm, wailing.

Rin scrubbed his face with one hand.  “What time is it?”

Haru checked his phone.  “Way past curfew.”

“Coach Fujino’s gonna have our asses when he finds out about this.” 

“Yeah, this is worse than my birthday,” Haru said.

Rin sighed.  _I guess I gotta do it, huh?_

Haru glanced at him askance.  “You’re gonna go Captain mode, Rin?”

“ _Tch_.  Someone has to.”  _Especially when the deputy captain is part of the problem._ Ozawa looked _really_ comfortable.  On the other side of the atrium, Koda was cozying up to another member of the Australian team, but the way he kept sneaking looks at Ozawa, it was totally envy-flirting.

Rin pried Otani’s fingers from his arm.  “Stay here.”  The girl gulped, nodding.  “Haru, you get the lights, I’ll get the music?”

Haru smiled with his eyes.  “Good luck.”

“Thanks…”  He left them, wading into the fray.

“ _Oi, Rin!  I brought that six-pack for you!_ ”  Ty was at the mercy of the field hockey team and looked pretty happy about it.  He gave Rin a thumbs-up, grinning.

 _Yeah, this is why I don’t let you near my sister…_   Rin waved and continued on— 

_“—All I wanted was to break your walls...  All you ever did was wreck me—”_

Takara’s English was new levels of awful tonight.  Rin was tempted to plug his ears as he squeezed through a crowd of people dancing, searching for the karaoke machine’s power cord.

“Matsuoka!”  Takara broke off from butchering the song long enough to yell at him.  “Karaoke battle—best of three, let’s go!”

Her challenge was echoed by several drunken shouts.  “Yeah, Matsuoka!”  “Come on!”

“Not tonight, Sakamoto,” Rin muttered, tracing the power cord back to the outlet.  He found the plug and exhaled.  _How not to make friends in the Olympic Village…_   He yanked the plug free, the noise and colored lights cutting out—

The overhead lights flicked on, dozens of inebriated Olympians fixing Rin with glares.  “Hey!”

He faced the angry mob unapologetically, drawing a breath—

But Maekawa beat him to it.  “Do you have _any idea_ what time it is?!”  She was standing in front of the east elevators with her arms folded over her _sakura_ jacket.  “Get this cleaned up, _now_!”

The partiers scattered in all directions, leaving a wasteland of discarded clothing and empty cans and bottles in the atrium.  Members of the Japanese swim team—in various states of dress and sobriety—sullenly began to gather the trash.

Maekawa rubbed her forehead and sighed.  Her gaze found Rin near the outlet.  “If you wouldn’t mind taking care of your roommates, Matsuoka-kun.”

“Hai.”  Rin headed over to Momo on the floor, the kid wide-eyed and statue-still as if he wouldn’t get in trouble if he didn’t move.  _Dummy._   “Come on, Momo.”

“Hee.”  The kid jumped to his feet and scurried to their apartment.

“Mikoshiba.”  Haru had one of the guy’s arms. 

“Ha…haha…hell of a party.”  Mikoshiba grinned, raising his beer can in a toast.

“You still have to swim, you idiot,” Rin said, grabbing Mikoshiba’s other arm.

“Ehh, I only had one beer…  Or so…”

Rin rolled his eyes.  Between the two of them, they dragged the guy across the atrium.

“ _Ano_ , Matsuoka-kun?” 

Rin paused, glancing back.  “Yeah, Otani?”

The girl had a trash bag in hand as she collected party debris.  She smiled at him faintly, her eyes full of relief.  “Thanks.”

Rin nodded, smiling back.  “Anytime.”

On the other side of the atrium, Maekawa pulled Ozawa and Koda aside.  “Yumiko…  Takuya…”

She didn’t have to say anything else.  The two bowed low.  “ _Sumimasen_.”

Rin and Haru got the Mikoshiba brothers situated in their bedroom, then went to help the cleanup effort.  It didn’t end up taking long, though there were a number of clothing items they didn’t touch…  Rin figured half of the pile would end up on the wall of shame on the fifth floor, come morning.

It was late when they finally turned in for the night.  Rin felt grimy in his warmups after handling all of the empty drink containers.

“I’m gonna shower,” he said, unzipping his jacket on the way to the bathroom.

“Can I come, Rin?” Haru asked.  “I’m tired, but…”

Rin smiled, stopping in the doorway.  _Like I’m gonna say no_.  He tossed his jacket to the floor and held out his hand.  “Get over here.”

Haru came to him, their fingers lacing together and lips meeting as they felt their way to the shower and stripped off their clothes—

“Damnit, Haru!  _Not_ cold.”

“Sorry.  Habit.  …How’s that?”

“Better,” Rin muttered, dragging his hands through Haru’s hair.  They kissed again—deep and slow—as the warm spray pelted their bodies.  “Much better.”


	37. More than water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [Mystik](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystik/pseuds/Mystik) for the Brazilian Portuguese corrections!!

* * *

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

* * *

They were awake before sunrise—not out of bed, but _awake_ …  Haru muffled his gasps against Rin’s throat, trying to be as quiet as possible as Rin pressed him into the sheets.  It was harder than he thought and the rhythmic creaking of the mattress didn’t help the situation.  But as Rin drew a deeper breath, Haru’s name a whisper on an unsteady exhale…  Haru shuddered with pleasure and forgot to care, sliding one hand into Rin’s hair, digging his fingertips into muscle as they moved together.

They’d forgotten to draw the curtains last night.  The blue world beyond the glass balcony doors warmed steadily as they lost themselves in their lovemaking, in sweeter and more patient passions than the prior evening.  The first golden rays of morning were lighting the room when Haru couldn’t hold back any longer, groaning against his lover’s skin and shaking.  Rin trembled atop him, his harsh breaths tumbling across Haru’s neck—

For a while, neither of them moved as they caught their breath.  Haru basked in the afterglow, despite overheating with Rin’s sweat-slicked skin against his. 

Eventually, Rin lifted his head, his crimson eyes drowsy and sated, a smile playing on his lips.  “‘Morning, Haru…”

Haru’s heart did that thing.  _I hope I never stop falling in love with you_.  He angled his head, seeking his lover’s lips.  “‘Morning, Rin.”  Their kisses were soft and brief, interspersed with breathing as they recovered.

They washed up in the shower, Haru not hearing movement from the room next door, which hopefully meant they hadn’t woken their flat-mates. 

He dried off while Rin cranked up the water temperature and lingered a bit longer.  With the towel slung around his hips, Haru wiped fog from the mirror and perused his reflection…the left side of his neck in particular.  Warmth gathered in his cheeks.  _Could be worse_.  A smudge of red remained—fading but not gone—and if he looked really close, he could pick out a few darker pinpricks exactly matching the layout of Rin’s teeth.  Haru touched the mark gingerly.  It didn’t hurt and Rin hadn’t broken the skin…  He smiled to himself.  The memories alone were worth the awkward looks they’d get today.  _I don’t mind people knowing we had a good time together last night._

The shower shut off, the curtain snapping to the side as Rin stepped out—dripping wet and wonderfully nude—and reached for a towel from the rack.  His fingers stopped short, his face turning several shades of purple.  Rin’s gaze was locked on Haru’s shoulder.  “Shit, it’s still…?  Sorry, Haru.  I, uh…  I got a little carried away.  You seemed really into it last night, but, ahhh…  I shouldn’t have—”

Haru let his lover squirm for a moment longer.  _You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed_.  “I don’t have any regrets, Rin.  Furutani-san said he wanted a challenge.”   

Rin gnawed his lower lip, leaving dents like the ones on Haru’s skin. 

Haru turned from the sink.  “If you’re gonna fret, I can always give you a matching one.”  He wound his arms around Rin’s waist, not caring if he got wet again.  “Would that be better?”  A fine scatter of droplets clung to Rin’s skin, inviting a kiss…  Haru pressed his lips to the column of Rin’s throat first, slowly moving lower.

“Nm…”

 _You’re thinking about it._ Haru smiled against Rin’s shoulder.  “Or maybe…”  He slid a hand over Rin’s backside, down to his thigh—

“ _Oi_.”  Rin caught him by the wrist. 

Haru lifted his head, bemused. 

The epic scowl on Rin’s face was ruined by flushed cheeks.  “Matching’s bad enough.”  But he tilted his head to the side, presenting his shoulder.

Haru’s mirth evaporated, his brows lifting as he eyed the expanse of skin Rin was offering to him.  It was tempting, but…  He raked slick crimson strands behind Rin’s ear.  “ _Eu te amo_ , Rin,” he whispered, kissing Rin’s pouting lower lip.

Rin let out a breath in a puff of moist air, his gaze sheepish.  His arms circled Haru’s shoulders tightly.  “ _Eu tambén te amo_ , Haru.”

A soft press of lips gave way to a languid kiss, Rin gradually relaxing.  Haru smiled as they parted, draping a towel over his lover’s head before drying off for the second time.

They threw on Team Japan T-shirts, sweatshirts, and warmup pants—just enough to be presentable in the dining hall.  Their apartment was quiet as they left, but there was giggling coming from the atrium…

Rin hesitated with his hand on the doorknob. 

Haru listened for a moment, picking out a few voices.  “I think it’s just the Field Hockey team.”

Rin exhaled with relief, though he still cracked the door before opening it all the way.

“Matsuoka-kun!  Nanase-kun!”  Three members of the team were present, greeting them with loud(ish) whispers.  Ishikawa, Maki, and Yukimura wore short-sleeved practice jerseys and warmup pants.  Ishikawa had printouts in one hand and a tape dispenser in the other, while Maki and Yukimura—both taller—did the actual posting to the growing wall.

“Ladies.”  Rin scrubbed a hand through his hair as they headed over, Haru following.

“We were so bummed we didn’t get any of that famous Matsuoka karaoke last night,” Maki said, on her tiptoes as she tacked a photo of the women’s medley relay team to a blank spot high on the wall.

“It’s only Sunday,” Haru said, earning a glare from his lover which he wholeheartedly enjoyed.  “Sorry about the tournament.”

“Eh.”  Yukimura scowled as she grabbed the next photo from Ishikawa.  “We got to compete, that’s what matters.”

“And we’re done.  Finally.”  Ishikawa winked at them.  “Matsuoka-kun, if your friend Ty is looking for his shirt, we’ve got it on the fifth floor.”

“And his—”

Rin cleared his throat, interrupting whatever Maki was going to say.  “I’ll tell him.”

The girls laughed.  “Here.”  Ishikawa gestured towards them with the stack of photos.  “Make yourselves useful.”

Haru and Rin spent a few minutes helping out, posting pictures in hard to reach places.  There were tons from both medley races, along with the medal ceremony afterwards.  Haru smiled at a photo of Momo beaming and running towards the camera with the Japanese flag streaming over his head, with half a dozen Rio officials in hot pursuit. 

“This one turned out pretty good,” Rin murmured.

Haru looked over.  It was a shot of the podium, the four of them standing close together and holding their silver medals.  “I can’t believe you got through the whole ceremony without crying.”

“ _Tch._ ”

“Where’s that one?” Maki asked, dusting off her hands as she returned.

Ishikawa’s hands were empty.  “Oh, that one?  We posted it already.”

“ _Oh_.”  Maki grinned.

Haru lifted a brow.

“We’ll handle the rest,” Yukimura said, taking the last photos from their hands.  “You’ve got somewhere to be, right?”

“Just breakfast.”  Haru shrugged.

The girls exchanged a glance that definitely meant trouble.

“How about you go on ahead and save us seats?” Ishikawa said, tearing off strips of tape.

Haru flicked his gaze to Rin, who was eyeing the girls suspiciously.

Rin switched to an easy smile, apparently deciding to play along.  “Sure.  We’ll see you there.  Let’s go, Haru.”  He turned for the elevator.

Haru studied the trio for one moment more before joining Rin at the west elevator.  The car arrived in short order and they boarded—

_Oh._

Rin flushed pink beside him.

Together, they stared at the poster on the back wall—a close-up behind the blocks from last night’s relay, with Rin kissing his wrist during the breaststroke leg.  The camera caught them looking at each other, the warmth and affection in their gazes unmistakable.  On the lower right border, the photographer’s name was printed in English:  _Moriko Haseda_.

Squeals followed them into the car.  “It’s the best picture!”  “So cute!!” 

The elevator doors closed, leaving the Field Hockey team members behind as the car began to descend towards the lobby.

Rin rolled his shoulders and leaned back, slipping his hands into his pockets as he continued to study the photo.  His face was bright red.

 _I like it.  Can we put it next to the sunset poster?_ Haru waited for Rin to react, to complain or…

“Guess they ran out of room on the Wall, huh?”

Haru smiled, hugging Rin around the waist from behind.  He nuzzled Rin’s cheek, strands of scarlet hair tickling his nose.  “Let’s steal it after breakfast.”

“Mm.”  Rin was smiling as he turned his head, catching Haru’s lips.

-x-

As they entered the dining hall, the first thing that caught Haru’s attention was a loud mechanical cranking sound.  He glanced over in time to watch an Olympian in blue and white warmups grab a packet from the neon green condom dispenser and head on his way, tucking the item into a pocket.  Haru had become accustomed to the sound over the last two weeks, but it was still somewhat jarring and noticeable, just from volume alone.  Rin paused briefly, blushing, and then promptly moved on, tugging on Haru’s hand.

The Field Hockey team members joined them shortly after they sat down, carrying on a lively conversation that Haru mostly tuned out.  Rin was quiet during the meal, but Haru was content to leave him to his thoughts as the girls chattered.

He was about three-quarters done with his plate when he found Rin staring at something on the other side of the dining hall.  At first, Haru thought Rin was just zoning out, but the way Rin sucked in a breath and quickly looked away…  Haru followed Rin’s gaze, hearing another loud crank as a couple of athletes crowded around the condom dispenser.

 _Oh._   A flutter of nerves and excitement woke inside Haru.  He reached for his water bottle to quench a suddenly dry throat.  _I wanted to save that until after Rio.  …And Rio’s over._   He swallowed a mouthful of cool liquid. 

 _Do you want to, Rin?_   Heat rose in Haru’s neck and face as he considered it.  Taking this next step with Rin—now his unofficial fiancé—had been on his mind off and on since they first became lovers in Barcelona.  (To be fair, he’d had plenty of thoughts and fantasies long before that, but it wasn’t until the night of their Barceloneta Beach date that those things became real, possible, even inevitable.)  He wanted their first time to be perfect and romantic for Rin, not like a pool full of _sakura_ blossoms they couldn’t swim in because of a downpour. 

 _I wonder if the Grand Mercure hotel has any rooms available…_   He doubted he could match Málaga, but even a simple room would be more romantic than squeaky twin beds in an Athletes’ Village apartment.

Just the notion that Rin might want that with him—that Rin was thinking about it too—flooded Haru with warmth.  _I want to share that with you_.  _We just need to get some things.  Then, maybe as soon as tonight…_   He took a longer drink of water, trying to cool himself off and calm down.  It only half-worked and he lost the rest of his appetite. 

Beside him, Rin was contemplating the same bit of salad that had been speared on his fork for the last several minutes, pushing it around his plate (sans dressing—Rin was too healthy to add dressing).  His elbow was propped on the edge of the table, his chin resting in the heel of his hand.  Rin’s eyes were on his food, though he couldn’t be seeing any of it.  Any other time, Haru would’ve pegged him as brooding, but the way he was biting his lower lip meant this was something else entirely—something to match the rosy hues staining his cheeks.

“Rin?”  Their arms brushed as Haru leaned over.

“Huh?”  Rin jumped, his fork clattering to his plate.  “Eh, sorry.”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “My mind was elsewhere.  Yeah, Haru?”

 _If I asked, would you tell me?  What you see when you imagine us together?_   Those weren’t questions to voice in the dining hall.  The thoughts themselves were dangerous enough.

“You’re…not hungry?”

Rin drew a breath, reaching for his water bottle.  “Nah, I guess not.  I should’ve just gotten a protein shake or something.”

“We can go if you want.”

Rin surveyed their plates and shook his head.  “We’re almost done anyways.  It’ll be nice when we have a fridge to store leftovers again.”

 _At home, at the apartment we’re going to find for the two of us._ Haru smiled as he gathered a bit of rice with his chopsticks.  He lowered his voice to a whisper for his lover alone.  “I want one bed, Rin.  When we get an apartment.”

Rin coughed, returning his water bottle to the table and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  The glare was hot and irritated.

Unfazed, Haru met Rin’s gaze, lifting one brow smoothly.  _You’d only react that way if you were thinking bedroom thoughts._

Rin exhaled hard through his nose.  “Hurry up and finish your food.”

As soon as they were done, they excused themselves and bussed their trays, heading for the exit.  Rin, still seeming annoyed, had a firm grip on Haru’s hand as they left the dining hall.  But Haru still caught one last flick of scarlet eyes towards the green dispenser.

Outside, the morning was mild with a bit of mist still burning off.  Rin was aiming for their tower, but Haru stopped in the walkway.  “I thought we could run an errand.”

Rin glanced back, his features easing.  “Oh, you need something from the Plaza?”

“We could get things there,” Haru said.  “But it’s free at the clinic.”

Rin’s lips parted around an intake of breath, his face reddening.

Haru’s pulse was thudding in his throat as he pulled Rin close, until they were face-to-face.  “I saw you looking,” he whispered.  “I’m good with getting supplies.  For when we both want to.”

Rin blushed the color of his hair.  He looked away as if mortified, but his gaze didn’t wander for long, fastening onto Haru’s face as though he couldn’t bear to look elsewhere.  His grip tightened on Haru’s hand.  “You want to, Haru?  I mean, obviously not _now_ , but…”  He pressed his lips.  “Soon?”

“I want to,” Haru said, and the flash of delight and wonder in Rin’s eyes melted him inside, his heart dancing in his chest.

“The fuck are we waiting for?  Let’s gear up,” Rin muttered, starting to pull him in the opposite direction—towards the Polyclinic.

Haru resisted.  “Rin.”

He stopped.  “Yeah?”

Haru took a moment to work moisture back into his mouth.  “I want this to be…special.  I’m not sure if we can find a place as good as Málaga, but—”  He broke off as Rin crashed into him with a hug and kissed him square on the lips…

_In front of the dining hall…still in the Village, though._

“Haru.”  Rin’s smile was like sunrise and _sakura_ blossoms, his eyes soft.  “I don’t want a big production.  If you do, that’s fine with me, but I just want _us_.  We’ve spent two weeks here, swimming the best we’ve ever swam in our lives, making memories with our teammates and our loved ones.  I want this memory too.  I can’t think of anything _more_ special than to end our time in Rio like this.”

Haru’s breath caught.  _Rin…_

“I want easy, comfortable…  Hell, I don’t care if the bed’s noisy.  It’s been our place here, so…”

 _Our place_.  Haru swallowed around the lump that formed in his throat.  _Everywhere I’m with you is our place_.  He wrapped his arms around Rin, squeezing hard.  “OK.”

Rin’s smile broadened.  “OK?”

Haru nodded.  “Yeah.”  He grabbed Rin’s hand.  “Let’s go.”

-x-

The _Policlínica_ was just east of the long hangar-like dining hall—two massive tents with colorful banners and a white cross symbol.  The walkway took them past glass partitions before they got to the doors in the center; inside, Haru could see a row of folding plastic chairs arranged as a waiting area and other stations.  He got the door, Rin falling quiet as they went inside.  _Do all medical facilities make you uncomfortable, Rin?_   If so, he should’ve picked the Plaza.

There was a check-in desk on the right draped with a red Rio 2016 banner.  Beside it was a refrigerated _Coca-Cola_ case of bottled water.  Staff wore red, orange, and purple Rio polos—reminding Haru of sunsets and Rin’s eyes.  Tall partitions divided the rest of the space from the front waiting area.  There were several people around—athletes and team doctors in addition to the staff.  Just inside the door was another green dispenser proclaiming, _Celebrate with a condom!_ in English, Portuguese, and Spanish. 

“ _Tch_.”  Rin frowned, his face reddening as he looked around.  “They couldn’t just leave a box out or something?”

 _Oh, you’re just embarrassed._   “I guess we have to ask.”  It was Haru’s first closeup look at the machine.  He read the small English text below the dial.  “ _Natural latex from the Amazon.  Responsible use of natural resources.”_

“Haru…”  Rin made a strangled noise, pulling him away.

They got in line for the check-in desk, where three staff members were helping other athletes and handing out paperwork. 

While Haru waited, Rin fidgeted.  Every few seconds, Haru caught his lover doing something else—rubbing the back of his neck, massaging an elbow, tugging on the zipper of his sweatshirt.  Haru rolled his eyes.  _It’s not a big deal, Rin._   _This is a normal thing that people do._

When it was finally their turn, Haru went up to the woman who had called them over.

“ _Bom dia!  How can I help you today?_ ”  She had a bright smile and wavy black hair pulled into a ponytail.

“ _Bom dia_ ,” Haru said.  “ _We would like condoms and lubricant packets, please_.”

“ _Certainly!  I can help you with that.  For both of you?_ ”  She twisted in her chair, pausing before getting up.

Haru glanced over.  Rin was more behind him than beside him, blushing like a tomato with his hands shoved into his pockets. 

“ _Yes_.”

“ _Just a moment, please._ ”  She disappeared behind a nearby partition and came back seconds later with two colorful Rio 2016 bags.  _“Here you are.  Will this be enough for now?”_

Haru peeked inside the offered bags.  Each had maybe a dozen emerald green packets alongside twice as many half-sized white and silver packages.  _This is plenty._   Haru nodded.  _“Yes, thank you.”_   He handed Rin a bag while he took out one of the white packets, scanning the tiny silver text that was mostly in Portuguese.

“ _Haru_.” 

Haru tuned out his lover, not seeing in the text what he was looking for.  He held out the packet.  “ _Is the lubricant water-based?_ ”

There was a muffled expletive behind him, an arm hooking around his neck and dragging him from the desk.  Rin’s _Obrigado_ to the clinic staff was strained.

 _Nn_.  Haru pressed his lips, reluctantly accepting the fact that they were leaving.  He managed to dip his head to the slightly confused staff member.  “ _Obrigado_.”

“ _De nada_.”  She smiled back with a little wave.  “ _I believe so, by the way_.”

Rin didn’t let him go until they were outside and beyond sight range of the clinic’s windows.  “Haru, _damnit_.”  His face was purple again.

 _Oh, you think—_   Haru blushed.  “Not _that_ , Rin.  I read in my research—oil-based lubricants can cause latex to break, so it really _has_ to be—”

Rin’s glare shut him up in an instant.

Haru quietly returned the lubricant packet to his bag.

“Hmph.”  Rin massaged the back of his neck, looking away.  The motion was subtly sensual.  “You can’t fool me, Haru.  You were thrilled when your internet surfing turned up _that_ detail.”  Rin’s flick of eyes was lethally hot, Haru’s mouth going dry.

He clutched the plastic bag.  “I was…OK with it.”

Rin turned, his approach stealing the air from Haru’s lungs.  It only got worse when Rin slid an arm over his shoulder, fingertips curling into Haru’s hair and scraping lightly against his scalp. 

Haru shivered with pleasure—

“I _guess_ I can forgive you,” Rin murmured, his voice low and laced with the tease.  “As long as you still want _me_ more than—”

“—I love you more than water, Rin.”  The words tumbled from Haru’s lips in a rush.  _So much more_.

Rin’s eyes widened momentarily.  He laughed, slipping both arms around Haru’s shoulders for a proper hug.  “You’re forgiven,” he whispered, his lips finding Haru’s cheek.

Haru’s face was hot as Rin drew back.  _Do you have any idea what your smile does to me, Rin?  I’d trade whole pools just for one glimpse…_  

Rin—maybe oblivious, maybe not—treated him to a grin and grabbed his hand.  “Come on.”

They were heading up the steps towards the lobby of their tower when Haru’s phone buzzed in his pocket. 

The text was from Director Kaya.  _[Slight change of plans, Nanase-kun.  No speedos.  Bring your tech suits instead.  Everything else in the instructions is the same.  Can you tell Matsuoka-kun?  See you guys soon!]_

Haru showed Rin the text.

“Thank God,” Rin muttered.  “My legs are less pale but not by much.”

 _Nn.  It’s too bad._   Haru returned the phone to his pocket.

Rin quirked a brow.  “You’re disappointed?”

He shrugged.  “Haseda’s poses would’ve been good, I think.”

Rin flushed pink.  “ _Tch_.” 

They entered the lobby, passing several hungover teammates.  For their greetings, they only got half-hearted grunts in reply.  Haru followed Rin onto the elevator—the one with their poster tacked to the wall—with a few guys from athletics.

“Nice pic.”  The sprinter gave them a thumbs-up.

The color in Rin’s face deepened.  “Thanks.”

The guys got off on the third and fourth floors, leaving them with the elevator to themselves.  Haru carefully pried the poster from the wall of the car.  “We’ll have to pack these up.”

“Huh?  The posters?”

Haru nodded.  “We’re not leaving them here.”

“But what are you gonna do with them at home?”

“Hang them in our apartment.”  _What else are you supposed to do with them?_

“Haru!  You can’t hang those where people will see!”

The elevator arrived at the eighth floor.  Rin dug his key from his pocket as they headed for their door.

Haru carried the poster.  “We’re on a billboard in Shibuya.”

Rin glared at him over his shoulder as he unlocked the door.  “You _know_ which one I’m talking about.”

 _I like that picture of us_.  They toed off their shoes in the entryway.  “I wasn’t suggesting we hang it in the kitchen, Rin.”  In their bedroom, Haru contemplated the different walls and the lighting.  “This one’s OK by the beds?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

Haru hung the picture on the wall across from their beds, beneath the AC unit.  It looked nice with the daylight coming in from the balcony; the blue of the Aquatic Centre shimmered like water.  That done, he sat down on the edge of his bed, placing his bag from the clinic in the drawer of his nightstand. 

Rin’s face was red as he rounded the beds, doing the same.  He straightened, rubbing the back of his neck.  “You, uh…wanna play it by ear for later?  Tonight or…whenever.”

Haru’s heart picked up at the thought, warmth gathering in his cheeks.  “That sounds good.”

Rin swallowed and looked away, nodding.

Haru twisted on the bed, facing his lover.  “It’s OK, Rin.  I’m nervous too.”

Rin looked at him in surprise, his eyes widened.  “You are?”

“It’d be weird if we weren’t, I think.”  _For our first time together_.

“ _Haru_.”  Rin’s face softened, his eyes shining with love as he climbed onto the bed—

Haru’s back hit the mattress, his arms full of Rin as they went down in a heap.

“Love you,” Rin whispered into his hair.

Haru’s breath hitched.  _Rin_ …  He slipped his hands beneath Rin’s sweatshirt, holding his lover close.

Rin initiated the kiss; it lingered sweetly against Haru’s lips when they broke apart to breathe.  Above him, Rin was smiling, his cheeks still stained pink.

“I can’t wait to be with you,” Rin murmured.

Haru exhaled hard.  He tightened his arms and rolled them, putting Rin underneath.  “Let’s skip the photo shoot.”

“Haru…”  Rin laughed, prodding him in the side with a thumb.  “Aren’t you the patient one?”

“How am I the patient one?” 

Rin’s hands threaded into Haru’s hair, carding warmly through the strands and sending pleasant shivers down Haru’s spine.  “With everything but water, I guess.”

“That’s right.”  Haru ducked his head, working his mouth lightly along Rin’s jaw.  He could feel Rin’s steady, slightly elevated pulse against his lips.  “You’re better than water, Rin.  How do I stand a chance when you say you want me?”

Rin hummed in his throat beneath Haru’s kisses.  “Fine with me, Haru.  Will you be giving Tsuchiya-san our regrets?”

 _Damnit_.  Haru lifted his head, meeting the mirth and pleasure in Rin’s eyes.

“There’ll be time,” Rin murmured, cupping his face and coaxing him to another kiss.

-x-

Japan House was at the _Cidade das Artes_ , in the heart of Barra da Tijuca _._   As the bus pulled into the parking lot, Haru stared wide-eyed out the window.  The open-air structure had three floors—a contrast of sharp, jutting angles and gentle curves with ramps, staircases, and thin columns—all situated on a diamond of grass with reflecting pools that sparkled in the sun.

Rin leaned against his back.  “I bet that Architecture degree is looking pretty good right now.”

 _Mn_.  Haru pressed his lips, not denying it.  He reached for his camera case as Rin chuckled, kissing him on the cheek.

As soon as they got off the bus, Haru headed for the reflecting pools, framing the building with the rippling water in front.  _It would only be better with waterfalls.  …Or filled with water_.  Haru inhaled and snapped a couple of shots.  _A three-story pool_ —

“Haru, we gotta go.”  Rin jabbed his thumb towards the entrance, where the rest of the team was headed. 

Haru reluctantly lowered his camera.  “Rin, of all the pools I’ve ever imagined, I’ve never been _free_ until this moment.”

“Oh boy.”  Rin flicked his eyes skyward, taking Haru by the arm.  They were both wearing short-sleeve Team Japan T-shirts with their black warmup pants.  Rin carried a backpack, the strap slung over one shoulder, for the items Director Kaya had asked them to bring.

“Why can’t I add glass walls and fill that with water?”

“That’s…a lot of water.  Probably Physics.”

_Nn.  I hate Physics.  Unless it’s water physics._

The entrance was on the first floor in the shadow of the building, marked by a white and red banner that read _Tokyo 2020 Japan House_ with the Tokyo 2020 emblems for the Olympics and Paralympics.  Left of the banner was the Japanese flag, two JOC flags, and a flag bearing the green gingko leaf symbol for Tokyo Metropolis.  

Off to the right, they went through a security checkpoint on a walkway between two shallow pools.  Haru tugged on the neck of his T-shirt, suddenly parched.  _I haven’t gotten to swim at all today.  Why didn’t I at least sit in the bath this morning?_

Rin poked him in the arm with a water bottle. 

 _Thanks_.  Haru gestured with a tilt of his head, accepting the bottle and opening it. 

Rin smiled as he drank.

They trailed their teammates, coming to wall-sized display boards, the first of which bore the header _Descrição dos Jogos Olímpicos de Tokyo 2020._ In Portuguese and English (with French and Japanese in smaller text below), the display welcomed the world to Tokyo 2020 with the Games Vision:

_[Sport has the power to change the world and our future._

_The Tokyo 2020 Games will bring positive reform to the world by building on three core concepts:_

_Striving for your personal best (Achieving Personal Best)_

_Accepting one another (Unity in Diversity)_

_Passing on the Legacy for the future (Connecting to Tomorrow)]_

The space beyond opened up to an exhibition hall.  To the right was a _Hina Matsuri_ display well over two meters tall and several meters wide, filled with colorful Girls’ Day dolls and flowers.  Past that, volunteers were handing out bags of tourist materials while a few of Haru’s teammates snuck towards the line for the _sake_ tasting station. 

In a large glass case, there was a miniature to-scale model of the new national stadium to be built in Shinjuku.  Haru could already imagine standing under the fireworks with Rin at the opening ceremony four years from now.  If only they’d included a model of the new Olympics Aquatic Centre that was supposed to be built near Tatsumi.  He’d tried to get a glimpse of the place months before—one of those times he was by himself, thinking of Rin—but there was nothing to see except a white temporary wall surrounding the construction site.

“ _Oi_ , Haruka!”  Takara waved him over from another exhibit.  She was standing on a map of Tokyo in front of a large video screen.  There was a row of green squares on the floor with place names like _Asakusa, Shibuya, Odaiba,_ and _Tokyo Skytree_.  “Here.”  She maneuvered him by the shoulders until he was standing on the _Shibuya_ square.

The screen switched to a video of the Shibuya crossing under pristine bright blue skies.  On the left, atop one of the main buildings, was his billboard with Rin. 

Rin sighed behind him while Takara laughed. 

“What?  You’re famous.  Enjoy it.”

Seeing home made Haru nostalgic, a lump forming in his throat.  _I’ve been gone for so long._  

“Maekawa-sensei, can I eat these?”  Momo was one exhibit over. 

“It’s plastic, Momotarou-kun.”

Haru left the video, joining Momo in front of a tall display case of clear glass, filled with life-like plastic replicas of all kinds of Japanese foods.  His mouth started to water just from looking.  When he found _it_ , he almost pressed his nose to the glass.  The _miso-_ glazed _saba_ taunted him; it was a thick cut, perfectly golden brown, with flecks of julienned ginger…  At the end of this week, he’d be home.  He could make all the _saba no miso ni_ he wanted, and he could paint again, sit in the _ofuro_ , see Makoto, and use a civilized toilet.

Haru knew when Rin joined him.  Even with all of their teammates around, he could pick out Rin’s footsteps.  Haru tore his eyes from the fish, meeting Rin’s gaze…and the smile on Rin’s face—small and warm—was a reminder of Rin’s promise, that if he didn’t want to go to Paris for the World Cup, it was OK.  But with the reassurance came turmoil.

As much as Haru knew he needed space and quiet and a break from traveling…  _I want to go to Paris with you_.  Of all of the World Cup locations, Paris was the place he most wanted to see with Rin.  –Not because of any swimming venue or event, but because of a phone call Haru took while gazing at the departures board at _Charles de Gaulle_ airport… _when you first told me you dreamt about our family_.  That moment opened his eyes to a whole new dream and set of possibilities, waking a longing inside him that was fiercer than his homesickness.  A few days in Paris wasn’t going to further that dream specifically, but it was a city famous for love.  How could he pass up the chance to romance his _sort-of_ fiancé, especially with the rule not in play?

Rin quirked a brow, scarlet eyes flicking over his face.  He smiled and poked Haru in the forehead.  “There’s a lot going on in there.”

Haru nodded.  “I need water time.”

Rin’s face softened.  He brushed a section of hair from Haru’s eyes.  “After this?  We can go to the pool or you can sit in the bath.  Whatever you want, Haru.”

 _Rin…_   Haru drew a slow breath.

The sound of a shutter diverted their attention.  Haru looked over, not surprised to find Haseda on the other side of the lens.    

“Hey guys.”  She lowered the camera and waved.  Haseda’s reddish-brown hair was tamed behind a sports headband.  She wore a black athletic top with white lines and slashes of gray over black pants.  “Gorgeous day for a photo shoot.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.

“Sorry to change everything up at the last minute, but Director Kaya will explain when she gets here.  She blames me of course.”  Haseda winked.  “See you soon!”  She headed off, searching for new victims for her omnipresent lens.

Haru exchanged a glance with Rin.  They kept going, wandering from one exhibit to the next.  There was a station offering water from the Ogouchi Reservoir in Tokyo, a cutaway of a vibrant blue Toyota car powered by a fuel cell, a display of Ajinomoto food products for athletes, and mannikins wearing the different variations of their Rio uniforms.

A few minutes later, Maekawa and Akagi started rounding up the team.  The pathway narrowed again between two shallow reflecting pools, bringing them to a stage with the Tokyo 2020 symbols for a backdrop and a seating area out front. 

Multiple video cameras were aimed at the stage; Haseda was towards the front and to the side, taking test shots.  Members of the Japanese media were present, Haru and Rin getting roped into impromptu questions, much like in the Mixed Zone last night.

At promptly 10am, with all of the team gathered, the screens to either side of the stage came alive, showing a replay of the medley heats from Friday morning.  Haru squeezed Rin’s hand as they watched, listening to the cheering and the excited announcers’ voices in English and Portuguese covering Team Japan’s prelim race with Momo on back, Captain Ikehara on breast, Kawamura on fly, and Rin bringing home a first-place finish as anchor.  Rin got a little misty-eyed, Haru smiling.  _I loved watching you swim that race._

As the replay concluded, Kawamura was led onstage by JOC and JASF officials.  The team cheered, their applause and whistles filling the cavernous room.  Kawamura smiled, looking a tad emotional as he nodded in acknowledgement of the accolades. 

Saeki, from the JOC Executive Board, took the microphone.  “Ladies and gentlemen, it is the privilege of the Japanese Olympic Committee to award the silver medal in the Rio 2016 men’s four-by-one hundred medley relay to Kawamura Ryouta-kun, for his extraordinary contribution in the preliminary round.”

The JOC President and the JASF Director came onstage to loud cheering.  A JASF official held the tray as the JOC President lifted the gleaming silver medal and looped the multi-colored lanyard over Kawamura’s head.  They shook hands, Kawamura blinking as though on the verge of tears as he clasped the medal.  He got the Rio emblem from the JASF Director, then posed for pictures with the officials.

“Kawamura-kun!”  “Ryouta!!”

Otani was waving a small Japanese flag in the front row and likely crying given the way she was leaning on Sada’s arm.  “Kawamura-kun!!”

Saeki returned to the microphone.  “At this time, I’d like to welcome to the stage the rest of the men’s preliminary relay team.  Mikoshiba Momotarou-kun, Captain Ikehara Yoshino, Matsuoka Rin-kun.”

“Damnit,” Rin muttered. 

Haru grabbed Rin’s silver medal from the backpack, slipping it over his lover’s head.  “You got this.”

Rin blushed, but headed off towards the stage, leaving Haru with the backpack. 

As the relay team members gathered on stage, exchanging handshakes with the JOC President and JASF Director, Haru took out his camera.  He snapped a few test shots, adjusted his settings, and took a few more.  Even with all of the daylight flooding in and shadows from overhead structure, the stage was lit perfectly.  Rin glowed through Haru’s lens, grinning as he posed with his teammates.  _And people wonder why I’m always looking at you in all the pictures when we pose together…_   Haru smiled to himself, snapping frame after frame.

After the official photos, media flocked to the stage to interview the four medalists and the JOC and JASF personnel. 

“Haruka.”

Haru lowered his camera as Takara came over, fastening herself onto his left arm.

“You’re not jealous?  Being down here instead of up there?”

Haru shook his head.  “I had my moment last night.”  He lifted a brow, looking at her.  “You’re jealous?”

Takara sighed, laying her head on his shoulder.  “ _So_ jealous.  I don’t have a single medal to take home and Kawamura’s got two.”

“Medal counts weren’t stopping you from kissing Yamazaki the other day.”

She chuckled.  “True.  I just—”  Takara stopped abruptly and smirked.  “ _Haruka_.  There’s a shark in your bed, hmm?”

Haru’s face heated.  He shrugged her off, tugging the neck of his T-shirt to cover the not-quite-faded mark. 

She laughed musically, leaning in to kiss his cheek.  “I won’t tell,” she whispered, her eyes warm with mirth as she scampered off.

Haru pressed his lips.  _Can we get to the makeup part already?_

-x-

Haru carried the backpack as they rode an escalator upstairs.  Team obligations were done for the day with the ceremony’s conclusion.  An optional reception was to be held in the hospitality hall on the second floor; afterwards, he and Rin were due to meet Director Kaya and Haseda for their photoshoot.  The sign at the top of the escalator read _Sushi_.  Haru followed the arrow. 

The sushi bar was closed, but he smelled mouthwatering aromas coming from propped-open glass doors nearby.  Inside, the hospitality hall had seating with white tablecloths and stunning views of Rio through floor-to-ceiling windows.  Haru headed straight to the buffet, where several of his teammates were already gushing over familiar foods from home.

Rin tugged on the backpack.  “I’ll go find us seats.”

Haru nodded, catching the smile on his lover’s face before he turned back to the food. 

At a table near the windows, Haru ate his first authentically Japanese meal since May, complete with hot green tea.  The grilled fish melted on his tongue, the white rice was perfectly cooked, and the pickled vegetables were bright and sour. 

Rin, his plate already finished, watched Haru eat with a look of mild envy as he swirled the remaining tea in his cup.

Haru lowered his chopsticks.  “What?”

Rin smiled, sipping his tea.  “Would you and the food like to be alone?”

Haru cut another sliver of fish, gathering a bit of rice from his bowl, and ate both together.  “I’d rather eat your cooking, Rin.  Or have you eat mine.”

“Nn.”  Rin glanced away, blushing faintly.  “Wanna make a date of it?  Sometime next week, before Paris?”

“Sure.  You cook dinner.  I’ll cook breakfast.”

The color in Rin’s cheeks deepened.  “Deal.”  He sat back, his expression thoughtful.  “We’ll probably have to save the serious apartment hunting until September.  With Sousuke’s surgery on top of everything else, it’ll be pretty busy right when we get home.”

“Fine with me.  We can take our time and find a good place.”  Haru traded his chopsticks for his tea cup.  “Did you like the realtor you used?”

“Yeah, it was an easy company to work with.”

 _Good, because I didn’t like mine._ “Let’s use them.”

“Sure.  I can at least start them looking.  We should make a list.”

“Oven, separate toilet room, one bed.”  _List done._

Rin laughed.  “Close to campus, or at least to a pool.”

“That’s implied, Rin.”

“Space for your painting.”

“I can use the studio on campus if I have to.”

Rin lowered his voice.  “Not if you’re painting _me_ …”

Haru choked on a sip of tea.  He set the cup down, wiping his mouth with a napkin.  _I can’t handle you being frisky, Rin.  Not even a little._

Rin’s smile was sly as he returned to his tea.

Haru had just finished eating when Director Kaya and Haseda found them.

“Morning, guys!”  Director Kaya stifled a yawn as she sat down, a mug of coffee in hand.  She was dressed in street clothes rather than company apparel, oddly chipper for the dark circles beneath her eyes.  Her strawberry-blond hair was pulled into a sleek ponytail.

“Director.”  They dipped their heads in greeting.

“Sorry to completely change the plan.  I’m sure you were looking forward to being waxed and coated in bronzer, so I know this must be a disappointment.”  She winked.

Rin coughed lightly. 

Kaya pulled a tablet from her bag.  “It’s all Haseda’s fault.  When she sent this over last night—” she pulled up the photo of Rin kissing Haru’s wrist behind the blocks “—I had to scrap the whole thing.”

Next to her, Haseda shrugged.

“Which brings me to a key question—are you opposed to the world knowing you’re in love?”

Haru blinked, feeling the pleasant weight of the bracelet on his wrist.  He exchanged a glance with Rin, who looked equally puzzled.

“Isn’t it a little late to be shy about that?” Rin asked.

_After Barcelona, Málaga, everything here in Rio…_

“What we have in mind is more emotional and editorial rather than commercial,” Kaya said.  “Tsuchiya-san gave us the go-ahead, but you two have the final say.”

 _I still don’t understand the question_.  _There’s already pictures of us kissing in the stands…_   “Nothing…weird, right?”

“No, no, of course not!”  Kaya waved a hand.  “Believe me, Tsuchiya-san will have our heads if we come back with more sunset shots.  We’ll show you what we mean, and you can decide after you’ve seen the proofs.  We’ll take normal shots too.”

“That’s fine with me,” Haru said.

“Sure.”  Rin was blushing faintly.

“Great!  Are you ready for makeup?  We’ll head downstairs.”

Director Kaya led them back to the first floor.  They turned the opposite way from the exhibits, towards another narrow walkway framed by shallow pools.  A sign read _Authorized Personnel Only_ in English and Portuguese, with a security guard standing nearby.

Director Kaya presented credentials and they were waved through.  They rounded a corner and Haru inhaled at the sight of lights, reflectors, and other equipment aimed at one of the water features. 

“We’ll be _in_ the water?”

Kaya winked at him.  “I knew you’d approve, Nanase-kun.  While we do the final prep work, we’ll leave you in the very capable hands of Furutani-san and Arita-san.” 

Their makeup artist and hair stylist from Málaga were standing outside of a temporary cabana adjacent to the makeshift studio. 

“Hi again,” Arita said.  “Ready for haircuts?”

“Ah.”  Haru nodded.

Haru got his hair trimmed while Furutani worked on Rin’s eyebrows.  _I forgot about that fun part…_   They switched, Haru enduring the plucking while Arita evened out Rin’s hair.

When Furutani finally got out his makeup case, Haru’s face grew hot.  “We’ll be shirtless, right?”

“Definitely for some of the pictures.”

One chair over, Rin flushed bright red.

“Can you, um…?”  He turned his head, pushing the neck of his T-shirt aside.

“Sure thing, Nanase-kun.”  Furutani was completely unfazed.  “Go ahead and take off your shirt.  Any other concerns?”

Haru stripped off the garment, relieved.  “Don’t think so.”

Thirty minutes later, they were made up and powdered, their hair sticky with plenty of sea-salt hair spray.  Haru headed out first in his _sakura_ jammers, Rin following in his leg skins. 

“Oh, you both look great!”  Director Kaya met them at the edge of the shallow pool.

“Do you want us to take these off?” Haru asked, lifting his right wrist to show her the bracelet.

“No, those’ll be fine for today.  We’ll start with the jackets.”

An assistant brought over their white _sakura_ jackets, freshly steamed. 

“Haseda-san?”

“Ready.”  Haseda waved them over.  “I want you there.”  She pointed at the middle of the pool.  “Give me straight on so I can test the lighting.”

Haru slipped his arms into his sleeves and waded out into the ankle deep, cool water.  It felt heavenly on his toes.  The bottom of the pool had a rough non-slick surface like a start block.

“Here?” he asked.  Behind them was another walkway and pool, then daylight and Rio.

“Yup, right there.”  Haseda snapped a couple shots, checked them, and had her assistants make a few adjustments to the lighting.

When she finally seemed satisfied, Haseda gave Director Kaya a thumbs-up.  “Music please.”

“You got it.”  Director Kaya tapped her phone and music came on—instrumental, flowing, and airy—from nearby speakers.

“Sweet and easy, guys,” Haseda said.  “This is just a warmup.”

Haru relaxed as Haseda directed them through a series of poses.  He especially liked it anytime Rin’s arm was around his shoulder, or their fingers were interlaced, or when he was allowed to look at Rin instead of the camera.  It was different from Málaga.  Haseda didn’t ask for fierce or irritated.  It was still sexy, but in subtler ways. 

Rin’s fingertips were along the edge of his jaw, Haru looking over his shoulder at his lover when Haseda called it.

“Alright, we got those.”

_Nn.  I could look at you like this all day._

Rin smiled.

“Director?”  Haseda adjusted settings on her camera.

“Yup.”  Kaya reached into her bag. 

“The next shots will be sitting down.  Nanase-kun, your left side to me, Matsuoka-kun, your right.  Facing each other, knees bent, legs in front.  Oh, and lose the jackets, please.”

An assistant waded out to take their jackets.

Haru and Rin sat down in the shallow water. 

“A little closer.  Your legs can be tangled.  As far as over or under, whatever’s comfortable.”

They were almost close enough to embrace when Haseda was done positioning them.  The music changed to the sound of steady falling rain.  Haru, unwillingly, flashed back to São Paulo—to a kid’s pool and tears.  He sobered in an instant, swallowing hard.  The look on Rin’s face wasn’t much different.  Haru rubbed his left wrist absently.  Rin reached for his hand—

The flash startled them both. 

“Sorry, guys,” Haseda said.  “Props, please.”

“Right here.”  Director Kaya handed something to an assistant.

The man waded out, handing the object to Rin.

Haru went cold at the sight of the roll of tape in Rin’s hand.  An entire month’s worth of painful memories gathered in his chest. 

Rin closed his eyes, a tremor going through his body as he gripped the tape.

“Matsuoka-kun, I’d like you to tape Nanase-kun’s wrist.  No further direction.  Just let it flow.”

_Rin…_

“I…I haven’t done this in a while,” Rin said quietly.

“I know.”  Haseda’s voice was gentle.  “Trust us on this, alright?”

“Rin,” Haru whispered, reaching for his lover’s face, makeup be damned.  “It’s OK.”  _If you don’t want to do this…_

“Haru, I’ve never been so glad this was over…”  Rin lifted the roll, drawing out the required length and tearing it with his teeth.  He split the tape down the center.  “Gimme.”

Haru offered his left wrist, his gaze held captive by the raw emotion in Rin’s eyes as he positioned the first strip.  In comparison, the flashes were barely noticeable.

Rin smoothed the tape into place, working carefully around the joint.  He exhaled.  “Not too tight?”

“No.”

Rin started in on the second piece, below the first.

Haru swallowed.  “You know…”

Rin glanced up at him. 

“The longer we compete…it’s almost inevitable we’ll have to do this again.”  _How many athletes retire because they want to?  Versus, because their bodies can’t take it anymore?_

Rin drew a slow breath.  “I know.”  He finished the second strip and went back to the roll of tape for another piece.

The cool water rippled around their hips and ankles.

“I’m not scared, Rin,” Haru whispered.  “I was the first time, but…”  _I thought I’d lost everything, in an instant._

Rin met his gaze.

“I’m not anymore.”  _Because we got through it._   “I know what’s fragile and what’s not.”

“Haru…”  Rin’s eyes started to gleam.

“So next time—”  Haru clutched Rin’s fingers, the piece of tape still dangling from his hand, “—I know we’ll get through that, too.”  _We can handle anything together._

Rin sniffed hard, his eyes awash with moisture.  “ _Damnit_.  Let me do this before you make me cry.”

Haru smiled, letting Rin cover the two strips on his wrist with the final, wider piece—

Then Rin was pulling him closer, pressing his lips where Haru’s pulse throbbed against the tape.  Haru’s heart did that thing in his chest, warmth gathering in his eyes.  Thin trails spilled down the curve of Rin’s face as he lifted his head. 

Haru laced their fingers together, using his other hand to thumb away a tear.  He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching.  “You’re the one shining now.”

“ _Oi!_   Do _not_ make references to my sixth grade essay—”

“Too late,” Haru murmured, kissing him lightly.

Rin kissed him back, his sigh hanging in the air between them as they parted.  “You picked a hell of a time to tell me all that,” he muttered.  His hand curled around the back of Haru’s neck, holding them together.

“I just said what I was thinking.”

“I know.”  Rin’s eyes softened.  “And that makes it so much worse.”

Haru’s smile grew.  “Love you.”

“Love you,” Rin whispered.

They stayed like that, holding each other’s gazes for a moment longer—

“Perfect.  That’s a wrap,” Haseda said.

“Oh thank God,” Kaya said.  “Where’s that tissue box?”

Haru wrapped both arms around Rin, sagging into his lover’s arms.  “Haseda-san’s kind of evil.”

Rin chuckled, hugging him back.  “Yeah, no shit.”

After another kiss, they untangled themselves and got up.  Haseda was the only dry-eyed member of the crew.  Everyone else was clutching tissues or passing the box around, including the assistants coming to them with towels.

Haru waded to the side and stepped out, drying off. 

Director Kaya joined them, dabbing at reddened eyes.  “You guys, that was…  Wow, I—”

“She would like to say that you surpassed our wildest expectations,” Haseda said.  “I whole-heartedly agree.”

Haru glanced around at the sniffling crew and back to Haseda.  “Everyone else is…”

“I’ve trained myself not to get emotional when I shoot.  Crying is for the editing room.”

_That’s really great advice._

“Alright, alright.”  Kaya fanned her face.  “We’ll get this packed up.  You guys change and take a break.  You brought your square legs and street clothes like I asked, right?”

They nodded.  “Yeah,” Rin said.

Haru inhaled.  “Does this mean we’re gonna be shooting in a real pool next?”

Kaya smiled.  “Not exactly shooting.  Swimming, though?  Yes.”

-x-

Haru scrubbed his face clean in the bathroom with the makeup remover Furutani provided.

“It was waterproof on purpose,” Rin muttered from one sink over.

“I was the one crying last time.”

“True.”

Haru dried off with a towel.  He wanted to wash the sea-salt hairspray out of his hair, but Director Kaya promised there would be showers when they got to the pool.  He was wearing his blue and green square legs under straight-cut black pants.  His T-shirt was blue with an iridescent mackerel on the front.  If he got cold later, he had a light gray jacket tucked into their backpack.

Rin, meanwhile, wore slim pants in gunmetal gray, a maroon tank top, and an unbuttoned overshirt with a gray and white checkered pattern and the sleeves rolled up.  He leaned towards the mirror, fixing a couple strands of hair.

Haru pressed his lips, perusing his lover.  _You look good with clothes; you look good without clothes..._

Rin caught him looking and quirked a brow.  “Hm?”

“Nothing.”

Rin smirked.  “A picture’ll last longer, Haru.”

 _I’m drawing you in my head._   Haru finished up, Rin shouldering the backpack as they left the restroom.

“How long do we have?” Haru asked.

Rin checked his phone.  “Twenty minutes?  Director Kaya said to meet them out front.”  He shrugged.  “Guess we can check out some of the exhibits we missed?”

“OK.”

They wandered back towards the main hall.  It was early afternoon and Japan House was open to the public and crowded.  Even here, it was easy to blend in wearing street clothes.  Most of the people were curious about Tokyo 2020, rather than die-hard Japanese fans.

Rounding a corner took them by the stage.  An interview was in progress, three people seated with microphones clipped to their clothes.  Coach Maekawa was on the left in her Team Japan warmups.  On the right, Haru recognized the two news anchors—one man, one woman—from the internet sports program Takara found.  The man wore a black polo shirt and slacks while the woman wore a red sheath dress.

 _“Coach Maekawa, thanks so much for joining us today_ ,” the woman anchor said in English.

 _“Absolutely my pleasure.  Thanks for having me,”_ Maekawa said.

On the edge of the crowd, Haru spotted Natsumaya Mizuki, Maekawa’s significant other.

Natsumaya noticed them immediately, waving them over.  “Hey, you guys.”  She smiled broadly, light dancing off her earrings and necklace.  She wore leggings with ankle boots, a fiery red tunic, and a short-sleeved jacket, her black hair long and loose.

Haru dipped his head as they joined her.  “Natsumaya-san.”

“Congrats again on the relay!  How was your photoshoot with Moriko?”

“Thanks.  It was…good,” Haru said.

Natsumaya laughed.  “Sounds about right.”  She checked her watch.  “She was just with you, right?  Have you seen her since?”  She tugged on a length of hair before flipping it over her shoulder.

“It’s been a few minutes,” Rin said.

Natsumaya drew a deep breath, taking out her phone.

“Mizuki!”  Haseda appeared breathless, camera in hand.  “Sorry, sorry.”

The two women embraced tightly, kissing each other’s cheeks. 

“You’re not late.  I’m just, ahhh.”  Natsumaya stepped back, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle from her clothes.

“Understandably.”  Haseda smiled.  “You ready for this?”

“Ready?  I’ve been ready for a decade and I still can’t believe I’m doing this.”

The pair hugged again. 

“You got this, babe,” Haseda said.

“Thanks for being here.”

Natsumaya broke away, waving at them with a giddy, anxious grin before she threaded her way towards the stage.

Haseda winked at Haru and Rin, moving along the edge of the crowd towards the right side of the stage. 

“I thought she was acting weird,” Haru murmured.

Rin caught his hand.  “We can probably see better from over there.”  He nodded in the direction Haseda went.

They headed over as the interview continued.

“ _It’s been amazing working with the team in the leadup as well as here in Rio_ ,” Maekawa said.  “ _I’ve been privileged to focus on our first-time Olympians; as you know, we’ve had a stellar group of swimmers this year.  It’s really exciting to think about the possibilities four years from now._ ”

The woman anchor shuffled her talking cards.  “ _Speaking of Tokyo 2020, what are your plans, Maekawa-san?_ ”

_“My contract with Koutei University extends through 2020 and I’m hoping I’ll have the opportunity to renew it further.”_

Maekawa and the sports anchors chatted about Koutei and Coach Fujino for a couple questions and answers. 

“ _Alright, enough business talk_.”  The woman shifted forward in her chair.  “ _On the personal front, I—we—_ ” she nodded at her fellow anchor “— _understand you have someone special here with you_.”

“ _Yes, my partner Mizuki_.”  Maekawa had been smiling before, but she lit up as she waved to Natsumaya in the crowd.  “ _It wouldn’t feel like the Olympics without her here with me_.”

The news anchors glanced at each other.  “ _Natsumaya-san, won’t you join us?_ ”  The man waved her up, the crowd cheering as Natsumaya strode up the stairs and across the stage. 

Two assistants trailed her, one with an extra chair and the other with a microphone to clip onto her collar.

“Crashing my interview again, Mizuki?” Maekawa asked in Japanese.

Natsumaya leaned down towards her, kissing her cheek.  “You know you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The women grinned at each other as Natsumaya sat down and adjusted the lapel of her jacket. 

_“Natsumaya-san, you took silver in the marathon in Athens and gold back in Sydney.”_

_“That’s right,”_ Natsumaya said.

_“And what have you been up to since?”_

_“I coach track and field at Todai.  I couldn’t be that far away from Kotone.  It’s an incredible job—the students and faculty are wonderful to work with.  I’m thrilled that the team’s well-represented here in Rio.”_

“Her English is really good,” Haru murmured.

Rin nodded.

“Natsumaya-sensei!!”  The shout came from the crowd, followed by cheering.

Natsumaya waved.

 _“Sounds like they agree!”_   The woman anchor switched cards again, settling back in her chair.  _“Now, if you don’t mind a sensitive topic…  The two of you have been together since Sydney, but only made your relationship public well after London.”_

The crowd quieted, Maekawa nodding.  _“The world was a much different place sixteen years ago.  There were too many risks, back then.”_

Natsumaya took her hand.  _“It’s exciting to see how things are slowly changing—and there’s still a long way to go—but every small step is something.”_

Maekawa’s face was full of warmth as she looked at her partner.  _“Some things we’ve been hoping for have finally started to take shape.”_   She returned her attention to the sports anchors.  _“We’re not holding our breath by any means.  But, even the next four years could bring some incredible changes.”_

Natsumaya drew a deep breath.  _“That said, we’ve done enough waiting, Kotone.”_   She got up.

Maekawa’s eyes went wide.  “Mizuki…”

The crowd went wild with cheering as Natsumaya got down on one knee and pulled a small box from the pocket of her jacket.

Haru was barely breathing and Rin was squeezing his hand so hard his fingers were going numb—

_“Kotone, I can’t imagine a single moment of my life without you.  We’ve talked about this before; let’s finally do it.”_

Maekawa had one hand over her mouth.  Tears were already streaking down her cheeks. 

_“Let’s have that wedding we always dreamed of.  I know Shibuya isn’t everything we want yet, but until then...  Koto-chan, will you be mine and let me be yours for the rest of our lives?”_

Squeals, whistles, and loud cheers came from the crowd, drowning out whatever Maekawa said, but her nod was unmistakable as she got up, pulling Natsumaya to her feet.  The applause surged as the couple embraced and kissed, grinning at each other through their tears.  At length, they separated enough for Natsumaya to slide the ring onto Maekawa’s left hand.

Beside Haru, Rin was blinking back tears.  Haru tugged him close, kissing Rin’s knuckles—his ring finger in particular.  _Someday…_

Rin crashed into him, hugging him tight.  Haru squeezed back.

On stage, an assistant brought out a box of tissues that the anchors made use of as Maekawa and Natsumaya finally settled back into their chairs.

 _“Now that’s what I call a rock.  You’ll be lighting the whole city with that ring.”_   The woman anchor offered the tissue box.

Natsumaya grabbed tissues for her and Maekawa.  _“When you’ve been planning for ten years, you can buy a big rock.”_

Rin sighed, his breath warm and moist against Haru’s neck. 

Haru kissed his cheek.  “That fit your idea of a proper proposal, Rin?”

“ _Tch_.  Don’t you dare, Haru.”

He smiled.  _I’d better get going on that ring._

-x-

Haseda was on-time to their curb-side rendezvous, despite Haru and Rin last seeing her trapped in a bear hug with Maekawa and her fiancée.  She arrived with her camera case slung over one shoulder and her eyes slightly red.  “Breaking my own rule,” she said, smiling as she loaded her equipment into the back of the van.

“Great, we’re all here!”  Director Kaya clapped her hands together.  “Alright, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, let’s get going.  I’ll explain along the way.”

Haru and Rin climbed into the back seat, sitting together with their hands interlaced. 

Director Kaya and Haseda took the seats in the middle while the driver started the engine.  The vehicle pulled out of the parking lot and merged onto the _Av. das Américas_ , heading east.

Kaya twisted in her chair to look at them both.  “About your water platform, Nanase-kun.  I wanted to take you behind the wall—remember I sent you those articles?”

Haru nodded.

“Well, the JOC said no for safety reasons—partly because I refused an armed police escort.”

“Nothing says _yoroshiku_ like an armed guy in a bulletproof vest,” Haseda said.

Kaya winced.  “Yeah.  But, I did get clearance to take you to Rocinha, one of Rio’s largest _favelas_.  We’ll start out at the _Complexo Esportivo da Rocinha._   It’s a sporting complex that was just finished in 2010.  They have a twenty-five meter pool—”

 _Pool._   Haru perked up immediately.

“We’re meeting up with the local swim team.  You’ll be able to swim with the kids—sort of like what you did back in Mesa, Nanase-kun.”

“Really?”  Aside from muddling through the language barrier, he’d had a lot of fun swimming with Luis and the other kids in Arizona.  But Haru’s eagerness was tempered as he felt the way Rin stilled beside him through their joined hands.

“Our guide will be there, too.  She’ll interpret for us, though it’ll be English and Portuguese.  We’ll spend about an hour at the pool before heading up into Rocinha.  We only have until nightfall.  I promised the JOC we’d head out before dark.”

“Is it that dangerous?” Haru asked.

“The JOC’s always going to be conservative, especially with their gold medalists,” Haseda said.

“The short answer is ‘not right now,’” Kaya said.  “The longer answer is complicated.  But we’ll abide the JOC’s wishes.  Other questions?”

Haru shook his head, glancing at Rin.

“None here,” Rin said.

“Alright, it won’t take long to get there.”  Kaya swiveled forward again.

Haru looked down at their clasped hands.  _You froze up when you saw that picture of me with Luis, too.  Does it remind you of swimming with your dad?_ He lifted his gaze.  “Rin?”

Rin answered with a small smile, squeezing Haru’s fingers.  The tilt of his head was a wordless, _I’m OK, Haru._

Haru sat back, exhaling, his concern only half-assuaged.

-x-

The _Complexo Esportivo da Rocinha_ was a little more than halfway between Barra da Tijuca and Copacabana.  The _AutoEstrada Lagoa-Barra_ cut through a valley between green hills, with the sports center on the south side of the highway—in front of a concrete archway that provided a pedestrian bridge over the road.  To the north, Rocinha climbed the slopes in a sea of colorful, closely packed buildings.

The driver pulled off to the right, parking underneath a curved blue roof bearing the center’s name.  A woman in jeans and a sunset orange shirt was waiting, her hair falling in tight black spirals.  They spoke briefly in Portuguese before the driver turned to Director Kaya.

“ _Obrigada!_ ”  Kaya waved to them in the back.  “This is us!”

Kaya and Haseda got out first, then Haru and Rin extracted themselves from the backseat.  They climbed out into warmth and sunshine, the day heating quickly.  _I wish I had my sunglasses_.  But they were tucked into the backpack Rin carried and it was silly to expend the effort to get them out when they were about to go swimming.

While Kaya and Haseda shook hands with their guide and exchanged pleasantries in a mix of Portuguese and English, Haru glanced at Rin.  He looked a little more at ease now, but Haru couldn’t tell what Rin was thinking or how much of it was effort rather than effortless.

In front of them, a wide staircase led up to the entry gate.  Haru could already hear splashing water and kids’ squeals.  He drew a breath, tugging on the neck of his T-shirt. 

Rin rolled his eyes, smiling more naturally.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”  Kaya waved them over.  “ _We’d like you to meet Marcela Alves.  She’ll be our guide here in Rocinha.”_

Haru went first, offering his hand.  “ _Boa tarde.  Meu nome é Haruka Nanase_.”

Marcela gave him a warm handshake.  She had a scatter of freckles across her nose and both cheeks, sparkling brown eyes, and plenty of smile lines in glowing amber skin.  “ _Muito prazer em conhecê-lo, Senhor Haruka!  Welcome to Rocinha._ ”

Haru dipped his head.  “ _Obrigado_.”

Rin held out his hand.  “ _Rin Matsuoka.  Prazer em conhecê-la, Senhora Alves_.”

“ _Likewise, Senhor Rin_.”  They shook.  “ _Please call me Marcela_.”

Rin nodded.

_“Thank you for coming today.  The kids are going to be so excited that you’re here.”_

_“You left it a surprise?”_ Haseda asked.

 _“Yes.”_   Marcela’s smile was genuine if pained.  _“It’s better this way.  Plans can change very easily around here.”_

 _So no one gets disappointed if we don’t show up._   Haru sobered at the thought.

_“If you’re ready, we can go.  You’ll meet the coaches upstairs.”_

They followed Marcela up to the entry gate where Director Kaya took care of the paperwork and payment.  Past the turnstile, a curved walkway ran between the pool on the left and a soccer field on the right, leading to a white and blue building.  Through the fence on the left, the five-lane, 25m pool shimmered in the sunlight.  Girls and boys of various ages in practice suits were in and around the pool, some swimming laps, others stretching.  Several of the kids used flotation devices.

Near the entrance to the building, they met the coaches, Marcela translating.  An assistant took them to the locker room. 

“Don’t forget your sunscreen and insect repellent.”  Director Kaya waved as they headed inside.  “I promised the JOC.”

Haru and Rin got a few wide-eyed stares and whispers along the way, especially from the kids they passed. 

The locker room was fairly empty, Haru undressing next to Rin and taking out his cap and goggles. 

Rin, stripped down to his black and red square legs, fit their backpack into one of the narrow lockers.  “Shower first?”

Haru followed.  “Rin.”

Rin exhaled, glancing back at him with a small smile.  “I’m OK, Haru.  This’ll be fun.  You liked swimming with the kids in Arizona.”

_Yeah, but…_

Rin looked away.  “Maybe I wouldn’t have picked this, but I can’t run from everything that reminds me of my dad.  So let’s do it.”  His eyes were flinty with determination when their gazes met. 

_Rin…_

Rin’s face softened.  “You didn’t forget already, did you?  I said I wanted to be part of this with you.”

Haru remembered the conversation—at the restaurant in Málaga when he spoke with Director Kaya about clean water.  _I wouldn’t even be here without you, Rin._   _You’re already supporting me, just like you promised._

Rin reached for his hand.  “OK?”

Haru squeezed back.  “Yeah.”

They washed all the sea-salt hairspray and styling products from their hair, applying sunscreen and insect repellent before heading outside to the pool deck where they met Marcela and the coaches.  Haseda was already moving around with her camera, Director Kaya trailing behind her.  Assistants were gathering the kids—maybe thirty or so—behind the start blocks on the opposite end of the pool. 

Haru and Rin followed the coaches to the same location, excited whispers in Portuguese starting up all around them.  There were plenty of parents in attendance as well, hanging out on concrete stands on the south side of the pool, backed by palm trees and other foliage.  Haru couldn’t understand what was said, but several of the adults were pulling out phones and snapping pictures.

The main coach—a man with short black hair and a green and white Rio 2016 T-shirt—stood them in front of the kids.  Haru looked out at a sea of stunned faces as the coach spoke in Portuguese.  He only caught their names and _medalhistas_ and _Japão_ , the rumble of murmurs amongst the kids escalating in volume and becoming loud cheers by the end.  It took a minute or so for the coaches to calm the star-struck kids. 

The main coach said something to Marcela.

“ _You can introduce yourselves_ ,” she said, gesturing towards the kids.

Haru nodded, facing the group.  “ _Meu nome é Haruka Nanase.  Eu só nado livre_.”

Puzzled looks appeared on many of the kids’ faces.

Rin sighed before propping a hand on his hip and offering the kids a smile every bit as dazzling as the best Damien Andrews could come up with.  “ _Meu nome é Rin Matsuoka.  Eu nado borboleta e estilo livre_.  _Prazer em conhecê-los._ ”

The kids beamed in return, responding to Rin in excited Portuguese.  _Show off._ Haru smiled.

The coach turned to the kids again, Marcela hovering close by to translate.

“ _He’s asking what they’d like you to demonstrate_.”

The answers came back in shouts—  “ _Relé!  Relé!_ ”

 _Relay?_   Haru and Rin exchanged a smile.

“ _Livre ou medley?_ ” Rin asked.

_“Medley!”_

“In that case…”  Rin stretched a little, donning his cap and goggles.  “I’m first.”  He tossed Haru a grin.

Haru drew a long breath, warm throughout.  “Ah.”

They headed for the blocks, surrounded by the kids.

-x-

The hour passed swiftly.  After several rounds of relay and a few 50m races (to which Haru and Rin took massive time handicaps but still won), Haru swam free with one group of children while Rin worked with the older kids on fly with the main coach and Marcela’s help translating. 

Rin seemed back in his element now, demonstrating the stroke motions, giving pointers, chatting with the coaches, and cheering the kids on.  He had quite the audience with the moms in the stands, too.  It made Haru happy—watching Rin engaged and enjoying himself, slipping effortlessly into captain-mode and coach.  Several of the kids with Rin were high school aged; Haru felt like he was seeing a piece of their future dream already coming true.

_“Senhor Haruka!”_

He turned his attention back to the group of girls, waiting behind the blocks, and climbed out of the pool.

They ended the hour with Q&A by the start blocks, Marcela translating while Haseda snapped pictures.

The first question was shouted by one of the little boys.  “ _Senhor Haruka, você gosta do senhor Rin?_ ”

The group of kids ‘ohh’ed and giggled.

 _Do I love Rin?_ “ _Sim_ ,” Haru said, smiling and glancing aside.

Rin smiled back.

As another round of giggling subsided, a girl in the back asked, _“E vão se casar?”_

 _“Estas não são perguntas sobre a nata_ _ção!”_   Marcela sighed.  _“They are not asking swimming questions.  They ask if you will get married.”_

“ _Someday_ ,” Rin said, the warmth in Haru’s chest growing.

A boy in front asked the next question.  _“Por que você queria nadar?”_

Marcela translated.  _“Why did you want to swim?”_

Haru looked at Rin, who gestured for him to answer first.  _“I love the water.  I always have.  I’ve been swimming as long as I can remember.  For competition, though, it was my friends who got me into it and inspired me to keep going.”_

Rin’s gaze sweetened with pleasure as Marcela translated.

_“Senhor Rin?”_

Rin drew a breath.  _“For me, it was my dad.  He was a swimmer too.  When I was a kid, he was the one who first taught me how to swim.  I always wanted to be like him.”_

The words took effort—it was obvious to Haru.  He was glad.  _You talked about him, even though it’s not easy for you._

Marcela translated Rin’s reply, the kids watching rapt…except for one boy towards the back of the group.  He was one of the younger ones—maybe eight or nine years old—with blue and white swim shorts.  His face clouded as Marcela spoke, as if all the brightness and life were sucked out of him.  Haru noticed and saw that Rin did too.

They answered several more swimming questions before the coaches rounded up the kids to continue their swim practice. 

_“Obrigado!”  “Obrigada, Senhor Haruka, Senhor Rin!”_

The kids headed back towards the pool, still chattering on excitedly, except for the one boy.  He was over by the fence, by himself.

“ _Senhora Marcela, can we talk to him?_ ” Rin asked.

“ _Yes_.”  Marcela led the way over, Haru trailing Rin.

The boy turned when Marcela called to him.  His face was red and he quickly rubbed his eyes, sniffing hard.

“ _Como é teu nome?_ ” Rin asked.

The boy pressed his lips, looking up at Rin hesitantly.  _“João.”_

_“João, will you tell me why you’re upset?”_

Marcela translated.

João’s eyes filled with fresh liquid.  He replied in a whisper of broken Portuguese.

_“He says he doesn’t have a father.”_

Haru had the air knocked out of him.  _Rin…_

_“It’s not uncommon here—single-mother families.”_

Rin knelt down, eyelevel with the boy.  He drew a breath.  “ _My dad died when I was a kid.  I was your age when it happened._ ”

As Marcela repeated Rin’s words, João blinked, wiping his face as he looked at Rin.  The smallest glimmer of hope entered his eyes.  He responded in Portuguese.

“ _He says, ‘You’re an Olympian and you won a gold medal, even though your father died?_ ’”

A hot lump formed in Haru’s throat.

Rin nodded.  “ _Sim_.”

The boy’s face brightened like the sun, his gaze beaming with hope—

Haru could see the emotions piling up in Rin’s eyes.  He kept it together, though, smiling.  Rin pulled off his goggles and grabbed his swim cap from the waist of his square legs—it was one of his black caps with _SHARK_ in red on the side.  He put the too-large cap on João’s head, placing the goggles around the boy’s neck.  “ _You’ll grow into them, João_.”

As Marcela translated, João’s eyes grew huge.  He broke into a beautiful smile.  “ _Obrigado, Senhor Rin!_ ”

“ _De nada.  Do you want to join your teammates now?_ ”

“ _Sim!_ ”  João ran off with a grin, holding the cap on his head. 

As Rin got back to his feet, Director Kaya came over.  “We’ll meet you guys out front,” she said and started a conversation with Marcela.

Across the pool, João was the center of attention among the boys and girls his age, proudly displaying his new cap and goggles.

Rin looked on silently, his expression pleased, but Haru could only imagine what was going on in his head and in his heart.

“Rin?”  Haru nodded towards the locker rooms.

Rin inhaled.  “Ah.”

Getting back to the building was a process—waving at the kids, shaking parents’ hands—but finally they made it to the locker room, to the last row of lockers—

That was when Rin fell apart.

Haru held the one he loved close.  Rin shook in his arms, warm droplets landing on Haru’s shoulder.

“You did great, Rin,” Haru whispered.

“I…didn’t think there was anything _I_ could do.  Not like you and the water.”  Rin’s voice was broken, labored.  His breath came in hitches between silent sobs.  “I didn’t think I had anything to give.”

Haru’s eyes filled with liquid.  “ _Dummy_ ,” he said, tightening his arms.

-x-

Fifteen minutes later, they were showered and dressed—and freshly coated in insect repellent.  Haru carried the backpack and Rin had a firm grip on his hand as they headed for the exit.  The afternoon was bright, sunny, and clear, and they paused to dig out their sunglasses before joining Director Kaya, Haseda, and their guide Marcela.

“We’re lucky it’s such a nice day,” Rin muttered, sliding the tinted glasses over his still-reddened eyes.

“We could just be pretentious.”  Haru flipped a bit of hair back, donning his shades.

Rin snorted with amusement.  “Haru.”

Instead of another van ride, the five of them headed up a sloping pathway to the footbridge over the highway—the _Passarela da Rocinha_. 

Halfway across, Haru stopped to pull out his camera.  Rin held the backpack while Haru attached the lens and checked his settings.  Hanging his sunglasses from the neck of his T-shirt, he took a few test shots from the bridge, then lifted his sight to the city climbing up into the hills under a perfect blue sky.

 _“You’re a photographer also, Senhor Haruka?”_ Marcela asked.

Haru lowered the camera, meeting the woman’s curious look.  “ _I’m studying_.”

Haseda gave him a thumbs-up.

Marcela’s smile broadened.  “ _This way.  I’ll show you my city._ ”

They stepped off the ramp onto a busy sidewalk, crowded with tiny shops and bars.  Street vendors sold everything from fresh eggs to umbrellas, while people zipped by on motorcycles and scooters.  Laughter and music spilled outside from the storefronts, along with live feeds from Olympic events.  

Rocinha was an explosion of color and sound.  Everywhere, there was something else to see; Haru couldn’t frame the shots fast enough.  They dodged compact trucks and motorcycles as Marcela led the way up a narrow road with a steep pitch.  First floors were given to restaurants and stores with residences rising above in three-to-six story apartments in mint and pastel blue and pale yellow.  No two buildings were alike; each looked like it had been designed and built—or built and then added to—for the exact location where it stood.  Satellite dishes and laundry hung out of windows, while power and telephone lines crisscrossed the alleyway right over their heads.  The utility poles were jumbles of intersecting wires and junction boxes.

“ _There are no underground utilities?_ ” Rin asked.

Marcela shook her head.  “ _Rocinha was built without infrastructure, like other favelas here in Rio.  The founders were freed slaves, soldiers, and others who didn’t have enough money to live in the city.  They built their own homes here instead.  In these hills_.”  She gestured towards the emerald slopes rising above the neighborhood.  “ _Paved roads, electricity, and other services were added later.  Specific to your question, Senhor Rin, it’s very difficult for us when the rains are heavy.  The streets flood and it’s not uncommon for homes to be damaged by storm water_.”

 _Because the water is alive and untamed.  It isn’t safe._   Haru clutched his camera as he caught up, internet and news pictures swirling in his head.  “ _What about the water supply and sanitation?_ ”

_“Rocinha is more fortunate in that regard, compared to other favelas.  But there’s still much to do.”_

They crossed a larger road that switch-backed up the hillside.  The concrete retaining wall on the north side of the street was covered with vibrant ads, murals, and graffiti.  Haru’s eyes went wide at the sight—at whole stories told by spray can and paintbrush by different artists with infinite variations of style.  It was chaotic, organic; it had flow and depth.  He stopped in the middle of the busy sidewalk.  _Why did I ever constrain myself to a small, square canvas?_

Rin draped an arm around his shoulders.  “Your brain just shut down, didn’t it?”

Haru’s awe came out in a whisper.  “It’s so… _free_ …”

Rin chuckled.

The group paused to let him take pictures, Haru moving from one section of the wall to another, capturing layered expressions.  Possibilities formed in his mind—of pools filled with art, of different artists coming together, their styles blending and merging into something entirely new, sparkling beneath crystal clear water.  _It’s loud, I guess_.  Haru smiled to himself.  _But as much as I claim not to like noise…_   He couldn’t help but remember a certain bossy, know-it-all sixth grader who turned his life upside-down.   _You took me from my safe and sterile life to this adventure.  I thought I was free before, but I’ve only really taken flight since I found my dream with you._

Haru lowered the camera, glancing behind him.  Marcela and Director Kaya were chatting further down the road, while Haseda was across the street taking her own photos.  Rin wasn’t far away, perusing the artwork with his hands in his pockets, his frame at ease.  As Haru took Rin’s picture, he felt that stirring again—a yearning he’d first felt on the blocks in Sydney.  Ever since then, he’d encountered it often—at the pool in Norway, stepping off the plane in Casablanca, dancing _samba_ in São Paulo, during the 200 meter free, and now here in Rocinha…  He wanted to see more, experience more—even if that meant forgoing _saba_ and his _ofuro_ , even if he had to be doused in insect repellent and sunscreen to do it.  There were too many sights to see, too many pools he had yet to swim in…  He could handle busy days because Rin’s arms holding him at night were better than water—more soothing and satisfying than hours spent in the bath.

Since Thursday, he’d agonized about this decision, but his heart was no longer torn.  Every bit of him was focused on what he wanted.  _I didn’t need the water to help me decide this time._ “ _Rin_.”

“Hm?”  Rin glanced over, brushing scarlet strands aside as the breeze tugged at his clothes.

“Show me Paris too.”

Crimson eyes blew wide at first, then Rin’s brow knit, everything about him softening.  “ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin came to him, slipping his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “Why do you always pick the oddest times to announce things like that?”

“I just—”

“‘—said what I was thinking.’”  Rin smiled.  “I know.”

-x-

Haru’s fingers were laced with Rin’s as they returned to the group, turning off the main road into a narrow alley and then climbing a set of stairs between several close buildings.  They stopped in front of a brick building with a red door and one window.  While Marcela rang the bell, Haru tried to coax a cat sitting on the seat of a parked motorcycle to look at him for a picture (without success, though he still got a couple of decent shots). 

The door opened; a man in a fluorescent green Brazil football jersey answering.  He and Marcela greeted each other in warm voices and conversed briefly in Portuguese.

“ _Senhor Haruka, Senhor Rin?_ ”  Marcela waved them over.  “ _This is Daniel.  He runs this guest house_.”

“ _It’s a pleasure_ ,” Daniel said in English, extending his hand with a grand smile.  “ _From the swimming this week!  We’ve been cheering for Brazil, of course, but congratulations all the same.  Please come in!_ ”

Haru and Rin were ushered into the house.  The TV was on in the main room, showing one of the Olympic boxing matches. 

“ _We’ve been very full with the Olympics going on.  But you can have a look_.”  Daniel showed them bedrooms with bunkbeds, the kitchen, and the shared bathroom.

All of the rooms were well-lit with daylight and overhead lamps and there were tile floors throughout.  The kitchen had a mid-sized fridge, combination stove and oven, and a microwave; the bathroom with the toilet and shower was adjacent.  The only thing that caught Haru’s attention was the curtain beneath the sink in the kitchen, but he felt awkward asking to look.

“ _It’s alright.  You’re curious.  Many of my guests are_.”  Daniel drew the curtain aside, revealing the plumbing for the sink and the gas tank attached to the stove.  “ _The pipes go outside, but that’s where they stop.  The government promised funds to help us with proper infrastructure, but budget cuts threaten those plans.  Plus, they want to spend a third of the money on a cable car to the top of Rocinha—money that would be better spent on sanitation problems like these_.”

“ _Daniel and I are part of a residential council_ ,” Marcela said.  “ _Our group meets often to discuss these situations and we visit the Ministry to raise issues with them directly_.”

Daniel straightened, letting the curtain fall back into place.  “ _I’ll show you from the roof.  The smell won’t be bad from there_.”

“ _And the view can’t be beat_ ,” Marcela said with a smile.

-x-

It was cool and breezy on the concrete rooftop, the buildings of Rocinha blanketing the hillside down to high-rises in the valley with the beach beyond.  Haru could see the ocean, as well as the pool where they’d swam with the kids earlier.  The roof itself had a small table with chairs, a place for hanging laundry, a satellite dish, and several round blue tanks with a network of tiny white pipes.

Daniel went to one edge of the roof and pointed down.  “ _You can see it here.  The pipes only go that far._ ”

Haru peered over the side with Rin next to him.  In a shadowed alleyway far below, he saw snaking pipes from several nearby buildings come together and simply end in an open sewer.

“ _People get sick easily here because of the sanitation issues.  The kids especially_ ,” Marcela said.

Daniel nodded.  “ _We’re hopeful the funding won’t be cut and that the government will change their mind about the cable car.  We haven’t given up_.”

“ _This is our home.  We’ll fight as long as it takes_.”

 _When I first heard about the water issues, I felt so helpless._   Haru thought back to that morning at training camp at the NTC in May, hearing the warnings, seeing the pictures…  The news articles made the problems seem insurmountable, but it really wasn’t like that at all.  _Difficult and impossible aren’t the same thing._ The strength and passion with which Marcela and Daniel spoke inspired him, filling him with hope and possibilities.

Haru lifted his eyes, looking out over the buildings, all the way to the sea.

Rin took his hand.  “ _You weren’t kidding about the view_ ,” he said to their hosts.  “ _It’s beautiful_.” 

 _Rin._   Haru met his lover’s gaze.  _It means so much that you’re here with me._

Rin’s eyes softened, as if he knew Haru’s thoughts.

There was that shutter sound again—Haseda with her omnipresent lens.

Haru cleared his throat.  “ _What are these tanks?_ ” he asked, gesturing to the ones on the roof.  The same circular blue tanks were on every flat roof as far as he could see.

“ _Ah.  Our water supply_ ,” Daniel said, patting the cover of the nearest tank.  “ _The water is pumped in weekly.  It’s pure at the source, but too many minerals build up going through the pipes, so it isn’t good to drink.  But we use it for all of the plumbing, for the showers, and washing clothes_.” 

The warmth faded from Haru’s limbs as he looked at the tank.  “That’s all for a week?” he said in Japanese.

“ _Does it run out?_ ” Rin asked in English.

“ _I keep reserves—whenever it rains I stock up.  It wouldn’t be good for a guest house to not have water_.”

“ _But it happens_ ,” Marcela said.  “ _Families not having water for part of the week.  That’s when you go see your neighbors.  Everyone helps everyone else here.  We have to_.”

A sour lump formed in Haru’s throat.  The tanks were a little over a meter in diameter, larger than a bathtub, but _still…_   _I’ve lived my life in water_.  Suddenly the bath on their apartment balcony seemed like a luxurious waste.  _Just because I ‘needed’ to sit in the water.  Couldn’t I have gone to the pool downstairs?_   The guilt settled heavy in his stomach.

Rin carried the conversation for a while, asking about other things.  Haru stared out across the city.  Some buildings had several tanks, some had one or none at all.  _In two baths, I can use the same amount of water that has to last an entire family a week?  Captain Ikehara tried to tell me in France.  Why didn’t I get it?_

He didn’t realize how long he’d been standing there in the swirl of his thoughts until Rin touched his arm.

“Haru?”  They were the only ones left on the roof.

Haru inhaled slowly through his nose and turned, walking into Rin’s arms, burying his face in Rin’s shoulder.  “I might never take another bath.”

Rin was quiet for a moment, wrapping him up and holding him.  “OK,” he said finally.

Haru lifted his head.  “OK?” _You’re not gonna argue with me?  Or try to talk me out of it?_

Rin nodded.  “I can tell when you’re being serious.”

_I am serious._

Rin’s expression was soft with compassion, his gaze so warm Haru felt like he could sink in and let go, his heart laid bare. 

Haru slipped his arms around his lover’s waist.  As Rin’s hands carded through his hair, he exhaled, some of the tension leaving his body.

“I’m gonna find you sitting in an empty bath in your swimsuit, aren’t I?”

Haru pursed his lips.  “Probably.”

“Maybe your other water can take up some of the space?”  Rin cocked a brow.  “Would that help?”

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru hugged Rin fiercely, emotion surging through him.  “I love you.”

“Love you.”  Rin squeezed him back, just as tightly.  “We’ll figure it out, Haru.  It’s a promise.”

He could only nod, words failing him.

-x-

They visited with Daniel for a bit longer, even meeting a few of his guests before saying their goodbyes and heading back out into the city.  Haru felt better just holding Rin’s hand.  The support, the promise of working things out together made him feel so much stronger than on his own.

Marcela led the way down a steep staircase, back towards the main road.  They passed another mural, the colors immediately capturing Haru’s attention. 

“Rin, wait.”  He lifted his camera. 

Rin smiled.   “Your battery’s not dead yet?”

Haru checked.  It was getting low.  “I have a spare.”  He framed the art in his viewfinder, backing up for the right lighting.

_“Senhor Haruka!  Senhor Rin!”_

Haru took the shot, straightening as a teenage girl waved from across the street.  She wore a yellow and green T-shirt with a short black skirt and patterned sneakers.  Over one shoulder, she carried a drawstring bag and there was still a faint goggle line around her eyes.

“From the pool?” Rin murmured.

Haru thought hard for a moment.  “Gabriela?”

 _“Vocês lembraram!”_   She broke into a broad smile and dashed over to meet them.  A long string of excited Portuguese followed. 

Haru only recognized a few words.  “ _Casa?”_   He glanced at Rin.

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “ _Casa…família?”_

 _“Sim!  Sim!”_   The girl pointed towards a nearby alleyway leading to a set of brick houses painted in brilliant pastel colors. 

Marcela came to the rescue, Director Kaya and Haseda in tow.  “ _Gabriela_.”

“ _Dona Marcela!_ ”  The two conversed briefly.

Marcela smiled.  “ _She’s inviting you to her house.  She wants to introduce you to her family_.”

“ _É aqui perto_ ,” Gabriela said.

“ _It’s close by_.”

Haru glanced at Director Kaya, who checked her watch. 

Kaya nodded.  “ _We’ve still got time_.”

Haru turned back to the girl and dipped his head.  “ _Por favor_.”

Gabriela let out a muffled squeal and grabbed their arms—one of Haru’s and one of Rin’s.  _“Por aqui, por aqui!_ ”

With Gabriela leading, they entered the narrow alleyway, the path uneven stone and concrete with a bundle of cables running the same direction.  It was only wide enough to walk single file, with buildings hemming them in on either side and birds chirping overhead.  Haru stepped around a cat that was making off with table scraps from a torn trash bag.

They eventually came to a powder blue building with three floors.  Voices and laughter came from the roof, with laundry drying on taut lines overhead.  There was a half-wall surrounding the front porch and entryway, with an orange and white cat perched on top.

Gabriela went running inside.  “ _Mãe!  Pai!_ ”

Haru stayed on the porch with Rin and the cat, since it wouldn’t be polite to just barge in.  As they waited, the cat got up and stretched on its tiptoes, sashaying along the top of the wall towards Haru. 

“ _Boa tarde_ ,” Haru murmured, offering a hand. 

The cat sniffed his fingertips.  Apparently he passed the inspection, for the cat pushed its cheek enthusiastically against Haru’s knuckles.

Haru smiled, gently scratching the cat’s ears.

“You’ve made a friend,” Rin said.  “Or it’s the _saba_ you ate earlier.”

The cat turned to the new voice, heading over to Rin.

“ _Olá_.”  Rin lifted a hand.

There was another moment of sniffing…and the cat withdrew, returning to Haru and giving Rin the butt-end.

“ _Tch_.”

Haru smothered his laughter as Rin scowled.

“ _Senhor Haruka?  Senhor Rin?_ ”  Gabriela appeared in the doorway, waving them inside.

“ _Com licen_ _ça_.”  Haru went first, crossing a colorful woven rug in the entryway.  He paused.  “Rin, what’s the word for shoes?”

“Haru, I’m not a dictionary.”

Haru pointed down at his feet, noting that Gabriela hadn’t taken off her sneakers.  “ _Está bem?_ ”  _It’s OK?_

Gabriela glanced down, then back to Haru with a puzzled look.

Rin came back, looking over Haru’s shoulder.  “Marcela says it’s ‘ _sapatos._ ’”

“ _Sapatos?_ ”  Gabriela’s face lit.  “ _Está bem!_ ”  She took Haru’s hand and pulled.

Haru stepped over the threshold onto blue and white tile with an intricate pattern.  The room had a sofa and a trunk, with a stairway against one wall and a small kitchen adjacent.  Most of the light came from the windows and upstairs, but there was also a strand of tiny blue and green lights along the edge of the steps that led up to the second floor. 

Haru heard voices and looked up, just in time to meet the curious gazes of a boy and a girl.  The pair grinned shyly and immediately scampered off.  They looked like younger versions of Gabriela.

“ _Beta!  Davi!_ ”  Gabriela charged up the stairs, still tugging Haru by the hand.

He only caught a glimpse of the apartments on the second and third floors before they were climbing onto the roof, into daylight.  The boy and girl—Haru placed them about eight and five, respectively—peered out from behind a woman in navy blue shorts and a rose-pink blouse.  There was a half-full basket of folded laundry by her feet.  At a small table and chairs nearby, a man in a T-shirt and jeans was bottle-feeding an infant.

The couple looked bewildered as Haru appeared from the staircase behind Gabriela.  He dipped his head.  “ _Com licen_ _ça_.”

The confusion on their faces intensified when Rin came up next.  Fortunately, Marcela was with him.  A flurry of Portuguese followed, the awkwardness of the moment vanishing with warm handshakes and greetings.

Gabriela made the official introductions.  “ _Meu pai e minha prima_.”  She gestured to the man.  He was on his feet now, the babe still tucked in the crook of his arm.  “ _Minha mae e meus irmãos_.”  Gabriela touched the woman’s arm, then hugged the young duo who continued to grin up at them.  “ _Esta é a Beta_.”  The little girl giggled.  “ _Este é o Davi._ ”  The boy squirmed in his sister’s grasp.

“ _These are her parents and younger siblings_ ,” Marcela said.  “ _The baby is Gabriela’s cousin_.”

Haru nodded.  “ _Meu nome é Haruka.  Este é o Rin._ ”  He introduced Kaya and Haseda as well, as best he could.  “ _Estamos visitando do Japão_.”

Gabriela dropped her bag, getting down eyelevel with her siblings.  She mimed the front crawl while speaking rapidly in Portuguese.  Haru heard _olímpicos_ and _medalhas_ and that was about it. 

“ _She’s telling them about swimming today and about the medals you won this week_.”

“Ah.”  Haru took the backpack from Rin.  “ _Do they want to see?_ ”  He opened the bag, taking out their silver medals from the medley relay.

Three pairs of eyes got huge, the children crowding around to look, but keeping a polite distance. 

Haru smiled as he crouched down.  “ _It’s OK to touch it.  Do you want to try it on?_ ”

Marcela translated.

The little girl—Beta—was the first to reach out with one tiny finger.  She gave the medal the most tentative poke.

Haru lifted the lanyard.  “ _Está bem?_ ”

The girl’s eyes were giant as Haru lowered the medal over her head.  She held it with two hands.  “ _Pesado!_ ”

“ _She says it’s heavy._ ”

“ _Posso tirar sua foto?_ ” Haseda asked, coming close with her camera.

The girl broke into a gigantic smile with one baby tooth missing as she posed for the picture.  Then it was Davi’s turn and finally Gabriela’s.  Haseda posed the children individually, together, and with Haru and Rin. 

“ _Senhora Marcela, would it be possible to get the address so I can mail prints later?_ ” Haseda asked.

“ _Yes, of course_.”  Marcela went to speak with the parents, who were watching and looking happy if a little overwhelmed.

As the adults talked, Beta took Haru’s hand, leading him to a corner of the roof where there was a crate of toys.  She showed him a doll in a pink dress.  Meanwhile, Davi pulled a soccer ball out of the same crate.

Rin smiled, rubbing his shoulder.  “I haven’t played since elementary school.”

While they kicked the ball around, Beta showed Haru each toy in the crate, explaining in one endless Portuguese sentence.  He nodded as she handed him each item, turning it this way and that in his hands before she took it back.  Gabriela joined them after a bit, carrying a pad of sketching paper and a set of colored pencils.  She set to work immediately with a bright blue pencil.

“ _You like to draw?_ ” Haru asked in English.  He mimed with a gesture and pointed at her sketchbook.  “ _Como se diz isto em português?_ ”

“ _Desenhar_.”

“ _Desenhar?_ ” Haru tested the word.

Gabriela smiled.  “ _Isso! Senhor Haruka, gosta de desenhar também?_ ”

Haru nodded.  “ _Sim_.”  He opened the backpack again, pulling out his sketchbook and a pencil.

“You brought that, Haru?” Rin asked, the soccer ball running into the wall nearby with a tap.

Haru shrugged.  “I thought I might want it.”

Rin’s eyes warmed.  He gathered the ball and gave it a gentle kick back to Davi.

Haru opened to a fresh page and started sketching Gabriela’s portrait.  He put her in her swim cap, with her goggles on her forehead and her eyes sparkling.

Beta played nearby and watched them work. 

Gabriela was done first.  She held out her sketchpad.  “ _Senhor Haruka, pra você e o senhor Rin._ ”

Haru put down his sketchbook, inhaling slowly as he looked at the drawing.  She’d put him and Rin on the top step of the podium, with Haru in a blue T-shirt and Rin in red.  Gold medals hung around their necks.  Gabriela had drawn herself on the second place podium with silver and her siblings standing together with bronze. 

 _This is beautiful._ “ _É lindo_ ,” he whispered, his voice hushed.  “ _Para nós?_ ”  _For us?_

She nodded enthusiastically, a broad grin on her face.

“ _Will you sign it?_ ”  Haru hunted for the words.  “ _Es…  Escreva nome?_ ”

Gabriela’s eyes lit.  She took the sketchpad back, writing her name on the picture.  Then she peeled the page off the pad and gave it to him.

Haru ducked his head.  “ _Obrigado._ ”  He glanced up.  “Rin?”

Rin passed the ball back to Davi and came over, taking the page.  His eyes widened.  “For us?”  Rin’s face softened.  “ _Isto é lindo, Senhorita Gabriela_.  _Obrigado._ ”

“ _De nada_.”  The girl beamed, her cheeks aglow with pride.

Haru finished his sketch.  _Para a Gabriela_ , he wrote in the corner with his name and the date.  He carefully withdrew the page from the book.  “ _Para tu, Senhorita Gabriela_.”  Haru handed her the sketch.

Gabriela held the paper reverently in both hands, her eyes growing wider and wider—  “ _Obrigada, Senhor Haruka!_ ”  She bowled into him with a hug, Haru nearly falling over.  Excited and rapid Portuguese followed as she got up and ran over to her parents, displaying the picture.

“We can hang this in our apartment,” Rin said, handing Gabriela’s drawing back.

“Mm.”  Haru nodded, tucking the picture into his sketchbook.

Rin moved to go, but stilled abruptly.  He crouched down instead, touching Haru’s arm.  “Haru…”  His voice was quiet, his face suddenly sober.

Haru followed his gaze.  The pages fluttered on Gabriela’s sketchpad, leaving a different picture visible.  This one was also done in colored pencils.  Against a background of Rocinha’s vibrant pastel buildings, there was a faceoff between two groups of people—one group in blue and black uniforms, one group in street clothes.  Both had rifles pointed at each other.  In the center was a pool of red, a child, and a crying mother.  At the top of the page, in Gabriela’s handwriting was, _Parar a violência!_

The feeling drained from Haru’s body, leaving him cold and numb.  He recalled fragments from articles Director Kaya sent him weeks ago about _favela_ drug lords and pacification.  In one heartrending second, it all became real, not just words in a news article. 

Haru cleared his throat with effort.  _“Senhora Marcela?”_

Marcela came over.

 _“Is it OK to ask about this?”_   Haru gestured to Gabriela’s drawing.

Marcela looked at the picture and nodded.  _“Yes.  Gabriela?”_

The girl came trotting back, still holding Haru’s sketch.

Haru drew a deep breath.  _“Gabriela, can you tell us about this picture?”_

Marcela translated.

Gabriela crouched down, smoothing her skirt against her knees.  Her explanation came in a quiet voice.

_“She says this happened a couple years ago, when the gangs and the police were fighting.  Now, when there’s gunfire, everyone stays home and they can’t go to school.”_

Marcela paused as Gabriela continued speaking.

_“She says she loves Rocinha and she wants her city to be peaceful.  She prays to God for the fighting to end.”_

Gabriela sat back on her heels and turned the page on her sketchpad.  The next picture looked like a classroom.  Gabriela’s voice picked up again as she spoke.

_“This is Gabriela’s school.  She says she enjoys her classes, especially Portuguese.”_

She switched pages again.

_“This is a picture of her family in their house.  Her grandmother lives on the first floor, while her aunt and uncle and her baby cousin live on the third floor…”_

Haru silently reached for Rin’s hand.  Rin’s grip was firm and immediate; in one brief shared glance, they gave each other the strength they needed.  Able to breathe again, Haru turned his attention back to Gabriela and her drawings.

-x-

The air was cooler and the sun was noticeably lower in the sky when Haru and Rin said goodbye to Gabriela and her family.  Gabriela’s relatives had returned from the market by then, the whole household gathering on the first-floor porch to see them off.  Haru and Rin were almost out the door when Gabriela’s mother stopped them, pressing a small cloth-wrapped package into Haru’s arms.

“ _Oh, we couldn’t_ …” 

Gabriela’s mother wouldn’t take it back, her Portuguese insistent.

“ _She says it’s nothing much, and thanks you for visiting today_ ,” Marcela said.  “ _It would be rude not to accept, Senhor Haruka_.”

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head.  “ _Obrigado_.”  He glanced at Marcela.  “ _Should I open it now?_ ” he asked, unsure of the local custom.

“ _Yes_.”  Marcela smiled.

Haru carefully unwrapped the package.  Inside were two T-shirts, one golden yellow and one brilliant green.  Both said _BRASIL_ across the front and had different patterns—the green one had a palm tree and waves while the yellow shirt had a sea turtle graphic.  _These are amazing._

Rin nudged him, chuckling.  “Haru, you stopped working.”

“These are incredible.”  He bowed to Gabriela’s family.  “ _Obrigado_.”

“Green or yellow?” Rin asked, shucking off his overshirt and tucking it into the backpack.

Haru looked from one T-shirt to the other, back and forth—

“ _Tch_ , we’ll be here all night.”  Rin plucked the yellow shirt from Haru’s hands and pulled it on over his tank top.  “Arms.”

Haru cooperated as Rin slipped the green T-shirt over his head.  He smoothed the fabric over his _saba_ T-shirt, enamored with the color.  “I love it.”

Rin smiled.  “Now we look official.”

“ _I need pictures_ ,” Haseda said, corralling them into photos with the whole family.  Gabriela and her siblings loved having their picture taken.  Haru didn’t mind having Davi on his back while Rin carried Beta.  Gabriela was in the middle, with Haru’s left hand and Rin’s right.

“ _Alright, I got it_.”  Haseda lowered her camera, giving them all a thumbs-up.

After two rounds of goodbyes and a lot of waving, they were out in the narrow alleyway, heading back towards the main road.

Haru’s heart was a jumble of emotions and thoughts; he wondered if he’d ever get them all sorted out as he followed Rin through the maze-like passageway with Marcela ahead of them.  Rin had the backpack for now, the golden yellow of his T-shirt and the scarlet of his hair reminding Haru of sunset.  There was one thing he was certain of— _if I never found my dream; if I hadn’t left home with you to come here…I wouldn’t have gotten to live this day._ The sights he’d seen—both heartwarming and heartbreaking—were treasures stored up in his memories that would last forever.

-x-

They descended Rocinha’s slopes, Marcela taking them through the Sunday market on their way back towards the sports complex.  The market was full of music, mouthwatering smells, colorful fruit, and huge fish.  Haru could’ve spent all day there, but Rin kept prodding him to move on—especially at the fish stall.  He had to settle for pictures.

The sun was just touching the western hills when they arrived at the footbridge over the _AutoEstrada Lagoa-Barra._   They said goodbye to Marcela before ascending the ramp; this also felt too soon.

Their guide’s smile was warm with emotion as she clasped their hands.  _“Thank you for visiting us today.  Especially on behalf of the children.”_

Haru inhaled.  _“But, we hardly—”_

Marcela shook her head.  _“They’ll talk forever about how the Olympians came to see them.  It means much more than you think.  Obrigada, Senhor Haruka, Senhor Rin.  Tchau.  Vá com Deus.”_

“ _Tchau, Senhora Marcela,_ ” Haru said. _“Thank you for everything.”_   Hugs followed; it felt like saying goodbye to a dear friend, not merely their guide for today.

Haru and Rin waited on the footbridge ramp as Director Kaya and Haseda took their turn to say goodbye.

“Holding up?” Rin asked, taking Haru’s hand.

He nodded, lacing their fingers together.  “You?”

Rin smiled.  “Yeah.”

The four of them waved as they headed up the ramp and around the bend until Marcela was no longer in view.

“I wish she would’ve let us give her more,” Director Kaya said.  “Especially with all the translating she did in addition to showing us around.”

Haseda nodded.

They crossed the footbridge over the highway as the daylight started to fade.

“Alright.”  Kaya pressed her hands together.  “I promised the JOC we’d be out of Rocinha by sunset.  So I saved this for now.  You can’t swim there, but…you guys want to see the beach?”

 _Beach?  Which way?_  

Kaya smiled gently.  “I thought so.  São Conrado is only a kilometer’s walk from here.”

They started down a broad, tree-lined street between high-rise apartments.  Soon, Haru could hear and smell the ocean.  They passed two resorts before the road opened up to palm trees on a patterned sidewalk above a wide stretch of white sand.  Haru gripped Rin’s hand as they crossed the street, watching the white-tipped breakers crash along the shore.

Unlike Copacabana, there were very few people here.  The most notable group was several kids with surf boards, under the watchful gaze of an instructor in a _Rocinha Surfe Escola_ T-shirt.

“Tourists don’t come here?” Rin asked.

Director Kaya shook her head, her expression sober.  “Not much, according to what Marcela told me.  This beach is frequented mostly by the residents of Rocinha.  Those same residents are the ones campaigning in support of cleanup efforts.”

From here, the water looked idyllic, especially with the sun slowly setting.  But if Haru looked closely enough, he could see stray plastic bottles caught in the sand.  “Because of the pollution?”

“Hai.  There are places here where sewage from Rocinha flows into the water.”

Haru closed his eyes, not wanting to remember the pictures he’d seen on the internet, especially of Guanabara Bay. 

“With your passion for clean water, Nanase-kun, I could’ve just brought you here,” Kaya said.  “But the more I looked into it…  For most of the world, polluted water is the only thing they’ll see.  That’s what the news covers; that’s the big concern for the sailing and open water Olympic events.  I wanted you to see more than that.”

In his mind, Haru saw faces—Gabriela and João and their coaches at the pool, Marcela and Daniel, Gabriela’s family, and the shop owners at the market where Rin wouldn’t let him buy fish.  He saw artwork, houses built by hand, and water tanks…  He heard the live music, the friendly greetings shouted across the market square, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Rocinha kids racing for the waves with their surfboards.  _It’s about so much more than just water._  

Haru inhaled slowly, looking at Rin.   _Like my life, ever since I met you._

Rin was studying his face.  There was a faint furrow to Rin’s brow as the wind swept strands of crimson hair across his cheeks.  The care and concern Haru read in Rin’s eyes filled him with even more emotion, adding sweetness and overflowing affection to the fullness in his heart.

“Hai,” Haru whispered.

“You guys can have a look around and hang out for a bit,” Director Kaya said.  “Meet us at the Gávea Beach Club—” she pointed up the beach to the west “—when you’re ready to go.”

“Or when you get hungry,” Haseda said.

The women parted from them with a wave, heading up the sidewalk and leaving Haru and Rin alone.

Haru blinked slowly.  He needed this time with Rin, but there was so much inside him he didn’t know where to begin—

Rin sighed, the sound resonating with everything Haru was feeling.  “Wanna just…sit on the wall for a while?”

Haru’s breath came out in a rush.  “Yeah.”

-x-

They perched on the edge of the walkway with their feet dangling over the sand.  Rin’s arm was comfortably draped around Haru’s shoulders, their sides touching as they sat together.  The sinking sun scattered golden rays across the water while palm fronds swayed over their heads.

“I…feel like I’ve lived a year’s worth of emotions in one day,” Haru murmured.

“Me too.”

Haru glanced over.  “It didn’t bother you?  Spending time with Gabriela’s family.  As far as…memories, I mean.”

“Nah, that was fun.”  Rin smiled.  “I was reminded a little about growing up—you know, before he died.”  Rin leaned his head against Haru’s, his gaze focused on the ocean.  “They were all good memories.”

Haru fell quiet, relieved.

“Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”

Rin’s face smoothed, his expression wistful.  “Next time we’re back in Iwatobi, would you…”  Rin drew a breath before continuing.  “Would you come to his grave with me?”

Haru reached up, taking Rin’s hand.  “Yeah, of course.”

Rin half-smiled, the look sad and affectionate all at once.  “I wish he could’ve met you.”

 _I wish I could’ve met him too.  I wish I could’ve seen how happy you were; how he taught you to swim…what your life was like back then._  

Rin exhaled long and slow, closing his eyes.  “I didn’t want people to know.  I didn’t want their pity or their sympathy.  I didn’t want to be treated differently as a swimmer, as an Olympian, just because my father died.”

The breeze carded through their hair as Haru waited, listening to the crash of the surf.

Rin’s voice was softer when he started again.  “I never thought there were kids out there who needed to hear my story.  I didn’t think that _anything_ good could come out of what happened.”  Rin’s arm tightened around Haru’s shoulders, moisture gathering at the seams of his eyelids.  “I wanted to pretend the pain didn’t exist; I wanted it to go away.  But it’s only getting better because I’m facing it.  If just by saying _something_ I can help kids like me to heal…”  Rin looked at him, eyes glistening.  “Haru, _I want that._ ”

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru wrapped his arm around Rin’s waist, holding his lover close.  The emotion was hot and thick in his throat.  _I want that for you, too._   To think that, just two months ago, they were sitting on another beach having a much different conversation…  _Rin, you’ve come so far.  Every day, you heal a little bit more._

Rin exhaled, like a huge weight had fallen from his shoulders.  “Not that I’ve got any idea how to go about it, but…”  His smile was rueful but genuine as he pushed his free hand through his hair.  “I’m sure I’ll figure it out along the way.  _We’ll_ figure it out.”

Haru nodded, squeezing Rin around the waist.  “Yeah.  I’ll be there, Rin.  I promise.”

Rin leaned in.  Their lips met gently as the waves lapped against the sand.

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin was smiling as they parted.  He reached over, ruffling Haru’s hair affectionately. 

“Nn.”  Haru tilted his head away from Rin’s fingers.  _I liked the kiss better._

Rin’s smile grew.  He set his chin on Haru’s shoulder as they both looked out at the water. 

 _This is nice._   Haru brought Rin’s hand to his lips, kissing Rin’s knuckles.

“…You really want to give up your baths?”

He frowned.  _It’s not really a matter of ‘want.’_   “I’m not sure I can stomach it.  You saw those tanks.”

“Yeah.  I’m not trying to talk you out of it.  You have to do what you can feel good about.  It’s your choice.”

Haru sighed.  _At the same time, the idea of never taking another bath…_

“Haru, how often do you change the bath water really?”

 _What?_   “I change it regularly.”

“But not _daily_.”

Haru pressed his lips _._ “Not…always.”  _Draining and filling the tub takes too long._ “I add chlorine or salt if I don’t.”

Rin chuckled.  “That’s what I mean.  You probably use less bath water than you think.”

_Nn…_

“You could always try _half-full_ baths.”

 _Oh._   Haru straightened.  _That’s true._

Rin’s lips found his cheek.  “Or just save baths for special occasions.”

“Like sharing?”

“Mm-hm.”

 _It’s not as bad if multiple people use the bath.  Like at Makoto’s house.  Instead of it just being me._   “When the kids are little, we can do family bath time.”  _You don’t fill the tub as much then, anyways._

“Yeah, exactly.”

Haru leaned against his lover, feeling lighter.  “I like that idea.”

“In the meantime, we can make sure our apartment’s close to the pool,” Rin said, hugging him.  “Or a public bath.”

Haru smiled, filled with warmth.  “I love you, Rin.”

“I love _you_.”

For a while, they held each other quietly, watching the sun continue to sink behind the hills.  The surfers gathered their boards and started heading up the beach.

“Did you ever try it, Rin?”

“Hm?  Surfing?”

Haru nodded.

“Eh…”  Rin raked a hand through his hair.  “Russell and Lori always offered to send me to lessons, but…”  He shrugged.  “I was pretty focused on swimming.”  Rin quirked a brow.  “Why?  You wanna try, Haru?”

“Maybe.”

Rin smiled knowingly.

“What?  It looked fun.  We could try it together.”

“Where’s this sudden adventurous streak coming from?”

 _You._ “I guess I’m braver now.”

Rin snorted.  “You being braver _and_ free is a dangerous combination.”  He leaned back with one hand braced behind him.  “Between Iceberg’s club, naked drawing, and surfing lessons, our Sydney agenda’s getting pretty full.”

Haru perked up.  “ _Naked_ drawing?”

Rin blushed.  “Er…yeah, I was going to surprise you.  Damnit.”

 _Surprise me?  How would that work?_   “You mean like…you get naked and tell me to draw you?”

“I was gonna do it better than that!”

Haru smothered a laugh.  “OK.  Surprise me, Rin.  But don’t hold it against me if I can’t finish the sketch.”

“Well, _obviously_ that’s the goal…”

-x-

As the sunlight was fading in fiery red streaks, they wandered up the beach hand-in-hand, picking their way around the occasional ribbon of litter that had washed onshore.  The Gávea Beach Club was right on the sidewalk—two yellow roofs over a kitchen and server area with all of the seating outdoors under white and blue umbrellas.  Candles in jars on each table provided light.

Director Kaya and Haseda waved them to their table for four.  The women were relaxing with highball glasses of some kind of pale liquid with thick wedges of lime.

“Hey guys!  Hungry?”  Director Kaya offered them the menu.  “They have _cavalla_ , Nanase-kun.”

 _Where?_   Haru flipped through the menu.

“You guys want something to drink?  Or just water?” Haseda asked.

Haru glanced up from the page.  “What are you drinking?”

“ _Caipirinha_.”  Haseda winked.  “It’s _the_ drink here in Brazil—sugarcane liquor, sugar, and lime.”

“You’re old enough here.  I’ll buy one round if you want,” Kaya said.  “As long as we all agree not to tell Tsuchiya-san.”

Haru studied the glass, curious.  _This is what you meant about my being brave and free and dangerous, huh?_   He glanced at Rin, who looked slightly wary, but wasn’t saying anything. 

“Can they make it without alcohol?” Haru asked.

Rin relaxed.

Haseda flagged down a server.  “ _Duas caipirinhas virgens por favor.  Sem gelo._ ”

Haru went back to the menu.

They put in their orders—grilled _cavalla_ for Haru, grilled meat for Rin—and their drinks came in little glasses like Kaya and Haseda’s.

“Cheers.”  Haseda lifted her glass.

They all clinked glasses.  Haru sipped the sweet, slightly sour, slightly fizzy drink.  The fresh lime really popped.  He drank more, looking askance at Rin.

Rin was wincing a little as he sipped.  “It’s more sugar than I’ve had in months.”

“I’ll drink yours if you don’t want it.”

Rin reeled in his glass.  “I didn’t say that.”

Haru smiled.

“Should we talk a tiny bit of business?” Director Kaya asked.

Haseda made a show of sighing.  “If we must.”

Kaya elbowed her in the arm.  “Nanase-kun, we’re purposely not talking next steps out of today.  That’ll be for tomorrow.  I’ll find you guys on the beach at Copacabana, after the women’s 10k.”

“OK.”  Haru sipped more from his drink.

“Did Tsuchiya-san tell you about your interview on Tuesday?”

Haru blinked.  “No.  But I haven’t checked my email lately.”  He looked at Rin.

Rin shook his head.  “Me either.”

“Well, it was just finalized.  It’ll be at Japan House in the afternoon—after the men’s 10k.  Same anchors from today—Nishida Riko and Tanabe Kenji.  They’ve been asking to interview the two of you _forever_.”  Kaya shrugged.  “Since Barcelona, anyways.  You can expect some personal questions, but you’ll have an opportunity to name any off-limit topics when you meet them tomorrow, so don’t worry.”

“…And if there’s specific things we want to talk about?” Rin asked.

“Absolutely.  Water and your experience today in Rocinha would be obvious topics, but as you saw from what Natsumaya-san arranged this afternoon, you can really steer the conversation in any direction you’d like.”

“If there _will_ be any question-popping, let me know in advance so I—and my camera—can be there,” Haseda said.

Haru glanced at Rin—who was blushing—and shook his head.  _No embarrassing public proposals.  I promised._

“You’re going to be busy anyway.”  Kaya glared mildly at Haseda.  “Tsuchiya-san arranged for the Mikoshiba brothers to do the speedo shoot with us, so we’re going to have our hands full.”

“Mikoshiba’s good at posing,” Haru said.

Rin sighed.

“Yeah, he’s not the one we’re worried about.”

“It’s going to be ridiculous.  And by that, I mean it’ll be great.”  Haseda tipped back another generous swallow of her drink.  “I’ll have some photos for you by Tuesday morning at the latest.  From our outing.  Not the shoot.  Assuming I can choose.  There are so many good ones, especially of you guys with the kids.”

Director Kaya lifted her glass.  “Here’s to more all-nighters.”

“Yup.”

Then the food arrived—sizzling hot and mouthwatering—and Haru’s entire world became grilled _cavalla_ and sneaking warm looks at Rin as they ate.

-x-

It was fully dark by the time Haru and Rin arrived back at the Athlete’s Village.  Even though it wasn’t late—especially considering their competition schedule, Haru was dragging.  He stifled a yawn as they rode the elevator together.

“Damnit, don’t—”  Rin interrupted himself with a yawn.

 _Sorry, Rin._ “This is when we’d usually get up from our nap.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me.”

“And we were up early this morning.”

Rin cocked a brow as they left the elevator.  “Whose fault was that?”

“Yours.”  Haru reached into his pocket for the apartment key.

“It was not!”

Haru smiled. 

They got to their door.  A sign was posted, announcing new quiet hours from 9pm to 7am in support of the open water swim events Monday and Tuesday.

“Fine by me,” Rin muttered, yawning again.

Haru unlocked the door and they went inside.

“Perfect, Momotarou!  Hold that!”

“Like this, Nii-chan?”  Momo—in his speedo—was standing on top of the couch with his hands on his hips and one foot braced on the couch’s arm.

Photographer Mikoshiba—also clad in a speedo and nothing else—was lying on the floor, taking the shot.

—Haru and Rin went straight into their bedroom and closed the door.

“I’m good with turning in,” Rin said.

“Yup.  Me too.”

They set down their stuff and headed into the bathroom.

Halfway through undressing, Rin turned around, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Na, Haru…about the, uh…”

Haru paused with his T-shirts off.  “Oh, that…”

“—I’m kind of tired,” they said in unison.

As their gazes met, they laughed together.  Haru reached for Rin at the same time Rin was reaching for him.  They hugged half-clothed, their foreheads touching.

“Good, because all I want in the world right now is curling up in bed with you,” Rin said.

“Same.”  Haru smiled.

After the briefest shower, they tangled themselves beneath the covers in their underwear. 

“ _Oyasumi_ , Haru.”

Their lips met sweetly in the soft glow of Rin’s reading lamp.

“ _Oyasumi_ , Rin.”

Haru laid his head on the pillow, warm in his lover's arms, and fell asleep before Rin turned off the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve tried my best in this chapter to provide a glimpse of Rocinha during the Olympics as gleaned from my research. I recommend this video, published in August 2016, for background: [_Inside Rio’s favelas, the city's neglected neighborhoods_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3BRTlHFpBU) by Vox on YouTube
> 
> For more information, history, and current events in Rocinha, please visit [_Rio On Watch_](http://www.rioonwatch.org/?s=rocinha) (dot org) for their articles as well as translations of articles written by Rocinha residents, or their [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/RioOnWatch/) page.
> 
> I highly recommend the [_Life in Rocinha_ blog](http://lifeinrocinha.blogspot.com/) (blogspot) by the owner of a DJ school in Rocinha.
> 
> I’ll also have a few things on my tumblr, #rocinha.


	38. 100 meters, 100 times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [JemTheKingOfSass](http://archiveofourown.org/users/JemTheKingOfSass/pseuds/JemTheKingOfSass) for our conversations about Shibuya. <3

* * *

Monday, August 15th, 2016

* * *

_The beach framed through Haru’s viewfinder was white sand with sparkling waves rolling on shore, ribbons of foam, and the golden sun dipping into the sea.  The shot was perfect, absolutely pristine—_

_“Daddy!  Take my picture!”  The little girl popped into view, too close to his lens.  Sand clung to her wet hair and her chin; her wide grin had two baby teeth absent._

_Haru smiled as he sat back on his heels, adjusting the focus.  “Don’t I have enough pictures of you, my love?”  He snapped the photo as she laughed._

_“Never!”  She tackled him, Haru getting one hand free to spare the camera as they went down in a heap._

_Haru’s unbuttoned shirt and boardshorts were instantly filled with sand.  It was true—  He kissed his daughter’s brow.  —There were never enough pictures.  He could fill all of the albums in the world and never truly capture her glow, her smile, her twinkling eyes…  Haru wrapped an arm around her, her frilled swimsuit still damp as she curled up on his chest.  “Are you getting hungry?”_

_“Mm…”  Her small face scrunched in concentration.  “I want…cavalla!”_

_Haru quirked a brow.  “Nihongo de?”_

_“Saba tabetai!”_

_He smiled.  “Saba to…?”_

_“Saba y piña!”_

_“Gross.”  The little boy plopped down beside them in the sand, making a face.  “You’re mixing languages again.”_

_“I am not!”_

_Haru sat up carefully, his daughter curling her short arms possessively around his waist as she stuck out her tongue at her brother._

_The boy rolled his eyes, his hair spiky and askew, the bodyboard strap still attached to his wrist.  The board itself was wedged into the sand._

_Haru put his camera away.  “What do_ you _want for dinner?” he asked his son._

_“Not pineapple.  I want pancakes.”_

_The girl snorted.  “That’s not dinner food.”_

_“So?  It’s better than fish and fruit.  Tell her, Dad.”_

_Haru suppressed a chuckle.  “Caballa y piña y panqueques?”  He shrugged.  “OK.”_

_“Yay!”_

_“Ugh, Dadddd.”  The boy pouted dramatically, falling against Haru’s side._

_He smoothed his son’s hair affectionately.  “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.”_

_“That’s not what the Old Man says.”_

_The cough came from behind them, accompanied by footsteps in the sand.  “What was that?”_

_Their daughter jumped up from Haru’s arms.  “Otousan!”  She ran to Rin, who scooped her up for a kiss, and twined her arms around his neck.  The breeze ruffled Rin’s warmup pants and T-shirt._

_“Minha querida,” Rin murmured, nuzzling the girl’s cheek.  “You’re covered in sand.”_

_“Just a little,” she said, giggling with delight._

_“Yo, Oyaji,” their son said, giving Rin a wave but otherwise not moving from Haru’s side._

_“Oi.”  Rin sighed, giving Haru a look like, ‘Are we sure he’s not a teenager yet?’_

_Haru nudged the boy.  “Sass or pancakes.  Your choice.”_

_“Nn.”  Their son’s face reddened.  He got up, pulling the bodyboard strap from his wrist and trotting over to Rin.  “Hey Dad.”_

_Rin crouched down, hugging the boy with one arm.  “Any good waves today?”_

_“The best waves!  They were huge!  I was like—”  Their son mimed the crashing waves and wiping out on his board._

_Rin grinned.  “I’m sorry I missed it.”_

_“This weekend, Dad?”_

_“Yeah, it’s a promise.”_

_The boy broke into a wide grin._

_Haru brushed the sand from his clothes as he stood up.  “How was your day?”_

_“Ran me ragged as usual,” Rin said, the weariness evident in his eyes as he set their daughter on her feet and straightened.  He pushed a hand through his hair, the sunset glinting off the gold ring on his third finger.  Across the bridge of his nose, there was still a faint line from his reading glasses.  “But, with three on the verge of breathless fifties, I can’t complain.”  Rin smiled.  “You?”_

_Haru thought back over conference calls and hours in his studio.  “It was good.  Better now.”  Being here by the water with his family?  This was paradise._

_Rin lifted a brow.  “Better, huh?”  He came close, slipping his arms over Haru’s shoulders._

_“Much,” Haru whispered, angling for Rin’s lips._

_“Awww, Dads…  Do you_ have _to do that in public?”_

_“Our Daddies are being mushy!”_

_Their kiss was chaste and unhurried, Haru and Rin both well practiced in the skill of selective hearing.  They ignored their son’s dramatic death throes of embarrassment, parting when they wanted to and not before._

_Haru soaked up the warmth and love in his husband’s eyes, resting their foreheads together.  “Rin.”_

_“Hm?”_

_“The kids want saba, pineapple, and pancakes for dinner.”_

_Rin winced.  “Haru, no—”_

-x-

Haru blinked awake to a darkened room, disoriented at first.  It took him a minute to trade sea-salt air for the scent of chlorine and the crash of the waves offshore for Rin’s soft, regular breaths, stirring his hair.  _Just a dream…_   He closed his eyes, but the images were already fading away.  The more he sought after them, the faster they vanished, like fleeting wisps of vapor.  _I need to…_

Haru gingerly slipped out from beneath Rin’s arm; Rin grumbled something incoherent in his sleep, a scowl on his face as he rolled over.  The floor was cold beneath Haru’s feet as he crossed the room quickly, grabbing a T-shirt and his sketchbook and silently opening the door. 

Light from the Athletes’ Village streamed into the main room from the balcony.  Haru didn’t bother with the lamp.  He tugged on his T-shirt and sat on the floor, his pencils rolling in a scatter as he set them down.  He flipped his sketchbook open to a blank page.  The faces were gone by the time he set sharpened graphite to paper, but other details remained—like sand filling the creases in tiny hands and how overwhelmed with love Rin looked as he kissed their daughter’s cheek.

When that page was full, Haru started another…and another…  At some point, his dream merged with his memories.  The beach became São Conrado, Rin with their son became Rin placing his swim cap on João’s head, and the little girl missing a couple baby teeth became Gabriela’s younger sister, Beta.  When his pencil dulled, Haru grabbed the next closest one, not bothering to check its grade.  Whenever his hand cramped up, he only paused long enough to shake it out and kept going.

It was the coldest hour just before the dawn when Haru ran out of paper.  Frowning, he set down his pencil and tried to massage feeling back into his fingers.  The picture on the last page was of Rin holding Gabriela’s infant cousin.  Rin’s eyes were wide and comedically petrified; he cradled the baby as if she were made of glass.  Haru smiled to himself.  The dream itself may have faded, but the warmth and feelings hadn’t.  _You’ll be a great dad someday, Rin._

The door opening in the hall was almost soundless, but Haru heard it along with the rhythm of footsteps—bare feet against the tile floor.  He tilted his head up as Rin—clad in a tank top and sleep pants—sat down behind him.  Rin had the blue knit blanket Haru brought from home, draping it around both of their shoulders.

Haru leaned back into Rin’s embrace.  “You’re up.”

Rin’s arms circled his waist, their lips brushing together.  “It’s just not the same—waking up without you.”

Haru’s heart did a sweet flip.  “Mn.  Sorry.”

Rin smiled, shaking his head.  He rested his chin on Haru’s shoulder, his gaze falling to the sketchbook.  Rin’s nose crinkled.  “Haru, you drew that?”

“It was cute.  You looked terrified.”

“She was really tiny!”  Rin’s breath came out in a huff.  “I didn’t want to do it wrong.”

“You weren’t doing it wrong.”

“Nn.  You think there’s like…a manual or something?”

It was an amusing thought—Rin pouring over parenting books, trying to study up.  “I’m sure there’s millions of books out there.”  _Should I get you one for Christmas?_   “We’ve got time, Rin.”

Rin’s arms tightened around him.  “Yeah, I know.” 

A moment passed in silence, the sky slowly lightening beyond the balcony from indigo to cobalt to pale blue.

“Na, Haru…”

“Hm?”

“Do you think…?”  Rin drew a breath, the words coming out with effort.  “Do you think when we’re ready…Japan will be, too?”

Haru covered Rin’s arms with his own, catching the edge of the blanket in his fingers.  “I hope so.”

Rin shifted, his cheek pressed to Haru’s hair, his breath wafting across Haru’s neck as he exhaled.  “The things Natsumaya-san mentioned about Shibuya…  It’s wonderful—it’s _something_ —but it’s not remotely everything.  Right now, _complicated_ doesn’t even begin to describe this dream of ours.”

“Mm.”  Haru nodded.  “Complicated isn’t the same as impossible.”

Rin’s inhale was slow, measured.  “I don’t want to wait decades.”

_Me either._   Haru laced his fingers into Rin’s.  “Let’s start asking now.”

“Haru, this isn’t like changing a training venue—”

“I know.  But…we can still try.”   _We’re not the only ones with this dream.  Shibuya happened because someone asked…and kept asking_ …Haru turned in his lover’s embrace, lifting his gaze. 

Rin’s eyes were guarded in the soft, pre-dawn glow.

_You’re afraid to hope.  I get it._ Haru wrapped his arms around Rin beneath the blanket.  “I dreamt about them—our kids.”

Rin’s lips parted around a hitch of breath.

“We had one boy and one girl.”  His voice fell to a whisper.  “They were… _beautiful_.”

Rin trembled against him, scarlet eyes starting to gleam.

“I can’t remember their faces; I don’t know their names.  But they called us, ‘ _Dad_ ,’ and they spoke multiple languages—”

“Haru…”  Rin exhaled roughly, his eyes shining with moisture. 

_You’re the one who taught me not to give up dreams even when they’re difficult._ Haru leaned their foreheads together, pulling Rin close.  _And this dream’s the most important of all._ “Rin, I’m OK with complicated.  I want to meet them someday.  I’m OK with whatever it takes to get there.”

“ _Damnit_.”  Hope lit in Rin’s eyes, then he was crushing their bodies together, hugging Haru so tight it was difficult to breathe.  “I love you _so much_.”

“I love _you._ ”  Haru lifted his hands to Rin’s hair, burying his fingers in sunset-colored strands.  The kiss that followed brought with it a tiny remnant of the dream, of sea-salt spray, matching rings, and the damp sand beneath their bare feet—

When they finally parted, Haru reached for his sketchbook.  “Can I show you?  I tried, before I couldn’t remember it anymore.”

Rin sniffed hard, scrubbing his face with one hand.  “Yeah.  Show me.”

Haru started from the last page, showing Rin his sketches and describing each one as best he could as Rin looked over his shoulder. 

They got all the way to the beginning; afterwards, Rin turned one page back.  “Haru, what’s…?”  He pointed to a drawing on the side of the page.  “Is that… _saba_?  With…?”

“Pineapple and pancakes.  It’s what the kids wanted for dinner.”

Rin turned a delicate shade of green.

Haru frowned.  “I added a salad.”

Rin laughed, burying his face in Haru’s throat.  “Come back to bed, OK?  I guarantee the Mikoshiba brothers will be up soon.”

“And you’d be embarrassed if they found us cuddling out here?”  Haru gathered his pencils.

Rin plucked the hem of Haru’s boxer briefs.  “You’re not wearing any pants.”

“So?”  _I’m wearing more than Mikoshiba usually does._   “You brought a blanket.”

“Because it’s _cold_ , not for—”

Haru reached up, pulling the blanket over their heads.  “Not for what, Rin?” he murmured against Rin’s lips.

As their mouths melted together, their conversation ceased for long moments…

The end of the kiss was languid and slow, lingering in their moist breaths in the shadow of the blanket.

“You made your point,” Rin muttered.  “ _Bed_.”

Haru smiled.  “OK.”

Back in their room, they undressed and slid between the sheets.

“I set the alarm for seven,” Rin said, stifling a yawn.

“Nn.”  Haru molded his body to Rin’s, tucking his arm snugly around his lover’s torso.  “Seven-thirty.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  The smile was evident in Rin’s voice as he reached for his phone on the nightstand. 

-x-

“Beach day!”  Momo sprinted towards the waves in his yellow practice speedo, getting as far as the wet sand before his brother caught up with him.

Mikoshiba hooked an arm around the kid’s waist, hauling Momo off his feet and away from the water.  “Exactly right, Momotarou!  _Beach_ day!  You’re staying on the sand.”

“Awww.”  Momo went ragdoll limp, pouting as his brother dragged him back to the rest of the team.

“Well, we’ll be doing that for the next two hours,” Rin muttered, adjusting his sunglasses.  His hair was gathered into a ponytail though a few strands had escaped and played against his cheeks.

“Maybe not,” Haru said, glancing to their left where Sada and Otani were spreading out their towels and stripping down to bikinis. 

Momo’s eyes went huge.  He squirmed free from Mikoshiba’s grasp and jogged up the beach.  “Sada-san, can I help you with your sunscreen?”

Sada flipped a bit of black hair away from her aviator sunglasses and sat down on her towel, cross-legged.  “Sure, Squeaker.  You can do my back.”

The kid puddled to the sand, making nonsensical noises until Sada put the spray can in his hand.  With a huge grin on his face, Momo rolled onto his knees and knelt behind her.

“If Sada’s not careful, she’s gonna get a bunch of drool with her sunscreen,” Rin said.

Haru smiled.  “Here’s good?” he asked, pointing to a vacant spot nearby. 

“Sure.”

They laid out their towels side-by-side—Rin’s shark towel and Haru’s polka dot one—and shucked off their T-shirts and shorts.  Copacabana Beach was hot and sunny—perfect square leg weather.  Haru sat down and stretched out his legs.

Rin dug in their backpack.  “Lotion or spray, Haru?”

Haru glanced at his lover over his shades.  “Depends.  Are you doing it?”

Rin’s grin was sly as he came up with a silver tube of sunscreen.

Haru leaned forward as Rin moved behind him.  The lotion was cool to the touch, Rin working across his shoulders in firm strokes.  It felt heavenly and Haru’s sigh was a bit louder than he intended.

Rin chuckled.  He gave Haru a peck on the cheek and lingered near Haru’s ear, his voice a teasing whisper.  “Don’t enjoy it too much.  We’re not in the Village.”

“I’ll try,” Haru said, pressing back into his lover’s touch.

It was almost 9am.  The twenty-six competitors in the women’s 10k marathon swim were already in the water, clustered together near the starter’s boat, a couple hundred meters offshore.  Takara, in a blue swim cap, was out there somewhere.  It was hard to tell from this distance.  The course was marked by bright red, orange, and yellow buoys bobbing in the water, with several attending boats for Rio officials and photographers.  Referees in white kayaks hovered nearby.

On the beach to Haru and Rin’s left, there was a large video screen on scaffolding, angled towards tents and covered seating areas that were situated on the sidewalk, across the street from the Copacabana high rises.  They could’ve picked seats up there, but Team Japan had opted for the sand, staking out a spot between the Canadians and the Australians. 

Further north were the stands for ticketed spectators, seating for the sports commentators, and the crowds.  The athletes’ area where Haru and Rin sat was cordoned off with plenty of room to stretch out.  The whole team was present—even Sugiyama was sunning himself in red and black square legs alongside Coach Akagi, Coach Maekawa, and Captain Ikehara.  Ozawa, Konishi, and Nakagawa were on the edge of the group, mingling with the Australians, while Koda—sitting with the relay-only guys—looked on, clearly annoyed.  On the way in, they’d waved to Captain McInnes and Rin’s friend Ty; Haru had no doubt they’d all be hanging out together as the day went on.

A surge of cheering accompanied the start of the race, Haru glancing over at the screen at the white water and churning foam surrounding the pack of swimmers.

“Come on, Takara!”  Mikoshiba was standing at the edge of the wet sand in his navy-blue speedo, his hands cupped around his mouth as he yelled.

Other members of the team joined in.  “Let’s go, Sakamoto!”  “You got this, Taka-chan!”  There was no way the swimmers could hear them, but Haru thought it was a nice gesture regardless.

The course started to the north for a few hundred meters before heading out to sea.

“A hundred meters, a hundred times,” Haru murmured.  He’d racked up long distances during practice before and there was no doubt he could spend hours in the water, but at race speeds?  “You’ve done it twice.”  He tipped his head back, looking at Rin.

Rin nudged him forward, starting to work sunscreen down his arms.  “Samezuka tradition.  I didn’t beat Mikoshiba and he still made me captain.  Nitori, though.”  Rin chuckled fondly.  “He started apologizing the moment he realized he’d won.”

_Sounds like him._ Haru smiled to himself.

A few minutes later, they switched places, Haru settling with his knees to either side of Rin’s hips.  He warmed the sunscreen between his palms before applying it to Rin’s skin.

Rin dipped his head, muffling a groan as Haru worked the pressure points to either side of Rin’s spine.  “Haru, you’re just supposed to put it _on_ me.”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

Rin glanced back over his shoulder, the glare mild and knowing through his shades.

Haru dug his thumbs in, feeling his lover melt beneath his touch.

Rin grunted and returned his attention forward, arching his back into Haru’s fingertips.

_Love you, Rin._   Haru smiled.

-x-

While the women fought through their two-hour race, Haru baked one side and then the other, alternating his gaze between the screen, the waves, and Rin stretched out beside him.  It was nice to just do nothing.  He couldn’t remember the last time they’d had a true day off without team or sponsorship obligations (today had both) and he knew that, soon enough, Rin would start complaining about their lack of conditioning and want to get back to it.  Their daily routine from now until Christmas was sure to be filled with multiple dryland sessions and demanding swim sets, not to mention their studies.  For now, though, as long as Rin was relaxed, Haru wasn’t about to say anything.  He was looking forward to their Sydney trip more and more—swimming, lazing around on the beach, sex…  Rin would probably schedule other activities, too, but as long as those were prioritized Haru was good with it.

On the view screen, the swimmers entered their fourth and final lap.  It was pandemonium passing by the feeding platform as usual.  Haru caught a glimpse of Takara in her blue cap as she snagged the bottle from the end of the feeding pole with the Japanese flag on it.  She rolled onto her back, drinking quickly, and continued the race. 

“Why doesn’t anyone feed me in the pool?” Haru murmured, watching with envy.

“Mm, what was that?”

Haru pursed his lips, glancing at Rin.  “I could stay in longer.”

Rin rolled his eyes behind his shades.

Footsteps approached.  “ _Hey guys!  Beauty of a day, aye?_ ” Ty asked. 

“ _You’re not kidding_.”  Rin sat up as Ty dropped down into the sand.

“ _Remember that time when we were fifteen, down on the beach, and my mum and dad had all the snags and barra on the barbie_ —”

_“Ty, that was like…every time I came over.”_

_“No, that time the surf was really going off, and you said—”_

As the two friends chatted away in English, Haru gazed up at the unbroken expanse of blue above them.  He had at least one unanswered text from Makoto.  It was nothing new—by now Makoto had to be used to Haru taking forever to reply, though the distance made things different.  Usually, they saw each other every day.  Haru didn’t have to say anything because Makoto would read it all on his face.  _I’d make tea and Makoto would do enough talking for both of us._   Things would change when he went back home to Tokyo, when he and Rin got an apartment.  In some ways, this ‘distance’ was here to stay.  _I took for granted that we’d be together forever, that our friendship would always be the same as it was when we were little kids._

His friendship with Makoto was evolving—it started with Sydney and continued through his whole first year of training at Koutei.  From now on, the changes, like the seasons, would happen faster.  He’d only committed to Paris so far, but Haru knew there was more traveling in his future.  _I need to be more intentional.  I can’t rely on you to do all the work in our friendship anymore._ Makoto would never think of it like that, but…  _You’ve always been the one to accommodate all of my eccentricities and you never complained about it._  

Haru flipped onto his stomach, reaching into their backpack for his phone.  He propped his shades on his forehead so he could read the screen and logged onto _Team Japan_ wifi from the hotspot their coaches carried around.

_[We’re all still gushing about the relay,]_ Makoto had texted earlier.  _[Silver!  Though I can’t say I’m surprised.  When the two of you swim together, something incredible always happens.  I hope you had a good day off on Sunday.  Were you there when Natsumaya-san proposed?  The whole Koutei-Todai crowd has been celebrating.  Coach Maekawa looked so happy.  The Koutei swim team is secretly hoping she’ll cut them some slack from now on, but you and I both know that’s not going to happen.]_   He could almost hear Makoto chuckling.

_[We were there,]_ Haru wrote back.  _[It was a nice proposal.]_

The phone buzzed in Haru’s hand a second later.  _[Haru!  Are you watching Sakamoto-senpai’s race?  There was a shot of the beach earlier, but I only saw the Canadian team.]_

_[We’re here.  You’re back in Tokyo?]_

_[Yeah, at the usual place.  It feels weird that it’s not the middle of the night.  I can actually go to bed at a semi-reasonable time tonight.  Which is good—it was great spending time with the twins, but I still feel jetlagged, so I’m pretty worn out.  Did you get some rest yesterday?]_

_Not exactly_.  _[We visited Rocinha, one of Rio’s favelas.]_

_[We heard about Rocinha on the news and watched some videos.  How was it?]_

At this point, Makoto was expecting him to reply with a typical ‘it was (blank).’  …Not that Haru could possibly sum up all of his emotions and experiences about yesterday into a single word.  Even if he could, that wasn’t the point of this conversation.  _[When I get home, maybe we could go to that higashi chuka ryori place you like and I’ll show you the pictures?  I took a lot of pictures.]_

There was a lengthy pause before the phone buzzed again.

_[Haru, you don’t like higashi chuka.  That one time we tried, they said they wouldn’t make it with saba.  We went somewhere else instead, remember?]_

Haru tapped out his reply.  _[You always rave about how that place reminds you of your mom’s cooking.  It’s OK, Makoto.  I don’t have to eat saba all the time.  I want to try it.  If I don’t like the ham, I can give it to you, right?]_

The second pause was even longer than the first.  The animated ellipses appeared and disappeared multiple times before the message popped up.

_[I’d really like that, Haru.]_

A trill came from their backpack, Rin breaking off his conversation with Ty long enough to fish out his phone.  “Haru, what did you do?” Rin asked, looking at him over his sunglasses.  “Sousuke says you made Makoto all emotional.”

Haru frowned.  “I just invited him to _higashi chuka_ so I could tell him about Rocinha.”

“But they don’t make that with…  At least, I’ve never _heard_ of that with—”

_Nn._   “I know that.”  Haru’s cheeks grew warm.

Rin read his face and smiled.  Pushing his shades into place, he nudged Haru fondly before starting up again with Ty.

Haru blushed harder, going back to his phone.  _[Are they open on Sunday?]_

-x-

The swimmer from the Netherlands took gold at the end of the women’s marathon.  In the pack trailing the winner, there was enough elbow throwing to remind Haru why he didn’t swim open water or play water polo.  (His idea of a water contact sport involved him and Rin and an otherwise deserted pool…)  It was a photo-finish between France and Italy for second, with Brazil slapping the timing gate right afterwards.  Takara took twelfth at an hour, fifty-seven minutes and change.

Once the race was over, she came out to the beach from the tents, still in her full-length black suit with the number 3 and the Olympic rings marked on her arms, just as the crowd was buzzing about the French swimmer being disqualified at the finish line.

“It was crazy out there,” Takara said, accepting hugs from Mikoshiba and Haru in turn.  “I’m gonna have bruises.”

“Good race, Takara,” Haru said. 

“Thanks!”  She grinned. 

“Taka-chan!”  Ozawa and Konishi waved as they came over in their two-piece swimsuits.  Konishi’s suit was blue and gold while Ozawa’s had a multi-colored, geometric pattern.

“Yumi-chan!  Shiori-chan!”

Haru backed away as the women collided in a hug. 

Rin chuckled.  “You don’t wanna get caught in the middle?”

“And make you jealous?”  Haru cocked a brow.

“Nn…”  Rin folded his arms.

_You’re not denying it._   He eyed skin glowing faintly from their hours in the sun, with a sheen of sunscreen, sweat, and sand clinging to muscle.  Rin looked even better than in Málaga.  Haru stepped close, though he kept his hands to himself, mindful that they weren’t in the Village.  He lowered his voice to a whisper.  “You don’t need to be jealous, Rin.  You and the water are the ones I love.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru.”  Rin tugged on a bit of crimson hair before slinging an arm around Haru’s shoulders and giving him a brief squeeze. 

After the medal ceremony, Coach Maekawa gathered the members of Team Japan on the beach.  She’d put on a coverup dress over her swimsuit (though it wasn’t stopping Momo from staring at her) and her engagement ring was blinding every time it caught the sunlight.

“Village curfew is still 1am, Olympians.  Last night a couple of you had trouble with that—you know who you are.”  She didn’t glance at anyone in particular, but some of the relay-only swimmers had guilty looks on their faces.

“So let me reiterate:  Unless you have Coach Fujino’s permission in writing to spend the night away, you must be back on Village grounds and checked in with one of us by then, no exceptions.”  Maekawa scanned the team members with a stern expression and propped a hand on her hip.  “Nothing else has changed.  Make sure you’re following the buddy system, only using Village-provided transportation, looking out for each other, and if you don’t want to read about it in the news tomorrow, don’t do it.”  Her face softened the slightest bit.  “That said, if you get in trouble, call us.”  Maekawa gestured to Coach Akagi and Captain Ikehara.  “We’ll sort things out, alright?  …Questions?” 

When there were none, Captain Ikehara stepped forward, the breeze rippling across his T-shirt and shorts.  “Like yesterday, there are plenty of spectating opportunities to take advantage of today as well as tomorrow to cheer for Team Japan.  Many are right at Riocentro for badminton, table tennis, etc., or at Barra Olympic Park—synchro and diving for example.”

“Did they fix the green water?” Konishi asked, glancing at Haru aside.  “Cover your ears, Nanase.”

_Nn._   Haru pursed his lips as their teammates chuckled.  _I’ve seen the pictures._

“Yeah, they got that sorted out,” Ikehara said.  “Anyways, I encourage you to check out as much as possible and not just hang around beach volleyball all day.”

_We didn’t get to spectate yesterday_.  Not that he would’ve traded a minute of their visit to Rocinha, but it would be nice to support the broader team.  _So many of them came and cheered us on in swimming._

Rin draped an arm around his shoulders.  “Wanna catch some events at the park after our meetings?”

Haru nodded, pleased.

“After that, we should hit the gym at least a little.”  Rin frowned.  “We’re gonna lose all of our conditioning from so much stupid taper.”

_There it is_.  Haru smiled to himself.

-x-

The café was a block from the beach, down a tree-lined street of tall apartment buildings.  An awning provided shade for a few outdoor tables, the small establishment tucked between a pizzeria and a shop that immediately had Haru’s attention—there was a surfboard outside, rash guards and goggles on display inside the glass windows, and a shark on the logo.  He moved closer, examining a long-sleeve black rash guard with the store name— _acquatic_ —across the chest and a small shark in white on the hip.

Rin pulled on his arm.  “We’re not early.”

“But you’d look good in that.”  Haru pointed at the garment.

The pulling stopped, Rin coming even with him.  Their reflection in the glass was green and golden yellow, both of them in their _Brasil_ T-shirts from Rocinha, plus shorts and flipflops, Haru carrying the backpack.

Rin lifted his sunglasses.  “I would definitely rock that.”  Consideration flickered in scarlet eyes for half a second at most—  “Alright, we’re stopping in after.”  He turned away from the window, drawing Haru along by an elbow.

Bemused, Haru smiled, letting Rin lead him into the café.  He took off his shades inside, tucking them into the neck of his green T-shirt and blinking to let his eyes adjust.  The interior was honeyed wood with the counter on the right, with pastries on trays behind glass and mugs stacked on a shelf against the wall.  On the left, there was a single row of circular tables, each tabletop a colorful mosaic of small shards of tile in different patterns.  The place was packed—lively with chatter and the sounds of the espresso machine, the air filled with the aroma of fresh coffee.

Towards the back of the café, Director Kaya was waving at them from a table for four.  She wore a black polo shirt, her strawberry-blond hair held back by a set of tortoise shell sunglasses.  With her was a woman with chestnut brown hair gathered into a ponytail and a short-sleeve blouse with a floral pattern.  There was a softness to the woman’s facial features and a rosy warmth in her cheeks.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Kaya said, the two women getting to their feet as Haru and Rin approached the table.  “Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, I’d like you to meet Sumida Chihiro-san.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” Sumida said, extending her hand across the table.  “Congratulations on an amazing week!  It’s been so exciting to watch you swim.” 

“Please, the pleasure is ours,” Rin said, offering one of his best smiles as they shook hands.

“Ah.”  Haru dipped his head, offering his hand in turn.

Sumida smiled as they shook.  “I’ve been looking forward to this ever since Director Kaya contacted me.  It’s truly an honor.”  The heartfelt sincerity in her whole manner made Haru blush, as if he were someone rare and special.

_I just like to swim a lot._  

They all sat down, Haru tucking the backpack beside his wooden chair where it wouldn’t be in the way.  On the table was a basket of bread, plates of sliced meats and cheeses, jam, butter, and a carafe of orange juice.  The mosaic beneath was green and blue with veins of deep red and a scatter of opalescent tile shards.

“Help yourselves!”  Director Kaya gestured to the food.  “As we eat, Sumida-san can tell you about her organization and the ideas we’ve discussed.  I think you’ll be pleased, Nanase-kun.  I met with several groups when Tsuchiya-san gave me the go-ahead—all wonderful individuals and organizations doing incredible work.  But I just knew, the moment I met Sumida-san, that this would be the perfect match for what we had in mind.”

“I will endeavor to live up to the Director’s expectations,” Sumida said with a good-natured smile and a slight wince.  “No pressure there at all…”

“None intended!”  Kaya smiled brightly.  “Juice?” she asked, reaching for the carafe.

“Please allow me,” Rin said, gathering the glasses and pouring for all of them.

“ _Itadakimasu_ —”

Haru munched on a slice of toast with a thin layer of butter and jam while Rin stacked ham and cheese on part of a roll.

Sumida placed a colorful brochure on the table, the front picture a group of smiling, school-aged children beside a standpipe with water jugs in their arms.  “Given that you signed up for our digital newsletter back in May, I assume you’re somewhat familiar with our work, Nanase-kun.  Please forgive me for reviewing information you already know.”

Rin glanced at him askance, Haru wiping his mouth with his napkin and meeting his boyfriend’s gaze, slightly sheepish.

_That was before you found me in the shower._

He didn’t have to say anything.  Rin’s eyes gentled as if he knew.

“We’re an international non-profit organization with headquarters all over the world.  Our goal, or mission, is to see every child have all the basic necessities of life—food, clean water, healthcare, education—so that they can thrive.  In many places, so much of a child’s life is simply a fight for survival—we want to end that, one child, one community at a time.  It’s no small task, obviously, and sometimes it seems entirely daunting and overwhelming…”  Sumida paused, the weight in her smile and in her eyes offering a glimpse of the stories underneath, of things seen and experienced that Haru couldn’t begin to fathom.  “…But there’s always been _something_ we could do and for that one child or one community, even that much can change everything.”

Hope—it was about _hope_.  The word, even over the last twenty-four hours, had grown to mean so much to him.

“Specific to your passion, Nanase-kun, I’ve brought information on several of our clean water projects.  Director Kaya shared with me about your visit to Rocinha yesterday.  While we do have filtration projects in a few of Rio’s favelas, most of our work is in rural and developing areas where access is the main challenge.”  Sumida opened the brochure, showing them pictures of pipelines, wells, and storage tanks.  “Our team of water engineers surveys the area and meets with the community.  Once we locate a clean water supply—whether that’s a river in the mountains or by drilling for a well—we work with the community to determine where the water needs to go and draw up plans to get it there.  Then it’s the hard work of digging trenches, installing pipelines, building water tanks…  These are not quick projects—it takes an investment of time and money and resources.  But in the end—” she tapped a photo of a celebration with dancing and musical instruments and more children proudly displaying their jugs of water “—it’s all worth it when the families have clean water.  We also teach the community how to maintain and repair the equipment, so it’s a long-term solution, not a short-term fix that will fail them in a season or two.”

Haru reached for Rin’s hand beneath the table, interlacing their fingers tightly.  _I want to help._   Captain Ikehara’s suggestion in May had been the first inkling, but now, after every sight he’d seen with Rin, after all they’d accomplished together thus far—hope was no longer a fragile thread to cling to.  It was a rope to hold onto, a ladder he could— _they_ could—climb.  He felt a fresh welling of it inside him as Rin squeezed back, the feeling as strong and ardent as any time they were in the pool racing—

“That said, we also do disaster relief, bringing in water sources when there’s a specific shortage—”

“—How can we help?” Haru asked.

Both Director Kaya and Sumida looked startled by his question, or maybe it was the fervor in his voice.

The women exchanged a glance and Sumida smiled.  “Well, Nanase-kun, talk of finances is always awkward, but that is what it takes.  We hold fundraisers several times a year and we partner with individuals and groups to organize local events as well.  It can be anything as small as a bake sale—”

_Saba bake sale?_   Haru perked up.

Rin sighed.

“—to an event for the whole community, such as a fun run, walk-a-thon, or even a show.”

The show idea wasn’t a bad one, Haru pressing his lips as he indulged in memories of Rin rocking their makeshift catwalk at the Opening Ceremonies or owning Takara at English karaoke.  _I bet we’d make a ton of money._

Rin peered at him, a wary look on his face.

Amused, Haru relented.  “What’s a walk-a-thon?”

“It’s where each individual gets donors to pledge an amount of money per kilometer, for example.  Then, at the end, the donors give based on how far each person walked.”

_I’m not great on land, but I can swim pretty far._ If he really tried, he was sure he could do a 10k like Takara and the marathon swimmers today.  Not at race speeds, but…  “We could do a swim-a-thon?”

“Exactly, Nanase-kun!”  Director Kaya clapped her hands together.  “Wouldn’t that be great?  You and a few of your friends and teammates could hold an event right in Tokyo—”

Haru’s heart started to pound.  _I could really do this_.  He knew if he asked Makoto, Nagisa, and Rei...

“Haru.”  Rin squeezed his hand.  “What about a relay?”

Haru’s breath caught.  “Relay?” 

Rin smiled knowingly.  “Like…you swim laps until you get tired, then I take over.  When I get tired, you dive in and start again—”

His eyes widened.  _A…never-ending relay?_

“If we talked Mikoshiba and Takara into it too, maybe even some of the others, I bet we could go all day and all night long—”

“ _Rin_ —”  Haru gripped his lover’s hand, emotion and excitement rising in his chest like a wave.

“It’d be an endless relay.”  Rin’s smile turned sly.  “Want to?”

_I want to_.  He was quivering, he wanted it so badly.  It took every bit of self-control he had to keep himself from tackling Rin with a hug in the middle of the café.

Rin chuckled, turning back to their hosts.  “That’s a yes.  He just can’t, uh, talk right now.  Would that work?  A twenty-four hour endless relay?”

“Would that work?”  Director Kaya was almost squealing.  “It’s perfect!  Even better than a swim-a-thon!  The Rio relay-medalists…  I can _see_ the posters already—  Though, I should let _you_ answer, Sumida-san.”

“That…would be incredible.”  Sumida’s eyes were warm and gleaming.  “Matsuoka-kun, thank you, I…”

“This whole thing is Haru’s idea.  I’m here to support him as much as I can.”

_Rin…_   Haru’s heart was filled to bursting.  _I love you so much_.  There were no words and damn this not having a ring or proposing publicly or kissing Rin’s lips until they reddened.  Haru sat back in his chair, managing a grunt but nothing that could really be considered language.

Rin smiled like he knew it all, his eyes replete with affection.  Beneath the table, Rin’s thumb running over Haru’s knuckles in a caress was a wordless, _I love you too._

-x-

Haru partially recovered his faculties by the end of the meal, at least enough to say proper goodbyes as Director Kaya and Sumida headed off, leaving them in front of the café.  But the sunlight was glinting off Rin’s hair and sunglasses, Haru could still smell the ocean, and Rin hadn’t let go of his hand.  The emotion inside him hadn’t lessened at all.

Haru exhaled hard and donned his shades.  “If you tell me to save it for the Village, I think I can, but…”  He glanced aside at Rin.  “I really want to hug you right now.”

“Hmm…”  Rin’s eyes glittered behind tinted lenses.  “We’re a block away from the beach and all of the press…  Good thing I don’t care—”

Haru crashed into his lover, knocking Rin back a step or two though they stayed on their feet.  He hugged Rin around the waist, so in love he was shaking.  “Rin—”

“I know,” Rin whispered.  There was emotion in his voice too.  “Haru, thanks for letting me be a part of this with you.”

Haru’s lungs emptied in a rush.  He pulled back—not because of the stares they were gathering, but because if he held Rin one second longer there was going to be a lot more than hugging and they’d definitely make the Internet.  Thank God for the sunglasses hiding the moisture in his eyes.

Rin quirked a brow in question.

“Village,” Haru muttered.

Rin smiled.  “I thought we were going shopping first?”

_Oh._   Haru considered for a moment.  They were standing right in front of the store; in the window was the black rash guard with the shark on the hip.  Beside it was a matching blue one…  “Shopping, then Village.”

Rin chuckled, slipping an arm around his shoulders and guiding him towards the entrance.

-x-

Their apartment was quiet when they got back, mid-afternoon.  Mikoshiba was likely training for tomorrow and who knew what Momo was up to. 

All Haru cared about was the feel of Rin’s mouth on his, their tongues gliding together as they undressed each other in the bathroom and stepped under warm shower spray to wash off sand, sunscreen, and insect repellent.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Rin murmured between kisses.  “We’re getting picked up at three.”  Rin’s fingertips, raking deliciously through Haru’s hair, wrought sweet ripples of pleasure through his frame. 

“We don’t have time for _that_ , you mean.”  Haru ran slick hands across Rin’s abdomen, continuing teasing caresses over Rin’s hipbones and down the outsides of his thighs.  “But we have time for something.”

Rin grunted in reply, his scarlet eyes flashing with desire.  As their lips met again, Haru cranked off the shower.  They didn’t bother to dry off, leaving a trail of wet footsteps from there to the bed.

-x-

They were on-time for transportation (barely), climbing into the back of the car in clean Team Japan T-shirts and shorts.  Rin set their backpack on the seat between them and used it for an armrest, which was an invitation if Haru had ever seen one.  As the car pulled away from the transportation mall, Haru looked out the window as he brushed his hand along Rin’s arm—

Rin captured his hand.  “Subtle, Haru,” he murmured.

Haru tossed his lover a smirk and interwove their fingers.

Twenty minutes later, the car was pulling up to the curb at the _Cidade das Artes_ , though at a distance to the crowds and the main entrance of Japan House.  Tsuchiya was waiting for them, slipping her phone into the pocket of her ankle-length slacks as they got out of the car.  Her short-sleeved jacket matched her pants—navy blue—and her blouse beneath was white and silvery-gray. 

“Good afternoon, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun,” she said, holding up a hand to shade her eyes from the sun.

They both bowed politely.  “Tsuchiya-san.”

“My apologies for bringing you out of the way for this.  The two of you have better ways to spend your days off than in back-to-back meetings.”

“It’s OK,” Haru said as he straightened.  “We prioritized.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Rin’s brow twitch, a hint of color rising in his cheeks.

“All the same, we’ll keep this crisp.”  Tsuchiya gestured for them to follow.

They bypassed the exhibition hall, heading to an upper floor and towards a set of glass doors bearing Tokyo 2020 posters. 

A man with a JOC pin on his lapel opened the door for them.  “Welcome, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

The room inside was a large, open space converted into a temporary office.  Long tables were arranged in rows with power strips, ethernet drops, and stacks of binders; several people were working on laptops, a few simultaneously making phone calls.  Two freestanding screens at the front of the room were showing live Olympic feeds—gymnastics on the left and diving on the right.  One whole wall was windows facing greenery and the mountains, with the towers of the Athletes’ Village in the distance to the west.

Glass doors led out to a balcony, which seemed to be where Tsuchiya was headed.  As they crossed the room, people waved and greeted them by name.  Haru nodded in reply.  It was becoming a normal thing—everyone knowing his name and Rin’s without ever being formally introduced.

Beyond the glass, Haru saw two people sitting at a table with bottled iced tea, talking and jotting notes in notepads.  He recognized the sports anchors from Maekawa’s interview yesterday.  The table was in the shade from the building; the balcony overlooking the lawns and reflecting pools down below.  The anchors looked up as Tsuchiya opened the door, their chairs scraping lightly against the concrete floor as they got to their feet and came over.

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.”  The woman wore a sunny blouse with cap sleeves and a bow at the neck, small drop earrings, and cropped slacks.  “It’s wonderful to finally meet you.  My name is Nishida Riko.”  She gave them both business cards.  “And this is my co-anchor, Tanabe Kenji.”

“It’s a pleasure.”  The man had a firm handshake.  He wore a polo shirt and beige trousers.

“Thanks for taking the time to meet with us,” Nishida said.  “I promised Tsuchiya-san we’d make this quick for today.  Would you like something to drink?”  She gestured to the bottle of tea on the table.  “Or water or pretty much anything else.”

The bottle was chilled green tea from home—like he hadn’t had in months.  It wasn’t decaffeinated, but that was rare enough _in_ Japan that Haru wasn’t about to complain.  He dipped his head.  “Thank you.”

“Matsuoka-kun?”

“Please,” Rin said.

They sat down as Tanabe poured tea over ice and set the glasses in front of them.  The beverage was cold and pleasantly bitter.  Haru savored each sip.

“I’ll be right inside if you need anything,” Tsuchiya said, pausing at the door before she headed back into the building.

Nishida and Tanabe waited until she’d gone.  “She’ll be back in exactly ten minutes,” Nishida said.

“Sooner if the two of you appear even the least bit uncomfortable,” Tanabe said, leaning back in his chair with an easy smile.

“Should we be worried?” Rin asked, one brow lifted as he set his glass down on the table.  He settled into his chair with his elbows on the armrests, looking relaxed and every bit as charming as their hosts.  It was so effortless for him; Haru could admit being jealous.

“I swear we’re harmless.”  Nishida smiled.  “The whole point of this meeting is to set you at ease.  We want tomorrow’s interview to be fun, for the conversation to flow.  That won’t happen if we stumble onto landmines.”

“Or, worse, if it feels like we’re trying to talk you into a corner,” Tanabe said.

“Your fans are dying to get to know you.”  Nishida turned to a fresh page in her notebook.  “We want to offer them a glimpse—as much or as little as you’re willing to share.”

“Fans?” Haru murmured.

“You’ve made quite the stir on social media, particularly after Barcelona and especially after your swimsuit campaign hit the press.  But, all it takes is one Olympic medal for everything to explode, and to _start_ with your gold medal tie with Damien Andrews, Nanase-kun…”  Nishida shook her head.  “The two of you became household names and worldwide sensations _overnight_.  Now—one week later—that’s somewhat overshadowed by Andrews’ retirement, but at home in Japan, the buzz hasn’t let up at all.”

Meaning…going home was probably going to be annoying, not that there was anything he could do about it.

“The unofficial media that’s out there is getting a lot of attention.”  Tanabe refilled Nishida’s glass for her.  “Like your karaoke video from Rome, Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin winced.

“And all of your Mixed Zone PDA,” Nishida said. 

Haru’s cheeks warmed. 

Nishida smoothed the page in front of her.  “As I said, we have no intention of forcing topics you’re not interested in talking about.  If you only want to answer questions about swimming and maybe throw in a couple of personal anecdotes, we can do that.”

Director Kaya’s words from yesterday came to mind, _Are you opposed to the world knowing you’re in love?_

“But we’d really like to ask you a few questions about Barcelona if you’d be open to it.”

“Haru.”  Rin glanced over, reaching for his hand.

Haru took Rin’s hand.  His face was hot, but he instantly felt braver with their fingers laced together. 

“As long as it’s nothing too private, I think we’re OK with it,” Rin said.

Haru nodded. 

“Nothing invasive or out of line.  We’re not looking to embarrass you, or risk Tsuchiya-san’s wrath,” Tanabe said.  “Not to mention Saeki-san and the rest of the JOC.”

Nishida made notes on her page.  “We’ll keep it light and flexible.  That way you’ll have the option of going into detail or not.  How you managed to finagle your way to Barcelona in the first place, Matsuoka-kun, is definitely a story we and your fans are interested to hear.”

Rin cleared his throat.  “As long as I wouldn’t get anyone in trouble.  Our coaches made quite a few exceptions on our behalf.”

Tanabe uncapped his pen.  “Feel free to edit the logistics as much as you like.  It’s more the why—the emotional side of it—that we’re looking for.  To give the audience that feeling of connecting with the two of you.”

Rin shrugged.  “Alright.”

“Speaking of logistics, since this interview is primarily for your Japanese fans, we’ll interview you in Japanese.  So you won’t have to worry about going through an interpreter.”

_That makes it easier_.  He could’ve managed the English, but it was nice to have one less thing to worry about.  Thinking of what to say would be enough of a challenge.

“And we _will_ ask swimming questions,” Nishida said.  “As well as talking a bit about Tokyo 2020 and your rivalries with Damien Andrews, Ethan McInnes, and Sugiyama-kun.  But this is also a good opportunity to talk about specific interests and passions you have.”

“Like the water?” Haru asked.

Nishida nodded.  “And your visit with the children in Rocinha yesterday.  Director Kaya and Haseda-san said they’d share a few photos we can talk to.”

Through their clasped hands, Haru felt the way Rin gathered himself with a breath.

“We’ll have questions for both of you on that.”  Tanabe wrote on his notepad.  “Anything specific on your mind that you’d like to bring up, Matsuoka-kun?”

“It’s that obvious, huh?”  Rin’s smile was rueful.

“It’s our job to read people,” Nishida said.

Rin’s fingers tightened around Haru’s.  “I’d…like to talk about my dad if that would be OK.”

Tanabe nodded.  “You’ve mentioned him before as one of your inspirations for swimming.”

“Hai.”  Rin paused before continuing.  “He passed away when I was just a kid.”

“We are very sorry for your loss, Matsuoka-kun,” Nishida said, her voice gentle.  Neither of them seemed surprised.

“You knew already?” Rin asked.

The sports anchors nodded.  “We’ve done our homework to prepare for this interview,” Tanabe said.

Nishida’s face was compassionate.  “As we mentioned before, we want to avoid tripping into things—”

“I want to try talking about him a little,” Rin said.

_Rin_.  Haru squeezed his boyfriend’s hand, knowing the effort it took for Rin to put that out there.

“Sure.  If we build off your inspiration for swimming, would that be a comfortable segue for you?”

Rin swallowed, nodding.  His eyes gleamed faintly.  “Thanks.”

The anchors steered the conversation smoothly to other topics after that.  Rin seemed relaxed, but in a different way than before.  Haru could almost see the clouds lifting from his shoulders, the way his smile was even more genuine, and the relief in his eyes.

At ten minutes to the second, Tsuchiya came to get them.

-x-

They got dropped off at the Olympic Park afterwards, cruising from one venue to the next with the other spectating athletes.  The diving pool wasn’t green anymore, but it was still slightly murky in Haru’s opinion.  It seemed like every ten minutes, someone else was asking for an autograph.  Haru’s hand cramped after a while from signing so many Olympic magazines and notebooks.  At least he was doing better about smiling for fan pictures. 

As the day wore on, they ended up in Riocentro, adjacent to the Athletes’ Village, taking in women’s singles badminton—which would’ve been better involving a pool, in Haru’s opinion. 

“—The physics wouldn’t _work_ , Haru.”

They were leaning against the rail on the upper deck, overlooking the field of play.  “I didn’t say it had to be a _deep_ pool.  Just like…to the ankles.”  _That would be enough._

Rin rolled his eyes. 

Two Japanese women were competing; both won their matches.

Towards dinner time—normal dinner time—they headed back to the Village, strolling hand-in-hand once they were back within the gates.

“We should do an hour of dryland, minimum,” Rin said as they approached their tower.  “Weights, cardio…”

_Nn.  I haven’t gotten to swim at all today._

They were nearing the entrance when the doors opened and a whole group of their teammates strode out in beach wear and party clothes.

“Haruka!  Matsuoka!”  Takara wore a sundress over her swimsuit, her long black hair loose around her shoulders.  “Hurry up and get changed!  We’re going out for samba and drinks!”

_Samba?_   Haru perked up immediately.

“That’s sa _m_ -ba, Nanase-kun,” Ozawa said, blowing him a kiss.

Haru pursed his lips.  _I heard it right this time._

Takara got behind them, pushing them towards the doors.  “Come _on_ , ditch the uniforms!”

“ _Oi_.”  Rin scowled, twisting free.

Haru glanced at his lover askance.  _Samba counts as dryland._   His mind was filled with memories from São Paulo, of music and dancing the night away until they got in trouble—

Rin sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.  “Not fair with the pool eyes, Haru.”

_They’re not pool eyes, Rin._ “I want to dance with you.”

A startled blush darkened Rin’s cheeks, his eyes flaring wide.

Their teammates _awww’ed_ and whistled.  “Look, he’s speechless.”  “Get him, Nanase!”

Rin cleared his throat, his face still red as he composed himself.  “Five minutes, Sakamoto.”  He grabbed Haru’s hand.

Smirking, Takara gave them a thumbs-up. 

Haru’s heart thrilled within him as Rin pulled him through the doors and into their tower.  They got to the elevator, waiting with a small crowd of other Japanese athletes.  Rin leaned close, his voice lowered to a whisper—

“ _Eu te amo, Haru_.”  In their reflection in the polished elevator doors, Rin was smiling, looking happy, content…  _Shining_ didn’t cut it—Rin was dazzling, incandescent like fireworks—

_Rin_ …  His lips formed the name but no sound came out.  Haru gripped Rin’s hand, the warmth and joy effervescent inside him.  He couldn’t help but smile back.


	39. The individual medley of coming home, reprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teen version on [ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/39/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams).
> 
> DestiniesEntwined, BigYaoiFan, and ciprianoivashkov specifically mentioned the samba, so I added a bit more than I originally had planned. I hope you enjoy it! ♥️

* * *

Monday, August 15th, 2016 (continued)

* * *

The party was _on_ the beach, spilling from an open-air restaurant and bar on the sidewalk straight onto the sand.  A crowd of people danced and mingled beneath yellow, blue, and white lights, surrounding a live band.  It wasn’t the mellow, melodic samba Rin remembered from the park in São Paulo, this was _all_ percussion—drums, _tamborin_ , and _agogô_ bells—at heart-racing tempos.  Even at a distance, the energy of it filled the air and no one seemed to mind the breezy night or the clouds rolling in to threaten rain.

Takara, Ozawa, and Konishi were chattering excitedly up ahead with Koda and Nakagawa in tow as they headed towards the establishment from the bus stop.

Rin trailed behind, pulling his phone from the pocket of his steel gray jeans.

“What are you doing?” Haru asked, slowing with him.

“Setting an alarm for later.”  _Eleven-thirty should be good_.  That ought to give them plenty of time to corral their teammates—their drunk teammates—to the midnight bus back to the Athletes’ Village in time for curfew.     

“Are you done yet?”

 _Someone’s impatient._   Rin arched a brow, finishing up and shoving the device back into his pocket.  The breeze played with the collar of Haru’s short-sleeved, button-down shirt, lifting the hem for tantalizing glimpses of skin above the waistband of his Málaga boardshorts.  Rin met Haru’s gaze—shimmering water-blue eyes that were fastened on _him_ —  His heartrate picked up instantly, warmth prickling on his skin beneath his loose, V-neck T-shirt.  Rin cleared his throat.  “Yeah, done.”

Haru grabbed his hand.  As their teammates aimed for the bar, Rin and Haru made a beeline for the music—

They kicked off their shoes, the cool sand enveloping Rin’s toes as they wove their way into the crowd.  All around them, people were dancing and clapping, shifting from normal to double-time samba as the _batucada_ rhythms dictated.  Talking was impossible and it wasn’t like Rin _remembered_ the steps they’d tried weeks ago in São Paulo (he doubted Haru did either), but he stopped caring about embarrassing himself the second Haru’s hand slipped under his T-shirt and gripped his bare waist.  With a grin, Rin reeled his lover in close, fingering the collar of Haru’s shirt.  Haru’s eyes were dark like the seawater crashing on shore as they started to dance.

…The band never let up.  Rin worked up a sweat quickly in the humid, sea-salt air, even after stopping to put his hair up.  It was as much Haru’s fault as the samba’s.  Teasing brushes of hands and hips meant that nothing in the pockets of his skin-tight jeans was a mystery anymore (and his square legs were compressing but they didn’t hide everything...).  He’d answered by furtively undoing the buttons on Haru’s shirt one at a time—with others dancing in their swimsuits, fewer clothes seemed entirely justified.  Rin worked the last button free— _finally_ —and slid his hands underneath, his palms against his lover’s waist.  Haru’s skin was just as tacky with sweat and the exposed curve of his shoulder where his shirt fell away looked really inviting.  _Far_ too inviting for a crowded, public dance floor.  _Damnit_. 

Rin growled beneath his breath, scraping his fingertips across Haru’s obliques as he drew back and tried to concentrate on his footwork—a task made harder by the playful, knowing look in blue eyes.  When the drums went double-time, he almost groaned, bracing his hand against Haru’s as they tried their best to catch up.  A few flubbed steps and stubbed toes later, they were laughing and breathless as the percussion ensemble resumed a normal rhythm.

 _We need air_.  Rin tugged on Haru’s hand, cutting a path through the crowd to the open sand.  A light mist was just starting to fall, the air tasting like saltwater.  The crash of the waves mixed with the rapid beat of the drums.

Slipping his arms around Haru’s neck, Rin eyed his lover’s lips.  “If we were in the Village, I’d kiss you.”

Haru cocked a brow.  His hands settled on Rin’s hips, thumbs sneaking under his shirt and brushing across bone and muscle.  “If we were in the Village, I’d take you to bed.”  He gestured with a tilt of his head to the couples nearby, several of whom were getting hot and heavy down on the sand.  “No one’s gonna care if you kiss me, Rin.”

Like he needed much convincing.  Rin tightened his arms, sealing his mouth over Haru’s.  He tasted salt in their kiss, the tang of their sweat, biting lightly on Haru’s lower lip before he slid his tongue inside.  Haru’s groan was muffled, then he was kissing Rin back with fervor, his fingers digging into Rin’s hips—

They broke apart, breathless—no more recovered than when they’d left the dance floor. 

Haru rolled his lips between his teeth and Rin’s stomach dropped, watching Haru taste their kiss.

“When are we heading back?” Haru asked.

Rin snorted.  “You’re the one who wanted to come out here.”

Haru’s gaze flicked to the skyline above the beach.  “We could see if there’s a room available.  I heard flashing gold medals works wonders.”

Rin’s face went hot.  “Curfew, Haru.  We’d need permission.”

“That’s what email’s for.”

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “Anyways, I didn’t bring—”

“I did.”

His cheeks burned and his heart pounded as he met his lover’s gaze.

There was an airy smile on Haru’s lips.  “Wishful thinking.  But, I wanted to be prepared, just in case.”

“Haru…”

Haru leaned in, kissing him lightly on the mouth.  “And we’re not ditching our teammates.  Just, if we _happened_ to get stuck somewhere alone…”

Rin grunted against Haru’s lips.  “Don’t tempt me.”

Haru’s smile broadened.  He wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist—

“Haruka!”

 _Damnit, Sakamoto_.

They untangled themselves and turned towards her voice.

It was the first time Takara didn’t have a drink in her hand; still, she looked surprisingly sober as she waved to them with the others in tow.  “Come on, we’re gonna go cool off.  The Australians invited us.”

 _That’s 100% a bad idea._   Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  “ _Or_ , we could head back to the Village…”

“There’s a rooftop pool.”

“Where?”  Haru grabbed Rin’s hand, dragging him up the beach.

Takara smirked, pointing at a hotel across the street.

_Well, fuck._

-x-

Hotel staff didn’t bat an eyelash about the seven of them walking in like they owned the place and heading for the elevators.  Ozawa, Nakagawa, and Koda were leading while Rin and Haru trailed behind with Takara and Konishi.  They passed a crowded lobby bar with black leather furniture and bright red accent pillows off to the right.  The front desk was on the left with the glowing elevator foyer just beyond.  Guests did double-takes, Rin hearing a mix of languages to accompany the confused looks.

 _They probably don’t recognize us without goggles and swim caps._   As long as Takara didn’t open her mouth and butcher some English, they’d likely be fine.  _Are we trespassing?_   The thought stuck in Rin’s mind as they boarded the elevator, Nakagawa hitting the button for the roof.  It wasn’t as though being invited by the Australian team was a good excuse—none of them were hotel guests either (unless they’d pulled the medal trick).  But there was no point arguing with Haru and his full-on pool eyes.  Haru hadn’t gotten any water time today, so Rin didn’t stand a chance.

He could hear the thumping bass before the elevator doors opened to a glass porch.  The music was deafening, the atrium leading out to a crowded open-air pool and bar with tall glass walls overlooking the beach where they’d been.  The DJ was on an upper deck and the area was lit by blue and red spotlights, the pool glowing from submerged lighting. 

“ _Mai, you made it!_ ”  Dillon Lee, the Australian butterfly swimmer, joined them in a T-shirt and shorts with two bottles of Corona dangling from his fingers.  He greeted Nakagawa with a kiss on the lips, handing her one of the beers.

 _Huh_.  Rin hadn’t realized they were—

Haru’s shirt hit Rin’s ankles, followed by his boardshorts.

“Haru—”  Rin’s protest died in his throat as Haru jumped into the pool in the skimpy black and purple speedo he usually wore for shaving down.

A familiar catcall hit Rin’s ears.  “ _Someone came ready to party_ ,” Ty said, laughing as he made his way over.  He was wearing square legs in black, green, and gold, his only accessory a half-full beer bottle in one hand.  “ _You need a drink, mate_.”

Rin scowled, snatching up Haru’s clothes and shoes.  “ _No thanks_.”

Ty shrugged.  “ _Suit yourself_.”  He turned to Konishi and Takara.  “ _First round’s on me, loves_.”

“ _He’s a keeper_ ,” Takara said, slipping her arm through Ty’s.  “ _Lead on, honey_.”

“ _Come on, Rin.  At least grab something to pretend with_ ,” Ty said.

Rin sighed.  _I wouldn’t mind some water_.  His throat was still parched from the beach, the DJ was killing it, and Haru was in that speedo Rin wanted to pull off with his teeth.  Fuck not being in the Village.  If they were, he wouldn’t have to worry about curfew or _adulting_ —

“Rin.”

Rin’s breath caught at the sound of Haru’s voice.  He turned…

Haru was standing in the center of the pool, dripping wet as he shook the water from his hair.  His skin was gilded blue from the spotlights, as blue as his eyes.  Haru brushed droplets from his face, the shark and dolphin bracelet on his wrist, and leveled his gaze in a look Rin felt all the way down to his toes.

The air left Rin’s lungs in a rush.  He peeled off his T-shirt and jeans, leaving their stuff in a pile, and jumped in.

The water was shoulder-deep and blissfully cool; Rin raked his wet hair back as he surfaced—

Arms twined around his waist, Haru’s body suddenly flush to his…  Rin instantly sucked at breathing, seized by live-wire sensations racing across his nerves wherever their skin touched.  He swallowed hard, eyeing Haru’s lips as he gingerly settled his arms over Haru’s shoulders.

“Still not in the Village,” he whispered, but the words hardly sounded convincing even to his own ears.

Haru’s eyes glittered, one hand gliding across Rin’s hip.  “We can keep the action underwater.”

“Haru!”

Haru smiled and leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss to Rin’s cheek.  “I’ll behave.”

The disappointment was immediate; he couldn’t keep it from showing.

Haru arched a brow.

Rin threaded his fingers into Haru’s hair, ignoring the heat in his face.  “A _little_ misbehaving’s OK with me.”

“Rin—”  Haru’s exhale was hard.

He had one split-second to draw a breath before Haru pushed off the bottom, Rin falling backwards.  As the cool water encased them, Haru’s lips were warm against his.

-x-

Rin and Haru eventually took a break for sustenance, plus Ty and Takara had claimed the center of the 10m pool for a drunken IM swim-off with the crowd watching and cheering.

 _You two look ridiculous._   Rin flicked his eyes skyward, his arm draped across Haru’s shoulders as they waited in line at the bar.

“Like you never did stuff like that growing up in Australia.”

 _“Oi.”_   Rin scowled at the smirk on his lover’s face.  “No comment.”

They got to the front of the line, Rin trying to remember the words Haseda had used last night to order them non-alcoholic _caipirinhas_ —

The bartender, in a black polo piped with white, had a blender going behind the granite bar.  He poured a frothy, pale yellow concoction into short tumblers, garnishing both glasses with wedges of pineapple.  Rin got a whiff of coconut.

“I want that,” Haru said, his eyes wide.

“Haru—”

The bartender said something to them in Portuguese, placing cocktail napkins on the granite and the tumblers on top—right in front of them.

_Wait, what?_

The man smiled and gestured down the bar.  “ _Courtesy of the ladies over there_.”

Rin glanced that direction, his face going hot at the sight of two dark-haired women in bikinis waving at them and raising glasses in toast.

Haru picked up his glass, nodded to them, and drank.

“ _Oi!_   Don’t just—”

“What?”  Haru shrugged.  “It would be rude to refuse.”

“You can still say no!”  Rin glared at his boyfriend.  “There’s alcohol in there.”

Haru considered the drink for a moment and sipped again.  “Probably.  I _am_ twenty, Rin.”

_Damnit, Haru._

“Or…”  Haru’s gaze turned sly.  “Does it make you jealous?  Because…”  He moved dangerously close, slipping his free arm around Rin’s waist.  “I’m pretty sure it’s obvious I’m here with _you_.”

The heat in Rin’s face went from mild to flaming—all the way to the tips of his ears.  He glanced at the women again and found one of them nearly squealing, the other giving them a thumbs-up. 

 _…Great._   Rin rubbed a hand over his face, Haru continuing to blithely drink while pressed up against him.  Their teammates were no help.  Takara and Ty were still racing each other across the tiny pool and Konishi was cheering them on, bottle in hand.  Nakagawa and Dillon were getting _really_ comfortable on a nearby lounge chair, and Koda and Ozawa were on the upper deck, dancing with Australians like they weren’t trying to make each other jealous.

 _Fuck!_   “Why am I the only adult here?  I’m the youngest one of all of you!”

Haru lifted a brow and his glass.  “Want a sip?  It’s fruity and delicious.”

The tang of the pineapple and coconut was right under his nose; the sheen of the drink glossy on Haru’s lips.  “Fucking give me that,” Rin muttered, grabbing Haru’s hand as he took a sip from his lover’s glass.  The cold, sweet beverage went down easy—it tasted like a smoothie; almost a milkshake.  It wasn’t bad.  He sipped again.

Haru frowned, retracting the glass.  “You have your own.”

“I’m only drinking one,” Rin said, picking up his tumbler from the counter.  He nodded to the women, who grinned and waved back.  “And if I have to haul your ass back to the Village—”

“Princess-style?”  Haru clinked their glasses together. 

Mmph…  Rin pressed his lips.  “Deal.”

-x-

“I only swim free.”

“Haru, you said that, like, five times.”

They were sitting on the edge of the pool with their legs dangling into the water, sipping their drinks (Rin was sipping; Haru’s was practically empty), while Ty and Takara had taken to racing hotel guests.  Even drunk, it was hardly fair.  But the non-Olympians seemed to be enjoying themselves, so that was something.

“You have to think too much in IM.  You can’t just feel the water.”

“Think too much?” Rin lifted a brow.

Haru nodded, taking another drink from his dwindling beverage.  “Fly-back-breast-free.  You have to remember which stroke you’re on, which lap, what’s next.”  He snorted.  “It’s way too much effort.  Especially the short course four hundred—four lengths each.”

Rin smiled. 

“But in _free_.”  Haru grabbed his arm.  “You just _move_ through the water, feel it surrounding you…  The water accepts you, so you don’t have to fight.  You can just _be_ with it.”

Rin’s amusement grew.  “You’re talkative when you’re tipsy, Haru.”

Haru frowned.  “I am not.”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”  He turned his head, kissing Haru’s knuckles and slipping his hand up his lover’s back and into damp shards of black hair.  As Haru pressed into his touch, Rin leaned in, kissing jaw, cheek, earlobe…

“Mm.  You’re not embarrassed, Rin?”

“I’m feeling pretty mellow.”  _And that part about ditching our teammates seems better all the time._   Their lips met with a brief sweep of tongue, the kiss tasting like ripe pineapple.

They broke apart when a splash of water hit their legs, a party-goer jumping into the pool.  Ty and Takara were in-between races, taking a break.

Rin sipped from his glass.  “ _Oi, Ty._ ”

Ty twisted away from Takara to look at him.  “ _Yeah?_ ”

“ _You ever screw up the order in IM?_ ”

“ _No, never.  You’d have to be a_ —”

“ _Short course?_ ” Rin asked.

“ _Fuck short course_.”  Ty grimaced.

Takara made a similar face.

Haru nibbled on the wedge of pineapple that garnished his glass.  “I could do it.  I just don’t want to.”

“ _Pff_.  Haruka, if you tried to swim anything but free, you’d drown.”  Takara rolled her eyes.

“I would not.”  Haru drained the rest of his drink.  “Rin, hold this.”

Rin blinked as Haru put the empty glass in his hand and slipped into the pool.  _Haru, what the…?_

 _“Oh, do we have a new challenger?”_   Ty grinned and cupped his hands around his mouth, aiming for the upper deck.  _“Oi, Dave!  Get me a microphone!”_

As Haru and Takara waded towards what they’d deemed the ‘start’ side of the pool, the music faded.  Dave, the Australian backstroke swimmer, came down from the upper deck in a speedo, carrying a wireless microphone.  Koda was with him.

Rin watched dumbfounded as his boyfriend stretched beside Takara. 

Ty climbed out of the pool and grabbed the microphone from Dave.  _“Ladies and gentlemen, please clear the pool for this evening’s main event—the eighty-meter IM!  That’s eight lengths, everyone—butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle.”_

“I know the order,” Haru said.

_“And no fair swimming the whole thing underwater.”_

Next to Rin, Koda stripped off his shirt.  “I’m getting in on this.  Matsuoka, hold my beer.”

_Why the fuck am I the drink holder?_

Koda set his beer bottle on the tile and jumped into the pool in his square legs.

The crowd parted to make room, lining the edges of the pool to watch.

 _“In lane one…”_ Ty extended his arm towards Takara, _“we have Olympian Takara Sakamoto, who didn’t medal here in Rio—”_

Takara gave Ty the finger.

_“—but swims the hottest IM you’ve ever seen.”_

She shrugged as if that part was acceptable, then went back to adjusting her lavender bikini top.

_“In lane two…Olympic gold medalist Haruka I-only-swim-free Nanase.  Clearly out of his element.”_

Haru didn’t react, his arms high overhead as he stretched, his gaze fixed on the water.

_“And finally, in lane three…with silver and bronze in the two hundred and four hundred IM, obvious favorite to win, two-time Olympian Takuya Koda.”_

Koda grinned, waving to the cheering crowd.

_“And the prize for winning will be—”_

_“A kiss from Matsuoka!”_   Takara winked at Rin.

_“Oi!”_

Ty pointed him out.  _“A kiss from Olympic gold medalist Rin Matsuoka.”_

 _Damnit_.  Rin lifted his glass for a generous swallow.

 _“Alright, quiet for the start please._ ”  Ty waited for a beat for the crowd to settle. _“Olympians, take your marks…”_

The trio braced, each swimmer with a hand on the side of the pool—

“— _Go!_ ”

Koda, Haru, and Takara shoved off from the wall—the DJ helpfully whipping out old school _Jock Jams_ for the occasion—and Rin’s eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.  His Haru—his free-swimming Haru—was no shit doing butterfly.  _I must be dreaming.  Or am I seeing things?  Does alcohol make you hallucinate?_

It was semi-decent butterfly, too.  Only two strokes of it in ten meters, but _still_.  Down and back in the familiar undulations Rin knew by heart with every muscle in his body—

He didn’t realize he’d stopped breathing until the butterfly leg was over and the swimmers flipped to backstroke.  Rin downed the rest of his cocktail in a gulp, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  All around him, the onlookers were shouting and cheering.

In a ten-meter pool, the backstroke leg was a joke.  One arm circle and the swimmers were all colliding with each other and turning over for the wall.  Koda was leading (no surprise), with Haru and Takara neck-in-neck as they went to breaststroke. 

Haru’s breaststroke wasn’t terribly streamlined, but it was technically accurate and not bad at all for someone who probably hadn’t done it in well over a decade.  _Unless you’ve been holding out on me, Haru_.

_“…And going into the free, it’s Takuya off the wall first.  Will Haruka catch him?  Your kiss from Rin’s on the line!”_

The swimmers ducked underwater for the final turn—

_“Takara, there’s no tackling in IM!  How’d you even get into lane three?”_

She and Koda were laughing as they spun off course and into the onlookers.  It left Haru home free to slap the wall at the finish.

The crowd roared.

_“…And the winner—or maybe just the least smashed—Haruka Nanase!”_

Haru straightened in the chest-deep water, shaking his head to fling the droplets from his face. 

 _“Haruka, four Olympic medals and your win here tonight.  What are you going to do now?”_   Ty held the microphone down to him.

Haru lifted a brow.  _“What do you mean, what am I going to do now?  I get my kiss from Rin.”_

Rin’s face heated. 

_“Yes, that.  But you’re supposed to say you’re going to Tokyo Disneyland or something.”_

Haru frowned.  _“I don’t like Tokyo Disneyland.”_

_“What do you like?”_

“Rin.”

The crowd _oooh’ed_ and cheered, Rin’s face only getting hotter.

Haru smiled, his gaze fastened on Rin and overflowing with affection.  _“I want to marry him someday.”_

Rin melted on the spot. 

“ _We can spend the rest of our lives showing each other sights we’ve never seen before.”_  Haru’s eyes shimmered _.  “Rin_ , _let’s swim together forever_.”

 _Haru_ …  Rin pushed off into the pool, swimming to his lover’s side as the onlookers cheered.

“ _Haruka, that sounded like a proposal_ ,” Ty said.  “… _Or a wedding vow._ ”

Haru frowned.  “ _Rin’s not twenty yet and I don’t have rings_.”

“ _I’m on it!_ ”  Takara jumped out of the pool.

“I’m almost twenty,” Rin muttered in Japanese, wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  He swallowed around the lump in his throat.  “Haru, that was the most romantic—”

“I love you, Rin.”  Haru gathered him close, the water rippling at their shoulders as he leaned in for Rin’s lips—

 _“Whoa, save it for the ceremony!”_   Ty nudged them apart.  _“Any ministers present?  Portuguese is fine!”_

…The next thing Rin knew, he was standing on the steps of the pool in knee-deep water in his square legs, surrounded by their teammates and the Australians.  His fingers were laced together with Haru’s while the bartender ‘officiated.’  _Somehow, I always pictured us doing this with more clothes on._   Not that he was surprised, per se…

_“Do you, Haruka Nanase, take Rin Matsuoka to be your husband?  Do you promise to love and cherish him, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?”_

The words stilled his thoughts, bringing the moment sharply into focus—

Haru was looking straight into his eyes, Rin losing himself in endless fields of blue—a whole ocean of love that was for him and him alone.

 _“I do,”_ Haru whispered, his voice solemn and unwavering.

“Haru…”  The name slipped out, Rin staggered to his core by the promise Haru just made to him.  _You don’t sound like you’re kidding._

 _“Here’s the ring.”_   The bartender was holding a cocktail napkin with two bright golden rings on top, slightly thicker than typical wedding bands.  Rin caught a tangy whiff of…pineapple.

Haru let go long enough to retrieve one of the rings.  He reached for Rin’s hand with fingers that trembled a little, an unvoiced question in the depths of his eyes.

Rin swallowed and, in reply, gave Haru his hand.

Haru’s face brightened with delight and emotion as he slid the pineapple ring onto Rin’s third finger.

 _Holy shit._   Rin felt giddy through and through.  He didn’t care that it was only fruit—

The bartender turned to him.  _“Do you, Rin Matsuoka, take Haruka Nanase to be your husband—”_

The same solemnness he’d seen in Haru’s eyes and heard in Haru’s voice settled on Rin as the words were spoken.  It didn’t matter that they’d had a drink—that to everyone around them, this was only drunken entertainment.  _Do I promise to love you and cherish you, when things go well and when they don’t, through injuries and rehabilitation, until the end?_

Rin sniffed hard against a sudden welling of moisture in his eyes.  “ _I do_.”

Haru’s face softened, his eyes gleaming.

Rin took the matching pineapple ring and slid it onto Haru’s waiting finger…  They gripped hands, Rin blinking back a fresh surge of emotion and nearly lost it all when Haru pulled a hand free to brush at his eyes.

_“By the power vested in me by…this hotel…I now pronounce you husbands—”_

They were kissing almost before the guy stopped speaking, holding each other so tight Rin couldn’t breathe and he doubted Haru could either.  A deafening cheer arose, the DJ played Mendelssohn’s _Wedding March_ , and their teammates scattered droplets of water over their heads.

Rin knew he was grinning like an idiot when they parted; he didn’t care.  Haru beaming at him with pool eyes was everything.  He laughed as his ‘husband’ inevitably tackled him into the water.

After a celebratory swim, Takara and Ty (apparently playing maid of honor and best man) herded them to a semi-private lounge chair on the edge of the bar with beach and ocean views.

_“Have fun you two!”  “But keep your clothes on!”_

They stretched out together in the chair, Rin reclining in Haru’s arms.  Their fingers were intertwined, sticky with pineapple syrup.

“Rin.”

“Hm?”

Haru’s eyes were warm with the same pleasure Rin felt.  “We’ll have to do this again.  Nagisa’s gonna be mad.”

Rin smiled.  “Yeah.”  He knew they would, someday, with all of their friends and family gathered with them.  For now, though…  _For us…_   Rin angled his face towards Haru’s.  “Love you.”

“Love _you._ ”

Brushes of lips turned into long, sweet kisses as they cuddled and watched the waves.

-x-

“ _Oi_ , you guys…”

Rin stirred at the sound of Ozawa’s voice but didn’t open his eyes.  He was curled up in Haru’s arms and _far_ too comfortable to move.

“How much did they have to drink?”

“One _batida_ each, apparently,” Takara said.

“That’s it?  Are they crazy strong here?”

“Not particularly.”  That was Konishi.

Ozawa sighed.  “You two are adorable.  Come on, newlyweds.”  She shook Rin by the shoulder.  “Wake up.  We’ve got curfew.”

* * *

Tuesday, August 16th, 2016

* * *

Rin jerked awake when his pants started buzzing.  He labored to open his eyes, his head mildly throbbing and his throat parched.  Reaching down, he managed to silence the damn phone through his jeans pocket.  His left arm was asleep, trapped by Haru’s head on his shoulder.  Haru’s left hand was curled around Rin’s waist, under his T-shirt. 

Rin rubbed his face, finally getting his eyelids to cooperate.  Sunlight streamed in through the balcony doors of their Athletes’ Village bedroom.  Both he and Haru were fully clothed, lying on top of the covers.  The usual scent of chlorine was joined by a subtle pineapple aroma.

Rin shifted enough to work some feeling back into his arm, while trying not to disturb his lover… fiancé(?)… husband(?!).  He wiggled his fingers.  The pineapple ring was gone, though his skin was still sticky.

His phone started buzzing again.

 _Damnit_.  It had to be the alarm.  The men’s 10k swim was first thing this morning.

As he tried to silence the stupid thing, Haru made an irritated noise and rolled over once…and a second time, face-planting into his pillow with a grunt.

“Your head?” Rin asked, working the phone from his pocket and canceling the alarm.

“Water.”  Haru’s voice was muffled against the pillow.

Rin smiled with empathy, climbing off the bed.  He crossed the room slowly, stretching out stiff muscles as he went, and retrieved an unopened water bottle from his gear bag.

Haru sat up—running a hand over his face and wincing—as Rin returned.

Settling cross-legged on the bed, Rin opened the bottle and offered it.  “Here.”

“Thanks.”  Haru drank deeply, downing a third of the bottle before handing it over.

Rin tipped his head back and drank with quick swallows.  The cool water was invigorating against his palate; he felt rejuvenated immediately.  Rin saved the last third for Haru.

Haru polished off the bottle, looking brighter and more alive.  He peeled off his unbuttoned short sleeve shirt, tossing the garment to the floor. 

Eyeing all of that extra skin, Rin reclined on his side, balanced on an elbow.  “Na, Haru.”

“Hm?” Haru met his gaze. 

“You remember everything, right?”

Haru paused for a second as if thinking, then nodded.

Rin’s cheeks warmed.  “Does it make us… _sort of_ married?”

Haru arched a brow.  “Like we were _sort of_ engaged?”

Rin bit his lower lip.  “Yeah.”

Haru was quiet for a long moment, searching his face.  “Do you want to be?”

The heat in Rin’s face tripled as he drew a careful breath.  “I want to.”

Haru’s eyes flared wide.  “Rin—”

The empty water bottle bounced off the bed and clattered to the floor as their lips met, Haru pressing him to the sheets.  _Guess your headache’s not that bad._ Rin twined his arms around his lover, welcoming the gentle intrusion of Haru’s tongue.  As the ardor built between them, he slid his fingers into shards of silken black hair, kissing Haru back.  The privacy was bliss—no one to interrupt or stare; they only broke apart to catch their breath.

Haru got comfortable on top of him.  “Let’s consummate our marriage.”  He dipped his head, nuzzling Rin’s neck as he kissed his way down Rin’s throat—

Rin’s lashes fluttered as pleasant shivers ran through him.  He tilted his head back to give Haru more access.  “You mean _sort of_ consummate our _sort of_ marriage?”

“Nothing _sort of_ about this part, Rin,” Haru murmured against his skin.  His left hand, sticky from the pineapple ring, slipped under Rin’s shirt, gripping his waist.

Rin bit back a groan.  “We don’t have time.  We’re supposed to be at the beach—”  It took every last bit of his discipline to dislodge his lover with a light shove.  If not for their coaches expecting them…

Haru drew back with a grunt, his eyes flashing with irritation and desire as he got up. 

After a brief shower, they dried off and got dressed in their _sakura_ square legs and matching Team Japan shorts and polo shirts.

As Haru packed cans of _saba_ into their backpack for the beach, Rin retrieved his phone.  He woke the thing up, tapping in his passcode—

Notifications filled his screen.  Rin winced.

“What?” Haru asked.

“I have five voicemails and like thirty messages…”

“Guess we made the Internet.”

-x-

 _“All of that on one drink, huh?”_  Sousuke smirked on Rin’s screen.

“Shut up.  Like you’ve ever been drunk before.”  Rin glared at his best friend through his shades.

_“I know a lightweight when I see one.”_

_Ass._   Rin scowled, brushing back a strand of hair that kept getting in his face from the persistent breeze.  But it was hard to stay irritated with Haru snuggled against him under his arm, plenty of warm Copacabana sun and sand, and the cheering going on for the men who’d just entered lap two of their 10k swim.

On the other half of Rin’s screen, Gou was sobbing on Rei’s shoulder.  “ _Your muscles looked so amazing!_ ”

“ _I knew it had to be a pool_ ,” Nagisa said, laughing.  “ _It’s just like Haru-chan_.”

“ _It was a dream come true!  Why can’t all weddings be like that?_ ”  Gou grabbed another tissue from the box Rei held.

“ _Gou-san, I believe it’s logistically prohibitive to conduct full wedding ceremonies in a pool_.”  Rei adjusted his glasses, careful not to dislodge her.  “ _Furthermore, it’s really a shame to forgo wedding attire which is, in many cultures, the most beautiful raiment of all_ —”

“ _Oh you be quiet!_ ”

“ _Ne, let’s plan a party when Haru-chan and Rin-chan get back!_ ”

Rin sighed.  “Nagisa, you know we’re not _legally_ married…”

“We would’ve had to apply at the Brazilian Consulate in Tokyo before leaving, and there’s a waiting period after filing the paperwork.”  Haru shrugged. 

“And only certain judges can perform the ceremony.”

Nagisa’s smile turned sly.  “ _But you did check_.”

Rin’s face heated, Haru’s cheeks turning a delicate pink that was almost hidden by his sunglasses.

“ _We should have a party regardless_ ,” Makoto said, next to Sousuke on the right side of the screen.  “ _Timing will be tricky if you guys are headed out for the World Cup, but we need to celebrate your medals—not to mention Mikoshiba-senpai’s and Momo-kun’s_.”

“The World Cup comes to Tokyo in late October,” Rin said.  “Though it’s during the week.  But the Asian Swimming Championships in November cover a weekend.”

“ _November?  That’s so far away_ …”  Nagisa pouted.  “ _Haru-chan and Rin-chan will be married three months by then_.”

“Nagisa—”

“ _Mako-chan wins the proposal pool_.”

Makoto chuckled.  “ _I did have a hunch something would happen before you guys left Rio.  Ring or no ring.  But I wasn’t expecting pineapple_.”

Haru smiled.  “Pineapple is delicious.”

Rin’s cheeks started to burn.

“ _Oooh, Haru-chan, did you nibble it off Rin-chan’s finger?_ ”

“We’re not talking about that!”  Rin’s ears were _flaming_ hot.

Haru said nothing, feigning innocence.

“ _Ne, Rei-chan_ —”  Nagisa scooted close, whispering something into Rei’s ear that had his entire face flushing as red as his glasses.

“ _Nagisa-kun!!_ ”  The feed bounced around and ended up showing the ceiling, with Nagisa laughing so hard he was breathless in the background.

“ _Rei-chan, come back!  I was just kidding!_ ”

Rin fought the urge to facepalm.

“ _So, uh_ …”  Makoto was wincing as he smiled; beside him, Sousuke looked bemused.  “ _Mikoshiba’s doing pretty well in the race, don’t you think?_ ”

…The Iwatobi crowd eventually logged off and Makoto got pulled away by his Koutei classmates, leaving Rin and Sousuke to Skype alone.  Haru was stretched out on his towel at Rin’s side, baking on his stomach, and Rin really needed to stop staring at the backs of Haru’s thighs and his shapely calves.

Sousuke chuckled.  “ _I should let you go_.”

“Sorry.”  Rin focused his attention on the screen.  “When are your parents getting in?”

“ _During the day on Thursday.  I’ll have plenty of time to get them settled before I come out to the airport that night_.”

“You don’t have to—”

“ _I’ll be there_.”

Rin pressed his lips.  “And Friday?  What time…?”

“ _I check in first thing in the morning; my parents will take me_.”  Sousuke’s smile turned empathetic.  “ _I’d just as soon you skip it, Rin_.”

Rin inhaled.  “Sousuke—”

“ _You can’t come back with me anyway.  If you want to see me before I’m admitted, fine, but…  Otherwise, you can visit me in recovery.  After I’m disconnected and such_.”

He managed not to grimace.  “I’ll deal.  This is important.”

“ _Just…do what you can do and not what you can’t, alright?_ ”  Sousuke’s expression was soft.  “ _Between you, my parents, Takara, and Kawamura, there are plenty of people to take care of me.  I’ll have enough on my mind; I just as soon_ not _worry about you fainting in the lobby_.”

 _I’m not gonna fucking faint!_   Rin sighed.  “Fair.  But I _will_ be there.  You’re my best friend.”

Sousuke’s eyes warmed.  “ _You’re so stubborn, Rin_.”

“I am not!”

There was a chirping sound.  “ _Oh, Takara’s calling_.”

Rin glanced away from the screen to his right.  Takara, Konishi, and Ozawa were laid out a little ways away, all looking pretty hungover and lethargic with their sunglasses and loose hair.  “Are you sure?”

“ _She drunk dialed me earlier; it was great_.”  Sousuke waved.  “ _See you Thursday night, Rin_.”

“Later.”  Rin hung up.  With a sigh, he dropped down to his towel, staring up at the cloudless blue sky.

An arm snaked across his waist.

“ _Oi_.”

“What?”  Haru lifted a brow.  “I can’t cuddle with my sort-of husband?”

Rin pursed his lips.  “I’ll tan funny.”

Haru’s eyes glittered.  “I could…”  He slid his hand down towards Rin’s _sakura_ -clad hips—

“ _Nn_.”  Rin caught his lover’s hand, bringing it to his lips.  He kissed Haru’s wrist and vacant ring finger.

Haru smiled.  He closed his eyes, the breeze rippling through his glossy black hair.  “ _Eu te amo_ , Rin.”

Rin laced their fingers together, resting their clasped hands against his chest as the race continued.  “ _Eu tamb_ _én te amo_ , Haru.”

-x-

Mikoshiba took eighth place in the marathon, less than five seconds behind the winner from the Netherlands.  Silver and bronze went to Greece and France, respectively.  The former Samezuka captain was all smiles in his full-length suit, strutting around on the sand with his brother on his back, like he _hadn’t_ just swum his hardest for two hours…

_You’re unreal, Mikoshiba._

“Village curfew tonight is eight PM,” Maekawa said, after she and Coach Akagi had managed to corral the team. 

Their teammates groaned.

“I know, but our shuttle leaves for the airport at three-fifteen AM and we’re not going to be searching all over Rio for you.  The Village is big enough.”  She eyed a few members of the team in particular, Rin blushing when Maekawa’s gaze found him and Haru.

 _We weren’t late.  …I think._   He honestly couldn’t remember.

Maekawa propped a hand on her hip.  “Make sure you’re packed.  There won’t be any time to go back for lost articles.  You’ll have to wait for the JOC to ship stuff back at the end of the week if you forget anything.  Got it?”

“We’ll have to empty the bath,” Rin murmured.

Haru exhaled, clearly still guilt-ridden about the water.  But his expression eased a bit when Rin took his hand.

After lunch on the beach, Rin and Haru piled into a van with the Mikoshiba brothers, headed for Japan House.  Getting Momo to put on more clothes than flipflops with his speedo had been a feat in and of itself…  The kid was the first one out of the vehicle when they pulled up to the alternate entrance where Director Kaya and Haseda were waiting.

“Kaya-san!  Haseda-san!” 

“Good afternoon, Momotarou-kun,” Director Kaya said, smiling good naturedly.  “Are you ready for your shoot?”

“Yippee!”  Momo threw off his T-shirt and started running in circles with his hands in the air.

The women exchanged a glance, Rin feeling instant sympathy for them.

Kaya cleared her throat.  “See that reflecting pool over there, Momo-kun?”  As Momo slowed to a trot, she pointed to a sculpted, shallow pool surrounded by a grassy lawn north of the building.  “We’re going to start with you running around it five times.”

Momo stopped, his golden eyes wide.  “Can I go now?”

“You sure can!”

“ _Yosh!_ ”  The kid took off at a sprint (still shirtless).

Rin smothered a chuckle, holding onto the straps of their backpack, Haru beside him.

“Once he’s done, we’ll head to hair and makeup.  Does that sound OK, Mikoshiba-kun?”

Mikoshiba propped both hands on his hips, wearing a small backpack over his Team Japan T-shirt and shorts.  “Absolutely, Director Kaya-kun!”

“Well, uh, great!”  She was smiling so hard she was almost cringing.

Rin almost felt bad for not volunteering for the waxing and bronzer…almost.

Haseda came over with her arms folded across her black athletic top.  “Didn’t I tell you two?”

“Er…”  Rin blushed automatically.  _What did we do?_   He rubbed the back of his neck.

“…Are we in trouble?” Haru asked.

Haseda pulled today’s Olympic magazine from her messenger bag and opened to one of the back pages.  “Look at this horrible grainy quality!”  She held the page out to them, pointing at a photo under the header, _Japanese Olympians ‘wed’ in impromptu pool-side ceremony_. 

The picture was right after they’d kissed, both of them grinning at each other.  Haru’s hand, on Rin’s arm, bore the pineapple ring on his ring finger.  The photo was poorly-lit and not 100% in focus.

“Next time, _call me_.”  She tucked her business card into the magazine and thrust it into Haru’s hands.  “I will be there—in Tokyo or anywhere in the world—and you will have _gorgeous_ pictures you can hang on your wall.  Not this crap.”

Haru bowed deeply.  “Our apologies, Haseda-san.”

Rin bowed too.

Haseda snorted.  “Well, as long as you’re penitent.”  She was grinning as they straightened.  “Congrats, you guys.”

Rin shared a glance with Haru.  “Oh, we’re not, uh…officially—”

Haseda winked at them and moved off.  “We’ll be in touch!”

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun…”  Director Kaya smiled at them.  “Tsuchiya-san will be expecting you backstage at one o’clock.  You have a little bit of time.”

“Thanks.”  Rin dipped his head.

As the women went off to attend to the Mikoshiba brothers, Rin and Haru were left on the curb by themselves.

Haru opened the magazine to the article and began to read.  “ _Late Monday night, surrounded by teammates and a supportive crowd of guests at the_ Pestana Rio Atlantica _hotel, Japanese swimmers Rin Matsuoka and Haruka Nanase said ‘I do’ in a spur-of-the-moment ceremony, complete with rings cut from gold rounds of ripe pineapple.  While alcohol certainly appeared to factor into the sudden nuptials, the couple gave their vows in an emotional display on par with their Mixed Zone interactions over the past week.  Matsuoka and Nanase celebrated with a ‘first swim’ in the Pestana rooftop pool to throwback love song, ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply,’ by the Australian band, Savage Garden.”_

 _Courtesy of one Ty Bingham._   Rin’s cheeks warmed.  Ty always teased him for liking the song when they were kids.

“— _While not legally binding, a wonderful, uplifting time was had by all in attendance.  The couple could not be reached for comment as they were found fast asleep in a chaise lounge beneath the stars not long after the ceremony.  This author wishes Matsuoka and Nanase hearty congratulations and all the best for Tokyo 2020._ ”

Rin pushed a hand through his hair.  “What’re the chances we avoid talking about this at the interview?  Zero?  Negative?”

Haru closed the magazine.  He reached over, opening the backpack Rin carried and tucking the periodical inside.  “I only have good memories from last night, Rin.”

The air left Rin’s lungs in a rush.  “Same.  I don’t mean to sound like…  I don’t _regret_ anything that happened—”  _I’d just as soon not make the news, though._

“I know you don’t.”  Haru smiled with his eyes.  “I wish it had been more private, too.  Or that we had more time to ourselves.”  He lowered his voice.  “We didn’t get much of a wedding night.”

Rin snorted.  “Whose fault is that?  You’re the one who fell asleep.  After all that talk of finagling a hotel room.”

“You drooled on my shoulder on the bus ride home.”

“I did not!”

“Anyway.”  Haru adjusted his sunglasses.  “I was racing, so naturally I’d be tired.”

“ _Eighty_ meters, Haru?”  Rin chuckled.  “What are you going to say if they ask about you swimming IM?”

Haru frowned.  “I only swim free.”

“Unless you’re drunk.”

Haru exhaled through his nostrils and looked away.  “You can laugh if you want to, but I won and ended up sort of married to you, so it was worth it to do it once.”

 _Haru—_   Rin’s mirth vanished under a swell of love that instantly stung his eyes and closed his throat.  He threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders.  “It was the best sight I’d ever seen.”

Haru hugged him back.  “My swimming IM?  Or kind of marrying you?”

“Yes,” Rin whispered.

Haru made a soft sound—to Rin’s ears it was pure contentment. 

He lifted his head, soaking in the happiness on Haru’s face and in blue eyes before their lips met.

-x-

They snuck in through a side door, heading first to the restroom to change into their _sakura_ warmup jackets and black pants.  There was no point attempting to avoid the crowds after that.  Rin and Haru signed autographs and took pictures with fans for a while (some fans even had the ‘wedding’ article), working their way towards the backstage area where they were supposed to meet Tsuchiya.

“Rin, Haruka—”

Rin stopped at the sound of _that_ voice and the distinct lack of cowbell.  _What the hell are you doing at Japan House?_   He turned, coming face-to-face with Damien Andrews.

Except, the American Olympic legend wasn’t accompanied by his usual entourage.  His only escort was, in fact, asleep, nestled against his chest in one of those convertible baby carrier things, with a tiny pink Team USA beanie on her head.  Andrews wore a black polo shirt, khakis, and shades, with a floral-patterned designer diaper bag slung over one shoulder.  The guy looked so damn domestic it was no wonder he wasn’t being hounded by fans.

“ _What are you doing here?_ ” Rin asked.

Damien shrugged.  “ _Being Dad.  Colette wanted to talk to Noboru before we left today_.”  He nodded around the corner of a nearby exhibit, Rin just catching a glimpse of a smartly dressed woman with glossy chestnut hair.  She was talking with Sugiyama, his clothes as understated as Damien’s.

“ _So I have Sofia duty.  It’s not a bad gig.  I haven’t been Dad for months, so…  But, as it happens, I also wanted to talk to the two of you_.”

Rin exchanged a glance with Haru, who looked equally puzzled.

Damien pushed his sunglasses farther up his nose.  “ _I’m gonna be the next big thing in coaching.  You can count on it.  In a couple of years, I want you to consider coming to the States and training with me_.”

 _Huh?_   Rin quirked a brow.  “ _What about all those world-record-breaking Americans you want to train?_ ”

“ _Oh, I’ll be training them as well_.”  The guy flashed his signature dazzling grin.  “ _But I’ve adopted a new policy on rivals—keep your friends close and your rivals closer.  I invited the kid from Singapore too.  Make no mistake, Rin, the next world-record holder in the hundred fly will be trained by me_.”

Well, Damien had goals anyway.  Rin couldn’t fault the guy for that.

“ _I’ll be based in Los Angeles—working out of the Olympic Swim Stadium at USC_.”

“ _Los Angeles_ …” Haru murmured.

“ _It’s only one flight from Tokyo.  One long flight, I guess, but you can always meet your loved ones in the middle, in Hawaii_.”

Haru’s eyes went all sparkly at the mention of tropical Hawaiian waters.

Sofia stirred in her sleep, Damien automatically stroking his daughter’s head and murmuring to her in a soothing voice.  She settled again.

“ _It’s not every day you get an open invitation like this_ ,” Damien said.  “ _It doesn’t even expire.  Think about it.  I’m taking a couple years off with my family, but for the lead-up to 2020 or after…  If you’re interested, let me know_.”  He produced a business card from his wallet, offering it to Rin.

Rin drew a breath…and accepted the card.  It would be rude not to, right?  “ _Thanks_.”

“ _You’re welcome_.”  Damien’s smile was super condescending, Rin fighting the urge to roll his eyes. 

“ _Mon cher?_ ”  The woman’s voice was angelic.

“ _That’s my cue.  See you guys around_.”  Damien waved at them as he left, joining Colette.

Then Colette _and_ Damien were conversing with Sugiyama.  The discussion seemed to cool a bit with both men present, but even Rin could tell there were layers to their rivalry and not all of them were antagonistic.

Haru, meanwhile, was still staring off into the distance with shimmering eyes.

Rin chuckled, slipping an arm around his lover’s shoulders.  “Am I redirecting our Christmas vacation?”

Haru shook his head.  “Let’s go next year.”

Rin smiled.  They started off towards the backstage area for their meeting.  “I bet you can swim with dolphins for real there.”

“I have family in Hawaii,” Haru said.

“What?  Since when?”

Haru shrugged, not dislodging his arm.  “Since my great-great uncle decided to get on a boat one day.  I guess he liked it, because he didn’t come back.”

“ _Tch_.”  Rin flicked his eyes skyward.  “Your whole family has to be free, huh?”

“My parents and grandparents took me to visit once, but I was like a year old so it doesn’t count.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Haru looked at him.  “What do you think I’m doing now?”

“Alright, fine.”  Rin grinned.

“So, next year?”

“Yeah.”  Rin squeezed his lover’s shoulders.  “Take me to meet your free American cousins.”

Haru smiled. 

“ _Ano_ …Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun?”

They turned at the girl’s voice.  She was decked out in Team Japan fan gear, grinning nervously and blushing pink as she held out the Olympic magazine and a marker.  “ _Onegaishimasu!_ ”

-x-

It was nearly 1PM when they finally made it to the backstage area.  Tsuchiya was waiting next to the _Authorized Personnel Only_ sign, her arms folded over her cream blouse.  Rin followed Haru over, both of them bowing low.

“You’re not late yet,” she said, waving them inside as they straightened.  “But I almost decided to come rescue you.”

A ton of audio-visual equipment was packed into the backstage area, plus stations for hair and makeup.  Technicians in headsets and black JOC polo shirts were everywhere and a small screen showed footage from the stage where the sports anchors were currently interviewing members of the Japanese rugby team—including a few of Sousuke’s friends from Todai.  The men’s team had made it to the bronze medal match Thursday night, but ended up losing to South Africa (given how much partying they’d done since, the loss hadn’t been that much of a blow, at least as far as Rin could tell).  The audience was full of squealing female fans—the sound loud enough to carry backstage.

Rin and Haru sat for getting their hair fixed and light makeup done.  It wasn’t Furutani and Arita, whom Rin missed the second his stylist started arranging his hair differently than Arita would, but the pair likely had their hands full with the Mikoshiba brothers. 

He closed his eyes as the makeup artist got to work.  It wasn’t quiet, but the darkness behind Rin’s eyelids still allowed him to think, to center himself—the same way he closed out the noise prior to every race. 

_I want to try talking about him a little._

The last moment he ever saw his dad was etched into his mind—kissing his mom goodbye and heading out the door to work, just like every day.  His dad always left with a smile, a wave, and a promise— _Ittekimasu_.  But that was the day Rin’s father didn’t return, taken by the storm that claimed many lives that summer.  In the days that followed, as insomnia plagued Rin, he would often find Gou curled up on the floor in the entryway of their house, waiting for the door to open—for the _Tadaima_ that never came.  He took to keeping vigil with her—it was the only way Gou would sleep—while their mother’s muffled tears drifted through the walls of their too-still house.

…For the longest time, he wouldn’t let himself remember.  _I spent so many years running away_ —from those painful memories, from everything that reminded him of his dad other than swimming.  He wasn’t exactly sprinting that direction now, but facing forward and taking what small steps he could—it was all progress.  Today was another part of that journey.

“Matsuoka-kun, you’re all set.”

Rin opened his eyes as the makeup artist backed away.  “Thank you.”

She smiled and dipped her head, moving to the side so he could hop down from the chair.

Haru was done already, looking slightly ill at ease as a technician clipped a microphone to his collar and helped him secure the cord beneath his jacket.

Rin was led to the same area, a technician showing him a matching device. 

“We’ll do a quick sound check now,” the woman said.  “After that, we’ll only turn it on right as we send you out.”

“Got it.”

After he was wired up and the technician checked the sound with her headphones, she gave him a thumbs-up and let him go.  Rin wandered over to the snack area where Haru had snagged a bottle of water.  Haru alternatively sipped and tugged on his collar near the offending microphone.

“Leave it alone,” Rin murmured, poking Haru in the ribs.  “If you screw it up, they’ll have to redo everything.”

“Nn.”  Haru pressed his lips.

Rin smiled empathetically.  “I’m right here.  We’re doing this together.  Don’t worry.”

Haru’s face clouded.  He dropped his hand, his fingers tightening on the water bottle.  “I want to be here for you, too.”

“Haru…”  Rin’s eyes widened.  Microphones be damned, he hugged Haru anyway.  “You are,” he whispered.

“Rin…”  Haru hugged him back.

At length, they parted, taking deep breaths at the same time and sharing smiles. 

“I’m ready,” Rin said.  “I mean, I’m not _ready_ , but I’m doing this.” 

“I…”  Haru looked sheepish.  “I brought something I thought would help.”  He reached into the pocket of his black warmup pants, pulling out a pair of green and orange Rio lanyards—

Rin’s eyes pricked with moisture at the sight of their matching bronze medals from the 4x200m free.  The medal he’d dedicated to his father was cool and solid against his palm as Haru placed it in his hand.  Rin closed his fingers over the symbol of their shared dream, trembling slightly.  _Dad—_

“I thought about bringing the envelope, but I didn’t want it to get squished in the bag—”

Rin flung his arms around Haru’s shoulders, squeezing his eyes shut to fight the threatening tears.  “How did you know?”

“I just thought…something to hold onto might…” Haru whispered.

Rin drew back, kissing Haru on the lips and leaning their foreheads together.  He exhaled slowly, his heart full of love—a little raw, maybe, but that was OK.  “You were right.”

Haru’s face softened, his eyes warm with affection.

They each tucked the medals into their pockets, Rin brushing at his face.  _Crying with makeup on…again._   The techs were giving them space, or at least pretending not to eavesdrop in the packed area.

“Guess I’d better head back to makeup,” Rin muttered.

“I’ll go with you.”

Their makeup artist was waiting with a tissue box.  “It’s OK.  Everything’s waterproof.  I consulted with Furutani-san beforehand.”

“Thanks,” Rin murmured, taking a tissue. 

After a couple of touchups, they were standing with a pair of techs just out of view behind the Tokyo 2020 stage.  The rugby interview finished, the audience cheering loudly as the men came around the edge of the backdrop.  Rin and Haru exchanged nods with their teammates as stagehands quickly rearranged the furniture.

“Our next guests,” Nishida Riko said, “are first time Olympians making headlines around the world for their sensational swimming here in Rio.”

Rin took Haru’s hand, sneaking a glance at his lover. 

Haru drew a breath, exhaling long and slow.

Rin squeezed Haru’s fingers, earning one of his favorite subtle smiles.

“…They’re going home with seven medals between them, including a pair of golds for their championship victories in freestyle.  Please welcome Nanase Haruka and Matsuoka Rin!”

At the tech’s signal, they walked out to a squealing and cheering audience, waving to their fans and the cameras as they crossed the stage in front of the Tokyo 2020 emblems.  There was a full crowd seated at circular tables as well as standing in the walkways between the water features in the cavernous hall.  The stage was set with four black chairs—two on the far side where anchors Nishida and Tanabe were standing, and two nearer to them.  There was a screen showing their official JOC portraits in their red and white warmups between the chairs, along with a low coffee table.  Rin and Haru shook hands with anchors Nishida and Tanabe, the four of them just settling into their chairs—

“We love you, Nanase!  Matsuoka!”  “Congratulations on your wedding!”

A good-natured laugh rumbled through the crowd.

 _Nothing to do but own it._ Rin grinned, waving again.

Nishida adjusted her stack of notecards, crossing her legs in her black sheath dress belted in red.  “Are we launching right into swimming questions?”

 _Giving us the option._   Rin sat back, tossing a playful glance in Haru’s direction. 

Haru’s wariness had faded; he seemed calmer, more relaxed.  The sparkle in blue eyes for Rin alone said it again— _I only have good memories from last night, Rin._

“ _Well_ …” Rin drew the word out with a tease, turning back to their hosts.  “It’s probably best to start with the elephant in the room.  Last night for us was a good, hmm…  Practice run.”

A thoughtful look crossed Haru’s face.  “Like the heats.”

Rin chuckled.  _You’re not so bad at this, Haru._   “Yeah, exactly.  When it’s time for the final, we’ll be ready.”

Another shout came from the crowd.  “Does that mean you’re engaged?!”

Rin lifted his left hand into view, wiggling his ring finger.  “It’s vacant.”

“Mine too,” Haru said.

Rin smiled, meeting his lover’s gaze as he reached for Haru’s hand again.  “Someday?”

Haru smiled back, interlacing their fingers.  “Someday.”

The audience cheered.

“I’m seeing a pattern here,” Tanabe said, smoothing his red tie and shuffling a couple notecards.  “Last night…”

Nishida nodded.  “Saturday night…” 

The screen on stage lit with Haseda’s photo of Rin kissing Haru’s wrist during the medley final.

 _I’m not embarrassed about that one anymore_. 

“…Not to mention this one.”  Tanabe gestured to the screen, _aww’s_ and squeals sounding as their Barcelona poolside kiss appeared.

 _That_ made Rin’s cheeks heat a little. 

“Something about the two of you and _pools_ ,” Nishida said.  “What’s that all about?”

Rin cleared his throat, looking at Haru.  “Are we starting from the beginning?”

Haru tilted his head.  “You mean when I beat you in our first tournament together in elementary school?  Or when you switched schools to swim with me?”

A whole minute of high-pitched squeals followed.

 _I fucking love it when you’re sassy_.  Rin grinned.

-x-

“…Haru would routinely ‘forget’ things in the locker room and have to go back,” Rin said.  “An hour later we’d find him in the pool.  It was his favorite excuse to get out of class.”

Haru snorted.  “ _You’re_ the one who brought your goggles everywhere.  Every field trip—even when our class went skiing—just in case you could challenge me to a race.”

 _Worth it._   Rin’s face warmed as he smiled.  He remembered the trip.  “We got in trouble for sneaking into the plunge pool at night.”

“Makoto _tried_ to talk us out of it.”

Rin laughed.  “Poor Makoto always ended up doing the apologizing for us.  But Haru just can’t handle himself around water.”

“It’s true,” Haru said.  “I’m in love with water.”  His glance in Rin’s direction was anything but subtle.

By the muffled shrieking that came from the crowd, they’d noticed too.  The heat doubled in Rin’s face, but he _knew_ he was beaming and he couldn’t help it.  It was Haru—how could he resist? 

“…Speaking of water, Nanase-kun.”  Tanabe paused, looking at them over his notecards with one brow arched.  “If that is what we’re talking about…  We understand that when the subject of the water quality concerns here in Rio came up, it was an epiphany for you.  Can you share about that?”

Haru grew quiet, inhaling slowly.

Rin squeezed Haru’s fingers.  _You got this._

Haru held his gaze for a moment, then clutched Rin’s hand as he turned back to the anchors.  “Since I was a kid, the water’s been my life.”

The audience gradually fell silent, listening attentively as Haru spoke.

“Our hometown—Iwatobi—is on the Sea of Japan.  Every summer when it got warm enough, we swam right off the beach.  I…”  Haru’s lips pursed.  “I always spent as much time in the bath as I wanted, drank as much from the tap as I wanted…  It never occurred to me that it wasn’t like this everywhere.  I…  I guess I heard but I didn’t _know_ …”

Rin felt a pang for Haru’s sake, watching Haru’s face cloud and the way his brows gathered.  He knew Haru felt bad about his ignorance, but—  _Was it your fault you lived a sheltered life?  Maybe if your dad hadn’t left or if your family moved together to Hokkaido…_

“So when you saw the pictures…” Nishida said.

Haru nodded.  “I started researching online and…”  As he trailed off, Rin squeezed his hand.

_You’re doing great._

“What did you find, Nanase-kun?”

“At first, I was upset that just being in the water here could make people sick,” Haru said.  “That’s what all the news articles were about—how could Olympians row in the water, swim in the water?  Wouldn’t they get sick?  _But_ —” Haru’s eyes gleamed with emotion, “no one was talking about the kids who don’t _have_ water.  The kids who walk six kilometers just to fetch it—”

“Did you say six _kilometers_?” Tanabe asked.

“Six kilometers,” Haru said again.  “Like our teammates just swam ten in the marathon.  Like the distance in our hardest practices.”

Rin nodded.

“And that water’s dirty and parasite infested.  Kids get sick and die from drinking it, but it’s the _only_ water they have.  They spend hours getting it, multiple times per day; their entire lives revolve around it.  These kids should be _free_ —”  Haru’s voice shook with passion, his heart pouring from his lips.  “Instead, their normal is a daily fight for enough water to survive.  Things _can’t_ stay like this.” 

No one spoke when he finished, as if no one could.  Rin barely breathed, not blinking as he watched the one he loved burn with zeal.  _Holy shit, Haru.  I felt that—everyone did._ The entire room was breathless, waiting—

The anchors were the first to recover, Nishida exhaling as she gestured with her notecards.  “We agree, Nanase-kun, but where do we start?”

As all gazes fastened on him, Haru’s lips pursed, his cheeks reddening.  Blue eyes flicked to Rin in a silent appeal, as if the effort of speaking his heart in front of the world had taken as much out of Haru as a breathless fifty free.

_Our life is a relay._

“We start with one family,” Rin said, “one village.  We start with one well or pipe system…  And even though it seems small, that makes a whole world of difference for those kids.”

Haru’s eyes shimmered with affection and gratitude, a lifetime’s worth of love and hope.

Rin smiled back.  “Over the last few days, we’ve met incredible people doing incredible things.  Whether that’s right here, fighting for sanitation in Rocinha, or around the world—bringing water to kids who need it.  We’re really excited to see how we can get involved and make a difference.  We’re not allowed to say much yet, since things are just in the beginning stages, but we’ll be holding an event this fall—”

“An event?” Tanabe asked.

Rin nodded.  “A fundraising event in Japan.”  He looked out to the crowd and the cameras.  “We really hope you all will join us and participate.  Our goal is to make a lot of clean water possible around the world.  So please consider it.”  Rin dipped his head.  “ _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu._ ”

The collectively held breath of the audience came out in a rush.  “When in fall?”  “Will it be in Tokyo?”  “Will there be singing?!”

Rin winked at the girl who asked.  “Anything’s possible.”

As the squealing started up again, Haru pulled his hand free.  Warm fingers gripped Rin’s shoulder, Haru leaning close.  Rin’s heart did a flip as lips brushed his cheek, Haru touching their heads together briefly.  He didn’t say a word, but Rin felt like Haru had never said _I love you_ louder than in that moment.

 _Haru…_   Rin reached up and snagged Haru’s hand as he retreated, grazing Haru’s knuckles with a kiss.

“ _No really, when’s the wedding?!”_   The shout came from someone standing in the back, laughter rumbling through the crowd immediately after.

“Nishida-san, does it count as a public display of affection if they forget we’re here?” Tanabe asked.

“You’ve got a point, Tanabe-san.”

Rin’s face heated, but he didn’t regret it.  He settled back in his chair, still holding Haru’s hand against the _sakura_ patterned shoulder of his jacket, and smiled.  “Next question?”

There was amusement in Nishida’s eyes as she shuffled to the next card.  “You mentioned Rocinha, Matsuoka-kun.  We got permission to share a few of the photos from your visit, taken by Haseda Moriko-san.”

The screen between their chairs lit with a sunny picture of the _Complexo Esportivo da Rocinha_ —Haru and Rin each interacting with groups of kids in and around the 25m pool.

“What do you think, Matsuoka-kun?  Any future Olympians in the bunch?”

Rin thought of João immediately, but it wasn’t time yet to talk about his dad.  Haru squeezed his fingers and slipped free as Rin shifted seamlessly into Captain mode.  “They have the fundamentals down for sure.  The kids were just amazing.  Energetic, eager, big dreams.  The coaching staff is an excellent group—you can tell how much they’re investing in those kids.  At that age—it doesn’t matter where you come from—having someone say that _you_ have something to show the world that no one else can…that’s how dreams become plans and plans become reality.”  Rin smiled, thinking fondly of the kids.  “So, future Olympians?  They absolutely have the heart and the drive.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them show up four or eight years from now.”

“It’d be fun to swim together again,” Haru said.

Rin nodded.  “Now, what they don’t need…” he let his face smooth, “is to be afraid of getting caught in the crossfire of a gang-police shootout on the way to school or swim practice.  They shouldn’t have to miss their college entrance exams because their neighborhood is pinned down by gunfire.  No one should.”  Rin paused for a breath, letting his words fade into the silence of the audience listening.  “There are complex challenges in Rocinha, but we met incredible community activists there.  They’re the ones who know best what their city needs and how to make change happen.  We spent a lot of time listening and learning from them.”

Haru nodded.

“As an artist, Nanase-kun, what was your impression?” Tanabe asked.

Haru’s eyes widened.  “It was amazing.  Architecture, street art, music.  It was all vibrant and _free_.  I could’ve spent a lot more time there just looking and taking pictures and drawing.”

“Like this?”  Nishida gestured to the screen, which changed to a picture of Haru gazing at a wall of colorful graffiti, his camera clutched in two hands.

 _That’s a good one._   Rin grinned.

“ _Nn_.”  Haru’s expression turned sheepish.  “It was really inspiring.”

Their hosts smiled.  “We have a few more pictures,” Tanabe said.

There was a photo of them walking with Marcela and one of them on the guest house roof with Daniel.  The audience laughed at a picture of Rin dragging Haru away from the fish laid out at the street market (Haru gave him a miffed look askance, to which Rin shrugged).  

 _We were on a tight schedule_.

Then, there was a series of pictures with Gabriela and her family.  The sports anchors stopped on a photo of Rin holding Gabriela’s infant cousin and looking entirely frightened—the same scene Haru had drawn in his sketchbook.  As the crowd _awww’d_ , Rin blushed.

“How do you explain this one, Matsuoka-kun?” Nishida asked.

“Gabriela’s aunt just put the baby in my arms.  I didn’t have any idea what to do.”

Nishida chuckled.  “I’m afraid that’s obvious.”

In the next picture, Haru was there too, the two of them standing close together with Gabriela’s cousin in the middle.  Now, Rin was holding the baby properly while Haru adjusted the girl’s baby blanket.  Rin was noticeably relaxed in this photo, gazing at Haru.

A warm lump formed in Rin’s throat.  _We look like parents._   He glanced aside—

Haru’s eyes were full of the same awe and hope and promise Rin felt.  They quietly joined hands again, determination adding to the silent wavelength running between them.

Rin turned back to their hosts.  “Haru, uh, had to step in.  He’s got more experience with children than I do.”

“Siblings, Nanase-kun?”

Haru shook his head.  “My best friend has younger twin siblings.  I used to help him growing up.”

“This picture is really beautiful,” Nishida said.

 _I think so too._  

The last picture was back at the pool—a coordinated shot with Rin and Haru in the center, all of the children, and the coaches.  Rin picked out João and Gabriela among the smiling faces.

“Did you get everything out of the experience that you hoped for, Nanase-kun?”

“I never could have imagined,” Haru said.  “I thought I was going to see the water from the news articles.  Instead, I met people filled with life, passionate about their community, and free to express themselves.  The water’s best when I can share it with people I care about.  I met a lot of those people on Sunday.”

“Anything to add, Matsuoka-kun?”

“I echo what Haru said.  Definitely an experience I’ll never forget.”

“I’d like to come back and visit again someday.  Maybe…”  Haru looked at him searchingly.

_Haru, please don’t bring up the baby trees._

Haru smiled with his eyes. 

“We’ll be back someday,” Rin said.

“I’m sure those kids will be eager to see you again,” Nishida said, smiling at the photo as she switched cards.  “The two of you are an inspiration in so many ways; I’ll bet Sunday was a day they’ll always remember.”

Rin nodded, swallowing as he spent another moment looking at the picture—looking at João.  He felt the weight of the bronze medal in his pocket.  It was time, and he knew it before Nishida ever asked the question—

“What about for you, Matsuoka-kun?  When you were that age, was there someone who inspired you?”

The emotion welled up instantaneously, blurring his vision with liquid.  _Here I thought I could get through this without losing it.  Who am I kidding?_   He blinked a few times, drawing strength from the warm grip Haru had on his hand and the quiet compassion in blue eyes.  “Yeah,” Rin whispered, managing a smile as he turned back to their hosts.  “It was my dad.  He used to swim competitively before I was born.  Some of my earliest memories are being in the pool with him—when he taught me and my sister, Gou, how to swim.  She never got into it seriously, but I did.”  Rin paused for breath, gathering himself together.  “I don’t remember how old I was when I started talking about the Olympics, but I remember Athens in 2004 pretty vividly.  My dad and I watched Team Japan on TV, at the Olympic trials and during the Games.  I think that’s when the dream got serious for me; he always talked like it was _going_ to happen.  He always—” Rin’s voice broke as he thought of the envelope on his nightstand, “—he _always_ believed in me.”

“It must have been devastating to lose him,” Nishida said in gentle tones.

“Yeah.”  Rin swiped quickly at his eyes, determined to push through.  “The Olympics was his dream that he never got to achieve.  Since he died, my life’s been focused on getting here—for both of us.  It made the setbacks so much harder.  But…” Rin squeezed Haru’s hand tight, meeting his lover’s gaze, “I’ve got amazing people who care about me.  They’re the ones who pulled me through when I didn’t think I could go any further.”

Haru squeezed back, his eyes full of affection—a thousand whispered _I love you’s_ and _I’m not the only one, Rin._

He knew it now.  He wasn’t doubting it anymore.

“This must have meant so much to you, Matsuoka-kun.  Being here.  Swimming, even medaling.”

“Hai.”  Rin dipped his head.  “I wasn’t really expecting how emotional it would be.  It’s been hard being here without him.  At the same time, I feel…”  A tear or two spilled from his eyes, but damnit there wasn’t any point in fighting it now.  Tanabe motioned to one of the stagehands.  “I feel like I was able to reconnect with him here.  And I’ve started to work through a lot of things that, for years, I just couldn’t face about losing him.  So while it’s been difficult, it’s been _freeing_ , too.”  Rin exhaled heavily, the honesty and openness— _finally_ —felt like chains unraveling from his heart.

A tissue box appeared on the table in front of them, the stagehand ducking out of the way.  Nishida picked up the box, offering it across.  “Every loss is its own journey.  I can’t imagine any better tribute to your father’s memory than what you just shared with us.  Thank you, Matsuoka-kun.”

Rin snagged a tissue, nodding since he couldn’t manage words around the lump in his throat.  _I did it—I really did it.  Dad, I love you so much_.  Rin pressed the tissue to his eyes, sopping up the tears as Haru reached across and hugged him.

A tear-filled wail came from the audience.  _“Matsuoka, we love you!”_

Rin grinned, freeing a hand to wave, and the crowd cheered in reply, tissue boxes being passed from table to table.  It felt _good_.  Not as good as it would’ve been if his father had been here, but this was the next best thing.  He relaxed in Haru’s arms, feeling loved and accepted; there wasn’t any trace of shame.

“Well, there’s no good segue from here,” Tanabe said as the applause died down.  “ _But_ , Nanase-kun, favorite moments here in Rio?  Or favorite races?”

“Favorite races?” Haru murmured.

Rin smiled, shrugging off his lover as he finished drying his face.

“Mm.  All of them.”

“All of them?”

Haru nodded.  “All the ones I got to swim with Rin, which was—”

“…All of them.”

Rin laughed along with the crowd.

-x-

“…Since we only have a few minutes left, let’s talk Tokyo 2020.”  Tanabe flipped to his last card.  “Four years, guys.  What’s the plan?”

Rin and Haru exchanged a glance.

“Swimming,” Haru said.

“College.  We should both be done by then.”  Rin smiled.  “Unless you change majors.”

“Mm.  I’d still be done first.”

“Is that a race too?” Nishida asked.

“Haru’s got a head start.”

Haru pursed his lips.  “Though he’s right I might change my mind.”

“But as far as swimming goes…?”

Rin drew a breath, questioning his lover wordlessly.  _You ready for this?_

Haru nodded.

“Absolutely,” Rin said, facing their hosts.  “It’s a given that it’s our goal to swim for Japan in 2020.  We’ve been proud to represent our country here in Rio and we’re excited about everything that Tokyo 2020 represents.  ‘Striving for personal best…’”

Haru picked up seamlessly, “The ‘legacy for the future.’”

“And ‘Unity in diversity.’”  Rin let the last part hang in the air briefly as they purposely reordered the Tokyo 2020 vision. 

Haru squeezed his fingers.  “We’re going to do everything we can to practice hard and be ready.  It’s a banner we’d be proud to swim under.  We’d be even prouder if we can swim under it as husbands.”

Muffled squeals mixed with murmurs in the crowd. 

 _You nailed it, Haru_.  Rin gripped his lover’s hand, beaming with pride.  “No one’s even proposed yet and you’re already planning the date for our wedding.”

Haru didn’t miss a beat with the gentle tease.  “Tokyo’s in four years, Rin.  You don’t want to wait that long.  You’re not a patient person.”

 _I don’t want to wait that long._   “Look who’s talking.”  Rin settled back in his chair.  “Right now it’s a dream—getting married and starting our family.  Someday it won’t be.”

“We’re hoping that Someday doesn’t take too long to get here,” Haru said.

There was a collective intake of breath from the audience as Haru’s words faded.

Nishida lowered her notecards.  “Well said, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun.  We—” she nodded to Tanabe beside her, “join you in that hope.  From our hearts to yours, we wish you everything—all of your dreams—in swimming and in life.”

Rin and Haru bowed their heads in unison.  “Thank you.”

Nishida turned to the crowd.  “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll stay to take a few of your questions.  Before that, please, join us in thanking Nanase-kun and Matsuoka-kun for their time today.”

Rin and Haru got to their feet with the sports anchors as hearty applause followed.  They shook hands with Nishida and Tanabe, waving as technicians ushered them backstage.  Rin could hear the crowd stirring as soon as they were out of sight.

“I don’t understand—why can’t they get married now?”  “What about Shibuya?”

The techs turned off their microphones and freed them from all of the wiring.  “You guys did great.”  The sentiment was repeated by several of the others, pats on the shoulders and handshakes all around.

“Thanks,” Rin murmured.  It was a load off in so many ways.

“Tsuchiya-san was just here…  I think she stepped around the corner.”  The tech pointed to a black curtained partition near the catering table.

They headed that direction as the techs hovered by the stage.  Rin felt a lightness in his step, even though there were nerves in his stomach too. 

“Think we’ll get in trouble?” Haru whispered.

 _Using the JOC’s own words?_ Rin shrugged.  “Dunno.  I thought we were pretty tactful.”

Haru’s eyes softened.  He walked into Rin’s arms.  “Whatever happens, I’m glad we did that.  All of it.”

Rin smiled, settling his arms around Haru’s shoulders and squeezing tight.  “Me too.”

At length, they parted, going over to the catering spread and grabbing water bottles while they waited…

“I’m saying this is the perfect opportunity, Saeki-san.”  Tsuchiya’s voice came from the other side of the partition.  “Show the world that the JOC is serious about the 2020 motto.  That it wasn’t just a lip service tagline for IOC votes.”

Rin paused with the bottle halfway to his lips.  He glanced askance at Haru.

“…Which is why I dare the JOC to do more than issue statements.  You’ve been content to parade them around as your poster athletes for months—”

Rin’s mouth went dry.  He lowered the bottle.

“You want to accuse me of having an agenda?  Just because I put them on a billboard in Shibuya?  I’d do it again in a heartbeat.  They deserve more.  Just like—”  There was a short pause, Tsuchiya’s voice softening.  “We never did enough back then, Saeki.  I’m not making the same mistake twice.  …I’ll give you an hour before I’m upstairs in President Hamada’s office.”  There was a hard sigh, then Tsuchiya rounded the partition, slipping her Blackberry into her pocket—

She stopped at the sight of them, lips pursing.  “I suppose you overheard…”  Tsuchiya bowed low.  “My apologies.  It was not my intention to have that conversation in front of you.”

“Are we an agenda, Tsuchiya-san?” Haru asked, his voice cool.

She straightened, meeting their gaze unflinchingly.  “Agendas don’t get midnight tickets to Málaga, Nanase-kun.  I learned the difference between labels and people a long time ago—the hard way.  I can’t make promises, but I will do what I can.”

Rin relaxed.  “We’re grateful for all that you’ve done for us, Tsuchiya-san.”

She exhaled, rubbing her brow in a rare display of vulnerability.  “I’m the one who’s grateful, Matsuoka-kun.  Are you ready to head out?  I have transportation waiting.”

“Sure.”  Rin caught Haru’s hand.

-x-

“Hey you guys!”  Otani waved from the athletes’ spectating area high in the bleachers at the _Maria Lenk Aquatic Center_.

Rin adjusted his shades, not that they were any kind of camouflaged in their white Team Japan polo shirts and blue-gray shorts.  They climbed the stairs, joining their teammates.  Rin took a seat beside Otani.  Sada and Kawamura were beyond her, Captain Ikehara and his wife and daughter waving from one section over.

Otani was wearing her red Team Japan hat with her white polo, her brown hair poking out from the back in a ponytail.  “Matsuoka, that was, um…”

“Hm?”

“The interview.”  She smiled.  “It was really awesome what you said—about your dad.”

“Thanks, Otani.”  Rin smiled back, seeing a warmth in teal eyes that reminded him of Gou—just a little.

“There they are.”  Sada sat forward, flipping a bit of black hair back from her forehead over aviator shades.  “Come on, ladies.”

They were just in time to watch the Japanese women’s synchro duet, the pair striding out with perfectly coordinated steps in glittering suits that were bright yellow, purple, and fuchsia with red and white whorls.

“Those suits are amazing,” Haru murmured, gazing over the top of his sunglasses with sparkling eyes.  “Why can’t we have suits like that?”

Rin cocked a brow.  “Glitter, Haru?”

Blue eyes flicked to him askance.  “Fireworks.”

Rin pressed his lips, his cheeks warming.  _Yeah, I got nothing_.  He grinned, slinging an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they got in on the cheering.

…After watching the Japanese women get bronze medals in the synchro duet, they spent the rest of the afternoon cruising in a pack from venue to venue, supporting Team Japan.  It was lowkey and relaxed, Rin holding Haru’s hand whenever he felt like it, enjoying their teammates’ good-natured hazing about their ‘wedding’ last night, and watching their Japanese peers give their all.  Rin couldn’t have asked for a more perfect final day in Rio (aside from the fact that they skipped the gym again). 

As for their final Rio _night_ …  The sun had set by the time they made it back to the Athletes’ Village, well before their mandatory 8PM curfew.  They passed through security, gathering their things on the other side.  Rin had his fingers loosely tangled with Haru’s as they trailed the others.

“Dinner, or…?” he asked, his heart starting to pound.

Haru eyed the dining hall in the distance.  “We can go later.”

Heat gathered permanently in Rin’s cheeks as they made their way to their tower.  They checked in at the front desk in the lobby for curfew, riding a crowded elevator up to the eighth floor—

_Why do I hear music?_

The elevator doors slid open to roving lights in pink, yellow, and blue with four shirtless members of the rugby team singing a boy band song on Takara’s karaoke machine.  _All_ of the couches and coffee tables had been dragged out into the atrium—including those from Rin and Haru’s apartment—and Koda was mixing drinks behind a makeshift bar built from stacked crates with a board across the top.  People were dancing and mingling, including the Mikoshiba brothers who were strutting around in the center of the dance floor in their speedos and way too much glistening body oil.  All that and it was still tamer than Saturday night without the Australians present (plus Coach Akagi was hanging out on a nearby couch with a beer).

“Newlyweds!”  Takara—obviously a few drinks in—came over and threw her arms around both of them.  Her black hair was loose; she wore the same white Team polo and dark blue shorts as they did.  “Come on, it’s karaoke night!”

“Did you go straight from hungover to more drinking?” Rin muttered under his breath.

“ _Pfff_.  Whatever, Matsuoka.  At least I didn’t get married last night.”  She laughed, pulling them over to the bar.  “A round for the happy couple!”

“ _Oi_ …”  Rin frowned at the scatter of bottles in front of them.

“ _Caipirinhas_ , no alcohol,” Haru said.

“Taking cheap date to a whole new level.”  Koda grinned.  “You got it.”  He set two plastic cups on the board and started pouring.

Rin sighed.  “Let me put this away,” he said, tugging the backpack from Haru’s shoulders. 

“OK.”

Rin wove through the crowd to apartment 804 and slipped inside.  He could hear the bass thumping through the walls even in their bedroom.  Dropping the backpack inside the door, he made use of the facilities and washed his face in the sink.  After one song, maybe two, hopefully everyone would be drunk enough that they could escape unnoticed…  It wasn’t like anyone would believe the ‘ _we’re packing our suitcases_ ’ excuse.

The beds were made up—side by side with their matching blue Rio comforters.  Rin flicked one of the reading lights on and left it for later.  He paused by the bed, by his nightstand, his face going hot.  Rin opened the drawer, taking out the opaque plastic bag from the _Policlínica_.  His pulse was pounding in his throat as he withdrew one of the green packets and a couple of the silver ones, placing them on top of the nightstand, next to his stack of Rio medals.  Rin’s cheeks burned as he looked at the ‘supplies’ laid out like that.  No one was going to be in here but them, _still_ …

Rin rubbed the back of his neck.  _Ah, fuck it._   He closed the drawer, leaving the packets where they were and heading out the door.

More of their teammates were in the atrium when Rin returned, Sada taking over at the bar for Koda while Otani sat down next to Coach Akagi with a soda can. 

Haru met him with raised brows, holding two plastic cups.  “I was about to come find you,” he murmured, studying Rin’s face.

“You should’ve,” Rin muttered, taking his cup and swallowing a mouthful of the fizzy drink in an attempt to cool the fire blazing under his skin.

Haru smirked with his eyes, snaking a hand around his waist, beneath Rin’s untucked polo shirt.  “Dance with me, Rin.”

Rin wet his lips, letting Haru lead him onto the dance floor.

-x-

Mikoshiba and Takara drunkenly butchered Owl City’s _Good Time_ but at least the beat was decent, followed by Ozawa owning _Shake It Off_ by Taylor Swift in her perfect English.  Rin had finished his drink, the rim of the empty cup dangling from his teeth as he played with the collar of Haru’s shirt, thumbing the sensitive skin underneath.  Haru had been giving him pool eyes for a while now, subtly dancing them towards the edge of the atrium as the song faded…

The crowd cheered loudly, Ozawa doing a theatrical bow as she left the ‘stage.’

Koda grabbed the microphone.  “Yumi-chan, don’t go anywhere.  This next song’s for you.”  He programmed the machine and the music started up—

The entire atrium groaned, a few empty cups flying as Koda began to do the most awkward dance ever in his Team Japan polo shirt and shorts.

“Koda!  It’s not 2006 anymore!”

But Koda ignored them all, jumping in with a smooth English baritone, “ _We’re no strangers to love.  You know the rules and so do I.  A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of.  You wouldn’t get this from any other guy…_ ”

“This is a good song,” Haru said.

Rin rolled his eyes, groaning as he pulled the cup from his mouth.  “Shut up, Haru.”

“… _Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down_ —”

Ozawa looked pissed, one hand on her hip in her matching polo shirt and shorts, her hair caught up into its usual wavy ponytail.  She only let Koda get halfway through the song before she marched over to the machine and reprogrammed it, grabbing the spare microphone.  “Single ladies, help me out here!”

Takara, Konishi, and most of the field hockey team joined her, belting out Beyoncé as Ozawa wagged her vacant left ring finger in Koda’s face.

“ _If you liked it, then you should’ve put a ring on it.  Don't be mad once you see that he want it…_ ”

“This has been going on since London, huh?” Rin asked.

Haru nodded.  “Apparently.”

As Ozawa and the others danced, Koda felt up his pockets.  He pulled out his silver medal from the 200 IM.

Rin and Haru shared a glance.

Ozawa was unperturbed, pulling out her gold medal from the 200 fly and dangling it by its colorful lanyard.

Koda put his medal away, making a show of checking his pockets again.  He came up with a box and got down on one knee.

Team Japan shrieked and squealed, Ozawa staring wide-eyed at Koda as the song continued to play sans vocals.

Koda offered up the box, the ring sparkling under the roving karaoke lights.  “Yumiko, I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but I love you—I’ll always love you.  Will you marry me?”

Ozawa’s eyes gleamed.  “ _Takuya_ …”

Koda grinned.  “I didn’t forget the promise we made in London.”

“But we were drunk!”  She pulled him up and hugged him, the crowd cheering loudly.

“Semi-public proposal?” Haru murmured.

“Still too public,” Rin muttered.  _Romantic though._

Haru smiled.

Koda slid the ring onto Ozawa’s finger, the couple kissing and leaving the dance floor locked in each other’s arms.

 _Nn…we should’ve escaped while everyone was distracted_.

Takara and the other women were still crowded around the karaoke machine.  “Matsuoka!”

“Yeah!  Matsuoka!” 

Rin muffled a groan.

“Rin, hold this.”  Haru pushed his half-full cup into Rin’s hand, giving him a peck on the cheek before he threaded through the crowd to center stage.

 _Great, what now?_   Haru wasn’t drunk, so—

Rin watched with mild trepidation as his lover chatted with Konishi and a trio from the field hockey team.

Takara, drunk as hell, tottered over and elbowed Rin in the arm.  “Are we gonna see back-to-back proposals?”

_I sure as fuck hope not._

Haru had one microphone while the women shared the other.  He looked straight at Rin, eyes glittering.  “Don’t worry, Rin.  This isn’t a proposal song.”

The team yelled and catcalled, several members boxing Rin lightly in the shoulders.

As the music started, Rin’s brows climbed his forehead.  _Now_ you’re _singing Katy Perry?_

Haru thrust one arm high, letting it fall sensuously—fingers running through his hair and down the curve of his neck as he sang.  “ _You think I’m pretty without any makeup on.  You think I’m funny when I tell the punchline wrong.  I know you get me, so I let my walls come down…down—”_

The women squealed, Rin’s eyes bugging.  It wasn’t Ozawa’s English, but it was way better than Takara’s and Haru was _into it_. 

_“Before you met me, I was alright, but things were kind of heavy.  You brought me to life—”_

Takara shrieked, pulling on Rin’s arm.  “Matsuoka!  Go be left shark!”

“Oh, like hell I’m flailing around up there.”  He took a sip of Haru’s drink, just to _try_ to calm his suddenly racing heart—

_“Let’s go all the way tonight—”_

Rin choked, nearly spitting out a mouthful of virgin _caipirinha_.

_“—No regrets, just love.  We can swim until we die.  You and I—we’ll be young forever—”_

He managed to swallow, unable to appreciate the lyric modification with his face on fire and Haru giving him bedroom eyes while the women joined in for the chorus. 

_“You make me feel like I’m living a teenage dream, the way you turn me on—”_

_Fuck it all_.  Rin gulped down the rest of Haru’s drink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  He was way more turned on than embarrassed, especially with Haru dancing as fluidly as he swam and running a hand over his own clothes while singing.  Rin _endured_ the rest of the song—the whole team singing along by the end of it. 

_“I’mma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight—”_

Takara and Mikoshiba were jumping around next to Rin during the final chorus, until one of them lost their feet and Takara crashed into him.  Rin winced as room temperature alcohol spilled across his polo shirt and dripped onto his shorts.

“Matsuoka, sorry!”  Takara laughed, waving her now-empty cup.  “Haruka!  Come help your husband!  He needs to change.”

Haru relinquished the microphone, leaving the ‘stage’ as the rest of the song played out.  He cocked a brow at the state of Rin’s clothes.

Then Takara and a few of the others were shoving them off the dance floor.  “Get out of here, newlyweds!  Don’t come back for at least three minutes!”

Haru got the door to their apartment, Rin holding his sopping shirt as they headed inside.  Another song started up, bass pulsing through the thin walls even after Haru closed their bedroom door.

Rin stripped off his drenched shirt in the bathroom.  “Not a proposal song, huh?” he muttered, eyeing his lover as Haru joined him.

“It wasn’t,” Haru said, his gaze roving Rin’s naked torso.  He came close with smoldering eyes, taking hold of Rin’s waist with both hands.  “We needed an exit.”

Rin muffled a groan as Haru brushed their hips together. 

“You liked it, Rin.”  Blue eyes smirked victoriously.

Rin growled low in his throat, burying a hand in Haru’s hair as he pulled their mouths together.  “Shut up.”

Between kisses, they stripped down to their square legs and bracelets in the bathroom, nimble fingers loosening the cord ties of each other’s suits as they felt their way to the bedroom and sank down to the bed.  When they finally broke for air, Rin braced on his elbows with Haru sprawled out beneath him on the blue comforter.  Their gazes, as one, landed on the packets laid out on the nightstand. 

Rin’s face reignited.  “Should we, uh…  Flip a coin or something?”  He cringed at himself.  _Matsuoka, you did not just suggest heads or tails…_

But Haru was looking up at him, all affectionate, relaxed, and _willing_.  “You can go first if you want to.  It’s fine with me.”

Rin’s mouth went dry as he considered it—half of his fantasies were like that, with Haru in his arms, shark bites, and liquid moans.  As for the other half…

“Fuck,” he whispered as his thoughts drifted to this morning, waking up with his _sort of_ husband and Haru pressing him to the sheets, eager to consummate their _sort of_ marriage…  Rin exhaled slowly, his breath wavering.  “You do it,” he murmured.  “This time.”

Haru’s eyes softened.  He reached for Rin’s hand, kissing the bracelet on his wrist and his vacant ring finger.  “OK.”  Haru rolled them, placing Rin underneath.  He leaned down for a kiss, long and deep and slow.  “Anything you don’t like, promise you’ll tell me,” Haru whispered.

Rin looked up into the eyes of the one he loved and melted against the blanket.  “Promise.”

The room was chilly with the air-conditioning running and they sought the warmth beneath the comforter as soon as they were naked.  Rin lay back in the glow of the reading light at the head of the bed, the music still thumping indecipherably through the walls.  He measured his breaths as Haru carefully did the prep work, feeling like his heart was going to knock itself right out of his chest.  It felt…odd, different, but it wasn’t bad and it didn’t hurt—  Rin’s breath hitched, a sharp groan torn from his lips as Haru decided at that moment to _distract_ him.  Ripples of pleasure went through him, his hips bucking lightly against the pillow Haru had placed under his lower back.  Rin clutched a fistful of the sheets as Haru kept going, the shift in focus apparently intentional.  The combined sensation was mind-numbingly good and if Haru didn’t stop soon—

Rin managed a grunt, pulling away slightly.  “ _Haru_.”  He glared at the lump under the blue comforter, Haru popping his head up with a sheen of moisture on his lips and a faux innocent expression glittering in his eyes.

“Hm?”

 _Damnit, Haru_.  Rin exhaled hard through his nose.

Haru smiled, the comforter slipping off his shoulders as he sat back on his heels, continuing a gentle tease with slick fingers.  “I think it’s OK…”

 _Fucking finally._   Rin sat up, grabbing the green packet before Haru could.

Haru’s eyes widened, a startled blush coloring his cheeks, his hands coming to rest on Rin’s thighs.

“I’m doing this part,” Rin muttered, tearing the foil open.

Haru tracked Rin’s movements with his eyes, his chest heaving with slow breaths…

 _Oh, don’t think I’m just gonna put it_ on _you…_   It was Rin’s turn to smirk, shifting onto his knees as he ran his palm down Haru’s chest, over taut abs, and went lower—

Haru’s lashes fluttered, his fingers digging into Rin’s skin as his lips parted in a moan. 

Revenge had never been so satisfying.  Rin wet his lips before he sealed his mouth over Haru’s, working his hand in a languid caress that made Haru tremble against him.  But it was a double-edged sword—feeling how much Haru wanted him, how _ready_ he was.  Rin was _not_ patient and the fervor in their kiss only made it worse.

They drew back, breathless, Rin needing to see to do this part.  Haru’s breath came in irregular fits and starts as Rin got the condom in place, followed by a long exhale when he let go.  Their eyes met; Haru’s had never been so blue; Rin felt like he could fall right into the sea of love and passion he read therein. 

He drew a sharp breath, breaking their gaze to glance at the sheets.  “Where’s the other…?”

“Got it.”  Haru found the silver packet first and broke it open.

Rin’s heart was back to pounding.  He looped his arms over Haru’s shoulders, settling across his lover’s lap with his knees denting the mattress.

“Rin?” Haru asked, gathering him close.  There was a warm blush in Haru’s cheeks to match the heat Rin felt in his face.  Neither of them was really breathing. 

Rin nodded.  Their torsos were flush, Haru slipping a hand underneath to guide while Rin slowly sank down—

His eyes fell closed, his hiss of breath drowned out by the moan Haru pressed to his skin.  To say it was a _tight fit_ was sort of ridiculous; Rin took his time for once, letting gravity do the work until he couldn’t go any further, resting against Haru’s thighs.  He tilted his head back, drawing full breaths as Haru shook in his arms, rough gasps of air hitting his collarbone.  A few moments ticked by with heartbeats and breathing, Rin gradually relaxing in their embrace.  Aside from the shaking—and Haru gripping his hips hard enough to leave marks—Haru was holding _very_ still and it was amusing to wonder how long his considerate lover would _wait_ for Rin to be ready.  _I’m adjusted_.  The bit of discomfort was offset by pleasant skin-on-skin friction and if Haru would just move a little, damnit, Rin was sure it would feel even better.

He rocked his hips forward, impatient.  A wealth of new sensations radiated outward from the joining of their bodies, Rin’s breath gliding over his teeth.

Haru grunted, lifting his head.  His eyes were dark, his breaths coming hard and Rin knew instantly what _wrecked with pleasure_ meant.  _I like this look on you, Haru._   He rocked again, watching Haru’s eyelashes flutter, feeling the way his abs tensed and fingers dug a little more into Rin’s skin.

Rin smirked, ducking his head to catch an earlobe with his teeth, running his lips down the column of his lover’s throat to feel Haru’s racing pulse before he bit down lightly on Haru’s shoulder—

“ _Nn, Rin_ —”  It was a protest, Haru pulling away from his mouth.

“Haru, _damnit_.”

“I was trying to let you—”

“I’m _good_.  _Fuck_.”

Haru’s pleasure-drenched eyes lit with amusement.  “Bossy and impatient as usual.”  Their lips met, the kiss deep and invasive and everything Rin wanted.

Their breaths were equally rough as Haru leaned their heads together, his arms wrapped around Rin’s torso.  “Hold on to me,” he whispered and lowered them to the bed.

…The loud offkey karaoke was an unexpected blessing, drowning out the creaking mattress and a few muttered expletives as they worked out where legs should go and buried themselves under the blankets.  But they sorted things out quickly, flowing into a rhythm that suited them and filling the room with groans and gasping breaths as they moved together. 

The sensations were overwhelming, pleasures building rapidly, especially when Haru got his aim dialed in just right—  It was all touch, the taste of salt gathering on Rin’s lip, the sound of their passions, and sights, too.  Haru was above him, his head tipped forward, sweat-dampened shards of hair falling in his eyes.  Haru’s lips were parted around ragged breaths, nearly panting.  It hadn’t taken long to get to this point, but despite his earlier bravado, Rin doubted he could last either.  He groaned at the sweet assault on his senses, kicking off the comforter when the warmth got to be too much.  Rin locked his ankles higher around his lover’s torso, running his fingers through Haru’s hair, fingertips scraping through the feather-light fringe at the nape of Haru’s neck.

Haru jolted against him, his blue eyes flaring wide, a trembling breath running past his lips.  Rin choked back a moan, sliding his palm against one flushed, reddened cheek and watching his lover’s lashes fall.

“ _Rin_ …”  His name was a labored, fading whisper.  Haru sank down onto an elbow, slipping a hand between them—

A muffled curse word fell from Rin’s lips, his lashes fluttering at the sensory overload, losing sanity by the second—  The telltale heat surged through his body like lightning, his release following with hard shudders of pleasure, Rin tipping his head back to gasp for breath.  Haru was shaking, holding tight to Rin as he moved, three final glides accompanied by a low groan before he went boneless, resting heavy against Rin’s chest.

…The atrium party was still going strong as they lay trembling and spent in each other’s arms.  Rin slowly caught his breath, his nerves continuing to fire off in sharp echoes, the pleasure rippling through his body.  It had never been _this_ intense before.  Haru’s cheek was pressed to his skin, hard puffs of air hitting Rin’s collarbone as the air conditioning cooled their sweat-slicked limbs.  The blue comforter was halfway off the bed, sliding to the floor.

He didn’t _want_ to move, but his legs were starting to cramp.  Rin unlocked his ankles, shifting underneath his lover and drawing a deeper breath.  “Haru…”

“Nm…”  Haru pushed himself up, their soft groans mingling as they untangled themselves and carefully separated.

Rin made a grab for the tissue box on the nightstand as Haru dropped down to the bed beside him.  They cleaned up enough for now, then returned to each other, trading slow, deep kisses in the afterglow. 

Rin was pleasantly breathless when they parted, music still pulsing through the walls as Haru brushed sweaty garnet strands from his cheek.

“It was OK?” Haru asked.

 _Are you fucking kidding?_   Rin snorted with laughter, tackling his lover—his _sort of_ husband, his partner—to the sheets.  “You have to ask?”

Haru’s eyes warmed with delight.  “Just making sure.”

Rin’s heart skipped a beat or two or three.  He laced their fingers together, soaking up Haru’s smile as they curled up on their sides, face-to-face, cool enough now for the blanket that Haru drew over them.  Eventually, they needed to grab a shower, get dinner, finish packing, but…  Rin closed his eyes, snuggling into Haru’s embrace.  _Not yet._

* * *

Wednesday, August 17th, 2016

* * *

Three AM was their normal Rio _bedtime_ , not morning wakeup.  Rin stifled a yawn as they dragged their suitcases from the elevator, surrounded by drunk and hungover teammates.  The Japanese swim team was a sea of pinstripe blazers, white polos, and gray slacks, shuffling towards the exit in their white leather dress shoes.  Rin wasn’t sure whose idea it was for them to dress formal just to go to the airport in the middle of the night.  Any other time, he liked the look—Rin and Haru rocked the outfits down to the last _stitch_ —but twenty minutes ago he’d been napping _naked_ in bed with Haru and nothing compared to that.

Haru pulled his suitcase to the side of the lobby, near the glass doors to the first-floor office complex.  “Rin, I’ll just be a minute.”  He set his stuff down—everything except for the box containing the inflatable tub.

“Haru, no one’s gonna be here.  It’s three in the morning.”

“There might be someone,” Haru said, opening the door.  “I’ll leave a note.”

Rin sighed, rolling his luggage over to Haru’s and setting his backpack down.  He went through the door, catching up halfway down the corridor.

Haru glanced at him.  “You didn’t have to come.”

Rin shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gray slacks.  “It’s OK.”

Haru’s blue eyes softened.  “You’d usually be more irritable when you haven’t slept enough.”

“I’m irritable,” Rin muttered.  _I’m also mellow as hell, thanks to you._   It was hard to be too cranky when little things—pangs, stiff muscles, stray thoughts—kept reminding him of their lovemaking.

Pleasure warmed Haru’s face, a faint dusting of pink coming into his cheeks.

 _This is not helping the next thirty hours go any fucking faster._   Fourteen hours to Dubai, a layover, and ten more hours to Narita…  By the time he was home at his apartment, it would almost be Friday.  As much as he missed his own pillow, the thought of sleeping alone without Haru thrilled him as much as their impending travel.

They rounded the corner, approaching the JOC offices and there _was_ a light on, glowing through the frosted glass.  Rin wondered what poor JOC intern had drawn the short straw for the night shift as Haru rapped lightly on the door.

Movement came from inside the room, followed by footsteps.

JOC Senior Executive Board member Saeki Aina opened the door.  At first Rin was too startled to speak—Saeki was the last person he expected to see, especially with circles under her eyes and dressed in a pants suit she’d clearly been wearing all day.  Her black hair fell loose and straight to her shoulders and a bit of ink was smudged on her fingers as she held the door handle.

“Matsuoka?  Nanase?”  Her lips pursed.

Rin finally remembered his manners and bowed.  His thoughts ran back hours as he blinked at the carpet, recalling the phone call he and Haru had overheard…  He couldn’t help but wonder what conversations had followed in President Hamada’s office.

“I came to return this,” Haru said.  “Some other members of the team borrowed it for me.”

Saeki stood aside, motioning them into the office.  They went inside, following her around a few partitions to the desk with the lamp on.  Its surface was covered with printouts, pens, and crumpled pieces of paper torn out of a notepad.  Coffee in a white JOC mug looked like it had gone cold some time ago.

Saeki returned to her chair, waving them to seating in front of the desk.

Rin silently took one of the chairs, Haru sitting beside him.

She took off her glasses, grabbing a cleaning cloth from the desk to rub the lenses.  “That’s yours if you want it, Nanase-kun.  I approved the distribution myself.  No return required.”

Haru hesitated for a moment, then dipped his head.  “Thank you, Saeki-san.”

“No need.”  She folded the cloth, sliding her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose.  “The JOC exists in support of our athletes.  …After all, without you there is no Olympic Committee, no Olympic Sport, no Olympic movement in Japan.”  Her lips tightened.  “In the past, the Committee hasn’t always remembered that.  Even now, I can’t vouch for the memory of everyone.”

Rin drew a slow breath and held it.  _We’re definitely not talking about inflatable therapy equipment anymore…_

“But…”  Saeki exhaled, her voice and face softening.  “For the rest of us, we know that there is no Olympic _movement_ without change.  It’s the reason we’re here, why we believe Sport is a platform to change the world.  Anything less is meaningless spectacle for the amusement of the international elite.”

Rin and Haru looked at each other, saying nothing.

Saeki withdrew a printed page from a leather portfolio on the desk.  “We’ve been fielding inquiries since your interview.  This is a list of prefectural and national authorities, as well as local and international non-governmental organizations who have contacted us.  You’re not the only ones who find it ironic Japan can tout _inclusion_ as a theme for 2020 but not allow its own citizens the freedom to marry as they wish.”

It wasn’t just a name or two, but over a dozen entries in Japanese and English, and that was before Saeki turned the page over.

“Some of these individuals and groups have their own agendas.  Others are on the front lines of the debate and action, including the civil partnership initiatives in particular.  If you’re interested, I can arrange appropriate introductions once we return to Japan.”  Saeki tapped two rows on the page.  “I recommend starting with the representatives in Bunkyo and Shibuya.”

“Really?” Haru asked.

Rin felt the same surge of hope that was resident in Haru’s voice.

Saeki’s face was guarded.  “There’s nothing fast about Japanese politics, Nanase-kun.  It could be a very long time before any legal changes happen.  …But I don’t want you to give up.  Whatever you do, Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun…keep at it.  It might be your voice that finally makes the right people move.” 

 _First the water, then the world._   Their wrists brushed as they sought each other’s hands, interweaving their fingers.  Rin wasn’t afraid to hope anymore, not when he knew how much Haru wanted this too.  _Some dreams are worth any price._

Not letting go, they bowed their heads formally.  “Thank you, Saeki-san.”

She sighed.  “Don’t thank me yet.”  Papers rustled as Saeki straightened things on the desk.  “You can keep this,” she said, pushing the list towards them. 

Rin dipped his head, accepting the page.  With a last glance at Haru, he figured they’d better stop disturbing her work in the middle of the night and go. 

Haru nodded.

“Please pardon the intrusion, Saeki-san,” Rin said.

“One last thing, Matsuoka-kun…”

He looked up as she took two items off a nearby stack of paperwork.  The first was an A4-sized manila envelope.

“Nishida-san and Tanabe-san requested this on your behalf.  I was going to give it to one of your coaches, but since you’re here…”  She handed it over.  “These are your father’s official times from JOC records.”

Rin stopped breathing.

“We wanted to have it ready prior to your interview today, but accessing the older data required a bit of work.”

He swallowed hard, clutching the envelope in his hand.

“Also…”  The second item was a black folder.  “You might ask Coach Fujino about this one.”  She opened it in front of him, lifting a protective cover from the glossy photo print.

 _Dad—_   Rin’s father was the second of four in the picture, younger than Rin remembered, but his grin winged its way straight to Rin’s heart, tearing open a thousand sweet memories.  The swimmers wore matching black and red swimsuits with goggles dangling from necks and wrists and swim caps tucked into waistbands.  His dad’s brown hair was wet and askew in the old photo.  He had an arm perched on the shoulder of the swimmer on the left; on the right, centered in the picture was a young, trimmer version of Coach Fujino.  They were standing in front of a pool and a crowd, _Coca-Cola_ and _Speedo_ banners in the background.

“This is from the FINA World Championships in Rome in 1994, after the…” Saeki checked her notes, “four-by-two hundred freestyle relay.”

A lump formed in Rin’s throat—hard and hot.  Moisture stung his eyes.

Saeki lowered the protective cover into place, closing the folder and offering it to him.

Rin pulled himself together, getting to his feet and bowing deeply.  “Thank you, Saeki-san.”

“I’ll be in touch, in Tokyo.”

They bowed one last time and left the office, Rin carrying the picture and manila envelope as Haru led the way.  It was as much fatigue as emotion that made his vision blur and his heart feel like a leaden weight in his chest.

Haru waited while he carefully tucked the precious objects into his backpack, unable to say a word.  They joined their teammates outside, loading their suitcases onto the bus in the warm predawn, under clear skies dotted with stars.  Rin’s last glimpse of the Athletes’ Village—aglow against a mountain backdrop—was through the window as the bus slowly pulled away from the curb.  As they turned onto the highway, he laid his head on Haru’s shoulder, the backpack in his lap.

-x-

Haru gently woke him when they got to Galeão International Airport.  They carted their bags inside, checking their larger luggage at the Emirates counter and heading off to security.  A few diehard fans had come to see the team off.  Rin and Haru waved, posing for a couple pictures before getting in line.

After security and immigration, they were allowed to change out of their formal clothes in the restroom, hanging their suits in garment bags and donning comfortable traveling outfits instead—T-shirts, casual pants, and sweatshirts.  Rin and Haru staked out a spot in the waiting area in view of the windows where the night sky was lightening over the airplanes parked on the ramp.  Marshallers with their glowing batons directed aircraft traffic while cargo loaders and service equipment zoomed across the concrete.

A few rows over, Coach Fujino was sitting by himself with paperwork on his lap and reading glasses on his nose. 

Rin drew a slow breath as he set his backpack down and opened it.  The nose of the stuffed dolphin poked out as he found the photo folder.  “I’m gonna…”

Haru nodded.  “I’ll watch our stuff.”

“Thanks.”

Rin headed over, his heart thudding in his chest a little more with each step.  He dodged carry-on suitcases and legs before reaching his coach.  The stack of paperwork Fujino had with him was enormous, which was probably why their teammates and the assistant coaches were keeping their distance, lest they get roped into helping. 

“…Excuse me, Coach Fujino?”

Coach Fujino looked up and smiled.  “Matsuoka-kun.”  He took off his reading glasses, tucking them into the neck of the navy-blue polo shirt he wore.  “Actually, I have something for you.”  Fujino reached into his messenger bag, pulling out a large white envelope with the Koutei University logo in the corner.  “I wish I had a better venue to give this to you than the airport, but…  Your application’s been approved.  Welcome to Koutei University.”

“Ah—”  Rin accepted the envelope, bowing his head.  “Thank you, Coach Fujino.”  The contrast wasn’t lost on him—the future he wanted with Haru…and the past he was still working to face.  He held both in his hands.

“Of course.  Now, what can I do for you?” Fujino moved his bag off the seat, making a spot for Rin to sit down.

“I…”  He sat, working to get the words out as he opened the photo folder.  “You swam with my father?”

Fujino put his glasses back on as Rin handed him the picture.  “Ahh.  This is Worlds.  Ninety…”

“Ninety-four.”

Fujino nodded.  “Yes, I did.  Briefly.  Your father was relay-only, so we didn’t train together extensively, but…  A tenacious swimmer, your father.  I do remember that.”  He smiled.  “Runs in the family, hmm?”

Rin relaxed a little, his throat warm.

“You may not appreciate this, but the most vivid memory I have was when we were all letting loose afterwards and your father sang _Eye of the Tiger_ in his underwear.”

Rin blinked.  _Huh?_

Fujino looked away in thought.  “There was a lot of drinking going on, but if I remember right, your father was totally sober.  Not that it stopped him from stripping down and singing karaoke with a Team Japan headband tied on his forehead.”

_Dad, what?_

Fujino chuckled, handing the photo back.  “Your father was a good man and a good teammate.”  He reached over, laying a hand on Rin’s shoulder.  “I’m sorry he didn’t get to watch his son carry on his legacy.  You’ve done well, Matsuoka.”

Emotion gathered in Rin’s eyes as the words he’d longed to hear for a decade fell on his ears.  He dipped his head, fighting the tears with the photo and his Koutei admissions envelope tucked into his arms.

-x-

“…In his underwear?” Haru asked, fastening his seatbelt as they finished settling into row 43 of the Boeing 777-300ER.

“He did it when we were kids, too.”  Rin stowed his backpack under the seat in front of him, slipping a few items into the seatback pocket.  “During the summer when it was hot.  It was his song.”  He smiled fondly at the memory of his dad dancing around the house as he sang with Rin chasing him and Gou in his arms.  Rin’s mom used to laugh and throw laundry.  _Tora!  At least put on_ some _clothes—what if the neighbors see?_

“So that’s where you get it,” Haru said, his eyes sparkling with amusement.  “You know, Rin, it’s not too late to change things up for our clean water event.  I bet we’d raise tons of money if you sang Katy Perry in your underwear.”

“ _Oi_.”  Rin tackled his lover against the window.  “ _Not_ happening, Haru.” 

Takara groaned from the aisle seat.  “If you guys could just _shut up_ for the next fourteen hours, that would be great.”  She sounded pretty miserable, wrapped in a blanket with a mask over her eyes and earplugs stuck in her ears.

They relented, Rin sitting back in his seat.  The plane started to move, pushing back from the gate.

Haru nudged him gently.  “You’re not gonna look?” he asked, his voice soft.

Rin drew a deep breath, shifting his gaze to the manila envelope tucked into the seatback pocket.  He’d been trying to work up the nerve for a while.  As the first engine started, the hum vibrating through the aircraft, Rin pulled the envelope free…  His mouth went dry as he stared at it, the envelope feather-light in his hands, but brick heavy on his heart.  _This is what my dad gave up._   He _wanted_ to look—needed to—but at the same time...

Rin squeezed his eyes shut and sighed.  “You do it,” he said, passing the envelope over.

Haru was quiet for a beat.  “…OK.” 

Rin listened as Haru undid the fastener, pulling out the stack of papers…  Swallowing, he forced his eyes open, watching Haru’s face.  Of course Haru, being his typical stoic self, didn’t give him much other than a slight widening of blue eyes.  He perused the first page in silence, the second, the third…

Rin drummed his fingers against his knee.  “Well?”

Haru got to the end of the papers, his brow knit as he finally looked up.  “Rin, it’s not what you think.”

Rin's nerves did somersaults inside him as he took the stack from Haru, glancing at the first page—

_Japan Swimming Championships 1988 – Seoul Olympic Trials_

Rin forgot how to breathe, his heart tapping a rapid staccato in his chest as he flipped through the papers, just looking at the headers—

 _Japan Swimming Championships 1989, 1990, 1991…  1992 – Barcelona Olympic Trials…  1993…_ For 1994, there were extra pages from Worlds for the 4x200 freestyle relay.  The final pages in the stack were from the Olympic Trials for Atlanta in 1996, a year before Rin was born.

The results sheets were a combination of free and fly times, with his father’s name highlighted.  Ninth place, seventh place, eleventh place…fifth place…fifth place…  His dad’s only qualifying race was a third place finish in the 200m free at the 1994 Japan Swimming Championships, earning him a spot on the relay team—

The pages from the 1996 Olympic Trials trembled in Rin’s fingers, his father’s best finishes tenth and thirteenth that year.  _Tenacious_ was the word Coach Fujino used.  The proof was in Rin’s hands.  For nine years, three Olympics, Rin’s father tried to make his dream a reality…

Things Rin had never let himself remember since the accident came back to him—the way all of his father’s swimming stories were from when he was younger, centered around his sixth-grade relay, middle school swim team and high school achievements.  There were few other medals or pictures and Rin could almost hear his father’s voice in his head, the time he asked about going breathless in the fifty free—how his father smiled and fondly mussed his hair.  _I was never that good, Rin._

He didn’t realize he was crying until the droplets hit the page.  As Haru’s arms circled him, Rin leaned in, shaking, the papers clasped in his hand.  The question that had been burning in his heart for years finally had an answer.  _It wasn’t because of me.  It never was._  

* * *

Thursday, August 18th, 2016

* * *

It was a clear night as the plane banked northeast along the coastline of Japan.  Home was a blanket of glowing lights—earthbound stars lining the darker sea and spreading outward to the horizon.  It was a sight Rin had seen often over the years during countless flights from Sydney.  Tonight was different from any one of those homecomings.  He wasn’t dragging the wall he’d hit or charging home to take revenge.  Instead, there was a stillness in his heart and soul, like placid mornings on the beach in Iwatobi when the sea was calm and the surf rolled gently onto the shore.

Haru was asleep against Rin’s shoulder, using the stuffed shark for a pillow.  The cabin lights were still low, most of the passengers slumbering nearby.  They had the two seats on the left side of row 47 to themselves.

He’d had nothing to do for the last thirty hours except let it all sink in.  The bronze medal from the 4x200m free was warm against his palm.  It was solid and weighty—not nearly the same as having his father’s hand in his, but a comfort nonetheless.  They’d walked the same path, dreamed the same dream, Rin picking up where his father had left off.  It was a relay twenty years—two decades—in the making.  Now the path before Rin was his own, uncharted and new, brimming with the endless possibilities he dreamed of. 

The fasten seatbelt placard lit overhead, a flight attendant speaking over the PA in English.

Haru stirred, lifting his head from Rin’s shoulder and rubbing his eyes.  The stuffed shark fell to his lap; there was an imprint from the toy on Haru’s cheek.

“You won’t sleep at home,” Rin murmured.

“I’ll paint until I’m tired,” Haru said, hugging the shark to his chest.  His blue eyes were drowsy and adorable, lacking the circles underneath that Rin was sure he had.  “What time are you going to the hospital tomorrow?”

“Mid-morning.”  Rin tucked the bronze medal into his backpack, ensuring the bag was snug under his seat. 

“Call me when you get up, Rin.”  Haru reached for his hand.  “I’ll go with you.”

Rin smiled.  Lacing their fingers together, he brought Haru’s wrist to his lips.  “Thanks, Haru.”

-x-

Team Japan turned the tiny bathrooms in Narita customs into locker rooms, washing their faces in the sinks and trying not to elbow each other as they put on their formal attire.  Momo bounded out half-dressed with Mikoshiba in hot pursuit while the relay-only guys—Hirota and Higashi—chattered nonstop and fussed with their hair.  Rin sighed at his reflection in the mirror.  He looked as good as he was going to for over a day’s worth of travel.  Only Furutani’s magic would’ve made things better.  Haru, on the other hand, looked annoyingly alert and well-rested. 

They left the restroom in their blazers and gray slacks, stuffing their travel clothes into their luggage.  Haru had his inflatable tub box back—he’d strapped it to his suitcase and written _Emergency Use Only_ on the top.  Lastly, they donned their medals—Rin’s three and Haru’s four. 

Rin eyed his lover, Haru lifting a brow.

Mirth glittered in Haru’s gaze.  “Should I put one away, Rin?”

Rin snorted.  “Don’t you dare.”

There was one more thing he wanted.  Rin withdrew the cellophane-wrapped envelope from his backpack, running his thumb over his father’s handwritten characters before he slid the envelope into the inside pocket of his blazer, to rest against his heart.

Coach Akagi was waiting near the customs line, making sure each swimmer was presentable before sending them through.  “It’ll be like a gauntlet out there,” he said as he waved Rin and Haru towards the line.

“Nn.”  Haru’s lips pursed.

They passed through customs, having their forms checked and cleared.  As they neared the exit, Rin could already hear the cheering and excited squeals.  It was after 10PM, but that hadn’t stopped a crowd from gathering to receive them home.

“Ready for this?” he asked, glancing at Haru.

“I guess.”

Rin caught Haru’s hand.  “How about now?”

Haru’s face lit with pleasure.  He smiled, Rin smiling back.

They walked out together. 

“Nanase-kun!”  “Matsuoka-kun!”

“Haru!!”  “Rin!”

They let go of their suitcases to wave, keeping hold of each other’s hands.  Rin grinned at the gathering of friends, family, and fans in the arrivals atrium.  The last time he’d been here was back in April, when all of his hopes and dreams were just that—still only hopes and dreams carried alongside the quiet ache in his heart they attempted to satisfy.  But now, with Haru’s hand in his and his father’s envelope tucked inside his blazer, Rin no longer felt like a part of him was missing.  For the first time, he was coming home whole.

 _Tadaima, Dad_.

In his heart, the memory was close at hand—of strong arms engulfing him and a broad, welcoming smile—

_Okaeri, Rin._


	40. The different lanes of future dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this is not one of the three final chapters, but I wanted to include it anyways.

* * *

Friday, August 19th, 2016

* * *

It was a muggy day in Tokyo, though a steady breeze softened the brunt of the stifling humidity.  The air-conditioning inside Tully’s Coffee shop wasn’t overly strong, but Rin still felt chilly.  It was nerves, the minutes ticking by, and his darkened phone screen on the table in front of him.  The glass wall of the shop looked out on a terrace with trees, benches, and decorative patio furniture, surrounded on all four sides by the towering brick and concrete edifices of the University of Tokyo Hospital.  Sousuke had been out of surgery for over an hour now.  Initial reports were that everything had gone well, according to the text Rin received from Sousuke’s mom.  She’d promised to let him know the _second_ they would allow non-family visitors, but that was two cups of tea ago and the dregs in Rin’s mug had been cold for some time.

“Rin.”  Haru’s knee bumped his under the table, drawing Rin’s attention—for the umpteenth time—to his bouncing leg.

Rin stilled himself with a sigh, leaning back to rub clammy hands against his jeans.  _I fucking hate hospitals._   Just being here was enough to tie his stomach into knots. 

Haru’s presence took the edge off, though.  Every time Rin got stuck in his head, in the what if’s and worrying as the moments slipped by, a subtle touch and that calm murmur of his name brought him back again.  Haru didn’t try to placate him with positive sentiments or distract him with small talk, he was just _there_ and Rin appreciated it more than he could put into words.

 _Not that I shouldn’t try…_   Rin rolled his shoulders to loosen his traps as he glanced over.  “Na, Haru—”

“Hm?”  Haru arched a brow behind his aviator sunglasses, lowering his cup of tea.

Rin blinked.  _You’re doing it again._   “I said the shades were _more_ conspicuous, not less.”  _We’re inside and it’s a cloudy day._

“I think it’s working,” Haru said, setting his cup on the table next to Rin’s.  He adjusted his shades, tugging briefly on the collar of his pale blue polo shirt.

Judging by the starry-eyed stares and murmurs aimed their way from a few tables over…  _It’s really not, Haru._   They’d picked a table in the corner, as tucked away as they could get in an attempt to avoid a repeat of the airport circus last night.  Curious looks aside, at least no one was bothering them or asking for pictures.

Rin’s sunglasses hung from the neck of his V-neck T-shirt, swaying as he hunched forward and rested his arms on the table.  Jetlag didn’t help the situation.  Midday in Tokyo was the middle of the night in Rio.  Rin felt every hour of the time difference in his bones.  He’d been dead to the world for a handful of hours after returning to his apartment, but snapped awake with the dawn as always.  He needed _sleep_ , he needed exercise, he needed—

The violent buzzing sound had him jumping in his chair, a spike of adrenaline wreaking havoc with his fragile nerves.  Rin sucked air, trying to slow his racing heart as he picked up his phone.

_[Sorry for the delay, Rin.  He’s awake and just got moved to a room on the 3 rd floor.  Here’s the number…]_

“We can go?” Haru asked.

Rin nodded, swallowing around the lump in his throat.  “Yeah.”

Haru didn’t say anything else, reaching beneath the table and giving his hand a quick squeeze.

Rin exhaled hard, capturing Haru’s fingers in a vice grip and not letting go.  Tokyo wasn’t Rio or Barcelona; he knew that as he felt the stares.  But Rin didn’t care.  Holding Haru’s hand grounded him.  People could say whatever the fuck they wanted.

Haru’s eyes softened behind his shades, full of love without reservation. 

Rin shoved his phone into his pocket as they got up.  After bussing their dishes, they headed across the terrace to the reception desk.

-x-

“ _Sumimasen_ , we’re here to visit Yamazaki Sousuke in room 3011.”

The nurse on station at the Ward A third floor did a double take, her eyes widening as she read their visitor badges.  She cleared her throat quickly and set a clipboard on the counter.  “Of course.  If you could please sign in.”

Rin and Haru wrote their names on the list, along with the current time.

The nurse checked their entries and came around the desk.  “This way.”

They followed her from the station, passing brightly lit work areas to a hallway with rooms on the right-hand side, each behind a wide, sliding door with a round viewing window.

Up ahead, a middle-aged couple exited one of the rooms.  Light rain jackets were draped over their arms; Sousuke’s father carried an umbrella.

“Rin.”  Sousuke’s mother smiled as she saw them approach. 

“ _Obasama_.”  Rin accepted a quick hug from her.  She was nearly as tall as him with short black hair and a trim, athletic build.  As a kid, he’d soaked up her stories whenever he’d stayed over, staring wide-eyed at the trophies from her college water-polo days. 

“The first thing he asked when he woke up was if you’d passed out, or if you were alright.”

“ _Nm_.”  Rin blushed.  “I’m fine.”

“So I told him.”  Mirth mixed with the fatigue in her pale green eyes.  “We’re stepping out for lunch, but we’ll be back to take him home.  They said he only has to stay a little bit longer.”

“We won’t wear him out.  We’ll let him rest.”

“He’ll be glad to see you.  You too, Nanase-kun.”

Haru dipped his head.

Sousuke’s parents left, Rin nodding to Sousuke’s father as they passed.

The nurse held the door for them.  There were four spots for names on the placard on the wall, but only Sousuke’s name was listed.  “Please check out at the nurses’ station when you’re done.”

“Thank you,” Rin said, steeling himself as he stepped into the room with Haru.  It was quiet, the beeping of monitors and staff’s conversations fading as the door soundlessly slid closed behind them.

There were four hospital beds, two on each side, partitioned off by pale pink privacy curtains that hung from tracks on the ceiling.  The equipment was all tucked away into walnut cabinets while a large picture window let in daylight next to another sliding door for the restroom.  The privacy curtains were pushed back except for the second bed on the left side of the room.

“I’ll wait here,” Haru murmured, staying near the door.

“Thanks.”  Rin drew a breath.  _I can do this_.  He knew what he wasn’t going to find on the other side of the curtain, but the thought came to him regardless—of the child he’d seen in the mirror in those days, with the vacant stare, dark circles under dull eyes, and the IV in his arm.  The IV’s incessant dripping and the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor was indelibly mixed in his memories with his mother’s hysterical crying as she sat next to his bedside with the phone clutched to her ear, its spiral cord shaking with each sob.  He hated himself for causing her more pain after everything she’d already lost.  He’d tried to be so strong for his family, but that was when he broke under the weight of things he couldn’t carry.  Those days blurred together, mostly he remembered staring at the ceiling and trying not to throw up in between the rounds of sedation that allowed him to sleep.

Things got better when his mom’s parents, Rin’s grandparents, came to take them home.  Grandma and Grandpa stayed for a whole month, helping with meals, helping Rin’s mom, taking Rin and Gou to school.  His first day back at swim practice, with his grandpa instead of his dad in the stands watching, Rin felt something move in his heart.  That night, the tears finally came—angry and ceaseless—as he whispered every bad word he’d ever heard into his pillow, railing against the God who took his dad away.

 _This isn’t anything like that._   Sousuke was here to get better—to _mend_ , to gain back the broken parts.  It wasn’t the same thing at all. 

Slightly calmer, Rin exhaled and rounded the curtain.

Sousuke filled the tiny hospital bed, its width matching the breadth of his shoulders.  His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling as he breathed, the floral-patterned blanket up to his waist.  He wore a hospital gown, his right shoulder wrapped with bulky dressings where the gown had been folded away.  Sousuke’s right arm was immobilized in a black sling.  A Todai hoodie and a few other personal effects were on top of a cabinet nearby.

Rin’s eyes pricked with tears, whether it was worry, relief, or the fatigue, he didn’t know—probably all three.  His vision blurred, the droplets sliding down his cheeks as his halting steps brought him to Sousuke’s left side.

“You’re crying already,” Sousuke murmured, opening his eyes.

Rin dropped into the bedside chair, reaching for his best friend’s hand.  “Shut up,” he muttered, hastily shoving away the tears.

Sousuke smiled, squeezing Rin’s hand.  “I’m fine, Rin.”

 _I know._   Rin choked back a sob, nodding.

“The anesthesia hasn’t fully worn off yet, so actually I feel amazing.  Hungry, though.”  Sousuke’s legs shifted beneath the blanket as he stretched a little.  “Rin, would you mind…?”

Rin followed his gaze to the tray beside the bed; on top was a plastic cup with a straw. 

Sousuke freed his hand for the bed controls, the motor whirring softly as he adjusted the upper half of the bed until he was reclining rather than lying down.

Rin retrieved the cup.  “Room temperature coke?”

“Jealous?”

Rin chortled despite himself, grabbing a tissue to dry his face while Sousuke drank.  “Your uh, your mom said it all went well.”

“Yeah.”  Sousuke passed the cup back, Rin returning it to the tray.  “The surgeon said it wasn’t as bad as they’d feared when they got in there.  I’m all patched up.  Now it’s checkups twice a week for a month, and regular PT for three to five months after that.”

Rin sobered, pressing his lips.  “But when you’re done…”

Sousuke met his gaze, his green eyes gentle.  “I only want to do this once, Rin.”

“ _But_ —”

Sousuke shook his head.  “I did a lot of thinking while you were gone.  I admit it wasn’t easy, letting go of that dream.  But some dreams just aren’t possible, no matter how hard you try.  And that’s _OK_.  Because there are other dreams out there.”

Rin swallowed with effort, feeling the truth of his best friend’s words deep in his heart—as weighty as the papers with his dad’s JOC times.  _Sousuke…_

“Being there with you in Rio, watching you compete, watching you sob on the podium—”

“Hey…”  Heat rose in Rin’s cheeks.

Sousuke’s eyes warmed with amusement and fondness.  “It was everything I wanted, Rin.  I got to see what it would be like and that gave me the peace I needed to move on.”

The tears welled up again.  Rin blinked against them, but the battle was useless.

“I’m excited about my new dream.  I’m gonna help a lot of athletes reach _their_ dreams.  I’ll finally get to give back.”

“Sousuke, _damnit_.”  He sniffed hard, the new tears sheeting down his cheeks.

Sousuke took his hand, squeezing again.  “So don’t fuck up and wind up in my office someday, alright?”

“I won’t.”  Rin gripped his best friend’s hand, sealing his words.  “I promise.”

Sousuke smiled.  “Where’s your husband?”

“ _Oi_ …”  Rin wiped his face. 

Quiet footfalls brought Haru from the door and around the curtain to Rin’s side.

Sousuke offered up Rin’s hand.  Haru took it, his familiar grasp cradling Rin’s hand, their fingers weaving together.

“Thanks for taking care of him, Na—” Sousuke stopped himself, a soft exhale falling from his lips to accompany his smile.  “Haruka.”

Haru dipped his head in a nod.  “Feel better soon, Sousuke.”

The door slid open then, followed by a barrage of footsteps—

“Sousuke!”  Takara bounded into the room with a flurry of colorful balloons tied to a stuffed whale shark.  Kawamura was with her.

Haru tugged on Rin’s hand, the two of them making a quick escape as Takara rounded the bed to greet Sousuke the way she usually did—which he wasn’t turning down—while Kawamura settled into a vacant chair, waving as they left.

Out in the hallway, Rin shoved his tear-soaked tissue into the pocket of his jeans and grabbed his sunglasses to cover the redness in his face.  He sighed, draping an arm around Haru’s shoulders and leaning against the one he loved.

Haru smiled with his eyes.  He slipped on matching shades and covered Rin’s hand with his own as they headed back to the nurses’ station.

-x-

Rin needed to swim after that—3500 meters in the Koutei pool with Haru—followed by ninety minutes in the gym.  They picked up takeout from one of their usual places and ate at Haru’s apartment, watching the live streams of the Friday morning events in Rio.  Rin’s brain was shot, his heart drained from the day.  But being with Haru was quiet and easy.  Rin didn’t have to fight, didn’t have to pretend; he could just _be_.  He lasted until 8PM before the fatigue dropped him.  Haru didn’t need any coaxing for a shower or a lukewarm bath (with the tub only partially full).

After toweling off, they climbed into Haru’s bed and curled up.  Rin snuggled into his sort-of husband’s warmth, drifting off peacefully and immediately with Haru’s arm tucked snug around his torso and Haru’s gentle, rhythmic breaths stirring his hair. 

* * *

Saturday, August 20th, 2016

* * *

Delicious smells filled the room, Rin’s mouth watering before he ever got his eyes open.  _Miso_ and…chicken?  He sat up, pushing the covers back on Haru’s bed.  Haru was across the room by the stove, wearing his blue apron over his Málaga boardshorts as he cooked.  Rin searched the floor briefly for his underwear before remembering they were probably still in the bathroom from last night.  He grabbed the nearest pair of pants—which happened to be Haru’s gray sweatpants, draped over the foot of the bed—and shimmied them on before rounding the _kotatsu_ for the kitchen.

“ _Ohayo_ ,” he murmured, stifling a yawn as he came to Haru’s side and peered into the skillet.  Sure enough, Haru was making _miso_ -glazed chicken.  The rice cooker was almost done and there was a greens and seaweed salad in a glass bowl on the counter.

Haru tugged an earbud out of his ear, letting it dangle by the cord as Rin leaned a hip against the sink and smiled slyly. 

“Is it my birthday?”

Haru’s cheeks turned pink.  “It was on sale,” he murmured, using his spatula to flip the chicken breasts in the pan.

Rin waited, watching Haru cook until he turned off the stove and transferred the chicken to two plates—

That was when Rin pounced, enfolding Haru in a hug and claiming Haru’s lips for a kiss.

Haru made a startled noise at first, but it turned into a hum, Haru leaning in, kissing him back…

Rin melted at the love in blue eyes as they parted.  He was contemplating doing it all again when the rice cooker chirped.  _Damnit._   Rin got out the bowls instead, popping the rice cooker open and mounding hot, fluffy rice into two blue and white bowls.  “What’re you listening to?”

Haru pressed his lips, looking sheepish as he offered the dangling earbud.

Rin slipped it into his ear, hearing a woman’s soothing voice in French, followed by a different voice speaking a phrase in Japanese.  He grinned.  “We’re not leaving for Paris until Wednesday.”

Haru’s blush deepened.  “French is hard.”

_You are so fucking adorable._

They carried breakfast to the _kotatsu_ , watching Track & Field replays as they ate, including their Japanese teammates’ silver medal race in the men’s 4x100m relay.

Just the right amount of full afterwards, Rin rolled onto his back on the floor.  “ _Gochisousa_ ,” he murmured, sighing his contentment.  Haru’s _miso_ -glazed anything was to die for.

“What’re you gonna do today?” Haru asked.

“Laundry, sort mail, start packing…”

With a glass of decaf green tea halfway to his lips, Haru paused, arching a brow.  “We don’t leave until _Wednesday_ , Rin.”

“Shut up.”  Rin mock-glared at his lover.  “I’m packing for three different climates.”

Haru smiled with his eyes, sipping his tea.

“You’ll probably just repack the same stuff.”

Setting his glass on the table, Haru shrugged.  “I’ll pack what I feel like taking.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  _Of course you will_.  He grinned.

After doing the dishes and stowing the leftovers, Rin finally got dressed and retrieved his gear bag.  Now that he was mostly awake and semi-functional, he needed to get this day going.

Haru, still in the apron and Málaga boardshorts, saw him to the door.

“I’ll visit Sousuke at some point,” Rin said, slipping on his shoes.  “But, uh…”  He rubbed the back of his neck.  “Wanna come over later?  Not sure I feel up to cooking anything fancy, but…”

“Anything’s fine.  We can do takeout again.”  Haru smiled.  “Let me know when.”

“Mm.”  Rin nodded, draping his arms over Haru’s shoulders.  Their kiss lingered sweetly against his lips.  “ _Je t’aime_ , Haru.”

Haru’s eyes warmed.  “ _Je t'aime plus que toute l'eau du monde_ , Rin.”

 _You’ve been playing with Internet translators again_ …  “What’s that mean?” Rin asked.

Affection sparkled in Haru’s gaze.  “I’ll text you.  Look it up when you get home.”

“Nn…  OK.”  One last kiss and Rin waved as he headed out the door.

Rain was just starting to fall as Rin got down to the sidewalk.  He paused to pull his baseball cap from his gear bag, securing it on his head before venturing out into the cool drizzle. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket when he was halfway down the block.  Rin ducked under the awning of a flower shop, reading the text.  _Je t’aime_ he obviously knew, but…  He copied the phrase over to his browser and hit _translate._

_[I love you more than all the water in the world.]_

Rin’s breath caught, his insides turning to mush, a hot lump forming in his throat.  He whirled, clutching his phone as he sprinted back the way he came, dodging umbrellas and bicyclists.  He took the stairs two at a time, all three flights, and burst through the door of Haru’s apartment. 

The door slammed closed in his wake, Haru blinking at him startled, a full laundry basket in hand.

Rin kicked off his shoes and dove, the flying tackle sending them to the floor, his hat and gear bag and Haru’s laundry sailing every which way.

Rin sobbed on top of Haru, his tears splashing Haru’s face and throat.  “Haru, you…”  There were no words—no words at all for a love like this.

Haru’s face softened.  His smile was like _sakura_ petals in the blush of sunrise as he reached up, brushing the tears from Rin’s cheeks, threading his fingers into Rin’s hair.  “ _Rin_ …”

Their lips met, one long kiss yielding countless others, and no one got any laundry done that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [@QueenPotatos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPotatos) for the French help!!
> 
> Time skips ahead...


	41. Swim toward the hope, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *coughs* This chapter is a bit more M than previous ones... *sweatdrop* (runs away)  
> If that's not your thing, please hop over to the [Teen version on ffnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/41/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams) (plenty of RH fluff, less errr distractions)
> 
> Also, just ignore that little uptick in the chapter count *dies*

* * *

Monday, November 14th, 2016

* * *

There were dozens of gleaming rings in the brightly-lit case under Rin’s scrutiny—yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, platinum…with diamonds or without…with bevels and patterned edges both subtle and elaborate.  Each ring was displayed on a clear stand, tilted to catch the light just so.  They were arranged individually or in pairs—usually a thicker band adjacent a slimmer one with more bling—but this was the first store where he’d seen matching or coordinating rings for men shown as a set.  It made him linger, even though the rings themselves didn’t pull on him like he wanted them to.  He wanted to be grabbed, blown away by the ring he’d use to ask Haru to marry him (officially), but thus far, despite all the glitter and sparkle, nothing seemed to _shine_.

“So…”  The voice came from behind him.  “Earrings for Gou, huh?”

Rin swallowed a yelp, glaring over his shoulder.  “Don’t fucking sneak up on me,” he whispered, mindful of the staff and other cliental in the high-end store.  He and Sousuke were the only teenagers in the shop—scratch that.  _He_ was the only teenager since Sousuke was already twenty.  _Damnit_.  So far, Rin had managed to escape all but the usual attention in double-takes and quiet murmurs and he wanted to keep it that way. 

Sousuke smiled mildly, though his eyes danced with amusement.  “I was gonna say, Rin.  I’ve never seen your sister wear jewelry.  Does she even have pierced ears?”

“Not that I know of,” he muttered, turning back to the case.  “Unless Hanamura talked her into it recently.”  Gou would probably say earrings were a liability in sports, anyway.  _Pretty lame excuse, Matsuoka_.

Sousuke came even with him, leaning over the jewelry case.  He whistled low, under his breath.  “That’s a lot of digits.”

“I know.”  Six months ago, Rin would’ve never considered paying five to six figures (in yen) for such a small bit of precious metal.  Hell, even now it seemed ridiculous considering the rows of medals hanging on the wall in the apartment he shared with Haru—not just from Rio but from their competitions before and after as well.  Rin clucked his tongue as he straightened.  “I don’t like any of these, anyway.  We can go.”

“You’re sure, Rin?”

“Yeah.”

They left the shop, stepping out onto _Inokashira Dori_ in the heart of Shibuya.  Rin immediately donned his shades under his baseball cap and slipped his hands into the pockets of his green military jacket.  It was a temperate, overcast afternoon with low clouds and the imminent threat of rain. 

Sousuke fell in beside him, his right hand tucked into the pocket of his blue and gold Todai jacket; from his left hand dangled a shopping bag from Loft.  There was a tea set inside, wrapped in Christmas paper, though Sousuke hadn’t said who the gift was for.

Rin hadn’t pressed when Sousuke talked around his question.  He had his theories though—Kawamura spent a lot of time with Sousuke in the weeks after his surgery, ostensibly preparing for his own future procedure, though Rin wasn’t entirely convinced.  Then again, Takara hadn’t complained once (even drunk) about leaving the two of them alone back in Tokyo while she World-Cup-hopped with Rin and Haru, first to Paris-Berlin-Moscow, then to Beijing-Dubai-Doha.  They’d been home in the middle of the Singapore-Tokyo-Hong Kong leg and now they were days away from the Asian Swimming Championships.  Water Polo kicked off today; swimming, diving, and synchro started on Thursday the 17th, which also happened to be Makoto’s birthday.  In any case, with Takara in a continually good mood, the tea set recipient was really anyone’s guess.  _Watch him send it to his mother, Matsuoka._

“You’re finally gonna do it?” Sousuke asked as they strolled towards Shibuya station.  “In Sydney?”

“Not if I can’t find a ring.”  Time was running out with the competition this week, their _Water is Life_ endless relay event next weekend, and the FINA Short Course championships in Windsor, Canada, for the first week and a half of December.  Add in course work—Coach Fujino was quite fond of papers and practical exercises, it turned out—their brutal training schedule, and political meetings and appearances arranged for them by Saeki…  Rin could count his free-time by the hour from now until they left for Sydney on December 22 nd. 

“You’ve got something specific in mind?”

“Nah.”  Rin kicked a ridge in the concrete sidewalk.  “I don’t know, just…”  There was so much he wanted the ring to _be_.  He would only get one shot at proposing (Haru would let him have a do-over, but there was no way Rin would be satisfied with that) and he wanted the symbol of their love to be something Haru would wear proudly and treasure forever, even more than the shark and dolphin shell bracelets Rin bought on the beach in Canet-en-Roussillon.  “I thought I’d know when I saw it, but, so far…”  He sighed.

Sousuke hummed, Rin lifting his gaze to his best friend’s smile.  “As if an ordinary ring would ever be good enough, Rin.”

“ _Tch_.  I’d get it engraved or something.”

“What if you designed it?”

Rin frowned.  “Haru’s the artist, not me.”  _I can’t draw to save my life._

“That’s true…”

The thoughtful, leading statement made Rin stop.  He looked up at his best friend through his shades, cocking a brow.  “What are you suggesting?”

“I’m just saying you know people who make stuff.”  Sousuke nodded over Rin’s head.

Rin turned, blushing as he followed Sousuke’s gaze to Haseda’s latest masterpiece gracing the Shibuya skyline.  In the picture, he and Haru were face-to-face, wet from the pool, with their swim caps and goggles touching as they leaned their foreheads together.  Rin’s right hand cupped the edge of Haru’s jaw, both of them appearing breathless as if from a hard race, while Haru’s fingers lay along his forearm.  They wore matching jammers, black with the _Water is Life_ logo that Tsuchiya’s team had designed in opalescent pastels along their thighs.  Text in Japanese and English advertised the event, scheduled to start at noon on November 26 th. 

The same poster was hanging in their bedroom, next to the Málaga sunset picture.

Rin rolled his lips between his teeth.  “Alright, you have a point.”

Sousuke jabbed him lightly in the shoulder.  “Come on.  We gotta make the next train or I’ll be late for PT.”

“Right.”  Rin picked up the pace, the two of them joining the bustling crowd at the massive intersection in front of Shibuya station.

-x-

From Hakusan Station, Rin headed north and then east, crossing two major streets in the heart of Bunkyō, high rises and dormitories giving way to a mixed urban-residential area with apartment buildings, small shops, shrines, and houses.  It was just over half a kilometer between the station and the apartment he shared with Haru; Rin had it down to a science now.  He could make the round trip there and back to the Koutei campus in less than fifteen minutes.  The noise of the busy thoroughfares faded as he passed the market and the sushi shop they frequented, turning off to one of the few tall buildings—the apartment gray brick and black, its entrance flanked by a pair of trees robed in autumn’s gold. 

Rin headed in through the lobby, grabbing the mail on his way up and bypassing the elevator for the stairs.  He jogged up five flights, exiting into a quiet, white hallway.  On the west side of the building, Rin unlocked the door to apartment 501 and went inside. 

“ _Tadaima_ ,” he murmured, even though he knew Haru was in class (art majors had such weird class hours).  Rin slipped off his shoes and flicked on the lights.

Home greeted him and it always made him smile, even though there were a couple of boxes yet to be unpacked and a pile of mail on the table that never seemed to diminish.  The bedroom Haru used for his studio was just off the entryway to the right with the door firmly closed (Haru liked his workspace to be _free_ and it was the one room that stressed Rin out to no end, so keeping the door closed was the easiest solution), the powder room was on the left, and the main LDK space was beyond.  Daylight filtered in through gauzy curtains on the north side of the room, next to the kitchen—with oven—while a _tatami_ alcove faced west with sliding glass doors leading out to the balcony.  The dining room table doubled as their desk; Haru’s laptop was closed next to his English textbook and a stack of brochures for graduate programs in water and environmental engineering from Todai, Waseda, and USC.  Rin’s notebooks and textbooks were on the opposite side of the table.  He did a two-second triage on the incoming mail before adding pieces to the important pile, the semi-important pile, and the immediately-recycle-pile.  They ate their meals at the _kotatsu_ in the _tatami_ alcove instead, with comfortable cushions set on the floor for seating.  Their medals dangled from colorful lanyards on the wall in the day-lit alcove, next to Haru’s painting of Bondi Beach. 

A reminder on Rin’s phone beeped as he headed up the narrow staircase next to the entrance, passing their Málaga posters (except for the sunset one) as he went.  The main bathroom was up here, Rin ducking into the _ofuro_ room to grab his drying square legs from the rack before proceeding into the bedroom.  The comforter on the low, queen-sized bed was white with a subtle _sakura_ pattern; the bed itself set under the window on the north wall, flanked by small nightstands.  Rin’s picture with his dad was on his nightstand; Haru’s had a framed photo of them with the kids at the pool in Rocinha.  Glass doors on the west side of the room led to a smaller balcony that looked out over the shops and buildings towards Koutei University.

Rin changed quickly, shimmying into his red and black square legs and donning his navy blue Koutei jacket and pants over top.  It was always fifty-fifty whether he grabbed his warmup set or Haru’s.  Not that it mattered—they wore the same size, though Haru’s were slightly more inundated with the scent of chlorine.  Rin stuffed his clothes into the laundry basket, catching a glimpse of the sunset poster behind the door as he left the room (located strategically for those times guests stopped by and wanted ‘the tour’).

Retrieving his gear bag from the first floor, he was out the door on schedule, purposely not dwelling on the two boxes tucked under the stairs that still needed to be unpacked.  They’d moved in the last week of September, days before leaving for Beijing, and Rin made it his mission to have them unboxed and fully situated during their week home mid-October.  His nightly unpacking and organizing sessions lasted until day three—a rainy October 13th.  He was done with his stuff, but Haru had to open each box and _decide_ where he wanted things.  Rin should’ve known better—he did know better—but in the moment he was more motivated than considerate and wasn’t a little help and prodding good for Haru anyway?  He could laugh it off now, recounting the story with their friends.  At the time however…

_“Haru, do you want this in the closet upstairs or down here?”_

_“I don’t know yet.”_

_“OK.  This jacket, though.  You’re not gonna wear it in the house, so I’ll put it in the entryway closet.”_

_“Rin…”_

_“This whole box is photo albums.  The best place would be the shelves in the tatami room, so I’ll just—”_

_“—Rin!”  Haru lunged up from the floor, pulling the box from his hands.  “I said let me do it.”_

_“What?  I was trying to—”_

_“You’re not helping.”_

_Rin snorted.  “If I don’t help, it’s gonna be a year before you’re done.”_

_“So what?”  Haru put the box firmly on the floor.  “Why are you acting like it’s the end of the world if we’re not unpacked before we leave?  We’re only going to Singapore for five days.”_

_“Tch.  I am not!”_

_“You are!”_

_“I’m not!  I just wanna be moved in together!”_

_“We are moved in together!  Why isn’t that enough?”_

_They glared at each other, the heated words piling up in Rin’s throat, but at least he kept himself from firing back.  The bite in Haru’s question cut deep; Rin knew he’d pushed too hard, too far.  Because it was enough—every moment they had together was enough._

_“Sorry,” Rin murmured, getting the meager apology out despite the tautness of his jaw._

_Haru’s lips pursed.  “I’m done with this tonight.”  He got up from his scatter of boxes and went upstairs._

_Rin went to the balcony off the tatami room, leaning against the rain-slick rail as Haru ran water in the bath upstairs.  The night was cool, the skyline of Bunkyō shrouded in low clouds and the forecasted drizzle.  A fine mist of raindrops soon clung to Rin’s skin and T-shirt, but he didn’t care.  The tension in his body slowly subsided, the angry words and his insistence on having things his way unraveling inside him.  It was a stupid fight over nothing.  It wasn’t their first and it wouldn’t be their last._

_They were jetlagged and tired.  Being home was a relief, especially after a week in Dubai and Doha.  The swimming had been fine, the cities were gorgeous, and they met wonderful people…but it wasn’t just the heat that was stifling.  Every time he wanted to tackle Haru but couldn’t, every time they reached for each other, only to catch themselves and stop…  Sure, PDA wasn’t a thing there in general, but as often as they denied themselves in public and consoled each other in private, it was a reminder that they were in a place where their love was illegal.  Rin had never been happier—after boarding their plane to come home—to finally drape his arm around Haru’s shoulders and leave it there as a silent middle finger to those laws._

_He was still recovering from the stress, overdoing it in his usual way.  Rin ducked his head, sighing.  Their life together was so much more than unpacked boxes between World Cup legs._

_He didn’t know how much time passed between that moment and when the door slid open behind him, followed by bare feet on the tile.  Arms wound around Rin’s waist, Haru’s damp hair pressed to his shoulder._

_“Sorry, Rin.”_

_He turned, not surprised to find Haru dressed in his square legs only, and drew Haru in for a tight hug.  “Me too.”_

_Haru exhaled against his neck, squeezing him back just as tightly._

_It was a long time before either of them spoke, though Rin figured they should go back inside before Haru caught cold out here._

_Haru drew back first.  “I’ll try to—”_

_“Nah, it’s OK.”  He threaded hands into Haru’s hair.  “Take your time, Haru.”_

_Haru’s lips pursed, his gaze searching Rin’s face.  “If I put the boxes in my studio, at least—”_

_“Only if you want to,” Rin said, settling his arms around Haru’s bare shoulders._

_Haru’s eyes softened.  “You can help me with that part.”_

_“Tomorrow,” Rin murmured, unwilling to let go.  “Love you.”_

_“Love_ you _.”  Haru’s smile bathed Rin in sweetness.  They made up with a gentle press of lips, followed by a second kiss and a third, until Haru shivered and snuggled in closer.  “It’s cold out here.”_

_Rin nudged Haru towards the door, smiling.  “Let’s get you warmed up.”_

_“The fun way?”_

_“Mm.”  Rin laced their fingers together as they sidestepped the boxes in the main room, headed for the stairs.  “Do you want the bath or the bed?”_

_“Either, so long as we’re naked.”_

_“Kind of the point, Haru.”_

…A month later only those two boxes were left and Rin wasn’t about to complain.  He crossed _Hongo Dori_ , waited at the light, and then joined the mob of students going to and from the Koutei campus.  Rin waved when greeted, keeping a brisk pace to the Sports Complex and through the interior hallways to the locker room.

“Hey, Coach Matsuoka!”

Rin gave the two fifteen-year-olds a (mild) stern look.  “You boys should be warming up.”

“We are.”  The taller of the two grinned, while his peer wrestled a swim cap over unruly brown hair.

“We’re going, Coach!”  They dashed away towards the Koutei pool in their navy blue and white square legs.

“See you out there.”  Rin continued to his locker.  His red combination lock hung next to Haru’s blue one.  In a couple of hours, Haru would be here, coming straight from class and his time in the art studio.  That was when Maekawa would try to murder them with one of her infamous taper workouts.  For now, though…

Rin stripped down to his square legs, grabbing his goggles and swim cap.  He took off his bracelet, running his thumb over the little shark and dolphin woven into the leather.  It was still holding up well, but he was impatient to get that ring—something a little more permanent, a little more official—on Haru’s finger.  (Even though they couldn’t swim with rings on, either.)  Lastly, he got out his whistle, a clipboard with an attached pen, and a bright red whiteboard marker.

The pool deck was warm, Rin drawing a full breath of the chlorinated air Haru loved so much, letting it permeate and sharpen his senses as he took in the twenty or so high schoolers who were going about their warm up routines (or goofing off) in and around the 25m, six-lane pool.  Even under gray skies, the water shimmered in the light from the glass wall that swept up to meet the roof.  Rin cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the kids who were running around instead of getting into their lanes.  That alone sent the boys and girls scurrying to the pool with guilty grins and muffled giggles, which was way too satisfying to be good for him.  Once he determined the kids were actually _doing_ their warm ups, not pulling on the lane lines or trying to surf on their kickboards, Rin headed for the whiteboard. 

“Good afternoon, Coach Anzai.”  Rin bowed low.

“Assistant Coach Matsuoka, good afternoon.”  Anzai smiled as he turned from the board, adjusting his glasses.  The mid-thirties instructor in navy blue and white warmups was coach for Koutei High School’s swim team, which used the University pool.  He was also 100% in charge of Rin’s practical grade this semester.  “I hope you’re ready.  The first years seem particularly…energetic today.”

 _Born ready_.  Rin grinned, uncapping his red marker.  “I’m ready, Coach.”

-x-

Two hours later, Rin’s nine high school first years were sprawled dramatically on the pool deck across towels, pool buoys, and kickboards.

“I want doughnuts.”  “Coach Matsuoka’s so evil.”  “I’m telling my mom you yelled at us for breathing.”

Rin folded his arms across his chest, his goggles dangling from his wrist.  “I’m evil, huh?  But who swam breathless twenty-fives today?”

All nine kids raised their hands…sort of.  Some of them just flopped limbs into the air.

“And who begged me at the start of the semester, ‘Coach Matsuoka, teach me to swim breathless like you do?’”

The same kids limply lifted their hands.

Rin loosened his arms, crouching down to their level.  “I said you could do it, didn’t I?  With a little hard work.”  He smiled.  “I’m proud of you.”

Nine pairs of eyes widened, several of the kids blushing as Rin watched the realization come over their faces.  The satisfaction was a wave swelling in his chest that never seemed to diminish.  He couldn’t get enough of watching these kids set goals, meet and surpass them.  Every session, he put to use what he was learning alongside Makoto in Coach Fujino’s lectures and it was more rewarding than he ever could have imagined.

“Alright.”  Rin straightened, raising his whistle.  “Off to the showers and get something to eat.  Lean protein, plenty of vegetables.  Not _doughnuts._ ”

“Awww.”

The kids hastened to their feet, bowing as he bowed back.  “Thank you, Coach Matsuoka.”

“Dismissed.”  At his whistle, the kids grabbed their towels and sprinted for the locker rooms. 

Rin fought an eyeroll.  _If you still have that much energy, I’m gonna change the set next time._

He spent a few minutes comparing notes with Coach Anzai and getting his debrief for the session, then it was back to the locker room to stash his coaching materials.  Even with Anzai’s critique—the guy always had good, supportive feedback—Rin felt buoyant and charged up.  Sure, sometimes fights broke out amongst the high schoolers and there was the occasional kid who tried to flirt with him, but he knew he’d found his post-Olympics calling.  He hadn’t told Haru yet, but more and more his new dream was taking shape in his mind—of moving home when they retired, coaching the local high school kids at Iwatobi or Samezuka or somewhere nearby while raising his family with Haru…  There were still legal battles to fight in that regard, but Rin had all the hope in the world. 

He rounded the last set of lockers in time to watch Haru strip off his Koutei warmups, revealing a skimpy speedo underneath in navy blue, royal blue, and white.  Rin slowed his approach, eyeing and appreciating the suit.  “That’s new.”

“I can’t wear the other one anymore,” Haru said, glancing at him aside with a look that made Rin blush.

 _Yeah, my teeth are sharp.  You weren’t complaining any of those times._ He was guilty and unrepentant.  “Should I be more careful with those?” 

“I bought extra.”

That little remark invoked a rush of heat that had Rin faking a cough.  Good thing he had time for a shower before practice—a nice cold shower…  “Shaving down tonight, huh?”  He couldn’t fault Haru’s logic one bit.  Forty-eight hours was the new ‘rule’ they’d settled on after rather varied results during the World Cup (which had been as much due to their lack of restraint—hell, they hadn’t even _attempted_ restraint—as to after parties with their teammates).  Tsuchiya hadn’t said a word, but then she didn’t have to.  Their most recent meeting with her at her Tokyo office, she’d had the sheet with their World Cup times on the desk.  She never once referred to it; the printed page just sat there _the whole time_ while Rin tried not to squirm in his chair.

“You know why.”  Haru’s eyes warmed with amusement.  “Think we can make it?” he asked, reaching out and laying a hand on Rin’s bare waist.

Rin batted the hand away, having enough to deal with already.  “Not if you do stuff like that,” he muttered.  “I actually don’t know.”  Tuesday to Sunday…they hadn’t gone a stretch that long since Rio.  Their normal training regimen kept them pretty exhausted, but taper…  Taper was a glorious reprieve and he liked nothing better than spending his excess energy between the sheets with Haru.  The one major barrier, or proponent of the rule, was the fact that they’d be at the NTC from Tuesday night with the rest of Team Japan.  “We’d have to be creative.”

The blue of Haru’s eyes glittered.  “I’m feeling pretty creative, Rin.”  Haru came close, toying with the swim cap that was tucked into the waist band of Rin’s square legs. 

“Siren.”  Rin twisted, nudging Haru with a knee until they were up against the lockers.

Haru cocked a brow, offering one of Rin’s favorite faux-innocent expressions.  “Hm?  I’m just flirting with my sort-of husband.”

 _Never, ever stop_.  They kissed in the shadow of Haru’s open locker door, their row fortunately empty.

-x-

Coaches Maekawa and Akagi teamed up to do their worst with descending 500’s and breathless 50’s.  In a 25m pool, breathless 50’s were a breeze with thirty meters underwater rather than just fifteen.  Starting tomorrow at the NTC, they’d be working on 50’s in the 50m pool and Rin was eager for it.  His anxiety over the race had vanished since they returned from Rio, like a switch flicked off, ever since he held the papers with his father’s times in his hand.

The sun set during their practice, a few breaks in the clouds painting the pool with rosy hues as they left.  After showering and dressing, they were on their way home with protein shakes, holding hands through the misty night with the city aglow around them.  Despite the workout, Rin wasn’t that tired.  The soft pleasure in Haru’s eyes was invigorating, making his heartrate pick up and a sweet thrill run through him.  Coming home with Haru was always his favorite part of the day, whether he was in a chatty mood or felt like being quiet, as they eased from the busyness of their schedules to the time that was just _theirs_.

They toed off their shoes in the entryway and dropped off their gear bags, heading upstairs.  Rin changed in their bedroom while Haru set things up in the bathroom.  Donning the tight black speedo was already a bit uncomfortable, his body warm with the anticipation of getting to touch the one he loved, even if they were supposed to merely help each other shave down.  Rin put his hair up and joined Haru in the bathroom.

It wasn’t a huge space and this was going to be their inaugural time doing the full routine in their new apartment.  Haru had towels down on the tile floor, next to the sink and in front of the _ofuro_ with their shaving kit close at hand, while the scrubs and shaving gel were perched on the edge of the tub next to Haru’s dolphin ornament.  The two wooden stools they used for washing were pushed to the side for now and Haru had already filled a small vat with lukewarm water for later.

It was…tempting just to push Haru down onto the towels right now, especially with blue eyes roving him with obvious appreciation and the way Haru shifted his legs as he leaned back against the edge of the tub.  Somewhere in the midst of Paris, Berlin, and Moscow, it became a competition, who would break decorum first and turn this innocent (hah) activity into sex.  Rin might’ve been starting with more of a deficit than Haru— _slightly_ more, he noted, running his gaze down Haru’s body—but he wasn’t willing to concede anything yet.

He settled down on the towels, giving his lover a sly look as he reached for the electric razor.

…It all went fine until they added water.  Haru had bought a new bottle of the pineapple-scented scrub and Rin was halfway through lathering it across Haru’s abs and chest.  They were both dripping wet, the dangling showerhead within reach for when they wanted to rinse off…eventually.  Haru was returning the favor with slow, massaging strokes that made Rin question his lucidity.  He had Haru up on the edge of the _ofuro_ ; Rin was kneeling on one of the wooden stools…it seemed like a good solution at the time for the cramped confines of the room, to avoid soaking the towels as they washed.  But the more Haru’s thighs trapped his hips, the more heat pooled in Rin’s body, their breaths thickening as they touched each other, chests starting to heave, both of them straining at their suits—

“Fuck,” Rin muttered, reaching down to re-situate himself in a vain attempt to relieve some of the discomfort. 

Haru’s thighs closed tighter.  “ _Rin_ …”  His name was chased with a soft groan, Rin watching without breathing as Haru’s palm grazed across blue and white fabric.  He wanted to replace that hand with his own, to drag the suit off Haru with his teeth—

 _Fuck it_.  Rin grabbed the showerhead, shoving it into Haru’s hand as he wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist.  They _almost_ fell backward into the tub, but Haru managed to keep them upright.  Rin was too busy working his mouth along the edge of Haru’s jaw to care, only to groan as Haru pulled him in, their hips finally flush with their stupid suits in the way.  Haru shuddering in Rin’s arms only added to his fever, that and the sight of Haru’s head tipped back with damp black hair swept across his brow…and the rough breaths vibrating through the column of Haru’s throat against Rin’s lips.  Warm water cascaded across their shoulders as Rin shifted closer for a kiss, their tongues pushing eagerly against each other for as long as Rin could stand it before he needed air.

As they broke apart, he nudged the wooden stool away, sinking onto his knees on the wet tile as he leaned in to nip at Haru’s abs with his teeth.  Haru still had the water, his free hand gripping Rin’s shoulder while the muscles in his stomach twitched and tensed under Rin’s attention. 

Rin slid lower, running his lips across his goal through thin fabric stretched taut.

“ _Rin—_ ”  Haru shook, gasping, his fingers digging into Rin’s traps.

Rin was too impatient to tease much.  He sat back on his ankles, sinking his teeth into the waistband and loosening the suit from Haru’s skin with his fingers.  Haru lifted his hips to assist, letting Rin strip the garment down to his ankles and off. 

Rin returned, burying himself in Haru’s lap with his arms locked around his lover’s hips.  The showerhead clattered into the tub, forgotten, as Haru clung to him, a half-curse mumbled between groans.  Haru tasted like salt and chlorine, their lovemaking scented pineapple from the scrub that still coated their skin, half-rinsed off. 

He loved bringing Haru pleasure like this.  Rin never got tired of feeling Haru’s control and restraint slip away, as he melted beneath Rin’s mouth and tongue, letting himself enjoy what Rin was doing.  Knowing that he was the only one who got to see Haru like this, to see him be a little selfish with more than just water…it never failed to add fire to Rin’s veins, making his suit even more unbearable. 

Rin had no intention of stopping unless Haru pushed at him or asked him.  He wanted to bring Haru off this way, reveling in the reception of his efforts, of Haru’s fingertips scraping at his shoulders and his quickening breaths.  When Rin’s jaw started to ache, he kept going, sensing Haru’s nearness in shaking limbs and quiet pants.  He slipped a hand into the mix, adding pressure to his rhythm—that was when Haru stopped breathing, his hips quivering, fingers digging hard into Rin’s skin.  He hung there for one sweet second before he came apart with a loud groan, hips jerking forward and his entire body trembling in the circle of Rin’s arm.

Rin waited until Haru calmed before he drew back, a flash of tongue and one last languid stroke making Haru grunt and glare at him.  He smirked as he wiped the corner of his mouth, drinking in the sight of Haru’s pleasure-filled gaze.  Rin only got to gloat for a second while Haru turned off the water.  Then he was falling, pushed down onto the towels with Haru naked across his thighs.

Haru’s kiss took no prisoners and he didn’t stop there.  Rin moaned into Haru’s mouth as a warm hand slipped beneath the waistband of his speedos.  Strong fingers curled around him and Rin bucked against his lover’s palm, breaking their kiss to gasp for breath.  The glitter in blue eyes told Rin he was in for it, his heart racing as Haru leaned back and slid down his body.

Rin obediently lifted himself to help as Haru dragged the speedo from his hips.  Freedom from the merciless spandex was an instant relief, but Haru didn’t let him dwell there, it was only a trade from one captivity to another, except this was liquid fire, tight wet heat that made him shudder with pleasure, his nerves writhing beneath his skin.  Rin gripped fistfuls of the towel and groaned, a willing prisoner in this bathing oasis; Haru was the water quenching the burning sand.

The blood rushed through Rin’s body; he was too worked up already to last long.  Haru knew him well though, drawing it out until he was gasping and quivering against the tile floor…then a few long glides of lips and hands was all it took to send him careening over the edge, his cries and choked curses echoing in the small bathroom.

Haru ensured he was thoroughly spent before releasing him, Rin pushing himself up on shaking elbows as Haru sat up, reaching once more for the showerhead and the bottle of pineapple-scented scrub.  Neither of them was, erm, decent; it would take a while…and that was supposing the rest of their shaving didn’t rile them up again. 

“Back to business, huh?” Rin muttered between breaths, sitting up and running a hand through his tousled hair.  Where the hell had his hair tie gone?

“For now,” Haru said, reeling him in for a kiss.

-x-

They got through ninety-percent of the wet shaving before mutually deciding it was good enough.  Rin’s skin tingled, ultra-sensitive as they rinsed each other off, Haru seeming to need just as much contact as he climbed into Rin’s arms, the two of them balanced on one of the wooden stools, still naked.  There was a reason their shaving kit now included condoms and lubricant.  They were kissing as Haru made his desires clear, wrapping Rin’s fingers in slick liquid and pushing his hand underneath. 

Rin drew back with an unsteady breath, seeking the confirmation in blue eyes before proceeding.  The first time he did this, with Haru staying over at his place back in August, he’d blushed start to finish.  Since then, he’d gotten over the self-consciousness and they switched it up pretty regularly when tapered, but it still wasn’t something he took lightly when Haru wanted or offered this.

He drew Haru closer, tucking his free arm around his lover’s torso and slipping his lips down Haru’s throat to the juncture of neck and shoulder.  Haru’s breath came out in a sigh as Rin worked, his head tipped back to allow Rin’s lips and teeth more access.  Rin needed to be careful not to leave marks, not this close to the competition—

When Haru pushed against his fingers, Rin accidentally bit down, muttering a string of curses as he lifted his head. 

Haru’s eyes were shades darker, drenched with pleasure and impatience.  “Rin…”

“Nn, damnit.”  A little bit more and Rin withdrew, fumbling for the condom packet.

Haru plucked it from his fingers, tearing it open and smoothly rolling the latex onto him, followed by a fresh coating of lubricant. 

“Haru—”

“I want you in me,” Haru whispered.

Fuck everything.  Rin stopped breathing, hanging on for dear life as Haru sank down onto him, taking him what always felt impossibly deep, impossibly tight, impossibly—

Rin gasped into his lover’s skin, his arms wrapped around Haru’s shoulders.  He couldn’t _not_ move, as much as the position allowed, rocking into Haru, into the heat of their union as they both took shuddering breaths.  Rin’s heart hammered in his chest, Haru’s pulse running just as fast against Rin’s lips. 

Haru shifted, getting his feet on the floor for leverage and Rin groaned as his lover set the pace, sliding his hands down to Haru’s waist to guide and steady…  The rickety stool was not terribly made for this, though the angle was good and the depth was unreal; Rin still worried that they’d end up falling and that could be, well, disastrous.

“Haru…”  He grasped for words between hard breaths.  “We should…”

“Nn.”  Haru slowed.  “I want the bed, Rin.”

“ _Now_ you decide you want the bed?”

Haru nodded. 

 _Damnit_.  “Get off then.”

Haru considered this for a moment, then shook his head.

Rin pursed his lips, mentally counting the steps between here and the bedroom.  “This is not a good idea.”

“I believe in you, Rin.”

 _Fuck_.  Rin grunted.  “Hang on then.  Damnit.”

Haru wrapped arms and legs around him, Rin grabbing the edge of the tub to wrench them upright, his other hand locked on Haru’s thigh.  His legs were already shaking, though truth be told he didn’t want to leave Haru’s body…  _If we don’t end up falling it’s gonna be a miracle._

He was able to get both hands on Haru then, carefully crossing the towels towards the door.  Even the jostling movements felt amazing, their groans interspersed with Rin’s rough breaths of exertion.  “You weigh almost as much as I do.”

“I carried you before.” 

“Shut up.  That was round one.  Not the same.”

Haru hummed his amusement, Rin managing to get them into the hallway at least.  He paused there, pushing Haru against the wall to catch his breath.

“Mm, _Rin_ …”  Haru moaned against his neck.  “Like the locker room—”

“Damnit, Haru.  I’m trying to _concentrate_.”  Rin punctuated his syllables with frustrated thrusts.  It felt way too good to stop, though he wasn’t sure how much longer his legs would hold out.  So he _didn’t_ need to be distracted by memories of Haru lifting him against the wall of the shower stall—or vice versa—after their jetlagged, post-midnight makeout sessions in the Koutei pool.

Thankfully the door to the bedroom was open and they spilled across the threshold.  Rin stopped beside the low bed, his breath coming in hard puffs.  “Down.  I can’t bend my knees.”

Haru unlocked his ankles, bracing one foot on the bed which partially relieved his weight.  Rin was able to lower them then, getting Haru on his back before collapsing on top, that handful of steps feeling like more of a workout than anything Maekawa had thrown at them.

“After all that, I _suppose_ you want me to—”  He nipped Haru’s collarbone for emphasis. 

But Haru shook his head and rolled them.  Rin’s lungs emptied as Haru took him deep, settled astride his hips. 

“I wanted you in our bed, Rin.  Like this.” 

 _Our bed._   He reached up as Haru leaned down.  They gathered each other close, hands skimming across bare skin, fingers brushing aside strands of hair in the momentary reprieve.  Rin’s breath came out in a sweet waver, his world all at once beautiful and still and filled with the blue of Haru’s eyes.  As Haru captured his lips, their hips finding rhythm in slow, languid motions, he melted into Haru’s embrace, in love and overcome.

-x-

They were a sweaty tangle of limbs, after, with the blankets kicked to the foot of the bed.  Rin’s hair stuck to his cheeks and Haru’s, their soft breathing the only sound in the room as they recovered by the glow of the city lights beyond their windows. 

Haru was the first to move and he didn’t go very far, merely re-centering on Rin’s chest and brushing their lips together.  His blue eyes were drowsy and sated, full of warmth.  “I love our life together, Rin.”

“Haru.”  Rin’s eyes flared wide, the emotion flooding in right behind.  Anything he might’ve said was caught behind the heated lump forming in his throat.  He lifted a hand instead, Haru nuzzling into his palm and smiling.  Haru’s left hand covered Rin’s right, and even though there wasn’t a ring on Haru’s finger yet, Rin knew it would only be a symbol of everything they _already_ had together, everything they were to each other.

He angled his head for Haru’s lips, Haru meeting him there, the kiss long and tender and full of wordless _I love you’s_. 

There wasn’t anything _sort of_ about it.

* * *

Thursday, November 17th, 2016

* * *

_“Ichi-ni-san—  Happy Birthday, Makoto!”  “Happy Birthday, Mako-chan!”_

The Koutei-Todai voices in the room mixed with those Skyping in on tablets and phones, Makoto blushing hard at his spot at the center of the table.  They’d rented out the banquet room at Makoto’s favorite restaurant for the occasion, the birthday cake white with two tall sparklers and a ring of ripe strawberries surrounding a placard made of chocolate with お誕生日おめでとうマコト written in white icing.  The fondant orca perched next to the sparklers was Haru’s idea.

_“Onii-chan, blow out the candles!!”_

“OK, here I go…”  Makoto drew a deep breath—

Rin smiled as he looked on, one arm tucked around Haru’s waist while Haru filmed with his phone.  There weren’t nearly enough chairs in the packed room, Rin having no qualms about Haru using his lap for one. 

Makoto got both candles out in one go and everyone cheered, Rin smiling and trying not to cringe at yet another reminder that he was the baby of the group.  Haru, Sousuke, and Makoto were all twenty now, while he still had three months to go.

“Thanks, you guys!” Makoto said, looking a little emotional while Takara and Konishi jumped in to cut the cake. 

They were between heats and finals on day one of the Asian Swimming Championships.  It wasn’t going to be long before everyone in red-white-and-black Team Japan warmups had to return to the NTC to catch their bus back to Tatsumi.

“ _Mikan and I baked you a cake too_ ,” Gou said via Skype.  “ _We’ll bring it this weekend_.”

Rin made a face his sister couldn’t see; he could’ve sworn Makoto paled a little, despite his smile.

“Thanks so much, Gou-san…”

 _“Don’t worry, Makoto,”_ Mikan’s voice came over the same Skype window.  _“I picked the ingredients.  Gou only helped.”_

_“Mikan…”_

“Haha, my sister’s a great cook!”  Mikoshiba slapped Makoto on the back.  “You’ll like her cake, even if it’s lacking in protein.”

 _“That’s what I said!”_   Gou huffed.

Rin flicked his eyes towards the ceiling as he and Haru waved off a sliver of cake.  _You two are something else._

“I want Gou-san’s cake!”  Momo rocked in his chair until Sada slipped a plate in front of him.

“Calm down, Squeaker.”

Momo’s eyes went huge.  He gripped the fork Sada put in his hand, digging in immediately.  “Thanks, Sada-nee!” he said with his mouth full.

“Ahh, Sada-kun…”

“Relax, Mikoshiba,” Sada said, rolling her eyes. 

“You’re watching your figure that much, Rin?” Sousuke asked from his side, accepting the plate of cake Takara offered him.

“I’ve got multiple events tonight,” Rin murmured.

“Including your showdown with Sugiyama,” Kawamura added, swiping the strawberry from Sousuke’s slice.

Sousuke arched a brow.  “You’re taking that?”

“Can I have it?” Kawamura asked. 

Rin forgot the name of the Todai second-year who was using Kawamura’s lap for a chair.  She was totally engrossed in her conversation with a peer one seat over and wasn’t paying a lick of attention to the conversation between the two flyers.

“Since you asked nicely, you can.”

Rin eyed the pair, considering them as well as Takara’s lack of reaction, which was still puzzling.  Did Kawamura drink tea?  Probably…

Haru elbowed him lightly in the ribs. 

“It’s not a showdown,” Rin muttered.  Sugiyama hadn’t changed perceptibly over the last three months, at least as much as Rin could tell.  He wasn’t bothered by it, though.  Coach Fujino made a point at clinic of changing up all the relays this week, wanting to get as many new members of the team experience as possible.  Rin and Haru were swimming all three relays as usual, but weren’t in the same lineup until Sunday night’s 4x100m free final.

Rin was the one who felt different.  Even in practice, he could tell—his swimming now lacked the desperation he used to carry with him.  In its place, he was mellow and confident, no longer fighting with himself.  It showed in his practice times, at least on days when he and Haru hadn’t gotten too carried away the night prior or morning of.  The way he swam now was rather, well…free.  _Damnit, Haru_.

Haru quirked a brow, questioning him silently.

Rin just exhaled through his nose, tightening his arm around his lover’s waist.

-x-

“Matsuoka-kun.”  Tsuchiya was waiting for him when they got back to Tatsumi prior to warm ups, which were scheduled to start at 6PM.

Rin separated himself from his teammates and Haru (and Haru’s shoulder).  “I’ll catch up.”

Haru nodded, heading inside with the others.

Rin jogged over and bowed.  “Tsuchiya-san.”

“About your request.”  She produced a card folder from the pocket of her pants suit, offering him a business card.  “Our associates.  You have an appointment at 1PM tomorrow.  If you need help with transportation, please let me know.”

Rin dipped his head, swallowing as he read the characters in embossed ink below the proprietor’s name.  _Custom metallurgy design and bespoke jewelers._   His cheeks heated.  “Thank you, Tsuchiya-san.”

“We have a long-standing relationship, but their works speak for themselves.  I believe you’ll be pleased.  And you should, I trust, become familiar with at least one of their designs this evening.”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by the last bit, but that’s when Tsuchiya’s phone trilled.  Rin bowed again as she left, tucking the card safely into his wallet.  _I’m really doing this_.  The nerves woke like little butterflies in his stomach.  After a month of fruitless, clandestine searching, this finally felt like progress.  He still had no idea what he wanted the ring to _look_ like, but…

“Ahh.”  Rin shoved his wallet back into his pocket, rubbing the back of his neck as he headed inside. 

-x-

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the finalists in the men’s one hundred meter butterfly.  In lane eight, representing Hong Kong…”_

Rin waited his turn in final call, swim cap on and goggles perched on his forehead.  _I swear they got the same announcer-guy from Rio._   It wasn’t a bad gig, if so.  The Asian Swimming Championships only happened once every four years; a fairly big event if limited to one continent.

“ _In lane one, representing India_ …”

Sugiyama was right behind him, both of them putting out leisurely 53’s in the morning heats.  Rin had no misconceptions that he was trained or tapered enough to throw around 50’s like in Rio, but it felt good to race with his childhood idol / current rival, with the 200m free final with Haru yet to go, and the promise of spending the night in the arms of the one he loved after that.  (No one offered to room with them at the NTC—Rin couldn’t imagine why not, smirking at the thought.)

After swimmers from Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, and China headed out, Rin stepped up to the entrance—the backdrop white with pink _sakura_ blossoms and petals below sponsors logos and lettering in English, _The 10 th Asian Swimming Championships 2016 in JAPAN_.

“ _In lane three, representing Japan…Rin Matsuoka._ ”

He waved to a roaring crowd, his teammates, classmates, and friends in the stands, not to mention the fans.  Everyone was beating those inflated tube things together; it was an odd sound, but he was getting used to it—and it was much less irritating than cowbell.

Rin walked the length of the pool and took his place behind lane three. 

“Coach Matsuoka!” 

He waved to the Koutei high schoolers, then shucked off his warmups behind the blocks.  Rin sighed at a fresh round of squealing as he did so.  _I’m very taken, Ladies._   He adjusted the wedge on his block, then did a final check of the grip-bands on his jammers, just above each knee.  He’d traded his legskins for the shorter suit during the World Cup—jammers were so much easier to get on and _especially_ to take off, which was all that mattered sometimes—and he’d stuck with them since.  The small hit to his times was worth it and nonconsequential in the end.  _The suit probably gives you a tenth, Rin,_ Haru said once, referring to his legskins.  Rin spent all of September making Haru eat those words, in and out of the pool.

Sugiyama filled in lane five two lanes over, the top seed from China taking lane four on Rin’s left.  At the four-pulse whistle, Rin headed for the block, setting one foot on top.  The crowd quieted in time for the long whistle…  He stepped up and lowered his goggles into place, snapping the strap against his Team Japan swim cap before he positioned his feet and gripped the edge.

“ _Take your marks…”_

Rin tensed for the buzzer, leaping into streamline at the start—

The sight he saw that race, as soon as he plunged into the water, made him grin—it was Haru’s drunken butterfly in the hotel pool, the night they said _I do_.

-x-

At the end of one hundred meters, Rin slapped both hands against tile, a full stroke ahead of the Chinese swimmer in lane four.  He raked off his cap and goggles, invigorated by his first long course final since Rio.  Racing on the world’s stage felt like nothing else and doing it at home was even better.

_“Please congratulate the gold medalist in lane four, Rin Matsuoka of Japan, fifty-one eighty-seven.  In second place, lane five, Noboru Sugiyama of Japan, fifty-one eighty-nine.  In third place, representing China…”_

Two hundredths of a second.  Rin grinned, clinging to the wall and thrusting a fist high to thunderous applause.  He accepted handshakes from his competitors over the lane lines before hoisting himself out of the pool by the blocks.

“Matsuoka!”  “Matsuoka-kun!”  “Rin!” 

He waved at Sousuke and Makoto, knowing Haru was watching from the call room.  The award ceremony was to follow immediately, so Rin toweled off behind the blocks, grabbing his warmups.

“Matsuoka.”

He nearly dropped everything on the floor at the sound of Sugiyama’s voice.  Rin turned, his eyes widening at the sight of his rival’s outstretched hand.  _Play it cool, Matsuoka.  Damnit_.  Rin reached out, clasping Sugiyama’s hand in a firm handshake.  His insides were all giddy and he fought to keep it from showing on his face.

“Don’t get used to this,” Sugiyama muttered.

“Too late.”  He grinned, Sugiyama rolled his eyes, and Rin was on top of the world.

Officials ushered them to the sponsors’ wall first, where they answered a few questions before they were directed to the podium.  Rin had his warmups back on by then, finger-combing his hair into something presentable.  _It looks good when it’s wet, Rin.  It doesn’t matter what you do with it._   Rin beamed at the thought, imagining the way he’d tackle Haru as soon as he got back to the call room.

_“Ladies and gentlemen, the medalists in the men’s one hundred meter butterfly.  In third place, bronze medalist from China…”_

Rin waited his turn behind the top step of the podium while his competitors stepped up to either side of him as their names were called. 

_“In first place, gold medalist from Japan—”_

The cheering almost drowned out his name.  Rin stepped up, waving with both arms high.  As the awards committee came his way, he accepted the chrysanthemum bouquet, the little green stuffed JASF mascot (he still couldn’t figure out what the thing was—maybe a frog?), and his gold medal.  It hung on a wide red lanyard with _The 10 th Asian Swimming Championships_ written in white.  There was a similar inscription on the face of the medal.  As for the medal design itself…

 _Holy shit._   Rin stared without blinking at the five-petaled _sakura_ blossom, the pink inlayed straight into the gold with a star in the center.  Tsuchiya’s voice came back to him as his heart pounded in his chest.

_You should, I trust, become familiar with at least one of their designs this evening…_

Breathless, Rin flipped the medal over…sure enough, on one edge in tiny engraved characters was the same company name as the business card Tsuchiya had given him.

He knew, in an instant, what would make the ring shine.  The shape of their love, from the beginning, had always been _sakura_.  Just add gold, and it was perfect.  Rin grinned, warmth filling him as he clutched the medal in his hand and finally gave his attention back to the cameras.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is really for part 2... I wanted to write one chapter, but... *reasons*
> 
> Sakura [medals](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/7/b/7bd72db0.jpg)


	42. Swim toward the hope, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is taken from disc 2, track 3 of the Season 1 OST. Hands down my favorite swimming track of the series, because it's so ridiculous(ly awesome). ~~Why *not* swimming + disco??~~ There's a clip on [Amazon.co.jp](https://www.amazon.co.jp/TV%E3%82%A2%E3%83%8B%E3%83%A1-Free-%E3%82%AA%E3%83%AA%E3%82%B8%E3%83%8A%E3%83%AB%E3%82%B5%E3%82%A6%E3%83%B3%E3%83%89%E3%83%88%E3%83%A9%E3%83%83%E3%82%AF-Ever-Sounds/dp/B00DZ4XCA8/ref=pd_bxgy_15_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=B9WDA62J0A9PKNY533GW).  
>  Edit: If the link doesn't work for you, the song plays at the very beginning of S1E9 (though it's an abbreviated version)

* * *

Friday, November 25th, 2016

* * *

“Rin’s being weird lately.”  Haru shrugged out of his jacket, draping it over the hanger on the wall before slipping onto the barstool at the end of the counter.  He tucked his sunglasses into the neck of his long-sleeve henley, the top button undone.  Technically the shirt was Rin’s.  It was dark garnet red, made of the softest slubbed cotton Haru had ever touched.  He loved the way it felt against his skin (much like he loved the way the shirt’s owner felt against his skin, but that was not the point right now). 

“How so?” Makoto asked, taking the stool next to Haru’s after hanging his coat.  Haru folded back the partition between their individual booths as Makoto rolled up the sleeves of his gray and green plaid shirt and settled in.

“Nn.”  Haru picked up a pen, pondering the order sheet in front of him and the various ramen customization options.  It was definitely a strong flavor sort of day, medium richness though, and no garlic or green onions (unless he wanted to hear about it later).  _Chashu_ —yes, half-spicy, and firm, no… _extra_ firm noodles.  Haru finished circling his selections.  “He seems anxious and excitable.  More so than normal.”  _He’s jumpy when his phone rings…  I catch him on the computer and he quickly changes what he’s doing, turning red…_

Makoto hummed thoughtfully, his pen tapping against the countertop.  “How long has he been like that?”

“About a week.”  Haru placed his order form and tickets at the window and pressed the button for service.

“You’re done already?  Haru!”  Makoto exhaled and busily filled out his form. 

“What?  I know what I want today.”  Haru shrugged.

“Hmm.”  Makoto finished his order and straightened, giving him a fond look.  “Maybe you’re the one being weird, Haru-chan.” 

 _Maybe_.

A server came by, taking their order sheets and tickets.

“Everything else is fine, right?  School and swimming and, er…”  Makoto flushed pink under the restaurant’s low lights.

Haru opened the small towelette packet in front of him and cleaned his hands.  “Everything else is fine, Makoto.”  Better than fine, but for Makoto’s sake he wouldn’t go into detail.  Their coaches had allowed them to remain tapered following the Asian Swimming Championships, given the relay event tomorrow.  Even with their busy schedules, they’d been able to take advantage…  Rin didn’t complain about taper anymore.  Haru especially liked it when, afterwards, they would relax in the bath together, Rin reclining drowsily in his arms or the other way around.  He loved the stillness and quiet, the sound of the water and their breathing as they gradually came down from the pleasure high.  But bedroom things were private and Makoto was never comfortable discussing the topic anyways.

“We _do_ have midterms coming up,” Makoto said.  “They’re particularly brutal this semester.  I feel like Coach Fujino’s trying to make up for all the time he’s been gone this year.”

 _I don’t think it’s school related_.  Haru folded the towelette and set it aside for later.  It was true they both had a lot to finish up before the year was over, but Rin wouldn’t be blushing over papers and presentations.  The second time it happened, Haru asked Rin if he was looking up sex positions.  Rin vehemently denied it, slamming his laptop closed, which led to a mini-argument, which led to the discovery that their desk-slash-table was the perfect height for some things.  In any case, Haru didn’t think Rin’s odd behavior was sex-related either (though he didn’t regret asking the question).

Makoto offered a few more possibilities as their ramen came.  Haru mulled over the ideas while they ate, but none of them seemed to fit.  Regardless, he wasn’t concerned.  Nothing seemed out of sorts between them in the least and they _were_ both juggling a lot.  _Rin will tell me when he’s ready._

Haru used his chopsticks to swirl the noodles around in his bowl.  “Did you ask Mikan out again, this weekend?”

Makoto reddened, taking a long drink from his cup of water before answering.  “Haru, I’m so nervous.  I _have_ to tell Mikoshiba at some point…”

“It’s not a big deal, Makoto.”  Haru refilled his cup from the tap in his booth.  _Instant water_.  “It’s between you and Mikan.  What’s Mikoshiba got to do with it?”

“Well, that’s what Mikan says.  But she’s his younger sister and I see him every day…  I hate feeling like I’m doing something behind his back.”

Haru arched a brow.  Three dates _not_ preceded by months of muscle-picture swapping hardly qualified as anything to worry about in his mind.  “Are things getting serious?”

Makoto flushed to the tips of his ears.  “I mean, not…not really.”  His voice came out a half-octave higher than normal.

 _I’m pretty sure she kissed you_.  Last weekend, Makoto had accompanied the Iwatobi crew to Haneda Airport Sunday evening while the members of Team Japan prepped for their final races.  He’d come back mute and crimson and hadn’t uttered a word to anyone.  It wasn’t until a day and a half later that he seemed normal again.  Makoto, as reserved as he was in general, was hard to read under normal circumstances; he didn’t get all starry-eyed and glowy like Gou and Mikoshiba or outspoken and unbearable like Takara.  The difference Haru saw in his best friend’s eyes was more subtle and quiet, but it _was_ there and the fact that Makoto had asked Mikan out again, one week after the suspected kiss, was more telling than anything.  “I don’t think you should stress yourself out, Makoto.  But if it bothers you, you can tell him.”

Makoto sighed, his brow creased.  “I know.  I just don’t know _how_ to tell him.”

“What do you mean, ‘how?’  Just say what’s on your mind.”

“That’s…not so helpful, Haru.”

 _Why not?_   Haru frowned. 

Makoto chuckled, reading his face, and returned to his bowl.  “I envy you, you know?  The way you’re never ruffled or held back by what people might think.”

Haru set his chopsticks down, turning on his stool to face his friend.  “Makoto, you’re kind and caring.  You’re dedicated, loyal, dependable, and hardworking.  You’re always there when anyone needs you; you always know just what to say when someone’s feeling down.  I don’t know why anyone _wouldn’t_ be thrilled that someone they care about is dating you.”

Makoto’s spoon made a splashing sound as it dropped into the soup.  “Haru…”  His green eyes were wide and gleaming, his face freshly pink. 

 _Nn.  I didn’t say anything weird_.

After a few seconds, Makoto recovered, sniffing hard and picking up his towelette to wipe his hands.  “Maybe you’re right.  Maybe your way is best, Haru.”

Haru pursed his lips.  “Now you’re making me feel self-conscious.”

Makoto laughed, his smile as bright as a warm summer’s day.

-x-

On the other side of the windows, all manner of rings, earrings, and necklaces sparkled against white velvet in the display case.  The storefront was glass, reflecting the semi-cloudy skies and the shops and buildings nearby in the heart of Taitō City, just east of Bunkyō.

“You’re sure you’re OK with me being here?” Makoto asked.

Haru nodded.  “I want to show you.”  He got the door, letting Makoto precede him inside.

“ _Irrashaimase_ —  Oh, Tachibana-kun, Nanase-kun!”

“Konya-senpai!” 

Konya Megumi came to greet them at the door, wearing a formal black pants suit rather than the cotton work clothing, apron, and gloves Haru was used to seeing her wear in the workshop on Koutei’s campus.  Her long raven hair fell straight and glossy to her shoulders, tucked back behind her ears where she wore delicate stud earrings with chips of vibrant blue, a matching pendant hanging from a thin chain around her neck.

“I didn’t know you worked here,” Makoto said.

Megumi smiled.  “I was lucky to get this apprenticeship.  I don’t talk about it much on campus because I don’t want people to be jealous.”

“Matsushima-san is a master,” Haru said, Megumi nodding her agreement. 

“If you’d like to come upstairs, I have everything ready, Nanase-kun.”

Haru dipped his head.  “Thanks, Megumi-senpai.”

They followed her through the first floor of the boutique shop, past two curved display cases of jewelry, with comfortable seating in front of each section.  The walls held larger pieces, including—

“Haru, those—”  Makoto pointed at three medals hanging on the wall from red _Asian Swimming Championships_ lanyards—one gold, one silver, one bronze—each with the pink _sakura_ emblem in the center.

“Both Tsuchiya-san and Megumi-senpai recommended Matsushima-san to me.”  Haru smiled to himself.  Between him and Rin, they had their own mini-collection on the wall in their apartment.  _As soon as I walked in the door and saw those, I knew I was in the right place._

Next to the staircase, a separate set of glass doors led into the attached workshop.  Matsushima was engrossed at his workbench as usual, his head of thinning, silver hair bent over his current project.  Haru caught a glimpse of lustrous metal as he polished the piece.

Upstairs were offices and small meeting rooms, Megumi showing them to the first door on the right.  Plenty of afternoon daylight lit the space, which contained a desk with a computer and jewelers’ implements laid out on squares of white cloth.  Haru had his first consultation with Matsushima two weeks prior in this very room.

Megumi took their coats and served them tea at the desk before going to a set of locked, lacquer drawers on one side of the room.

Makoto leaned over as they settled into their chairs.  “I didn’t see a price tag on anything downstairs,” he whispered.

Haru met his best friend’s gaze, exhaling.  “Don’t ask.”

Makoto grimaced faintly.

“Here we are.”  Megumi returned, setting two trays lined with white velvet on the desk.  One held a dozen acrylic boxes, each with a tiny gemstone on a folded cloth.  The second tray held a wax model in dark, opaque green, of the ring.

Haru’s breath caught as he saw it.  Today was the first time he was seeing the real thing—not just a drawing in his sketchbook or a CAD model on the computer.  Even though it was only wax and not gold, a lump still formed in his throat.  The ring he wanted to give Rin was finally taking shape.  The gold wouldn’t fall apart like the pineapple had.  The ring would be an enduring symbol of their promise, shining on his husband’s hand and proclaiming their love to the world, even if parts of that same world weren’t ready to see their relationship stamped in ink and sealed on legal paperwork.  The latter was still important to Haru, but this came first.  Though he was usually so patient and fine with waiting, he was impatient now—impatient to stop living as boyfriends and _sort of_ (privately) more. 

It was on the Dubai-Doha leg that he’d decided not to wait; that he’d chosen to pursue this seriously (even though Rin wasn’t twenty yet).  In the midst of the suffocating heat and laws, they’d had few opportunities to interact with fans and sign autographs.  Haru remembered the young teenager clearly—brown eyes, curly dark hair.  The boy’s grip was fierce as they shook hands.  “ _Thanks for being who you are_ ,” he’d whispered in English, his eyes gleaming as he pulled away, clutching his autographed magazine.  After that, _sort of_ seemed like a cute game amidst stakes too high and too real to merely pretend anymore.  He hoped Rin felt the same way.  With this ring—the symbol of his feelings and commitment—in hand, he’d finally ask.

Megumi picked up the wax ring with a pair of long tweezers, offering it for his inspection.  Haru accepted the ring, weighty in his palm despite its construction and slipped it onto his ring finger.  It was a slim band, fitting easily over his knuckle.  The design was minimal; he hadn’t wanted too many frills—just smooth edges and the gently rounded gold.  The centerpiece was five _sakura_ petals arranged in a blossom, carved into the wax mold where the concave rose gold inlays would go, sloping down towards the stone that would be nestled in the heart of the flower.  Haru ran his thumb over the tiny _sakura_ blossom, the pad of his finger learning its edges.  He’d spent days—weeks—sketching in the bath or whenever he got a spare moment when Rin wasn’t around.  Nothing felt right until his consultation here, until he held the _sakura_ gold medal in his hand, running his thumb across the same edges in larger scale.  The simplicity of the design struck him like lightning; he’d done the sketch right there in Matsushima’s presence, approved the CAD model a week later…and now the ring was on his finger.

“It’s a little loose,” Haru murmured, noting the play between the band and his skin.

“Oh, well, we started with your size and worked up a little bit,” Megumi said.  “Since you were guessing your partner’s ring size is larger than yours.”

“It’s a slight difference,” Haru said, though he couldn’t quantify it.

Makoto pressed his lips, obviously fighting a smile.

“Hm.  Just a moment.”  Megumi got up, going back to the lacquer drawers and returning.  “Here’s the model based on your size, Nanase-kun.”  She placed another velvet drawer on the table, offering the second wax model with her tweezers.

Haru traded her rings.  This one slid over his knuckle and sat perfectly against his skin.  He sighed.  _It doesn’t help at all, knowing my size._

“How are you going to find out without giving away the surprise?” Makoto asked.

Haru removed the ring, Megumi returning it to the tray.  “Takara had an idea.”  _Just wear him out, Haruka!  Measure while he’s sleeping_.  “…It didn’t work.”

Makoto looked puzzled.

“It’s OK.  I asked for help.  We’re meeting Director Kaya and Haseda-san later.”  Haru sipped from his teacup, his gaze falling to the tray with the gemstones.

Smiling, Megumi slid the trays with the wax rings aside, centering the gemstones in front of him.  “Ready, Nanase-kun?”

Haru nodded, returning his teacup to its saucer.  “Ready.”

They went one at a time, Haru viewing through the 10x triplet loupe as Megumi presented each gemstone and explained its features.  The heart of the _sakura_ blossom was designed for a 3mm round brilliant-cut gemstone.  Haru could have picked a diamond, but he wanted the stone to be red.  The rubies, garnets, and alexandrites Megumi showed him had beautiful depths of color, the alexandrite especially having facets of lilac within, but it was the fifth stone that made Haru draw breath.

Megumi apparently noted his reaction, lingering with the stone in her tweezers, tilting it again just so beneath his scrutiny.

“We classify this as a red sapphire rather than a ruby.”

“Not all sapphires are blue?” Makoto asked.

“Sapphires and rubies are both varieties of _corundum_ , rubies being the pure red stones and sapphires occurring in many colors in addition to blue.  This particular stone has peach and brownish-pink undertones, whereby we classify it as a sapphire.  Others may still consider it a ruby, however.  It’s also loupe clean, which is the highest clarity rating for these types of stones.”

Haru’s gaze was fixed to the gem.  As it caught the light, its center burst red and peach and warm gold like a star, like the fireworks over their heads at the Rio Opening Ceremonies.  He remembered the fireworks most vividly against Rin’s scarlet eyes.

“This one,” he said, his voice coming out hoarse.  Haru straightened, lowering the loupe and clearing his throat.  “I’d like this one, please.”

Megumi smiled, returning the gem to its container and placing it in the tray with the wax ring.  “It’s an excellent choice, Nanase-kun.  Give me one minute…”  She woke up the computer, typing and clicking briefly.  “Here’s our rendering.”  She turned the screen towards them.

Haru’s fingers curled against his knees as the CAD model rotated slowly.  He wasn’t really breathing.  There in gleaming gold with the pink _sakura_ petals and the heart of fire like his Rin, was the ring he could already imagine on his fiancé’s hand.

-x-

“ _Tadaima_.”  Haru hurried in the door, slipping off his shoes long enough to grab his gear bag and nearly colliding with Rin as he came down the stairs.

“Hey, you’re almost late.”  Rin already had his jacket on, picking up his identical gear bag in the entryway.

“I know, sorry.”  Haru exhaled, fiddling with a shoe.  “Sorry.”

Rin frowned.  “You OK?”

“Yeah.”  It was an inadequate response, but he had no words for the way he felt inside.  There was so much love in his heart he felt like he was bursting at the seams.  The impatience was foreign but he couldn’t do anything but feel it.  Haru wondered how he could possibly last an entire month until they were in Sydney together, even though the weeks would be filled with training, competitions, and schoolwork.  The question was on the tip of his tongue already—rushed and not the way he wanted to ask it, not without the ring and not in the entryway of their apartment when they were about to be late for a meeting with their sponsors.

Rin quirked a brow, coming closer and studying his face.  “Are you sure?”

“No,” Haru whispered and it was the honest answer as he wrapped his arms around Rin’s waist, pulling him into an embrace.  “I haven’t been OK since the moment we met.”

“ _Tch_ , Haru…”  Rin’s breath came out long and slow against his hair.  Rin looped arms around his shoulders, drawing back just enough for them to look at each other, the tips of their noses touching.  “Why are you being weird?  Just tell me you love me.”

“I love you,” Haru said, catching Rin’s lips for a kiss that lingered.  “ _I love you_.”  He swallowed, hugging Rin tighter as their gazes met.  “I could say it a thousand times—a million times—and it wouldn’t ever be enough.”

Rin’s eyes widened, full of starbursts like the red sapphire at the jeweler’s shop.  His face softened as he matched their lips again.  “Try,” he whispered.  “And I’ll raise you a million _I love you’s_ more.”

 _Rin_ …  “It’ll take a while.  Like…”

“…A lifetime?” Rin murmured between kisses, his cheeks pink.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

Haru’s heart soared, his impatience easing, though the overflowing love didn’t diminish one bit.  They lost themselves in kisses and sweet touches, forgetting about shoes and gear bags and meetings…until Rin’s phone buzzed.

-x-

Director Kaya didn’t say a word about the time when they arrived at the Koutei pool breathless after running the half-kilometer from their apartment.  The pool itself was roped up for tomorrow—all six lanes—and Koutei staff were double-checking the electronic screens that would be used for tracking the laps.  Booths for sustenance and merchandise were being set up on the edges of the pool deck as well as in the hallways…and instead of a podium, there was a stage for the DJ and karaoke.  Haseda was already taking photos, surveying the lighting, and having her assistants change things here and there.

“Good afternoon, guys!”  Director Kaya met them with her clipboard, all smiles.  “Everything’s coming together, huh?  Sorry to call you away, but we have one last-minute item that we need your help preparing.”  She turned, lifting a hand to her mouth.  “Haseda-san!”

“On my way!”

“Over here, OK?”  Kaya took them over to the windows, near one of the booths.  “And this’ll be quick.  We won’t actually need you guys to change.  This is Kurata-san.”  Kaya introduced a woman in a black polo shirt and slacks.  “She’ll be fitting you.”

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, it’s a pleasure.”  Kurata smiled, shaking their hands.  There was a plastic case in opaque black on top of the booth. 

“We had so many ideas for merchandising.  Some worked out and some didn’t.  Anyway…”  Kaya waved at the case.  “This is something we’ve been wanting to do for a while.  If you would please, Kurata-san.”

“Of course.”  Kurata opened the case.  Inside were rows upon rows of small items in clear packets. 

Haru felt his cheeks warm.  Half of the case was stacked with silicone bracelets in a variety of colors with _WATER IS LIFE_ printed into the bracelet.  The other half was the same except…rings.

“We just need a picture for the backdrop,” Kaya said.  “It’ll be huge for sales, let me tell you.  And, as with all of the other merchandise we’re selling during the event, the full proceeds go to the campaign.”

“I’ll just measure you to make sure we get the right size,” Kurata said, pulling out a ring of smaller rings, just like at the jewelers.  “Who wants to go first?”

“I’ll go first,” Rin said, stepping forward and offering his hand.

Haru pressed his lips, hoping this wasn’t too obvious.  Aside from Takara’s suggestion, there wasn’t any subtle way to get someone’s ring size…  _I’ll have to thank Tsuchiya-san later._

“How’s that, Matsuoka-kun?  Comfortable?” 

Rin nodded.  “Yeah, that’s good.”

“Size eighteen.”  Kurata jotted the number down on a piece of paper.  “Your turn, Nanase-kun.”

“Hai.”  Haru exhaled, holding out his hand.  She tried a couple of different sizes on him, but he knew which one would fit.

“Seventeen for you.”  She smiled.  “Diameter-wise, it’s just over half a millimeter’s difference.”

 _I said it was only slight_.  Haru committed the number to memory, relieved.  Rin wasn’t looking at him suspiciously, so maybe he’d gotten away with it.

“We have several colors, including the metallics.”  Kurata selected a few of the packaged rings in their sizes. 

Haru’s gaze was drawn to the gold.  He couldn’t help it.  The idea of an interim ring—a promise ring—until the real one was ready was terribly enticing.  _But…_   Haru’s face heated.  It would definitely be too obvious were he to suggest—

“It’s gotta be gold,” Haseda said, popping her head into the huddle.  “Director, you said I _can’t_ shoot them in the pool?”

“We’re on a schedule, Haseda-san.”

“Yeah, I get that.  But you’re not the one haunted by that hideous, grainy photo from Rio when you try to sleep at night.”

Kaya clapped her palms together.  “Another time, Haseda-san.”

“ _Fine_.”  Haseda plucked the gold rings from Kurata’s offerings, as well as black wristbands with the _WATER IS LIFE_ logo in opalescent pastels—matching their suits for tomorrow.  “Alright, guys, let’s go.”

Haru drew a slow breath, following Haseda and Rin even closer to the windows.  His heart was starting to thud in his chest.  The air was moist and chlorinated, but his mouth was utterly dry.

They dropped off their gear bags, letting Haseda position them for the best natural lighting.  “It’ll just be your hands and wrists in the shot this time,” she said, still sounding irritated about it.  “Bracelets towards me—your right wrist, Nanase-kun.  Your left, Matsuoka-kun.”  She gave them the wrist bands, Haru and Rin slipping them on next to their shark and dolphin bracelets.  For the rings…  Smiling, Haseda handed the size 18 to Haru and the size 17 to Rin.

Haru blushed, the silicone gold ring with English lettering was featherlight in his hand, but—like with the wax model earlier—it was weighty on his heart.  He swallowed.  “It’s OK, Rin?”

Rin was flushed red.  “Yeah.  Come here.”  He grabbed Haru by the hand, tugging gently.

They stood close together in the light from the windows, ignoring the sound of Haseda’s camera shutter.

“I’ll do it first this time,” Rin murmured.

“OK.”  Haru gave his hand.  It should’ve felt different—without any drinking involved, without their drunk teammates and friends urging them on—but the same promise echoed in Haru’s head and in his heart as Rin slid the silicone ring onto his finger.  _For everything, for the rest of our lives together_ … 

Rin’s hands shook the slightest bit as he let go; Haru caught his retreating hand, lacing their fingers together. 

“Rin…”  He lifted his gaze to the blush in Rin’s face, to the gleam of emotion in crimson eyes.

Rin’s fingers curled firmly into his.  Haru barely breathed, watching Rin’s Adams apple working in a swallow as he offered his hand.

 _I meant it all then_.  Haru carefully slid the slim band onto Rin’s finger, working the flexible silicone over his knuckle and into place.  _I mean it now.  I’ll tell you again when I give you the real ring and with every ceremony and piece of paper after this—as many times as it takes for the world to catch up to us._

Rin gripped his hand, their fingers interwoven with the matching rings catching the daylight from outside.  They took unsteady breaths in unison and then they were hugging—who hugged who first, Haru couldn’t tell, but he needed it and as tight as Rin was holding him—

“Love you,” Rin whispered against his ear.

Haru smiled, melting inside as he buried his face in Rin’s hair.  “Love you.”

-x-

Haru texted Megumi from the jewelers (discretely) as soon as they got home.  Rin was being weird on his computer again, but Haru decided to ignore that, turning his attention towards dinner instead.  He was still wearing the ring and the bracelet—no one had asked for them back and Haru would’ve broke speed records whipping out his wallet if anyone had.  The ring was weightless on his hand, but every time it caught the light or rubbed against his skin, it made him pause, remembering the promise Rin made to him in the pool that night in Rio.  Silicone was definitely an upgrade from the pineapple (as tasty as that was).  Haru had no intention of taking it off.

Rin came down from upstairs with his laptop as Haru was serving rice into bowls.  Chicken was their compromise between _saba_ and steak when they cooked the night before a major race or event and Haru was liking the oven.  He’d made a quick roasted chicken breast with low sodium _ponzu_ sauce and fresh lemon, alongside the stewed vegetables and pickled _daikon_ they always kept on hand, plus fresh salad greens.  Rin’s insistence on their meals containing at least 50% vegetables _was_ benefiting Haru’s times and energy level (among other things); he’d stopped complaining weeks ago.

Rin left his closed laptop on the desk and came over barefoot, wearing a tank top and sweat pants.  “Done already?”

“Yeah.”  Haru handed him the salad bowl.  “Can you take this to the table?”

“Sure.” 

It was impossible _not_ to notice the ‘gold’ ring still on Rin’s finger as he accepted the salad and grabbed the chopsticks and napkins.

The glow started in Haru’s chest, but quickly grew to a smile as he tugged off his dolphin apron and hung it on the hook.  He loaded the rice bowls, chicken plates, and the rest of the vegetables onto a tray to carry to the _kotatsu_.  Rin was waiting for him with the decaf green tea already poured and an arm to drape around his shoulders as soon as he sat down.

“Thanks for making dinner, Haru,” Rin murmured, his gaze full of warmth as he leaned in for a kiss which Haru readily returned.

“ _Itadakimasu_ —”

* * *

Saturday, November 26th, 2016

* * *

“Haru, wake up.”

“Nn.”

“Come _on_!  It’s today!  Wake the fuck up!”

Haru opened his eyes, leaving the sweet bliss of sleep for…Rin on top of him.  _This is better_.  There was a comforter between them, daylight spilling in through the windows.  Rin already had clothes on—a burgundy tank top and dark gray sleep pants.  Scarlet hair brushed Haru’s cheeks. _If you’re trying to motivate me to move, it’s not working._

Rin’s eyes brightened as soon as their gazes met.  Soft fingerpads scraped shards of hair from Haru’s brow, Haru pressing into the caress.

“I made breakfast,” Rin said.  “ _Saba_ with plenty of vegetables.”

“ _Saba?_ ”  Haru freed his arms from the blankets, wrapping Rin up instead. 

“Because it’s a special day, Dummy!”  Rin’s weight was warm and pleasant on top of him.

 _I still don’t want to move_.

“Haru…”  Rin cupped his cheek; Haru could feel the silicone ring on Rin’s finger against his skin.  “You’re gonna do great things for kids around the world today.  Just think of all of that clean water…”

Haru blinked, his mind filled with blue.  “It’s really today.”

“Like I said—”

“Rin—”  He surged upward, catching Rin in a loose embrace.  “We’re gonna—”

“Swim.  As long as we can.  As far as we can.”  Rin grabbed the shark T-shirt Haru had discarded the night prior, slipping it over his head.  “So get up already.  Those laps aren’t gonna swim themselves.”

Haru got his arms through the sleeves and let Rin take him by the hand, pulling him from the room and down the stairs. 

-x-

They stopped by the shrine on the way to Koutei University, Rin ringing the bell as Haru pressed his palms together, his head bowed.  _Please God, help us to make lots of money for the kids today—so they can have clean water._   A gentle breeze stirred the leaves on the nearby trees, rustling through Haru’s hair and rippling across his black and white _gen-mirai_ collection warmups.  He felt a stillness despite the city surrounding them, peace rather than the weight of this day on his shoulders.  His grandmother used to say that God was always listening; that God was closer than anyone thought, like the air Haru breathed or the water that ran through his fingers.  He didn’t know what he personally believed, at least with any certainty, but if God was like the statue he saw in Rio, with arms stretched wide to embrace the whole world…then surely, God cared about the kids who didn’t have water and he could hope for a blessing on their efforts today.

The Koutei campus was buzzing for a Saturday, even more than during the Cultural Festival at the beginning of the month.  Cameras and news crews were everywhere, crowds already gathering around the exhibits outside of the Sports Complex and queueing up at the doors. 

Director Kaya met them at a side entrance, clipboard in hand, and ushered them into the building.  “Sumida-san’s already here.  She’ll do the opening remarks, then it’s all you two for the first fifty meters.  Do you need me to go over the schedule again?  From noon to 1PM, it’s the sprinters, then from one to 2PM the mid-distance swimmers take over—”

Haru shook his head.  He had it all memorized thanks to daily emails and meetings for the last week.  Anything he forgot, he trusted Rin to remember. 

“OK, great!  We’ll see you out there!”

The hallways inside the Sports Complex were packed with swimmers, every flat space claimed for blankets, gear, and sleeping bags.  Any other day—any other swim meet—Haru would’ve been annoyed by tripping over limbs and bumping into people, but this was night and day different.  Everyone coming together like this, joining him and Rin for the sake of clean water—  A warm lump settled in Haru’s throat and they hadn’t even started swimming yet…

Rin draped an arm comfortably around his shoulders.  “You’re getting emotional already?”

“I am not.”

Rin grinned. 

“Haru-chan!”  “Rin-senpai!”

They barely had time to brace before Haru got an armful of Nagisa and Rin was nearly bowled over by Momo.  Laden down with gear and sleeping bags, it was a miracle they stayed upright at all.

“We get to swim together again!”  Nagisa was holding onto him with arms and legs, sobbing into his hair.

“Nagisa…”  Haru smiled, patting his friend’s shoulder lightly, Nagisa’s warmups white with dark red.

“Nagisa-kun, you’re quite heavy and it would be unfortunate to tire Haruka-senpai before the event commences.”  Rei, in matching warmups, had his arms folded across his chest as he carried two gear bags—his and Nagisa’s—with their university emblem on the side.

“It’s OK.  He’s not that heavy.”  Haru wasn’t bothered by Nagisa’s affections, especially now that they got to see each other so rarely. 

“Momo, get down.”  Rin grunted, managing the kid and his gear bag and sleeping bag and—

“You brought your pillow, huh?”  Sousuke’s smile was a bit of a smirk as he showed up with Nitori.

Rin scowled.  “Shut up.  It’s my spare.” 

“Onii-chan!  Haruka-nii-chan!”  Gou replaced Momo in Rin’s arms, clad in a _Water is Life_ T-shirt beneath her college hoodie. 

“Gou, how was your flight?” Rin asked, hugging his sister.

“Good!  Mom sends her love.  For both of you.” 

Once Nagisa let go, Haru accepted a quick hug from his future sister-in-law.  “Thanks, Gou.  Where’s…?”

“Makoto-senpai and Mika-senpai were right behind us…”  Gou frowned, trying to peer through the crowded hallway, but she wasn’t tall enough to have much of a vantage point.

“Haha, the gang’s all here!”  Mikoshiba arrived with an arm around Takara, both of them in their navy blue Koutei warmups.

“Nii-chan!!”  Momo did a flying leap into his brother’s arms, Sousuke whisking Takara out of the way in just the nick of time.

“—Sousuke.”  Takara recovered quickly, pressed up against Sousuke’s chest and smiling as she smoothed the collar of his blue and gold Todai warmup jacket.

Rin was staring at the pair again, trying to puzzle them out.  _It’s none of our business, Rin_.  The important thing was that they both seemed mellow and happy, Kawamura too, so whatever the three of them had sorted out seemed to be working.

“Sei-nii!”  Mikan and Makoto squeezed through the corridor to join them, Mikan getting in on the hug with her brothers, her orange curls somewhat tamed behind a black sports headband.

“Ah, Mikoshiba-senpai…”  Makoto stopped short, turning bright pink.  “Actually, I’d better go, uh, check on the kids.”  He slipped away just as quickly, a flash of navy blue in his Koutei warmups.

“Ah, Mako-chan escaped.”  Nagisa pouted.

“Makoto-senpai has been acting particularly shy lately,” Rei said, adjusting his red glasses.

“He doesn’t need to be scared.  Sei-chan’s not mean and overprotective like Rin-chan.”

“Oi!”  Rin glared at the blonde.

 _You’re not denying it, Rin_.

Gou giggled, slipping her arm through Rin’s and cuddling in.  “But I have the best big brother!”

The frown on Rin’s face melted immediately, replaced by a blush.  “Eh…  I’d better go check on the kids too.  Before it’s too late.”  He gave Gou a squeeze before extracting himself.  “Haru, I’ll be back.”

Haru nodded as they caught each other’s hands briefly. 

“Oh?  Rin-chan, what’s that on your finger?”  Nagisa pressed close.

Haru’s face warmed. 

Rin cleared his throat, his cheeks slightly red.  “What’s it look like?”  He gave a wave as he headed off.

Haru flushed with pleasure at Rin’s response, not minding at all that his hand became the object of his friends’ close-up scrutiny.

“It’s not metal,” Nagisa said, poking the ring on his finger.

“Oh, silicone!  That’s great for sports!”  Gou leaned in for a look next.  “There are tons of contact-sports where a real ring can cause injuries.  Though not so much swimming, I guess.”

“Really nasty injuries, too,” Mikan said.

“But with silicone rings you don’t have to worry about that and if you damage it or lose it, you just get a new one.  We recommend them to all of the married couples at school.”

“It’s…sturdier than pineapple,” Haru murmured.

Gou’s face lit; she threw her arms around him again.  “I’m so happy for both of you.  Our mom is too,” she whispered.

Haru relaxed, giving her a brief hug in return.  “Gou…”  He liked the way his family was growing.  Soon he’d have a sister and hopefully, someday, plenty of nieces and nephews too.

The loudspeaker crackled overhead, followed by Director Kaya’s voice.  _“It’s fifteen minutes to noon, everyone!  Time to start lining up!”_

The activity in the corridor increased tenfold, Haru drawing a breath and smiling to himself.  _Fifteen minutes until water time_.

-x-

“OK, last reminders everyone.”  Rin had a hand perched on his hip as he addressed the swimmers crammed into the hallway.  There was a mix of ages, middle-school and up, locals and those who’d flown in from around the country, though the largest contingents were from Koutei, Todai, Iwatobi, Samezuka, and Team Japan.  Everyone was stripped down to their swimsuits, swim caps on and goggles at the ready. 

Haru stood next to Rin at the head of the column, the double doors leading into the pool at their backs.   Sumida’s muffled voice came through the doors as she addressed the crowds in the bleachers, just moments prior to them heading out.

“The first hour’s easy enough, right?  Fifty meters—one lap down and back—and then head to the end of the line.  Any stroke is fine and exchanges don’t have to be flawless—just don’t run into anyone.  From the second hour on, don’t forget to signal when you get tired and mind the whistle—it always means head in.  Whatever happens, make sure the lane stays occupied.”  Rin paused, scanning the gathered swimmers.  He was 100% in Captain-mode and Haru loved it.  “Alright, questions?”

“Can we go now, Coach?”

Rin sighed.  “In a minute.  Calm down.”  He smiled.  “Remember, this is a relay, not a race.  We’re swimming _together_ —one team for one goal.”

The words echoed in Haru’s mind and heart as they shared a glance, Rin reaching for his hand before continuing. 

“…And that goal is clean, pure water—accessible and plentiful.  So that kids everywhere can be free to go to school and dream big dreams.  So they can get out into the world and see sights they’ve never seen before.”

 _Rin_ …  Haru felt another swell of warm emotion as he squeezed Rin’s hand and faced his teammates and friends.  Blinking away the moisture in his eyes, he bowed low.  “Thank you all for being here.  Let’s have fun swimming together today.  _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu_.”

“ _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!_ ”  “Haruka-senpai!”  “Nanase-kun!”

“Hush!  No yelling.”  Rin laughed.  “They’ll hear us out there.”

A knock came on the glass at just that moment, Director Kaya on the other side flashing both hands for the 10-second signal.

An excited rumble went through the swimmers.  Haru walked into Rin’s arms.

“Ready?” Rin asked, grinning at him.

Haru nodded, gazing at the one he loved.  “Ready.”

Director Kaya cracked the door, motioning for quiet.

“—And every six thousand meters, you’ll hear the bell.”  Sumida was on the stage with the microphone, facing the packed bleachers.  “Because that’s how far, on average, kids in the developing world walk to fetch water.  Over the next twenty-four hours, you’ll hear it often, I guarantee it.  It’s why we’re all here today—to take that six thousand meters down to zero.  With that, everyone, please join me in welcoming Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun, and the _Water is Life_ relay swimmers!  Let’s cheer them on and help them ring that bell!”

The crowd surged to their feet, the doors flung wide and music starting as Haru and Rin walked out to the pool, their friends and teammates forming six lines behind them, one for each lane.  There was thunderous applause, almost drowning out the music; Haru’s name and Rin’s were being shouted from the stands.  The bleachers were completely full, news crews and photographers lining the rail.  Gou, Mikan, and the other lap counters were in place beside the pool while Natsumaya—Maekawa’s fiancée—had the whistle.

Haru waved to the crowd and the cameras as he headed for lane four.  He propped one foot on the block, Rin beside him in lane three in matching _Water is Life_ jammers.  Their tiny college stadium was noisier than Rio, the energy as sharp as the scent of chlorine.  It was perfect.  With their friends at their back, the music pulsing, and the second hand on the pace clock swinging towards twelve, Haru stepped up and set his feet.  There would be no ‘quiet for the start’—the air crackled, the beat of the music thumping in time with his heart.

“ _Take your marks_.”

He lowered his goggles into place, hearing Rin snap the strap of his goggles as he did the same.  Haru grasped the edge of the block, sneaking a glance to the side and meeting Rin’s shark grin with a smile of his own.

“ _Count it down, everyone!  Three—two—one_ —”

Natsumaya blew the whistle as the clock hit noon; Haru sprung forward into streamline—

They plunged underwater at the same moment; already, Haru saw fireworks.  Director Kaya warned there’d be a lightshow.  Colored light beams roved the water, bending and shimmering beneath the surface.  Haru dolphin-kicked in time with Rin.  They came up together at fifteen meters—to the cheering, music, and flashing disco lights.  The thrill inside him was matched in Rin’s eyes as they breathed towards each other and flew towards the turn with long strokes of free. 

It wasn’t supposed to be a race, but it was anyways as they pushed off in unison, trading off the lead during the back fifteen underwater.  Haru broke through first as they surged towards the wall—

Makoto was on the block in his lane and Haru nearly flubbed a stroke, the emotion rising inside him.  He managed to rein it in, slapping tile as his best friend dove over him.  Momo dove into Rin’s lane, Koutei and Todai swimmers joining them in lanes one, two, five, and six.  Haru’s birthday wish was to swim in the Tokyo 2020 Olympics surrounded by their friends…  But _this_ , here and now, was so much more than he ever could have imagined.  He raked off his cap and goggles, clinging to the side of the pool as he briefly caught his breath.

_My dream is already happening._

A warm, wet arm snaked around his shoulders over the lane line.  Haru reached up, gripping Rin’s hand as he fought not to cry.

“Haru-chan!”  “Rin-senpai!”  Nagisa and Nitori were next in line for lanes four and three, offering hands down to them. 

They climbed out with their friends’ help and quickly got out of the way, accepting high-fives as they went.  Each column was at least twenty-five swimmers deep, meaning they wouldn’t be up again for twelve…maybe fifteen minutes.  Director Kaya intercepted them halfway down the line, shepherding them over to the media.  Alongside Sumida, they answered questions about the event and about their hopes for the water, almost having to shout to be heard over the cheering and music.  With Rin’s arm draped across his shoulders, it was the best Mixed Zone ever.

There was a surge of noise from the parents in attendance as Rin’s rowdy high schoolers took the blocks, followed shortly thereafter by the middle schoolers Makoto helped coach.

They were nine and a half minutes in when the bell rang for the first time—

“Cowbell.”  Rin sighed, smiling. 

The six kids who’d been in the pool at the time went running around the pool deck, shouting and yelling like they’d just won Olympic gold in the fifty meter free. 

Chuckling to themselves, Haru and Rin headed back towards the pool—

_“Senhor Haruka!”  “Senhor Rin!”_

Haru’s eyes blew wide.  He stopped short of the line, whirling towards the doors in disbelief.  “Gabriela—”

The Brazilian teen flung herself into his arms, clad in a _Water is Life_ one-piece practice suit, her curls stuffed under her swim cap and goggles on her brow.

Beside them, Rin dropped to one knee, exhaling hard as he hugged the younger boy.  “João—”

Haru blinked, hardly breathing as he struggled to find words—in English at that.  _“Gabriela, how…?  When…?”_

A long string of exuberant Portuguese followed, Haru not catching any of it.

_“She explained the whole thing in about a hundred words.  Not even I can translate that fast.”_

_“Senhora Marcela.”_   Haru reached for the woman’s hand.

Her smile was like the sun in Rio, credentials hanging around her neck over her sweater, as she warmly clasped his hand.  _“Olá, Senhor Haruka, Senhor Rin.  I promise to help them relay the whole story…as soon as they calm down.”_

_“Podemos nadar juntos, Senhor Rin?”_

_“Vamos nadar, Senhor Haruka!”_

The kids were pulling them toward the pool and Haru was still too stunned to protest.  The four of them got in the same line, Gabriela and João chattering non-stop in Portuguese.  The only bits Haru caught of the whole thing were the swimming terms— _livre_ , _relé_ , and IM.

“Think they’re talking about your drunken IM swim-off?” Rin asked.

Haru’s face heated.  “I hope not.”  Gabriela had latched onto Haru’s hand and didn’t seem interested in letting go anytime soon, while João was glowing with Rin’s hand resting on his shoulder.

When they got to the front of the line on lane four, Haru led off, swimming freestyle to Gabriela.  She took over at the exchange, swimming fly for the first 25m and backstroke for the second.  João swam breaststroke and free for his leg, Rin rounding out their mini-relay with another 50m of free.  As soon as Rin was out of the pool, the kids were tugging them to the end of the line and Haru’s heart had never been so full.

-x-

The cowbell rang five times during the sprinters’ hour, the mid-distance swimmers taking over at 1PM to relax the pace a little with six lanes going at 1500m each.  The marathon swimmers would be up at 2PM; after that each team had signed up for an hour.  The middle schoolers Makoto helped coach would swim at 3PM, followed by Rin’s high school team at 4PM.  Iwatobi and Samezuka had 5PM and 6PM, respectively.  Other local high schools would fill in the time starting at 7PM, with the Koutei team scheduled to lead off the college aged-groups at 10PM.    

With a short rest break, Haru and Rin made a picnic of it with Gabriela, João, and Marcela, their blanket spread out in the crowded corridor adjacent to the pool.

Marcela did her best to keep up with Gabriela’s nonstop stream of words.

_“We saw your interview—they put it on the website with Portuguese subtitles—so we heard about the water for kids and the relay.  We wanted to help!”_

João spoke up shyly, Marcela translating as he blushed and beamed, sitting next to Rin.  _“The whole team wanted to.  We’ve been working odd jobs and saving up as much as we could, ever since.”_

 _“Then my mom called Senhora Moriko, who sent us the nice pictures, and that same day Senhora Naoko called!”_   Gabriela grabbed Marcela’s sleeve, the two of them speaking rapidly in Portuguese for a moment.

 _“I get to tell this part,”_ Marcela said, mirth bright in her eyes.  _“I helped the kids send in the money.  Senhora, ah, Director Naoko said she would talk with her superiors about some way to commemorate the donation.  But we never expected plane tickets!”_  

 _“Minha primeira viagem de avião!”_   Gabriela’s eyes were wide with excitement.

“ _Foi tão legal_.”  João looked awed.

 _“They’re talking about the plane ride,”_ Marcela said.  _“The short of it is, after several lengthy conversations with Director Naoko and Senhora Kaede, we arrived very late last night—not that you can tell from these two—and we head back on Monday afternoon.”_

“ _But_ …”  Haru pressed his lips.  He couldn’t help thinking of the water tanks on Rocinha’s roofs, of the needs right there in the _favela_ …  _“What about the water in Rocinha?”_

Marcela translated his question.

The kids blinked at him.  João responded first, followed by Gabriela, Marcela relaying each reply.

 _“We always have enough._ ”

_“If we run out, we just go next door.  We don’t have to walk six kilometers to get water.”_

_“Seis quilômetros é muito longe!”_ João said.

_“He says six kilometers is a lot.”_

Haru’s eyes stung.  He sniffed hard and bowed his head low, overcome.  “Thank you for everything you’ve done.  From the bottom of my heart, I…”  His words (in Japanese) faltered as the tears welled up.

Rin had to translate for him.

-x-

The hours ticked by, the 6km bell count steadily rising.  Their corporate donors had pledged by the meter, but individual donations were welcomed as well, not to mention proceeds from the merchandise sales, snack booths, Team Japan autograph and photo sessions, and other activities.  There were games and karaoke for the kids until 10PM.  After that, well…  The kids and the news crews went home and the college-aged crowd didn’t need alcohol to get rowdy. 

At midnight, the Todai and Koutei rugby teams were cat-walking in their underwear alongside the pool and Gou had organized a muscle contest.  The local field hockey teams were running karaoke battles and dance-offs.  The main event, though, was not on any of the posted signs.  Haru did endless 2x200m legs with Rin, waiting to see if—at 1AM—he and Rin would be singing Katy Perry in their underwear.  (Was there any wonder why the coaches weren’t swimming until 6AM?)

Mikoshiba spelled them for the last ten minutes of the hour, letting them get a breather and some water while crowds gathered around the stage.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Rin muttered as they headed across the hall to the meeting room in their jammers, clutching water bottles, to find out the results.

“It’s for charity, Rin.”

Rin glared at him mildly as he got the door.

It opened before Haru turned the knob, Konishi nearly running into them. 

“Oh, Nanase, Matsuoka.  Here you are.”  She had a tablet in hand, her chin-length black hair still damp from the pool.

“Guess we should start getting ready, huh?”  Rin grimaced.

“Actually, no.  You guys are off the hook.”

“What?”

“Haru, Rin…”  Makoto came out of the room as well, smiling at them.  “ _Otsukare_.”

Haru wasn’t sure how Makoto had ended up on the organizing committee for this event, but then again, the upperclassmen often roped him into things.  Makoto was too dependable for his own good.

“Wait, I don’t get it.”  Rin folded his arms.  “If _we_ didn’t—”

Konishi laughed.  “Sorry to bruise your ego, Matsuoka.  I wish I could say it was a close race, but it really wasn’t.”

Rin exhaled, looking irritated as he glanced aside.

 _You said you didn’t wanna do it anyway_.  Haru shrugged, drinking from his water bottle.

Konishi showed them a bar chart on her tablet.  There were modest donation bars associated with the various acts— _Rin and Haru sing Katy Perry_ , _Yumiko sings Taylor Swift_ , _Takuya sings Rick Astley_ (there was a slight dip there), and _Todai Rugby sings One Direction_.  Far and away, however, one bar was ten, twenty times the amount of the others.  Rin leaned in, blocking Haru from seeing the label.

“What the fuck?  _‘Sousuke sings Britney’_?”

Haru choked, accidentally spraying water all over Rin’s shoulder.  He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, tilting his head to Rin in a silent apology.

Rin didn’t react much, just quirking a brow at him.

“I’m going back to the pool,” Haru murmured, turning away from the door.

Makoto caught his arm.  “Haru-chan, you need to be supportive.”

“Sousuke doesn’t need help with that.”

“I didn’t mean for him.  It’s gonna be Rin’s first time.”

“The hell does that mean!?”  Rin looked legitimately worried now.

Haru sighed.  “ _Fine_.” 

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?!”

-x-

A different Tokyo college had the 1AM time slot, leaving the Koutei and Todai crews free to spectate the main event.  They were outnumbered, though.  The pool deck was packed with women (and a respectable number of men)—all college-aged and up, surrounding the stage.

“I thought _we_ were popular,” Rin muttered, the bitterness evident in his voice as they stood on the edge of the crowd with Makoto.

“You guys _are_ popular,” Makoto said.  “But you don’t model underwear for a major international brand.”

“ _Tch_.”

The DJ’s last song faded, white spotlights focusing on the center of the stage.  Konishi was there with a microphone, having changed into a one-piece black swimsuit with geometric cutouts.  “Ladies and gentlemen, the event you’ve all been waiting for…”  The fog machine was going, curling around the base of the stage and making everything glow.  “Please welcome Todai’s finest—Yamazaki Sousuke!”

The cheering (squealing) was deafening, the lights cutting out as the song started up—a familiar beat and shrill string riffs.  Haru still wasn’t recovered from the last time he saw this act, a year ago.

Ten seconds in, the lights came back on, the stage suddenly so dazzling and bright that Haru flinched.  Of course, it wasn’t the stage that was blinding, it was Sousuke…clad in a sheer (very sheer) body stocking studded with gleaming crystals and skin-tight Calvin Klein underwear in white sateen.  –All muscle and shine and very little imagination required.

Rin’s jaw dropped; he made a noise that was drowned out by the screaming all around them as Sousuke turned toward the audience, microphone in hand.

“ _Baby, can’t you see?  I’m calling.  A guy like you should wear a warning.  It’s dangerous…I’m falling._ ”

Sousuke had a good voice—there was no debating that.  And his English, at least for this song, was practiced and flawless. 

_“There’s no escape.  I can’t wait.  I need a hit, baby give me it.  You’re dangerous…”_

…There was something about watching Sousuke gyrate on stage, running a hand suggestively (way more than suggestively, actually) across his abdomen and down his thigh…these were sights Haru saw that he couldn’t unsee, no matter how hard he tried.

Konishi, Takara, and a few other Todai and Koutei women (all in the same black swimsuits) sang backup for the first part of the chorus.  “ _Too high, can’t come down.  Losing my head, spinning round and round_ …”

The rest was all Sousuke.  “ _The taste of your lips, I’m on a ride.  You’re toxic I’m slipping under_ …”  The grimace on his face was adult-film worthy (not that Haru had ever seen an adult film…other than one time, accidentally).  “ _With a taste of a poison paradise.  I’m addicted to you—don’t you know that you’re toxic?_ ”

Rin, beside him, was still not blinking.  Taking pity, Haru poked him in the arm.

Rin snapped out of it, coughing.  “Oh dear God, what am I watching?”

“It’s kind of…mesmerizing, isn’t it?” Makoto said.

“Like…I want to look away, but I can’t.  I don’t even know how to describe—”

“I call it losing your karaoke virginity,” Haru said.

Rin winced.  “Yep.  That’s about right.”

“Yep,” Makoto said.

About that time, they noticed Momo sitting on the pool deck in front of them, munching on something.

“Momo, what are you eating?” Rin asked.

Momo held up a loaf of bread.  “I found this in Yamazaki-senpai’s bag!”

“Don’t fucking eat that!”

“…The loaf’s probably safe, Rin,” Haru said as Rin swiped the package from Momo’s hands.  “It’s not like he’s gonna put it back, after—”

“Doesn’t matter!”

* * *

Sunday, November 27th, 2016

* * *

The clock on the wall read 4:37AM.  Haru was supposed to be asleep, but he wasn’t, sitting up in his sleeping bag with his stuffed shark cradled in his arms.  Nagisa’s head was heavy on his shoulder, the blonde drooling on Haru’s warmup jacket, though he didn’t mind.  Nagisa seemed comfortable and Haru was glad.  They were in the third row of the bleachers, Rei sound asleep with a red mask over his eyes beside them.  All the spectators had gone home; it was just the swimmers and the die-hard supporters now, napping here and there to make it through the night.

It was still two hours before sunrise, a light rain falling against the windows.  The pool was well-lit and with the music on break, there was just the sound of limbs slapping the water, the encouragement of the lap counters, and the 6000m cowbell.

Makoto, Gou, and Mikan were sleeping in the row behind them.  Momo was one row below, sprawled out on top of his sleeping bag and blanket in sea otter pajamas, with his sea otter plush resting on his stomach.  Sousuke was poolside with Takara, Kawamura, Mikoshiba, and Nitori, filling in as a lap counter while Gou and Mikan slept.  For a while, Rin had been off sleeping in the coaches’ lounge where it was quieter, but that was only until Sugiyama paid them a surprise visit for the 4AM hour.  Now Rin was at the pool, lined up one lane over from his rival-slash-childhood idol.  It was cute.  The two didn’t really talk, but every time Rin looked at Sugiyama, Haru could see an echo of the starry-eyed kid he used to be, with Sugiyama’s posters on his bedroom wall.

Neither Takara nor Mikoshiba had left the pool in hours, except for Red Bull breaks.  There was also hot tea service and toasted _onigiri_ for sale, members of Koutei’s field hockey team running the kiosk at the edge of the bleachers.

Haru _was_ tired, but he couldn’t manage to keep his eyes closed—not while the meter count ticked up, one lap at a time, and his friends and teammates kept all six lanes going.  Part of him still couldn’t believe this was happening, from where he’d been in May—as crushed and helpless as he’d felt then—to the _hope_ he had now…  It was all thanks to his friends, to Captain Ikehara who’d encouraged him and planted the initial seed, to their sponsors who’d listened and connected them to the right people.  Rin had been there every step of the way, from that first hug in the shower at the NTC that told Haru he wasn’t alone.  _I never would’ve been brave enough to try without you_.  Haru hugged the stuffed shark closer, feeling the silicone ring on his finger against the fuzzy surface of the toy.  The emotion was hitting him often tonight, and he knew fatigue was a factor, but he couldn’t help feeling loved—by Rin, by his friends, by everyone…  His heart was overflowing.

“Haru-chan, let’s swim a relay…”  Nagisa was talking in his sleep again.  He yawned and went back to snoring lightly.

Haru smiled at his friend.  _As soon as you wake up, Nagisa._

-x-

Everyone got their second wind during the 6AM Coaches’ hour as Fujino, Maekawa, and Akagi took a lane alongside the rest of the Koutei and Todai coaching staff.  Assistant Coaches were swimming as well, Rin and Makoto sharing lane one with a few others as their middle-schoolers and high-schoolers cheered (heckled) them on.  The bleachers filled in steadily, news crews and photographers returning prior to the Team Japan hour at 7AM.  Haru joined Rin in the pool, sharing a lane with him, Captain Ikehara, Momo, Takara, and Mikoshiba while Captain Ikehara’s wife and daughter watched from the stands. 

The well-rested, impossibly energetic high school and younger crowd had the pool from 8-11AM. 

Gabriela and João were back, both clutching pieces of paper.  “ _Ohayou gozaimasu!_ ”

Haru arched a brow.  “ _Ohayou gozaimasu_ ,” he said in unison with Rin, as they bowed to return the greeting.

“ _They’ve been practicing all night_ ,” Marcela said.

João drew a breath.  “ _Ashita, Tokyo Disneyland ni ikimasu_.”

Gabriela was bouncing around, barely looking at her paper.  “ _Haruka-san, Rin-san…  Isshoni ikimasenka?_ ”

Haru smiled, exchanging a warm glance with Rin.  “ _Zehi ikimasu_.”  As the kids blinked at him, he switched languages.  “ _Sim.  Let’s go together_.”

Gabriela shrieked and leapt into his arms, João lighting up with the brightest grin.  They sent the excitable kids off in Makoto’s direction as the middle-schoolers lined up behind the blocks. 

Rin draped an arm across his shoulders.  “You can manage the noise and crowds for a day?”

“I can manage anything for them.”

Rin smiled.  “Me too.”

-x-

For the final hour, 11AM to noon, they were back to sprinting hard.  The stands were packed with cheering spectators and swimmers as Team Japan and everyone who could do a breathless or single-breath short-course fifty, took to the pool.  Each fifty meters was twenty to twenty-five seconds; across six lanes, they racked up 6000m in just under eight and a half minutes.

Haru’s lungs were burning, his muscles on fire as he stepped up to the block on lane four at 11:59:30AM.  But he knew he was good for one more run.  Rin was beside him on the block for lane three as the swimmers in their lanes made the turn and came back to the start—

Haru lowered his goggles into place, breathing the way Rin taught him as he set his feet and bent into position.  As Sada touched the wall, Haru dove, the cowbell sounding for the seventh time that hour.  He plunged underwater, staying submerged for the full fifteen before surging to the surface.  Haru kept his head down, feeling Rin beside him—

They were neck-in-neck on the back twenty-five when he heard the whistle, calling them home.  Haru pulled out everything he had left, racing to the wall until there was tile against his palm.   He popped up, raking in one breath after another in a stadium roaring with shouts and cheers.  Rin looked just as dead as he felt, limply pulling off his cap and goggles with an arm slung over the lane line.

Haru didn’t have the energy to climb out by the blocks.  They swam to the side and even then, their teammates had to help them haul themselves from the water.  Haru collapsed onto his back, breathing hard and staring up at the lights in the ceiling and the sun just breaking through the clouds above the glass…

Director Kaya and Sumida were on stage with the microphones.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the final meter count is five hundred and seventy _thousand_ , one hundred twenty-five.”

Haru craned his neck towards the board, blinking in disbelief.  570,125 meters…

Rin, laid out on the tile next to him, gave him the same look of shock.

“As for the total donation amount…” 

“I’ve double- and triple-checked the calculations,” Director Kaya said.  “Is everybody ready?  It’s going on the board!”

The crowd screamed, Haru’s eyes going wide as he took in the eight-digit number that started with a seven.  _We raised 71 million yen?_   Was it good?  Was it enough?  He had no idea. 

“Nanase-kun, Matsuoka-kun…  Everyone, I…  On behalf of—”  Sumida was crying on the stage, the rest of her words lost to tears.

Warmth gathered in Haru’s eyes too.  He relaxed against the pool deck, smiling as he continued to catch his breath.  Though he could barely move, he managed to stretch out his arm—

Rin caught his hand, smiling back tiredly, his chest heaving as he breathed.

 _Thank you, everyone_.  He’d say it out loud as soon as he could talk again.  For now, Haru squeezed Rin’s fingers, his heart overwhelmed by love and hope, and the certainty that God had heard his prayer.

* * *

Wednesday, November 30th, 2016

* * *

Next to the Matsuoka mailbox, Haru slid the familiar _shoji_ panel aside, just like he’d done a hundred times when they were kids.  In the courtyard beyond, neatly-raked piles of golden leaves sat beneath the trees.  Nearby, covered planters waited for spring—for flowers, herbs, and vegetables.  Haru crossed the courtyard for the front door and rang the bell, the afternoon cool and cloudy.

The cat was the first one to greet him, trotting over from the side of the house to wind in figure-eight’s between Haru’s shoes and rub against his pantlegs.  Haru smiled, bending down to give the round cat a quick scratch behind the ears.  “ _Konnichiwa_.” 

The cat purred heartily in reply, pressing against Haru’s hand.

Haru heard light footfalls then, straightening as Miyako opened the door.

“Haruka!”  Her eyes betrayed her surprise for a moment at most before she smiled at him.  She wore a cream knit sweater and herringbone trousers in lilac gray, her feet encased in thick, woolen socks.  Reading glasses were perched on her nose, which she removed and tucked into the neck of her sweater.  “I thought it was odd—Gou calling out of the blue to ask if I’d be home.  Where’s…?”  Her brow furrowed in puzzlement as she looked past him, not finding Rin.

“It’s…just me today, Auntie Miya.”  Rin didn’t know he was here, doing this—that he’d made the flight from Tokyo on a random Wednesday, taking advantage of Rin being out for the day.  Haru would’ve liked to arrange things in advance and not show up unannounced like this, but they were due to leave for Windsor, Canada, this coming Saturday and with Sydney shortly thereafter…

Haru drew a breath and gathered his courage, bowing from the waist.  He switched to his most formal Japanese.  “There is a matter I would like to discuss with you and Matsuoka-san.”

His words hung in the air, his heart starting to pound in his chest, even though the nerves made no rational sense.  He’d known Miyako since he and Rin were kids having sleepovers after swim practice and raiding the kitchen for midnight _saba_.

“Haruka…”  Miyako’s voice wavered, Haru lifting his head to the moisture gleaming in her ruby eyes.  She stood aside, motioning with a gentle hand.  “Please come in.”

-x-

The _tatami_ had give, flexing the slightest bit as Haru sank to his knees in front of the shrine.  A tendril of sweet-smelling smoke coiled up from the incense he’d lit, the bowl in front of the old photo he’d seen before…but Haru felt like he was seeing it with new eyes now, after hearing so many of Rin’s stories, after the tears and the smiles, the pictures and timesheets and dreams finally fulfilled.  _I wish I could have met you._

Haru bowed his head, his hands resting on his knees.  “My name is Nanase Haruka.  Matsuoka-san, I am…in love with your son, Rin.”  He paused, exhaling lightly, but the weighty and solemn words weren’t as hard as he thought they would be.  His nerves eased as he spoke the truth from his heart.  “I want to propose—I want to ask Rin to marry me.  I want to have a family with him.  I want to spend my life as Rin’s husband, making him happy.”

The temporary ring on Haru’s finger silently encouraged him as he lifted his gaze to the man in the photo with Rin’s eyes and smile.  “I know—we know—that it won’t be easy, but my promise is for forever, no matter what.  We’ll dream together and see those dreams through to the end, wherever life takes us.”  _Whether that’s close by or far away…_   “My promise is for this family, too.  For Gou-san and Miyako-san.  I promise to be a good brother and a good son.  Rin and I will make sure your wife and daughter are always taken care of, so you don’t have to worry.”

 _We won’t do family half-way._   The words came to him in Rin’s voice, with Rin’s determination.

Haru’s thoughts lingered there—on Rin, drifting naturally to Rin’s smile, to all the brightness and color Rin had brought to his life, to the way his world had exploded from that first relay challenge and promise— _If you swim with me, I’ll show you a sight you’ve never seen before._

“I feel like I’ll never be able to give back enough for all that he’s given me.  But I will try.  I’ll bring all that I have and all that I am to him.  For the rest, I’ll rely on God, too.”  Haru bowed again, deeply.  “So please accept me, Matsuoka-san.  _Yoroshiku onegaishimasu._ ”

He waited for a moment or two in the quiet stillness, breathing the sweet incense and feeling peace in his heart for what he’d said.  He knew nothing could ever erase the pain Rin felt over his father’s loss—the man who had been the center of his world for so long—but Haru wanted a _lifetime_ of smiles for Rin.  Whatever he could do and would do towards that goal, he knew he’d never regret it. 

Eventually he straightened, rising first to his knees and then to his feet—

The sudden hug nearly knocked him off balance.  Haru managed to stay upright, though he was too surprised to breathe.

Miyako’s tears soaked into his sweater.  “I prayed for so many years since Toraichi died—to see Rin smile again.  To see him finally _let go_.”

Haru drew an unsteady breath.  _Rin…_

She leaned back, her eyes reddened from crying as she reached up and cupped his face between soft palms.  “You’re everything I ever wanted for him, and so much more.  You have our blessing, Haruka.  You _are_ the blessing we hoped for.”

“Miyako-san…”  Haru swallowed hard, staggered by her words, by the love and acceptance that circled him and settled deep in his heart.

“Don’t get formal on me!”  She laughed, hugging him again.  “We’re family, you know.  Call me ‘Auntie’ as always.  Or—” Miyako smiled up at him, her gaze dancing with mirth and delight.  “‘Mom’s OK, too.”

Moisture warmed Haru’s eyes.  “ _Hai_.”

-x-

His plane was delayed leaving Tottori Prefecture, Haru texting Rin from the gate as he waited.  _[Sorry, I’ll be back later than I thought.]_

Rin’s reply came a minute later.  _[It’s OK, Haru.  If I’m already in bed, wake me when you get here.]_

…It was raining and after 11PM by the time Haru emerged from the underground at Hakusan station.  He zipped up his jacket but didn’t bother with an umbrella.  Given the hours he’d spent traveling today, he hadn’t gotten to swim.  The rain, dripping through his hair and wetting his shoulders would have to suffice.  There were fewer cars this time of night as Haru crossed _Hongo Dori_ on his way home, but the city surrounding Koutei and Todai never really slept.

In the glow of the street lights and gleaming concrete, he kept a decent pace towards their building.  Haru ducked into the lobby, wiping off his shoes and shaking the rain droplets from his coat before heading upstairs. 

Their apartment was quiet, though Rin had left the entryway light on for him.  There was a paper bag folded and tied with string next to their shoes—recycling waiting to go out for Thursday pickup.  Haru fished his airplane ticket stubs from his pocket, pushing the string out of the way so he could slide the papers inside.  As he folded the bag again, he thought he caught a glimpse of an ANA ticket with Sapporo’s airport code…

 _Oh, from when my parents were here, during the Asian Championships_.

Haru fixed the string and put the bag back; he’d take it to the collection area on his way to campus tomorrow morning.  Stepping out of his shoes next to Rin’s, Haru hung his coat to dry.  He flicked the lights off on his way upstairs. 

The door to their bedroom was closed, Haru keeping the noise to a minimum as he washed up in the bathroom and got ready for bed.  He left his clothes in the laundry hamper, slipping into the bedroom in his underwear.

The lamps were out, but there was enough silvery light filtering in through the curtains to see by.  Haru padded silently to his side of the bed, drawing the covers back and easing in…

“Nn.”  Rin stirred, as light a sleeper as usual.  “You’re late.”

Haru smiled, stretching out beneath the covers and scooting towards the center of the bed.  “ _Tadaima_ , Rin.”

Rin grunted and rolled over, meeting him in a warm clash of limbs.  “ _Okaeri_ ,” Rin murmured, yawning into Haru’s hair.  He was out again almost immediately, his body relaxing against Haru’s as their hands found each other’s by feel.

Haru drew a long, deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of Rin and chlorine that meant he was home.  He cradled Rin’s hand against his chest, over his heart.  _For forever, Rin._   “Love you,” he whispered.

The arm around Haru tightened.  Rin’s sleepy, “ _Love you too_ ,” was the most beautiful sound in the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [Mystik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystik/pseuds/Mystik) for the Portuguese corrections!!
> 
> ["Water is Life" swimsuit inspiration (upper right)](http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/tobiuojapan/imgs/6/f/6f8b7384.jpg)
> 
> Silicone rings based on Enso's [Elements](https://ensorings.com/elements-collection/) collection.


	43. Fireworks over water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Teen version](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12065032/43/In-pursuit-of-Olympic-dreams) on ff.net

* * *

Friday, December 23rd, 2016

* * *

“ _This is the place, guys!  Make yourselves at home_.”  Ty grinned as he unlocked the door, letting them into the apartment.

Rin stood aside, allowing Haru to go first.  He managed to stifle the rising yawn, having dozed a little on the way from the airport out to Bondi Beach, courtesy of Haru’s shoulder and Ty driving like a normal person for once.  The strap of his backpack started to slip off, Rin flicking it back into place as Haru followed Ty into the hallway, rolling his small blue suitcase over the threshold. 

“ _Bedroom, bathroom_.”  Ty pointed through open doorways as he disappeared further into the apartment. 

The white hallway, decorated with panoramic pictures of Bondi Beach and topographic maps of the bay, led into a sun-drenched main room with the kitchen on the right, the small dining room table in the center, and the living space on the left.  Rin heard Haru’s soft intake of breath as he looked out north and east windows with the blue Pacific _right there_.  It made the nine-hour red-eye flight—plus the transit on either side and the sleep-deprivation—100% worth it. 

The Bingham’s unit was on the top floor of the brick apartment building, facing the ocean with unobstructed views.  The living area had a sofa, TV, and a daybed right below the windows with knit blankets in gray and seafoam blue.  Haru left his suitcase and messenger bag on the floor by the bed and immediately headed through the sliding glass door beyond the table to get to the balcony. 

“ _He approves, yeah?_ ” Ty asked, a knowing smile on his face as Haru stood against the rail outside.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Rin said, smiling despite his fatigue.

Ty moved into the kitchen, opening the fridge.  “ _Mum got you guys some nice steaks and fresh mackerel as an early Chrissie present_.”  Rin caught a glimpse of the packages inside.  “ _And there’s plenty of LPG for the barbie_.”  Ty nodded towards the grill on the balcony.  “ _Help yourselves to anything else and you know where the market is_.”

“ _I remember_.”  Rin rolled his suitcase next to Haru’s, setting his backpack beside.  “ _Ty, tell your parents thanks.  I wish they’d let us_ —”

“ _Still yabbering about that?_ ”  Ty rolled his eyes, smiling fondly.  “ _They’d much rather have you guys visit than someone who might trash the place.  Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do_.”

Rin quirked a brow, reminded of house parties and drunken bashes…  “ _Well, that won’t be hard_.”

“ _Ouch_.”  Ty laughed.  “ _You’re such an ass when you’re tired, Rin.  I’m surprised you’re still vertical at all, but I bet Haruka can help you with that_.”

“ _Oi_ …”  Rin’s face heated.

Ty tossed him the keys, which Rin bobbled but managed to catch.  “ _Anything else, just give me a call.  I’ll see you guys in a week._ ”

“ _Thanks again for the ride_.” 

“ _Hey, you got me an extra day without the rellies.  I love them but, you know_.”  They bumped fists.  “ _Merry Christmas_.”

“ _Merry Christmas_.”  Rin waved as his friend headed down the hall and out the door, leaving them alone.

Stuffing the keys into the pocket of his trousers, Rin headed outside.  A privacy wall on the right separated their balcony from the unit next door, the grill set against the wall.  A round table with two chairs was nearest the doors while rows of market lights (off at the moment) were strung overhead from the building to the corner of the balcony.  There were a few clouds, but it was mostly sun and the endless blue of the sea, the air salty.  To the left, they could see Bondi Beach in its entirety—the golden crescent of sand with the waves rolling in—all the way to the northern shore.

Haru was taking everything in silently, one hand gripping the rail, as if he could memorize the view just by looking (which, maybe he could).

Voices and laughter drifted up from below, Rin’s gaze drawn down toward the shore in front of the building, dense green shrubs giving way to a rocky coastline.

“There’s a path?” Haru asked, leaning over the rail beside him.

“It’s the Bondi to Coogee walk, connecting five beaches.  Takes around two hours.  It’s about, ah…”  Rin pursed his lips.  “Six kilometers.”

Haru looked at him, his blue eyes soft, the gentle breeze sifting through his black hair and across his polo shirt.  “We can do it one of the days we’re here?”

“Yeah.  ‘Course.”

Haru smiled, sliding close…  Rin welcomed the embrace, warm lips meeting his, Haru’s hands lightly grasping his waist through his shirt, reveling in the privacy they hadn’t had in hours.  They were finally on vacation—no coaches’ sets, no sponsors’ meetings, no coursework…  Rin purposely didn’t dwell on a week without gym time, figuring they’d stay active enough with walking about, swimming, and—

As Haru deepened the kiss, Rin couldn’t help a quiet sound of pleasure, their tongues playing briefly before Haru pulled away.

“You need a nap, Rin,” Haru murmured, reading his face.

He did need a nap, but there was no way he wanted to miss a second of the ocean sparkling in Haru’s eyes or the energy and eagerness he felt in Haru’s limbs.  “I can rally.”  It wasn’t even 11AM yet; he’d nap after lunch.  “What do you want to—”

“Take me swimming.”

Rin snorted, grinning as he wound arms around Haru’s shoulders and pulled him inside.

-x-

A long staircase led from the apartment building down to the paved walkway, a metal rail separating them from the rocky shore.  From there, it was only five minutes around Hunter Sculpture Park—where Rin figured they’d be spending time at some point—and onto Notts Avenue.  They bypassed the upper entrance of Icebergs Club, heading straight for the ramp down to the pool.  Haru pulled up short against the white railing, gasping as he got his first look at the two pools—the 50m pool and the smaller one, arranged in an L-shape, with the waves crashing right up against the rocks and spilling into the shimmering, turquoise water. 

Rin savored every bit of Haru’s reaction, especially the way he swallowed hard, tugging at the neck of his T-shirt.  _I knew you’d love this place_.  “Come on.”  He grabbed Haru’s hand, drawing him down the ramp.  At the gate, Rin paid their fee—$7 each—while Haru was mute and almost quivering, as if it was taking all of his self-control not to leap the gate and sprint down to the water.

Haru managed to behave until they got to the steps leading to the pool.  Then his clothes went flying, Rin left to pick up the debris as Haru dashed across the white pool deck in a skimpy _Water is Life_ speedo and dove in.  Chuckling, Rin grabbed Haru’s discarded clothes and picked out a spot to lay their towels on the tall steps of white stone that bordered the 50m pool.

When Rin looked up again, Haru was already in lane one, closest to the ocean, bobbing near the edge while sea foam rained on his head.  Rin stripped down to his matching, but slightly more modest _Water is Life_ square leg suit and grabbed his goggles.  He followed the strip of white concrete that separated the 50m pool from the smaller one, turning ninety degrees and heading out across the lane markers, careful not to run into anyone lounging on the side.  The ropes were only every other lane, Rin settling his goggles into place and snapping the strap before diving in, dolphin-kicking through chlorine and saltwater before popping up at Haru’s side.

Haru had his eyes closed, his radiant, blissed out face upturned towards the sea salt spray that pelted his head and shoulders and ran down his chest.  Until now, that look had been reserved for the privacy of their bedroom, which made Rin cock a brow and clear his throat audibly as he hung onto the side of the pool.

“Should I leave you two alone?”  The question came out with plenty of salt—more than what he tasted on the air or on his lips.

“Don’t be jealous, Rin.”

 _Stop enjoying it so much and I won’t have to be_.

Another wave crashed over their heads, cool and invigorating.  Rin wiped his face, pushing hair off his goggles.

Haru shook the water from his head, fixing Rin with eyes several shades bluer than the pool or the sea.  “This is the best water you’ve ever shown me.”  His gaze trailed across Rin’s skin in a way that left no doubt as to what was on his mind.  “It’s even better now.”

Haru’s words evoked a warm rush of pleasure, unhindered by Rin’s fatigue.  “ _Tch_ , Haru.”  He grunted, splashing his lover in the face.  “I’m gonna do some laps.”

“I’ll come with you.”  Haru’s smile melted all of Rin’s annoyance in an instant. 

-x-

They took a break around lunch time, munching on toast with smoked trout, marinated feta, and arugula at the café adjacent to the pool.  After, despite Rin’s best efforts to make Haru rest and digest, he was back in the pool, lazing around in the water.  Rin gave up and donned his shades, stretching out in the sun.

…He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep until Haru shook him awake, blocking the sunlight and dripping on him.

“Rin, let’s head back.”

“ _Nn_ …”  He got up and got dressed.  The whole way back, he was irritable and tired.

The fatigue had him in and out; Rin wasn’t fully there until Haru was helping him undress and laying him down on the daybed in the main room.  Drowsy kisses followed, Haru tasting like sea salt and chlorine.  It was sweet torture—Haru’s naked skin against his own when he was too sleepy to take advantage. 

“Don’t let me nap too long,” Rin murmured, closing his eyes as the warmth of Haru’s embrace dragged him under.

“I won’t,” Haru whispered into his hair.

-x-

The sun was still high when Rin groggily pulled himself from slumber and trudged off to the bathroom.  He came back scrubbing a hand through hair that was still stiff with chlorine and salt since they hadn’t showered after returning from the pool.  Haru was curled up in a chair by the windows, beside the daybed.  He was nestled in the blue blanket he always brought whenever they traveled, a sketchbook open in his lap and his pencil case on the windowsill. 

Judging from the amount of exposed skin visible…  Rin lifted a brow, the last vestiges of fatigue fleeing him the same instant.  “You’re naked under there?”

Haru glanced up at him.  “I didn’t see any point in putting on clothes.”  Haru’s eyes roved slowly over Rin’s body, heat rushing to gather in those places where Haru’s gaze lingered.  He closed the sketchbook, shifting in the chair to set it on the windowsill, the blanket falling away from one bronzed thigh.  “Going back to sleep, Rin?” he asked, his voice a low tease, the pull magnetic.

Rin’s heart was already beating faster, his body warmed with desire.  “I’ve slept enough,” he murmured, climbing onto the chair and into Haru’s arms, his knee denting the corner of the cushion.  Haru’s face was upturned for his kiss, Rin falling against soft lips that immediately granted him entrance.  As their tongues played in the wetness of their mouths, Rin wrapped his arms around Haru’s shoulders, letting more of his weight settle across Haru’s thighs.  Hands on his waist eased him closer—

Rin’s shiver and groan were mirrored by Haru’s once they were pressed tight, skin-to-skin.  Feeling Haru’s arousal against him was enough to get Rin caught up.  He broke from Haru’s lips for air, reaching down to tug an offending fold of blanket out of the way.

“What were you drawing?” he asked, one brow cocked as he raked fingers through Haru’s hair and nipped along Haru’s jawline.

A breathy sigh fell from his lover’s lips.  “I wouldn’t draw you naked without your permission.”  Haru’s fingers traced the mountains and valleys of his spine, finding those sweet pressure points that made Rin inhale.  “I was only _thinking_ of making love with you.”

Pleasure lashed through him.  Rin grunted against Haru’s skin, rolling his hips in lieu of glaring.  He took revenge in Haru’s sharp intake of breath, doing it twice more before capturing Haru’s mouth for another kiss.

It was slow at first—hands wandering across muscle, their hips rocking together, deep pushes of tongue.  But the pleasures and heat were building, fingertips starting to dig, hands sliding to grip and tease, air becoming scarce—

Rin’s breath was coming in hard puffs when Haru reached down, snagging the strap of his messenger bag.  He pulled a small zippered case free—blue and nondescript.

“I’m not sure I’m up for—”

“We can take it easy, Rin.”

“Mm.”  Rin ducked against his lover’s neck as Haru popped the cap on the lubricant, worrying the skin there with his teeth and savoring Haru’s choked gasp.

But he lost his mind as warm, slick fingers surrounded him, groaning against Haru’s throat.  Haru trapped them both in his grasp; Rin chasing his fleeting sanity as he braced one hand on the arm of the chair for leverage and started to move, working up to glides that had them shuddering together.  The bliss on Haru’s flushed face was better than at the pool.  They kissed between rough breaths, sharing the same moist air, Rin’s impatience growing the closer they got.

The temptation to continue—to finish this way—was strong and it was what he’d wanted initially, but… 

“Haru…”  Rin pressed their foreheads together, slowing the slightest bit.

Haru caught his lips, loosening his hand.  Haru could read him so well now—whether that simple utterance of his name meant, _Haru, don’t stop_ …or _Haru, I need more_ …or _Haru, I changed my mind._

Rin eased back when Haru pushed at him gently, letting Haru get his feet under him.  It was a quick carry to the edge of the daybed, Haru leaving his lips only to recover the blue zippered case.

The prep work didn’t take long, as relaxed and aroused as Rin was.  He grabbed one of the foil packets as soon as Haru was done, Haru’s breath coming out in a soft hiss as Rin rolled the condom onto him.  Then Haru was coaxing him down to the blankets, Rin sighing against Haru’s throat until his lover pulled away.  He settled on the mattress, comfortable but still impatient as Haru trailed kisses over his collarbone, his black hair glossy in the sunlight. 

“Haru…”

Blue eyes smirked at him that time.  But Haru didn’t disappoint.  Rin’s breath caught, his lips parting around a wordless cry as Haru entered him, easily sliding deep.

Haru moaned, his hot cheek resting on Rin’s chest, his fingers digging into Rin’s thigh.  Warm, unsteady breaths scattered across Rin’s skin.

Rin loved being full of Haru like this, loved feeling Haru’s restraint crumble away when he was inside, shaking and gripping until he gave over to the pleasure they created together.

“Rin…”  His name was a broken whisper, Haru’s lashes fluttering as he wrapped Rin up and began to move.

Rin groaned, burying his fingers in Haru’s hair.  It was beyond satisfying.  He pulled Haru closer, deeper, yielding a soft curse from Haru’s lips.  Rin loved it all.  Bracing one heel on the mattress, he lifted his hips, meeting the rhythm Haru set, encouraging more…

Their lazy lovemaking caught fire soon enough, urgency tensing their limbs and sharpening their breaths.  Rin’s fingers were laced tightly with Haru’s, down against the sheets, as they spent each other with gasps and groans and muffled expletives—

Rin caught his breath slowly, once more able to form coherent thoughts as Haru lay limply on top of him.  “I always know it’s good when you swear as much as I do.”

“Nn, shut up,” Haru murmured.  He nuzzled Rin’s chest.  “Can we sleep out here?”

“Instead of the bedroom?”

“Mm.” 

“Yeah.”  Rin raked fingers through sweat-dampened, chlorinated black hair.  “I’d feel weird doing it in Ty’s parents’ bed.”

Haru snorted with amusement.  “If they rent out their place, they must expect—”

“We know them.  It’s weird.”

Haru laughed quietly.  He reeled in their joined hands, kissing the silicone ring on Rin’s finger.  “Love you, Rin.”

Rin melted against the sheets, sighing as he hugged Haru to him.  “Love you too.”

-x-

“I’ll just be another minute,” Rin said, closing the bathroom door.  They were showered and dressed, Rin’s hair towel-damp and his T-shirt clinging to his skin in the moist room.  The narrow bathroom had two sinks and a large soaking tub, the glass-walled shower still speckled with water droplets. 

Rin opened the drawer where they’d put their toiletry cases—Haru’s blue one beside his red one.  Rin pulled his out and opened it, reaching into a zippered, inner compartment.  It was the one place he could trust Haru not to look.  Haru liked to raid his clothes, which was perfectly fine with Rin, but meant that his suitcase wasn’t an option.  (Conversely, Rin had no need to get into Haru’s bag, which was packed solely with swimsuits, T-shirts, canned mackerel, drawing/photography supplies…and condoms.  _Priorities_ , Haru had said and shrugged, when Rin asked why he barely packed any _clothes_.)

The moment Rin’s fingers found the velvet box, the nerves woke in his stomach like anxious butterflies.  He took it out, swallowing, the navy-blue jewelry box fitting neatly into the palm of his hand.  Just needing to steal another look, Rin opened it…

The stone caught the light first—a water blue sapphire that danced and shimmered like a pool in the sun, as if it had water inside, the same way Haru’s eyes sparkled.  Rose-gold petals cradled the sapphire, the _sakura_ blossom inlaid into a slim yellow-gold band.  Matsushima and Konya had floored him, exceeding all of his expectations when he’d arrived at his appointment clutching his _sakura_ gold medal with only the vaguest idea of what he wanted.  They showed him several designs, but he knew it had to be this one from the first glance—it was perfect, it was them.  _This_ was the ring that would shine on Haru’s finger.  Rin couldn’t wait to give it, even while his nerves did somersaults in his belly. 

The engraving had taken him longer; he’d fretted over it for an abnormal length of time for him.  But he’d finally decided in the end, and he was happy with it.  _To Haru, love Rin.  From Spain to Someday and Forever_.  He’d thought about referencing their Rio ‘wedding’ instead, but Spain was where they’d first confessed their love to each other, where Haru uttered those simple yet staggering words, _You’re more than enough, Rin_ , that started him down a path of unlocking things inside that he’d kept buried for so long.  It wasn’t just Barcelona—it was Málaga and Sierra Nevada too, through storms and wrist arthrography and the most tender moments shared over ice packs and tears.  It was where they’d decided to dream together about more than just swimming.  Rin wanted Haru to know, to wear on his finger every day, how much that meant to him.

With a slow exhale, Rin closed the box, returning it safely to its hidden compartment.  _Until tomorrow_. 

He doubled-checked the knot on his purple and red Málaga boardshorts and pulled his hair into a ponytail before leaving the bathroom.  In the main room, Haru was standing in the sun from the windows in his coordinated green and yellow boardshorts and a navy-blue V-neck T-shirt.  Aside from the fact that V-necks on Haru should be illegal, the light was downright _sparkling_ off his hair and skin and the silicone ring on his left hand.  Haru was checking something on his phone, their beach bag packed and slung over his left shoulder. 

There were still moments, like this one, where Rin couldn’t believe he was actually living this life, that the boy he’d hounded for that first relay race was now his partner in everything, that when he said, ‘I love you,’ Haru said it back…that all of this was real when it seemed too good to be true.  There was part of him that wanted to rush back to get the ring and drop to one knee _right now_ , because if he blinked or breathed wrong it might all vanish, just like his dad on that fateful July day, so many years ago.

Dealing with those old anxieties was an on-going journey.  Deciding to push through, to live for the present moment, fully embracing the goodness of his life with an open heart and open hands…was a decision he sometimes made daily.  There were days when it took conscious effort—pulling back from the swirl of future plans, possibilities, and contingencies to allow himself to _rest_.  Other times, all it took was Haru reaching for his hand or meeting his gaze for the whirling busyness of Rin to land in the calm, placid radiance of the one he loved.

At that moment, Haru looked up from his phone, found him, and smiled.  “Ready, Rin?”

Warmth blossomed in Rin’s cheeks, the boyish giddiness rising unabated inside him.  He couldn’t hold it in, rushing across the room to tackle Haru.  Blue eyes widened in the split-second before they collided, the force knocking them back a step or two or three.  They stayed upright and thankfully didn’t fall into any furniture.

Haru’s startled noise was muffled by Rin’s lips, the kiss firm but chaste.  Rin felt the way surprise settled into pleasure in the soft give of Haru’s lips as he relaxed and returned the kiss.

Rin eventually pulled away, breathless and grinning.  “Ready,” he said, offering his hand.

A pink blush had bloomed across Haru’s cheekbones, his eyes shimmering like the Pacific outside their windows.  Haru took his hand.

-x-

Laying out on the beach was really just an opportunity to be hands-on in public (sunscreen) and look hot in sunglasses.  They kicked back with tunes—sharing earbuds—and baked under the sun while surfers tried their luck on the swells crashing offshore.  It was more crowded than Rin would’ve liked, but that couldn’t be helped for the holidays in December.  He’d take Haru to some less-touristy spots later in the week; today was their undisputed chill day to hang out close to the apartment and get settled.

As for tomorrow…

Rin had to curb his nervous instincts that would’ve had him planning out the entire day with mere minutes for margin, insisting everything had to be perfect for the proposal.  The closer they got, the more restless thoughts and ideas clamored for his attention—

_Take Haru to the aquarium!_

_…It’s water he can’t touch.  And I took him the last time we were here._

_Swim a relay at Icebergs.  Propose at the finish!_

_…Too public.  Plus, we’ve swam a lot of relays lately._   November’s endless relay was still fresh in both of their minds with Sumida sending them project updates on a weekly basis.  As suitable as the idea was, Rin wanted to make different memories.

_What about—_

_Just shut up._

Rin rolled onto an elbow, plucking the earbud from his ear.  “Na, Haru.”

“Hm?”  Haru turned his head to look at him, tugging his own earbud free.  His eyes were open beneath the amber aviator shades, his skin glowing from the sunscreen and a faint sheen of sweat from the heat.

“Tomorrow night, uh…”  Rin had to gather himself with a breath to settle the butterflies that woke in his stomach.  “You wanna go out somewhere nice?  Or eat in?  I’ll cook _saba_ for you.”  It was a safe enough question—Christmas Eve in Japan was a holiday for lovers.  There were definitely places in Sydney where they could have an equivalently lavish course dinner.  At the same time, he didn’t want to overdo it.  Haru would _tolerate_ elaborate; Rin knew he wasn’t really into it.  _Hell, maybe I should just propose in the bath._

Haru’s lips pressed briefly.  He shifted onto his side, facing Rin.  “I was thinking of cooking that steak for you, Rin.  I like the idea of it being just the two of us.  But I’m OK going out, too, if you prefer.”

Rin melted against his towel and the golden sand, his face igniting.  “Romantic dinner at home, then.  But I get to cook.”

“No, I’m cooking.”

“Haru—”

“It’s not fair if you do all the work.”

 _There’s no way I’m letting you cook an entire meal the night_ I _want to propose._   “ _Tch_.”  He glanced at the waves crashing on shore.  “Do we have to race about it?”

Haru chuckled, reaching for his hand.  “Rin, let’s cook _together_.”

Rin’s gaze snapped back to Haru’s, to the warmth and mirth dancing in Haru’s eyes.

Haru squeezed his fingers.  “If I cook with you, you’ll show me a sight I’ve never seen before, right?”

 _You can bet your ass on that one_.  Rin’s cheeks were flaming.  He inhaled slowly, which didn’t help at all.  “It’s a date.”

Haru’s eyes lit with pleasure.

Rin clutched his lover’s hand, gathering his courage.  “It’s OK if we go into the city after?  There’s somewhere I’d like to take you.”  His heart was already pounding, even though this wasn’t the actual proposal, merely the planning for it—

“Sure, Rin.” 

Rin relaxed, letting out a breath.  “We’ll do an early dinner then.”

Haru smiled.  “I can give you your Christmas present at dinner?  Or wait until Christmas Day?  How do you usually do it?”

“Eh…”  Rin was still blushing.  He rolled onto his back, shoving strands of hair out of his eyes and adjusting his sunglasses.  “Either way’s fine.  Christmas Day is pretty normal here, I guess.  You can bet Russell and Lori will inundate us with presents—all just food though.  That’s why I brought the chocolate for them.”

“Nn…”  Haru’s lips pursed.  “I still don’t get why you bought that.  I told you I could’ve asked my dad and he would’ve sent as much as we wanted.”

“It was…a timing thing, Haru.”  Obviously, he couldn’t say a word about the day he’d flown to Sapporo to seek the Nanases’ blessing before popping the question.  It went fine, of course, albeit slightly awkward at times since he didn’t know Haru’s parents well and Haru’s mother apparently fretted about everything.  Haru’s father was the freer and more laid back of the two, though still quiet and reserved compared to Rin’s crazy _Eye-of-the-Tiger_ -singing, laundry-throwing family.  The Nanases had welcomed Rin and extended their blessing, expressing once again their gladness (relief?) that Rin was taking care of their son—that Haru had launched out into the world and wasn’t alone anymore.  The conversation got awkward after that—Rin didn’t feel it would be polite to ask Haru’s father why he’d left at such a formative time in Haru’s life.  (Even with an ocean of difference between Nanase-san’s career in Hokkaido and Rin’s dad’s death, he and Haru had both been—essentially—fatherless when they met.)  But overall, the visit was amiable and Haru’s father made sure Rin left with a shopping bag full of his company’s famous chocolates.  The only thing Rin could do was stick them in the fridge and tell Haru they were a Christmas gift for Lori and Russell.

“But, uh…”  Rin cleared his throat.  “Christmas Eve’s fine, since it’ll just be the two of us.”

“Mm…”  Haru eyed him for a moment more, then settled back to stoic normal ( _warm and in love_ stoic normal), apparently not bothered that much by the chocolate situation; certainly not bothered enough to keep talking about it.  “OK.”

Frankly, it was hard to be bothered by _anything_ lying side-by-side on Bondi Beach, holding hands with the love of his life.

…And that was when a troupe of carolers in T-shirts, shorts, and Santa hats showed up with a Christmas tree.

Rin and Haru sat up to watch the performance with the crowd that quickly gathered.  After a brief intro, the troupe launched into song.  Rin shamelessly enjoyed the confusion that etched deeper and deeper onto Haru’s face every time a familiar carol came up with its unique Australian rendition.  The carolers encouraged the audience to join in, especially when _Aussie Jingle Bells_ came up.

“ _Dashing through the bush, in a rusty Holden Ute.  Kicking up the dust, esky in the boot.  Kelpie by my side, singing Christmas songs.  It's summer time and I am in my singlet, shorts and thongs_ —”

Haru leaned in, nearly having to shout in Rin’s ear to be heard over the enthusiastic singing.  “Rin, what’s a _Holden Ute_?”

Rin grinned, his arm slung around Haru’s shoulders.  “It’s a car here.  _Esky_ is a cooler and _Kelpie_ is a type of dog.”

Haru lifted a knuckle to his chin, his head tilted in thought as he puzzled this all out.

Rin laughed.  “One thing I can say, Haru—you’ll like Australian Christmas carols.  There’s one hundred percent more pools.”

As Haru’s eyes widened and he started listening intensely, Rin dissolved into more giggles, resting his head against Haru’s shoulder.  All around them, the hearty singing continued.

-x-

The mood of the impromptu concert ebbed and flowed like the tide, upbeat songs giving way to traditional hymns before circling back again to modern Australian Christmas carols.  Rin had grown up with the songs.  Lori had her favorite Christmas albums that she played all of December, despite Russell’s and Rin’s teasing whenever she put on the cheesy ones.  Rin’s homestay parents, not having kids of their own, made Christmas a big deal every year, as if they’d been waiting all their lives for a child to come into their home to lavish their love upon, decorate a tree with, and spoil with presents on Christmas morning.  They always took him to every Christmas party and event he wanted to go to, never pushing religion on him, but leaving the invitation open if he wanted to attend a Christmas service.

 _“MCC Sydney holds a Christmas Eve service at Sydney Town Hall, every year.  It’s an inclusive church.  Everyone’s welcome.  Russell and I would be happy to take you if you wanted to go, Rin.”_   Back then, what Lori meant had flown right over his head, but he knew she was trying anything and everything to make him more comfortable and help him out of the depression that he’d attempted, unsuccessfully, to hide.  In retrospect, it still astounded him to think that in a matter of months she’d sleuthed out what his feelings for Haru really were, something that took him almost eight years to admit to himself.

Rin loved going to look at Christmas lights and attending Christmas concerts on the beach.  He’d never taken Russell and Lori up on the church offer, though.  Countless unanswered prayers meant God didn’t care about him or his dead dad; either that or all of the bitter words he’d whispered into his pillow in his grief had turned God away from him.  In the years that followed, his anger at God had turned into anger at himself and the need to exact revenge from a world that had taken too much, too soon from his life.

All of these thoughts and memories landed soft on Rin’s mind as the carolers continued to sing around their Christmas tree planted in the golden Bondi Beach sand.  And even though he was half a world and a hemisphere away from the neighborhood shrines near their Bunkyō apartment or the Sistine Chapel in Vatican City, a quiet ache stirred in a place deeper than his heart.  It felt like…unfinished business.

The carolers completed their performance to rousing applause, mingling with the crowd as they started packing up.

Rin dropped back to his towel with a sigh, staring up at the unmarred blue sky overhead and the blazing sun steadily tracking west.  As the carolers left and the crowd disbanded, Haru stretched out beside him.  Haru was doing that thing again—reading his mood and choosing not to interrupt, deciding instead to wait quietly and coexist with him as he sorted things out.

Rin closed his eyes, feeling the warm sun on his skin in contrast to the burning he felt underneath.  “Haru, can I ask you something?”

“Mm.”

“If I ever wanted to…”  Rin drew a long breath of the sea salt air.  “If I wanted to go to a church, just once.  Not like I—”

“I’ll come with you, Rin.”  The reply was immediate, no hesitation at all.

Rin opened his eyes, turning over and propping himself up on his elbows.  Haru was on his side next to him, his head pillowed on his folded arm.  Sunlight sparkled off the grains of sand that clung to his skin.

“You’d be comfortable with that?” Rin asked.

Haru nodded.  “We’re in Sydney.  There’s probably a gay church here somewhere.”

His response was so straight-forward, so _Haru_ , that Rin couldn’t help but smile, dropping his forehead to his towel.  “There is.  Haru, you just—”

“Like the statue in Rio.”

Warmth pricked Rin’s eyes.  “I was angry with God for so many years,” he whispered.  Rin inhaled a deeper breath, gathering himself and his voice as he lifted his head and shifted to face his lover.  “I’m not anymore.  I just…need to say it, one time.”

Through amber shades, Rin saw blue eyes full of compassion, acceptance, and love—nothing held back.  When Haru reached for his hand, Rin met him halfway, squeezing hard.

Haru smiled with his eyes, squeezing back.  “When and where, Rin?”

-x-

They spent the rest of the day chasing each other through the waves or across the sand.  Dinner was at _The Bucket List_ , right on the boardwalk while the sun set behind clouds of scarlet and gold.  Prior to heading back, they hit up the market for breakfast foods and other staples.  Their return to the apartment was a stroll, hand-in-hand, through the balmy, indigo twilight. 

The shower started innocently enough, just helping each other wash off the sunscreen and sand…  Who kissed who first was never worth debating, their hands wandering and breaths thickening as they lingered under the warm spray, the glass walls fogged up with steam. 

After—dried off and curled together on the daybed—they gazed through the windows at millions of stars and glowing blue swaths of Milky Way. 

As fatigue drew Rin under, hastened by Haru’s fingers combing slowly through his hair, he closed his eyes, his head pillowed on Haru’s shoulder.  “Love you,” he whispered, tucking an arm around his lover’s torso.

Haru’s chest rose and fell with a deep, contented sigh.  “Love you, Rin.”

* * *

Saturday, December 24th, 2016

* * *

As soon as they were conscious again, Haru was dead set on the pool.  Rin barely got breakfast into both of them before Haru pulled him out the door; he wondered if this was what mornings with their future kids were going to be like.  The early hours were cooler, the overcast slowly burning off as they swam…and raced and tackled each other in the water and competed to see who could last the longest out of the pool, bombarded by the cold, crashing waves (Haru won that one). 

They nibbled on a light lunch between laps.  When Rin was finally able to pry Haru out of the water, they headed up the beach, navigating the crowded Woolworths Metro market for the last ingredients they’d need for dinner.  Rin selected fresh produce, carting around their basket while Haru kept disappearing to a different aisle in the store for minutes at a time.

 _I’d say your travel fear is 100% cured_.

The steak was already marinating at the apartment and salad ingredients were in the basket, along with the mushrooms, bell peppers, and zucchini squash Haru had poured over upon arriving at the store (Haru was the _slowest_ produce picker ever), so Rin didn’t know what he was searching for now.  _Anyways_ …  Rin checked the list on his phone again, verifying he had all the required ingredients for his recipe.

When Haru still wasn’t back, Rin finally went looking.  He found his lover standing in front of a shelf of votive candles with a whole ripe pineapple tucked into the crook of his arm.  Haru was picking up individual votives to smell each one once, sometimes twice, before returning the candle to the shelf and reaching out for another…only his hand stopped halfway, diverted to yet another selection.  But before he touched that one, Haru retracted his hand again, setting his knuckle against his chin, his brow furrowed in deep thought.

Rin face-palmed.  “Haru, we’ll be here all day.”

“I only smell chlorine and pineapple.” 

“Whose fault is that?”  Rin grabbed the pineapple from him, tucking it into the basket.

Haru’s eyes brightened with pleasure.  “Thanks, Rin.”

 _Gah_.  Rin’s heart turned into a puddle of warm goo.  If the man he loved wanted to spend an hour selecting the perfect candles for their romantic Christmas dinner…  _Damnit, I’m in._

Haru picked two votives off the shelf, one a deep turquoise blue and one fuchsia-pink.  “This one says _Ocean_ ,” he said, offering the turquoise candle to Rin for his inspection.

Rin leaned in, just able to pick out the delicate scent reminiscent of saltwater over the chlorine that clung to them both.  “Mm.”

Haru held out the pink one.  “This one says _Japanese Cherry Blossom_.”

Rin’s breath caught, the rest of him melting as he gazed helplessly at Haru.  Heat burned in his face; the heavy basket and crowded aisle were the only things that kept him in check, kept him from tackling Haru to the floor, kissing him until their lips were the same color as the candle, and (probably) proposing in the process.

Rin’s lungs deflated, the air leaving him in a hard puff.  “Haru, we have to leave before I kiss you in the middle of the store.  Get both.”

Haru quirked a brow, his eyes slowly turning sly—

Rin coughed and looked away, pulling Haru by the arm.  “Do _not_ fucking tease.  Come on.”

-x-

They worked side-by-side in the kitchen in their T-shirts and shorts with the windows open to let the crashing surf be their ambiance.  Rin pulled his hair back before starting in.  While Haru chopped vegetables into generous wedges for skewers, Rin tackled the mackerel fillets, painstakingly removing every last damn pin bone.  Why the fuck did _saba_ have to be such a boney fish?

He was done about the time Haru was sliding trays of prepared skewers into the fridge to wait for later, finally setting the mackerel fillets into a bowl.  Rin grabbed the citrus juicer from the drawer, slicing into the ripe orange, lemon, and lime he’d gotten at the market.  Haru hovered nearby, watching as he juiced each piece into a bowl.

“What are you making?”

“ _Ceviche_.”  Rin glanced at his lover aside.  “You’ve had it before?”

Haru shook his head, continuing to watch intently.

Rin whisked the citrus juices together, adding soy sauce, sherry vinegar, and mirin.  “The acid in the citrus cures the fish, so it’s not actually cooked.  It just has to marinate for a couple hours.  I’ve had it with sea bass before, but I found this recipe for mackerel for us to try.”  He turned his attention back to the cutting board, where a bright red Thai chili and a small piece of ginger waited.

“…You’re making _saba ceviche_ for me?”

Rin shot his lover one of his most lethal smiles, complete with a wink.  “Because I love you.” 

Haru’s face reddened, his Adams apple working in a gulp, his hands twitching away from his sides before he tamed them back into place.

Rin fought to keep himself from grinning as he picked up the knife and began slicing the chili into thin rings.

Haru left the kitchen then; a few minutes later Rin heard a chair scrape back at the table.

“…Rin.”

“Hm?”

“Can I, uh…”  Haru paused and Rin could’ve sworn he heard the tell-tale click of pencils.  “Can I draw you cooking for me?” Haru whispered.

It was Rin’s turn to blush; he felt the heat all the way up the back of his neck to the tips of his ears.  “Yeah, Haru.”

-x-

It wasn’t embarrassing—not really—but it still felt kind of weird.  _Like, what am I supposed to do with this arm?_   Rin cleared his throat lightly.  “Do you want me to, ah, look at you, or…?”  He was lying on white sheets, entirely nude, with just a corner of the top sheet held over his delicates.

“Wherever you’d like, Rin,” Haru said as he sat down in the chair beside the bed with his blue blanket.

Rin arched a brow, taking in bronzed skin and tan lines.  “Why are _you_ naked?”

“I’m trying to make you more comfortable.”  Haru folded his legs into the chair, opening his sketchbook across his lap.

 _It’s working_.  Rin chewed his lower lip, noting his lover wasn’t _entirely_ calm.  His body responded with an equivalent rush of warmth, his pulse quickening a tick or two.  Rin wet his lips, thinking entirely evil thoughts, and folded his free arm, tucking it beneath his head like a pillow as he turned ever so slightly more towards Haru. 

“Try to hold still, Rin.”

“Yup.”

…He behaved for about ten minutes.  After that, Haru’s pencil was on the floor and the sketchbook lay abandoned in the chair.

-x-

While Haru fired up the grill outside, Rin started the rice and salad.  They had _clothes_ on again, which was becoming a rarer and rarer occurrence, but he was enough of a dork to have _picked out_ the outfit he wanted to propose in, so he was wearing it, damnit.  The loose, navy-blue T-shirt with the V-neck front was one Haru loved to steal; Rin had picked straight-cut gray trousers to go with.  They weren’t as tight as he would’ve liked, but there was no way he was getting that ring box into the pocket of his skinny jeans without looking ridiculous (scandalous).

_Just lose the box, Matsuoka._

_No, it has to be in the box!  It’s romantic that way._   Rin sighed at himself as he opened the fridge and pulled out the marinated _saba_. 

The fish, at least, smelled amazing.  Rin sliced the fillets into even pieces, arranging them just so onto a serving plate and drizzling the reserved marinade over top.  He garnished the dish with julienned _daikon_ and microgreens and stepped back for a good long look at his handiwork—

_This is fucking pretty._

He snapped a picture with his phone, tempted to overlay _Marry Me?_ and send it to Haru right now.  But…he contained himself, carrying the serving plate out to the balcony where their table was already set with flatware and water glasses.

“Haru!  Check this out.”

Haru turned away from the grill, wearing the Bingham’s khaki Bondi Beach apron over a dark, garnet red T-shirt (pilfered from Rin’s suitcase) and black shorts.  His eyes widened as he took in the dish, lifting his sparkling gaze to Rin’s face.  “It’s ready?”

Rin knew he was beaming like an idiot as he picked up a fork.  “Wanna try?”

Haru almost quivered, clacking the tongs in his hand instead of answering.  He opened his mouth.  “Ah.”

Rin rolled his eyes.  _You silly feline_.  He selected a choice bite, carefully removing the skin and offering it to Haru on the fork, his hand cupped underneath to catch any drips.  “I was pretty thorough on the bones, but…”

Haru accepted the bit of fish, chewing thoughtfully while Rin held his breath…

Blue eyes slit with pleasure, Haru swallowed and met his gaze.  “More, Rin.”

The giddiness exploded inside him, Rin’s twelve-year-old self doing cartwheels as he prepped another bite and fed it to Haru.

-x-

He didn’t stop blushing and smiling the whole meal.  Haru’s marinated steak and vegetable skewers were delicious, not a single one was left.  The _saba_ _ceviche_ plate was down to a few flecks of radish caught in the sauce.  With salad, rice, and grilled pineapple for dessert, Rin was pleasantly full.  The company was still better than the food, though.  Sitting with Haru underneath the market lights with the ocean and _sakura_ votives flickering between them and the surf crashing on the rocks below…Rin’s heart was permanent mush inside him and he didn’t think he’d ever recover.  This day, this meal was a memory he wanted to cherish forever—to look back on when they were eighty years old and annoyed with change and their bodies falling apart and their lack of swimming…to look back and remember how their love first began.

Rin took out his phone, having to clear his throat hard before he could speak.  “Haru, selfie?”

They scooted together, leaning against the rail with the waves behind them.  Rin threw his arms around Haru’s shoulders, grinning for the camera as Haru snapped the pictures.  He was sure there were tears in his eyes in every frame.

After, Haru brushed his face with gentle fingers, Rin clinging to one retreating hand, kissing Haru’s palm and wrist.

Haru’s smile grew even fonder, his blue eyes holding that staggering love that still rocked Rin to his core, leaving him ruined and breathless.  “Presents, Rin?”

They cleared the table, storing away the leftover rice and pineapple for later, before settling back in their chairs with the votive flames still dancing in the center.  Rin was holding his wrapped gift under his chair, even though there was no way Haru hadn’t seen it during one of his suitcase raids.  Haru was doing the same.

“Who goes first?” Rin asked.

Haru snorted with amusement.  “I don’t know, should we flip on it?”

“Count of three?”

“Sure.”

They each took a deep breath—  “One, two, three—Merry Christmas!”

Rin quirked a brow at the book-sized present in front of him.  “Haru, where did you find wrapping paper with Santa in a speedo…on water-skis…getting pulled by a pod of dolphins?”  It was a very muscular Santa, too.

Haru blinked at him across the table, already starting in on one end of the _elegantly_ wrapped tube Rin had handed him.  “The Internet.”

_Of course._

“Technically, Mikoshiba found it.  I think he was looking for wrapping paper for a present for your sister.”

… _Fantastic._   Rin winced as he picked up the present—paperback book, it felt like—hoping to God Mikoshiba hadn’t had anything to do with the actual gift—

Haru popped one end of the cardboard tube open, pulling out the rolled-up poster inside.  He spread it out in front of him, all black and shimmering gold.  “It’s a map?”

Rin’s cheeks warmed.  “It’s a scratch off map.  You can keep track of all the countries you’ve been to.  There’s stickers too.”

“ _Rin_.”  Haru lifted sparkling eyes, his face flushed with pleasure.  “I can mark all the places—all the sights you’ve shown me.”

Rin pressed his lips, getting a little emotional again.  _Yeah, that’s the idea_.

Haru scooted his chair around to Rin’s side, leaning over and taking Rin’s face in his hands.  The kiss was sweet and gentle.  “I love it,” he whispered.

“Haru…”

Haru let him go, sitting back in his chair.  “Open yours too.”

“Ah.”  Rin sniffed hard and turned his attention to the present.  He undid the tape on the top—not wanting to tear muscular Santa in half—and slid the gift out.  It was a book, partway free when Rin caught the English title— _How to hold a baby—_

“ _Haru!_ ”  Rin exhaled through his nostrils, his cheeks flaming.

“Read the whole title before you glare at me, Rin.”

Done with being careful, Rin shucked the wrapping paper off—

 _How to hold a baby: Practical advice for new and prospective dads.  Updated Edition: A-to-Z Adoption and Surrogacy guidance, your options explained_.  The picture on the front—of two men cradling an infant—blurred as Rin’s eyes filled with tears. 

 _Haru…_   He couldn’t even get the name out, surrendering to the strong arms that circled him tightly.

“You said you wanted a manual, Rin,” Haru whispered against his hair.

The only thing Rin could do was nod, clutching Haru and the guidebook to their Someday dream.

-x-

After Rin finally got his tears under control and washed his face, they took the bus to Bondi Junction and the train to Town Hall station, just a few blocks east of the aquarium on Darling Harbour.  The Christmas lights came on as the sun dipped below the rooftops, Haru snapping pictures with his phone of the colors and decorations. 

They joined the queue at Sydney Town Hall just before 7PM.  Even though Rin was nervous about this, holding Haru’s hand and walking in under Christmas banners prominently featuring the Rainbow flag made things easier; breathable.  They took seats in the back and on the side of the massive auditorium—Centennial Hall—just as the orchestra in front of the Grand Organ was starting their opening number.

The music ranged from country to opera to many of the same Christmas Carols they’d heard yesterday on the beach.  Lively singing-along was encouraged.  There were speakers and rituals sprinkled in too, with the audience invited to participate or not according to their comfort level.  It was during soft singing that Rin found his moment, a stillness surrounding his soul as he sat forward with his forearms resting on his knees, having the sense that heaven might really be listening.

The words flowed from somewhere deep inside him, from the boy he used to be, punching his pillow wet with tears, to the man he was now.  _I’m not angry anymore._ Rin exhaled slowly, feeling a weight leave with the air.  _I was for a long time._   He knew there were things he’d never understand, answers to why’s that would never come.  _I’m not anymore, though I’ll always miss him_.  _I just…wanted to say that._

The quiet didn’t bring him any audible answer, but he felt peace regardless, gently enveloping him.  Rin drew a breath as he straightened, sitting back in his chair. 

Haru was next to him, his eyes full of the same warm compassion as on the beach yesterday.  As Haru took his hand, Rin felt a surge of emotion in the depths of his being—the sudden sense that every heart-broken prayer he’d uttered had been heard, that every tear he’d wept was precious, and the promise that not one moment of those painful years was a waste, but part of something bigger, even if there were no answers to be had now.

Haru didn’t say a word, silently producing a packet of tissues from his pocket.

Rin laughed with his tears, sliding an arm around Haru and leaning in to touch their foreheads together.

…In the crowded lobby after the service, Rin spotted the sign for the restroom.  “Haru, I’m just gonna…  You’ll be OK?”  Somehow he was still nervous, even though Haru hadn’t shown a lick of travel anxiety in months.

Haru smiled.  “I’m good, Rin.”

Rin made his absence brief anyway, returning to the same spot.  After a quick look around yielded no Haru, Rin took out his phone.

_[Haru?]_

His phone buzzed immediately.  _[I’m in the hall, Rin.]_

Rin headed back into the auditorium.  Sure enough, there was a familiar head of raven hair off to one side, chatting with a man in a purple MCC polo shirt.  Rin hung back for a second.  _Maybe I shouldn’t interrupt—_

 _“Does your church have a pool?”_ Haru asked.

Rin sighed. 

_“A pool, mate?”_

_“I’ve seen pictures—of people in the water while others are singing…”_

_“Oh, you mean for baptisms?  We’ve only got one of those aspersion fonts for sprinkling in the sanctuary.  When people want full immersion we either have a spa brought in or hold church on the beach.”_

_“You have church in the water?”_

_“Well, uh, we’ve never really called it that…_ ” 

Rin headed over.  “Haru.”

Haru greeted him with a warm look.  “ _This is my partner, Rin_ ,” he said.  “ _Rin, this is Henry from MCC_.”

The man’s eyes widened as he glanced from Haru to Rin and back again.  _“I told myself you couldn’t be_ that _Haruka.  Sorry, mate!  We follow your work in Japan.  It’s a right honor.”_ With a big smile, Henry held out his hand, shaking with both of them.  “ _It’s a long haul, aye?  We might be a bit closer down here in Australia, but we’re hoping Japan’ll be right behind us.  You’re in our prayers, guys.  And know you’ve got friends here, anytime you’re down this way_.”

Rin smiled back, relaxing.  “ _Thank you_.”

…He had an arm around Haru’s shoulders as they left, drawing his lover out into the balmy night. 

“They’re OK.  Even without the pool.”

“Haru, you know that’s not what that’s for, right?”

-x-

Rin had never been more aware of his heartbeat as they arrived at the wharf.  Darling Harbour opened up U-shaped in front of them, the water shimmering with the colored lights of the surrounding skyline of hotels and shopping plazas.  To the north, the elevated Pyrmont Bridge crossed the waterway, flags and lamps lining the rail while boats motored slowly to and from their moorings.  The boardwalk itself was packed with people, music spilling out of restaurants and shops down to the edge of the wharf.  Everything sparkled red and gold for Christmas.

The aquarium was on the east side of the harbor, but it wasn’t their destination tonight.  Rin’s gaze was to the west, by the Harbourside Shopping Centre, even if the alarm on his phone hadn’t buzzed yet.  They strolled along the boardwalk, taking in the decorations.  With each step, Rin was more and more conscious of the ring box in his pocket…

“Rin?” 

“Hm?”  Rin’s arm stretched taut as Haru stopped.  He turned back, smiling when he saw that _Gelatissimo_ ’s glowing storefront had caught Haru’s attention.

“Can we get something?”

Rin saw himself in Haru’s question—his twelve-year-old self with Winnie’s leash in his hand as Russell and Lori caught up. 

_“Sure, Rin.”  Russell smiled, fishing his wallet from his pocket.  “Get whatever you’d like.”_

_“Better make it two,” Lori said, taking Winnie’s leash.  “Or you know Russell will eat half of yours.”_

_Russell chuckled, his arm draped around Lori’s shoulders.  “Well, you’re not wrong, love.”_

“Yeah,” Rin grinned, tugging Haru towards the line.

Minutes later, they had two scoops of gelato in a cup to share, sunny mango and tart-sweet raspberry.  They perched on the steps leading down to the edge of the boardwalk in front of the IMAX theater, fencing with plastic spoons to get just the right mix of flavors in each bite.

“Haru, you’re taking all the mango.”

“I am not.”

“You are too!  Look at how much is on your—”  Rin was cut off as Haru popped the spoon into his mouth, the creamy gelato melting on his tongue.

Haru’s face was smug.  “What were you saying, Rin?” he asked in dulcet, innocent tones.

Rin cleaned the spoon thoroughly while Haru held it, making sure to keep eye contact the whole time—

The blush that brightened Haru’s cheeks was the perfect revenge, Rin laughing as he loaded his spoon with a generous dollop of raspberry and offered it to Haru. 

When they got down to the last couple of spoonfuls, Rin let Haru have the rest, leaning back to look at the water with a warm heart and a gentle sigh.  “This takes me back.”  He smiled faintly as he remembered running along the boards with Winnie, Russell and Lori strolling along behind him.  “I used to come here every year with Lori and Russell.  We’d wander around and eat gelato, see the lights…”

Rin drew a breath as sober thoughts crept in.  “December was always hard.  Nothing to do with Christmas, just…because I knew I had to go home.”

Haru set down the empty cup between them, listening quietly.

“I mean, you know how much I care about my mom and Gou, but it was always easier to pretend here.  To not…feel things like I would when I was home.”  Home always meant facing reality again, stepping through the door expecting to hear a voice that never answered.  “…Not to mention the inevitable questions about swimming.” _The dream I was failing at and couldn’t face._

“But…”  Rin stretched out his feet in front of him, watching the colored lights dancing on the water’s surface under the inky sky.  “Being here…all the shine and sparkle—it always made me feel better.  It always gave me hope somehow.”  He blushed, recalling the way he used to sit on the edge of the walkway, dangling his feet over the water, and the thoughts that kept him company.  “I used to look at the water and wonder if you ever thought of me.  …And wonder if I’d ever be good enough to swim with you again.”

Haru inhaled softly.  “Rin…”

Rin smiled at the memory—at the hope-filled child he’d always been—as he shifted his gaze to the one by his side.  “It worked out, huh?”  _All of those Christmas wishes._   He reached for Haru’s hand.  “Haru, there’s one more thing I want to—”

Haru’s face clouded as he caught Rin’s fingers, gripping tightly.  “It was every day.”

Rin’s breath caught.

“Every time I went to that railroad crossing on the way to school; every time I passed by ITSC…”  Haru’s brow knit with old pain.  “I thought about you and wished I could take it all back—the race that made you quit swimming.”

“Haru—”  Rin’s eyes went wide.  “It wasn’t because of you.  I told you, last time—”

“I know.”  Haru’s expression eased.  “But that’s what I thought, back then.”

“ _Gomen_ ,” Rin whispered.  He moved in, taking Haru lightly in his arms.  “I—”

Haru silenced him with a whisper of fingertips against his face, thumb brushing across his lips.  “I forgave you in an instant, Rin.  I’m the one who was sorry.”

Rin let out a hard breath, nipping at Haru’s retreating thumbpad.  “Never apologize for being awesome, Haru.  Even if I cry about it.”

Haru’s eyes warmed.  “Ah.”

They weren’t alone, of course.  Not even close.  Rin reluctantly pulled away as he saw the attention and double-takes they were starting to garner, drawing Haru up before their PDA got them recognized.  “Come on.”

Rin silenced the alarm in his pocket as they headed along the boardwalk, passing the convention center as they made their way up the western edge of the U-shaped harbor.  Their destination was aglow in front of them in red and green lights, decorated with Christmas trees and wreaths.  The _Star of the Show_ ferris wheel was 32m high, colored LEDs blinking in patterns on every spoke.  It was right on the edge of the water with two dozen enclosed gondolas suspended from the outer ring.

The closer they got, the more Rin’s heart was back to thumping.  “No, uh, fear of heights, right?” he asked.

Haru had his neck craned to take in the lights.  He shook his head as his gaze came back to earth, to Rin’s.  “No,” Haru said, smiling with his eyes.

Inhaling slowly, Rin tugged on his lover’s hand, leading the way to the epic queue (though they bypassed most of it, slipping into the VIP line).

Rin cleared his throat as they got up to the carnival-styled box office, complete with a Santa perched on the roof.  _“I have a reservation for a VIP gondola.  Last name Matsuoka.”_   He dug the voucher out of his pocket and handed it to the person inside the booth.

He could feel Haru’s gaze, but tried to play ignorant and not give anything away.  _Right, like you’re fooling anyone._   But waiting in line was simply not an option with only minutes left until 9PM…

She exchanged his voucher for two glossy tickets.  _“Here you are, Mr. Matsuoka.  We’re ready for you if you’d step to the front please.  Merry Christmas!”_

“ _Merry Christmas_.”  Rin handed Haru his ticket as they left the booth, the two of them following staff up a ramp to a much shorter queue.

Their gondola arrived, ferris wheel staff sliding the door aside so they could enter.  Rin let Haru board first, stepping up into the glass-walled cylinder, red cushioned seating ringing the interior.  Their feet went in the center where a steering wheel of sorts allowed the occupants to rotate the gondola for unobstructed 360-degree views.

They settled together on one side, close enough that Rin’s left knee was brushing Haru’s right as ride staff slid the door back into place.  The noise of the crowds already started to fade as the ferris wheel moved, traveling just enough to load the gondola behind theirs.

“This is the best view of the harbor—right here at nine o’clock.”  Rin pressed his lips.  “Sorry it’s still water you can’t touch.”

“I’m not, Rin.”  Haru gave him a warm look, reaching for his hand.  “What happens at nine?”

“You’ll see.”

The measured pace carried them gradually upward and over the water.  Rin’s heart was pounding in his chest as he watched Haru taking in the world outside, the sparkling lights glistening on the surface of the bay.  The moment was finally here, though he knew if he overthought it, he’d get tongue-tied and royally screw this up—

Drawing one last breath to gather himself, Rin plunged in, taking both of Haru’s hands in his.  “Na, Haru.  There’s…something I need to say.”

Haru drew his gaze from the glass, glancing first at their hands before lifting his eyes to Rin’s.  He waited.

Rin ignored the sudden clamminess of his palms.  “I think you know…that as recently as April I was saying things about not—”  He sighed, his face heating.  “About not wanting to fall in love.”

Haru didn’t reply immediately, but his eyes gave him away.  Finally, he answered with a tiny nod.

 _I figured Makoto told you_.  Rin lowered his gaze to their clasped hands, to the matching silicone rings on their fingers.  “Because I thought that’s how my dad’s dream ended; his life too.  I thought I needed to do it alone.  I didn’t want distractions—that’s what love was to me.”

The emotion started to gather in Rin’s eyes.  “The truth is, I’ve been running from every kind of love for so long…denying myself what I desperately wanted…needed…but I didn’t know—couldn’t admit it to myself.  But Haru, you…”  He lifted his gaze.  “You always saw _me_ , didn’t you?  You saw the mess and the pain and the tears and you never once flinched, you never turned away and you never pushed, either.  You just…”  Rin’s voice fell to a whisper.  “You just _loved me_.”

Haru’s eyes started to glisten, his lips soundlessly forming Rin’s name.

“The more I let you in, the more I felt like…”  Tears pooled in Rin’s eyes.  “Like the dead places inside me were starting to come alive again.  And the feelings I’d buried—the love I wanted and needed and _wanted to give_ —came out…  The new dreams I have are so much more than swimming.  I can finally _see_ myself the way you see me.  I can love _myself_ because you’ve shown me I’m enough—”

“Rin…”  Haru’s breath wavered, thin trails spilling down his cheeks.

“Haru, I feel like I’m a whole person again.  Just like when I was little and my dad was still alive.”  Rin sniffed hard, gripping Haru’s hands in his own.  “I never thought my prayers would be answered this way, but falling in love with you has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Haru’s eyes blew wide, gleaming—

“What I’m trying to say is…”  Rin smiled through his tears, holding Haru’s gaze.  “ _I’m ready_.  I know what I want and I don’t want to wait anymore—I want our Someday to start right now.”  Letting go, he slipped down to the floor of the gondola, onto one knee, and took out the velvet box.  “Haru—”  He stopped himself with a grin, starting in again.  “ _Nanase Haruka_ , will you marry me?”

Haru’s eyes fell to the ring, his blink sending another cascade down reddened cheeks.  His lips were trembling as he pressed them, his hands shaking as their gazes met, as he reached out and captured Rin’s hands.  “Rin, _yes_ —”

Rin let out the huge breath he’d been holding without realizing, his heart exploding with giddiness and warmth.  _Holy shit_.  He knew he was grinning like an idiot and it was taking all of his self-control to _not_ tackle Haru.  The main thing holding him back was clutched securely between their hands.  “Haru, can I—?”

Haru let go, moving the silicone ring to his right hand and giving his left.

Rin pulled the gold band from the cushion, biting his lower lip as he slid it over Haru’s knuckle and into place, the _sakura_ and sapphire shining back at him, the fit perfect.

“Rin—”

Haru tackled him first, the box clattering to the floor of the gondola, Rin’s back hitting the cushioned seat edge.  He wrapped Haru up, grinning and crying, surprised at how tightly Haru was holding him, at the warm droplets landing in his hair, at how much Haru was shaking.

“Haru?”

“I didn’t know I could be this happy.”

Rin’s heart puddled inside him, more tears sliding down his cheeks.  When they finally drew back, Haru cupped his face, their kiss tasting like salty tears and mango gelato.

They were still kissing when the first whistle sounded, followed by a soft _pop_ that rained over them in a shower of dazzling golden sparkles.  The first firework—launched from a platform in the center of the harbor—was joined by a second and a third—

“Huh—?”  Haru drew breath, a blue starburst shimmering in the sky above them and painting them in flashes of color.

“Nine o’clock,” Rin whispered, his arms wound tight around Haru’s shoulders.

As a red firework blossomed overhead, Haru returned to him, smiling, finding his lips again…  “You’re right, Rin.  This is the best sight I’ve ever seen.”

-x-

They found ways to keep hold of each other’s hands on the way back, first on the train and then on the short taxi ride from Bondi Junction.  Haru pulled him through the apartment door once he’d unlocked it, tugging him down the hall before he’d even managed to get his shoes off.

“ _Haru_.”  Rin chuckled.  “At least let me—”

But Haru wasn’t aiming for the bed, Rin’s mirth fading as his fiancé slid the balcony door aside.  Wordlessly, he stepped outside with Haru into the warm ocean breezes, the market lights glowing overhead.  That was when Haru released his hand, reaching for something stashed behind the grill.  It was a flat box, album-sized—burgundy with a red satin ribbon.

Haru’s lips pursed as he held it out.  “I was supposed to wait until your birthday, but I just couldn’t.”

Rin’s heart started to pound afresh as he accepted the box; it had weight to it.  He slid the ribbon free, lifting the lid and pushing folds of tissue paper aside—

A starry Málaga night greeted him, silver-tipped waves lapping against the shore—only it wasn’t a photograph—

“Haru,” Rin’s voice came out in a hushed whisper.  “This is…”

It was the cover of a glossy, hardbound book, Rin carefully, reverently lifting it out of the box.  Holding his breath, he opened it to the first page—

Barceloneta Beach—he would’ve recognized the sun and golden sand anywhere, even without the tiny caption in silver text in the lower right corner.

“I couldn’t fit the canvases into my suitcase, so I had to do this.”

Rin couldn’t speak, turning one page after the next.  Haru’s artwork was oil paintings and watercolor, photographs and sketches.  Norway, Spain, France, Arizona, São Paulo, Beijing—pictures of places and pools, of sunrises and sunsets…and _sakura_ petals clinging to Rin’s hair in a soft spring rain.  He had to brush at the tears to keep from dripping on the pages…until he got to two sketches that ruined him—their hands clasped tight over an ice pack in Sierra Nevada and Rin placing his goggles around João’s neck in Rocinha.

“These are all the sights you showed me this year, Rin.”

“ _Haru_.”  Rin’s voice was labored and broken as he brushed his arm across his eyes.

Haru pushed the box towards him.  “There’s this too.”

The second item was a scrapbook; each page a different place and pool—some locations Rin recognized and others he didn’t.  “The places you’d like to see next?”

“Mm.”  Haru smiled.  “They’re also places we could get married right now if we wanted to.”

Rin swallowed, a lump in his throat; he got to the end of the pictures, the pages of the scrapbook only half-filled.

“The rest is for hope, Rin.”

_Haru…_

“The first half is for when we get impatient.”

Rin laughed, wiping away more tears.  “The likelihood of that is—”

—He was cut off by Haru sinking down to one knee.  Rin’s eyes widened.

Haru smiled up at him.  “My turn, Rin.”  He produced a burgundy box in velvet.

“Oi—”  Rin could already feel his face reddening, his eyes filling with tears.  He was ruined already and rapidly dissolving into a blubbering mess.  “Haru!  Why do you think I decided to—”

“You can’t have all the fun.”  Haru’s eyes glittered.  He lifted the lid of the ring box, Rin blinking in disbelief at a matching gold and _sakura_ band, except for the fiery red gemstone at the heart of the flower.

_How did you…?_

But there was no time to ask now, not as Haru’s voice grew solemn.

“Rin, every sight I see for the rest of my life, I want to see _together_.”

Rin’s eyes filled with another wave of tears.

“The beautiful, breathtaking sights and the hard and painful ones, too.  I want to be partners in everything, supporting each other, loving each other, carrying each other through the rough times…  I want to take on the world with you, Rin.”  Haru held out the ring.  “Matsuoka Rin, will you marry me?”

Tears were sheeting down Rin’s face as he choked back a sob.  “Haru, _fuck_ —”

Haru arched a brow.  “Is that a yes?”

“Yes!”  Rin dropped to his knees, scrubbing unproductively at his eyes.  “Get that on me already.”

His gaze was full of the flushed pleasure on Haru’s face as they moved rings; Haru sliding the matching gold band onto his third finger.  Rin fell in love a thousand more times in the space of those ten seconds.  He tackled Haru down to the deck, his tears wetting Haru’s borrowed T-shirt.

“Haru, how did you…?”

Haru snorted.  “I should ask _you_ that.  It was my sketch.”

“Well no wonder I liked it!”  Rin’s face grew hot.  “Ugh, the jewelers knew the _whole_ time.”

“…And our sponsors.”

“Haseda-san too…”  He laughed against Haru’s throat.  “We’re the biggest dorks in the world.”

Haru chuckled, running warm fingers through his hair.  “I don’t care, Rin.  The entire world can know how much I love you.  _Fiancé._ ” 

Rin exhaled hard, lifting his head as the giddiness surged inside of him.  “Haru…”  They sank together, lips meeting through tears and wet strands of hair, one kiss blending into the next…

-x-

They spent the night in bed but not sleeping, the windows open to the sound of the crashing surf as they shed their clothes, pressing sighs and _I love you’s_ into each other’s skin. 

Even when they weren’t making love, Rin was too excited, too hyper to close his eyes.  There were times when he chattered on endlessly about plans and possibilities, while Haru held him and listened, his smile warm and bemused.  Other moments were quieter, as Haru whispered his hopes for the future, Rin not daring to interrupt or even breathe too loud, soaking in every word as Haru shared his heart.

In the early hours of the morning, they made tea and curled up in blankets on the balcony together, watching the sunrise over the start of their Someday, _sakura_ pink and rose gold above the blue Pacific on Christmas morning.

* * *

Saturday, December 31st, 2016

* * *

Leaving the balmy Australian summer for Japan’s cold and snowy winter was always a shock to Rin’s system, even after doing it for years.  They’d returned Friday morning, tanned and sunburned after a week of playing in the water—racing in the pool, snorkeling, wiping out on surfboards—and hanging out with Russell and Lori.  …And with plenty of time spent lying around with aloe on their skin and no clothes at all.

After one day to repack and sleep in their bed, they were off for home, bundled up in wool coats and scarves, strolling through a light snow shower on the way to Rin’s house.

“We’ll have to sleep with clothes on,” Rin muttered.

Haru glanced at him askance.  “Because it’ll be cold?”

“No!  Because my sister will be next door and my mom’s down the hall.”

Haru hummed his amusement, their hands laced together in the warmth of Haru’s coat pocket.  “It’s only a few days, Rin.  Two nights at your place, two nights with my parents…”

“You still brought—”

“Well, just in case.”

Rin grumbled behind his scarf, his face stinging from the cold as they turned off onto the side street where the Matsuoka house was.

The walkway had been shoveled—thoroughly and rather vigorously from the looks of it—Rin had his suspicions as to who had done it (both of whom were named Mikoshiba) because his mom and sister certainly hadn’t put _that_ much enthusiasm into snow removal. 

They headed in through the front door, setting their bags down in the entryway and wiping the snow from their boots.

_“Tadaima.”_

Gou flew in from the direction of the kitchen, ruby hair bouncing in a loose tail, wearing leggings and a sweatshirt.  “ _Okaeri_ , Onii-chan!  Haruka-nii-chan!”  Beaming, she hugged them both in turn.  “How was your Sydney honeymoon?!”

“ _Oi_ , it wasn’t…”  Rin trailed off as he met Haru’s gaze and blushed.  “Eh, it sort of was, wasn’t it?”

Haru smiled, his eyes lighting with pleasure.  “Sort of.”

“I knew it!”  Gou squealed softly, capturing Rin’s hand and ogling the ring.  “All that sun and summer…   I bet the muscles were amazing.”  She sighed dreamily, finally letting go.  “Anyway, enough about that.  We have a guest!  Come on!”

Rin arched a brow, Gou helping them hang up their coats.  They followed her from the entryway, warm in thick sweaters and long pants.

“I want a private pool for our real honeymoon,” Haru whispered for his ears alone.

“One week engaged and you’re already making demands,” Rin murmured, shooting his fiancé a teasing glance.

“Like you’d have it any other way, Rin.”

He grinned, catching Haru’s fingers loosely as they headed into the main room.

Rin’s mom was at the table in the dining room, tea steaming from three poured cups.  Rin blinked at the vaguely familiar man sitting across from her, his close-cropped black hair lightly streaked with gray.  As the man stood up from the table and smiled, recognition hit—he’d seen this man (a younger version of him) most recently in the pictures from Sydney 2000, standing next to his father in Team Japan gear.

“Matsuoka-san.”  The man extended his hand.  “I’m not sure you remember me.  The last time I saw you was probably…well, the funeral.  I’m Adachi Kiyoji.  I used to swim with your father.”

“Ah.”  Rin dipped his head, accepting the handshake.  “I remember you mostly from pictures, Adachi-san.”

The man nodded.

“Kiyoji-san was the one who gave us the event tickets,” Miyako said.  “He and your father were friends on the same swim team in high school and college.”

“Rivals foremost,” Adachi said.  “But we were friends too.”

Rin bowed low.  “Thank you for what you did for my family.”  _Because of you, they were able to see us swim in Rio._   He couldn’t even put into words how much that meant to him.

The man sighed.  “It was the least I could do.”  He turned away as Rin straightened, picking up a small paper bag with handles.  “Your father and I had the same dream.  I went to two Olympics and never medaled, while for him…”  There was sorrow in Adachi’s eyes as he offered the bag.  “This is something your father sent me decades ago.  I want you to have it, Matsuoka.  I wish I could’ve gotten it to you sooner, but I had to get tech help.”

Rin accepted the bag, his heart thudding in his chest as he peered inside, just catching a glimpse of a shiny DVD disc and an old-style 8mm video cassette.  His mouth went dry, a lump forming in his throat.

“My apologies for intruding on family time.”  Adachi smiled, bowing his head to Rin’s mom.  “ _Akemashite omedetou_.”

Miyako returned the greeting, coming around the table.  “Give my best to Natsumi-san and the girls.”

“I will.”

Rin bowed deeply, speechless, his mom and Gou seeing their guest to the door.  With shaking hands, he reached into the bag, pulling out both items.

His father’s handwriting was on the cassette label— _for Kiyo-kun_.  It was dated in August of 1997.

Rin managed to swallow, hardly breathing as he picked up the DVD disc in its slim case.  His mom and sister silently came back into the room.  Rin looked at them in turn, his mother’s knit brow and gleaming eyes…the way Gou pressed her lips, her hands laced together in front of her.  Wordlessly, Rin handed the disc to Haru.

-x-

They sat on the floor in the _tatami_ room, in front of the TV—Rin in the middle with Haru on his left and his sister on his right.  His mom was on the edge of the room, leaning on the door panel.

Haru hit _play._

 _“Miya, is it recording?”_  

Just the sound of his father’s voice sent tears rushing to Rin’s eyes.

Matsuoka Toraichi was standing in frame—younger than in Rin’s memories, with shorter brown hair and no glasses—in a white polo shirt and blue jeans.  The background was an apartment Rin didn’t remember.

_“Mm, yup, I think so.”_

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Well, there’s a blinking red light, isn’t there?”_

Toraichi laughed.  “ _Yeah, OK.  Eh_ …”  He looked at the camera.  “ _Kiyo-kun, it’s probably weird that I’m doing it this way, but ehhhh, I’m just gonna_.”  He raked a hand through his hair, his face sobering.  “ _Gomen.  I haven’t talked to you in more than a year and the last time…I said some really horrible things_.”  Toraichi pressed his lips.  “ _Gomen.  I can make every excuse I want about how you made it to Atlanta and I didn’t, but I still shouldn’t have said what I did_.”

 _Dad…_   Rin rubbed his eyes hard with the heels of his hands, trying to staunch the flow of his tears.

_“I want you to know I watched every race you were in—heats, semis, and finals.  I was cheering you on, every time.  I can finally say it now—congratulations, Kiyo.  Sorry it took me so long.”_

Toraichi glanced off screen, his hands clasped behind him.  _“To be honest, I was broken up about it for months—for almost a full year after the Trials.  For a while I resented everything and everyone, even those I cared about the most.  I’m not proud of any of that.  God, I was in such a spiral and I didn’t know how I was going to get out.  I’m still surprised Miyako put up with me through all of it.”_

 _“Oh, Tora…”_  His mother’s whisper was caught by the recorder.

 _“But then.”_   Rin’s dad looked at the camera again, his expression warming.  _“The most amazing thing happened—and, I’ll admit it.  This part, I’m gloating as hard as I can—”_

He stepped off screen and came back with an infant cradled in his arms—nestled asleep in a blue shark blanket with a mess of fine red hair.  _“This is my son, Rin.”_

Rin dissolved into tears, held upright only by Haru’s arms around his waist.  Gou had his right arm, sobbing against his shoulder.

_“Look at my little future Olympian!”_

_Dad_ —  Rin clutched Haru’s hand, barely seeing anything through his tears.

_“Even if he’s not into sports or swimming, it’s fine.  He’s perfect.  Kiyo, it’s like everything changed in an instant—the moment this tiny, red-faced boy came screaming into the world.  Everything I ever did in my life—nothing compares to becoming a father.  It’s like I finally know what life is all about.”_

Toraichi smiled at infant Rin, his eyes gleaming.  _“He's my Seoul, my Barcelona, my Atlanta—better than all three combined.  I can’t wait to see what kind of dreams he has—it’s his turn, now.”_   Rin’s father laughed.  _“And sure, we’re completely sleep-deprived, but this one’s so much fun we couldn’t wait to make another.  Miya, come over here.”_

_“Tora!  You didn’t say I’d have to…  I don’t have any makeup on—”_

_“You’re beautiful, come on.”_

_“Mnn.”_   Rin’s mom came on screen in a white and yellow dress, her hair loose around her shoulders, one hand resting on her pregnant belly.  She waved, managing a smile.  _“Hi Kiyoji-kun, Natsumi-san.”_

_“This little one’s due in December.  I have a feeling it’s a girl.  Honey, I like the name Gou.”_

_“It’s a bit boyish, don’t you think?”_

_“But that’s why it’s perfect!  If it ends up being a boy, we’ve got a great name then too!  It worked out fine with Rin.”_

Miyako sighed onscreen.

 _“Kiyo, you gotta try this someday,”_ Toraichi said, returning to the camera.  _“I know we talked about kids like it was a career-ending, world-ending thing, but this is the best thing I ever did.  I mean, come on, just look at him!”_ Toraichi held the baby out to the camera, infant Rin waking up and starting to cry.

_“Tora…”_

Toraichi wrapped the infant in his arms, bringing them face-to-face, almost nose-to-nose.  _“Aww, it’s OK, Rin.  Don’t cry—Daddy’s here.  Daddy’s here.”_

Rin slumped over in Haru’s arms, weeping as the video ended, his heart full and shattered at the same time.

-x-

He lost all track of time in the hours it took to piece himself back together.  Rin stared at the ceiling of his childhood room, at old glow stars and planets, fish stickers too.  His face felt hot and tight and raw; he didn’t think he’d ever cried that hard before.  But instead of feeling empty, it was more like a refreshing spring rain, watering the soil in preparation for new things to grow.

 _“I want family like that, Rin,”_ Haru had whispered during a lull in Rin’s tears, after they’d curled up.

_“Me too.”_

It had only been a few years, but they’d been filled with a lifetime’s worth of love.  Rin silently promised himself and Haru that he’d love like that—every day for the rest of his life.

A soft buzzing sound drew his attention, Haru grunting and rolling away to fish his phone from his pocket.  They were nestled together on top of the covers, fully clothed, with the sun rapidly setting outside Rin’s window.

“Ran and Ren again?” Rin asked.

“I probably shouldn’t have given them my cell phone number.”  Haru smiled fondly as he read the text.  “Should I tell them it’s not going to be a surprise if they ask five times if we’re coming?”

“Don’t you dare.”  Rin wrenched himself upright, swinging his legs over the side.  After fixing his sweater, he finger-combed the snags from his hair, a quiet sigh falling from his lips.

Strong arms wrapped around his midsection, Haru kneeling behind him on the bed.  “Rin?”  The whisper was pressed into his hair.

Rin smiled, covering Haru’s hands with his own.  “I’m OK.”  He found Haru’s left hand, bringing it to his lips, the tiny sapphire sparkling amidst the gold.  “Better than OK.”

“Mm.”  Haru snuggled in, hugging him tighter.

“Haru, thanks for being here.”

“Always, Rin.”

-x-

Haru’s phone buzzed three more times with texts from the Tachibana twins, including as they were climbing the stairs _in_ the restaurant, already hearing the breathless giggles coming from the upper banquet room.  Rin and Haru exchanged a warm glance, holding hands as they got to the closed doors and headed inside—

 _“Okekkon omedetou!”_   The lights came on, the room blinding with colored streamers, confetti flying and sticking to their clothes and hair.  The place was packed with their friends and family, including the Iwatobi and Samezuka swim teams.

“ _Oi_ , we’re not married yet, we’re _engaged_.” 

A whole round of eye-rolling and laughter met Rin’s attempts to clarify, Haru shrugging at his side.

“Haru-nii-chan!  Rin-nii-chan!”  The twins were the first to the door, making Rin and Haru duck so they could slip flowered crowns onto their heads.

“Come see the cake!  Mika-nee let us help.”  Ran and Ren pulled them over to the table of refreshments, the centerpiece being a three-layer cake decorated with the Olympic rings, gold medals, red sharks, and blue dolphins.

Rin arched a brow at the cake topper—chibi caricatures of them in their Team Japan swimsuits…with flower crowns on their heads and Rin being princess-carried in Haru’s arms.

“Rin-senpai, isn’t it great?”  Momo bounded over with Nagisa, both of them in tuxedo T-shirts.

“It looks just like Haru-chan and Rin-chan!”

Haru nodded.  “It’s good.”

Rin’s face heated.  “Gou, how much protein powder’s in the cake?”

“None.”  His sister pouted.  “But I did bring some in case anyone wants to add—” she produced a handful of silver packages.

Haru turned green; Rin was pretty sure his face was the same color.

The music started up and, even with parental supervision, the usual Iwatobi-Samezuka mayhem ensued ( _of course_ there was a muscle contest; when had any of Gou’s parties ever lacked one??  …and the Samezuka boys had crates of fireworks for the beach later, because mixing high schoolers and pyrotechnics was obviously a good idea).  But the party had its moments between cake and pictures and even water balloons.  As it turned out, Nitori could belt out an enviable Katy Perry as a tenor; it was during his cover of _Unconditionally_ that Rin and Haru got a second to breathe, swaying together in a first dance of sorts, surrounded by their friends and family and loved ones—

“Happy, Rin?” Haru asked in a whisper, their cheeks and flower crowns touching as they held each other with their hands clasped palm-to-palm, Rin’s arm around Haru’s shoulders; Haru’s circling Rin’s waist.

Rin curled his fingers tighter into Haru’s, smiling with his whole heart as he pressed his face into his fiancé’s hair.  “Yeah.”

* * *

Sunday, January 1st, 2017

* * *

They made the trek early Sunday morning, as the day was dawning across the snow and the crowds were flocking to the local shrines.  It was just the two of them, heading up to the bluff overlooking the bay, the tree that sheltered the Matsuoka family grave bare-limbed for the winter with beads of ice clinging to the tips of each branch.

Rin and Haru spent the first few moments working in silence, clearing the snow from the marker and tidying up.

The sunrise bathed them in hues of gold and blush, gleaming off the snow as they stood side-by-side in front of the grave, their palms pressed together and heads bowed.  There was so much Rin wanted to say—so many adventures he wanted to share…about Rio, about everything he’d found with Haru…and about the hopes and dreams that now stirred inside him.  But he had the feeling, in the stillness of that moment, standing in the witness of heaven, that his dad knew everything already.

As he reached for Haru’s hand, their gloved fingers interweaving, he thought about his parents—his dad holding him, his mom carrying Gou—and a vision formed in his mind, of him and Haru with the children they’d both dreamt of…with gold rings on their fingers and Olympic gold medals against their chests…  He saw pools and homes and children’s heights marked on the doorframe…and the four of them standing, someday, in this exact same place and moment—when Rin would tell their kids the story of Grandpa Toraichi—his life and love and legacy.

Rin smiled, warmth stinging his eyes despite the cold.  Squeezing Haru’s hand, he lifted his gaze to the endless sky.  “It’s a pretty great dream, isn’t it?” 

As Haru squeezed back, Rin glanced beside him, seeing the same eager determination shining in Haru’s eyes. 

“Watch us, Dad.”  He grinned.  “We’re gonna do it all.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much it--there's just a short (I hope!) epilogue to go. To everyone still reading--thank you so much! <3 Couldn't do this without you.
> 
> [Icebergs club](https://icebergs.com.au/)
> 
> [Mackerel ceviche recipe](https://www.alive.com/recipe/mackerel-ceviche/)
> 
> [Scratch off map](https://www.amazon.com/Scratch-Off-Maps-Detailed-Landmarks/dp/B075K3G8XF/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1526847833&sr=8-3&keywords=WanderLust+Maps)
> 
> [Star of the Show ferris wheel](https://www.darlingharbour.com/whats-on/star-of-the-show-ferris-wheel/)


	44. Epilogue: Follow the sun // Our shining, brilliant future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alskjdfaslkjdf This is done. Thank you for reading!! ❤❤❤

* * *

Monday, July 24th, 2028

* * *

_“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the finalists in the men’s one hundred meter freestyle.  In lane eight…”_

Rin stretched his arms above his head, grinning and sneaking a glance aside.  “Your record’s toast, Haru.”  They were in line in final call with the Los Angeles 2028 emblem on the wall at their backs, cheering pouring into the room through the entrance to the open-air Olympic Aquatic Stadium beyond.

Haru, making a final adjustment to his Team Japan swim cap, gave him a mild, simmering look in reply.  “I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that, Rin.”

“You’re _both_ going down.”  The voice came from behind them, in accented Japanese.  “No hard feelings, Coach.”

Rin’s smile grew as he turned, crossing his arms over his red and white warmups.  “Someone’s feeling extra sassy tonight.”

The twenty-two year old clad in Team USA gear grinned broadly at them, his brown eyes quick and eager, one dark curl escaping his swim cap.  “Like I’m letting you old guys have all the fun.”

Haru’s eyes sparkled with mirth, a smile warming his face.  “ _I’m glad we get to swim together tonight, Luis_ ,” he said in English.

“Haruka!”  Luis blushed hard, gazing at his idol with a sudden gleam in his eyes.  “ _You always have to say something sappy._ ”

Haru shrugged.  “ _I just said_ —”

“‘— _what I was thinking_.’”  Luis huffed, flicking his eyes towards the ceiling, though there was no mistaking the delight on his face.  “ _Come on, save it for the pool_.”

Rin laughed, hearing himself in the kid’s words.  “Haru.”  He reached for his husband—

_(Had it really been a decade?  It could’ve only been yesterday, the way Rin remembered the salty, tropical breezes washing over them and the feel of the sand beneath his feet.  The love in Haru’s eyes was the same now as it was the day they said their vows—for real—at the edge of the water, with their loved ones all around and the sun sinking into the Pacific…)_

They embraced briefly—one kiss for luck, their fingers weaving together.  The moment was electric as they touched, Rin feeling his elevated pulse along with Haru’s, the familiar rush of energy and excitement surging inside him. 

“ _Mr. Matsuoka, you’re up_.”  The official near the door motioned him forward, wearing khaki slacks and a white polo shirt with the LA 2028 emblem on the chest.

“Ah.”  He pulled away, but not before pressing one last kiss to Haru’s hand—to the gold silicone ring on his husband’s finger.

Blue eyes danced with pleasure as Rin finally let go, heading for the doorway.  The entrance glowed like sunrise—yellows, oranges, purples, and magenta pink rippling on the screen bearing his name. 

“ _In lane six, representing Japan_ …”  _“Dans le couloir six, représentant le Japon…”_

Rin flashed a grin at the cameras, the crowd already starting to roar.

“— _Rin Matsuoka_.”

He strode out, waving to the stands and the open skies, heading towards his block on the left side of the pool. 

“Matsuoka!!”  “Rin!!”  “Captain Matsuoka!” 

 _“Uncle Rin!!”_   His nieces and his nephew had _lungs_.

Grinning, Rin whirled, waving with both hands towards the nearby bleacher section where their family was—the four Elementary-school-aged kids right up against the rail behind a large Japanese flag.  Everyone was decked out in Team Japan gear.  Gou and Seijuurou’s daughters were on the left with their ruby curls and braids, waving stick flags.  Makoto and Mikan’s eldest son and daughter were on the right with rising sun bandanas on their foreheads and sharks and dolphins painted on their cheeks.  Behind them, Mikan cradled her and Makoto’s infant son while Nagisa and Rei managed their young, bouncing trio with Makoto’s help. 

…In the very center of the group, a pair of red-brown eyes went wide, Rin’s heart melting in his chest as three-year-old Toraki noticed him, leaning towards the rail in the safety of Ran’s arms.  “Daddy!”  He wore blue ear muffs over perpetually spikey brown hair and reached out with both arms, waving back.  “Daddy!  Daddy!”

Rin waved and blew kisses, warmth stinging his eyes as he grinned.

Next to little Toraki, two-year-old Sierra popped her thumb out of her mouth, blinking bright blue eyes, her red earmuffs nestled in soft black curls.  “Daddy!!”  She joined Toraki’s chorus, stretching for the rail with arms too short to reach, making grabby motions with her hands as she squirmed in Miyako’s lap.

The race didn’t matter in that moment; Rin’s entire world was his family in the bleachers and—

_“In lane five, representing Japan… …Haruka Nanase.”_

Deafening applause filled the stadium as Haru walked out, taking the lane adjacent to Rin’s.

“Nanase-senpai!”  “Haru-chan!!”  “Uncle Haruka!”  “ _Daddy Daddy!!_ ” 

Haru joined him, smiling, an ocean of affection in his eyes as they waved to their babies.  Toraki and Sierra wiggled so much that Ran and Miyako had to stand, holding the kids against the rail so they could see.

 _I love you_.  Rin blinked back the moisture in his eyes as he kept waving. 

_(The moment he opened the door and heard the baby’s cry, Rin had the wind knocked out of him, emotion lodging hot and tight in his throat.  He’d been around plenty of crying infants over the last few years…but it never hit him like this.  Slow steps brought him into the room, his eyes already filling with tears.  Mikan was resting now, her eyes closed, a few wisps of hair stuck to her cheeks while Makoto sat beside her, holding her hand.  The midwife hovered nearby.  Haru was at the window, standing in the blue pre-dawn; the healthy crying was coming from his arms.  “Rin—look.”  Haru’s voice was soft, just above a whisper.  His eyes were shining with awe, the tiny infant wrapped in a white blanket and held against his heart.  “We have a son.”)_

Rin thought he knew what love was before, but from the first moment he held Toraki in his arms, he realized that everything he felt prior was only a taste, a hint, a sliver.  The love he felt now filled oceans, the sky above, and all the starry heavens.  He’d move the world for his babies if only they’d ask.

_“In lane four, representing the United States of America…  …Luis Hernandez.”_

Thunderous cheering and the rattling of a zillion cowbells drew them back to the race and towards the blocks.  Luis strutted out in red, white, and blue warmups like he owned the place—grinning at the cameras and waving to the rafters—like nothing and no one could touch him—

 _“Good luck, Luis!_ ” Ran called from the stands. _“Ganbatte!”_

—No one _except_ Makoto’s sister, Ran.  Luis turned bright pink, waving at her shyly with an awkward grin on his face while Rin and Haru shared a smirk.

The start blocks sat on a ribbon of sunrise colors—deep indigo violet on the left blending into pink for the center lanes and into pale sunny yellow on the far right.  Rin and Haru shucked off their warmups, stripping down to matching black jammers with slashes of blue and red and tendrils of gold.  At the four-pulse whistle, they approached the blocks under warm, twilight skies, ten lanes and fifty meters of aqua water glowing in front of them.

Amidst all the cheering and shouting, Rin could still pick out their children’s voices; he was sure Haru could too.  As the long whistle sounded, Rin stepped up, setting his feet and centering himself with a breath.  Closing his eyes for the briefest moment, he lifted his hand to his lips, kissing the ring on his finger—the silicone imprinted with all four of their names.  He was swimming for his dream—for Haru, Toraki, Sierra, and himself.  Swimming was no longer _the dream_ —it was the means to get there.

“ _Take your marks._ ”

Rin snuck a glance at Haru as they bent down in unison to grip the blocks.  Haru was looking at him, too.  He grinned, Haru smiling back, his eyes eager and ready—

At the start, they leapt forward together.

* * *

_Four months prior – Sunday, March 26 th, 2028_

* * *

_It was a cool, early spring day with the sun poking through puffy white clouds and a gentle breeze rustling their kimono.  Rin’s and Haru’s garments swished as they walked, their pace slow enough for tiny legs.  Haru was up ahead with Toraki, the sunlight glinting off the gold crests on Haru’s black haori coat and the pattern on his traditional hakama pants.  Toraki wore a miniature version of the same clothes, only his haori coat was blue with waves and swordfish in white and gray.  Instead of the formal sandals, Toraki wore sneakers like the rest of them, his were black with silver velcro straps.  His hand reached up into Haru’s as he chattered non-stop, pointing out the world and asking questions.  Haru smiled down at their son, patiently answering each inquiry._

_Rin was a few steps back with their daughter.  Kanzashi swayed and sparkled in Sierra’s glossy raven hair; her kimono was red with whorls of lime green, yellow, sherbet orange, and white, and a pattern of pink sakura blossoms.  Her tiny fingers fit snugly in Rin’s hand as she toddled along in red sneakers, taking in the world with wide blue eyes and her thumb in her mouth, quiet except for the occasional question._

_The pool was on their left as they strolled, blue water shimmering in the sunlight on the other side of the fence.  Their destination was just up ahead; the old sakura tree at Iwatobi Elementary was in full bloom—every branch covered in pale pink blossoms.  Petals shaken free by the breeze were scattered on the ground beneath the tree and floated on the surface of the water.  The brick garden was still there—two decades later, the paint fading but still readable, Rin’s ‘For the Team’ next to Haru’s ‘Free.’_

_Haseda was waiting with her camera, snapping pictures of the tree.  At their approach, her lens shifted towards them.  She got in a few frames before Toraki noticed her._

_“Haseda-nee-chan!”  He broke from Haru’s hand and ran over.  “It’s picture day?”_

_Haseda dropped to one knee, accepting the boy’s hug.  “That’s right, little one!  Look at you, all dressed up in your kimono.”_

_“It’s swordfish!”  Toraki grinned, pointing to the pattern on his clothes.  “I picked it.”_

_“It’s the perfect choice, Toraki-chan.”  Haseda smiled, straightening Toraki’s haori coat._

_“Nn.”  Sierra pulled away from Rin, trotting over to join her brother.  “Hase-nee.”_

_“Ohayou, Sierra-chan.”  Haseda fixed a few black curls that had come loose during their stroll.  “Did you pick your outfit too?”_

_“Hai!”  Sierra beamed.  “It’s red.”_

_“I knew it’d be red.  You look lovely.”  Haseda touched the tip of Sierra’s nose, making the girl giggle.  “Are you ready for pictures?”_

_“Hai!”_

_“OK, then!”  Haseda ushered the kids back towards Rin and Haru.  “Just like always, pretend that I’m invisible.”_

_Toraki took Sierra’s hand, the two of them returning to the tree.  “Daddy,” Toraki whispered loudly to Rin.  “I can still see her.”_

_Rin winked at their son.  “You have to pretend, Tora.”_

_A puzzled look creased Toraki’s brow, Rin and Haru both smiling.  As usual, though, their son recovered quickly.  “Why pictures here, Daddy?”_

_“This is the school your Daddy and I used to go to,” Rin said.  “You might get to go here, one day.”_

_The boy’s eyes widened.  “I can?  Can I go now?”_

_Rin laughed.  “When you’re older.”_

_“But I wanna go now.”  Toraki pouted._

_Rin laid a hand on the boy’s head, ruffling his hair fondly._

_“This tree is very special,” Haru said, drawing the children’s attention._

_“Why, Daddy?” Sierra asked, toddling over and reaching up with both arms._

_Haru scooped the girl up, setting her on his hip.  “A long, long time ago—”_

_“Haru!  It wasn’t_ that _long ago—”_

_Haru’s eyes glittered at him over their daughter’s head.  “A sort-of long time ago, under this very tree, your Daddy promised to show me a sight I’d never seen before.”  Haru’s voice softened, his smile full of warmth and affection.  “Ever since that day, my life’s never been the same.”_

_“Haru…”  Rin drew a slow breath around the lump that formed in his throat, absently touching the sakura ring on his finger._

_“I wanna see!”  Toraki tugged on Rin’s sleeve.  “Daddy, show me too!”_

_Sierra twisted in Haru’s arms, one tiny hand clutching a fistful of Haru’s haori coat, the other reaching for Rin. “Me too, Daddy!”_

_“Ah.”  Rin blinked back the moisture in his eyes, sweeping their son up into his arms and moving in to catch their daughter’s hand.  He met the love shining in Haru’s gaze as a gentle breeze stirred through the limbs of the tree, sending a shower of sakura petals to land on their clothes and in their hair.  Smiling at his family, Rin made them a new promise—one for forever.  “We’ll see it together.”_

-x-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The kanji for Toraki is 虎輝. 虎 = tora (tiger, from Rin's dad's name) + 輝 = ki (shine)
> 
> "Follow the sun" is a tagline for [Los Angeles 2028](https://la28.org/)
> 
> [LA 2028 Aquatic Center - Artist Rendering](https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/50279803/28347800780_4b3e3612d8_k.0.0.jpg)
> 
> [Men's formal kimono](https://shop.r10s.jp/kimonokirara/cabinet/img57847383.jpg) (same kind as used for traditional Shinto weddings)
> 
> [Childrens' kimono](https://kyotokimono-rental.com/en/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/img-feat-vip-children-04.png)


	45. Artwork by Yohao88 aka “In Pursuit: the Abridged version” XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It occurred to me that probably no one but myself (and Yohao!) have seen all the pictures together. So here they are—all the pictures I commissioned from [@Yohao88](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yohao88/pseuds/Yohao88) to accompany this story :D Please visit Yohao88 here on [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yohao88/pseuds/Yohao88) or on [deviantArt](https://www.deviantart.com/yohao88/), [twitter](https://twitter.com/Yohao88), [tumblr](http://yohao88.tumblr.com/), and shower her with all the RinHaru love!! <3
> 
> Thank you so much, Yohao!! *sobbing*
> 
> Shared with permission. Headers link to the noted chapters; pics link to deviantArt. I included a snippet from the scene as well, so you don't have to go digging through the applicable chapter XD **Spoilers for the fic, obviously** :D I'm sorry there aren't any new scenes, but I have to get my brain and inspiration back ~~maybe S3 will help with that~~ ❤❤❤

_[Barcelona Free / Ch15](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553/chapters/21294782) _

[ ](https://www.deviantart.com/yohao88/art/Commission-for-ladyzeia-666487464)

> "Haru—" Rin's voice came out hushed as Haru slipped the glinting medal over his head, smoothing the red and orange lanyard against his shoulders. The gesture had heat circling Rin's throat, especially with the obvious happiness dancing in Haru's eyes.

* * *

_[São Paulo / Ch26](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553/chapters/25819080) _

[ ](https://www.deviantart.com/yohao88/art/Commission-for-Ladyzeia-690400728)

> The sun descended rapidly towards the horizon, blazing between buildings, and the temperature started to drop.  When he heard Rin yawn, Haru righted himself, standing in the waist-deep water.  Rin was sitting on the steps with his towel on his head, looking sleepy.  Jetlag.  It was past their bedtime in Spain.
> 
> They were the only ones in the pool.  Haru waded over, stopping at the base of the steps, in front of Rin’s knees.  “The sun sets early here.”
> 
> Rin stifled another yawn.  “Because it’s winter, dummy.  We’re in the other hemisphere.”
> 
> _Oh, right._   He leaned in, bracing a knee on the steps and his hands to either side of where Rin was sitting.  “I’ve been to all the hemispheres.”
> 
> Rin cocked a brow.  “There’s only two.”
> 
> Haru smiled and snuck a kiss.
> 
> Rin looked at him slyly as they parted.  “We got in trouble for this before, Haru,” he said, winding his arms around Haru’s neck.
> 
> “We’re mostly not in the pool, Rin.”
> 
> “Right…”  Rin smiled, his eyes dancing with mirth.  “Like that’s gonna fly with Coach Maekawa.”  But Rin was the one pulling him in for a longer, sweeter kiss…and tangling fingers into his hair as the sunlight faded.

* * *

  _[Rio Opening Ceremonies / Ch30](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553/chapters/27618678)_

 [](https://www.deviantart.com/yohao88/art/Commission-for-Ladyzeia-708150293)

> “Haru, did you see that one?”  Crimson fireworks sliced across each other, followed by long rings of gold, red, and pink.  “ _Haru!_ ”  Rin shook his lover, barely containing his glee.  “Are you watching?”
> 
> “Yeah.  I am, Rin.”  But Haru wasn’t looking at the fireworks.
> 
> Rin’s breath caught as he met Haru’s gaze, the fireworks shimmering off black hair and Haru’s blue eyes—  Eyes that were  _moist_  and full of him.  Rin saw himself—all boyish and grinning and  _free_ —and there weren’t any words.  The pleasure in Haru’s smile was staggering and Rin knew he’d never find a love like this again.  In that moment, he wanted to believe that God  _had_ heard those prayers he’d sobbed into his pillow as a child, not bringing his dad back to him like he’d begged, but giving him a miracle all the same.
> 
> Haru’s smile only brightened.  “Show me more, Rin.”
> 
> He was grinning so hard his cheeks hurt.  Rin tugged Haru closer, pointing again as the sky continued to sizzle and burst overhead—

* * *

[ _Stretching… / Ch34_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553/chapters/29773692)

__

> “Rin-senpai!  Rin-senpai!”  Momo’s appearance was preceded by rapid slaps of wet feet on the pool deck.  “Are you stretching?”
> 
> _What the fuck else would I be doing, Momo?_   Rin rolled his eyes, using his arm to ward off drips of water as the kid leaned over him.  “What’s it look like?”
> 
> “Hee.”  Momo grinned, his orange hair all wet and askew, his goggles and swim cap clutched in one hand.  He bounded off.  “Sada-nee!  Will you stretch with me?”
> 
> “You want help, Squeaker?”  Sada wasn’t that far away, adjusting the straps of her black and  _sakura_  kneeskins.
> 
> “Haha!  Momotarou, your stretching partner’s right here!”  Mikoshiba, wet from the pool, flung an arm around his brother’s shoulders.
> 
> “Awww.”
> 
> “Come on, let’s work on your quadriceps femoris.  It’s Gou-kun’s favorite muscle group right now.”
> 
> Rin’s brow twitched as Mikoshiba wrestled his kid brother down onto the mat next to theirs.  Momo ended up on his stomach with Mikoshiba folding his left leg like a chicken wing.
> 
> Momo squirmed and pounded on the mat.  “Ehh, Nii-channn.”
> 
> Rin fought a sigh, his rueful smile matching Haru’s. 
> 
> “Other leg, Rin?”
> 
> “Yup.”

* * *

_[100m free final / Ch34](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553/chapters/29773692) _

__

> _“Take your marks.”_
> 
> Rin tensed, his whole body waiting on the buzzer—
> 
> It sounded and he sprung forward in streamline…the pool was theirs the instant their fingertips pierced the surface.  They plunged into the cool, quiet world underneath; Rin didn’t bother looking at anyone but Haru as they dolphin-kicked to fifteen meters.  It was an all-out sprint from the moment of his first stroke and every time he surged forward, Haru was there.  It wasn’t at all like high school, when Rin trained harder and was constantly testing and pushing Haru to try more.  No, Haru was doing it too now, only they weren’t  _pushing_ ; each burst of speed was an invitation rather than a test—an extended hand and a whisper,  _Come with me to dreams, Someday, and forever…_
> 
> They curled into the turn at the same time, Haru pushing off slightly ahead.  But Rin had more to give.  He surfaced first with thirty-five meters to go.  Haru caught up.  By twenty-five meters, they were dead even; at the fifteen-meter mark, Haru had a hand’s length lead—
> 
> _Oh no you don’t—_   Rin’s muscles were burning and his lungs were on fire,  _but I promised you a sight you’ve never seen before_.  For the final fifteen meters, he went breathless, his hands slicing into the water until the final reach for the wall—
> 
> From the corner of his eye, he could see Haru’s outstretched arm, going for the finish at the exact same time—  Rin slapped the tile wall and popped up, sucking in lungfuls of air.  He had no idea what his time was or which of them had finished first, but he knew— _knew_ —he’d just swam the best hundred free of his life—
> 
> Haru was one lane over, breathing just as hard, and everyone was screaming so loud Rin couldn’t hear a thing—not even the announcer’s voice. 
> 
> Rin swam to the line between them.  Haru met him there, their arms wrapping around each other as they both fought to catch their breath.
> 
> “Did you look yet?” Rin asked, their swim caps touching.
> 
> “I’m scared to,” Haru said.
> 
> “Dummy.”  Rin grinned; he didn’t have enough breath to laugh.  “We can—”
> 
> _“Ladies and gentlemen, please congratulate the gold and silver medalists from Japan—”_

* * *

[ _Epilogue_ ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9406553/chapters/34158069)

_[](https://www.deviantart.com/yohao88/art/Commission-for-Ladyzeia-752153525) _

> _“This tree is very special,” Haru said, drawing the children’s attention._
> 
> _“Why, Daddy?” Sierra asked, toddling over and reaching up with both arms._
> 
> _Haru scooped the girl up, setting her on his hip.  “A long, long time ago—”_
> 
> _“Haru!  It wasn’t_ that _long ago—”_
> 
> _Haru’s eyes glittered at him over their daughter’s head.  “A sort-of long time ago, under this very tree, your Daddy promised to show me a sight I’d never seen before.”  Haru’s voice softened, his smile full of warmth and affection.  “Ever since that day, my life’s never been the same.”_
> 
> _“Haru…”  Rin drew a slow breath around the lump that formed in his throat, absently touching the sakura ring on his finger._
> 
> _“I wanna see!”  Toraki tugged on Rin’s sleeve.  “Daddy, show me too!”_
> 
> _Sierra twisted in Haru’s arms, one tiny hand clutching a fistful of Haru’s haori coat, the other reaching for Rin. “Me too, Daddy!”_
> 
> _“Ah.”  Rin blinked back the moisture in his eyes, sweeping their son up into his arms and moving in to catch their daughter’s hand.  He met the love shining in Haru’s gaze as a gentle breeze stirred through the limbs of the tree, sending a shower of sakura petals to land on their clothes and in their hair.  Smiling at his family, Rin made them a new promise—one for forever.  “We’ll see it together.”_


End file.
